#like idk if some ppl really never knew what it was like to feel totally ruled by social pressure to be Normal or if they've just forgotten

[aeide-thea]

disjointed thoughts abt like. various anti-'normalization' takes i've seen and how actually i think like. expanding the range of things people are aware of & comfortable with is in fact often a helpful step towards becoming less dependent on the concept of normality to determine acceptability, because once you understand that normal isn't in fact a narrowly fixed range but is subjective and can be widened, it becomes a much softer yardstick & less of a bludgeon

[p0rk-guts]

waitt but what's different about your ocified velvette... i like her a little but find myself wanting more substance from her in canon tbh

TEEHEE WHAT A GOOD QUESTION I TOTALLY DIDN'T SET PPL UP TO ASK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay sew me and @ajistorpid were talking and they inspired a good chunk of my ideas so you can blame them for feeding my sick delusions.

Read more just like last time bc I talk too much sorry but there's art in there too oooo you should look u should read my ramblings

As far as I know, Velvette has no canon age at death, cause of death, or death date so based on what we know we just crafted our own headcanons. AJ proposed she might've had parents who ran one of those family vlog channels with her as the face of it, becoming a child influencer under her parents' control. I was thinking she could've been a child model- yk like. dance moms or something. Idk I don't remember what was happening on that show— anyways. Yea

Either way she grew up constantly controled and perfection was her standard. All of her outside thoughts and feelings and interests and opinions were constantly dismissed in favor of what made her more marketable. She never did get that popular in life tho, and her mentors always shamed and blamed her for it.

Idk if this is canon or not, but the idea of the sinners designs reflecting their vices or things they regreted or hated in life is an untapped gold mine to me so that could explain where Velvette's supposed doll and clown themes come from. Became a toy dressed up and paraded around for the entertainment of others + joke never taken seriously. She'd hate that

(As for how that ties into my redesign…. me and AJ were thinking she could be a vampire doll, but I'm not sure IDK I wanna sketch that out and see what it's giving)

In hell she easilly fell back into this warped facsimile of her old life bc it was all she knew. "she feels some form of pseudo control and enjoyment because she has no one pulling her strings now" (<-AJ) SHE'S running things!!! Who's the puppet now!!!!!!

Then THAT had me thinking too because now that I think about it. Why Is she the backbone of the V's?? She's like. An undergrad student in my mind at the MOST and Vox and Val are two men pushing 40 I'm sure. I think a big part of it is the fact that those two are almost complete and utter buffoons who let their emotions cloud their actions constantly, Valentino most obviously but even tho Vox seems more composed like when he's talking Val down from his outburst and when he was talking to the press, we can still see he's a total mess—especially where Alastor is concerned. He lost it so bad during their duet HE SHORTED PENTAGRAM CITY'S POWER.

Now out of all the V's we've seen the least of Velvette (I'd call it what it is but yall gon get real mad at me), The most we really got out of her character was the overlord meeting (and despite her huge ego and unruly behavior she did end up speaking facts), so maybe she Is just as unstable as them in canon but canon is SHIT and this isn't about canon anymore. In my mind she's very much in charge of the back end of their work. Vox is obviously the head of the operation—or at least he seems like it to me—what with the tech company having his name and with him answering the interviews, but I think that's all he is. The figure head. Velvette is the brain behind it all. When Vox proposes new buisness endeavors off the cuff she's the one who goes back and makes sure they're getting handled properly because he doesn't really dig into the backend of how things happen. Vox goes to most of the conferences or whatever (Vel's too busy running her shows and serving cunt after all) but Vel follows up on what was learned.

(also yeah all that makes this very much an au of an au bc it'd take a lot of radical changes for the two of them to be friends I think. It's fun to imagine anyway)

Quoting AJ here bc I'm bad at paraphrasing and they said it well:

"And if we're going to make her sympathetic, (obviously not excusing her enabling a rapist) Val and Vox are grown ass men and she never got to experience the world outside a camera

Velvette is easily malleable with no real relationships!! Some victims tend to gravitate towards people who are similar to their abusers the only exception is that she feels like she has control this time"

THIS this. THIS! Okay uhh vague personal experience w/ abuse cw ig. skip this paragraph if you don't wanna hear it. But It kinda reminds me of my relationship with my parents- NOT THAT I SEE THEM AS TWO DADS AND A DAUGHTER I DO NOT BELIEVE IN THAT NOTION IN A POST PILOT WORLD If future content proves me wrong it proves me wrong but at this moment they're all equals in my mind (…and I hc them as poly BUT WE'LL GET THERE) but In my situation it's like. I hate my parents for the abuse they've caused me, my mom more than my dad bc she's satan incarnate, but there are still things I like about my dad and. Tolerate. About my mother. We still can talk cordialy and spend time together, have fun together even, and I show affection to them, but deep down I know I wanna cut my mom off later and maybe my dad too depending. Additionally my mom is completely Incompatent and pulls none of her weight so despite it all I've been forced to pick up the slack and become half the brains of this family. I do chores she should take care of. Handle money. Make important decisions about our health and safety she doesn't care about.

AAAny ways. This is so my version of Velvette. No I'm not projecting (I am). She pulls a big chunk of the weight around there (some of it being carried by Vox and virtually none by Val). She's very close with the two of them but isn't a fan of everything they do (Cares more for Vox than Val in my mind). Speaking of, she definitely isn't some saint now, she still makes the love potions and is Impassive to both Val and Vox's behavior, but part of that Is her just seeing it as part of the business. Shady practices and exploitation are par for the course in any business to her. She never truly grew out of the harmful mindsets ingrained into her by whoever her enabling caretakers were in life and they're still apparent in hell. (Maybe she even experienced some of the darker sides of exploitation in life but was groomed into thinking it was okay contributing to why she doesn't see Valentino's actions as heinous. Idk. thinking on it)

Circling back to my poly V's idea. Idk it just seems plausible to me. Vox and Val already have their whole thing going on, they all live together, and they all have nicknames for each other (Vox calling her my dear, Val calling her baby doll, Vel calling Vox darling). Ik that could just be their personalities and the pet names don't have to mean anything more but this is MY au and my word is gospel hope this helps. It just makes sense

I could go on and ON about the toxic insanity of the Poly V's in my mind— particularly between Vox and Valentino— but this is NOT their post so maybe next time. As for Velvette, I get the vibe that she'd be intimate with both of them and enjoy it but she's never the one to initiate anything. Sometimes they're all like this 🤞🏾 and others the boys are a complete turn off to her (main example being the difference in her attitude towards Vox in episode 3 vs episode 8). Her tolerance of them flips on a dime depending on how they're acting. She also prefers to be a casually entertained observer to VoxVal more often then not (ex. end of episode 8 imo)

Boys aside. My Velvette is still a social media influencer and she's all about advertising. advertising products (like the love potion), clothing looks, technology... Heck even herself. "You're nobody if you don't wear this or use this or look like this ^ - ^". Projecting on her even further by making her have a love/hate relationship with her profession aka the modeling aspect of it: she's always had a genuine love for fashion and dressing up but the internal pressure for perfection she's placed on herself makes it hard for her. She's very hard on her models and designers bc of this

Couldn't think of a segway for this but also WHAT HAPPENED TO VELVETTE WANTING TO FIGHT THE ANGELS??? The "full assault plan" against the angels??? And then when the fight actually came they were all just lounging around watching it go down like it was afternoon tv????? This isn't even a "we'll get to it in season 2" thing did they honest to god forget? Did that line not mean anything??

Well I didn't forget and it's pissed me off since my first rewatch of that meeting scene. Don't think we don't know how the V's got the angel head, but In my head Velvette was the one who initially proposed the idea for an assault against heaven and her insatiable need to feel respected and feared only spurred this plan on, incredible risk be damned.

