#like i said in that post i think it's just that ppl don't like the story/characters

[loveharlow]

SEVEN [POGUELANDIA] - FEVER DREAM

PAIRING ‧₊˚ JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

SYNOPSIS‧₊˚[3.7k] It's been a week since you and your friends were dropped into the middle of nowhere. But the self-proclaimed 'Poguelandia' has served as a break for you all from the drama and chaos back home, but it may also present chances for growth and changes, good and bad...

WARNING(S)‧₊˚ swearing, kie x reader drama (again), omission, mentions of self-doubt, allusions to suicidal thoughts (if you squint), mentions of injuries

NOW PLAYING‧₊˚

A/N‧₊˚ I think I finally found my motivation again so here's chapter 1/3 of Poguelandie before we get into season 3 of SVN, also, taglist ppl, ik it's been acting funky for a minute so I'll see if it works better in the comments, also new taglist people, please use the taglist form in my pinned post to be added, it makes it a lot easier to keep track of new people who want to be added so i don't have to go through my replies and mentions and blah blah blah

˗ˏˋ series masterlist ˎˊ˗

THE SALTY OCEAN BREEZE WHIPPED THROUGH YOUR HAIR AS YOU SURVEYED THE VAST EXPANSE OF THE DESERTED ISLAND, Poguelandia as you’d all claimed it. 

It’d been a week since you and your friends washed up on the shore of the unclaimed piece of land — carving your symbol into a tree and crafting a flag that swayed in the wind. Sure, a chicken in a coconut bra, smoking a J in Crocs wasn’t the most intimidating “stay off of our land” flag but it was something.

You were planted in the sand, next to your dwindling bonfire, watching your friends surf in the water using the poorly constructed boards the guys had made — unreliable pieces of driftwood and lots of twine apparently made an oddly useful flotation device.

Unfortunately, you weren’t able to join in on the festivities. Your personal island nurse, Cleo, basically forbade you from entering the water, claiming the salt water would only soften the scar tissue she’d burned into your leg with a heated knife she’d held over a raging bonfire. The smell of burning flesh and the pain of the scorching metal against your thigh only served as a distant nightmare, making you cringe at the memory. 

“Hey,” A voice appeared next to you, looking up to find Kiara’s bikini clad frame looking down at you, brown curls dripping with sea water. “How’re you doing?” Over the last week, you two had found some common ground. You didn’t expect things to be normal right away, or possibly ever again. But you were glad you could still talk to her. “Need some company?”

You shrugged, a longing smile on your face as you glanced at the rest of your peers fooling around in the water before turning back to her. “I’m doin’ okay, but feel free to join me. …Or did my nurse send you over here to make sure I don’t sneak into the water?” You asked, playfully squinting your eyes as Kie took a seat next to you, digging her feet into the sand.

The girl laughed lightly, head dipping down as the lowering sun illuminated the highlights in her hair while casting an orange hue over the deserted island. “No Nurse Cleo supervision here. Promise.” But the humor in her words didn’t seem genuine, almost like she had something to say. As if something else was on the tip of her tongue. “...How do you feel about her, by the way?” Kiara asked quietly, avoiding your eyes as she played with the grains of sand — letting the materials slip through her fingers.

“Who? Cleo?” You asked, a lopsided smile on your face.

“Yeah, like…do you trust her?” Kie asked, finally meeting your eyes. “Do you think she even really trusts us? I mean, she said it herself — we’re just her better option.”

You simply shrugged, making a face of uncertainty. “I don’t know…I don’t think she meant it like that.” You defended the girl. “I wouldn’t say I fully trust her just yet, but I do think she’s genuinely on our side.” You told your friend, watching as she drew her lips into a thin line, nodding almost as if she expected your answer but still wasn’t satisfied with it.

“...And you don’t find it weird that she just decided to up and run off with six strangers?” Kiara prodded, tone growing increasingly more confused, bordering annoyance. “And then saying she wants a cut of the gold? Like, come on...”

You couldn’t help but chuckle out of mild disbelief. “You don’t find half of the things we’ve done weird? Running from the cops even though we’re innocent? And, like, one-hundred other things that don’t make sense?” You countered, shaking your head. “And her wanting a cut of the gold isn’t crazy, in my opinion.” You shrugged, leaning back on your arms, fiddling with a leaf between your fingers. “I mean, she saved half of our lives. And she’s the main reason we made it off that ship. Without her help, who knows what could’ve happened…”

“I think you’re giving her too much credit.” Kie scoffed, standing from her spot and brushing herself off. You couldn’t help but make a face of offense at words, hearing the clear disagreement and disdain in her tone.

“...I’d probably be dead without her, Kie.” You spoke slowly, eyeing the girl as she paced smally on her feet, rolling her eyes as you continued speaking. “If anything, she deserves more credit than we’ve given her.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that we can’t trust everyone just because they help us. And I think being on this island is making everyone forget the fact that she could still be a threat to us-”

“But she isn’t. She’s stuck here, too-”

“She chose to be.”

“Exactly.” You quipped, tone short. “She chose to come with us and be stranded here. We all did.” You put it simply. “Look, I know we should be weary of who we let around us, but you’re not even giving her a chance.”

At your words, Kiara fell silent, running a tense hand through her mess of wet curls. “None of you get it.” She sighed under her breath, shaking her head side to side. “When she screws us over, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Was the last thing she offered in response to you before walking off into the trees, disappearing. 

You simply shook your head — what could Cleo have done for Kie of all people to have such a disdain for her? Distrust was one thing and that was reasonable. But it was clear that the island girl put a sour taste in Kiara’s mouth. Just days ago, Kiara brought up how much you’d been hanging out with the girl in question, making a joke about being replaced. But maybe there wasn’t as much humor there as you’d initially thought…

“Hey, where’d you go?” Kiara asked, looking up at you from where she was digging holes near the shore, looking for turtle hatches.

“Banana Leaf hunting. Cleo says they're good for healing and she was gonna try to make a bandage for my leg.” You replied, shielding your eyes from the sun as you limped closer to her.

“Well, when you find one, make sure it’s big enough for both of you.”

“...What do you mean?”

“Oh, nothing. I just figured it’d be easier if it was bigger considering you and her are like attached at the hip now.” She muttered, side-eyeing you with a slight smile that let you know her words were lighthearted.

“Oh, whatever. Don’t be like that. I just don’t want her to feel like an outcast.” You scoffed with a playful smile.

“Yeah, yeah. Just know you can’t replace me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

…Did Kiara feel that Cleo was a threat to the group…or to her? Caution or jealousy? And if it was the latter, was it platonic or something deeper? You guessed that would always be the question now…

“CAN YOU FEEL IT NOW?” JJ asked for the fifth time as his index and middle finger pressed into the skin below your knee — wide, blue eyes boring into your own. The boy was still slightly damp from surfing as the two of you sat under the shade of a palm tree — your other five friends some feet away, laughing around a bonfire as the sun finally set.

