#like honestly the video was really gay don’t get me wrong

[evermorepeyton]

i love the video, i’ve already rewatched it three times Today what can i say

i’ve seen some people saying there was something “off” or “uncomfortable” about it. i can’t relate like im having a blast.

i honestly don’t know what people expect from them, sure dan’s complimented phil many times unprovoked and that’s lovely, but i understand how it can be a bit too much to just do it on camera so directly.

the camera’s on and it’s hard for them to not be a tiny bit like no homo. when that was all they did for years in front of the public. old habits die hard especially when it’s a habit that probably caused them so much anxiety for so long.

imagine being like this is my friend my buddy my roommate for years and trying to deny anything else but constantly being told that no one believes you, so it becomes even more frustrating, and then all of a sudden you both come out and it’s been a few years and it should be okay now, but it’s still a little bit weird (which if you’ve programmed yourself to act a certain way for years, formative ones too, and you’re now going against it, it should be). how is he supposed to look at this man and be like “phil you are the most beautiful man to have ever walked on planet earth”? or whatever you wanted from him.

and still, despite all of that, they’ve managed to make the gayest videos ever since post hiatus. so how is it uncomfortable if they aren’t like sitting on top of each other or something in front of the camera? (and also like they just might someday but not because a card says it)

like i made jokes about it myself because i found it funny that when people don’t ask it from him he will say something like “you looked lovely phil” or point his way when he hears the phrase “beautiful but dense” or whatever. so he’s not incapable of it, it was just a little uncomfortable because they were playing a couples game which they haven’t done before and he’s probably already hyper aware of everything he’s saying, on top of that he’s supposed to be like omg phil you have the most beautiful blue eyes or whatever???

let him post his little ocean blue eyes story and we can all freak out about it, like we do. it’s honestly more than enough. and this video is fantastic to me, what can i say

[ceratedfish24]

I’m once again here to talk about Scottho because something is WRONG with them.

We love to joke about Etho’s obsessions with Bdubs and Joel, but we don’t talk enough about the fact that Etho is SO comfortable with Scott for someone who doesn’t hang out with Scott much as far as we get to see. If you look at the escape room videos he’s in and some of his life series videos, you can hear that Etho’s very confident that he knows Scott well. He really enjoys joking around with Scott and doesn’t act as embarrassed around Scott as he sometimes does with other people.

Scott is not someone who a lot of the lifers pay close attention to, seeing as he’s not as hostile as a lot of the other lifers tend to be, but Etho very clearly pays close attention to Scott. He recognizes how good Scott is in the Life Series. He knows that Scott is a threat to be taken seriously. He has known that Scott’s a threat for a long time relative to the other life series players who got to know Scott through the life series. Additionally, I don’t think Scott has noticed this?? He always seemed a little taken aback whenever Etho read him like a book during Secret Life.

Etho has a lot of respect for Scott, which does make a lot of sense considering that Scott and Cleo are very similar and Etho has a lot of respect for Cleo. Scott is also close with Gem, who Etho has been roasted by enough times to know not to cross her, and I think he kind of applies that level of respect to Scott, too? Scott’s very witty and loves to tease his friends, but he very rarely teases Etho, yet Etho always seems to want to impress Scott. He approaches Scott with the same playfulness that he treats Cleo and Gem with, which is strange because Etho and Scott so hardly interact. They must talk a lot outside of videos or something, because they’re just so comfortable towards each other.

Additionally, it did something to me when, after Limited Life, where Scott and Etho were neighbors, Etho requested to be put on an MCC team, and Scott put Etho on his own team. Scott was so determined to make sure that Etho had a good time that he put the matter in his own hands, and Etho did have a good time. My gay little heart. Killing them with my mind.

P.S. I think Etho should get more obsessed with Scott. I think Scott should throw his hat in the “homosexually obsessed with Etho” ring, because Joel knows Scott too well and would make great competition while Bdubs is TERRIFIED of Scott for a thousand reasons. It would be so funny. And Scott is neutral about horses. He would be a perfect middle of the road addition to the “there is no heterosexual explanation for this” Etho obsessed men. Scott’s not on Hermitcraft (though he honestly is qualified to be in my opinion but I understand if he would rather focus on the many mini series he likes to partake in), but he is a chronic stream lurker, especially in the chats of people “he canonically had a qpr with” (Martyn’s words not mine)(don’t talk to me about majorwood stream moments)(i’ll get a nose bleed).

[foldingfittedsheets]

So on my little condom prank video there’s a couple comments that I’m like, okay, well that’s not technically true but it was funny to me at the moment.

Like I joked that I don’t need condoms cause I’m gay, but condoms are great especially for sharing toys or turning into dental dams with new partners.

But one joke I make is at the expense of one particular lady I dealt with. I say that she told me her boyfriends penis was too big for condoms. And honestly, that can happen! The base band can be really tight and uncomfortable if it’s the wrong size. So if someone says the condom is too tight they probably need more lube (which is just all the time a good idea, especially on the inside to prevent tearing), or a bigger size.

However this lady. Starts telling me how they get the Magnums but the condoms just slip around off his dick because he’s so big. I’m sitting there listening trying to be like, if a condom is slipping then the condom is too big..? It shouldn’t do that?

This lady was having none of it, insisting to me that adding lube made it worse (obviously) and that they kept trying bigger and bigger condoms to no avail. Honestly I thought she’d been gaslit into forgetting how size worked.

It was like being subjected to an internet troll except that she was a thousand percent earnestly insisting that the only solution would be a condom the size of a trash bag.

[sunriize]

you know, he won’t

anton x fem!reader

warnings: (his name is mentioned once so you can very much imagine anyone else in his position) angst angst angsttttttt, mention of period, cussing, questioning his sexuality and damn its just angst guys. fluff if u squint and face away from ur screen👍(proofread but take it w a grain of salt its 5.20am rn)

your relationship with anton was complicated. it seems crazy to say that because you were dating him —have been for years. you knew you loved him, or else you wouldn’t have stayed all those years. it was just how he treats you.

he didn’t treat you badly, you dont think he was even capable of doing so, he was just… so, absent minded? inattentive rather. he just never paid attention. of course theres the cute things that he does like, buying you a fresh bouquet of flowers every weekend, or buying you snacks when you’re on your period. but it was never your favourites, it was never fresh smelling hyacinth, the only flower you found yourself obsessing over, or your favourite bitter-tasting dark chocolate. you remember listing these early on into dating, thinking he would’ve atleast noted it down, but, nothing.

it was all trivial at the end of the day, you know he loves you… he just has an odd way of showing it, you guess. his love was never accommodated to you, he loved you the way he wanted to, there’s nothing wrong with that, you think, but you just wish you could be loved the way you wanted, you wish you could morph him into your perfect man. which sucks, because you knew he was good for you, you knew you loved him, you just wished he was better.

you tried to accept him for what he truly is —distant. but sometimes it hurts? not being able to receive what you want from this relationship knowing he receives what he wants. you know he loves you but why won’t he show it? properly.

you want to hold him in the night, you want to caress his hair to relieve his stress, you want to jump up and down excited with him, you want to love him, but you just, can’t. you can’t look at him without feeling resentment, without feeling like you’re the problem, and sometimes you are, you can admit that, but this.. this is different, its not a fight, its not a disagreement nor is it an argument. you just don’t feel loved, the way you want at least. this makes you feel selfish, but he’s the one being loved, not you. you know that he knows you feel like this, but he won’t do anything about it. you know he loves you, but he wont show it.

he makes you feel disgusting, like you’re unlovable —or rather unworthy of love. but you know he loves you.

it hurts, honestly, it really fucking hurts. you see how he acts with his friends, how he’s comfortable with initiating skinship with them, how he gets excited around them, how he remembers little things about them. honestly? sometimes you think he’s gay.

maybe this is all out of jealousy, but you’re his girlfriend, he just doesn’t fucking act like it.

for some reason, even though you know it’s not your fault, you cant help but feel guilty and tear up at these thoughts, he’s your boyfriend, you’re meant to love him wholeheartedly. and you did, but thats exactly the problem, you did.

maybe, you truly just loved him.

a/n: guys i’ve never been in a relationship i have no clue where this angst came from 👍 also im ngl the whole time writing this i felt like i was in that one sad video, daddy is the sweetest in the world, daddy wants me to be the best, i love my daddy, but…. but he lies 😭😭😭 guys did i eat w the fic name yes or naurrrrrr 🫦

[willalove75]

stop simping over women and pay attention to your husband. You clearly made your choice to be with a man and have his child rather than choose a woman. You bisexual women don’t get to exist in lesbian spaces when you lean towards men. Unless your husband lets to you step out on your marriage or lets you have delusional thoughts that any lesbian would want a woman knocked up by a man. You bisexual women who lean more towards men or are with men have no right to be in sapphic or lesbian spaces. And lady d is a lesbian so as if she would be with someone who let a man touch them let alone knock them up.

Oh, I'm sorry, did my husband tell you that I'm not giving him enough attention? Didn't think so.

