#like idk it's so wild to me
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It's so weird growing up how fast you get disinterested in eating sweet food. Like I've gone from 'I can eat a bag of Gummi Bears and drink a liter of coke and have a big bar of chocolate in one evening' to 'i'll have sweet things sometimes but I get so sick of like eg Gummi Bears so quickly. A handful is really on the verge of too much sometimes' in so little time.
#like idk it's so wild to me#and i mean im not even 25 yet#i am not old by any standard#i feel like it should be talked about more too#like i remember being 15 and feeling bad for my sugar cravings#i guess partly bc i was watching diet culture shit but also just like i was looking at diet recs made by people in their mid-twenties#at least#and like looking back I'm just like you're fine. you're just like 15 you need more sugar and that's not a bad thing#like just trust yourself and eat whatever you want. eventually you won't like this anymore bc youll be older#i mean i look at my brother and he's 14 and he eats so much and especially so much sweet stuff#and like my parents tell him to stop but honestly i feel like when you're that age like you're going through so much#and like your brain changes etc so like of course you want a lot of sugar what the fuck#and eventually you will get older and realise that having idk some veg with a dip or something#feels better in those moments or you know. sometimes you'll still want sweets but you'll also crave something more substantial#but that's just not how teenagers work
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losing it over gem this season because oh my god is her charisma through the ROOF. all it takes is one word from her for people to die. she commanded pearl to kill grian, and pearl listened. pearl, the closest thing she has to an enemy!! the scarlet pearl, infamous in all her insanity!! gem has wormed her way into the center of every single alliance and pulled every person she comes into contact with into a fatal sense of hesitance.
and she doesn't even do it because she particularly cares either!! even her alliance with joel is, to a degree, superficial. she sees the bamboozler's hit list and she fights to get joel off it at first, but eventually ends it with "at least take me off..."
people tried to kill her a dozen times and they were so afraid of her-- or maybe just felt so guilty-- that even if she didn't ask them to stop, they just DID. no matter how easily they could've killed her in the moment.. and then in the end, when she finally lost her first life, it was only on her terms. she allowed herself to be placed in that hole. she only halfheartedly placed that water bucket. she so blatantly let herself die there.
she feels infallible and honestly, she isn't even wrong to feel that way. that said, it will absolutely get her killed eventually.... but right now she's without a doubt the scariest person on this server and this is a hill i will construct with my bare hands and then die on if i must
#im obsessed with her#she actually fascinates me#her nonchalance. her casual manipulation. she looks to all the world like she isnt even TRYING#shes so powerful it is Terrifying#im in love with her idk#geminitay#life series#wild life#life series spoilers#trafficblr#wlsmp#smallishbeans#grian#pearlescentmoon#lowkey:#gempearl#but that's just me..
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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
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the lovers, reversed
(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)
#art#ride kamens#i am about to go off on wild speculation so excuse me in advance#I HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EVENT YET so this could all be just absolutely nothing but i gotta get it out#(still debating if i wanna save the event for after i finish part 2 or not...)#this is my last chance to throw wacky theories out there okay#i've just. been thinking a lot about the riders the characters are based on and how they relate to their different classes#like the choices seemed SO random when they were first revealed but they do mostly make sense when you think about it#to the point where i actually do feel like i should've been able to call ooo for ambition. damnit.#however i did always feel like jou was a bit of an outlier and now i'm wondering if that's gonna be like...a thing#idk man just the fact that he's gonna have a special double card and bond henshin with taiten is nuts to me#especially since we're clearly on the verge of SOMETHING happening with soun and uryuu#what does it mean. WHAT DOES IT MEAN#what does this mean for the future of tower emblem#and it hasn't escaped me that there is no class associated with evolution (YET)#and thinking about who jou is based on i'm just like#(waves hands) YOU KNOW?!#(plus i'm still like WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR RUI AND HAYATE but that's a separate thing)#i'm gonna try and take my time and not rush through part 2 but i also am SO impatient#i gotta knooooow#given the way my predictions tend to go though i'm either 100% accidentally right about the dumbest thing#or jou is fine but leon fucking dies or something and i'm gonna throw my phone into a lake#HAVE FUN GUYS I GUESS
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prayer of the day:
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#fhjy k2#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#cw: gore#and we're serious abt that warning this time! we mean that shit!#slowly getting some stuff I wanted to draw for the boat fight-finale combo that I couldnt draw in time bc I was doing huge comic#k2 is the Funniest thing to ever happen not bc she's a good bit (she is but thats not relevant here) but bc she let me have Clone Politics#insane shit. so wild that brennan has to send her to real life forever to keep himself safe from her (he isnt)#tbh I love cassandra's domain esp. for stories she truly is the deity for jackasses. k2 walking in here like#idk whats going on but I know it's not good! and by the power of this fucking guy I will unlearn that knowledge#beautiful. wish that were me#doubt as irrational stubborn hope... honestly inspired#wherever u are out there k2. hope ur doing well. going to college learning so much abt the world
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The real sign of the inevitable dissolution of Jayce and Viktor's partnership/friendship really was the Progress Day Speech. I've seen people say this scene highlighted the growing shift in priorities between Jayce and Viktor. That Jayce was getting swept up in the limelight while Viktor wanted to keep it humble and stick to the work, and that's wrong.