“Yes, I can feel it, JJ.” You reassured the boy once more, rolling your eyes in playful annoyance. “I’m not going to lose my leg, you know.”

“Cleo said to make sure that your leg isn’t cold or discolored and to make sure you still had feeling. I’m just following the doctor’s orders.” He told you, continuing to press his fingers up the length of your leg. “Especially when the doctor has a machete and an attitude problem…” He muttered.

At this, you sighed, throwing your head back. “Ughhh. You too?” You asked, cocking an eyebrow as JJ made a face of confusion —sitting up straighter. 

“What do you mean “me too”?”

“Why is everyone giving her such a hard time?” You asked, tilting your head.

“Who? Cleo?” JJ inquired, sitting down across from you and dusting the sand off of his hands.

“Yes.” You answered. “I mean, she saved our asses when she didn’t have to. And she hasn’t given us any reason to not at least try to trust her. We’ve been stranded for a week. If she had some trick up her sleeve, I’m sure she would’ve used it by now. We don’t really know her and she doesn’t really know us. She’s not as rude as she may come off once you get to know her. But you guys won’t talk to her.” You defended.

“...Well, I was just joking, Princess. Cleo’s good in my book, she even taught me some knife tricks.” JJ chuckled, surprised at how you jumped to the girl’s defense. “And I’m not sure what you mean.” He continued, face contorting in confusion. “John B and Sarah seem pretty cool with her and I’m pretty sure Pope has a thing for her, even if he doesn’t know it. And Kie… hasn’t said much to her, I don’t think.” He pondered, seeming to connect the dots. “Did Kie say somethin’? Is that it?”

“I don’t know…” You started, twiddling with your fingers. “She’s suspicious of her, I guess. She thinks Cleo’s only with us because we’re her best bet and because she’s still holding out on the hope that we’ll get the gold and she basically thinks we’re all being blind to the possibility of Cleo being a threat. And she came at me so… aggressive about it. It was weird…”

“...Are you sure Kie doesn’t have another issue with you?” JJ asked, squinting his eyes from the emerging moonlight as he looked at you. “I know girl drama is usually lowkey.”

You met his eyes as his words registered in your mind. It was at this moment that you realized JJ still had no idea of the real reason for the crumbling of your life-long friendship with Kiara. Or rather the reason for it. And you were questioning whether to speak now or forever hold your peace…

“I noticed you guys kind of seemed off for a while. But I figured it was just something small.” 

“Uh, yeah…” You trailed off, avoiding your boyfriend’s eyes. “Something like that.” You shrugged, jutting your bottom lip out.

“I’m sure you guys will work it out.” He shrugged mindlessly, rubbing a hand up and down your calf. “You always do.”

“...I don’t know, I think it’s a bit different this time…” You said solemnly. It was the first real wave of emotions that you’d felt about the situation. Kiara was in love with you. And your friendship with her would never be the same. It was a strange, unwelcomed thought. Kiara was like a sister to you. To experience the fall of your relationship with her had a particularly rough sting to it. 

“What makes you say that?” JJ asked, pinching his eyebrows together. You didn’t respond immediately, eyes flicking up to his then back down to where they were focused on his fingers rubbing circles into your leg. “Hey,” JJ called to gain your attention, your eyes finally locking with his own. “You can talk to me. You know that, right?”

You shook your head with vigor, pinching your lips together before speaking. “No, no, I can’t. Not this time.”

“Baby-”

“JJ, I can’t.” You said exhaustedly. You wanted to tell him so bad, to get the weight and confusion off of your shoulders. But it wasn’t your place. “It’s Kie’s business. It’s not my place-”

“It is.” He tried, clearly growing frustrated. “Whatever happened is clearly affecting you both. That makes it your place and I’m sure Kie will get over you telling me-”

“It’s not that simple.” You snapped, expression softening when you realized how aggressively low your tone had dropped. Sighing, you continued. “I’m sorry, okay? But it really isn’t that easy, J. It’s really…weird and complicated and-” You stopped your ranting when JJ leaned forward, moving the hand that was on your leg to cradle your cheek.

“It’s okay.” He assured you, offering a light smile before pecking you softly on the lips --- the taste of sea salt lingering faintly. “I don’t want to make things worse between you two, okay? I get it.” He told you, but you could see that he was still, if not more, curious about it now. You realized you may have put yourself into a tighter space than you were sitting in before. Which would only make it harder to get out of. 

NIGHT HAD COMPLETELY FALLEN BY NOW. It was so weird how the days seemed to go by much faster. It was like there was never enough time in the day now to do anything. Where it seemed like the sun never went down when you were being shot at, chased, and kidnapped — it seemed like there was nothing but the moon and stars now.

The boys were starting another fire, since yours had gone out, while you and the other girls lounged around — watching them twirl sticks and blow into the smoke. Eventually, John B sighed, side-eyeing the four of you. “Since none of you want to help, can you at least go and find more firewood? Or something to eat? These fish are only gonna last us tonight.”

“The sun’s gone down.” Sarah quipped, a quizzical brow raised. “Can’t exactly fish in the dark.”

“No, but you can hunt.” JJ retorted, shooting the girl a grimace from his place in front of the growing fire.

“Do we look like hunters to you?” Cleo shot back, twirling her knife around her fingers. “Plus, I thought we agreed the woods were off limits. Tigers, bears, and all that?”

“And there’s no reason to go right now.” You added, adjusting your legs where you were sitting in the sand to be more comfortable. “We have tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that…”

“Normally, I’d agree.” Pope sighed, looking up at the sky where the clouds that did still remain, there but faint, loomed. “But I’m eighty-percent sure there’s a storm coming. All the birds and whatever else will eat all the plants and fruits and they’ll be less fish because of the falling tide. And who knows how long it’s going to last…”

“...Do you guys think we should start looking for ways to call for help?” Kie offered meekly. "It's been a week and I don't think anyone's looking for us..."

“And how would we do that?” JJ asked.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged, sitting up straighter. “This can’t be all there is to this island. There has to be something — a house, an abandoned shack — anything. But…we can’t stay here forever.”

“It’s only been a week, Kie.” JJ dismissed, tending to the fire. He didn’t seem to be fond of the topic of conversation, almost avoidant of it. “I’m sure someone will come soon enough for you.”

“...Why are you acting like that?” She asked, an expression of offense on her face.

“Like what?” He sighed, finally looking at the girl.

“Like you don’t want to leave.”

...A silence fell over the group, looks exchanged between one another as JJ stared tensely at the fire, jaw clenched. It was an unspoken topic among you all — whether you were going to be rescued at some point. Whether you wanted to be. Some people had been taking more kindly to the newfound freedom of island life — you, JJ, Cleo…

The others…it seemed like they couldn’t wait until someone came to swoop you all up. It was reasonable, you understood. But going to Kildare would be like getting thrown back to hell after getting a backstage pass to heaven.

