#like if i dont say something now people will be more comfortable misgendering me

[thedisablednaturalist]

literally no one has used my listed pronouns (literally next to my name on teams). So much for pride month :/

[listenheresweaty]

Reminder that Stirringjuice/Ven themself has said that TMC is not fetish content. Kister’s works are NOT an extension of what was described in the allegations document. If you don’t want to consume TMC content anymore, fine (best you don’t— not in a way that gives Kister money anyway), but don’t spread misinformation.

EDIT: after rereading Ven’s callout document and finally being able to access ALL the screenshots he attached, I have decided that I will no longer support him. I will not go back to supporting Alex Kister yet, but I cannot support a blatant ableist transphobe either. link to annotation doc: (not mine) https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vReErDatnpQ_h3W-WlqrmzmPN26-UyDwLVwBKmHV09WhVZtdZQM44HRxvoV0ZTz8Ho-NaBVKYxjNuha/pub

Things I will be addressing:

Why I do not support Ven (separate from other victims)

Stuff that Alex Kister DID do wrong, even if the allegations were exaggerated/faked/done out of malice

The allegations and victims themselves.

WHY I DONT SUPPORT VEN

First of all, this ⬇️ (scroll down its below the blue highlighted ss. Formatting issues sorry.). This is a ss of Ven’s (now deleted, now archived post) response to how many people are calling him transphobic for his transmisogynistic comments in his document, and how he had basically outed Alex. Instead of saying something like “it wasn’t transphobic — I had to out Alex— it was necessary for the victims/proof/whatever”, Ven just says that if Alex didn’t want to be outed or subjected to transphobia, he shouldn’t have been a “groomer” (Ven later says that he had misused the word “groomer”. Everyone that Alex had interacted with in a sexual or romantic manner had been an adult, and had fully explicitly VERBALLY consented.)

However. Even if your opponent is a bad person, you do NOT have the right to be transphobic. EVER. criticize them on whatever they’ve done wrong, hold them accountable in a balanced and civilized manner— etc. Being protected from bigotry/ not getting misgendered, privacy, legal counsel— these are all examples of RIGHTS.

When you start denying something based on whether someone deserves it or not, that “something” has become a privilege. By stating that his transphobia was excused because Alex is a supposedly bad person, Ven has stated that not being subjected to transphobia is a privilege. here’s the link: (takes forever to load the keep reading portion but it works for me) https://web.archive.org/web/20240317125855/https://www.tumblr.com/stirringjuicee/745117180204548096/alex-kister-and-actively-using-being-trans-to-lure

Screenshot of the post below, along with something from the callout doc (annotated by a tumblr user. The non-highlighted color text is the annotated bit.

—— ss from ven response (click. It IS An image it just looks like text)

—- now onto some more details.

Ven, or StirringJuice, made the first allegations document against Alex Kister. He had stated himself that he does not consider himself a victim, just a friend of the victims who wanted to spread the word. Ven starts the document off by describing his past relationship with Alex Kister. He also includes screenshots of text messages from Alex— which often contradict or have no relation with what he’s saying. This is why it’s important to look at the screenshots, guys! Most of the toxicity in Ven’s relationship with Alex stemmed from Ven’s refusal to honestly his boundaries or feelings. He told Alex that he was comfortable with the sexual comments, he told Alex that he was comfortable being just Friends with Benefits, and he told Alex that they were welcome to vent to him any time <- all of this is corroborated by the text screenshots that Ven himself posted.

In Ven’s text messages, we can see him suggesting that Alex gets a therapist. Great! Nothing wrong there. And then you actually look at the ss:

(Ven is the blue. These ss are linked in the callout document.)

First of all. You cannot force ANYONE to get mental help, regardless of whether you think it’s for their own well-being. If their behavior is harming you, leave. But even the worst people on earth deserve autonomy for these kinds of things. Ven literally states that he had FORCED Alex to get a therapist, and you can see him admit it in the messages above as well.

after these ss links (labeled part 9 in the doc), Ven hits us with this absolute banger:

“[Alex] then decided to go off his meds.”

Someone had already said this, but: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT TO OR ABOUT A MENTALLY ILL PERSON. EVER. REGARDLESS OF WHO YOU ARE, OR WHO THEY ARE. it’s an insult to every mental health community.

^ also, Alex gives a pretty good reason for going off his medication. Not that they needed to.

^highlighted text is Ven’s callout post. Purple text is a fellow tumblr user’s annotations. They have a whole post with these annotations. I’ll credit them when I’m done writing out my post. [clarification: the annotator uses “she/her” pronouns for Alex, Ven uses he/him. I use they/them because Alex was never publicly OUT as she/her before they were outed, so I’m not sure what to do]

Also: please go on the callout doc and see the “pt. 11” screenshots yourself. There’s a lot of them and I don’t want to add them here, but please go see them.

^Ven hears that Alex wants to start a new chapter with them (yknow, like redeem the toxic relationship they’ve had) and immediately assumes it’s in the romantic sense.

^Alex admits that they are not ready for a committed relationship, a good first step for smoothing over any toxicity.

^nothing else to add. Annotator did great.

^ text ss as listed under the “pt. 14” link

These are 3 out of 10 ss under the Pt. 15 link. Look at the text indicated to with the red arrow (drawn by me). Ven literally tells Alex that they “don’t understand anything ever.” They also tell Alex in a later ss (plz find it yourselves because I’m not posting all 10 photos) that they “don’t understand [their] own emotions.”

Maybe Alex was making an unhealthy decision by continuing to reach out to someone they clearly had an unhealthy relationship with. But these responses are borderline abusive, especially when aimed at someone who suffers from paranoia.

A huge chunk of the entire callout doc is Ven venting about his relationship with Alex. This relationship is not abusive, it is toxic on both sides. The fact that Ven put this much focus on these barely relevant details— even when the topic was the victims, not Ven himself— suggests that he did this out of petty vindictiveness. If the allegations are true, the victims deserved a BETTER PERSON and a BETTER FRIEND to share their story. Not someone who did it purely because it was en excuse to get revenge. If it wasn’t revenge, why add all these details?? (funny thing— the whole doc. Would be more believable if Ven hadn’t added all this stuff. He destroyed his credibility before even getting to the allegations).

the one below has more transphobia and general assholery than ableism.

^apparently once you are out of the closet, you are not allowed to go back or feel ashamed. Else you are lying and manipulative. Thanks, Ven.

I am done posting screenshots from the annotation document. Please, PLEASE read it in full. I will tag it in the comments. There are so so so many good points.

STUFF THAT ALEX HAS DEFINITELY DONE WRONG, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THE ALLEGATIONS ARE TRUE OR FALSE:

(Orange text is annotator, black is original doc).

Venting to/ Relying on a minor fan for mental health support (I think it was Mitchie). That’s not good.

making allusions to suicide during their relationship with Ven. Joke or not, that’s unhealthy.

ALLEGATIONS/VICTIMS:

wont say much here because I’m getting tired. some people on Reddit have been pointing out that some discord ss (not the ones I’ve shown you, those were imessage ss) look faked because there is use of military time, which is not an option on discord apparently. Other screenshots seem to use different fonts as well, further indicating forged evidence. I have fact-checked none of this and can’t verify it (not that you should be relying on my word alone, anyway).