Yes, I made a choice to be with him, because I fell in love with him. Because he's my best friend and my biggest supporter in everything I do (yes, he even supports my writing and fics and he tells me often how proud he is of me). I did not chose him because he's a man. Truthfully, his gender had absolutely nothing to do with why I married him. I just happened to fall in love with and marry a man, but that does NOT make me any less of a bisexual woman.

"You bisexual women..." and people question whether or not bi-erasure is a thing, meanwhile, this entire ask is such a great example of just that😒

"delusional thoughts that any lesbian would want a woman knocked up by a man." is truly offensive to not only every bi woman who has been with a man, but any woman who has. What about the lesbians that got pregnant by men?? Because this may come as a shock to you, but it does happen. It may not happen a lot or often, but it does. Does that mean that those women are "tainted" or "ruined" also??? No it fucking doesn't, you idiot.

It really makes me laugh when people try and use a fictional character to make a real life argument. You want to know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT FUCKING REAL!!! So honestly, you have absolutely no idea if that's true or not because she's a fake fucking character from a video game. Are you also this upset at the fic writers who make her trans??? Or what about fic writers that make Alcina's partner trans??? Or are you just that much of biphobic person and this is the hill you're choosing to die on?? Either way, you're an actual bigot.

This post just SCREAMS biphobia and bi-erasure and it's fucking gross. You are so very obviously projecting your own issues and insecurities in this and honestly I would be embarrassed if I were you. Because not a single thing you said is true AT ALL or holds any merit.

Bisexual women who lean towards men or who are with men ABSOLUTELY do belong in those spaces. Just because a bisexual woman is married/with a man or leans towards men does not discredit or change their sexuality. No bi person automatically becomes straight if they date/marry the opposite gender or become gay/lesbian if they date/marry the same gender. It's called BIsexual. More than one gender. You do not get to invalidate every bi person with this shitty (and inherently wrong) opinion.

I know you wrote this trying to get a rise out of me, and congratulations because you succeeded. But I also know that people like you leave messages like this because they feel so broken and hurt and shitty that they want others to feel like that too. Unfortunately for you, I grew up in the era that birthed anonymous hate messages so you'll have to try harder next time. Not only that, but I am proud and confident in who I am and no pathetic anonymous (especially anonymous, you pussy) message is going to shake me.

I am a proud bisexual woman. I am proud to be married to my husband. I am proud that I will soon be the mother of a little boy who I will raise to be a much better person than you'll ever be. I am proud of what I've written and no, I will not stop.

[rowanraven08]

Unsolicited tma rant no one asked for:

I’ve been thinking a bit about exactly what makes me like the Magnus archives so much, cause I’m not really into horror anthology. Yeah, it’s a good aspect of the genre, but it’s never really caught my interest that much. And I consider myself a fan of horror, but I don’t actually like that many horror movies that much. I like it as a genre, and watching video essays about it, about how different horror affects us, that sort of thing. Horror doesn’t even make me scared usually. I’ll flinch at jump scares of course, but it’s pretty rare that I’m watching a horror movie and be genuinely afraid of the murderer or demon or whatever’s on screen.

Tma even took me a while to get into. I started it maybe in October or November? And it took me until January to get even a dozen episodes in. It was good, but I was really just waiting until it got to the good bits that made everyone love it so much. I knew there was some sort of meta plot, and had a cannon gay ship, that was all I knew when I started, and the reason I kept on with it. I hate to say it, but if I didn’t know even that, I don’t think I would have listened to more than a couple episodes, because short self contained stories isn’t what I’m interested in. Especially when there’s a magic Latin book and a coffin with knocking (I thought it would be a vampire or something) or some weird thing luring people into alleys to kill them. I took those early episodes to be generic devil worship sort of horror, that the weird details were added in just to add to the spook. That’s something that tends to bother me with horror movies, when there’s all this dark magic just for the sake of dark magic, and ends with this big question or realization that can’t be solved. And I do understand ending movies with something the audience can’t understand, because the mystery and strangeness can add to the horror. But I really dislike this, I’m all cool with hard or impossible to understand endings, don’t get me wrong, but when there’s no way to theorize, no dots to start connecting, I find that really frustrating. A good example (I can’t find what movie it is, so if someone know lmk) is a movie with the classic family moves into large old house, creepy basement, with satanic sort of imagery. I did actually like most of it, the stairs to the basement were normal, until there was a ball knocked down them when the light was off, and you could hear it keep going far longer than the actual staircase was. That these stairs kept going for who knows how long when the light is off. What I didn’t like was the end, where we got to see what was at the bottom of these endless stairs, and there’s long lines of people in this void, just standing there. But there was no explanation for this, no way to start theorizing as to what this could be, why it happens.

This is what I thought TMA was gonna be. Each episode never really ended with an explanation, or a way to theorize (early on) and I thought it would stay that way. I remember in January I was finally listening to more on a plane ride, and got to ep22, Martin’s statement about Jane Prentiss. It wasn’t even this specific episode that got me interested, not fully. I did like the worms, description of Jane prentiss, all that but it was when I kinda realized there was something to theorize about, that there was actually something going on behind the scenes. And it kept me listening. It was a bit frustrating how slow the season seemed to go, because I wanted to know what the worms were about, and I admit I rushed through a few episodes, again, thinking they were just filler short stories to break apart the real meat of it. The episode I think that really sealed the deal was strange music, specifically the bit between Sasha and Jon, I wasn’t too interested in creepy clown dolls, but that silly little debate over how to pronounce calliope was honestly charming. Like “oh, these characters aren’t gonna be overdramatized horror movies characters, at least not too much.” Once I got to the season 1 finale I was obsessed and basically finished the rest in two or three weeks (I listened to the last 120 episode in a single week).

And good lord Jonny I am SO SORRY I DOUBTED YOU. Because none of it was creepy books or creepy dolls or weird coffins for the hell of it, you weren’t actually left with no idea of what the ending meant. You just had to listen to Jon as he because paranoid and pulled out the red string, pulling all the pieces together for you until we finally got the big picture. I never once expected the fears, or avatars, or that Robert smirk was anything but a weird architecture, that Jonah Magnus was anything but a stuffy old man who founded the institute. And that’s why I think I love TMA so much, is there really is a big satisfying pay out as a listener, I didn’t even put the dots together myself and it’s still gratifying. The slow realization that these episodes aren’t just horror for the sake of horror, they have a reason, an explanation, and it still manages to keep a level of mystery and unknowability that makes you just always want to know more. Re-listening has been genuinely so fun, because especially with later episodes I’m able to connect those dots, and see the full picture as it unravels. The thing in the dark alley wasn’t targeting smokers to be spooky, it was a monster collecting victims to use in a ritual, and that addiction is part of the web.

So yeah, that was probably really redundant, but I just really love that slow reveal, all the little bits you can connect, and theories you can make. Jonathan Sims forgive me for ever doubting your writing, I see now you’re a genius, please give me your brain, I need it for my own creativity. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

[novacorpsrecruit]

Theme: social media / modern media AU

Don’t Hate the Player by daynight (Ao3) @daynightinc (tumblr)

M | wc 6,373 | minor cw cut scene cyber sex (I read it at work 🫡)

Steve Harrington doesn't really play video games. Not his thing.

Somehow, however, he's ended up in an utterly delusional, one-sided relationship with an NPC.

This is so fucking unique I’m literally hanging it up Video Game Hall of Fame. Rochester, here I come. Steve is bullied into playing ‘Upside Down’ an 18+ MMORG, as Dustin tells him the most efficient way to get a hold of him is through [reads notes] the in-game messaging system. Sounds right. Steve gets enamored with the game, playing hours on end even without Dustin. And Steve finds Keswardia the Banished, an NPC merchant, that he can’t stop visiting.

I’ll be honest I fucking love video game lore. It’s one thing that sucks me into games so hard. The world building in this fic just for the video game is so good!! I want to eat it up. And the fact that Steve stumbles into Keswardia destroys me. Read it, you’ll get it.

Gareth the Matchmaker by Steviesbicrisis (Ao3) @steviesbicrisis (tumblr)

G | 15/16 chapters | no cw

Gareth is in charge of the Corroded Coffin official TikTok account, he's playing Fuck Marry Kill with the three random celebrities filters and trying to make the other guys join as well.

When it's Eddie's turn, he's having none of it until he sees the three celebrities on top of his head.

He has no clue who these people are, but the one in the middle? Eddie is sure he's going to marry him someday.

Eddie has yet to find out that the guy is none other than baseball player Steve Harrington, 1/3 of the "Ladykiller Trio", currently playing for the Yomiuri Giants. In Japan.

And when things get too complicated for Eddie's liking, thankfully he has Gareth on his side.

I honestly think this is the first time I’ve ever read a social media AU that’s only through images and with a complete story. There’s screenshots of the text messages, Instagram, news articles, TikTok’s. This is such a unique storytelling method and everyone is so in character, you forget that it’s not real screenshots. (I hardly ever read anything that’s incomplete but I made sure to hit subscribe when I first saw it was on Ao3.) It’s a WIP, but chapter 16 is supposed to be an epilogue, so even if you don’t like reading WIPs, I highly encourage this one!!