“Why don’t we go see if the trees have started producin’ again? Hm?” Cleo broke the ice, standing up and looking at you, Kiara, and Sarah. “Pope’s right. If a storm’s comin’, best to stock up. A little wander in the dark neva hurt nobody. Come on.” She urged, outstretching a hand to you to help you up that you went to take.

“Hey, no,” JJ protested, eyes fleeting between you and Cleo. “Your leg-”

“I’m fine, J.” You dismissed, using Cleo’s assistance to stand up, mindful to keep your leg off the ground. “I can’t just sit around until someone shows up to save us.”

“I know, it’s just-” He struggled to find words. “Can’t you wait until you’ve healed?” He asked, eyes pleading.

“JJ,” You started, leaning on Cleo for support to keep yourself up. “I don’t think that’s gonna happen out here. We don’t have any first aid or medical supplies. The best thing I can do is let my body try and heal itself. And the best way to do that is to stop laying around like a starfish.” You explained the words Cleo had given you when she patched you up on the first day. “And I’ll have Cleo with me.” You smiled at the girl.

JJ’s blue eyes went between you and the dark-skinned girl, sighing in defeat. “Alright, fine. But take this with you.” He demanded, tossing his Swiss Army knife in your direction, you managing to catch it with one hand.

“We’ll be back.” You smiled, turning to walk away with your girls. “Fire up the grill for us, boys!” You shouted over your shoulder.

“THAT BOY REALLY CARES ABOUT YOU, Y’KNOW?” Cleo spoke, holding a branch out of your way to duck under, guiding you with a hand on your back. The four of you had split in half — Kie and Sarah taking one side of the forest while you and Cleo foraged the other.

“Yeah, I know.” You acknowledged, getting further into the trees. “I just wish everyone would stop treating me like I’m…broken, or something.” 

“Well, your leg is pretty banged up, girl-”

“No, I know.” You cut her off. “But…it’s not just that.” You sighed, stopping in front of a bush to pluck off the berries, handing them to Cleo for her to put into the basket she made of twine and sticks. “...Some stuff happened back at home and I think they’ve been trying to be subtle about it, but I can see the way everyone keeps me in the corner of their eyes. I can feel it. It’s like they’re tip toeing on eggshells but they’re still cracking underneath their shoes. And they have their reasons to be worried, I know that and I appreciate it. But I feel like they’re always helping me or saving me. I don’t wanna be the weak link.” You explained, brows furrowed as you threw the last of the berries into the basket, limping further into the mess of trees with Cleo following closely behind. “I hate feeling like I can’t help myself. And my leg isn’t exactly helping the problem…”

“Weakness is deception.” Cleo said, matter of factly. “I learned that from a close friend.” She told you, looking at you briefly. “It’s usually hidin’ a strength you haven’t discovered yet.” She said simply, stopping in front of the fruit tree as she handed the basket to you and began to climb.

“Well, how am I supposed to find this ‘strength’?” You asked, eyeing the girl as she climbed the bark effortlessly.

“You learn to overcome the weakness.” She said, snatching one of ripe fruits off the vine. “Everybody is weak. It’s just that some are stronger than others. When you’re stronger than everyone around you, of course you’re not going to look weak — brighter lights cast deeper shadows. But the truth is, everyone is a weak link in some way. Strength isn’t about never fallin’, it’s about gettin’ back up every time you do.”

“But what if I don’t know how to do that?” You asked, brows furrowed as you got lost in your thoughts, watching as Cleo dropped the fruit into the basket from the top of the tree. “What if all I know how to do when I fall…is keep falling?” 

“...Why would you do that?” She asked, voice softer than you'd ever heard it.

“...Because it’s easier than getting back up just to fall again.” 

“But you can’t fall forever.” Cleo asserted. “You’ll hit rock bottom eventually. And when you hit rock bottom, there’s nothin'. And you can’t live with nothin', so you have to make your way back to the top eventually. You can never let yourself fall that far.” She spoke, climbing down from the tree. “It’s easier to swim to the surface from five–feet down than it is from fifty.” You pondered on her words, finding a good amount of wisdom in them. The girl stopped in front of you, taking the basket off of your hands. “And you’re lucky.” She added after a moment's pause. “You have a good group of people to help you up. Don’t see their help as weakness. Them people out there are your family. I don’t have that.” 

“They could be that for you.” You told Cleo as the two of you began walking back the way you came, using the moonlight for guidance. "We could be that for you."

“Nah.” She shook her head, eyes looking at her feet. “They don’t trust me.”

“Not yet.” You emphasized. “We don’t trust people easily. You can probably imagine why…” You trailed off, Cleo nodding in response. “But they’re actually taking to you pretty well. Most of them, anyway.” You mentally rolled your eyes, remembering you and Kiara’s previous conversation. “Like Pope?” You continued, moving branches and leaves out of the way. “He’s usually the first to be skeptical. But he seems open to you.”

“Hm...” She hummed under her breath — her lack of response prompting you to look at the girl, the moonlight illuminating the faint redness of her cheeks. You couldn’t help but gasp.

“Oh my God, do you like Pope?” You nearly shouted to which Cleo vehemently shushed you, looking around herself.

“Shut up, loud mouth!” She whisper-shouted lightheartedly. “...And no, I don’t. Boys are stupid. And useless.” She said, although you didn’t believe her. 

“Uh-huh…” You said, squinting your eyes with a sly smile. “...Well, he’s on the market, just FYI.”

“Ughhh.” Cleo groaned, throwing her head back and walking far ahead. “Shut up!”

“I’m just saying!” You shouted behind her, attempting to catch up.

“That’s ya problem!” She called over her shoulder. “Less talkin’, more walkin’, slowpoke!”

“Hey! I can’t help it!” You argued, still trying your best to catch back up to the girl. “JJ will kill you if you abandon me out here!” You joked to which you were met with a playful scoff that reverberated through the trees.

“I’ll put ya lanky, blonde boyfriend on his behind before he can shout for help!” She quipped, a smile thrown over her shoulder. “Come on!”

next chapter >

feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.

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©loveharlow.

[brokentoys]

The notes on this is absolutely insane and it's really telling why the RPC is "dying" or not as "active" as it once was. Some people say the RPC isn't as active because it's a manner of "being busy" now because we're all ✨adults✨ I think it's more so what this community has become.

Was the RPC perfect? No. It never was. There used to be a stew of anon hate going around (and sometimes, still does) but it is getting to the point where it's full of backstabbers, and people that will run you off the site -- people that will create drama and lies (or take things out of context) while claiming they're doing it for a "good reason" because you uhh wrote something they didn't like or you had a falling out with them or you write with someone they loathe or they're just insecure and jealous of you.