I do not support Mitchie, since they’ve been telling people to self-harm and/or commit suicide when they point out flaws in the callout doc. I don’t care what you’ve been through. There is no excuse for that.

As for the other victims.. I find their statements fishy. However, I will not disbelieve them until more has been cleared up.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hii Cas,

I am in need of some advise. I am 13 years old and have questioned my sexuality for a long time, and am finally able to make peace with myself and accept that I am bisexual.

I am out to all my friends, my cousin, some other people, it really isnt a secret anymore. But i have not explicitly told my parents and I am now questioning if I will.

My parents have always been very supportive of the lgbtqia+ community until lately, they have been saying things that make me rather uncomfortable, like;

' to much people are bisexual, most of them must do it for attention and Arent really bisexual'

' you cant really be genderfluid, its just making yourself special'

' If someone would be non-binary, I would not learn his or hers pronounce'

' in the end all that matters is what is in your pants, ofcourse you are allowed to be trans but that doesnt mean you Arent the gender you were assigned at birth'

And many more mean comments about being gender fluid and non binary.

I think my parents know that im bi, but I really dont feel comfortable being a part of the lgbtqia+ community in my own home, because of their perspective.

Do you have any argument or something, because of I try to change their mind they always say something mean, and I really hate it.

Sorry for the rant, and btw, i realllyyyy love clandestine, it is my fav ficc❤️

Hey hon!

I'm so glad you're able to be out to so many people and have an accepting support system outside of your home. It sucks that your parents aren't supportive, but I'm happy you at least have that.

I do want to make sure it's SAFE to come out to your parents. As long as you feel like they won't react in a way that puts you in danger, then I'm totally down to help!

For their questions/comments, it might be good to ask them some questions back! Get them thinking. Here are some examples.

' to much people are bisexual, most of them must do it for attention and Arent really bisexual'

"What kind of attention are they getting? Why does that matter? Does supporting their identity hurt you in any way?"

' you cant really be genderfluid, its just making yourself special'

"Why does being genderfluid make you special? Does it bother you that people are genderfluid? Does supporting genderfluid people hurt you in any way?"

' If someone would be non-binary, I would not learn his or hers pronounce'

"Would it bother you if I used the wrong pronouns for you? Is it difficult to learn new words? Did you know that people who are routinely misgendered are more likely to develop mental health issues? Does supporting nonbinary people hurt you in any way?"

' in the end all that matters is what is in your pants, ofcourse you are allowed to be trans but that doesnt mean you Arent the gender you were assigned at birth'

"Why do you care what people have in their pants? Can you always tell what someone has in their pants? Does supporting trans people hurt you in any way?"

I think sometimes asking these questions helps people think about their bigoted views. Their responses will also give you an idea on if they're just ignorant or truly unsafe, you know?

Keep me updated! Naming you glasses anon!

[nerves-nebula]

Hey there! Sorry to bother you but I remember you specifically talking about it/its pronouns and how actually theyre not dehumanizing at all (saw lots of people with this belief and many medias that portray it as such) but sadly my dash refreshed and I havent been hable to find your posts about it.

You kind of opened a third eye for me? And I wanted to know more if you feel like explaining it again or link some of your posts

(Im sorry if this sounds rude im genuinely interested, im autistic and just writing this was pretty hard. Im gonna thank you in advance if you ll take the time to answer this, but ill understand if you dont feel like /gen)

not rude! unfortunately posts about pronouns arent one of the things i strictly catalog, so you could try looking through my #pronouns tag but there isn't much there, so there's no guarantee you'll find the specific post you're looking for.

i did likely tag a post like that with something like #queer or #trans but i have so many posts and reblogs tagged those things- I'm not sure it'd be worth your time to comb through them. I also wasnt aware any post I'd made about pronouns had been reblogged so idk if i could find whichever one might've been reblogged recently.

uuuuuhh for a quick rundown of my thoughts i guess I'd say:

using it/its pronouns is GENERALLY dehumanizing to most people because it's a way to show people that you think very little of them, that you're comparing them to something *less than human*

Of course this functions within the idea that "human" is inherently better or higher in the hierarchy than "animal" or "plant" which isn't inherently true- but that's its own post.

so you're being misgendered or de-gendered as a show of disrespect/contempt.

HOWEVER. if someone WANTS to use it/its then all of that kind of flies out the window. how is that disrespectful, it's just your actual pronouns. it can't be dehumanizing if the person in question doesn't consider it dehumanizing, or doesn't consider being non-human less dignifying, or a dozen other potential reasons that person feels comfortable with it/its.

like some of us know that our overlapping identities make us less than human to a lot of people already, so why bother trying to insist you're included in a version of humanity that CLEARLY wasn't made to fit you (we talked about this a lot in my black readings class last year, about how, like, a lot of modern concepts of what it meant to be a human were created to kind of intentionally strip black people of the "human"/"person" status.)

so like if I'm already a monster and a freak and inhuman why does it matter if I use human pronouns or not.

and there's prolly more i could say but I should get back to my homework now, hah.

[saltbind]

okay i really got carried away and i dont mean to vent in ur asks but ur post about being uncomfortable with the way fandom misgenders sam and leans into the misogyny of the show is so relatable i had to say something on it. feel free to publish this ask or to add ur own opinion, i dont mind!

i think now i am less uncomfortable with girl sam headcanons and i even enjoy transfem sam hcs in the later seasons,, but especially when i was first joining the fandom seeing the amount of misgendering and girlifying of sam made me so bone deep uncomfortable. because i saw the way sam was degraded and feminized in canon and i related to him so much in a transmasc way instead

then to go into the fandom and see people leaning into the misgendering and calling him a woman for being a man who *checks notes* is nice to people? has long hair. likes to be clean?? felt like it was just perpetuating the sexism of the show. it felt incredibly invalidating to say the least,, and to say a lot more, it made me feel uncomfortable being trans in the spn fandom.

even now its incredibly hard to trust anyone in the spn fandom to not be transphobic or hold transphobic values. someone can have 'terfs dni' in their pinned post all they want but are they really challenging sexism, bioessentialism, or transphobia by calling men women for acting slightly feminine? are trans people supposed to be comfortable around them when they see a man with the slightest amount of ass, with a tiny bit of hip and waist visible, and pointing at him laughing and calling him a woman? (also its made worse by the fact that sams not all that feminine? hes a very masculine big buff guy. the way the show misgenders him is almost comical when paired with that fact, but the way fandom perpetuates it and doubles down on it is something else entirely.)

its hard because i understand that people are going to relate to the show differently to me. i relate to sam in a way that ties into my trans male identity. other people might relate to him and the way hes treated as feminine because of their feminine identity. to some people it could be liberating and an expression of their own identity to focus on sams femininity and i dont want to ruin or make people feel bad for enjoying that. but this fandom makes me feel like im fucking crazy for being uncomfortable with sexism and transphobia sometimes.

