#like idk if I experience romantic attraction or not

[wrathofrats]

ASK GAME:

What's a secret headcanon about a character you wanna share but never had the chance to?

One I mention a lot but never dive into is my aro ace delta. I just don’t think he experiences that kind of attraction. He doesn’t like sex, doesn’t feel anything sexual, and most romantic displays of affection near him make him uncomfortable usually. He’s not mean about it but will leave the room or turn away, or if pebble sees he’s uncomfy pebble will intervene and make fun of the offending couple

Idk

I just love aro ace delta

[pinkinsect]

i love ryusae i just think theyshould be alloaro about it

[phoebebuggers]

me at 14 wondering why i love alice oseman books sm:

me at almost 18 faced with the terrifying reality that i might be ace/possibly aro: ..

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

questioning sexuality is so exhausting

[spaciebabie]

does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.

[waterfall-ambience]

nghm okay my take on the neuvillette 'ships' is that they're...all kinda boring? theres a lot of interesting dynamics to explore dont get me wrong but for all of them romance is the least interesting option lol. first is because i dont think he's romantically-inclined by nature (aroace king) but also he intentionally tries to keep people at arms length because of his position as iudex (so even if he has friendly connections i cant see anything 'more' than that actually working out) .

however the most interesting juxtaposition for his character imo is being so filled with love for the world and the people around him and simulataneously not experiencing 'love' in the way a lot of people traditionally understand it. he loves people so deeply no he does not want to pursue any of them romantically. it doesnt even have anything to do with him being a dragon, he's just like that.

[aroanthy]

hi!! i know u talk a lot about aromanticism a lot on here, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen u talk about aromantic anthy. would u mind discussing/elaborating on it or linking to a post where u do because i’m very curious!!

i got a similar ask half a year ago or something ridiculous like that on my main blog, but i’d like to really do justice to my url right now and explain it in more concrete terms.

i will say, it’s important to bear in mind that this reading of anthy’s character is very much informed by my own experiences, and a lot of those experiences are ones im not keen to talk in depth about. but you know. let’s make some nebulous gestures towards ideas of being traumatised, being autistic, struggling to meaningfully connect with others and honestly not really wanting to do such because of how they treat you.

like ive previously said, an aromantic perspective on the world would, i think, really benefit anthy. when youve lived your whole life experiencing violence at the hands of these patriarchal structures, of which romance is absolutely one, it’s kinda like. damn. im uncomfortable buying into those ideas.

anthy also has this lovely line in ep 19 where she says to utena ‘romance either happens or it doesn’t��� and it’s just sooooooo. so very interesting to me, actually, that anthy would say something so black and white about ‘romance’, a topic that anthy knows better than a lot of rgu characters is hopelessly confused and arbitrary and often enabling violence. and utena (fellow aromantic gaybo) says 'yeah, i know, but...'. these simplifications, these elisions. what is and isn't articulated. but what? maybe things are much more complicated than we'd like to think.

anyway enough of that tangent. one thing i as a trans and aromantic person always return to when discussing trans and aromantic readings of characters/texts more broadly is that there's no singular piece of evidence that can really cement these readings as Undeniable. it's like. okay. there's a critique of romance as a patriarchal structure in revolutionary girl utena. there's an ambiguity about anthy's feelings towards characters like utena, where there is clearly a queer connection but it takes shape in unconventional and complex ways. me, i'm aromantic, i see all of these pieces and i go oh well that's because she's an aromantic lesbian. you know, there's plenty of little moments i can evidence but those moments can be used to argue for an alloromantic lesbian anthy too. romance is a very arbitrary thing and i think everyone should take their own approach to it unapologetically. of course, mine is that it's hellish and i want nothing to do with it, but im just one guy. and im okay with that. i feel strongly about this reading and it is personal, and id be dishonest to say otherwise, but i do also find that it's well-evidenced in the text. as one of my lecturers once said, don't worry about authorial intent, it isn't real <3

[contagious-watermelon]

am i the only one who feels like aspecs have started doing to "allo" what neurodivergent people have done to "neurotypical"

[gromlyn]

just learned about the term aplatonic and uh. well that explains some very complicated feelings I’ve been having lately

[threecatsinpajamas]

being aro doesn't make navigating romance any easier btw.