And I'm not even talking SUPER dark themes either (like incest or rape) you can write anything even slightly controversial, and someone (or even MULTIPLE people) will condemn you for it. I'll never forget when I wrote a post of my teenage muse saying it's normal for dads to hit their kids ('cos that's what he experienced) and sb OUT OF CHARACTER made a vague post IMMEDIATELY saying "bad post op" (deleted it after i pointed out that I'm not my damn muse)

Or even on this blog, I've talked about how I've experienced people getting legit angry at ME because my muse is a jerk and it somehow hurt their feelings OOC. How I've had people unfollow me because our threads had (gasp) conflict, and my muse often argued or insulted theirs.

Hellll, I've had times when ppl got mad or "uncomfy" at me when I write smut threads. One time I only had 2 smut threads at a time and someone messaged me saying "err. feels like sexualization." (it was literally just vanilla smut too lmaooo) I've had ppl get mad at me ooc because I've said a very minor thing in dms. (like one time sb followed me and had triggers listed in their rules that conflicted with my blog, and when I pointed that out they were like "so? i'm not asking you to censor your muse" even tho... i' mjust.... i'm just curious as to WHY someone with such triggers would follow my blog)

Even anons are scared now! I've noticed anons are becoming more scarce, and they're quick to apologize if they think they've done anything wrong. Which i don't blame them. I've seen ppl actively get furious with harmless anons. I've seen ppl call them annoying or even assholes because these anons sent msgs commenting on their threads *in character*. When it's like, if you don't like an anon? Just delete it. Like no WONDER why everyone's struggling to write with ANYONE in this community anymore when it's so so aggressive now.

When you feel like you HAVE to be constantly walking on eggshells, and that all your threads are just "no conflict ever! :) our muses are happy and everything goes well all of the time and we all love each other and we never hurt each other or say anything bad!! :)" Then yeah... people will get desperately bored of this hobby. Especially on this website.

I recently found a blog from 2012 that I once wrote with. Twelve years ago when I first started roleplaying on Tumblr. It was an adult fandom with heavy adult themes. We used language that's 'unacceptable' today, we wrote plotlines that are easily 'cancelled' today, we spoke to each other only through Tumblr asks and fanmail (remember that??). Going through the blog, I had a wave of nostalgia and happiness like I've not had in a long time. The comradery and goofy plots, not one person bothered by the mad shit we wrote. For me, that was the best time in roleplay. I know that there were a few rotten apples and I know that discord and IM are great for active plotting and communication. But back then, things were just different. You wrote on the fly and you wrote in character which prompted you to think on your feet more and wing more plots. The only partners you spoke to ooc were the ones who you really grew close to. You didn't just blindly add every partner on social media. You weren't worried about what you posted because people didn't care back then about words - it was much harder to offend people then as it is now. I miss those days so desperately and when it comes to rp, what I wouldn't give to experience that fandom and that feeling once more. It can't ever be recaptured unfortunately, but it was heart warming to see a little reminder of it. Wherever you are now, writing partner from twelve years ago in a small, numbered title of a popularish game series, I hope you're doing well and thank you for the memories.

[chaos0pikachu]

man some of y'all have never learned the home training of "keep your hate/critique out the main tags and on your own blog or in critical tags" and then wonder why ppl be vagueblogging or reblogging with disagreements like you didn't show up to the crochet lovers group telling everybody how crocheting was actually Not Fun At All and really hard and doesn't make sense to enjoy, or Problematic, actually instead of keeping it in the group chat with the haterella besties

[that-was-anticlimactic]

i will never understand how or why the httyd movies did the books such an injustice.

the movies aren't even an adaptation - they stole the name of the series, the name of some of the characters and places, and the general idea that there are dragons. honestly, i would be fine with the movies and maybe even like them if they didn't capitalize off of cressida cowell's incredible books that never get any credit.

the books are an amazing story about the cycle of violence and how vengeance and revenge is dangerous. hiccup says that the past is a ghost story, one we need to learn from to better ourselves. the books are about how everyone deserves freedom, how every creature, every being on the earth deserves to be free. we see that in the slavemark, with the dragons.

and like... hiccup is so different. they did him a severe injustice. he's scrawny and intelligent and learned to talk to dragons simply by observing them! he chooses kindness first above all else; instead of yelling at toothless to train him, he is kind. and in the end, that kindness is why toothless chose to save him. bc even toothless himself says that dragons are inherently selfish creatures who care only for their survival. hiccup is brave - his beliefs differ drastically from both the vikings and the world.

hiccup is a child who chose to do the right thing even at the expense of himself. he agreed to free the slaves on nobert's ship, and in return, they gave him the slavemark which is easy to give but cannot be removed. he was like twelve. and having the slavemark means he cannot be with his tribe or his family, it means he isn't considered a human being anymore. and he keeps it a secret for awhile until it's revealed and when it is everyone turns their backs on hiccup. his family, his tribe, his mentor, people he TRUSTED. everyone except fishlegs, and, once she got over the shock, camicazi. he was thirteen. and even when he lost his memories and was really injured, he persisted. he was told to go to tomorrow and to save the dragons and he did bc in his heart he knew it was right even though he didn't know who he was or how he got there.

and fishlegs,,, oh my god FISHLEGS!!! the did him SO DIRTY!!! fishlegs is hiccup's best friend, one of the main motivators for hiccup. he steals norbert's potato for the sake of fishlegs, he gives fishlegs his dragon and goes to retrieve another, he takes the blame for fishlegs. and fishlegs does the same for him. he takes the slavemark with pride. he refuses to turn. he gives hiccup his lobster claw necklace which is his most prized possession. he is brave for hiccup, he believes hiccup is alive. he fights for hiccup harder than anyone else ever has. he does not turn. his is loyal, has allergies, has asthma, has a squint and a limp, has glasses bc he's blind without them... and he's still a hero despite being a runt, despite everyone even the adults telling him he's hopeless, telling hiccup to leave him behind.

and they cut camicazi! i'm sorry, but astr*d is nothing compared to camicazi. camicazi is a tiny, feral child who can easily best hiccup, fishlegs, and pretty much anyone in a sword fight. she can bring a grown man to tears with her rudery and smack talk. she is recklessly brave and craves adventure and follows hiccup blindly bc she trusts him that much. she isn't in love with hiccup - in fact she doesn't care about romance and love. she gives up everything to help hiccup bc she has a strong sense of justice. she is the motivator, the cheerleader, she finds a positive in everything. she never gives up. literally never gives up. and that's one of the most inspiring things about her: she always has hope.

and toothless! god!!! toothless is *thought to be* a common or garden dragon. he is horrifically tiny, he is literally toothless, and is the biggest brat in the world. he will cause problems on purpose. he has a stutter, he's the most selfless selfish dragon around. he and hiccup can talk to each other. he masks his fear with singing and being annoying. his growth is remarkable. he starts off refusing to obey hiccup, doing the opposite of what he says, making life harder for literally everyone around him, and he's still somewhat like that. but he's also braver, more caring, more willing to make sacrifices for the sake of others. he's clever, which he needs to be to make up for his size and aggression. he protects hiccup with everything he has, therefore, he protects what hiccup cares about just as hard. he was the only dragon that didn't abandon the vikings in the first book bc he cared about hiccup.

