#like hot gay cowboys in space

[mirrordraco]

Can someone now give Cowboy Kenobi a cute little story where he teams up with a certain blue cowboy bounty hunter? Just saying... It'd be perfect

me, outside lucasfilm hq with a bullhorn: HERES HOW THE KENOBI SERIES CAN STILL BE A WESTERN ! GIVE HIM A HORSE !

[ultram0th]

A New Life

Part 1 │ Part 2 │ Part 3

It’d been almost a year since Blue had hypnotized his new boyfriends.

The first had been Kevin Jonas, and Blue had managed to convince the former boy band member that he was just some slutty streamer who loved to be musky all day. Whereas Kevin used to have the boy-next-door motif, he now looked like he’d been ripped straight out of a 70’s porn flick, complete with the mustache and hairy chest.

Second had been Nick Jonas. The singer was now a cowboy who had to play with his nipples in order to get off. Sure, Nick had played tons of gay roles for shows in the past, the stud was now living it: showing off and fondling his sensitive chest for everyone to see on stream, all the while moaning in that new country accent of his.

Finally, Wolfe Glick had joined the group. The competitive Pokémon player had gone from good boy to an entirely different definition of the phrase. His body had been pumped full of steroids, turning him into an absolute muscle monster who lived to be praised by Blue and the others. Not only was he a good boy in the new sense, but he also acted as guard dog for the group’s house, growling at anyone who walked too close to the front door.

The three of them would frequently stream together online, playing numerous video games and showing off for the chat. Speaking of, the chat would often times egg them on, tipping them if they sniffed/licked one another’s pits or flexed their muscles for the camera. Their streams proved to be immensely popular, and the three altered men were loving their new lives.

However, at the end of the day, Blue couldn’t deny that he felt a little semblance of guilt in the pit of his stomach. Of course, he loved his life with his three slutty streamer boyfriends, and he wouldn’t change them (back) for the world; however, it was getting harder and harder to ignore the voice in the back of his head that told him that they were only with him because of the hypnosis. No matter how happy they looked and no matter how great the sex was, the hypnotherapist still knew deep down that they wouldn’t be there if he hadn’t hypnotized them in the first place.

Therefore, one day Blue called the three of them down to his office. 

The trio lumbered into the office, each of them a little confused as to why this impromptu meeting had been called. Each one of them was dressed in just a jockstrap; with the exceptions being Nick’s cowboy hat and Wolfe’s dog collar. They shared the couch with one another, with Wolfey taking up most of the space with his extra wide bulk. The three of them were shirtless, each one of them preferring to be as uncovered as possible. Musk wafted off their hot bodies in waves since they’d just finished showing off on stream, the stench of sexual excitement permeating the air.

“What’s up?” Kevin asked.

Blue leaned back in his chair, unsure of how to approach the issue that he was feeling. He wanted to ask if they would still be with him on their own free will, but at the same time, he didn’t know how to possibly explain the current situation to them. Hence, he figured that the band-aid method would be best.

Snap! the hypnotherapist snapped his fingers, each man on the couch wincing as they felt as if they’d just been hit by a freight train.

Immediately, the three men felt a rush as the onslaught of the year’s past memories came back at them full force. They each paled at the memories of what they’d done on stream as well as the body modifications that they’d undergone.

“Wh-what?” Kevin stuttered as he blushed furiously, feeling as if he’d burst into flames over the humiliation he felt over seeing himself sniff at his hairy pits for hundreds to see. He looked down at himself, feeling incredibly exposed as his hairy body was clad in just a small jockstrap. Worse was that his cock was still half-hard, despite being surrounded by other guys.

In the middle of the couch, Nick grabbed his cowboy hat off his head and placed it in his lap so that he could shield his own jockstrap bulge from view of the other men. He was red from head to toe, and despite himself, his perky nipples still burned with want. It took all of his willpower to not tug on them in front of the other men, and he had to focus on his humiliation in order to stay grounded. The poor guy even struggled with the odd sensation of feeling naked without his hat on… despite truly being nearly nude. His lack of a cowboy hat seemed to be the catalyst for his sense of discomfort.

Lastly, Wolfe first noticed how heavy he felt. He looked down at his body and gasped loudly as he saw how large he now was. With shaking hands, he moved barely flexible arms to feel at his large, new bodybuilder form. He was huge and he blushed as his new form kept rubbing up against itself with every movement. “Wh-what happened to me?” he panicked, his voice sounding a bit deeper than it should’ve.

The three men looked at Blue with wide, frightened eyes as they struggled to piece the last year’s events together. They knew that he was behind it, and their humiliation was mixed with anger over how they’d been forced to act against their will. More embarrassing was that, despite how horrified they were at this epiphany, there was a growing part inside each of them that was excited over the thought of showing off for the camera— a spark of pleasure forming at the idea of handfuls of men watching them pleasure themselves.

The hypnotherapist held his hands out in front of himself in a genuine gesture. “Listen,” he said, his voice slow and soothing, “I’ve had you three hypnotized over the past year. Each one of you had been brought to believe that you were a gay, slutty streamer and that we’d all been in a poly-relationship together.”

Each of the men on the other couch blushed at this epiphany but despite their shock, they couldn’t deny the foreign tingling they felt deep inside as their broad, bare shoulders constantly brushed up against one another’s. Plus, with the three of them on one sofa, their musk permeated the small living room. Poor Wolfe’s arms were too large and they kept jostling against his bulbous pecs, preventing him from covering his hardening bulge in the front of his tiny jockstrap.

“I simply used hypnotherapy to convince each one of you to let down your inhibitions and unleash a hidden part of yourself— and behold!” Blue gestured at the three men on the couch. “Think about it. I released you from the hypnosis, but what do you all feel in this moment?”

Instinctually, the three altered men wanted to lash out at the smaller guy on the other side of the living room. However, they couldn’t help but ponder the question presented to them all.

Kevin thought back to his transformation into a hairy slut. Of course there was a part of him that missed his old boy band life, but he could not deny that there was a thrill that rippled through him at the thought of showing off on camera for tons of other men to gawk at. He was rock hard as he breathed in the other guys’ musk, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t deny that he was eager to get back on camera as soon as possible. 

Nick experienced the same influx of emotions: embarrassment, anger, and above all horniness. Although he couldn’t shake his thick country boy accent, Nick didn’t really seem to mind the thought of showing off his body to other guys. He’d done it before on TV as he’d played plenty of LGBTQ+ characters. The only difference now was that he was actually living the part. Also, his chest burned with want, and never before had Nick ever gotten off so intensely than when he’d had his nipples toyed and played with. He severely doubted that even if he did go back to his old life, that he’d ever experience pleasure as great as when Blue would thumb his hard nips. The mere thought already made his tits burn with deep desire.

Wolfe was obviously the most drastically transformed. The stud knew that no matter what, there was no way he could ever trade in his new bodybuilder bulk for his old body; nor did he really want to. His chest felt cumbersome and he couldn’t see over the shelf his large pecs created. His arms were thick and barely movable. When he walked, he was forced to lumber side to side in a waddling stride. But despite all of that, he loved how much he dwarfed the other men in the house. He could easily pick up each of them and toss them over this broad shoulder, the simple action filling him with a protective contentment. Deep down, Wolfe had always been described as a sweet puppy by his friends, and now he was a sweet guard dog… just significantly bigger.

Overall, as Kevin, Nick, and Wolfe each thought about what had been done to them, they didn’t take long to realize that at the end of the day, they all loved it and they couldn’t imagine leaving their new lives of pleasure to return to their old, boring ones.

But still, they each wanted Blue to pay.

Each man wore a mischievous smirk as they looked over at the small hypnotherapist.

Kevin, being the first one transformed and therefore assuming the role as leader of the group, spoke up. “You’re right,” he admitted, “we love our new lives. But for doing this to us against our will, you owe us.”

Blue’s heart sped up in his chest. “What do you mean?” he asked, feeling himself getting hard as he stood in front of the three larger men.

