#like high school teacher grade style
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alliumdykes · 1 year ago
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Its so fun to see mcytblr go off the fucking rails in excitement about Tommy’s video. Like not only did he diss the green guy but he also made a BANGER song in the same video (and dissed him a tad in that song as well)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#ugh. im feeling chatty today. probably bc i feel kinda weirdly anxious. like when u can Imagine bad things happening in detail#and like it feels like ur wait for it even tho its in ur imagination? whatever. anyway. ive been watching a lotta#stuff on like professional artists and idk maybe im just in too deep on science academia but i dont. i dunno the culture#seems so weird to me? like what does one do in art school? i guess i took a lot of art in high school but my teacher was kinda trash#all we did was paint realisticly using a grid and i hated that. but i image ur supposed to exercise different styles and medias? how tf#does that get graded? i dunno. i haven't taken any uni level art classes. i should tho. id probably like it#its weird tho. anything that tries to give structure to art stuff seems so weird to me. like u go to school for science stuff to build up#ur background knowledge and i guess u can do that with art but it feels different. i guess bc ur training muscle memory. i dunno#i like to imagine an au where i go to art school but i legitimately cannot fathom doing that. cannot fathom a life outside of my toxic#relationship with academia. i dont even kno what i would want to specialize if i went down that path. maybe illustration#bc it makes me happy when ppl say my style looks like something out of a kids book. i dunno#i guess classes would help with things like forcibly learning shadows and anatomy and composition#maybe i just need to make art friends. like what is ur life like? im too much in a science bubble#i guess going to art school also just devotes all ur time to art. not just tiny pockets of time between all the things u have to get done#god. i can only imagine the panic of procrastinating an art project and physically not having enough time to finish it#thats how i felt with my masters thesis. there was just physically not enough time for me to fix my code in all the ways i needed and rew#rewrite things. but i finished it somehow#ugh. god. i have things i need to finish coloring. i will finish them today. i will#i hate coloring. but colors r so pretty ;_;#unrelated
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struwberrii · 5 months ago
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haikyuu!! at an american highschool ⊹ ‧₊˚ ౨ৎ
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pt.1 here pt.3 here
these are just some of my silly headcannons on how i think hq characters would act and what stereotypes they would be at an american highschool (as an american highschooler ☝️🤓)
characters: kuroo, kenma, bokuto, akaashi, oikawa, iwaizumi
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
kuroo
literally the biggest nerd but sm girls crush on him
the type of guy you gotta hit your friends with the “hear me out” before you say he’s cute
kind of annoying and cocky about his intelligence but ppl still like him
gets real creative about his insults towards ugly people
wears cringey dad graphic tees bc he has no style
crunchy coughs in class a lil too often….
has the oldest most beat up car on the planet like it’s a safety hazard driving that thing
always smells really weird like cigarettes or something despite not smoking a day in his life
debate club.
his note books have like water stains and the covers are like torn apart and look like they were used as a shield during a war
offers all his friends rides but is such a scary driver
makes fun of ppl “lovingly” but he’s lowkey a bully
jokingly owns a minecraft hoodie he bought from the kids section and it’s SO TIGHT it’s a crime to wear that out with his big self
kenma
wears the same clothes multiple days in a row, he don’t gaf he probably slept in ts too 😭
probably doesn’t really smell bad, just kind of…. moist? marinated?
his hair is probably really greasy sometimes
always brings some type of gaming console to school and plays during lunch and during any free time he has
sneaks his phone when he isn’t supposed to and has never been caught
for some reason he sits with cool people despite NEVER talking during class and never going out of his way to make friends (kuroo forces him to hang out with his friends)
raged at his game super loud in class one time and got so embarrassed he begged his counselor to take him out of that class
his grades are ok for someone who never studies or even really pays attention
some of his teachers have gone entire school years without ever remembering his name
has the best comebacks to everyone, he is not afraid to clock you
bokuto
drives the biggest jeep or like ford bronco ever and is actually a decent driver
his parking is TERRIBLE though and he never bothers to fix it
probably would play football (i��m sorry guys) and is constantly at risk of getting kicked off the team for his grades
akaashi helps him study to stay on the team
genuinely the biggest himbo, a bunch of the girls think he’s adorable but he never gets the hint
posts silly gym selfies on his story
book bag has like 1 notebook in it, maybe a pencil if he’s lucky
teachers secretly love him (but not enough to pass him)
i feel like he’d also try and join the swim team for some reason
i feel like he’d eat burger king for lunch :,(
girls confide in him with their drama even though he gives no helpful feedback or advice and just occasionally gasps and goes “no way”
has the most cracked iphone screen on the planet
akaashi
probably taking like half honors classes or AP (idk how it works i’m not at a regular high school sorry guys </3)
gets school iced coffee for breakfast
takes super good and detailed notes and helps bokuto despite being a lower grade
wears the funkiest outfits but girls still think he’s cute
no girls talk to him though because he’s so quiet
always has at least 1 airpod in
sells pics of his notes
sometimes goes off campus for lunch with bokuto, but refuses to eat burger king
other days he probably has salad for lunch
probably in like orchestra but never carries his instrument in the halls bc he thinks it’s embarrassing
bokuto is loud af cheering him on when they have concerts
also sneaks his phone during class but got caught one time and now he’s kind of too scared to use it
iwaizumi
wears those tight work out shirts to show off his muscles
probably drinks like protein drinks in class
has the biggest water bottle ever like bro drinks a gallon of water every period
has a SUPER old iphone or like an android he refuses to upgrade because it gets the job done
always posting about his gains
probably crashed his car and his bumper is like hanging off his car
in like a weight lifting or body building club and is probably the leader of said club
he and oikawa are a very popular duo
occasionally skips class if he ever just doesn’t feel like going
his notes are so vague and short yet he understands and remembers everything he wrote
his grades are insanely good too
literally only wears sports clothing
uses really good smelling cologne but since he’s so active there’s always a hint of must from all the sweat :,(
oikawa
man hoe
he has been in just about every girls dms at some point
his grades are like, okay? he’s not failing
does stuff for female validation, like ik if he had a cat he’d be posting it on his story constantly and like flexing his hand veins
drives a bmw
if he’s actually in a relationship, he’s super loyal tho
his teachers kinda hate him
still uses snapchat and his snap score is like 500k
has decent fashion but dresses mildly gay at the same time
people constantly make jokes abt him and iwa being gay and he gets so mad (maybe he’s projecting idk)
smells a little like vanilla
he and iwa get in n out for lunch and eat in his car
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miguelsslvt · 1 year ago
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punk! miguel x innocent! reader
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word count: 879
TW: nsfw, smoking, hair-pulling, corruption, swearing, creampie.