-hellhoundlair

i completely get all of this and feel the same honestly!

one of the things that makes me relate so much to sam, whether he's written a cis man or a trans man, is that he's masculine in ways that are non-typical in the environment he's in. especially when it comes to headcanoning him as trans - it's important to me that he has these traits that can be read as feminine and has asserted his identity as a man anyway. it's important to me that he's unapologetic for the ways that he defies expectation and i'm always going to prefer headcanons that center his masculinity as a big part of his identity.

sometimes it can feel like people see the 'feminine' traits sam has and make the same jump that i used to see when it came to autistic-coded characters. feminine traits = trans woman, autistic traits = ace or agender. and while it's true for some people, i think that making that jump in every instance you see can be really disillusioning for people in that community who don't fit into those boxes. it can make you feel like there's something wrong with you for being trans in a particular direction when you still have traits that are 'typical' for your assigned gender or vice versa, or make you feel like you have to adhere to an identity that doesn't quite fit because everyone talks like it's a given for your personality. when i was younger i really did think and feel like i was ace when i wasn't because of just how many people were convinced the characters i related to were. turns out autistic people can just have very different relationships with sex and i'm very normal for an autistic person! i was never ace, i was just really disconnected with the allistic way of looking at sex.

it's the same with trans headcanons for me. a lot, and i mean a lot of characters that people think of as trans fem have been characters that for me have been huge comfort characters or kin characters, both in this fandom and in others. often for the same reasons that i personally see myself in them - those atypical traits that make me feel like oh that's a guy who's like me! - and every time i have found myself going the other way, and ending up really firm on my own trans masc headcanons. you don't have to be the dictionary definition of masculine to be a man. you can be masculine in ways that are different to what is expected of you and those ways are still just as important and valuable and manly.

again, this isn't necessarily a rebuke to trans fem sam headcanons. this shit is personal and i fully understand that. the above are my personal reasons for my headcanons and the way i am about them.

[mjorthehighway]

Kinda tired of femininity being forced down my throat as a trans man tbh. All the posts about trans men now seems to only vomit "It's OK to be feminine and not medically transition and have a femme voice and dress femme" (which are valid statements don't get me wrong, it's just all i seem to see now)

So this is a Trans Man Positivity post for the men like me:

You are valid if you never want anyone outside your partner(s) to know you are trans.

You are valid if you regularly pitch your voice down/do vocal training

You are valid in wearing clothes that make you feel safe and comfortable, even if you'd rather wear something else (you'll get there, take your time!)

You are valid if the idea of not being able to bind for a day scares you/makes you anxious

You are valid if you get upset being constantly misgendered, despite all the hard work you've put into your appearance.

You are valid in going incognito for your own ssfely (I.e. according to everyone who knows you, you are a "cis man")

You are valid in lying about your agab to anyone for your own safety

And finally you are valid if you're even afraid of being transgender at all. Realizing you are trans is sometimes a frightening feeling rather than a euphoric one, especially with all the anti-trans laws sweeping across the US and the almost absolute lack of trans protection laws everywhere else (with a few exceptions obvs) Of course the majority of people are loud and vocal in the support of trans people, we're still nowhere near the state of "every trans person can come out and not be persecuted/hurt" so please be kind to the trans people in your life who are scared/closeted and make decisions about their gender expressions that make them feel safe. If a trans man says "I look really cute in this skirt but I'd feel really unsafe and probably dysphoric if I wore it" maybe take them at their word and don't (even though most people would see it as helping a homie with some dope fashion choices) pressure them into wearing something femme just to "stick it to the man" Yes gendered clothes are bullshit, and the gender binary is bullshit, but don't you ever make a trans person feel bad for playing the gender binary game for their own safety, please and thank you.

Another small slightly related note: Unless someone explicitly states to you that they are OK with you outing them, DONT REVEAL OTHER PEOPLES TRANS IDENTITY. Even if the person you're talking to is open minded and obviously pro-trans it's still not your place to out someone else without permission. Ever. Trans people aren't here to give you more woke points by being your friends, so stop parading us around to other people like trophies. Stop it.

[r00tpackl0ver]

In honor of pride month. Some silly musings about gay and gender hcs when it comes to my self ship. Mostly just me projecting.

[cw for mentions of past misgendering/transphobia/homophobia]

[Also! I've decided to give my S/I a nickname, Blot, so it doesn't sound like I'm constantly talking in third person. There's a reason for this name but...I will talk about it later ;) ]

To start off. I feel like being gay/gnc on the Inkwell Isles is just an accepted thing. It's a cartoon land with so many diffrent types of people, species and crazy powers that people are already used to others being outside of the box.

If your gnc or wanna kiss the same gender it's like "Cool, good for you." and people move on with their day.

You'd get a lot more folks thinking you're weird if your somehow a homophobic/transphobic person on the isles.

Leading into this, sentient plants have a very loose relationship with gender. Plants, including veggies, famously dont conform to gender like humans irl, so for more anthropomorphic ones I think it would translate over to them too.

To most vegetables, traditional genders and having to be straight isn't usually something you consider. Most see no point in boxing yourself so just kinda go with the "mess around and find out" method, being allowed to explore what they want and choose for themselves.

The Root Pack personally present themselves masc and use masc terms with themselves becauss that's what their comfortable with after years of figuring it out.

They also don't really consider gender when it comes to romance too. They already had barely any romantic experience before, but even then, they never really cared or thought about the gender of a potential partner beforehand.

Most people would say their Pan but they don't label themselves because again, it's not something they think about.

Now that being said, when the funny ink man gets thrown onto the Isles. He doesn't really know this and since he comes from the real world so he's afraid at first.

Before getting transported they had to deal with many people not accepting their idenity, even people they were close to. So it lead to them having to stay in the closet a lot and trust issues. He considers himself lucky people on the isles refer to him as man but he's still weary.

What gets him most afraid is when he starts getting....attached to his new vegetable friends he is very panicked.

It'd be bad enough if he'd been just crushing on friends...but friends who are guys? Poor man's bad experiences really effected him.

Paritally because of this they don't fully realize Chauncey is crushing hard since they met, until much later.

They're aware that the carrot likes to be close most of the time and says some flirty things, but they tell themself that's just his (odd) way of being friendly. They're mistaken, there's no way he sees him like that. Right? (Wrong)

However once Blot does realize he doesn't have to hide himself and his feelings. He's really off for the better, and it's noticable. Getting to not only be accepted for who he is but also??? He get's to be a boyfriend???

There's a funny contrast because he starts getting very affectionate once this happens. Before he was too nervous to just hold hands, but now he's saying the most saccharine lines and pet names, and giving out cuddles and kisses when in the right mood.

It's a bit unexpected, but The Root Pack are not complaining about having him fawn over them.