WHO IS EDDIE MUNSON FUCKING by beetlesandstars, witchjeons (ao3)

M | wc 2,445 | no cw

Summary: eddie: oh god

oh no god please no

FUCK

FUCK FCUK FUCK FCK FUCK

NOBODY LOOK NOBODY SCROLL UP

PLEASE

nancy: did you actually just sext the fucking group chat

eddie: so. like

Or, Eddie accidentally sends a sext to the group chat. Chaos ensues.

I fucking die reading this. This is an entire fic made of chat rooms and it’s so fUCKING funny I’m not even joking.

Eddie accidentally opens a can of worms when he sends the wrong message to the wrong chat and chaos ensues. All of their personalities fit so well in a modern setting and it feels like you’re snooping in someone’s phone. I really recommend anything that Jo writes that has chats (and in general)!

Eddie Munson/Hotdude Official Megatherad! By MixAddams (ao3) @mixsethaddams (tumblr)

T | wc 1,906 | cw Reddit simulation

Summary: The general public spent 30 years thinking nothing of Steve’s presence in pictures beyond him being ‘that one hot dude in the background’ because whatever, he was just another part of Corroded Coffin’s entourage.

Imagine the scramble on the band’s subreddit to reexamine every picture he’s ever been in when, the day gay marriage gets legalised in Indiana, Eddie posts a picture on Instagram of the two of them with the caption “Finally. We’ve been engaged since 1989.”

(Because of the formatting is infinitely clearer on desktop or tablets than on mobile)

I absolutely love this. This is literally peering into the Stranger Things universe in 2Kwhatever and peering into the mess that is Reddit and the Corroded Coffin fan base. This is so fucking brilliant I just !!!! Please read.

Seth tbh I don’t think I realized this was your fic I love your brain, I’m kissing your brain.

Consensual Catfishing by foresthearts (ao3)

M | wc 32,108 | cw miscommunication

Summary: When Eddie gets a message on instagram from an account claiming to be the famous pop-star Steve Harrington, he knows immediately it's a catfish. He's not dumb. The account has no pictures and people like Steve Harrington don't just randomly DM guys like Eddie.

Still. What would be the harm in letting it play out? It's not dangerous if he knows he's being catfished. No, if he knows about it, then it's basically like a fun little roleplay. No harm, no foul.

(Eddie is not, in fact, being catfished)

*slaps the screen of Ao3* This baby can fit so much into it! Mistaken identities, identity porn, mixed media, famous Steve, slightly less famous Eddie, podcasts, text messages, tumblr posts, and dungeons and dragons.

Eddie, a DM for a Dungeons and Dragons online podcast (vodcast? wtf do you call it when it’s a video series), gets a message from someone pretending to be his (slightly former) celebrity crush, Steve Harrington. Eddie goes along with it, joking about it on his show, and maybe he kind of falls in love with the catfisher…

While Steve Harrington finds out an internet celebrity is into him. He reaches out to the famous DM Eddie Munson in hopes he can get over his former relationship with his bandmate.

This Untitled modern AU by @steddiealltheway

G | ficlet sized | no cw

Summary: A wrong number leads to Steve making an unlikely friendship.

This fic rattled my brain so much, when I was searching for it I thought it was on Ao3/10K fic. I absolutely love this piece! Robin goes out on a date and Steve (lovingly) jokes that Robin is going out with a serial killer. Steve texts Robin’s new number, just to ensure she’s safe and not actually with a serial killer… only to find out that he has the wrong number. He creates a friendship with Not Robin (of course, after finding out Robin was indeed safe), and maybe he falls along the way, too.

Found God in a Tomato by beetlesandstars (ao3)

M | wc 5,725 | no cw

Summary: Eddie: just met the cutest guy on god’s green earth and i didn’t get his number

basically it’s over for me

Steve: Oh? Where?

Eddie: at this little coffee shop i like

i’ve never seen Tall Pretty Gorgeous here before though so. i will probably never see him again.

shoot me

Steve: Tall Pretty Gorgeous huh?

He must’ve been something

Eddie: YES Steve. he WAS

operative word being WAS!

i can’t believe i didn’t ask for his number

Steve: What’d he look like?

Eddie: oh, you know

his beauty was beyond compare

with flaming locks of chestnut hair

with suntanned skin and eyes of roasted beans…

his smile soft like summer rain

his voice was like a breath of spring

and i cannot be normal now, joleeeeene

I actually found this fic while searching for the above untitled tumblr fic (when I thought it was on Ao3) and stumbled upon another great Jo creation!

A text to the wrong number creates a friendship through sending songs back and forth (the best kind of friendship). And ugh!!!!! I just love this so much.

i couldn’t see (you were always right beside me) by oriscribes (Ao3)

T | wc 13,609 | cw they’re fucking idiots

Summary: Three hours later Steve logged off to get ready for his shift at the hospital. He was several levels higher and had finished the quests in Darkshore with the help of Greyhawk. He also had a friend listed in his friends list.

Greyhawk had said that being friends would let them be able to tell when the other was online so they could quest again. Steve really liked the sound of that. He didn’t have many friends his own age. He and Robin basically lived in each other’s pockets at work, but with Robin’s new girlfriend and their sleep schedules, they didn’t end up getting to hang out more than once a week.

A new friend sounded really nice, especially given that it was unlikely he would ever get along with his neighbors. The only resident Steve’s age on this floor was the neighbor he hated and that was very unlikely to change anytime soon.

OR

Steve hated his neighbor. And then Dustin and the other kiddos left for college and Steve signed up for some online game called World of Warcraft. Which was how Steve met a Night Elf druid named Greyhawk.

Oh my god did we ask for more mistake identities because THIS FIC IS LOADED WITH THEM!!! I cannot stress how much I loved this fic. I just discovered it two weeks ago and it is embedded so deeply into my brain I just !!!!

Steve decides to join Dustin and the rest of the party on WoW, to bridge the distance college has created, but somehow never joins their party as he makes a new friend online. Steve uses WoW to relax from the real world of his stressful job at the hospital, the ongoing feud he has with his neighbor and his cat (Cowboy!!!!!!), and the constant nagging he gets from Dustin to meet his other older friend Eddie.

Eddie, on the other hand, found a newb on WoW and somehow adopted him as a new friend, helping him level up and teach him the game. If only friendships work out this well in real life, then maybe he could help his grumpy neighbor not be so … well… grumpy.

Please remember to leave kudos and comments on the fics you read/enjoyed! Support your writers 🖤

Prev fic rec: fics that fucked me up (so you should read them too)

[luxury-nightmare]

inspired by nerdymixedpan on tiktok

Ranking Magnus fears by How likely I am to serve them/how freaked out I am by them (including the Extinction because I will never forget about my underrated king)

1, The Eye

How freaked out am I by it? 3/10. My sister will come barging into my room uninvited anyway so the fear of being watched doesn’t really freak me out.

How likely am I to serve it?

7/10. I listened to 200 episodes of gay people suffering. What do you think

2, The Lonely

5/10 the person who I took this idea from said it best. This is schrodinger's fear. Cause on one hand, I like being alone. I spend most of my time huddled up in my room. But on the other hand, the enjoyment mostly comes from being awful at social situations and accidentally hurting peoples feelings when I talk to them

8/10 I said it already. I already isolate myself give me the banish powers. Gentle voiced old man I’m coming for your crown.

3, The Spiral

5/10 not exactly. Honestly the thought of me being crazy is probably not my greatest fear, it’s more the system for mentally ill people. I once let a couple things slip and was taken to a mental hospital, and the only thing I could think is “is there something wrong with me?” which, in my humble opinion, is not something someone struggling with mental illness should be thinking in a place that’s supposed to help them

5/10 would I be a good spiral avatar? No. Would I leap at the chance? Absolutely. I wanna see door wife and fuckhands mcmike

4, The Stranger

6/10 I do not fuck with uncanny valley shit. 4/10 I am a theater kid, so this could be right up my alley, but all the avatars are glorified theater kids so I think I’ll pass

5, The Desolation

2/10 I was scared of fire as a kid, but that’s the extent of my fear towards it.

4/10 Fire is pretty, I like setting things on fire, and Agnes is hot (pun intended) but that’s pretty much it

6, The Corruption

5/10 sickness and illness freak me out, but I’m chill with bugs. 2/10 no

7, The Vast

6/10 I went through a huge nihilism phase in middle school so that would factor into it. Honestly having an astronomy class is not going to help with this. But lately it’s less “nothing matters” and more “nothing matters so you can fuck up as much as you need”

8/10 enjoy sky blue motherfuckers!

8, The Buried

6/10 honestly this is a new one. I like to be in small spaces, but I cannot handle caves. I think I can blame Pastra’s Ted the caver video and the lost johns cave episode for this. But also, if we think about The Buried as The Vast opposite and pulled from its more metaphorical aspects (I know the show doesn’t do this very often but bear with me) the fear that everyone depends on you and if you fuck up even slightly everyone will hate you forever? Yeah that’s me

4/10 has we ever met a buried avatar? I have no point of reference. Four out of ten

9, The Web

4/10 this is a tricky one. I’m chill with spiders but the manipulation part for me comes not from the fear that I’m being manipulated, more the fear that I’m being manipulative. That I’m tricking people into caring about me and doing what I want when I really just need to tough it out (would this feed into The Spiral? Not really, right?)

