#like if im putting my stuff out to the world at large i need a marketing team so no one gets to pretend im not there lmao

[asterdeer]

my most inescapable fear wrt my writing is that i’ve spent years honing the way i want my stories to feel and sound from theme to individual word choice and the more i get to the way i want to write, the less anyone wants to read it

[drchucktingle]

my masks

hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.

im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great. 

lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is. 

unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.

the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.

ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield

anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum

when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned. 

later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.

HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.

anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’. 

when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.

one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’

so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?

my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)

from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept. 

the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.

eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.

lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.

this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.

the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.

a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual. 

fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist

[sunflowerkiwis]

Teammate

oscar piastri x reader - part one | ongoing summary: in which everyone around them can tell they're in love with each other except for... well, them feedback is appreciated + requests are open! enjoy xx part one | part two | part three (coming soon)

f1_updates.daily

liked by logansargeant and 98,126 others

f1_updates.daily Y/n Y/l/n and Oscar Piastri were seen out tonight at a very fancy restaurant. They were a round another large group that included some of Y/n's friends. What could the pair have been doing together? Do we spy a romance between the two McLaren teammates? 👀👀

view all comments

user01 ...logan...what are you doing here...

user03 winning the idaf war bc he does not give a fuck about exposing them💀 user05 exposing who?? we all know they're in love already

user07 THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN SAYING FOR A HALF THE SEASON

user09 FR ALL IT TOOK WAS SOME PAP PHOTOS FOR PEOPLE TO CATCH ON user11 we literally have videos of them staring at each other like they're carrying the world on their shoulders but nobody sees it😭

yln.yn

liked by oscarpiastri, yourbestfriend, and 1,203,486 others

yln.yn my (not) date - congratulations to diana and co. on the new company! to new beginnings and success🥂

tagged: oscarpiastri, yourfriend

view all comments

user02 that "not date" did not convince me. at all.

user04 the way he's looking at her too, mans is WHIPPED

user06 yn, honey, i don't think 'not date's look at eachother like they're completely in love with each other

logansargeant Aww, such a cute couple

oscarpiastri Shut up yln.yn sorry, i can't hear you over the sound of me blocking u user08 he's not wrong though

mclaren looking good, team!

landonorris putting the mate in teammates!!

user10 lando you might wanna rethink that one 💀 user12 no, i think we all know what he meant- yln.yn you, too, are blocked, kind sir

yln.yn

liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, and 1,198,206 others

yln.yn im not as blind as ya'll think... anyway, can't wait to get back on track this weekend! see you all there🧡

view all comments

user13 literally all of us rn: 🤡🤡🤡

user15 damn, u don't gotta call us out like that...

user17 not everyone actually forgetting they both see this stuff after tweeting under their BEST FRIEND'S post

user19 um, hi, hello, WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THE SECOND PIC

user21 EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS user23 yooo, do we think it's oscar? user21 um, absolutely????????

oscarpiastri Nice glasses. Where can I get some? Because apparently I need them too

yln.yn thanks, i'll make you an appointment boo oscarpiastri Very much appreciated username25 oscar don't be salty, this your own obliviousness bae logansargeant About time you got some

[b1mbodoll]

i dont know why hybrid breeders thought it was a perfect idea to put bunny!you in a cage with wolf!nicho (＞人＜;) he so obviously could break you to pieces but instead he likes to play with you! pulling on your ears and flicking your tail :( it's enough to make you whine everytime but he doesn't care !!!! and eventually when his heat comes, you can tell bcs hes twice as mean when teasing you, pushing you down and lifting your ass up so he could "play with you like normal" but the whole time his hybrid cock is running against your pussy TT n when you get really fussy it gets hard not to fill you all the way up completely (non con) ★★★ literally theres no way you're getting out of his hold! you can cry and try to push him away but hes 10x stronger than you and his heat makes him soooo hot all he can think abt is making your tummy swell up with his pups! (so unrealistic but i know you're into it but imagine him fucking his knot into you so deep it starts pooling out your mouth and your eyes are rolled back and u cant do anything but feel it completely)

love 🎀 anonie!

pairings: nicholas wang x f! reader

warnings: hybrids + inflation + knotting + breeding + blood + noncon + jealousy + a/b/o dynamics + drool + daddy kink + subspace + inflation

💌: i had to prio this bc its so dreamy like 😵‍💫 u included a lot of my fave kinks n tropes n im so thankful i love u so much for swndinf this my way idk how much i can add on bc its lrtrly perfect but i hope i do it justice !

the first time you and nicho r forced into the same cramped cage your heart was racing and ur tail was twitching so bad :( your reaction tugged at nicho’s heartstrings but the lust he felt was overpowering any bit of sympathy. he’s not a complete monster so he doesn’t take your virginity immediately. instead the wolfboy satiates his sick need to torment you by tugging at your loppy ears and mouthing at your cotton tail, strings of saliva coat the entire thing n pool at your asshole.

he doesn’t go any further yet, has to get you used to the “tame” stuff before he can fuck you raw. tries to hold back for as long as he can but the closer he gets to his rut, the less self control he has n it’s your fault he’s got his teeth planted on your shoulder as he slips his cockhead inside. “your pussy is so tiny, bunny,” he murmers, words slightly slurred from the drool escaping him, “gonna fuckin’ tear you apart.”

before he’s able to fill you up completely, nicho’s needed in the breeding room n your handler lets you out into the gated pasture, doing their best to keep you two in seperate enclosures from that moment on.

it’s been a week since your caging situation was sorted n the wolfboy is lucky if he catches a glimpse of you through a fence. words cant describe how furious nicholas is, snarling at the sight of bunny hybrid! euijoo cuddling up to you under a tree wishing he could scare the male into submitting to him n prove to you that he’s the prime mating choice.

it’s not long before your luck runs out and wolf! nicholas corners you after your caretakers have gone to bed. he’s so large and intimidating and his cold stare makes your legs shake with fear. the silence is deafening and he breaks it by asking to play, the question making your blood run cold because in his world, “playing” means letting him grope you n leave bloody lovebites across your chest. he doesn’t bother waiting for a reply because no matter how much you refuse he’s not gonna leave you alone. he needs to touch you.

nicho decides to go about toying with you differently this time. has to put you in your place n get it through your head that you nd your bunnycunt belong to him! snarls when he gets a whiff of euijoo’s scent, “present f’me, slut” he demands and the need to obey is so strong. has you opening your legs immediately, small hands spreading your hole open to expose your pussy. he groans at the sight and his mind becomes cloudy due to his impending rut, cant take the time to prep your cunt for his huge cock so he just opts to get it over with and makes you take his entire length in one go. “knew you’d feel good ‘round my cock,” his voice is thick, “gonna make you have my pups, bun.” more filthy words are directed to you n they have you keening, fucking yourself on his cock faster n faster.

it’s easy to slip into a submissive headspace, the feeling of his balls slapping your clit and knot beginning to inflate are overwhelmingly delicious leaving you no choice but to beg. “pleasepleaseplease cum, alpha! need your knot so bad i hafta make you a daddy!” nicholas fucking howls when his seed shoots directly into your womb and it makes your eyes cross. even after his knot reaches its full size he continues grinding his cock into you, cum getting pushed so deep inside it spills out of your open mouth n trickles down your chin. he’s too far gone and can’t stand the sight of his semen dripping out, cups your jaw with his hands n covers your mouth, makin you choke on the creamy fluid <3

[jocelynscrazyideas]

I Know You | Matt Rempe x reader

Inspired by the song I know you by Faye Webster

Warnings: heartache, salty fluff/angst, language, depression, mentions of death, (if you every need help I’m always here to listen and support you- always reach out and I’m here bubbas), the blurb is kinda long lwk. NOT PROOF READ

Summary: after wanting to follow your passion and go for a job you’ve been dreaming of, Matt turns down your dreams and shuts you out. You feel insufferable without him but feel unseen for your love and potential when you’re together.

a/n: I’ve been thinking abt Matt and I was listening to this song on the shower and I was like “damn, this is it.” So I hope you enjoy.

📚💬: Lando Norris? Or I could make a new blog and post there but yippee 🥳 OML and I know everyone likes my smut work more but im proud of this piece so don’t be mean. MATT REMPE WOULD NEVER DO THIS IRL (READ THSI WITH A GRAIN IF SLAT)

.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺༻

I had recently been really verbal about my dream job, being a Social Worker. I grew up in a family issued home, and I had recently gotten out. I want to let people know that there is safety and secure housing out there. That’s why this job has always been important to me.

It’s off season, Matt is off ready to train for the summer. Matt, my boyfriend if 5 months had recently told me to reach farther than the stars. “The sky looks like the limit, but there are most definitely more than one universe out there. Reach for the impossible.” He told me. Matty supported my dreams until he found out the job I wanted to take was in Wyoming.

Now it seems stupid but, I’d go across the world to take the job- im determined to rescuing the unseen.

“You should stay! Find a social worker association in New York! Please.” Matt begged. For weeks he would buy me flowers and take me out to dinner.

“Matt you just don’t get it!” I yell from the other side of our shared bed.

“I know you better than I know myself y/n! Of course I get it.” He shouts in my face. He stumps towards me. I crawl over the large bed and run out the room. I slam the door. Running for my shoes.