request: @sukioyakio ★
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A/N: this isn't edited and is poorly made so i'm so sorry. also can i just say thank you so much for over 600 notes on my first drabble?? oh my gosh?? anyways, enjoy and welcome to the club! ^^
imagine punk! miguel being the 'bad rep' of the school. in the 3rd year of college, he took physics, chemistry and spanish language. he would smoke behind the science classrooms, refuse to wear clothes that he calls 'society norms' like a blazer or a button up, and instead wear a black leather jacket with pins like 'pink floyd', or 'anarchist' all around it. he would yell, slander and mock almost every teacher whenever he's in class (which is very rare).
most of the girls honestly adored him, apart from the odd popular girl or two finding him too 'annoying' or too 'muscly' for their liking. he didn't give two shits, he already knew his body count was probably higher then their grades.
but then there's you. sweet, innocent little y/n. where most college students spent their weekends partying, you spent it in your dorm room re-reading 'moby dick' for the 6th time. you took phsycology, english literature and spanish language. and if you were completely honest, the only reason you chose spanish language is because your boyfriend at the time (now ex) was spanish. god, did you regret picking it for him.
you noticed miguel, like every other person in the school would. but your first time was different. you were running late, extremely late for your first class of the day. damn you, alarm. that's when you noticed miguel, outside science block, groaning.
despite being late, you took a curious peek at what the man was groaning about.
'stupid fucking lighter..' he mumbled, trying to light his cigarette, but failing. you knew better then to interfere, to even speak to the most intimidating man in college. but, for some reason, you ended up giving him your lighter.
'thanks, you smoke? i can give you one for a trade.' miguel said, as you smiled so sweetly. you explained how you didn't smoke, or did anything like that, and that you only carried a lighter 'just in case of emergencies'.
that's when miguel's interest in you piqued. you were such a sweet, innocent girl, and that drove something in him. something that he didn't realise he wanted. he usually only went for girls with his taste and style, girls he'd meet at festivals or clubs and were either high as heck or sexy goths. but you, you were different.
soon enough, he realised you were only in his spanish language classes, and that you weren't the best at it. perfect. your weakness was miguel's strength.
that's how you ended up in this situation. bent over miguell's desk in his dorm, mumbling his name as hee proceeded to sbuse his way into your sweet cunt.
'you want to tutor me..? that would be so nice miguel!' you had said so excitedly, there was a spanish exam coming up and miguel so kindly offered to tutor you the friday night. and being so naive and quite desperate for the help, you happily accepted.
his room was filled with different posters and signs like his favourite bands, anarchistic posters, stickers saying things like 'fuck the government!'. his leather jacket was discarded somewhere on the messy floor, as his hands grasped your hips to push you even deeper onto his cock.
'm-miguel.. m-miguel please!' you whined, your mascara running down your face.
he just chuckled, as he pulled your hair lightly, moving you onto the bed as he laid you down on your back, as he started bullying into your pussy once again. he was so mean.
your light blue dress was somewhere on the floor, ripped to shreds. it was your favourite dress, but you had other things to think about at the moment.
'yeah.. you like that, cari��o? you like being fucked like a slut? not used to being so used, are you?' miguel teased, as you just moaned in response. he hadn't realised that fucking a cute little angel could be this enticing. fuck, he could get used to this.
'i.. miguel! i-i've never-' 'shh.. i know, i know, a sweet girl like you hasn't ever been treated this way.. i'm sorry for being so rough, but i dunno.. the way you're tightening around me suggests you like the harshness..' he said, his hand wiping your mascara-smudged cheeks. your body was submitting to him in every way possible, and he felt like a starved predator being fed for the first time in years.
'i-is it normal to feel l-like this..?' you whimpered, eyes shut from the pleasure. 'yes.. yes my sweet girl it's very normal to feel like this.. let me give you all the pleasure you've missed out on.' miguel whispered in your ear, as he started thrusting faster and faster, pushing you over to the edge.
you let out a loud moan, your back arching as you came. the way you clenched onto him drove miguel over the edge too. his thrusts became erratic and sloppy, as he let out one more groan as he came deep inside you.
you were panting, your eyes still shut. he pulled out slowly, placing a sweet kiss on your temple. 'god you're so cute..' miguel whispered to you, as you just whimpered in response. he chuckled deeply.
god, he might just get addicted to such a good innocent little thing like you.
♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎
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sanguineterrain · 2 years ago
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i'll put us back together at heart - s.h.
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Summary: It's 1987. You haven't spoken to Steve Harrington in nearly five years. Then Dustin Henderson tells you about a sweet deal he has at Family Video, where he can rent any movie he wants.
Pairing: ex-best friend!Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Word count: 8.8k
Warnings/tags: friends to strangers to lovers. the reader is twenty in 1987 and i technically made steve twenty-one/about to turn twenty-one. s4 happened but eddie's alive and vecna's dead. no earthquakes or anything like that; reader has no idea about what really happened. lots of angst, mentions of billy hargrove (yuck) and steve's s1 asshole friends.
A/N: oh my lord. i don't know where this eighteen-wheeler of a fic came from but here it is. there is a happy ending, not to worry. i'd never do that to y'all &lt;3 feedback and reblogs are always always appreciated!
divider by firefly-graphics
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August 1981
"I wish we could stay eighth graders forever."
You lift your head from your orange pool floaty. Steve drifts on the surface of the water. His hair is longer, way longer than you've seen it in the three years you've been friends. He says it's better for styling that way; he's even bought a gel and cream for his hair. You don't understand why he wants to change something that doesn't need changing. 
"Why?" you ask. "I thought you were excited for high school."
He hums. The sound echoes in his backyard. 
"It's bigger than middle school. More kids, more teachers, more work. I like eighth grade."
"I'll help you with your work," you say. 
Steve turns his head and smiles at you. Part of his face is in the water, the image distorted. 
"You'll do great," he replies. "You're so smart."
Steve doesn't say those things to get you to help him like other kids do. Steve means it. 
"You'll do great too," you say. "You're funny and nice and my best friend. People will like you."
"You think?" 
You nod. Steve turns his head and closes his eyes again. 
