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#like i need to prove they exist to myself more than i need anyone to read them
drchucktingle · 8 months
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THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION HAVE ISSUED AN APOLOGY AND A RE-INVITATION. HERE IS MY STATEMENT
hello buckaroos. the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION have issued a formal statement and apology which you can read at the attached link.
while i find the language used to discuss what was done a little unsatisfying, i would like to start by saying i appreciate anyone taking steps to prove love is real and make things right. the genuine feeling of ‘realizing you have made a mistake and hurt someone else’ is a terrible one, and i have so much empathy for this group as they reckon with their choices causing harm. i appreciate their apology.
i also think more good than bad has come from this situation. i am so thankful this happened to me (someone with a large social media presence) and not a smaller buckaroo author without the means to stand up for themselves. i think the next time someone comes to the TXLA with an accommodation need, they will hopefully be taken more seriously
lets trot down to business about specifics now. the TXLA has re-invited chuck to the original panel and even offered to take a moment at the top of the panel to talk about what happened. this is very kind of them and i will say THANK YOU. 
unfortunately i will also have to decline.
the fact that it took this much effort, social media backlash, and discussion to let me simply EXIST PHYSICALLY in a way that is authentic to myself is not a good sign. if this organization immediately questions an authors chosen presentation in this manner, i cannot imagine what my other accommodations would be met with.
sometimes i am at an event and i very quickly need extra space to breathe. sometimes i am at an event and i need special guides to help me along from place to place. these are not ‘big asks’ and every other conference has gladly provided them, but if the TXLA had this kind of initial reaction to my physical appearance, i cannot imagine them readily helping with my other needs without ‘proof’.
this is clearly not a safe place to trot for those who require additional accommodations. regardless of any apology, their ACTIONS have shown that people who appear unusual or unique are not welcome at this event on a subconscious level. i believe the TXLA have some serious inner work to do beyond this apology, and i believe this inner work will involve actions more than words.
but even more importantly i would like to make this very important point: IT DOES NOT MATTER IF MY MASK IS A DISABILITY AID OR NOT. i appreciate the way this discussion has allowed us to trot out some deep talks on autism and proved love in this way, but i think there is a much more important point at hand.
regardless of WHAT someone looks like, it is not the job of an event or conference to pick apart WHY. physical presentation can be a part of someones neurodivergence, or gender, or sexuality, but i can also just exist as a nebulous undefined part of their inner self. it can be a piece they are not ready to openly discuss yet. the guests at TXLA are authors (aka ARTISTS) and the idea that a conference dedicated to an ART is going to deny people with unique and unusual presentations for ANY reason is absurd. since when are we applying a ‘dress code’ to our artists?
without knowing it, i personally believe there is an element of the ‘good queer, bad queer’ phenomenon going on here. there is a push to say ‘LOOK we accept these marginalized groups and cultures’ but behind the scenes that means ‘we accept these marginalized groups and cultures who are quiet and speak in turn and wear the metaphorical suit and tie’. it is easy to show diversity when you only take on the voices that arent too ‘strange’.
to prove my point i ask you this: do you think orville peck would have FOR ONE SECOND been asked to perform at the texas library association event without his mask?
so with that i say ‘very sincerely, thank you, but i will have to decline the re-invitation. maybe next year’
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verysanebsdfan · 7 months
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Saiki Kusuo dating headcanons
Saiki Kusuo x Average!GN!reader They/them pronouns used Not requested but I felt the need to post something<3
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Okay so, y/n is the most average person in class 2-3. Unnoticed by all, but as we very well know, Saiki likes averageness. So after some time, he noticed you
He first only liked your averageness, but by the time, he made a habit of listening to your thoughts.
Whatever you were thinking about, he knew and mentally noted what you like, what you don't like etc.
After some time, a teacher assigned a project in pairs, and Saiki and you ended together. With the help of his powers.
You two exchanged contacts <3
After the project, you started hanging out more. Saiki really likes your averageness, but what he also loves are Teruhashi's jealous thoughts
"What are they doing with MY Saiki?! They aren't even that good looking! what does he see in them" Well Teruhashi, it's y/n<3
But Teruhashi's thoughts made Saiki think. Did he like you? nonsense- or....
He stopped with the denial phase when you gave him a birthday gift, a lot of coffee jelly. You would have gave him a coupon or take him to a café, but you know that he prefers quiet, not that it is quiet with other people's thoughts constantly sounding in his head. But when he is with you, he still feels comfortable, and doesn't mind the thoughts of other people as much<3
He feels guilty that you don't know about his powers, so one day, when you two are hanging out at his place, he tells you, with the cute guilty face, so you ask him to prove it or smth and then end up cuddling and telling him that you don't mind him being a psychic<3 that made him love you even more
After some time, he finally confesses. It went something like "I like you." but through gritted teeth "what?" "Don't make me repeat myself" *sighs in tsundere* and then you laugh together and BOOM cutest couple of PK academy to ever exist!
As big of a tsundere he can be, that mf still loves you as much as coffee jelly...no...more than coffee jelly
My guys love language is a acts of service<3
He may not be the greatest at expressing his emotions but, you don't have your favorite snacks? Look again. You don't feel well? He will make you a soup and a tea, and change the cloth on your forehead<3 Someone is rude to you or makes you uncomfortable? Please hold him so he doesn't do anything illegal.
And lemme tell you, his parents LOVE you<3 you are already basically part of the family.
My guy doesn't want you to meet Kusuke and he will do anything in his power for it to not happen.
I feel like even if you guys wouldn't wanna tell the friend group, they would discover it. Like in a really stupid way yk, something like Nendo saw you or Chiyo persistently asked if you have crush on anyone so you just told her because Saiki would be jealous if you made some crush up<3
I feel like he wouldn't leave you, and i hope you wouldn't leave him either>:(
you grow old together<3
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Okay so this was my first x reader.
I hope it's good<3
Stay safe, drink water, take care ily always bye
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I've loved you for a thousand years and I'll love you for a thousand more.
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Summary: Telling your husband you remember your life together goes smoothly, until you feel the need to prove it to him....and he agrees.
Word Count: 3.1k
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.
"I remember."
Daemon's eyes lit up at the words that had been spoken. You remembered him. You remembered. He didn't want to scare you so didn't react immediately, he waited to let it sink in really truly sink in...you remembered?. Daemon was so happy at what you had said. "My love…" Daemon said in a voice filled with joy and tears. "It's me… Daemon.. your Daemon.." He continued. "Do you remember me? Us? Our marriage?" Daemon asked, looking for any sort of confirmation of what you already told him. You slowly moved closer as you placed your hands on his chest smiling up at him with the same lovestruck look that you had been giving him since you married him, gently nodding your head and placing your hands on his chest "Yes I do. We've been married for years since children practically, and we've left King's landing more times than anyone can count, when we got married you gave me a dragon egg and taught me everything about them, you taught me how to fight and take down many a man much larger than myself….that I love you and often sneak away no matter how busy because we can't keep our hands off of each other."
Daemon's heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest. Finally, your mind was returned to you. Daemon couldn't believe you had said all those things, he just hoped that you understood what they meant. You were starting to seem like your old self, and it was the light Daemon had been waiting on for ages. Daemon laughed and hugged you as if this was confirmation all his dreams had come true. "You have no idea how many prayers I've sent up for your return to me," Daemon said, his voice soft and filled with love. Daemon smiled at your words and as your hand placed themselves on his chest, daemon felt a warm sensation wash over him. It was real. All of his efforts had been seen through and you were back to normal. You were back to loving and touching Daemon as you once did. It was a feeling Daemon had missed so dearly. He laughed at the idea of your last claim, he wasn't used to you being this brazen. "Y/n.." Daemon started. "I never thought I would hear those words from you again. You are everything." Daemon said, his voice filled with joy.
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as a few tears fell from your eyes and down your cheeks at how much you had been missing without even knowing it, looking into his violet eyes as if he hung the moon and stars just for you "I'm sorry my love, but I'm back" Leaning in closer to him brushing your lips against his as you whispered to him "You are my sun, my moon, and the air I breathe. To me, nothing exists except you I love you my Daemon". Daemon felt like he was going to cry himself as you embraced him, your tears touching his cheeks while you showered him with your affection. He couldn't believe his ears. You remembered everything. "Darling…" Daemon felt like he would explode, his heart was beating a thousand times a second. "I've missed you so much." He said in a soft tone, as it filled him with happiness. And then you kissed him as if this was something you would do again and again for the past ten years. Daemon felt whole again.
Daemon kissed you back softly and gently. His heart had never been fuller than it was right now. He knew all of the struggle he put into getting you back and it was all worth it. You had your memories from your life together. Daemon held you close, he felt so content at this moment. Holding you once more as he kissed your neck softly. "Forever, my sweet love," Daemon said with a contented smile. "Forever." Tenderly kissing him happy with his words as if nothing had changed but saddened that he needed to feel that way as you had around, smiling at him as you pulled him closer and kissed him again slowly letting the passion build as your fingers ran through his platinum blonde locks before barely pulling away from the kiss as you looked up at him keeping your voice light and breathy as she spoke "Shall I make it up to my sweet husband for losing so much time with each other? show you truly just how much I remember?".
Daemon felt butterflies erupt in his stomach as your hand moved through his hair and your lips pressed back against his. It was even better than he had imagined it would be. When you pulled away Daemon was speechless for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. "Oh my Lady, you have shown me enough already, but I won't deny you the opportunity to show me more," Daemon said, his voice a seductive whisper. He wanted to take his wife back tonight, if he could. And if you allowed it. He most certainly would. As the two of you slowly get closer together, Daemon slowly lifted your chin up and brought your mouth nearer to his. He kissed you softly at first but then, in the heat of it all, your tongue met in what would be one of the most electrifying moments of your life. Daemon's lips pressed harder against yours as if trying to make up for the nearly two-and-a-half months of longing for your touch. Finally, his hands traveled down to your back, pressing you against his chest. A hand held your back, while the other cradled the back of your head, giving him better control of the kiss.
Daemon couldn't help but laugh as your tongues danced with one another. It was a feeling he had missed, being lost in one another. It took no time at all for Daemon to be under your spell once more, his body close and his voice low and seductive. He wanted nothing more than to take you right here. He felt as if time was a thing of the past as he pushed you against the wall, slowly beginning to take off the clothes of you. His hand grabbed your hip and pulled you closer to him. He wanted this to be the best night your memory would never forget. You gasped for breath in between the kisses as your body pressed against the wall of your shared bed chamber. You were breathing heavily and moaning softly as he caressed your soft skin. You were getting lost in his touch, your eyes closed. Your hands traced the muscles of his body as you held him tightly, wanting to feel his heat against you.
Daemon was in heaven, kissing you now felt more natural than ever. Your soft breaths against his lips was like music in his ears. He was slowly losing himself as well. Daemon felt your hands run over his body, your fingers dancing along his skin with ease as your kisses increased in intensity. The heat emanating from the touch alone was enough to send him over. He wanted more, he wanted all that he could get with you right now. Daemon's hands moved to your hips, his touch more demanding. You moaned quietly into his mouth, your lips parting in invitation as you leaned back against the wall. You let him take what he wanted, loving the feeling of his hands over your skin. Your hips pushed against his, wanting more. You slowly opened your eyes and glanced at him as he moved to hold your hips as if to show you who was in charge. Your hands moved from his back to move up his shirt, trying to open it so that you could finally touch each other's skin. Your fingers were shaking from the anticipation. A fire was growing inside you and you felt the need to be closer to him, deeper inside you.
Daemon was in control of you now, the power shift turning him on beyond imagination. You were his wife and he was going to act like it. Daemon's hands moved up your legs, towards the buttons on your clothing. He unbuttoned your shirt and ripped it off your body in one swift movement. Daemon's shirt soon followed as he ripped the top apart. He looked at you as if he had never seen you in all your beauty. His eye ran up and down your figure, the sight of you driving him to madness. You groaned with desire as he ripped your shirt off and left you in your black bra. You looked at him for a second, before smiling once more. "You are like a dragon in heat. My Daemon. The fire inside of me is burning." You took his arm and brought him closer to you. "We do not need to be apart any longer. Let us make love like we're newly wed again." You told him, as you kissed him passionately, with a lot of lust.
Daemon growled at your words before biting down on your lower lip. As they kissed, Daemon's hands traveled all over your body. They traced your curves and ran through your hair. Daemon leaned you against the wall as a light grin danced on his lips. His eyes were filled with passion and lust. Daemon didn't want to take things slow. He wanted to love you and for you to love him right now. As he kissed you with his tongue entering your mouth, Daemon let out a soft moan. Daemon felt his clothing unbuttoned and removed. You felt his tongue exploring your mouth and his hands exploring your body. You felt his hands moving to your back and taking off your bra, freeing the skin that was hidden under. You kissed back desperately and caressed his hair as he explored more of your body. Your fingers trailed across his chest and stomach as a teasing touch. "Make love to me here and now." You moaned as you grabbed him and pulled him closer, against the wall.
