#like i dont think anna is really dead but STILL

[intrawebs]

Fine, I made a Boat Boys Malevolent AU

spoilers for malevolent, mainly s1

joel design not finalized, cause i dont even have a john design lol

Our Characters

Etho as Arthur Lester - Pre-season 1, Etho worked as a stuntman, he lived out of a caravan just traveling from job to job to wherever would hire him. His hair was cut short and dyed brown so he would look more like most male actors. Losing his hand is a much bigger setback for him and Joel's relationship in this AU, because I changed the situation around it to be during the Kellin encounter, so it's much more intense. Plus, Joel isn't as good at comforting as John is. I'm still working on his backstory, but I figure he won't have previously had a child like Arthur. Bdubs was his closest, and borderline only friend, and the things he discovers about him throughout the course of the story really upset Etho. He thinks what Bdubs did to him is unforgivable, but Bdubs was an amazing friend, and he's not even sure how much of that was real anymore.

Joel as John Doe - Instead of being part of the KiY, Joel is a fragment of Iod! (Iod loves to kill and torture people) His voice is doubled. He has two voices, one unnaturally low, one unnaturally high, that talk in-sync. Most of the time they are also at the sam volume, but depending on his emotions, one might become much louder than the other. He's never going to be anti-killing someone like John is, but he will learn that it's wrong. So, Joel will always want to kill people, but will learn not to act on it and why he shouldn't. This is me being on my neurodivergence advocate shit lol. He will always be more vicious and chaotic than John, but Etho is more willing to meet him in the middle than Arthur would be. Joel still chooses his name in the hospital, but instead steals it from one of their roommates - instead of having a private room, they're in a room with about five other people. The original Joel is also in a coma, and Lizzie would often talk to him just cause they were next to each other and she was lonely. Our Joel desperately yearned to join her conversations, and would often imagine himself doing so.

Gem as Kayne - I was honestly VERY proud of this casting decision. It felt like a breakthrough, she's such a perfect fit. Funny and fun but also terrifying if she wants to be, obsessed with Etho, emanates power, covered in blood. I debated changing Kayne at all, cause he's part of Cthulhu lore, but he's too important for me not to make him mesh with the rest of the changes.

Bdubs as Parker - Bdubs will be much more plot important than Parker, and much more morally gray. Instead of the book getting sent to Etho, Bdubs delivered it to him in person in a clandestine rooftop meeting place. Joel pushed him off the roof and doesn't tell Etho, even implying that Etho killed him. They find Bdubs' address from a note he left in the book. Instead of following the story of Amanda Cummings and Anna Stanczyk, Etho will be following information on Bdubs. Turns out, Bdubs hid a lot of shit from Etho! Including that he was a hardcore cultist! He did get Etho possessed on purpose, but he also genuinely deluded himself into thinking that being possessed by Iod is the best thing that can happen to a person. He may also take the role of Antoine? I'm still deciding

Pearl as Kellin - I'm going back and forth on whether or not all of Pearl's dogs are dead and she hallucinates that they're still around, or if Tilly is still alive. I'm leaning towards still alive, since the only reason for them to be hallucinations is the allusion to Kellin. Pearl's a cab driver that offers to help Etho travel for free, then does not give a shit where he's going. She takes him to her house in the woods and tries to force him to stay, as she has done with many other people before. He escapes, killing her in the process, and she leaves him with multiple stab wounds, a nasty scar across the eye, and mental health issues. Her severed head is Scott, who was her only friend left until he tried to leave her too. Pearl is incredibly lonely and obsessed with finding friends/company.

Lizzie as Lily - Lizzie doesn't have much backstory. She was a patient in the hospital at the same time that Etho was in a coma. Everyone in their room except her are coma patients, so she talks to one of the patients all the time to help with her boredom and loneliness.

Joe Hills as Marie - Joe, who is not quite a witch but is witch-adjacent, learns that his sister Quinn is possessed and gets their witch friend Cleo to try exorcising her. DOES NOT WORK! But Cleo helps as much as they can. Joe doesn't have many friends. Most people, she doesn't feel safe allowing to get close because of her gender fuckery, and often when she does they end up leaving her because of it. But they have Cleo, and Cleo makes them plenty happy. (All pronouns)

Cleo as Oscar - They're not a priest. Nor a nun! Cleo is a witch, and Joe consults them about his sister because Joe is also into witch shit. Malevolent and this AU takes place in the 1930s, and Cleo and Joe are still queer. Luckily, Cleo is big and scary, so they can threaten people into using neutral pronouns for themself. They don't care what pronouns people use for them, as long as they're gender neutral, which means they're effectively it/they. I know that's not the only gender neutral pronouns, but it's the 1930s, the rest don't exist yet in English. For the most part, Cleo does not have to threaten people for Joe, since she mostly aims to be confusing, and succeeds!

Impulse as Noel - Impulse's childhood friend Skizz was killed by an elder god, introducing Impulse to the otherworldly. He probably has some connection to Bdubs as well. It all comes back to Bdubs! haha

[walkingaftermidnight07]

Chain of Thorns: all my main thoughts

yes hello, i wanna make a large post abt this bc i just need to list everything out since i have A LOT of thoughts

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING

SERIOUSLY

DONT READ FURTHER UNLESS YOUVE READ THE BOOK

Things I Liked:

basically every moment where we got to see Will. I was laughing at so many things that Will said and I missed having that, since I will never get enough of Will's humor.

Seeing Jesse interact with the Merry Thieves. It made me so happy and I love seeing Jesse's dry humor mixed in with the Merry Thieves; he fits in with them so well.

Just human Jesse in general. Everything about him made me so happy. He was so kind and brave and quite funny.

Getting to see more of Anna/Ari. During the first book we got almost nothing of them, partially because of Ari being poisoned but also because Anna was kind of not in the main circle yet.

Christopher visiting Grace and them getting to know each other. It made me so happy that there was someone who could see past what Grace had done and could give her a second chance, and their bond over science was so sweet.

Thomastair. That's it. No explanation needed.

Ghostwriter I thought was pretty well done, but the whole "them kissing would cause Lucie to see demon stuff" was kind of unnecessary.

Jem being there for Grace and talking to her to help her through

The Watchers were a really cool plot twist I wasn't expecting

honestly the james turning on the lamp on pg 127 caused a lot of pterodactyl screeching which was fun

the Herondaisy scene in chapter 23 hehe

Effie every time she opens her mouth

Also Bridget who is my queen. she is my love, my life, my star.

Eugenia Lightwood just existing was fabulous.

Esme being the most random plot thread ever which caused a lot of unexpected laughter

"Alastair why are you so stupid I brush my teeth dont tell anyone" LMAO

Alastair with the baby

Again, Thomastair.

Matthew's eventual acceptance of Alastair into the group

Cordelia outsmarting Lilith with her deal

Belial having a weird obsession with being crowned prince of London or whatever

Also Belial's weird bird demon friend made me CACKLE

Bridgestock blackmailing Charles. if i'm honest, i think it was a great part of the plot bc it did kind of give Charles a slight redemption (but also him being kind of outted is also really bad) but i think it was great in kind of allowing Flora be able to accept Ari without fear of Maurice

Lucie and Cordelia talking abt Cordelia's boobs lmaooo/The Wicked Queen Cordelia

Grace's entire arc through this book

the different meanings behind "cordelia ran"

Things that made me sobbbb:

Will becoming a sort of father figure to Jesse

The Merry Thieves helping Matthew with his drinking

Cordelia and James when they finally confessed for real

Matthew's entire arc with his drinking and telling the truth

Christopher's death

"you are my unfinished business" IM SOBBING STILL

Christopher's death

The scene where they see that Kit's dead

Kit being dead

Intermission: Grief

the fact that kit was in fact dead and not going to come back at the end (i was in denial for the entire second half)

Matthew and James while in Edom

Thomas coming out to his family

Alastair telling Cordelia that he's always afraid for her with her being the wielder of Cortana

Again. Kit's death. (i cried a lot ok its been an emotional couple of days)

Things I didn't like:

The whole love triangle. I still don't think that Matthew truly loved Cordelia and i never believed it would be an actual love triangle

the fact that the truth about the bracelet had to be kept secret for so long. it felt kind of unnecessary. there were other ways to draw out the plot than that.

the fact that tatiana exists

Kit's death. I feel like it's so unfair that of all people, he's the one to die. it didn't feel well written, it felt like it had to happen bc she couldn't kill the queer characters and Kit was the only main character left that she COULD kill.

Grace's entire plot being kind of left without an ending.

The lack of mourning/a funeral for kit. (since we didnt get enough mourning, i think im going to write it bc i want to suffer for the purpose of completing the loose ends)

the pacing. the entire plot felt so oddly paced, and it wasn't as much of a mystery like choi or chog.

again, why christopher? i feel like matthew would've been a better choice, or perhaps sona.

magnus kind of getting written out so early

though i love our gay couples and their accepting families, it is a little bit unrealistic. i get that the point is that this particular batch of the families are very kind people in comparison to what their families become a little farther down the road(ie Robert, maryse, etc), but it still feels a little bit unrealistic.

i felt like the whole lucie and cordelia struggling with their friendship thing was a little bit too much to add into this already very full book. (although i loved the wicked cordelia reveal that was fun)

i feel like we didn't fully get the wrap up at the end that we needed. we didn't see enough of them after the battle, as they came to terms with their losses and their wins and how they would continue their lives.

also we never really got to see jesse meeting his cousins/aunts and uncles and i wish we'd gotten that.

Questions I still have:

bridget? whats going on with her? theres a throwaway line in the coda mentioning something is odd abt her, but thats it??

grace. what is going to happen to grace? i wish we could perhaps see her and figure out if she's alright.

im still confused abt the lightwood line. i guess they're trying to say that alexander is going to continue it? (that actually kind of makes sense, genetics wise tho, cuz alexander looks like cecily and alec and izzy are supposed to inherit that)

will we ever get a revised family tree?

blackthorn line???

Rupert's ghost?

fairchild line? am i correct to assume that its going to tie into charlotte's pregnancy reveal at the end?

I'm sure I have more thoughts but I can't remember them at this present moment and I didn't write them down but these are all the ones I wrote down.

lmk what y'all think abt this book

[im-out-of-it]

“There was a great deal about how angry the Council had been when they’d realized Anna and the others he remained behind in London, which did not bother Anna, and that aunt Tessa and uncle Will had cried when they realized James and Lucie were trapped in london, which did.”

so let me get this straight then. it doesn’t bother Anna that her friends stayed around and that the council is mad but it does bother her that Will and Tessa are worried about James and Lucie? yeah because it’s not like you had a brother Anna and it’s not like you watched him die and held him in your arms

so don’t worry about getting the news back to your parents and your other uncle and aunt because the only ones who matter are Tessa and Will apparently. I DONT CARE IF WILL AND TESSA ARE SAD ABOUT THEIR CHILDREN. they have ignored them for most of the series anyways and are the worst parents

like how can she go from “stone faced: Kit is dead, to silently grieving (which doesn’t seem like Anna) to blaming his death on belial, and now being sad for Will and Tessa. I know in CC’s mind, all she cares about is Tessa and Will but A MAN FUCKING DIED OK?