"We'll stay friends, right?" he asks. 
The floaty squeaks as you move to sit up. You paddle to Steve so you can look at his face. 
"Why wouldn't we?"
"I dunno." His eyes are still closed. "You might make super smart friends. And I'll just be a dumbass holding you back."
You shove Steve's shoulder lightly. 
"You are not dumb, Steve."
One muggy June night had had Steve admit he wasn't thirteen, like you and all the kids in your class, but fourteen. He had been held back in third grade after his parents moved from Illinois. It's why my brain's mush, he'd said. I was born dumb.
He had made you swear not to tell anyone. 
"You're not dumb," you say again. "Say it, Steve. Say you're not dumb."
His frown deepens, but he still won't look at you. 
"Tommy says I am."
"Tommy Hagan is a shithead," you shoot back with so much venom, Steve's eyes fly open. "It's not true, whatever he tells you."
You hate that they've been hanging out more this summer. You can't tell Steve that, because it's not like you own him. He can be friends with whoever he wants. But you can't help that your skin crawls when Tommy and his stupid girlfriend, Carol, drops by and pulls Steve away from you. 
“Promise?” he asks.
“Yes, Steve. I promise.”
“‘Kay.” Steve smiles a little. “Thanks.” 
You nod and lay back on the floaty. 
“Wanna get ice cream after this?” he asks. 
“Just us?” 
“Just us.”
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Now. (January, 1987)
You slam the phone back onto the receiver. A girl playing Pac-Man carefully glances at you. 
Whoops. Right. You're still at work. 
You smile and give a thumbs-up. She turns around. You return to your wallowing. 
You’ve called three different video rentals. Jewel Films, which is about to go out of business; More Movies, whose attendant hung up on you before you could say Molly Ringwald; and finally, Blockbuster, which is thirty minutes outside of Hawkins. None of them have a copy of Pretty in Pink. 
And okay. You could just watch another movie. You don't need that specific one. But this year has been shit. You'd thought after starting college, you'd finally break out of the Hawkins forcefield that had limited your social life. You'd thought you'd make friends and not be so terribly lonely. Life is supposed to get better after high school, isn’t it? 
Obviously, whoever said that is a big, fat liar. 
“Dude!” you hear a familiar voice exclaim. “Stop hogging the game!”
Tawny curls peek from under a green and yellow hat. The hat hovers over an older boy who’s glued to the Tempest booth. You go to them. Dustin Henderson lights up when he sees you. You can read his hat now; it says Camp Know Where ‘85.
“Hey, Y/N!” he greets brightly. “This guy has been here for a half hour. I left to get nachos and when I came back, he was still here.”
“I’m this close to beating my score!” the kid insists.
“Come on, guy," you say, one arm on the machine. "You gotta give other people a turn."
The kid, evidently demon incarnate, sneers at you.
“Who’s gonna make me? You?” 
You lean against the side of the game, considering.
“How old are you?”
“Sixteen,” he says.
You snort. 
“Sixteen? And you’re still on Tempest?”
He glances at you. 
“So?”
“Everybody your age is playing Rampage, that’s all.” 
You wink at Dustin. He beams.
“And, uh, I saw a couple girls hanging around Rampage,” you add. 
The kid turns to you. You tilt your head innocently. 
“Seriously?” he asks.
“Seriously. People always flock to the new games.”
Which is true. The girls part is not, but he doesn’t need to know that. With that attitude, he won't be getting many phone numbers anyway. 
You drum your fingers on the game like you have all the time in the world. And sure enough, the kid takes his quarters and heads towards Rampage. Dustin jumps in delight. 
“You’re awesome, Y/N!" 
You grin. “I try. Where are the others?”
Dustin sours.
“They ditched me. To hang out with their girlfriends! Can you believe that shit?” 
“No way!"
He shakes his head.
“I know, right? My friend told me that that’s what happens in high school. People change, y’know? And he’d know, I guess. He’s old like you.”
You scoff. “You make me sound like some kind of ancient. I’m not that old, Henderson.”
“It’s okay, Y/N.” He pats your arm. “In many cultures, the elderly are wise. Now in my experience, this hasn’t been the case. But I think you’re wise.”
“Gee, thanks.”
Dustin smiles like the little shit he is and puts his change in the slot. 
“Well, contrary to what this other friend says, I’m sure it’ll pass,” you say. “You guys will hang out again." 
You swallow your acidic truth. Dustin's a good kid, and so are his friends. You don't want him to turn cynical like you have. He's too young. 
Dustin shrugs, starting the game.
“I guess so. I got a copy of The Lost Boys for us to watch on Friday. They said they’ll be there.”
“Whoa, seriously? That one just came out, how’d you get a copy?”
“My friend,” he says. “The one I mentioned. He works at Family Video and reserves stuff for me.”
“Huh. I thought Family Video was closed."
You'd applied to work there last year and never got a call back. You'd gone by once and it had looked abandoned. Hence why you now work at the arcade across town. 
"It almost did, but Keith took over so now it's barely scraping by."
"Ah. Sweet deal on the movies."
“Yeah,” Dustin agrees, eyes crinkling. “My friend's pretty cool. You'd like him."
"Would I now?"
"Absolutely," he gushes. "He's a total badass too. He won his first fight last year. He used to be a jock but he's recovered." 
"Wow. Impressive."
"Mmhm. I could ask him to hold stuff for you too, if you wanted.”
“You would?”
The game makes a sad game over noise. Dustin sighs and takes a gulp of his slushie.
“Yeah, totally,” he says through a mouthful of blue raspberry ice. “Which one do you want?”
“Pretty in Pink? I missed it in theaters."
“Sure. I’ll tell him to hold it tonight and tomorrow you can pick it up.”
“Cool. Thanks, Dustin.”
Dustin gives you an apple-cheeked grin.
“Gotta stay in good graces with the arcade attendant who lets me play Tempest as long as I want.”
"I don't know what you're talking about," you say, walking away. "Don't get slushie on the game."
"'Kay!"
Dustin only gets a little bit of slushie on the game, but he cleans it up with about a million of the cheap snack bar napkins. When he leaves, he tells you to mention his name at Family. 
"Who do I ask for?" 
"You can talk to either of them," Dustin says. "Doesn't matter. Except Keith. You know Keith, right?"
"Unfortunately.” Keith used to terrorize the arcade before he blessedly moved on. “He works there?"
