#like i stg if i have to sit there and wait for mORE THAN ONE PLAYER to FIND/REMEMBER where THEIR OWN CHARACTER IS FROM

[troglobite]

[crying screaming tearing my hair out]

me watching this video before dming: oh these are good tips. and i'm glad that i already do most of these! okay cool.

me watching this video after dming: [inconsolable, distraught, curled up in a ball on the floor, begging, pleading]

[graves4girls]

Jealous johnny cage one shot?Preferably rock star fem reader

☆ chemical kids and mechanical brides | johnny cage

✮ wc. 1.01k ⚠︎ warning(s): fem!reader the hardest part of this was finding a good enough title i stg. i'm still iffy about it but wtvs ⟡ be sure to check out my work on ao3 → gravesforgirls !!

The adrenaline from the show is still running through your veins as you pack up your kit, humming to the song blasting from the stage as you brush away the hair sticking to your face. There were significantly more people in the stands than your last show, probably due to the leaked photos of you and Johnny cuddling up to each other at one of his movie premieres. It wasn't long after that people found out who you were, and your band's popularity sky-rocketed in the following weeks. 

You shove the duffel bags and drums into the back of the van, a smile cracking your tired expression when your eyes fall on him.

"That was fuckin' amazing."

His hands encase your face, littering your face in kisses as you laugh quietly, weakly pushing at his chest.

"Don't, I'm all sweaty."

He sticks one more kiss to your lips, big grin plastered to his face as he looks at you. "Arguably hotter."

You roll your eyes, shoving his hands away and pushing the doors closed with a sigh. "I almost don't even want to go to the club. The excitement is wearing off and now I'm just exhausted." 

He steps closer to pull you into his chest, hands grabbing at your hips to keep you in place as he presses another kiss to the corner of your mouth. 

"You and I both know damn well they'll chew you out if you ditch 'em. Y'know, for a rockstar, you sure are a goody two-shoes."

You punch his chest lightly before slinking your arms around his neck, pouting a bit. "Am not. I just like to sleep."

You huff quietly when the van's horn blares, reluctantly pulling your arms away.

"Beat it, Cage! You're holding up our drummer!"

"Fine. She's all yours." He waves at the girl hanging out the passenger window, dropping one more soft kiss to your lips as he lets you go. "I'll meet you there. Don't have too much fun without me."

You're ushered toward the bar as soon as you step into the lounge, opting to sit on one of the stools and wait for Johnny while your friends disappear into the crowd. You busy yourself with your phone, and you fail to notice someone staring at you from across the room, slowly approaching you through the sea of people drunkenly dancing. 

"Hey."

You jump a bit at the voice, eyes finding a man suddenly taking up the space in the previously empty seat beside you, but you shoot him a tight-lipped smile despite the spook. 

"Hi."

"You're from that new punk-rock band right? The tough…tough something?"

You perk up a bit, eager at the opportunity to meet a fan. "Ruff puppies, yeah. Spelled r-u-f-f."

He nods with a small laugh. "Right. Not the best with band names. But yeah, I've heard a ton of your songs. Shit's sick."

"Thanks. We actually just came from a show a couple blocks down."

He hums, waving down the bartender. "What's your preference?"

You shake your head with a small smile, waving a hand in the air. "Oh, I'm not drinking tonight. I'm just here for moral support."

"Let me buy you something else then. How about a coke?"

You shrug. "Really, it's not necessary–"

He orders a beer and a coke, shooting you a warmer smile. "This is probably the only time I'll ever get to buy the pretty drummer from Ruff Puppies a drink. I'm gonna take it."

You flush the slightest at the compliment.

"Your latest album by the way? Best shit I've heard in the scene in a hot minute. And, from one drummer to another, you're insane."

You spend the next few minutes shooting band recommendations and techniques back and forth before his eyes wander behind you, mouth falling open a bit, and you follow his gaze to find Johnny ambling over to you, the traces of a scowl on his face.

"Holy shit. You're Johnny Cage, right? Man, I love your movies. Ninja Priest was so good."

"Yeah. I appreciate it." He turns to you, snaking a hand around your waist. "Can I talk to you real quick?"

You knit your brows together, but you nod all the same, excusing yourself and following him into a secluded corner of the club, tilting your head as you look at him.

"What's up?"

"Who was that?"

The wrinkle between your eyebrows deepens. "You're talking about the kid? He's a fan of the band. He was just asking about my drumming."

He huffs a bit. "If he's a fan, he should know you have a boyfriend."

"Johnny."

His eyes aren't on you, instead drifting over your shoulder to glare at the person in question. "He bought you a drink."

You roll your eyes, slipping your fingers into his belt loops and pulling him closer. "It's just a coke, Johnny. Don't be like that." You press a kiss to his chin, leaning against him.

"Be like what? I'm not being like anything. 'M just not crazy about random dudes flirting with my girlfriend."

You bite back a laugh, hooking a finger in the collar of his shirt to pull him closer, kissing him softly. "You're cute when you're jealous."

He grumbles as you draw back, hands resting on your waist as he continues to avoid your eyes. "I'm not jealous. And I definitely wouldn't be jealous of that little rat."

"Mhm…whatever you say, babe." He finally looks at you fully, softening a bit at your smile. "I think you need to loosen up a bit. On me?"

You drag him back to the bar, and you're about to sit back down when he lifts you from the stool, taking your spot and pulling you down into his lap instead, and you fight against his strong hold in a weak attempt to get away. 

"You're so embarrassing. Let go."

His arms tighten around you, and any attempt to pry them from your waist is futile, hiding your flushed face in your hands as he chuckles. 

"I just wanna make sure everyone here knows you're already spoken for."

[ghostlynachopanda]

Kiss

a/n: the wifi in my apartment has been out for 3 days?? I'm gonna throw hands with management stg. I wrote this at 4am this time so it might suck but we get jealous Wednesday and a first kiss. Enjoy this one pals, especially you Alex.

