#like i was fully in bed

[tellthatbrokebitch]

okay so i saw this post about s5 will and nellie from the haunting of hill house and went into a fugue state and wrote this, loosely LOOSELY inspired, more kind of the wisp of the vibe of the post, really. i just HAD TO

Why was he here? Why was he here?

It was five minutes till midnight.

The cold night air bit his cheeks until they turned red, dug its claws beneath the thin sweater he’d stolen from Mike’s closet before leaving the Wheeler’s, the wind tossing his hair where it peeks out from one of Dustin’s borrowed beanies. There were worn boots on his feet, an old pair of Lucas’ that Sue Sinclair had pressed upon him one day when she saw the dirty sneakers he’d been wearing when they left Lenora Hills, but it was like the chill from the asphalt was seeping in through the thick soles and thin socks to nip at his toes all the same.

It was five minutes till midnight, and Will had gotten out of bed, dressed poorly for the weather, borrowed Mike’s abandoned and forgotten bike, had navigated the empty streets, before finally coming to a halt on the road directly in front of the Creel House.

He’s never even been here, how did he even know where to go?

Four minutes till midnight.

He stares up at the house, standing dark and silent before him. Why is he here? What compelled him to leave the warmth and safety of the Wheeler house, the comfort of his bed, the company of his best friend’s snoring only a mere few feet away, for the unpleasant atmosphere of this accursed place?

Only… it wasn’t so warm, was it? They’ve been staying with the Wheelers, Will and Jonathan, while Joyce, Hopper, and El stayed at the cabin, but it’s been months. There’s only so much hospitality a person could extend, and Karen Wheeler was nearly at her limit. Ted was over it almost before it began, making muttered comments his breath about food shortages and spacing issues, and his favorite topic of conversation these days was how much the water bill would cost this month.

And it wasn’t exactly safe, either. The walls of the Wheeler’s home couldn’t keep Vecna’s voice out of Will’s head, nor could it stop the horrible dreams, the fantastical visions, the terrifying hallucinations. He still felt the phantom touch of creepy crawling legs along his skin. He still felt the chill, always in that one specific spot in the basement and nowhere else. He still saw shadows moving out of the corner of his eye, taking the shape of some shadowy form that watched him with human eyes and discorporated when his head swiveled in its direction. He still heard whispers, low enough he could almost mistake it for static if only they didn’t occasionally say his name. He still tasted the familiar fog-like air of the Upside Down if he dared to breathe through his mouth, heavy on his tongue with the taste of decay.

Three minutes till midnight.

The bed he slept in wasn’t at all comfortable. It was an air mattress Karen had managed to scrounge up, as Jonathan had volunteered himself to take the old, springy couch in the basement, leaving Will and his air mattress to set up camp in Mike’s room. This just meant that when Will jolted awake in the middle of the night to a horror-inducing vision of Mike on the ceiling, surrounded by shadow, mouth open in a silent scream that echoed loudly in Will’s head, he couldn’t even turn his head the scant few inches to the side to see for himself if the real Mike was still in bed, locked in a paralysis from which he could not escape. It was a new condition for Will, developed within the first few days after arriving back in Hawkins, a condition that Dustin dedicated an entire afternoon at the library researching and announced was “sleep paralysis”, which he said could be from exposure to traumatic events - which was only the last three years of Will’s life.

And as for his relationship with Mike… well, that was all but gone, wasn’t it? Because Mike knows now. He knows about the painting, knows Will lied, knows that Will… he hadn’t said so, but his stony silence, his avoidance, his averted gaze spoke for him. Mike didn’t need to say the words, because he and Will had always had their own language, and now that language was silence. The last time they’d actually spoken to one another, it escalated into an argument that ended with Mike saying he was going to hang out with El to get away from you, and Will bitterly replying yeah, maybe if you keep showing up where you’re not welcome she’ll take you back. And now, Mike left the house early and came home late, and he faked his snores until Will fell asleep first.

Two minutes till midnight.

It was obvious Will was struggling. Joyce tried to get him to open up, but she had other things to worry about, like getting the cabin ready for the harsh winter they were expecting, supporting El, spending time with Hopper after only just getting him back. Will couldn’t begrudge her that, especially not when the knowledge of what happened to Bob, what he’d done to Bob, still haunted them both. After all she’s done for Will, all she’s given, all she’s given up, she deserves to be happy. Even if Will’s not quite part of that happiness anymore.