Wolfey stepped forward and easily tossed the smaller man over this broadened shoulder, puffing out his muscled chest with pride as he carried him back up the stairs to their shared bedroom. Kevin and Nick eagerly followed behind.

As soon as they were in the bedroom, Blue was gently tossed down onto the bed before all three of the men pounced at once.

They took turns shoving their hairy, musky armpits into Blue’s face, forcing the smaller man to lap at them hungrily with his tongue, which he did so gleefully. Kevin’s were especially musky, and he went so far as to place his hand on the back of Blue’s head to shove his face deeper into them. 

Each of the larger men was rock hard, their massive cocks springing out as they tore their tight jockstraps away from themselves as they anticipated their hypnotherapist boyfriend taking care of them.

Kevin grabbed Blue from behind, placing both of his hands on the other man’s hips. Nick tore away Blue’s pants, allowing the other man to line up his throbbing cock with the smaller guy’s hole. 

“Oooohhh!” Blue moaned loudly as Kevin entered him. The rest of the guys cheered in the bedroom as the sounds of Blue’s clapping cheeks rang out, Kevin thrusting into his throbbing hole like a mad man. 

Wolfey circled around the bed and grabbed a hold of Blue’s head (having a little difficultly with his bulky muscles getting the way). Wolfe’s hard cock bobbed in front of Blue’s face, his purple-flushed head leaking precum as it brushed against Blue’s slack jaw as he moaned.

Without hesitation, the hypnotherapist took in Wolfe’s hard cock in his mouth, moaning loudly as he was being stuffed full by both ends. 

Kevin fucked his aching hole while Wolfey fucked his face. 

Not wanting to feel left out, Nick hungrily rushed forward and snatched both of Blue’s hands, shoving them onto his hairy pecs. Blue took his cue and began to tug on Nick’s sensitive nipples, causing the cowboy stud to moan like a needy slut.

All four men heatedly fucked in the small bedroom that they shared, illustrating their new roles in life. No longer did Kevin, Nick, and Wolfe feel angry about being turned into slutty streamers. They loved their new lives and they loved their new boyfriend that they all shared.

Blue moaned as he was fucked both ways and as he groped Nick, loving having all three of his boyfriends use him to get off.

Kevin, Nick, and Wolfe each came at the same time, filling up the small hypnotherapist with their cum from both ends while Nick’s coated his chest.

Blue lied on the bed, spent from being used by his boyfriends, a smile on his tired face.

“I’d say we’re even now,” Kevin smirked as he crossed his arms in front of his hairy chest.

..The End..

[mercsmemes]

Tales from the Group Chat

“What are the Deep Roads if not the highways of Thedas?”

“Listen we’ve been over this: you can’t make a guy with a God complex top.”

“I’m sorry about your toilet.”

“The child must learn she isn’t worthy of unicorns.”

“Sorry, he wasn’t a random vampire. He was also a mime.”

“Why ask women when you could just be a man with an opinion?”

“I saw a space cowboy and it’s my duty, nay, PRIVILEGE to ride.”

“You bring geese into an argument to win it.”

“Murder attempts are how Orlesian nobles say hello.”

“I can excuse wanting to end the world as we know it but I draw the line at Cullen fucking.”

“Perhaps the real Talking Darkspawn was the Warden all along.”

“One day soon the dawn will come? Haha I think you will find the dawn comes every day.”

“I can’t believe Mythal was the first gamer girl.”

“He doesn’t deserve to be ingested.”

“It’s ok, I’m from the Qun-ion.”

“Whenever I see it I’m like bored but also offended by how bored I am.”

“Meredith Orsino Malcom [rando’s last name] you were named after all the people I blame for my trauma.”

“Peak Templar is Otto investigating a Veil issue and not the mages enslaving people like 20 feet away.”

“Every pair of shoes I own are clown shoes.”

“Gaslight gatokeep girlboss.”

“Accidentally killed my husband because I thought I had healing hands equipped but I actually didn’t so instead I punched him to death.”

“I tell her that I do not control the cricket and she does not believe me.”

“Would you rather have Goofy as your Psychopomp who takes you to the afterlife OR the obstetrician who delivers your baby?”

“Me, quietly: dickscourse.”

“Animals do not have money.”

“Your own fault for having feet, really.”

“Bring ravioli, babe.”

“Science lesbian is so vicious.”

“Spoilered because one has a dismembered penis for some reason.”

“Do not stand by my keyblade and weep. I am norted, I do not sleep.”

“When I die make sure I have cameltoe.”

“Women are completely hairless beings that don’t poop.”

“Are you calling me a Fereldan?”

“I can’t believe sex and Irn Bru were invented in the same land. Possibly in the same lake.”

“Simple and queer is the way we’re all feeling tonight.”

“Cullen had clearly started a raw meat diet and needed cover.”

“With the power of bisexuality we can make liking men feel gay.”

“You ask [name] to dom for you and he says yes but he starts crying and it kind of ruins the vibe.”

“I am haunted by the utter fruitlessness of making cornflakes.”

“Trophy spouses don’t have to be older or younger, just super hot.”

“All elves are just Solas running around really fast.”

“Accept the truth into your heart: Tevinter doesn’t season their spaghetti and they only have smooth penne pasta.”

“Antivans Mad at Food blog confirmed.”

“Meredith the PEZ dispenser.”

“What if the real handspider was the friends we made along the way.”

“So, no dongus?”

“WHEREwolf!”

“Sometimes the real Agents of Fen’Harel are the people modern society has crushed along the way.”

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Hit ‘Em Up! (18+ Fic)

Pairing: Cowboy!Gojo Satoru x Cowboy!Geto Suguru x Black!Cowgirl!Reader (Slow Burn/Enemies to Lovers)

Synopsis: You get to meet Geto & Gojo the Gunslingers, the notorious outlaws that have every town and law enforcement in a twist, when your bum-ass BF offers you as payment to avoid going to prison. Little do they know that this is only a part of your plan to get what you desire. But when you realize that the infamous gun-slinging, smooth-talking cowboys could be everything you want and more when they offer you a deal to team up with them, will you successfully be able to go through with it? 

Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINOS GTFO); poly!SatouSugu; Reader is Black & Fem; Mention of other JJK characters; Porn with Plot; Tragic Backstories; T/W for Childhood Trauma, Parental Death, Violence, Panic Attacks & Torture; Angst/Hurt/Comfort; Hand Kink; Masturbation; Voyeurism; Gay Sex; Polyamorous; Double Deepthroat; Mutual Oral; Fingering; CMNF; Spitroast; Riding; Unprotected PiV Sex; Creampies; Outside/Public Sex; Shotgunning; Multiple Positions; Spit Kink; Facials; MDom/fsub Undertones; Aftercare

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Chapters: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen PT I & II. Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty-One. Twenty-Two. Twenty-Three. Twenty-Four. Epilogue + Soundtrack.

********

TWENTY: MISSIN’ YOU.

The next morning, you wake with a smile to the sound of singing birds and stretch your arms to grab your men closer for a morning snuggle…only to feel nothing in return. 

Your eyes shoot open, your bliss and security destroyed.

You immediately shoot up out of bed, the bedsheet falling off of your naked breasts. The spaces beside you are empty and well-made as if the boys got up and straightened them without trying to wake you up during the late hours of the night. 

“Geto?” you call. “Gojo?”

There is no answer. Only the chirping of birds outside that doesn’t sound all that cheery to you anymore. Your body grows cold like you’ve been dipped in ice water as your anxiety peaks. 

“Oh, no,” you gasp, immediately filled with dread. You reach for the telephone, wanting to make a call to Nanami to see if he possibly saw the duo today, but a folded note next to your pistol stops you short. With shaky hands, you pick it up and read it: 

Dear, Y/N, 

If you’re reading this now, we’ve already left. We’re so sorry to have left you to wake up alone. You will probably hate us and we have to live with that forever knowing that we broke your heart.

