#like i know the droid names dont do that in the movies
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tangents-within-tangents · 6 months ago
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I have come to a horrible realization
We've nicknaming Droidbait as DB right?
And I assume we've all been reading that as "Dee Bee"
Cute, adorable, amazing, right?
But no!
Bc wouldn't it actually be karking "Dorn Besh"!??!!
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luwulandd · 6 months ago
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im only on the acolyte episode 2 but i already have some gripes:
this is minimised in the mandalorian cos a lot of people are wearing masks or a face prosthetic or aree droids but here? everyone's so... theatrical? like the way everyone speaks is like its not their usual accent and about to break into a song anytime
osha, girl, you're wanted for murder that you said you didnt do, why did you just walk into the murdered jedi's room like that, if the hot jedi didnt follow you you'd be toast bruh
"she knows how to use this, shes a jedi" that hasnt trained for 6 years. like they flipflop from her sucking ass and her being badass when the plot needs it like grrr make up your mind bruh
and they know this place enough to know "thats not the usual apothecary dude" but dont look into it some more to find out his name and little details before sending osha in? like haha yeah lets pair our mics together but other than that we believe in your skillz gurl baaaiiii
and idk how the jedis are in the movies or w/e cos i never watched them but maaaann theyre such pricks like oOoOoO iM hIgH AnD mIgHTy oOoOoOo wE dOnT UsE UNnEcEsSarY ViolEnCE hAhA lOok aT Me iM JusT bLocKinG rIgHt nOw
things im happy about:
manny
theres pocs!!
practical effects
costumes and prosthetics and props
extras doing stuff in the back making things look busy and alive
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pigeonneaux · 2 years ago
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Wanna know about Reylo ? 👀
(Spoilers ahead)
So, in the new trilogy, the main character is Rey (no last name), an feral gremlin of an orphan who lives ona desert planet and has learned about the rebellion in ancient texts and loves them. One day she meets Finn (ex stormtrooper) and bb8 (adorable nb droid) and they both say they have to bring bb8 to The Rebellion. Rey, being an adorable nerd, absolutly beams with joy and does this, with adventures along the way. There's also Poe Dameron, super cool pilots and best bud with bb8, who keeps doing heart eyes to Finn and has helped him escape. The bad guy of the story is Kylo Ren aka Quiche Lorraine aka the poser emo son of Han and Leia, who idolizes Darth Vador and wants to rebuild the Space Nazi Dictatorship (it's not subtle : theit logo is black thing in white circle on a red background).
So what kind of ship do we have, here ? Rey(white woman) with Finn (black man), about overcoming what you're born into and being your own hero. There's Finn (black man) and Poe (latino man), about being bickering best friend and saving eachother. Or, there's the white man (Kylo Ren), and you can ship him with Rey to make the Heterosexual White Couple where the woman has to redeem the man.
Please note that during the first film, Kylo tortured Rey (and Poe), and they fought a lot. And Kyle was like "uh maybe i can be saved... SIKE it was a ruse to kill my dad".
In large, the internet flocked to FinnPoe... or to Reylo. The Reylo stan were *unsufferable*, attacking people who were saying that the SpaceDictator was a bad man (one unironically said that people should be nicebeing seeing his dad die in frontof hiseyes surely traumatized him, forgetting that he *killed* him) and making up Tumblr Fake Stories about recieving free crepes by a fellow Reylo shipper, The Most Opressed Group Of All time. Dont get me wrong, there was definetly a large anti-reylo movement, because of the inherent mysoginy of the "she can can save him from himself" trope, the "shipping a woman with her abuser" and the obvious need to thirst on the single white man when John Boyega and Oscar Isaac here here, but the Reylo were sooo much more vocal.
The 2nd movie was super divisive for a lot of reasons, mostly that it didnt look like any other star wars film and subverted a lot of expectations. I wont get into,but i really liked it. There was this whole thing about a secret bad guy forming a mental bond between Rey and Kylo, and Kylo trying to manipulate her to come to the dark side and Rey thinking "Leia is nice, i will do all i can to bring her son back to her and save him". But at the end of the film she realizes he can't be saved if he doesn't *want* to be saved and she cuts the connection bc she's badass. She has empathy for him but she cares about *the million of people he opresses and kill* more. The reactionto the film were EXPLOSIVE, and the Reylo shipper kind of harassed everyone (to be fqire they werent the only one, Mary Tran, the only asian woman of the whole star wars universe, had to delete her social media in part bc he character kissed Finn and in partbc she dared to be an asianwomanin a star wars)
The the 3rd film arrived, and it was... a shit show. Jj abraams retconned all the interesting bits of the 2nd film, Mary Tran character basically disappeared, the latino man was revealed to be a drug dealer, palpatine (bad guy from trilogy 1 and 2) arrived out of NOWHERE, i cant emphasize enough how he was dead and not even metionned before that film, Rey was revealed to be a Super Special hereditary mc guffin and she can bring people back to life now, Finn says "Rey i have something to say to you!" and never says what it is, and Kylo Ren said "mh maybe palpatine is evil, i should repent and be a good guy now". So him and Rey join force in a (granted, impressively choreographed) fight scene, and he dies and she kisses him (which does not bring him back to life despite the tchekov's gun before) and the good guys whin. Jj abraams said later that they should have written a 3 movie scenario instead of making things up as they go. A lot of people theorize that the retcon and the reylo change of heart/redemption arc had come bc of the reylo stan outcry online.
So, there. A brief history of Reylo and why a lot of people (me included) think it sucks. I'm gonna be honest, the Reylo stans are a big part of it.
THANK YOU, I'VE BEEN TOLD IN DM BY TWO PEOPLE AND ALSO SORRY I'M NOT READING ALL THAT
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rebel-ezra · 4 years ago
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yes. that time again. I watched another star wars movie.
here’s my chaotic take on revenge of the sith (spoiler alert I absolutely loved this one):
YEEES the intro god I love it
“flying is for droids” I love obi-wan’s hatred for flying
OMG R4 JUST GOT BEHEADED
“WHOM THE FUCK? IS THAT A DROID? WHAT THE FUCK WHO IS THAT WHY IS HE SO FIT HE IS A DROID???”
when a jedi takes off their coat u know it’s about to get real (also jedi fashion is elite)
“OH NO FORCE CHOKE”
ANAKIN why’d you do that
LMAO THE WAY OBI-WAN HOLDS ONTO ANAKIN 
“do you have a plan b?” sdlfjslkdf sir I adore you
padmé is pregnant oh my god (why am I surprised I knew anakin would have kids)
the way general grievous walks is so fucking hilarious to me 
“MASTER ANAKIN??”
lol nvm he’s just on the council
the way obi-wan sits in his chair screams gay
I dont trust the chancellor
“anakin… so pretty…”
oh my god so many wookies
“padmé… so pretty…”
I witnessed the “hello there” “general kenobi” meme!!!!!!!
this dude has FOUR ARMS and EVERY ONE HOLDS A LIGHTSABER
I love this yipping creature (dont attack me they put [yipping] as subtitles and I dont know its actual name)
HOW DOES THE CHANCELLOR KNOW ABOUT PADMÉ??
do I still have that post about obi-wan’s limp wrist somewhere
“I pledge myself to your teachings” anakin u dumb bitch
“AAAAAA DARTH VADER”
“if they are all destroyed” sir we are NOT going to destroy every single jedi in the galaxy
oh my god they are, in fact, destroying all the jedi in the galaxy
“those are kids anakin you can’t do that”
SO IT WAS CHEWIE AFTER ALL???
“miss you, I will” :(
FIRST GALACTIC EMPIRE???
padmé where are you going and why are you all alone you are pregnant ma’am- oh nvm obi-wan snuck aboard
I have a really bad feeling about this
*super intense scene between padmé and anakin* *a sudden shot of obi-wan standing a few feet away with his hands on his hips like a disappointed dad*
“OMG FORCE CHOKE!!”
“THATS THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN !!!!!”
oh my god THEY’RE FIGHTING
“your arrogance blinds you” sir YOU the only arrogant one here 
LET HIM GO ANAKIN
nice kick obi-wan
why do they always have to fight near THE EDGE OF A CLIFF or literally anything they can fall off of
“obi-wan WHY would you jump on that?? one misstep and you’re in LAVA sir”
A LAVA WATERFALL???
did obi-wan chop off both of his legs?
“OHHHH HE DID”
HE IS ON FIRE ANAKIN IS ON FIRE
obi-wan carrying padmé :’)
the ending of the movie with the switching between padmé and anakin is SO POWERFUL
yea no this is a great one
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th3okamid3mon · 5 years ago
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Spies in disguise, weirdly wholesome (Spoilers)
This movie was so freaking weird. I thought Blue Sky Studios was so dead, the only movie I´ve seen from them was Ice Age and Robots, and Ice Age went downhill after the 3rd movie. But this??? This could be their revival.
Sinopsis: 
Lance Sterling is one of the best spies in the agency. He loves his job and does it really well but when a bad guy starts harming different people across the world using his face, Sterling has to clear up his name in any way possible with the help of a young scientist called Walter Beckett. Problem is, though, the same scientist tried a very complex experiment on him by accident which result on him turning into something everybody hates: a pigeon. 
Animation: 
I´m sure Blue Sky has made more animated movies than just Ice Age, but being completely honest I literally only knew that one. I loved that movie, I also like Robots, but the rest they´ve made aren´t as striking to me. 
As an animation studio they know what they are doing, it is really good. The details in the water and rocks, all the backgrounds? They all look awesome!
It´s no Klaus though. In comparison to other movies, this is pretty much blends with the rest of the CGI movies there exist. Ice Age and Robots had a very distinctive style, but this one? This looks like something Pixar would do (they kind of went a bit downhill, Toy Story 4 was not needed and The Incredibles 2 felt off and incomplete, animation was fine, writing meh. I hope Onward and Soul are better. Fingers crossed.) I also thought Dreamworks made it. It´s not very... original as in the style of the animation. 
The lighting was cool as hell!! The first scene in Japan WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME. It had amazing highlights and it was perfect blend in the atmosphere. The darks werent so obscure you couldnt see anything and when a certain light hit the character it was a great contrast. 
The design of the characters were really great, the background characters looked kind of the same though. It was like the main characters were anime protagonists in this case, not only because of the design but because they use more striking and hotter colors in them while the background characters had really opaque palettes. 
Story and Characters: 
So.. Disclaimer: Spy movies taken seriously is not my thing. I HATE Mission Imposible. I HATE JAMES BOND 1, 2, 3, INIFINITE WHATEVER. I hate them, they are boring and the main characters are worst than Superman (Who, by the way, I also HATE. not the animated one, just the live action one. LIKE BATMAN I HA-). That´s because they portray them as all mighty, powerful, type of card of all traits. Making them too useful and too able makes it boring and it makes you question Why do they even have a freaking team with them?
In this case you have the all mighty, hella cool and able Lance Sterling. He works alone, he is able to do everything and anything, right? Well, at least he is charismatic and such. Of course you have to add something to him so he isn´t just a cocky super human spy. What do you do? GIVE. HIM. AN. OBSTACLE. AND. MAKE. IT. HILARIOUS. Thank god this is comedy. 
It was a really weird premise for the super spy to become a pigeon. From all animals, a Pigeon? Uh... Yeah, sure? This director and writer do know how to make this shit work. And BOI was this really interesting. 
So it goes like this: Sterling goes against a bad guy who isn´t even the main bad guyTM. He does his cool fighting montage during which POOF, GLITTER! Glitter..? Da fuq? And he rolls with it because if he doesn´t he COULD DIE. (I know there´s the flashback montage for Walter at the beginning but bare with me). He gets the briefcase, which had a very dangerous and powerful machine which in spanish is called LITERALLY ASESINO (MURDERER) , LA-DI-DA-DI-DA he goes back to the agency and... The briefcase is empty and some agent comes all of the sudden and has some recording where it is shown HE stole it and killed some guys in Japan with it.
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But he escaped, relax. 
Now, previously he had fired Walter because he got into Sterling´s things and put the glitter bomb, which actually did his purpose: distract and make everyone happy. 
Walter is actually a curious character to me. He has good intentions, he just wants to make a safer world and all his inventions in comparison to the rest are to minimize damage and to protect not only the spies but also the villains. Now days we have characters who are mostly all in favor to not kill, because killing is wrong. It´s not a new thing, its a pretty old concept, but it is mostly seen in TV shows (at least from the movies I´ve seen, even if the hero doesn´t want to kill, the villain still ends up dead somehow). From all the movies I´ve seen, there were several that didn´t killed the villain but... I didn´t like them at all because the villain didnt even made sense (IM LOOKING AT YOU FROZEN 1 AND THE INCREDIBLES 2, FUCKING WASTE OF MONEY AND VILLAINS, SO HELP ME GO-) 
I dont know why Walter stick to me so much more than any other characters in other movies. His motivations were always for the greater good even as a kid. The biggest inspiration in his life was and is his mother, and I think because of her dead that motivation became even stronger. His whole personality and genuine care into his work to help others leaks in everything he does. It´s in your face, ALL THE TIME, but in a good way? It isnt at the point of being annoying, it´s weird how they manage to make such a nice character with certain points that are quirky without making him annoying. 
Ok, back to the story without spoiling much and going to the point, they both start working out how Sterling as a pigeon can do his spy work and Walter works on an antidote while also helping Sterling with the spy work. Question: Is it original? I dont know. Does it matter? No. 