“You can’t just run!” He screams from the top of the stairs. He watches me slide my shoes on, he runs down the stairs as he sees me darting for my water bottle and the keys to my car.

“You don’t get it Matt! I lived it! You didn’t!” I immediately shout, he takes a hold of my wrist. He scoffs and lets me go. Dropping my heart, my stomach, my air, and I leave.

I have a work cell and a personal phone. Matt has my work number but not the location so I purposely left my personal on the counter and left. “You left your phone! y/n!” He shouts as I get in the car.

“Keep it! That’s how you’ll remember me! How you treated me!” I mimic him. Mocking what I had thought was the love of my life- which clearly I was wrong.

He runs after me. I see him dash inside of the house letting the glass door shut into the frame. He rubs out of the house once more, this time sitting the door securely.

Surely he’s just going to the grocery. No. He’s driving after me.

I take a sharp left, right. I pass through a light, I turn into a neighborhood, behind a blue house was a path. I park in the Parking lot they had taht sits infront of a large pink and organge playground. I take my keys and let my water sit in the car.

I tie my shoes and sprint away. I make it to .14 miles and I check to see Matt isn’t behind me. No one is on the path. I set my phone down and I tighten my runners belt.

I stuff my keys and push my phone in. I put my AirPods in and stuff the case into the belt. I listen to sad songs to fuel my running crave. I stretch after that warmup.

I hear cars passing by. “I’m sorry, i am playing hide and seek with my girlfriend, she is hiding with my niece I was wondering if you have seen her.” I stand up from my stretches.

What the fuck.

I’m behind a wall of bushes that hide the running path. I slide my head over, I peek through. Shit.

It’s Matt.

“Her name in is y/n. If you see her just tell her to meet me at the green marble.”

Green marble. The place I took him when he had his first panic attack after an nhl game. I calmed him down at this lake and it was super clear- really beautiful. The green marble was the place we spend the most time at together, our first kiss happened here, our last date was here.

The real reason why we call it the green marble is because I was wearing a green dress and he had on socks that I made fun of, they were marble/ tie dye.

~

Matt turns as I jerk back. He made eye contact with me through the bush. “Y/n?” He mumbles. He apologizes to the stranger he was talking to and walked toward me. I ran. I ran to my car. Letting him think I was getting in. I watch him turn around and head to his car.

He thinks he’s going to follow me out of the park. Nope.

I take off. I start on a small jog towards the duck pond they have. I run around this pond about four times which lead to about 1.43 miles.

I get tired of letting Matt eat away my feelings. I run back to my car, I stretch before I get in and I drink my water. I’m covered in bug bites and sweat. It’s 92F out, I’m wearing pink gym shark shorts and a black bra from alo yoga. My hokas are worn down, and my Nike socks are covered in dirt.

I head back towards home, then I see Matt’s car isn’t there. He doesn’t park in the garage so I’m guessing he’s just out drinking his emotions away.

~

“Meet me at the green marble.”

I never him saying to the stranger.

~

I reverse my car out of the driveway and I head to the lake.

“You actually came.” He laughed. Matt got up, wiped his hands on his shorts.

“How many girls asked to take a picture.” I laugh.

My mom used to tell me, “sometimes you just have to be the bigger person, let the other person think they have won the argument, but really, letting them move on is the best win. Forgetting and forgiving is the best gift you can do for yourself, and especially in big moments and relationships you’ll have when you’re older.” I think about it taht all the time.

Does it work? Oh yeah. It sure does. Matt falls for it all the time.

Ms I doing it right now? Of fucking course I am.

Do you know how some people say that men push away their emotions? Yeah Matt is distant, and I want him to be more open. He just gets insecure.

~ after the beach ~

Matt tried to shower with me, and i was okay with the thought of us showering together again. Until, “bubs, the hamper is full again.” He spoke to me. He looked at me like I was the only one who was capable of doing siad laundry.

“Okay.” I stared at him. I didn’t shower. I put on pjs instead. While Matt showered I packed a go bag, you never know when you need it.

I stored the bag by the shoes downstairs. I ran back upstairs to lay in bed.

“Matthew. We need to talk.” I mumbled when Matt came into bed. He leveled his head to mine and pulled me closer to him. My back still facing his front I pull my hands towards my face. Covering my face from any chance that I could cry.

“What do you want ti talk about?” He asked and kissed my cheek. He lay back down on his back and sighed.

“I wnat you. I all of you, you here in New York with me.” He voiced.

I told him before he got drafted- when we were still friends, that I didn’t wnat him to leave. You know what he did? He left for New York anyway.

“I made a decision. You aren’t going to like.”

“Y/n. I love you, I will come to your senses.” He laughed. He thinks my words are jokes.

Before I tell him I am leaving, I get up. Sitting up straight, getting out of bed. I made this decision about for seconds after packing my go bag, “Matt, I love you. I also love myself, and- I… I wnat to go to Wyoming.” I stutter and I see him sit up. Without hesitation he looked at me like I was a piece of garbage.

“No. Y/n this is something we talk about together.” He shouted at me. Spot flies out of his mouth.

“It’s my job, they offered me a really nice deal, they house me for a year and that’ll get me enough money to buy a nice house. I’ll be able to pay everything off my name.” I present him the idea of me being successful.

“No.” He lays back down, thinking I’ll say okay, and sit with him in bed again.

That’s not what happened.

“If you leave right now, we’re done. Yiu hear me? If you leave the room, we are not a thing, we are breaking up if you go sleep on your car, or sleep in the guesthouse.” He adds before I stepped out of the room.

I left. I grabbed the door before leaving and I ran.

I shoved my bag into my backseat, I had extra clothes, I had snacks, my work cell, blankets, my personal belongings I was okay to sleep in my car for atleast three days.

~

It’s been a year without Matt.

It’s been a year without me.

When I was driving to a friends house to spend the night, I never made it.

A drunk driver had hit my car, I came flying out. Following that, another driver had ran a red light, running me over.

I had six broken ribs, a fractured wrist, I tore my meniscus and my acl from landing on the pavement.

When Matt came driving behind me looking for me, it was only after Sarah- my friend I was going to spend the night, with called him.

“Hey Matt, um, y/n didn’t make it to my house. She said you guys are getting in it and needed a place ti stay. It’s been an hour since she said she’s on her way, it only takes 15 minutes to get to my house.”

“Okay? Maybe traffic?” He answered.

“No Matt, you’re not listening, it’s 2:07 in the morning. There is no traffic, we’re in the suburbs, no one is up right now except drunk drivers, I have something in the oven because I thought she would wnat a dinner but she never made it.” Sarah sounded sacred she couldn’t leave.

“Okay fine. I’ll go looking for her.”

“Matt, it was always going be you looking for her. If I went out for her, she would have left you.”

~

I was on the cold black pavement waiting for someone to come get me. I couldn’t move. My lungs are crushing, my car is broken, the drivers taht and hit me all drove away. So much pain is going through my body it feels like nothing is happening.

I took a different way then I normally would have taken, just in case Matt came looking for me.

“Matt..” I kept whispering. I’m bleeding everywhere. My head is cracked open. My arm is twisted in ways it shouldn’t be.

I try rolling over, I could not get on my side, but before I feel back down, I felt my stomach. My actually guts. My actual organs were in my hands. I rolled back down in the cold now flooded with blood road.

I see a car roll up towards me. I know that car.

“Matt?” I cough out blood. I can’t see.

“Baby?!” He called 911.

He curled over me. Putting pressure onto my open wounds.

I know better than to pass out, but I give up. I felt my heart beat slow and I fell asleep.

Alseep forever.

~

At the hospital I was out in machines to stay alive. There was 5% taht I would wake up again, but I would not be able to function the way I could before the crash.

Matt stayed with me for days, he never left the hospital grounds he was always there, he showered at home but that was only during non visiting hours.

He would talk to me.

“I know baby.”

“It’s okay. I know you.”

“You can go. I’ll be here doing this for you.”

“I know you.”

[nvuy]

How do you write so well? I'm trying to get into writing because I YEARN to create, but it is very difficult. Do you have any tips? I try and create, but it feels like there is a brick wall in my brain 😫 I also struggle to come up with ideas 😭😭

oh worm thank you so much im so honoured… i don’t want to just say ‘practise,’ even though that is half of quite literally improving in anything.

i am going to long post now. you’re welcome. this is my little guide to writing. in no way am i saying my writing is perfect and world class five stars, but this is just some things i learned along the way that helped me get better!!!

now this is all assuming considering you read my works that you also want to write reader inserts, but even if that’s not the case, i think all this stuff applies to normal writing as well.

what i do like to think is that ‘good writing’ is very very subjective. for example, i prefer much more philosophical pieces, ambiguous endings, extensive world building, and things like that, and i like to put it in my writing.

however, what you may like about my writing could be what someone else absolutely hates. not everyone can be bothered to read 4 pages on a heavy description of a quiet deserted street in the rain, or a dusty old library , or the bustling atmosphere of a cafe. some writers like to do scenarios without fully developed plots. some do.

