#like i cant express how much i believe that

[silentmouthpiece]

AND ANOTHER THING

1) Jimmy is not naturally sadistic. He's an asshole of epic proportions but he's not a sadist. Nor is he a senseless killer. Would Jimmy have killed Anya if he had access to the gun? It's likely. We dont know that for sure, but if he were to kill her there would be too many questions, too much time left on the ship to avoid facing immediate consequences (and lose respect from the rest of the crew) and he'd have to fight and kill everyone else. That's just too much for a man who's concerned about his image. If he killed himself though... no matter what happens afterwards he wouldn't have to deal with the fallout.

Crash the ship and everyone dies? No fallout from the crew or consequences.

Crash the ship and everyone but the captain (who was in on the plan until the last second) comes out unscathed? "It's Curly's fault! I'm good, he's not!" and Jimmy gets to avoid that fallout for a bit. And then Anya starts talking and fuuuuck, he cant get out of this one now can he? But he's captain now, so he's gonna take this second chance and not let anyone take it from him. Granted... Granted he did cause the crew to die, but the only intentional death was Swansea's. I dont think Jimmy would've put Curly in the cryopod if he understood that Curly would freeze to death so there's that, too.

Jimmy is manipulative but he's also delusional. This man believes in his bullshit and that made him so dangerous.

He wasn't always just doom and gloom. We mostly only saw him after getting the worst news of his life twice and tossed into a pressure cooker hell of his own making. That he swore he wanted, btw. Delusional. He was weird but chill before the Pony Express announcement.

This man's main coping mechanism is when he's not in control of a situation is denial and when that doesnt work he lashes out. How can anyone confront him when he doesn't even want to confront himself? I know his mind goes blank before he makes all kinds of excuses for his mind to eat up. It's that panic. That moment of realization that lashes at his hind brain and he has to build a wall to protect it. When the wall isnt enough he has no idea where to channel that frustration except through outburts and violence. Someone should've given him a journal or some shit.

Jimmy was hallucinating Daisuke's grave before the kid even died, lord have mercy. He did not mean for that to happen and the guilt was attacking him immediately. He still went in denial mode tho, trying to save him with that damn mouthwash. That being said, the denial mode was weakening and the guilt was coming for Jimmy tenfold. He couldn't even commit to the whole "It's Swansea's fault" bit. Reality was breaking through his denial door and Jimmy couldn't stop it. And it was thus when he lashed out at Swansea with the gun.

And damn... that speech Swansea gave him. A reality that Jimmy couldn't accept. If Jimmy was in a better state of mind maybe he would have understood what Swansea was trying to tell him, but I think Jimmy heard Swansea say "this ideal life I worked so hard and so long for wasn't what I wanted" and Jimmy's first thought was "I'll fix it... with a gun".

... Makes me think how long Jimmy thought death was a way of fixing things.

[alicewrotethis]

𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩. 𝟑﹒

ㅤ۫ㅤ ˚ ۪˖𓏲﹒synopsis!! tsukishima comes to a realization ㅤ ˖ㅤㅤ۫ㅤ ˚౨ cw!! timeskip k. tsukishima x chubby!fem!reader, angst (i dont write angst much i hope i did good) ﹒ ◠ note!!  playlist i listened to while making this !  i still cant reply to comments, ALSO LAST PART i hope you liked the ending, but if u didnt let me know if u want more or just another tsuki series౨ wc!! 2.2k part 2 not proofread

Opening your eyes the sun shone on your eyes, memories of the night before instantly flooding your mind making a blush form on your cheeks.

Leaning up and resting on your elbows you smiled, the memories weren't a dream, and you weren't being delusional. Your eyes scanned the room, remembering how the stars looked while Tsukishima was on top of you. You shook your head, metaphorically swatting the thoughts away.

Facing to the right you noticed the bed was perfectly put together, what time was it?

Searching for your phone, and some clothes, you saw there was a small pile on the nightstand to your right. On top of the pile was your phone, and below it was a pair of volleyball shorts and his hoodie.

Grabbing your phone first the screen lit up, he had charged it for you. A smile appeared while you read the time, it was six. Tsukishima didn't have to leave until seven, you knew that because you leave at the same time.

Tsukishima would never tell you but he is supposed to leave at six thirty, but to talk to you he waits the extra thirty minutes and chooses to sprint to practice.

Throwing on the clothes you made your way to the living room finding Tsukishima sitting on his couch in silence, seemingly lost in a deep thought with a pensive look on his face.

"Hey, Tsuki," You greeted softly, not wanting to frighten him.

He swiftly directed his attention to you, he didn't answer for a moment as he gathered his thoughts and words. The silence brought a nervous look to your expression.