We broke our own too. But this is for the best. 

Please believe us when we say that our time with you on the road and in Willow Springs have been the best of our lives. We are grateful to have met you and have fallen in love with you. There is truly no one like you and never will be. 

Please try to understand why we left. You don’t know Benji like we do. He is a horrible, violent man who will do more than just tie you to railroad tracks.

We could never forgive ourselves if something happened to you by his hands. We’re doing this to not only get vengeance for us but also for you. 

No matter what happens, please live your life to the fullest and safest. Be happy no matter who you end up with. Take care of yourself. 

Thank you for letting us into your life and your future.

Love you forever, G & G

With a horrified gasp, you drop the letter Immediately, you snatch up your robe and race out of your bedroom down the steps, your feet pounding down each stair.

You hear the sound of your mother’s laughter and hot coffee as you come down the last stair. “Papa!” you shout. “Mama!” 

You run to the kitchen where the two are. Eren is sitting at the breakfast table eating a scone while Yuri is stirring some sugar in her coffee. “Hey, look who’s finally awake,” she announces. “We got home early, so I stopped by a bakery and bought some blueberry…honey, what’s wrong?” 

Her smile fades, concern on her aged face. Eren turns to look at you, looking confused. “Where’s Geto and Gojo?” you hurriedly ask. “Did you see them this mornin’?” 

Eren shakes his head. “They left not too long ago at the crack of dawn,” he replies. “I was out tendin’ to the crops when we got home and they helped me out before takin’ off on their horses. Said they had some business to take care of out of town.” He squints at you. “Why?” 

Anyone would’ve thought he just said Geto and Gojo were murdered with the way you broke down in the kitchen. “Oh, no,” you sob, tears welling up in your eyes. “Oh, no, no, no!” 

Your parents stare at you, alarmed, especially when you bolt out of the kitchen. “Honey!” Yuri gasps. “Y/N, wait!” But you don’t wait. You can’t wait.

You snatch open the front door and race out of the house into the warm sun and unseasonably cool morning air. You immediately run across the field to the farm where the horse stables are.

‘Please,’ you think, desperation making your brain go haywire. ‘Please, please, please!’ 

But when you toss open the stables, you don’t see Geto or Gojo’s horses. You only see Reneigh and your parents’ two old mares who look at you as soon as you open the door. You stagger backward, the realization hitting you: they’re gone. They’ve left you here alone. 

But what about what they said last night? What about what happened between you? They said they would stay. They said they loved you. They— 

“Y/N!” Eren shouts. You turn around, your vision blurred with tears. Your dad comes running up to you, haggard from the quick movement. “What’s goin’ on?” he demands. “What happened?” 

You wrap your arms around yourself, your grief and shock coming in waves. “They left, Papa,” you sob. “They left and they’re not comin’ back! They left me!” You drop to your knees, your raw emotions making you feel weak. 

Eren swoops in to hold you, kneeling with you in the dirt. “Oh, sugar, no,” he shushes you. “They told me they’d be back.” 

You shake your head, tears rolling down your cheeks in steady streams. “No,” you whimper. “No, they lied! They left to go…to go…” You can’t finish the sentence. You won’t finish the sentence.

Eren presses your head to his chest, holding you close to him. “Shh, it’s alright,” he coos. “It’s goin’ to be okay, Y/N.” You grip onto his flannel, coating the fabric in your salty tears.

But nothing is okay. Nothing will ever be okay again.

[fisherpiers]

Hunter coming out to Luz as bi

OKAY here i am like over 6 months later LMAO

like whattt? im not dead?? i know, i know. my deepest apologies

i have already written him coming out in flapjacks with syrup so if you want more go read that too not to self promote agskgjjghh (i will be updating that soon just saying 👀)

but here’s some headcanons!

lemme see, theres so many ways for this to go. lets entertain just a couple tho lol

scenario #1

its july and luz is getting/making pride merch for everyone bc shes trying to make it a thing on the isles. at least a little holiday. perhaps a parade? itll be fun!

and she realizes she has no clue what hunters deal is. is he straight? aroace, maybe. that guy is married to his work.

shes trying to keep this pride thing a surprise so she asks him nonchalantly like “hey broooo i was just wondering. whats your sexuality. a friend wanted to know.”

and he bluescreens

“uh. i— i dont know, actually.”

he never really thought about it. hes always been too busy being attracted to them books lmao

he has to get back to her in two business days at least 😂😂😂

he basically spends those days spacing out and scaring his classmates by intensely staring at them.

hunter discovers that he generally feels the same about any gender. and he didnt really have a preference when imagining his future having a wife, husband, or partner. as long as they made him happy

and everyone was really pretty. hexside had quite a lot of cute witches and demons

but honestly, he still didn’t really find himself wanting to start a relationship with any of them (gee wonder why)

he chalks it up to the fact that he’s focusing on his studies and apprenticeship right now and has no time for romance

besides, if he had a partner, he’d have even less time to spend with luz his friends

he finds luz up in a tree behind the owl house, nose in a book. shes so focused on the story that she doesn’t even hear him approach

“LUZ!”

“WHA—“

she was so startled she fell put of the tree. hunter tried to catch her he really did but they both wound up crashing down to the ground in a heap

oof

luz shoved him off her, laughing “first you give me a heart attack and now you try to crush me? i thought we were friends now, hunter!”

“sorry, sorry,” he wheezed as he rolled over in the soft grass

luz went and retrieved her book from where she accidentally threw it, “so what did you need me for?”

“oh, i just wanted to tell you i think i figured out my sexuality now, like you asked,”

“thats okay. i didnt mean to presure you so you dont have t—”

he sat up, “im bisexual,”

liz gasped “OH SWEET, twinsies!”

she got matching bandanas for them. cowboy vibes lol

luz did successfully get the annual pride parade set up in the isles. hard to say no to her shes a force of nature and also kinda a celebrity now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

scenario #2

luz has just assumed he’s gay

bc they often talk about guys they think are cute. like if theyre at the mall food court (without the hexsquad) and see any hot guys they are thoroughly checking them out and giggling like school girls

its not something she can do with amity (obviously), vee or willow. plus, she trusts that hunter isnt about to go squealing to her girlfriend about her attraction to men she has no plans on pursuing

its a good bonding activity, okay. if you cant thirst over cute guys with your bestie are they really your bestie

alas, because of this, luz never reads too much into the moments they have together. hunter let a hug linger a little too long? he lets her eat off his fork? puts his arm around her on the couch? just friendly behavior. its not like he likes her or anything. bc hes gay right

anyway. theyre like, at a chinese restaurant picking up takeout for the gang and the cashier is just adorable. miss teen connecticut. the cutest girl ever. they both stutter their words and awkwardly fumble around while picking up this order. hunter almost dropped the food and luz signed her name as Liz Noda on the receipt

they get out of there and start laughing once they reach the car

“guess its bi disaster hour am i right?” hunter joked

luz laughed but then it hit her

“wait. you like girls?”

hunter looked at her confused, “yeah?”

“oh…” she trails off,

and hunter starts the car and drives off, not even giving the conversation a second thought

meanwhile luz is dead silent in the passenger seat like

she be rethinking everything agsjfjjhh

OKAY SECRET 3RD SCENARIO!

tboy!luz au :3

okay so luz is scared bc he’s finally worked out his gender. he’s a guy.

its what pushes him to break up with amity. its amicable at least

and so as luz moves on with his life, and starts falling for hunter, he’s scared hunter wont like him now bc he’s trans

and once hunter finds out about that, he’s putting a stop to it fast. like:

“dude. im bi. i dont care if youre a boy or a girl. youre luz. and i like luz.”

and they live happily ever after the end agajdjjg

[the-golden-comet]

You know I'm going to ask what the hell (affectionate) you were thinking when you came up with Lone Star Rangers <3

And you know hwhat, Jamie? I’ll answer it, gosh darn tootin! (affectionate) <3

I wanted to have a hot gay cowboy and was like “Hmmm but how can I make it more interesting? In space? Sure.”