You were making Daemon crazy. He desperately wanted you and he would have you, here and now. Even if you couldn't remember all the details of the last two months, Daemon was ready to show you that he hadn't forgotten anything. Daemon's eyes were burning at this moment. He picked you up, his tongue still exploring your mouth. As he did this he began moving you to your bed. He laid you against it and moved closer to you. He gently started to run his hands over your body, your skin like butter to his touch. You gasped when he laid you on the bed and touched you. As his lips descended to your neck, you arched your back in pleasure. You moaned with his touch. Your hands moved to his hair once more, caressing it again. He was practically taking you to heaven with what he was doing to you and you were loving it. "My love," Daemon whispered, letting you melt into the bed. He began to kiss your neck, letting his tongue explore along your body. His lips danced across your skin, nibbling and licking lightly. He let his hand wander across your body again, exploring your form and touching you. As he did, he grew harder and harder, wanting to be inside you already. "Are you ready?" he asked, his voice laced with lustful need.
"Yes... Daemon..." You whispered as Daemon began to touch you, letting your body melt as a candle would. You moaned quietly, wanting your husband to make you his again. You wanted so badly to please him. He was the love of your life, and nothing mattered more to you than him. As Daemon’s hand continues to explore every curve of your body, you moaned softly in his ear, your body starting to react to him. You leaned in to kiss him passionately, your tongues dancing against each other as you both search for more of it. “I am ready,” you whispered. You looked at Daemon, your eyes filled with lust and desire. "Good," Daemon whispered, letting his hot breath caress your lips. He lifted himself up, his body strong and toned, his frame looking all the more impressive by the light of the candelabras that illuminated your room. He bent down as he took you into his arms, pressing the length of his body against yours as you shared a deep, passionate kiss. His tongue danced with yours, his hands cupping your face, caressing your neck and squeezing your thighs. He was ready to make you his, and he was going to take his fill after waiting so long and not touching you while you recovered.
You moaned as you felt Daemon’s body against your own. Your hands run along his strong arms and back, and your lips follow as well. You pulled Daemon closer to you, your body craving for his. With one quick movement, you pulled Daemon on top of you, your legs wrapping around him. “Take me,” You whispered in his ear as you looked into his eyes hungrily. Your hands grab Daemon’s waist, pulling him closer to you. "Oh, darling," Daemon whispered, his hands massaging your thighs, his hips moving against yours as he kept his thrusts slow not wanting to rush anything. Your voice was music to his ears, and your body was a delicious feast for his eyes to feast upon. He kissed you again, his tongue exploring your mouth, your taste filling him with desire. He could not wait any longer; he had to have her. Daemon moved away from you slightly, giving himself a moment to admire your body before he gently pushed your legs against your chest as his cock started going deeper.
You gasped as Daemon kissed you so passionately, and you felt his hips moving against yours. You moaned loudly, as the kiss turned even deeper and lust-filled. Your hands run through Daemon's hair, pulling him closer and closer to you. When Daemon spreads your legs open, you started to shiver a little as your body reacts to his, and the tension began to release more. Your hands slowly touch his hips and back, your fingers gripping against his skin leaving marks. "Oh... Yes...," you spoke as your head tilted back moaning. "Ah Y/n," Daemon moaned into your mouth, moving his mouth down your body, and trailing kisses down your neck. He let his fingers brush against your skin, his tongue running over your body, his lips moving down to your breasts. He teased your nipples with his tongue, his voice a deep grumble as he let you know how much he wanted you, how much you made him want you, and how much he missed you. “Oh,” You said, “Yes!” as the tension between you both grew. He was ready and you were ready, and nothing was going to stop either of you.
Your entire body is shaking as you felt Daemon's hands and mouth on you, and you gripped onto the bed sheets tightly. You were left breathless, you panted heavily and sweat is running down your body leaving your body with a glow as one pleasure sensation after another is taking over you. You continued to moan loudly as the tension between you is releasing, and you were finally in your moment of pleasure. "Daemon..." you gasped as Daemon slides deeper inside of you quickening his pace. "Oh, yes..." "Just like that" Daemon moaned into your ear, his voice deep, rough, and hoarse. He let his face sink into the crook of your neck panting against your skin, breathing deeply as he felt your body shake beneath him. His body fit yours perfectly, and once his cock slammed inside of your warm pussy, you seemed to be his entire world. His hips moved quickly back and forth as he drove deeply inside you, his breaths heavy and quick.
Moaning loudly as all the tension is finally released and your body became his all over again. Your hands grab the bed sheet tightly as you feel his hips moving slowly back and forth into you, your own body moving from one pleasure shock to another. Your breathing is becoming heavy and fast, and your whole body shakes as you were reaching your peak of pleasure. Daemon groaned heavily, his body moving faster and faster as his breathing came in heavy, ragged gasps. His thrusts got faster and harder as his body finally reached the release he'd been looking for having grown used to using you instead of his hand or any whores. You were shaking as if you were having a fever as the pleasure took over your body and mind. Your whole body is trembling, your heart beating faster and faster as your breath is becoming a whisper, and your cunt tightened around Daemon's cock as you finally reached your climax.
Daemon moaned loudly as his body let loose of its final tension, his whole body shaking with his release. His breathing was slow but heavy, and his mind focused on his wife's pleasure as his hand ran through your hair as he was still deep inside you. His chest was heaving quickly, and he was exhausted from your lovemaking, but he felt alive. "My love…" he whispered, "Oh… I've missed you…" You were almost speechless as the pleasure was slowly fading and you slowly but finally came back to reality. You looked up at Daemon and saw the way he was looking at you. Your body relaxed in his arms and you smiled as Daemon’s hand ran through your hair and pressed yourself closer to him. "Daemon..." you whispered softly as you looked at him, your breath still heavy and your body still shaking. "Oh... My Daemon..." you giggled softly and then kissed him on the lips tenderly.
Daemon kissed you back lovingly, his body still tingling from the lovemaking. He was still gasping for breath as he let out a sigh of pleasure, his fingers still running through your hair as he smiled. He felt as though he was in heaven, his wife's beautiful body still close to him, your warmth and beauty around him. Daemon caressed your cheek softly, his eyes moving over your face in admiration. You were his light: his fire, his passion, his love. Nothing else mattered in his eyes right now, nothing else had ever mattered to him besides you.
"I've loved you for what feels like a thousand years…And I'll love you for a thousand more my love."
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Okay, if you were asked who are in Merlin BBC that you can see based on canon that are gay/bi/pan/demi, which characters are they? Why?
I’m just gonna note that I’m not attached to any sexuality headcanon because people are going to have different opinions and it seems daft to lose more than half the fan content (art, fics, etc) just because of a headcanon. I’ll read more or less anything, I play around with queer themes in my writing fairly regularly and multiship everyone in the show, sometimes with characters from other fandoms too, but these are the sexualities I’ve written most of for each character otherwise this would be way too long.
And I know I’m assigning modern understandings of sexuality to medieval characters, but it’s a show with dragons and magic, also capes, a French castle, and whatever the hell that chainmail was so I think I can be excused for my historical inaccuracy.
Merlin: either gay or bi with a a preference for men. I could never get myself to really like Freya in the show, she wasn’t bad and I didn’t hate her, I usually just forget about her because it was one episode so I didn’t have enough time to get attached. She deserved more screen time and I love what the fandom has done with her character, but I usually see her where Merlin’s shipped with someone else so I honestly forget their romance exists most of the time. Other than that, I usually see him shipped with knights or Arthur or if he’s shipped with another woman, it’s someone who didn’t get enough screen time to get attached, or a mergwenthur (is that their ship name?) poly relationship.
Arthur: bi and demi. He needs time to like someone, canonically only started wearing a shirt after he got married but he walked around his chambers naked when it was just Merlin/no sexual implications in a servant of two masters. I’ve done deep dive character analysis into that and what it says for their trust of one another if anyone’s interested. It goes into them being platonic but acting like a couple and why meant so much for me to see as a kid and also why I think that proves their relationship is more than words can fully encapsulate. Also he’s had crushes on men and women so bi just fits.
Gwen: bi with a preference for men, she and Morgana had chemistry and I ship them pre season 3 but after that, not so much. Also had crushes on Lancelot, Merlin and married Arthur. They’re an adorable couple, honestly I love them. I don’t really have much else to say.
Morgana: aroace lesbian. Just my favourite headcanon, I like that she never had a canon relationship but she definitely had chemistry with Gwen. They’re just sweet together. I don’t know, mostly just vibes and my desire for more aroace rep.
Lancelot: bi with a preference for women. Gwen and Merlin. Yeah, that’s pretty much all I have to say. I just love that he’s such a great guy, I don’t think there’s anything more to it than two crushes in canon and vibes. I’ve written him as unlabelled or queer a fair amount, it really just depends.
Leon: Romance and sex averse aroace. Again, I just want representation and think he’s cool. I’ve seen him shipped with others, but I tend to default to aroace Leon in my own works more than anything else. Occasionally I’ll give him a qpr but it just depends on what I’m writing.
Gwaine: aromatic pansexual, he likes flirting but I think the idea of a permanent long term relationship would be “the one to tie him down” and it never entirely fits right. I’ve seen him shipped with Percival, I love that but usually if I’m writing it, I’ll have them in a qpr. I think he definitely feels low levels of romantic attraction but not enough to want a romantic relationship with someone, he loves so much, just not in the traditional ways and writing aroallo Gwaine is always super fun.
Elyan: I headcanon Elyan as trans masc but I don’t think I’ve got any specific headcanons for his sexuality. I’ve probably written him straight slightly more than anything else, but it’s a close tie between writing him straight and bi. It never usually comes up, so maybe just unlabelled or queer. I don’t know, he’s just Elyan. That’s all really.
Percival: I know in canon he had a wife and kids, I write him as being gay more than anything else, but my main headcanon tends to be that he’s bi or pan. Purely based on vibes but if it’s not relevant to the plot, I won’t bother mentioning it.
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catastrophicdisasters · 2 months
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alright i need to ramble abt TUA s4 somewhere that isn't at someone who doesn't care lmao
putting it under a see more bc a lot of it is based on stuff that's been said in the recent cast interviews and could definitely be considered spoilers
tl;dr: a theory post about who, if anyone, i think is going to die this season (and why, ranked by how narratively coherent i think their death would be, and how it would - or wouldn't - round off their character arc)
emphasis on the "i think", as obviously this is my opinion on what i think would make a satisfying narrative
so, in one of the interviews from today, Robert is asked how he feels about the "kind of sacrifice" at the end of the story, and his response is "yeah there's a kind of death that happens" and to then wax philosophical about physical death vs the kind of death that happens when the memory or the person is gone, and how there's a "kind of passing that happens"
and like, most people are convinced that someone's going to die by the end of the season, myself included, but i've just had another idea Robert really talked AROUND the word death, saying "a kind of death" and "a passing", and with him talking about that 'do you die when you physically die or when nobody alive can remember you' style thing, I'm thinking that maybe someone gets themselves erased from the timelines
so they still EXIST, as theyre not physically dead, but because nobody can remember them, it's still a kind of death (exactly like Robert said)
whether or not that person retains their memories is kind of irrelevant, though them keeping them does make for a more tragically satisfying arc - they gave up their existence to keep their family safe/save the world, and yet none of them will ever look at them with recognition or love again, and will never truly know just what they did for them. i think that could be done really well, as there's a special kind of beauty in a character who is happy to accept their own end in order to protect those they love (also, if i wanted to get super analytical of that, i could draw parallels between that idea and the trailer's choice of song - The End; the opening song of The Black Parade album, the funeral song that kicks off the narrative album with themes such as the life that comes after death-)
~
now, with that said, i want to go off about who my top choices for death/erasure actually are:
well, first i want to say who i don't think it's going to be, and that's Diego and Lila. and that is because they've set up this little family arc for them via Lila's pregnancy, and right from ep1 it was established that Diego was the most attached to Grace - his mother figure - highlighting the importance of the parental figure in his life. both of them have a strong sense of detachment and independence / not needing anyone else, while actually longing to be part of something, to have a family unit. so with the two of them now being married and having a child together, especially given what Ritu said in an article - that "they are not really communicating and are snapping at each other" - it sets up the perfect arc for them to find their place, together, and forging the family dynamic they both so clearly want.