Lucas and Dustin had their own struggles. Lucas was clinging onto hope that Max would wake up, spending most of his time by her side, reading aloud to her and holding onto the cast that covered her hand. Dustin was still reeling from his first real loss, a guy Will had never met and couldn’t properly mourn. He lost himself in work, volunteering at the shelter and burying himself in it, pushing himself to the brink of exhaustion every day in order to be able to sleep at night.

After their talk in the kitchen of Surfer Boy, Jonathan had made an effort to listen more, to talk more, but he could only do so much. He couldn’t carry on a conversation when the other party refused to participate, and his attempts to get Will to open up were more and more often met with monosyllabic responses and half-hearted shrugs. Eventually, he stopped trying, seemingly deciding to give Will some space. And despite the fact that he’d pushed for it, Will took this as yet another sign that he was unwelcome.

And El… El perhaps hurt the worst, perhaps even more than Mike. Because while Mike was his heart, a loss he felt keenly all day and all night, El was a part of him. They’ve been connected since that first meeting, or maybe even before then, because when she appeared to him in the Upside Down, as he lay curled up in Fort Byers, he felt like he knew her before he’d even opened his eyes. Something in him had whispered oh, there you are, i know you, a feeling that only solidified when they finally met in person a year later, after she closed the gate and he expelled a monster from his body. There you are. And now she was too busy training, too busy searching the void for Max, too busy looking for a way to save the world. She was too busy for Will.

One minute till midnight.

Unwelcome, unwanted, unappreciated, a voice whispers in his ear, so familiar an occurrence that Will didn’t even startle anymore. They’ve abandoned you, Will. Your family abandoned you. They’re out there going about their dreary days, living their dreary lives, and they spare no thought to the lonely boy they’ve forgotten. Goosebumps break out along the nape of his neck, and it almost feels like a loving caress. But you don’t need them, Will. You have never needed them. They are the ones who need you, and they will never know how much that is until you’re gone. There’s an awareness of someone standing at his back for just a moment before it leaves as abruptly as it came. I have always wanted you, Will. I have missed you. Come home, Will.

The numbers on his watch tick over from 11:59 PM to 12:00 AM on November 6th, 1986, and Will doesn’t notice. He’s staring at the front of the house, staring at the porch light, which is flickering in a series of dots, dashes, and spaces.

He leaves his bike on the street. He climbs the steps.

He opens the front door and steps inside the Creel House.

And he never leaves.

W E L C O M E H O M E W I L L

[1doesnotsimplyhavejust1fandam]

This has most definitely been said before, but we were robbed of the core four quarantining on-screen together at Buck’s place. ROBBED I say

[chrliekclly]

[weinzapfel]

🤫

[pondphuwin]

bed friend, episode 3

middleman's love, episode 3

[halflifebutawesome]

Man Barney had to have had like. Complete trust in Gordon at the beginning of HL2. he fully turns his entire back to him and completely moves in a way that obstructs his vision to remove his mask and helmet. DUDE .

[leciraofthewilderness]

So, despite some faults, I really enjoyed totk, and on its anniversary I want to say something about it. Other people have said similar things before but it’s really important to me and actually a big part of why the story of totk was meaningful to me, so I want to also say it:

Zelda needed to come back from draconification. The story needed that. It wasn’t lazy and just ignoring “consequences” because (imo) that was the *point*

The point is to feel like there are going to be terrible consequences and then say actually, no. You can come back from this, with the help of other people.

To me at least, that was the theme of the whole story.

If botw was about how the world goes on past loss and grief and starts to heal (how flowers grow in the ruins and the world can be beautiful again, be worth saving, even if it has changed)…then totk was about a more personal kind of healing.

The weight of the world should not be on your shoulders alone…you, alone, should not have to fix everything…you should not have to sacrifice yourself, but when you do, someone will be there to save you from it.

This turned into a really long ramble so:

You (Link) gained so much and now it’s gone. It feels like you’re back to where you started and yet you know you have to do it all again…you were weak and you failed and you’re weaker now…but

You go down to the surface. Monsters swarm across it once again. Other people are fighting them too though. You help, but it’s not just you…

You go to the Rito, the Gorons, the Zora, the Gerudo…just like with the divine beasts, there are friends who help you save each region. But this time, part of them comes along with you when you leave. It’s nice, you realize, the first time one of them protects you from a monster you weren’t prepared for. You’re still weaker than you were before, but someone has your back…

When you go up to the sky you see a strange new dragon there. There’s something about them that feels familiar. You try not to think about it.

You go down to the depths too. It’s terrifying at first. You hate it. You only want to get what you came for and get out of the dark….but slowly, the light grows. You get stronger. The dark feels like a challenge you can face (and someone has your back).