[biohazard-inevitable]

So like, wanted to make a lil post about my general orientation cause I’ve been thinking about it for a bit, cause like, okay, so I use the labels “queer” because other labels like asexual and demisexual sort of feel right in the way that yeah a worn left shoe still fits on your right foot and you can walk on it, but its not entirely a perfect fit.

So like, i have sexual urges and some sexual attraction to fictional cjaracters, but I have MORE of a sexual attraction to individual kinks and fetishes and the one that gets me goin the BEST is entirely physically impossible. Out of both of my partners I dont think I could ever visualize having sex with either of them, no matter how close our romantic bond is. Its just not something I think i’d be interested in, but also sometimes I wish I did have someone I was interested in like that, but I’m pretty sure i’d never find them. I dont really find human faces attractive??? If that makes sense?? I mean sometimes I definitely get gender envy from faces, but like, when it comes to sex i only sometimes find genitals themselves sexy, but im not really sexually attracted to the rest of the body unless it’s fictional (often times 2D). I find myself most sexually attracted to the idea of *sensations* like the *feeling* of being pinned down or being constricted rather than the actual physical body? If that makes any amount of sense, so I dont think i’d ever find another real human being sexually attractive.

Now, as for romantic orientation, i’ve settled on demiromantic for now cause i dont feel comfortable dating someone if I havent known them for at least a *little bit* first, so like- awkward first dates with someone you met online just are NOT it for me. I cannot imagine gettting into a relationship with someone I barely know. Now of course i am in a poly relationship with 2 lovely partners, and my feelings towards that are admittedly complicated. Thats not to say i dont LOVE them, I do! Its just that as I see how the world around me feels and describes “Love”, I realize I dont feel it the same.

For me, Love is a choice. I chose to love my partners. They are lovely people who make me laugh and smile and feel like a warm summer’s day, but i chose to fall in love with them. It wasnt some “oh i simply cant control my love I must be together with you!” It was a very firm, I care for this person more than i care for my family, I love them and they almsot are family to me. I chose to love them. I choose to be in a relationship with them, and they love me back. And admittedly, I feel guilty because I’m worried my type of love may not sound like real or genuine Love, when to me, it is!

Its the kind of love thats almost platonic, but I chose to say it is romantic, because I want to do inherently societally romantic things with them! So, i love them romantically!

But lets say if either wanted to break up with me for whatever reason, sure, I’d maybe be a little sad, but i dont know if i’d be truly devastated? Like, if they decide not to label our relationship as romantic and wish to become platonic, i think that’d be okay. They’re still in my life, and i still care about them the same amount! I dont think it would change anything if we continued to be friends! We just wouldnt do as romantic things, but I dont feel the dynamic would change much at all except that our “dates” would become playonic and we probably wouldnt kiss (not that i kiss much to begin with cause of *trauma*)

But if they wanted to end the friendship *entirely*???? Then i’d be upset for WEEKS. MONTHS maybe even! *years* knowing my track record. If they never wanted to talk to me again i think I might explode. Honestly i’m more worried about THAT happening than a breakup.

Its a messy, complicated thing, and honestly it may lean more toward aro than demi, but yeah. Thats my feelings!!! They’re… weird.

[luvsavos]

random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently

[critterchitters-closedcaptions]

funny thing about attraction is that i am Not at all interested in cis guys. right.

except for the literal worst fictional men you've ever layed eyes on.

this character is horrible and *will* harm my general health?

comfort character babey.

occasionally theres the just Regular Ass Guy right, but 90% of the time its either women or the literal scum of the earth (or both. lady villains. aaough <3 yes please)

[argoxnautilus]

it seems that it is time once again for me to have my bimonthly identity crisis about whether or not i experience romantic attraction while also being terrified of what that means for my future relationships. fuck

[p2ii]

Man I love *looks at list of all the canon moirallegiances in homestuck* (wow there are all dysfunction af) ...meowrails I wish moirallegiance was real

[halfdeadwallfly]

just found out the guy i've been talking to is a creep. again.