[transitioningpirate]

omgggg i haven't posted anything here for so long!!! i'm so sorry, i forgot i had made this blog and i've been so busy D:

i have to say though things have been going fairly well. i mean money's been a bit rough but nothing too bad, and i got a cat! he's the best and also he's a bastard <3 i have been on hrt for six months now and holy shit it's amazing.

the best thing i've noticed so far is that i barely ever get misgendered anymore. it still happened a lot before hrt, but people used to do that "i'm confused about what you really are but i don't want you to notice..." thing, you know? but now almost everyone correctly assumes i'm a man and i've even had, on the rare occasion of someone assuming i'm a woman, had someone else (a stranger no less) correct that person. i personally haven't noticed many differences to my body aside from increased body hair and maybe a sharper jawline, but whatever people see is definetely enough to gender me correctly finally!

i have definetely noticed my voice has gotten a lot more masculine which is really fun too! i used to get so concerned over public speaking, trying to unnaturally deepen my voice, but now even when i don't do that i'm still not misgendered, it's so amazing :D

my skin quality dropped significantly :( but thats really the only single downside ive had lmao my sex drive has also been much higher and bottom growth is happening a lot faster than expected!! also my curls seem to be a bit thicker but i dont know if thats a result of me finally being comfortable with letting my hair grow a bit or if it's some weird side effect of t. being more comfortable is something thats insane to me. i never knew what a few "sir"s and "mister"s could do to a mf lol

today i even went outside not binding at all which usually would make me wish for the sweet relief of death but honestly? i didnt even care this time. based around the amount of strangers that called me sir, man, dude, guy, mister and used the right pronouns without me saying anything in these pasts few months, i can safely assume i just honestly look like a guy with boobs. and since i was just going to get something with the doorman really quickly i didn't even bother. and it didnt make me uncomfortable! im sure it would have if i had gone any further but as it was? i did just fine. and i love that.

also, i finally got the confidence to die my hair a bright color (green!!) and im slowly getting back into using eyeliner which is something i enjoyed a lot before dysphoria started kicking my ass!!

all in all, 10/10, loving it so much. if i could marry hrt i would. this is so much better than i expected and so much faster too. im so happy i cant even put it into words that accurately quantify how much joy this has been bringing me :')

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[mlm-mod-taka]

hello!! im resubmitting the transmasc reader coming out to shuichi and hajime request :00 and dw abt it!! stuff happens :]

COMING OUT • hajime, shuichi x transmasc reader

thank you for understanding! i really dislike inconveniencing people, so ill definitely try my best not to do it again. ill attempt to make up for it with these hcs, even though im not the best at writing for hajime and shuichi. i hope you enjoy these!

tws/cws: mentions of misgendering and dead naming.

|| -> mod taka <3

is worried when you ask to talk to him privately. whatever youre about to say to him, it must be a big deal for you to look so worried and serious at the same time.

"is something wrong s/o? did anything happen?" he'll listen intently as you try to explain to him that youre transmasc, and that you want to go by different pronouns now.

once you finally get it out of your mouth, he just pauses for a second, no emotion on his face. right when youre about to say sorry and that he should just ignore what you said, he goes "so youre my boyfriend now, right?" theres no sign of hostility or agression in his voice.

you think for a second, and nod. "hm, i suppose that would make me bisexual." hajime says again, then he looks up at you, smiling. "thanks for telling me s/o. what pronouns do you want to go by?"

really doesnt cause that much of a hassle when you do come out to him. if youre ready to tell everyone else, then he'll offer to say it to them instead of you so they dont bombard you with questions.

if youre not ready yet, then he'll just nod. he will discretly start using they/them pronouns for you though, hed rather not misgender you and make you uncomfortable because of others.

will cook you food that increases your testosterone and decreases your estrogen! that is, if he could cook. instead just asks teruteru to cook you some eggs since they increase t, and some mushrooms since they decrease estrogen.

will start using traditionally masc ways to compliment you, if youre comfortable with that! will also use gender neutral ways to address you. most likely will call you his lover/partner rather than boyfriend.

corrects people who use the wrong pronouns, and also tell others to stop throwing your deadname around. finds it really annoying that he still hears people use those, so he tries his best to get them to stop doing so.

gets onto the "my partner is trans and thats cool." part of social media, he doesnt know how and he doesnt know why, but he just does. will often send you the photos and memes he finds on that side of the internet.

if he ever does something even remotely offensive or wrong, please correct him! he wont put up an arguement since he knows that he has no say with whats offensive to trans people when hes not trans himself, so he'll immediately apologize and correct whatever he was doing.

honestly, you being transmasc doesnt really effect the way he sees you at all. the only difference is he now sees you as more androgynous and with a different name. he still loves you, inside and out.

probably had a feeling that you werent cis beforehand, but he doesnt comment on it in case hes wrong. once you do come out to him, hes very supportive.

"thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. do you have a new name and new pronouns you want me to use?"

he switches to your new set of pronouns and your name very easily, and never uses your old ones again. his mind probably saw you as androgynous even if you originally identified as a woman, so its not that big of a change.

buys you traditionally masculine clothing you can wear to any formal events, so you dont have to feel gender dysphoria if you ever need to go to one and you only have old gowns.

buys you 7 new binders so you can wear a clean one during every day of the week. also includes those fabric transmasc flags that you can put up on your wall as decoration.

probably identified as lgbtq+ already, so his label most likely didnt change after you came out.

when its june, he asks if you want to go to the biggest pride parade in the area, and just have a small date near it. he wants you to be proud of who you are, so he often asks if you can do things like that together.

probably gives you alot of transmasc colored items. you passed a math test with flying colors once, so he gave you a cake that was colored as the transmasc flag inside as a little surprise.

really likes giving you those kinds of things, he thinks your flag is so pleasing to the eye. therefore, any chance he gets to give you something like that, he takes it immediately.

will send you funny tiktoks involving your identities. you dont know how he finds them, but theyre hilarious so you just want him to keep sending them to you.

hes already quite educated with the problems and the taboo subjects/actions in the trans community, and he definitely knows his boundaries. if he finds something that states that whatever hes doing/thinking is problematic, he instantly gets rid of that part of him with no struggle or second thought.

marks the day that you came out to him so you and him can celebrate it every year. its a big sign of trust and loyalty to him, which is a thing that he thinks should be celebrated.

one of the few times he isnt timid is when someone misgenders or deadnames you. he all of a sudden becomes this serious and stoic character when he heard someone referring to you like that.

is just very happy that you trust him enough to tell him who you really are, and will treasure you forever. loves you either way, because youre still the same person he loves, regardless of your gender.

[dantelionwishes]

I WANNA HEAR D'S THOUGHTS ON JEN'S QUESTION Spill the beans! You've even got me curious now!

“Do you think Rose is a good person?”

I’ll answer not just Jen’s question, but generally thoughts surrounding D and Rose’s relationship!! It’s gonna be long because I think about this a WHOOOOOOLE lot, and I seriously mean a whole lot,,, so read ahead!

btw, if you think Rose is a bad person and D hates him, that’s where you’re mistaken! IT’S MY STORY MY HEADCANONS SO IF U DONT WANNA READ THIS THEN DONT BRO HJASGJHASHJ

PRE-ETERNATUS, CHALLENGER ARC

Ive mentioned before, but D and the chairman had a fairly good relationship!!

In-game, rose is very interested in the player and talks to you a lot, so honestly not much changes here

D, in his challenger phase, is forcibly very loud and flamboyant. being overly animated and confident, he’s able to keep up with rose who likes to chat and banter with him 

When d talks to people, he KNOWS he’s being over-the-top, which is why he feels very awkward doing it (when people point it out, it makes it painfully awkward and embarrassing for them. Point in case: bede and Marnie!)