I get they have a war on their hands but is it that impossible and difficult to be like James and Lucie are fine but Christopher died during all this by Tatiana. the writing has always been lazy but this is one of the sloppiest deaths I have read. (I mean Robert Lightwood doesn’t get grieved that much since it’s more about the TDA kids unless you’re jace and clary) and at least Barbara got some touching moments but they act as though Christopher never existed

it makes me sick and sad to not hear anyone speak of him. I’m not saying it needs to be mentioned 24/7 but HE WAS HERE AND KIT MATTERED. STOP KILLING OFF PEOPLE AND THEN ACTING AS THOUGH THEY DIDNT EXIST OR MAKE AN IMPACT. if it’s someone who wasn’t there long or a villain who deserved it, move on (cause grieving sebastien/Johnathon was wild as fuck) I t’s selfish, insensitive, and downright disgusting to treat Christopher this way.

the fact this whole little part is still about Will and Tessa is insane. this is supposed to be the spin off to TID. I know I’ve wrote about wanting more Gabriel and Gideon bonding time but that’s more of wanting to see Thomas, Christopher and how they’re being raised. because I truly feel that Gideon and Gabriel would be the greatest parents. this is why CC can’t manage spin offs. same thing happened in TDA. she went and made the whole thing about jace and clary because devil forbid if the story isn’t about them

this was another great instance of including Kit. I don’t care about Will and Tessa. I don’t care if they’re crying and then having sex because of their grief. I don’t care if they die (please kill them both) or they get injured, I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!

the fact that Eugenia is going on about Tessa and Will being innocent of knowing about belial while in the middle of this, mostly everyone is kicked out of london. I would think a prince of hell entering london is more important than the people who have ties to that prince of hell. like she really made that the focus instead of the actual war they have and an actual family member who died. maybe they don’t know what’s happened but they have to have some sort of idea by now.

I’m tired or CC using every ounce she can get on the storylines and making it about the herondales. she may as well stop creating great characters if she wants to focus on the blandest, most toxic herondales. it’s basically what she did with TMI. she excluded the best characters just to feature jace and clary.

CHRISTOPHER DESERVED BETTER

[nihils-trolls]

The following conversation has been translated into Alternian Standard for the sake of the reader's convenience. Typing quirks have also been translated over.

-- penumbralSculker [PS] began trolling lachrymoseDreamer [LD] --

PS: _elaiiiiinnnneeee_

PS: _girl. this is the third ti-m-e ive tried reaching out_

PS: _you -w-ere supposed to call -m-e like a -w-eek and a half ago. you pro-m-ised :(_

PS: _are you dead over there or so-m-ething? i s-w-ear if i gotta get on a ship headed that -w-ay. i -w-ill_

LD: No, no I'm alive, I'm zorry.

LD: Thingz have been rough here, that'z all. I didn't mean to make you worry.

PS: _sacré dieux el. -w-hat -w-as i supposed to think? -m-y bestie -w-ho doesn't ever -m-iss anything suddenly isn't available for several nights on end_

PS: _-w-hatever. i-m- past it already -3-_

LD: I'm zorry. I just don't want to talk about what happened right now. I'm ztill trying to figure thingz out.

PS: _youre gonna at least tell me -w-hat happened right_

PS: _oh_

PS: _aïe, -w-as it that bad?_

PS: _i guess you dont have to tell -m-e. not no-w- any-w-ay. but i still -w-anna know how youre doing. call -m-e -w-hen you have ti-m-e tonight, ok?_

LD: .. You're not buzy? Don't you have work?

PS: _no. so you better actually call. don't -m-ake -me- co-m-e over there_

LD: You and I both know you can't afford to drop money on a zhip ticket for a zurprize vizit, Ztrala.

LD: I'm okay!! Really.

LD: I'll call you after dinner, alright? Zo wait up for me.

PS: _-3- fine. i a-w-ait hearing your lovely voice~_

-- penumbralSculker [PS] ceased trolling lachrymoseDreamer [LD] --

[alivehouse]

(While sending this ask I've accidentally found out what cool wallpapers (literally) you have on your desktop blog theme.)

Well, good day, my dearest horror podcast Virgil,

I, surprisingly to myself, actually finished "I am in Eskew" and enjoyed it quite a bit (which, I guess, could have been deduced by how much I spammed in the tag) even more surprisingly, considering I'm absolutely not a horror person - I substitute horror movies with their wikipedia retellings. Unironically.

Anyway, firstly, thank you! I definitely would have never discovered it without your recommendations!

Secondly, maybe you have something else like that stashed up your sleeve? I definitely need some time to recuperate, but I would like to explore more cool podcasts. (The only two limitations: short-ish - not much longer than this one, the view of a hundred+ episodes scares me; not gorier than this one/no actual jump scares - again, I'm a scardicat.) I remember you talking about "Mabel Podcast" and at the first glance it seems neat, but I'd like to hear your comments on it first.

Thanks in advance. :)

(thank you! its a william morris thing i edited a little lol) glad you liked eskew! its been fun seeing your thoughts on it popping up in the tag, not spammy at all.

i do want to mention that the creator of eskew also has another podcast called The Silt Verses, personally i havent listened to it for weird brain reasons so not sure how well it fits your criteria but ive heard its also very good

mabel podcast is another favorite! the creators of mabel and the creator of i am in eskew were both inspired by shirley jackson's the haunting of hill house to an extent iirc, so even though the stories are very different some elements of them have a similar 'feel' to them imo. i will say that mabel is very different stylistically though (especially the earlier episodes) which in my experience people seem to either love or hate. whereas in eskew you get a pretty continuous narration from david or riyo, in mabel youre mostly listening in on a series of somewhat disjointed voicemail messages. id definitely recommend at least giving the first few episodes a go, dont get discouraged if you dont feel like you dont understand whats happening right away. all you really need to know about the story going in is that youre following Anna, whos a live-in carer for an old woman named Sally. Anna is trying to contact Sallys next of kin (the titular Mabel), but shes strangely out of reach.

ok i know you said youre not a huge horror person but if you ever are feeling a little more daring id suggest trying out The White Vault. theres a small amount of gore (descriptions of finding hearts and teeth) and some uh. wet ripping sounds in it but its really not that bad all things considered, just know that it is straight horror though. its a found footage podcast that follows a group of people whove been hired to check out a remote outpost in northern norway thats gone dead, but a storm leaves them stranded there, and as time goes on it becomes clear that they arent exactly alone. this ones a little longer i think, but tbh ive only listened to the first two seasons, it felt like a natural place for the story to end to me

and then on the complete opposite side of the spooky podcast spectrum, if you want something thats a ghost story but really not horror at all imo, i just finished listening to Midnight Radio a few weeks back. this ones *really* short, like 10 episodes that are ~20 minutes each short, so its definitely lower commitment. in this one youre listening in on a radio show hosted by Sibyl, who died decades earlier but can still be heard waxing poetic about her hometown in the dead of night.

ok LAST ONE havent finished it so wasnt sure if i should rec it but a lot of people on my dash hype up Archive 81 so i thought id mention it at least. guy is hired to listen through a bunch of creepy tapes in some archive out in the middle of no where. classic horror podcast stuff. similar to eskew in that it pivots from mostly being mostly anthology into an overarching plot as you go on

[nin-jay-go]

liveblogging dragons rising

all thoughts under the cut!

this is so pretty so far

oh this is a lesbian. kreel is like if the mad hatter was a lesbian

LOBBO IS MY NEW FAVORITE CHARACTER

"i'm going to kill your whole family" GOOD LIRD THIS IS DARK

"I THINK I MADE A BOMB" JSHFKJSKDJF

"elemental powers are complicated" yea dude they sure are

THEYRE BROTHERS YOUR HONOR

oh why is it RAIyu and not REEyu. i thought they were riffing off the japanese word for dragon for his name (ryuu)

lobbo my BEST FRIEND

oh THATS why cole's memorial thing was in the trailer. i see.

is this dorama guy here to . here to c. here to cause drama

(he's so fun actually i like him)

Oh What The Fuck

oh shit the showman is coming back?? excited

kai is fuckin dead

SCIENTIST LADY 😳😳😳😳😳😳

oh wait. if all imperium ppl have those markings, is this like the secret markings humans have? but visible? bc that'd be cool

my friend: [the cragling mud] looks like their eyes. i don't like that.

buddy why are you excited to eat mud...... buddy........... arin.....

sometimes i can still hear his voice 😔😔😔

dragon = nuke

THE CLOUD FUCKING KINGDOM ARE YOU KIDDING ME

thats a fucking mindflayer. what the fuck.

WHAT

THE NEW MASTER OF WIND??????? IS A CLOUD KINGDOM MONK??????? HUHHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK

i hate the cloud kingdom. whyyyyy is it the way that it is

my friend: it is interesting that the cloud kingdom is confirmed to be full of shit

WHAT IS THIS BOOKWORM LITTLE THING. I LOVE THEM CAN I HAVE TWENTY

alright time to see this so-called wind master

why does she sound like a self-insert 😭

EUPHRASIA?!?!?!!?!!!??!!?!?!?!?

*insert the crying of everyone with a morro lives / morro redemption au*

(like its fine for canon but alterline is weeping)

me: [the wolf] is a hologram with mass! my friend: that means it matters :)

sora has protagonist hair jdkfhgkjdfgkjh

oh!!! the imperium markings come in with age :0 or maybe they're a rank thing idk yet

ohhhhh the scientist lady (dr larrow?) is her role model :0 [this is the point where i lost subtitles lol]

did those kids call sora anna?

WOMANNNNNNNN

"sora? the ancient imperium word for orphan?" HELLO??????

me: i want to kiss [larrow] on the mouth my friend: why do you want to go for the villain me: she's hot my friend: women in stem!

BRO SHE JUST GOT DISOWNED. JESUS CHRIST.

dr. lampshade floorpanel and dr doyll donmagar.......

lloyd: what's the shaming floor my friend: twitter sora: its a livestream me: so its twitch

i forgot to write this down but arin is the new master of SPIN

PERCIVAL TARTIGRADE

STOP DEADNAMING SORA LET HER BE NONBINARY

get flashbanged idiots

oh!!!! wildfire was raised by dragons!!! thats so fun

what is happening- OH WILDFIRE

friend: do you remember atla? the dragons

why is wu's ghost haunting the monastery my friend: its a wu-o-wisp!