and snotlout,,, god,,, i will never forgive the movies for butchering snotlout. hiccup's cousin, the bully character, the one who is horrifically jealous that hiccup's dad was born before his. the one who desperately wants to prove himself, to be worthy, to make people proud. and you hate him, you despise him. he betrays everyone many times bc of the nothing promised to him by alvin and his mom. he loses himself, turns his back on himself, all bc he wants to prove himself. all bc he wants to be better than hiccup. and hiccup still forgives him and gives him chances, sometimes out of pity, but also bc snotlout is his cousin. he can't just turn his back on him no matter how miserable snotlout made his life. and in the end, snotlout sacrifices himself for hiccup. he gives up his life for hiccup in one last attempt to set things right. his death and the events preceding it are one of my absolute favorite moments in the book. gives me chills. makes me cry.

that's the thing with the books - they're so realistic. there is no inherently happy ending where everything works out. the first book begins with "there were dragons when i was a boy", implying that they're gone now. the books show there are consequences to our actions. they enslaved the dragons, they fought against them during the dragon rebellion all bc alvin and his mom said to, and now they're gone bc a simple apology doesn't fix hundreds of years of enslavement. and the only way for the world to move forward was for the dragons to leave and heal on their own. and now they have to learn to live without them. and yeah i've heard the third movie ends like that but. it doesn't have the build up. it doesn't have "there were dragons when i was a boy". it doesn't have eleven books of development to back it up, to make it feel meaningful.

i know that the movies are really special to a lot of people. i know that, on their own, they're genuinely good movies. i can acknowledge that the soundtrack is amazing and the animation is beautiful. i just can't see past the way they butchered the world that i love, the world that i grew up with. i can't see past the way people yelled at me for saying i liked the books better, the way that people gave me weird looks when i showed them a picture of the original toothless, when i tell them that nightfuries aren't even a type of dragon. cressida cowell created hundreds of different dragons, and the movies couldn't even pick from that. i can't forgive the way that barely anyone knows there are books bc the movie barely gives credit to them. i cannot forgive the way they capitalized off the books and then shoved them aside. i know cressida thinks they're good movies and i know a lot of httyd book fans also like them. but i just... i cannot get over how much they changed and how they missed so much and ignored the books. also they got rid of camicazi so hiccup could have a love interest and that is unforgivable to me.

if you disagree, that is a-okay. we're all entitled to our own opinions. i just ask that you, perhaps, try the books out. give them a chance. bc they're amazing works of art and also just like. don't yell at people who don't like the movies? whether it's bc they prefer the books or just aren't into that kind of movie. and just remember that dreamworks didn't come up with the story; cressida cowell did.

[thelaurenshippen]

genuinely think it's good and healthy to follow at least one person in each of your fandoms who reblogs good gifsets but has just...absolutely dogshit takes on the show, or who ships that ship you despise. keeps things fresh. keeps things grounded. you gotta stay humble

[florenceisfalling]

hi. i know who you are! and thank you for reblogging this bc it made me realize i meant 2 put "message me" rather than "ask me" in my original post. i prefer 2 have individual conversations with ppl on these topics these days bc i find it reduces the inflammatory nature of it all. but i'll chat! 👇

It's too bad everyone exclusively uses them as obligatorily publicized personal descriptors

this is not true! tme/tma are for indicated institutional transmisogyny, not interpersonal. while i'm not stupid enough to think intent always equals action, and i'm aware me not seeing something does not mean it never happens, i have yet to see a transfem demanding that people use tme/tma in their bio or as a personal descriptor or so forth. as described by txttletale, these terms are not universal but are still useful!

i understand the hesitation around these terms, but like many labels they are trying to communicate a complex societal issue in as simple terms as possible.

it's never used to mean anyone else except when explaining it totally means other people to

i understand seeing it that way, but just because you read every post with the word "tme" as meaning "transmascs" does not mean that's what the posts are actually talking about.

as being "exempt" from the only transphobia worthy of having a name!

this is sort of silly. you just used the word transphobia right there! a word that suits most needs in the transmasc community!

If you've discovered these hidden transmisogyny ninja and you claim to care about trans women and how they're treated by transandrophobia discourse, it's a moral imperative that you back up these claims to me

i like that i made a post reaching out as a transmasc to other transmascs to talk as nicely as possible abt this issue and i get immediately hit with someone else being as snide and snarky as possible about it. do you maybe think this serves as a bad representation of your ideals? i also don't just "claim" to care about trans women and this phrasing becomes funnier the more you know me irl

I've seen a lot of trans men get called bitches and outright transphobic slurs and also get rape threats so idk maybe that's bad of everyone to do? Maybe people who claim to be transfeminists shouldn't be doing it either.

i agree! you'll find later in my post that i said trans men being shitty doesn't excuse all of transfems' jokes or responses. then you said "not how it is" with no elaboration!

personally got tons of anons calling me slurs for trans men saying I was faking being a trans woman.

sorry that happened! if we're going to bring up our personal experiences with being misconstrued as opposing sides of the tme/tma dichotomy, i actually have some experiences to share. while i am exempt from institutional transmisogyny ive experienced it a shit ton on an interpersonal level, almost entirely from transmascs. in fact a transmasc irl who was a pedophile and rapist spent 2 months trying to paint me as a child predator, necrophile, lesbian-defiler, ugly freak, etc., all while doing crimes against someone i care about, and used the fact that i looked like a transfem "man in a dress" to back this. that was probably i think the most dehumanized i've ever felt in my life. i've had transmascs try to bar me from sapphic spaces and label me a danger to cis women for associating with particular trans women. i've had trans men say they envied my hormone disorders and joke about them under the assumption i was a tgirl. that's only including a fraction of the offline harassment!

Because I can. That's the argument you're making rn.

while i don't think people should be sexually harassing terfs, either, i think theres a bit of a difference between the dynamic terfs (oppressors) have with transfems (oppressed) to the dynamic trans ppl have with each other - especially since, from what i've seen on your blog, you assert that trans men and trans women are oppressed equally but differently, and not necessarily by each other. even in that context, if tboys FOR CERTAIN didn't have some kind of privilege compared to tgirls, these comparisons still wouldn't be equivalent, bc it'd be even playing field versus privilege and underprivileged.

Not how it is. <3

the specific example i had on my mind when i used the term "disproportionate" was the instance of a trans guy talking about "hunting baeddels for sport" (bad), a trans woman thus joking in response about a "bomb that blows up all transmascs" (bad), and then a man fucking reporting her to the fbi (FUCKED?). a bomb that carefully detects your gender while decimating people around the globe is impossible and so far from a legitimate threat that it's ridiculously silly! and yet!

i would say trying to weaponize legal power and COUNTERTERRORISM against a tumblr post by a venting minority is a bit much, no?

some ground rules, okay?

genuinely, legitimately, i would rather you insult me directly than trying to condescend me like this on my own post.