WRITING IN A NUT SHELL

what really helps is to find where you lie on this spectrum. do you prefer overtly poetic descriptive writing, or straight to the point, no beating around the bush? or does it depend?

i know it’s sounds taxing to write heavy descriptions and worldbuilding and this and that, but if you like to read it, chances are you may also like to write it yourself.

this is a tip i lowkey thought was common sense, but i’ve spoken to moots on discord and other platforms about it, and a lot of writers just… don’t know about it?

basically it’s that A First Draft is a First Draft. this has been said time and time again. j.r. tolkein didn’t write LOTR in a day, rowling did not write the entire harry potter series in one shot. nobody did that.

as well as this, my first drafts never start out as fully fledged stories. most of them look like this:

notice the obnoxiously large gap in between? yep! two entirely different scenes, but under the same concept. you don’t need cohesion in your drafts. that comes with time. get all your ideas down first.

my first drafts are awful. they’re absolute dogshit. most of the time, i abandon a lot of my works altogether. but i never delete anything, because sometimes i may come back and suddenly get inspiration again.

most of my first drafts look like this:

notice how it lacks with everything. there’s no flavour here. it’s incredibly dialogue heavy, and it’s clearly supposed to have some sort of surreal feeling to it.

come back to it later only when i feel like it and rewrite it only when you feel like it:

same concept, same exact scene, but now it has more emotion. because i’ve written it a second time, or maybe even a third, or fourth (anymore than that, and im sorry, but drop it. it’s doing you more harm than good). so many people hit this writers block because they want their first draft to be perfect and it won’t ever be.

don’t focus on the itty bitty details. get the idea down first. you can always come back later. it really really helps to get out of ruts and stuff.

another thing: You Don’t Need To Start With Writing Fanfics Right Away. and i wouldn’t recommend it. not doubting you, or any other young bright-eyed writers, but fanfics are gruelling work that require lots and lots of planning.

i would honestly recommend getting started and finding comfort with one shots and/or headcanons, or drabbles, or whatever else short fics are called, because they require a lot less dedication, and it’s a lot more fun, because you can spring from one idea to another. majority of my works are short fics for a reason. it’s a lot easier to write, and i personally find it more enjoyable :) try it out!

IDEAS: WORLDBUILDING

(this next segment is assuming your fic wants to take place in a different area than canon) (otherwise, check out descriptions/images/videos of the place your world is supposed to be set in!! same idea!!)

if you’re unsure about worldbuilding and what exactly this place you’re creating is supposed to look like or how it might function, browse pinterest! there’s so many real and/or fake & rendered places on that site. is your area really cold and constantly snowing? search up some art with those key words. it could help you gain a clearer image!

let’s use an example: say the world im building my fic is based in a very cold, always snowing, always icy town. we go on pinterest, have a bit of a look around, and then we go Ooh this looks interesting!!

this is a painting by alexander andriyanov.

who are these people? where are they? what’re they doing? is horseback and carriage their primary mode of transport? do these people have access to vehicles like cars? do cars exist in my world at all? what are the surrounding buildings? etc etc.

TLDR: what im trying to say is if it helps you, look at something, listen to music, watch a movie, and then ask the question How Do I Make This About Me?

this speedpaint by darek zabrocki helped me get an idea of what snezhnaya in my multi chapter fic on ao3 was supposed to look like. obviously snezhnaya isn’t released in genshin just yet, so it allows me a lot of creative freedom in that regard.

you can always always use other people’s works as inspiration. why do you think so many songs these days use samples from older tracks? it’s basically the same thing. obviously, don’t downright copy, that’s plagiarism, but seriously. if you’re struggling to create this world in your head, pinterest is your best friend.

IDEAS: PLOTS & THE CENTRAL CONFLICT

in terms of coming up with actually plot ideas, i said it before and i’ll say it again. movies, shows, games, other people’s stories, other fanfics/books, paintings and other forms of artwork, history, etc.

if you’re writing a fanfic, most writers like to take the canon route, and you’re welcome to do that.

if you’re worried about your own ideas being lacklustre or you can’t think of anything, but the canon storyline is good for your fic, canon divergence is always fun!

for example! i haven’t posted it here, but i always did have this idea of a neuvillette centric fic based on the love letter he received in one of the world quests. so you take something that happened in the game, and then you ask AGAIN: How Do I Make This About Me?

in terms of thinking up an entirely different idea or concept or prompt or whatever you want to call it, there’s honestly no right or wrong way of doing it. it’s really, really difficult though. i have so many ideas that are more suitable for one shots that fully fledged fanfictions.

again, read books you like. read other people’s works. read lore of the fandom you’re writing about, or better yet, sometimes i go off of a fleeting thought that a random NPC said at some point in the storyline that had little to no effect on the story.

what constitutes as a good plot and a bad plot is a matter of opinion. as long as there’s evident improvement (or the opposite, if that’s your fancy) of your characters in your story, whether that be their personality, relationship with others, or whatever, then you’ve successfully written a cohesive narrative.

how most of my works start is actually because i randomly come up with one scene in my head that haunts me. i call them Brain Rots™.

for example, in my scaramouche fic on ao3, the scene that started the entire thing was of some sort of solider that presented a ring to the doctor in a very cold and barren wasteland.

and then i asked, what is the significance of this ring? is the solider injured? should the doctor care? why are they there in the first place? where is this place? where do they go after this?

hopefully you get the picture.

TLDR: figure out what makes your Brain Rot™ about the particular scene that’s playing on repeat in your head, find your inspiration through any sort of media you enjoy consuming that you find directly links to your ideas (because most likely if you enjoy something, you’ll be inspired by it more than you would with something you actively don’t like) (and this ‘media’ ranges from pictures, real life anecdotes/stories, video games, other fics, music, art, etc.), ask questions (How Do I Make This About Me), and then answer them yourself!!!!

and also just practise and practise and practise!!! you will subconsciously develop new skills by consuming media and reading other people’s works that you really like. it all comes with time :) !!!!!

[smthabtgiyuu]

hiii babe!!! i saw ur reqs open and wanted to ask for anything platonic (tsuguko maybe) reader x gyomei or tengen! i might be back soon, im a sucker for cute platonic stuff 🥹 love ya 💗!

ahhh ofc ofc!! thank you so much for requesting love!! 🫶🏾🫶🏾 (pls forgive the formatting, i'm still rather new to tumblr 😅)

platonic tengen uzui and gyomei himejima w/ their tsuguko ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

"so...um, this is one of the most dangerous foods in the world and you eat this on a daily basis?" you swallow nervously as you look down at the plate of fugu awaiting you.

"mhm!" he grins, popping another thin slice into his mouth, at which you grimace. "come on, just try it! it's been cleaned of all it's toxins and prepared professionally."

you purse your lips, staring intensely at the assortment of pristine white fish laid out before you. "welp," you sigh, shaky hands coming up to grab your chopsticks. "here goes nothing."

you pick up the nearly-translucent sliver of fish, taking a deep breath before stuffing it in your mouth. you squeeze your eyes shut and chew cautiously, eyes opening slowly as you process the taste.

"oh...this is good! it tastes very refreshing." you exclaim, popping another piece into your mouth with a smile.

"and that's not even the best part." tengen chuckles, eating another piece. "it leaves your tongue and lips tingling, i wish i could experience it for the first time again." he says ever-so-casually.

"tingling?! is that the poison??!" you drop your chopsticks.

tengen laughs. "yeah, but only a small, non-fatal amount."

"HUH??! I THOUGHT YOU SAID THEY CLEANED IT OF ALL ITS TOXINS!!"

"well, uh, not those ones." he grins sheepishly as you pummel his arm.

"awww!! it's so cute!!" your eyes twinkle as gyoumei's large hands place the tiny kitten on your lap.

"what colour is it?" gyoumei questions.

your fingers massage behind the kitten's tiny ears. "it's a little black kitty, she's so adorable!" you bend forward, digging in your bag to pull out a can of canned tuna, opening it and holding it in front of the small cat.

"how adorable." gyoumei smiles, turning his head to the meows of another cat. "are you hungry too?" gyoumei asks it softly.

"i have a one more can in my bag if you need it." you say as you watch the kitten happily munch on the tuna.

gyoumei grabs another can and opens it, putting it down for the cat to eat as well, petting it's small gray head.

another meow rings out, and both you and gyoumei turn your heads to see several more cats heading towards you in several directions.

"oh no! i didn't bring enough tuna! gyoumei, we have to go, like now!!" you grab his hand and drag him away from the horde of incoming felines.

"but, the cats...namu amida butsu." silent tears start to roll down his cheeks as he is led away from the crowd of kitties.

smthabtgiyuu© 2024. all rights reserved. :)

[a-whispering-echo]

hello. below is me rambling about my new au - the ancient city one - and what i have down for it all right now. its just me rambling, and i tend to talk like im actually TELLING people about my ideas? like im sitting across from someone explaining it, and i try to imagine im speaking to someone who knows nothing about the sanses to try and like, GRIP the characters right, yknow? so yeah - lol

uh gore warning ig? its only descriptions for now, but i WILL be drawing them at some point!

oh yeah its bsp too lol

Story starts with Cross, who was disowned by his father after the death of his brother, which happened slightly after a very large argument between Cross and said brother. this is set in an old-ish setting. not quite modern day, not quite old timey. more fantasy set time - anyway yeah, Cross gets kicked out and shamed . oh hes human too here, you'll see later-

Cross is supposed to read as slightly unlikable, not fully, but with enough character flaws to balance out his good traits. Hes cold, very ambitious, but quite selfish too. he finds it hard to put himself in others shoes, and is focused, at first, in his own self interest. at the same time, he can be incredibly sweet, and self sacrificing when he wants to be. a hero truly. hes adaptable, and strong willed, even if he can sometimes break down in an anxious mess.