"Listen," He paused, "About last night,"

"Yeah?" You felt your heartbeat quicken.

"It was a mistake," He stood up now, walking over to you with ease.

You felt your heart drop into your stomach. You weren't quite sure how to feel in the moment, or well, you couldn't decide how to feel with so many emotions mixing in your head. You were filled with anger, sadness, and confusion. If barfing was an emotion, you'd feel that as well. Your mind was so clouded with emotions you couldn't form a reply, and if it wasn't what were you even meant to say to him? Just agree with him? Agree that it was a mistake and you'd go back to your normal routine together? It was something you'd never be able to do.

"We shouldn't have done it," He added.

You let out a scoff, staring up at him with your tear-filled eyes, "I cannot believe you, Tsukishima," You felt your tears drip down your cheeks and onto the floor.

"I dont want to lose you," Tsukishima felt tears threaten his eyes as he stared at your form. It was true, he didn't want to lose you, and being more than your friend meant there was a possibility of that happening. He was scared of how things would change.

"Lose me?" You sobbed out, "Youre losing me now,"

You turned on your heel towards the door, but before you could even get a step in Tsukishima wrapped his hand around your wrist.

You turned your head to him expectantly.

Tsukishima wanted so badly to tell you to stay, to tell you he didn't want this, but nothing came out, no matter how hard he tried to verbalize his thoughts he just couldn't, so instead he stared into your eyes with a pleading look, hoping and praying you understood what he meant.

You pulled your wrist away, "Dont contact me anymore, Tsukishima,"

He watched as you turned around, he watched as you slammed the door, and he watched the time pass as he stood planted in the same spot for thirty minutes. He wanted to cry, he wanted to sob, he didn't remember the last time he felt like this, if ever. Tsukishima in no way was an emotional person, well he wasn't until you came into his life. He thought back to his life before you, how every day was the same, how most of his days were filled with boredom or anger.

He missed you and you had only been gone for thirty minutes. But he decided it was simply for the best, you deserved someone who could properly speak their emotions, someone who isn't so passive-aggressive, someone who isn't him.

Your heart ached and yearned, you weren't sure how you could cry so much about someone who you had only just seen thirty minutes ago, someone who was probably fine without you, who was probably going about his day like his words held no meaning to them. You let him see all of you, feel all of you. The ghost of his hands only made you sob harder into your pillow, the way he roamed you as if you were the only person he'd ever laid eyes on. Were any of his touches real, did the words he said hold genuine meaning? So many thoughts ran through your head.

You knew you'd be late to work at this rate so you decided to call off work. You noticed you were still in his clothes, god, it was like he was haunting you.

Tsukishima didn't want to stay in his apartment any longer, everywhere he looked there you were. Memories of you on the floor studying, watching movies on his couch, baking in his kitchen, and now ghosts of you in his bed. He settled on heading to practice to hopefully take his mind off of you.

It was a decision he had really regretted.

You never left his mind, so much so it was affecting the way he played.

"What is the matter with you, Tsuki?" Kogane shouted after Tsukishima didn't even jump to block the ball. The nickname reminds him instantly of you.

"Its just practice," Tsukishima replied in a calm tone while walking to the benches for a sip of water.

"But you totally could've blocked that!" Kogane followed him.

Kogane considered Tsukishima a close friend, but Tsukishima did not, and he thought he always made that clear, but every day Kogane proved him wrong.

Tsukishima just sighed in response, he knew Kogane was right, Kyotani was always easy to read in two-on-twos, but how could he focus when all that he could think of was the sight of you crying? He wasn't sure how hed ever be able to forgive himself, let alone forget you.

"Is it about that girl that brings your lunches?" Kogane asked after taking a big gulp of water and almost choking on it, much to Tsukishimas's misfortune.

"It's none of your business," Tsukishima tried to maintain his usual scowl.

"Oh, it so is! Tell your dear friend about it," Kogane said, waiting expectantly.

"And why would I do that?"

"Because when she was coming around here you actually smiled a few times," Kogane explained, mimicking Tsukishima's angry face.

Koganes words didn't help Tsukishima in the slightest. He missed you even more so now, he missed how happy you'd make him, though he had a weird way of showing it.

"It's too late," Tsukishima said, he couldn't believe he was actually saying this to Kogane.

"It's never too late, Tsuki,"

Tsukishima didn't believe him, Kogane wasn't there, and he didn't see the look you gave him when you told him to not contact you again.

Despite everything, Kogane's words stuck with Tsukishima, and they rang in his head annoyingly, they rang on his way to class, and on the way back to his apartment, they especially rang when he passed the bakery you worked at. So there he stood, in the cold, outside the door. He contemplated walking in, what would he even say? Were you even at work? What if you already moved away?