It also felt weird to me that Velvette just. Let it go when Carmilla said the meeting was over. Just. "Oh ok! Plan cancelled no more attacking heaven ^ - ^ I'm gonna go scroll for the rest of the show!" Hu h. My au-ified Velvette would definitely fight her on it— if she thought killing angels would change the game and Carmilla held the secrets behind it she would pry! Blow up at her about it until she wasn't getting results and bitterly storming off with as much composure as she could muster. Not wanting to team up with Carmilla but find some way to use her for all she was worth and get her way in the end, use the power and resources the V's had to actually make a plan. Would it have worked without the Morningstars? Eh. Either way I'm sure she could delude herself into thinking they were the most powerful people in hell. Ugh I don't wanna make an au rewrite of the show and I that was never my plan so idk where that'd go but. Yea

ANYWAYS anyways. wow you made it to the end somehow! Here's your treat :3

Context u didn't ask for: Some days Velvette overwhelms herself with her own impossible expectations. Nothing she creates or puts out is good enough. She gets extra anxious about her following; nothing's happened to them, but what if they see the miniscule flaw in her latest clothing that she sees? What if she's no longer perfect? (Even worse in the vamp Velvette redesign of her bc she literally feeds off their attention and admiration)

She'll snap at everyone and disapprove of every look and then hole herself away somewhere where she crashes and is just. So. Tired. But she'll be out of it the next day, ready to keep the conveyor rolling.

[bloody-wonder]

omg im the tsc anon, i literally sent it cause i knew from the past aftg opinions you shared - you'd likely feel similarly to the way i did about tsc

neil outshines jean to such a shocking degree when he only has a handful of scenes... neil is a fantastic protagonist so ofc it's hard to live up to, but come on 😭 jean has such a weaker personality imo? he does/says less interesting things, but also has a less interesting perspective on things. his lack of standing up for himself when the trojans badgered him constantly and talked behind his back bothered me to. can u imagine neils reaction if the foxes had been sharing his secrets over a group chat?

but just in general. tsc felt like a sanitised version of aftg, if that makes sense? scrubbed clean of the controversial and unconventional aspects. and it's those aspects that, in my opinion, played a huge part in what made aftg so good. noras a very talented writer, but i can not comprehend the decision to make tsc... all that it was, yknow? it feels almost like it was written for the 'andreil say ily' part of the fandom...

neil really saved this book for me icl. outsider pov of him is fascinating. and while andrew barely said/did anything even when he was there, i actually kinda liked that? it puts into perspective how ig off-putting andrew can appear to those who don't put in the effort with him. 'creepy little goalkeeper' is so funny and so accurate, he IS a creepy little goalkeeper and i love that for him.

idk, some things i had anticipated - the trojans being who they are were never going to match the foxes. jeremy x jean was never going to match andreil (and ive seen ppl comparing them already... the blasphemy.) but there were things i was surprised weren't there. i had expected kevin and jeans relationship to be a lot more tense ig? i had thought jean would harbor a MUCH deeper resentment towards kevin, but i suppose its just not his character? but when i was reading, i couldn't help asking what would the fan reaction had been if that had been the case? if kevin and jeans past relationship, and places in a cult hierarchy, had shown through in a much uglier and uncomfortable way? i can see why she didn't do that, i don't even necessarily want that, i think i was just desperate for this book to have some sort of deep conflict between the characters.

on the subject, kevin felt quite different from how he was in aftg. but i can't quite put my finger on why.

anyway, it is nice to see someone else have mixed feelings towards the book. i enjoyed it, but i was shocked how many people seemed to really love it. not because it was bad. but because, to me, it was so fundamentally different from aftg.

thank you for sharing your thoughts! i suspected you might have written me bc i used to be the resident notorious contrarian of the fandom lol

yeah neil is a textbook example of a protag who drives the plot forward, he has that main character energy which jean totally lacks which makes sense since jean was originally a minor side character. at the same time the differences in their characterization make complete sense in universe due to the different ways they were brought up and the different trauma they faced. so it all comes down to each reader's personal preference: for me, neil's arc is a self-indulgent power fantasy. i think i have a strong sense of self and when i can't achieve something it's due to circumstances so far out of my control it's impossible to overcome them. it's therefore very satisfying to read about neil facing impossible odds and winning thanks to the sheer force of his personality, whereas jean's way of dealing with trauma feels less fun by comparison. but other readers can relate to him more and all the power to them. i do however think tsc does a disservice to its new characters by opening with a rather lengthy recap of how cool the foxes were in the last act of tkm and closing on a chapter where neil comes along and reminds us who the real hero of this story is🤷‍♀️

i don't think tsc has been entirely scrubbed clean of controversial aspects - i saw plenty of reviews complaining about the amount of dark content (in book 4 of a series known for its dark content, le gasp) - but i do think the handling of certain things was less nuanced than in aftg. for instance, both stories have a plot bit about someone unknowingly exposing a character to their abuser which leads to them being retraumatized (jean himself comments on the similarities between drake and grayson). in aftg that someone is nicky - a person andrew knows and trusts, a person the readers grew to care about (lol not me but certainly some other readers) - so his role in the tragic sequence of events is that much more upsetting. rape and abuse is terrible but the fact that a person who means well can exacerbate the issues bc they don't have the framework to understand the other person - that hits so much harder for me personally. so in the end drake is just an evil rapist but nicky is a much more nuanced character bc through him nora questions whether being nice and having good intentions is enough, whose feelings should be centered on in such a complex situation, whose emotional needs should be prioritized etc. by contrast, in tsc that person is lucas - someone we basically just met, who is nothing more than an antagonistic stranger to jean and who we therefore don't care about. which is why when he leads grayson to jean it's like, first of all, duhh. but secondly, bc it happens against the backdrop of the other ("good") trojans' cheerfully patronizing attitude it doesn't come so much as a shocking twist that puts the ways how we deal with complex trauma into an unconventional perspective than as a culmination of everyone disrespecting jean's boundaries all the time - which is likely what nora intended but the overall constellation feels much less interesting to me.

ig this ties into your point about the book lacking the kind of deep conflict aftg had - but maybe that was intentional too, maybe it's supposed to be aftg light in that sense, sort of a post canon character study fic. which i am not opposed to, not everything has to be high plot and tension and grey morality, but unfortunately the emotional core the story relies on in the absence of the plot just didn't work for me. i can accept jean's "weaker" personality, i can understand him not being able to stand up for himself even tho i can't admire it, but i draw the line at how forced his friendship with jeremy and the girls ended up feeling. like, i still can't get over cat's sex toy joke right on the heels of jean being badgered into admitting he had been sexually abused - the info which jeremy promptly spilled to the girls. if something like that happened to me i would never be able to trust these people again, much less call them friends so soon. it's such a bizarre contrast between how neil joining the monsters in tfc despite their problematic initiation rituals feels valid bc the narrative earned it both plot-wise (we're now facing a bigger enemy together) and character-wise (neil pushing back, talking about why they did it, nicky apologizing) on the one hand - and how jean accepting jeremy, cat and laila as his new friends feels rushed and artificial despite them being so very nice and domestic and wholesome on the other hand. idk maybe it's bc i'm inherently skeptical about disingenuous cozy/hopepunk subgenres in modern lit bc they usually have a darker underbelly people are loath to confront but ngl the words sanitized and conventional did come to mind while reading and so did the idea that tsc will especially appeal to a certain subset of fans which found the (at times uncomfortable) complexity of the original trilogy too much to handle. well, i hope they're enjoying their fantasy of healing a survivor of cptsd by cooking and shopping and hugs - i certainly got to enjoy mine in aftg, there's plenty to go around lol

besides, tsc being so different/separate from aftg makes it really easy to just not engage with the fan content and discussions if it starts feeling like they veer into the annoying territory too much. tbh my primary concern when tsc was announced was that it could contain some retcons about andreil and aftg which i wouldn't agree with - and that didn't happen, my boys are still very much in character, so i can just retreat to my enclosure and leave tsc to jean stans who are its main target audience in any case.