I was playing Starbound and fell in love with the amount of lore building and thought that went into each race in that game and said, “Y’know…I can write a story around A Nova Cowboy and a Floran Alien.”

I wanted to try my hand at supernatural and intergalactic sci-fi, so it was an exercise of how to make a compelling narrative around said gay cowboy and gay plant alien. Sufficed to say, I think I have a good one a brewin’ 😏✨

Thank you for stopping by, dude! Come back to my ask inbox anytime you like 🫖✨

[priincebutt]

Nico!!! hello dear here's my request for the heart kiss thing

💙 drunken kiss / tipsy - liam/pez plz

send me a kiss, get a snippet

Liam loves the post-rodeo high. There’s something about the adrenaline rush of bull riding, feeling like you’re unstoppable and on top of the fucking world, that just leaves him spinning out after all of the events are over. He knows he should be exhausted – bull riding is a physical sport that leaves him sore and hurting for days after he competes, but it’s still the day of, and the pain hasn’t set in yet. So instead of sleeping, like he should be doing, he’s at the damn bar, fingers wrapped around a bottle of Coors light, listening with a wince on his face as some girl in a floral dress attempts to sing Carrie Underwood’s Before He Cheats on the mic provided for karaoke.

It’s not well known, but at the end of the day on Fridays at the Denver National Stock Show, down in the underbelly of the arena by the corralled cattle and sleeping horses, a karaoke bar pops up for those in the know, or those lucky enough to stumble upon it when they’re trying to find the parking lot. There’s probably thirty people in street clothes present, and a handful of riders like himself, and everyone seems tipsy enough. Hell, Liam’s on his third beer, and while he’s not drunk he’s definitely feeling the effects. The warmth coursing through him is lush, and he sips at the cool beer as his eyes scan the crowd, looking for anyone he knows or some one interesting enough to strike up a conversation with.

His boredom is relieved when a man in a fringed pink leather jacket sets an empty glass down on the bar beside Liam, orders a whiskey neat, and turns, letting his gaze rove from Liam’s worn, dusty boots up to the cowboy hat that sits atop his head at a minor tilt. He’s not subtle in his looking, and his full lips part in an easy smile as he leans against the bar, folds his arms over his chest and nods approvingly.

“See something you like?” Liam drawls, his Texas accent thick thanks to the beer. He’s never been subtle in who he loves, and while being a gay bull rider hasn’t been easy by any means, it’s worth fighting for who he is. He can’t imagine hiding himself away.

The man’s grin only widens, and he accepts the whiskey and stops the bartender. “What’s your shooter of choice?” He asks Liam. One of Liam’s eyebrows go up, and he steps in a little closer, intrigued.

“Tequila with salt and a lime.”

“You heard the man,” his companion chuckles darkly. “Two tequilas, though I might regret this in the morning.”

The bartender delivers the shots, and they clink their glasses together before licking the salt rim, downing the shot, then sucking on the lime. Liam manages to get the liquor down without wincing, and his new friend does the same, his features smooth as he then sips his whiskey like this is all in a day’s work. “I’m Percy,” he extends a hand, his fringe swishing at the motion, and Liam grins and accepts, shaking his warm hand fondly and nodding. “Liam,” he offers as he sips his beer to chase down the fire of the tequila.

“I knew you were gay,” Percy says as his head tilts and he looks up at Liam, who has a good few inches on him even in his shiny black heeled cowboy boots.

One of Liam’s brows arch, and he keeps his features schooled into neutrality at the statement. “What gave me away?”

“Well, you were the only cowboy wearing a pink shirt,” Percy says with a shrug. “And I just… knew. Sometimes you just know things, and it’s always a sweet victory when you’re right. Because you’re extremely hot, and I’m very glad I’ve run into you down at this little bar.”

Liam’s feeling bold thanks to the tequila. The shot is like liquid courage through his veins, and he crowds into Percy’s space, unthinking about the very real possibility that this virtual stranger might want nothing more to do with him than to say he met a bull rider and be on his way. “Well good thing for me you’re also hot,” Liam says as he finishes his beer and sets the empty bottle back on the bar. Percy’s looking up at him through his lashes now, in a way that has Liam absolutely losing it because it’s been a while since he’s gotten lucky and he thinks tonight just might be the night for it. “Do you want to come back to my hotel?” He asks, voice husky, emboldened by the look Percy’s giving him and the liquor.

There is no answer – Percy surges up on his toes and pulls him in by the collar. Their lips meet and Liam sighs into it, lets himself melt into this man he hardly knows, kisses him like there might not be a tomorrow. Percy is soft and pliant against him, and he tastes like smoky whiskey on a warm Texas night. He tastes like home, and Liam thinks he might go feral for it.

Liam pulls back, a lopsided grin on his lips, one hand at Percy’s waist and the other steadying them against the bar. “I take it that’s a yes?”

“Oh, that’s a fuck yes.”

[artdecosupernova-writing]

Badly Summarized WIP Tag

Thanks for the tag, @drabbleitout!

Rules: Summarize your WIPs as badly as possible in a poll without listing the names for others to vote on.

Tagging @drippingmoon, @sleepy-night-child, @zmwrites, @oh-no-another-idea, @space-writes, and anyone who wants to participate ✌🏽

[shipsgaysfordays]

for the @wolfstarmicrofic prompt mating, I had a really hard time trying to come up with a response, thought I would ignore this prompt, but then I thought about a joke from Doctor Who so I had to

I used the words: mating, cute, admirer, thirst, and lust

I never really do AU’s but I’ve seen people doing westerns lately and I wanted to see about doing that

“I just want a mate,” Remus sighed at the redhead next to him at the bar who he had recently been introduced to.

“You just want TO MATE?” Lily’s eyed were wide and hot like a million suns.

“No, I just want A MATE!”

“Well you’re not mating with me, cowboy!” Lily smashed her glass bottle on the floor, much to the amusement of the long black haired beauty passing by.

“A MATE, I just want A MATE, a friend,” Remus tried his might to emphasize his words.

Lily considered for a moment, about to say something, until the person behind her spoke.

“Wanna mate with me, darlin’?” The grey eyes stared into Remus’ soul, Remus prayed to anything up above that his soul wasn’t telling what his mind was yelling. YES, FUCK, OH GOD THEY’RE HOT AND COCKY, Remus blushed like the hottest of hot summer days.

Remus spaced out for what must have been eternity, because when his mind went back to his body Lily was hitting him over the head, “EARTH TO REMUS, are you with us?”

Remus pushed her away, “Yeah, yeah, stop hitting me. I’ve already got a headache, don’t wanna make it a concussion.”

“So his name is Remus,” the unfairly unnamed gorgeous cute gender-less being spoke.

“WHY are you still here?” Lily put her face in her hands, “WHY, I’d rather like to talk with my new mate without him falling mad in love.”

Remus coughed, “I’m…I’m doin’ just fine, they can, they can stay.”

“We could be a nice little trio, name’s Sirus,” Sirius held out their hand to Lily, she shook it, eyes squinting as she stared them down.

“I’m Lily, and as you already know, you’re little admirer is named Remus.”

Through the time that their exchange went on, a new barmaid started her shift. A beautiful green lacy dress that curved and showed quite a bit of the chest, she sauntered over to their corner of the bar.

“Y’all want any more drinks or refills?”

Lily stared.

Remus nudged her on the shoulder, “Yeah, I think my friend here’s quite a bit thirsty.”

Sirius chuckled as Lily shoved Remus back. She tapped along the counter, “Yeah, yeah I’d love a refill, and maybe an escape from these gay disasters.”

“Don’t think I can help you there, I’m probably just as bad if not worse,” the lady bit her lip, a lustful attempt at seducing the woman across from her.

“One of us, one of us!” Sirius and Remus started chanting enthusiastically, the bar maid (they later learned her name was Mary) joined in too, and exacerbated Lily ended up joining as well.