TINY LLOYD WITH SAM VINCENT'S VOICE IS SO FUNNY JKHGSFKDSKDJH really couldn't get jillian michaels

OH AND THE S10 GI ON A BABY LLOYD LMAOOOOO

"this looks like a monastery!" no the fuck it doesn't you're in an underground Chamber

DONT LET THE FUCKING GOLDEN WEAPONS REPEAT

sora: i can't use my true potential my friend: then use your fake potential

mmmmm beatrix hot woman :]

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS CELESTIA, PRINCESS OF EQUESTRIA my friend: i wanna see someone overlay this dialogue on top of footage of celestia

MEANERY

they're seriously gonna torture a BABY DRAGON?????

hehehe ras ear twitch :3

LLOYD HAS A CONCUSSION

THE GHOST OF MASTER WU

ZANE IS IN THE FUCKING EGG????

ZANE WAS IN CRYO??????

WHERE ARE JAY COLE AND PIX. WHERE ARE THEY

my friend, in response to sora's name reveal: we named the dog indiana

me: jay and cole are off on their honeymoon my friend: they're in the bahamas

"there can't be two elemental masters of fire! it doesn't make sense! also its rude!"

THE IMPOSSIBLE KID

STOP DEADNAMING HERRRRRRRR

miss beatrix can i kiss you on the mouth

i warned you about those stairs bro :y

THE DRAGON TALKS?????? and why does it sound like unagami

OH HES BIG

a conduit?????? changed forever????? 👀👀👀👀

he gettin ZOOMED

me and my friend: DID LLOYD DIE??? AGAIN????

now lloyd and arin BOTH have concussions!

oh he glowin

your holograms appear to be glitching maam

I WARNED YOU ABOUT THOSE STAIRS BRO :y

rapton is very pathetic

LLOYD'S WAR FLASHBACKS OH NO

lloyd voice i'm adopting you arin

OOP RAS IS CAPTURED. THIS IS ANTI-FURRY

oh. she has a mech.

so that means the weird green ghosty guy (and jay/cole/pix) are in season 2 :0 i'm so excitedddddd

final thoughts this was cool as shit. i loved this very much. ouoUOAUOAUAOAUOU

[andromerot]

i cant sleep... lets go on with the liveblogging. ep2 beloved

episode two, really red. in which someone gets angry

i really do love mabels voicemail message so much. customer service voice

to let the world know that i died for love..ok

shes so parasocial but the best part about it is shes actually not

its so funny to me. mabel is, arguably, somewhat, dead in a ditch somewhere

YOU HEAR ME SO I KNOW IM REAL. dies and kills

annas Things with reality hit so much while quarantining they really did. it was so much.

ive always wondered so much about this part. first of all, what is she talking about? i always kind of got the impression it was a bird. was it tressa? was it the dead baby crow from later in this episode? secondly, who is recording this? i don't think this is annas voicemails at all. for a while ive had a theory that the house/hill is the one listening in on everything and weaving a story together, which kind of falls apart if you consider episode eleven and a big chunk of season seven, but which is still interesting to consider. i just dont know what this is all about.

SHES SO OBSESSED. i get her

mabel doesnt have to watch anyone die mabel doesnt have to take responsibility for anything...

sallys ambassador complaining about deforestation dream is so funny. ambassador for who mrs martin!!! like she is SO haunted by the faeries imagine what it must have been living there all her life, always reachable by them, always reached by the house...

everything will be the same until something changes another point for the timeloop girlies

THE HOUSE IS WAITING!

THE DREAM UGHHHH i do believe this is luna but of course the boundaries between luna and mabel are at this point sort of meaningless. and like. her letting mabel back into her head...also "i dont think our dreams really mean anything there's too much white nose in our heads" is soo her like subconsciously removing guilt from herself. love you anna

can you guys believe they werent written to be romantic until like episode seven or something. i cant!

shes soooo gothicheroine.......

THIS IS SO FUCKING. UGH!!!!!!!!!! making her an accomplice making her culpable...

anna limon asmr

"this is as much your fault as it is mine. i hope you know that. you might not be here, but... you're here, you're in this with me. THIS IS YOUR STORY TOO EVEN IF YOU WONT ADMIT IT!!!!"

[urlocallesbiabs-reblog-sideblog]

(tags via @penny-anna + my replies)

#dont agree w all of this just on like a headcanon level

#but yeah no its so weird

#its just?? framed so weirdly??

ah, i probably have misunderstood/extrapolated wrong. (still, you're fun to disagree/have a discussion with! i like your posts in general, and your questions here in particular :3) if you're asking "what the hell were grant naylor thinking", then my personal answer is much simpler: i have no fucking idea. this show is WEIRD, it has no factual NOR emotional continuity, it does whatever the fuck ever and the only thing left for me to do is Desperately Cope. there are ways to bend it into a good tragedy, there are weird things to be criticised and cut out to make it into a comedy that isn't quite so much whiplash-worthy, and there's always the "close your eyes and don't think about it" strategy that i suppose most of the og casual audience employed. but yeah, it is a Viscerally Weird goddamn show, i'm fully with you on this one

#like conceptually im into it

#and i have sympathy for the OG ace tbph

#do you think this was his intention

#how do u think he'd feel about those thousands upon thousands of dead rimmers

#i can't imagine that when he chose another rimmer to be his successor that he thought it would come to this

i'll be honest, this makes me reconsider some of my word choices i didn't pay close enough attention to. to me "ace rimmer the actual human guy from an actual parallel universe" and "ace rimmer the legacy, the role, the expectation" are two different things (can't believe i forgot about that, when in an au of mine they're explicitly translated into two separate characters) — and usually when reading or talking about ace rimmer, i automatically understand/mean that as The Legacy, and rarely stop to think abut The Guy. i don't really hate the guy! actually i think him as the first victim to the legacy. it got him, the expectation to be strong, to be heroic, to sacrifice his life (which he did); and then it got many others. i think no rimmer is capable of sustainably being ace, not even the og one, which is proven by him dying fairly young. as for the question how would he feel about the graveyard ring — it's a tough one for me! i don't think he's cruel, i don't think he wanted quite that many human deaths, that's the baseline. but i just haven't thought about him enough to be able to form an opinion on whether he hated himself enough to think that thousands of deaths of other versions of him were an acceptable sacrifice for the wellbeing of spacetime continuum. it certainly wasn't his plan, though — i don't take him for an evil mastermind, just a rimmer for whom the desperation for attention and acceptance at some point outweighed his fear. like, i don't actually think there's a version of rimmer that's unmarred by trauma and suffering: for our rimmer, self-care has corrupted into awful cowardice, and for ace rimmer the guy, heroism is a not-so-healthy attempt to earn affection from others. all poor sods, the bunch of thems, at least according to my personal headcanons

#anyway. extra weird bcos in the emohawk episode (which im not actually a fan of) #rimmer-as-ace's drive to sacrifice himself to save the crew was treated (correctly) as u know. Bad

#not to start taking the space comedy show too seriously but how many rimmers do u think died unnecessary deaths bcos their first instinct #was to die to save other people

#anyway!!!!!!

"how many rimmers do u think died unnecessary deaths" — MANY!!! so many it's scary!! that's what the ace-as-legacy thing is about for me — rimmer's unnecessary sacrifice of life!

"not to start taking rd too seriously" — unfortunately i have made a hobby of choosing to engage with this clusterfuck of a show as if it was an earnest sci-fi tragedy, because i needed to wrap my head around it Somehow, and it does propose some truly *fascinating* concepts (just never explores them) (well and Also it has hilarious jokes, there's where the half of my enjoyment comes from, but those i cannot write pretentious analysis posts about it, and i love making pretentious posts)

i had fun writing out all that, ty :3

red dwarf is a very very silly show n its best not to take anything that happens in it seriously like at all. that said the framing on the whole rimmer becomes ace rimmer subplot is genuinely bizarre??

[kennnnnnna]

ncis: wlw main character on the down low

ncis nola: wlw main character mostly open about it

ncis hawaii: wlw main character very open about it

ncis la: wlw main villain that is fueled mostly by the fact that she was dumped for a man, pretending to kill off a bi character mere minutes after directly stating she is bi? 👁️👄👁️

[psianabel]

complete jumbled thoughts about Dark Road because holy fuck: Spoilers for like literally everything.

holy shit holy shit holy shit ok so, getting this out of my way,

I'm eating well with Xehanort being a Blueblood LMAO. Called it, love it. The sheer irony of him being a child of destiny and us knowing how his story ends up - delicious.

So many parallels you can draw between Xehanort - Eraqus and Sora - Riku here. In the end Sora is the one who Xehanort should have become and just, goddamn. I'm still on the path of thinking MoM is the reason why this didn't happen, pushing him further into the darkness (talking about love and its false light. man.), then Eraqus leaving him alone and as such, the balance between them destroyed (just as Baldr and his sister),

Baldr eh. Just holy fuck. So i guess he did bring Ragnarok... just not how we expected it to end up lol. Poor boy, oh man. Just. oh man. Oh man.

Bragi hfkdjdodjfofjg GIVE IT UP FOR LUXU REVEAL THREE, congratz to the people who called it episode one, i wasnt one of them lmao jfidjdodg. For me its fucking hilarious now honestly. Luxu please get vessels with not so similar names.

I fucking screamed when Odin summoned Master’s Defender and then called No Name forth, I AM EATING WELL, THESE TWO KEYBLADES MAN. MAN !!!!!! Also extremly interesting how No Name's nature is known, and mannnnnnn him retiring and giving these two keyblades his last two pupils im fucking. h.

KH game with the highest death toll i guess LOL (excluding UX with the keyblade war), my heart already hurt when Hoder died and then THE DEATH DIDNT STOP LIKE HELLO, i actually had to stand up and take a deep breath when Hermod and Urd died like WTF MAN god god god god goodbye i liked u a lot :(

Xehanort having Hoder in his heart got me a lot, just. man. man. There is this small interaction after they are fighting Vidar and Baldr shows up, Xehanort clutches his chest - because Hoder is reacting to Baldr....... its so similar to Sora with Anna and Elsa in KH3 ...... wahhhhhh..... delicious.... just,,, Xehanort and its connections to other people. MAN..

This whole thing with the true Lights is so INTERESTING. Like, they are objects ???? before the Princesses of Heart were a thing... thats so good.

Still wrapping my head around with that summoning of Kingdom Hearts. And ... killing 13 lights for that. god Baldr was so close and it was so so cruel my god. SEEING THEM ALL DIE WAS SO. NAH MAN. NAH. like YEAH WE KNEW THEY WERE ABOUT TO DIE BUT FUCK.

Their names are all soooo interesting. Not going through them all, i just have to mention the heartless that is the final boss has the name of Baldur's ship that carries his dead body in the Norse mythology....... just. oh.

so. the "secret ending". Im fucking yelling at the fact Blue Robe is KHML Player with UX Player reincarnated. just. THIS IS THE PLOT I HAD PREPARED FOR MY PLAYER HELP THIS IS FUCKING FANTASTIC FJDKDBDKFJG also no Player - Xehanort anymore which im, ah well, but Still they have a close connection which is enough for me now i guess -

Baby Xehanort calling Lauriam a skinny boy with pink hair had me laughing so much. like TRUE but dont come for my boy like this ahsjshdodjdkf. I'm kinda :worry: about Skuld's involvement for Xehanort's Mom as i dont really want her .... to have stayed behind ..... but for me to truly accept that I have to see it in ML myself. Still holding onto Subject X, but man,,,,,, Nomura why.