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x reader

words: 2.2k

~~~

Wednesday woke up to the sounds of heavy rain against the large window in her dorm. She could feel the cold seeping through the window and biting at her skin when she removed her blanket. To her surprise and satisfaction, Enid was already gone. Today, Wednesday took her time getting ready. There were no noises disturbing the morning silence or stopping her from enjoying the morning chill. When Wednesday was ready, she headed down to breakfast. Intending to join you, even if you’re not fully awake.

Wednesday scans the dining hall, and it doesn't take long to spot you in your usual seat. This time, you have company: Enid. Wednesday tries not to let it bother her, there's no reason you can't hang out with Enid. You're friends, after all.

But, Enid was sitting in Wednesday's spot, and that makes her pause. Enid was sitting closer than Wednesday normally would, talking to you animatedly about something Wednesday couldn't hear. You were smiling and laughing along with whatever mindless things Enid was saying. Your attention was fully on Enid and whatever unintelligent things she was saying. It made Wednesday's chest tighten with something she was unfamiliar with.

Wednesday doesn't like it, not one bit. Wednesday quickly makes her way to the two of you, finally making her presence known. You notice her first.

"Oh, good morning Wednesday," you said, voice light and a little breathy. Wednesday's eyes settle on your figure, taking in your relaxed posture. You take her in too,

"Howdy roomie, sleep well?" Enid asks.

"Enid, have you eaten breakfast yet?" Wednesday asks next.

"Not yet, I was a little busy-"

"Go get it." Wednesday snapped, eyes not leaving you. Both of you missed the knowing smile on Enid's face

"Sure! Either of you want anything while I'm up?" she asks, schooling her features while standing.

"If I need anything I'll get it myself, thank you though" you answered gently, once again, turning your attention to her.

"Alright, Wednesday?"

Wednesday clenches her jaw, her voice tight with irritation, "No."

With that, Enid walked towards the long line of students waiting for their breakfast. You softly sighed in relief, Enid was extra enthusiastic this morning. You looked down for a moment, just to gather some energy before addressing Wednesday.

"Sorry about that, she kind of just showed up," you said tiredly, before looking up to meet her gaze. Wednesday hasn’t moved from her spot, just staring at you. After a beat, she moves to the spot Enid previously occupied; moving to sit just as close, it surprised you.

“Wednesday?” you asked softly, so gently it made the squeezing in her chest loosen just slightly. Wednesday decides no one else gets the privilege of hearing how soft your voice can get.

“You are to stay by my side the rest of the day.” she proclaimed, surprising you even more.  

“But that’s not-” you tried to reject that idea, but Wednesday was not having that.

“It’s the weekend, there are no classes. You can spend the rest of the day with me without further issues.” you look at her face closely, seeing satisfaction cross her features for a fraction of a second before going back to her deadpan look.

You want to laugh at the absurdity of the demand, at how it makes you feel. You and Wednesday spend a lot of time together already, but hearing her say it out loud is hilarious. Does she not realize just how much time you spend together?

All you can manage is a small smile and a breathy laugh, unconsciously leaning into her. Causing her to look at you, eyes softening but also showing confusion. She doesn't understand why you're laughing. Before you could answer Enid comes back pouting, "Hey guys! Sorry, that took so long, the line was really long. They didn’t have any good things left,"

Your attention snaps away from Wednesday, and embarrassment colors your cheeks; you hadn't realized how close you and Wednesday were. Sitting up straight, you clear your throat before speaking, "It’s alright, the line looked long from here."

Enid sits down across from you, in her rightful spot Wednesday notes. She isn't sure why Enid seems so relentless in talking to you today. She watches the two of you converse; Wednesday watches how you put more space between the two of you, leaning more to your other side. You look tired, your eyes slightly drooping but still managing to be fully in your conversation with Enid. Her name pulls her from her thoughts, "Wednesday, you should go get some breakfast before they run out." Enid said.

"I'm not interested in mediocre-" you cut Wednesday off.

"You should eat something. You'll get hungry before lunch if you don't," you say gently. Wednesday is taken aback, she didn’t know you knew that about her.

"You need to eat too," Wednesday replies. She watches as you shake your head lightly, "I'm okay, I'm not too hungry right now. Go get something before they close the line down,"

Wednesday releases a sharp exhale, not liking how soft your voice is; at least in front of Enid. She doesn't like how it affects her either. Wednesday looks at you sharply, "Fine, but I'm getting you one thing and you will eat it. Understand?" she leaves before you can answer though.

You watch her stomp to the, now, empty line of students. Once Wednesday is out of earshot Enid asks, "Soo, have you guys kissed yet?" causing you to choke on air.

"What kind of question is that?" you cough out, cheeks promptly turning a deep red. You're fully awake now, "Enid, you can't just ask someone that question out of nowhere."

"We're practically besties, so I can. Now answer my question! I wanna know everything!" she says animatedly, a teasing glint in her eyes, watching you look down bashfully. Enid is fully aware you two haven't kissed. She just wants to put the idea in your head.

Your mind goes through every interaction you've had with Wednesday. Truthfully, kissing hadn't crossed your mind, too busy enjoying being with Wednesday to consider something that intimate. You're not even sure Wednesday would consider that,, kissing you. Now looking back on it, there had been ample opportunities to do so. Realizing this made the redness in your cheeks spread to your ears and neck, making Enid laugh.

Wednesday comes out of the line to see this; your head is down and everything from the neck up is red, blushing, and Enid looks to be ruthlessly teasing you. The scene causes something to burn inside her chest. Wednesday dislikes it, everything about it. What had Enid said to make you that red? Her feet are moving before she can comprehend it.

The sound of a tray loudly hitting the table startles you and Enid. Wednesday scans the table, you're still avoiding eye contact and Enid is sending her a proud smile. That smile irks Wednesday for an unknown reason. She reclaims her appropriate spot next to you before wordlessly sliding an apple in front of you.

Wednesday watches you silently take the apple and start eating it, whatever Enid has said to you is still affecting you. Wednesday despises the effect Enid has on you; she's glaring at Enid before she can think about it. All Enid does is send her a smirk and a wink before walking off, irritating Wednesday even more.

The rest of breakfast is blissfully quiet, aside from the quiet chewing from both you and Wednesday. Both of your thoughts are racing, both for different reasons. Your thoughts consist of what it would be like to kiss Wednesday, trying to desperately push that thought out so you can act somewhat normal. Her thoughts stuck on what Enid had done to make you react that way and how she, herself, could get you to react that way.

After finishing breakfast Wednesday stands quietly and offers her tray to put your trash on. Once the core of the apple settles next to her trash she walks to the nearest trashcan. You take a breath and shake your head, gathering what little thoughts you have. When Wednesday comes back you look at her and nod, signaling you're ready to leave.

Both of you are making your way through the doors of the dining hall when someone calls for you, "Hey cutie! You got any plans? I was gonna go hang out with Enid and the group later if you wanna join," both of you and Wednesday turn around to find Yoko.

You stupidly point at yourself, she laughs exuberantly in response and walks closer to you two. When she's close enough she wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you away from Wednesday and into her own personal space. It infuriates Wednesday, and the fire in her chest grows warmer. Before you can politely decline the invitation Wednesday barks out, "We already have plans,"

Yoko raises an eyebrow, "Oh yeah, like what? Sitting around and reading a boring old book? Doesn’t sound that entertaining to me," she refutes, antagonizing Wednesday.

"Don't be surprised if there's another garlic incident," Wednesday replies sharply, grabbing your hand and dragging you away. Completely missing Yoko shiver, turn to Enid, and whisper, "Please don’t make me do that again. I might actually die.."

The walk to the dorm was quick, not once did Wednesday let go of your hand. Her grip tighten halfway through when yet another person called out for you. She had no intention of letting anyone steal your attention away from her so she kept walking. When you both reached her room, she all but pushed you inside and closed the door harshly.

Wednesday took a few calming breaths before turning around to speak, "I didn’t realize you were so popular"

"yeah, I didn’t either," you reply, a laugh mixed with a sigh. You were tired, all these interactions so early in the morning were draining.

"Don’t-" Wednesday starts but quickly cuts herself off. She sharply exhales, miffed by how this whole situation affected her. She had no idea what she was feeling but she knew she didn’t like you being casually touched or someone else making you blush.

"Wednesday, are you okay?" you ask carefully, gently. It's something only Wednesday should get to hear, no one else should get the privilege — the pleasure. She decides no one else gets to have you the way she does, not in any capacity.

"What were you and Enid talking about earlier?" she asks, ignoring your concerns. She watches as your face turns red again, the burning sensation in her chest threatens to engulf her.

"She was just teasing me about tripping the other day," you lie through your teeth, hoping it’s a reasonable excuse. It's not, Wednesday sees right through it. She takes methodical steps towards you, hoping you don’t notice the fire in her eyes; hoping you don’t step away, you don’t, you never would. She's close now, close enough to feel her breath on your skin.

"You’re lying to me," she says evenly, not offended in the slightest. She watches your eyes travel every inch of her face, your attention fully on her, and the fire in her chest subsides slightly.

She watches your breath hitch, eyes landing on her lips more often than anything else on her face. Wednesday realizes then what the burning feeling was — jealousy. The burning acidity of jealousy that came with the thought of sharing you with someone else, the thought of losing you. No, she can't have that; no one else can have you.

"Look at me," she said quietly, not wanting to scare you away. She watches you tear your gaze away from her lips to look into her eyes. She sees something in your eyes, something akin to adoration and devotion. The same look is reflected in her own eyes. She likes that look in your eyes, she decides.

You hold eye contact, holding your breath; too afraid to disrupt the still air. Wednesday moves first, grabbing the collar of your shirt and dragging your lips to hers. It's not what you imagined your first kiss would be like, but the kiss emits overwhelming emotion. Both of you close your eyes to revel in the feeling. The feeling of her lips grazing yours is heavenly, nothing short of perfect.

You reach out to grab her jaw and the back of her neck, keeping her from leaving. Wednesday didn’t realize just how much she wanted this, needed to kiss you. Neither of you is sure how much time had passed, but it hasn't been long enough. Her lips unintentionally tremble with the overwhelming emotions she feels. You pull back then, afraid you went too far.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away-" you rushed out, moving to let go and step back but you're cut off.

"Again," Wednesday demands, reaching to pull you back, not ready to have your lips part from hers. Even as close as you are, it's not close enough. She wants to feel your body against hers and feel your lips on hers. She sees you smile before connecting your lips to hers.