[mytastessuck]

The Residents: Commercial Album

Objectively one of the greatest works of art on the planet, The Commercial Album's development is almost as interesting as the music itself. The whole thing is another dig at Top 40 radio but with a twist: Every song is around one minute as a commercial jingle. As a stunt, the band purchased 40 minutes worth of advertising space on San Francisco's most popular radio station at the time, KFRC, to play the album's songs over and over again for three days. Art or advertising? Who cares when these lucky bastards got to listen to Margaret Freeman on their morning commute?!

Easter Woman

Yes, the perfect ad for a grieving service for your dead spouses! Excellent and ominous!

9/10

2. Perfect Love

Steady thumping beats about whatever you choose to be affectionate with. Perfect for a cock ring commercial.

7/10

3. Picnic Boy

Perfect for an anti-fat shaming PSA...or a chain of restaurants called Picnic Boy.

9/10

4. End Of Home

Eerie and sounds like an approaching intruder...perfect for a security alarm system!

8/10

5. Amber

Got a good western theme to it. Perfect for a cowboy-themed diaper commercial!

8/10

6. Japanese Watercolor

Vaguely far eastern. Perfect to advertise an art gallery!

8/10

7. Secrets

An almost childish melody to accentuate the anxiety of keeping a personal matter (interesting if you know Hardy Fox was gay). Perfect for an antivirus ad!

10/10

8. Die In Terror

Literally horrifying. Perfect tune to advertise any horror movie with. Even Hobgoblins.

10/10

9. Red Rider

Another western themed one. This is perfect to advertise a dude ranch with!

8/10

10. My Second Wife

A bouncy tune that's perfect for any spouse to enjoy! Perfect for advertising a divorce office.

7/10

11. Floyd

Probably the most Residents song on the album with heavy synth and poppiness used to drown out the odd lyrics. Perfect for advertising Taco Bell!

8/10

12. Suburban Bathers

A nice creepy tune about watching others...probably. Perfect for advertising real estate.

9/10

13. Dimples And Toes

A tune that calls to mind horses galloping. Perfect for the defunct chain store Toys R Us!

7/10

14. The Nameless Souls

A nice jingle that feels more like gossip than a song. Perfect for advertising a dating service!

8/10

15. Love Leaks Out

The group gets factory sex on us with machines imitated through their instruments. Perfect for advertising Pep Boys!

8/10

16. The Act Of Being Polite

Absolutely a path through madness. Perfect for advertising therapy services.

10/10

17. Medicine Man

Pounding basses (think that's what they are) accentuate a harmful jingle. Perfect for advertising hospitals!

8/10

18. Tragic Bells

Sounds like a dirge played after a wedding. Perfect for advertising funeral homes!

8/10

19. Loss Of Innocence

The reverb really helps the vocals on this one. Perfect for advertising the phone book!

9/10

20. The Simple Song

A song simple enough that kids can sing it to you while you try to sleep! Perfect for advertising Lionel's Coin Bank!

7/10

21. Up And Downs

Alternating pitches in the vocals really helps the sell the song's titles. Perfect for advertising Chutes And Ladders!

8/10

22. Possessions

A steady tune that never stops picking up throughout the song. Perfect to advertise Dasani to!

7/10

23. Give It To Someone Else

Fretful and anxious, definitely the song you want to pass to another ear like a hot potato. Perfect for advertising condoms!

9/10

24. Phantom

Creeping and threatening, like it was composed by Erik himself. Perfect for advertising Broadway!

7/10

25. Less Not More

Bubbly and fun. Perfect for advertising champagne!

8/10

26. My Work Is So Behind

A bunch of sudden stings make the horror in this song apparent. Perfect for advertising Staples!

9/10

27. Birds In The Trees

Is that a sitar? Sounds like it. Anyway, this is perfect for advertising a botanical garden!

9/10

28. Handful Of Desire

Plinky and sounds like something mice would compose in the church. Perfect for advertising Victoria's Secret!

8/10

29. Moisture

Nice and slippery, as befitting the title. Perfect for advertising Ikea.

9/10

30. Love Is...

You need the drums to have the ladies sing. You just do. This is perfect for advertising a bridal gown shop.

7/10

31. Troubled Man

A surprisingly stringent theme for a troubled song. Perfect for advertising adoption services!

8/10

32. La La

Still hearing a bit of the Western in this one. Did I mention I just left a farm? Anyway, this is perfect for advertising Woody's solo film.

7/10

33. Loneliness

Don't let the loudness fool you. This song encapsulates the melancholy perfectly. Perfect for advertising League Of Legends!

10/10

34. Nice Old Man

Creeping and jarring, like every old man! Perfect for advertising retirement homes!

8/10

35. The Talk Of Creatures

Mumbling of creatures inside you...the obvious advertisement choice for a vet!

9/10

36. Fingertips

Such gallantry that you expect from knighthood. Perfect for advertising Renaissance Faires!

7/10

37. And Between Dreams

Definitely what you hear before you go to sleep. Perfect for advertising a mattress store!

7/10

38. Margaret Freeman

My favorite song from the album so expect no bias when I say it's Andy Patridge's (Sally Sandwich's) best work and should be preserved for future generations to discover. Perfect for advertising Bailey's Ice Cream.

100/10

39. The Coming Of The Crow

Practically getting into metal at this point. Perfect for advertising a Ford truck.

10/10

40. When We Were Young

A perfect way to send you off...and perfect for advertising Power 99 FM.

8/10

Album score: 105/100

Next album is Mark Of The Mole. Hopefully the band will make it through it.

[chetillman]

chet tillman. ( written by ade ; he&him )

intro under the cut playlist / musings / threads / main

𝗂 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽 / 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗂 𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗁 𝗂 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗀𝗈 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄

𝖻𝖺𝗌𝗂𝖼𝗌.

𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾 ... chester 'chet' tillman 𝖺𝗀���� ... 47 𝖻𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗁𝖽𝖺𝗒 ... june 30th 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 ... cis man 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗇𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗌 ... he&him 𝗌𝖾𝗑𝗎𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒 ... gay 𝗈𝖼𝖼𝗎𝗉𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 ... ½ owner of lost horse saloon 𝖺𝖿𝖿𝗂𝗅𝗂𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 ... the cowboy mafia 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝗂𝗅𝗒 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 ... lucas tillman ( brother, deceased ) ; ( x ) tillman ( lucas' wife ) ; eric tillman ( brother ) ; joel aguilar ( partner ) 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝖼𝗅𝖺𝗂𝗆 ... jake gyllenhaal 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒 ... protective, charming, resentful, hot-headed, persistent, impulsive

𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍.

for someone who never really considered himself a family man, chet followed his younger brothers around absolutely everywhere. he was pretty useless around the things they did, though. it seemed like they had ranching in their blood while chet spooked every farm animal he ever approached. he’s always been jealous of their seemingly god-given talent, especially after they settled in paxton—tilly got himself a permanent gig at the blue rooster ranch and chet…well, chet got himself shit

his early beginnings in paxton were full of small side jobs, paid for handsomely because if there’s one thing he knows how to do is talking someone’s ear off until he gets them exactly where he needs them. excessively charming and full of can do attitude, chet quickly earned the reputation of that handsome devil who’ll fix you right up. home and car repairs, moving help, some work around the ranch, as long as no animals are involved, obviously—all you had to do was give chet a call

a steady, full-time job was not something chet was actively looking for but it still happened anyway, by way of falling in love. something he was definitely not looking for either. he met joel, owner of lost horse saloon, on a hot, august night—one of those nights when everything felt like it’s gone to shit and his life was turning into an absolute pile of dogshit. a connection formed over one too many drinks and chet only left the bar the next morning with a phone number and dinner plans 

even though chet quickly became very popular with the paxton community and was warmly welcomed into the town’s herd, he still didn’t feel like he belonged. he lacked purpose and people he could call his. tilly had his ranch work and chet had fucking nothing—until joel showed up and made space for chet in his life. another season passed and everyone started getting used to lost horse having two guys running it. tilly had his ranch and now chet had his bar

life became better then, clearer. he reached the type of stability he’s grown to crave with age. but there’s still a disruptive force looming over the somewhat picture-perfect life chet was trying to achieve—the cowboy mafia. both tilly and joel are involved with the group and chet would be lying if he said he never thought about joining himself. it was tempting at first, his fists itching to go back to being that guy who loved to cause trouble. but then he had to cover for his brother when some very suspicious men showed up at his doorstep one too many times. or he had to clean up joel’s wounds at three in the morning without asking any questions. all that made chet realize that he’d rather shoot his foot off than get involved in any of this. he has a criminal past—jail time and fines, parole officers, minor crimes, all of it, but he’d rather not add felonies to his resume. 