Xehanort saying he wants to have 14 lifetimes has me so c: I really wish for Young Xehanort to return. He should live a life that belongs to him .... i hope he gets to see that. I really want him to hang out with the Guardians of Light...

The whole Underworld thing is going to be so interesting in KH4, because they essentially did the same thing here like Donald and Goofy are trying?? At least we know now that the Underworld is like, universal, for KH worlds. I hope we get to see the upper classmen in some form again. 

This game is an emotional rollercoaster that definitely would have worked better if they released these episodes... episodic. This whole ending was Such an Experience.

Just holy crap I am excited for Missing Link.

My mind is mush. I'm dead tired. What a phenomenal experience.

Missing Link, you have so much explaining to do. And goddamn im in for this ride.

[leossmoonn]

can i request a fic with stefan where the reader loses her memories (like stefan did in s5) so stefan takes her out to all the places that are special to their relationship and he tells her all about how they used to date and how she loved him and all and then at the end she kisses him ❤️

if not that's okay! have a good day and make sure to drink some water ❤️❤️

okay ill be honest i dont remember anything of tvd from season 4 and on bc it was just so boring to me but YES I CAN DK THIS. and thank you! i hope you have a good day, and hydrate too <33 mwah!

masterlist

warnings / includes - mild language, crying, sad stefan, kissing, eating and food, talk about sex. oh and youre a vampire and grew up w stefan and damon :)) and you’ve been dating stefan ever since you two turned into vampires and you two have been married for 50 years! (yay) . not really edited

————

“can’t you just do your voodoo magic and fix her?”

“that’s not how it works, damon.”

“well, it works whenever elena needs it. just admit it, you don’t like y/n.”

“i do! this is just more complicated -”

“bullshit! i know you don’t know her very well, but we’ve known her since she was born. she’s my best friend and the love of my brother’s life, who, by the way, is about to go into a frenzy if you don’t fix her!”

“i’m trying! but whatever those traveler’s did, i don’t think i can reverse it.”

“argh!” damon growled, putting his hands under a table and ripping it up.

“okay, you need to calm down,” bonnie said. “throwing a fit won’t help.”

“well, i can’t just stand here and watch her die!”

“she’s not dying, she’s just asleep. the doctor said she will wake up soon.”

“oh, as if the doctor knows anything,” damon muttered.

“she actually knows a lot, and we’ll give her the treatments the doctor recommends before we try any magic.”

damon sighed, running his hands over his face. he looked over to you, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. he walked over to you, holding your hand in his.

“please wake up, y/n. please.”

it seemed as damon’s wishes were granted. your eyes fluttered open, a soft groan filled your throat as you tried to move your head back and forth. you peered at bonnie and damon, brows furrowing.

“who are you? and why-why are you holding my hand? get away from me!” you hissed, barring your fangs.

“well, she definitely knows she a vampire,” damon muttered.

bonnie ignored him, coming over to you tentatively. “hey, y/n. do you know who i am?”

“no. i-i want to go home. where am i? why-why does this look so strange? hospitals at home don’t look like this,” you gasped as you looked around your room.

“is she still stuck in the 1800s?” bonnie asked.

“let’s see. uh, y/n, what’s the date?” damon asked.

“1866, right?” you guessed.

“oh, shit,” damon muttered.

“what’s wrong?” you frowned. “y/n, you’re in the 21st century. it’s 2013,” bonnie explained.

your eyes bugged out of your head. “what? how-how can this be? you’re lying! you’re some witch! katherine warned me that you would try to trick me. who are you with? wha-what do you want from me?!”

“okay, crazy pants,” damon sighed. “do you know who i am?” he asked.

you took a good, hard look. “you look familiar… like you’re from a dream.”

“good, good, but do you know my name?”

your brain scrambled for the answer, but it all came up was blank.

“no, i’m sorry.”

“well, crap,” damon muttered. “what if we get stefan? he’s been her boyfriend for like, a hundred and fifty years. plus, they’ve been married for 50. she’s got to remember him,” bonnie suggested.

“yeah, okay,” damon nodded. “go and get him. i’ll stay with her.”

“why don’t i stay with her, and you go get stefan. you might irritate her enough to make her snap your neck,” bonnie snorted.

“fine. i’ll be back in a second. try to use your powers on her,” damon asked.

“no. now go,” bonnie shooed away damon.

he left, zooming through the halls to go and find his brother. meanwhile, bonnie went to sit next to you, taking your hand in hers.

“what are you doing. i said don’t touch me,” you hissed.

“what is your name?” bonnie asked.

“y/n,” you said. “what’s your full name?” she asked.

“y/n l/n,” you answered. “why are you asking me this? do you think i do not know my name?”

“no, no. i just…” bonnie sighed. “what’s your mother’s name?”

“louise,” you said. “and your father’s?” bonnie asked.

“martin. and before you ask, my sister and brother’s names are anna and christopher. are you studying me or something? oh, my… i-i swear i’m not dangerous. i don’t feed on people. not usually, anyways. please, spare me. if you want a real vampire, catch katherine pierce. her real name is katerina petrova. or klaus mikaelson, his whole family needs to be killed. please, i -”

“i’m not going to kill you. no one is going to kill you. and katherine is already dead,” bonnie explained.

“oh, really? well, then ignore what i said about her."

bonnie smiled a little. “it’s alright. do you remember anything that’s happened in the last 24 hours?”

“no, i’m sorry. i must ask again, where am i?” you questioned.

“well, you’re in 2013. about one hundred and forty-nine years from when you were turned into a vampire. that man who was here is damon salvatore. he’s been your best friend ever since you were born. you grew up together, and he turned you into a vampire. i’m bonnie bennett. i am… i have a sort of friendship with damon. i’m a witch from the bennett line. i am here to help you. we’re friends, too, actually.”

“oh,” you pursed your lips. “i’m sorry i don’t remember you. i think i remember one of your family members, though… emma, ella, em-”

“emily, yeah,” bonnie smiled. “well, it’s good to know i’m in good company,” you sighed.

“yes, you are. oh, and there’s one more person i forgot to mention. he’s damon’s brother, stefan. he’s your -”

“y/n!”

your head snapped to the door. a handsome young man stepped into the room, worrying filing his features.

“hello?” you frowned.

“it’s me, stefan. you’re husband,” the man said.

your eyes widened. “i-i- excuse me? my husband? i didn’t know i was-” your breath hitched as you saw the ring on your finger. it was a beautiful silver ring with a blue jewel in the middle, stefan and your name carved in the middle of it.

“oh,” you gasped.

“do you remember me?” he asked, coming closer to you.

you looked back up at him, furrowing your brows as you tried to remember. you shook your head in disappointment. “no, i’m sorry. i wish i could. what happened to me that i can’t remember my own husband?"

“travelers took your memory,” bonnie answered. “travelers? l-like the evil witches?” you guessed.

“yes, precisely,” bonnie nodded.

“well, can you get back my memories? you’re a witch, right?” you asked her.

“exactly! that’s what i was saying. i’m so glad someone gets it!” damon exclaimed.

“i-i’m sorry, who are you again?” you frowned. “damon. i’m damon salvatore. the best salvatore, and your best friend,” he grinned.

“oh, right - damon. and you’re uh, you’re bonnie, correct?” you turned to the brunette.

“i am,” bonnie nodded.

“and you’re…“ you turned to stefan.

hope was shining in his dazzling green eyes. his lips were pulled into a frown, his brows furrowed as tears clouded his eyes.

“you’re stefan! my, uh, my husband whom i can’t remember. i’m so sorry, again.”

“it’s okay,” he sighed. “you just woke up. you’ll probably remember later.”

“yes,” you nodded, “that’s probably it.”

just then, the doctor came in. she checked you out, telling you that you had to stay in the hospital one more night before you could be discharged. after she left, damon, bonnie, and stefan made up a plan.

“i can’t just put her memories back. i don’t have any access to them,” bonnie said.

“can’t you just pull them out of the air or something?” damon asked.

“magic doesn’t work like that, damon,” bonnie glared.

“what if we take her to all her favorite places? places she’s been to lots of times,” stefan suggested.

“yes! that is a great idea, except for the fact that she thinks she’s in the 1800s and most things that were there have been torn down or rebuilt!” damon seethed.

“well, then what else are we supposed to do, damon! we can’t just sit here and hope that her memories will come back. what if they never do!” stefan yelled.

“shut up you two! you’re scaring her!” bonnie hit both of them, then pointing to you.

both of the salvatore’s face softened as they saw your eyes wide with fear.

“look, she doesn’t know you two yet. she doesn’t trust you two. she literally thought we were going to capture her for being a vampire. we need to just take it easy and gain her trust, which won’t be hard, i hope. but i think that stefan’s idea is great. and stefan, you should be the one to do it. you deserve to build the strongest bond with her and to spend the most time with her,” bonnie explained.

stefan smiled at her gratefully. “thank you, bonnie.”

“of course, stefan,” she smiled back at him.

“what about me! i was her friend before you were even born!” damon poked stefan.

“she was literally a baby, damon. she didn’t even know who you were,” stefan scoffed.

“oh, she did. and she loved playing peek-a-boo with me,” damon huffed.

“well, i’ve been her actual best friend just a few months after she was born. you’ve been like the brother she’s never had,” stefan stated.

“same difference.” damon rolled his eyes.

“b-bonnie?” you stammered.

“yeah, what do you need?” bonnie came over to you immediately.

“um, i need to use the bathroom.” you whispered.

“oh, yeah, of course. gentlemen, please exit the room.” bonnie said to the two men.

“alright. hey, y/n, you hungry? we can get you something to eat,” damon asked.

“yes. i’m famished, honestly. um, can i have some meatloaf, please? with some wine?” you requested.

“um, y/n, i’m afraid to inform you that -” damon started, but stefan cut him off.

“we’ll see what we can find,” stefan said.

“thank you… stefan, was it?” you guessed.

“yeah. it’s stefan,” he smiled. “okay, c’mon, lover boy. the lady needs to use the restroom,” damon grabbed stefan, dragging him out of your room and shutting the door.

bonnie then helped you out of the bed and into the restroom, waiting behind the door until you called for help.

“thank you so much. your kindness is very much appreciated.” you smiled at her as she helped you back to bed.

“it’s not a problem.” bonnie sighed with a smile.

“will you be able to get my memories back?” you asked.

“um… no. not right now, i’m sorry,” bonnie frowned.

“oh, well, it’s alright. maybe it’s for the better. i can’t imagine all the horrible things i must have done to you and your friends,” you laughed sourly.

“what do you mean?” bonnie asked.