Wednesday decides then that she doesn't want to live without the feeling of your lips on hers. She wants to make it a daily occurrence, wants to make it part of her daily routine. She could see herself becoming addicted to this feeling.

Wednesday has always been repulsed by her parent's displays of affection, but if this is how it feels then maybe she understands.

tags:@alexkolax @rainbow-love4ever @o638

[mara-tevith-solo]

One Enchanted Evening

Just a little Adam Warlock fluff. This MFer restarted my Will Poulter era and I stg... man’s too good for this world

Pairing: Adam Warlock x Ex-Avenger/ Guardian!Reader

Warnings: It’s fluff, mentions of drinking, Blurp being adorable, flirting, established relationship, making out

Rating: 18+

Words: 1.1k+

"C'mon Y/n! Let's go get pretty boy wasted for the first time! Drax, Nebula, and some of the others will be there!" Rocket called from the front door, sounding way too enthused with his little side quest as Adam smiled brightly, and innocently, beside him.

"I can't, I have to take over for Ullette tomorrow; her daughter is coming for a visit." You apologized with a breathy laugh, shaking your head at the two. "Don't poison yourself, Rocket. I'm betting a quarter mil that his alcohol tolerance is about as good as Steve's."  

"I'll take you up on that bet!" He laughed with pride and little foresight.

"Who's Steve?" Adam asked, cocking his head to the side slightly. There wasn't any jealousy there, just pure curiosity.

"He was one of Y/n's Super Soldier Earth pals, worked on the same team together for over a decade, stopped the world from ending a few times, we all reversed the Snap together about three years back. Good guy. Was hung up on a broad he used to know."

"What's a broad?"

"Its a term for a woman, though it's not so respectful. Y'all better get going before Drax pre-games too hard."  

"Alright alright, I'll keep lover boy out of trouble, swearsies."

Adam shifted on his feet, looking at Rocket's retreating form before looking at you like a puppy who didn't know which way to go. You placed your hands on his chest, the fabric of his t-shirt soft under your palms as you raised up onto your tip toes to press a kiss to his cheek "Don't let them drink too much. Last time a challenge like this happened, Drax had to have his stomach pumped."

"Should I be worried? Because I'd be more than happy to just stay home with you and we could finish that show and--"

"It'll be fine, Adam. Go have fun with the others. I'll still be here when you come back." You smiled teasingly before pushing him the rest of the way out the door, Rocket's crossed arms and exasperated expression in your peripherals, shaking his head at the two of you.

"Don't have too much fun without me." He finally conceded with a cheeky wink before turning and making to leave with the Raccoon.

As soon as the door closed, Blurp let out a soft little whine, making you turn back towards him with a small pout that turned into a frown as soon as you saw the sadness on his little face, the worry in his eyes that was always there whenever Adam left without him. You swooped up the little fuzzball and nuzzled your face against his "Oh, come on fluff, you can help me make some ice cream sundaes for us." You hummed as you began dancing to a phantom melody only you could hear, his eager agreements nearly busting him loose from your arms. You laughed as you set him on the counter, motioning for him to sit and stay while you went for ingredients.

It wasn't the first time the two of you had done the late night treat, the F'saki watching as you began making two bowls, his topped with Orloni jerky with strawberry sauce while yours was just a simple vanilla with hot fudge sauce. He was vibrating with anticipation as you picked up both bowls and began leading the charge back to the living room, being careful to not trip you on the way. He'd done it once, and only once. He'd gotten too excited and had zipped over your foot while you were beginning to take a step, resulting in you faceplanting into the hard wood covered cement floors, breaking your nose in the process. He'd felt so bad about it, and hadn't zipped anywhere near your feet since. He sat by the couch, tall and pretty as he waited for you to put his bowl down "There ya go, buddy. Enjoy!" You giggled softly as he dug in with a happy chirp. You curled up on the couch to enjoy yours. Afterwards, you didn't bother with the dishes, suddenly too exhausted, laying down just a bit to nap until Adam returned. Blurp was all too happy to join you, cuddling up on your stomach with happy little purrs, falling asleep well before you did.

"Y/n!" Adam's whispered shout pulled you out of a light doze, still curled up on the couch with Blurp, an excited Adam leaning over you both. Blurp didn't even flinch, just grumbling softly in his sleep as he curled up tighter, much like a sleepy, disgruntled cat. "Sorry!" He giggled, still whisper shouting "I figured it out!"

"Figured what out, handsome?" You hummed groggily, smiling sleepily up at the golden man who was smiling ear to ear at the endearment, a dreamy gleam in his eyes.

"Drax helped me figure out why my chest burns whenever I think of you... and when I'm around you... when we're apart... any time you're even mentioned really. He said that's how he felt about his Ovette. He called it 'love'." Your heart skipped a beat, realizing where the conversation was going. "He said that I need to make sure you know how I feel about you, that you never doubt how much I love you. And then he cried... a lot... he's very drunk..."

Your heart felt like it was soaring as you reached up and cupped his cheek, your fingers then moving to trace his jawline and his chin. He moved down with you, like he didn't want you to stop touching him, an intoxicated warmth to his eyes that wasn't from the liquor. When your lips touched you could swear it was unlike any kiss before, it was electrifying to your very core, your very soul. It made your breath stutter as one of his hands planted firmly on the couch by your shoulder as the other gripped your hip. "I love you too, Adam." You murmured against his lips, your voice feather light, just for his ears. His kiss became hungry, devouring everything that you gave him like a man starved, some of his hair falling into your face, the tickling sensation making your toes curl and your heart splutter.

He almost closed the distance between you, but Blurp squeaked in protest on your stomach, almost pouting up at him like you'd both mortally betrayed him "Sorry Blurp. But I need to borrow my love." He was gentle as he picked up the F'saki, usurping him of his position. The fuzzy being only huffed and went to steal your bed. Adam didn't give you a moment to laugh at the situation, swallowing the sound eagerly as his tongue begged for entrance, his hard length making its presence well known against your thigh. He moaned loudly as your tongue came out to play with his, your hips bucking up into him, begging for friction "Y/n, oh gods." He moaned, giving you the perfect opportunity to kiss and nip at his neck.  

[corpsebasil]

cant get over protective but slightly (slightly is a stretch) dark knight nikolai oh GOD

playing on the Grisha Disney princess power I mentioned in a previous post— VERH SHORT BUT JUST LOSTEN

Like imagine you’re dating a knight. Lets call him….idk. Kyle. HAHA

So this Kyle fellow is paranoid of Grisha. Sir Nikolai was around during the time that women were accused of being witches for their Grisha power SO, because you have that lovely Disney Princess Grisha power where you can speak to and befriend animals, your boyfriend is scared of you.

Meanwhile Nikolai dotes on you as much as he can. He isn’t afraid of your power—never has been—and if anything is completely enamored with the way you have deer, bunnies, and cute birds absolutely wrapped around your finger. You’re like a girl from a fairytale, you know? And he’s your brave knight.

At least he wants to be.

The day he found out that his fellow knight and your boyfriend was going to attempt to kill you—witchcraft is a horrible misconception for Grisha power—Nikolai has never ridden so fast to your adorable little cottage in his life.

You’ve barely gotten your glass of wine to your lips—you planned a romantic dinner complete with all of Sir Kyle’s favorites: roast lamb, baby potatoes, greens straight from the garden, fresh baked bread with butter, the whole nine yards—when your front door just slams open and Nikolai lunges for you.

Your shriek of surprise is enough time for him to yank your glass out of your hand, his nose immediately flying to the rim. Oh god. Then his head is turning slowly—so slowly—towards Sir Kyle, the other knight staring at his superior with a pale face.

“Drink it.” Nikolai says, offering the wine glass to the knight.

“I—Sir, I—”

“I said drink it. Did I fucking stutter?”

When it’s clear he won’t comply you’re beyond confused. Even more so when Nikolai grabs the man and makes him drink it, one hand prying his mouth open while the other works at his throat, triggering the muscles for him to swallow.

Works every time.

But then.

But then Sir Kyle is gagging and shaking, foaming at the mouth as whatever poison he put into your drink kicks in. Nikolai immediately has you by the arms, holding you to him, ignoring your gasping and shocked cries for help.

“He tried to kill you.”

“You don’t know that—!”

“He wanted you dead, Y/N.” He’d grab your face harshly in one hand and force you to look at him. “You’re telling me that being able to talk to bunnies is an excuse to kill you? Look around, Y/N.” He’d grip your chin harder and force you to acknowledge the weapons and religious memorabilia your boyfriend had stored around the cottage.

Nikolai forced you to realize your boyfriend had tried to kill you. The same man that had insisted that your gift for whispering to birds is creepy and—

Hold on.

Imagine one morning Nikolai is planning to visit you (how could he not, you’re the sweetest girl he’s ever met) and he sees you reading a fairytale to about six baby deer. They’ve got their heads on your lap, your legs, cuddled up against you, your powers allowing them the ability to understand as you rub their velvet ears and giggle whenever they nibble at your dress. So freaking cute I stg.

Nikolai knows you aren’t some evil witch. He cares about you so much you don’t even know it.

But when he sees you crying over a man that tried to kill you he has no patience left. He’s digging his fingers into your cheeks and staring down at you—his love—and insisting this was the only way.

Sure enough, weeks later, you’re sitting on the ground in the forest.

Omg WAIT—DRABBLE—

You’re sitting alone, one hand running over the snoozing fawn that’s head is in your lap as you relax in the meadow, surrounded by trees and flowers as you enjoy the forest. The mother of the baby deer lays just beside you, her nose touching your leg as she dozes in the Sun.

You love these animals more than your fellow humans at this point.

The knowledge that your former lover tried to poison you is hard to ignore. You’d trusted him—loved him—and he’d wanted to kill you all because of superstition.

Not Nikolai.

You heard the sound of footsteps and looked up to see Sir Nikolai, Captain of the guard, walking slowly towards you with a basket in hand. These days the animals barely react to him. At first they’d needed lots of reassurance; since he couldn’t understand them as you could this resulted in lengthy debates over your safety, knights in general, and whether they’d be killed for sport. You’d assured them that no, they’d be fine.

So now the baby deer is snoring softly, it’s head on your thigh, your fingers trailing gently over its ears as you smile at Nikolai. He’s so sweet. So sweet. He asked you to try to teach him to talk to animals but you explained it was a skill somehow woven into your DNA. He laughed every time dozens of small birds landed on his shoulders. He grinned when your deer friends nudged him with their heads, earning boyish laughter from the knight.

He was so sweet with them.

And with you.

He sits beside you now, chin propped casually upon your shoulder as you read the story aloud. Even though your cheeks are pink and hot you continue, barely flinching when he reaches out to run his fingers through your soft, silky hair. It’s long now at this point—long and woven with flowers. When he leans in to breathe in the scent of one you pause, turning your face to look at him.

He’s so close.

God.

His grin is so utterly attractive you find yourself smiling back, one hand on the fawn’s head as you pause your story. The only reason why he doesn’t kiss you is the irritated noise the deer makes, it’s little head lifting to shoot an almost annoyed look at Nikolai.

You smile.