Rose finds him a very interesting trainer and observes D a lot. Its not hard to notice how hard he’s trying, but rose doesn’t point this out and genuinely moves along with what D’s vibes are as to not make him feel any more humiliated 

D is aware that Rose is playing along with his act, and thanks to this it really builds up trust like!! Oh the chairman isn’t making fun of me and genuinely finds me interesting and strong!!!! the chairman!! What a morale boost!!!!!! 

Again, its genuinely (funny and) awkward when D is being his over-the-top animated self, and its easy to point this out (which most people do, from his rivals to other trainers, to even gym leaders) but the only people who dont actively point it out AND act along would be his mom, hop, Leon, and rose! 

in addition, D has a pretty high-pitched voice so its easy to tell he’s trans?? He was worried he was going to be misgendered by such an all-important person like the chairman, but was surprised when rose immediately was just comfortable with calling him a “young man”

Another cute trivia thing during this stage was that they both are wearing shades for their “incognito mode” and D even gives the chairman some fashion tips for the next time he goes out!

It actually pisses off bede with how much rose and d talk;;;;;;  def one of the reasons why d and bede fight hhhh

The part of the plot where they head to rose tower, D was actually very against it in the beginning, saying that he could actually just try and call up the chairman if he wanted to! He tries and tries, but then starts to panic once he does in fact realise that something isnt right 

Even after storming thru rose tower and defeating oleana, d eVEN TRIES TO INVITE ROSE TO THEIR DINNER (MY BOY IS THINKIN: A DINNER WITH HIS FAV PPL!! HOP, LEON, AND ROSE!! the only one missing would be his mom) ……….but r-rose dismisses it with a smile, saying maybe next time…………..

D is a meek, insecure person who is easily broken down, so he really needs a lot of support to keep moving sO JUST IMAGINE this baby boy who puts trust in someone suddenly goes batshit and you have to defeat them with ur own hands????? Wowza. 

POST-ETERNATUS, NEWLY APPOINTED CHAMPION

OH BOY EVERYONE KNOWS HOW THIS FUCKIN GOES IF THEY REMEMBER MY FIRST POSTS JHASGJHHJAS

Ive already shown this via an illustration + a short Drabble, but its only after the eternatus battle that their father-son relationship is revealed

The game really doesnt show how serious the eternatus battle was, but for me: Leon was hospitalised for quite some time and wasn’t allowed to battle D until he healed up. At the same time, this gave D a lot of time to think about wHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED

I dont mention it, but this is where his gym leader au starts off from the canon timeline!! At this point, D is calling his mom or talking to hop or just locking himself up and is just generally in a panicked state where he feels like dropping out of the challenge, feeling overwhelmed with what just happened

ANYWAY IM HERE TO TALK ABT ROSE AND D but lets just say his Pokemon convince him to continue!!   

at the same time of his win, gossip went around quick and not only is D now very popular for suddenly defeating the unbeatable champion Leon, but is actually the “villainous” chairman rose’s son!??!?!?!??!! 

POOR SON BOY IS OVERWHELMED ONCE MORE, HELP HIM.

He actually escapes to the isle of armour + crown tundra as a way to give him time to think about this more (isle of armour: personal time for himself to think alone, crown tundra: chance to spend time with relatives he didn’t know he had) 

OK GENUINE RELATIONSHIP ANALYZATION TIME:

After becoming champion, he really didnt go see rose at all, feeling a plenty mix of frustration, sadness, anger, betrayal, but!! his feelings dont simply surround the “oh the adult I trusted was actually bad and lied to me“ or “wtf hes the dad who wasn’t there for me and is the reason why mom is alone how dare he” IT REALLY WAS A MIX OF BOTH HGHHGHH

But its BECAUSE he was close to him in the first place that he knows rose wasn’t just….straight up a bad person or a villain

The important part here was that rose and D were close during the challenger part, and our lad had a lot of time to think about how he was simply a good, misguided man

rose is very passionate about the things he cares about, to the point of doing anything and everything for them (ex. Awakening eternatus for Galar’s sake to the point of accidentally getting darkest day, or even working hard for Miriam’s sake to the point of accidentally never being there for her anymore) 

Yeah, d talked to a whole lot of people to think this over. He learned what happened between rose and his mom while talking to her, and D also learned what happened between peony and rose to further understand what’s up!!

In the process, I like to think both Miriam and peony dont hate rose! D was also an important factor in helping the both of them realise and clear up a few things, and at least, in their minds, stay on good terms with rose 

During both DLC arcs, D is silent at first but slowly n surely starts sending small letters to Rose :’))

YAY ACTUAL INTERACTION????

After a lot of thought on his self-journey, its safe to say that D had felt a lot more comfortable, finally talking to rose after the galarian star tournament arc !!

Ive mentioned before, but its not like D has to start from scratch since they had a good relationship as challenger and chairman beforehand anyway

D wants a dad! He does want to meet his dad, and at the same time rose regrets not making time for his lover and future family, so I’d say after pushing away the initial negative awkwardness they do both have the same, genuine goal in mind to talk to each other and build a good relationship with each other!!!!!!

Ive also said before but like ONE OF D’S FEARS IS…..”WHAT IF I MEET MY DAD AND HES TRANSPHOBIC” YKNO???? So knowing that rose already thinks hes already perfect in his eyes, IT REALLY DOES WONDERS TO A YOUNG BOY YKN O ?? ? ? ? ?? 

Uhhhhh honestly I really dont know how jail works and shit sO LETS JUST SAY D VISITS REGULARLY IF HES NOT BUSY WITH CHAMPION DUTIES!!!

Also I have nO idea what oleana means by “WHERE IS CHAIRMAN ROSE” cos like….iSNT HE JUST VIBIN IN JAIL??????? Lets just say he is sdghjjhsdhj

TL;DR

D had a lot, and I mean A LOT, of time to think about Rose. He does not have any ill intentions or feelings towards him, and the two have a hopeful, slowly budding father-and-son relationship. 

[lewdmememonarch]

Do you think its ok for a cis girl to use he pronouns? I know that probably doesn’t make any sense. I know I’m a girl, I love being a girl/female, especially a lesbian female who sometimes switches between feminine and masculine styles. Some days I just have thoughts like “I wouldn’t mind being referred to as he or him” and I always brush it off because I currently live with my conservative religious family but thats besides the point. Im slightly confused and don’t know what to do about it lol

It sounds more like your genuinely questioning your gender identity more then anything. If you feel more comforable with all pronouns rather then only 1 set thats valid and could mean you might fall under non binary (there are variety of non binary people, that includes transitioning or not and not oweing androgeny) but thats something you would need to look into as its a very personal thing to figure out and no one can tell you how to identify. And you dont owe anyone your pronouns or visibility at compromise of your safety, so if you dont feel safe or you dont feel now is the right moment to tell other then don't but the least you can do is find out for yourself and be true to yourself whatever that may be 😊

Keep in mind this advice is coming from someone questioning their own gender identity atm in pretty much the same way, I've been very unsure lately if certain words cause me anger and uncomfortability because they have a sexist history or because I genuinely feel dysphoria cause by them. Did I want to be a variety of genders when I was younger because of the negativity connotation surrounding being female or because I genuinely felt happy not being boxed in to one gender? Was I angered being misgendered as boy as a preteen because I felt a female or because it was insulting to be called a boy when you identified as a girl and vice versa because it was basically people saying you dont look like my percieved version of feminity and therefore not normal and thats more of an issue caused by other people I was always comfortable with myself.