"Barely." Dustin scoffs. "He's almost never there, so don't worry. And feel free to ask for more movies. They owe me one."
Your sole interactions are with professors and a gaggle of high school freshmen. But now you get to watch any movie you want. Maybe this year won't totally suck. 
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The bell rings pleasantly as you step inside. There's a few people on line, so you take your time walking in. There's a movie display with about thirty copies of RoboCop. A cardboard cutout of RoboCop stares back behind his red helmet.
"Can I help who's next?"
You go to the counter. A girl about your age with a choppy haircut smiles at you but it's sort of strained. She has a pin on her green work vest that says Ask me!
"Please don't ask for Adventures in Babysitting," she says. 
"Oh. No, I'm, uh, Dustin's friend?" 
You can't believe you're name-dropping a high schooler. 
She nods in realization. 
"Oh, yeah. God, I keep telling that dweeb not to promise holds."
You wince. 
"Sorry. If it's going to get you in trouble…"
Her brows raise. She smiles a bit. 
"No, it's okay. Usually my coworker deals with it but, well. He's taking an extra long break today. So, what movie was it?"
"Pretty in Pink," you say. 
"Classic," she replies. "John Hughes fan?"
"Somewhat. I didn't get to see it in theaters. I like Molly Ringwald."
She grins.
"Me too. She's pretty."
"Super pretty," you agree. 
The girl considers you, then sticks out her hand. 
"I'm Robin," she says. "Nice to meet you."
You take her hand. "Y/N.”
"Did you go to Hawkins High?"
"I did. Graduated last year."
"Oh, cool. Are you in college?"
You nod. 
"Hawkins State. Twenty minutes from here."
"Sweet! I'm taking a gap year, but afterwards, I’m gonna apply there. It's cheap. College is college, right?"
"College is college," you agree. "But I wish I'd gone away for school."
You don't know why you're telling her this. You've known Robin for all of two minutes. But she seems friendly. And her sense of style is cool. She wears a blue blazer and tie underneath her vest. 
"How come?" she asks. 
"Everybody from Hawkins is there," you say. "And I… I just want a new start."
Robin smiles sympathetically. 
"They're jerks," she says. 
You huff. "Yeah."
You'd turned yourself into a social recluse a million years ago. It's your own damn fault you can't befriend anybody in this town. At least, not anymore. 
Robin types into the computer, then smacks the monitor. She groans. 
"Ugh. Gimme a second," she says. "Stupid technology."
"No problem," you say, smiling. You like her. Maybe you can integrate Family Video into your regular routine, become friends. You can see Robin becoming a good friend. One you wouldn't grow apart from. 
She disappears into the back room. You browse the old releases and stop at Die Hard. This one you saw in theaters. John McClane is a badass. 
You think of Dustin, and his supposedly badass new friend. It's too bad you didn't meet today. Dustin has a good sense about people. If he says so, it's possible you and this friend really would get on. 
The bell rings again. You're slow to look up. The entrance is empty when you do. You keep reading about John McClane's adventures. 
"Have you been waiting long?"
You turn at the new voice. The video slips out of your hand and clatters onto the counter. 
Steve’s hair has grown since you last saw it. He looks different too, though he has yet to break out of his signature church boy polos. There's a smattering of stubble on his jaw. His arms are lean with muscle. He wears a matching work vest like Robin's, name tag printed Steve in blocky font. 
He looks at where you've dropped Die Hard and smiles. 
"This is a good one," he says. "John McClane is a total badass."
You blink.
"Did you want to rent that one?" he continues, meeting your eye. 
"No," you manage. 
"Okay, no problem. Just browsing?" 
He doesn't remember you. 
You stare and stare. Steve leans in, concerned. He's changed, but he hasn't. He's still handsome with his swoopy hair and big, dark eyes, but the Steve you knew wouldn't have been caught dead working at a video store.
And he doesn't remember you. 
"Are you okay?" he asks, sounding genuine.
You take a step back from the counter. The blood roars in your ears. Robin comes back in, Pretty in Pink in hand. She looks at you, then at Steve. 
"Got it!" she tells you. "Computer should work now."
"I have to go," you say. 
You don't look at Steve again, instead focusing on Robin. 
Her brows rise. 
"Oh. Is everything—"
"I forgot my wallet," you blurt. "I can't pay for the movie. Sorry."
"That's okay, we can just—"
You run. The bell chimes over her words. You keep running until you get to the bus stop, three blocks away. 
Only there do you stop to catch your breath. 
And then you cry. 
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February 1982
"What do you think about Marie?" 
You look up from your textbook. Steve is doodling in the margins of his notes. You gently prod his arm. He returns to reading but his leg starts to bounce under the table. 
"Marie Iverson?" you ask.
"Yeah." 
Steve glances at you. He pushes his hair back. It had taken him freshman year to get his bearings with all the gels and creams, but now, his hair is a point of pride, always perfectly coiffed. Seniors call him "The Hair" and high-five him in the hallway. You hate it. 
"I don't know. I don't know her that well."
"She's cute." 
"I guess so," you say. 
It's harder to get Steve to focus on homework these days. Last year, he happily made flashcards with you and even bought fancy gel pens to share for your notes. Now, he prefers to talk about girls or—
"I was thinking of asking her out."
The tip of your pencil breaks. You really ought to start using pens, but you don't like being unable to erase. 
"Shit, here. Take mine." 
Steve offers his still perfectly sharpened pencil. You stare at it. 
"Y/N?" 
"Yeah." You take the pencil. "Thanks."
"Sure. So what do you think?" 
"I don't know, Steve. I thought you talked about this stuff with Tommy."
"I would, it's just…" Steve shifts uncomfortably. "He can be rude about it sometimes. He doesn't even get why we're friends, y'know? Doesn't understand why I don't just date you."
Tommy is a moron, but you've said that since last year, and Steve's never listened before. 
"Some people don't get it," you say mildly, because you have an upcoming French test and there's no use in getting upset over Tommy Hagan right now. 
"But you do. And you know about this stuff better than me. Girls and all."
"Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I know what girls are best for you to date, Steve. It's weird to talk about."
Steve deflates. 
"Oh. Yeah, I guess so. Sorry."
You sigh and rub your temple. 
"I thought you knew all about that," you say, extending an olive branch. "Asking girls out and stuff."
"Well, I mean, I've kissed girls but I've never… you're, like, the only girl I really know."