“They’re impatient.” You explain, tickling the fawn’s head. It’s mother is nudging your thigh with her head, making a small noise of complaint. “Such sweet creatures. You know they—”

You’re cut off when he kisses you, one hand touching your face as he leans in, pouring all of his love and devotion into the single gesture.

Of course you respond.

How could you not?

STOPPP NIKOLAI WITH BABY DEER RUNNING AROUNF HAS ME GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET

[miquella-everywhere]

Hi, I'm pretty sure that Miquella is calling the player his loyal blade in that cutscene, not Malenia? He also calls you champion of the festival. The festival didn't exist pre-Battle of Aeonia, and the player is the one standing in front of him.

Also I just wanted to express disappointment in the dlc I mean? Miquella was supposed to be the main character and he deserved to have more information about him. But we don't even really get information about him aside from his ridiculous choice in consort and that he made use of Mohg's corpse?

I also don't understand why people are blaming him for that. He wasn't the one that killed Mohg, the Tarnished did. We did. And we didn't do it solely and specifically for Miquella's sake. Mohg was a shardbearer, we were after the Great Rune and other rewards. Miquella just made use of the body afterward. Which isn't moral obviously, but morality isn't exactly a major concern in Elden Ring. What Ranni did to Godwyn wasn't super moral either, but I see significantly more hate for Miquella over using Mohg's body (possibly recency bias).

Like, what was his plan, just sit there in his cocoon and wait for someone to kill Mohg one day? Miquella using Mohg's body seems like something that became the plan in light of his being kidnapped. Unless Miquella astral projected to Mohgwyn Palace to bewitch him into ripping him from his Haligtree, which just seems so? Stupid. It's a stupid plan and it's not the same Miquella that built the pulley bow, or the needles. There was a lot of room to work with to create a morally ambiguous Miquella and they went with the route that makes his character not even about him. The dlc is about Mohg and Radahn. It's about Marika and the Formless Mother. Not Miquella. Which sucks. Trina was severely underutilized too.

ajdhsjshskdh youre okay its not that big of a spoiler 😂

But yeah it's very disappointing regarding the route they decided to take with Miquella and how, infuriatingly, Radahn seems to have gotten the biggest lore drop despite the DLC supposedly being about the most enigmatic Demigod in the base game. Every single time I think "radhan? Really????" whenever there's more force fed-lore about him. Gaius pisses me off with his albinauric status despite the race being wholly loyal to Miquella(and also Loretta whole deal hello????? Gaius is a discount Loretta I stg), and him being besties with Messmer?

😒 How annoying....

What about the other Demigods goddamnit. And Rykards line of "a snake never dies, i will return" gives more evidence behind an appearance in the DLC and yet radahn is the fucker they choose to resurrect despite having no indication of him returning, THE STARS FINALLY BEING FREE WITH HIS DEATH, and having absolutely zero connection with Miquella in the base game.

Horrendous writing there Fromsoft 👏 A round of applause for how you managed to nuke your lore with such a shit decision 👏

And yeah, Mohg. The way I see it, the whole context behind the kidnapping situation is now so vague and open ended it doesn't really matter how you theorize what went down; Miq could've been bewitched Mohg to kidnap him, or Mohg kidnapped Miq because he's a freak and Miq merely had to go along with it because he had no other choice. But yeah, its all up to interpretation at this point. No one is wrong and no one is right.

And yet despite Mohg having received no response from the young Empyrean, Ainsbach could apparently confront Miquella with no problem. What is continuity? What is logic?

*Sigh* But yeah this honestly sucks.

I came into the DLC expecting some conclusions to certain things, and now I'm left with more frustrating questions and plotholes than satisfying answers :( It blows imo

And yeah Trina was severely underutilized 😭 I was expecting for sleep to play a bigger role but she was sadly reduced to a single area and a rehashed sword.

#JusticeforStTrina💤

[peaky-shelby]

PSG don’t deserves Kylian, I hope he goes to Real there he’ll have real chances to win big titles.

ALRIGHT SIT DOWN, LETS HAVE A CHAT,,,

Today has been extra dramatic for me. So dramatic that instead of crying I'm laughing bc YK how it is when shit after shit happens and you just get immune.

Thank you for sending this ask because i can snap at PSG and release all my anger at them.

I wanna start of by saying that i love these man. Some more than others. Messi has been my idol, Neymar and Kylian are in my opinion two of the best players of our time. Kylian, specifically has a long future ahead of him, unless he messes it up for himself. Hakimi, kimpembe, Verratti, Ramos, Soler, Marquinhos, donnarumma,

ALL OF THEM are great.

ALL OF THEM are also PARIS SAINT GERMAIN.

Its not about PSG deserving its players. It's about the players HONORING THE FUCKING TEAM. you take Kylian out of the equation or Neymar or Messi and pretend they are above it and that's the first mistake right there.

Kylian IS PSG.

Therefore he is a part of the problem just like all the other players. And of course the problem is bigger than the players, we are seeing horrible management, coaching and strategy on every game and it's not just because of the players BUT WAIT A SECOND cause last 20 minutes of this match and they were oN FIRE. definition of if they wanted to they could. And I'm not talking about winning. IM TALKING ABOUT TRYING. I'm talking about working as a team on the field. GIVING US A GAME WORTH WATCHING. Because at the end of the day they are the ones kicking the ball. And YESSS if management doesn't get it's shit together, it makes it all so much harder for the players, but we have world class players that could be bringing home trophy after trophy and they are falling apart like Legos.

So for me "PSG doesn't deserve ________" does not stand. No matter if you are talking for Messi, ney or anyone else. Wether they like it or not they are wearing that goddamn uniform and until they take it off they need to act like it. I'd be happy to see Kylian in real Madrid, winning big titles but I'll root for that when the transfer happens. For now i need him and everyone else on that fucking shithead of a team to find a way to work together. Ramos and Hakimi can't be the only ones chasing the ball, while everyone else sits and watches. STG DUNNARUMMA WAS IN MORE CONTANT WITH THE BALL THAN ANY OF THE MIDFIELDERS AND DEFENDERS. HOW IS THAT FUCKING HAPPENING???

And honestly i have no idea why this is happening. We can make assumptions but we will never know. I just hope and pray that they'll fix it soon because I'm on my last straw.

For legal reasons i apologize to anyone that sent this ask. This was not pointed at you. I love you. I'm just so angry at them😭😭😭

[bunnyreaper]

hello, anon with the boyfriend (can i dub myself 🍇? is that a thing i can do?) responding to both you and that other anon!

how does one like... can i get tmi real quick? wait we were talking about fingering this has got to be okay ignore me if not but like i've tried to mention stuff in the pasttttttt about like stuff that i like. especially dirty talk or god even just sounds in general because this man is extremely quiet and i've mentioned it a few times before and like other stuff too and i feel like it doesn't change ): like idk if i just wasn't saying it i guess seriously enough or convincing enough maybe?

how do you guys get the courage(? i think) to talk about that stuff? am i just dumb? especially when it comes to me like actually finishing because if i don't manage to finish before he does then i just... don't get to at all 🙃 like do you guys just full send it and it just works?

anyway sorry this is tmi but i need to change something soon i stg 😭

YOU ARE NOW GRAPES BABY!!

If you are mentioning that you're into something, what is his response? Does he say that it sounds good and never acts on it?

Because reading between the lines here, and I'm sorry, your bf sounds fucking selfish. It's hard to build that courage anyway, but especially so if you feel like your needs aren't the priority because you've been made to feel that way by a neglectful partner. I know he and your relationship will be multifaceted, but this is no bueno!

you need to sit him down properly and explain like "hey im sure this isn't what you intended but I feel X because of Y and I would appreciate if you did Z, does that sound good to you?"

Imma be real with you. Some men are lazy as fuck and settle for giving the bare minimum (yes everyone does it ofc but you know), my boyfriend is guilty of it sometimes too, and at this point in life I just have to stop giving a fuck. Like sometimes he'll say to me "I feel bad because I cum a lot more than you do." And i just say "Then put in the effort to make me cum?"

Bcs SOMETIMES you just gotta be blunt!!

AND look it's easy for me to give this advice but I find it so hard to take it myself, so I'm still there with you learning! Any input from anyone else is appreciated as always ❤️

[incorretlynamedcambrianexplosion]

Sit Still

First post on the side blog lets goo. Have this to chew on!

Ao3 Link

Summary:

Rain has a thing for Mountain roaming around without shoes, gets carried away during an innocent massage, and gets used as a drum kick for it.

AN:

I'd like to note that I use the word 'kit' in this only in reference to a drum kit, I do not intend for it to be read as age play in any shape of that. Like there's a part where he calls Rain his kit, and I mean that to be objectifying. Course, I can't control how you read it, but it was not my intention. Also I stg that I can write outside of smut, I have the greenhouse trio thing planned, and a Rain/Dew fic up my sleeve, just wait for it. Also to the bestie who I let read this as the reward for wrapping up our exam study lysm!!! Enjoy the finished thing.

Relationships: Mountain/Rain

Tags: Very light/mild foot fetish, stepping kink, mild objectification.

Many of the ghouls had little quirks. Dew had his affinity for the stage pyrotechnics, Phantom occasionally got lost too far in his own head that he didn't realize that he was sparking, Cumulus and Cirrus would gather to watch the storms, unknowingly making them worse with their energy. Mountain spent his fair time in the greenhouse, but the real eccentricity was his lack of footwear. He'd wander the halls in socks, or be just barefoot in more personal areas like the resident commons or the greenhouse.

Most of them never questioned it. Usually it was left to 'that's how he is', and everyone carried on as usual. The newer summons didn't question it, and older ones just tried to ignore it. Except Rain, who was currently laying on his bed as the other read through another thick book on horticulture, as if he didn't already scour the library for each volume twice. Rain's hands were prone to wandering when they laid together as they dug into deep knots in his calves from his daily work. They moved further down, Rain shifting to move himself in turn lower, and pressed the worn tendon to his ankle softly before taking Mountain's heel into his hand.

Mountain let out a hum as Rain pressed his thumb's knuckle into the worn muscle. Those fingers moved lower and lower, eventually Rain gave up on stretching his arm out inevitably just deciding to move to the foot of his bed. Thankfully, the mattress was long enough for him to accommodate both his body and Mountain's, even if Mountain was sitting with bent legs and half curled up by the headboard.

He held his foot between his thighs as he pressed his thumb into the tough tissue feeling the joints work and move inside. He pressed the balls of his feet, rubbing away aching pain from long hours of standing that he knew hurt the other's knees after enough time. Not to mention the fact that Mountain didn't wear shoes during practice, and that had to kill after the fourth song. Rain didn't mean to move his foot closer, but he wanted a better angle, and maybe if he angled it just right it would brush against-

"Whaddya think you're doing, Raincloud?" Mountain asked lifting his eyes from his book with a soft smile.

Rain lowered his head mumbling something out while moving his hands back to the top of his feet and away from himself. Just as he did so, Mountain pulled his foot back positioning it again a few inches away from him. His face warmed when Mountain stretched out, moving dangerously close to him as he unfurled his leg.