Look, the concept of a character turning into something is not really original and as spy movies we all KNOW in all 9 levels of Mictlan that Spy theme movies are not original at all. Spy Kids? That was slightly more original than any other spy movie I ever seen AND I LOVED IT. The important manner here is and will always be the characters which... Well... Will Smith acted as Will Smith, or well.. I watch in spanish... wait... 
Ok, I already knew Mario Filio was the official Will Smith voice Actor... 
HOLY SHIT, EMILIO TREVIÑO IS MILES MORALES TOO?!?!? 
Where was I...? Ah, yeah. 
As a plot, it had pretty much a lot of dark themes and several heavy spots. For example: The talk between Will- I MEAN Sterling and Walter in the boat, where they talk about how to fight the villain we saw a bit more of them. We already knew the motivation for Walter, but Sterling? The cocky cock has feelings? WHO WOULD´VE KNOWN! He really doesnt want people to get killed and it gets to him, because that form limits him a lot. Walter is so stress too, they both want the best for the people and they argue but in a manner that makes it a bit heavy. Walter is still young and too dreamy, Sterling has worked in the battle field, he tells Walter  you have to fight fire with fire and doing it Walter´s way is not gonna work because bad people doesnt care about the good people. Walter replies that there are no good or bad, only people. (UM... I HAVE A BIT OF A PROBLEM WITH THAT?? But I will discuss it later.) 
There some scenes i did not expect to get emotional and it quickly returns to comedy but not as awkwardly as I would thought. It´s a fun movie, if it wants too it gets a tad heavy and if it wants to it becomes extremely dumb. It´s a weird blend, the concept is super dumb but the plot and the characters teaches you certain things like: People still get hurt even if you acted with the best intentions. Sometimes to solve a problem you need to think in another way. Kindness is a powerful weapon. And most importantly: Weird is good. 
Conclusion: 
So... It was a really fun movie. Weirdly wholesome, weirdly good! Pretty good actually, it didn´t get me much as other movies but it did stick to me. It has good animation, the characters are enjoyable and charismatic, the super good boi is Walter MY GOD, HE DESERVES THAT JOB HE GOT. Sterling is a good pal once he sees the value in Walter. That part with the egg was strange but Walter made it have sense and they both rolled with it and it was pretty cool.
Now, the messages are good. I understand people are people and such. You shouldnt kill because its wrong. I mean, the villain DID kind of had second thoughts after Walter saved him from falling after turning the droid off, which was SO COOL TO HAVE KILLIAN LOOK LIKE THAT. He didn´t had to say shit, just that look of ¨Huh... That kid did save me even after I tried to kill him...¨ Yes, give me more shown not tell. THIS MOVIE HAD A LOT OF SHOW NO TELL, THANK YOU. 
Still, bad people not always want to change. Some bad people stay bad, and sometimes we will have to fight back. We had movies like The Incredibles 2 or Steven Universe: The Movie shown what should we do and what happens to the villains. They had a backstory, they had their motives, as heartbreaking their backstories were what they did was wrong and at least one of them in those examples were punished for their wrongdoing. Steven in the movie fought back instead of getting himself hurt. 
In this movie, the villain was kind of kept a mystery, his backstory wasn´t a flashback or anything, it was told by the character but I think that was a good thing because the pain in his eyes and the anger he felt leaked from his explanation to Sterling. Even when he was explicitly a bad guy from the beginning, before even the movie started, we can see that those bad guys, in fact, are people too, and as the good people they can get hurt too because they have families, friends, pets, interests, hobbies and more. Walter does have a point, they are just people so we shouldn´t kill them. I guess the problem I have with the saying ¨There´s no good or bad, just people¨ is that the people who do bad things, people like Killian, they hurt and murder so many people and I am not fine with those kind of people. I say Eye for an eye, but then again ¨Eye for an Eye and everyone gets blind¨. 
I dont know why or how they manage to get somehow complex in movie where a person LITERALLY TURNS INTO A FEMALE PIGEON. Oh, yeah, by the way. Sterling becomes a female pigeon because Walter uses a feather of his female pet pigeon. 
I had low expectations and came out impressed and howling with laughter even after getting home. I do recommend this movie for his whole ridiculousness and for his weird but wholesome character development, bonding, different characters and final message. 
Weird is good and we need weird to make the world a better, safer place. 
-Sincerely weird, T.O.D 
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warzofstarz · 5 years ago
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star wars Thoughts at 4 am
ok so rise of skywalker happened,,, and i have mixed feelings. i didn’t hate it but i didn’t love it either (and i usually love star wars movies), so i am in desperate need of a little rant about both the good and the bad in the conclusion of the saga
DISLIKE
1. JJ ABRAMS DISREGARDING ALL OF THE DEVELOPMENT WE EXPERIENCED DURING LAST JEDI. this is what i am most upset about. you don’t have to like tlj, but you can’t pretend it never happened. it’s like he was trying to completely backtrack on everything that happened in tlj bc it was ~his~ vision for the franchise. i think that is disrespectful to not only rian, but to fans who grew attached to the development of the characters. we see finn revert back to first movie finn (lovesick puppy lowkey), rey become an invincible child of the sith, the end of the skywalker family line, complete abandonment of rose, and a total shift in the message of the trilogy. all jammed last second into the film. the next few points all have to do w this
2. the fact that in tlj it is revealed that rey is truly nobody- she’s not some all-powerful descendant or some with royal blood- and tros completely ignores this and makes her a palpatine. the whole point before was that she’s normal, but that doesn’t make her any less powerful, smart, or strong. the message from the first two movies was that you don’t have to be in these elite categories to be special and powerful, which is an important message to every single child and adult watching. it empowers us as viewers to believe that we have the capability to be great, no matter our status, birth name, ethnicity, class, or where we are from. you can find family when you have none. you have the power to change your life. when jj decide LAST SECOND to make her a palpatine, with no clues thrown into the first two movies to lead us to believe this, it feels like a joke. the rey we had come to sympathize with is suddenly an all-powerful sith, seeming stronger than even anakin and yoda, even though she had never even completed training. this reveal is not emotional and literally loses respect rather than gaining any from the audience. a cop out. i felt less emotionally attached to rey than in the previous two films bc of her sheer perfect power
3. rose being 100% sidelined even though her character was incredible in last jedi. her arc was one that i truly couldn’t wait to see finish and sadly we never got it because she was completely abandoned so it could just be a trio once more. i love her. the disrespect.
4. the sudden introduction of zorri just so that poe has someone to flirt with??? like if you wanted to prove he was heterosexual make him flirt w someone he has actual on screen history and chemistry with, like uhhhh idk? rey?????? dont get me wrong tho she is a badass and i love how she shuts poe down!! queen
5. how they throw it in there that finn is force sensitive but don’t fully explain it?? and he never even tells rey??? this is SUCH a cool concept yet it’s never even hinted at until the third movie and its not further developed as to why. likewise i wish we saw the stormtroopers before they left the first order. see what they dealt with and the abuse they endured bc it’s such an important facet of the trilogy and literally drives finns character
6. how we never touch on why poe felt it when rey was tortured?
7. i wish leia hadn’t died and she rallied support w lando
8. if they are a dyad why didn’t rey and ben fight palpatine together?? then no one would have died??
9. i’m just really sad that they chose to kill ben because even though rey takes their name, the skywalker bloodline is gone, while a palpatine lives on. the entire purpose of the first six movies is anakin bringing balance by defeating palpatine. somehow, palpatine survived this (never explained!!!!), which completely defeated the purpose of the first six films and strips anakins chosen one status and ultimate sacrifice of any true importance. in the end of tros, the palpatine bloodline lives on while the skywalker bloodline is gone, and i can’t help but to feel like that contradicts the theme of the original saga in which the skywalkers defeat palpatine and hope lives on.
10. lastly, i just don’t think george lucas would have wanted ben to die. when people kill off main characters to make the movie more emotional, he has literally said “i don’t like that and i don’t believe that” he goes on to say that he hates when main characters are killed, stating “the whole point of the film, the whole emotion that i am trying to get at the end of the film, is for you to be real uplifted, emotionally and spiritually, and feel absolutely good about life. that is the greatest thing we could ever possibly do.” so, i’m sure some of you could see why i have a little issue with killing someone who has finally recognized the error of their ways and wants to be better. yes, he has done awful things that cannot be separated from his new identity as ben, but i think that it would have been even more impactful to make him live with the crimes he has committed and still make him keep fighting his demons to join his legacy on the light side. overall, bens death left a sour taste in my mouth, and for that reason i don’t walk out feeling uplifted. i just wish i knew what george lucas is thinking right now.
LIKE
1. ben solo’s arc and han. now, before some of you pop off at me, i still think he was awful and horrible and didn’t deserve instant forgiveness, but i also think that someone who has grown up his entire life being treated like the spawn of satan by all adults who are supposed to love him would fuck him up majorly, like it would to anyone else in that situation. i think that he deserved another chance at experiencing love and happiness, and i absolutely adored the scene with him and han solo. it was honestly one of the best parts of the whole movie. thank you harrison ford. the whole “i don’t think i’m strong enough” and him tearing up to his dad CUT DEEP. AND THE “dad-“ “i know” LIKE LITERALLY MY HEART. bringing back the “i love you” “i know” so they are LITERALLY TELLING EACH OTHER THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!! i’m at peace. adam driver’s acting was absolutely phenomenal. so much respect for him. truly incredible.
2. i loved poe and rey’s bickering. lowkey thought it built some chemistry between them. and how poe seemed quite jealous that finn knew stuff about rey that he didn’t, literally asking him more than once (1nce) about it, like???? han leia vibes. tea. but also poe and finn
3. i really liked jannah SOOO much (and i usually am not one for introducing a character so late) but, like i explained in detail above, i wish they had built that backstory better and introduced her a little bit sooner with more screen time. but i loved her and finns connection and understanding of their trauma.
4. FINN AND POE BEING THE CUTEST HUMANS EVER. that’s all. i just love how they care so very much about each other like stop. cogenerals.
5. ALL THE JEDI VOICES WERE SO FREAKING COOL. CHILLS.
6. i honestly think that’s all. i don’t have anything more
7. OH WAIT HUX BEING THE SPY. i ate that shit up. yes. we stan. AND the hint that he was going along w poe’s phone call in tlj so that the resistance could escape (that’s how poe KNEW it) like YES
8. the animation of young luke and leia made my heart weep
9. that lil sketchy bitch babu and the new cone droid that talks,, mmm
10. OH THAT THE FORCE BOND LETS THEM TRANSMIT OBJECTS THRU IT LIKE THE VADER MASK SCENE WAS ICONIC
11. this is so sad that i am putting this in my “like” parts but the fact that they didn’t kill chewie and that they showed him being so torn up about leias death
12. OH AND CHEWIE GETTING HIS MEDAL THAT WAS SO HYPE
13. rey burying the skywalker lightsabers and looking into the sunset, perfectly tying back to luke doing the same 42 years ago
overall, if i don’t think too hard, i did like it and felt kind of at peace. BUT it could’ve been much better @ JJ :/ i feel like it didn’t do the saga justice as the “conclusion of the saga” bc there is still so much left unanswered. but, like i said, i did enjoy it a lot and have so much love for this world. rant over. i love u star wars. thank u for everything. <3
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scottsumrners · 5 years ago
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my general thoughts on the negative aspects of the movie, in a more organize manner:
1. palpatine’s plot makes no sense. he spends three movies telling people he needs to kill rey, only for in the last minute go “no...actually i always wanted you to come here, because then i can possess you in the exact same way that the force leech possesses kyle ron on nando scottsumrners’ rewriting of tlj, which i am sure is just a coincidence”
2. also why would all the sith be stuck trapped on palpatine’s body? like. what. being a sith lord isn’t even a genetic thing????? like. how does this make any sense? why would it be transferred to her? why not use crylo ren, when he is literally grandson of anakin skywalker?? who planned this????
3. palpatine’s hand-waving of how he survived because the dark side has many abilities some would consider unnatural is. LITERALLY. such a cop-out. it’s literally just steven moffat saying he wouldn’t explain how sherlock survived because the how didn’t matter, what mattered was the why - it’s bullshit. the how matters. especially because it makes no sense with the timeline! how did palpatine create snoke to fuck with crylo ren’s head from the womb literally just a couple of years after he was yeeet’ed down a ventilation shaft? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE
4. also the timeline makes no sense. did palpatine, who was already disfigured, really have a kid with mara jade some random woman during the empire? and then, despite the fact that he already was planning to fuck with crylo ren since birth, he waited over fifteen years to go after his own daughter/son? and then what? he was expecting 9 year old rey to kill him? and then he would possess her?
5. actually the mental image of palpatine going through puberty in a teenage girl’s body is HILARIOUS. thanks for the mental image, jj
6. also speaking of jj, this bitch really had the AUDACITY of saying they were explore more of finn’s past and then. not do anything with it? we still don’t know who finn is or where he comes from! in fact, all the movie did was dismiss finn’s heroic break free of first order control as just, like, something any of the other stormtroopers could do. even though the movie confirms finn as being force-sensitive (and never uses it)
7. speaking of which, not to toot my own horn, but finn SHOULD have been the one to wield leia’s saber, like in my rewriting
8. absolutely dreadful that han AND leia AND luke sacrificed themselves for crylo ren. and for what? he doesn’t DO anything except resurrect rey! which wasn’t even necessary to begin with! it felt like they didn’t know what to do with crylo, so he kind of just. hung around, i guess?