[jackfrombaskinrobbins]

daredevil fam x teen!intern!reader [pt. 2]

CLICK HERE FOR PT. 1

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 1.5k

request: yes / no

original request: DYING over your matt post– i'm a sucker for casual family hcs with teen readers, it's always the cutest !! could i request something similar like the whole team (nelson, murdock, & page) taking care of an intern? just a teen who usually takes care of filing ends up wandering into the whole found family dynamic they have set up? thanks !

dynamic: daredevil fam (nelson murdock & page) x teen!intern!reader

characters: reader, matt murdock, foggy nelson, karen page

a/n: hiii tysm for this request!!! i love found family hc's too -- especially with daredevil bc i feel like i haven't seen many :( if y'all ever have more daredevil requests like this i would be more than happy to write them!!

taglist: @nutellani @thecloudedmind

(fill out this form if you'd like to be on my taglist!!)

-----------------------✰----------------------

in fact, you got up the next day actually excited to go

like yk in 500 days of summer when he’s like skipping around and like ppl are dancing and he’s smiling

you felt that level of happy

and then you got a text 

“hey y/n it’s foggy 🌫️🌫️lol (LAUGH OUT LOUD) get it? it’s fog!!🌫️🌫️🌫️🌫️ anyways, we (karen and matt and i ofc (OF COURSE) ) have to go out on a case today 🏛️🏛️it’s kind of interesting 🕵🕵 i’ll tell you about it l8r (LATER) ⌚⌚the door should be unlocked 🚪🚪 so you can still get in 👍👍 we shouldn’t be gone for long, have fun & be good 🥳🥳”

(i love writing foggy’s texts in case u can’t tell)

GUYS I JUST REALIZED THAT IF YOU REARRANGE THE LETTERS IN “FOGGY” YOU CAN KIND OF SPELL GOOFY

like “ggofy”

so that’s ur new contact name for him 

anyways so you got to the building

and the door was LOCKED

like totally locked

and you tried like five times

so you decided to call karen

but it went to voicemail obvi 

bc they were busy w a case

but u actually got a text back pretty quick

“you got locked out?? i KNEW we forgot something… how about you come down to the station? there’s plenty of places to sit.”

so you did!!

karen was waiting for you when you got there, and they even let you sit in on the conversation they were having

it was kinda intense but honestly rly cool to see what being a lawyer was actually like

so that took like an hour or two

but then they were finally done.

“you hungry y/n? we were going to go to lunch. there’s this place right down the street from the firm that’s really good.” matt said.

“sounds great!!” you replied, grateful that he had suggested it

and so that’s how you found yourself at josie’s in the middle of the day, laughing harder than you ever had before and having a chicken wing eating contest with foggy and some random regulars

josie was so nice too, like she seemed to love you from the moment you came in

and the wings she made smelled so good

so then one of the guys who was at the bar (kinda drunk lowkey but like fun drunk???)

he pointed at foggy and he was like 

“i bet i could eat more wings than you.”

and you were like “uhhh i kind of doubt that bc i saw him eat his lunch yesterday and he’s like an animal with that stuff”

which was a lie you actually had no idea if he could or not

and matt was literally about to spit out his coke he was laughing so hard

“oh yeah?” he asked

imagine that villan eyebrow raise

“well then. looks like we have ourselves a competition!!”

and so then you got to sit at the bar with foggy, the man (whose name was marv btw) and another guy named brian

idk

and y’all ATE

figuratively AND literally

karen was so proud of you

she was cheering so loud

and again, matt’s coke was gonna go through his nose he was still laughing

long story short you won

ofc

duh

and marv was so funny he was like “well done… you might not beat me next time.”

and josie was like “ok marv”

anyways you were grinning from ear to ear. 

you had never been happier

as you were walking back to the office, you decided to tell karen, matt, and foggy about how the people at school made fun of you when they found out where your placement was

and like how it had made u feel really bad at first but that you were so happy it turned out alright

BETTER than alright

“hey, kid. we DO have more fun!!” said foggy, clapping a hand on your shoulder.

“yeah. i know the type that would say stuff like that.” karen replied, making a twisted up face that made you laugh.

“you know you can come here anytime. even when you’re not technically scheduled!!” she said.

“it’s nice to have a fourth person around the office. someone with more sense than these two knuckleheads.” matt grinned. “who knows? maybe one day it’ll be y/l/n, nelson, murdock, and page!!”

“yeah, you can inherit it from us when we’re old!!” foggy said, enthusiastically nodding

“aw, you already are old!” you said, and karen laughed

and that’s when you knew you were right where you belonged :)

-----------------------✰----------------------

[just-a-carrot]

okookookkokoko WHERE DO I EVEN START. I LOVE THIS GAME SM SMH BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPLAINING STUFF SO TAKE THIS SHORT PASSAGE. (Most of this will be an unorganized ramble btw)

(SPOILER WARNING FOR MOST ARCS)

I played T2A2G and OC before this so um. Guess which route I did lmao. SPEAKING OF ROUTES, GENZOU GENZOU GEZNOU GEZNOU GEZNOU OMG GENZOU. I RELATE TO THIS MAN IN WAYS I DID NOT KNOW I COULD RELATE TO A CHARACTER. LIKE WTH?? HE HAS SUCH A TRANSPARENT CLOSET LOL. And also speaking of Genzou I do have a few questions related to him

-Is Genzou fully blind? I don't think he is bc of his cane but I heard it's different in some countries so idk

-We learn Genzou is (supposedly) taking antidepressants in Arc 2. Is he clinically depressed? (According to the Visual Noval Database he is anyways but idk)

-HOW TF DOES HE DEAL WITH BEING CANNIBALIZED TWICE LIKE DAMN..I WOULD HAVE A BREAKDOWN NO MATTER WHO I'M WITH??

-Did Genzou's friends ever like assume that he was gay?? Or like did he tell anyone?? Or did he try his best to hide it lmao

-Did anyone think/know that Gen had a crush on Iggy??

-GENZOU WITHOUT HIS HAT <333

I love Genzou sm if you couldn't tell already /p

ARC 3 CONFUSED ME SM LOL. I thought that I had accidently switched routes (even though I hadn't even made my LI choice, I ofc didn't know this atm though) from Genzou to Orlam and I was fr so confused like waht. Also like I feel so bad for Orlam wth </3.

HUMAN JERRY.

OO ALSO SOME MORE THINGS

-During some parts (mostly during arcs 3/4) I HAD TO PLAY A RELAXING PLAYLISTS BECASE I FELT OVERWHELMED/ANXIOUS/IDEK?? AND AT SOME POINT I JS GAVE UP AND STATED PLAYING HYPERCORE LMAO

-I LOV ELOVE LOVE THE WAY THAT THE NEUTRAL ENDING COLLIDES(???) WITH OC LIEK WHATWHDWATDHFWHWFTHAFG. IDK BUT FOR ME IT MAKES ME FEEL LIEK IT'S THE MORE "CANON" ENDING EVEN THOUGH THERE IS (probably) NO CANON ENDING.

-I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE GALLERY LIEK OMG??

-Some of my favorite liens in the game were the homicidal gardener lines (both referring to Iggs and Gen), when Gen was arguing with Jerry, When Genzou was telling iggs during the Arc 5 Kiddie Cruise scene that it shoudn't be a choice like I WAS GONNA CHOOSE DONT JUMP JS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS LOL

-I also relate a lot to Iggy in some forms

-GIDGET.