he realizes it’s a forever kind of thing for them, it’s not something they can just get out of but it doesn’t stop chet from suggesting that they sell their shit and move to some fuck-ass of nowhere town, as far away from paxton as they can get. joel lets chet make plans like that but then always reminds him that the cowboys are his family and you don’t leave family. chet knows something about that. if he could, he’d try to get tilly to leave with them. 

when tilly gets arrested, chet lands himself in a jail cell for getting into a fight with a cowboy. joel tells him he got lucky—insubordination like that should’ve gotten him something worse but being joel’s partner apparently has protection perks. same thing happens when tilly’s killed—chet goes absolutely unhinged, finds charlie and gives him a piece of his mind. he punches a couple of hands, makes a scene in the middle of town, curses the entire organisation out, gets picked up by the cops and put in a cell to sober up and calm down. he and joel don’t speak for a week after that and take forever to recover from the fight they have after those seven days of silence. 

even though charlie is no longer in charge, chet’s still on rocky terms with the cowboys. he knows that everyone agrees that tilly getting sent to jail was a set up, but he still holds the cowboys responsible for his brother’s death and refuses to let it go. he tries not to let it show, though. with pleasantries spoken through gritted teeth, he serves them at the bar, asks them about their days. they talk about tilly often and it always takes chet’s entire willpower not to throw hands again. 

chet’s changed since tillman’s death. his adolescent, hot-headed personality has made a comeback. he acts first and thinks later; he’s grown reckless, ignorant of consequences, willing to forgo logical thinking if it gets the job done. grief has made him prone to picking a fight with absolutely everyone, even if he knows that it’s not going to end well for him. his drive to self-destruct has made his life miserable but chet can’t just drop it.

𝗉𝗅𝗈𝗍 𝖺𝗋𝖼.

chet’s been playing nice—or at least pretending to—with the cowboy mafia mostly for joel’s sake. he knew what he signed up for when they got together and he was fine with his partner’s involvement with the group. not exactly supportive, not overly disapproving, just fine. same thing went for tilly. chet’s no stranger to outlaw life, he’s spent most of his early adulthood on the wrong side of tracks so he’s definitely not one to talk. his neutral feelings obviously take a turn after his brother’s death, though. it becomes difficult to just sit back and watch the cowboys do their thing while his brother lies buried six feet under and joel goes out and risks his life for the same people that let tilly die. chet wants to do something but he’s not sure what the best way to deal damage. he knows that obsidian holdings are circling, should he sell the cowboys out? joel admittedly keeps chet in the dark about a lot of things the cowboys do but there’s still an in for him to find some things out. chet is reluctant about working against the cowboy mafia but every single time he thinks about his dead brother, his blood start’s boiling and there’s only one target he puts the blame on. chet loves his brother too much not to do something to avenge his death.

[tyrannosaurus-trainwreck]

In the unholy year of our bastard 2023, can we please for the love of jeebus stop writing romance stories that feature “but I’m not gay!” when our plucky protagonists feel some nascent stirring of same-sex attraction?

Like, no shit you’re not gay, Plucky Protagonist!  You would hopefully have noticed that by now, in your long and storied career of having cowboy times in space with people who aren’t the same gender as you!

What you might be, now that you’ve come face to face with a person of the same gender who actually does it for you amongst the apparently wide and endless sea of same-gender people who don’t do it for you even a little bit to the point that you’ve never once in your life had this conversation with yourself, is Not Completely 100% Straight!

“But I can’t be attracted to this incredibly hot guy,” Plucky Protagonist cried. “I, a dude, am Completely 100% Straight!  Being attracted to another man would make me Not Completely 100% Straight!  How can this be?  Did my excellent grades in Being Straight Class at my city’s Magnate School for the Heterosexual Arts mean nothing?”

I’m going to lift the veil of secrecy for a second and let y’all take a quick peek behind the curtain: Bisexual and pansexual people exist!  In fairly large numbers, even!  Sexual attraction is actually no more of a binary than gender is!

If you don’t want to explore that, or you want to emphasize just how wildly special and unique this particular attraction between these two people is for one or both of them, that’s fine. “Holy shit, I thought I was straight, but my attraction to you has transcended the gender-time continuum and broken my warp core!” is a perfectly acceptable substitute that doesn’t make you sound like your story accidentally got beamed in from some terrible and boring alternate reality where straight and gay are the only two options available.

If you want to explore it a little, or if you don’t actually want the particular attraction between Plucky Protagonist and Love Interest to have a kind of fated-lovers ‘I would die for you across a thousand lifetimes’ vibe, most grown adults who are into multiple genders are aware of it and have been aware of it for some time.

Luckily for you, author who is aware that sexual attraction is not a binary, there are plenty of grown adults who are into multiple genders who haven’t had a lot of experience with the practical side of being into the same gender for whatever reason. Sometimes that’s a series of monogamous relationships with people of a different gender, or a rarefied/99.5%-het social scene.  Sometimes that’s them being a bit of a wallflower and inexperienced with relationships in general.  Sometimes that’s them having a Very Specific Type when it comes to being attracted to people of the same gender and having never run into someone who fits the bill in a flirting-appropriate environment. 

There are literally dozens of common ways to make Plucky Protagonist flounder a bit as they launch into their courtship display that don’t involve them trying to decide which isn’t real--this current attraction or their entire previous romantic history--and sounding like an idiot the entire time.  Truly, nature is a splendid cornucopia.

[firstdegreefangirl]

January 2023 Reading Wrap-Up

I'm trying something new this year, where I make little mini-reviews for the books I read and share them at the end of the month. There might be a few spoilers, but I'm not dissecting plots here, and it's all for good fun and games. Summaries will be up here, breakdowns by book will be under the drop.

Let me know if there's anything that caught your eye/that you enjoyed too/that made your TBR!

Here we go!

Total books read: 10 

Total pages read: 3,103 

Days read: 29/31 

Average star rating: 3.93 

Challenge Prompts Filled: 5 total. Popsugar: 2/40. Romanceopoly: 2/36. CRAD: 1/12. 

How to Keep House While Drowning by K.C. Davis  ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  I don’t want to be the person who’s all “this self-help book changed my life,” but … this self-help book changed my life. For the first time since I moved out, I wouldn’t be mortified if someone dropped by unannounced, and it feels like keeping my house functional is actually something I can achieve. This book helped me break down tasks and changed the rhetoric I use for household upkeep to break the shame cycles that people have around disorganization. It wasn’t really the plan to make this the first book I read, but I knocked it out in like three hours on New Year’s Day, and it’s left me convinced that this is the year I might finally be able to make my space something that works for me. Biggest takeaway: My space should work for me, I should not work for my space. 

Built to Last by Erin Hahn  ⭐⭐⭐(¾)  This was cute! I picked it up from the new additions shelf at my local library because the cover was cute (sue me, I judge books by their covers, blame the Legally Blonde Musical, but I digress). It’s second-chance friends to lovers, but I loved learning how Shelby and Cameron find their ways back to each other. The only reason I didn’t rate it higher is because I don’t think I’d read it again. It was fun, I liked it a lot, but it’s not something that’s going to stick with me forever and ever, y’know? 