"Thought I'd help." He muttered stumbling through wordchoice. "I-uh."

"You could've just asked." Mountain stretched out making a display of it as he did so. He arched his feet pressing them down right down onto Rain.

He exhaled, clearly trying to keep his breathing steady even if he rocked up into the foot in a needy fashion. On more than one occasion, he had wandered over to Mountain's kit during a show just to watch him work. Not that he had any real clue about what made what sound on the damn thing, but he certainly liked watching him work his legs on the kick.

And Mountain knew that damn well, too.

"Get on the floor."

Rain was nothing if not good at following orders, evident by how he quickly scrambled to kneel on the floor below his mattress. Mountain closed his book, setting it to the side before moving to the edge of the bed and sitting up. His foot slowly moved up Rain's thigh from his knee before coming to rest on the seam of his jeans. He adjusted his foot position a few times, rolling it against Rain as he got comfortable.

"You always come wandering by my kit. Always trying to look through the cracks. Is this why? You wanted to know what it must be like." Mountain answered for him as Rain whined softly. "You just always wanted to see me work, didn't you?"

He pressed down gently increasing the pressure on that seam just to listen to how Rain whimpered and dug his claws into his own thighs to try and stop himself from rocking forward into it. Mountain smiled with a twisted idea as he started to gently bounce his foot, well less bouncing and more just varying the pressure of it to a beat only heard in his head.

Rain spread his thighs further and started to close his eyes to escape Mountain's attention, which clearly failed when hands found his curly, shaggy hair. His head was pulled up gently, and he could only be thankful that it wasn't by the horns. Apparently Mountain thought that stepping on him was enough pain for him.

"No. Look at me." Mountain instructed. "Want to hear what I'm thinking? Can you guess what I'm playing?"

He continued in silence for a few moments to allow Rain the chance to get his bearings. The other closed his eyes again thinking. He recognized this, it was the base of one of their songs, one that was heavy with deep rumbling kick.

"It's Cirice."

Mountain smiled and ran his fingers though his hair rewarding him by scratching his scalp. "Good boy."

Rain would've melted at that, if another stomp didn't send sparks up his spine and straighten him right back out with a sharp inhale. Mountain reached over the mattress fumbling a phone for a moment struggling to tap it a few times with his claws out. Either way, in a few moments he was turning up the volume and setting it on the desk close to Rain's head in the cramped room.

It played the song from the beginning, and Mountain adjusted his footing. Rain's eyes went wide as he caught his breath and untangled his claws from their spot tearing into his jeans.

"You ready? Now, I need you to sit perfectly still, okay? Can't have my kit moving around."

Rain nodded swallowing thickly. A wet spot already formed on the front of his jeans, and even if he couldn't see the dark denim, he could certainly feel it with every press of Mountain's foot. The tinny sound of the phone's small speakers rattled in his brain, telling him that in three seconds the drums would kick in and hard; Mountain would be following along for every beat.

He held his breath for those three notes and suddenly that foot came down. Rain whined almost flinching away from the harsh treatment but unable to deny how simply good it felt to have that foot on his covered dick. Mountain moved his hands to an imaginary kit keeping tempo with his foot and every press on the very specific seam that ran over Rain's dick. He kept his positioning with his toe hovering over the head pressing against Rain's zipper before pressing the balls of his feet down.

Rain chuckled when a small thump came down onto his head right between his horns before moaning when it was in time with a stomp to his cock. The balls of the feet that he was just massaging were brutally pressing down on him, punishing him for being so needy. His breathing picked up as the music died down for the small bridge of the song and Mountain kept the pressure on.

He twisted his foot a bit trying to hide it under the guise of adjusting again. Rain looked up pleadingly with wet eyes.

Mountain just smiled as he leaned forward, putting more pressure on his leg. "What, Rainy? You're gonna ruin the bridge. This is the part we're supposed to stay quiet. You know that, don't you?"

Slowly he nodded and was rewarded a soft pat to his head.

"Good boy." Mountain whispered to him lifting his foot off. Rain caught his breath in the short moment before stepping it back down.

Rain's head was foggy with the mix of pain and pleasure. The music by his head sounded distant even if punctuated with every step of Mountain's large foot. A cool blush ran down his face and neck as his claws itched to dig into Mountain's leg to hold it to his dick and just let him rut against his foot.

The seam of his jeans shifted through all this, and started to catch on the head of his cock with each kick. Rain whined feeling just a small bit of drool escape the corner of his mouth as Mountain's foot adjusted on him again. In the final few moments of the song when Mountain pressed down hardest and left his foot there grinding, Rain nearly sobbed as cum was wrung out of him by that twisting foot. His shoulders tensed and his claws found purchase in Mountain's rolled up pant leg straining his forearms as he held on, as if that would make the pain and pleasure more bearable.

Mountain cooed at him, paused the music on his phone, and brought a hand down to Rain's jaw tilting his head back up. His foot turned less violent and switched to softer caresses as Rain twitched below him in the mess of his jeans.

"There you go baby." He murmured wiping away drool with his thumb. "If that's what you wanted from the start, you just had to ask me."

Rain just nodded letting his eyes fall hooded. Suddenly, Mountain leaned back and arched his foot in his direction.

"My kick got my foot dirty. Do you mind?" He asked knowing damn well that the cum that seeped through the fly of Rain's jeans coated the bottom of his foot.

Wordlessly, Rain tilted his head forward and licked a stripe of his own cum off the balls of his feet. Even if he was starting to come down from his high and his mind made him want to grimace, his dick twitched, sticky and limp at his thigh. He groaned tasting his own cum, a ritual Mountain seemed to always get off on, always feeding him his own spend as he came back down.

When Mountain was satisfied, he lowered his foot smiling.

"Honestly even if you weren't going to, I was still going to make you grab a towel. I'm not walking around with cum on my foot." He said with a humorous lilt to his tone.

Rain rolled his eyes as he tried to get feeling back to his legs by unfolding them and rolling his ankles around. "Uh-huh. I'm sure you wouldn't." Now he was faced with the problem of trying to get back to his room without anyone seeing the very noticeable stain on his jeans, or walk back in a pair of Mountain's sweatpants. Both were as good as an admission of what they'd done.

"Change out of that before you lay down." Mountain complained gesturing his head to his closet when Rain stood on shaking legs.

"You didn't seem to mind last time. Since when'd you get so touchy about cum?"

"Since when did you have a foot thing?" Mountain shot back as he leaned against the head board picking his horticulture book back up as if he didn't just stomp Rain's dick like a drum kick, as if Rain didn't just bust from that and was left to reluctantly grab a pair of oversized sweatpants.

[eternal-nyx]

1 MONTH ON T

 10/25/2023-11/21/2023

Days 29 - 56

Today is day 29 of my HRT diary! Holy shit! As of writing this, I have just taken my 5th injection.  Let's throw together a quick little list of the changes we've seen during month 1. 

Day 29

October 25th 2023

Hygiene: 

Looking into buying a new deodorant. Mine is slowly stopping working and I need to use so much more of it. My feet stink! I don't even wear socks or shoes. I never leave my house!!!!! This is wild. My body odor in my underarms is very much locker room stank, and my under-breasts smell like old taco bell. The amount of showers....JFC, 

NSFW: 

One inch of growth in the first month. Not mad about that at all. This thing is a plump little monster let me tell you. I get random erections, like a teenage boy. Sitting in the car? Erection that tingles and itches. Eating pizza with my family? Erection that makes me have to shift my weight, but I can't escape it! Crying over my broken bong? Yup. Erection there too. Fuck you, tick tack dick. 

I own an entire box of toys. I have a very healthy sex life and a partner who is more than willing to assist. But no matter what I try, it doesn’t STOP. And it’s not emotional its physical. I can FEEL this…..tingling? Fullness? I expected sensitive, and I expected wanting to have sex more. But being PHYSICALLY aroused more when I just wanna take a nap? Or watch tv?

Peeing is weird. I was just sitting on the toilet, peeing like one does, and I COUGHED. And my pee YEETED onto the wall instead of going in the toilet. Like....henh? The urethra in the AFAB anatomy isn't anywhere near the clit. The fuck is happening? Well. Whatever, guess this is life now. 

If my boobs don't stop feeling bruised soon I STG I might just cut them off myself. Holy fuck. Ow. 

Appetite: 

Early on I had some increased appetite that I actually benefitted from a lot. It helped me combat my ARFID ED, and was a welcome change. Though, now it's starting to taper out as nausea and PMS symptoms kick in. Hoping it comes back as my cycles hopefully cease.

Body Hair: 

Acne in places I never thought I would get it but here we are. Ass acne? Breast Acne? Thigh? Sure. I have Hidradenitis suppurativa (HS), also called acne inversus, I'm used to that shit. But my NECK?! MY SCALP? MY FUCKIN ELBOW?! The hell?! 

Vocal:

Yeaaaaaaaaaa we dropped ya'll. I'm a raspy, cracky, little bitch but OH I am loving it. I can't wait to see where it settles. 

Here are some things I wrote during earlier weeks about vocal changes:

October 18th 2023 

Night 21-Morning of Day 22

Overnight my voice really started to drop into a raspiness. It's like the beginnings of Laryngitis but instead of squeaking I'm rasping. That said, the rasping feels soothing on those sore areas of my throat. Using my voice in this comfortable range seems to help progress it without hurting it. 

October 13th 2023

Day 17 

Talking voice has begun to crack

October 16th 2023

Day 20

I think my voice just DROPPED

My throat hit an all time sore today. 

I was rubbing it and gargling numbing medicine and water. I'd taken the max dosage allowed for OTC ibuprofen and Tylenol every 6 hours on the DOT. I even took an extra of my fibromyalgia pain management medication. I had trouble eating, vaping (nicotine), smoking (medical weed), and also literally had chose my food based on what would help my throat or at least not hurt it further. I even spent parts of the day silent and nonverbal to try to sooth it and let it rest. 

However, I found that to be counter productive. I realized that using my voice in a comfortable chest voice range helped to sooth some of the tenderness. So I sung some poor man's poison and some seether. Then I went back to not talking again. It just HURT all morning. It's even affected my sleep. The throat pain bothers me more than the clit sensitivity. 

Just now, before typing this, the pain started to subside and all of a sudden my voice is like gravely and feels like I'm talking from my breastbone and not my throat. 

October 17th 2023

Day 21

The sore throat is less intense and no where near as constant. It comes and goes and so does my voice. Sometimes its normal, sometimes raspy.

Body General:

My mother noticed a change in my face shape during a video call. She said I look more like my father. 

I've noticed a change in my over all torso shape, however I'm not sure if it's due to weight loss, as I've lost 20 lbs, or the T redistributing things. Could be both I suppose. 

Menstruation:

I took pregnancy tests every single day I was late to be safe. All remained negative

After being intimate with my partner this morning, she informed me there was blood. I went to inspect, and sure enough, my flow started. My cramps are intermittent but normal for me in the moderate to severe range. So far the actual flow is light. Continuing to monitor changes. 