Those are the questions that have been running through my head lately and so I feel the pain of being unsure and feeling like your imposter syndrome is winning out in that no matter the answer you dont feel valid to take up those spaces as not cisgendered because its not one end of the spectrum to the other and it would could come with cis passing privileges when you dont mind either pronouns. But you just need to keep reminding yourself that your feelings are valid and that your identity is personal and valid no matter what you find your answer being.

Sorry this was so long and I encorouge you to also ask question of those who have worked it out and have the emotional labour availble to answer they might have a better idea then a person who is still working things out 😊but I hope it helps.

[asrasotherbottom]

Main 6 with a Trans MC

(I’m nonbinary and I know my experiences aren’t universal, but I’m gonna try to cover a wide range of possible experiences) 

content warning for misgendering/dysphoria

Asra

-Same hat? SAME HAT 

-May I interest you in my fic about genital illusion magic

-Theres spells for every voice change/hair growth desire you could possibly want

-Religiously reminds you to take a deep breath and stretch if you wear a binder (you do have to talk faust out of volunteering to be a Living Binder though)

-Will literally get the softest material available from Nadia and lovingly hand sew you breastforms. 

-Someone misgenders you?? He’s IN THEIR FACE and ready to FIGHT.

-Will properly gender you LOUDER.

-If you come out to him after you’ve been together a while you here him in the back room with the tarot deck all spread out and hes literally talking to it to tell them the news and threatening the arcana to not misgender you, (if thats even possible? he doesnt know but hes gonna tell them anyway)

-Name change? He heals over your deadname in the tree if you want and carves your new name in. The magic radiating from it is different but still full of love. 

-Extremely respectful if you get dysphoric and as much as he loves relaxed carefree cuddling, it always takes a backseat to your desire for certain for certain parts of your body to not be touched and hes extremely mindful.

Nadia 

-Nadia is definitely trans herself dont @me. (all of nadia’s siblings are also trans and they all came out at the same time im very attached to this headcanon) 

-If you come out after you’ve been together a while? A new wardrobe to your preferences appears literally the next day.

-The softest binders in all of vesuvia.

-The Best voice trainers if you desire them, the most prestigious doctors if you desire hormones. 

-Someone misgenders you? Her scowl is enough to ruin their entire life. If they keep trying? they’re never allowed in the palace again. 

-Always showing you off, wants to have a big ball in your honor after you come out. 

-Gives the guards and servants pronoun badges to help normalize being cognizant of pronoun usage.

-Literally just imagine being curled up against nadia while she plays with your hair and you tell her your gender feelings and she gets that really big smile of hers and tells you that she appreciates you telling her and she loves you thanks im crying. 

Julian

-Has definitely encountered the concept of trans people in his travels but needs a refresher and then he says “Oh just like _______” and then hes fine

-Extremely nervous about messing up your name or pronouns and asks before touching you even more than he already does because he really doesnt want to hurt you or make you upset. 

-Hormone leeches? Hormone leeches. 

-He pins a very confused leech dealer up against the wall of the red market and says not to come back until theyve found hormone providing leeches. 

-He talks to Mazelinka about it and shes like “gods Ilya you shouldve come to me first” and she has a MILLION different soups for hair growth or stopping hair growth and voice changes. 

-Also very good at reminding you to stretch and take deep breaths if you wear a binder. 

-Has gotten into bar fights because people misgender you

-Has gotten into bar fights because he loves you so much hes just gotta go jump into the middle of an unrelated bar fight.

-If the community theatre ever tries to use the man in a dress trope as a Joke ever again he raises all hell. 

Muriel

-Not super emotional in any direction when you come out. 

-Immediately switches name and pronoun use though if thats something you want. 

-Protection from transphobes charms

-Literally the only time he’ll talk to julian is to ask about medical stuff for you. 

-Honestly i think muriel and mazelinka would get along famously and she would still have great stuff for you. 

-Totally gets not wanting to be touched sometimes and is extremely respectful of that. 

-If someone misgenders you in public he gets really angry for a second and then very sad and pulls you into an alleyway and hugs you

-I feel like Muriel, growing up with asra “gender is fake” alnazar probably only has a loose grasp on gender himself

-Is much more responsive to your social dysphoria than anyone else. 

-Smiles more often though when he sees you feeling good in your gender presentation. 

Portia

- Portia needs a trans 101 but shes EXTREMELY receptive and gets really excited afterwards that you felt okay to tell her about your feelings. 

-Has a million questions and gets a little invasive but IMMEDIATELY puts the brakes on when she sees you getting uncomfortable. 

-Is much more mindful from now on. 

-Holds a family meeting with maz and julian to ask their advice on how to best support you

-She asks nadia for new clothes for you. 

-Practices pronoun usage on Pepi to make sure she absolutely gets it right.

-Can, will, has punched people who misgender you.

-Uses her secret passages to eavesdrop on EVERYONE to make sure no one is fucking up your name or pronouns. 

Lucio

-Listen kids he thinks hes great at this gender stuff and that he knows what hes doing but he fucks up every 5 minutes

-Its the first time hes ever actually tried in his whole goat damned life though which is kinda nice. 

-New wardrobe? Done

-Magical fully functioning packer? Done

-Doctors? Voice Coaches? Done and Done 

-Threatens to put anyone who misgenders you in the dungeon (or worse) (definitely usually “or worse”)

- Somehow finds a way to make it about himself. 

-”If youre a ___ now, does that mean I finally get to ___?” 

-In his defense he doesnt really understand being in touch with your feelings as a concept. 

-He DOES understand not feeling at home in his appearance though and is EXTREMELY on top of that and making you feel as physically comfortable in your presentation and body as possible. 

-Definitely has a lower back tattoo of your name and complains about having to get it covered up, but does it anyway because he loves you. 

[oscar-mildes]

elvira you know I always see what you're hiding in the tags,, I will always read it if you answer all of them abhsjdbs

nev you asked for this and im going to go thru with it bc im an oversharing idiot like oh you asked me how’s the weather i will tell you about all my trauma instead :D 

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? i’m cis yo i’m she/her. i’m biromantic ace. thats the label i would put on it i guess. i really just refer to myself as gay bc i like pretty boys who look like girls and pretty girls and pretty nb and queer people and basically i just like pretty people ajsfbjf

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story? theres no story to it. no epiphany or realization. i just always was ok with thinking that girls were pretty and that gay people are cool and it wasnt until recent years that i was like oH SHIT AM I GAY

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it? no i guess bc i’m a girl and id as a girl and have a very obvious girl body

Who was the first person you told, how did they react? i guess my best friend. we’re both very ok with gay shit and we just always made comments about pretty girls and now we’re both pretty gay. i like my big tiddie anime girls and she likes her pretty kpop girl bands

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel? i’ve only “come out” to some of my friends. i would NEVER in my LIFE even imagine telling my mom i like girls. shes homophobic Like That

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react? uhh see above. my mom, stepdad, family members are all homophobic. hispanics in general are Like That rip. i think my dad would be the most ok with it but he lives in mexico and i dont talk to him often anyway. doesnt matter