Something like pride swells in your chest. Selfishly, you want to keep Steve. You don't want to help him if it means losing him. Oh, you're so greedy, aren't you? You watch Steve run off with Tommy and Carol and nameless seniors and seethe, because Steve was yours first. Steve is yours.
"Y/N?"
"Yeah." You give him back his pencil and fish for another one in your bag. "Did you ever think about writing how you feel?" 
"Writing?"
"Yeah, like a poem or a letter."
"I'm terrible at writing," Steve laments. "The letters get all jumbled and I never spell a damn thing right."
He'd told his mom once how letters melt into each other, how b's become d's. She'd taken him to get his eyes checked, and when the doctor said Steve was fine, Deborah Harrington had told her son to stop begging for attention. 
"Someone who really likes you won't care about spelling mistakes, Steve," you tell him. "As long as you write from the heart. Don't do that cheesy shit and quote Romeo and Juliet. They're young, impulsive, and they die at the end, and that's not romantic."
Steve laughs, nose scrunched. 
"What!" you demand. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing, 's just—of course you'd have something to say about quoting Shakespeare."
"It's overdone," you say, crinkling your nose. "And girls would much rather read your own words." 
"So you think I should write Marie a letter?"
"If you really like her," you say. "Only write letters for girls you really like. Otherwise they lose their meaning."
Steve frowns. "I don't know if I should write her a letter, then."
Don't, you want to say. Don't write any of them letters.
You shuffle your papers into a stack. 
"Can we study now?" you ask.
"Oh, sure, yes. Sorry."
"You don't have to keep apologizing, Steve."
He shifts closer to you. His leg has stopped bouncing.
"Lemme take you out," he says. 
You nearly swallow your tongue. 
"Wh–what?"
"For ice cream," Steve clarifies. "Like we used to. Dairy Queen."
"Oh. Okay, sure. But after we study."
Steve beams. "I'll drive you."
Steve's dad had bought him the BMW as a birthday present this year—not that Richard Harrington actually knows when his own son's birthday is, considering the gift was three months early. Still, it's another point of pride for Steve and about all anybody talks about whenever his name comes up. Steve is the only person in your grade with a car. Junior girls hit him up for rides. You make yourself scarce when they do. 
You don't care. You liked Steve before the car. And the clothes. And the hair. 
Your throat feels tight. You want your best friend back. 
"Just us?" you check. 
You can't tell these days. Steve seems to hang out with everybody but you. You're shocked he'd even asked to study together. 
"Oh, sure," Steve says. "I just have to drop off Tommy and Carol first, okay?" 
You check your watch and close your book. 
"I have class," you lie. "I'll see you later." 
Steve catches your wrist. He looks at you and you're struck by how sweet his face is. It's not like you didn't understand why girls want him but it's Steve. Your Steve, who still sleeps with a nightlight and who framed a picture of a sports car he cut out from a magazine because he'd thought it would make him cooler (it didn't. You still tease him about it.) 
"Please," he says. "For helping me."
Your eyes slit. "I didn't help you to get stuff, Steve. I helped you because you're my friend."
Steve blinks like he's forgotten what it's like to be friends with someone just for the sake of being friends. 
"You're right," he agrees. "You're not like that. I'll tell Tommy and Carol to find another ride. It'll be just us. I promise."
You perk up at that. "Really?"
"Really. You can sit in the front with me and we'll play Bruce Springsteen, like we used to. Please?" 
"Okay, Steve." You ache. You’ve never been very good at telling him no. "I'll meet you in the parking lot."
And maybe… maybe your best friend is still in there after all.
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Now
You ask your shift manager if you can work at the snack bar today. It's in the back and you won't have to deal with any game hogs. 
"You didn't put enough syrup in my slushie."
You might have overshot the perks, though. 
Slushie Girl's hair is bleach blonde and hairsprayed to God. You want to tell her that all that hairspray doesn't keep friends. Or brain synapses. 
"I don't make the slushie," you say for the third time. "That's how it comes out of the machine."
She shoots you a mean look. 
"I'm complaining to the manager."
You paste on a smile. 
"You do that. Have a nice day."
She finally walks away, probably on the hunt for your manager, who's definitely smoking a joint outside to avoid this exact situation. 
Dustin comes around the corner and this time, he's with the rest of his party. You smile. 
"Hey, Y/N!" Dustin greets.
Lucas waves at you. Max and Mike are arguing and therefore are in their own world. And there's their newest addition, El, whose story you're still not clear on, as well as Will, quiet as always. 
You lean your elbows on the countertop. 
"What'll it be, gang?"
"Six nachos and six slushies, please. One blue raspberry, three cherry, and two Coke."
You fill up the slushies first. Dustin dances on his toes. 
"So did you pick up the movie?" he asks.
"Oh." You try to smile. "I went there but I couldn't. I forgot my money. Pretty dumb of me."
Dustin accepts this with no argument. 
"Well, you can go back. They'll hold it for a few days."
You're never setting foot in there again, but you don't tell Dustin that. 
He takes his slushie and immediately starts drinking. 
"Slow down, dude. You'll get a brain freeze," you say. 
"You sound like Steve," Dustin informs you. "Doesn't Y/N sound like Steve?" 
Lucas nods. 
"Yup. They're both parents."
You feel queasy. You focus on making the nachos, the cheese pouring out thick and gooey. 
"Did you meet Steve?" Dustin asks. "You probably know him from high school, but he's different now."
"Yes," you say quietly. "I knew him."
"I promise he's different. Even Mike likes him, and Mike hated his guts. Right, Mike?"
Mike pauses in his animated discussion with Max and looks at you. 
"What?"
"I'm telling Y/N about how Steve is cool now," Dustin explains. 
"Oh." Mike shrugs. "He's fine. Much better now that he's not dating my sister."
"He's not?" you ask. "But they were in love. I–I mean, that's what I heard, at least."
"She dumped his ass," El says, and it sounds a little ridiculous in her soft monotone. 
Max scoffs, taking her Coke slushie. 
"Did you live under a rock? It was a huge thing."
"Now Steve is lame," Mike says with a snort. 
"Getting dumped doesn't make somebody lame," you say with an old ferocity you'd thought had disappeared. 
"Okay, jeez." Mike holds up his hands. "Steve's alright. He's different, that's for sure."
"He's our paladin," Lucas says. "A protector." 
Dustin nods eagerly.
You blink. "He protects you guys?"