-I took a total of 260 screenshots of this game (as of now heheh)

UM YH THATS ALL SORRY IF IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND OR TOO ENERGETIC BUT I TRULY LOVE THIS GAME SM. Ima go replay OC again byes <3 :3 BEST REGARDS ILYSM /p

KDFJLADFA this message is so chaotic, i love it

first off, i'm really happy you like the game (and genzou) weep. thank you so much for all the kind words 😭💕 i'm also always super intrigued to see where/how ppl came into the game, so hearing you played T2A2G and OC first is very interesting to me lakdjfkdjfa

regarding your questions:

yes he is; i do think he sees a bit of light/shadow (which is different to an answer i gave some time ago, but i've been thinking about it since) but that's about it; it's a result of traumatic optic neuropathy

yes he is; he's been on meds and seeing a therapist for a while

i cannot answer this question LOL 🤣 i also don't know. i guess the only answer is that he has no choice

mmm... he never outright told anyone in the friend group. tbh he doesn't outright tell many people, mostly as he's just a bit of a private person in that regard and keeps to himself outside of attempting dating apps every now and then. i would not say he actively attempted to hide it though aside from around iggy. as for other people assuming i think it was something many of them did kinda realize but never said anything also

similar here, i think some of them kinda knew. i think gidget knew, even if they kinda ignored it, because it prompted their jealousy on a few occasions. i think orlam had a bit of a guess but it wasn't really confirmed until later

LDKAJFSLDKFA THAT'S NOT A QUESTION

LOL about the routes. indeed, if you don't realize that actually all the "routes" are mandatory parts of the story until the finale then it can be confusing if you thought you were going for a specific char early on or something 🤣 it's not like the games where you can pick your route and then the rest of the game is that route

hahaha yeah i wouldn't say there's a "canon" ending. for one, i feel like that would kinda defeat the point of having different possibilities to begin with. why make other choices if there's only ever one canon ending? i want people to be able to choose however they want the story to end. i mostly connected the neutral ending to OC as a sort of self-indulgent gift to myself, because i thought it would be very sweet if iggy would still have a chance to find companionship with one of his friends later on even if he chose to focus on himself first. like that it just keeps it open. i also just thought it'd be a fun easter egg to give ppl more incentive to at least try the neutral route as i figure most ppl would not choose that route as it's kinda short compared to the others and doesn't give as much closure to the other chars

260 SCREENSHOTS LDKJFASDLFA

sob thank you for this lovely message!! it was really fun answering your questions hahaha and i'm really glad you liked the game so much!! it means a lot!! 💕

[tirfpikachu]

vague trauma mentions cw also just super lengthy lol ;;

ok not to be cptsd and scarred from my mainstream tra days but when friends who genuinely know me flaws and all, and know my Dark Evil Views and everything, when they go out of their way to laugh with me and be nice to me...... it lowkey makes me want to freaking run away and cry under a pile of blankets for a solid 3 hours. like, holy shit..... i just get so emotional. i just Do Not Know What To Do With It All........... what do i even do with the knowledge that ppl see me, ME of all people, someone who fucked up so many times in spectacularly humiliating ways, someone who was hated so much throughout her childhood & teen years by her peers...... me as in my AUTHENTIC self not even my usual mask...... when they see me, the real me, and choose to go against everything the universe has taught me growing up and actually indulge me and choose to spend time with me and care for me and just.... wow. just. caring. about me. lowkey crying a bit rn. oof ouch. but in a very nice way. but also scary. genuine platonic love is so scary to my traumatized brain. being myself is so scary but i'm doing it so much lately. it's starting to feel so natural and it's becoming really hard to mask my true self at all. i keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, for friends to be disgusted by me or learn things abt me that makes them hate me, but it's just not happening so far and it's blowing my marbles rn. life is so crazy. i never thought this would ever happen. like this is really my life???!?!

i lost some very important friends a while back, some of my very first irl adult friends, bc i believed in female/afab-specific activism being needed and that exclusive same-sex/agab attraction is a wonderful sexuality that isn't a threat to trans rights. it was like suddenly my world was flipped upside down and my ex had gone behind my back and tarnished my name. but thankfully by then, i had my radfem friends... if i hadn't... it would've absolutely wrecked me. it would have utterly destroyed my mental health for a solid few months. but with my pokegyns & followers i felt so understood, so seen, and i knew i wasn't crazy. i didn't let them brainwash me into apologizing and taking back my totally normie "extremist" views. it's all thanks to you gyns. idk where i would be without radblr, especially tirfy/nuanced radblr. i'm still so weirded out that so many folks r so kind and patient w me and just seem to genuinely like being around me and talking to me. it's WEIRD!!!!!!! y'all shouldn't be doing it AND YET i can't even stop you......... i'm super duper unbelievably incredibly grateful ofc i absolutely adore you gyns but holy shit i am NOT used to it and my cptsd brain is still in shock and idk what to do w all this love!!!

[yooniesim]

Hii! Not to sound dumb but idk somehow I wasn’t aware of like the details behind that creator maybe it’s bc I joined simblr kinda late. I’m not trying to jump on some bandwagon. I just wanted to ask if you knew of any other creators who make similar content (like hair). Having known all this now I’m not sure even pirating his content would be okay? I don’t want to seem like that I think that behavior is okay by like downloading from him anymore. Also if not that’s totally okay, and I hope you’re doing okay! 💜

Hi nonny! I'm not sure off the top of my head of any similar hairs, I never really used their content since it was pretty poorly made poly & texture wise. But as fair as straight hairs go, I tend to use johnnysimmer and daylifesims a lot for my male sims especially. Maybe daylifesims especially could be similar?

As for using content from certain creators, I usually don't care about what ppl use in their personal games if they're not like, promoting them in like lookbooks and stuff. It's not going to hurt anything to use cc in your game. For example, I'm pretty anti-paywall in terms of promotion & I'm trying to cut down to just free creators, but I still use some (like the two I recommended above lol). But me personally, I just feel icky with having some creators' cc sometimes, ya know? There's quite a few I've purged for various reasons & don't even want for free.

It does slightly disgust me to see this person promoted or recommended, because I know what they've done, and bc of their lack of respect and blatant victim blaming they ping some unpleasant memories now- but that's more a personal problem than the fault of others. I would never see someone using their cc and think that they were disgusting or condoning that sort of thing, chances are they don't even know. I may wind up blocking someone if they promote a LOT or seem to be close friends, just to protect my own peace, but I'm not gonna judge the average person for having a hair in their game haha.

(Also, I don't blame you at all for not knowing- not a lot of people are talking about it. Maybe because it's a lot heavier content and a tougher subject than, say, ai or paywalls. Maybe it's easier & more comfortable to just ignore it than to show support, I don't know. But such is simblr, I've come to expect that lol. Thank you for your kind wishes 💜)

[thetonethetollandthethunder]

Scythe chapter 16-20!!

Ayy we’re backk!! Let’s just get started shall we?

Chapter 16!!

-oh god the elegy—

-“Could you imagine me as a teenager?” OH YES I CAN OHOHO

-This also shows how much power scythes and especially Goddard has

-And also shows how bad of a scythe Goddard is as well

-Scythe Curie makes a good point that also relates to the toll, in which it doesn’t matter if they kill Goddard or anyone like him because another with the same ideology will always come along without fail

-this chapter didn’t have much but it IS good so ykyk

Chapter 17!!

-OHHH ITS THE MOMENT THAT EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MINDS OVER!! SCYTHE FARADAY IS D-D-DEAD or is he? :) :)

-Rowan instinctively trying to protect Citra!!!

-it makes sense for most disabilities to be nonexistent but that doesn’t mean I have to like it :/ like idk why the way it’s done is just :// especially as a disabled person myself

-The way the describe Faraday’d death is already suspicious if you already know he isn’t dead but when you’re first reading it, it does make sense!

-OH AND THE SEPARATE TRAININGS BEGINS!!!

-“If I ever take on an apprentice it will be for a different reason entirely.” OHOHO I KNOW I KNOWWWW

-Again not much to say BUT still rlly good!!

Chapter 18!!!

-Part 3 begins!!

-SCYTHE CURIE!!

-Again I always forget the names of these places, falling water is a very pretty name!!

-Citra being angry about Faraday’s death OUGH, she’s rlly going through 5 stages of grieve style

-Could you imagine ppl in the future calling our decor and shit old fashioned? Bizarre

-I love how they make Curie instantly charming and likable with only a few scenes, good writing man!!

