#because it recontextualises everything. in this case unnecessarily so

[waterfall-ambience]

nghm okay my take on the neuvillette 'ships' is that they're...all kinda boring? theres a lot of interesting dynamics to explore dont get me wrong but for all of them romance is the least interesting option lol. first is because i dont think he's romantically-inclined by nature (aroace king) but also he intentionally tries to keep people at arms length because of his position as iudex (so even if he has friendly connections i cant see anything 'more' than that actually working out) .

however the most interesting juxtaposition for his character imo is being so filled with love for the world and the people around him and simulataneously not experiencing 'love' in the way a lot of people traditionally understand it. he loves people so deeply no he does not want to pursue any of them romantically. it doesnt even have anything to do with him being a dragon, he's just like that.

[littlehollyleaf]

I'm curious what made you become disinterested in supernatural? I on the contrary became invested again last year after already stopping watching for a while lol

That's a great question and one I am constantly puzzling over myself honestly.

There's been a lot of niggles all show ofc. Side characters being killed off constantly, issues with female character portrayal, Cas' character/plot being (or at least feeling) sidelined etc. All the usual stuff fans have been critical of for years.

But overall I was always pretty good at accepting the faults/flaws in the writing and focusing on the good and the stuff I did like. Consuming the media critically while still enjoying it and all that.

There were two key things that pushed me away though. And to tell the truth, even I was surprised they did. On their own they are really no different to stuff I'd been handling just fine, so I am myself kinda unsure why these two things hit me so hard. But they did and here we are so...

Firstly - Charlie's death. Absolutely knocked me for six. I was... floored by that decision. When it happened I... I was so unprepared and disbelieving it simply threw me right out of the story. I literally threw my laptop away from me in disgust (just a few inches across the sofa, I didn't break it or anything :p). For some, naive, reason I'd just been SO SURE that that wasn't the direction the writers were gonna take. And it wasn't even that I loved Charlie. She wasn't one of my big faves (not then anyway, retrospectively she became one after that). It was more... that it felt like the show/story was taking a step backwards, repeating old plots, using old tropes in old ways, not allowing the story/characters to develop. And I'd been so incredibly positive about S10 up until that point, everything felt like we were... idk GETTING SOMEWHERE. Then suddenly that, imo, grinded everything to a halt and stuck the story in a rut. It was a real slap in the face.

So that was the first Big Thing.

But EVEN SO. I was willing to push through my disappointment and work with S11. And while I was never really taken with the whole Darkness/Amara plot (I always much preferred the reading where the MoC was simply amplifying Dean's own darkness and not that it was an outside force putting darkness inside him that wasn't his), I did start to get into it okay. I am also 100000% behind the 'God is a villain / deadbeat dad' thing, that's always been my personal reading of god in the show anyway.

BUT. Then the second Big Thing happened that finally kicked me out for real. And it's something the rest of fandom has absolutely zero issue with and is just a personal hang up I can't let go of, even though I've tried and tried and TRIED. And that was THE WAY THEY MADE CHUCK GOD.

It's not that I'm opposed to Chuck BEING god. It's just that....... him being a CONSCIOUS god in S04 and S05 just... it just doesn't fit the canon/performance/writing of the character in his episodes those seasons good enough for me. I would have accepted various versions of Chuck as god - eg. god possessing the body of Chuck post S05 (and in the finale) or Chuck being an amnesiac!god for whatever reason. But the 'method acting' explanation they went with just... does not cut it for me! It... it just totally DESTROYS a bunch of stuff in S04 and S05 episodes for me, like when Zachariah confronts Chuck after Chuck has obviously just had a vision of the S05 finale and stops him warning Sam and Dean - Chuck's fear in that moment makes for a powerful sense of dread about the future and emphasises how evil Heaven is being, but that only holds if CHUCK IS CHUCK. Now Chuck was apparently god in that moment it... it just LESSENS IT for me. Cos his fear must therefore be understood as fake. His VISION must be understood as fake? (ergo even seeing him HAVE a vision doesn't make sense... in fact NONE of the times he had visions make sense, because he was obviously NEVER HAVING VISIONS IF HE WASN'T A PROPHET, so all those scenes where we see him have them, including times when he is ALONE and therefore not acting for anyone, DON'T REALLY MAKE SENSE AAAARGH!). So yeah, recontextualised that moment is just 'lol Chuck/god is trolling Zach/Heaven and pretending they can threaten him' which is OBVIOUSLY NOT what the original script/performance/direction/everything was going for and there's a BUNCH of stuff like that and... it just... it REALLY BUGS ME.

It's... imo an UNTIDY/UNSATISFYING retcon. And that feels extra sucky for me when spn has pulled some FANTASTIC retcons in the past eg. The Trickster being Gabriel - SEAMLESS! INSPIRED! Takes away NOTHING from previous episodes/performances, only gives them greater depth.

Uuuugh I'm getting all tense just THINKING about this whole Chuck as God thing again!! The other part that makes it EXTRA ANNOYING being how there were literally SO MANY other explanations they could have used that WEREN'T 'method acting,' so it's like the show went and picked my personal Worst Case Scenario unnecessarily, gah!

So... that's what did it for me.

I think... I think MAYBE if Charlie hadn't happened (or they'd at least actually undone her death for real and not given us a not!charlie replacement and acted like that was good enough) I might have been able to work with how they made Chuck god (esp since everything I've seen/heard of god these last two seasons sounds EXACTLY MY JAM). Or, if they'd made Chuck god a different way I'd probably have been able to handle how they killed Charlie. But... the combination was apparently just too much. Those two things together, combined with all the other ongoing niggles, made the explanation for Chuck as god the Final Straw.

Alas.

(then to add - I did start almost getting back into the show last season, because I liked what was happening with Mary and the idea of Jack's story... except then I hear they went and fridged Mary AGAIN (OFFSCREEN?) as part of a Jack going darkside plot that simultaneously included driving another rift between Dean and Cas and... well that immediately killed a lot of the emotional investment that had been rebuilding, so...)

Sorry for the ramble. Kinda a lame explanation really but, that's the truth of it.

(Bet you now wish you hadn't asked :p)