Before he could change his mind Tsukishima opened the door, the warm air welcoming him in, as well as the smell of freshly baked bread and cakes.

"Welcome!" A girl called from the desk.

As Tsuki walked over to her he examined the walls and the pictures that hung on them, some were of customers, and cakes, but there was one of you standing next to a cake about as tall as you. You looked beautiful with your smile, the smile that used to be towards him. How he missed you.

Once Tsukishima asked if you were here the girl gave him a strange look, "Why? Whats it to you?" She spoke, attitude lacing her voice.

Tsukishima was taken aback by her aggressive tone, "I'm a friend," Though friend wouldn't be the best choice of wording.

"Are you Tsukishima?"

He raised a brow, "Yes?" How would she have already known his name?

"Oh! She talks about you like all the time, she let a cake burn one time to text you back!" She said with a smile.

Tsukishima felt his heart pang at the new information, here you were burning cakes to text him back and he shattered your heart like it was nothing, how could he have allowed himself to do such a thing? Losing you because he couldn't properly communicate his feelings because he was scared of something unknown.

Tsukishima liked to consider himself a smart person, but at this moment, here in this bakery, he felt like a complete and utter fool.

He found himself standing outside your door, hands by his sides. What was he even doing? You made it painfully obvious you wanted nothing to do with him.

"Tsuki?" Your voice called from down the hall, Tsukishima swiftly turned his head to meet your gaze. You were holding a brown grocery bag, your eyes were puffy and your hair was a mess, but he saw past that, to him you still looked as beautiful as you did that night.

Tsukishima didn't know what to say, everything he was previously thinking faded within a flash, his words once again failing him.

You stared at Tsukishima, he looked distraught, the sight of him was almost enough to make tears form in your eyes.

You walked closer to your door as he turned to completely face you, he prepared for you to yell at him, tell him you hate him, anything. He wasn't prepared for you to walk right by him and straight into your apartment.

Tsukishima sighed and entered his own, if he couldn't use words, he'd use something he knew you loved.

Baking.

Heading to his kitchen he took out all the ingredients he'd need to make strawberry shortcake. Looking at the bottle of vanilla you helped him pick out he smiled, remembering the look on your face while you were explaining the differences, the glimmer in your eye.

Tsukishima wasn't the best at baking, which was one of the reasons he liked having you over so much, you'd always bake his favorite dish for him, you were always doing things for him and he didn't even realize what he had.

Placing the last strawberry on the whipped cream he stepped back to get a full view of it. It was... strawberry shortcake for sure from certain angles. He didn't have enough vanilla to make another one since you'd always use his, so this... creation... would have to do.

Carefully walking to your door he knocked, and after a few moments you appeared, teary-eyed.

You rolled your eyes at Tsukishima, you didn't want to, but you couldn't help it. He broke your heart, and even after he did you still thought of him, you should be angry, and furious, you should hate him, and you hate that you don't. You hate that you still want him, you hate that he's still the person you think of most.

"What-"

Tsukishima cut you off by showing you the shortcake.

Your expression turned to confusion as you examined the creation on the plate before you.

"I didn't know that color was possible..." You muttered, trying to hide your amusement.

"I made it for you, I didn't have any more vanilla left so I couldn't make another one."

"Its gonna take more than that for me to forgive you," You flatly stated despite everything in you wanting to forgive him, to pull him into a hug, to hear his laugh.

"I'm sorry," He blurted out, finally finding the words to say to you, "I was scared,"

"Scared of what?"

"Losing you,"

You weren't sure what to say to him, you weren't even sure what to think at that moment. He lost you because he was scared of losing you? None of it made any sense to you.

"I meant what I said," He paused, "I can't stay away from you,"

And for the first time in a while, you managed to crack a smile, and so did Tsukishima.

You took the plate from his hands, "Youre on thin ice, Tsukishima Kei,"

Tsukishima felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, he finally had you back, albeit he had a bit more work to do but he was more than ready for that if it meant having you in his life again. You, the one who made mornings tolerable, the one who made him realize there were more emotions than anger and boredom.

"Dont be a stranger, Tsuki," You said with a soft smile, to which he happily reciprocated.

"I dont think there's a world in which I would be,"

Tsukishima hated a lot of things.

He hated mornings, he hated polyester, he hated loud neighbors, overly enthusiastic people, and most of all, making friends with his neighbors.

But when you were around, he learned to tolerate things just a bit more.

mlist. rules. tags.