-What hobbies would other scythes have? I wonder…

-Fun fact, i cannot drive, tried to learn and crashed the car, oh how I wish driving wasn’t necessary like in scythe

-Giving us little notes about the comfort scythes can give

-We hear a lot about being stagnant in the Scythe universe, and like, yeah, if you were in this utopia wouldn’t you grow stagnant even quicker than most? You have nothing to do literally

-You can really feel how observant Curie is, she noticed the small details

-Jesus even Curie’s yelling scared ME and I already knew what was gonna happen! She’s rlly intimidating—

-Gotta uphold your image!!

-“Another Scythe might have exacted a punishment far worse.” *COUGH COUGH GODDARD*

-Again shit names!! Barton Breen??? What??

-20 kids,, Jesus,,

-You can Curie’s own version of compassion, it’s different from Faradays yet still wonderful

-She did find her own way of gleaning!!

-Again FUCK Goddard!!

-I do wonder what would happen if Citra was trained by Goddard instead of Rowan…

-“Immortality has turned us all into cartoons.” GOD THAT LINEE

-Amazing chapter!! Told a LOT abt Curie!!!

CHAPTER 19!!!!

-Oo!! I thought this moment happened in Thunderhead but I misremembered!!

-Tho I THINK something similar happens??? Idk maybe my memory is fuckin with me ushejdj

-ALSO DAMN CITRA!! Pushin girls in front of TRUCKS holy fuck!!!

-Hate the eating descriptions!!

-TELL THE MOTHER YOU TWO!!! LIKE CMON??

-Cindy lmaoo, whenever someone whitewashes Citra im gonna call it Cindy instead <3 spite

-“err on the side of respect.” LMAO love that line

-RONDA ROADKILL IM DYINGGGGGG and so did she! (Temporarily but yk)

-“Can i throw you under a truck some other time?” She’s a busy person! I’d totally throw Citra under a truck! Would be fun!

-Morals change when theres little consequences, Citra would never even CONSIDER pushing Ronda in the mortal age, but since people can just come back it doesn’t seem like such a bad thing, it also shows how the concept of empathy and morality has changed in this society

-“the cloud” like icloud! Guess apple won in this world!

-“The machine had a purer soul than any human” NO IT DOESNT IVE SEEN AI ART YOU CANT FOOL ME!!!

-FUCK YOU SCYTHE GODDARD!!!

-OO TIME FOR CITRA TO INVESTIGATE!! I remember LOVING this plot so!!!!

Chapter 20!!

-Rowan finally!!! I missed you!!!!!

-He doesn’t wanna kill Citra!!! The beginning of his devotion to her UGHHH

-god hes only 17, I think we forgot how young these characters are, they really are just kids being pushed into this horrible situation god,,,

-“His was a life without substance, and now it would end.” God and here we see Rowan’s iconic self deprecating “emo” moments, people make fun of these scenes a lot but I fucking love em, it really contrasts Rowan and Citra. Citra has people who love and care about her, Rowan doesn’t, he knows that (in this moment) if he died no one would really care or remember him, so when he finds Citra, someone who does care about him and would care if he died, he clings to it. I mean when you’re that neglected and want SOMEONE to care even a little about you, wouldn’t you do the same thing?

-He already wants to change things!! And he will!! He will change a lot, though not as much as his girlfriend!!

-VOLTA!!

-“So is there a reason why you choose your robes to be the color of piss?” HA one of my favorite lines!!

-“the Change” god their ideology—, the fact they’re all thinking that they’re changing things for the better really shows how convincing of a man Goddard is, GOD i hate him!!!

-Ans here we have Goddard’s MANY parties

-my sensory issues would hate this

-I accidentally spelled Goddard’s name as Goodard which…Isn’t that so Ironic?

-“Bimbotech” Neal I’m BEGGING you to stop

-“Rowan wondered if the man had a diamond-studded bathing suit in his waredrobe as well.” He would because he’s a vain prick!!

-HES UNDERAGE STOP GIVING HIM ALCOHOL!! *Looking at you RAND especially ya creep—*

-“He was lucky if they even remembered to get him a gift” rowans parents man,,, He was really fucking neglected man it’s so awful, and the fact he still cares about them despite that GODDD

-See how goddard bend the rules? See how he twists them to make them fit what HE wants? Yeah, he’s gonna do that a lot; again, fuck you Goddard

-ESME!!! Shes backk!! And he’s right! She’ll be important!!

-GOD this is a good chapter, rowan my beloved!!

And that’s it!!! Next time will be chapters 21-25!! We’re going so fast aren’t we?

[pacifistcowboy]

You've been posting about how you're experiencing your first crush and are kinda freaking out about it and I just want to say that how you're reacting is understandable and reasonable. This is your first crush, you're experiencing something new alot later than expected and from the sounds of it, it isn't exactly a small one either so it's alot of new experiences at once so it can be overwhelming. Once the initial surprise wears off then you can start working out your feelings better.

(you’re not required to read all this btw dndjejf)

thank you 🥹🥹🥹 hilariously, i’ve actually been in a romantic relationship before, so this technically shouldn’t be my first crush, but that relationship was when i was twelve and we met n started dating completely online over text, and when we met up in person my feelings for them went away and we never acted couple-y irl shxhshfhefh.

then there was the guy who joined my class in secondary school and became my friend, then i think he accidentally became my special interest which was really unpleasant ‘cus i became obsessed with an actual guy i knew personally. i told him how i felt n he didn’t reciprocate but he was okay with remaining friends which was great! it was weird tho ‘cus i never wanted to like kiss him or anything, i just wanted to be around him all the time and like, be his best friend but a more official title? idk. he went back to america but the last time he visited i got to confirm my feelings for him were completely gone, now i just find him to b a good friend :]

but now there’s this fucker. and everything’s different.

i think the thing is that when we first interacted i got the vibe that he might’ve liked me even before i liked him so it wasn’t just wishful thinking, so i guess i felt like this wasn’t one-sided so i kinda let my feelings run wild?? but idk now. the first time we interacted he told me he doesn’t like touching people, but for some reason i was an exception, and for a while i was the only person he seemed to touch via like handshaking, grabbin’ my shoulder, puttin’ an arm around me, and the weirdest part was that i like it!! i typically don’t like being touched by ppl i barely know, but from the first day we met i didn’t mind him touching me, it’s bizarre. ANYWAY he touches our other friends too now n i feel less special n also worry that i totally misread the vibes from the first day enejfjehfh.

oh yeah my point was he was so touchy with me before i even got the crush on him, so i’m way more open to the thought of typical romantic-y physical affection with this guy than i have ever been with anyone. like. i wanna cuddle and hold hands and hmaybekiss??????? i’ve never felt like that with someone. i wanted to be near the guy from secondary school but i never wanted to ki s s someone before.

and i want to be his boyfriend. like for sure. with the last guy i didn’t know what i wanted with him, but i want to be this guy’s boyfriend. i want him to be my boyfriend. it’s nuts.

luckily this crush is causing me way less anxiety than the last one did tho! i’m kinda just always excited to see him n honestly feel like i could potentially get brave enough to tell him how i feel, even if it’s just so he can reject me and i can nip this in the bud lol. i just had no idea i was capable of feeling this way towards someone, i was pretty sure i was aromantic for a while! thank u for the reassurance, it’s a wild ride that hopefully calms down soon :]

[totheblood]

Hey, I don't know if you saw my first message, but I really am sorry if I offended you or made you feel pressured to post. I meant no harm. You're one of my favorite writers and I would never want to make anyone feel pressured to do anything.Thanks for sharing your writing its amazing💕

hey, it’s totally okay baby ik what u meant… like i knew it was lighthearted with no ill intent but i def don’t want people getting rude with me cause idk ive been on the internet a while and its a thin line that some ppl dont know how to NOT cross but i love u and i appreciate this and u sm

[pixiestickers]

I was tagged by @theangrypomeranian Thanks!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3: 52

2. What's your total word count? 813,389

3. What fandoms do you write for?

atm it's Hunter x Hunter with wips in Over the Garden Wall, Futurama, and Lord of the Rings. I got my start writing Twilight fanfic on fanfiction.net and occasionally write for Star Wars when the mood is right. There are past fandoms, but I don't feel like naming them all.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos:

Okay, there is a problem. Two of my fics that are in my top 5 are also like ptsd for me from a bad fandom, so I am leaving them off this list despite their high kudo count. Right now I have them viewable only to AO3 users and you can't comment on them bc I just don't want to be reminded of them, but also am not strong enough to take them down. So anyway ... here's my edited top 5.