Cus Cross has been disowned, he decides to set out on his own path, alone, with not much on his other than his own survival skills - as all men from his town are trained for war and go through mandatory service, as he decides to treck and explore the world, figuring maybe, if he was luckily, he'd find a NEW home and family..

Eventually, one night, Cross is attacked by wolved while out setting up camp for the night. they destroy everything he'd worked for, and would him near fatally,

One of the wolves got a bit to his head, biting right into his right eye, leaving an awful bite mark over it that forces his eye shut forever. he isnt TECNICALLY blind, but he cant really open it without massive pain, ( it will eventually get infected and need to be removed. but thats WAYY in the future.)

Cross in his mad bid for safety, managed to scale a slight cliff edge, and find a very tight cave on a said cliff edge, managing to climb up over this ledge covered in lichen and algae, and sneaking into the gap that the wolves cannot reach. unfortunately, Cross wasnt expecting the drop.

When Cross wakes up, hes in what can only be described as the ruins of an old settlement, a… city? he thinks? the stone buildings are all destroyed, looking like a bomb has gone off through it, the stone in rubble, but miraculously, there are these glowing blue lanterns handing off posts that make up bridges connecting the little 'islands' of rubble to another in a pattern, those lanterns dim, but glowing faintly enough he can see his way… hes lying in a small pond, or a well or somthing, glowing blue algae covering the water, and HIM by extension, the water cold and soaking him to the bone.

What the hell happened here?

its as Cross is trying to right himself and fugure out where the HELL he is that he sees three figure in the distance...

They move, they walk, but theyre… theyre skeletons...

.... mostly. a couple of them look like they have a LITTLE flesh covering them, but its all mouldy and rotten. theres three of them, and all of them are dressed in dark robes, and covered in that ALGAE-lichen stuff, all that glowing cyan and black colour, spreading over their limbs like a plague. they seem all slightly confused on Cross entering their domain, the shortest one looks at his suspiciously under their cowl, and the tallest, with his awful head wound, pokes and prods at Cross and his broken body with fascination. the other one, with pitch black oozing eye sockets, seems FACINATED with him, excited even, theyre rubbing up against Cross like a cat and getting that black/cyan stuff all over him, Cross to scared and in pain to push it away from him

are they… inhabitants of the past settlement, maybe?

Turns out they can, mostly, speak english. they speak with an accent like no other, one Cross cant place, and use what Cross can only describe as odd and outdated words sometimes, but they seem to be able to understand him, at least. and they understand hes hurt, and needs help..

theyre kinda… well, theyre creepy as shit, no doubt bout it, but theyre not… TRYING to be? theyre curious and weird and a bit gross, but theyre almost CAT like? they purr, they nuzzle, they even fucking SNIFF him at first, and dunk his head under the water when they find his scent distressing. - thats Killer to note - they have fucking TAILS - he sees them when Goopy turns to chirp at his friends-

theyre in different states of decay… though the flesh they DO have is little, and covered by that lichen stuff holding it to their bones like stitches, theyre not ACTIVLY rotting anymore? nor do they really smell?

The smallest one seems to speak for them, not really out of any leadership, but because Goopy doesnt seem to really understand, and Head Wound seems to only make rumbling chirping noises - they ALL make those noises, but… Scarf seems to understand him best, even it they CLEARLY dont trust Cross…

they work for their Master, and lover, a Creature named Nightmare. a being made from that black/cyan stuff, and the one who destroyed this previous kingdom entirely, killing all residents

well all, bar three? are.. well, are they dead or..?

Killer mostly moves on all fours, close to the ground, almost like a spider. he CAN stand upright, but its painful for him, and hes quicker lower to the floor. Dust is the shortest and has these glowing red spots that act like pupils in his eyes, one of them corrupted by the cyan stuff. Horror has an actual EYEBALL still in his left socket - the side with the big wound - while the other is empty. Dust is the least 'decomposed' and still has slight bits of pale tinged-purple-blue skin held to his bones with the algae stuff, but he seems to try and hide it under his layers of clothes. both Killer and Horror have claws, while Dust has his filled down and softer, though still SHARP! Killer is much more intelligent than he appears.

all three of the skeletons used to be human! theyre of a different race to any Cross would know, and mostly lived in caves and hollowed out mountains - theyre usually small people - Horror being what the kingdom would call 'a giant', with a range of skin tones but most being a soft brown, and hair that stems from black to dark red and oranges - they mostly all have dark eyes better suited to dark environment, and good senses

Dust is the most 'intelligent' of the three, seemingly knowing an array of languages and seems to know how to heal. Killer has spikes and bone shards and teeth sticking from his clothes and has a dagger attached to his belt - maybe some kind of warrior? Horror carries a spear with him that he leans on as he walks. he seems to be able to walk fine without it, but uses it almost as a cane - maybe a pain condition over physically not being able to move? with the head wound.. well, does that even MATTER anymore?

Anyways, yeah, noot noot-

Nightmare used to be a spirit of protecting for the city, until a disagreement with his Other Half, quite literally, his twin brother Dream - two beings born of the same soul, which caused Nightmare to corrupt.

Nightmare doesnt show up until at LEAST halfway through the story!

this story will eventually conclude with Cross joining them, and them all falling in love, Cross getting the answers he wants about them, and getting his FAMILY that he desperately craves.

im still working on this obs, but im gonna be doing some drawings of them not lol - obviously theres gonna be a bit of a gore warning -

[weirdmageddon]

ive finaly managed to lay it out my major interests. i dont know what took me so long to be able to do that. i posted it to bluesky but i’ll do it here too. i need a new pinned post anyway.

22 neurodivergent ass autistic goth nerd and other-proclaimed “wizard”

things i’m interested in:

science: ALL natural science, esp. neuroscience, neuropsychology, psychology (the mind), biology, anatomy & physiology, ecosystems

other realms: philosophy, sociology, anthropology, human ethology, personality differences

natural noumena: patterns in nature, emergence, self-organization / spontaneous order, chaos theory and fractals

tropes / archetypes

analytical psychology / jungian analysis (not in association to jordan peterson, whom i think is a chode. this is significant to me, because i feel like i share the phenomenological reality with jung that formed the basis of his ideas. many of these forces i’ve noticed on my own, separate from him, before i knew him. so seeing his ideas i was like “oh he put it into words. glad to know someone else has a keen sense for these phenomena”)

socionics model A

other typological systems: enneagram, mbti (not 16personalities), etc. (quizzes are lazy minded, reading the theoretical foundations helps it feel much more significant)

eclectic alternative music subcultures + history: esp. 70s-80s, experimental, psychedelic rock, punk, new wave, post-punk, goth rock, industrial

the venture bros. (bonus points if you understand most of the references because this show is like my personal catnip)

jhonen vasquez: jthm, squee, i feel sick, invader zim (decade+ old fan)

david lynch: twin peaks, eraserhead, blue velvet, mulholland drive, etc

jon bois: pretty good, 17776/20020, chart party, team history documentaries, etc

blaseball

vinesauce

pokemon: in general, but esp. game mechanics

gravity falls (decade old fan)

homestuck (decade old fan)

mother series

star trek* (*slowly immersing myself)

lots of more stuff i probably missed

typology type profile: LII-Ne IN(T) INFJ 5w4 so/sp 514 |R|COAI

random things i want to say:

given enough time i think i could probably explain anything

i live in a very isolated pocket of my own taste in art/music where im not really aware of what everyone else is listening to because it just…doesnt really cross my mind ever? i found out brian eno said something similar, “If I tried to make a commercial album, it would be a complete flop. I have no idea what the world at large likes.” i told my friend the other day i feel like i understand my self through music and art, because of the accumulation of my taste i can actually experience my unconscious preference and know what i feel my own experiences reflected in

im best at self-reflection and observations of own my own mental processes

if i were forced to kin a homestuck character it would be aradia megido. we’re very close in spirit

i have similar mannerisms to dipper pines. first time i saw a cartoon character and felt represented

another brian eno quote i strongly relate to: “Sometimes you recognize that there is a category of human experience that has not been identified but everyone knows about it. That is when I find a term to describe it.”