Misc:

Shaved off my face a few weeks back to monitor the new growth more accurately. Starting to feel itchy stubble on the chin. Here we go. 

Moody AF. Might talk about increasing my Cymbalta dosage actually. It's kind of intense.

[blot-squisher]

I just remembered about bubba! Can we have a SFW alphabet with him please?💛

He's so sweet, I'm so glad I get to do one for him! Also, in STG Leatherface is kind of a combination of both the Sawyer and Hewitt versions from the different films.

SFW Alphabet Ask Meme for Surviving the Game Leatherface

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)  Thomas is a huge love bug. He loves hugging people and if you're smaller than him (most people are) he'll pick you up and carry you around just because he can.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) You were nice to him, and now he's your best friend. Get used to having a giant puppy following you around! Thomas is going to be curious about everything you do, and if you invite him to help he'll do his best with whatever it is.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Sitting, standing, laying down. Doesn't matter. If he can cuddle you, he will. He's especially fond of playing with peoples hair.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) If settle down means living and working on the family farm for the rest of his life, then he's already kind of living the dream! It's a little different in the Realm, especially without the rest of his family around, but he's making due. At least the house is the same. Thomas's definition of 'clean' is a place for everything, and everything in its place. Everything. You... probably don't want him to cook though.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) He would eat them. Literally. Just cause it's over doesn't mean he doesn't want to keep you around. Your femur would make a nice lamp come to think of it.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Thomas knows what marriage is and what's expected of married people. However, he's not quite ready for that kind of commitment.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) Thomas is incredibly aware of his strength but has trouble reining it most of the time. Just politely ask him to ease up and he will. Only malicious if he thinks his family or friends are in danger, Bubba is usually a lot more aware of peoples feelings than some of the others. Until it comes to food anyway. He's not a picky eater and just doesn't get why so many of the others get uncomfortable when he offers them food.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) He loves hugs, both giving and receiving. Take a deep breath if you can, because 90% of the time he puts his all into his hugs.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) Very fast, but he'll be showing you instead of telling you. Handmade gifts are his go to.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Thomas doesn't really get jealous, but he does get extremely protective. If you start hanging out with someone he thinks doesn't have your best interests at heart, he's going to make it known. And if they do hurt you? He's going to make a mask out of their face....

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss their partner? Where do they like to be kissed?) Although he isn't one to kiss others, a kiss on the cheek or forehead will turn him into a giggling mess.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Bubba loves kids. They're usually super easy to entertain and they don't scream at him or call him rude names.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Up with the sun so you can feed the animals and start the daily chores before breakfast.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Relaxed. Bubba isn't much of a night owl, so a good hearty dinner, a bath, then bed is always a safe bet.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Thomas will gladly show you every picture he has of his family the first time you come over. He misses them and getting to introduce you through old picture albums is as close to meeting them as he knows he'll ever get.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Believe it or not, Thomas isn't a particularly angry person. Of course, the smallest hint of a threat to his home, friends, or family will have him swinging his chainsaw in the blink of an eye.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about their partner? Do they remember every little detail they mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) He remembers everything! Keeping traditions and memories alive is important after all.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in their relationship?) Food is absolutely his love language, and the first time you actually ate what he cooked for you will always remain as one of his favorite moments.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect their partner? How would they like to be protected?) You get so much as a paper cut and he's coming in hammer at the ready. Careful not to watch any scary movies with him, because the first time you jump or scream, that hammer is going through the TV... You want to protect him? You're going to make him cry. He's so used to being the one doing the protecting, seeing you stand up for him in any way will earn you one of his patented back breaking hugs.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) For you, all the effort. Because you're worth it.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Just... stay out of the basement and leave that question unanswered...

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) There's a reason he wears a mask but it isn't really a vanity thing. Thomas was bullied and made fun of by a lot of people growing up. Wearing a mask makes him feel safe.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without their partner?) He's already lost his entire family. Losing his partner would be a very heavy blow.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Thomas can speak but has a very bad speech impediment. It may have been something he could have lessened to a degree if he'd been provided with proper speech therapy at a young age, but it never happened.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) Don't barge in, always knock first. (He has a bad habit of just barging in anyway, but he's also not worried about catching a hammer to the dome)

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?) Bubba can and will pass out anywhere and in less than a minute. He tends to wake up just as fast and no one's really sure how the hell he does it.

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 2x02 recap

Guess who’s back with even more thoughts?? 2x02 time let’s gooo

Ugghhhh the location of this ‘prison’ is gonna haunt me I stg. These damn hills are so familiar to me and yet I cannot pinpoint where the bloody thing is. Looks like this will be on my list to hunt down next year ugh 

Okay all of these security checks seem excessive when there is literally going to be a glass barrier between them anyway?? Also last ep Nadia got to bring in her bag but it seems like Thony didn’t? C'mon show I need consistency here lol. Tbh I’m sad that they don’t get to use the visitation room from 1x10 anymore, bc lbr we all know how much I wanted them to be able to touch their feet together under the table bc they can't hold hands lol

Anyway the important thing is that my boy is back on his feet, which makes me want to know how long has passed since his attack? Like a week? Seems like an appropriate amount of time to recover from multiple stab wounds and to be back in GenPop… tbh it can’t really be longer than a week given the state of his facial swelling. Also I’m gonna assume that he and Thony haven’t spoken since the call last ep, but he’s probably been able to speak to Nadia, and she has passed on updates to both sides?? So Thony knows about the attack, and he knows about Marco, even if neither of them have details?

But oh man the utter dismay on Thony’s face when she sees him, this is what I live forrrr. Did he know that his visitor was her? Or did he assume it was Nadia, and that’s why he looked like he was steeling himself to deal with her drama (lbr, she’s highly-strung lol) when he walked in?? But ugh instead he seems to slump a little and gives a sigh when he sits down across from her; he looks so tired and I love that he doesn’t have to hide that in front of her the way he would for Nadia 

“Look what they did to you”-- omg. This is literally the closest to wearing her heart on her sleeve that Thony has ever gotten and I'm dying?? The emotion in it?? The very not-platonic intensity??? Ngl I also love that her first words are such an inane statement, like she is literally so overwhelmed rn that she can barely even do words. (especially since the words that were probably screaming in her head from the moment she saw him were some very intense ones in Khmer, and I would have died to have heard her speak those aloud lol) 

But wait wtf excuse me how dare the scene cut there??? That better not be all we get or I will riot???

Also ugh Garrett. I don’t caaaare about you. Although it is handy that our baes are still able to go ahead and bribe the judge lol. Wait, Russo is leaving to go to Miami? I wonder if this is a plot thing or a ‘the actor wants out’ thing?? I will actually miss her ugh

Oh thank god we’re back at the prison. (words that people other than me probably never say lol). And okay I love that she literally came to visit Arman the moment he was out of the infirmary, even before Nadia it seems?? And ugh he asks about Luca (again, I’m assuming he already knew about Marco through Nadia, and lbr I’m probably going to do a fill-in fic for the rest of the conversation at some point lol) but anyway oh lord “how are you holding up?” and THEN “I feel like I’ve failed everyone” followed by DIRECT EYE CONTACT and ugghhhhh he knows she’s not just talking about Marco and Luca anymore and god he looks like he wants to hug her so badly (that little head tilt as he leans in?? help??) and he immediately makes it clear that he doesn’t blame her and she shouldn’t blame herself either ughhh. Also I love the choice the writers made here by having him be so soft when reassuring Thony and then only getting sharp/frustrated when talking about Nadia hahaha

“Be careful in here”/“That’s not how you survive”-- Wow, what a great character study in only a handful of words?? Also this feels like it’s going to be one of the themes this season, like the S2 version of “not the right way or the wrong way, but any way you can”. But oh man poor Thony is going to be extra worried about him now… as she watched him walk away, was she suddenly afraid that this might be the last time she'd ever see him alive??

Garrett has a very impressive habit of showing up where he’s not wanted. (Although to be fair, he’s not wanted anywhere, so…). Ngl though it does look kinda bad for her to be visiting Arman at this point in time given that she’s meant to be the grieving widow. Also “I know you had nothing to do with your husband’s death” sure sounds a lot like “I suspect that you had something to do with your husband’s death” lol. But he actually genuinely does seem to want to help her still, which he chooses to do by not shutting up about her staying away from Arman. Good luck with that one, buddy. God I love how pissed she looks when he brushes off Arman’s attack as ‘bad guys taking each other out’ omg. Honestly how was I ever afraid that this show would try to pull a Garrett/Thony/Arman love triangle, she literally cannot stand him like 90% of the time and it’s glorious hahahahaaaaaaa

“I’m here because Arman saved Luca’s life, and he deserves to know that he’s safe”. omg. Thony. That is… that is so incredibly weak?? like at least come up with a better explanation?? She literally basically went with “oh yeah my boss helped get surgery for my son like a two and a half weeks ago so now I am visiting him in prison to tell him that my son is now safe and sound after being abducted by his now-dead father, which was an event that by all accounts he should have had no idea about in the first place.” WHY WOULD THIS CONCERN YOUR TOTALLY PLATONIC ‘BOSS’, THONY? Like god you are doing an amazing job of announcing to Garrett that yours and Arman’s relationship is far more than just professional (though lbr, they all already know this lol.)

Oh hi again, ABQ airport!  I remember you well haha. Also omg Fi’s dad is so little? And her mum is beautiful, wow– though she really doesn’t look much older than Fi herself haha. This is going to irk me a tiny bit but I guess I can roll with the idea she had kids very young?? And damn Thony really is persona non grata with these guys huh? So much for “my mother always loved you more than me” like Fi said in early S1… 