“well, i… i overheard you a little when i was waking up. damon said that you didn’t like me much. i don’t blame you, i mean, i can be crass and judgmental, but i’ve changed over the years. i-i think, at least. otherwise i suppose i would be dead from those travelers now. no one wants to help a horrible person,” you explained.

“well, you’re not horrible, at all. for someone who has been with damon for like, almost two hundred years, you’re very kind. you’re also very funny and you try to help people the best you can.”

“oh, thank you,” you smiled shyly. “um… what do you mean about being with damon?”

“oh, he’s just um… not my favorite person to be around is all. you’ll see,” bonnie chuckled.

“i think i have, a little,” you giggled. “but he seems to care a lot about me. i suppose he’s known me since i’ve been born.”

“no, he does. honestly, like stefan said earlier, damon is the older brother you never bad.”

“and stefan, he is supposed to be my best friend and lover?”

bonnie smiled, “yes.”

“can you tell me about stefan? do-do you know him well?” you asked.

“i do, actually. he’s so kind, always wanting to help people and be the best. i swear, he works himself to death trying to be the hero. he’s very level-headed and extremely smart. he’s more mellow than damon, definitely, but he has his funny, savage moments. he’s dealt with a lot of pain in his years, and you’ve been there to experience it all. in fact, he always tells us how you are his light. it’s really sweet. i wish someone talked about me like that.”

heat crept up your neck and you couldn’t help but smile. “well, i understand why i fell in love with him, then.”

bonnie chuckled, “yeah, he’s a great guy. he’s probably more rough around the edges now than he used to be, though.”

“well, that’s what happens when you’ve lived for so long,” you chuckled. “i personally think i’ve softened over the years. i remember when i was a little girl, i used to be so quick and temperamental. my mother always tried to reprimand me, but i had a mind of my own, i guess. or that’s what my father used to say. now that i think about it, i think stefan is the reason why i have changed. he’s seemed to rub off on me.”

“wait, are you starting to get your memory back?” bonnie asked, getting excited.

“no, i’m afraid not. well, not of current things. i just am remembering things about myself. i still don’t remember damon or stefan,” you frowned

“oh, well, it’s okay. you only woke up an hour ago. we’ll give it time.” bonnie patted your arm.

“thank you. you must forgive me, i’ve always had a horrible memory. and now with mine taken away, i probably will be a burden.”

“no, no,” bonnie shook her head. “please, you’re our friend. i’m sorry if damon made it seem like i don’t like you, but i do. we just don’t spend time with each other that much, but we definitely will now.”

“i hope you don’t mind it, then.”

“i definitely don’t, don’t worry.”

you two sat in a comfortable silence, stefan and damon coming back only a few minutes later.

“so, you can’t have any wine, so we got you the next best thing: grape juice. and we also didn’t find any meatloaf, but we did find some spaghetti and meatballs,” damon said, setting it all down on the table.

“oh, thank you two so much.” you smiled. you began to get up, your feet slipping suddenly.

stefan rushed to catch you, his hands going under your arms. your eyes met his immediately, your breath getting caught in your lungs. you fell into a sort of a daze as he lifted you back up on your feet.

“my, you’re handsome,” you muttered.

“thank you. you’re beautiful,” stefan smiled.

your jaw fell open, your eyes widening. “o-oh. did i say that out loud? i am so sorry -”

“no, it’s okay. it was really nice to hear that,” he assured you.

“alright, thank you,” you smiled. “of course. my pleasure.” he let go of you, pulling out a chair.

“so, i say we compel the doctor to let you go home now so we can get this show on the road!” damon announced.

“no, they need to monitor her-”

“she’s a freaking vampire, bonnie!” damon exclaimed in a hushed whisper. he then turned to you. “you feel fine, right?”

“yes. a lot better now that i’ve eaten,” you answered.

damon grinned, clapping his hands. “see? she’s fine. i say we get her into her room and let her sleep in her bed.”

“damon, that’s not-”

“excuse me,” you interrupted stefan, peering at him through your eyes. “if you don’t mind me interjecting, i’d quite like to go home. and damon is right, i am a vampire so besides my memories, my body has healed me completely.”

stefan looked at you for a few moments, sighing before talking again. “yeah, that makes sense. are you sure you’re okay to go home? i mean, you almost slipped -”

“i am okay, stefan,” you smiled. “these floors are quite slippery with these socks on.” you moved your feet to show them.

“right,” he nodded. “okay, well, damon? i assume i can trust you to compel the doctors?”

“on it!” damon grinned, rushing out the door.

“is he always this eager to help?” you asked. “only when it comes to you,” stefan chuckled.

“well, i suppose that’s okay, for now,” you hummed.

“yes. you are our first priority,” stefan smiled.

“oh, please don’t let me ruin your daily routine. like you said, damon likes helping me. he seems to not have anything important to do, anyways, no offense.” you lowered your head sheepishly. “but he can help me while you two go to school and such. do you go to high school still?”

“no, we don’t. well, stefan doesn’t, anyways,” bonnie chuckled. “i’m going to college in the fall.”

“oh, that’s wonderful! i see the women have made lots of improvements. what are you going to study?” you asked.

“research and analysis. it’s not really a study, but that’s what i’m majoring in.”

“wow, you must be so smart, then. good for you. i wish i went to college,” you frowned slightly. “

“you did,” stefan spoke up. “oh? what did i study?” you perked up.

“literature. you went around the world teaching english and literature. part of it was to fit in as a human, but another part was because you always had a passion for it.”

“sounds like me,” you smiled. “i loved reading so much. i remember my mother had to hide my books for when we ate dinner.”

“woah, you’re remembering things now?” damon walked into the toom

“not really. i’m only remembering things about myself and my family.”

“damn,” damon muttered. “it’s alright,” stefan said. “anyways, we good to go?”

“indeed we are. let’s roll,” damon said.

stefan helped you out of your seat. you took out your IV, damon rushing you to his car.

“wow. this is beautiful,” you admired his chevy.

“i know! she’s my pride and joy.” damon sighed happily as he opened the door for you.

“thank you,” you smiled at him. he returned the smile, getting into the passenger seat.

“i’ll drive her home, i-”

“actually, can stefan drive me? i’d like to get to know him more. he is my husband, after all,” you said.

stefan’s chest swelled with happiness, his lips upturning into a bright smile.

“i suppose. don’t total my car,” damon warned stefan.

“no promises,” stefan smirked, getting in the driver’s seat. “you know i’m kidding, right? i won’t crash the car.”

“i know, don’t worry,” you smiled. “great,” stefan breathed out as he started the car.

“this is amazing technology. so much faster than the horses.”

“yep. it’s amazing how far we’ve come.”

you nodded, turning your head to look at him. you looked down at his left hand, smiling a little as you saw a silver wedding band.

“how long have we been married for?” you asked.

“50 years. 51 this summer,” he answered. “how long did we date for?” you asked.

“well, we actually didn’t date until we turned vampires. as you probably know, your emotions are heightened once you turn. and our crushes on each other were just too much to ignore, we started dating. we helped each other out a lot, you helped more than me. i mean, i-i was a wreck. with katherine turning us into vampires and all, me killing my dad, damon abandoning me. you were the only person who stuck by me. you know, you were, and still are, my light,” he explained.

you grinned, “bonnie told me that that’s what you call me.”

“ah, she’s told you about me, then. what did she say?” he asked.

“well, she said that you’re very kind and are always wanting to help people. she also said that you are smart and serious, but that you have your breaking moments. she also said that you have experienced a lot of pain. i am sorry to hear that,” you frowned.

“bonnie is very kind. too kind, actually.”

“oh, don’t say that. i happen to think it’s all true. just from what i’ve seen today.”

“thank you. i’m glad i’ve made a good impression.”

“well, you are my husband, so i would think that what bonnie said is true.”

“makes sense,” he nodded. “so, where do i live? with you, i presume?” you questioned.

“yes, and with damon. we live in the salvatore boarding house. it was built for uh, well, boarding in mystic falls.”

“do we have separate rooms?” you asked.

“u-um, no. but, if you’re not comfortable with that, there are plenty of spare rooms-"

"no," you said quickly.

stefan glanced at you, eyes wide in surprise. you chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck.

"u-um, what i mean is that it is okay. i'll get to know your quicker if we share a room. just um, let me have my privacy?" you requested.

"of course, of course," he nodded. "lovely," you exhaled deeply.

you looked out of your window, observing all the people walking around town square.

"so much has changed," you said, a little nostalgic.

"i know, it's crazy," stefan laughed. "but, i'll take you to all the old places we used to go, and the new ones you have gown accustomed to."

"sounds like a deal. you know, i'm excited. is that um… strange that i am so lively after having just woken up from my memories being taken away?" you chuckled a little.

"no, no, not at all. you were always really happy and upbeat, even on the darkest days. that's one of the reasons why i fell in love with you. you may not believe this, but, i'm kind of a debby-downer. you keep it light and fun, much like damon, actually. seems as though all that time you spent with him, as young as you were, you developed someone his behaviour."

"is that a bad thing? bonnie insinuated that damon isn't a good guy," you frowned.

"no, no. you're different. you pick and choose when to be a little um… eccentric. damon just says whatever comes out of his mouth, no matter what the situation is."

"i suppose that's another reason why you love me?" you grinned. "yes, you suppose right," he nodded.

"is this the boarding house?" you pointed to the mansion stefan was pulling in to.

"yes, it is. and, you can call it your home. that's what it is," stefan said.

"alright. it's beautiful." you admired the front.

"it's even better inside. especially our bedroom. you really know how to decorate." he got out of the car, opening the door for you.

"you're very chivalrous. i like it," you giggled. "well, anything for my girl," he flashed a warm smile.

your stomach flipped suddenly, a similar feeling to your heart hammering in your chest awakened. if your heart was still alive, then you it would be palpitating and ramming into your ribcage. you smiled back at him, getting out of the car.

you two walked together to the front, stefan opening the door without unlocking it.

"do we always keep the door unlocked?" you asked. "yeah. you know, the only people we are really worried about are vampires and well, you can't get in unless you invite them in," he answered.

"oh, right. well, that's nice. we don't have to worry so much about security," you said as you stepped inside.

he nodded in agreement, closing the door behind him once you two went inside.

"wow. you're right, it is better inside," you gasped. "mmhm. so, let me show you around. this is the grand study. it was mostly used by our nephew zach, but damon killed him as soon as he got here," stefan sighed.

"o-oh. and damon is supposed to be my best friend?"

"he's better than that, don't worry. you'll see, you'll remember," stefan patted your back.

"alright," you nodded. "anyways, right here is the library's and just out here is the grand hall. here is the dining room and the living room. back there is the kitchen, and next to it is the hearth room." stefan walked you around the house.

"it's amazing. wow, and to think this is my home," you laughed. "yep, all yours," stefan smiled as he heard your laugh.

he admired you as you walked through the living room, feeling around the bookshelves and the furniture. he missed this, seeing you back at home. before you woke up in the hospital, you had been kidnapped and tortured for two weeks before the travelers dumped you in the backyard of your house. after that, stefan rushed you to the hospital and about a day later you were awake. and now here you were, making yourself at home again. you looked so pretty in the setting sunlight. stefan almost wanted to cry at the relief of finally having you home.