7/10 Spiders, killer aesthetic, breaking the fourth wall. Let me in.

10, The Flesh

9/10 no. No no. No no. No gross. Gross gross gross. Have you seen the episode where the guy hammers all the meat to his apartment and it’s starts to rot through the ceiling? Gross get it away from me.

0/10 no Jared I am not joining your cottagecore lesbian garden leave me alone

11, The Hunt

2/10 I feel like this one should freak me out more than it does. I live in the mountains, surrounded by wild animals, and I have terrible stamina. But honestly? It’s like Jon said. It’s natural. If I don’t bother them they don’t bother me.

3/10 I have terrible stamina. I would make a terrible hunt avatar

12, The Slaughter

5/10 I have strong feelings about war. But there less fear and more disgust, anger, and sadness.

2/10 although it would be nice to go apeshit once and a while, this is a hard no.

13, The Dark

1/10 dude I vibe with the dark. It doesn’t freak me out at all.

9/10 I am practically nocturnal. My sona is the embodiment of darkness incarnate. Hard yes. Give me the shadow powers

14, The End

6/10 honestly this feat comes from less from death itself and more what comes after, and my family’s reaction. The idea of nonexistence is terrifying and maybe there’s something worse. I watched a Scp video, I forgot the specific number, but it was an idea of what happens after death. Essentially, you stay conscious, but you cannot move, trapped in your own body feeling every slow pain of rot or cremation as your atoms split apart over millennium. So yeah, death itself is fine but everything after is scary

8/10 I’ve always had a fascination with death, not actual people dying, but the pomp and glamour we give death. Graveyards and funerals and death gods and all that jazz. Gothic stuff. Also The End is technically the only fear that can win in the long run. The End will come for us all.

15, The Extinction

7/10 Watch the news and you’ll understand what i mean. I was like 5 when I first learned about climate change and I promptly put that in a box in the back of my brain and tried to forget it ever existed.

10/10 dude this isn’t even about the killer aesthetic, this is just cause it’s criminally underrated. Extinction my fear I will be your avatar since no one else will be. Also dude it would be so easy, just send some random people inflammatory news articles, push some people into a hell dimension, and you’re done! Also if any of the other fears complete a ritual, that’s a whole ass free buffet!

TL:DR: Extinction is underrated and Hello jon. apologies for the deception, but i wanted to make sure you started reading, so i thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming youre alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldnt try to stop reading; there's every likelihood you'll just hurt your self. So just listen. Now, shall we turn the page and try again?

[boywriters-blog]

Nathan Explosion x bio male reader (he/him)

I’d like something spicy but please keep it within your comfort zone !!

(if you don’t feel like doing something spicy you could do some like little cute thing)

thaaanks :3

Nathan/Bio!Male Reader

babes i am so sorry if this isn’t the greatest, tbh i haven’t written a lot of spicy content so just be warned !!

this is my favorite request so far omg thank you sm what

warnings: spicy, suggestive, basically smut, no sex

Tonight was like any other, you alone in bed, while Nathan was in his room. You started liking Nathan after a few months of working for Dethklok. You of course would never say anything, he’s too ‘brutal’ for emotions. Or so you thought.

You were kind of Charles assistant. Your job essentially was to make sure the band didn’t do anything too dumb. To watch over them when he wasn’t there. You liked to think you’d done a pretty good job over the few years you’ve been here.

You liked to. The boys did not make it easy. Sometimes you thought you didn’t do enough for the band. Whenever they put themselves in danger you started doubting yourself, but Nathan was always there to reassure you. He would tell you that you’re doing a good job, that you were a perfect fit for this band.

That’s when you started falling for him. He would stay up late with you, when he was done fucking groupies and they all passed out. You were always still awake for some reason, you had a hard time sleeping. He knew this. So when he was done having his fun, he would typically walk over to your room and find you awake, at your desk, usually on your laptop.

Sometimes you looked at news articles of yourself, calling you gay, wrong for the band, saying you did nothing to protect the boys, and of course much worse. Sometimes you would watch YouTube videos of the past bands the boys had been in. Other times you were just watching a stupid show to calm your brain down.

This time you were looking at news articles. You sighed and scrolled through all the hateful words, taking them to heart even though you knew you shouldn’t. You had tears in your eyes and you cursed yourself for them. You walked over to your bed, laptop in hand, and lazily scrolled.

That’s when he showed up again. When he was done having his fun. Or so you thought. He slowly opened the door after knocking a couple times, knowing it was usually okay to just walk in. He looked over at your desk and then your bed, sighing when he saw you looking at the news articles.

You quickly shut your laptop and sat up. He didn’t usually come around this early..and he’s still in his clothes, but he wreaked of booze and weed. He walked over to your bed and sat down. You stared at each other for a moment before speaking.

“Listen- I know I told you I wouldn’t, but I had to. Or at least I felt like I had to-“

“Y/N.”

“You know I honestly don’t know how you guys do this, how you don’t let stupid news articles get to your head-“

“Y/N.”

“It’s funny because you never think you’ll take it to heart, you think you’ll just laugh it off, and never think about it again-“

“Y/N!”

“-Huh? Oh- Yeah? Sorry. What’s up?”, your face flushed a light pink, embarrassed. You sat up straighter and looked him in the eyes.

“Don’t listen to those dildos. They don’t know what they’re talking about. They’re dumb fucks who literally lie for popularity and fame or whatever. We think you do a great job and that’s all that really matters, right?”, he smiled a little and you smiled widely back. You hugged him hesitantly and he hugged you in return.

“Thank you, Nathan. You always know what to say to make me feel better. Even if your trashed.”, you didn’t want to stop hugging him, you let it go on for longer than you usually would, and he did too.

“Wanna smoke some weed? Maybe It’ll help you calm down and sleep.”, he suggested. Normally you would say no, out of keeping a clear head, but tonight you said yes.

He broke the hug to get a joint from his pocket, and he took your hand, leading you to the patio. He took his lighter and lit it, taking a few hits before passing it to you. It had been a while since you smoked, you typically only did it when the boys were on vacation and didn’t need you.

You took a few smaller hits, and almost coughed a lung out. You had to pass it to Nathan and hold onto the railing for a couple seconds while you caught your breathe. You laughed as Nathan took a huge hit, passing it back to you.

You took a couple hits and passed it to him, he would take a huge hit and pass it back. This was the cycle until you both reached the end of the joint. You were pretty blazed and so was he, but he had also been smoking beforehand.

After it was finished you both went inside, making small talk until you reached your bed again, both of you laying down on it, giggling.

“You know- I almost didn’t take this job.”, you started, and he stared at you with wide eyes. You continued, “I was so worried I wouldn’t be good enough, or that I wasn’t ready to take on the responsibilities of taking care of my favorite band. I actually almost quit after a few months. But I decided to stay.”, you giggled thinking about it. “I’m glad I did, I wouldn’t have met you otherwise. The real you.”, you smiled at him.

He was stunned, looking at you with those wide eyes. “No way. You may be a complete dildo sometimes..but you’re our family or whatever now..You do a better job than most of the idiots that would’ve taken it. I’m ..”, he thought for a second, grimacing at what he was about to say, “I’m glad you’re here..or whatever. I’m glad you took the job.. You’re fun to be around .. and you like..make us smile I guess.”, he struggled to say.

Your eyes were tearing up again and you smiled. You knew it was hard for him to say that. You got on his lap and hugged him again and he groaned, hugging you back. “You’re sweet, Nathan. You’ve always been my favorite. Don’t tell the others though, you know how they’d get..”

This time he didn’t let go, maybe it was the weed and the booze. He put his face in your neck and sighed. He sounded..happy? You smiled and held him closer to you. “You know, Nathan, I had a huge crush on you for a really long time..”, you admitted in your hazed state.

He loosened his grip to pull back and look at you in the eyes, “Are you serious?”, he said with his infamous serious face. Your eyes widened a bit at your confession and you panicked inside, squirming a bit to get off him, but he kept you on his lap, awaiting your response.

“U-Uhm- yeah- I did- a-and I know that’s gay- so super gay - but-“, he cut you off by pressing a finger over your mouth, tears filling your eyes. He looked like he was thinking of what to do. You were fucked. You just fucked up your entire relationship and career. You were crying silently at this point. He wiped your tears and sighed. “Don’t cry.”, he said sternly, but you couldn’t help it. “I-I’m sorry- Please forget I said anything - just -“, he cut you off by kissing you this time.

You were shocked, your eyes widened. You kissed him back immediately. He put his hands on your waist and yours went around his neck. You had stopped crying and instead you were smiling.