9. and like. i know they move through lightspeed or whatever, but the fact that crylo could be literally everywhere at any moment was absurd. like they managed to tract rey down in 1 minute and in less than 2 they were already down on the planet hunting her. they really just game of thrones season 8′ed this shit
10. speaking of which. jj gave rey the same treatment finn got in tlj: she spends 75% of the movie going on a goose chase that is rendered entirely pointless by the end of it. she is searching for the wayfinder but ends up...having it destroyed? why didnt she just go after kyle ron’s to begin with?
11. finn and poe kinda...dont...do anything? they just run around after rey, bickering the whole time. i actually liked their interaction in that aspect, and so much of it could’ve been read as romantic, or very nearly moving towards it
12. i’m sorry but zarii’s existence doesn’t make gay poe invalid at all lmfao. none of their interactions read as romantic?????? zarii’s very first scene is she straight up flirting with rey lol and then when they arrive back in the base, poe and zarii LITERALLY GIVE EACH OTHER THE GAY HEADNOD. yeah he asks to kiss her and makes faces at her, but it reads as an inside joke more than anything
13. i also high key wish zarii and jannah had more development. jannah has more so than zarii, but mostly because she is like a female counterpart to finn. thankfully there are no romantic undertones there
14. but i hate, hate, hate how they sidelined rose. she has more lines/presence than most people are saying she does. people said she only has 2 lines, but that’s not true, she has several scenes through the movie, but jj decided to strand her back in the base, and there are practically no scenes in the base this time, so she is barely there. still, she should have accepted finn’s offer and gone along. there’s no reason why she needed to stay behind
15. i’m not even gonna touch the kiss thing because it was...ooc and bad. everything about the palpatine stuff was bad. i don’t get why they just didn’t make her a clone, if they wanted her to be related to him????? it would’ve made more sense. maybe she was a clone that was “successful” (in a similar vein to x-23 being a successful clone to wolverine) but the geneticist who was working on the project saw what would happen to her and decided to smuggle her out, and then left her behind in jakku. it would explain why rey, despite being roughly 9 years old in that memory, somehow doesnt remember her own name or any other memories from before being stranded there
16. the most emotional moment of the movie was chewie crying when leia died, everything else was a....not it, scoob
17. i dont understand why rey was with bb-8 in the final scene? unless finn and poe were passionately making out back in the falcon and couldn’t be bothered to come along with her, it made no sense for POE’S DROID to be with rey. even when she was training. why wasn’t she with r2 and c3po????
18. also i dont...understand...why people think she is gonna isolate herself in tattooine??? she just went there to bury the lightsabers lmfao???? the ending with the twin suns was just a homage to the original
overall. Bad. Very Bad. Not worth the money spent tbh
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hereidinathoreauwrites · 5 years ago
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Fixing TRoS
I have thoughts about the Rise of Skywalker. So here’s my wish fulfillment re-write of the final film that fixes a few glaring problems/omissions I saw in the story.
This is all my opinion, so please keep the discourse civil!
Basic Rules for this re-write: must keep all characters and locations from original story, all deaths remain as they were in original.
First things first; two quick prop fixes:
Rey’s Staff - there is no reason for her to keep it as is for this movie. She doesn’t use it a lot and most of the time, she’s just passing it around so it survives the film until she can turn it into her new saber. So a quick fix - it now cuts in half like Dark Rey’s saber so she can more easily strap it across her back and carry it through the events of the film.
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The Dagger - again, no reason for this to be what it is. When Rey used it to “read” the Death Star wreckage, I rolled my eyes. How would one even make something like that?
So instead of a dagger that points the way, the dagger will be eliminated and the wayfinder will be split into pieces. The crew will be on the hunt for these pieces. 
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Also: It’s a holocron. Call it a f*cking holocron. I will call it a holocron.
The plot:
Keep the opening the same, Palpatine is fine as a villain and the set design of Exegol is great. Kylo finds the first holocron and flies to Exegol. After a display of Palpatine’s power, he pledges loyalty to the emperor. Palpatine demands that Rey be delivered to him for unknown reasons. The spy recon scene and lightspeed skipping scenes are also fine, they can stay as is.
Rey’s training is fine but she should not be using Luke’s saber. Instead, Leia has given her a training saber that Rey breaks during the training. She tosses it on a garbage heap and takes up another one from a long line.
When Kylo Ren reaches out to her with Vader’s mask, she sees visions of herself as a Sith standing over the bodies of everyone she loves. This begins her journey.
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More infighting should be apparent in the First Order, particularly among the leaders. They should appear to be crumbling from within, especially with regard to the Hux-Ren-Pryde dynamic. Ren is obsessed with finding Rey because he still believes they can defeat Palpatine together. Hux is discontent with Pryde’s newfound authority in the order and the two spar during the meeting. After hearing about the Final Order and discovering the existence of another holocron, the gang sets out, taking R2 with them, as he has an old star-map from Luke that may or may not contain the location of the holocron. As a parting gift, Leia gives Rey her old saber before she leaves saying that she’s ready for it. She also tells Rey not to be afraid of who she is.
On the desert planet Pasaana, where R2′s map indicates the holocron might be, all the events from the movie can remain (except the dagger is now half a holocron in pieces). Poe’s leadership during the speeder chase lands them in the sand, shaking his confidence. Everyone thinks that the pieces are just junk but Rey still pockets them, something in them calling softly to her. After realizing the holocron is incomplete, the gang realizes that the other pieces of the holocron must be on another of R2′s planets. Rey still heals the snake underground and Chewie is still taken with the pieces of the holocron in tow.
Rey and Ren stand off with the ship and Rey, in a moment of desperation and fury, shoots lightning from her hands, destroying the ship.
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Distraught and believing that she killed Chewie, Rey and the others escape. Rey experiences a moment of deep unrest, since her powers have never been so destructive before.
Sometime in the escape, R2′s memory has been corrupted so they need to head to Kijimi to get the rest of the map and find the other half of the holocron. Poe claims to have contacts there who will help them.
On Kijimi, they meet Kaeden Larte, a former Rebel medical professional and her sister Miara, a former Rebel pilot. The sisters provide a safe space for them, especially after Kaeden sees Rey’s saber. While Miara and Babu Frik work on R2, Miara discusses with Poe the importance of leadership and stepping up, referencing her time as a Rebel Captain. “They win by making you think you’re alone.” Kaeden talks to Rey about the role of a Jedi and the option to step outside the Jedi way, revealing that she once knew another force-user who was outside of the Jedi. Rey is desperate to know more but Finn interrupts them, telling them that R2 is ready.
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R2 must now have his memory wiped in order to retrieve the location of the holocron. The little droid agrees, conveying his final words through Rey and the little cone-headed droid they have adopted. Before Babu shuts R2 down, we see him pass something to BB-8. R2′s memory is erased but he projects a course to the Endor system and the location of the final pieces of the holocron.
Zorii Bliss, a former smuggler turned pilot for the sisters, offers the gang an escape just as the Knights arrive. But Rey senses that Chewie is still alive and insists that they get to the ship. Zorii agrees to get them there but insists that she cannot stay to get them off. She doesn’t like combat and doesn’t want any part of the war. Finn tries to convince her but she wont have it.
The gang arrive and split up to rescue Chewie and play out the other events on the ship. The only changes here are regarding Hux and the confrontation between Rey and Ren.
Hux plays a larger role in Chewie’s rescue, actively helping them dodge patrols and escape, even prepping the Falcon and releasing Chewie before they can get there. His reasons remain as in the original film. R2 assists with security bypasses, gleefully unaware that he has done this so many times before. Poe, Finn and Chewie get on the Falcon and load up the droids.
Meanwhile, Ren tells Rey who she is during their Forcetime call between Kijimi and the ship:
Rey is a Vergence. Not a Palpatine.
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She’s a nobody who happened to have been conceived by the force, just like Anakin. Imagine the rift that would have caused between her parents? Or the pressure it would have put on a single (slave) mother? She was unwanted and abandoned, confirming Rey’s worst fear: no one truly knows who she is and there is no one to guide her. Vergences are powerful and unpredictable. After all, the last one was Darth Vader.
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Sensing her unease, Ren tells her only Palpatine can help her understand who she is. Rey and the gang barely escape as Ren realizes where she is. Battered and with Rey badly torn about her uncertain power and the pull to find answers with the emperor, they go to the Endor system, crashing to the surface. Sensing the holocron, Rey thinks she can find it in the Death Star wreckage. All the stuff with First Order defects is fine, including Finn’s discovery of other Force-sensitive beings. Here, Finn begins to recognize his own leadership potential, as the defects all turn to him for a plan when Ren arrives and Rey and Poe are both otherwise occupied. They keep Ren from approaching the wreckage but only temporarily. When Ren chases after Rey, Finn and Jannah pursue. Inside the Death Star, Rey finds all the pieces and uses the Force to reconstruct it. Just as the completed holocron touches her hand, her visions come to life. Rey’s clone overpowers her with the dark side and she feels the temptation to reach into the darkness for strength. It is only Ren’s appearance that breaks the illusion.
Rey flips out on Kylo when he crushes the holocron; fighting him with saber and lightning etc. Her power and emotions are running rampant and she nearly kills him. It’s only Leia that brings her back to the light (NOTE: I would have loved for Leia to have played a bigger role in the story, especially the ending but I’m still in awe of just how much we got considering Carrie’s passing. RIP Carrie.). Rey still stabs/heals Ben but instead of the hand thing, she says she only wanted him to chose his path, instead of the one his family lineage set him on. She takes his ship and runs. Ben still has a memory of Han but Han’s dialogue is all same from TFA scene. And instead of throwing his saber away, he rips the crystal from it and shoves the pieces into his pocket with the remains of the crushed holocron. The emperor orders Kijimi to be destroyed by a ship. In the chaos, Miara and Zorii escape, Kaeden remains behind to unjam their ship, to her sister’s horror. As the blast closes in, Kaeden closes her eyes and whispers her final words: “I’m coming, Ashoka...” (alternatively: “I’m coming, love.” but this way, Ashoka at least gets name-dropped in the movie.) Having found the holocron onboard Ren’s ship, Rey retreats to Ahch-To, crashing horribly in her distress at losing Leia. Here, she encounters Luke once more as a ghost. After recounting her powers and her pull towards the darkness for answers, Luke reminds Rey that there’s darkness in everyone and what matters is doing what is right as often as you can. And no matter how far gone you are, you can always choose to come back. He tells her about the previous Vergence: his father.
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Taking Luke’s resurrected ship, Rey leads the fleet to Exegol. 
Back at the Rebel base, the survivors are coping with Leia’s loss and the absence of Poe and Finn. Having been working behind the scenes until now, Rose steps up, re-working the comm systems until they can connect with the Falcon on Endor and deliver the news of Leia’s passing.
After an appropriate time for mourning, Rose inspires Finn and Poe to keep fighting even if the odds are against them. Poe recalls Miara’s words, agreeing to be acting general. Finn laments that Rey is gone and they dont know where to go. BB-8 pulls out a small drive that R2 gave him and Jannah says it’s a memory disc. With the cone-headed droid’s approval, they take a vital part from his head and insert the chip into R2. The droid’s memory is restored and he gleefully tells them that he is picking up a new signal.
At this point, Rose reveals that a new signal has appeared on their end as well, coming from Red 5. The fleet rallies, Poe and Finn giving orders from Endor. Jannah and the other defectors pledge to accompany them, vowing to destroy the First Order once and for all. With Rose and Commander Larma leading the deployment, the Rebellion rendezvous with the Falcon near Endor. Here, Lando and Chewie take over the Falcon (Lando fixing it in about 3 seconds), Poe’s X-Wing and the other transport having been brought to them on a larger ship. With everyone in place, they all jet off to the fight.
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While the fleet is in route, Rose finally connects up a broadcast system to the whole galaxy. All across the worlds from all the movies, we see an image of Leia Organa, making one final desperate call to the galaxy to rise up (a la “help me Obi-Wan...”). Across worlds, we see people, even that little boy from The Last Jedi, slowly standing up to fight. Across the galaxy, stormtroopers are beat back, some voluntarily throwing down their weapons. Ships begin to take off, blasting through First Order blockades and patrols, rallying to fly to Exegol. From an undisclosed location, Zurii and Miara join the fight.
Much of the battle of Exegol remains the same, with the main difference being in Rey and Ben’s arc.
Upon finding the emperor, Rey learns that he originally planned to use Vader as a vessel for himself but Vader’s defeat on Mustafar made it impossible. He then reveals that after his resurrection, he influenced the Force to create her: another Vergence, this time, one who would be perfect for him. She will become the vessel for all the Sith and rebuild the Sith society on Exegol.
Seeing her friends dying in the aerial attack, Rey embraces her potential for evil. She kills Palpatine and absorbs the entire dark side. At the same time, she already contains all the Jedi and must reconcile these two opposing forces within herself. Voices of the Jedi and the Sith collide in her head, her power spinning out of control around her. Rocks fly, lightning flashes. While this is going on, sky battle continues, with Finn, etc. attacking the command ship. Ben arrives and, in a moment of desperation against the Knights, reassembles his saber using the pieces of the holocron. When he ignites it, it blazes a brilliant white.
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Sensing Ben, Rey finds something to ground her as the powers fight within her. Through their bond, Ben steadies her because he too knows the pull; he’s been fighting it all his life. With Rey settled, having defeated the Emperor’s influence, the Guards descend on Ben and Rey. In an echo of the throne room scene from TLJ, they fight side-by-side against the guards. The ghosts of all the Jedi appear with them and guide them through the fight with their knowledge and encouragement. Both are injured critically during the battle, Rey fatally since she is already so drained from her ordeal overcoming Palpatine. Ben knows he only has enough strength to save one of them, he chooses to save Rey. The woman who showed him all was not lost. That even he could chose to return to the light.