Blame it on the Nargles (Harry Potter)

If You're Lonely, Press Play (Over the Garden Wall)

The One With The Slaps (Friends)

Change Heartache Into Courage (Twilight)

The L Word (Twilight)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to unless the comment is kinda unhinged. I once had a really nice comment that switched gears midway thru to start in on a campaign to save the show my fic was based on getting nasty abt the network that canceled it and it just went off the rails, so in my head I was like thank u for that nice beginning but I'm just gonna walk slowly backwards away from this.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Even my saddest fics have some sort of silver lining. I don't like leaving my characters suffering w/o any hope. So probably the AU I wrote to my own otgw canon where I kill Beatrice off (Not) A Happy Story is the angstiest, but there's some hope by the end.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

idk I'm kind of partial to the ending of my iasip fic My Fair Charlie bc these are two characters who have been thru a lot in their lives and the scene in Charlie's room where he shows Dee his memory box is just sorta cute and innocent and gives me feelings.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

In the fandom that shall not be named, I got some. I never got any hate when I originally wrote for Twilight on ff.net but when I updated my fic from there to AO3 I got some.

9. Do you write smut?

Not really no. A handful of times and it's just sorta okay. I'm more of a write an intense lead-up and then fade to black writer. I'll leave the smut to ppl who can actually write it well (ie not me).

10. Do you write crossovers?

No

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes! It was so weird. There was another Twilight fic that I was writing that I had let sit for a few years and then someone messaged me that it had been stolen, the names changed and put on some anime fanfic website. The person knew bc the name Jasper kept popping up in that person's fic when there was no character named Jasper. They thought that was weird so they googled a portion of the fic and mine came up. Anways, I messaged the site, but who knows if they did anything abt it and anyway, I took that particular fic down since I'm not in the fandom anymore and won't ever finish it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

My Twilight fic 'Change Heartache Into Courage' has been translated a few times.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No. I'm a lone wolf.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

I mean it changes all the time, but I suppose if you want to know the couple that has the highest word count from me since this is a fanfic meme then that would be Wirt and Beatrice.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I have a 38k 'Dragon Prince' fic that's been sitting since 2021. I'm not in the fandom anymore and got rid of Netflix, so even if I wanted to write my ability to watch the show is hindered. Still, I like the character development I wrote and maybe one day in the future I'll work on it again, but as of now, it's probably going to sit collecting dust for a v long time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Long inner monologues and flirty, fluffy banter

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action, smut, and moving plot forward. I just want these characters to talk, not actually get anything done.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

Haven't done it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Created a gender-swapped Aladdin AU when I was 13. Wrote 'Hey Arnold' fic in a HA forum in my teens. Posted my first "official" fanfic (Twilight) to livejournal when I was 28 then moved it over the ff.net midway thru the year and a half it took me to write it.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

A Perfect Sonnet bc even tho it's like 8 fics deep into my iylpp universe, I worked really hard to world-build and make it more high fantasy than fluffy slice-of-life stuff like I usually did for them. I'm not sure if I succeeded but I am proud of the effort I made.

I am trying to remember my mutuals who also write fic. Most are barely on tumblr anymore, but I'll tag who I can remember: @justme--emily @trashangel-dee @221bdisneystreet @america-oreosandkitkats @spectraling

[noblechaton]

so ultimately I really enjoyed season 5 as a whole and think it might be my new favorite season of ml in general since most episode were bangers and the finale eps weren't really any different lmao

but there's two elements that - like other folks I've seen - are kinda bugging me and bog it down a good bit I feel and I kinda wanna ramble about em. ml spoilers below (no salt tho I am complaining somewhat)

the first thing was something I'd caught a glimpse of just before I passed out last night thanks to some lovely blogging from a few mutuals and that I caught onto midway thru the second part of the finale and that is of course the weird attempt at seemingly redeeming? Gabriel in some capacity

now of course he's not at all redeemed to us, the audience, and it doesn't feel like a redemption so much as like. absolving him? but either way like....why at all? 5 seasons (2 specials and a video game too) across like 8 years I feel sorta showed that the guy legit could not be redeemed, especially S5 itself with multiple instances of him doing just. unforgivably heinous things to everyone including that son of his he kept talking about protecting and like for a time in the show maybe I could have seen that path where he was genuinely doing this to improve Adrien's life but that was tossed a long time ago lmao, he's actively tormented Adrien more than anything and that's without factoring in his beatings of Chat Noir, threats towards Marinette, etc.

Gabriel sacrificing himself at the end was something I sorta always knew was coming bc nothing else really made sense. no way he'd go to jail, he couldn't just be absolved of all he'd done and there was no real other option and yet they tried to absolve him anyway?? not to mention how little sense I feel it makes for Adrien to believe this in the least after even just the last few episodes, let alone the season and then some

Paris in general treating Gabriel like a hero sucks - most of the class at least should know better - and while I think there's a chance it'll lead to some juicy drama between Marinette knowing the truth and Lila knowing what she knows, one of them feels bound to take it to Adrien, I'm concerned it'll just be a flat point never to be addressed again

now I've often felt the show is more clever than ppl give it credit for but idk. something about it just feels weird and wrong and not just bc of what it is on the surface - Marinette building a lie into her relationship with Adrien is fascinating and it should absolutely come up in the future, but I'm worried it won't

and the reason I'm worried is bc of how Adrien was handled in the finale - in that he wasn't really handled at all

I understand that the story had him locked up in a cube, I get that he was purposefully tossed aside by that same father he supposedly believes is heroic now but like....why did we get nothing from him past him forfeiting the ring? why did he give up so easily? why was he a total nonentity in the finale of what is, essentially, his arc? in this story that has the most bearing on Adrien, Adrien himself was just....gone for most of it, arguably all of it

I feel like it flies counter to a lot of what the show's been doing especially lately with him in how Adrien is basically stripped of any and all agency by the end of the finale and honestly I hate it lol. him having no say on anything, no knowledge of anything or any real reaction to....anything that happened. we don't see him really react to the lie of what his father did, to Nathalie being returned to health or to the mysterious blonde woman at the pool who may or may not be his actual mom (the storyboards and deleted scene apparently confirm it was, at least, at some point), we don't even see him get his ring back. like I wasn't expecting a reveal at this point - I don't think we're gonna get one tbh - but....nothing??

which is part of why I feel the stuff at the end with him and Marinette in the garden - while very nice and cathartic after 8 years of watching - felt so off, almost hollow. Adrien didn't really get to be a character in the finale and just sort of reappears to finally kiss Marinette again? that's it? he's all smiles and sunshine again after being genuinely, undeniably tortured by his father that he again somehow believes is heroic in some manner? huh??