I get to respond with some really nasty, horrible, just downright disgusting stuff leveled at trans men for every example you give, okay?

you can do whatever you want! i do ask that if you're going to bring in "rules," i'd prefer if you also did us both a favor and only used evidence from this year so we're both on a recent page. i'd also appreciate understanding that you are a blog that primarily posts about this discourse and i am a blog that primarily posts about jacksepticeye of all things, so i don't exactly have an excess of screenshots and such on hand here comparatively

i already mentioned txttletale for her good opinions so it seems fitting to start with acknowledging the massive harassment campaign she experienced alongside maia crimew and a few other tgirl bloggers over the ezra toonimal situation, where a trans man preyed on children (on a site where many of the victims were trans girls) and various trans and cis men (tyler neotrances, ptsilenthillremaster, roadhogsbigbelly, etc) decided to insinuate that there was a widespread transfem predator problem and pedojacket based on them reblogging a post with 20k+ notes. here's a post i made about it so i dont have to rescreenshot

and of course when we're talking about major harassment it's absolutely necessary to mention predstrogen and the fact that after the site got her deleted and the ceo sexually harassed her on twt she had to Also deal with people accusing her of threatening rape towards transandrobro trans men (not something she did, the worst thing was that she called someone a "cocksucker", tho transmascpetewentz is a young teen and should certainly not face harassment, he also was chummy with terfs and zionists) all while trans girls were getting spammed sexual harassment in asks bc they spoke out abt it.

note the "gendiebrainrot" url, which really calls into question the recurring choice to accuse trans women of being radfems when transmascs and self-identified "gender critical dysphoric females" comprise enough of the online terf base that terfs post in the transandrophobia tags to put down trans women-

meanwhile the cryptoterfs ^ in the transandrophobia tags interrupt people criticizing the "restrictive" terms tme/tma to use their own restrictive binary when its about how amabs are going to "subjugate afabs" to prevent "terf political force"

though its not surprising to see weird transmisogynistic theorizing on where transandrophobia comes from since thats a recurring theme

people make it about jealousy or sexual attraction, and silence trans women by insisting trans unity just needs to be achieved through trans sexuality and romance (like in the asks above from the predstrogen sitch)

especially bringing up t4t which is funny bc that term started for transfem4transfem lesbians, though ofc its spread

and lastly if you wanna see how the plain and simple transmisogyny continues through callouts i recommend looking through patricia-taxxon's notes from this past month and seeing the way transmascs approach her completely justifiable nervousness. but its very easy to see the blatant misgendering and taking these women wildly out of context and so on.

we can have conversations for a million years about the fact that some trans women are assholes to trans men and vice versa and would probably get nowhere because, in your defense, me making a post where i go "well the trans guys were mean first" is not the best argument. to be completely real with you ive been awake almost 22 hours and i am incredibly sick atm and i should probably have let the post sit in my drafts a bit longer. however!

i think its worthy to note in terms of severity just how prevalently "baeddel" gets thrown around like its not a slur by people who want to argue that "theyfab" is. i highly dislike theyfab as a term except in rather particular situations, but i don't think pointing out that some nonbinary people do in fact use their cagab as a crutch for bad takes is a crazy concept. especially when people compare it to "shemale," and the last time i checked "theyfab" wasn't an incredibly dehumanizing porn category

additionally consider the sheer severity of the actual reaction, not just the words, with trans men vs trans women - spacelazarwolf is a zionist transandrobro who still manages to make it onto my dash every five seconds, but avery predstrogen got hounded off the site... when a trans man says a transmisogynistic slur and says he wishes he could hunt people for sport, that gets a negative reaction, but it doesn't get him fucking fbi reported. ezra toonimal was legitimately an out and proud child predator and still gets to be on this site while the internet accused maia and healed and avery of making lolicon and incest into a hashtag trans thing.

i also think trans men should get the opportunity to talk about their oppression and i absolutely do not think its acceptable for trans women to threaten or harass them, but the denial of context is an issue. as is the denial of trans women just materially, statistically, politically suffering more. i think transmascs venting their frustrations by threatening trans women with violence and sexualization takes on a very particularly bad taste when considering that trans women are the vast majority of trans people killed, and statistics claiming trans men get sexually abused more lack data on v coding in prisons. i think the rampant pedojacketing campaigns on this site and willingness to accept anonymous baseless rape accusations toward tgirls not only are a form of sexual harassment and abuse but that they reflect a greater transmisogynistic dehumanization that characterizes tgirls as predatory freaks. i think that transandrobros chalking up transphobia to anti-masculinity or emphasizing trans women being amab further affects them being seen as a third gender that is inherently oppressed.

i really don't think you're a transfeminist, but i dont hold it against you as i am incredibly familiar with the urge to self flagellate my identity for acceptance. im going to try to nap now

there was a brief period of time when i empathized with transandrobros largely out of my personal discomfort as a nonbinary person with the terms tme/tma - this pretty much entirely dissolved when i began to understand those terms not as obligatorily publicized personal descriptors but as tools with a communicative purpose. perhaps more importantly, i learned that most of the people involved with the proliferation of the "transmisandry/transandrophobia" concept were treating trans women like complete and utter shit and then making tgirls out to be the instigators. for this reason i seriously encourage every transmasc who finds themself feeling riled up against trans women to, like, double check the kind of messages and comments the angry girls are getting. i promise you, it becomes a lot more evident why those women are describing discomfort or fear or bitterness around trans men when you see the kind of sexually abusive, misogynistic, violent messages they're getting first. no, that doesn't excuse every joke or response, but it makes you understand how disproportionate the transmasc reaction can be. and if you can't find what i'm talking about, you don't see any examples of trans men being misogynistic, literally just ask and i'll be happy to provide as wide a range of examples as possible

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game (3)

au where all robins develop a mental link after fighting some magical criminal of the week. what would they see in each other's minds? what secrets and repressed feelings do they discover? how would they deal with it?

for the ask game!