First thing's first, Viktor does in fact want to go on stage (he was excited to just demonstrate the hexclaw), and Jayce is sincere in that he wants to share the spotlight and credit for hextech with Viktor. The problem in that scene is that for practically 7 years, Jayce has failed to see what's actually going on.
Jayce can't see that his face and only his face is on the mugs, the blimps, and the very banners that decorate the hall he's supposed to give a speech in. Jayce can't see that the Councilors direct all their questions on hextech to him while Viktor sits right next to him. Jayce doesn't notice that Mel, the most perceptive Councilor, still thought of Viktor as Heimerdinger's assistant (she didn't know they were close??!?!). He doesn't realize that the discussion on weaponizing hextech is centered on him rather than between him and his partner. Viktor isn't the one being invited to Piltover's parties for a reason.
Between Jayce and Viktor, they're partners on equal grounds, but to EVERYONE else in Piltover Viktor is practically a non-entity. The only person who doesn't get this is Jayce. It's a testament to Jayce's earnest naivette to think Viktor, as a Zaunite and visibly disabled, would be easily welcomed on stage by Piltover's elite to represent what Piltover has to offer. You'll notice this is the same crowd of people that attend Mel's Gala, the same Gala Viktor wasn't invited to.
This dynamic is insane!?!?! It's unsustainable!!!!! Obviously, Viktor is a grown man and could have mentioned something to Jayce, but also it's at least 7 years, how does someone miss this?!?!
By their last scene of the finale, Jayce was able to give Viktor a voice on the Council by literally standing by his side and giving him a seat at the table, but like peace treaty, the gesture has come far too late, and things cannot return to as they were.
#arcane#arcane meta#jayce talis#viktor arcane#it's wild to me thay jayce had to introduce viktor to the council as if viktor wasn’t the direct assistant to the head of the council#for years before he joined jayce to create hextech#people think viktor is WAY more humble than he actually is#viktor is forced to constantly be socially conscious of what he's doing and how he's being percieved by a classist and ableist society#idk how private viktor kept these thoughts from jayce because trying to explain them is it's own burden#but those two have worked together for so long that if jayce is still this unaware it's a death flag for their future together#this isn't a jayce hate post by the way#jayce cares about Viktor deeply and he goes out oj a limb for him like against heimerdinger (partially cuz if the bombings too)#but for me those are big gesture moments and the key is consistent support#and that has clearly eroded
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I find it funny that Wild, who has basically a couple years ish of full life experience, comes up with the most insane theories for everything
He assumed that the only other explanation to Four being able to split in Four was. That he was quadruplets who'd been hiding this whole time???
Also apparently he believed that his wolf companion Twilight in botw was a diety (and felt very uhh shocked upon finding out that he was not)
Malon made things worse, telling him about her aliens theory
What's even FUNNIER is that every time Wild expresses any sort of confusion at magic stuff that he's never seen before, everyone else in the chain acts like it's crazy for him to be weirded out by it
Honestly maybe Wild's the only one with his head on straight, rather than everyone else who are just like 'it's magic bro' like no he's right this is weird
I appreciate this because it's very considerate of the fact that he woke up with no memories not too long ago, so he doesn't have much experience to explain the stuff that's 'normal' for the chain. Plus the explanations he comes up with are funny.
:)
.