"show me the upstairs?" your voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"yeah, yeah, of course," he nodded. he reached his hand out to you, you taking it graciously.

you both smiled at each other, stefan leading you up the stairs.

"so, up here is damon's room. that's where elena, his girlfriend, and him usually are. they have so much sex, you won't be able to get much rest here," stefan snorted.

"i'll make sure to wear my earplugs," you giggled.

stefan smiled at you, walking you to the next rooms. "these are the baths. and right here is our room. every other room up here is a guest room, but uh, this is the main event, i suppose." he opened the bedroom door, letting you peer inside of it.

he was right, you were a great decorator.

the room had green walls, bookshelves on the walls, and a few plants here and there. there was a big bed in the middle with gray sheets, pictures of the two of you hanging above the bed frame. there was a desk and chair in the middle of the room, books and papers strewn all over the desk top. there were picture of you two all over the walls, making you smile whilst also crying.

"what's wrong?" stefan rushed to you.

"oh, it's nothing. i just…" you sighed, turning to him. "these pictures are so lovely. i-i wish i could remember these events."

stefan took your hand in his, giving you a small smile. "don't worry about it. it's not your fault that you can remember.”

"right," you nodded, still disappointed in yourself.

"why don't we go and walk around town? maybe that'll help get your memories back," stefan suggested.

"that sounds fun, but i don't think walking around will reverse dark magic," you joked.

stefan chuckled, nodding in agreement. "you're right, but, you're starting to remember your own childhood. we don't know what the travelers took from you, so maybe they didn't take the memories of you and i. you might just have amnesia."

"i'd love to do anything to try and remember," you said. "me, too. before we go, do you want to change clothes? you've had these clothes on for two weeks," stefan gestured to your ripped shirt and dirty jeans.

"oh, yes. i didn't even realise i was wearing these." you looked down at your legs, eyes widening at the fact you were wearing pants. "when did they invent these?"

"1873, but women still couldn't wear them until the 19th century. and even then, women didn't wear them as regular clothing until the mid-20th century," he explained.

“well, i’m glad that i’ve stayed alive this long to be able to wear these. what are they called again?” you asked.

“jeans,” stefan answered. he walked over to your closet, opening it and presenting all your clothes. “and you have lots of jeans. so, go ahead and get changed into whatever. if you want to shower then go ahead, the bathroom is to the right.”

you nodded, “thank you. i’ll be done in a few minutes.”

“no problem. take your time,” he smiled.

you returned the expression, watching him as he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

you went to your closet, running your hands over your clothes. you had lots of grey, purple, and blue shirts. you saw lots of ripped jeans, some were their regular blue and others were white or black. you chose a light purple, short- sleeved shirt and a pair of dark-wash jeans. you found a pair of black panties and a black bra to match.

you went into the bathroom, turning the shower on and undressing. you put your dirty clothes in a near pile on the floor as you didn’t know where the hamper was. you set your clean clothes onto the bathroom sink, jumping into the shower.

the hot water felt so good, it was hard to get out, but you didn’t want to keep stefan waiting too long. you dried off quickly, looking at yourself in the mirror after you got dressed. you didn’t realize, but you were very dirty and tired-looking before showering. you looked better now. more awake, clean, and pretty.

you didn’t bother putting on makeup, not even knowing where you kept it. you went downstairs, finding stefan in the living room reading a book.

“i am ready,” you announced.

stefan looked up, jaw dropping as he looked over you.

“you look gorgeous,” he spoke.

you smiled shyly, lowering your head in bashfulness. “thank you. it’s not much, just a comfortable outfit.”

“doesn’t matter. you look amazing,” he shrugged.

“thank you, again.”

“of course,” he smiled. “let’s go ahead and go, yeah?”

you nodded, slipping on your shoes as you followed him out to the garage. you got into stefan’s car, driving back to town square.

“a lot of places have been built or torn down. i’m going to take you to the places we used to go to in this century, then go to the places from long ago that have been torn down,” he explained.

“sounds good,” you nodded.

he parked next to the strip mall, getting out and opening the door for you.

“are men still as chivalrous as you?” you jumped out of the car.

“no, not at all, but i like to be known as a gentleman. it sets a good first impression,” he answered.

“that’s sad,” you frowned. “it is. honestly, most guys nowadays are jerks and are selfish. no one teaches kindness anymore,” he sighed.

“well, i’m thankful i chose a man who still cares about those things. it really reflects on what kind of man you are.”

“i agree,” stefan nodded.

you two walked onto the side walk, stefan lacing your fingers together and guiding you into a store.

“this is your favorite store in the whole

town square. you always rave about the good deals and i’ve bought you lots of jewelry here,” he explained.

you hummed in reply, looking over the store. “it’s quaint. i see how it would appeal to me.”

“yeah, this store is the most popular one here, i’m pretty sure.”

“the owner must be rich, then.”

“probably is,” stefan nodded.

he then led you out of the store, explaining all the other stores and restaurants in the town square before stopping and showing you a specific place you liked.

“this is the grill, the most popular restaurant here. you and caroline, who you have yet to meet, love to sing karaoke here. you and bonnie and elena, who again, you have yet to meet, play pool here and get tipsy on the weekend.”

“what is karaoke and pool?” you questioned.

“karaoke is when you pick a song you like, and you sing it with a friend, or sometimes yourself. a lot of bars have karaoke, and some restaurants do, like this one. it’s just a fun activity for drunk people, honestly. and pool

is this game over there. you see those people

shooting the balls with the sticks?” he pointed across the room.

you studied them, seeing as they would curse in disappeared, or jump and clap in happiness.

“yes, it looks fun.”

“it is, and you’re quite good at it. maybe tomorrow you can meet everyone else and i’ll teach you how to play,” he suggested.

“i would like that very much,” you smiled.

“me, too,” he smiled back. “are you hungry? we can take a break from walking and get something to eat.”

“my stomach does ache a little. what kind of food do they have here?”

“burgers, fries, salad. classic american stuff, basically. i can order what you usually do.”

“sure, but i’m afraid to tell you that i have no money,” you sighed.

“it’s not a problem. this is my treat. plus, we have a joint bank account so, it doesn’t really matter who pays.””

“wow, that’s nice.”

“it definitely is.”

stefan then led you to a small booth, ordering immediately once the waiter came.

“tell me more about yourself,” you prompted.

stefan stared at you, not expecting you to want to know about him. it wasn’t completely surprising, but you just seemed a lot more interested in the town than him. he was happy that you asked, though. it reassured him that you two had a chance, even if you two had to rebuilt your relationship.

“okay, well, my birthday is november 1st, 1846. my favorite color is blue, my favorite type of alcohol is bourbon, but i do like a glass of whiskey every once in a while. one of my best friends was lexi branson. she was also your friend, too, but damon killed her for absolutely no reason.”

“oh, my - i am so sorry, stefan,” you gasped. “oh, it’s alright. damon has uh, since proved himself to be better… unfortunately,” stefan sighed.

you put your hand on his, looking him in the eyes.

“it’s not alright, stefan. i know you say damon is a lot better than people say, and that he has proven himself better, but that doesn’t justify what he did. i’m so sorry you lost lexi. i understand what it is it like to lose someone so close to you. i’m sure you remember, but i lost christopher only a few years after we became vampires. i don’t remember all of it, but i do remember terrorizing a whole village because of the anger and depression i felt. i’m sure lexi was an amazing young woman. one day, i would love it if you told me more about her.”

stefan smiled at you gratefully, eyes prickling with tears. “thank you, y/n. it means a lot to me. and yes, i’d love to tell you about her.”

“fantastic.” you squeezed his hand for support, the gesture warming his chest. “anyways, go on,” you said, keeping your hand on his.

“alright. well, i love i love lucy, which is a ‘50s sitcom that, funnily enough, you hated,” he chuckled.

“what is a sitcom and why did i hate it?” your brows knitted together in confusion.

“well, a sitcom is a comedy tv show. and a tv show is content that is broadcasted onto something that is called a television, which was the big black screen in the living room of our house. sitcom is a type of tv show. there are sitcoms, dramas, romance, horror, and lots of others. a lot of these genres bleed together, much like books. and as for why you hated the show, you just thought it was annoying because i would watch it all the time.”

“well, i do have a short temperament, so that explains it, i suppose. that tv show thing is a little confusing. can you show me how it works when we get home?”

“yes, of course. i can show you your favorite tv shows and movies,” he nodded eagerly.

“lovely,” you smiled at his enthusiasm. “so, what else do you like?”

“well, i am a fan of scorcese, who is a famous tv director. he directed taxi driver, which is a film i am a fan of. i love to cook, and i’m quite good at it, if i do say so myself. um, let’s see… what else is there…” he trailed off, looking at the table as he thought. “i am a bit or a hoarder, as you probably could see in our room. i enjoy any and all types of music, i have a rose tattoo on my right shoulder, and i am a scorpio, if that means anything to do.”

he looked back up at you, the tips of his ears turning pink as he realized you were staring and smiling at him the whole time.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” he asked.

“it’s just nice hearing all these things about you. i can piece together who you are, who the man i am married to is. it’s obvious you don’t open up to people a lot, and i appreciate you doing that with me,” you explained.

“oh, well, it’s no problem. you’ll remember all these things, anyways. but this is just surface level stuff, nothing special.”

“i think it is special and important. now that i know you a little better, i’m able to talk to you more and be more comfortable.”

“mm, that’s true,” he nodded.

you gave him a small smile, your food then arriving.

“wow, this is a lot,” you chuckled, looking at the cheeseburger and fries.

“it’s really good, too,” stefan said.

“how do i eat this?” you asked. “pick it up in your hands and take a bite, like this.” stefan took a bite of his burger and fries.

you followed in suit, groaning in pleasure.

“my, they never had this food at home. this is delicious.”

“i know, right? so glad america stopped the wine and beef soup at dinner.”

you giggled, nodding in agreement. you two ate in silence, stefan paying before you two left.

“do you want to continue going around town, or are you tired?” stefan asked.

“i want to continue,” you stated.

“alright. time to go to all the torn down places now,” he sighed, walking you back to his car.

you two drove a little ways away from town square, finding yourselves at the cemetery.

“are anna, christoper, and my mother buried here?” you asked.

“yes, they are. do you want to see their graves?” stefan asked.

you sat in the car for a few moments, holding your seatbelt in thought. you shook your head as an answer.

“no, i would hate to put a damper on this lovely evening.”

“oh, well, it’s okay. you always manage to make things bright and happy, even when we’re visiting the cemetery, but if you really don’t want to, then i’ll take you to the salvatore estate, and where your house was located.”

“mm, i am sure. we can visit some other time,” you smiled.

he returned the expression. “alright.” he got out, going to open the door for you, but you had already jumped out.