I think I'd feel better about things if we at least got his reaction to things - if he somehow rolled up on his destroyed house or found Nathalie walking around under her own power or w/e but there's just nothing. like he's an action figure that got lost under the bed for a bit. and again there's a chance we get some of that next season but like, not only do I think we shouldn't have to but I also see it as less likely than the Gabe stuff proving to be a plotline since that feels much more like a lingering presence that sorta needs to be dealt with and honestly Tomoe needs to be dealt with too idk how Kagami could ever go back to her after this

which really has me excited about season 6 more than I was - I admittedly kinda groaned when they revealed there'd be more seasons since I knew about the 5 season arc (especially since main villain Lila did not interest me in the least at the time lol, and still kinda doesn't tbh) but if I'd sorta softened on the decision across the last few years, I've fully turned around with this - so long as they address some of this stuff going forward at least bc I feel like if nothing else there's some really juicy drama and story potential in the Gabriel lie coming undone

ultimately again I loved this season and felt the finale was appropriately crazy - the kwamis in their ultimate forms, Gimmi's appearance, Bug Noir and the fight across the mansion, it all worked really well imo and there was a lot of payoff still in the finale even if I feel they didn't really stick the landing with a couple of rough edges and odds and ends hanging out

I also wanna say that I kinda like the ideas I've seen floating around about how the epilogue might not be what it seems - that Gabriel's wish wasn't so pure in nature, it kinda fits him to warp reality in just such a way after all but idk if that's what's going on here for sure yet. think it'd make a really cool twist if that evil AU special thingy came straight off of this tho, or if we got midway thru S6 and it's like, oh dang we're living a total fabrication!! I love stuff like that lol

also also ngl I am not excited about the whole team being back at all in any capacity lol. think a smaller team - which would now be Ladybug, Chat, Carapace, Rena, Ryuko and Argos maybe - just works better

also also also - addendum that ties into the Adrien stuff - it feels really weird that Chat Noir wasn't present at all during Monarch's defeat right? like. idk that just doesn't sit well with me, like he should have had some impact there, some role. maybe he could have broken out and given Ladybug the ring himself (albeit in a mask or something) or done literally anything. idk. really weird

[loisfreakinglane]

Do you have any ship regrets? Like a ship you were ALL IN on, but then dropped - be it because the source material didn't treat them right, their fandom annoyed you, the actors ended up being trash, etc.?

oh TOTALLY. YES. a lot of these i have not revisited in years so we're operating off of vague recollections here, BUT HERE'S A LIST OF SEVERAL OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD. not a comprehensive list but a ramble i'm sorry

clay/gemma on sons of anarchy. i love villainous marrieds and complicated ships, but. then he beat the shit out of her. idk idk i'm just left with a lot of mixed feelings here. clearly i can under other circumstances move beyond this kind of shitty occurence (it took me a long time to get past ep 5 of iwtv bc of this) but i never quite got over this with clay/gemma. when they were good tho they were AMAZING. i love an evil king and queen. but ya kno. yikes

max/murphy on in the dark. the second i was given leslie/max i was so immediately VIBIN i realized that like. i'd never REALLY loved max/murphy. i'd just been shipping what was in front of me, being super into casey deidrick, and brushing off a lot of the bad vibes i felt about it. and lol i never watched the last season but i heard about how shit went down with leslie/max so like thats not a forever otp or anything, it just helped me realize that max/murphy was not really my jam

dorothy/lucas on emerald city. this is a ship that i was into the idea of, then shipped like BURNING at the end of that ep when he keeps trying to tell the knock knock joke and she was like internally screaming. but then we got his identity, fixed his amnesia, and his love for glinda, and it just. it ruined a good thing is what i have to say. it just left me annoyed at the end of the day.

bonnie/jeremy on tvd. i know a lot of my friends were anti this ship to start with for a lot of reasons (and a lot of ppl were anti it back in the day bc they were still hoping for jeremy/tyler) but they had some cute content, and honestly I was relieved there was SOMEONE who was putting bonnies life first. but then he cheated on her with a ghost.......... i love anna but. REALLY?

jessica/luke in the marvel netflix universe. oh this one hurts. this one hurts a lot. i LOOOOOOOOOOVE comics jessica/luke. ANOTHER FUCK FIRST FEELINGS LATER SHIP! I LOVE THOSE! and when we first saw them together in the jessica jones show i thought it was going great! the actors have good chemistry and i loved their interactions! BUT. THEN. SHE KILLED HIS WIFE. AND SHE KNEW THIS AND HAD BEEN STALKING HIM OUT OF GUILT. AND THEN HAD SEX WITH HIM KNOWING SHE KILLED HIS WIFE. look obviously reva's death was not her fault, in any way. she had zero control over that situation. but she had control over her actions during the series, and she chose to get close to luke and have sex with him, knowing exactly how his wife died and that kilgrave was behind it, and not telling him shit til she absolutely had to. i can appreciate their relationship for what it is in that universe, but i reALLY can't ship it anymore.

bay/emmett on switched at birth. they were SO CUTE. SOOOOOOOOO CUTE. i loved this ship a lot. then the show got more boring and i stopped watching it, and then like?? he was a huge asshole?? after she was assaulted?? LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK. idk whatever way you slice it, however that all went down in context that i'm missing, it just sounds like such a betrayal and now i get twitchy thinking about it

hayley/elijah on the originals. i distinctly remember being super hype the first time they had sex. then after she became a vampire, he became extraordinarily judgmental and i just shut down at the idea entirely. extremely meh to me 5ever

some other vague ones: jim/any of his love interests on gotham (they kept STARTING good but then jim being jim it........ blew up), len/sara and barry/len in the dc tv universe (len/sara became boring to me much much quicker, esp bc the fandom surrounding it left a lot to be desired. barry/len took longer and i still really appreciate the dynamic but i began finding it kinda boring lol. its a westallen micklen life for ME) (i can still get into coldwestallen tho, that's still fun for me and its a very different kind of fandom angle that's not so..... uwu little barry and his zaddy type of vibe), so many ships on good trouble they really worked overtime to RUIN, i still cannot belieeeeeeeve hit the floor wrote ahsha/derek off by saying he was angry at her for having an abortion (one of many WHAT THE FUCK SEASON 4?!?!?!! moments), a ship i won't name that i was into for a few seasons, then started finding boring, then their stans started sending me kill yourself anons bc i'd started shipping a competing ship (IT'S NOT A GREAT LOOK YOU GUYS), james/kara on supergirl was SO CUTE and the show immediately destroyed it the second they could, in a way that just leaves me annoyed and bitter and incapable of shipping the season 1 version anymore, CHASE/GERT IN THE RUNAWAYS SHOW, another example where i still ship their comics selves hardcore but god. i hate some of the choices they made for their tv counterparts, and season 2 really killed a lot of it for me.

i'm sure theres fifty more EXTREMELY PRESSING EXAMPLES but this is all i got for now <333

[abcdosaka]

I’ve been on a huge manga kick recently if it wasn’t obvious. I recently read searching for my perfect brother. Genuinely I did not expect it to be so good. I read the fan tl last night and then I reread it today (the official). like authors barely disguised fetish aside, it was really really well made and written. and genuinely I don’t even feel I can judge the incestuous aspects of whatever the hell their relationship turned out to be bc it’s not like it wasn’t even acknowledged how fucked it is like it was literally the last line in the manga (aside from the letter). “What does a perfect family look like? I never knew that to begin with.” Like what a gut punch. Despite just how weird both rize and kairi turned out I felt so bad for them like I’m glad they got away with it.

Tbh really similar vibes to fire punch (incest bc of terrible upbringing), oyasumi punpun and killing stalking (murder and strange toxic relationship. I guess fire punch has this too). although I think rize and kairis relationship didn’t end up thaaat toxic in comparison? Like kairi is, imho, really not that bad of a guy. rize is also not that bad of a person either. neither of them really did much that I would consider crossing some sort of line. but that probably says more about me than them lmao. it’s not that I don’t think murder is morally wrong, but killing a rapist POS does not really matter to me in the slightest. Because why not get rid of a guy like him? What does he even do that’s good? Like could Masaki be “redeemed” even though he shows no remorse and has damaged so many lives? if he did show remorse then would it even matter? that might even be how he thought like “I’m so deep in acting like a POS there’s no way I could become a happy member of society that contributes to collective good” not that I would know but if I were him that’s how I’d think. I mean even before he died he seemed like he was just fucked for good no matter what. Idk maybe if they put him in the clockwork orange he’d have a chance

It’s funny though like I’m saying I can’t judge the incest kink aspect bc I get how they got to that point but I can judge masaki for being scum even though I also get how he got to that point? I guess another thing is

1. the incest shit isn’t really hurting anyone (other than maybe themselves like mentally) bc it’s not like they’re actually related whereas masaki hurt so many ppl. Well idk it might hurt their future kids. Mentally.