I could talk more about them (i.e, Diego having multiple instances that make reference to his desire to prove himself to his father, vs Lila collapsing post s2 because she just wanted to know if The Handler - if her mother - ever really loved her), but that's not the point of this post
so working backwards from who i think is least likely (and why, obviously):
Viktor:
- originally i had a big question mark over Viktor, bc ive always kind of struggled to pick up the threads of his arc, but even then i still don't think that death/sacrifice would be narratively satisfying for him? is it possible that he sacrifices himself to save his family? i mean… i guess? he's always been more passive and less confrontational than the others, so even if the opportunity presented itself i feel like someone else would probably beat him to the punch
- BUT, that's still not actually the reason i think it won't be him - it's because i think a more satisfying ending for him would be for him to have everything he was denied in childhood. with him coming out, they've set themselves up really nicely to push an ending for Viktor that has him finding himself, understanding himself, and finally being happy with himself. whether he ends up keeping and accepting his powers or not makes no odds as long as HE makes that choice for himself! let him be surrounded by family/people who love him for who he is, let him choose to live for himself and be happy!
Allison:
- i have a similar problem with Allison that i have with Viktor, in that i don't really know where her arc is going, at least as far as the Hargreeves are concerned. Allison's been pretty clear that her priority is her daughter, getting back to her daughter, protecting her daughter. and now she has her back. and she even has Ray back!
- i've never reeeeally been a fan of redemption through death (though there are exceptions), so the thought of her being the one to die/sacrifice herself to save the rest of the Hargreeves just… doesn't sit right with me. particularly because i'm also fairly sure i read somewhere that Emmy said that Allison is kind of "done" with the Umbrella Academy family stuff, and that she's all about being a mother again, which brings me to my next point;
- Allison dying would actually have more of an emotional impact on Claire and Ray than it would to any of the Umbrellas. and, as nice as Ray is and I'm sure Claire will be, they are not the major characters in this show. they are not the ones we have spent three seasons connecting and sympathizing with. would her death still have impact? of course! but i think that there's too much to resolve (such as the events of s3, the fact that she already feels done with them all) to make her death be tragic and satisfying, and to still wrap up everyone else's arcs and the story as a whole
- her finding a way to accept and love her Umbrella family instead of constantly trying to distance herself from them, and learning to balance the family of herself, Ray, and Claire, with her family within the Umbrellas feels like it would be more satisfying for her than sacrificing herself to save the Umbrellas / the world
- could she still end up sacrificing herself to save Ray/Claire, and that in turn leads to someone else dying? yes, absolutely! or something happens to Claire and she no longers cares about living because she can't lose her daughter again? also yes, but that feels a bit... too dark, even for tua
Klaus:
- i feel a little controversial, putting him so far down the list (he's still placed fourth out of eight, though), but the thing is - with his powers back, he is functionally immortal. at that point, the only way he's dying is if he chooses to die. which could still lead to a satisfying end!! the boy who was scared of the ghosts he saw, who became scared of dying, becoming the man who chooses to die? very tasty potential, there. contrasts very nicely with the fact that he kept bringing himself back to life without even realising
- buuuut, that would conflict with what we've heard so far about Klaus's storyline this season; Klaus becoming a scared-of-everything germaphobe, having to learn "how not to be scared of life", falling back into addiction, and learning new aspects of his powers. i don't really see how all of that would lean into a storyline of him accepting death, ya know? it's a lot to do, with not a lot of time to do it well
- i will say, though, that i do love the idea of him somehow finding Dave in the afterlife, and that being part of helping him to accept death - that he can be reunited with the love of his life (this falls apart, however, when you realise that Dave's actor isn't currently credited for any episodes on imdb. still doesn't mean that he won't be, but... makes it less likely)
Luther:
- i genuinely debated with myself about who gets third slot between Luther and Five, but ultimately decided on Luther (which i'll further explain during Five's section)
- Luther literally has no purpose outside of the Umbrella Academy. in s1, he was defined by his being the only 'true' remaining member of the Academy, and having been sent to the moon for a seemingly pointless mission (and even though we now know that he was sent there to protect Abigail - she's alive now, so that doesn't really need revisting). s2 also had him at a loose end - he was fighting simply because that's all he thought he was good at, he tried to give his relationship with Allison another go once he realised she was alive, only for it to turn out that she's married, and then he was a (frankly, terrible) spotter for Five during the paradox psychosis fiasco. s3 literally had him get kidnapped by the Sparrows without anyone really noticing, and although he did eventual fall in love and gett married to Sloane, she vanished with the resetting of the universe. Sloane, incidentally, also doesn't have her actor listed on imdb as returning for s4
- he doesn't really have a multi-season arc to finish off; in fact, the only consistent facet of his personality is his desire to protect his family and 'do the right thing', whatever that might be
- i feel like for him, a good arc to send him on would be him becoming comfortable in his gorilla-body and maturing into the confident leader that would be expected of a "Number One". but, given the way his character has evolved (or devolved) through the series so far, i don't really see them doing that
- in fact, i think it's much more likely that they kill him simply because they don't know what else to do with him. which, ya know, kind of sucks
- HOWEVER, i do think there is good potential in having the first major leader-like decision that Luther makes - free from the influence of others - being to sacrifice himself to save his family. the one time he stands up and says "no, i've made my decision, and it's time for you all to respect that" while also tying it back to his overwhelming desire to love and protect his family? oh yeah, that'd be some good shit right there
Five:
- my god please just let the old man rest
- so, i think Five is less likely to flat out die than Luther is, but i do think some kind of timeline fuckery is much more likely where Five is concerned
- considering what Adian has already said about Five's arc this season
- "He doesn’t know what his place is in the universe. When he goes on this emotional arc with Lila, for the first time, he feels there is a reason for living." - i honestly think killing him would be an incredibly shitty thing to do. having him finally, finally, find his place in the universe, after getting stuck in the apocalypse at THIRTEEN, where he finds his entire family dead, proceeds to then spend 40 years alone, trying to get back to his family, before being picked up by the Temps, turned into a killer, finally getting back to his family, only to end up stuck back in his teenage body AND having to deal with three weeks of constant apocalypses, to then kill him???? jesus christ that would SUCK. like, i'm aware i have bias because Five is one of my favourites and i think his arc has some insane narrative potential, but i cannot be the only one thinking that if they kill him after all of that it's just going to leave a bitter taste?
- THAT SAID!! that said, i do think that it's likely that he would be the one that ends up getting erased from various timelines in order to save his family
- his whole thing has been about getting back to his family to save them from the apocalypse - to have him find his ultimate purpose being to do exactly that? it makes sense!
- in erasing himself from this timeline in order to save it, his purpose also then becomes founding the Temps Commission, with the intention of preserving the new main timeline that he literally 'died' to create and protect (and considering that they technically exist outside of the timeline, who is to say this isn't all part of Commission Founder Five's master plan anyway? hell, given that the Commission resides in the year 1955, he can go play guitar with Marty McFly and bitch about the perils of time travel while he's there)
- it would also solve the awkward elephant in the room; the fact that as of s4 he looks 18 but is actually in his 60s. he can erase himself from the main timeline, putting himself back into his old man body, and retire in peace knowing he's successfully saved his family and given them a future by also saving the world
- it's so deliciously tragic
Ben:
- oh god okay here we go
- i adore Ben and don't really want him to die, but i'd be lying if i said that his death wouldn't be incredibly satisfying, in the way only a true tragedy can be
- we all know this season is going to be focused on him and how he is going to be the one to cause the apocalypse this time, so it ending with him would make sense
- Blackman (the showrunner) has also said that he "wanted to come full circle with the family relationship". what is the FIRST thing we know about Ben? he's dead
- for the first two seasons, he haunts the narrative in a literal sense by being a ghost that only Klaus can see and so still sort of interacting with things, but considering we don't yet know what the Jennifer Incident is and how it actually affected the Umbrellas moving forwards, it could turn out that he has also been actually haunting the narrative - he's dead but so much has been driven by the nature of his death
- i also just really love the idea that the first thing we learn about Ben is that he's dead, and that also ends up being the last thing we learn about him
- taking it a step further, given that the Ben in the recap was definitely Sparrow Ben, it would be disgustingly, delightfully tragic for the final fate of Sparrow Ben to be the same as that of Umbrella Ben - that nothing any of them did actually mattered, because in the end, Ben was always going to die (can you tell i like a good tragedy)
- also, going far too deep into it (to the point that this isn't so much evidence that Ben is the most likely to die, but just a nice little tie in), parts of Ben's arc very much tie into the narrative of The Black Parade. you know, the MCR album that the song they used in the official trailer came from. The Black Parade, as an album, opens with a funeral song (just like the show opened with a funeral) and then continues to go over The Patient's life after death, the experiences from the afterlife, and even reflecting back on his life. quite fitting for Ben, in a way
- ANYWAY! Sparrow Ben also spent a good chunk of his time in s3 desperately wanting to be part of the Umbrellas, but having no idea how to go about it. the thought of him sharing the fate of Umbrella Ben and therefore becoming just like him, becoming Umbrella Ben? poetic
- there is also my sort-of half-theory, that the reason Ben is being overloaded with the Marigold is that he's actually somehow channeling both versions of Ben, so has twice the amount he should have, thereby destabilising him in some way, and one of the Bens needs to die. but, that doesn't really tie into Jennifer in any way, because that wouldn't have happened in the original/main timeline
- Ben is also the only character to have actually existed as multiple versions of himself in the two timelines - again, it is a perfect tragedy for him to die in both of them. maybe this time they save him from the Jennifer Incident, only for him to choose to sacrifice himself to save them all. ergo, it didn't matter, it didn't matter, he was always going to die
- i really like a well executed tragedy, okay? i also feel like it's one of the few satisfying ways to successfully kill off a character. still hurts like a bitch, but at least it was worth something
~
okay well, this got sufficiently away from me! kudos to you if you read the whole way through, and i do not blame you in the slightest if you skipped through lmao i also probably missed a few things, and maybe got a few things wrong so uh, whoops on that
tl;dr: probably won't die: Diego, Lila unlikely to die, but possible: Allison, Viktor wouldn't surprise me if they died: Klaus, Luther probably won't die, but might end up erased from the main timeline: Five most likely to die (and would be beautifully tragic): Ben
again again - purely my opinion!! and also what i'd like to see, based on what i personally feel can make a good narrative!
good luck for the 8th brellies <3
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thefoolsystem · 11 days
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Hiya! Small question, as long as Host (or any of the headmates) are comfortable with answering.
“overall anti-endo for safety (I have some pro endo, neutral, and anti endo alters, but due to the fact that endo content is extremely triggering for some alters, I do not allow it to show up in front of me)”
So… Is Host against? Or not? I understand the wording here, but I genuinely would like to know Host’s stance on endogenic systems. Again, this is only if Host (or anyone else) is comfortable with replying and clearing this up for me. Thanks! <3
Hello!!
I understand your question, however, it is very difficult for me to answer, as I have many hosts and would not be able to tell you with any certainty which one would be my main fronter.
I think the best answer I can give is this: I have been trained as a neuroscientist, have worked in neurology in a medical capacity, and have received extensive education on PTSD and neurological disorders. Due to this, I tend to lean on a more nuanced side of endogenic discourse. I am a neuroscientist rather than a psychologist, which means I specialize in concepts relating to the physical structure of the brain (such as fMRI, proteins, and chemical signaling that are altered by disorders).
By this I mean: there is an abundance of literature cementing the idea that DID/OSDD is borne of trauma, as well as literature exploring the physical phenomena (like brain activation in fMRI) behind DID/OSDD. In addition, there is some literature documenting physical differences in DID/OSDD systems and malingering systems (aka, we can see physically if a system has the disorder or not regardless of symptomology). However, there is less information about the existence of systems outside of DID/OSDD (for example, I look to the meditative practice of Tibetan Buddhist tulpamancy); to that end, DID/OSDD itself as a diagnosis may be reshaped or abolished when new information comes to light.
Therefore, I (as one of the hosts) would rather that DID/OSDD spaces online stay exclusive and informational to traumagenic systems, as there are unique challenges this disorder creates within us that we often need to ameliorate with community resources. I understand the anger that many anti-endo systems hold towards those who attempt to mimic the disorder, as many within me hold the same anger.
However, regardless of the opinions of my other headmates, I try not to confirm nor deny the existence of systems outside of DID/OSDD. It is simply not something that exists within the scientific literature I have cemented my education upon. My "endos DNI" tag is there for the safety of DID/OSDD systems who see my content, and because I wish for my experiences as a system to be categorized in this manner.
If I have offended anyone with this post, I apologize. I welcome any comments within this post, but I do not wish to become a syscourse blog or to involve myself in discourse.
TL;DR: there is proof that DID/OSDD can only exist with trauma, however, there is little evidence either way that non-DID/OSDD systems exist. I am not a psychologist, but a neuroscientist. Brain stuff is complicated, and it may be many decades before we truly get answers.
If you are an endogenic system who is looking at my content, I hope it proves helpful to you, however, please respect my wishes that I want for my experiences to be reblogged only on the OSDD/DID side of Tumblr. Besides that, you are free to quietly appreciate my work (likes are fine). If you are a system that does not identify as endogenic, yet does not quite fit the DID/OSDD category, feel free to interact.