Max elbows Lucas. You have no idea what that's about. El steps forward and smiles softly. 
"Yes," she says. "He's our babysitter."
"Aren't you guys freshmen? I thought you were too old for babysitters."
"Oh no, Steve doesn't get paid for it or anything," says Mike. "He just does it 'cause he has nothing else to do."
"That's not true!" Dustin argues. Then he shrugs. "Well, it's a little true. But he does like us. He's a good guy. He cares about his friends."
You bite your tongue, not wanting to reply to that. 
"That's great, guys. The girl, Robin? She seems pretty cool too."
"That's Steve's best friend," says Dustin. "She's great."
"Oh." You wince. "Best friend?" 
Dustin huffs. “Yeah. They don’t date. He won’t say why."
"Platonic with a capital P," Max confirms. “It’s obviously because he’s in love with somebody else.”
“Not Nancy!” Lucas protests.
“There are other girls besides Nancy, Sinclair.”
You busy yourself with serving the last set of nachos. The kids pull out crumpled bills and coins in return. You count the money and stack it directly into the register; you know there won't be any change. 
When you turn, they're still there. Dustin has his signature grin on, eyes squinty. 
"Yeees," you drag out. "Can I help you?"
"We need a favor," Lucas says. "Please."
"Hmm." You lean over the counter. "What's up?"
"They're showing Prince of Darkness on Friday," Dustin explains. "But it's rated R."
"So just sneak in. Isn't that what you guys did at Starcourt?" you ask.
"We had an inside man then. They're a lot stricter at the new one," Lucas frowns. "They ask for IDs 'cause some mom complained after her kid snuck in to watch Risky Business." 
"And why can't your babysitter take you?"
You sneer at the thought. Steve spending his Friday nights herding a bunch of adolescent teens into a movie theater. There's a reason you consider Dustin affectionately delusional. 
"He has a stupid date," Dustin groans. "He's a serial dater, Y/N. It's terrible. He gets lucky once and totally ditches us."
Now that sounds like the Steve you knew. 
"I see. I don't really like horror stuff."
"You don't have to stay!" Dustin insists. "You can watch whatever you want after we’re in. I'll pay you back for the ticket."
“This would be so much easier if Steve still worked at Scoops,” Mike grumbles.
You blank for a moment, the image of Steve in a sailor’s hat and those ridiculous shorts whiting your brain.
“Um,” you begin. “You know I don’t have a fancy BMW to cart you guys around in, right?”
“It’s cool. We’ll get there,” Max says.
“So?” Dustin bounces on his toes. “Sooo?”
You sigh. It’d been nice of Dustin to get you the movie, even though you’d chickened out and ran. And it’s not like you have anything better to do.
“Okay,” you say. “I’ll get you guys in.”
Dustin pumps his fist. “Thanks, Y/N! You’re my favorite old person.”
You roll your eyes. “Funny. Any funnier, and I might rescind my help, Henderson.”
“Byeeee!”
They all disperse to the arcade. You wonder how on earth Steve got involved with them.
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March 1983
“Okay, but if you had to choose.”
“Pass. I would literally rather swallow pennies than kiss Principal Coleman’s bald-ass head, Steve.”
Steve takes a triumphant swig of beer. “So you’re saying you’ve got the hots for Benny the janitor.”
“No!” you insist through giggles. “I don’t. God, you’re gross. Can’t believe I’m being treated like this on your birthday.”
“Exactly! My birthday.”
He rolls onto his side in his deck chair and nearly faceplants on the cement. You reach out, reaction time delayed.
“Steve!” you yell. “Careful.”
“I am, I am,” he mumbles, and rights himself on the chair. “Jus’ wanna see you better.”
“I keep telling you you need glasses.”
“I do not,” he whines. “My vision’s ten outta ten. Could a guy who needs glasses do this?”
He crumples up a Twinkies wrapper and throws it towards the garbage. The wind picks up and sends the wrapped into the pool. 
“Shit,” he says.
You belly laugh in delight.
“Wait, wait, redo. Go fish it outta there.”
“Oh, as if. I’m not going in there. I told you you need glasses. Even Mother Nature agrees.”
"She does not. Mother Nature thinks I'm a doll."
You hum and close your eyes. Alcohol always makes you sleepy. 
The chair scrapes against the concrete. You hear a crinkle of a chip bag. Those are your only warning before you’re crushed by two hundred pounds of drunk boy. 
“Steve!” You wheeze, squirming as his hair tickles your face. “Get off!”
"’M sleepy,” he mumbles.
“Well, don't sleep on me, weirdo.”
“‘S cold.”
“You run, like, a hundred degrees, don’t lie.”
He lifts his head. “So you’re saying I’m hot?”
“I’m saying all that booze cooked your brain,” you reply sweetly.
“I’ve been wounded,” he moans and plops onto your shoulder.
“Ugh.” You resign to your fate and lean back. Steve’s not actually that heavy; even drunk, he has a lot of control over his weight and he’s situated himself so he isn’t crushing anything important. No, you squirm underneath him for a very different reason. 
“Steeeeve,” you whine. “You’re gonna squish me into a pancake.”
“Can’t believe no one else came.”
You still. Steve’s face remains buried in your shoulder. His body is beside yours, and he has an arm slung over your belly.
“I didn’t—didn’t want a party,” he continues. “I always throw parties. I thought I’d do somethin’ different. An’ none of them even wished me a happy birthday. ‘Cept you.”
You rest your hand on the back of his hair. It’s wind-blown and messy from the drinks, free of his heady hair gel. You’ve never loved it more.
“Did you tell them your birthday is today?” you ask gently, even though you know he did.
“Yeah,” he says. “Told all of ‘em. Guess they weren’t listening.”
“I listen.”
Steve looks up at you. His eyes are glassy.
“God, I miss you,” he says.
You feel the wall you’ve built this year crumble, just a little. 
“I’m right here, Steve.”
“I know but—been a jerk lately. I know I have. You’re my best friend, okay? Nothing’ll change that. I–I love you so much.”
Your breath hitches. Steve barrels on, not noticing.
“And I’ll be better. We’ll hang out more. Not–not here, drunk. But for real. We’ll go to the movies. Y’wanna see a movie?”
“Yeah,” you whisper. “I wanna see a movie.”
“‘Kay, what movie? Anything you want. We’ll get popcorn and Raisinets.”
“You hate Raisinets,” you choke through a watery laugh.