[mooodyblue]

Can you write something about little reader? I just bought myself a new stuff animal and I bought it when I felt little but now that I'm big I'm trying to convince myself I didn't need it. I feel like elvis wouldn't let me convince myself of that

ty for the request! u enjoy that plushie !! u don't have to be little to enjoy plushies that's for sure ❤️

pairing: cg!elvis x gn!little!reader

wc: 841

➸ masterlist

it was one of those weeks where you just wanted to curl up in bed and hide away, hug a plushie and cry. you didn't want to call your boyfriend or anyone, just you and your fuzzy friends alone.

unfortunately, you couldn't do that. you knew it wouldn't be healthy to isolate yourself so you coped in a way you knew best—buying yourself a little something to cheer yourself up. you’d been feeling awfully small lately, but had been masking it quite well to so your big activities, although you did come home and occasionally slip a paci in your mouth to calm yourself down.

you were still feeling little when you walked into the store, putting on a brave face as you looked around to find something to treat yourself to. a snack? juice? maybe a coloring book or a toy.

but then you locked eyes with a large panda bear sitting lazily on the top shelf. your eyes widened, staring at it in awe. without a second thought—you picked it up, tossing it over your shoulder and hurled it to the cashier to buy it. you deserved it, you had a bad week so it's okay to splurge every once in awhile.

until a few hours later when you weren't feeling so little anymore. the guilt of spending money on something you clearly didn't need was eating you alive as it sat in your living room, taking up space.

you were with elvis, catching up on his tour antics as he had just returned from a week run. it was good to have his presence back in your life, it was much needed. but as he was talking, he couldn't help but lock eyes with the big panda bear behind you, chuckling softly. “now who's that guy?” he asked, pointing at it.

you turned around, blushing at the bear and shaking your head as you turned back to elvis. “ah…i-i kinda thought it when i was…you know.” you replied shyly, “i might take it back.”

“what?!” elvis gasped, “why in the world would you return it?”

you couldn't hide the look of guilt on your face, sighing. “i don't know, elvis…i just…i don't really need it, do i? i’ve got enough, you're always buying me plushies too—”

“baby, c'mon.” he stopped you from finishing your sentence. “tell me somethin’...” he sat up a bit, looking at you sternly. “did you feel happy when you bought him?”

“w-well…yes. i was excited to bring him home.” you nodded.

“how do you feel about him right now?”

the panda bear just sat on a lounge chair, the fuzzy animal just staring into space. you frowned looking at it, “guilty because it was a waste of money.”

elvis let out a hmph and shook his head, “what about when you're feelin’ tiny?”

your eyes lit up a bit, “i like looking at him. he’s fuzzy and i like that he's big. he's soft and i can rest my head on him when im watching cartoons or i can rest on him when i’m coloring….he's fun to hug.”

he grinned widely, “see, baby. it ain't no waste. it makes little you happy. anyway, plushies are for everyone, ain't that right?”

you scoffed. “elvis, you know that's not true.”

“baby, i slept with the same damn teddy bear my whole life. if i ain't huggin' you in bed, i sure as hell ain’t huggin' no pillow—stuffed animals are more fun to hug.” he laughed. “ya know how many people on this earth are probably grown and sleepin’ with a lil’ bear or-or stuffed elephant by their side? it ain't just you.”

he had a point. you had friends who slept with plushies too. there were collectible plushies too, what makes you having a random panda bear any different? it makes you happy, it made you happy when you bought it���what makes it any different now?

before you could open your mouth, elvis took the bear into his lap, hiding himself behind it as he moved it’s tiny arms. “please don't take me back!” he spoke in a deeper voice, voicing the panda. “it’ll break my big ol’ heart!”

you giggled softly, “elvis!”

“i ain't elvis!” he spoke, moving the arms, “you takin’ me back? huh? or are we gonna have a problem?”

the sight of elvis’s face peeking from behind the bear raising an eyebrow made you laugh even more, “okay! okay! i won't take you back. i don't wanna make you sad!”

elvis crept from behind the bear, “ya hear that! you get to stay!” he said excitedly, “now give 'im a big hug, baby. he deserves it.”

you hugged the plushie, bringing it to to your lap and keeping a tight hold to it.

“okay, that's enough. my turn.” elvis opened his arms, taking pride in convincing you to keep the bear.

you giggled and shook your head, gripping to the plushie tighter.

he gasped dramatically, putting his hand on his hips. now he was really regretting letting you keep that bear.

[blackdollette]

Heyy can you do some head cannons about any one of the characters (preferably Marcus or euronymous but it doesn’t rlly matter what ever you want😭) where the reader is pregnant? If you’re not comfortable with that it’s fine❤️ also I love all of your posts🙌🏼

thank you so much <3 and since these are hcs, ill do both :))

"to carry a child." | marcus & euronymous

fingertips. - lana del rey

female!reader x euronymous + marcus

contents: pregnant reader, mentions of sex

euronymous.

he'd wake up to the noise of your throwing up in the toilet rlly early in the morning

and this would happen for a few days, but he wouldn't think anything of it

until you walked into the bedroom crying one day, holding something in your hand

you handed him a pregnancy test and waited for his reaction

his eyes widened when it read positive

he'd always considered what would happen if he got a girl pregnant, and now it was happening

he would be a little freaked out at first

his lifestyle doesnt exactly support him creating a family of his own

but then he would look into your tear-filled eyes and feel his heart calm down a little

you'd tell him that you wanted to keep the child, and that flipped his entire world around

he wondered if he was even fit to be a father

but he'd be willing to try, just for you

throughout your entire pregnancy, he'd buy you everything you wanted and be extra loving toward you at all times

something tells me that he would want to take charge when it comes to naming the baby

he pretty much sets his entire life aside to make sure that you're alright

he couldn't bear to imagine anything happening to you or his child

he'd try to get as many customers in his shop as possible to earn enough money to support your new family

and when you finally had the child, he'd be all teary eyes in the hospital

the moment when he held his baby for the first time, he would feel real joy for the first time.

marcus.

you'd been living with him for a while after your "one night stand."

he liked having you around helping out with stuff

and he was planning on making things official with you very soon

getting pregnant with him would be a little more intentional though

he'd ask you before you had sex if you were ready, and would only continue after he got your approval

he'd buy you a few pregnancy tests the next morning

and surely enough, one week later it was confirmed that you were pregnant

he knew that you were the perfect girl to start a family with, so he was completely ready to commit to you for the rest of his life

however, he didn't realize at first that he'd have to change his lifestyle a little

he couldn't be out partying late at night anymore, or come home wasted like he usually did

he had to take care of you 24/7 to make sure that you were alright

it was a large sacrifice to make

but after he fully thought about how much he wanted to start a family, he was motivated to make that commitment

he'd buy a new house that was appropriate for a family setting

and you can be sure that he'd go wild when decorating the baby's room with toys, stickers on the walls, etc

when you went into labour, he was a worried and shaky mess

he couldnt eat, sleep or do anything else that required little to no effort

he just needed to know that you and his child were ok

when he laid his eyes on his child, he completely broke down

he held it tenderly in his arms as tears rolled down his cheeks

he'd take you home and put you to sleep

but he'd sit on the couch, holding his baby and picturing his new life with you and his child in it.

author's note: this was supposed to come out last week, but i just found it rotting in my drafts today :(( im so so sorry abt that, but lots of posts are coming out today :))

[saytrrose]

Someone reblogged your Kinger and Queenie comic and I saw your reblog on curious anons, so here I am.

Anyways, dunno if ya have done this before but ya got headcanons on Kinger's relationships with everyone on TADC?

Like, besties with someone in specific, we get along even if he doesn't know we get along, that kind of stuff.

Ooh!! I really love this question eee

Kinger Headcanons! With.. EVERYONE! (Im including the abstracted characters, they are so so silly in my brain rn and i have a strong perception of them)

—————

Queenie:

- Queenie and him started out with a mutual.. dislike? Dislike from Queenies side, and general uncomfort from Kingers side.

- From the start their relationship was more so small bickering, mutual pining even, They both possess a sarcastic side to them, (I personally believe before Kinger went crazy that he used to be rather analytical and in control, a lot smarter yk.)

- They both were constantly compared for their likeness, which of course gave them a sense of need to.. prove themselves better? To stand out? Saw eachother as an obstacle until FINALLY they tried actually having a conversation.

- Their relationship dynamic is very much golden retriever x black cat.

- Once they actually were in a relationship, Queenie definitely keeps her sassy personality but she’s very soft spoken around Kinger.

- Kinger also changes, they act more differently around eachother than anyone else. Their general idea of “we are different” changes to “we are the only ones that truly understand one another”

- Oh they bickered SO MUCH it’s so silly, Queenie loves to tease, seem like she has a large ego but in private around just him she’s very very vulnerable and relies on him for comfort. She doesn’t feel like she needs to act a specific way around him or ever get really defensive.

- Kingers personality doesn’t change as much as Queenies does around people, however he does lean into feeling more vulnerable around her as well. He tries to seem calm and mostly friendly, but in private with just her he feels like he can actually rant and get emotional.

—————

Wriggle:

- Kinger and Wriggle have a very funny dynamic, as Wriggle is Queenies “best friend is the whole wide world” (quoted by Wriggle, not Queenie)

-They often like to wriggle in between Kinger and Queenie, (hahaha look at me I’m so funny I love puns please don’t unfollow me) they are bit clingy towards Queenie which Kinger doesn’t particularly mind in the slightest.