2. It kinda felt like masaki was making excuses for himself acting like shit whereas rize and kairi just accept that they are strange but if it gets them to be happy and live “righteous” lives then it’s a net positive?

3. I would consider myself against the death penalty or punitive measures in general but I’m totally brushing off kairi murdering him. But overall what reason do I have to say hey that guy shouldn’t have been killed? I guess since my own values kind of inform my response then someone else having different values would also be able to brush off a different crime bc what makes my opinion more important than theirs?

idk. Anyway it was really well done fun to think about and the tension was sustained really well thru the entire thing. It’s great that it was so succinct too

[reisdump]

Yk the trope i hate the most... "FRIENDS TO LOVERS"

I wasn't always like this..FTL trope used to be my fav, like its literally my biggest dream, like to have my male best friend as my lover..but that went straight downhill when I date my best friend back in 2019...I was so happy at first, like even the little things would make me giggle, act all girly and all (which wasn't really so me). But after a month, everything ended..I've dreamed of everything..graduating our grade 12 tgt, dating in college, cafe dates, getting married EVERYTHING to the point that ppl will think im insane bc I LOVE HIM SM. I was so hurt, like my heart literally broke into pieces..I hurts, so fucking much to the point that I got sick. Ever since then, I have never thought of dating again..like ever.

It's been 5 years already since then, I've moved on and completely healed... but the fear of getting heartbroken and all those things again traumatized me so bad that I still haven't dated anyone again.. I have this fear, of being in pain again..or maybe the fear of being abandoned by someone again, as if im some object that they can just throw away when they got tired of it.

I'm in my 2nd year of college now, studying for my bachelors..I have this friend, a MALE best friend from our senior, we clique off really well since the day we met..we literally hang out everywhere despite the age gap..ppl would suspect us, but we both knew that it was purely platonic(or maybe only for me?) and feel as if we don't need to explain or deny to anyone. We've been friends for almost a year now, I treat him just like my older brother since I don't have one and always envied to have one. I used to have thoughts like "Oh, he must be the one God gave me as my older brother, someone who will stick by my side and defend for me"..I was so grateful to have him, and really admire him as my best friend and as an older brother. I really thought it was all like that way, even for him but NO, it wasn't. It was that I was just too oblivious.

We were talking abt random stuff last night, and idk how we got into that topic but he somehow just started confessing his feelings for me, saying something like "I used to wonder, how do you want me to confess/propose? I've been thinking hard and know its gonna be hard bc you have high expectations, but i want to...", "Whenever I try to get away from you, you somehow always get sick and I can't help but come closer to you yet again". He totally makes me flabbergasted..like I was out of words for a minute, but I still try to act all cool..saying something like "Maybe God wants u to keep staying by my side as a good friend you are" but he keep confessing anyway😭

His words have been on my mind since then. I'm still surprised, like ever.. and i'm furious.. like im literally burning inside. But somehow, my heart broke..having this thought like I lost another best friend again. Oh, another side story- There's this boy from my batch, my old lab partner..he was really kind and sweet, he was a great friend too..he somehow have a crush on me and confess too😭

Maybe its bc of this, i'm afraid and mad at myself..like it makes me think, "What have I done? I thought I've always just look at them just as a friend but maybe i did something wrong?" ... I really don't want to lose another friend and get my heart broken just bc of these stupid feelings..idk what i'm gonna do with him..He is a great man, he's smart, ambitious, caring for ppl around him, like he literally cares for me a lot but yk, maybe bc of my past experience, I just can't do this anymore..especially with my best friend. Either he'll break my heart or I'll break his heart bc of my past experiences

I just hope that he finds someone who loves him truly and that we'll always be best friends regardless🫠

[strange-and-dynamic]

Dateline: January 10th 2023

So on this night I dreamt about living in this huge house, like the size of a content creator house, with ppl I don’t think I ever seen in my life, but none of us were like popular gamers or anything we were just some friends

And all of us loved and appreciated eachother and there was this one guy who was like the big brother to the entire household (big brother to me as well obvi) essentially, even tho it didn’t feel like it in the dream the entire house was kinda found family (it’s so sweet 🥺)

Here’s where the weird part kicks in tho, because my dreams always gotta have a weird/offputting part— I walked outside 2 times for unbeknownst reasons but both times were at night (WHY DO ALL MY OFFPUTTING DREAMS TAKE PLACE AT NIGHT???) and both times I get harassed by this boy from my old class (the one where my old friends are from) and apparently he’s drunk (he’s nowhere near legal drinking age,,, nor would he ever even get his hands on alcohol—) and he was trying to get something out of me but I’m not sure what, he was just kinda repeatedly woozily grabbing on to me

And here’s the fun part— everytime I got harassed by him (a total of 3 times within those 2 outings) I’d get some weird blunt object kinda shaped like a sharp object, and then hit him repeatedly, and instead of the normal ‘hit someone in a dream and it does nothing’ gist, everytime I hit him it felt real and I knocked him down and it took him a long while to get back up (I mean, he’s inebriated so—)

And every time I knocked him down I got a gift! (3 nice gifts in that dream total) and the gift wasn’t from him it was always from some outer source, like he fell and hit one of those sidewalk market shelves and something fell off of it, or someone gave me something as compensation after watching and,,, doing nothing— (maybe they knew I could take care of it??)

And instead of being scared of the boy or even angry, I instead pitied him, he was pathetic in my eyes— and I remember the found family being involved too and seeing him as annoying

(You’d think I’d be scared of getting harassed at night time in lonely streets by a boy I knew previously who is now inebriated for some reason???)

After I get my 3 nice compensation gifts I walk home (not even looking behind me because I still wasn’t scared for some reason— why am I never scared???) and say hi to all the friends (the found family members) that are downstairs, I got home just in time because 🎉dinner’s ready!🎉 It was cooked by the big brother figure and 1 or 2 other friends and they must’ve made a lot because everyone got a full plate and there was some small context we could all get seconds too if we wanted (that’s,,, a lot of food there’s like 20 of us in this house—)

When I got home I went up to the big brother figure and hugged him (he hugged me back 😌) and then kissed him on the cheek (🥺 aww) to which he said something along the lines of ‘thanks for the love G’ and then I got my plate and went upstairs with some other friends to watch either gaming videos or another friend playing some old-timey fps, I think it was COD Civil War idk

And then I woke up!

Fun lil tidbits:

• The 3 nice gifts I got was this small keyboard that came with a metal stylus to play the keys with, 2 colorful plastic beaded bracelets I got for Christmas 2022, and a muted red kinda tribal pattern sun dress

• The boy in the dream that kept harassing me was this boy from 6th grade that really did not know how to keep his hands to himself— like he didn’t hit me but he would pull on me and hug me too tight, in general did not know the meaning of personal space. I learned in the next school year I was there from a friend (he changed schools for that year) that apparently he had a crush on me 😳 (thank god he never confessed)

• Everyone in the house was black (I’m black too) did the dream do that on purpose to make it feel more like family? Or is it just because I lived in black dominated spaces pretty much my whole life— idk

• It looked like a rapper house— the 2 most memorable figures of the house (the big brother figure and one of the few girls) looked like rappers I’ve seen before that I can’t name, the big bro had some chin length dreads with a few of them being purple, and the lady looked like a girl from I think the Black Ink Crew, with some straight past-shoulder length red hair (you know damn well that was a weave 💀)