<3
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tea-earl-grey · 10 months
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Voyager character dnd classes
see the other series here!
Janeway: paladin. literally no question she literally made an oath to get her crew home, she is a prototypical paladin. i started this series of posts because i realized how much of a paladin Janeway is.
Chakotay: paladin. i struggled a bit with Chakotay but he is obviously someone very dedicated to truth and justice and was willing to go off on his own path to fulfill that dream of justice when he joined the Maquis and that's very paladin of him.
Tuvok: monk. i think a lot of Vulcans have big monk energy due to their intense almost monastical studies and devotion to logic and Tuvok is a prime example who is highly trained in both physical and mental discipline and sought to help others (Kes, Suder) exercise that same discipline.
Torres: sorcerer. Torres very much lacks the formal training that a usual Starfleet engineer (or wizard) would have but (in my opinion) has even more natural talent for ambitious engineering and manages to be a miracle worker not through some pact or intelligence but just through sheer force of will.
Kim: wizard. look in the show, Torres and Kim were kind of presented as opposites (the Maquis vs Starfleet) with the personality differences to match despite having a vaguely similar set of skills and capabilities. so it really makes sense that if Torres is a sorcerer, Kim would be a wizard with all the traditional by the book learning that entails.
Paris: fighter. Tom Paris is a fighter and i don't have much of an argument other than ~vibes~ and the fact that only a fighter would think he could tank the damage from going warp 10 and then start turning into a salamander.
EMH: cleric/bard multiclass. look the EMH was literally designed to be a doctor. when he was first activated that was his entire purpose and nothing else so i don't think i can really argue that he isn't a cleric. but as he started to exist for longer, he consistently wanted to be something more (specifically a singer, see Virtuoso). i need to emphasize. he's not a good bard. he doesn't provide inspiration or support to anyone. but the fact is that he needs to prove he can be something more.
Neelix: bard. do i have to explain myself? Neelix is very much a jack of all trades master of none kind of character. he dabbles in pretty much everything and 90% of his scenes exist to give support and encouragement to other characters.
Seven: warlock. even in-universe, the Borg (when they're at they're best) are portrayed as this eerie eldritch entity so i think it would make sense that in dnd mechanics, even though Seven broke away from the Borg, she maintained that pact with them in order to keep performing sorts of magical acts (like her increased strength and like. bringing people back from the dead). but she also very much has that same darkness and melancholy that a warlock has from a pact with an ambiguously evil being.
Kes: druid. no question about this one. she has an affinity for plants and vague but powerful supernatural abilities drawn from the literal energy of the universe.
please feel free to reply with your own headcanons! i'd love to read them.
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keruimi · 4 months
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Your Emphathy
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Pairings: Kageyama Tobio x reader
Warning: Little Angst, Comfort
Note: Not proofread. Wrote this while watching Gho's "King Again" amv about Kageyama Tobio. His character development made me love him more. Please inform me if he's too out of character. Hope you all enjoy it!!
_____________________________
Egocentric King... An oppressive dictator.
I am known for that reputation. Not Kageyama Tobio, who is deeply in love with volleyball.
The same words that haunted me even when I entered Karasuno Highschool. Even if I became the main setter.
The fear that I will lose this position if I don't manage to prove myself in the court.
That no one would want me to be part of their team at all because of the way I can't control my emotions over losing one point.
Those thoughts were the reason I declared myself incapable of loving someone.
Until she entered my life without any warnings.
Shizuko Y/n
The one who I unknowingly gave my heart to. The student that started to become part of my thoughts.
A nice student who first offered her help when I struggled adjusting in this place.
When I feel like I'm being eaten alive by regrets, she suddenly appears in front of me like she is pulling me away from it.
The girl I let my guard down on. Someone who entered my heart that I opened for her.
Yet even of thoughts about me loving her, the fear never left me at all.
The fear of not being better, not giving enough, not being caring enough. Things you need to give to the person you love.
So even if it was against my will, even if I didn't want her to leave. I chose to push her away.
Because I would not let her tolerate a tyrant like me.
I would not let her be in pain because of what I will do.
After all, I'm not aware of what was right and wrong from the start. I don't know how to act to the people around me.
The time I started ignoring her was still bearable. Passing the hallways as if we are strangers.
Like we never interacted with each other.
Those moments made my heart throb knowing those are the thing I chose to feel.
Before I implicate her worse than it should be.
I don't need anything or anyone, I just want to play volleyball my whole life. Play until to my heart's content.
Those were the words I tried to believe myself into.
But having no one, scared me to my very soul.
"Y/n..." I muttered her name under my breath as I put my gaze on the court.
"I badly wanted to be with you"
It was the words I told myself when my heart and mind started debating on what's for the best.
What's the less painful decision to take?
My one-sided love is kept to myself for months until it finally bursts when she decides to make her way to me.
When she decided to approach me to fix the problem between us that I made myself.
"What did I do wrong, Kageyama?"
What should I do now?
We're tired of you, you egocentric King!
I'm tired of trying to understand my feelings too. It's more complicated than what I have thought.
Did I just run away?
Running away from these feelings I never want to exist.
"Please talk to me"
"Stop!" I shouted as I gripped my hair in frustration.
I hate when these feelings enter the picture. Why won't it disappear?
"Just please disappear from my life"
"A heartless king"
I don't want to love anyone at all.
I'm scared of giving my everything and no one will be there to recevie it.
I'm scared of hurting anyone because of it, especially if it was her.
"I don't want you to leave..." I opened my thoughts to her once again as I let my hands fall in the side in defeat.
I hate fighting with myself.
It felt like the world turned quiet and the only thing I felt was her pulling my head to her shoulder making me lean down to hide the pathetic expression I'm making.
"I can't do it" I felt tears left my eyes as the silence of the night is the only thing I heard.
The fear of everyone leaving. The empty space and no one around me. I know that I won't experience the same pain I went through in middle school.
But being alone again really scared me.
"I'm madly in love with you, Y/n"
I really wanted you to stay no matter how much I push you away.
I snake my arms around her waist as she kept her mouth shut, letting me out everything I hid to myself.
"I really wanted you to stay" I whispered and I finally felt her hands on my hair as she started to gently caress it while I felt her release a shaky breath.
"I thought you would never ask"
At that moment, I knew I had someone to run to. Someone I can vent my heart on.
"The Japan volleyball team really set my standards high. I might not be able to control myself in the practice match later" I ranted as I felt her warm hands took a hold of mine as she gave it a light squeeze.
"Look at your team once again, Tobio-kun" my eyes avert to my senpai's who are casually talking at the sideline as I felt my heartbeat went faster.
It's that fear again.
"They are far different from your middle school team." I gave her a side glance who turned to look at my way, with a small smile lifting from her lips.
"You'll do better than what you are thinking right now. Because you finally found the place you belong to"
A woman who accepted my passion. Someone who didn't question my priority at all.
She let me do everything I want. Let me have the freedom to move how I want.
Someone who didn't bother changing my bad sides. Never compare herself to volleyball.
She's a woman who never asks for much, just my love.
And that somehow manages to ease my mind.
"Are you not scared if I can't give you the attention you deserve because of volleyball?"
"What attention do you think I deserve, Tobio?" My mind seemed to pause from her words before she halted on her steps in front of me.
"I love you while you're still playing volleyball. Why should I remove something you already got used to before this relationship existed?"
She turned to me before holding my cheeks on her hands being warmed by gloves.
"It's alright if you prioritize volleyball. That's where you are passionate about. That's where you find who you are" I can't help but blush from the warm gaze she is giving me.
"Volleyball created who you are. Tobio, loving you is already enough. I'm alright with being your shadow, being your supporter from the sideline" she took a hold of my hand before we started walking again.
"As long as you don't ignore the messages of reminders I'm giving you. We'll be fine. This relationship will survive." My heart warmed on her words before I rested my head on her own.
"I don't deserve you..." I whispered as I felt her squeeze my hands once again.
"I don't deserve you too" That made me stand upright and glance at her who looked ahead of us.
"You have dreams while I don't. You know what you want, while I don't. I'm the type of woman who just goes with the flow of life." She exclaimed as she wrapped her hands around my arm before looking at me.
"Tobio, without getting over our fears, we can't love without hurting the other. There will always be mistakes and shortcomings" she stated.
"It's better if we take things slow. We still have a lot of years ahead of us where we can know each other better". I felt her squeeze my arm a little that made me face her.
"Pause and take a rest. We are not in a hurry"
And I knew that time.
I opened my heart to the right one
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youhavelessproof · 3 months
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mob Dickie Jaydick AU anyone?
mob Dick is a thing we've seen in canon before and it will not leave my mind so y'all get to deal with ramblings about it. :) (Crutches and also a timeline where he never met Bruce.)
brainstormed this in the bottom Dick server, but here's me trying to summarize it.
general premise: no capes AU where once Dick escaped juvie he went and killed Zucco. (not quickly, he was 8, but he's a smart kid,) and then decided well police are useless, so I'll just help people myself. (very similar to how be became Robin, but like. more real world vigilante justice which is more morally questionable than fictional vigilantes.) Dick is a part of a mob at any given time because it makes doing what he was already going to do easier. which mob changes because he's not really part of the mob to be part of the mob and it's more a access to resources thing. Dick is allowed not wear a face mask/helmet because no records of him existing really exist. he was a circus kid that just ended up placed in juvie. he doesn't have records. Jason on the other hand is just a normal fucking dude. (probably a priest like that one timeline but I've never been religious so I wouldn't really know how to write it. but I could try.) also yes obviously Jason's life has not been easy-peasy or whatever but in comparison he is so very normal.
they meet at a bar or diner or something and Dick uses Jason to get some dudes of his back. probably an "I'll owe you, but I need you to kiss me right now." regardless, Dick had no intentions of actually getting Jason interested in him, but I mean. look at him.
their meeting should've ended at that, but Jason is involved now because he keeps wanting to see that pretty boy that definitely had knives and a gun on him but. pretty 🥺
also I just wanna clarify that Dick is not killing bad people to prove a point. he doesn't even necessarily see what he's doing as 100% right. the systems are corrupt and he knows it, but he also knows he is one man with 0 resources if he didn't get involved in crime. he can't change the systems as one man, but he can help people sleep at night. (kinda think of it like fanon Red Hood. except with less "I know I'm right." because Dick is not concerned about being right, he's concerned with helping people.)
which leads to a lot of conflict with cop Babs. because she doesn't agree at all with what Dick is doing, but also? he's so... gentle with victims. and he doesn't try and hurt Babs unless she tries to arrest him. he seems like an upstanding guy but also he has a kill count. and it is not a small number.
there's no past of present Dickbabs btw. they can be a little flirty at times, but Dick wouldn't date a cop and Babs thinks Dick is too self-righteous anyways.
Jason also has moral objections, (whether just personally or because of religion depends on the priest thing,) but he understands Dick on a deeper level than Babs. he's been at the bottom, he's had to steal to live, he knows. he just wishes that Dick didn't kill. didn't cross that line. it's not a deal breaker, but it is a point of tension.
Dick is basically talking to Jason sporadically at first. nothing much but some surface level conversations, but they're more than Dick usually has with people. Dick is thinking about trying to shut out Jason because he's just a guy and he's gonna get himself hurt. like. really hurt. Leslie encourages him to talk to Jason though because she's known Dick for forever and she says he needs the company. (Leslie does not agree with what Dick is doing btw, but she found him hurt when he was like 10 and became something a confidant for the boy. plus, Dick trusts her enough to bring victims to her when they need help.)
Dick still has Roy as a friend in this AU and they are close but also Roy has a government job that Dick isn't thrilled with and Roy is not thrilled with the murder. they are best friends, but they have a lot of... tension we'll call it. (Jason will have something of a friendship with Roy, but it is mostly formed from mutual concern about Dick.) also Donna is here, but I'm gonna say she does not live in Gotham so y'know. she also doesn't like murder, but Dick's her boy so it's... not fine, but it doesn't matter.
Dick and Jason end up in a friends with benefits situation because Jason assumes Dick would not be willing to commit to relationship considering everything around him and Dick assumes Jason would only want him for his body. they are both stupid. (/affectionate.)
possibly also a marriage of convenience at some point so that Jason can't testify against Dick. how Dick would even get caught in the first place? good question, have not gotten there.
anyway one last thing: Dick does not share his name like. at all. Donna knows it and maybe Roy too but generally it's either aliases or nicknames people call him. so when he tells Jason his name is Dick it is a big deal.