Challenge Prompt: Romanceopoly Amour Avenue (read a contemporary romance with an illustrated cover) 

Playing the Palace by Paul Rudnick  ⭐⭐⭐(¼)  I found this at my favorite Salvation Army store while I was Christmas shopping last month (and no, the irony of finding a gay romance novel at SA is not lost on me) and left it at a Little Free Library after I finished reading. The writing was good, the story checked out, but it didn’t hook me quite as well as some of the other books I’ve read in a similar vein. Prince Edgar was delightful, the Queen was by FAR my favorite part of the book, but Carter grated on my nerves in a few places. Overall, glad to have knocked it off my TBR, and I hope that whoever picks it up next loves it more than I did.  

 The Wedding Crasher by Mia Sosa  ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  I’m so glad that I finally got through to reading this book! Given that I pre-ordered for release day last year, it’s been a hot minute, but here we are. I read and adored the prequel (The Worst Best Man) and was excited to hear there’d be another book in the series, but I kept putting it off because I was afraid it wouldn’t live up to the hype I’d created for myself. I was wrong; it absolutely did. This was laugh-out-loud funny in places, and sure made a few night shifts go by faster. I read close to half of it in the first sitting, right after I finished PtP, and surprised both my trainee and my GM by the fact that I can actually read overnight without falling asleep, especially for hours at a time. I dunno, it’s hard to fall asleep when the books are this riveting.  

Challenge Prompt: Chantel Reads All Day January (a book with ‘a’ or ‘the’ in the title) 

Straightforward by Martin Parnell  ⭐⭐(¾)  Honestly I’m still not sure if I liked this one or not, so I know I didn’t like it well enough to be any more than three stars. I got the eBook for free, because I was intrigued by the overarching question: Can a straight country cowboy and an effervescent gay man be friends? The first third-ish dragged on, then I read the last 2/3 in a single sitting, finishing at 5 a.m. curled up in bed because all of a sudden I was dying to know how it ended. I … didn’t love the ending, at least at first (unrequited love isn’t usually my thing, but the ending wasn’t inherently unhappy), but I keep thinking about if I liked it or not, so maybe I do? I don’t know. It wasn’t what I expected, and the writing style wasn't remarkable. It felt like the story might have been building toward a plot twist that never came, but the ending did feel tied down and well rounded. I loved that Cowboy Ty’s first sentence was “Goddammit! Shit piss motherfucker hell goddammit!” if only because that feels so relatable for many days in my own life.  

Ship Wrecked by Olivia Dade  ⭐⭐(½)  I didn’t enjoy this. You might, but it wasn’t for me. I wanted to like it, but I didn’t. The writing style is fine, the story was … alright, I suppose, but I didn’t like the characters. Again, to each their own, but I was irritated with both MC’s by the middle of the story, and almost DNF’d 60 pages from the end.  

The Line Becomes a River by Francisco Cantu  ⭐⭐⭐⭐(½)  I wanted a break from contemp romance after the last two books, so I turned to the nonfic section on my shelf, and I’ve been meaning to read this for literally over a year. It was one of the books I put in my “$5 for anything that fits in this bag” library sale bag in fall of 2021, and sounded like an interesting take on immigration policies. This book made me cry, openly, at work, in front of my trainee, at 5 a.m.. It’s that good, that moving. There were definitely some parts that changed my perspective on policy issues, and I’m wholeheartedly recommending it to anyone looking for firsthand accounts of the government side of border policies. Even if it’s a little outdated, it definitely gave me some things to think about. 

Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren  ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  23 ½ hour read time. I was hooked by the first page, and spent most of the first sitting trying to decide if I should keep reading to find out what happens next or slow down so I could savor it all. Ended up reading over half of it the first time, and finishing it on my shift the next night. This was the first I’ve read by Christina Lauren, but if it’s all this good, I’ll definitely be back for more. Hands down the funniest book I’ve read all year. Toward the end, we brushed up a little bit against one of the tropes I generally don’t much care for, but CL handled it beautifully and it ended up making a beautiful, heartfelt wrap-up. This year, the goal is to unshelf books I own if I don’t see myself reading them a second time, but I’d made up my mind on keeping this one before I finished the prologue. There’s no WAY I won’t be rereading!  

Challenge Prompt: Popsugar – A book that you think your best friend would like 

The Boardwalk Bookshop by Susan Mallery  ⭐⭐⭐⭐(½)  Honestly, I’m not even sure why I picked this one up when I did. I ordered it from BookDepository AGES ago (the UK cover is prettier than the US one, and I’ll die on this hill), but then it got put on my shelf and left to ferment. But like a fine wine (a theme in the book), it was fantastic when I finally cracked it open. I wasn’t sure how I’d like a story balancing three romances across one plot, but everyone’s story was riveting in its own way and they fit together so well! 40 pages from the end, I said out loud “there’s no way they’ll be able to resolve everything,” but I was so wrong. Three for three on the HAE, which is exactly how I take my romance novels, with a hearty dose of friendship and family dynamics along the way. Susan Mallery has long been one of my favorite authors, and this was a friendly reminder of exactly why.  

No Mercy (A Valerie Law FBI Suspense Thriller - Book One) by Blake Pierce  ⭐⭐⭐  Thrillers aren’t usually so much my thing, but I like reading outside of my usual taste, and I was looking for something short to round out the month. This is under 200 pages, and the FBI element sparked my fancy, since I am a huge fan of crime dramas. It was … alright? Not painful to read, by any means, but it fell a little flat for me in places. Maybe the rest of the series will pick up, but I don’t think I’m curious enough to find out. That said, there are worse things I could have spent three days reading. 

Challenge Prompts: Popsugar – The shorted book (by pages) on your TBR); Romanceopoly Slueth Street (read a thriller or mystery where one of the main characters are a detective or private investigator) 

DNF: Our First Puck by Kat Obie 

[xamaxenta]

More thoughts on how unrestrainedly gay Marco is for goth cowboy Ace

—

The second time Marco meets Ace is when the crew is coming to the venur to have a look over, check the space and let him know what they can and can’t do for the show.

He’s waiting by the backstage doors, leaned up against the brick facade smoking casually when the van emblazoned with BANDIT VFX rolls into the parking lot. It’s black with fire decals and he should’ve known who owned said vehicle when Ace gets out of the passenger side seat.

He wishes in hindsight that he had worn some kind of accessory to hide his face, some sunglasses or maybe a face mask because resident hot goth Portgas D Ace happens to be shirtless.

Shirtless and jogging up to him from the length of the wheelchair access ramp, heavy pectorals bouncing distractedly, dog tags and beaded necklaces clinking together and Marco drops the butt of his cig, stomps on it particularly hard to get rid of his sudden surge of emotion at the sight of the other man.

“Hey.” Ace says without a single note of hesitation, but before Marco can reply with his own greeting, too focused on the sweat dripping dripping down the hollow of his freckled throat, Ace shoulders past him and through the backstage doors.

“S’rry bout that. He’s excited.” Dadan speaks up and Marco glances back from the swinging door Ace had just passed through to watch them walk up the stairs at a much more sedate pace than her employee.

“Can’t really keep up with you youngn’s with this bum ass knee.” Dadan grouses and she drops her own cigarette onto the butt littered floor and Marco snuffs it out for her with the heel of his shoe.

“Bum knee.” He repeats when Dadan looks down at him with a look burning in her beady eyes.

“Shut it, Yall’re beginning to sound like my quack these days.”

Marco wants to politely raise the point that maybe theres a reason for this but wisely keeps his mouth shut and instead opens the door for them instead.

“Thanks.” Dadan grumbles and together they trudge through the back halls of the concert venue until they end up on the big stage where Ace has already got to work, walking the length of the stage, whistling and tossing a tape measurer cassette up and catching it with his right hand, the repetitive clack of hard plastic hitting the metal of his many rings is ridiculously sexy. Marco mentally makes a note to go jerk off when he’s back at the hotel, must be mad pent up for that to get under his skin.