Art and comic and adorable character by Jojo @linkeduniverse au :D
#I hope this made sense I didn't edit much#linkeduniverse#linked universe#Lu wild#djdjdjdkdjdkckdkxkgg#the 'this is normal it's fine' chain#and 'why is this tree speaking to me' wild#it's just. I mean. I'd have some pretty insane theories too ok#he has no idea why someone could split into four but he has seen two identical twins at a stable once so surely that's an explanation#he's literally so smart tho. like creativity and stuff? being able to pick up on new skills and concepts? he's a genius. a very goofy genius#aahh for his age I said 2 years of life context because he says he's 117 + Jojo said Lu is less than a year after his journey#also mental memories maturity and time awake is all so complicated#so I just said a couple years as kind of a base number idk#(aaaaand if i said anything offensive im sorry of course and none of this is meant as a criticism of wild but I love his crazy theories)#everyone's thoughts matter so much and I love you guys /gen <33#:)#and. I like this and it's funny and fluffy but if my angst writers wanted to get a hold of this O.O
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i don’t mean ‘we had money’ or ‘we struggled.’ did you know (roughly, within ~$10k or local equivalent) how much your parents made?
#i’m at a conference and the speaker mentioned sharing her finances with her kids and the reaction of the audience was VISIBLY SHOCKED#which is wild to me lmao i’ve known dollar amounts of how much my parents have made since i was like. 8.#which i recognize sounds insane on paper but it really helped me to be smarter with money throughout my teenage years yanno#and it didn’t feel like because i said so when my parents were like you can’t do that. because i understood our money situation FULLY.#idk. i literally never even thought about this not being something i told my kids. is this normal.#text#my post#mobi
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post-credit domestics (⚠️ mildly saucy doodles below the cut)
#akia art#olba#baxter ward#olba mc#suggestive#it's ass o clock time to post after-epilogue bullshi-#woe brainworms be upon (me) (pls send help it's been a yr why're they still here)#didn't feel like drawing that many regular proportioned ppl after the comics tho so here are a gazillion chibis#+ at this point idk how many more scenes i'll draw longform#i lov the office convo but i'm shy abt drawing maggie at max cuddly 🤣 these cut doodles Will Suffice#i do think they're pretty tame after traversing wild west twitter lmfao so idk if they rly warrant the fuss#but the fandom seems to trend young so when in doubt cw#(dm the edit..i even wrote 2016 but completely forgot his zebra dye lmao sry for the disrespect on ur initials baxter
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you want a new kind of guy, fine, i raise you: the lady i was briefly roommates with in college who once smoked a blunt at a party and then spent an hour confessing earnestly to me that she genuinely preferred reading detailed episode recaps over actually watching the tv show in question
#she sounded so remorseful & i just stood staring like an anthropologist watching their phd thesis spontaneously manifest before their eyes#apparently she would watch the pilot episode to get a feel for the characters#and then just read a bunch of recaps & episode reviews instead of watching future episodes. what fresh steaming hell#this conversation took place like a year and a half after we were roommates btw. i had seen her maybe twice in that time period#i thought she was a standard frat girl but then 18 months later she appears in the wild grass to reveal unhinged character background to me#and i'm just standing there nodding feeling like i missed a weird opportunity i did not want or ask for#honestly thought i was the weirdest person in that apartment situation but now i'm wondering what our other 2 roommates were hiding#not my strangest college experience at ALL but like. definitely top 20#this wasn't the same person as Aquarium Girl btw but oddly enough they were roommates actually#(not at the same time that Recaps Lady and i were roommates but at different intervals idk)#anyway i probably should have interviewed at more than one apartment before taking over a sublease but summer sess is a weird time u know#oh and this happened in Hong Kong btw
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The Little Things
happy birthday @shepscapades!! you've known about this fic for a little bit, but we talked about how long DBHC Etho's hair had gotten and I really couldn't help myself LOL. I hope you have a great birthday <333
Behind his shoulder, Etho twists a particularly long strand of hair around his finger as they unpack, fidgeting in a way that almost seems anxious. He drags his hand back after a moment, flattening his hair against his neck, combing through absently as he sorts through their collected items and puts them in proper order. Bdubs watches him fidget for a long moment. The thoughts in his head bounce around like loose marbles. Or, Bdubs braids Etho's hair. Etho lets him.
(1506 words)
“Etho.”
Bdubs is staring at the back of Etho’s neck as they walk a short single file through the dark oak trees. Etho holds a steady grip on the hilt of the sword at his hip, head shifting back and forth as they walk together, like they were tethered by an invisible string. He can see the faint glow of his LED in the dappled, midday light. Etho makes a small, confirming sound, but doesn’t look behind him.
“Your hair’s gotten long.”