"see you around." "Dick." "huh?" "that's my name. Dick." "in that case, see you around, Dick." "see you, Jace."
anyway this AU will not leave my brain. I like role reversals when they're done in a specific way and this one just itches my brain.
also some quick little things: * I have no idea if Babs is a cop in any DC timeline, however the reason I chose this is so that she can still interact with Dick on some level. because while I don't like Dickbabs personally generally, she is an important character to Dick and I think her being to cop that's chasing him fits better than Gordon. * Roy used to be a government agent in mainline canon. I don't particularly love it for him, but I understand why they chose it and it is canon. I am not making him work for the government out of nowhere or just to fit into the narrative. there is a basis for it. * yes I do recognize that not everyone that is important to Dick has been included. I have not fleshed out every role in this AU and haven't decided what Kori, Wally, etc. will be. * as I mentioned in the post itself, priest Jason is canon to a specific timeline in the DC comics. you can like or not like it, but I am not pulling it out of my ass. (the flashpoint timeline which yes is supposed to be a bad timeline, but my point stands.) * "where's x member of the Batfamily?" I don't know. Tim is probably doing fine just living a normal life. Damian might not even exist. I will probably include Damian just because I love Dick parenting him, but like. I have no idea where the rest of the Batfamily is and this ain't about them. /lh * just because something is in a canon DC timeline does not mean I think it's in character or a good character choice, (looking at you cop Dickie), but I am saying that I think it's fair game for AUs. (like really anything is fair game for AUs, but you hopefully know what I mean.)
sorry to get a bit defensive, just thought I'd explain some of this AU upfront just to deal with some misinterpretations that might happen in one go. <3
Mob Dickie and Normal Guy Jason my beloved. maybe I will explore you in an actual fic someday.
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crissiebaby · 9 months
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Sissy's First Date: Chapter 1
DISCLAIMER: This POV story contains diaper usage, forced crossdressing, public humiliation, masturbation/diaper sex, and other ABDL themes. This story is a continuation of one of my first short stories, Sissy’s First Slumber Party (Link to DeviantArt), and while you don’t need to read that to understand this, it’s definitely worth checking out. I hope you enjoy!
Commissioned By: Anon
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12:55 PM. Perfect. My plan to arrive five minutes early had gone off without a hitch. And as far as I could tell, my date was nowhere in sight yet. Hehe…my date. Just thinking about the fact I was going to be going on my first date with my new girlfriend had me giddier than I’d ever been in my life. I hadn’t had much luck with women up to this point, so to land a bombshell like Becca was a dream come true. Though, I have to admit, as far as dream dates went, the floofy purple party dress with white lace trim and the pair of double-thick diapers weren’t something I had initially envisioned for myself.
It all started a few weeks ago when my twin sister, Abby, decided to host a slumber party for herself and all of her besties. Since we shared an apartment at college, I shamefully decided to stage a small viewing party for myself and set up cameras all over the house so I could catch every second of action from the comfort of my bedroom. Sadly, the only thing caught that night was me. Needless to say, the girls were far from happy with me, and I honestly can’t blame them. However, the last thing I expected was for them to turn me into their own, personal baby doll as punishment, dressing me up in the most humiliating get-up of my entire life and forcing me to do many blushy things.
And the strangest part was…I liked it. At first, I didn’t want to. In fact, I resisted my sister and her wicked friends at every turn. It wasn’t until my sister’s best friend and my deepest crush, Becca, stepped in to make the night of torturous embarrassment all worth it. Turns out, she had a thing for shortie sissy babies, and she was more than happy to prove that as we enjoyed a night of padded pleasure together. It was like having my eyes opened to a completely new and exciting world that I didn’t even know existed. At the end of the night, she bestowed me with the sissy name, Cherry, and declared that I would be her sissy cherry-boy forever, something I wasn’t about to complain about.
That being said, just because I was starting to embrace the sissy baby lifestyle that had been thrust upon me didn’t mean I was exactly keen to be seen in public in such an outfit, or anyone else besides Becca for that matter. I’d even gone as far as to sneak out of the apartment with my girly clothes tucked away in a bag so that Abby didn’t know. I was far from ready to tell her what her devious punishment had awoken in me.
Thankfully, it was a bright, sunny day outside, so Becca had paired a matching purple parasol to go with my dress; a parasol that gave me the chance to hide my face from passersby whenever the anxiety of being in public got to me. Becca really did think of everything. Eeeeeee! Just thinking about her again had me prancing in place. I quickly restrained myself, hoping to avoid attracting any unwanted attention.
“That was a cute, little dance you were doing, Cherry. Was that for me?” said a voice that sounded all too familiar. Unsurprisingly, my face turned bright red as Becca leaned forward and lifted my parasol before sticking her face under and smiling at me in such a way that my big, dumb heart instantly melted. She looked so beautiful in her floral sundress, topped with a sun hat to match and bright red lipstick that made her kissably plush lips stand out. She also had a large diaper bag noticeably tucked under one of her arms with the strap over her shoulder. Almost immediately, I felt the blood in my body center around my crotch, filling my body with stimulating sensations. If it weren’t for the double diapers shielding my shame, my hard-on would’ve been on full display. “You…you look…wow,” I said, unable to blink or turn my eyes away from Becca’s beauty. I was so horny and flustered and head over heels to have someone willing to dress up for me like this. I had no idea what else to say.
Becca, on the other hand, was more than happy to steer the conversation. “Hehe! Thank you, Cherry, though I must say you’re giving me some stiff competition,” she said, making me feel like a doll as she looked me up and down seductively, “You must be so excited. This is your first date ever, yeah? Don’t worry, I promise to show you the absolute bestest time. Let’s head in, my lovely, little lolita.”
Becca punctuated her sentence by pinching my cheek lightly before looping her arms around mine and ushering me toward the entrance to the county fair, which was two towns over from where we went to college. That fact unfortunately did not prevent my heart from fluttering with every step. Normally, a local fair like this was the last place I’d want to be. They were hot, full of screaming kids, and almost always smelled like manure. But today, with a parasol and dress to keep me cool and Becca at my side, I didn’t care if she wanted to take me to the surface of the sun. I’d buy some SPF 1,000,000 and rocket my ass into space in a heartbeat for her.
Unfortunately, while the dress was certainly breezy, the diapers were another story. I’d only been standing outside for ten minutes or so and I could feel my undercarriage starting to broil. Mercifully, the line for tickets to the fair was super short and we were inside in a matter of minutes. Wiping the sweat off my brow with my free hand, I spotted a drink stand near the entrance that was calling my name. Some ice-cold water would keep my internal temperature in check, as well as help with the heat that double diapers brought with them. “Hey, do you mind if I grab a water real quick?” I asked, gesturing toward the stand.
“Oh, we don’t need to waste money on overpriced waters. I packed you some juice for just such an…occasion,” said Becca, her words petering off as she clocked the dejected look on my face, along with the beads of sweat that accompanied it. The amount of pity contained within her stare made me feel weak in the knees. I wanted to tell her that I’d be okay but before I got the chance, she tugged me toward the drink stand, her nervous expression shifting to an opportunistic one, “Hello, sir. Two large waters, please.”
“Certainly!” said the man working the drink stand as he opened the refrigerator behind him and snatched two giant water bottles from the rack. Oh, how I wanted to dive across the counter and shove myself in that fridge. Of course, I would never do such a thing but the thought was there all the way up until the man was passing the twin bottles off to Becca in exchange for her credit card. It was embarrassing to let her pay for me like this but I was instructed before the date began not to even dream of bringing my wallet. Luckily, the transaction was painlessly over seconds after it started, “You ladies have yourselves a nice day.”
Nodding to the man without hesitation, Becca responded, “Same to you,” allowing him to continue believing I was, indeed, one of the “ladies.” Heck, with the way I was dressed, I might as well be. Other than the hint of masculinity in my facial features and my deep voice, I doubt anyone would be able to tell I was a guy so long as I stuck to Becca and kept my mouth shut.
As Becca and I departed from the drink stand, I reached over for one of the water bottles, only for Becca to pull away at the last second before I could wrap my fingers around the cap and bottleneck. “Ah, ah, ah! You’ll get this soon enough. Follow me, Cherry,” she said seductively, causing me to swoon as she lured me toward the nearest set of restrooms. To my surprise and slight horror, she beelined directly to the women’s side.
“W-Wait, are you sure it’s okay for me to go…in there?” I asked anxiously, planting both feet on the cement ground as I stopped in the middle of the bathroom doorway. I may have just contemplated how well my girlish appearance passed but that didn’t mean I was ready to put my new look to the ultimate test yet, “What if, you know, someone sees me?”
Snickering as she playfully rolled her eyes, Becca clearly didn’t share my concerns. “Cherry, you look like a cupcake topper and you’re as sweet as one too. And if anyone says otherwise, I’ll bop ‘em in the nose,” she said, shadowboxing a couple of times and forcing several giggles out of me both from her silly behavior and her gushy compliments.
Part of me was still on edge as I let Becca lead me into the girl’s room. I kept my eyes trained on the black and white tile floor, too afraid of what might happen if I looked anyone in the eye. Fortunately, there were several empty stalls open, allowing Becca to pull us into one of the larger ones with a baby changing area near the back of the bathroom. “You’re not gonna make me lay down on that thing, right?” I whispered, keeping my voice low to avoid detection as I pointed to the plastic, fold-down changing table.
“Huh? Oh, pfffft! Nah, as fun as that would be, I think my little sissy is just a little too big for that. Don’t worry, though, I have something much more fun planned,” said Becca, approaching me and, without warning, lifting the skirt of my dress high. I instinctually moved to stuff it back down, only for her to swat my hands away effortlessly, “Now, now, don’t be fussy. Unless you want me to raw up your bottom right here and now.” Her stern voice and vague threat of punishment were enough to awaken my little buddy again, which was desperately wiggling around in my diapers for more space to grow. 
Closing my eyes, I was too mortified to watch as she ogled my diaper. It didn’t matter that she knew I was wearing it or that she’d even been the one to pick them out for me. It was still me standing before an unbelievably attractive woman in a diaper, something I don’t think I’d ever be used to. Moreover, I braced myself for the impact I was certain was coming.
*Crinkle!*
“Eeeep!” I squeaked involuntarily as her palm pressed the exact spot where my stiffy was. I felt light-headed as she reached up and pulled the front of my diaper open. What on Earth was she doing? She wasn’t about to pleasure me in a public bathroom. After spending a night with her at my sister’s slumber party, I wasn’t sure exactly which cards were off the table with Becca. However, the next thing I felt wasn’t a warm hand wrapping itself around my cock. She had something much frostier in mind for my diaper.
*SPLASH!*
“GASP!”
All air evacuated my lungs as Becca quickly uncapped the recently purchased water and proceeded to pour its contents into my thirsty diaper. “Nothing feels better on a hot day than an ice-cold diaper. Trust me,” she said, continuing to load my diaper with the brisk beverage until the entire bottle was emptied. By the time she yanked the bottle from my diaper, the water had overtaken both the front and back of my innermost diaper, widening my stance ever so slightly.
“There you go, all nice and wet,” said Becca, lowering the skirt of my dress and leaning forward to present me with a kiss on the cheek. I raised my hand to meet the lipstick stain she left behind, practically feeling the love in her heart radiating off of it. I wasn’t sure this day could get any better. That was until she passed the second water bottle to me before lifting her dress and showing off her own pair of pristine padding, “My turn, Cherry-baby. And you better not spill a single drop.”
I gulped hard as my eyes absorbed every inch of her lude, partially nude body. I was very wrong. This day was just going to do nothing but get infinitely better and Becca was going to make sure of it.