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With a touch, all of his life force goes into Rey. He collapses. With his dying breath, he thanks her. 
Rey closes his eyes and kisses him on the forehead before he fades into the Force. She takes his new saber and Leia’s from the temple.
After celebrating their victory, the Resistance gathers for a proper funeral for Leia, her body fading into the Force as Maz offers up a eulogy. Poe and Finn share a moment that may be simple camaraderie but may be the hint of something more. Off to the side, Rey ignites Ben’s clothes with a spark of lightning and watches somberly as they burn.
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As the last remaining Force-user, Rey names herself the Skywalker. The line between the light and dark. The Balance. In the final scene, she buries Leia’s weapon and the pieces of Luke’s alongside the general’s grave. She reveals that she has constructed her own saber: a double-bladed sword made from Ben’s blade and her staff.
She turns and we see Finn, Jannah, and the remainder of the defectors standing watching her. As one, they all bow to her, revealing training sabers on their hips.
“Padawans.” Rey says. She lifts a rock with the Force. “It’s time to begin your training.”
“Yes, Master Skywalker.”
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greeneggiwegs · 5 years ago
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I wanna put my RoS thoughts under the cut while they are still fresh (just got out of the film about an hour ago)
tbh its only been an hour but im less and less pleased with it as time goes on, i guess i know how the people who didn’t like TLJ felt now. I worry that the complaints people had made me jaded tho cause like, luke’s death and Rey’s parents being no one were bigger deals and i was really blown away by both TFA and TLJ, and i wasn’t by RoS
Maybe it’s cause I’m tired, had a hell of a time getting home, and I have an exam tomorrow so the conditions weren’t ideal.
The fanservice was really bad, people can kiss JJ’s ass all they want but in both his films he overused the OT characters. Lando popping up for no reason not once but twice? Bringing back Luke AND Han from the dead? Luke raising his x-wing from a swamp? The only good OT character that got screen time was C3PO which falls back to my “more droid interaction is good star wars” theory. Not to mention bringing back Palps in general. The ST’s reliance of fan favs was always tiring.
By the way it’s sort of BS that all the Jedi are doing their force ghost shit when qui-gon spent his entire life learning how to do it. i suppose force obi-wan could’ve taught Luke? idk it’s getting tiring, let people die
They had to have baby yoda try force healing so rey could start doing it to everyone
BTW Raylo kiss? gross and unnecessary. The romantic tension between them was gross and unnecessary overall so like, fuck all of that? It makes me want to throw out my Rey cosplay
Of course the big reveal of Rey’s parentage - why the fuck. First off I have a lot of questions about Palps, mainly how the Jedi didn’t find him as a child. but why does he have a random son (who looks like Owen Lars) who is way younger than him??? I did like the part about sith becoming stronger every time they struck one of each other down, sort of also implied a corruption that turns the killer to the dark side. This is something that my dad proposed to me years ago and I’ve always thought was cool: the premise that the punishment for killing a sith lord is that you become one yourself (ala Anakin and Dooku, also raising the stakes for Luke to kill Vader or Palps)
Bringing back Palps at the end of the trilogy is what made it most jarring. Like i think having him appear earlier would’ve worked but at this point it’s like what? even the opening crawl is like “Palpatine is out there for some reason idk”. with the background of the “First Order” the “Final Order” makes sense.
On the flip side, WHY WOULD REYS PARENTS HIDE HER ON JAKKU which was the site of the emperor’s contingency plan and thus closely tied to him? Shitty Tattooine would’ve made more sense.
Finn’s force sensitivity was neat, but again came out of nowhere in this movie. Also I think it was supposed to be the thing he wanted to talk to her about when Poe wasn’t there but why did Poe have to not be there? It’s weird.
btw rose got totally jarjar’d it was rly sad and Finn was back to his Rey obsession.
Rey taking on the Skywalker name was presumptuous, and also it means the Skywalker trilogy isn’t over because she is one so everyone wait for ep 10-13 coming in the next decade or so
also people have GOT to stop throwing lightsabers in random places
Rey’s lightsabres being yellow means something i think but I dont know what so if you have read this far please let me know.
Anyway - I feel like the main problem is the movie wrapped up an issue that wasn’t even present in the other two films. Kylo’s redemption took a back seat to destroying Palpatine. Even the resistance was focused on Palps. He just flew in out of nowhere. Again some of the concepts were quite good but the movie itself fit in to the rest of the trilogy pooly imo.
I have an overall beef with the main trio as well and how infrequently they are actually together, but I’ve had that since TFA. neat characters, not really a trio, mainly because of how they kept stacking them with the OT trio.
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dealingdreams · 5 years ago
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Okay TROS thoughts...here we go. I’m putting them all below the cut in case somehow you’ve avoided spoilers
so general thoughts...i didnt hate it nearly as much as i thought i would so thats pleasant but im gonna break it down more
things i liked:
Adam Driver.  just Adam. Fucking. Driver my dudes. This is like a backhanded compliment because JJ is so fucking lucky Adam was cast because the emotional depth of the film rested literally all on his shoulders for me. I only felt the weight if he was acting in a scene. 
I’ll admit im biased but I did adore the interaction between Finn and Poe. Their bickering amused me and the tenderness between them was wonderful...I think Oscar played Poe a bit jealous as well which i liked.
the Reylo scenes to me where beautiful. Ben never lied to her, she tried to deny it but she knew he never did. I loved that he was kinda guiding her, protecting her, loving her, and antagonizing her all at once. I loved how soft their kiss was, their smiles are literally the light of my life. Rey’s face when she healed him. Ben just staring at her as she tells him she did want to take his hand...just chef’s kiss
I loved the saber fights. Ben’s fight at the beginning was hot as fuck...and his fight as newly redeemed Ben Solo was even hotter somehow.
 I enjoyed the fight scenes between ben and rey! how often ben just let her walk away, and despite that one scene which i will mention below...i like i even tho rey was rather aggressive idk...it didnt really feel like she was trying to hurt him much either? i just think they had a lot of chances to kill each other and didnt take it...so i like that
i knew she was looking at ben in that clip i knew it...she only makes that soft face at him
I always enjoy stupid ass C3PO jokes for some dumbass reason
Han and Ben’s scene was heartbreaking and beautiful. Again tho JJ is fucking lucky to cast Adam cause recycling dialogue from TFA wouldnt have worked at all had Adam not been so fucking amazing
the save chewie hall blaster scene was fun 
i liked how fucking dramatic children ben and rey were with that damn ship lol...no im gonna force pull it...no im gonna...what dorks
while i didnt like the entire way the force bond was used i did enjoy seeing it still strong and growing
confirming canon soulmate reylo was a highlight
ben’s hair looked bomb
finn’s outfit was cool
Jannah was beautiful (please correct me if i misspell her name)
dark rey was glorious tho 
that new little droid is literally me so i adore it
that sith cave thing was really fucking cool looking 
the visuals of the film were most of the time stunning 
sooooo...now to what i didn’t like:
I think this first one is the most obvious for those who know me but...Ben’s death just feels so utterly useless to me. especially when they gave him a metaphorical death earlier in the film. i feel extremely hurt and betrayed. Disney has gone out of their way to make us sympathize with Ben Solo. They’ve revealed more and more of his past...how alone he was, the abuse he suffered from snoke and palpatine. just fuck...they just kill him...the moment he realizes he’s free and loved they end his life....literally WHAT THE FUCK. it’s a chicken shit way out of a redemption arc honestly. Not letting u just breath after his death was also so horrible. We barely got to see Rey mourn, we got a split second of it then it jumped to another scene...another second of her looking sadly at her sabor to have the moment interrupted 
tag on to above but...they didnt have him as a force ghost cause Disney is intentionally keeping where he is ambiguous so they can sell more shit which pisses me off so much
thats not how the force works
there couldnt have been that many sith could there??? cause like there can only be 2 at one time....fucking rule of 2 so how the hell were there that many
palps being like...see i actually want you to kill me...is ridiculous
rey palpatine is the most idiotic thing i have ever heard. Rey being a no one from no where was such an amazing thing. Just anyone can be strong in the force...you dont need royal blood to make you worth something....then they just retcon that??? the fuck I MEAN THE FUCK. 
Finn does nothing but worry about Rey the whole film. I know folks dont like his storyline in TLJ and while i understand that and do think it could have been written better i still adore it because Finn grew. He grew from just caring about a small group of people to caring about an idea to caring about something bigger than him. I didnt see any growth in his character in this film. His heroics were beautiful to see and I enjoyed seeing his heart but that was John’s acting more than the writing it think. 
sidelining rose was fucking disgusting 
the trio felt forced to me
the leia scenes didnt work for me honestly and they mostly just made me sad
bringing in lando now felt weird 
ive wanted force sensitive finn for a while but didnt feel right
why the fuck have finn want to tell rey something but never do...ugh i hate storytelling like that
they never explained how palps is back...he just is
rey stabbing ben felt odd to me. i loved the moment when she healed him, and i know technically her anger and darkside was coming out and she acted on instinct...nevermind that even before leia called out to him ben coudnt follow thru with the killing blow. 
....i’m sure i’ll think of more as i get angrier 
anyways over all...id be lying if moments didnt make me laugh or smile...if i didn’t feel a sense of nostalgia and enjoyment for 80% of this movie. The thing is that even with so much of it being enjoyable to me it still felt void. An action movie, with new characters, a confusing plot and very minimal emotional depth.
The emotion hinged soooo much on Adam or me. The biggest reason for that aside from that fact that Ben Solo is one of my all time favorite characters, is that the things Rey is dealing with in the film are directly related to her being a palpatine...and i HATE THAT. Like straight up wanna fling it into the sun. 
Rey never needed to be related to a force royal bloodline. She should have been allowed to remain strong because she was just strong. Kylo’s equal in every way, not because she was the granddaughter of a sith which btw you can’t inherit force powers. Retconing something so touching and unique from TLJ was just...fucking idiotic. All to please the loud but small misogynistic fandom that thought a woman couldnt be that strong on her own so she must be related to someone
The biggest thing....tho is killing Ben. it felt so unnecessary and just...i feel so betrayed. The interviews leading up to the film got my hopes up that i was worried for nothing. I always thought they’d kill him, because cinema seems to not know what to do with characters has tragic as him without just killing him in the end. we already got a redemption = death plotline in this franchise...why couldnt we get a redemption = life instead??? My friend who doesnt even like sw that much...tros was actually the 2nd sw fim she’s ever seen...thought it was unnecessary as well and agrees with me a lot about my feelings despite not having the same intense emotional attachment to him as me. She for a moment thought they’d be together at the end but nope. Its just...pointless to me now, the sacrifices han, luke, and leia made to reach Ben are for nothing. Their deaths...pointless...Ben means so fucking much to me. I’ve never felt such an intense emotional bond with a character before so im just hurting so fucking much right now.
Rey taking the name Skywalker isnt hopeful or cute its a slap in the face honestly...and it’s just weird! 
The last Skywalker died loved and held by the woman he loved and that is beautiful to me. He died happy and a hero thats a balm at least...but to not let him be the one to kill palpatine...after everything EVERYTHING he put him and his family thru was another just fuck...i wanted justice for him and he just got thrown away
Ultimately...Ben and Rey are soulmates and their force bond was severed. Palpatine didnt take that from them because he couldnt have...again not how the force works....but JJ used that bond to be a battery???? the fuck...but ultimately hes forcing Rey to live the rest of her days with a gaping wound in her soul. a wound unable to be filled and will be with her for the rest of her life...thats so fucking tragic to me. you give rey someone who is her equal, who understands her, and you take him from her and force her to be alone for the rest of her life?? and we are supposed to not see that as a tragedy? Her being fineishness at the end of the film seemed like direction from either the writing or in the moment, but just further proves he didnt bother to even understand the lore he was using. Force bonds were considered i quess legends in the current SW canon but Rian brought it back...so it’s back. and well
  "A bond between two living beings is not something easily broken. It is not a choice… it is like breaking a feeling. Like turning away from the Force. To break a bond, your feelings would have to change, or one of you would have to die—but even then, the bond wouldn't go away, it would simply… it would simply be empty, a wound."―Master Zez-Kai Ell[src]
and .... the only way to break it was to turn away from the Force, as Surik did on Malachor V. So basically it all came down to creating a wound in the Force”
sooo yeah...im pissed i’d give this movie a 1 1/2 out of 5 
thank you for those who have read my rantings! I hope at least some of this made sense
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goddamnmuses-a · 5 years ago
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Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones
Alright so I did this for Episode I which you can find here. So.. here’s my weird.. live reaction/note taking/whatever this is.. to Episode ll. 
Alright so.. Once again the opening crawl is very politicy. 
Count Dooku I think is mentioned for the first time in it and Padme becomes a Senator instead of a Queen in it.. which.. is weird. 
The Naboo ships im not sure about.. I like the design but they seem too new and clean for being a prequel. That said they are owned by royalty so i can let it slide i guess. 
“I guess i was wrong, there was no danger at all” *EXPLOSION* ffs Jeff, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut? 
Nooooooo! Not.. Cordey? Omfg that was the worst death i’ve ever seen. Terribly acted. 
Ayy it’s the Jedi avengers, no but like why is like i presume the whole or half the jedi council in this meeting? Shouldn’t they have like 1 representative? 