“sorry, i um, wanted to see how the door works,” you admitted sheepishly.

stefan grinned, finding your curiosity adorable. “no worries. ready to go?”

“indeed i am,” you nodded.

you took the initiative and laced your fingers with his. stefan glanced at you, his chest swelling with joy. it was almost like old times.

“so, where is the salvatore estate?” you asked.

“it’s just a mile into the woods. there’s only a singular pillar there because it got torn down, but the pillar marks the spot where the house stood.”

“why did it get torn down? it was such a beautiful home. surely someone from these days would want to live in it,” you frowned.

“you’d think that, but i guess folks these days want something more modern. but, wait, do you remember my house?” hope filled his eyes, carrying all the way through his voice.

“i think i do. it seems… familiar in my mind. i remember the front of the house, the beautiful entrance and the pretty rose bushes, the steps that led up to the door. i remember a room… it was of medium size. there was a big bed in the middle, a deep-sea blue carpet under it. there was a bug mirror across from the bed, a painting or two hung up on the walls. there was a small desk in the corner next to the closet. the room is very empty, but it brings back feelings of warmth and calmness.”

“yeah, that was my room. you spent most of your summer’s in there with me.”

“oh,” your eyes lit up. “you said that we didn’t officially get together until after we were vampires, but i remember being in the bed in lots of white, button-up shirts. did we-?” you looked to him, eyes wide and hoping he would say yes.

his cheeks were tainted pink as he nodded. “yes, we had lots of fun nights, but not all of them consisted of sex.”

“i see,” you nodded, a little smile on your face. “what else did we do besides sleep together, then?”

“well, most times we just laid there in each other’s arms. sometimes i would read to you and you would fall asleep in my arms. other times we danced, sang, talked about the future together. and let me tell you, we definitely did not imagine an eternity together, but i’m really glad it turned out that way. despite all the pain we suffered.”

your chest warmed as you imagine you two in the 1800s, doing more and being more than just friends with intimate relations.

“does damon know of this?” you questioned.

“he does, but no one else doesn’t. to make things easier, we just told everyone that we started dating after we became vampires, and that we got married in 1963, which we did.”

“and how was the wedding?” you asked.

“the best night of my life,” he grinned. “we have lots of pictures of that night in the living room and our room, which i will show you when we get back.”

“i can’t wait,” you smiled giddily.

you squeezed stefan’s hand, the gesture making both of your body’s shiver.

“here it is,” he said, taking you closer to the singular pillar.

you let go of his hand slowly, walking around the property. you closed your eyes, feeling the cool breeze fan your face. you stood in the middle, right where the living room be. lots of memories then flooded back to you, making you snap your eyes open.

“your father didn’t like us together,” you stated.

stefan furrowed his brows. “yes, how-how do you know that?”

you didn’t answer him, continuing to reminisce.

“i was meant to wed damon, yet, i fell in love with you. your mother would let us play together, knowing that the fate your father decided wasn’t going to happen. she accepted us. she actually liked us better together than damon and i. she thought damon was too wild, too untamed to settle down so young. he was like her, in that way. but you, once you saw me at our first ball at age 14, you knew i was the one. i remember you telling me this one night on my sixteenth birthday. you had taken me up to your room, sneaking up extra cake for me, and we laid together on your bed. that was both of our first time that night - it was amazing. you told me before we went to bed about your growing feelings for me. that night we both said ‘i love you’ for the first time.”

stefan stared at you, mouth agape and tears welling in his eyes.

“you-you really remember that?”

“i do,” you smiled slowly at him. “i remember the marks you left on my skin, the joy i felt as you held my hand, the way i cried when you told me that you loved me. i-i’m afraid that this is all i remember, but -“

“no, no, it’s enough. it’s more than enough,” he sniffled, coming closer to you. he slipped his hand into yours, his other hand wrapping around your waist.

you smiled, putting your free hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb up and down on his cheekbones. you looked into his eyes, studying his face as your hand went up and ran itself through his hair. you brought your hand back down to cup his cheek, your fingers dancing along his jawline.

“i also remember skipping school, playing football in the backyard, me wearing your shirt for the first time and it leading to us sleeping together again,” you giggled.

“how do you remember all of this?” he asked.

“the travelers must’ve just took all the important information about us, which we can deal with later. i want to enjoy this moment now,” you breathed out.

“thank god that they took that important stuff. it’s not that important once you think about it,” he nodded.

“i agree. i bet damon wouldn’t agree about that, though,” you joked.

“well, damon has never been madly in love until the last couple of years. but, me? i’m been in love with you forever.”

your lips spread widely and you looked deeply into his eyes, feeling yourself falling for him again.

“i love you,” you exhaled. stefan grinned, “i love you more.”

“nu-uh,” you shook your head. “mmhm,” he smirked.

you moved in closer, your nose bumping his softly. your eyes flickered down from his eyes to his lips multiple times before closing the gap. your lips met his in slow motion, immediately moving with his. his lips were soft and kissed you well, like he had done this a million times before, and couldn’t wait to do it again. he held you close against him, breathing in deeply at the taste of your lips. he felt at peace once again, whole and complete. and as for you, you felt alive.

every atom in your body was humming in pleasure. the feeling of his hands in your body, fitting right in with your curves, were like finally finishing a puzzle. it gave you butterflies, the way he tasted and smelled. the way he kissed you was delicious. it was gentle, but passionate. his lips worked against yours quickly, his tongue sliding against yours, eliciting a small moan from your throat. your teeth bumped each other gently, causing the kiss to then become fast, needy, hot.

you pulled away before anything else could commence, your chest heaving up and down. a line of spit broke off from your lips, breaking off as the breeze ran through it.

“remember anything else now?” stefan breathed out.

“just how much i’ve missed you,” you stated.

“i’ve missed you, too, baby. wanna go and see where old home was now?”

“yes, i’d love that,” you nodded. “great. come and follow me, then we can go home and i’ll make you your favorite meal, okay?” he suggested.

“that sounds amazing.”

“i’m so glad to have you back, y/n,” he squeezed your hand.

“i’m glad to be back.”

————

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[im-out-of-it]

I agree with your Kit post so sad to see him done dirty thankfully I found some fanfics where he gets a proper storyline

and what about gabriel not even reacting to his baby being seconds away to die? Why did only Will and James said anything during that moment in the ball?

THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!! I’ll warn ya, this turns into a rant and it’s hella long. just cautioning ya 🥹 if you find some fanfics, please send them my way if you can 🥰 in my head, kit is alive and well and gets treated like the beautifully intelligent science 🧬 sweet man he is 😭

it’s so sad and shitty that we don’t even get to see Gabriel and Cecily knowing about it!!!!! like they just don’t know about it? and I hate that cc always makes the herondales her top priority. having Will go on about James WHO IS VERY MUCH ALIVE is insane. I get he’s concerned but KIT IS DEAD AND ITS ALMOST LIKE NO ONE EXCEPT THOMAS ANNA AND GRACE CARE

OH MY GOD YOURE TALKING ABOUT LITTLE ALEXANDER AND HERE I AM BITCHING IM SORRY 😭

yes it’s so ridiculous that James and Will basically take over that interaction. you’re telling me that Gideon has lost a daughter because of his sister and Gabriel is about to almost lose a son because of his sister and THEY DONT REALLY DO ANYTHING? and I really hate that CC has Gideon being like “this is ridiculous, Tessa is a warlock and she’s bound to have a demon father but it doesn’t mean she is in league with him.” BRO YOUR SISTER HAS YOUR NEPHEW HELD HOSTAGE. like why did they have to make this whole thing be about Tessa?

you’ve just reignited my hatred for that storyline so thank you so much 👏🏼😌 and what amazes me the most is that Alexander is what three years old and basically gets tortured during this whole time and then they go back to making it all about Will and Tessa? it’s unreal. if I’m Gideon and my sister is stealing my nephew, I’m raising hell. I’ll never get through to her but I’m doing all I can to protect my nephew. like all the shadowhunters there and that’s what they’re going to focus on? ridiculous.

it’s focused on James and will because CC has always focused on the herondales. watch how all the herondales are usually all main characters or at least love interests. the only ones not as much in TDA but jace is still heavily in that series, at least it felt that way to me. instead of making this about you know Gabriel’s toddler being kidnapped and used as leverage, cc makes it all about Tessa being a warlock and being “in league” with belial.

I’ve noticed that CC has an habit of having an idea (Kit dying, Alexander being kidnapped, kit in the first book almost dying) but using another storyline or idea to overlap that and make it a priority over the original idea. aka- James being in Hell and making that the focus, Tessa being in supposed league with a prince of hell, James going to Hell to fight Belial.) I don’t know maybe it’s not as drastic as I make it seem but it always seems like instead of focusing on one idea, cc uses something else and then BAM suddenly theres a new focus and takes more precedence

I think all in all, the fact that Tatiana’s crimes are constantly being overlooked and that it’s never stated she had a hand in Barbara being killed and the fact her brothers are dealing with all this grief and losing a child because of her is wasted potential and material. Tatiana has made hell for her brothers and it’s never really mentioned?????

Tatiana is so mad with revenge that she’s built these thoughts in her head that Gabriel and Gideon are responsible for her grief. she’s so far gone that she thinks it’s an eye for an eye. but she’s the one that had a hand in murdering her own son. I’m sorry but trusting dark warlocks? girl you made your own bed. she should be mad at her father for being a shit father and not training her. it’s not Gideon or Gabriel’s fault that he died or that he killed your husband. a husband who turns out can’t even stand you lmao

I like TLH as a series but I hate how it’s handled. because there are so many characters and storylines we missed out on. I always wanted this series more focused on Thomas and Alastair, and more heavily on the lightwoods because I think they’re more interesting. I feel that there’s a lot that could’ve been done with this storyline. there’s many complex characters but they don’t really get a focus. just so many missed opportunities in my opinion

thanks for letting me vent 💀 I didn’t mean to slightly go off but the writing irritates me so much. but I definitely agree with your statements ✨

[mysticetus]

I think the piece of Petscop I'm trying to parse through is Lina. Always Lina. The Windmill Girl. Anna's sister. She disappeared. She died. She was reborn. Rainer made a grave for her in game. "They didn't see her." But yet. In a way almost impossible: "[Lina] in driver's seat. Me in back." "Family."

Did she die at all? Or did a piece of her die? What did Marvin do? What is rebirthing? What was the Windmill? If he was so intent on creating Tiara, an optimal version of Lina, then what happened? What did he do? What did he do? What did he do?