“I’d eat Raisinets anytime with you.”
You lay there, in the dark, the only sound being the pool filter.
“Let’s watch the new James Bond.”
“Hmm, okay. But you’ll have to say the name eventually.”
Your nose crinkles. “I am not calling it by its name.”
His laugh is warm in your neck. 
You don’t tell Steve to get up again. He snuggles into you, leg over yours. You fall asleep like that, curled underneath him.
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Now
“Wait.” Max stops. “Shouldn’t we have, like, a game plan?”
“Game plan?” El asks quietly.
“Yeah. Some of us aren’t so great at playing it cool.”
She stares at Lucas.
“I play it cool!” he squawks. “I am so cool!”
“Right.”
“Just let Y/N do the talking,” Will says. “She’s technically the adult so she should act like this is a conscious choice.”
You shrug. “Makes sense to me.”
Dustin beams. “This is gonna be great!”
“Or a total disaster,” Max says.
You go to the counter, the kids trailing behind like ducklings.
“Six tickets for Prince of Darkness, please,” you say. “And uh, one for Dirty Dancing.”
The attendant looks at you, then at the kids.
“Don’t you mean seven tickets for Prince of Darkness?” she asks. “It’s rated R.”
Shit. “Right, yes. Sorry. Seven tickets. And one for Dirty Dancing. We have another friend who’s late.”
“Uh-huh.” 
The attendant, whose bored expression you’ve recognized on your own face after long days in the arcade, hands you your tickets without any questioning. 
“I think we’re in the clear,” Lucas whispers when you enter the concession area. 
You wait for them to buy their snacks. Max persuades Lucas to let her mix M&Ms into their bucket of popcorn. He agrees and shuffles closer so they’re pressed shoulder to shoulder while they share. 
“Okay, last stretch,” Mike says, shoveling a frighteningly large handful of sour worms into his mouth. “We just have to get past the ticket guy.”
Said ticket guy is a kid who can’t be much older than you. You think you might’ve gone to school together, but you’ve made it a point to eviscerate everything about high school from your mind.
“Hey,” you say, trying to act cool. Maybe you’re the one Max should’ve been worried about, instead of Lucas. “Uh, here are our tickets.”
He takes the tickets, then looks behind you.
“Prince of Darkness is only for people seventeen and older,” he says.
“I’m an adult, so I’m with them,” you explain. “I’m, like, their guardian?”
“Yeah, uh—” He hands you your tickets. “No can do. There needs to be an adult for each person under seventeen.”
“Come on,” you cajole. “They’re high schoolers. It’s not like they’re gonna be scarred for life watching some zombies, or whatever.”
He shrugs. “Rules are rules.”
“She’s an adult!” Dustin argues.
“Look, if you’re gonna hold up the line, I’m gonna have to—”
“Yo, Gillespie! That you?”
Dustin turns and lights up. The seven of you part for Steve Harrington and his date, a pretty strawberry blonde you think you had biology with.
“Harrington, man, what’s up!” 
Ticket Prick gets up to slam Steve into a bear hug. You barely resist an eye roll.
“Shit, I haven’t seen you in a year! Where’ve you been all this time? Hey, did you hear about that shit with Munson?”
Steve flinches. It’s a tiny movement, indiscernible to the trained eye. But it’s there all the same.
“Gillespie, c’mon. Don’t bring the party down with that,” Steve says, all sweet charm. 
“Sorry, sorry. Daisy,” he greets the girl attached to Steve’s arm.
“Gil,” she replies with a giggle. “You smell like popcorn butter.”
America’s future taxpayers. Terrifying. 
“Are you gonna let us in or not?” Max interrupts, arms folded. 
You feel a burst of pride.
Gil shoots her a dirty glare and puffs up, ready to fight a fourteen year old. Steve cuts in smoothly.
“Gillespie, listen. I know her.” He points to you. You bristle. “I can personally vouch that she’s just trying to do right by these kids. They wanted to see Prince of Darkness, y’know? Get away from the parents.”
“It’s a sick film,” Gil agrees. “You seen it?”
No, of course Steve hadn’t seen it. He hates horror. 
“Planning on it,” Steve says, the ultimate image of playing it cool. “Look, you remember sneaking into the movies. Fast Times? Ring any bells?”
Max rolls her eyes. You’re inclined to do the same.
Gil laughs dopily, and nudges Steve. “Hell yeah, I do. That was a crazy night, Harrington.”
Steve smiles thinly. “Sure was. So whaddya say? For old times’ sake?”
Gil considers your little troupe. Then he shrugs.
“Why not. Manager’s not here anyway.”
He takes the tickets and tears them to stubs, then gives them back.
“Theater six. On your left. Enjoy.”
The kids stampede into the left theater wing. You hang back with your own ticket. 
“Appreciate it, man,” Steve says, all smiles. “Take care, alright?”
“Hey, you too, Harrington! We gotta catch up!”
Steve and Daisy go in. You expect them to walk right past you, and Daisy does, predictably. But Steve stops.
“I’ll catch up, okay?” he tells her. “Find us some good seats?”
She paws at him a little, then goes, sodas in hand. You stiffen as Steve walks and stops three feet away from you. 
“Hey,” he says. “Sorry about that. Gil’s an asshole.”
“I know. He yawned during my poetry reading sophomore year. And then you guys went to the movies together.”
Steve shrinks. “Your poems were great.”
You’re suddenly exhausted.
“What do you want, Steve?”
“I just… I wanted to see you. Say hi.”
“Okay.” You cross your arms. “Hi.”
“You forgot your movie,” he says. “The other day.”
“I didn’t want it that much.”
“Dustin said you looked everywhere for it.”
“Well, in the end, it didn’t really matter,” you say. “Not enough to stay.”
“Y/N—”
“I think your date’s waiting for you,” you interrupt. “Better get back to her. Wouldn’t want to taint your reputation.”
Steve makes a noise like he’s been wounded. You turn on your heel before you can think better of it. 
“Wait.” He catches your wrist. Steve’s grip is light, like you’re something precious to hold. You wrench your arm away. “Y/N, I want to apologize. I’m sorry.”
“For what?” you ask. “For forgetting me? I didn’t expect you to remember, Steve.”
“I didn’t forget you,” he insists. “I could never forget you. I wasn’t—please, can I just explain?”
“I don’t need your explanations,” you snap. The hurt corrodes your tongue like acid. “I know what happened. We were both there. You left.”