TO BE CONTINUED…
« BACK TO SISSY'S FIRST SLUMBER PARTY (Link to DeviantArt) l NEXT »
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SubscribeStar: subscribestar.adult/crissiebaby pixivFANBOX: crissiebaby.fanbox.cc All CB Links: linktr.ee/crissiebaby
Edited by AllySmolShork
Special Thanks to Our CrissBaby Diaper Company Investors: BeelzeDerBock BlossomBitchDolly BlushyBen Exminister Gun1242 LittlePissy PrincessKittenLizzi Strawberry Sweetsamantharebecca & One Anonymous Investor
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thiefking · 4 months
Text
i need to draw/speak more of my narutos. "my narutos" meaning specifically the versions of every character that exist in my head, of course. i wanna draw hinata and gaara (besties of all time) especially. because other than the fact that they have the most fully realized design changes in my head, they are perhaps the defining aspect of My narutos, as opposed to everyone else's. their friendship to me is like "ok i'm going out...! (wearing some extremely Please Don't Look At Me outfit)" "not dressed like that you're not." "better? (she is now gothed the fuck out with an invader zim handbag)" "yas bitch slay." this is how they work. to me
i want to draw Literally Exactly That what i just described there as a meme but i do also kind of want to write or draw sometjing more substantial because i am The Hinata And Gaara Understander. as individual characters and as a pair of besties. amd i need to explain to others why it makes perfect sense because i just Know that i am one of extremely few to look at these two, of all characters, and deduce that the character arc hinata SHOULD have had is one that would be so obvious to gaara & something he would encourage. or maybe the only one, but the fandom is/was so big that it feels statistically unlikely... if we're talking CURRENT fandom i may actually be uniquely insane about this. i don't know for sure i haven't really interacted with the fandom i've been fucking around in my own skull this whole time that's how i even arrived at "hinagaara bffs" in the first place
but like... listen. hinata's thing is basically (in an inconsistent, half-baked, and never fully realized form): "i can change to improve myself and finally meet everyone else's standards and prove them wrong...!" as she is trying to emulate naruto. ... "prove them wrong", but she is not subverting anything if she meets an expectation that was explicitly set. hinata is not naruto. naruto's expectations were that he is worthless and nothing and not worth having any expectations for in the first place, and basically all of konoha thought this way. if naruto accomplishes basically anything at all he proves someone wrong, even if just a little. hinata had expectations set on her, specifically by her family, that she is not meeting. even though what hinata WANTS to do is prove them wrong, what she is fundamentally DOING is trying to please them by doing exactly what they want her to do. yes, when they think she won't even meet their lowest expectation and she does meet it, she is TECHNICALLY proving them wrong... but she isn't really achieving meaningful personal growth by doing this, is she? all she has done is meet their standards and essentially fall into their evil ghoul trap and accept EVEN MORE PRESSURE as a "reward" because now that she finally met this one single goal, they can move the goalpost. she will only ever be the failure who occasionally surprises them, she will always be lagging behind the others, and every single time she fails she gets sent back to square 1 in their eyes. meeting all their expectations or even surpassing them entirely is always going to feel hollow and fragile, because in the back of her mind, if she slips even once she has to do it all over again. she deserves better than constant paranoia
gaara (and pretty specifically gaara) can rightfully point out the problem with hinata's current mindset because hinata's hardships are way closer to GAARA'S than naruto's, to be honest. it's not lacking a family; it's having a family that doesn't feel like a family, and that family isolating one child and encouraging the others to treat them like shit so that one child never has anyone on their own level when they're at home and they are constantly forced to be aware they lack some ambiguous something that seemingly everyone else has that would make them "worthy" of being loved by their own family
hold on let me put yhe rest under a readmore this post is long as fuck
the hyuugas treat hinata like shit and call her weak, and because her parents gladly and openly call her weak and because she's supposed to be heiress to the clan, her sister and neji (the only family who were close enough in age and rank to not intimidate) were made to hate her, think she is weak, be jealous of and resent her for being heiress despite her weakness, and treat her like shit like the other hyuugas do, thus completely isolating her within her family. and rasa treated gaara like shit and had given up on him LONG before he snapped (let's be fucking real here if gaara had to learn that "love" makes emotional pain feel better at age SIX... and not to mention the entire yashamaru """plan""" was utterly and blatantly fucking NONSENSE on all levels like nice going rasa you just turned your kid almost irreversibly insane... seemingly on purpose...? i can only assume it was on purpose and you just wanted to be a spiteful bitch to the kid who killed your wife because literally what else did you think was going to happen with that but that's a rant for another time.), he tacitly encouraged temari and kankuro to not even bother with gaara and to be afraid of him like everyone else is because RASA was also OBVIOUSLY SCARED and not only that he was constantly literally trying to murder gaara so temari and kankuro also had reason to believe from a very young age that associating with him might make rasa treat THEM like that too, essentially forced gaara to straight up kill his uncle who was the ONLY family member he had who talks to him like he isn't a monster (and inexplicably decided that he should also tell gaara outright that he is not and was never loved by anyone), etc etc etc; gaara was also isolated within his own family and made to be the odd one out, over and over again. naruto knows what it's like not having a family at all, but he never experienced having family— non-metaphorical, blood relation, "entire reason you were born" family— who hates you. naruto knows how it feels to be neglected and feared by an entire village, that's how he relates to gaara. hinata was hated by her own family, the people she depended on for life itself, but she was never hated by the village at large, even if she perceives herself to be. naruto can empathize with this and put himself in her shoes, but like... gaara KNOWS, firsthand, what hinata is experiencing. that is why gaara is fairly uniquely capable of pointing out the problem Very Directly because he would see it way faster than anyone else
naruto could see it too, and he could say all the same things, but he wouldn't do it how gaara would. and i think hinata needs to hear someone speak to her, bluntly and authoritatively, and say "you deserve better than this." because normally whenever she hears someone (her own family) speak to her bluntly in an authoritative tone they're telling her she's weak and pathetic and subpar and needs to improve, and every time she is spoken to like that she believes them and marks that weakness off as something to fix. hearing incredibly matter-of-fact validation and encouragement spoken the exact same way primes her to believe that encouragement, and now her compulsive need to please people who speak to her that way is going to force her, even fleetingly, to take it seriously. especially because gaara would tell her something she is doing wrong, which will feel familiar, but he actually has HER best interests in mind. there is no benefit or advantage for him if she succeeds. he is unaffiliated, not even from konoha, he gains nothing from it. gaara doesn't tell her to try harder nor to give up and accept mediocrity. gaara tells her it's okay to give up and try something else, and sometimes it's the people around you who are the ones who need to change, not you.
gaara looks at "i will change myself to prove myself to others", and he says instead: "you need to stop caring what other people think about you and stop morphing yourself to their perception. just because YOU aren't doing that in a 'if you all want to call me a monster then fine, i'll be a monster' kind of way, like i did, that doesn't mean that isn't still an unhealthy way to think. you should figure out who YOU are and live as who YOU are, unapologetically, until they get the point that they can either accept you as you are and realize they were wrong, or they can fuck off. this is a situation where it is Not Your Fucking Problem that other people are disappointed with you especially because of how hard you've already been working to try and meet their arbitrary standards. this isn't about talent or hard work. this is about whether you even Want to be doing what everyone else wants you to do. and it is difficult and terrifying and lonely to be the only person who knows who you really are. it is hard work to figure it out and it is hard work to convince others, and at times it will feel hopeless. so i won't let you be the alone. i won't let you have to try and fail all alone, like i did. i will be your first victory, i will give you listening ears, i will be your silent dressing room mirror while you try on different hats before you figure out which one fits, i will be here and i will not judge you or decide on your behalf who you are, and i will be your family if no one else will. literally. if they cast you out you can come home to me. temari and kankuro have already accepted me as i am, i'm sure they'll accept you as you are too"
and then with time and gentle coaxing hinata decides to stop trying to be what her family wanted her to be and starts being a goth weirdgirl and pursues her interests in mycology and psychology and entomology and starts fucking THRIVING
i could go on forever. i should stop now or i never will. some of the parallels between them or the reasons that gaara would specifically want to support her in the specific ways i envision came about entirely from headcanon (coughs. even more headcanon than... the rest of this... coughs) and i FORGET that it's headcanon. for example "gaara created his good reputation in sunagakure through brute force good deeds. like people were so scared of him that they wouldn't let him CASUALLY prove that he was trying to be better, so he basically had to scare them even more just to prove that he was no longer scary. things like using his sand to hold people in place... so that he can physically put money into their hands and say 'this is yours and you will take it and use it to pay rent and buy your child that toy he wants. i do not want anytjing in return and i will be leaving you alone now.' because otherwise people would run away before he even gets the chance to be nice. literally just has to hold them still and pointedly do something nice for them and then let them go without hurting them while they tremble in misplaced terror like he;s a wildlife vet wrangling an injured seagull". this is part of why he would say "be unapologetically you and they can accept that and realize they were wrong about you to begin with, or they can fuck off". NONE OF THAT is explicitly canon... but there is so much & it makes perfect sense to me. aauuugaghh hinata my hinata my hinagaara besties my hinata. i could go on and on and on and on. goddammit I WILL GIVE HER THE CHARACTER ARC SHE NEEDS & DESERVES... GIVE HER TO ME KISHIMOTO.... WHAT IF THE FACT THAT HINATA HAS 3 PERSONALITY TRAITS IN CANON ACTUALLY MEANT SOMETHING AND WASN'T JUST BECAUSE YOU, MASASHI KISHIMOTO, SELF-ADMITTEDLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRITE WOMEN? WOULDN'T THAT BE SO MUCH LESS EMBARRASSING FOR YOU? I CAN MAKE IT REAL! I CAN MAKE IT MEANINGFUL!!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT REPRESSION!!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT WORKING HARD TO BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, AND SAYING "SCREW YOU" TO PEOPLE WHO TRY AND DECIDE WHO YOU ARE ON YOUR BEHALF, AND THE REJECTION OF THE STATUS QUO, AND EMBRACING THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU DIFFERENT AND MAKING USE WHAT UNIQUE STRENGTHS YOU HAVE INSTEAD OF TRYING TO MATCH WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING, AND HOW HUMAN LIVES ARE INHERENTLY VALUABLE EVEN IF EVERYONE AROUND YOU SAYS YOURS IS WORTH NOTHING!!! JUST LIKE WHAT NARUTO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!! I CAN EVEN SPICE IT UP A BIT AND USE MY MAGICAL WOMAN-UNDERSTANDING POWERS TO MAKE IT ABOUT HOW WOMEN ARE ACTUALLY JUST REGULAR PEOPLE WHO ARE AS VARIED AS MEN AND HOW THE SOCIETAL CONCEPTS OF WOMANHOOD AND PROPER WOMANLY BEHAVIOUR ARE RESTRICTIVE AND OPPRESSIVE, AND THE MANY WAYS THAT SOCIETY WILL FORCE TOTAL CONFORMITY AND PUNISH EVERYONE WHO STEPS OUTSIDE OF THAT FRAME (AND EVEN THOSE WHO REMAIN WITHIN)!!! I CAN MAKE IT ABOUT COMPULSORY HETEROSEXUALITY!!!! I KNOW YOU'RE AFRAID OF GIRLS MR KISHIMOTO WILL IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IF I ALSO MAKE IT ABOUT NEJI WATCHING HINATA COMPLETELY REJECT HER CAGE AND DISCOVER HERSELF AND HOW HE FEELS ABOUT IT AND MAYBE JUST COVER YOUR EARS WHEN I START TALKING ABOUT EGGS!!!!!! MR KISHIMOTOOOOOO PLEEEEEEEASE
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bunnytornado · 2 months
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Okay so imagine going to a beauty salon in hell and Vox is sitting in the waiting room flipping through a tech magazine about new TV models. He is considering changing up his look.
Beauty and the Jackelope
Vox X Reader Platonic
No TWs
Rachelle’s Beauty Emporium. While located on the outskirts of Cannibal Town, it was one of the best places to go for beauty advice. Normally, I avoided Cannibal Town just due to the fact it wasn’t the best in terms of getting grub.
Rachelle’s place though, had it’s charm. Getting my Strawberry hair cut and styled, while they did so well avoiding antlers and ears, sure made it worth going to. Even more so when they helped during those shedding months.
Hence, why I was here today. I needed the velvet shed. It was starting to peel on it’s own and it was driving me crazy. Which meant I became irritable at work. I had gotten into it more than once with Vox’s head assistant when he badgered me to get repairs done quicker on any systems that ended up down.
So, I came here to get rid of this week’s velvet. However, I hadn’t expected to see a certain demon there. What was Vox doing here of all places? “B-Boss,” I squeaked out and slowly sat beside him.
“Do I know you,” Vox said with a huff and air of annoyance. He flipped through the magazine in his hand. Wait, was that a TV model magazine?
My confusion and nosy nature perked at such a strange situation. “Yes. I work for you. As part of your IT department…I’ve been in your office to fix your TVs…a lot.”
“No. That’s a deer demon. You’re not her.” Vox stated, looking down his non-existent nose at me. “I would know. Don’t try to fool me stupid rabbit.”
I gave him a dirty look. “Sir, I’m a Jackelope. Not a rabbit. And 100% not a deer.”
“Ha! Prove it.” Vox said and shook out the magazine like it was a newspaper, settling back into the chair.
I growled and glared at him. My antler’s flared slightly, growing a hair, before I forced myself to calm down. "I don’t have to prove shit to you. I have better things to do here then remind you who I am.”
“Knew it, Rabbit. If you just wanted to get in my lap for a ride, you should have just said so instead of trying to act like you work for me. After I get my new model, you and I can go back to my place,” Vox purred and flipped a page.
I felt like I was going to puke and shook my head, my anger flaring again. My ears flashed a red, and my nose scrunched. My antlers grew to where they could be seen. I held my tongue, but my ire was already flaring. Between the itching and now his attitude, I was losing control of my temper.
Suddenly, I felt a claw poke at my three-pointed antlers. “Excuse you,” I snapped and pulled away from his claw. “Anyone tell you to fucking look with your eyes and not your claws?”
“Aww little Bambi,” Vox purred and reached out to tap them again. “I swear, all of you deer demons have the same antler growth.”