“Mhh,” Etho hums again—some approximation of pushing out air. He reaches back, combing through the near neck-length hair. “I’m letting it get long. Thought it might be a nice change.”
“‘S it bothering you?” Bdubs asks. Etho shakes his head, glancing back to look at him.
“Keeps getting in my eyes, but otherwise I was just too lazy to cut it.”
Bdubs snorts.
“Typical.”
Etho shoots him a look, but his mouth is curved into a smile—one where he’s trying to stifle it, so his teeth aren’t showing, but he really wants to grin. All visible too since his mask is tucked under his chin. The motion pulls at the off-white scar down his face.
“So mean,” he scoffs. “After everything I do for you, Bdubs!”
“Yeah, right,” Bdubs says, thumping his shoulder with the back of his hand. “And you’re bein’ dramatic.”
Etho sticks his tongue out at him, but doesn’t argue any further. Bdubs almost socks him again for that, but Etho giggles enough to get him to start laughing, and by the time he’s even considered it again, their base has come into view. Well—what some would call a stack of deepslate that looked like fort walls. Kind of. It was something at least, even if it wasn’t all that pretty. He can see the peek of Tango’s head over the wall, just a smudge of gold against the backdrop. He must be moving their chests around to keep building, because there’s no way their walls were as short as Tango.
They both pick their way toward the base just as Tango’s head disappears. By the time their cajoling and banter is within earshot, Tango’s standing outside the front of their base, eyebrows raised.
“You two sure make a lot of noise,” he complains, folding his arms. “I swear I could hear you from across the river.”
Bdubs snorts.
“Blame Etho for that one,” he grumbles, pushing past the two of them. He hears Tango snort as he starts giggling, and Etho makes a particularly pathetic sound in retaliation.
“Bdubs started it,” he complains, dragging himself after Bdubs and into the base proper. Tango twists around to follow them both, trailing after as Bdubs lingers near the doorway.
“Did you two at least bring back somethin’ to eat?”
“You bet your buns we did,” Bdubs snorts. He drops to sit beside his bag, fiddling until the clasps come undone. There, he reaches in, and hands Tango a chunk of entirely unprocessed redstone. When Tango twists it this way and that, it catches the light in a surprisingly interesting way. He watches Tango’s face scrunch for a moment, LED spinning a light blue ring as he thinks over the stone in his hands. Luckily he hasn’t noticed that there are a few prominent sets of teeth marks in the bottom half.
Can’t blame a guy for getting hungry.
Tango nods, seemingly satisfied.
Behind his shoulder, Etho twists a particularly long strand of hair around his finger as they unpack, fidgeting in a way that almost seems anxious. He drags his hand back after a moment, flattening his hair against his neck, combing through absently as he sorts through their collected items and puts them in proper order.
Bdubs watches him fidget for a long moment. The thoughts in his head bounce around like loose marbles.
Tango moves around them both and back to the place where he was moving cots and chests around. He backs himself against a particularly large double chest and shoves it sideways across the grass. Etho continues to quietly stack items into a chest. With his bag now empty, Bdubs picks himself up, and scoops up his bag. At the front door, he slings his newly sharpened axe over his shoulder.
Might as well get some wood while the day was still light.
At the fire, sleep tugging at the edge of his consciousness, Bdubs casts a tired glance over to Etho. He’s shrugged free from his coat, now draped over his knees as he sits at Bdubs’ left, leaning almost into his space. From this angle, Bdubs can see how Etho’s hair lies flat over the back of his neck, curls over the side of his face in frizzy strands. He reaches up almost absently to comb his fingers through it. Etho makes a small, startled noise. He raises his shoulders, but he’s not able to resist the tiny, pleased expression that slides onto his face as Bdubs keeps his hand on the back of his skull. He may not like the teasing, but the idea of Bdubs petting through his hair certainly seems to make him happy.
Which is why Bdubs sighs through his nose and draws his hand away.
“Etho,” Bdubs says, exasperation slipping into his tone unbidden. “C’mere and let me help you.”
“It’s fine,” Etho tries, more in discomfort than annoyance.
“Etho—” Bdubs argues. He pats the ground in front of him, legs splayed. Etho looks him up and down for a long moment, LED spinning, calculating.
“What’re you gonna do?” he asks.
“‘M not gonna cut it,” Bdubs sighs. “Just trust me, alright?”