My brain is still doing the mental gymnastics to connect it all together

hi there i saw this ask late last night but im finally answering it. heres a response i typed at 3 am while kinda mad (you didnt make me mad, im just mad at the world):

what i find so poetic about lina is it doesnt matter what marvin did because the story is about the aftermath of it rather than the inciting incident itself. Its not our business what happened, rainer of course asks “what did you do?” but petscop exists in the aftermath. We exist in the aftermath. Nobody but marvin and lina knows what happened at the windmill, probably. The windmill itself is likely a metaphor. But it ultimately does not matter what any of it means. It could be anything and the story would still apply. I like petscop because it allows room for that. It doesnt ask what happened and it never shows you what happened. A lot of people love to ask what happened. But does it matter? What matters is the gaping holes and destructive craters it left behind, in all the people around it. most stories would love to tell you what happened in horrific detail, because the horror of what happens to people is engaging. This is something that keeps me up at night and causes me to shake with rage. Rainer plays the part of someone trying to dig into a tragedy out of reach. Grave robbery is vile. He came to learn this, and hes a piece of shit for it. Asking and digging reopens old wounds, to satisfy this hunger to know what happened, and why? Because its just so scary you cant look away? It eats at you? It eats at lina too, probably. It eats at care.

As for what im going to add to this now at 1 PM, i like that lina is able to exist in this quasi-dead state. its how it feels when something bad happens to you. rainer's definition of deceased is dubious and i think he doesnt mean literally dead when he creates a grave and mourns someone. you can feel unseen when these things happen to you, too. not everyone can see you but some people can. see death/bad girl by black dresses for more info <- dont actually

also i personally dont understand the reading that tiara is an ideal form of lina, or really any kind of predetermined entity at all, its more like a husk for belle to step into. in my eyes.

the more i talk about this the more i feel like im lowering myself into a vat of acid. basically i think you shouldnt sweat it. the way i see it its far less grounded in reality than you think and you kind of just have to see beacons

[burningcollectionsandwich]

my top 10 favourite game characters

im not much of a gamer person as i normally watch random stuff on youtube, draw or read goosebumps books, but when i do play games, HOLY CRAP some of the game characters i encounter are flipping awesome. i wont give much information about these characters away because i dont want to give out spoilers. so i made a top 10 list of my favourite game characters (in my opinion) 

(i dont own any of these gifs, characters or games)

number 10 = Lisa from PT Silent Hill

ah lisa, the first ever game character to scare the ever living hell out of me and cause major paranoia whenever i was alone. and thats what i love about her. to me, making me feel paranoia and having me look behind my back constantly, thats true horror to me and its flipping awesome. i also like her design as shes disturbing and the way she walks towards you while twitching violently as well as making noises that sounds like shes sobbing, perfect horror dude

number 9 = Nemisis from Resident Evil 3

holy crap this dude is awesome, design and power wise. first of all his appearances is awesome, just look at him, he reminds me of “the thing” from the horror movie “the thing” but as a humanoid, that and his height makes him a very intimidating character and i love it. and his power, that he literally adapts to everything makes him a very good boss to fight. awesome. i was very happy to see that he was added to dead by daylight

number 8 = Junkrat or Jamison Fawkes from Overwatch

i flipping love this idiot. i always pick junkrat whenever im playing overwatch to the point that im pretty much an expert now (im kidding, im no where near expert level). i also really like his personality as hes super smart when it comes to building stuff, yet he pretty much acts like a insane child and i love it

number 7 = The Huntress or Anna from Dead by Daylight

holy crap the huntress is awesome, hard to play against though, but still good. the huntress is a really cool character as her design is intimidating, her terror radius is her humming, which is very creepy to hear, and her ability to launch axes at you, bloody hell it is very hard to win a match against her when your a survivor. i also really like her backstory as well (i wont reveal it incase i spoil it for anyone who doesnt know)

number 6 = Sans the Skeleton from Undertale

ive liked the character of sans ever since he met frisk in the game, as he is a very interesting and mysterious character, i also like how hes very laid back but very protective over his brother papyrus. its been god know how long and i still cant beat his boss fight

number 5 = Clementine from Telltales the Walking Dead

clementine! i love clementine, we literally watched this character grow up throughout the games from season 1 when she was only 8-9 years all to season 4 when shes 17? (i think shes 17? sorry if im wrong), and throughout the seasons she just became more and more badass and awesome. (its been 6 years and i still have no idea if im spelling her name correctly or not. shes still awesome though)

number 4 = Mono from Little Nightmares 2

i love the character of mono, hes awesome, hes badass, hes adorable, literally everything about him is awesome. hes also really kind too, helping six throughout the game and saving them countless times (hell i even dressed up as him for comic con, hes really cool)

number 3 = Sal Fisher/Sally Face and Larry Johnson from Sally Face

how could i not put this gif. i actually couldnt pick between which character i liked the best between these 2 because i love them equally. sal is really kind and cool, and larry is awesome and protective, espesially over sal. theyre honestly the perfect team

number 2 = John Doe from Telltales Batman the Enemy Within

ayyy the guy that started my blog in the first place (its true, my blog was a batman telltale series blog before it became a goosebumps blog). john is my favourite character in the telltale games mainly because of how funny and awkward he is, half of the things he does and says is hilarious to me, plus when he turns into the vigilante joker, THATS when hes at his best, he tries so hard to be a hero and i love literally every scene hes in

number 1 = Yuka Mochida from Corpse Party Blood Covered

sorry i had to use a gif from the anime because i couldnt find a gif of her in any of the games. i remember watching corpse party for the first time when i was 13 years old and ever since then, yuka has been always been my favourite character. she has to be one of the kindest characters in the corpse party games, and i flipping love that, especially given the extremely dangerous situations shes in (trust me, the situations are very dangerous). also shes flipping adorable 

guys i highly recommend these games, they are flipping awesome (the games are: PT Silent Hill, Resident Evil, Overwatch, Dead by Daylight, Undertale, Telltale’s the Walking Dead, Little Nightmares 2, Sally Face, Telltale’s Batman the Enemy Within, and Corpse Party Blood Covered. they are all really cool)

what are you guys’s favourite video game characters, honestly i would love to know?

(i dont own any of these gifs, characters or games)

[interviewwiththewerepire]

Self Aware bi!dean fic list

*cracks knuckes* i gotta start using the bookmarks on ao3 bc scrolling though ibooks and checking the tags individually is Not It. Most of these are au's, because while a lot of self-aware canon dean fics do exist, it's harder for me to remember which way it goes becuase they tend to blend together more in my memory.

canonish:

profoundly different by amireal and tiamatv - s4 au, cas is in anna’s role

no kingdom to come by domestic adventures  - canon quarantine fic fwb

the prophet must die by imogenbynight - pre god!chuck, dean realizes chuck kept publishing and that his attraction to cas is out there in the world for anyone to see

a turn of the earth by microcomets - can’t remember if dean Knows, but its s10 cas and pre-series dean

the path of fireflies by museaway - so dean technically doesn’t know, but its an amnesia fic post s8 i think where dean wakes up married to cas and they run a b&b in vermont  

tell me about the dream by playedwright - not a dean knows fic either but its incredible. post s5 dean and cas raise claire together 

crossing lines by sometimeswelose - pre series dean gets brought into late the late season. heavy internalized biphobia and angst in this one 

AUs: 

Cinderwings, 4LW by bendingsignpost (I feel like these go without saying but I’m putting them here anyway)

carry you home by casloveshisfreckles - college/pro baseball au

fire and ice by castielslostwings - fighfighter dean/emt cas  fwb to lovers where the benefits are a d/s contract 

a ghost story by emmbrancsxx0 - this is like if you mixed tec and moy and made it destiel, i recommend p much all their fics too

peace and good luck to all men by kismetjeska - human au - anna brings home her boyfriend dean home for christmas, everything is a disaster 

Satin and Sawdust by ltleflrt- Cas is vet who just bought a fixer upper, dean is the contracter who lives across the street.

russian to the altar by malmuses - fake marriage for visa purposes 

and this, your living kiss by opal_bullets - the poet dean fic you know the one, their other fic, everybody needs the light is also good 

inevitable homoeroticism in spanish romantic heroes by prosopopeya - i dont’ actually remember this one all that well, but it fits the bill and its a professors au

asunder by rageprufrock - pining dean takes his friend cas to his brohters wedding . this is one of the few fics i remember from the 2012ish era and it still holds up 

a beginner’s guide to communing with the dead by suspiciousflashlight - i can’t really sell this once succintly, but its a detective story in a magical world and its v good

a reasonable amount of trouble by xylodemon - dean is a hunter/PI, cas is a client, noir vibes. their wolfstar fics are great as well

[ziracona]

I must confess I find your stance on Michael compared to Amanda and Leatherface a bit confusing. The latter two are awful, but they were also both victims groomed into killers by their evil father figures Kramer and Drayton. And while Michael isn't as bad as Freddy Krueger,he's still plenty sadistic. He hangs up corpses to terrify prey and his kills get more brutal overtime. His childhood may have been bad but i dont think it excuses his crimes anymore than Mandy and Bubba's.

Look, I truly don't mean to sound short, but I've answered this question many, many times before, so I'm just gonna link you instead of typing it up again, and also because if I talk about Amanda Young I go into a berserker rage I can't come out of for upwards of forty minutes. 

People need to be careful over-using psychology terms as blame or as excuses for characters. Yeah, both those characters were groomed. Amanda much less so, because she was a grown ass adult who signed on willingly of her own totally free volition, after being a target herself, and hypocritically went on to be so awful to other victims Jigsaw eventually took her out himself for going too far. Of those three, Amanda is by far the most despicable imo. Worst to me is a relative term, but most despicable, yes. Michael, it depends utterly what timeline you're talking about. For many timelines what's true is totally untrue in others for Halloween. I'd say things about OG or DbD Michael I wouldn't say about Halloween 2018 Michael, let alone Rob Zombie Michael or Hallowen 3&4 Michael. It just depends. When I talk about him, I'm always only talking about OG/DbD, unless I state otherwise, and for that I think what I say holds true. He's not as culpable, because his environment was totally cut off from other humans. His situation is more like Anna from Dead by Daylight, than like Leatherface, let alone Amanda Young. Amanda was a grown ass adult member of society who chose what she chose as a competent human adult. Leatherface is more secluded, but nevertheless has access to society & has observed it growing up and had opportunities for other ways of life, and is not just a cannibal, but takes pleasure in what he does to people. OG Michael can be interpreted multiple ways, absolutely, but he really doesn't do a lot of damage in the original films, and he's one of if not the speediest killer. It's usually a one and done, no torture or anything. He just stabs them. In Halloween 1978, there's not even a chase until Laurie.

Anyway. I'm not going to repeat everything here, but I have to disagree, and I maintain my stance is actually fairly simple. OG Michael is sympathetic. I don't find Leatherface sympathetic myself though, and I absolutely find Amanda Young abhorrent. You don't have to agree with me, and I can't make you--you can have interpretations that are not my own, but my logic is sound and holds up, and I stand by them. I also don't 'excuse' his crimes exactly. Michael murders people and I'm not like 'But that's okay : ) <3'. I just find him sympathetic in spite of it. If you'd like to see the reasons in detail about my opinions on Amanda here they are, and here are some longer explanations about my thoughts on Michael.