“I. Am. Not. A. Deer! Dammit, I am a fucking Jackelope,” I snarled and moved to a few seats away from him, out of reach.
“All I’m seeing is a Deer Rabbit,” Vox said and smirked. He knew what he was doing, and he knew this was his employee from the start. But some things were just too much fun to skip out on. Especially when this employee was usually calm and collected. “So, Deer, why don’t you climb in my lap, and I can continue looking at new seasonal models?”
Just as I was about to finally snap, my name was called to go get my hair and antlers taken care of. “Bunny?”
“HA! So, you are just a Deer Rabbit,” Vox laughed and grinned.
“Uh, Fuck you! I am a Jackelope! My name is Bunny,” I snapped and stomped off.
As I walked away, Vox continued to laugh and flip through his magazine. “I think a Curved Monitor might look good.”
“You’re Forehead would be too big sir,” I snap before rushing off for my appointment.
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antlerkitty · 2 months
Text
My thoughts on transid as someone in remission from Factitious Disorder (a small essay)
Seeing transabled/transrace etc. stuff is on one hand proving to me that I am mostly in remission from Factitious Disorder, but on the other hand, it makes me upset that those people are encouraged to exist like that.
Part of my FD has been wanting to get ill/be disabled (I didn’t know I was disabled at the time of having it, and started to go into remission around the time I figured out I was), and I’m pretty sure if I had the internet back then, I would’ve latched right on to radqueer stuff. A lot of radqueers seem to either have BIID, or have Factitious Disorder. Neither of which should be demonized, I don’t condone that at all (especially because I know that FD is often an early warning sign of other mental disorders, specifically cluster B personality disorders and c-PTSD)… but I do not like transids or have much empathy for them.
Alternative terms (PT: Alternative terms):
Speaking of that, they seem to be using terms for things that already exist:
“I feel like I should be a non-human” = Transspecies or therian or otherkin. I know some therian/otherkin use the term transspecies, especially those with stronger dysphoria, so I will include it.
“I feel like I should be disabled in a very specific way, primarily because of personal reasons (not attention seeking or getting money) to the point that I will intentionally make myself disabled” = This aligns with BIID much more than FD, but there can be a significant overlap.
“I feel like I should be disabled because I like the attention/am traumatized and need some semblance of love and attention that I’m not getting, to the point of pretending I’m disabled or attempting to disable myself” = Factitious Disorder is most aligned with this.
“I identify as having gone through abuse/more severe abuse than I went through” = There is a root cause for this. For the former, it may be that they were pushed to the side, or feel left out. For the latter, it may be that their existing abuse is not taken seriously enough.
Conclusion (PT: Conclusion):
Could do more but I honestly am getting tired of this and it’s definitely triggering the “dormant” FD. Side note though, the FD urges won’t necessarily go away. It’s up to you to fight them away, even if this means fighting every single day against the dissociation and impulses. If anyone with FD sees this, feel free to contact me for advice. My FD is in full remission, I am able to do things I never could do before and it feels amazing!
(Added the title, sorry if it looks wonky)
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etinceelle · 3 months
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I'm sorry that people hurt your relationship to 'RWBY'. It sucks that this fandom is so ready to go to the torches with that sort of junk.
I'm glad that 'Spark' has breathed new life into you and it's nice to see you keep drawing Gris and Fauve. :D I hope, someday, you'll feel comfortable to come back to 'RWBY' and those wounds heal in time, or at least stop stinging.
There is no need for you to justify yourself to anyone. As you know in your head, you have done nothing wrong. But you also don't owe your EXISTENCE to anyone else. What matters is that you exist, however that makes you feel best, and your existence is for you and ONLY you. You have nothing to prove or justify to others and you deserve to live for your own happiness, not to meet the unreasonable expectations of others.
I know that you are kind and gracious and loving. Even if others don't believe that, that doesn't change what you are and there are better things for you to do with your time, energy, and space than sate their unreasonable demands for proof or justification.
Maybe I'm reading your post wrong. I could be. But you just being here is enough, and the most important thing of all is that you exist. What you do with that existence is up to you, for no other purpose or reason other than what you decide.
That's really unfortunate this happened and went that way, but I'm grateful for the support and for people loving my work and appreciating my ocs as well, thank you so much.
You're right about justifications, that's something I really did a lot this year, not only online but irl as well. I get that talking is important, but you shouldn't have to justify your entiere existence to people. And that's really unfair when I don't ask other to justify themselves, because I simply don't have the right to do it, but people shouldn't have to ask me to justify myself. Honestly, the mood I have now is that I should more tell people to fuck off. :')) Not because of anger but because I have to put boundaries that I want to respected, for once really
Anyway, I'm happy you see me that way, and I think now that as you say, what's important is that I know I did nothing wrong, and my friends supported me as well because they know me and I'm glad they believed in me. It still hurts that some chose to believe nonsense but that's up to them now, I'm honestly better off people who doubt the second something like that happens.
I'm rambling now but I'm still thinking about all of this--- it's been a lot, basically march, april, may and now june are just months to process and recover of what happened with the loss of my cat, but also this because it hurted me so so so much and I just bottled it because too much was happening at the moment. And even if at the moment, the most important thing was my saying goodbye to the cat - my friend and furr baby I grew up with, it's thought to think about these events with some perspective months later. Being known in a community is something I never expected to be so pressuring, especially not for that kind of reason really...
I'll definitely come back to RWBY but I'll stick to what I should do, aka draw it when I really feel like it, when the hype is kicking, not for anyone else. For now I'm really happy with my Spark characters ♥
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peachypinkygloss · 2 years
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Idk if you are taking any requests but if you are would you do vampire jin x vampire reader ? Just lake it romantic and sweet and all thank u :>
How did you know I had vampire!jin in my wips? 🧐 I will do it sweet with a little bit of dark romance for you, lovely! Thank you for your request 💜
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My Soul
No one said loving a vampire would be easy, especially not one who is tortured by his past and his present. Your love for him is eternal, even though you cannot be with him forever... Or can you?
pairing: vampire!seokjin x fem!reader
genre: vampire au, established relationship, smut
word count: 3.8k
warnings: vampire bites 😏 (i went crazy with that, sorry not sorry), dom seokjin/sub reader, unprotected sex, oral (f), praising, possessiveness, blood kink I guess 🫢.
a.n.: omg, i couldn't stop. eventually i did, lol, but please i hope this won't get ignored. 😔
'He is half of my soul', you said to your parents. 'He knows me by heart, he knows me more than I know myself'. They tried to hold you back, but they couldn't, to be whole, you have to be with him. You fled, you ran away with all the conviction in the world.
You knew where your love was hidden. Hidden from society, hidden from humans because no one wants to understand him. No one but you. You're the only one who accept him as he is; a blood-thirsty creature from the deep darkness.
He's not dangerous, no, he's only a man damned to live forever alone. 'Why do you bother to be with me, darling? Why do you do that to yourself?', he told you one day and you responded without any hesitation, 'I love you so much, I cannot be with anyone else. Staying by your side is the best decision I have ever made in my life.'
It was the best decision and still is, but you wonder sometimes if love can last eternally. You don't want to leave him. Though, one day you'll have to. As cruel as it is, vampires are immortal. Seokjin can't die, unless you rip his heart out of his rib cage. No matter how strong you love him, he is with you until your death, and he will suffer, more than you could ever imagine.
You joined him in the large and cold mansion he occupied for a hundred years. You share a house with him, yet, you spend your days - nights - searching him through the manor. He wakes up when the night falls and sleeps when the sun rises. You try to follow his biological clock, but your human-self needs to see the natural light.
So you search, you search... Opening each door, lighting every candle, calling his name during hours. The manor is big, immense. He had a hundred years to adapt to the place, you had less than eight months.
Maybe this is what it's like to love a vampire. It's not easy, nobody told you the contrary, but you thought that perhaps he'd show you his world. It feels like he's scared to take you with him, locking himself up in his office or in the library.
After all, he drinks your blood every two days, he sinks his fangs into your flesh, he makes love to you while sipping this fluid that nourishes him out of your body. You gave up on your life, you left your family behind you to live the big love. You don't regret it, of course you don't because no one else makes you this happy without even proving to you their existence daily.
But you want him to trust you and believe in you. Believe that you don't see a monster in him, only a beautiful angel who found himself trapped in the body of a cold hearted vampire. This is not his fault, this is who he is and no matter what he has done in his past or what he will do in his future, you will stand by his side for the rest of your life.
The night has fallen, the stars in the sky are shining and the air is cold. You shiver, walking into the hall, your feet stepping on the red carpet longing the floor. You tried the library, but you didn't see Seokjin there, so you are heading to his office. He hasn't eaten in two days already and he might be hungry. You know he won't come to you, you have to find him yourself.
He's ashamed of who he is, he doesn't like to take your blood, but at the same time it procures him so much pleasure - every time he takes a bite, he regains all of his energy and power. He says he doesn't like being a vampire, that sometimes he'd rather starve himself than drink your blood.
In reality, he hates being dismissed by humans. He hates being different, hates how people are scared of him when he was one of them once upon a time. He wasn't born like this; he had a mother and a father like everyone else, yet they think he's devoid of any humanity.
You knock on the wooden door, hearing a chair being pushed against the floor and footsteps approaching. You hold your breath, preparing yourself to see him. You came early in the morning, at one o'clock approximatively, only to not miss him. He never leaves the manor, but the whole place is practically a maze in which you have to find the exit in order to spend a night with the love of your life.
The doorknob turns and the door opens, letting you see Seokjin for the first time today. He looks tired, his black hair is messy and his bangs cover his eyes. His plush lips are red, tainting towards the colour violet, missing cruelly the warmth of your skin. He has on a black dress shirt that shows a little bit of his clavicles and is tucked into his trousers. A belt accentuates his tiny waist and his shirt hugs perfectly his large shoulders.
"Hi." You greet him softly, a smile crowning your lips. He eyes you up and down and you shiver under his intense gaze. "Can I come in?" You ask, even though you could do whatever you want here, after all you share this house with him. You prefer to ask anyway because you know how much Seokjin likes to be in peace and work in silence.
You notice him clenching his jaw, maybe trying to get the pain away; his teeth must hurt since he didn't eat in two days. You wonder if the pain is amplified by your presence and your smell. He probably feels the thirst more intensively with your blood running through your veins a meter away from his fangs.
"Of course." He responds calmly, stepping aside for you to walk in the room. You pass by him, looking at the half-moon shining through the windows. His desk is right in front of them, his drawing and painting materials scattered all over it. He closes the door behind him, following you as you observe the scene in front of you.
A canvas is supported on an easel, a small table settled aside of it where a jar filled with paint brushes and a painting palette are placed on. You look at the canvas, recognizing the face of someone with feminine features. The painting is half-way through finished and you think the woman presented might be you.
"It's beautiful." You turn around toward Seokjin, seeing him shoving his hands into his pockets. His gaze is set on you, but then it shifts to the painting. He walks until he's beside you, looking at his work, analyzing each part of it to find any detail that could be interpreted as an imperfection. "Is that what is taking all of your time? Making you forget that you have to eat?" You question him.
He sighs. "Perhaps." He says, stepping to his desk and leaning down on it. You follow him with your gaze, seeing how his skin glows under the light of the moon. He looks like a prince, a prince from heaven you would affirm if you didn't know he was a vampire. "I'm not hungry."
You can't accept more lies from him. You can't stand there, facing him, when you are the witness of his own descent to hell. "You know you are, Seokjin. Don't you think I see how you ogle at my neck?" You move closer to his leaning body, his fingers gripping the sides of the desk, knuckles turning white.
A part of you wants him to take what's his, to take you and your blood, to mark you as his and only his. He needs to eat and you don't care about the stupid morals he tries to stick to. You understand his pain, you understand how he regrets what he's done, but there's a point where he must accept who he is. He might be a vampire, he still thinks like a human.
"Don't come closer." He warns you once you are a meter away from him. He closes his eyes, inhaling through his nose as he tries to keep control of himself. Your smell invading his nostrils doesn't facilitate the task, though.
"Why? Will you bite me?" You dare to say, well aware that it's what is going to happen. "Seokjin..." His name rolls on your tongue, leaving your mouth pleading and desperate. "You don't have to be afraid of who you are." You assure him, disobeying him as you step closer.
He doesn't respond, he looks at you, he listens to what you have to say. It won't be done overnight, but you'll help him, that's why he's your soulmate. If he's not complete, you're not either.
Your body reach him and he has to hold himself back from following his vampire instinct. You glare up at him and his lips tremble, his eyes are glossy, he wants to keep you away from the beast he thinks he is. You lay your palm on his cheek, the warmth of your skin contrasts with the coldness of his own.
"Because I'm not." You murmur to Seokjin, his muscles tensing up at your contact, closing the gap between you two. "I'm not afraid." You repeat. Your breasts are pressed against his chest, your hair gracing the side of your neck where he usually digs his canines in.