Etho makes a noise halfway between a groan and a hum. He finally sinks to the ground beside Bdubs’ knee. Twisting around to put him between his legs, Bdubs shuffles forward on the grass. Between Etho and the fire in front of him, the air around them is warm, filled with the slight mechanical hum from Etho in front of him, the snap of the fire. Bdubs leans forward for a moment, resting his forehead against the nape of Etho’s neck. Etho laughs, one hand coming back to squeeze his knee.
“What,” he teases. “Was this your ulterior motive?”
“No,” Bdubs startles, peeling himself away. “No it wasn’t. This was just a nice moment.”
Etho giggles, squeezing his knee again. He draws his hand down Bdubs’ shin and to his ankle, where he keeps it there.
Carefully, Bdubs combs his fingers through Etho’s hair. It’s not any different than usual, besides the length. He keeps relatively good care of it, the ends are fine, it’s short enough not to reliably knot. Sifting his fingers through takes little effort on Bdubs’ part as he easily separates three sections out, twisting the hair between his fingers as he braids. Etho slumps forward a bit, shoulders rounding out, the base of his spine and lower ribs pressed into Bdubs’ space.
“I learned how to do this a long time ago,” Bdubs says absently as he works. He watches Etho’s LED spin again, and takes that as a sign that he’s still paying attention. “Had’ta use ropes since I didn’t know anyone with hair long enough to actually practice on. It’s easy to do a simple one when you’ve got the hang’ve it, though.”
“Are you expecting me to not ask you for help when I need it?” Etho says, amusement slipping into his tone. Bdubs pokes the back of his neck.
“I’m just sayin’,” he grumbles. “You don’t have’ta learn, I’m just tellin’ a story. Jeez, Etho.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Etho placates, still giggling. “Maybe I’ll learn as long as you teach me.”
Bdubs huffs out a laugh.
“Maybe,” he parrots. He curls his hair into the last section of the small, tight braid, hoping that force alone will keep it together just for a bit. As he lets go, Etho’s hand comes back to feel out the braid, smoothing the rest of his hair back behind his ears. With most of it tucked back, only the tufts of hair in the front spill into his eyes. When he turns back to Bdubs, a soft smile tugs at his face. Bdubs reaches on instinct to push his hair back, dragging his hand down his cheek as he pulls away. He pretends not to notice that Etho’s ears have gone slightly blue as he turns away from him.
“You like it?” Bdubs asks, voice coming uncharacteristically soft. Etho nods silently. “Good.”
Bdubs leans forward into Etho’s space, then, tucking himself against the strong curve of his back. He can feel, ever so slightly, the hum of his thirium pump, the heat that he gives off from all the moving equipment inside his chest. There, he lets out a soft sigh. Etho squeezes his ankle.
“You let me know if you need me to do it again, alright?” Bdubs asks. Etho lets out a long breath of air.
“I will,” he says, voice crackling ever so.
Good, Bdubs thinks. He likes the sound of that.
#ethubs#hermitshipping#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#wild life smp#wlsmp#dbhc#hermitcraft dbh au#dbhc etho#dbhc bdubs#fics#text#(incredibly out of tune) hhaaaaAAAaaapPYY biIIRRthhDAyyy--#jskfhdkjhdfgjkhdfgjk hii shep <333 happy birthday!!#we talked about this fic and i was gonna post it before#but got distracted. so now it's for your birthday LMAOO#what if dbhc ethubs could be so special to me#takes place around session 2!!#also hi tango!! tango mention!! yaaay!!#i like them a lot <3#something something divorced?? idk her#sorry i dont read it like that JKHSFKGJHFG#anyway. i hope you like them!!
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Do you know this queer character?
Dax is Queer and Genderfluid and uses varying pronouns based on presentation!
#this is so funny to me that somebody submitted like. just the symbiont. photo and everything#jazida at least is also in my submissions and will be posted separately because I read that when dax merges with someone#thats now a totally new entity#star trek lore is wild man idk i just work here#dax#star trek#star trek dax#star trek deep space nine#star trek deep space 9#deep space nine#deep space 9#st ds9#ds9#tumblr polls#fandom polls#poll#queer#genderfluid#varying pronouns#he/him#she/her#they/them#it/its#live action#lgbtqia#do you know this queer character
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He doesn’t understand. We aren’t convinced of anything. And we aren’t stuck together. We’re one. Decided to make some fanart of my interpretation of the wild together. Idk if you could tell, but the wild is my favorite princess, ha ha.