Oh wow it feels weird to get subtitles for the Tagalog?? I’m so used to the show making us just figure it out ourselves. But I guess they were a bit more necessary to follow the plot this time. Also the cheerfulness/excitement of the greeting at home feels a bit weird considering they’re there because of a death in the family, but I guess it is a pretty special reunion/first meeting all the same? Man bereavement is weird.

Okay I am going to need to go back and look at kitchen scenes from S1 bc I stg there wasn’t a door there before. And who has a front door that opens directly into the kitchen anyway?? But I do like the look of this Detective Flores, she seems badass (and that accent is hot), even if her presence is immediately stressful lol. I'll ignore the fact that there's no way it would have taken a detective this long to come and question Thony about Marco though, it's been like a week!! Anyway I love that after the extremely uncomfortable response to her questioning/accidentally starting a family fight she’s like ‘ok yeah I’mma go’ and Thony is immediately like ‘oh god thank you’ lolll 

Okay potentially unpopular opinion here, but I just can’t see Nadia and Robert as being a thing?? I mean I could believe that they were previously together (he’s handsome and rich, and Nadia is very attracted to power, after all), but they don’t have the chemistry of two people who were once in love. He has more the vibe of someone who is looking at something he once possessed and wants to add back to his collection, not someone who actually genuinely cared about her. And tbh I think Naveen is amazing but I just don’t think he was the right casting for this role at all. But idk who knows, maybe he’ll change my mind.  I guess I was just hoping for someone amazing who would really sweep Nadia off her feet and out of the way of Armony lol

I enjoy this guy’s comment about Arman ‘taking the crown’-- feels like a nod to 1x10 (“The Crown” lol). Also lbr I would want to have Arman on my prison crew too lol. But oh shit he’s really gonna go after Hayak??

I don’t even have kids and I’m annoyed on Thony’s behalf at Lolo trying to parent her child for her lol. Shut your face, buddy, you can’t exactly give parenting advice when your son turned out to be an asshole and your daughter moved to another country to be away from you. Also, telling her she spoils Luca? Pot calling the kettle black much??

“Everything I did, I did for my son” man those words are starting to sound almost worn out now, like she’s repeated them so many times by this point– but lbr we all know that that’s not the whole truth Thony. But awww at Fi defending her, I love these sisters-by-choice <3

“You made my son feel like he was not enough” excuse me that sounds like a Marco problem, not a Thony problem??? God why don’t people just go to goddamn therapy and stop blaming everyone else for their own shit?? Also HELL NO you are not taking Luca back to the philippines lol, I legit dare you to try get him away from Thony the Mama Bear without losing a limb lol

Huh Thony’s bed is gone?? Did they move it while the guests are there or has she been sleeping in with Luca now that he doesn’t need the infection control anymore??

Oooh I found this location (where Chris sits on the curb after riding his bike) too! Literally recognised the building from a distance while driving on the interstate haha. Though it's a shame I didn't realise that it was the curb itself that was the important part lol. I also love that there are literally crew in the background of the shot while he was riding the bike lol, I haven’t seen the show have an ‘error’ like that before

Super cool shot with the train going past in the background! Still pissed I can’t figure out where the prison is haha. Also goddamn Arman is badass, casually sitting there bleeding through his shirt while staring Hayak down. We stan a sexy ruthless king lol

Aw, looks like Thony got her buddha necklace back from Garrett in the end! I kind of also love that she’s wearing it too bc I’m certain that Marco and his parents are catholic lol. What a power move/symbol that she follows her own path rather than theirs. Also it’s interesting to learn that Marco was a few years older than Fi– he was such a brat that I assumed he was the younger brother until she referred to him by ‘Kuya” (a term for an older brother/relative) in the last ep...

Nadia’s voice sounds deeper and older on this phone call?? Maybe alll this stress with Arman has aged her lol.  I really do feel for her… but not enough to not be cheering for Armony haha

Damn Thony really is desperate to keep Arman safe if she is risking missing her own husband’s funeral to help get him out?? That’s what you call endgaaaaame lol

I cannot stress enough how much I do not care about Garrett and Maya lol  *mentally fast forwards through scene*

Robert: *brusquely gestures at Thony with a pool cue*  Me: oh I think I hate him? Robert: *makes Thony strip off right in front of him, and even makes her let him help undress her*  Me: oh I definitely 100% hate him IMMEDIATELY AND FOREVER. Honestly, what an absolute bastard. Nadia is way too good for him, how could she ever even consider being with him again?? I’m so incredibly pissed about this moment for many reasons, mostly from the act of emotional violence that it is, and oh man I hope Arman finds out about it and tears Robert apart with his bare hands for disrespecting Thony like that…

Ngl though, I kind of do love that she clearly only went through with it bc it was for Arman. Our girl really is ride or die for him ugh. Also, “No one pays attention to the cleaning lady”-- except Arman did, from the moment he saw you. Ugghh help me. And ugh Robert talking about making her clean stressed me out so much. I hate this creep SO MUCH. 

“You remind me of [Marco]”-- not the compliment you think it is, Lola. Poor Chris is having a Bad Time lol

Feeling super annoyed that this incredibly unrealistic prison infirmary setup is preventing me from enjoying shirtless Arman undisturbed lol (because holy hell, Thony needs to burn all of this man’s shirts so we get treated to this view all the time haha). But yeah, as someone who has worked (admittedly, only briefly) in a prison infirmary in the past, this setup is legit ridiculous lol. But then again, it is the US, so maybe that's just how things are done over there haha

“No one can pin me down” / “Unfortunately, neither could your wife” okay dude I don’t want Russo to leave, the only good part of Garrett’s scenes are when she (or Thony) is absolutely dragging him lol

Nadia speaks French?? That’s hot. (As is everything she does, lbr.)

Wait, is Garrett at the funeral bc he suspects Thony has something to do with the money? Or with Marco’s death? Or did he come intending to pay his respects but then got a weird vibe? Like dude why do you keep showing up everywhere, I’m sick of your face

That’s one very expensive orchid.

Okay I cannot believe that this show not only gave us shirtless Arman being patched up (ps dear prison doctor, I will trade places with you any time), but it also gave us an entire shirtless fight scene in the showers??? The TCL writers are benevolent gods and I am their most grateful subject lol. Ngl I may have paused this scene quite a bit… for, uh, science. Also bless you wonderful gifmakers for already taking care of this lol. Tbh I'm slightly upset about the fact that this ep gave us the gloriousness that is both Thony and Arman half-naked, and yet it was in totally separate (and somewhat unfortunate) scenes lol. A goddamn tragedy tbh. And ok ngl I now have a sudden desperate need for Thony to see Arman shirtless.... c'mon writers you know you wanna do it

Anyway, respect to Hayak for actually taking on Arman himself, though we all know he wouldn’t have dared if Arman wasn’t already significantly wounded lol. He knows he’s outmatched otherwise. Also daaamn, the knot on this freaking towel is the strongest thing in the universe apparently?? lol. Another tragedy haha. And okay I know I’m going on and on about this, but literally HOW was he so unsupervised in the infirmary that he could possibly get hold of something like that??  (What is it supposed to be, anyway?? Bc I know what medications are likely to be stored in a cupboard like that and I know what medications could conceivably kill that fast and there is not a whole lot of crossover there lol) 

But anyway yeah the whole syringe thing is ridiculous but I will roll with it lol. Just as i will ignore the even more ridiculous “I always loved you more than my own son” hahahaha. (Tbh there’s been a little bit of cliched dialogue in this ep but I will overlook it out of love).  But damn, “It won’t be long now. Your heart will seize and it’ll be done” actually does sound pretty badass?? Moral of the story, DO NOT FUCK WITH ARMAN MORALES lol 

(although ok I gotta question how he’s not going to get caught for this murder? Any death in custody gets an automatic autopsy, and they’ll find the injection site, and surely there’s cameras around the infirmary that show he was just there earlier, soooo? But nvm it’s fiction so *shrug*)

Man the dynamic between Chris and Luca is going to be so fascinating now. And imagine like an 18 year old Luca finding out that his cousin-brother killed his father? Tho lbr by that point Arman will be the only father he remembers :P

 I like Fi’s mum and I love that Fi finally got to hear that she’s proud of her, but tbh I still can’t excuse the terrible parenting for Fi’s whole life. “We thought that you were stronger” BRO SHE WAS A CHILD??? Good lord.  

The dad though??? Like I know all too well the impact that grief and loss can have, but damn the entitlement of him wanting to basically steal Luca to use him as a do-over of Marco? Gross. And acting like Luca’s connection to him through Marco gives him more of a right to have Luca than Luca’s own mother???? C’mon now. So glad Thony called him out on it and put her foot down, even if the issue didn’t actually get clearly resolved….   

Okay EXCUSE ME WHAT. Are the writers kidding me with this imagery of Arman leaving his prison and walking free out into the light, overlaid with Thony reciting a sacrament so fitting that it could have been written solely for him???? I feel like I fucking ascended to a higher plane during this scene, bc jesus christ I have been to some of the most famous places of worship in the world and yet none of them felt as holy as my couch did while I experienced this moment. Not only did it have that sense of connected-even-at-a-distance that the ‘Someone To Watch Over Me’ scene in 1x07 evoked, but it took it even further, because even though this scene very clearly involved them engaging with their respective spouses (indirectly in Thony’s case of course), it was undeniably an Armony scene, and I’m sorry but I am going to be an utter mess about this forever?? And the fact that the writers chose to have Nadia remove his sunglasses– symbolically removing a ‘mask’ and letting him see the light– rather than showing the two of them kissing (even though I’m sure they probably did kiss, only moments later, though I’m grateful we didn’t have to see it lol) was legit incredible and have I mentioned I’m in love with this entire writers’ room or??????

Ugh okay that's all for now, but I guess I'll see you all next week for more of this show sending me literally insane. Help.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Tuesday, January 9th, 2024!

4:49pm Having a nice rainy day! Waiting for it to clear up before I drive to the Straz! Very excited! A good day :)