Then Ace turns on his shiny booted heel, drawing out a length of metal tape between his left forefinger and thumb when he spots them across the stage. Releasing the little tab, Ace allows the tape to whisk back inside its casing as he swaggers back across the stage, pocketing the tape as he does.

“God put a shirt on would ya?” Dadan grouses beside the singer and what Marco had initially thought was a rag looped through her tool belt was in fact a washed out yellow shirt. Marco watches her toss the shirt towards the other man, mouth dry when Ace snatches it out of the air, again that was way more sexy that it shouldve been.

Marco would happily watch the contraction and relaxation of those biceps any day when Ace shrugs on the shirt, clears his throat a little louder than necessary when said shirt catches at Ace’s elbows and he has to arch his back (those fucking tits god.) in order to shimmy it on properly.

“Can I help you?” Ace asks him pointedly when hes done, not even bothering to button up the threadbare shirt. The peek of washboard abs and the heavy shadow his pecs cast has Marco daydreaming already when Ace waves a hand in front of his face.

“Dude.” Ace snaps his fingers and Marco comes back from gay lalaland and refocuses on the younger man slowly.

“You good?“ Ace glances him once over, Marco refrains from preening or whatever that did NOT mean anything, a once over did not equal to he’s checking you out. Not at all.

“Yeah.” Marco finally grits out and Dadan cackles beside him, thumps her meaty palm against the small of his back, almost sending the singer flying off the stage from the force.

“Right show us what ya got for us blondie.”

[denimtrashcanfire]

mmmmmmmm art block writing time ig

no beta we die like johnny when he got a lil too warm

uhh jally fluff idk like 715 words mm happee your honor 

tw: Gay People.

The night was cold with the harsh winds surrounding Cade, biting at the skin exposed under his ragged jean jacket collar. He held the rough material closer to his body trapping the diminishing warmth.

“Cade? That you?” He jumped at the voice and stared into the direction of the sound cracking a slight smile. He knew the voice already knew the answer.

“Hey Dal, what’re you doin’ out? Buck kick you out again?’ Johnny whispered, warm smoke leaving his lips. The approaching figure of Winston appeared in the light of the small, weak campfire light. Illuminating every strand of greasy hair, every scar on his high cheekbones and every spot of stain on the warm leather jacket surrounding his tall frame. Dallas looked warm, unlike his usual frigid crude persona. He held in all the heat from the burning twigs in his eyes, turning them a warm deep blue. His broken cracked lips stuck in a soft smile like the brutal winter never affected him, he looked at peace despite the crumbling leaves all around him. 

“Eh, nah couldn't sleep man.”

“Oh” Dallas blinked at his simple response. He mindlessly kicked a leaf into the flame, carrying the flame for a short while. Dallas sat next to Johnny against the cold fabric of the old car seat.

“Yah know kid, I knew you’d be here.” Dallas frowned to himself, Johnny huffing at the nickname. “You know the Curtis’ would have let you stay, Hell even Two-Bit would have snuck you in.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you here Johnnycakes?” Dallas huffed. Johnny looked up at the night sky, the hues of the sunset having faded a while ago it was just dark, pitch black. Maybe a few stars every once in a while. But mostly dark. “John?” Dal questioned reminding the scrawny freezing greaser of his presence. Johnny did not forget the warmth next to him. 

“I don't know,” Johnny winced. “felt safer I guess, felt cold.” he heaved out blowing on the warm mist in the air. Dal slung a heavy arm around him huddling him closer to his body warmth like they had sometimes done on cold nights in the Curtis house. Nothing out of the ordinary. 

“Come on Cade,” Dal roughed him up in a noogie before standing off and patting the dirt off his jeans. “You should have seen my rodeo last week man-” Johnny cut him off quietly whispering

“I saw.” Dallas quickly glanced at him, smiling pretending he didn't hear.

“I was lookin’ real tuff kid, really made Buck proud with that one eh?” Dallas didnt let him answer, Johnny preferred listening anyway. “Get up kid! Your cowboy made bank, payin’ rent this week, Buck aint letting me crash without rent no more.” He would never had admitted this in any other company, it may tarnish his tuff exterior, but Cade was different.

The Merrill Bar sign flickered in the frozen air, the only light on besides the glow of Dallas’ shitty little two room shelter. A small rusty kitchenette area with colorful tile borders, and two steps down the ‘stairs’ from old tile to dirty carpet. A bathroom door to the right and a warm old living area, a small tv pressed up against the space next to the steps with the curtis’ old couch facing it, significantly more torn since moving to dallas’ roof. And a mattress in the corner inviting the two boys to the warmth under the covers being shined on by the cracks in the curtain. 

“Come on John you're goin’ to freeze.” Dallas said letting Johnny take the side pressed up against the wall before climbing in shortly after. “You can stay as long as you don't kick me in your sleep again man,” Dallas laughed with Johnny huddled under the covers with the untouched body heat of the other boy.

“G’nite Dal,” Johnny whispered from the shadows of the room. Dallas smiled and slung a welcoming warming arm around him again. Johnny had forgotten all about the cold just behind the door in the old disgusting motel room, the room was hot, Johnny had never felt such warmth in any other place quite like Dals shitty apartment. The heat felt safe.

[rpmemes-galore]

iconic vines for the nostalgia my dudes ... sentence starters

“Merry crisis.”

“I can’t swim.”

“I smell like beef.“

“That was legitness.“

“Come get y’all juice.“

“Chipotle is my liiiiiife.”

“He needs some milk!“

“What are thooooose?”

“Hi, welcome to Chili's.”

“What the FUCK is up??”

“(Name), is that a WEED?”

“That’s why you’re my bud.”

“It's a avocadooo... thanks.”

“Look at all those chickens!“

“And they were roommates!”

“I wanna be a cowboy, baby!”

“Bitch, I hope the fuck you do.“

“I brought you Myrrh... Mur-dur!“

“’Pretty cute’? I’m a GODDESS.”

“I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me!”

“Oh my god, they were roommates!”

“How much did you pay for that taco?“

“Lipstick? In my Valentino white bag?!“

“You try’na fight? Hold my breadsticks!”

“A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee.“

“Stoooop! I coulda dropped my croissant!”

“Who opened that? Devil car! DEVIL CAR!”

“What's better than this? Guys bein dudes.“

“Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal!“

“I burnt my entire house to the ground, so…”

“This is the dollar store, how good can it be?“

“I look good in black and I’m willing to suffer.”

“Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?“

“What the fuck, is this allowed? Is this allowed?”

“I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger.”

“Road work ahead? Uh yea, I sure hope it does.“

“I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets.“

“My resting heart rate registers as a panic attack.”

“I’m an adult. I do grownup things. Independence.”

“So, I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties.“

“I thought you were bae… turns out you’re just fam.”

“Mothertrucker, dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick.“

“I love you, bitch. I ain't never gonna stop lovin' you, bitch.“

“Oh, hi. Thanks for checking in. I’m still a piece of garbage!”

“I ate half a stick of butter… for breakfast. So, it’s pretty bad.”

“This is your space, this is your area, she can't do that to you.“

“Two brooos chillin’ in a hot tub, 5 feet apart ‘cuz they're not gay.”

“My liver says ‘Thank God’, but my heart says ‘please… not yet’.”

“All these ghosts, ALL these ghosts… and I still can’t find a boo. “

“What up, I'm (name), I'm 19, and I never fucking learned how to read.“

“Go to Del Taco. They got a new thing called freesha-freesha-vaca-do.”

“Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog... RUFF. You know?"

“Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looord.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t see you there. I was too busy, hmmm, blocking out the haters.”

“Next time you put your fuckin' hands on me, imma fuckin' rip your face off, bitch.“

“When will you learn? When will you learn that your actions have consequences!?“

“Why the fuck you lyin’? Why you always lyin’? Mmmm, oh my god, stop fucking lyin’!”

“I’m not a cake face. I’m an ice cream cake face. Under this thick cosmetic frosting, is my cold interior.”