There are spirits down there. You don’t know when they’re from, but some part of you wonders…are these all the people you let die in the Calamity? (You help them find rest from their wandering. The weight on your shoulders feels a little less heavy).

There’s so much gloom. The first few times the sky turns red and hands chase you (a reminder of what you’ve lost, how you failed) you just run. Eventually though, you have to fight. It feels like the (second) worst day of your life again. But you manage to get free of the grasping gloom and stand and fight, as wild and desperate as it is. Beneath the manifestation of your worst fears, there’s another thing to fight, but this time it has a face (a voice in the back of your head says…you know this isn’t all on you and your failure…it’s really Ganon’s fault right?). You get through it.

At every turn in your travels, it seems like something reminds you of Zelda. Her passion, her curiosity, her kindness. You miss her.

At first, the tears you find reassure you. She may be in the past, but she’s safe. She’ll come back somehow…but then you hear the word draconification for the first time. You want to believe she wouldn’t do it but you know her and the fear sits cold inside you. (Zelda is a lot of things. She’s been allowed to be more of them, since she was freed from her hundred year battle, without her father holding her back. But deep down inside her, there’s a vein of self-sacrifice that still runs strong. It’s what saved the world before, after all).

She did it. She really did it. She’s gone from you (from Hyrule) forever, and it’s all your fault. If only you hadn’t failed so utterly in the battle (you can hardly even call it that) under the castle. If only you’d caught her. If only you hadn’t let the sword break. You should have protected her you should have been better it’s all your fault and now she has to live with the consequences, forever. Everything really is on you, you should have been better.

(Zelda POV: you couldn’t call upon Hylia’s power in time, you were too content to let it wither and fade away from you, ready to be free of it. You shouldn’t have. He got hurt, the sword got hurt, it’s your fault…Sonia and Rauru help you channel it again, Sonia helps you learn how to turn back time…but you don’t save her. She dies because you couldn’t save her. Rauru dies not long after. There is no one left to guide you, once again. You could spend years trying to figure it out on your own. But you did that last time. It didn’t work. Self-sacrifice, stepping in front of someone you love, that worked. (You do what you can, to call upon the sages, to help Link in the future, first). And then you swallow the stone. You’ve come a long way, in the past five years, allowing yourself to exist. But in the end, self-sacrifice worked last time. It’ll work this time too.)

You (Link) go down beneath the castle. You were supposed to bring the sages but you didn’t. It’s nice, for someone to have your back. But no one else should get hurt to fix your mistakes.

They follow you anyway. They fight with you, against the hordes, against the greatest enemies you defeated together, along the way. They’ll have your back, even if you don’t think you deserve it.

You fight Ganondorf, and then the demon king, in the hardest battle of your life. You think it’s over and then the demon king decides it’s better to lose himself completely than let you win. You’re exhausted and afraid of yet another battle, but up there in the sky, when you’re falling, the Light Dragon catches you (you wonder why she changed her path to catch you, you wonder if there’s still something of Zelda left in there to save). With her help, you win.

And then you’re in some other realm. The spirits of Sonia and Rauru are there. You remember how the two of them and Zelda channeled such incredible power together. You think about Recall. Turning something back to the memory of what it was before, like Sonia said. You stand with them and you allow yourself to hope. Maybe the Light Dragon can remember the form she took so long ago, the person that she was.

And then you’re falling, and Zelda is falling, but this time you catch her. You catch her. She’s back home with you, finally, finally.

And maybe, one mistake doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes, someone else can stand with you, and it’ll all turn out alright. (You can put the weight of the world on your shoulders, you can sacrifice yourself, but someone will be there to catch you, someone will be there to pull you back to yourself, when all is said and done).

[wyvernity]

sss day my favorite national holiday WOOOOHHHH

bonus

[skunkes]

[lbhslefttiddie]

im so fucking mad. why did i work so hard on this. there isnt even a single gay bitch in this image all i have is latticework and osmanthus studies

[owlinks]

rebirth

[darknesspervades]

do you ever think about rue refusing katniss's mockinjay pin and wonder if it symbolised her refusal to be the face of the revolution and thus foreshadowed her death

[collectors-tablet]

I just think they'd make a very cute couple as adults (/≧▽≦)/ ✨💖🌟 there are so many THEMES u guys

Feel free to use for whatever lol

[a-s-levynn]

IV

[goldensunset]

took a nap and had a dream someone on here actually posted ‘what’s your favorite step’ over a photo of the paved brick roads in daybreak town i’m not even joking

[werewolfsmile]

It's a lot faster in person, huh?