#slay the princess#slay the princess fanart#stp wild#slay the princess the wild#stp princess#stp fanart#digital art#procreate#sketchy style#I really like the wild route#I find a strange comfort in it#I just like the idea of two people who have been stuck fighting due to circumstances finally understanding and working together#The wild was one of my later routes in the game#At that point I was tired and it was nice to have some routes where the two were getting along/being romantic idk#Plus the idea of the two of them becoming/almost becoming the same was interesting#i hope you like it#I wanted to interpret the two being together like a warm hug :D#The line “I can hold us together so long as you trust me” is what inspired this idea#stp the long quiet#slay the princess the long quiet#black tabby games
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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what's fun about shipping Tim with Dick, Jason, or Damian is he has, at some point, hallucinated all of them to comfort himself. even when he doesn't like them or particularly get along with them, he has to imagine/hallucinate them just so he has the power to go on. Tim's concepts of the Robin mantle and what it should be is so fun, because he respects the others through the Robin mantle. Tim worships Dick because he was the first Robin. he wouldn't be Robin if Jason hadn't died in the mantle. and a lot of his frustration with Damian is he feels Damian isn't honoring the mantle correctly. when you ship Tim with the other Robins you can't divorce their identities as Robin from it because Tim will always see them as a Robin first and that's so fun and fucked up. like.
batman (1940) #456
Tim perceiving Dick as *Robin* cheering him on, not Nightwing, which is the version of Dick that Tim actually knows? that's just. wild of him. he will always view Dick as Robin first, his personal hero but also the original of the legacy. his love for Dick is shaped by that.
and then of course, even when he's hallucinating/imagining Jason cheering him on, it's *still* through the lense of being reminded how Jason failed? subconsciously believing that Jason got himself killed because of his actions, and that being a lesson for Tim to learn from? Jason isn't a person to Tim, he's a moral lesson about how to be Robin. any potential idolization he could have of Jason isn't because he loves Jason, it's because of the lessons Jason's death taught him.
and then, even though him hallucinating TIm is from the New-52, which makes characterization all kinds of questionable, i do think it makes sense for TIm to hallucinate/imagine Damian after Damian's death in an attempt to cope with it.
teen titans (2011) #18
to an extend, he sees Damian's death as in part his own fault. and even hating Damian, Tim needs the comfort from this to cope with Damian being gone. he's angry that Damian even was Robin, and has to learn something from Damian's death and how it impacts the Robin mantle, and teenage heroes as a whole. like, Tim can pretend he hates Damian all he wants, even getting taunted by the image of Damian, but there's still an underlying love to their relationship.
i think that's just the fun of shipping Tim with any of them. you will never divorce Tim's views of them from the Robin mantle and how fucking Unwell he is about anyone else who's been Robin before or after him, to the point he has to hallucinate them comforting him when he's at his lowest. it's always going to be a little unhealthy, a little toxic, and driven by Tim's relationship with being Robin as well. i need more Tim being weird about Robin in these ships.
#necrotic festerings#batcest#jaytim#dicktim#damitim#this post was first going to just be about tim hallucinating damian but i got carried away thinking about the identity crisis arc#have whatever this is.#idk if there's much of a thesis other than “tim's fucking weird about the robin mantle and that should extend to shipping too”#been meaning to post this for forever#finally got around to it though so yay me.#now i need to go work on my jaytim in the new-52 thoughts bc. i have a whole post planned.#a stack of comics next to me for research and everything. god help me.#ALSO while rereading to grab panels#why is it that everyone talks about how jason says “robin is magic” in an attempt to mischaracterize him as sunshine boy#and not the fact that tim *also* says robin is magic?#like it's not a jason thing. it's a robin mantle thing.#that's just what robin *is*. it doesn't say much about jason's character for him to say that when he's robin. it just means he's robin.#the robin mantle is magic. that's the point.#and you could argue that's more of a meta thing that exists on the wavelength of how children where supposed to project onto robin#moreso than an in-universe commentary on what the robin mantle is#(honestly the same argument applies to tim hallucinating here for like. meta intent vs in-universe meaning.)#i hesitate to even call it hallucination it's more like. daydreaming coping.#giving a face to his internal monologue type thing and this is just how the medium depicts it#also it was just sexy and cool for characters to hallucinate loved ones in the 90s in comics. it was a convention of the genre.#but still my point stands. tim pictures all of these ppl as robin first internally#and he self soothes using their image in his head. that's wild of him like what#tim you are weird about the robin mantle more than anyone else i give you that.
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