Yooo thats live action Barriss Offee in the back... hey girrrll ;) 
actually she’s probably supposed to be like 13 or somehting so i take that back. 
 I love just all the traffic flying by the window
YOOOO it’s my boy Jar Jar aka Darth Plagueis the Wise, don’t @ me. 
Spice mines on the moon of Naboo you say? Isn’t Spice a drug but you mine for it.. there are drug miners in Star Wars.. good stuff. 
That elevator would be terrifying. 
Obiwan just like.. LOL I fell into a nest of Gundarks.. what a character I am. .. Love him. 
Anakin like “I haven’t seen her since i was underaged master.. now i can  get my fuck on!”
ALSO ITS BEEN 10 YEARS!?
“Ani you’ll always be that little boy” *Police sirens*
Anakins a little bitch
I think Jar Jar’s ears things are much longer.. but might just be me imagining things. 
She’s not forgotten you, she said your name.. you creep. 
Heeyy look it’s your custom star wars character Zam. 
Obiwan is so sassy
Anakin is pretty creepy towards Padme. 
Those worm things are naasty
Yo tbf that was some smooth lightsabering, they were like an inch tall and right up on Padme and he didnt even hurt her accidentally. I’d have killed her there. 
Obiwan just fucking dives out the window like its nothing. Mad man. 
Zam is the worst, instead of shooting Obiwan she shoots her own damn droid. 
Damn it Anakin, he’s told you to stay away from power couplings. 
Obiwan is just gonna be like “FFS ANAKIN!” this entire movie... well.. Saga. 
I wonder how Jedi pick their robes because like some are very similar and then theres like a few that have darker leather stuff, it’s like there’s a jedi stylist or something.. Someone make that OC. 
 Amazing catch Obi. 
So Obiwan is his real name but he goes by Ben later on and then Ben Solo is named after him but shouldn’t it be Obiwan Solo? 
A changeling, she really is a custom character. 
Yoo that Twilek wasn’t stupidly thin, I’m here for Thicc Twilek. 
What species is Death Stick guy! I wanna know what he does with his life after he rethinks it
I hope it backfires and he’s like “Hey.. I could be doing so much more” and he ends up like the head of a crime family. 
She didnt even change.. so much for changeling. 
....she did when she died i take it back. 
Damn the background Jedi are ugly. 
I like how this shows that Palpatine has already begun manipulating Anakin. 
Still dont understand why Jedi see the balance being a good thing when it’s leaning heavily towards the light side right now. 
Anakin “IM READY FOR THE TRIALS!” .. you aint. You a moody bitch.
I like Padme’s dress. 
Anakin just got warned to back down because he’s being a creep. 
Omfg whats that rape face. 
Dormy or whatever her name is, better actress than Padme. 
Poncho! Cal approves. 
WOO ITS DEX!
Jawa Juice? Ew.
Wtf is the Rishi maze?
Dex suddenly went sinister at the end, why? 
Yess the librarian! She’s the best. I think she has a badass Order 66 story if im remembering correctly. 
She’s very sure about her records though.. calm down lady. 
“No droids” says the droid to the other droid. 
So i presume the head of the Jedi Council is always the one who looks after the younglings. 
Awwh the little babies and they’re all gonna get killed by Creep Vader. 
Yoda is so soft, good dad figure. Best boy. 
They elect queens on Naboo.. thats interesting. 
I love the Jedi fighter look. 
HOLD THE FUCK UP THEY DIDNT KNOW ABOUT KAMINO 
THERE WAS A FUCKING LONG NECKY ALIEN ON THE JEDI COUNCIL IN EP 1.. 
.... some bullshit. 
I should really look into Sifo Dyas
And Why are there not more Clones in Star Wars... 
Other than like.. .. spoilers for.. you know what nevermind. 
I DONT LIKE SAND! HE SAID THE THING
Anakin you creep
Why the fuck would Padme even lean in at all? He’s been nothing but a creep and she’s shown 0 interest in him at all so far. 
The Camino people are pretty chill. 
That was the first bit of actual chemistry between Padme and Anakin 
Omfg the pear, fuck off. 
Also forgot to comment but theres some clear like.. oohhhhhh moments im having with how order 66 got set up. 
Has Padme had an outfit change again?
She’s got her sexy outfit on to turn him down.. seems right. 
Her make up is a bit.. much
Sooo the force is weaker with the jedi because the light sides had it so good for so long that the force is trying to balance out and bring it back the other way, makes sense. 
It’s actually his connection to his mom that brings him towards the darkside to start.. nice. 
Padme trying to be inconspicuous is super conspicuous 
I like that the droid said okey dokey. 
YAAAAAAAAAAAAY WATTO
YAAAAY ANI SPEAKING HUTTESE
I love how Watto is happy to see Ani. 
Watto doesn’t deserve the shitty life he ended up with. 
Love some New Zealander up in my Star Wars. 
Seismic charges have such good sound design. 
Thats one hell of a missile. 
Eyyyyy it’s c3p0 it’s amazing how much i’d forgot of this. 
Tusken Raiders are dicks. They know sign language but they’re dicks. 
Even Anakin is like “These are good people”, good. They’ll raise your son. 
Is that general grevious’ voice? 
What the fuck are these aliens
Awwwh noooo she waited just to die in her sons arms. 
Tbf i’d go full darkside if someone tortured my mom. 
You know what.. this Ani is nothing like the ones from the cartoon, he seems like less of a whiney bitch in the clone wars but we’ll see.. 
Cleg Lars’ hover chair is pretty dope. 
Anakin got over hating Obi Wan real quick. 
Even captured Obiwan is a sassy boy. 
Jar Jar as badass as he is.. is basically putting the Sith Lord in charge. 
So far if you dont know that palpatine is the Sith there isnt really anything obvious telling you which is pretty interesting. 
Padme has had another outfit change, another iconic look. 
And so behind the adventures of r2 and c3po
C3PO had a costume change, he’s been watching Padme. 
The fake out they have you thinking Padme is covered in magma is pretty good
Okay then suddenly she loves him.
Also bye bye lightsaber
Genosians are pretty gross
In my head they were always the same as Toydarians for some reason
I like that bug monster, i remember killing them in one of the older battlefront games.. as maybe Aayla Sekura but maybe i made that up. 
Anakin surely got the best one to fight. He basically tames it.
The fucking peck on the cheek, was that needed? 
Droidekas are still cool as fuck. 
Suddenly Jedi. 
The Jedi that made it up to Dooku is terrible, he cant even reflect a few blaster blasts.
Well.. Jango lost his head. 
The smile on that green jedi’s face is beautiful, what a beautiful alien man. Kit Fisto.
Obiwan is an icon. 
Dooku is pretty reasonable all things considered. 
Woo clones!
“Around the survivors, a perimiter, create.” Yoda.. just speak normally damnit. 
Yoo what if Jaro Tapal shows up in the new Clone Wars cartoon season.. i’d lose my shit. 
I like Dooku’s bike. 
Anakin you dumb fuck. 
I always thought Dooku’s curved lightsaber was weird. 
Rey should have done this sick ass catching the lightning trick instead of the two lightsabers. 
Jedi flips all over the place woop. 
As obvious as it is that Palpatine is the hooded Sith, i feel like they dont show his full face because i feel like a little kid might not be able to tell. 
I kinda like how it shows a bunch of clones (the basic start of the stormtrooper) and then star destroyers and it’s like.. heres where the empire started. 
Aaaaaand they’re married? so yeah.. congrats Ani you creeped your way into being a husband. 
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riotatthemovies · 6 years ago
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Cartel 2045 aka Juarez 2045 (2017)
I trrry I reeeaalllyyy try not to bitch and complain about movies I don't like but I have to damn it!  I waited a week to rant about this cause i love saying good things about bad movies because really backyard home made movies have passion and soul... some people just have no soul. 
This movie is a prime example of many of the bigger b movies today getting released by nerds ... and I love nerds but fuck some nerds piss me off with their lack of art, sometimes they are the robots they create.  Nerds that only lived life playing video games and getting angry at their bullies so they studied bro life style. A NERD BRO is a fucking thing people. Overly serious yet you know deep down that was a bit of a joke for the director and writer and thats it. Great CGI robots for a home produced film but noooo life in any of it. It goes on and on about military ways and why or why not to have Androids in the military. Every fight was inspired by a play through in Socom or Call of duty... it just felt like really boring NERD BROS talking between game play of a first person military strategy.... fuck meeee. Even the always hilarious just to see him Danny Treijo couldn't help. The robots are the stars and deep down most of them are suped up version of the droids from Phantom Menace. The mech suit Danny gets to use is just a rip off of warhammer/gears of war designs. WATCH A MOVIE PEOPLE!!! ESPECIALLY IF YOUR MOVIE IS NEAR 2 hours long!  
We live in a world where people literally will watch a game play through for 2 hours and then pay a patreon to watch 2 hours more... FUCK ME!!!
Stomps on the dvd... game over bitch!
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I am ok that Danny takes any job as it gives new comer directors a name to put on the cover.. I am also glad he does not star in it as the main lead cause he is not an idiot.   This trend of b movies that are cosplayers dressing up in cool costumes and thinking thats enough or video game nerds that are good at home made graphics and plotting it like something they know.. and also thinking thats enough... takes out the soul. It does not even look like the movie was fun to make or be in. No laughs amongst the blah as shit action even that for sure many lines were supposed to be funny... but were they? Fuck no!
Yep for me Game over.
Sooooo if you are one of the people I bitched about.. sorry not sorry.. But maaybe that means you will actually like this movie (which is why i dont do a regular thumbs up thumbs down cause as always.. what the fuck do I know?)
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johnnymundano · 6 years ago
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Class of 1999 (1990)
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Directed by Mark L. Lester
Written by C. Courtney Joyner
Story by Mark L. Lester
Music by Michael Hoenig
Country: United States
Language: English
Running Time: 99 minutes
CAST
Bradley Gregg as Cody Culp
Traci Lind as Christie Langford
John P. Ryan as Mr. Hardin
Pam Grier as Miss Connors
Patrick Kilpatrick as Mr. Bryles
Stacy Keach as Dr. Robert "Bob" Forest
Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Miles Langford
Darren E. Burrows as Sonny
Joshua John Miller as Angel
Sharon Wyatt as Janice Culp
James Medina as Hector
Jason Oliver as Curt
Brent David Fraser as Flavio
Jill Gatsby as Dawn
Sean Hagerty as Reedy
And Rose McGowan as girl briefly glimpsed sat in a chair
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Class of 1999 is one of those movies which were once set in the future but are now set in the past, which is always funny. It must certainly have tickled director Mark L. Lester since this is his second such movie, the first being Class of 1984 (1982). The intellectuals out there will have noticed both movies are also set in schools. Judging by the content of them I think we can infer Mark L. Lester has strong emotions about his schooldays. Negative emotions. Back in 1982 in the UK Class of 1984 upset a lot of people who decided what we could watch, and so it was not passed as uncut until 2005. Unfortunately by then I was busy self-destructing and by the time I surfaced as a functional human being DVD was passé, alas. I’m waiting for the Blu-Ray now so I still haven’t seen it, basically; but I will, I will. That cinematic bad boy sure sounds a lot harder and nastier than Class of 1999, which is the kind of goofy pulp schlock that video store chains were built on. “The year is 1999 and school’s out – FOREVER!” the tag line doesn’t run (but totally should, in howling electric lime green if possible).
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Teens! Little shits! Always a problem, but particularly so in the ‘80s when feral gangs ran wild and committed heinous crimes, in fact just like they had since the teenager was invented (the 1920s) but sometimes it’s politically expedient for reactionary assholes to pretend it’s a new problem, and the ‘80s was particularly rich in reactionary assholes. So we were constantly being told that the kids weren’t alright. Movies like Class of 1984 probably helped feed the fires of hysteria and Class of 1999 seems like a kind of belated atonement for this. This time Lester seems to be mocking the ridiculous reactionary horseshit which turns troubled youth into a patsy for political and financial gain, and all the ridiculous reactionary bullshit solutions proposed which never actually address the root causes (because that would require thought, money and time) and hence do nothing to ameliorate the problem, but always end up making someone rich (usually , spookily enough, the someone sponsoring the reactionary assholes involved). You know, the kind of Twinkie® head who thinks the solution to school shootings is arming teachers. Shit, just cut straight to arming the kids as well and whoever walks out at home time wins. Televise it, monetise it, get some revenue streams going. Don’t piss about, people!
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Class of 1999 certainly doesn’t piss about. By 1999, every reactionary asshole’s wet dream has come true;  all across America youth gangs with bandannas and guns have established free fire zones, where the police fear to tread and schools have begun shutting down. Obviously the problem must be the bandannas as it can’t be the guns, because what your latte drinking, book reading, cat grooming “Leftee” never gets is that no problem in America is ever down to guns; not even when it involve guns; especially not when removing guns would remove the problem. Because of the easy access to bandannas things are in such a state that the Department of Education is now the Department of Education and Defence (DED; geddit?). This rebranding allows for some real blue-skying and results in a joint project with MegaTech to take back the schools by piloting the introduction of android teachers. Mega-Tech, like any responsible corporation that probably doesn’t pay its taxes, decides to cut corners and use three military androids gathering dust due to the early end of a recent war. Things escalate quickly, and lessons are learned about simple solutions to complex problems and the evil fruits of a society which treats its kids as monsters and where bandannas are legal.
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Miles Langford (Malcolm McDowell), the new principal at Seattle’s’ Kennedy High School, agrees to the use of his school for the initial introduction of the android educators. Langford is clearly a “progressive” (spit!) who wants the best for the kids (or “scum” to real, decent, working people) but is undone by his ambition; it’s a strangely nuanced performance in a remarkably (and deliberately) nuance free movie, but that’s the magic of Malcolm McDowell. Stacy Keach as MegaTech’s Dr Bob Forrest (Stacy Keach) doesn’t need nuance as he has decided to play his role in a white wig and white contacts, as an albino corporate asshole who remains perpetually unruffled no matter how bad things get. “The teachers are making hats out of the pupil’s internal organs.” a tech-head (probably a liberal who owns a book) might exclaim, only to have Dr Bob say “Wait, let’s see how things develop.” as he eats a banana. I’m not convinced Keach can actually see out of his white contact lenses but who gives a shit, it’s Stacy Keach! (The last time I saw Stacy Keach onscreen he was singing Elvis at a karaoke bar in Alexander Payne’s delightful Nebraska (2013). Stacy Keach, people!)
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Dr Bob’s three androids are Mr. Hardin (John P. Ryan) for History, Ms Connors (Pam Grier) for Science and Mr. Bryles (Patrick Kilpatrick) for P.E. (and probably Geography; P.E. teachers always have to do Geography as well, in my experience; P.E. not actually being a real subject). Anyone who has wasted their eyes on the quirkier side of movies will already be excited by that list. John P. Ryan, whose jaw-popping performance in Runaway Train (1985) earned him a place in Movie Valhalla, is full-on here as a history teacher who prefers strategy to strangling but will strangle if pushed. Pam Grier should need no introduction and, despite returning to the screen here after illness, she is as lively a screen presence as ever, memorably taking an axe to the chest like it’s a gnat bouncing off her. And Patrick Kilpatrick’s name might not be known to you but he has probably died at the hands of your favourite ‘80s/’90s action star, probably as revenge for being a better actor than any of them. Basically, these three ‘droids rock. As does Bradley Gregg as Cody Culp, the youthful ex-gangbanger recently released from pokey who is caught between the gangs and the teachers like a pretzel in a car crusher. Gregg acts like he’s in a serious movie and his earnest solidity helps stop the comic book ridiculousness swamping everything. Which is no mean feat in a movie where an albino Stacy Keach eats a banana.
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Obviously I was taken by the banana bit, but a lot more stuff happens in Class of 1999 than albino potassium ingestion. Unfortunately quite a lot of it involves the rival gangs who are not the most interesting part of the movie. But they do fight a lot so there is that. In fact they fight more than usual as the robo-teachers niftily set them against each other, before the kids “wise up” and take on the real enemy in a night time school siege, which swiftly descends into a slaughtertastic game of cat and mouse, or android and pupil, if you will. Despite its limitations, in 2018 Class of 1999 remains a fun film for teens, fans of films that mock reactionary assholes, people who wish The Terminator (1984) was set in a school, and, crucially, P.E. teachers who wish they could use a flamethrower on that kid who took the piss out of them for teaching Geography.
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jynandor · 7 years ago
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SOLO stuff:
 SPOILERS AHEAD
- han and chewie’s relationship was the best part of it
- alden was alright, he did his own version of the character. didn’t love it but didn’t hate it either. i still think they could’ve cast someone with more physical resemblance to han or at least someone who has similar voice. sometimes it was hard to connect to him and think that’s han but slightly younger
- chewie stole the movie for me. the most emotional moment was when he bonded with some of the wookiees :’) (yeah the moment was brief but extremely adorable). he was just soooooo great <3 i love him so much
- i like some of the locations, new creatures and droids. however, i wish they mentioned some planet names in the movie? like, it would’ve been helpful.
- it’s an enjoyable flick, packed with action. humor was just okay for the most of it
- donald as lando was fine. however, i felt like his presence was minimal and didn’t really make that much of an impression on me? 
- first, didn’t like L3′s design. second, i understand that droid rights is a very important issue but i really didn’t need that mentioned every. few. minutes. of her screen time tbh (many of you will disagree but i found it really annoying)
- i had zero interest in new characters (especially qi’ra, dryden and tobias) (i keep calling him “matias” for some reason)
- generally speaking it had a lot of scenes connecting to prequels and also OT. but then again, i wouldn’t count this as criticism because, lbr, every new SW movie has done this (always connecting or paralleling scenes to older movies). they know fans love that. they like profiting on nostalgia, but also shitting on fans by telling us LeT The PasT Die, SW needs to become something else, stop living in the past! but they also like to earn money off of old characters, rebellion era, prequel references, etc lol. 
- romance was generally so damn underwhelming, han and qi’ra have no chemistry and i wish it wasnt pushed as hard. not even gonna comment hints @ lando/L3 having s*x, YIKES. val/tobias (that’s his name?) was also just thrown in because... of course she died few minutes later and it was mostly used just to show him grieve (about 2 minutes). thandie was criminally underused and it made me mad (this was like paige all over again). cant wait for new episode of westworld so i can fully enjoy her talent <3. 
- speaking of gross relationships dryden/qi’ra is another EVEN BIGGER YIKES. it was kind of only implied but anyway :/
- dryden looked like the most typical villain they could’ve thought of. like, if there was a manual on how to write your average but boring villain - they ticked all the boxes. 
- maul cameo was a bit random, but i get that they wanted to re-introduce him because of obi-wan movie (lmao if  they’re even doing this movie). but i dont care about his character so it made me feel mostly indifferent. some nitpicking ahead but i dont get the point of igniting the lightsaber in that scene? maybe it was all “hey guys, remember the prequels? the first movie we all like to forget sometimes? remember this guy was the sith, “killed” by obi-wan? see, he still has his lightsaber. and no he didnt die btw, you just need to watch two spin off shows to find out or buy novels, comics, etc”. or maybe just to intimidate qi’ra? dunno, it looked weird either way
- never understood why qi’ra went for han first during the fight scene when she clearly could’ve attacked dryden, without the whole drama and trying to make it look like kylo/rey/snoke throne room volume 2.
anyway,
final verdict: 6.5/10, it’s pretty much in the ranks of TFA for me, but certainly better than TLJ... which isn’t a great achievement. it was decent and enjoyable to some extent (even though i spent most of this post um... being kinda negative), but it didnt make any emotional impact on me PERSONALLY, except like one scene or two. BUT if you guys completely enjoyed this movie - it’s totally fine and i get it. 
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unethicallly · 7 years ago
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Can we just talk about TLJ for a second...
It wasn’t even that good.
I’ve always been a nerd. I’ve always liked nerdy sci-fi/ fantasy films. I know what I like, and I know what’s good. TLJ was not good.
and boy are there are many reasons why it wasn’t good.
Finn’s potential was completely wasted. They set his character up for some badassery in TFA. He betrayed the first order. Joined the fight with the resistance AND he’s force sensitive. And in TFA he’s a coward who can only redeem himself through Rose? I was legit sad when I thought he was going to sacrifice himself but like the way rose saved him was kinda dumb.
Speaking of Rose. I don’t really get her point. Finn’s love interest? They’re chemistry is forced in the movie. I’ve read fan fictions where they have better chemistry. Idk their relationship was cringe. Oh god and that kiss. Bleh.
I do not want to speak I’ll of the dead. I have loved Carrie’s roles in all of the Star Wars movies. She’s been an inspiration. But her use of the force was literally my least favorite part of the movie. Flying leia? NO! It would have been better for her but force use to be saving the resistance when they were fleeing from the First Order or something. ANYTHING BESIDES THE SPACE FLIGHT. deus ex force amirite?
Yeah and Luke. Like WTF. Luke WOULD NEVER murder his nephew. Like he would never have ever gotten that far. This is the guy who saw the good in Darth Vader for fucks sake. The writers literally took this movie and shit all over his character arc.
Holdo. You’re dumb. Waste of potential. The officers under you are there to help you. When the General was in a bacta tank you were not named dictator of the resistance. Share your plan; ask for advice.
Speaking of fuckups with Holdo. Poe. Like Finn. What was his point in this movie. He wasn’t taught a lesson. He didn’t truly help the plot. Waste of potential AGAIN.
The casino scene. WASTE OF TIME. It wasn’t even a good use of CGI. The code breaker subplot was so fucking useless. I’m sure a fucking droid could have accomplished the same damn point of the code breaker.
Snoke. Oh my god. WHY WOULD YOU RUIN A VILLIAN WITH POTENTIAL. He could have been the next Emperor. Nope he got duped by Kylo Ben. Bullshit. Fake news.
Where the fuck were the knights of ren?
Phasma. My poor dear Brienne of Tarth. When you’re given something that damn good to work with youd better use it. THIS RELATES BACK TO FINNS MISUSE. Why on earth is it Rose that has to save Finn???? Finn can save his own damn self and he deserves to overcome his oppressors.
The ice foxes are stupid. Porgs weren’t that bad.
The Ach-to training montage was a joke. Literally one of the fan favorite moments from the original trilogy was of Luke on Dagobah training with Yoda. Where’s the bonding???? Instead we got green milk (which was funny) and fish people?
Kylo fucking Ren. I love him ok. I’m reylo trash. But like you made some stupid choices. If you’re going to be the supreme leader kill hux. Seriously if you’re going to take the time to force slam him into shit and yell at each other at every turn...just kill him. If you’re the supreme leader fucking act like it.
Dont even pretend that they’re setting hux up to be the big villian next episode. He’s a fucking pissant! MISS ME WITH THAT BULLSHIT.
Best part of this show was Kylo and ren fighting Snoke gaurds. That moment single handed you made this movie not a complete piece of shit.
The ice foxes were stupid.
Rey’s parentage was a joke. THERE ARE TWO OTHER FORCE NOBODIES IN THIS movie. (Finn and casino kid) why’d you have to fuck with Rey’s backstory as well. A Kenobi x Skywalker romance finally would have been much needed.
Rian Johnson ruined the second part of this trilogy with his motherfucking fanfic. Yeah JJ played it safe in TFA but he didn’t make the majority of the fans want to strike TLJ FROM CANNON. (Don’t mistake me TFA wasn’t perfect. But it kept the original feel)
Please dear god let this trilogy be redeemed.
ANYTHING ELSE IM MISSING?????
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alizrak · 8 years ago
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Finished watching Season 3 with my niece! (with bonus Rogue One!)
Hey! I finally finished watching Season 3 with my niece, and just like the previous two seasons, I made a compilation of most of her comments and impressions. As we had to wait for the Latin Spanish dubbed episodes to come out, we had the chance to also watch Rogue One, TPM, AtoC and the TCW movie. She had a meltdown with the S2 finale a couple of months ago so everything was still fresh for her. My own comments to her are in double brackets.
STEPS INTO SHADOW
“Where is Kanan? Why is Kanan not there? He’s always on the mission with them. Oh god, he’s dead, is he?”, ((The episode is just starting, watch)), “He’s dead in life…!! [wails]”
“WHAT? IS THAT EZRA!? How many years have passed?? I hate his new haircut, but… but he looks so grown up! And thin. Very thin. He’s a grown up noodle” (( HAHAHAHAHA)))
“Hey, I remember him! The pirate guy!”
“Woah. Ezra got a new gun”, ((blaster)), “Yes! He’s getting good! WOW! LOOK AT THOSE MOVES! Acrobatic fighting! He’s amazing now!”
“Great! He also got better with the Force. He’s going to-… [the walker scene plays out]… Oh no… Oh no! HE’S TURNING TO THE DARKSIDE! Kanan definitely didn’t teach him that! Who taught him that?? MAUL?”
“Ezra needs to chill, he’s too angry. The darkside will-… [holocron glows inside the helmet]. No. No. NO. Don’t touch the helmet. Put it down! NO. THE SITH HOLOCRON!?? NO! So dumb!! Haven’t you learn anything!?? Kanan needs to scold him! Set him straight!”
“Kanan is not there in the meeting either… ARRGH! Why wont they show him! That’s what we all want to know! They are making us suffer! [squirms on her seat]”
“FINALLY!”
“Kanan also changed, got older”, ((Just the beard))
“Is that a real voice? Is the sith holocron speaking to Kanan too? Nooo”
“Oh, ♫ here comes the scolding~! ♪”
“See? Only someone who uses the darkside can open it. Ezra’s going to use both! Light and dark”, (([poker face]))
“Yeah, take it from him. Make sure he doesn’t have it. It’s for your own good!… -[GASP] Talking back to Kanan! The nerve! He should ground him”
“Who is talking to Kanan? Is it a bad guy? He should be careful, it could be a trap”
[Bendu appears] “What is THAT!?”
“[eyes widen] Ashla? Bogan? He’s the one in the MIDDLE? THE BENDU!?? [starts going hype on her seat] SEE! THAT’S EZRA! EZRA IS LIKE HIM! Light and dark! He’s BENDU too!”
“He’s going to teach him how to see better with the Force? Neat”
“Who’s that scary blue guy”, ((His name is Grand Admiral Thrawn. He’s very intelligent and dangerous)), “I can tell”
“He can see the spiders now! And yes, yes, Ezra needs you right about now! Go!”
“Hahaha recovery operation”
“The phantom fell! D: Hera is going to be angry”
“Don’t worry Ezra. I’m so glad I know Hera and Kanan are on the way”
“Kanan should tell Ezra with the Force that he’s here to rescue him. He can do that, right?”
“He better catch him”
“Aww… they made up. Good!”
THE HOLOCRONS OF FATE
“Ezra still wants to use the holocron? Doesn’t he learn anything?”
“Oh. OH NO. MAUL. [RAGES]”
“Awesome! Bendu is going to be Ezra’s new teacher? To use the Light and the Dark?”
“I hate the spiders”
“Yeah, Sabine and Zeb are good, but they are no match against MAUL”
“Well, Kanan might have forgive him, but I still think THIS IS YOUR FAULT EZRA! HE WILL NEVER SEE HERA’S FACE! Ugh! I want to punch him!… and maybe hug him later, but slap him for sure!”
“Loook awaaaaay. LISTEN TO YOUR DAD”
((Who do you think Maul’s talking about? )) “Well, of course… [roll eyes] Obi Wan”
ANTILLES EXTRACTION
“Uuuh Sabine is going into the academy! Sneaky!”
“It’s nice that Ezra is worried about her”
[Kallus finds them] “Oh no, Agent Kallus is going to sto-…” [stares at me in disbelief] D: “Did he just… became a good guy?” ((Well, he still owed Zeb, remember)) “Yeah… you might be right”
HERAS’S HEROES
“Why are they risking going inside? Just for… that thing?”
“That blue guy will figure out she was a spy. He’s good.”
“See, he did.”
THE LAST BATTLE
“Those are the same droids we fight on Disney Infinity! This is awesome!” Note: She hasn’t seen clone wars or PT at this point.
“They have Zeb as a prize? Hahahaha”
“How was Rex programmed? Is he a also half robot?”
“Uhm… Ezra is good making friends”
“Yay! They got a new ship!”
IMPERIAL SUPERCOMMANDOS
“Who’s that again?” ((Fenn Rau)) “….who?”
“Why are the Mandalorians attacking them?”
“Her mom is BAD?”
“Hahahahaha, Ezra’s worried about his personal space! Look at his face!”
“They should just beat another mandalorian and steal his jetpack so Ezra can fly away with her”
“NO! THE JETPACK WAS SHOT!”
“She’s going to fix it, right?”
IRON SQUADRON
“They are going to regret not following Hera’s orders”
“Woah, Ezra, you are all mature now…. IS STILL YOUR FAULT KANAN LOST HIS EYES THO!”
“I think I can understand what Chopper says now”
“Now THAT is a Star Destroyer”
“Ezra and the others should just have left them” ((HAHAHAHAHA))
The Wynkahthu Job
“Yeah… Ezra trusts the wrong people easily. Like Maul. THANKS EZRA”
AN INSIDE MAN
“Who is that guy again?”, ((Ryder. From Season 2. The man who told Ezra his parents were dead)) “Uhmm….:|”
“Wait… is Thrawn going to make him ride the bike?… uh-oh… is he injured or…?” ((He’s gone)) “HE EXPLODED?”
“I LOVE WHEN THEY STEAL THE UNIFORMS. They just look at each other and it’s like they know what the other is thinking!” ((That’s kind of an ability with the Force too…)) “It’s awesome”
“Oh… there he is. Agent Kallus again. Ugh. Heh, at least he doesn’t know-… NOPE. HE KNOWS! HE KNOWS! …wait WHAT? He’s HELPING THEM? HE IS FULCRUM!? WHAT!? WHAAAAAAAAAT? He’s been a guy good all along?? BUT HE HURT THEM BEFORE!” ((It’s been only recently… maybe since that episode with Zeb. He helped Sabine, right?)) “YEAH BUT-… why does he stays with the Empire then!?” ((He’s a spy. He needs to keep face!)) “Is he going to come along with them?”
“WHAT? How… How does Thrawn knows what are they going to do?? He’s TOO SMART! D:”
“Ah, Ezra is smart by using the other walker as cover… small cover but its something”
“Oh, was that woman the wife of the guy who exploded? His… young wife? She does look young.”
“Thrawn knows it’s Kallus. He KNOWS it’s him. Thrawn is too smart! D:”
VISIONS AND VOICES
“That was a voice. Someone is calling Ezra. uh-oh… Ezra is going crazy”
“Oh no, no, no, no… it’s Maul, right? It has to be Maul”
“TELL THEM EZRA! SO MOM AND DAD CAN HELP YOU!”
“NO! IT’s RIGHT BEHIND-… WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM! IS EZRA DEAD!? He just fainted right? RIGHT? Oh, look at them…! They are all worried about him! EVERYONE IS WORRIED ABOUT EZRA! THEY ALL LOVE HIM” [starts sobbing] ((hahahahah, yeah, they all worry about-…wait… are you actually crying??)) “YES. They have become a real family! I’m so proud of them! They care about each other! It’s so beautiful!” (( [comforts/hugs her] o___________o [POTENTIAL DEAD OF KANAN AND EZRA STARTS MAKING ME FUCKING SWEAT] ))
“Look at them! They are waiting by his bedside! [dries tears]” (( .____. -OMFG- ))
“He is REALLY going crazy”
“Bendu is going to help them right?”
“Don’t turn around, don’t turn around, don’t- WAAAAAAAH!”
“He’s not your apprentice! Go Kanan! KILL HIM!”
“Well, Maul is right. They do need to defeat the sith. Uhmm… ok”
“He’s not going to hurt Ezra, is he?” ((No, remember when he said he was only loyal to him?)) “Yeah, but I thought he was lying… and because he keeps hurting his friends”
“oh, nonononono… Maul’s starting to talking about himself. I hate when he does that because it makes me care for him. His past is so sad” ((shitshitshitshitshit))
“They killed everyone… all his people”
“What is that place?”
“Is that a lightsaber?” ((Yep… you have seen it. Remember the fight we saw? Of Maul vs Lord Sidious?)) “Uh… yeah, where he kills his brother” (( Maul also had another lightsaber. A black one)) “Oh, that’s right, who made that one? A sith?” ((No… keep watching ;) ))
“Sabine would surely know”
“wait… is he… IS HE GOING TO MAKE EZRA DRINK ALCOHOL!?” ((uh… no, that’s like a dark magic potion)) “IT IS ALCOHOL. EZRA CANT DRINK THAT! He’s not 18 yet!!” ((… yeah, he’s 17 but that still not alcohol)) “It is! LOOK! Maul just toasted with him!” ((No, it is not)) “Ezra is coughing. It is totally alcohol…” ((….I…. ok… ))
“What did they just see? I don’t understand” (( A desert planet with two suns… Tatooine)) “oooohhh… that’s right. Obi Wan.”
“What’s that-! GHOSTS! GET AWAY! DONT LET THEM TOUCH YOU!”
“NOOO THEY TOOK KANAN AND SABINE! NOOO! ITS YOUR FAULT, EZRA! AGAIN!”
“Master versus Student. Nope. NOPE. NOPE”
“FIGHT IT, KANAN! You are the best! You can shake their control!”
“Ezra needs to bring the others outside the cave. Lure them”
“…. like brothers? He misses his family. But is he going to hurt Ezra now??… uh? HE LEFT?” ((Yep. He’s not going to hurt him.)) “Woah… maybe he is loyal to him after all. Evil loyal”
“How is it possible that Sabine is using that lightsaber?? SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW!”
“Ezra, you are a genius!”
“Sabine is going to take the lightsaber with her, right? Just like the jetpack. AWESOME”
( BONUS COMMENTS FROM ROGUE ONE!!)
I wasn’t able to take my niece to Rogue One when it came out because she was off on vacation during the holidays, so I was waiting for the blu-ray to come out. To start, my niece understands this is “3.5” on the timeline. Rebels’ placement is still a little confusing for her. These were her comments and impressions.
Who’s that? why are they looking for them?“
Woah… those troopers… they don’t look the same. ((Death troopers)) Uh-oh.
What… what’s going on? I don’t understand. Why are they leaving the girl? ALONE?
Is that the bad guy from Rebels? ((You mean Tarkin? No. His name is Krennic)) what a weird name…
Trust the Force? Is she a Jedi like Ezra and Kanan?
Where is Darth Vader? Is Darth Vader in this movie?
And now she’s an orphan. Great. They should have just ran.
Why is she in prison? What did she do!?
WHERE ARE WE NOW? What’s going on!?? Why aren’t they explaining anything!??
Why did he shot that guy!? Is he really a good guy? Why-? What-?
WHAT
Ok, so… there’s a message… and that guy brought it and… it’s important for someone called Saw Guerrera? Who send it again?
So her father is with the Empire and made the Death Star? He was forced to do so, I guess.
They want to KILL HER DAD? Are these really the Rebels we know?? ((They think he’s making more weapons, they want to stop him))
K2 is really funny.
That guy looks Mexican. ((He is)) HE IS!? OH! GREAT! Did he have problems with his accent? ((They kept his accent… there are many accents in Star Wars)) Oh, that’s good! :D [NOTE: We are Mexican]
What are they going to do to the pilot?? ((read his mind with that monster)) But he is not lying and he could lose his mind! ((Well, Saw Guerrera is an extremist, right?)) Overkill.
[Chirrut appears] Oh no… no. NO! HE REMINDS ME OF KANAN! HIS EYES! NOOO!
Kyber Crystals? ((Jedi use that for their lightsabers. Like Ezra, remember? It makes the laser.)) Oh… OOOOH, that’s right!
Is he a Jedi? ((Nope. A guard. He feels the Force but can’t use it like Ezra and Kanan))
Jyn can fight!
The blind guy is going to kick everyone’s butt…. THERE.
Hahahaha he’s blind. It won’t matter if they cover his face.
Why does Saw sound like that? ((There is something wrong with his lungs.)) The actor’s or the character’s? ((The Character))
He left her! He raised and left her! But why? He seems to like her enough.
[Galen’s message plays] oh… he did all of this… for her… [sniffles] …this is the first time I cry with a movie.
They are not shooting the Death Star right at them, right? RIGHT? OH NO. RUN! RUN!
He still wants to kill her dad?? He can’t do that! He wants to save them!
Chirrut is going to feel his bad intentions with the Force.
Does he look like a killer? xD Hahahaha.
Yay, the Rebels are sending help. ((Not, really, they are going to bomb the lab)) WHAT!? NO!!
Why won’t she start shooting!? Kill Krennic! He’s right there!
Grab your dad and get out of there!… oh, he’s not going to make it? It didn’t look that bad… :(
What planet is this? (( "Where Jedi go to die?”)) oh. OOOOH.
Hahaha Krennic is scared. Darth Vader is so intimidating.
Ohhhh, hahahaha, that was a great joke. He’s good! xD
They don’t believe her? bah… I would believe her.
((Did you hear that?)) Huh? ((They are calling for General Syndulla)) Yeah. (( Hera Syndulla)) Yeah, so? ….. [beat] …. [eyes widen] HERA? HERA SYNDULLA!? IS SHE IN THE MOVIE!? WHERE!? WHERE!? ((It was just a mention)) For the fans?
Sorry, I’m trying to see if I can spot anyone from Rebels in the background. ((Not yet. I’ll tell you when))
Will the others come too? Are they volunteering? That’s good. But they are so few…
[Jyn gives the speech] You know… I want you to know… I love how the main character is a woman in the new movies. It’s just so cool. Like with Rey. I love it. (( I know))
Why is Hera not helping them? (( I don’t know, maybe she had another mission?))
What a pretty planet. Was all that made with the computer? ((Most of that place is real… the bigger buildings are not)) With like… all the little islands and stuff? ((Yep! Is a beautiful place! Maldives, I believe)) Woah.
Hahaha they stole the uniforms. Classic.
You know, I like how Star Wars doesn’t show much blood everywhere. They get shot but is not like BLEARGH IM BLEEDING OUT. I rather watch it like this.
[I pause it just in time] ((DO YOU SEE HIM??)) CHOPPER! THERE’S CHOPPER!! I LOVE HIM!
Wooo! Here they come helping! YEAH!
WALKERS! RUN! RUNRUNRUNRUN!
They closed the barrier! They need to send the files through WiFi? ((Uhm…Yeah, kinda? lol ))
THERE’S THE GHOST! [several times through the battle]
Oh No, they are shooting K2. No. No, no, no. Please… not him… oh no.
Chirrut… the Force is with him…
Throw the granade away Bhodi-!…too late…
They are all dying.
She’s very strong to be able to climb like that. Crossfit?
I can imagine Hera flying through all of that and like Kanan and Zeb on the turrets shooting at all those TIE. ((We don’t know if Kanan and Ezra are around at this time. Yoda says Luke is the last Jedi on the other movies)) [looks at me dead serious] I don’t care what Yoda says. I don’t care if Luke is not the last Jedi. All I care is that Ezra and Kanan are alive. That’s it! They already took his eyes! THAT’S ENOUGH!“
Send the files through the wifi! NOW!
Who’s there in the hallway? As long as is not-… yeah, it’s him. They are dead.
Oh, OH, RUN. NOW! GO GO GO! Hahahaha [CHEERS] THEY DID IT! IT WAS A CLOSE CALL!
[GASPS] PRINCES LEIA! How did they make her look so young!?? AMAZING!
GHOSTS OF GEONOSIS
"SAW GUERRERA!”
“Where is Jyn? Is she going to show up here?”
“Kanan can sense him with the force”
“Woah Kanan is amazing! So cool! He’s the best!”
“hahaha, not a Skywalker”
“Those droids are too much for Zeb and Sabine”
“I think the alien bug is scared”
“Saw is really extreme”
“Ezra is good at making friends”
“When will Saw get his funny voice?”
“NOOOO, he only wants to protect the egg! Saw is being just MEAN!”
“Poor Klic-Klac! STOP HIM EZRA! SLASH HIS HAND OFF!… ok, you can tackle him too, fine”
“Sabine got her jetpack fixed! YAY! She’s going to kick their butts!!”
WARHEAD
“Well, AP5 is not wrong. Zeb is kinda like the muscle of the group. He’s not that smart”
“Woah, that robot is scary”
[The droid returns to the Star Destroyer] “They are screwed” ((because the droid is going to explode?)) “No, because Thrawn will know at least one his droids did found the Rebels.” ((…. O______O…. ))
“See? He now knows they are in one of those planets the droids visited. He’s too smart!”
TRIALS OF THE DARKSABER
“Uh… so this Mandalorian Jedi must have been, like, super cool”
“SABINE’S ROOM IS AWESOME! [SQUEAL]”
“Why is Sabine’s family angry with her? THEY ARE FAMILY”
“She doesn’t want the responsibility…. Heraaaa don’t push her”
“You know… [a little embarrassed] I kinda wish Sabine and Ezra had a thing together.” ((I don’t know if Sabine cares for Ezra like that. They don’t have time for dating anyway)) “There’s nothing wrong if she does… I mean… when she’s older and she wants kids” (( …even after the war, that might be complicated)) “But if she does…” ((…maybe… but so far they are like siblings)) “But they aren’t. They can end up happy together like Kanan and Hera” (( [stares ahead] Yes… end up happy like Kanan and Hera… o_____o [♪ HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND ]))
“She needs to be careful with the darksaber or she will get hurt- AAAAAAAAAH! DID SHE LOSE HER HAND!?” ((no, she just signed it)) “She’s going to get angry”
[Sabine opens up] “….woah….”
“They will fight for her. They are family”
LEGACY OF MANDALORE
“Uh, I don’t understand what she’s saying. What is she speaking?” ((Mandalorian))
“I bet one of those Mandalorians is a sibling of hers. That one must be her brother” (( O_O ok…)) “SEE!”
“She’s in trouble with her mom!”
“Ezra is so silly and cute at the same time. Just shut up, hahahaha”
“So sad. Her dad is a prisoner… Maybe Ezra and Kanan can help her rescue him. That would make everyone happy and they would join”
“[GASP] Her mom is a traitor! She will betray Sabine! HOW DARE SHE!?”
“Ezra is such a gentleman, giving Sabine his lightsaber to defend herself” ((xD))
“Is no one really going to help her!? REALLY??”
“She can fix her jetpack, right?”
“She’s not a normal Mandalorian. Maybe she- [GASP] SHE GOT SHOT!? OH GOD, NOO!! HE SHOT HER!… ah, ok, it was her mom. GOOD JOB MOM!”
“Wa-wait… she’s staying!? WHAT!…. [sigh] Ok, ok, she’s right. She needs to save her dad and her people… [beat]… IS SHE NOT GOING TO GIVE EZRA A GOODBYE HUG!??”
THROUGH IMPERIAL EYES
[GASP] “What is Ezra doing here!?”
“He knows Fulcrum is Kallus, right??”
“YEAH! This is really dangerous Ezra! What were you thinking!?…Oh. They might know of Kallus? ok, then that’s fine then. They will need to flee quickly”
“What are those lizard things in Thrawn’s office?”
“Thrawn knows is Kallus. He knows. He’s just waiting for him to slip”
“Hahaha stop doing that… good old times”
“Not even Thrawn’s stormtroopers can resist the mind trick”
“Ezra! Push the rock on top of Thrawn! USE THE FORCE NOW! SQUISH HIM!”
“They think Ezra is Lyste. So funny!”
“‘You want to fill me in?’… :( … I keep forgeting Kanan can’t see… uuugh, WAAAAaaah! Why!? WHYYY!… [sigh]… seems like I’ll have to resign myself that he will stay like this forever…”
“W-what? Is Kallus staying!? AFTER ALL THEY WENT THROUGH!? IS HE STUPID? Thrawn knows it’s him! SO DUMB!”
“See? SEEE!? THRAWN KNOWS! UUUUUGH! [throws arms up] Great! GOOD JOB KALLUS!”
SECRET CARGO
“That droid again!”
“Uh-oh, these Rebel groups don’t like each other”
“Ezra knows how to fly those ships! Thanks Hera! He will make you proud!”
“That’s… that woman from the news” ((Do you remember her from Rogue One? The one that told Jyn they couldn’t do anything in the meeting)) “oh, right… so she joins the Rebels now”
“THE GHOST IS BURNING! NO HERA! NO! STOP! NOT THE GHOST. ITS YOUR BABY”
“Well, those ships really got there fast… like… too fast. She stopped talking and 'Hey! We are here!’. Weird.”
DOUBLE AGENT DROID
“Hahahah AP5 and Chopper are so funny”
“They are going to hack Chopper!? FIGHT IT CHOPPER!”
“AP5’s going to realize something is wrong. He’s being too nice”
“Careful with the codes! and with the base location!”
“No!… AP5 is lost in space! They can go back for him, right?”
“Yeah! Don’t mess with her droid!”
“YEAAAH EXPLOSIONS! Sabine would love this! Too bad she’s not here.”
“HAHAHAHAHAHA, He’s singing! HAHAHAHAHA”
TWIN SUNS
“Who’s that… Maul…”
“Easy Maul. I know a way to bring Kenobi out. Just use a kid. A young one preferably. That should work. It’s what I would do if I was evil… see? He’s going to use Ezra” (( [nervous laugh] ))
“I still don’t get it” ((What?)) “Why does Maul want to kill Obi Wan? What does he expect to happen?” ((Maybe feel better?)) “But Maul already made him suffer before and did nothing for him… now he wants to kill him again?” ((He doesn’t know any other way to fix the way he feels)) “Uhmmm… [unconvinced]”
“That’s Kanan’s room… but where is Kanan??” (( [holding back a 'ON HERAS ROOM! YEAH’]))
“Why won’t they let him go? Hera… don’t be so strict. He’s a grown teenager now. Kanan can go with him and it would be quick”
“He’s going… ALONE?… ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Ezra! He’s Maul! MAUL! You can’t beat MAUL alone! He’s way more experienced than you! Even if you got better, you don’t have a chance against him! Leave that to the grown ups!”
“It’s amazing what the Holocrons can do”
“Of course it was a trap”
“[worried look on her face] You know… When Ezra hears Maul’s voice and makes him go a little crazy… I fear he will end up evil like Anakin”
“He should have stayed home”
“OBI WAN! HE CAME TO RESCUE HIM”
“OH MY GOD! THERE HE IS! Is he going to teach Ezra too??”
“Aw… ok, he needs to leave. Yep, he was manipulated. Kenobi will deal with that. Ezra has no business here”
“Does Maul want to get slashed through the middle, AGAIN?”
“He’s protecting… OH THAT’S RIGHT! LUKE!”
[Maul and Obi Wan prepare to fight] ((That’s Qui-Gon’s pose… the one he used when Maul killed him)) “oooooh”
“Bye bye lightsaber and… wait… Obi Wan got him too!?”, ((Yep, on the chest))
“THE CHOSEN ONE! Obi Wan must feel awful because he believed Anakin was the Chosen before and loved him, but at least he has Luke now”
“Is Maul bipolar or what. First he wants to kill Obi Wan, then he gets all emotional being held by him like he loves him… He can’t make up his mind. Oh well, at least the Chosen One will avenge him, that’s what mattered to him”
“Is… is Ezra keeping that ship!? Woah!”
“The family is back together! As it should be!”
ZERO HOUR
“Thrawn knows about the attack. Well… Kallus better tell the others.”
“Wait… WAIT. THAT’S EZRA’S ROOM! From the begining!” ((Kallus is sending his messages from that tower)) “SO COOL!”
“…what… THRAWN! Oh no…”
“Thrawn is going to win this fight… I don’t even know why Kallus thinks he can win. Just flee!”, ((He needs the message to reach them, he can’t leave before that))
“Those are the black troopers! From Rogue One! The really good ones!” ((Yep! Death Troopers))
“Heh, they had erased the planet from the maps… just like what happened with Kamino in the movies… but they couldn’t fool Thrawn either” ((Yeah, exactly, good catch. -Note: We saw TPM, AotC and TCW movies at this point… still need to watch RotS))
“Kanan still needs to teach him more things like a father… see? Ezra is right. Teach him more about life!”
“Wait, they even have a code signal to evacuate the whole base?” ((Well, yes, they need codes to know what to do, they are in war after all!))
“Heh, Kanan needs to go for Bendu”
“They can’t enter hyperspace… they can’t escape!”
“Mmmh… I don’t think Bendu is going to help them”
“What is Sato going to do? He rather die with a few…? Ok then”
“Oh… he rammed into the other ship-…WAIT! WHERE IS KALLUS!? He’s not in that one right? Oh! Phew! He was on the other ship with Thrawn. That was close”
“Well, now Hera is officially in charge of the whole base… not surprising”
“Kanan is making him angry. I think Bendu will end up attacking both sides”
“I still wonder if Ezra will end up in the Middle, like Bendu…”
“Why is he asking Mon Mothma for help?” ((She kinda became one of the leaders of the Rebellion, remember? When all the other ships showed up in the previous episodes)) “They won’t help… how ungrateful. Now what is Ezra going to do?” [“SABINE”] “What… WHAT? SABINE?? He can’t bring her into this! She has her own problems at home! He shouldn’t put her in more danger and there’s little they both can do!” ((He means her family, the Mandalorian)) “SNORTS HA! THEM? Please! The Mandalorians only care for their own people and their wars. You saw that. They are not going to help the Rebels just like that” (( [speechless] ))
“What is Thrawn’s plan now?” ((Attack them on ground and capture the higher ranks)) “What…? Why?” ((If he captures Hera and Dodona, he might be able to extract more information about the Rebellion and make an example of them by executing them later)) “Bah, Hera would die before revealing anything” ((They do have torture droids but they haven’t shown them in the show because this is for kids… they are very effective)) “Nah, Hera wouldn’t talk even then, they would have to kill her”
“How do shields work?” (( Sorry, I don’t know. Technology in Star Wars is sometimes a little fantastic… it just works)) “[unconvinced]”
“Oh no…. KANAN. KANAN FIND COVER NOW. NO. NO. NO! HE’S BLIND! STOP SHOOTING AT HIM!”
“That’s just funny because you are live! hahahahaha… yeah”
“I hate that they make Kanan 'look’ by turning his head around like he can still see. It confuses me…”
“I told you… the Mandalorians aren’t going to help Ezra”
“Ok, it won’t be an army… but I hope that’s enough to help them escape”
“Yeah, Kallus is not like Thrawn. He’s not blue! hahahahaha”
“Zeb and Rex are really good friends… I love how they fight together”
“They even brought those walkers! D:”
“The death troopers! They better run!”
“This is cliché… there’s a storm comming because OF COURSE it is [rolls eyes]” ((Isn’t it strange? This is a desert planet after all)) “Yeah, they have to get a storm in the story to make it feel more dramatic” ((well, you are not wrong but…))
“Ezra is here! Everybody run-!… HAHAHHAHA look how AP5 runs! HAHAHAHAH!”
“oh… is that… IS THAT BENDU?…”
“Ezra has a space suit!! HOW COOL!”
“Bendu is really going to attack both sides… Kanan better run. He’s reaaally angry at him”
“He’s the light, the dark, the one in the middle… it would be better if he was the one in charge of everything, instead of the Emperor. There wouldn’t be any fights” (( I’m… not sure about that))
“HAH! Thrawn thinks he can kill Bendu!… He-…what…he shot him down? WHAT!??? HE CAN’T DO THAT!”
“Is Pryce really going to throw him out to space??” ((did you catch Kallus’ smile there?)) “Yes! Maybe those two troopers are also spies of the Rebellion and they are going to help him escape!?” ((Erh… keep watching)) “Oh, well, that’s ok too… he’s very good fighting after all… only Thrawn has defeated him that badly”
“Is time to flee!”
“Do you see that Pryce!?? HUH! IN YOUR FACE! THEY ARE ESCAPING IN YOUR FACE! UUHH!! WOOOOOH!! [dances in front of the tv]”
[Bendu dissapears] “Heh…surprised, Thrawn?”
“Aaaaw… I don’t think I ever heard someone praising Kallus for a job well done like that… this is great, they are so accepting”
“They will make it happen!”
EXTRA:
Reaction to the Season 4 trailer: “Wait- wait… ’End like this’? Does- does she mean like 'in a good way’ or 'a bad way’?” ((…we don’t know…)) “Woah, this is very fast paced, very epic! Looks great!”
When told Season 4 is the last one: “WHAT!? WHY? Rebels is so good! What are they thinking? I still want more! They can’t do this!” [excruciating sounds]
When shown Forces of Destiny announcement and dolls: “They look amazing! I want to watch that series too and I want the dolls for Sabine, Ahsoka and Hera… there IS a Hera doll, right??” ((I sure hope so kiddo))
In general, I’m really freaking nervous with Season 4 because Kanan is pretty much her favorite character, and in her eyes Hera and Kanan are definitely together, being Ezra’s adoptive mom and dad. Her crying when Ezra fainted in Visions and Voices caught me completely off guard. He had just fainted. Dear lord, I don’t want think the problem I’m going to have in my hands with her mom if she returns home an emotional mess if they die. I don’t know about other target audience, but she made it clear to me during Rogue One that they MUST be alive. And I’m just here, praying and hoping she’s right.
Submitted May 10, 2017 at 01:00PM via reddit http://ift.tt/2q3ZzsQ
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