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality? i hate when people ask me about the ace part. like they have a bigger problem about my not wanting to have sex over the liking girls part tbh. sometimes it’s difficult for me to even describe where i am on the ace spectrum. it’s honestly the more difficult part 

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. basic nerd. you know those fics like “she dressed in a black t-shirt, skinny jeans, and all star converse” yea that she is me

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships? ajkfj this is a good question and canon wise i love Ash and Eiji from Banana Fish, Uenoyama and Mafuyu from Given, Nezumi and Shion from No. 6, and Simon and Baz from Carry On. Not canon i love Kurama and Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho, Izuku and Todoroki from My Hero Academia, and Inosuke and Tanjiro from Demon Slayer. Note how most of them are anime i

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any? i dont really wear any bc im lazy. if you like it you do you but idrc for it? except for lipstick i LOVE lipstick i have all the colors. i wear it so it distracts people from the rest of my face

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you? ...no

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community? i live in the south so ive heard tons of shit talk about gay people. i dont really have any that stand out. my mom just likes to say that we’re going to hell :D so let’s give em a show ay

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? i guess i like how we find solidarity in each other just bc we’re not straight. most of the lgbt+ folks i know are pretty chill about everything

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? terfs but they dont count

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not? i live in a small town and i could never sneak out of my house for that bc i still live with my mom so no

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity? theres so many big celebrities now that id as lgbt+ but im going old school and loving my man, my tumblr url namesake mr Oscar Wilde. my man got put in jail for sodomy 

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet? lmao never bc im mean, ugly, and terrible at talking to people irl. i had a bf in middle school? but bc i was 12 i dont count it 

What is your favourite lgbt+ book? Carry On and the sequel Wayward Son. (very anxiously waiting for book 3 Anyway the Wind Blows come on Rainbow Rowell)

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened? for being gay? no. bc im not really out. ive faced discrimination for being a brown woman tho :)))

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show? yall i love gay anime: Given, Banana Fish, No. 6, Yuri on Ice yeee. i dont really watch tv with real people but i think that Brooklyn 99 does a very good job with Holt and Rosa yall im love Rosa

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers? theres bloggers??? um idk i love u nev so you count right @why-do-you-pick-flowers

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim? for a while everyone was mad as hell about “im gay for ___” and idk im gay for everything so thats a “slur” i use for myself

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it? ive never gone omg i’d probably be intimidated as hell like i have a lot of problems just existing so to be existing around very flamboyant and extravagant people like that makes me break into a nervous sweat

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you? ive always felt like a girl even tho my mom always said “oh you like boy things??? you should have been born a boy” but like, your likes and dislike dont determine your gender. i like “boy” things and “dress like a boy” but i dont FEEL like a boy. ive never had any desire to become a boy or id as a boy. gender is a social construct fuck society

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not? i have a very complicated relationship with children. babies are ugly and toddlers are annoying but i feel like if i had children i would love them obviously because theyre mine. this is gonna be a weird analogy but like i dislike cats. BUT  i have cats. and i love the fuck outta them. so i feel like thatd be me with kids. but im ace so like.... who would even have kids with me. i could not. pregnancy seems like a hassle and adoption is... i have thoughts on that but thats for a different post. also i can see myself being married and not having children OR having kids without a spouse. theres just something complicated about having both??? maybe im just fucked in the head idk bro

What identity advice would you give your younger self? you dont hate girls you like them, dumbass

What do you think of gender roles in relationships? fuck gender roles. get pegged, bros. i also have a very specific dynamic if i ever got into a relationship (which you know. wont happen) but like if i dated a guy i feel like i’d be very top. a MAN telling ME what to do??? fuck that. but if i dated a pretty girl??? top me pls

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender? i think ive already said too much oh god someone is gonna look at this and be like what the FUCK but like lmao dont be afraid to ask me i apparently have no shame

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+? it’s scary at first because you think “im not normal” but like pray tell me what is normal. do what makes you happy. fuck society

Why are proud to be lgbt+? i’m comfortable with the people i like. i might not be very confident and i have depression, anxiety, self esteem issues, probs adhd or ocd idfk but at least i know if i see a pretty girl or smth im gonna be like wow that girl is pretty and have no bad thoughts about it. it’s just how it be. after a lot of dissecting my past behavior, ive always been this way. you cant change who you are. just accept it

[pettrichore]

so.. i’m not quite sure how to begin this. i guess i really just need to get something out there regarding my past relationship (well relationships kinda?) and my gender and sexual identity. this is something i need to get off my chest i think and something that, hopefully, will help someone else out?? at least to not make the mistake i made/could have made. i know many people have similar experiences, so i’m not alone in this but.. yeah anyway. everything under the cut

some cw before hand: misgendering, deadnaming, possibly some dubious ???? things around sex ??? done to me (idk how to class it but i just wasnt comfortable w it) though i DO NOT go into any detail. most of this shit i discuss is very vague in how i talk about it but it is mentioned.  

so for the past year about i was in a relationship with this guy. we’ll call him A for convenience sake. before we ever really started dating i came out to A though.... honestly not fully. i just said i was nonbinary and that i dont like being called a girl etc etc. i never REALLY went into how i kinda??? am but really i identify as a guy. i prefer male pronouns etc etc. we spent that night crying together and even after i thought things were good, we hit another rocky patch at the start of our relationship where he didn’t know WHAT to do. after that though it was pretty smooth sailing. A kinda... idk like he would sometimes make shit more awkward than it had to be???? lots of “idk what to call you in this situation” but he TRIED and for that i was grateful. i lied to my friends, and yall im sorry but mostly im sorry to myself, and said yeah no!! he treats me like a boy/like i should be treated etc etc. but this man is STRAIGHT and.... yeah. idk im also sorry to him a bit because i didnt just.. tell him hey no this isnt going to work. clearly you dont like guys like that. im a GUY no matter how i look or what i let other ppl call me bc im not OUT out. but i let this shit happen.

i was thrilled that when i wanted to cut my hair short and shit he was excited and said i’d look great. i was thrilled about a lot of things. i think shit started out okay though i shouldnt have started a relationship with someone who was so out of his own depth and who... wasnt going to be able to love and respect me like i needed. anyway shit continued though and i stopped trying to correct him with any female pronouns or whatever. i... kinda gave into that side of things. it’s not that i DONT like putting on makeup. it’s not that i dont sometimes actually love how i look (i’ve come more to terms with my looks actually) idk im not really gender conforming anyway so yeah.. but i REALLY gave in. when talking to him i even referred to myself as a girl and so on to which he was surprised and i tried to act nonchalant about. i was just really doing myself a disservice. god i even like... cut myself off from my own friends which.. that’s a whole other thing but at that point i had NO ONE who would call me by my NAME not my dead name. who would love and respect me for me. and when i came back to it god it was so fucking refreshing to hear it. 