© 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 ─ please don't copy, translate, or post any of my work without my permission !

tag: @ilovemymomscooking

part 1

part 2

[pyschologicalrocketgirl]

Lucas Sinclair owns a vespa

[marsbotz]

not going to lie i do find it quite upsetting that so many ppl think that animals that arent immediately relatable to humans are completely incapable of thought or feeling. and thats the only thing that matters when it comes to animal rights arguments a lot of the time

[triglycercule]

Murder trio

i actually cried seeing this in my inbox i will not lie. like actually fucking cried tears of joy /srs absolutely no words can express just how absolutely thralled i am that you drew this. i'm actually ACTUALLY so so overjoyed and flattered and so happy that someone could manage to encapsulate just how much i love the jk!trio and just how silly they are and how you put your own spin on this and made them just as cute and silly and amazing as i've always wanted to see I'M ACTUALLY CRYING THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DRAWING THE JK!MTT 😭😭😭

im so sorry for the late answer i have literally had no time to draw but TYSM FOR THIS I DREW MORE JK AU 4 YOU TO THANK YOU❤️❤️💜💜💙💙 ‼️‼️

they just got out of an extreme gaming session at the boardwalk arcade and now the suns setting and killer wants to get ice cream before it sets so they can watch the sunset but as usual she's a bit too excited for horror and dust to keep up and dust is absolutely dying (she gets ZERO excercise and killer is FAST) and horror just wants to take her time and also spare dust from killer's wrathful running speed. its ok though they manage to eat the icecream while watching the sunset even while slowed down (the vibes in this one are immaculate this is what jk fashion au stands for. silly fluffy important friendship bonding memories. i love. it's not full effort because i wanted to get this done quickly so i wouldnt respond late but im UNFORTUNATELY busy and now its been a day,,,,, I STILL LOVE THE ART YOU SENT ME THANM YKJ SO MUCH)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[yaoianimeremade]

Soon im rly gonna do it

[mushtoons]

You're the only person I follow who still does the "multiple of the same post" reblogs anymore and I love it so much! I'm just like! Look! Friend is excited! It's been rebloged 8 times! Vry nice!

-💜

HEHEHEHHEHEEH

[fashionbitchgd]

vip mutuals where are yall i need to share this moment 😭😭

[fleshandwires]

OUGHHH. OUGHM UFHAHDUFN UGHHSHJFISFN (dying)

[phagodyke]

was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

[hofftrans]

Platonically adore my psych for a number of reasons but a big one is that her whole practice is committed do de-colonising and stripping anglo christian values from therapy. Discussions on violent urges and guilt below the read more

So in my last session when I was like "I know I am a bad person because I solved most of my problems growing up with violence and genuinely enjoyed doing so what if I'm the next jack the ripper no one should enjoy violence" and my psych just uno reverse cards me and goes "Nah fuck that, all the examples of you hurting people are in situations where you were actively defending another person, often a minority, and gave warnings before attacking. Its bullshit that people are 'allowed' to hurt you but if you hurt them back you're suddenly the monster. Fuck that. You had your power stripped away and found a way to get it back, of course that felt good" and then we spent the last like ten minutes flipping between being nostalgic about past fights and talking about subjects like the military, police brutality and the way the western world moralists and demonised violence from any individual or group other than the ones that support the oppressive status quo

[angelmichelangelo]

bro dominos pizza really tastes like ass huh

[geothefafa]

growing up as a child with severe hallucinations was wild.. the whole time you're becoming a person and adjusting to reality and learning how the world works but you're thrown a secret curveball that no one else knows about or can warn you about because no one else can see it happening. and should you express any signs of genuine distress or confusion over something imaginary, it's called "over active imagination" or "imaginary friends" and its all cute to adults until theyre losing sleep at night because the kid is too scared to sleep alone- but even sleeping between mom and dad still doesnt feel safe because every night feels like a horror movie where only you can see the monsters that want you dead. but its not real! and you have to listen to mom and dad when they say that! but they dont get it! no one ever gets it! it doesnt go away when you close your eyes! the visions get horrific and grotesque even by adult standards but no one listens! just go back to bed it was just a nightmare :) but the truth was you never fall asleep first.

[jammy-badger]

okay quick rant

fucken hate how christian/catholic/whatever people act like a kicked puppy whenever you express even a remote discomfort about them or their religion

like ill say the smallest thing about how im not religious or at most like an offhand mention of like, 'yeah no im not religious because of past bad experiences as a queer neurodivergent person and im not interested in or comfortable with engaging with it' and they ALWAYS take it like a personal attack, or worse an invitation into a theological debate

like i totally understand how all-consuming christian (and all its variants, don't @ me) faith can be, ive been there, but would it kill you to just have a little self-awareness about you?

however good your intentions may be, it costs nothing to consider how christianity/catholicism/whatever has huge connotations to queerphobia, racism/colonialism, ableism and abuse and that countless people from vulnerable groups have suffered, and that people's discomfort is not an invitation to justify or defend yourself or your faith. seriously

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...