- Putting Queenie aside, those two I’d say are good friends too. Wriggle loves to ramble on and on to Kinger about things they enjoy or made or did- the list is endless and it’s usually Kinger when it comes to this because atleast Kinger looks like he’s paying attention, whereas Queenie has that.. blank stare.. (autism, your honor)

- Think of Wriggle as a wingman also, They know Queenie well, and things she wouldn’t tell Kinger? Thats Wriggles job. For example, Queenie talks about how it’d be cute to receive flowers but doesn’t want to outright ask for them, Wriggle goes to Kinger and keeps jabbing him in the side with their tail until his attention is gained, and tells him “you know what you should do!!” you get what happens fr

- The wingman job was specifically asked of by Kinger, to which Wriggle, being the snooty little “hmmm idk if I like you enough” worm they are.. obviously decides not to share Queenies private words. (I’m still deciding if Kinger persuaded Wriggle into the idea that it’d make Queenie happier in the long run or if he just dropped to his knees like PLEASEPLEASEOLEAZEPLEASE-)

—————

Slinky:

- Slinky and Kinger have a good relationship, they aren’t really friends that hang out on their own time, but if they are ever in a group then they’d interact.

- Slinky loves to knit and crochet, and she made a task to knit everyone a tiny plush to have. She gave Kinger a tiny stag beetle plush, and he adores it so much, it’s right on his bed. ☠️ (perhaps I could make another post listing all the plushies Slinky made for everyone but idkkk only if it’s inquired about)

- They are the two shyest? Of the whole group, not inherently shy but the most quiet unless spoken to and definitely most anxiety filled. They have an unspoken code of certain looks they give eachother that they can instantly understand.

- In Kingers full honesty, if he was given the chance to choose a person to be in his team for an adventure and Queenie was taken, he’d choose Slinky. She’s just a very patient individual and he thinks he goes well with someone like that.

—————

Kaufmo:

- Their friendship is like trying to combine oil and water.. they don’t mix easily… They have respect for one another, an extent of it and Kinger probably has more than Kaufmo but they have very different conflicting personalities.

- Kaufmo is prickly and pessimistic most of the time, however I do want to think around Kinger he hold back a little. These two ended up being the last of the old cast, they’ve been through alot together…

- Kaufmo hates lovey dovey stuff, god forbid Kinger even rests a hand on Queenies side or something- he WILL point it out like a toddler grossed out by seeing their parents kiss.

- I think after Queenie abstracts it really changes. I want to assume that is when Kinger finally fully lost every marble he was hanging onto and Kaufmo.. well he realized how much he really missed those two together.

- Post Queenie, I think their relationship evolves from annoyance to much more understanding, not knowing eachother too personally as one would hope, given their circumstances but they would still go out of their way for a quick “are you okay?”

—————

Peepo:

- Peepo is a super sweet guy, and I’d say he was a good acquaintance of Kingers just for the fact there wasn’t too many guys and they were both very friendly.

- Peepo was the first to arrive of this old group, so he was much like in Kingers place with the current crew. However he’s not crazy because this is likely to beginning of when people started to get trapped in the game still, and not too much time had even passed. Aka, more people were entering than abstracting most definitely.

- Anyway, to touch up on the above one, because of this he has a sort of natural leadership over everyone, people seem to seek him out on information about the world just because he’s been there the longest. This includes Kinger! To Peepo, if he needed a right hand man he actually really relied on Kinger.

- There’s a small place by the digital lake that no one knows about except Peepo. When the sun starts to set he almost always likes to just.. go outside the tent and walk to it, and the only person he ended up showing was Kinger. It became sort of a spot for just them to talk, which is likely what made them closer. Kinger later would use this exact spot to ask Queenie out…Jumping to canon, the only person who knows of the spot now is Kinger, and he often goes there to seclude himself.

—————

Moppsy:

- Even though I put her here, I can’t really come up with anything! I use Moppsy as the first abstraction Kinger would witness, and likely didn’t really know her or have a relationship with her. Putting her here to include this though!

—————

Pomni:

- Woo!! Og cast now!! I think Pomni and Kinger will get along well given time. While Kinger is certainly.. eclectic in his personality at this point in his stay in the circus, I think Pomni would be comfortable talking to him about things more than Jax or Zooble, who knows! Just based on what I know from the pilot.

- Kinger used to invite anyone and everyone into the pillow forts he made, but once majority of the old cast abstracted I’d assume he stopped completely, instead using it as his own safe haven. However, Pomni is the first one that he very awkwardly asks if she would like to come inside, which leads to him feeling more inclined and comfortable to invite the others.

- Kinger notices and thinks Pomni is very different than the others, anyone he’s known so far infact and he probably outright tells her this because he lacks the ability to really filter his thoughts anymore. She doesn’t quite understand the nonsense he babbles out about it, but in the series if Pomni finds the exit or changes the circus for the better or WHATEVER goes on as she’s the protagonist, I’m just gonna say Kinger had a gut feeling from the start.

- Pomni seems to care the most when Kinger wants to show someone a bug, and that can be left up to the interpretation that the others just got tired of him doing it all the time and Pomnis not used to it yet, or she genuinely just tries to nod along and it makes him very happy to get a response.

—————

Ragatha:

- I think during the whole old cast abstracting and being replaced, if we look at the lineup of how everyone entered, I think Ragatha was the only one to actually know Queenie. Atleast see in person for a while, perhaps.

- I think those two would have gotten along SOOO well but!! This is about Kinger,, and I think Kinger and Ragatha also get along very well. She reminds him of Slinky…

- They both know they don’t talk or vent about their own problems at all, atleast anymore for Kinger. They are both bad at keeping it bottled up inside and while they both understand this about eachother, they don’t pry.

- If anything they have tea together often, and only they know alot about tea and really really enjoy it so it’s like their own bonding thing in a way.

- Ragatha came out to him first as a lesbian for some interesting strange reason, though if we follow my beloved trans Queenie hc I like to apply to things sometimes then she likely did it because she knows Kinger isn’t judgmental on lgbt topics.

—————

Zooble:

- I enjoy thinking of Zooble as an angsty teenage child compared to Kingers senile old dad energy

- I think in Kingers eyes they seem to get along a little bit but he’s just a tad intimidated. In Zoobles eyes they wouldn’t let anyone know how much they really like Kinger, afterall he’s nothing but sweet when being spoken with. It’s a nice break from.. Jax or Caine, even the others who are very emotional. Yes they can be kind too, but it’s like you don’t have to try with Kinger because he’s so finicky that he doesn’t remember every detail of your interaction to judge you on it anymore.

- I like to think whenever Kinger needs help with something Zooble lets out a dramatic sigh and goes to help him (no one asked them to and anyone else could’ve volunteered but okay Zoob we know you just genuinely like his company)

- Zooble gave him a weighted blanket as a gift to include in his pillow forts once and he had a panic attack while under it once because he couldn’t move (he loves it so so much I promise)

- Again hhh Dad Daughter vibe I really enjoy it I think Queenie would’ve adored Zooble like a mother too plsplsplsolsolsols

—————

Jax:

- Jax would call Kinger a boomer a lot and it stresses Kinger out so much because he doesn’t know what it means and when he asked Zooble to explain it to him they convinced him it was slur and so Kinger got Caine to censor the word boomer

- Kinger is like genuinely terrified of Jax and how much of a menace he is, he’s never known anyone that acts like this mf its insane

- Kinger does infact has some pet bugs in a large terrarium in his room and because Jax has keys to everyone’s rooms he with steal Kingers bugs (an example, the centipede he put in Ragathas room? Probably Kingers..)

- Kinger honestly tries his best to avoid Jax hhshs

—————

Gangle:

- Kinger is probably the closest to Gangle of everyone in the current cast.

- Gangle likes to draw and write and ramble and everything to Kinger, even when she has her tragedy mask on, he seems to cheer her up a little just by hanging out near her. Kinger really enjoys it.

- When Gangle does have her happy mask on, it irks something inside Kinger. She really reminds him of Wriggle. And he was much closer to Wriggle than Slinky so.. it bothers him a bit unlike Ragatha being similar to Slinky in few ways.

- She introduced him to anime and while she has a giant ass list of ones she enjoys he’s.. just quite fixated on ghibli movies… he finds them neat.

- They are.. autism buddies.. More so it’s well aware with everyone that Kinger is diagnosed with Autism but Gangle isn’t diagnosed, and Kinger is the only one staring HARD like “hhh ik what you are” fr fr anyway because I hc them both as autistic that’s another reason they tend to group together and get along more.

[sparklingpax]

HEADMASTER JUNIORS IN THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY MUSIC VIDEO

!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOWWWW I SAW FIRST THING WAKING UP TODAY I LITERALLY FLIPPED TF OUTTT 😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️ LIKE NOT ONE BUT MULTIPLE MASTERFORCE REFERENCES IN 2024.....WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE FR 😭💗💗💞❤️✨‼️🔥🫶✨

wait I'm gonna take fhis opportunity to gush about the video its 1 am im only half awake there will probably be typos sorrY

..