oooh, i love telepathic links that end up revealing secrets. especially with a family like the Batfam, who are usually so convinced they're good enough at reading each other to not have many secrets kept. so weird reveals are always fun

if i did this, i'd do DamiTim. just because of all the like, "deep dark feelings that are being hidden" for Robin shipping, DamiTim is the most fun for me. you expect DickTim or DickJay or JayTim, even DamiDick. but there's something that's so enjoyable about Damian having his feelings forcibly outted. not just to Tim, but to everyone. the way it'd be an active landmine none of them knowing what to say but all feeling each other's reactions. i honestly think Damian would try to punch somebody about it. (also, if you do a history of TImSteph where they've had sex, Damian would be directly linked to Steph's memories of how Tim was in bed, so that's fun as both something horrifying and enlightening just to screw with his feelings some more.) would they end up together? in my head probably, but it'd be weird and likely toxic bc how do you date someone you know inside out and know exactly what they think of all your flaws and what parts of you they obsess over. the answer is not very well but hey, the sex is good-

i think Jason *directly* feeling how everyone felt about his death would really rock him. he's heard all the apologies, but part of him isn't convinced there's truth to them. so to be crushed by Dick's *grief* over his death would be a come to jesus moment for him. but on the less fun flipside, you have him feeling how Dick feels about him *now*. because Dick doesn't really *like* Jason and deep down, sees Jason as a lost cause. that's his "deep dark secret". and Jason would feel and know that from the one person who he still wants to believe in him. i really do think Jason would have the Worst Time with all this, overwhelmed with everyone's intimate and complex feelings over his death. Jason is a very defensive person when it comes to his death and how reactionary he gets when other people make it about them, not him. so for Jason to have to constantly deal with that in his head, i truly do think he'd lash out a bit. the arguments. yelling at Dick and feeling Dick's guilt and snapping bc Dick has no right to feel guilty now. feeling that Tim viewed Jason as a failure. it's just a damaging mindspace to be in and man do i think Jason would take a While to recover.

oddly though, i think it'd be a good bonding moment for Steph and Jason. we really don't get much exploration of Steph and Jason bonding over dying. bc sure, Steph didn't actually die, but she *did* experience the social death where everyone believed she was dead and mourned her as such for a good while. she also felt *directly* responsible for her own death. a lot of blame falls on Steph for War Games (for the Doylist reasons of sexism but yk) and Jason feels responsible for his own death for walking into a trap. but unlike Jason, Steph had no suit in a case, no memorials, her name held no infamy. so i think she deserves just a bit of righteous fury about how dramatic Jason can be while she just has to move on bc hey, it's not like she *really* died. and she buries those feelings well, but not well enough to hide them from a mental link. and Jason, who hasn't really considered Steph before because he was so wrapped up in his complex over Tim, confronts those feelings with her. if anyone is going to know how he feels, it's going to be her. you could do it platonic or romantic, but i do think when Jason sinks to his lowest, she's the one who snaps him out of it, both with tough love and genuine compassion for his situation.

for the less serious crack of it all: they're all going to have far too intimate knowledge of each other's sex lives. everyone's gonna know Dick has fucked Slade. everyone's gonna know Jason has fucked Talia. in my heart, i believe Tim has slept with Anarky (Lonnie, not Ulysses) and everyone would *know* that too. absolute judgment all around. it's the spider-man meme of "wait you've done WHAT with WHO" and honestly, it gives a nice distraction for the more serious feelings. it's a palette cleanser they can default to. like when the fighting gets a little too serious and they're cutting too deep for comfort, someone's going to blurt out "well at least i didn't fuck Deathstroke." and the whole moment goes awry with laughter. bc i do think, at the end of it once they get through the worst of the angst, they'd be closer for it and self-aware of the ridiculous nature of all this. it's enlightening, in a way to see how they all felt about their time as Robin and the baggage/trauma they hold. even the ugliest feelings they hold for each other don't completely suffocate the fondness/respect.

that said, knowing the baggage/trauma. oof. i don't think Dick has ever fully opened up about his history with Mirage/Tarantula/Liu and now it's forced to sit in the open. Damian has never admitted the worst of being raised in the League. Tim hasn't fully faced the suffocating image of his dead father and his deep-seated want to kill Boomerang. all those ugly truths they stamp down bc well, either you're a vigilante or you're a well adjusted person, are out in the open now. and it's ugly and gruesome to force those thoughts to be shared. they all want to comfort each other for different reasons, while simultaneously not wanting their own trauma to be acknowledged. it'd be fun to see who'd instinctively react to whose trauma first. because it's an overwhelming rush of information, and you just naturally get pulled in certain directions. i think Damian would react to Dick's history of sexual abuse first, whereas Jason would be reacting to the murderous rage TIm is trying to fight off. Tim is reacting to just how much guilt Steph carries about War Games and all of it is very crunchy. there's so much they'd all have to talk about and it'd take days for them to address it all, between the arguments about the ugly parts. would they come out stronger for it? yes. but only if they didn't kill each other in the process. i hesitate to do a "and they come out one big happy family" ending, bc it's not very in canon, but i do think the bond of the Robin mantle is something special. even when the link is broken, they hold onto a freakish understanding of each other. they react and move in sync, can fight together without needing words. are they emotionally on the same page/have they forgiven each other for the worst of it? absolutely not. but they've got each other backs. it's a very much "if you called i'd drop everything to save you. but also we don't have it in us to hang out casually." bond, which i think is deeply underrated in fanfiction. sometimes, you can care about people but you have to do it from a distance.

[welcometogrouchland]

Noticing that TV and film will often have a character either have had an abortion in the past that isn't showcased on screen (and just used as part of the character's ~fucked up and twisted backstory~) OR contemplate getting an abortion in the present day but not to through with it. Just once I want to see someone delete that fetus within the events of the plot and not be like. Extremely majorly punished for it and/or be in the wrong

[sergle]

sergle i thought you didn't like ppl objectifying you :/

god okay this gave me whiplash. make sure you remember how to read before proceeding. sound words out for a friend or family member if you need to. People Being Thirsty in my general direction is different from people like. seeing me only as JO material. I Don't Like people thinking they're smooth as hell trying to dm me what they assume women want to hear. Describing some cringe ass shit. I Do Like a compliment. I even like a compliment that is clearly thirsty. I don't think "I've jacked off to you" is a compliment. not from yall anyway. super controversial, I know. a fat fetish blog following me and reblogging my selfies Is objectification. someone being vaguely horny can be good, or bad, or funny and I show it to ppl on discord and laugh- depends on the specifics. Most of the people following me are too uwu to even get close to the line. they've backed so far away from the line out of fear that they tripped over something while they were backing up and it was embarrassing for them. People trying to push me into sex work specifically while I'm fundraising, because they know I'm more vulnerable at that time and they want to take advantage of me needing money, is definitely sexual harassment, that's definitely me being objectified. the ask I just got, though, was not that. 😭 just telling me that some girls think I'm hot? that is tepid as hell. thinking someone is attractive isn't objectifying them. all attraction is not objectification. please. work with me here

[lesbiancarat]

want to give my two cents on the AI usage in the maestro trailer--

i think seventeen doing a whole concept that is anti-AI is very cool, especially as creatives themselves i think it's good that they're speaking up against it and i hope it gets more ppl talking about the issue. i also understand on a surface level the artistic choice (whether it was made by the members, the mv director, or whoever else), to directly use AI in contrast to real, human-made visuals and music in order to criticize it. i also appreciate that they clearly stated the intention of the use of AI at the beginning of the video

however, although i understand it to an extent, i do not agree with the choice to use AI to critique AI. one of the main ethical concerns with generative AI is that it is trained on other artists' work without their knowledge, consent, or compensation. and even when AI generated images are being used to critique AI, it still does not negate this particular ethical concern

the use of AI to critique also does not negate the fact that this is work that could have been done by an actual artist. i have seen some people argue that it's okay in this context because it's a critique specifically about AI, and it is content that never would have been done by a real artist anyway because it doesn't make sense for the story they're trying to tell. but i disagree. i think you can still tell the exact same story without using AI

and in fact, i would argue that it would make the anti-AI message stronger if they HAD paid an artist to draw/animate the scenes that are supposed to represent AI generated images. wouldn't it just be proof that humans can create images that are just as bad and nonsensical and soulless as AI, but that AI can't replicate the creativity and beauty and basic fucking anatomy that's in human-made art?