Nathan put one hand on your ass and squeezed it, causing you to squeak into his mouth. You could feel him smirk against your lips. You raised one hand to the back of his head, lightly pulling on his hair as you started to grind against him in retaliation. He broke off for a moment, groaning, and then pulling you in again to kiss you sloppily.

You could feel yourself getting harder, just as you could feel him through his jeans. He was shifting a little in discomfort, the fabric becoming uncomfortably tight. You raised yourself and unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down to his knees, not breaking the kiss for a moment.

You kept his boxers on, you didn’t want to go too far tonight. Keeping your own pajama shorts on as well. You resumed grinding against him, his hands tightening against your waist and pulling you down, his hips thrusting up to meet you. Your lips moved from his to his neck, biting and sucking, leaving marks.

Normally he would hate a groupie leaving any sort of hickies or marks on him that couldn’t be hidden, but he didn’t seem to mind when you did it. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it quite a bit. So much so that after a few minutes he decided to return the favor. You had to stop and moan because he knew exactly where to bite somehow. Your grip tightened on his hair, your grinding speeding up.

He made sure to leave as many as he could on your neck, making it obvious that you belonged to him and him only. Your grinding became sloppier and more desperate, feeling the build up in your stomach. He recognized this and put a hand on your appendage, stopping your movement, he brought his own to his hand, and began jerking the two of you off. His hands were huge and rough, he could easily fit both of them in one hand.

Your hand on his shoulder tightened more than before, and you kissed him. He kissed back frantically, feeling his peak close by. You were both sloppy and reckless. You gripped his hair harder and he gripped you both harder in exchange. You felt his sex next to yours, throbbing and his hand gripped tighter, speeding up.

Even through the fabric, the friction was almost too much. Almost. He groaned and looked into your eyes, you looked back into his. And at that moment you felt yourself burst, him cumming moments after. You moaned loudly into his mouth, a string of curse words and his name. You shook on his lap, even as his hand tried to stabilize you. He moaned your name into the room, not caring who heard.

After a few more strokes he let go. Breathing heavily. You practically collapsed on him, almost unable to move. He moved his hands to wrap around you, holding you close to him. You did the same as you caught your breathe.

You chuckled and looked up at him. “So- I guess I’m not the only gay one, huh?”, you smiled, happy to not be alone, and happy that the person you loved, loved you back. He grimaced and chuckled along with you.

“I guess so.”, he smirked softly and his grip on you tightened. “Just..promise you won’t quit? Ever? Or at least..be like..my boyfriend, or something..”, he looked away embarrassed and nervous, even if he knew you would most likely say yes, he still worried you would say no.

“Of course I will. You don’t have to worry about a thing. I’ll be more than happy to be your boyfriend, Nathan. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that.”, you confessed and hugged him tight, tears filling your eyes once more, but this time happily.

He kissed you and you kissed him back. You couldn’t believe this was happening. He broke the kiss and looked down at the both of your crotches. His jeans on the ground, having slipped off while all of that was happening.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”, he picked you up in his big arms, carrying you over to your bathroom, helping you undress and undressing himself, turning on warm water and taking a shower with you.

Let’s just say you ended up sleeping great that night.

———————————————————————

extra:

The rest of the band were in the hot tub, watching some stupid show when they saw Nathan walking over to your room. They didn’t think much of it since he did it almost every night.

That was until they heard moaning coming from your room. You weren’t quiet. Something they would tell Nathan later.

“Holy schit!! thatsth stho gay!! They’re gay!!”, William exclaimed as he began to get out, but Pickles shoved him back into the water. “Shut up and leave ‘em alone! God knows they both needed this. You see the way Nathan talks about ‘em!”

“Ja Moiderface, maybes he’ll shuts up nows.”, Skwisgaar said as he played his guitar. Toki just nodding and agreeing with what everyone else is saying. He was just happy that you and Nathan were finally doing something about your feelings.

———————————————————————

i’m so sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted, i’m a bit rusty in the spicy compartment!! as always let me know if you need anything else!

-Mooshi

[oldiesstationlover11607]

*In SpongeBob’s voice* 🧽Hi. How are ya?🧽

The amount of joy that surged through my body when I saw that the sponge was yellow is indescribable. Anyways, hi. What up? It’s me 💛, back at it again with another request! You went above and beyond with the last Torchbearer story btw! Like, honestly, novel worthy in my eyes. It was so good and the ANGST!!! And I like the cliffhanger ending. Gives you places to go if you so choose, but also can keep it just as a one part story and the reader can sort of extrapolate what happens next.

So, I come to you with a new request. It’s Josh (Josh-Josh this time. Not one of his incredibly neglected lore characters. Have no fear). Idk if this is too similar to something else you have written (disregard if it is), but I was wondering if you could write a fluffy one shot about the first time Josh introduces the reader (his girlfriend) to Tyler and Tyler makes it his mission to bring up any embarrassing story about Josh that he can just to mess with him. Josh gets all flustered and stuff, but the reader loves it. Idk. I just feel like Tyler would do something like that.

Tease - Josh Dun x Reader

Relationship: Josh × Reader + Tyler!!

Warnings: none - fluff

Word Count: 1056

A/N: HOPE YOU LIKE THIS!! I'm using it for bandito battle bc I love how it shows off their friendship and it's nice a short!

Josh had been raving about Tyler since the day we met and for a while I thought they were dating. He thought it was a good idea to disregard the fact Tyler had been married for a year and describe him as ‘handsome, talented, and the coolest person he’d ever met’. It wasn’t until we hung out at a local park that he confessed he liked me. I admitted I thought he was gay–let’s just say that was a fun conversation. We’d been dating for about a month when he deemed me worthy of meeting his lord and savior Tyler Joseph. We’d agreed to meet at a diner close to our house–some fake 50s themed place which Josh claimed had the best milkshakes despite the fact I was severely lactose intolerant. Josh had been jittery all day about this meeting. I caught him pacing in the kitchen at least three times, mumbling things like, “What if he says something stupid?” and ���Maybe I should cancel.” But I reassured him with every step, telling him Tyler was probably just as excited to meet me as I was to meet him. We walked into the diner, the bell above the door chiming, and there he was—Tyler Joseph in the flesh, sitting in a booth with his arm draped over the backrest like he owned the place. He glanced up from the menu, a smirk already forming when he saw us approaching.

“Josh! Dude, finally!” Tyler stood and gave Josh a bro hug, patting him on the back with a little too much force. Then he turned to me, his smile widening. “You must be the famous girlfriend.”

I laughed. “Famous, huh? He’s been talking me up?”

“Non-stop,” Tyler replied, sliding back into the booth. 

“I’m assuming he’s told you I thought you two were dating?” I chuckled.

“Yup,” he laughed, “But don’t worry, I’ve got some even more embarrassing stories about him.”

Josh groaned, sitting beside me. “Ty, please, not today.”

Tyler gave him a mischievous look. “Remember that time at the festival, Josh? You were supposed to hop on our tour bus, but you got on the wrong one and ended up at a completely different venue. Man, that was priceless. We didn't even know you were missing until you sent that frantic text from some random band’s bus.”

I giggled, looking at Josh, who was already turning red. “Seriously?”

“It wasn’t that bad…” Josh muttered, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh, yes it was. You should’ve seen the look on his face when he realized. And have you seen that video of him in a blonde wig? He made it with some old friends on iMovie.” Tyler leaned in conspiratorially, eyes gleaming. 

“He didn’t.” I burst out laughing at that. “A blonde wig? Really?”

Josh buried his face in his hands, clearly embarrassed but smiling underneath it all. “Tyler, you’re killing me here.”

Tyler just grinned wider. “Hey, she needs to know the full Josh Dun experience.” Then he shot me a wink. “Trust me, it’s worth it.”

I could feel Josh squirming beside me, half-laughing, half-pleading with Tyler to stop. But the teasing wasn’t over yet.

Tyler leaned back, tapping his chin as if deep in thought. “Oh! How could I forget? The YouTube Bible readings! Have you seen them?”

Josh groaned louder this time, his head falling back against the booth in defeat. “No, Tyler, don’t.”

“What?” Tyler asked, feigning innocence. “I think they’re inspirational. You looked so serious, man, like you were auditioning for a role in a biblical drama. And that shaky camera work? A true classic.”

Josh peeked at me through his fingers, his face practically glowing red. “I swear they were for a good cause.”

I laughed, patting his arm. “I bet they were. We’ll have to check those out on movie night.”

Tyler’s grin turned devilish as he added, “I’ll send you the links. Honestly, it’s prime content.”

Josh let out a loud, exaggerated sigh, trying to hide his smile behind his hand. “Why did I bring you here again?”

“Because I’m your best friend and you love me,” Tyler said, not missing a beat. He took a sip from his milkshake, watching us with amusement. “You know, you got yourself a good one here,” he continued, looking at me now. “Josh has been over the moon since you guys started dating.”

Josh looked up, his cheeks still a bit pink, but his expression softened. “Well, I’m pretty lucky too.”

Tyler made a gagging motion. “Ugh, gross. But sweet. I’ll allow it.” He glanced at me again, a playful glint in his eyes. “Just make sure you remind him every now and then that he’s a dork, okay?”