5:45pm I don't have anyone to talk to about this because nobody really knows it happened buT the last/ first time I went to the Straz I was pretty badly embarrassed by this one (I'm sure they're not all bad) old bitch usher who I would say rudely informed me that I couldn't bring cheese/charcuterie plate into the theatre seating area.... When I just turned around from buying it at the concession stand in their building?? Nobody at the counter informed me that I would have to wolf it down in the lobby with <10 minutes left before showtime. What the fuck? I was like seriously?? Why tf do y'all sell these if you can't eat it while you're watching the play??? Then I noticed other people who were definitely also in my situation wolfing down hot dogs and sandwiches standing*! in the freaking lobby in their best black and white suit and tie like a fat kid harking down an ice cream sandwich. It was clearly ridiculous and I felt so embarrassed at the time, which was supposed to be a very enjoyable time. I probably would have gotten over this gracefully except....... You know who was glaring at me like I was the most retarded person ever in existence and I was embarrassing him!! Which made me even more red/embarrassed/ flustered/ wanting to run away and hide in the bathroom from my anxiety ratcheting UP and UP as it got closer to showtime. Also to note, normal me would've actually gotten a real dinner before going out, except I had no time to because...... I had to spend 1.5 hrs in traffic picking his spoiled ass up from work during rush hour before the play!!! So we were already running later than I like to be. So just not how I like to do my experiences clearly. And yk he just acted like a spoiled brat constantly. Also I bought him his sandwich there which he promptly took two bites out of and threw away!! Jfc like we were in this together except now you're glaring at me probably wishing I would also throw my food away like bitch this is overpriced $15 each meals I was so pissed off like he just has NO BALLS PUSSY ASS SHIT and instead of laughing it off, eating quickly WITH ME, just fucking staring at me like I'm some pig that is so stupid for wanting to eat some food when I hadn't eaten anything all day and didn't really want to sit there for three hours on an empty stomach. He was such a LIL BITCH HOLY SHIT FUCK YOU. A real man would have NOT PULLED THAT SHIT and would've at the bare minimum agreed with me that it was strange and kinda fucked, but no he just thought I was retarded and like bitch did you know and not tell me?? No lmao you just like to act like you're fucking better than everyone you're around, CUNT. NEVER AGAIN. EVERYDAY I'M REMINDED OF WHAT I'M *NOT* MISSING OUT ON 😂 AND that's some shit where he would never admit any wrongdoing and therefore would ABSOLUTELY NEVER CHANGE. Think about that shit. NEVER AGAIN I STG. I really needed to vent this out and get these feelings off my chest.

Ok so here's to going to Straz and having a blast!! Let's fucking GO!! ❤️ Love you girly ❤️

[roroc]

1/14/2023 First weekend of shows, part 1! Starting as red lion on the lion pole🌶️🦁 Posting in chronological order of events 📍Saturday, January 14, 2023 performing for Kumo Japanese Restaurant's grand opening in Cumming, GA. 🎥Thank you for watching my show, Yuki! From the GA Hkers group🇭🇰footage & pictures courtesy of Yuki It was SO WINDY. I felt the pole SHAKE. MULTIPLE TIMES. And it didn't help that Tony didn't watch where I'm going, so I could only stay on one side because this MF ONLY squatted on one side. BRUH HAS ONE JOB & it's to watch when I need to turn direction so he can help counterbalance the pole by STANDING and/or sitting...and it's not like I'm moving fast like I am on the ground, there's only so many little steps I can take when I'm on a pole. Stg.☹️ smh. But in the end it turned out fine, just couldn't do superlion today. But ayyy my original tail + flag team @nninalvs @maria.starzz WE LOOK SO GOOD💖💖💖I swear, we look the best in the team🤗FYI: nina & maria have NEVER dropped me EVER. even when they're much smaller & lighter than tony, they still make more stable balancers than Tony ever will. I love you two. Also: Alan & me noticed the camera! Look at our million dollar smiles!!!💖🤗😁 Then went to Momocon dance with cosplay group @risaozu.cos @redpanda_lamai @zero_celes at night. We did some clown activities, some ikemen activities, and a whole bunch of LIT activities🔥Thank you everyone for enjoying my dance, welcome new fans! We had a wild weekend. AND IT'S ONLY SATURDAY. (👉keep swiping to see the previews of a sudden photoshoot Friday night before the show, I collabed with @riverpixi & @pyrobunneh 👀I'm still waiting for u to send me my candid backshot pic bruh😛that one was actually the best one I took at the shoot imo can't believe I did this right before lion dance performance...twas the night of spice before the show😜) #liondance #舞獅 #醒獅#lunarnewyear #hkig #踊ってみた #liondancesports #佐藤健 #chineseliondance #wushu #tet #龍獅運動 #イケメン #instagramjapan #fypシ #china #chinesenewyear #新年 #dragondance #liondancenation #ootd #Chainsawman #bts #satohtakeru #ulzzangboy #ulzzang #poledance #美男美女と繋がりたい #韓国ファッション #这就是街舞 (at 渋谷スクランブルスクエア) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cnl7anUuigL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[tarobytez]

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.  

Oh fucking boy. 

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

[falling-pages]

the Hosts as Dads

I'm late for Father's Day but WHOOPS! have some fluff

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Tamaki:

Literally his greatest wish in life is to have a family, so he would be desperate for kids

As soon as you’re ready to have them, he’s ready

Worships you and your baby bump

To him, you are a goddess--you create life, you carry the most precious gifts in the world

He passes out the first time you go into labor

And is a bawling MESS when he holds his child for the first time

Cannot stop crying and cooing over the baby

Wants as many kids as you do, and then begs you to pop out another one

Maybe 5 or 6

Impulse buys EVERYTHING

Tamaki we’re only having one baby we don’t need three cribs

Tamaki we already have three toy boxes FULL--

Raising his sons to be little hosts and his daughters as little ladies

Spoils them ROTTEN with all the affection he never received as a child, but they’re all so sweet and not brats because he’s their dad

Refers to himself as “père” or “papa” and you as “maman”

Teaches his babies French, of course

He has very strong European genes, so most of the kids end up looking more like him

IMAGINE THE TINY TAMAKI DOPPLEGANGERS TODDLING AROUND SPEAKING HALF-FRENCH HALF-JAPANESE

Honestly? Becomes a stay at home dad

Teaches his little ones to play piano

Kyoya:

Doesn’t have the first inkling of how to raise a child

Straight up when he finds out you’re pregnant his first words are, “Good, the Ootori Company will have an heir.”

Kyoya I stg--

Holds you in extremely high esteem as you carry your children

Not really the doting type, but he does make sure you have everything you could ever want

Very subtly checks on your comfort, if you’re in any pain, etc and tries to fix it

Chooses not to watch you go into labor. He doesn’t think it proper and he honestly believes he will be a hindrance

He stops breathing when he sees his child for the first time

A little baby girl with a full head of black hair

Of course he loves her, but he doesn’t know how to articulate it

All he knows is that he doesn’t want to be like his own father

But one day you were out of town overnight, and all the nannies had gone home so when the baby cried, Kyoya had to check on her

And when he held that baby and truly looked at her, looking at his future, holding his entire world in his arms, he fell apart

Sat in the rocking chair and CRIED as his baby went back to sleep

After that his favorite thing to do is have her nap on his chest while he reads a book

And just likes to look at and admire her

Second child is a son

Daughter is bossy and business minded; son is laid back

Both kids need glasses

Hikaru:

Okay we know this boy has no patience and very bad impulse control

So it comes as no surprise to anyone when he knocks up his college girlfriend

Is a surprisingly well-adjusted dad

His parents were never really around for his childhood, and even though he had Kaoru, his little baby boy doesn’t, so he’s as hands-on as possible

Proposes to his girlfriend on their child’s first birthday. All the pictures have the kid smashing cake in them

Every single host is dying at the opportunity to babysit

Hikaru is still as reckless as he was when he wasn’t a father

I mean, he has a little more common sense, but not much

Thank God for Kaoru

Imagining 19-year-old Hikaru sitting in his sophomore tech & software classes with his baby in one arm and writing notes with the other hand

Showing up to his first day at his internship with a diaper bag, computer bag and baby strapped to his chest

You and he wait a while before the next kid--get married, start your careers, settle down

Baby boy is the ring bearer

Your son is pushing six when you have another baby boy, then three years later you have a girl

The middle child is an absolute angel, while the oldest and youngest are devils

Hikaru likes to sing to the babies when they’re fussy. He’s horrible at it, but nothing calms them like their father’s voice

Crawls into bed with them to soothe them when they have nightmares

Imagine walking in on them one morning, toddler’s head curled on Hika’s chest, him sprawled out, both of them drooling buckets

Roughousing with his boys and his girl, playing football, wrestling, just being a goofball

Please. dad Hika with a baby strapped to his chest is sending me to the astral realm

Kaoru:

He would love to father his own kids, but I firmly believe he would adopt as well!

Have two of his own, and then adopt one or two

Would also be a really great stepdad, I think

Cracks Dad jokes as soon as he finds out you’re pregnant

Normally a sensitive soul, he becomes extremely protective

Holds your hand and kisses your forehead during labor

Has the biggest, brightest smile through his tears when he holds your son for the first time

Does most of his work at home

Also keeps the baby in a harness strapped to his chest

He loves carrying the diaper bag and will bite anyone who tries to take it from him

His kids are his biggest inspiration, so he decides to open a kids clothing line

Your babies are the models

Because of that, one of them pursues modeling as a career and Kaoru couldn’t be more proud

They all look like him, but they don’t look like Hikaru, which is weird and messes with your head

He’s the perfect Dad. He spoils them but is also very disciplined

Spends quiet Sunday afternoons sketching and cooking with them

Mitsukuni:

All his babies are tiny. Doesn’t matter how tall you are. Your children are tiny

They have his body type, too. Small, bird-like, narrow bones

But they still kick ass

He didn’t give them a chance to opt out of martial arts. They don’t have a choice--it’s the family business, and they will learn it

Unsurprisngly, they’re all very good at it

They train often with Uncle Chika and their cousins

He cheers and coaches them on at competitions

He’s offended when they don’t share his sweet tooth

I mean, they like candy. What child doesn’t? But you raised them to not be obsessive about it, which displeases him

Takashi:

Lord. Don’t get me started on him as a dad

He is a family man. It’s in his blood. That’s how he was raised and trained and taught

So he will pump eight or ten kids into you if you let him

Cries the first time he finds out you’re pregnant

Worships you like a desperate man kneeling at the temple of his god

Belly kisses. Forehead kisses. Really tender palm kisses. Kisses, kisses, kisses.

How else could he thank you for giving him the most special gift?

Even more protective than before

Scary dog privileges

Has to have a hand on you/the bump at all times

He’s so tall that he has to lean down a little to reach it, but he doesn’t mind

Prefers to hold both you and the baby, so he reclines on the couch and pulls you and the bump into his lap, wrapping his arms around you and encouraging you to rest against his chest. Let him carry the baby for a little while

Thinks you look ravishing in the maternity clothes

Stares daggers at anyone who tries to touch your bump, curling an arm around it and turning you away with a low growl

Goes slightly feral whenever you reach your due date

Each labor is difficult, but he lets you crush his hand. He’s pretty silent, but he wipes your forehead and grunts with you. Seeing you in pain makes him feel pain

When that precious little baby is delivered, he just stares at them without a word. He can’t believe that you and he made something so perfect and innocent and pure

His hands are so big. He can hold the baby in just one palm

Smiles the brightest when holding his child

He was raised with honor and chivalry and a moral code, so he raises his children the same way

Teaches both his sons and his daughters how to be kind, gentle, and nurturing while also teaching them self defense and other fighting moves

Diaper changing pro

Y’all have kids pretty close in succession, so while you’re at work he can be seen walking with a baby in a chest harness, one strapped to his back, one in a stroller and a toddler holding his hand

Sorts out and categorizes what heirlooms will go to each child

BIG emphasis on birthdays. He’s a man of tradition, and feels happiest when his children are honored.

all of your kids have his jawline and his height

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