Genuinely would have been ecstatic with just a god ginrai in the bg and I honestly didn't even expect as much but man oh MAN did they give us so much more than that 🥳🥳

oh but lemme say ginrai SLAYEDDD HE LOOKED SO AMAZING AND COOL I was literally squealing "YES GO MY SILLY GOOOO" like the Dork that I am when he was out there doin the exkaiser sword pose w the others 🫶🫶🫶🫶 EEEEEE

and also!!! Let us NOT forget ofc all the other TF series and leaders and characters and such getting their time in the spotlight and the MANY little references to all kinds of stuff everywhere and.....!!!!!! Like I have so much respect for that video 🥹 it's such a detailed, wonderful tribute to everything transformers has been, is, and continues to be. Themes of connections literal and metaphorical and the power and beautythat comes from it. UFFF and Everything was so pretty and wonderful to look at and (⁠ﾉ⁠≧⁠∇⁠≦⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠ ⁠ﾐ⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very happy with it <3333

and also Yes I did have the thought It would have been cool to see the Pretenders (😭) but I also understand its probably hard enough to tastefully fit in all thr characters they did (and plus! Masterforce Mentioned At All is such a huge W youre not hearing Complaints from me 🫡) and also y'know what. maybe. maybe that was for the best because I might have simply combusted into fucking flames if they did that. Like you all think I'm annoying about those guys NOW but if I saw them animated all pretty and shape andshiny and sharp like that.........or.GOD if they had put their human forms in there...........I would need to be restrained is all I'll say

AND y'know what too it actually also fuels me with even MORE willpower than I already have to work for and eventually finish this illustration degree, somehow hopefully make it to a position where I too can make masterforce references in 4k except OFFICIAL and also have the opportunity to be insufferable about my blorbo of all time and space <333333 stupid silly ass dream of mine that may never happen but mark my WORDS if I get even the slightest opportunity y'all.....I want to do a masterforce centric project someday. Like a real one. Something for the world to see at large. I want to do something with it I really really feel like I could......,! I would achieve one of my few life goals/dreams fr......

GOSH ok anyway sorry I went on for quite a while there and then started derailing the topic at hand SORRYY 😭😭😭 but yea man I love transformers I love being a fan of this franchise I love how many thousands of characters and all the stories and universes and stuff there is and how crazy and cool it all is and that it's been a part of my life for most of my life and it's the reason I'm an artist and god that video will have me emotional for a long ass time *wails* good NIGHT 😭🫶❤️❤️🫶💖✨‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

(-kuni 🫣)

[identityarchitect]

because im a nosy bitch who has distaste for current plural culture I'd love to hear your thoughts on current plural culture

(for me. the amount of information thats acceptable and expected to be shared will be the DEATH of my sanity)

Oh, jesus, where do I even begin. This got unexpectedly long so I'm going to put it under a cut.

Like you said, the amount of information shared is scary. Both because there are like 13yo recently discovered plurals who get this idea that it's a good or necessary thing to share as much information as possible about ones system, and nobody ever uses the privacy features on PK. It's one thing to keep track of info about headmates and another thing entirely to be posting a whole list of front triggers in a headmate-intros discord channel.

Speaking of headmate intros, I kind of have a love/hate relationship with the complicated description templates. On the one hand, I do like it when stuff is pretty. But on the other hand, there's a lot of kind of casual ableism/sanism in the plural community, as much as we'd want to pride ourselves on being relatively free of it. Fancy description templates, typing quirks, special characters in headmate displaynames, are all inaccessible to people using screenreaders or anyone with issues reading. And I try to be understanding to people with typing quirks because we have a few headmates with interesting ways of communicating and I get it, but like, you've really gotta provide a translation.

There's also just the way people interact with each other? Consistently using tons of tone tags, not asking about you& preferences (which tbf, in an ideal world preferences on you& are part of a generic introduction like preferences on headmates/alters/sysmates/parts and system/plural/etc). Trying to tag for every single possible trigger.

A lot of very large plural spaces (and frankly any large space that tries to account for triggers) end up with this issue where at some point, the trigger list is just too long. People aren't going to remember it, so anyone who is anxious about censoring correctly (which is everyone, because current plural culture has this way of making anxiety significantly worse) is going to be double-checking the list every five seconds, or just decide participating in conversation outside of more lax areas, like tw- channels, isn't worth it.

So they have to make a choice between cutting down the existing list, examining things and deciding if they're a common enough trigger (or bad enough, or if the user is in the server enough, or whatever the metric is) to remain on the list: or, they simply continue expanding the list and try to make it easier for people to censor or reference the list. But if they cut down on the list you inevitably have people who are like "wait, why is fires on there but not birthday parties? there's only one person in the server who's triggered by fires but five who are triggered by birthday parties", or "why did [obscure, situation-specific trigger] get removed? isn't it just as serious?" and etc.

And then there's moderation teams, which are... ok, let me make a venn diagram.

(No shade to teenagers. There are probably good teenage mods out there. I just haven't met them.)

Speaking from personal experience here, a lot of plural discord moderation relies on the current plural culture, which skews itself towards being extremely polite and nice and understanding so as to avoid unintentionally upsetting other people. (This is another one of the ways in which plural culture can and often does end up exacerbating anxiety & anxiety-adjacent behaviours/disorders like OCD.) So you have this discord server that doesn't really need moderation aside from admin stuff like adding channels or bots and pinning messages that regular users don't have the permissions to do. Then some person comes in and they're regularly talking about triggers out of the blue, acting aggressive towards other users, and because everyone wants to be polite and accepting, this user doesn't get dealt with for a very long time, especially because the mods just have no idea how to actually moderate. They don't have the confidence to make verdicts and use the power they have, and kick/ban users when necessary.

In essence, current plural culture wants to treat and trust every stranger like a close friend. You can run a discord server with little to no rules and give everyone admin permissions and whatever the hell: it's just got to be a closed friend discord server full of people that you know well enough to trust. And not only does this make plural spaces vulnerable to bad actors, it also makes them very uncomfortable to be in, as an aplatonic person who really doesn't want randos on the internet acting like we're childhood besties.

In that same vein, is it just me or does everyone and their mother seem to want a partner system? It's been actual years atp since I've been in a plural server that's actually active but there's this weird romantic overtone where any other system could be a potential partner system if you become emotionally close enough to them. Then if you're aro, or romance repulsed, or just not looking to date, or in a relationship already and not poly (which also, I get that dating as a system is a vastly different experience from dating as a singlet, but not everyone is poly), it feels like they just switch to a QPR instead of a romantic relationship? IDK, maybe that's me projecting since I'm QPR-repulsed. But it feels like the primary assumption for 'emotionally close' is 'romance or QPR' in plural spaces, in a way that feels different from regular amatonormativity. IDK it probably is just regular amatonormativity. But you'd think plurals would have deconstructed it even a little bit, right, since dating as a plural is such a vastly different experience. Whatever.

And canonmates. God. Ugh. Ughghhghj,. Look I get the inherent loneliness that comes with being an introject that has strong exomemories, but the resolution to this is not "try and start a relationship with a stranger who you only share one quality with (i.e remembering the same things from source)". Dear god. I have a not very good relationship with canonmates, since an ex of ours would in essence use them against us, but like. Augh.

And spiritual systems. The other day I saw a post on the plural subreddit that was like "Does anyone else live a double life?" and it was this introject describing the disparity between their IRL life and their in-headspace life. But they didn't clarify that it was in headspace and not like, an alternate world or something, so there was a comment being like "Uh, this is a dangerous lack of source separation." FUCKING source separation. I always get so mad at source separation.

I hate to label ourselves but our experiences most closely align with the general idea behind spiritual systems (this is as close as we will get to a concrete label). And it really seems to me that people will bring up spiritual systems as a gotcha against sysmeds and anti-endos, since the DSM technically validates spiritual systems by explicitly excluding them from the diagnostic criteria, and then turn around and act like spiritual systems either don't exist, or are delusional. (This is what I was thinking about earlier when I said the plural community has something of a sanism problem.)

Everyone assumes that in order for an introject to be healthy, they must have a degree of source separation, must be able to go "Yes, I know I am not my source, I recognise I will never be my source, etc". And if an introject can't, it's inherently dangerous and bad for them and the system must (even potentially against the introjects' will) make efforts to separate them from their source.

But even aside from all the sanist implications there, this completely falls apart when you think about spiritual systems. What about gateway systems, who do have headmates come from outside of the body? What about soulbonds, who are that character in their own universe? What about systems who don't want to prove that they're spiritual enough to be exempt from this 'if you think of yourself as your source in any way you are delusional and must be treated' BS?

Our V1 is literally V1 the robot from Ultrakill. This has never caused issues for it, or for us. I don't predict that it's going to.

Like, wasn't the general narrative around introjects "they have differing amounts of separation, differing opinions, and differing connections to their source. above all else, you should treat introjects like people, and ask them if you have questions about how they want to be treated!"? For ages it feels like that was the narrative, and now it's "introjects should be separated from their source, although they're allowed to have whatever opinion on it. in order to treat an introject like a person, you must acknowledge they're not literally a fictional character every fucking pictosecond".

There is definitely a lot more that I probably have to say on the topic but that's all I can think of right now.

Oh wait ok hold on I'm back because I remembered roles and origins and got mad again. Origins my most beloathed.

I could talk about the traumagenic/endogenic binary and how it's complete BS and even when we could be considered traumagenic we still had headmates that weren't traumagenic in origin, and how endogenic systems of all kinds can and often do have trauma that does and doesn't impact their system functioning, and trauma impacts systems in so many more ways than just if Sonic the Hedgehog showed up because you were being abused or just for the sake of being there, and 90% of the apparently well-meaning endo-ok sysmeds that talk about the necessecity of separate traumagenic and endogenic spaces are actually talking about disordered and nondisordered systems and EVEN THEN it's STILL a fake binary, but people more eloquent than me have probably gone over that.