it feels very obvious this was not just a way to cut corners and costs like a lot of scummy people are using AI for. ultimately it was a very intentional creative decision, i just personally think it was a very poor one. and even if some ethical considerations were taken into account before this decision, i certainly don't think all of them were. at the very least i feel like the decision undermines the message they want to convey

i would also like to recognize that i myself am not an artist, and i have seen some artists that are totally on board with the use of AI in this specific context, so clearly this is not a topic that is cut and dry. but generative AI is still new, and i think it's important to keep having these conversations

[chemicalarospec]

Kiss/fuck marry kill is such a funny game because it's like. Are you SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to this person, LIKE THEM and think they'd be good in a LONG-TERM PARTNERSHIP, or HATE THEIR GUTS AND WANT THEM TO DIE?

[britneyshakespeare]

Had the extremely upsetting experience of a mutual of like 6 years going off on me for occasionally making posts about supporting Harris because apparently that makes me a g n cide denier who refuses to learn and grow, with all of my views just being assumed not even from what I've told them I believe or what I've posted before, but just because I DON'T post particularly the kind of things they THINK I should be. When I pointed out how much they were just completely assuming about stuff I'd never talked to them about, I was told it doesn't matter what I do in real life or "care" about if I simply disagree with their conclusion and vote for her anyway. Like they were absolutely not sorry for the level of maliciousness they not just assumed of my character, but for some reason thought appropriate to bring directly to me before unfollowing me. No apology whatsoever for how discomforting or upsetting that might be and certainly no acknowledgment that I could disagree with them and still be a good person. I just got another even longer rant about how they fundamentally can't fuck with me because of this one thing, no matter WHAT else I do in my real life (which I pointed out that they do not know), and how I'm directly supporting fascism.

Like seriously what is it about Tumblr that makes people think they know someone based off of occasional posts? There were just such DEEP assumptions they were making of me and going off of very little or absolutely nothing. Around the time I first became mutuals with that person I used to express my personality and beliefs and talk about what was going on in my life a lot more openly, but I've significantly scaled back on doing that in many ways for many reasons. One of my major ones is privacy and the way I've had strangers outside my followers and following circles just find random things I say and dogpile me for it. I was fundamentally changed after some T Fs did that to me like 3 years ago. I also just didn't have many conversations w that person anymore (I message people in general on here like 10x less than I did circa 2018-2019, which I'm somewhat sorry about!). My point is to say I think this person felt comfortable assuming that they knew me, especially who I am in 2024 at the age of 25, much better than they actually did.

One of the specific things they accused me of was being afraid of learning and growing (because I don't perform social media activism on here like they think I should). Like AFRAID to take criticism. When again I've never received criticism from them or had to respond to any criticism on here before as pertaining to my views on... well, absolutely any of the issues they accused me of not caring about. They essentially treated it as if the only thing in the world I cared about was the US election and characterized me as the most out-of-touch liberal they could possibly imagine, because I'm not "pushing" Kamala Harris to be better (Oh?? Should I do that on here?? Does she read my blog??).

And most hypocritically what they said was that I only *sometimes* *vaguely* post pro-Harris things (I often post like 5 or fewer things in a day though?). But here's the kicker. "Because I know I'll get shit for it. And rightfully so."

Really????? Not a single person, anon or not, in my messages or in a tagged post or anything, has ever given me shit before for saying who I'm voting for. I'm actually NOT afraid of "getting shit" for that opinion, I just don't start fights with people who are anti-voting. And why should I??? I genuinely don't believe in trying to change the minds of strangers on the internet about that sort of thing. I'm just not confrontational about it; that is so not the same thing as being "afraid of getting shit." I'm not posting ENOUGH about my support for Harris, therefore I'm afraid. But therefore they can also make all these assumptions about me being their strawman for an ignorant Harris supporter.

I'm afraid of getting shit but I still post anyway? But if I weren't afraid of getting shit I'd be posting a lot more?? This is ALL based on their assumptions of what my blog *should* look like, based on what I really and truly believe. My level of posting every now and then is an accurate gauge of my feelings on complex, sensitive, global issues. Because I'm voting for the Democratic presidential candidate and I'm ok sharing pretty much just that little glimpse of myself.

I really don't think that person knows just how inappropriate and insulting that is to just say all of that to me. Like they really know what's going on in my head. Their first message began and ended with like "I'm sorry I love you I just can't take it anymore" but they clearly weren't sorry enough to try and be more respectful to me, and they didn't love me enough not to default to extremely ungenerous assumptions and attacking me based off of those instead of any actual words I've said that they take issue with.

Online radicalization is real and it's not necessarily bad because your political views can start to fall well out of the contemporary Overton window. The way you find it appropriate to treat people whose views, however common, seem to fundamentally misalign with yours... that does matter. You can't just assume the worst of everyone and then act on that in how you approach them as individuals. And then be shocked that you don't stay friends with them. You can't be confrontational with someone about an issue you've never had an honest conversation about, and then expect them to take your bad faith in them as reasonable well-meaning criticism.

I'm afraid of criticism??? I'm afraid of criticism. No I'm not. This person and I have never had an issue before where they criticized me and I got harshly defensive. It was ALL projection. The entire tone of their messages was as if all their anti-voting posts recently were somehow in communication with the occasional go-vote-for-Harris posts that I make. That's not a conversation. I don't post for your satisfaction. I don't post in "response" to my mutuals I disagree with. I just post what's on my mind, sometimes, about some things. I really again can't stress enough how baffled I am by this

[autistic-beshelar]

ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him

[sleepinglionhearts]

I hate catching little illnesses here and there - sudden upset stomach, migraines, overstimulation & resulting exhaustion, etc - and then missing work over it. Not necessarily because I Love My Job So Much but more like.. when my coworkers take time off, it's usually for something fun or for a nice break. I don't have the ability to do that because all of the time off I could use for fun or a break has already been used because I'm fucking sick

[daz4i]

how many times do we gotta go over it man. thought crime isn't real. it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling. don't let anyone make you feel guilty for having some reflex reaction to stimuli in a way that is out of your control. the question isn't what you think or how you feel, but what you do. do you act upon those thoughts? do you harm others bc of your feelings? that's where you draw the line. keep it in your brain. vent it out in some personal way like a journal or a password locked blog. it's okay i promise

[rabbithaver]

every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space

i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !