#like i dont think im very good at composition but i also dont think about it much and yet

[seagull-scribbles]

Wakko warner warm-up

[maretriarch]

coming to the horrifying realization that i actually do want to be an artist while fully knowing how dumb and ill advised that is

[godsfavoritescientist]

Tbh? I still feel so out of my depth whenever I try to write Bill. For whatever reason it doesn't come naturally to me like writing Ford does. Every time one of y'all has thoughts on Bill's characterization or writes something Bill-centric I'm mentally taking so many notes

[voidheartkisses]

Okay hello hi hello,

First off you're amazing and a gift to the world, I wish I had even half your talent. Your last piece blew my mind and I just HAD to ask,

How long have you been drawing/painting for? I imagine forever but I'm always curious how long it takes before artists reach these sorts of levels where it evolves into full-scale projects as opposed to smaller hobbyist crafts. There are so many beautiful art pieces on this platform as a whole and I'm constantly baffled by it all

Sorry if my excitement is off-putting that piece is heavenly and my mind is blown. Hope you're doing well!

Hi and thank you! That's a good question

So I've been drawing since I was born, but I've been drawing digitally for 8 years. I think in the very beginning most artists should just focus on having fun, you'll basically improve by default

after a while you will want to improve. It will be slow, but this is the stage where you'll recognize what you need work on

I'd say the turning point is when you've finally gotten far enough into your art journey without any sort of formal training (ie, a lot of artists dont learn the basics/fundamentals first, which is fine since most of us start as hobbyists) But I think learning them really did help me a lot. You start to think more about how light and shadow lays, depth, 3D objects, and more.

I highly recommend watching this video about levels of art, it's been really helpful and motivating to me throughout the years

This part is going to be long so you don't have to read it but I just wanna give my personal journey and how I got to now if anyone thinks it'll be helpful:

(2017) With digital art, I started off on ms paint and occasionally ibis paint x. Mostly using anime deviantart bases (EMBARRASSING), but after a while I developed my own style based on the people I was inspired by at the time, I was just happy to draw and didn't care much about improving at this time

(2019) The people you look up to artistically will naturally change over time (and thats okay), after a while I decided to switch to firealpaca, where I guess I got more invested on how light and shadows work, as well as making my characters look a bit more natural and develop my own style, your preference in aesthetic may also change over time which is noticeable here

(2021) Eventually, I began to lean more into semirealism (which isn't everyones preference and thats okay! realism shouldn't be the ultimate end goal of art) but I really enjoyed making stylized characters look 3D and in natural looking environments, since I felt it spoke to my own experiences, a lot of artists draw from real life experiences. I focused more on anatomy at this time as well as textures and environments, composition also became a big deal for me at this time, as well as wanting to use different colors

(2024) The change from LINEART to DIGITAL PAINTING in 2022 was the hardest for me once I switched to clip studio paint, it was basically like starting all over and I was so lost. I had a lot to figure out on my own but I knew it was a transition I had to make to draw the kind of art I wanted. But I began to study and take more things into consideration, I didn't like my art so I simply kept going "I can do better", learning from my previous mistakes and slowly making something I would be more satisfied with. At this point art felt more like "projects" then anything, because I wanted to make pieces that were of quality and had time and care put into each of them, sure it meant there was no longer much quantity. but hey that's what my smaller Cult of the Lamb lineart drawings are for!! 💙

I'm still growing and I definitely have a long way to go, but I am very proud of my progress this year, and I'll continue to grow until I'm satisfied (haha im stubborn) I also want to develop my secondary lineart style that I do when I'm not painting, since I feel that is important too

in short; time, practice, dedication, and passion are the most important, draw what you love above all else because it will be your drive to keep going, staying motivated was the most important for me

Sorry for the long post 😭

[juniemunie]

SO, MY HIGH QUALITY HTTYD MOVIE ANALYSIS IS HERE

so as ive said before in old posts, i have been watching httyd over and over religiously for so long to the point ive memorized all the lines right

u see the quality of that movie on my old childhood laptop was not perfect. suitable for a simple viewing yes, but not analysis

i never thought about it until a couple of days ago, where i had the opportunity to... acquire... a really high quality version of the movie

took me nearly a whole day to get it to download but i got it and watched it last night

....and wow. it really felt like i got my glasses again and i noticed so many more things. and there were a lot of cool characterizations and animations i missed

if ur interested in listening to me ramble, feel free kdfsgjsl

Literally just a few seconds in and im surprised by how beautiful the night sky is (THERE WERE NEBULAE???) i knew toothless was there but it caught me off guard how pretty and numerous the stars were

SO FIRST SCENE THE RAID

being able to visibly see with such detail that i could see the hair strands of the vikings was wowie, and STOICK'S WRINKLESSS

BUT THE ONE I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT WAS WHEN HICCUP WAS SHOOTING DOWN TOOTHLESS

I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SEE HIS SILHOUETTE BLOCKING OUT THE STARS HERE THATS SO DAMN COOL

the thing i noticed the most in this viewing is Stoick's microexpressions, he has A LOT that i missed simply because the quality wasn't high enough for me to spot them because typically hes not the focus of the camera

for example, here when Gobber and Stoick talk

he makes gestures (when he says his father told him to bang his head he lightly hits the pillar to emphasize it) as well as moves his hands almost very similarly to Hiccup and thats so endearing (Gobber seeing all the similarities but still has to mediate between the two of em HAHAAHAH)

HIS EYES....

His spots are super visible in this version too its such a treat to see everytime Toothless is there

also this composition! I just noticed how nicely placed the stairs are, it gives a natural divide between the two of them

this one here, he has a split second microexpression where he's thinking about what to say next, i think he realized he has to at least encourage him, not scold him

he's less confident as he walks out too, its blurry but he keeps shifting his eyes back to hiccup. if he isn't asserting authority on hiccup they're just both awkward around each other kjfdbglskk

my favorite thing about the dragons are their eyes, toothless' eyes does a wonderful job conveying his emotions even if its just to dilate when he's happy or narrow when he's assessing or feels in danger, its one of the traits i rlly loved watching in the first

look how he mimics the way humans are sitting ksdjfbglsdk

the series of exchanges these to have rlly is just them expressing civility that they think the other would approve of, (Hiccup spares him, Toothless spares him in return. Hiccup merely observes, he observes back. Hiccup drops his weapons, Toothless drops his guard. Hiccup gives him fish, Toothless having not much to offer, decides to share it with him.) It shows how Toothless is quite considerate and honorable.

and i like how in the first movie when he's aggressive he shows off his teeth and especially his gums more. i dont think i see his gums as prominently in the,,, sequels which is a shame because the light colors of his mouth contrasts super well with his dark scales

I CAN SEE HIS FACIAL MUSCLES MOVE HERE WOW. (its like he's really taking in the touch of hiccup's hand here, anticipating smth bad but nothing happening)

oh the way hiccup's face falls when stoick says "all those years of the worst viking berk has ever seen!

stoick isnt good with emotional talking, but this is the most open and we've seen him with hiccup so far

he's a hard ass, but the moment he finds that hiccup has done something great, he goes to him because he thinks he finally has a thread, something in common that they COULD BOND WITH

he literally goes "we finally have something to talk about" HE JUST WANTS A FATHER-SON BOND IM GONNA CRY

and you can see how toothless processes in a millisecond that astrid hurt hiccup

typically the "steed" falls head over heels for the male's love interest, which is why i rlly do like how toothless doesnt like astrid at all when he firsts meet him

HE RLLY DOESNT LIKE HER AT ALL HAHAHA

also take note how the first thing Hookfang does is to attempt to climb or get out, and when he cant, addresses the only one in the ring. im pretty sure he's intelligent enough to know the situation (ive been planning a fic of his perspective of the movie honestly)

OH THE WAY HES DRAGGED BACK TO HIS CAGE OH IM SO SORRY

this scene. i have no other words. it is vital to me that this split second expression existed. he rlly processed what he just said here to his own son

THIS MICROEXPRESSION I COMPLETELY MISSED

I never knew how uncertain his expression looked as he looked away from Hiccup, like he was hesitating, but then the anger comes back and his fists clench

AND OH MAN TOOTHLESS' EXPRESSION!!! I DID NOT MEAN TO CATCH THAT BUT IM SO GLAD I DID

and no thats not him noticing stoick, after the expression in the previous pic, he blinks, and THEN he notices stoick nearing and glaring at him, which he returns back

ITS LIKE TOOTHLESS IS HAVING HIS OWN INTERNAL THOUGHTS AT THAT MOMENT AND THATS SO?????

THEY TREAT TOOTHLESS LIKE A THINKING FEELING CHARACTER, AND ITS PERFECTION

final one, i love his expression here, he usually lifts his lips when he's angry, scared or ticked off but in this context its obvious he still doesn't like stoick, but he saved him and hiccup. so its only right to toothless that he returns the favor.

AND THATS ALL IVE GOT FOR NOW THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO ME RAMBLE HAHAHA

[st-hedge]

Hello Hedge!

I just wanted to say, no matter what you draw or paint, your art always looks so good!! But I also wanted to ask if you had any tips and stuff for someone who is extremely unskilled at painting backgrounds and sceneries? Or like, what would you recommend as a starting point? I've been struggling for literal years and have never found anything that makes painting backgrounds enjoyable, or that makes me feel like my backgrounds are... well, satisfying, if that makes any sense.

I hope you have a wonderful day, and thank you 💕

Heya! c: i was giving this a think and im gonna say if u dont enjoy making something, don't force urself to! someone who is good at doing backgrounds may be only good at that. they might've discovered they hate drawing people or are really bad at it (like bob ross ehehe) so they focused entirely on doing landscapes. so if u just find urself not enjoying backgrounds, it's okay!!

but if u want to give backgrounds another shot, here's an idea I had: i think that backgrounds can be very overwhelming and unenjoyable cuz of the scale and the fact that u think u gotta fill the entire canvas. the way i got over that gradually is by doing very simple block colour thumbnail sketches. base the sketches on photos, game screenshots, whatever u have on ur mind that might look neat. it helped me understand composition and colour palettes much better, which also helped me to then progress into doing more detailed paintings by making it feel less overwhelming. u can also then just blur the thumbnail and stick it in the background of a portrait and it'll look grand!

once i got more comfortable with making those thumbnail sketches, i'd go back over the painting with more detail. but by that i don't mean go back in and draw every darn leaf by hand. what i do is grab a favourite textured brush on the messy side (eg. wedge tail in procreate) and go over things to add shape and texture. u can imply a great amount of detail just from making a mess of texture lmao

once i have that satisfying amount of chaos, i might see shapes i like and then in that case i go back in and refine them with finer brushes. that might even be by just using those sort of 'stamp' brushes that immediately stick in leaf texture or something

thats how i managed to eliminated what i hate about doing backgrounds. if there is a specific thing u hate about doing landscapes, there's probably a work around for it that is lazy and satisfying as hell. maybe breaking the process down like i described above will help u figure out what it is

i hope that helps a little! but again please don't pressure urself into drawing something u might just dislike!

[candy8448]

Nearing the end of the dungeon meshi manga!

(Previous post)

I really like how chilchuck has a crisis and then starts to take charge lol. I love him. Dadchuck really shining through

Dadchuck! Dadchuck! Dadchuck!

Also i love the little tidbit about the cultural differences with even what to do with a babytooth. The tiny details are so cool

I like how the really powerful monster marcille makes is the EXACT SAME as the familiar she made to rescue senshi from the griffin. Same amount of wings and everything, i like that

I really dont like the labru ship but i can deffo see where people are comming from. The energy in this page is just overflowing

Also i really like the composition of the pannel with laios and kensuke being completely black. Shows the manipulation and evilness of the winged lion, its cool

I mentioned in this post how that when i saw it, i thought that it was chilchuck and his wife and what i thought about that. People however said it wasnt him due to the size of his ears and such (see the post for details on both parts) so idk, what do u think.

Oh no the hourglass eyes D:

Also the next pannel after that looks really cool, i love it

XD chilchuck knowing exactly what to get marcille to listen while everyone else's doesnt work as well, lol

These pages are amazing. Chilchuck's and izutsumi's expressions are everything. I love all of them so so much ^v^

Dang, her and laios both being like "i think the demon's powers are evil" "i think that being the dugeon lord is bad" XDXDXD

JAJSGDSJAHSB I FORGOT BUT I JUST REMEMBERED THAT "eating is a privilege of the living" :000!!

Falin's so me core...

The canaries applying sunscreen to mithrun otherwise he would forget and shiro picking up shells for falin are so cute!

I find it so funny how laios and crew just gets eaten lol

We are getting near the end and its crazy, i really dont want it to be over :( (but im deffo glad that kui decided to end it at a good point rather than drawing it out for too long. I despise series that draw it out for even a tiny bit too long)

(Couldn't marcille have asked the winged lion to change falin back to how she was before? Instead of just freezing her?)

Actually no, cuz if they tried to get her out of the dungeon the effect would dissapear and she would turn back to a chimera but outside and thats not good seeing how easily she murdered shiro's and the other parties

And to think that from neat the start, if they revived Falin with the black magic and then very soon after asked falin to teleport them back to the surface, then none of this would have happened lol, though i guess like laios said to marcille, without all of this they wouldn't have had all this fun and tried all that food and grown close together. I guess the real meshi was the friends we made along the way.

(Next post)

[spacedlexi]

if you had to pinpoint some kind of source, what caused you to "level up" in terms of art? like what do you think propelled you from being a beginner or intermediate artist to being a more advanced artist?

definitely more than one source!! but the two most important things are: study references and keep drawing!!

i dont do as many studies as i should 💀 but every time i do my eye definitely improves. using pose references, looking at photos for color palettes, studying shot composition of shows and movies i like. i really recommend doing quick gesture drawings to warm up. in class we would do 10 second, 30 second, 1 minute, 5 minutes, 10 minutes for warming up (i really need to get back to doing this 💀). portrait studies are also good for learning face structure

line of action is the site i use for gesture drawings. if you dont know what gesture drawings are its about focusing on the form and movement of the body without focusing on details too much. you want to keep your lines long and flowing no short sketchy lines. its why its a good way to warm up as well it encourages you to put your whole arm into it (as you should, its not good to draw from the wrist its bad for your wrist anyway)

but even more important than studies (which are Very important) is to just keep drawing!! you improve with every piece even if you hate what you drew (you hating it is you recognizing something isnt Right and maybe youll figure it out next time! this is when studies help). dont feel like you Have to draw a certain way either. ive basically eliminated line work from my art and im much happier for it (i prefer sketchier lines and its just made me a cleaner draftsman overall. my actual "sketches" now are basically just thumbnails so i dont get lost in the details (and if i do i end up liking the sketch more))

i feel like i really "leveled up" in the past couple years and that was because i was forced to do a lot of studies for my portfolio 💀 but also i just kept drawing and let myself experiment with how i Wanted to draw. as soon as i dropped any notions about what my art "had" to be it was like everything changed and now ive developed a style i feel comfortable and confident with :) and when i look back at my old art that i still like, i can see a version of my current style in there like it was always in there deep down and i finally just let it Be

good luck on your art journey anon!! be kind to yourself and just keep going! we all move at our own pace

[butchdiaz]

hiiiii your edits are so incredible!!! i've been thinking about trying my hand at video editing do you have any tips?? also how does one source clips lol

hope you're having a good day :)

hi!!!! thank u so much! for sourcing clips, i did it the hard way by downloading full episodes and screen recording the clips i wanted w quicktime which is a lengthy process that takes up a lot of space on ur laptop LOL but i really wanted HD footage and didnt know any other way when i started and now i just have my own little library of clips.

here is a lifesaving site to download eps if u dont wanna/cant torrent. i forget who made it but if someone knows lmk so i can credit!

after i had done all that i discovered that there were these magical things called scene packs that are more popular over on twitter. where u can easily download every buddie scene in s2-4 for example that took me hours to record myself 🤦🏽‍♂️ i dont really have any specific sources for u bc im not on twitter. sorry ik thats not very helpful LMAO but if u ask around/search for them i know they are out there!

and uhhh as far as tips go here are some things i personally think about while editing! everyone has different styles and methods though:) this got long accidentally so its going under the cut oops

- i like to try and tell a story w my edits so im almost always thinking about that first and foremost. like how can i tie the beginning to the end and have a satisfying climax etc. i try to work with the song and highlight the emotional/tonal shifts in the music with my editing

- on that note, i am very influenced by the music while im editing cause i want my edits to LOOK like how it FEELS when im listening to the song. i think my best example of this is im afraid i love you. the drop in the chorus feels like a punch to the gut everytime and i really wanted to visuals to reflect that so it would be the most powerful. hence: soft lovey dovey looks galore and then BAM! SHOOTING. these comments fills my heart with glee cause it makes me feel like i did a good job capturing the feeling the song gives me.

i also really love the way the beat comes in in the second verse of that song and i made sure to sync up the shots to the beat at that moment instead of the words in order to highlight the musical shift. (i always think about how @ilostyou loves that verse and calls it bouncy, it makes me feel like i achieved my goal!!!!)

- the little details and nitpicky stuff goes a long way! like painstakingly making sure clips hit right on time with the beat/the words if thats ur intention. it may seem like a chore at the time but it definitely pays off for me at least

- i also think a LOT about composition, and how to make edits flow smoothly so that the viewer can follow the story easily. if i have a bunch of faster clips in a row im going to try to make sure the focus stays in the same place so the viewers eyes dont have to jump around to find what they are looking for. its easier to explain w an example so in happy to be here, for these three shots on the word "en-gi-neer" i wanted the order to go frank -> dr salazar -> buck.

because then it goes back to frank for "listening" so i wanted space between when it shows him AND i wanted it to end on buck cause he's the most important. but the original shot of dr. salazar was flipped so at first it looked like this:

and i didn't like how ur eyes had to go back and forth so fast, so i flipped the middle clip. it was much easier to process all three clips in quick succession if the subject didn't move. hope that makes sense!

[athenxt]

hot take but i dont like smoothie. i honestly feel like sm is trying to turn the dreamies into 127 or exo bc they dont have access to them anymore due to members leaving the company and taeyong in the army. honestly i wouldn't mind the dark concept for the dreamies if the song wasnt so bad. im biased bc i love istj as an album and songs individually, but they did a better job in terms of concept and cohesiveness. even though sos and yogurt shake and poison are all in different styles of music, it still was cohesive. i honestly think that the album was weak in terms of composition, concept, and use of their voices. i will say it once again WHERE DID THE DOJAEJJNG PRODUCERS GO. i honestly love the new japanese song that came out bc it sounds like a song nct dream would put out. for example, even though i have gripes about the song ridin', it still sounds like a dreamie song. i really hope sm doesnt lose the dreamie sound bc of riize. i love riize but i mnow they are the new younger boy group, which is what nct dream was known as and their music is amazing, but i dont want sm to see that and take away what made the dreamies, nct dream and THIS ALSO INCLUDES NCT 127 BC IM STILL UPSET THAT THE LAST ALBUM WE GOT WAS FACT CHECK LIKE WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN FACT CHECK AND AYYO

anyways, thank you for reading :p, im a very passionate about this bc i know nct dream will be even more busy due to nct 127 members starting to join the army but im just saying, this is a good time for dojaejung to comeback........

[mrgladstonegander]

DCRC Week 2

im reading this when i should probably be taking a nap, so i do not apologize if i sound very sleepy

... okay girl what do you know.....

this is such a good face. very good donald panel.

who is the color artist for PK why are there so many characters with bright pink??

this is a very well drawn panel and hatching/composition aside. how many floors does Ducklair have? because im assumig this isn't part of the 101 floors donald counted (i hope theres inter-city tunnels for quick travel or something i would love that)

not censoring angus bc this is a #real momment. also aww look at that scrooge :) hes so happy

okay i loveee this composition. the bottom panel basically being a full page spread is really cool (the white is probably mainly just for bleed space)

the hatching on this comic is really good so far! and coloring wise i think i feel like its strongest when it has funky lighting like in the last panel. like the purple here:

im sure the normal scenes will grow on me, but for right now some of the character's neutral colors clash a bit with the background for me

1 ) why did they make the ducklair look so menacing for this... 2) omg lyla :3 so cute

I ALWAYS FORGET HOW SHORT HE IS MY GOSSHHH 😭why are all the other big so much bigger than the ducks/mcducks its so funny

OH SHES A ROBOT FOR SURE

is she tall because she has robot legs. not that im jealous or anything

i just wanna say his shield REALLY makes his design a lot cooler. you can shield or shield bash, shoot with that like. she has the range we love that for her 🫶 if this shield ever breaks i will be actually sad

LOVEEE when they do red/orange lighting like this looks so appealing. if ppl are interested i might do a color analysis/art thing for PK

not sure if my brain is more bothered by his frightening white boy eyes or his tongue just hanging out there

ok sorry my art brain is always on but like. first off this Flow is really interesting because i think most people would probably avoid that middle section where theres "sharp" turns (and personally, donald feels a little squished)

dont think of this as a flex, this is just a fun edit i did for how i'd probably panel this

maybe im just paranoid or reading too much ito this but i REALLY do not like how her face is split down the middle while she's telling us this. is she hiding things??? is she lying about something?? why are you so suspicious girl

its good that daisy isnt in this universe/story huh

ONE (or should i call him uno??idk) AND DONALD ARE BI4BI?? LETS GOO

[loversj0y]

'tis the damn season

chapter four - now im missing your smile

the final day hits you with a realization you can no longer hide from, with the combination of leaving and potentially losing him marking the day with the grim note of what feels like death row.

tis the damn season masterlist

pairing: cc!wilbur soot x gn!reader

this chapter is more angst-focused, but there is fluff as well. sad ending tho so... :)

trigger warnings: reader's mother is abusive (not physically) and father is emotionally absent. this will be talked about in extensive detail. alcohol, some suggestive themes, and a lot of anxiety, MAJOR TW FOR PANIC ATTACK

author's note: okay. we've reached the final chapter. which feels weird. i may eventually add more into this series, maybe a follow up or even some one-shots surrounding the story. i have a few in mind already actually. but yeah! i hope you enjoy! and i hope you end up as emotionally wrecked as my editor was! also i utilize a cliche in this chapter however. i dont care i love cliches in writing ao3 version is available here!

word count: 6.6k

You woke up to Wilbur singing softly. As you regained consciousness more and more, you recognized the song he was singing. 

“I knew that look, dear, eyes always seeking, was there in someone that dug long ago, so I will not ask you why you were creeping, in some sad way, I already know.”

It was Hozier. Like Real People Do, to be specific. You smiled, your eyes slowly opening. He was looking up at the ceiling, a soft smile on his face, though one hand gently played with your hair. You shifted, causing him to look down at you, but instead of being startled, he kept singing. 

“So I will not ask you where you came from, I would not ask and neither would you,” he gently kissed your forehead, “Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do.” 

You smiled softly, leaning up to gently kiss him. “Good morning,” you whispered. 

He kissed you back, holding you close, “Morning, love.”

“You were singing.” You commented quietly, and he nodded.

“Glad you noticed,” he joked. “Was just feeling sing-y this morning, I suppose.”

You smiled, leaning up a bit, “were you up singing for long?”

He pushed a strand of your hair back gently, shaking his head, “Not really. I’ve only been up for around thirty minutes, you just looked very peaceful, so I didn’t want to move and wake you.” 

“That’s sweet,” you hummed, “what time is it?”

“Just past noon.”

You nodded softly. Just under eight hours left together then. You sat up slowly, but Wilbur caught your arm and pulled you back down. You chuckled softly at his warm grin, “Wilbur, we have to clean, and I need to pack.” 

He hummed, “I disagree, actually. I think, if you were to look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, neither of those things falls there. However, right there, at the base, the most essential thing is actually us cuddling together and listening to some sweet, loving music together.”

You chuckled, laying your head against his chest. “Fine. But only for a bit.”

He cheered, grabbing his phone to start playing some soft love songs, all very guitar-based in their composition.

“Are you excited to go back to Brighton?” You asked quietly.

“Somewhat,” he shrugged, “It’ll be nice to be back in my place, but I’ll definitely miss being here. It’s not great being back here, but you know,” he gave you a soft smile, “there can be some hidden charms.” 

You flushed lightly, nodding. “I agree. There are definitely some hidden charms.”

He chuckled, wrapping his arms loosely around you. “I know you’re not excited to go back, but are you at least excited to finish Uni?”

“Insanely.” You laughed, leaning your head against him, “The studying is interesting, but my god, I’m ready to just be done with the constant exams and tests and being told my interpretations are wrong.” 

“Do you get told that often?”

“Sometimes,” You shrugged,  “I have a habit of putting romance in places it doesn’t belong.” 

He smiled, “Always the hopeless romantic, hm?”

“In a sense. I just find that people will try to love, even if they shouldn’t. I mean think about Shakespeare’s work. Romeo and Juliet, the classic love tragedy, but then there’s also an entire sonnet he wrote basically insulting a woman just to end it by saying he loves her. And even in Macbeth, Macbeth listens to Lady Macbeth’s sadistic urges because he loves her and trusts her. People always focus on the negatives of these stories without focusing on how much romance truly exists inside of them. People always call Lady Macbeth an insane woman, and while she is, she is loved. The story would hardly happen if she wasn’t loved.”

He hummed softly. The entire time you spoke, he looked genuinely interested. It was almost startling. You weren’t used to being taken seriously when you spoke about the things you loved to talk about. Usually, it was a faux nod and an “oh, yeah”, but Wilbur was paying full attention to each syllable. Even if he’d been doing this for the past two weeks, it still shocked you. You wondered how long it would take you to get used to this. 

“I like that interpretation.” He smiled softly. “Makes things seem less bleak. More crime of passion rather than just crime.” 

You chuckled softly, “Exactly. I’m not exactly an optimist, but I do find it prettier to look at things like that.” 

He nodded, “It definitely is prettier. See, these are the thing I want to know more about you. Just another thing to add to my list of things I’ve memorized about you.”

“I guess so. I wouldn’t say that’s exactly part of how I perceive the world, but it is part of how I view literature, so which is a big part of my life, so.” 

“Which is just the type of thing you could bring to lyrics. Some of the best lyrics are just allusions. Mostly to biblical things, but still.” 

“I don’t know about lyrics, but maybe. I could give it a go at some point. I’m sure I’ll have to write a lyrical piece in one of my writing classes at some point anyway.”

“I think you would be fantastic at writing lyrics.”

“I think you’re biased.”

“I absolutely am biased.” 

You laughed, burying your face against him gently. He kissed the top of your head, rubbing your back gently. 

“Do you think if I convinced my band to let us write an entire song about two frogs falling in love, anyone would notice?”

You threw your head back with a loud laugh, a wide grin on your face. “With your writing prowess? Only if you wanted people to.”

“Do you think it’d make for a good song?” He snickered under his breath, clearly trying to hide his own laughter.

“Oh, absolutely,” you laughed, “you just have to give them a good story. Like maybe - maybe they live in opposite ponds, and he’s been admiring her beauty, so he starts going over to try and get to know her, but she refuses to like him, saying he’s not worth her time. But then, he comes by every day to sit there with her, a lilypad away, and eventually, they start talking. And just when he’s about to lose hope, he wakes up to find her waiting in his pond, showing how much she’s fallen for him, and that’s how they end up together.” 

He smiled happily, “That’s a good story. Is it taken, I might use it?”

You hummed, “You can use it, under one condition. If you use it, you need to put one word in it, anywhere you want, but it has to be in it.”

“What word?”

You thought for a moment, trying to pull through every old scholarly vocabulary paper you’d studied. “Limerence.”

“Limerence?”

You nodded, “It’s like an obsessive crush. A crush, but all-encompassing and not entirely healthy. You have to find a way to use it without making their love seem negative.”

He hummed, “Okay. I can do that. Wish I knew that word for the E-Girl trilogy, would’ve been a good one to include.”

“I’m sorry, the what?”

He flushed, suddenly embarrassed. “It’s a bit hard to explain, okay? It’s these three songs that I have and they’re from the perspective of a simp incel type of guy who is obsessed with a streamer who he used to be in school with. It’s supposed to make fun of guys like that.”

You leaned over him, grabbing the TV remote from the side table and handing it to him. “Put it on, right now, please,” you giggled softly. 

He did so begrudgingly, clearly embarrassed to show you. He played all three music videos for you, and you grinned up at him. 

“Don’t be so embarrassed, they’re really cool.”

“I’m not embarrassed about the quality, it’s more about you seeing me playing a character like that.”

“Well, yes, but you’re just playing a character.”

“I know, but I’d hate to think of you seeing me like that. I care a lot about your opinion of me.”

You smiled softly, gently playing with his hair, “Don’t worry. I know how to separate you from your online persona, not to mention the art you create. I think the stuff you do is so cool. Plus, I like how goofy you are in your content and stuff, I find it quite cute.”

“Good, I’m glad,” he relaxed a bit, before speaking again, “You’ve been watching my content?”

You flushed lightly, “Mostly your VODs and such. I haven’t watched your Youtube content too much yet.”

He grinned proudly, “I’m glad you’ve been enjoying it.” He snickered softly before speaking again as if telling a private joke, “Have you checked if you’re subscribed? You know, most people don’t know that there’s a glitch on Youtube that unsubscribes you, so you should really double check.” He broke into laughter as he finished, and you rolled your eyes, kissing him. 

“With jokes like that, you should be lucky I haven’t purposefully unsubscribed yet.”

He gasped in mock horror, “How could you? When- when subscribing is completely free?” 

You both fell into laughter, holding each other close. You continued talking for a long while, trying to absorb as much of each other as you could. You had one thought that you simply couldn’t push out of your brain, it kept coming back every other moment. Today feels like an apocalypse. It was a thought that perplexed you, because you understood it without fully divulging it’s meaning. It more accurately felt like the moment before the apocalypse, where everything seems peaceful. Most people speaking about tragic events always talk about a warning feeling in their chest, but you didn’t feel that. And while it should have been comforting, you already knew what was coming, the tragedy of leaving him was not an unsuspecting one you had to rely on intuition to prepare for. It was something that you were aware of, something you knew was coming regardless of how much you wished for it to not. You could hear the clock counting you down in your head. Every second. Tick. Tock. It made you feel a bit insane. Tick. Tock. To have this constant awareness of the passage of time, counting down your seconds to leaving him. Tick. Tock. It felt like a death march. Tick tock. It felt like an execution. Tick tock. It felt like the end. 

Wilbur’s voice pulled you out of your head this time. He hadn’t noticed your descent into madness, staring at the ceiling and thinking himself. You wondered if the clock was ticking in his head as well. Even if it was, his demeanor for the time being seemed much more positive than your own. “What should we do when you visit Brighton for the first time?”

“Hm, I’m not sure. What could we do?”

He smiled, “We could go walking about the lanes, there’s a lot of nice shops there. I could take you to my band rehearsal, as well. You could meet Tommy and some of my other friends in person as well. We could go on the i360, and get a nice view. We should go to the beach, too. Wait until night so we get some privacy as well. We could swim, too, but we don’t have to. Depends on when you visit. But the beach we definitely have to visit.”

“That all sounds really lovely. Especially the beach. I can’t remember the last time I was able to stare out at the water.”

He smiled, “It’s settled then. We can’t do everything all at once, though, obviously. We have to save some things for each time you come to visit.”

“Oh, of course. We take it bit by bit. Though, I’d like to go to your band rehearsals every time if possible. If not, maybe then I’ll hang out with Tommy or something.”

He chuckled, “Okay, that’s a deal, then.” His voice drowned out the ticking, you noted to yourself with a smile. 

You sat up slowly,  “How long have we been here?” 

He grabbed his phone, checking the time, “it’s 2:30,” he sighed.

You stood, and this time he knew that he wouldn’t be able to convince you to stay longer. The ticking was faster and louder now. Ticktock, Ticktock, Ticktock. “We have to be at the station by 8:30, and the station is twenty minutes away, but because of traffic, we’ll probably be better off leaving at 8.” Five and a half hours left. “Right, let me change and finish packing first.” 

He sat up while you changed, standing slowly and stretching. He pulled out his jumper from your bag, handing it to you. “You should wear it. On the train.”

You smiled softly at him, pulling it on. Once you did so, you grabbed your phone, and he watched as you sent him a quick text of just a smiley face. You looked back up at him, “Just making good on our deal.”

He smiled, leaning forward and kissing you gently. You leaned into the kiss, holding onto his arms lightly. It was a delicate kiss, both of you seemingly feeling as though anything more than that could shatter the atmosphere. He placed a kiss on top of your head as well, before slowly pulling away. Neither of you said anything. Neither of you really needed to, you both knew what you were feeling. The mixed sense of dread and grief for something you haven’t lost yet, the feeling of knowing you have to leave something wonderful behind, the mourning of time passing. He helped you to finish packing your things, and together, you both brought your luggage downstairs, just to keep it at the door for later. Part of you felt bad knowing you couldn’t give him something like he’d given you his jumper. Your clothes wouldn’t fit him, and you didn’t have much else. After a moment, it came to you, but you decided you wanted to wait to give it to him.

He went to the kitchen, starting to clean up the dishes from the past few days, some of them needing to be cleaned and some just to be put away. While he did that, you focused on cleaning up some of the trash from the living room, such as some takeout and drink containers. You also made an effort to clean up the New Year’s decorations, and if a few of the stars he’d made were slipped into your bag, you were definitely none the wiser. The cleaning was mostly a quiet affair, Wilbur’s playlist was still playing softly from a speaker. You could hear him singing along occasionally, and it warmed your heart every time. When you’d finished taking all the trash out, you walked over behind him, arms wrapping around him. He smiled, taking some bubbles from the washing liquid and putting them on your hand gently. You chuckled softly, moving your hand up to blow the bubbles off. You pulled away from him, and he turned around. He took your hand, spinning you in a circle to the music. You chuckled, and before you knew it, the two of you were dancing around the kitchen to the music. You grinned wider with each step, and he kept a hand placed on your lower back. You moved in slow circles around the kitchen, eventually coming to one place and just swaying together with the music. 

“Look at me,” he spoke softly after a minute, and you did, slowly looking up to meet his gaze. 

He smiled lovingly, just observing your face for a moment.

“What are you doing?” You spoke up.

He smiled fondly, “Making sure I’ve committed you to memory.”

You flushed, reaching up to touch his face, “I love you.”

You watched and felt as his face lit into a grin, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a way you could only describe as endearing. Every time you said those words it felt like a wave of relief washing over you. 

“I love you too,” he kissed you lovingly, that grin never leaving his face. You kissed him back, and you knew you shared a similar grin. Neither of you wanted to pull away, the sheer amount of love being shared filling the both of you up entirely.

Wilbur did eventually pull away for air. He panted quietly for a moment, still staring down at you, before taking a look around the room. The place looked like there was no trace of you or Will ever existing there. It almost felt like a movie set rather than a real place now, with a lack of life throughout the room. It was still his parent’s place, but it didn’t feel real anymore. It was honestly chilling to look at. Wilbur seemed to feel it too. 

“We’ve still got about three hours. Want to go eat out somewhere?”

You both decided to walk to the main street. It was colder today, but, hand-in-hand, neither of us really seemed to notice. There weren’t many dining places open on New Year’s Day, especially not in a small town like this, but there was one place that was pretty much always open. It was a family-run restaurant, having been run for generations before you or Wilbur were born. It was a nice place, a bit run-down, but that wasn’t exactly any different from most of the places here. The family was always kind to you and Wilbur, letting you both hide out here sometimes after school in exchange for helping them clean up. Wilbur opened the door for you, and you both walked in. The place was empty, but it still had a warm atmosphere. There was a gasp, and you both turned in the direction of the sound. Wilbur pulled his hand away from yours, almost involuntarily, but he held your hand once again when he saw the source of the gasp.

“My goodness, my eyes must deceive me!” Liza, known more correctly as Mrs. Liza by all the younger kids in town, was one of the owners. She was an older lady, probably approaching her mid-sixties now, and her husband, Albert,  was one of the owners as well, though he primarily worked in the back of house. Mrs. Liza was always especially kind to you, knowing your situation, and she even hired you for a bit in high school to help out during the busy seasons. She walked over to you and Wilbur, a wide grin on her face as she pulled you both in for hugs. 

“Hi, Mrs. Liza,” you and Wilbur both said in unison. 

“You’ve both grown so much. I can’t believe it, it’s only been four years!” You chuckled as you hugged her back, a wide smile on your face. 

She pulled Wilbur in for a hug next before pulling back to get a good look at the both of you. After a moment, she gave a knowing smile at the both of you.

“Now, would you look at this? I predicted many years ago the two of you would’ve gotten together, I knew it, I told Albert, you give those kids some time, and they’ll be together soon enough. How long have you been married?”

You flushed, and Wilbur chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck with a faint blush on his cheeks as well. “We’re not, actually. We just got together.”

She looked genuinely shocked, scoffing a bit, “What is this then? Is this your first date?”

You shook your head, still somewhat embarrassed, “We had a date last night at Wilbur’s place.”

She nodded, tutting softly, “Well, then, take a seat anywhere you’d like. We’ll make this a proper date. I’ll let Albert know the news, and he’ll prepare something extra special for you both.”

“Oh, you don’t have to–”

“Hush with that, dearie, just take a seat. We’ve got this covered.”

Wilbur looked back at you. “Back corner?”

You nodded softly. The back corner booth was always your and Wilbur’s spot back in school. The number of hours you would spend sitting there, whether you were studying or you were both ranting about how much you hated your classmates. You followed him, and sitting in that booth felt more like being home than being in your parent’s house ever did. 

“God, the conversations we’ve had here,” you hummed softly. 

He laughed, “Yeah. The number of times I’d just stare at you while you rambled on. There were so many times you would ask for my opinion on something, and I’d have to scramble for an answer because I was just so focused on how pretty you looked, especially when the sun started to set. The light would always hit your face at this perfect angle.”

You flushed softly, “How did I never notice?”

“I always made sure you were distracted,” he chuckled softly, “I’d get you started on some topic just to listen to you talk.”

“Is that why you asked me so many questions about the professors I hated?”

He laughed, “Yeah. I knew why you hated them, I just always acted like I didn’t so you’d start talking, and I could listen and admire you.”

You looked down shyly, focusing on a chipped piece of wood on the table. You still weren’t used to his compliments. 

“Is that why you’d walk me home all the time too?”

He hummed, “No. I also just like your company. As much as I’ve always crushed over you, you always were and will be my best friend first.”

You looked back up at him, a sweet smile on your face. “I know what you mean. I’ll always have loved you as my best friend before loving you as my…” you faltered. You and Wilbur hadn’t exactly put a name to what it is you’d been doing. You both seemed to consider each other as being together, but you couldn’t say exactly what it is you were. You couldn’t necessarily say he was your boyfriend, not only had that not been asked or decided, but you were leaving in under three hours, so it wasn’t like you could claim those titles. But you also couldn’t just say a friend, you were both far more than that. Even friends with benefits wasn’t correct, you guys had emotional involvements, so that wouldn’t work. Wilbur seemed just as conflicted as you, thankfully, but you didn’t have a chance to talk about it as Mrs. Liza came back with a bottle of wine and a basket of bread. 

“Just something to start you off properly. Albert is making your food right now. Wilbur, I remember you can’t taste quite well, so Albert is making sure none of the textures are ones you don’t like, alright?”

Wilbur smiled fondly at her, nodding, “thank you, really.”

She smiled happily, grabbing two wine glasses and pouring you guys both a glass. 

“This is really too kind, Mrs. Liza,” you chuckled softly.

She tutted at you, lightly flicking your forehead, “Nonsense, dearie. I’ve watched you two grow up, it’d be wrong of me to make sure you two aren’t having a wonderful time. I knew that you’d end up together at some point, I’d tell Albert every day how much you both reminded me of him and me. That’s also why this is the same wine he and I shared on our first proper date. He got me rather drunk, he did, but my goodness, it was worth it to see how much he already cared about me. A real gentleman, he is, just like you, William, I’d hope.” She chuckled softly.

Wilbur flushed, smiling appreciatively at her. “Of course. I try my best.”

She smiled happily, “Well, I’ll leave you two alone now to bond.”

She shuffled back to the kitchen with a soft smile. 

Wilbur picked up his wine glass, taking a look at the bottle for a moment, “Wow. This is… fancy. A cabernet sauvingnon, from France too.” 

You nodded, picking up my wine glass. “Guess they really believe in us.” You chuckled softly. 

He sat up a bit straighter, holding his glass up in a toast. “To our future.”

You smiled fondly, “To our future.” 

Ticktock, ticktock, ticktock.

Mrs. Liza brought out your food, some nice home-cooking style food that felt familiar to both you and Wilbur. Albert ended up coming out as well, giving you both big hugs and wishing you both the best. You both finished eating, as well as finishing the wine which was fantastic. You both went to pay, but Mrs. Liza refused to accept the payment. Even so, you and Wilbur both left about fifty pounds cash on the table for them, feeling too guilty about leaving without at least paying something.

 You walked back to Wilbur’s place, and you both were quieter as you became more and more aware that it was time. You grabbed your luggage and lifted it into Wilbur’s car, and you drove off to the train station. The drive was quiet, but you both held each other’s hands like a lifeline. 

He parked at the train station, and you checked the time. It was 8:03 P.M. exactly. The ticking felt overwhelming now, and even Wilbur’s presence wasn’t helping. Ticktockticktockticktock. You started to feel your breathing pick up a bit. Ticktockticktockticktock. You guys were early, at least.  Ticktockticktockticktock. That at least eased your anxieties about being late.  Ticktockticktockticktock. Maybe you could just sit here.  Ticktockticktockticktock. Maybe you could just stay.  Ticktockticktockticktock. Maybe you could just stay here with him and everything would be perfectly fine.  Ticktockticktockticktock.

“-ey! Hey!’ Wilbur’s voice just barely cut through the ticking. You looked over at him, but you didn’t really see him. There was a faraway look in your eyes, unable to focus on anything. He held your hand tighter, gently moving your hand to place it on his chest, giving you something more tangible and solid to feel.

“Starlight, look at me, tell me, what’s something you can see right now?”

You wanted to reply. You could see him. But you couldn’t get the words out. You tried tapping on his shoulder gently, but your fingers were already trembling to the point where he couldn’t tell. 

“Okay,” he sighed frantically, “that’s not going to work.” He started overexaggerating the slow pace of his breathing, never once taking his eyes off of you. “You’re okay, you’re in the car with just me, we’re safe, we’re just here together, relaxing.” He repeated these affirmations until your breathing was slightly more controlled. 

He tried asking again, “What’s something you can see?” 

Your words still wouldn’t come out, but you were able to tap him successfully this time. “Me? Okay, okay, tap once for yes, and twice for no, okay?” 

You tapped once. 

“Do you want a hug?”

Two taps. That would just make it harder to ground yourself.

He nodded, “Is the breathing helping?”

One tap.

He nodded again, being even more specific in his slow breathing. 

“Alright, darling, I know you can’t say it aloud, so don’t worry about that, but I want you to find two things you can hear. Tap me three times when you have.” 

His voice. Soft music came through his speaker. Three taps. 

“Alright, very good, darling, you’re doing amazing. Now, same thing this time except, other than me, find me four more things you can see.”

The steering wheel. The buttons on the car radio. The flaked leather of the center console. The small Capybara keychain on Wilbur’s keys. Three taps. 

This time, you found your voice again, “I- I think I’m good.”

Wilbur let out a relieved sigh, nodding. He didn’t stop his slow breathing, though. He gently reached over, taking your other hand and holding it gently. It took a few minutes before you really felt like you returned to yourself, and you took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” you spoke softly.

He frowned, squeezing your hand gently, “Don’t apologize. Do you want to talk about it?”

You groaned a bit but nodded. As much as you hated it, you did know talking it out would help, “I feel… like I’m about to walk the gallows.”

He gave you a look, beckoning you to elaborate.

“It’s just… ever since I woke up this morning, I’ve just heard this clock in my brain ticking faster and faster until the train. It’s just felt so overwhelming, you know? Today entirely felt like a death march all leading up to this. And now… the idea of getting on that train feels so impossible, but I know that I have to. I feel suffocated by it. The obligation and the uncertainty. I want nothing more than to just remain here with you because I’m happy with you, but I know that I’ve put so much into my education and that I’m almost done, so I can’t just abandon it all. And I feel like for all we’ve talked about, nothing was truly settled, so I just feel like I’m walking to my death, that I’m going to get on that train and everything is going to change. I won’t be able to keep up, and everything is just going to get worse.” 

He frowned, nodding quietly. He looked at a loss for words. 

He spoke after a moment, “Some things are going to change when you leave. We won’t be cuddling in my old bedroom anymore, and we won’t get to see each other every day. But nothing else has to change. I know we… haven’t really defined ‘us’, but whatever it is we’re doing, we can continue. I know you’re worried about being busy, but as long as you try, we can make it through this. As far as school, we could try and find small things to make it a bit easier. Maybe we can try and find you a better place in London. I know it won’t fix things, but it could help. You spent years here holding on for something better. You can do a year, I know you can.”

You sighed softly. You knew he was right, but fuck if it didn’t annoy you how easy it was for him to soothe 75% of your anxieties. 

 He spoke up again, speaking sardonically, “You know, it’s almost funny. You dealt with so much in this place for so long that London became an escape. Now it’s backward. Now you’re trying to use this place to escape London”

You hummed softly, letting out a chuckle, “I wouldn’t say this place is my escape.” You looked up at him, looking into his eyes.

He flushed lightly, squeezing your hand a bit tighter. You knew he understood. He always understood. 

“You’re serious that nothing has to change?”

He smiled, giving your hand a gentle kiss, “Nothing that we can control. Though, we do have to talk further about the whole Twitch thing.”

“We still have,” you checked the time. 8:23. “Like 10 minutes.”

He nodded, “Well, there’s a lot we’ll have to go into, so we can’t talk about all of it now, but… some people online are pretty invasive. They’ll try to find information out about you. If they see your face, they might try to go up to you in public or stuff. Most of them mean well, but some of them don’t realize when they’re being invasive. I’m just worried about your privacy and your safety.” 

“Wilbur, I barely have an online presence. The most they could probably do is find me in our old yearbooks.”

“I mean, we don’t know that. I’m just worried they might try and be mean to you or treat you badly.”

You smiled lightly. It was reassuring to see how much he cared about your well-being. “I understand the risks. But truthfully, I think it may be the least of our worries. They don’t know what I look like, and they don’t know my name, and they don’t know we’re romantically involved. We’re safe for now, at least, and then, later on, we can discuss letting them know and such.”

He nodded softly, gently pressing a kiss onto my hand, “Alright.”

You gently moved a bit of his hair out of his eyes, “I really don’t want to go,” you whispered with a soft sigh.

He frowned, holding your hand to his cheek, “I’d follow you if I could. The first chance I have to visit, I’ll be right there, bearing the smog and crowds.”

“You’d do all that just for me?”

“I’d deal with a lot worse for you.”

You gently stroked your thumb over his cheek, sighing shakily. “God, this fucking hurts.”

He chuckled softly, “Always a way with words.”

You rolled your eyes a bit, racking your brain for some higher-level words, “I don’t need eloquence to describe the pain of leaving you. My love is simplistic and so shall my words be. The strongest pain is that which can only be described in the most uncomplicated terminology.”

He chuckled softly, “Really putting that English degree to good use, hm?”

You laughed, lightly hitting his arm, “You dick.”

“It’s a lot of big words, that’s all,” he laughed, gently squeezing your hands, “you could be using that soon-to-be degree for some really cool things, don’t forget that.”

“I know. Trust me, I won’t forget.”

“Good. Because I will be bringing a horde of people to your graduation that you could work for.”

“Oh, god,” 

“I’ll have an entire group of people cheering just for you and embarrassing you.”

“Do not, oh, god. At least wait until after the graduation when I pack all my things and hide in your apartment for two weeks.”

He grinned at that, perking up a bit, “So, what I’m hearing is, your graduation party will be at my apartment?”

“I wasn’t planning on having one, but I guess I’ll have some free time after graduation while I search for jobs, so… if you want to hold me one, I’d much rather spend it with you than people who only care about me as an academic reference.”

He threw his arms up in celebration, cheering, “I’m going to start planning now. I’ll make it a perfect sort of homecoming celebration.”

“Homecoming?” You gave him a coy smile.

He didn’t even blush, speaking with full confidence, “You’re my home too. I’ll always celebrate you coming back to me.”

Tears welled in your eyes with those words. “Fuck,” you cursed softly, “damn you and your amazing way with words.” you leaned up, pulling him in for a long, loving kiss. 

He chuckled lightly into the kiss, but he kissed you back with just as much warmth and love. The kiss took over everything; you were barely aware of your own bones because of just how much this kiss took over your whole being.

He pulled away slowly, gently placing a hand on your cheek. He took a slow, shaky breath. He didn’t want to speak. But he had to. “Love… it’s time.”

We both got out of the car. He got my suitcase out from the trunk while you pulled your backpack on. He placed a hand on the small of your back underneath the bag, and he slowly walked us into the train station. 

“You have your ticket already?”

You nodded softly. It was in your wallet. He continued to walk to two of you to the train line, and once you were there, he stood in front of you. Neither of you knew what to do for a solid moment before Wilbur reached over, pulling you in for a tight hug. You hugged him back desperately, a shaky breath leaving you.

“Don’t- don’t go ghost on me, okay? I can’t handle losing you again.”

You nodded quickly, holding onto him tightly, “Just be patient with me. I don’t want to lose you because one of us did something stupid again.” 

 As you spoke, you leaned out of the hug to take his hand. You gently slipped a bracelet onto his wrist. It was an old one, a simple leather cord with silver beading. You wore it every day, and in school, you were convinced it gave you good luck. While you didn’t believe much in luck these days, the bracelet still meant a lot to you, and Wilbur knew that. 

He nodded as well, “Okay. I can do that.” He looked down at the bracelet, tearing up as he saw it. “You don’t have to-”

“I know,” you gently squeezed his hand, “I just want you to have something of me.” He nodded, pulling you into a tight hug once more, and his breathing seemed to be just as shaky as your own.

It was time to start getting on the train, but you were going to make every last second count. You had tears in your eyes as you pulled out of the hug just enough to look up at him.

You placed a hand on his cheek, taking a shaky sigh before speaking, “you made this the best two weeks I’ve ever had.”

The tears in my eyes began to fall, and he wasn’t far behind as he pulled you in for a desperate kiss. If the kiss earlier took over your whole being, this one took over the whole world. In this moment, he was your whole world, the only thing that mattered. Time didn’t pass in this mental void you two remained in, it was just you and him. 

It couldn’t last. You pulled apart as the deadline continued to close in. 

“I love you so, so much,” He whispered, tears falling slowly down his cheeks. 

“I love you too, Will,” you sobbed out, arms refusing to let go of him. 

“Darling, you have to go,” he reminded you, his voice cracking as he spoke. 

You nodded, weakly and reluctantly pulling away from him. He quickly leaned in to give you another loving kiss, this one much faster. 

You exchanged the final “I love you”s before you trudged onto the train.  

…

Fuck.

You felt like a cleaver had come across your neck, only leaving the tiniest part hanging on. You knew this would hurt, but openly sobbing on public transit is a new low. The only upside was that, with this being a night train, you wouldn’t be bothered as you sat in your own sadness. You went to find a seat, sitting by a window. You could see Wilbur. He seemed to be holding it together a bit better, his eyes scanning as he searched for you in the window. You already found yourself missing his smile. He made eye contact, giving you a wave. You waved back, but it felt half-hearted. Without him next to you, you could feel all the uncertainty around your relationship, and the future start to bubble back up. He said nothing would change. He said you would be visiting each other. You just didn’t know if that was true. You were busy and so was he. You have already drifted apart from every other person in your life because of your harsh schedule… how would this actually be any different? Not to say you were planning on giving up, but you had to be a realist. Something would pull you apart. You couldn’t handle any personal relationships, your classwork and actual work never gave you a moment of freedom. You weren’t going to give up, you would try, you really would. But as the train pulled away, and you and Wilbur gave each other a final wave, you left behind a kind fantasy of the only person who felt like home and headed towards uncertainty.

taglist: @shubblelive / @superioritycomplexes / @your-shifting-gurl (send an ask/dm me if you want to be added)

[tianhai03]

Hi! I was curious about your study methods for anatomy/fabric folds? What are some resources you learned from, and other artists you've looked to for inspiration/guidance? Would you be open to doing personal, non-public critiques? I love the composition of your pieces and want to learn more!

hi uhhh i am very sorry to break it to you but i rarely ever do studies that isnt just. character/facial structure studies LMAOOO i used to do anatomy studies but not as much anymore and ive never done fabric fold studies. unless you count "staring at ppl respectfully on the train/video game characters from AAA games for a long time just to figure out how certain things work" as studies i dont actually do a lot of them very often.

^ an example of facial studies ive done awhile ago of my two favorite capcom guys. i took one screenshot of them each and painted them. it helps a lot to get better at drawing them (and faces in general) bc i have to be aware of what makes them look like them; the shapes of their faces, eyes, noses, mouth, eyebrows etc etc. while realism isnt really everyone's cup of tea, it isnt mine's either, but this genuinely helps a lot. it should work with other stuff like anatomy and fabric folds. i recommend trying figure sketching too if that's something you can manage.

as for resources... i dont look at a lot of those if im being honest. i just kinda look at drawing tutorials i see on twitter or here, whenever ppl put them on my tl/dashboard. but i do suggest looking at this person's profile (@/MangaMaterials2 on twitter) if you have the time, they make a lot of anatomy tutorials. i also watch this person's speedpaints (@/remarin on youtube) very often. i actually learned my shading style from watching them, and they're also very good at anatomy.

for non-public critiques, im sorry but i cant help you with that. im very busy myself and during weekdays im not home with my drawing tablet for most of the day, and that makes it very difficult for me to help anyone with critiques. im also not that good at explaining things, especially when it comes to how i draw (because i just. kinda know how to do things subconsciously? i dont actively think abt what im doing when i draw so i dont know how to describe my process). you're better off finding someone who's better at teaching :')

thank you for your kind words!! hopefully these are helpful to you!

[bumblebeeappletree]

#ecoprint #naturaldye #bundlesecoprint

The Secret of Ecoprint Technique (Full Tutorial) Part 1 • The Secret Recipe of E...

The Secret of Ecoprint Technique (Full Tutorial) Part 2 • The Secret of Ecoprint...

So hi, im roman, FINALLY todays video id like to show you the secret recipe how i made ecoprint on fabric, how i create a beautifull print on it, a secret why and how the leave or the flower leave their shape beautifully, this is base on my exploration, maybe the weather, ph level of water and so many factor will affect the result, but you can try this recipe.

This video is maybe long, but i dont want to cut the video so i will show you every step of the process of the textile making.

Step by step :

1. Choose the best fabric/materials

2. Clean the fabric (Scouring), i have 2 ways to clean deeply the fabric (2 method)

3. Preparing the fabric (Mordanting), 2 step to make your fabric is ready to dye.

4. Selection of the plants.

5. Bundles and Steam Technique.

6. I love you.

1. Fabric / Materials

The first is the most important before you making natural dyes, selection of fabric or material, because we work on natural dyes, natural things, so make sure the fabric that u ll be use is from nature also, like linen, cotton, or maybe silk.

2. Scouring

The second, is to scoured the fabric, what is scouring means? Scouring refers to thoroughly washing or deep cleaning the fabric, to remove residue or residual chemicals on the cloth from the factory when fabric making.

This is one factor of success in achieving strong color on natural dyes, is to start with completely clean fabric. Does this mean fabric washed in washing machine? No! We think the washer gets our clothes totally clean but it honestly does not. That is why, to get a good even coverage with your dyes, it is very important that you deep clean your cellulose fabric such as cotton, linen, bamboo, or maybe silk.

For me, this is my method, i have 2 ways to scour the fabric, the first is boil the fabric on hot water with some soda ash about 20 minutes, or if you dont have a soda ash you can use any detergent, but i recomend a soda ash and TRO (Turkish Red Oil). Boil for 20 minutes and ready for the next step, but if you patient enoght i have another tips, another methos, that is leave your fabric on soda ash mix with water for about a night or a couple night, until the fabric is clean and dry it.

3. Mordant

The 3rd step, next for this step is to mordant the fabric, what is mordant means? Mordant is like to prepare your fabric for natural dyes, mordanting process make your fabric good enought to sticking the tanin (the substance in plants that produces color/natural dyes) from leaves and flower. More rich the tannins on a plant, more strong the color will be.

There is 2 step of mordanting the fabric,

Mordant First step, recipe (you can re-adjust composition) :

Aluminium Sulfate (Tawas)

Iron Sulfate (Tunjung)

Baking Soda

Vinegar

Mix all the ingredients with water

Dry the fabric.

Note : be careful with fragile fabric like silk, dont add too much recipe

Mordant Second step, recipe :

Calcium Carbonate (lime betle/kapur sirih)

Mix with water

Ready to print or you can dry it and keep for print when you need. (Make sure make it wet again the fabric before you print)

For the precise composition please follow and dm me on instagram / roman.muhtar ✨

4. Selection of Plant

More rich the tannin on a plant, more strong the color will be.

What i choose :

Hibiscus flower (Bunga sepatu)

Bidens pilosa (Dom dom an/babadotan)

Acalypha (Daun Ekor Kucing)

Vernonia (Daun Afrika)

And many more you can explore

5. Bundles Ecoprint

Here‘s tutorial • Bundle Ecoprint Tutori...

6. Thanks for watching, i love you!!!

Lets be friend

Lets be friend

/ roman.muhtar

/ romannuansa

my work https://msha.ke/boolao

[literalite]

literally just me talking about edit stuff because im in a mood

these r what i would call like my base level of ingame edits (i dont reallyyyyyy count my cas screenshots as edits unless i spend an actual amount of time actually working on them rather than my usual blur+chromatic aberration+sharpen combo) theres usually very little? or like no actual basis in the characters "canon" or lore like its just done to make them look nice. right. or like its fun lighting practise for me really. theyre usually pretty simple in execution like in the two examples there its just plain yellow background for sunny and the neon cross for vin so i have to put a little extra oomf into it because the backgrounds are like not super detailed so theres less of an "interest" factor from that so the sims themselves have to look REALLY good to make up for it. the ones i end up happy with though usually look really dynamic so it balances out

so these are more sort of abstract edits to me bc they have a basis in the oc lore or themes or whatever and most of my ocs have at least one or two visual markers (in the examples lucari or even just ari specifically gets a fair amount of celestial/sky imagery, i handled the colours here a bit sloppily but its meant to be blue and purple which are ari and luca's text colours, heiya's emphasis being on her muscles and scars and the clouded solar eclipse, redacted gets a lot of water/reflective surfaces/birds/rainbow flares?? and also lightning but that isnt being used in this specific one and sunny gets a fair amount of fire/smoke stuff as well as emphasis on primary colours like his more blue toned edits r usually in his darker stages of his life while warmer yellows means more positive stuff, red usually is just for uhhh violence oriented stuff) and like none of these are Actually happening. right. redacted isnt actually ever in that position with that era of hair in the water with the birds and sunny was set on fire at 13 not as an adult and they certainly never had a portrait of his family like that. but its symbolic, it means Something even if you as the viewer doesnt know it yet 😅 or ever aha

OKAY LOL I PRESSED POST BY ACCIDENT LOL but these are my full lore edits or something likr theyre totally rooted in the background of the ocs. like these are scenes from their lives for real. obviously i fiddle with lighting angle composition a tinyyyy bit to make for a more pleasing or dynamic image at the end but if my ocs all got dedicated like. movies or shows these would be ripped straight from the scene. i take creative liberties with some stuff but in essence these could be story posts (like the 3rd example with idris/redacted is literally in the story itself in one of the posts) the difference is usually amount of images in the post and orientation of said image/s. to me an edit stops being an edit when it has more than likeeeeee 4 images and then i will usually keep that bulk all in landscape or maybe one as portrait for emphasis. edits will be 4 or less and mostly in portrait because i want the less images to take up more room on the dash. the backgrounds for these will usually be way more complex like ill build a mini set or use existing sets for each one. i just think that ingame edits have a lot more capability than you might think (u dont have to go into blender for every little thing promise 🙌🏼) its just like. u can do a lot with this game i swearrrrrr just treat it like an art medium. im serious

ALSO the song almost always is sooo relevant to the edit i swear its not enough to sound good. i have to be unwell about it as well and it has to make sense with what im showing u

ok thats my random unrequested ted talk for the day im going to go home now bye thank u for reading if u did that 😁

[adanaac]

tierlist of my favorite color pages and stuff

gushing abt them below ⬇️

i did top 4 and not top 5 bc a lot of the 5th place for these is like a 5 way tie

Double page

ch102: what ive learned from this is i really like full scenes. cmon!! who doesnt!! also man the colors are really good. hatanaka really has a deceptively good character design, once again proving to be senseis blorbo

ch88: sorry principal color page u have been dethroned as my fav i still love u so so so much tho. love the umbrella and plum blossoms, and also obviously principal is really hot. im pretty sure i know the umbrella asset on clip studio and actually have it downloaded. also i just personally love the paper cranes bc my sona is based off paper cranes

ch60: culture fes arc has some of my favorite color pages and b&w pages and my favorite aesthetic in general really. also i owe hijita my life for proposing the chinese dress theme. haru looks so so so good in chinese clothes and the combo with hatanaka's hoodie in the underground culture fes is top tier. also my favorite non-cover color page and volume promo are from this arc too

the color palette is also so good i basically stole all the colors for that halloween art i did (still love it so much). now u might be thinking. if i have so much to say abt this one why is it only 3rd. tbh its bc this one is the oldest of the 4 so ive had more time to savor it. also i just like the principal one better than this one, and i like the hatanaka one better than the principal one. (but i dont actually necessarily like the hatanaka one better than this one?? its a rock paper scissors situation)

ch79: 2 harus. im sold 👍 also makuragaeshi arc just means everything to me also i consider this color spread a package deal with the vol 12 inside color page which makes me like both of them more

at this point the seimeiliker part of me is yelling WHATT THE 2 SEIMEI COLOR PAGES ARENT EVEN HERE??? THE AME ONE ISNT EVEN HERE??? FAKE FANNN theyre tied for 5th!!! maybe even tied for 4th!! i just really like the ones that are full scenes!!!

Single page

ch25: this one isnt getting dethroned anytime soon its just so good. the COLOR PALETTE the LIGHTING AUGH ITS SO GOOD. and of course haruaki looking sexy as always 👍 this might be one of the sexiest harus tbh. i think its also one of my favorite official arts in general i cant think of many that i would confidently say i like more than this one. ITS NOT EVEN ATTACHED TO SOME DRAMATIC CHAPTER ITS THE PTM CHAPTER LMAOOO

ch46: miki pretty privilege.... i think miki arc has my 2nd favorite aesthetic, behind culture fes. tbh i like the 2 b&w cover pages from this arc just as much as the color page (maybe bc theyre more angsty by virtue of being black and white??)

ch33: i am so married to this chapter. one of if not my number 1 fav chapter. tbh this one is tied for 2nd with the miki one, its just bc i like how colorful the miki one is. this is the only time haru gets drawn with just solid black hair and its very pretty 😳 this one is also a package deal with the 2018 october gfantasy cover in my head bc theyre both teacher trio, not really in their usual outfits, from around the same time, and gets made as merch together often

ch75: im not exactly married to this one like i am with the top 3 but its just good art good composition good colors!! its just such a... cozy and normal scene contrasted with it being a color page. (wait fuck thats what the arc was about)

u may be wondering. why are all the single page ones sort of old. this is actually bc recently all the color covers are double pages (from 76 to 102 there's 1 single page and 9 double page covers)

Cover

vol 13: aughhh seimei...... punches walls etc im so normal about it hahahahah god i love the parallel with vol 1. sensei insane for this. i have nothing else to say this cover just fucks so hard i spent days oogling it why is seimei so hot. also aughh the unused draft for it would have been so good too but the vol 1 parallel was probably the right choice....

vol 10: this one stockholm syndromed its way into being my number 2. ok not really its a really good cover everyone is rly pretty and its a very fun composition and u know i love culture fes. but also it was the thumbnail on a lot of manga sites for the longest time so it ended up being the cover i associate with yohaji in general the most, maybe even more than vol 1

vol 14: i am easily swayed by principal 👍 i see principal and i neuron activation. its so funny its like the most blantant spoiler cover

vol 9: i am also easily swayed by ebisu 👍 sensei sure loves her red and blues huh. also sano in the black shirt is really hot. can u tell i also love when theres parallels

vol 8 is tied with vol 9 tbh rintarou and ibara are so pretty

Cover flaps

i didnt do the back covers bc theyre all alright to me tbh theres not standout amazing ones that make me lose my mind. ok maybe the vol 6 and vol 8 one. i am easily swayed by seimei and ebisu

now the cover flaps on the other hand. oh ym god

vol 14: WOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK WHITE HAIR HARU WOOF WOOF THIS ONE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME......... normal harus expression is soooo good...... the mini harus...... and Him... my cat..... sobs.... tanaka mai is a cruel god how dare she pull out this design and concept for 1 chapter and we're probably never gonna see it again..... UNLESS??? (<- mentally ill) anyway heres this promo art for no real reason other than i wanted to oogle him more

v7 and v5: lumping these together bc theyre both harusanos. can u tell i love parallels. and vol 5 has the harusano handholding and vol 7 has the sano confession under the moon.... wow......

v13: i love animal trio they mean so much to me. also just look at weasel hatanaka i wanna squeeze him like a squeaky toy

Inside color page

for a while i was like "how come my fav inside color pages all seem to be from recent volumes" it turns out its bc sensei only started doing full scenes for them starting at vol 10

the vol 11 one IS really good but its up against such bangers as "has principal" or "has haru" or "has seimei" sooooo

vol 10: look this one has principal and is culture fes of course its my favorite. easiest decision in my life. i think for all these categories the top 1 spot was super easy and 2-4 could all be shuffled around. it may not make me as mentally ill as the other 3 but its straight up good art i would set this as my phone screen any day

vol 13: hi this one makes me mentally ill. its so cool it has such cool imagery and its also so inscrutable. what does it all mean. why is saturn there. this one (and also all of kyoto arc tbh) makes me want a anime so bad

vol 12: you KNOW im a sucker for makuragaeshi arc aughhhh this one makes me mentally ill in a different direction from the vol 13 one. the fact he wore a blazer uniform when he was actually in high school and him wearing a gakuran in this arc. fucks me up every time

vol 14: aughhhh...... tanaka mai is out to GET me...... i care them so much.... so so much......

5th place probably still isnt the vol 11 one LOL sorry renpapa thats gotta go to vol 6 (the one with haru in the bath)

in conclusion. i am easily swayed by haru/seimei/principal/ebisu and i will never recover from white hair haru

and also culture fes has my no. 1 favorite aesthetic and miki arc is no. 2. time travel arc will probably prove to dethrone miki arc to become number 2 but idk if itll dethrone culture fes