I grinned. “Oh, don’t worry. I think I’ve got that covered.”

Josh chuckled, finally relaxing a bit as he reached for my hand under the table. “Yeah, she definitely does.”

Tyler clapped his hands together dramatically. “Alright, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s order some food.”

The rest of the night was filled with more jokes, teasing, and stories—this time with Josh doing his fair share of dishing it back to Tyler. But even through the laughter and light-hearted banter, I could see how much they cared for each other. Tyler's endless teasing was more than just poking fun at Josh—it was a way of showing just how close they were, how deep their bond went.

As we left the diner, Josh laced his fingers with mine, a soft smile playing on his lips. “That wasn’t so bad, right?”

I squeezed his hand. “Not bad at all. Actually, I think I love you a little more now.”

Josh raised an eyebrow, his smile growing. “Because Tyler embarrassed me?”

“Exactly.”

He shook his head, laughing as we headed toward the car. “Great. Remind me never to let you two gang up on me again.”

“No promises,” I said with a grin.

Tyler called out behind us, “Next time, I’ll bring the blonde wig and we can make a part two to that movie!”

Josh groaned, but I could tell he was happy. And as we drove home, I knew I’d just witnessed something special—this crazy, hilarious, wonderful friendship between two guys who would always have each other’s backs, no matter how many embarrassing stories they dragged up along the way.

//

REQUESTS OPEN

Tags for bandito battle:

@banditobattlemotherfuckers @the-paladin-gay

[ahli-stuff]

Me getting on my soapbox because I feel crazy but I am the only one who is irritated ivantill

Two reasons:

Undoubtedly the narrative of Alien stage surrounds Mizi—we started alien stage with her. Five of the six videos in alien stage has Mizi as a focus or a key character.

But with the release of round 6, all I hear people talk about is ivantill, ivantill, ivantill—it drives me crazy, im not trying to take it in bad faith, but. for Vivinos who has famously posted mainly feminine, lesbian, and sapphic content, what kind of message does it send that the first time she depicts a gay couple it goes viral? (who. Are not even a couple, and I say this even if Ivan had survived)

That’s the first thing im annoyed about, but the second thing is about the way people approach ivantill itself.

Don’t get me wrong, round 6 is GREAT. It has striking visuals, a compelling story, and and deeply memorable climax; so while I don’t share the excitement upon expanding Ivan and till’s characters I can at least understand it.

What I don’t understand is people framing Ivantill as this tragic love story where Till was mistaken not realizing Ivan’s love until it was too late. It’s… not that at all?

Honestly? I think Ivantill is just as shallow as MiziTill.

Ivan and till aren’t star crossed lovers. They aren’t even friends. They’re strangers at best, and stalker and victim at worse. From the very beginning, Ivan resembles more of a boy pulling a girl’s pigtails as he watches Till from afar and harasses him to get his attention. In addition to that, something that cements this stalker-ish behavior is that Ivan barely means anything to Till—Ivan is completely absent from round 2 which is supposed to be Till-centric. Afterwards, Till doesn’t even think to ask Ivan for support when Mizi goes missing.

People find that Ivan “saving” Till in round 3 and round 6 respectively to be endearing, thinking “Till fucked up, he had a good man right here while he was chasing another girl.”Not to mention Ivan only genuinely saves Till once—but what he does do is and stare at and touch??? Till’s unconscious body several times???

(They’re good and interesting scenes ; you’re meant to feel uncomfortable with the way Ivan’s eyes are pitch black and he’s often depicted looking out from the corner like a vengeful ghost.)

But that’s not even what baffles me the most.

Guys, Till doesn’t owe Ivan his love just because Ivan loves him. Till wouldn’t even owe Ivan his love even if Ivan saved him a million times. Ivan’s story is a tragedy but it’s not a crime that Till just wasn’t attracted to Ivan.

Till didn’t “fuck up” when he pursued Mizi because he loved her—that was his choice because that is his life. Ivan decided to sacrifice his life for Till’s because that was his life.

I think Ivan’s story is really good; it’s a tale of how obsession destroys you even when you use it as a mental escape from your unfortunate circumstances. It’s unnerving, tragic, and to a certain degree relatable.

But if you decide to believe Ivan deserved Till because he loved him so much, it creates this creepy narrative that promotes as long as you desire someone enough they should love you back. No.

Ivan dying for Till doesn’t make him any more deserving of Till’s love and neither does it erase the things he’s done to him. But that’s the point, I think. until the end, Ivan was this twisted ball of anger, despair, and longing—and his forced kiss with Till was just an escalation of what he had done before, until Ivan could finally go on no longer.

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

thank you for making that video about pride, i was going through it w my internalized homophobia and not only is the editing itself (sound and visual) brilliant, i think its something im gonna be rewatching. thank you thank you thank you 🤍

My job here is done

I also struggle with internalized homophobia, right now not so much, it comes and goes, but with myself I’m fine. It attacks when it comes to thinking about other people seeing me as a lesbian, and knowing I like women. Me acknowledging I’m as lesbian as it can get? Sure, makes sense, not surprised. Other people knowing this? Horrible, bad, makes me feel weird and dirty (because of the oversexualization of queerness all around).

However, I’m a big gay supporter. I mainly consume queer media, and research queer history, and it came to a point where, while yes, I don’t think I want to come out to others because internalized homophobia, I acknowledge I’m so lucky to be like this. We have a rich history behind us, a history of love and identity. And love meaning all kinds, whether it’s romantic, or sexual, or platonic, or self-love. A history of deviation. I love the term deviant. I understand it’s not for everyone, for most is a horrible insult, but while I can’t say lesbian out loud (internalized homophobia), I’m fine calling myself a deviant. Perhaps it’s because no one ever called me that, but I like it, find comfort and recognition in that word. Deviant, what do I deviate from? The norm, the patriarchy, what’s normal, what’s natural, what’s moral, what’s right. Queerness is just that. They’re not wrong. Queerness is a deviation. However not a deviation of what they think. Not a deviation of nature, of morality, of what’s right. But a deviation of life. At least, the way it’s supposed to be lived.

There’s this quote by Ocean Voung: "Being queer saved my life. Often we see queerness as deprivation. But when I look at my life, I saw that queerness demanded an alternative innovation from me. I had to make alternative routes; it made me curious; it made me ask, “Is this enough for me?"

And this one by bell hooks: “queer not as being about who you're having sex with (that can be a dimension of it); but queer as being about the self that is at odds with everything around it and has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live."

Both of these explain it better than I can. Being queer, you make a life for yourself. Outside of norms, of stereotypes, of binaries and expectations. Being queer makes your life better. It makes it harder too, but better. It makes you live fully, freely, in a way that perhaps you may have never lived if you weren’t queer (of course, each person is a world, but being queer, being just in your natural state [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, etc], that already sets you aside, makes you different. When you’re already different, it’s easier to examine your life, what they want for you, what you really want. If your natural state [straight and cisgender] is already considered the norm, looking further into everything is more scary, looks less attainable, because it makes you lose the security you have in being the “right way”. Society doesn’t set you aside, if you go and begin realizing that maybe the life you want is not the one expected for you (not following gender roles, not marrying at all [specially as a woman], etc) you lose this privilege, you begin being set aside, considered different. If you’re already different no matter what, then you simply think, well, I might as well).

Anyway, where is this going? No idea. Honestly, I’m just ranting. But I love queerness. Internalized homophobia be damned, I love it. Honestly when internalized homophobia hits I never wish to stop loving women, but to have been born a straight man or live in a world where me loving women was “normal”. But never to stop loving them.

What was all this for? I could have said “thank you so much❤️❤️❤️”, and I do thank you for appreciating my video, but idk it got me ranting and when it comes to queerness, once I start ranting I never stop. There have been times where I believed that the reason being lgbt has been frowned upon during (most part of) history, in (most part of) the world, was because other people knew we were better, freer, and it scared them, and they caged us like one cages a free bird. Though that’s a comforting thought (when it comes to internalized homophobia), it’s not true. All sexuality is neutral, it’s neither better to be gay than to be straight, since these are biological phenomenons, that we have no choice over, and than don’t affect animals in nature (meaning, there are straight and lgbt animals, and their lives are the exact same. No lion lives better because they’re gay or straight since sexuality is neutral in nature). Which is also probably what happened to early humans, sexuality didn’t matter, their lives didn’t change depending it. But we’re not early humans, we’re humans living in a society where sexuality and gender do matter, and so, it stops being neutral. When it stops being neutral, it means it begins affecting our life.

But just like it affects us negatively (because I’m not just going to say “oh being queer is so great” because no, it definitely makes your life harder and, depending on your own personal situation, worse), it can also make it better.

In a world where queerness is negative, unnatural, focus on the positive aspects, even if it’s hard, if it seems impossible. Just like it affects us negatively because it’s not a neutral aspect anymore (and hasn’t been for a long time), it can also affects us positively, it goes both ways. Focus on the good, finding joy in being queer, different, a deviant, is as revolutionary as it can get, loving (and again, not simply talking about romantic / sexual love, but, most importantly, self love) is the most revolutionary thing there is in a world where you aren’t supposed to love. Love yourself, first and foremost. Love women, or men, or both, or no one, but yourself first. Loving women might piss lots of people off, but loving yourself when they all tell you you shouldn’t? That you should die? That you should change? That there’s no joy in being the way you are? Yeah, love yourself first.