i apologize if some of this shit seems a bit all over the place. anyway so not only was i fucking myself over and hurting myself but... he honestly didnt.. idk A was kinda a shithead with things!! ngl!!! im still furious that i was like.. okay you can call me THIS nickname and this nickname ONLY. bc it was comfortable enough and wasnt my full deadname yknow?? and at first it was cool but.. he refuses to do that now!! and i just never had the energy to argue with him because i would look like the bad guy. i always looked like the bad guy when i expressed that something made me upset (and that’s a whole other topic of why it’s sooo fucking good i got my heart broken and im no longer dating him.. god he wanted to get MARRIED yall i could have been SO trapped in something SO bad) anyway the thing that pisses me off the most about the name thing though is that he doesnt like his full first name. like he just doesnt like it. and like wants to be called by a nickname. so fine yes god i respect that and call him as such. but why does HE get the respect of a nickname he’s fine with and I do not???? makes NO fucking sense right??

i dont really know where i’m going with this anymore.. anyway i kinda just convinced myself that things would be fine. that i was faking it. that i WAS cis. that i was 1000% okay with all of this!! that if i just got used to it i could love it. that if he touched me in ways i didnt fully like or if he called me things that i didnt like either that.. i would get used to it. that it would be good!! we could be happy!!! honestly i did this with everything in our relationship. be it the small disagreements, the sex, or whatever. ugh.. i was so wrong i was so fucking.. in my own head about it. convinced that like.. NO ONE will love me how i want. no one will see me as i am. so i’ll take this one slight (not at all) victory. i’ll take the fact that i’m loved here and pretty happy for the most part and i’ll run with it. because how WILL i meet someone who likes me like i want and need??? i CANNOT come out. i cant go on dating apps with my actual gender. i cant just.. do any of that. and i met him. he was okay with some shit and he loved me and i loved him and yknow what i’ve GOTTA take it and run. i’m still scared i’ll never really be loved like i should. this is the SECOND time i started a relationship with a probably/def straight guy and came out. first time it was okay but i didnt really like him. he is ?? bi ??? now idk. and then he like misgendered me the second we broke up so lol. 

anyway this doesnt have a happy ending (yet) but i hope it will... and even if it doesnt i hope that if someone reads this and they’re in a similar situation that ur honest with yourself and your partner or whoever. i cant say i wont be an idiot again but i really hope not. this whole experience was much longer and much harder on me than the first guy i dated for like a few weeks in high school. i never want to go through this again.. but yeah i mean i’m still so fucking scared. i’m fine being single for now. i also wont just jump into a relationship anymore but... honestly i do want to be loved. i want to be loved the way i should be. i want someone who will accept me not being OUT out. someone who will love the way i look even if it doesnt look like a guy or someone super androgynous. and someone who will call me danny. who will refer to me by the right pronouns and such. idk who that’ll be or when i’ll meet that person but god.. i need it. i need to stop falling for straight boys lol

[butch-bakugo]

*sigh*

Ngl, i think i might just start living irl as a straight trans guy but living closetedly as a nb butch. No label feels completely set and i dont feel as deep as a connection other than lesbian. Its a very big and important part of me. It describes me perfectly and i truely connect with the nb butches of the ol'days. I wish it was more accepted to just identify lesbian as my gender too. It takes up most of my identity.

Ive been running and running through labels left and right. Trans man, genderfluid, non-binary, agender, demi-boy, demi-gender, demi-fluid, demi-flux, demi-fluidflux, libra-fluid, libra-fluxid... I... Im so damn tired.

I know im not a boy or a girl. I know i mostly feel no gender but occationally i fluctuate to boy or girl or a mix or something entirely different. I know i only feel comfortable and have the desire of being in relationships with girls and fellow non-binary people. By definition im a genderfluid lesbian. But...

Then i read all this crap about how i dont exist. How i ruin lesbianism with my existance. How thats not how it works... Then i see how much easier binary people have it. The world is built for you. Labels are set in stone. Its easier. Its 2.

I would kill to just be cis or a binary trans guy. Itd be so much fucking easier to figure myself out. I know i wanna go on T. I know i want top surgery but not bottom surgery. I know i want to eventually even grow a beard at some point. I know my natural chest and higher voice make me dysphoric. I guess even deeper being that id like to be feminine. I like make up, painted nails and pretty dresses. I like pink and soft things but... I dont like to be thought of as a girl because it makes me feel like they dont understand that im not one.

It feels like another person is misgendering me. Another fucking mispronoun. Another fucking she, another fucking her another fucking daughter and sister and miss and ma'am! IM NOT A FUCKING GIRL STOP CALLING ME THAT!!! But i cant say that... Cause then im just another " cringe sp*cial s**wfl*ke tumblr sjw"... Cause then im just " another delusional kid".... Then im just another annoying angry trans person, just like the stupid fucking transmeds and transphobes want me to be....

But then it all just fucking falls apart when.i realize no matter what i am, lesbian cis girl or straight trans guy or nb butch aroace or wtf.... Im still probably gonna end up another fucking statistic that no one ever fucking reads. Im just gonna be a faceless name on a list of all the trans teens lost to transphobic homicides in 2020. If suicide dosent take me first... The gods know it has tried so many times before.

I want my death to mean something. I want to be prolific face for non-binary lesbianism. I want to be a good example to all the kids just like me that it can work out in the end and they will be ok but i cant... I cant say it will. Discovering that i was trans and gay has been simultaneously the most freeing and happiest as well as the most restricting and worst parts of my life. I know now that i wasnt given a chance. I still dont have one. I grew up in an abusive household, i was abused and raped by my first girlfriend, i was bullied all 12 years of school, im trans, im a lesbian, im severely mentally ill, im mentally disabled and i dont know how much more i can keep pushing. Im terrified and angry. Im scared how much more fucking horrible my life could get considering all its truely done is gotten progressively worse and worse... Im mad cause i believe i have an actual talent and i truely have the passion to achieve my dreams but i know they'll be taken from me due to cards ive carried from birth that i can never change or redraw.

I was born a nothing and ill die a nothing all because i just wanna be who i always was... I tried to live as some peppy pretty cishet girl without a care in the damn world but it was killing me. Im trying to live more honestly to myself as a nb aroace butch but even i know it will kill me. No matter what choice i make it always leads to death. Im either killing myself because i cant stand another day a pregnant skinny cishet girl with a husband and 2 kids and ill be remembered as a traitor and whore and liar.. Or ill be killed in the street because some nazi straight guy beat me to death for holding my gfs hand and ill be hidden from any news coverage, buried in a pretty white dress under a name that was given to me but never mine with my poor gf locked out on the street.

No matter what im gonna be forgotten and it kills me knowing all the suffering ive experienced in my life, every tear and cut and thought and drop of blood will be gone and labeled again as unimportant. Just like ive always been. Just like ill aways be. Alone and suffering, as good as dead.

I want to clarify if you've read this far, im not in danger of ending my life or hurting others. Im in horrid state and im not healthy but i will eh... Probably be ok soon. I ask any rando terf or transmed or mogai passing this post about to comment about my afabhood or discourseing my beliefs or suggesting another fucking label, just this once, leave nothing in your wake. No likes or reblogs or replies. I dont care about your philosophys and rhetorics and you arent helping me. Your in fact making an already volatile person even more unstable and more of danger to themselves and i know that if i had been the straw that broke the camels back and caused someone to self harm then i would feel horrible. Dont talk and keep scrolling. Thank you.

Also no, do not reblog this. Replies are ok ig but i dont know why anyone would like a post that is essentially a mental break down in text form. Idrc anymore tbh