He leans in unconsciously, his desire stronger than his morality. Your lips brush against his, giving you goosebumps and making your heart beat faster. "You should be, darling." He whispers against you and his breath fans across your face. You missed having him this close to you, so close you can hear him breathing.
You close your eyes, feeling his plush lips softly laying down on yours. He kisses you and positions his hands on your hips, fervently rocking your two pelvis against each other. You back away, leaving Seokjin to stare at your lips. "I love you the way you are." You confess, even though that's not much of a secret.
He crashes his mouth on you again, this time rough and impatient. His way of saying 'I love you more', you suppose. This breaks your heart a little because you can't love him forever, the contrary of him. He can and he will, you know it.
His large hands run up and down your sides as your arms are secured around his shoulders. The thin material of your robe allows you to feel Seokjin's touch more distinctively, as if there is nothing between his fingers and your skin. You can feel his rings poking your flesh, leaving bruises all over your hips.
He touches you like he's discovering your body for the first time again, but he knows it like the back of his hand. Your body is his sanctuary, his most precious property, a sacred object he has to keep safe. This is ironic because when he bites you, he feels like he's ruining you.
His right hand slides up on your body, feelings the curves of your waist and breasts, and cups your jaw. He makes you look at him, his slender fingers poking your cheeks as he holds you tightly. His skin is cold, but you love it, you love having it against you. It reminds you that as long as you're alive, you'll be with him. Always with him.
"You don't know how you make me feel." He whispers and you close your eyes a second to enjoy his breath against your face. "You don't know..." You open them again and you see that his pupils are dilated. You feel like a prey under him right now and you shudder, the adrenaline running through your veins, excitement bubbling in your belly.
You gasp out of surprise when you feel your feet leaving the floor, Seokjin raising you up, your thighs around his waist. He turns you both around and lays you down on his desk. All signs of control are gone and you're totally at the mercy of the vampire.
He unties the belt of your robe, revealing your naked body to his hungry eyes. He groans when the scent of your arousal reaches his nose. He inhales your smell deeply and he turns crazy, completely forgetting any sense of rationality he has.
He kneels to be at the same level of your crotch and his head dips between your thighs. He nibbles the skin of your inner thighs, licking and sucking like it's his last meal. His large hands hold up your thighs for you, kneading the flesh as he leaves wet trails on your skin.
"Mmh-!" You whine when you feel sharp teeth brushing against you as sloppy kisses are left over your thighs. You lift your head up slightly to watch Seokjin and you moan out as you notice his fangs shining under the glow of the moon. You throw your head back against the wooden surface, his tongue now licking your clit.
He swipes his tongue from side to side, creating friction and making you wetter than you already are. Your fingers instantly find his fluffy head of hair, gripping on his black locks. He slides his pink muscles through your folds, your walls clenching around nothing as he comes back again to lap at your sensitive bud.
Your hole is quivering while Seokjin focuses on your clit, sucking on it quite relentlessly until he replaces his mouth with his index and middle fingers. You buck your hips when he begins to do circular motions on your bud, pressing on it and sending waves of heat between your legs.
You don't mind the change, but you understand why he did as he gives you open-mouthed kisses on your inner thighs. You shiver when he gently bites your flesh, not sinking his teeth in, only chewing on your skin. He prepares you for an eventual bite, teasing by poking you with his canines.
"Jin! Oh- God." You arch your back at the sudden pain going through your body, tightening your grip on Seokjin's hair. His fangs slowly enter your skin, piercing through it like a sharpened knife. The stinging pain is intoxicating - familiar at this point, giving you the pleasure that you needed.
You feel your blood being sucked up out of your veins to nourish Seokjin. His canines are severely sunk into the flesh of your inner thigh while his fingers are still working on your clitoris. The knot in your stomach tightens rapidly and he quickens the pace on your bud, sending you over the edge.
"Aah... Yes, yes..." You moan, your thighs trembling around his head, pelvis moving frantically against his hand. You squeak when you feel his fangs pulling out of you, leaving two bleeding holes on your thigh. He massages softly your clit to drive you off your high as he eyes your wound he made to you, watching the blood dripping down your meaty flesh.
He grips your thighs and pushes them back, exposing your pussy to him. He licks up your cuts, collecting the red fluid on his tongue. The metallic taste linger on his taste buds and he savours each second of it, swallowing everything til the last drop.
You know it's not enough for him even though you already feel dizzy from the lack of blood. He needs more, the veins in your thigh are not big enough for his thirst. It's not the first time he bites you there, the placement feels intimate and is perfect during sex, arousing the both of you. But since he went two days without swallowing anything, he might go in for more later.
He then stands up, hovering over your weak body. "You're delicious, love. So fucking good..." He praises before he kisses you and you can taste the remains of your own blood. You wince at the unpleasant flavour, but after all those times, you got used to it.
The stuff that was previously on the desk is now on the floor as it fell during the moment he was eating you out. Seokjin can't bother less, immersed into the luxury of having you displayed like that in front of him.
He unbuckles his belt anxiously, his eyes filled with lust as he looks down at you. He passes the leather material through the metal loop, unbuttoning and unzipping his trousers. You bite down on your lip in anticipation, wanting nothing more than his hard cock into you. You can clearly see the large bulge deforming his briefs and you salivate at the sight.
He pulls out his erection out of his underwear, lowering his bottoms down his thighs. His dick bounces up gracefully, hitting the soft silk of his dress shirt. You love how he doesn't care about undressing, so eager to feel his cock wrapped up by your tight walls. "Shit, darling. So wet for me." He states, glancing at the wetness dripping out of your hole, running down to your ass. "I'll fuck you good, I promise."
You whimper when he slides his tip through your slicks, parting them open to make an entrance for his cock. He pumps himself a couple of times, spreading your juices over his dick as you stare at it in awe. Seokjin is painfully long and a bit curvy, capable of hitting you in the right places. Each time he enters you, he does it slowly and it feels like a never-ending agony.
"Please, Jin." You quietly plead, knowing that a man like him demands to be begged. He always gives you what you want when it comes to sex.
With a hand enveloping the base of his shaft, he sinks into your wet cunt inch by inch. He hisses when he bottoms out, your pussy completely filled with his hard cock. "Fuck, you take me so well, sweetheart. So well..." He breathes out, staying still for a moment before he goes out until his tip is only in.
Your legs are hanging on his shoulders, meaning that when he'll thrust in, you'll feel him deeply inside. He wastes no time to pound into you and your boobs bounce on your chest from the hardness of his strokes. "Jin!" You scream his name, gripping the side of the desk tightly to not get pushed away by Seokjin's dick pumping into your pussy.
"That's it, yell my name like it's the only thing you know." He groans when you contract your walls around him. "Scream it because you're mine, Yn." You moan at his words, frowning your eyebrows from the burning pain you feel on the back of your thighs. His skin slaps hard against yours, leaving your own sore and irritated.
You're his, only his until your death, until your soul leaves the earth and abandons his forever. He might as well die with you when you think about it because without the other, you simply can't live. The half of your soul, the missing piece of your happiness.
"I'm yours, Jin. I'm yours." You repeat, closing your eyes to fully enjoy the pleasure he's giving you.
He repeatedly hits your sensitive spot, making you moan and cry under his body. He holds your thighs tightly against his chest, his nails sinking into your flesh. "Ah, fuck..." He curses as you clench around him again, feeling your high approaching.
He eyes your neck, seeing your jugular pulsing, inviting him to pierce it. He grits his teeth, his fangs still visible, meaning he's not satiated. You tilt your head to the side, showing him your flesh to encourage him to bite you. He leans down on you and his thirst prevails, again.
"Mph!" You scrunch your eyes shut at the intrusion of his teeth into you for a second time, the area of your neck much more sensitive than your thigh.
He drinks your blood greedily and he pounds into you faster and harder, his own orgasm threatening to arrive soon. You'll cum soon too, his cock slipping in and out of your pussy and brushing against your walls make the knot at the pit of your stomach tightens.
His Adam's apple bobs every time he takes a gulp, every time he takes blood out of your veins. "Ah, Jin! I'm cumming!" You yell, warning him. Your hole quivers and Seokjin's thrusts rip an intense orgasm out of you, your whole body shakes like a leaf.
He backs away from your neck abruptly, blood flowing in abundance since he pierced the biggest vein, the wound freshly open. "Fuck, fuck!" He places his arms on each side of your head, his pelvis hitting your sensitive clit as he sinks his cock in and out, chasing his orgasm. "A-ah, shit!" He bucks his hips against you, staying still. He shoots his cum in you, painting your walls white, his dick twitching angrily as he milks himself dry into the warmth of your pussy.
He licks your neck up while he lazily fucks his cock in you, healing your wound. You shudder under his body, your chest and forehead covered in sweat.
After your session of heated sex, you both returned to your shared bedroom. Seokjin has all of his energy back as well as his powers.
"Jin?" You call his name softly, bringing his attention on you. You're laying beside him on your belly while he is staring at the ceiling, a hand on his stomach.
"Mh?" He hums, telling you to continue.
"You could transform me." His eyes snap open, turning his head in your direction worryingly. He sits up on the bed and you follow his actions, doing the same. As he seems completely afraid, you smile. "I want you to show me your world. I want to be a part of it." You confess, shifting your body closer to him.
"You are already a part of it. You are my world, sweetheart." He tells you, his voice sounding through the silence of the night.
"Jin, I love you." You take his hand in yours, your warmth enveloping him. "More than you could ever imagine and I know you feel the exact same. But tell me, tell me you don't want to leave me." He frowns, confused, because the idea of leaving you is strange to him, totally delusional.
"I would never."
"Then prove it to me." He's about to answer you, but you cut him off before he can. "Bite me. Give me the ability to love you for eternity." You say in one breath, having memorized this whole sentence into your mind. Having imagined this scene in your head numerous times before. "Take me with you. Don't ever see me die, don't ever suffer for the loss I would be."
You feel your eyes watering, looking at Seokjin hopefully, wishing for a positive response. "Is that what you want? Are you sure?" He asks you. You chuckle, finding his question silly, but still adorable.
"Yes, I am."
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pixelephant · 5 months
Text
ok long ass paragraphs of nuance time
so i totally get why watcher has made this decision, running a creative business on youtube is difficult because algorithms are fickle and views are SO obviously geared towards just when shane and ryan specifically are in content. they can’t branch out into new ventures and cast members and ideas without taking a huge monetary risk of if people will actually watch the damn thing. so streaming gives them that opportunity because no matter the viewership, they still get that income.
but on the other hand, the lack of diversified content is exactly why im hesitant to pay money for the service. there’s just not much there outside of shane and ryan led shows. don’t get me wrong, love their stuff! but if i’m paying for a service, i’d prefer it to be something i can go to for a variety of things.
it’s a catch 22 imo, can’t diversify without the money, can’t get the money without the content they know gets them the views, and so it goes back and forth ad nauseam. personally, i can’t see myself immediately paying for it, but maybe in a few months time when they have that freedom to actually change up their roster i’d be more interested
okay shifting gears, not to be the guy that compares this to rooster teeth and dropout but im gonna be because people are picking one or the other to support their own argument and its bothering me. "rooster teeth proved this method doesn't work!" not true, they shut down because they were owned by warner brothers, a big media conglomerate that doesn’t care about restructuring something to make it work, only dollar signs (while also not exactly being well known for being the best at handling their money). i still think rt could’ve continued to exist in a different capacity if they had never sold to wb (and didn’t have so many scandals) but i guess we’ll never know.
“dropout proves that this system works!” also not true they offer VERY different kinds of content (game shows, story based stuff like d20, pure improve comedy, etc.) from what watcher is doing, they are not a one to one. also as good as they’re doing now, they’re still kind of recovering from the verge of bankruptcy, trying things out, seeing what works. the system itself is not a guarantee for success.
all this to say i get why some people hate this decision. it’s yet another subscription based service to pay for in a media landscape that is frankly too rife with them. it makes things once free now costly. it puts exciting content behind a paywall that some people genuinely cannot afford.
but the people making the exciting content need stable jobs. the company needs a consistent cash flow to be able to pay their employees and continue making cool and interesting things. they can’t rely on the fickleness of youtube views, algorithm changes, and third party sponsorships at the pace they’re going (which is also part of the problem, they grew to fast and honestly set too high a standard of content from the jump for how early into the company they are but hey let’s not go on yet another tangent).
i think the announcement as a whole could’ve been more successful if it wasn’t hyped up ahead of time and/or if it was a more gradual shift to paid shows than a ripping of the bandaid. i also think essentially saying anyone can afford it for $5/month is a bit insensitive so now people are just grasping onto that instead of discussing the reasons for the change. but saying, “a majority of your audience is broke college students this isn’t the move!” isn’t gonna help or change their decision. i’m sorry but they don’t care. companies are not your friends.
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