And to finish this horrible long rant (you didn’t sign up on this I’m so sorry), the lyrics of Lined Lips And Spiked Bats, by G.L.O.S.S.

They wanted me to be a man / They wanted me to become one of them / Straight and repressed, emotions grotesque / Ready for war and the cubicle desk / Straight america, you won't ruin me / Sports and TV indoctrinate the kids / Seems so simple, cause it is / They told us to die, we chose to live / They told us to die, we chose to live

[arco-pluris]

Hello If you see this I would appreciate the Help. I am a guy and I have always been very very attracted to men they are physically hot, and i am also sexually attracted to them. When I think of guys I always think of having a future together and I look forward to relationships with them, I always get butterflies as well Ik that’s very gay. But when it comes to women I feel bad cause the only time I ever liked one was one girl from my old school, and i didn’t see the fact that she was a girl I just liked her for her, I thought of dating her and had sexual feelings towards her as well ( I said she was my one exception some other gay friends said it’s not common but there are some whom are rare but do experience this ) I never went with her but I did think of it. But fast forward to today when I think of women their chest just doesn’t attract me in any way, when some dress in front of me cause I’m gay and they think I wouldn’t like them which I just don’t feel any any attraction to women when they dress in front of me, or any butterflies in my stomach when looking at them and I don’t even plan our future. I do get sad tho because I want to like women but I just don’t and don’t get me wrong they are extremely gorgeous but I just don’t really feel anything. But when I’m looking at a video of them in a tight fitted dress sometimes I accidentally look at their outfit at their chest area ofc I don’t stare cause I don’t want to make them uncomfortable but I think omg their outfits are such a slay but sometimes in the very rare occasions I always ask myself am I attracted to this or do I find this hot. And sometimes I’d search up women on those yk “sites” to see do I like this and most times I see and then I’m like well I don’t feel anything, but I’m the very slight chance I sometimes find the situation hot and that makes me think the woman is hot. And Ik you can find ppl attractive without being attracted to them but sometimes I’m sexually attracted to them but only if I come across them on a site. Cause I’m the occasion that a woman irl comes into me I don’t feel anything and I feel nothing. No sexual interest when they actually do something or romantic. But if it’s online from a site cause I was looking at men and came across them I end up finding it hot and am attracted to them but only in the moment. Cause day to day life I’d see how gorgeous women can be and I just don’t feel anything. When it’s a man tho I don’t have to ask if I like this, and when I see them I feel butterflies as well as the tension. But women in person I don’t even feel sexual tension I’m a confusing person..

Please help idk what’s wrong with my feelings and I’m wondering if I’m still valid as gay ? Or is there a term or sexuality or whatever to describe how I am or something ? Honestly any input would help ofc only if you can, cause I’m so confused right now.

(anon sent october 27)

nothing wrong. bold of you to think I would be the one to say something is wrong. but at least I feel these feelings are very common. the thing is: would you still be curious about it? because I consider being curious a defining identity for some, including myself.

another thing to look at is: borea-, gynecurious (or heterocurious), androflexible, minflex, maflex, try-, pre-, cupiogex, and merascic.

you could be a merasscic gynecurious/homoflexible (aniso-).

if you find these forms of attraction get blurry or mixed together, try aestheti-, apres-, or quoi-.

you could also question yourself if that's really attraction or it's desire (libido/stimulus) or corporeal response. idk if you'd be worried with comphet or not. cogitari- or poeti- could be used together with a femaric/fin- identity.

[confuzzledcrow]

My babysitter a vampire

Ethan Morgan Centric fic

(With some Erica Jones features)

Description: Ethan being autistic and his friends realising that maybe they haven’t been the best of friends recently.

Ships: (none really but everyone’s a bit gay for Ethan, except Erica)

Sarah had come to pick Ethan and Benny up for school, Erica was already sat in the front seat and somehow without offering his a lift Rory was in the back of her car. Benny climbed in next to Rory whilst Ethan stood at the door. “I always sit on the left” he said frowning slightly at Rory who shrugged. “Today I sit on the left!” He smiled. Ethan looked at Benny for backup though the other boy wasn’t exactly sure what he was supposed to do about this however the second he seen Ethan start biting at his nails he turned to the blonde boy. “You know how he is just swap seats with him” Benny said jabbing his elbow into Rory’s side. With that Rory super speed ran around the car to stand beside Ethan. “Sorry, E. I forgot” Rory said looking a little ashamed but Ethan just smiled “don’t worry, Rory, all good yea?” Rory nodded happily and they both climbed into the car.

“Can you losers not be normal about anything? Why does he have to sit on the left?” Erica complained. The second question was directed at Sarah who only laughed and shrugged before Rory answered. “Ethan’s just like that, he likes things his way” He answered before getting distracted staring out the window. Erica gave the three boys in the back a confused look but Ethan and Benny were now arguing over a video game whilst Rory threw rubbers at Ethan for being wrong.

Erica didn’t care about these losers and she couldn’t care less about how weird Ethan Morgan was but she did keep replaying the ‘Ethan’s just like that’ comment Rory had made whilst observing the boy. She watched him scrunch up his eyes whilst sitting in the library because the light above him was flickering, then she watched him groan and huff before putting headphones on to drown out a noise she couldn’t hear. She leaned over and nudged Benny who sat beside her and pointed to the table where Ethan and Sarah sat. “What’s wrong with him?” She asked her tone a bit more snarky than she had meant. Unfortunately Benny was either an idiot or simply didn’t care what she had to say as he shrugged before answering “he just does that” and continuing to read through his spell book instead of his history one.

She watched him separate his plate at lunch to assure his food wasn’t touching and him nearly lose it with Rory when he spilled a carton of juice on Ethan’s notes (about history class and about a ghost case they were looking into). She watched him bite at his nails until they bled in an attempt to stop himself from killing the blonde boy. “Okay all day I’ve been asking and no one has gave me a good answer, what is wrong with you? Why are you freaking out, is the world ending or are you just always this weird?” Erica practically shouted in Ethan’s face causing him to flinch back looking rather startled. “What do you mean I’m not acting weird?” He asked looking at her as if she were crazy and Erica thought she might explode.

Before she could really let lose on him Sarah grabbed her arm and dragged her off “I need the bathroom, Erica come with me” She said, though Erica didn’t seem to be getting a choice on wether or not she came with. “What? Sarah what are you doing?” She asked pulling her arm out of her friend’s grip.

“He’s autistic, Erica. He just likes things a certain way and I know you’re always kinda harsh with them but honestly making fun of him for that is just out of line even for you” Sarah started raving on about it with her hands flying around. “Sarah” “I mean shouting at him in the middle of the cafeteria for it?” “Sarah” “there was no need-” “Sarah!” Erica shouted finally getting her friend to stop talking for a second.

“I didn’t know. I may be dead but I’m not heartless, I was just wondering why he was acting so odd today… odder than usual I mean” Erica finished but now Sarah just looked confused. “I didn’t notice him acting any different than usual?” She said at which Erica scoffed gesturing towards the table the three boys sat at. “He’s been off all day, look at him” Sarah was now really paying attention and he did look more pale than normal, he was chewing on his nails and fingers as if he was starving and now that she thought about it he had barely spoke more than a few sentences today.

The two walked back to the table and this time Sarah asked the question. “Ethan are you..okay? You seem sorta jumpy and quiet… is everything alright?” Sarah’s concern seemed to spread to Benny and Rory who now also looked over at their friend with a worried look. “Hmm? I’m fine just thinking” he mumbled staring intensely at his juice stained notes. “Doesn’t make sense” he added. “What doesn’t make sense, buddy?” Benny added but got no response. The four sat in silent staring at their friend wondering what was going on. Finally Erica sighed and ripped the notes off the table causing a deeply upset Ethan to stare up at her. “Listen loser, I don’t like you, you annoy me. But when’s the last time you slept or played a lame game with Benny, or done some homework or anything else you do for fun” Erica asked and Ethan shook his head.

“I need to do this I need to finish it” He said reaching for the notes before she pulled away and inspected them. “These aren’t even about the ghost it’s just random drawings and place names, what even are these symbols?” She asked causing him to shake his head faster this time rocking back and forth a little in his seat. “Not the ghost. A cure!” He argued. “I seen it! you were sad I need to find it yous will all suffer if I don’t I can’t sleep until I find it!” A few confused students from other tables began looking over so Rory quickly grabbed Ethan’s arm and the group headed to an empty class.

“Calm down, E. just breathe for me, man, yea?” Benny spoke softly kneeling In front of him whilst he sat with his hand over his eyes and his legs crossed rocking more rapidly now. “I saw us die, we’re going to die, and yous can’t! Rory isn’t ready to be alone forever! Sarah doesn’t want to join the counsel she wants to get married and have kids and a job! I need to fix this! I can find the cure I just need more time!” The rest of them fell silent and Sarah sat down beside him. “You had a vision?” She asked but he shook his head.