I hate the assumption that every system has origins. We don't, and we're never going to. Even with the general idea being "nobody needs to tell you their origins and if you pressure them you're a dick" there's this expectation of knowing or labelling your origins. If you know your origins, you should be able to label them. If you don't know your origins, there are labels for that. What if someone doesn't give a shit? And again, what about spiritual systems, who don't have origins for other reasons?

Ok, I also just went and found some DMs with a friend so here's me quoting myself:

"it feels to us like the plural community doesnt strictly expect or want noncomplex plurality or a noncomplex relationship to ones plurality, but that these are sort of entry requirements to plural discord servers and other similar spaces"

"it feels like theres a collection of behaviours that you havr to perform like being in plural discord servers has always felt close to masking for us"

AGH AND PROBLEMATIC INTROJECTS. FUCK I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.

Roles are kind of similar to origins, imo, where it's this very simplistic and false structure and there's a pressure to box oneself and ones headmates into it. Like even when people acknowledge roleless systems, it feels like that's all they acknowledge, y'know? Like in their head there's systems where every headmate has a specific purpose and performs it to a T, and there's systems where this isn't the case. When it's so much more complex than that. For example: us! We're primarily roleless, and the things each headmate does is more like a volunteer job than a role, y'know. Except for this one headmate who found a role on Pluralpedia and went "that's me" and now it has a role.

It also feels like there's a specific set of roles each system should have, right? Like there's this idea that even if a system doesn't label or have roles, they still have the protective headmate who gets righteously angry on others' behalf, and the stressed and overworked caretaker, and the littles who use uwu-speak, and the serious and scary gatekeeper, and it's the nuclear family isn't it. They've recreated the nuclear family. One father and one mother and two and a half kids and the 'friendly' neighbourhood cop. Jesus. (The host can be the grandparents.)

And more than that there's... okay, right, how do I word this one.

Let's think about layers. Layers are distinct areas in headspace where different groups of headmates tend to reside. Beyond the base assumption that everyone has a consistent, laid-out, easily accessible headspace, there's this weird overtone that a system without layers is like, a system without layers yet, right? Like the two types of system are "systems that have layers" and "systems that don't have layers, but could" and there's no space for "systems that can't have layers". I think that's kind of what I'm getting at with the origins and roles bit, right? People nominally accept systems that don't have origins or roles, but there's this sense that what they're actually accepting is "systems that have origins" and "systems that have origins, just not public ones" or "systems that have roles" and "systems that have roles, and just don't label them".

This ties into the spiritual system bit, I think. It's not "psychological systems" and "spiritual systems" (which is still a false binary), it's "psychological systems" and "systems that believe they're spiritual systems" or "psychological systems whose spiritual beliefs impact their systemhood". Even when mentioning and talking about gateway systems and soulbonders people don't seem to be able to take those people at face value, regardless of their own personal beliefs on the matter. Maybe we're just hanging out in the wrong places.

The true originless roleless headspaceless spiritual system (i.e, US AGAIN) is a nonentity. There is no space for us to exist in the plural community because the predominant plural culture simply cannot comprehend that we exist.

Problematic introjects ... Like, how can you insist introjects must be treated like people, and must feel and consider themselves to be a distinct, separate entity from their source, and then also call them problematic? I hate the word problematic anyway but even moreso when the label is applied to every introject of whichever fucking minecraft youtuber turned out to be an abuser this time. Can't we just leave introjects alone? Fucking hell.

Anyway yeah. It sucks here.

[olderthannetfic]

Re: Hypertagging characters/ships for triggers, yeah as someone whos insane ass has a very serious trigger for a specific fictional character -particularly if they are portrayed in a positive light- I just Do Not Read Fic in that fandom by and large and blacklist it pretty hard.

It sucks I had to divorce myself from the fandom because I LIKED the earlier seasons and sometimes the fic was cute and good, but I simply cannot reasonably ask anyone to tag every mention of that character so I blacklist it all.

Its a me issue, NOT a them issue, so its my job to manage it and actually put effort into that.

That means blacklisting the show on every platform that is possible that I use, not following people who are likely to post that character, not consuming the new canon content of the show in case I get jumpscared with the character, and only ever intentionally looking for content if im in the right frame of mind to be able to stand simply seeing the name somewhere while I control+f a fic to see if they show up. I even sometimes ask friends to prescreen fics sometimes if I REALLY want to read something.

I make my own content if I want to engage with that media and I avoid the fandom. Its... I wont say its easy because it really sucks actually, but the world cannot and should not cater to me in that way. Its a competing access need and unreasonable to ask.

Its reasonable to ask a friend to warn/not deliberately show me that character- not NOT reasonable to ask a rando to do that.

Id even try to desensitize the trigger if I was in a good place for doing it but I am the wrong kind of insane to be doing that any time soon lol. Trauma work lays you right out.

To people wondering how anyone could be so fragile as to need something like that tagged; PTSD and other mental illnesses that cause serious triggers often latch onto innocuous things. Do you think I want to have such a 'cringe' trigger that causes me to [redacted] at best and have a dissociative panic attack-flashback combo AND [redacted] at worse? No its dumb as hell and I hate that there is very little to do to suppress it. Does that make the trigger go away? Also no. Its not like this is just me not liking or being uncomfortable with the character, this is an involuntary serious-hazard-to-health negative reaction I shant detail that sucks ass.

Yes us crazies do deserve to participate in fandom spaces too, we arent too broken to be barred from playing with everyone else- we just have to understand where the reasonable line is on accommodations for tagging, understand that competing access needs are a thing, and do the rest of the work ourselves.

Its not perfect but its the most good for the most people.

Id invite anyone who has a character/ship/etc trigger to seriously just blacklist the media and do what I do or even be more strict about it. You will feel so much better and more stable im not kidding. It sucks to lose a beloved fandom but you will feel so much better.

For everyone else- dont feel you need to tag every last mention on something. If you really want to be trigger friendly for some reason, you can put in the chapter notes all the minor mentions of stuff or w/e. Please Do Not put it in the proper tags.

--

Sadly, "dumb as hell" is a pretty default setting for triggers. If only brains were logical and behaved themselves! But one has to work with what one's got.

[aropride]

long vent post abt covid + my sister

i genuinely dont know when the last time my little sister wasnt sick for more than two weeks was. im trying to remember but i cant . its been almost constant since she got covid in dec2021. and she has all these new allergies and symptoms and stuff she had as a baby came back after. and my parents are like antivax antimask "its just a cold" conspiracy theorists and they arent going to protect her they only got her her mandatory vaccines bc our doctor finally made them and theyre convinced shes always sick bc of the vaccines and not bc of covid. and i know theres nothing i can say or do that will get through to them. and i know my sister doesnt understand Why shes sick all the time so of course shes going to believe our parents because shes a kid why wouldnt she believe them. and i know eventually she'll figure out why shes so sick. when long covid gets talked about more when i figure out how to explain it to her etc eventually she'll find out and it's going to like. ruin her view of our parents and the world at large

and i spent my whole childhood since the day she was born making it like my lifes mission to keep her safe but i had no hope of protecting her against this there was no way i could have done much but my parents could have and should have and now they blame it all on the vaccines its because the doctor gave her vaccines no it isnt!!! no it is not!!! and every time i see her or facetime her or she sends me an audio message i hear the crackle in her throat and i dont know if it will ever go away

and if youre not looking for it youll miss it but if you go in public and sit and listen .youll hear the coughing and sniffling and the crackle in people's throats. i keep my windows open bc my dorm gets too hot and all day i hear people walking by and coughing. my only other covid cautious friend has noticed it. none of my non cc friends have. but i swear to god it's there sit in a library for a few hours and listen it's there it gets worse every year. and nobody even notices and people look at you weird when you mention that everyone's been getting sicker recently

but they are they fucking are ive read the studies ive looked at the data. everyone's sick all the time and they dont even notice it they go "it's the freshman flu" "it's allergies" you arent even a freshman you dont even have allergies. "man ive just been so short of breath recently" then i'm the crazy one if i say the obvious reason for that. i feel fucking crazy i know im not im looking at the studies im looking at the data im learning the science but nobody will listen

i share covid data and protection and everything on instagram all the time im always talking about it because im always thinking about it because i hear it everywhere and nobody listens nobody is masking and i dont understand why i dont understand how - i heard someone cough out my window just now - i don't understand how social pressure can win over the objective truth when the objective truth is killing and disabling people. how do people not care??? i need people to care one-way masking is better than nothing but so much could have been prevented if people would just put on the fucking mask

what am i even supposed to do when everyone's just accepted being sick forever when people dont 'even notice how fucked up their bodies are becoming when people seem to think it could never happen to them and they don't seem to care that they can and will pass it to other people even if they never are symptomatic . how are we supposed to live like this??? are we going to reach a breaking point or are people just going to fucking die forever??? what will it take for people to start masking again??? to start caring???

i dont know what infection number my sister is on. three that i know of for sure but i'd be shocked if she hadn't had it at least five times. shes thirteen . i dont know what to do