“I can’t sleep. I see it every time I sleep” he spoke softer now, less panicked. They could all see the tears spilling past his hands but chose not to acknowledge it. “It was just a dream Ethan, a nightmare it’s okay” Sarah tried to reach out but he pulled away. “It’s not a dream it will happen! I can’t stop it I don’t know how!”

Benny had seen Ethan have panic attacks and meltdowns before but never one like this, he wasn’t sure how to help but Erica pushed him out the way and kneeled in front of him. “Be logical, Ethan. You know it wasn’t a vision, You know that not sleeping won’t stop it. We need you to help us find this ghost and you can’t do that if you’re focused on stupid dreams. I can’t stand Rory but he’s one of us and vampires are a pack, okay? He won’t be alone. We can still find a cure for Sarah one day but you can’t find it right now” despite her harsh tone Ethan was surprisingly calming down. He rubbed his eyes with his sleeve and nodded to the same rhythm he was rocking at which was much slower now.

Eventually after much persuading Ethan agreed to taking a mental health day and leaving school early, the rest were more than happy for skip school. They piled into Sarah’s car with Ethan sitting on the left side and drove to Ethan’s house. Benny put on some lame space movie whilst Erica tried to argue and put on some lame vampire movie, eventually Sarah won by letting Ethan choose to watch ghostbusters. The five of the curled up on the couch and by 10 minutes into the movie Ethan had already fell asleep with his head resting on Rory’s shoulder. The rest of them decided that from now on they’d keep a closer eye on when their seer was working himself to the bone.

[queer-muslim-culture-is]

hi there! not a ‘culture is’ ask, rather- a question if that’s ok? firstly- i really, really want to thank you for running this blog. before this i literally thought i was the only queer muslim, or at least the only genderfluid one, and i’d felt so isolated and wrong and ashamed, but now i feel so much better about being queer and muslim. thank you…… <3

quick question for you and anyone who reads this blog- y’all, how do i find other queer muslims, online and in real life? in real life most muslims ik or have met are so queerphobic i’m honestly not sure how to root out anyone who is queer or even accepting. in other countries (i live in an African country, kinda in the middle of nowhere lol), ones that are more well-known perhaps, how did any of you meet any other queer Muslims?

also… online. there’s so many queer Muslims online and i’d love to get to know some of you, be friends or just to hear about others experiences and lives. but i literally don’t know how to find y’all, ahh😭😭

hi anon ! im so glad you found us <3 queer muslims have existed since the dawn of islam and will *continue* to exist. youre not the only one, never have been and never will be :]

.

as for finding other online queer muslims : i usually just go scroll through the queer muslim tag ! see who posts or even just likes / rbs the content there

maybe some of my followers are also looking for friends ?

**** if anyones interested, leave a reply or a note in a rb ! ****

.

as for IRL queer muslims well,, tbqh im not sure. personally i got sorta lucky. i grew up in africa as well and my two closest friends at the time both came out to me as bi before i started questioning my sexuality. beyond that, there were two cishet guys who,, didnt always say the right things and i dont think they wouldve understood my gender but they *did* hype me up when i told them i was gay and they told me they knew others like me. i also have an aunt and uncle who, although ive yet to speak to them about this, liked the facebook page for my countrys queer rights activism group (which i was pleasantly surprised existed), so im *reasonably* sure theyre chill

to try and extract some advice from my experience :

check their online presence if you can. do they follow or interact with queer or queer friendly accounts ?

discussing or bringing up queer media and celebrities is always a good way to gauge ppls opinions on the matter. you can be as subtle or as direct w this as you want, but tread carefully cause ppl can get real heated

>> my bi friend recommended me a queer manga before she came out, whilst a homophobic ex friend started ranting abt a video game trailer bc it had a gay couple in it

**** if anyone reading this has more tips, please leave them in the notes ! ****

[aizenat]

@aquad0ll respectfully, this is what is called building a narrative, and I’m really disappointed to see you fall for this.

James was 20/JUST TURNING 21 at the OLDEST at these incidents. At 20, it is not predatory or weird to date a 18/19 year old. In his video (I watched it at the time it came out, so idk why you sent me this article like I wasn’t following that situation), he said that he did not know they were minors when he started talking to them. And when he found out their ages, HE STOPPED TALKING TO THEM. What predator you know does that? Most predators I know/have heard of only back off if they either get the shit beat out of them, or the cops get involved.

I watched the videos of the one boy in particular when he was first making videos. He admits to lying about his age, and also admits that every time James pulled away (due to thinking he was uninterested), he’d purposely pulled James back. Minors are bad at making smart decisions, which is why we didn’t blame them for shit like this (like, sorry, teenagers lie all the goddamn time. I did, you did, we all fucking did. And if you (general you since i have to specify that so ppl don’t take shit personally) didn’t, you were probably a loser with no life who didn’t have a reason to lie lol). BUT James Charles was an emerging adult whose prefrontal cortex wasn’t fully developed either. If he was a regular kid, he would have been sexting from his family home bedroom (or college dorm at best) just like that 16 year old who was posting thirst trap pictures on Snapchat behind his parents back (because I was doing inappropriate shit on the family computer behind my family’s back at that age too like bruh).

I don’t understand how James, at 20 and obviously new to flirting and dating, ESPECIALLY AS A HYPER VISIBLE GAY CELEB, was supposed to know the kid was lying about his age. In the video, he says he didn’t think to make the kid show his id or something UNTIL the backlash. Which, yeah, I sure as hell wouldn’t think to do that either. And not for nothing, even as an adult, if someone asked me to do that to prove my age who wasn’t selling me alcohol or weed, I’d be like hell no! I ain’t showing my fucking id to someone online! The fuck! Like even asking that online sounds crazy ngl. He was a kid his own damn self with no real life experience hanging around kids his age who, due to their lack of fame and/or heterosexuality, wouldn’t have thought of it either! Like of course he didn’t think of it. He didn’t think he was doing anything wrong!

And as soon as he realized he did, he bailed! What more was he supposed to do? He said he wasn’t into older guys; he had to develop a daddy kink just to make sure the dudes he was fucking weren’t minors? He wasn’t allowed to look for young guys around his age that he could relate to? Like honestly, what was the expectation? Truly? What more could he do? He asked, the kid lied but he took him at his word, and then dropped the kid when he learned the truth. What more should he have done?

The hyper diligence is unfair and unrealistic. He’s not Leonardo DiCaprio looking at an 18 year old: he was in the age range where dating an 18 year old was not rare and he wanted to date kids his age. But he’s a groomer because the kids lied to him about their ages? He’s a predator for wanting to date kids around his age? What? College age kids date all the time despite meh age gaps. Before I realized I was a lesbian (actually don’t know how I didn’t realize it with him but lol), I was seeing and making out with a guy who was a 22 year old senior when I was 18. And that was after I stole him from another 18 year old girl I didn’t like (18 year old me didn’t give a fuck lol). And he went and dated another 22 year old senior after I dumped him! He wasn’t looking only for “young” girls to take advantage of! We were on a college campus and so it was common for us to all date each other despite the age gaps because we were “all adults.” And for the most part, we all had similar lifestyles.

Like if you can explain to me exactly how this isn’t “how dare a gay man talk to men, that’s grooming/predatory” 1970s anti gay/conversion therapy propaganda, I may listen. Yall act like he was 25 looking for hs boys to date and when he found out they were younger was like “score! Okay, lemme see how far I can take this.” No! He didn’t do that at all! So how is he a predator?

Like I’m not even being sassy or anything; please explain it to me? How thinking a boy was 2, MAYBE 3 years younger than him, was him praying on minors? Or is that the narrative spun around him thanks to a homophobic 40 year old YouTuber who couldn’t stand watching a then 18-20 year old James Charles speak openly about his sexual attraction to men? How is walking away when he realizes they’re minors means he was grooming them? Like what am I missing? Truly?

But, and this was what spurred my op: HOW DOES HIS NUDES GETTING LEAKED “CONFIRM” HE’S A “PREDATOR?”

Like if I’m truly missing something, sure tell me. But all I’ve ever seen is people just buying into the narrative being spread about him uncritically. And I’ve yet to see anyone make a solid case that James was/is anything but a hyper online gay kid who was struggling to find someone his age truly into him and not clout chasing/interested in him for his fame and money. He was at a level of wealth and success that most kids his age would never have, trying to date kids his age who wouldn’t have had college degrees yet let alone careers and their own place/independent lifestyle. Kid was lonely and then was vilified for trying to look for someone (after a lifetime of watching friends date but being unable to do himself; in that very video in the article, JAMES ADMITS TO BEING A VIRGIN!).

I just can’t see how this is anything other than a narrative being spun about him that James Charles took and ran with. Maybe I’m missing something, but I’ve yet to see the argument made against him that didn’t feel very Britney Spears-esque in the leaps of logic and expectations place on him.