Steve’s eyes are huge and dark. He looks like you just stabbed him in the heart, and that makes you feel worse. You’d thought telling him how much it hurts would put you back together, but all it did was break you more.
So you run. Again. 
You slam through a back exit and rip your ticket into a million pieces. The wind is cold and unforgiving. Your eyes sting. 
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You call out sick for two days in a row. You kind of expect to get fired, but then again, people have been leaving Hawkins and if you’re not here to serve the masses their slushies, who will be?
So, after lying in bed not thinking about movies and strawberry blonde girls and how sick you are of this town, you get up and put on your arcade vest.
Now it is two in the afternoon. You’d heard it was supposed to snow today.
Robin eyes the snack counter like it holds the next plague outbreak. You don't blame her; you make it a point to wash up to your elbows after work.
"Slushie?"
She looks at you like she’d forgotten you were there. "What?"
You point a thumb at the machine. "Are you here for a slushie?"
"Oh. No, sorry. Red dye makes me insane in the brain. Steve actually—"
Robin stops, grimaces. So he's told her. Probably everything, if the kids had been telling the truth. 
You're honestly surprised she's here. Unless it’s to, like, swirlie you in the vat of artificial cheese. 
"Are you here to drown me in nacho cheese?" you ask.
Robin's eyes go wide as dinner plates. "What? No!"
"Just checking." You lean against the counter. "What can I do for you, Robin?" 
Robin suddenly looks like she's never interacted with a human being before. You like her a lot. Steve probably does too. 
"I came to drop off your movie." She holds the tape over the counter like it's a pool of lava. 
"But I didn't pay for it." You shove your hand in your jean pocket; you only have a couple dollars on you. "I guess I can get you the money tom—"
"It's on the house. For a fellow Molly fan."
Robin wiggles the tape with two fingers. You take it and wait for a catch. There is none. 
"Thank you," you say. "You didn't have to do that."
"Actually, it wasn't me," she confesses. "I'm just the mailman."
You prepare to hand it back but Robin shakes her head. 
"He's not going to pop out of the slushie machine, okay? He's just trying to make it up to you."
"He doesn't need to make it up to me," you bite, except those aren’t the words you mean. "Why does he even care? We're not in high school anymore."
Robin smiles a sad smile. 
"I know," she says. "We’re not. I know he should've known to fix things earlier. He's received a lot of blows to the head, though, so he's still catching up."
The thought turns your stomach. More? More you weren’t there to protect him from?
"He doesn't owe me anything," you say and wave the tape again. "You can take it back and leave it for somebody else."
"Y/N, I know we don't know each other, like, at all. But it's important to me you know that Steve cares about you, because you’re important to him. And you knew him way before I did, and you probably know a lot of stuff I don't, and that's good because he has a friend like me, but he should also have a friend like you too, Y/N."
"I don't want to be his friend," you mumble. 
"Yeah," Robin says. "I figured. But I don't think that's a confession he should hear secondhand."
You look at her, stunned. She's such a clever girl. You hope she treats Steve well.
"If you two are—"
"We're not," she says, like this is a regular explanation she goes through. "Steve and I are friends. Steve has crashed and burned with every single date since his fall from regency. Steve is the best person I've ever met." 
"Yeah, I’ve heard. You and Dustin are his biggest fans."
Robin snorts. "Trust me, I'm not proud of it."
You shake your head. Your eyes feel hot. 
"This town is so shit," you say. 
"Yeah," Robin agrees. "It really fucking is. But I'm not asking you to give this town a second chance. Just him."
"Why are you trying so much?" you ask. "You don't even know me."
Robin shrugs. "No, but you're the one person Steve used to be friends with who's not an asshole, and I think us non-assholes need to band together."
"I can sometimes be an asshole."
"Me too. So are those little dweebs. How about calling ourselves the Semi-Assholes Club?" 
You laugh. "We'll get jackets."
"With partially drawn butts on the backs," Robin says with a giggle. 
You look at the tape in your hand. 
"Does Steve like John Hughes?" 
"He does. He's a total sap for those. He thinks he's in his own coming-of-age movie because he's delusional."
He sounds perfect. He sounds like the friend you loved. 
"I did want to watch this one," you say. 
"It won't hurt you to," Robin promises. 
You suppose not.
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December 1984
You don't believe the whispers. All week, the rumor mill spins tales of Billy Hargrove finally pushing the King off his throne. There's no way he'll show his face, a girl at the adjacent lunch table astutes. I sure as fuck wouldn't.
Steve Harrington is a loser. Steve Harrington got dumped for Jonathan Byers. Steve Harrington may as well be dead, and on and on. 
Every line gets you angrier. A boy who sits behind you in chemistry taps his pencil like he always does. Tap, tap, tap. 
Halfway through class, you snap at him to quit it. He does, but not without a tinge of embarrassment. You’re so angry this year. Angry at your loneliness, angry at the unfairness of said loneliness. You might’ve done this to yourself, and that fact only gets you angrier.
You see Nancy Wheeler in the hallways with Jonathan Byers, and the confirmation of that rumor should make you happy. It doesn't. 
A week later, most of the excitement has died down. Everybody’s moved onto the next big thing, which is to deduce who fucked in Vice Principal White's office. One look at V.P. White, and it had been decided that it can't have been White himself. 
You can't care less. Once upon a time you might’ve laughed about it with a friend, but you don't have any more of those, and high school is bullshit with or without them. So.
Steve walks in twenty five minutes into the period. Mrs. Kaplan gives him a downright beastly glare and demands to know where he had been. 
"I'm sorry," is all he says. "If you give me detention, I understand."
There are a few snickers that rub at an old hurt, one that had flared up whenever somebody dared to make fun of your best friend. It doesn't bother me, he'd said, and you'd known it was a lie. 
It bothers me, you’d replied, and Steve had hugged you tight.
Mrs. Kaplan seems more stunned Steve hadn't swaggered past her like a peacock escaped from the zoo and lets him go sit down without a fight. He takes the only empty desk, two rows across from you. You stare. You can't not. 
Half of his face looks like it was mashed in a garbage disposal. It's purple and a sickly yellow. His eye and lip are still swollen. You stare and stare. You feel queasy. 
Billy had done that. You're so angry. You think you might never get past this grief, this loss of a once permanent fixture in your life. 
No one wished Steve a happy birthday this year, you realize out of nowhere.
You stare and stare and stare until Steve looks right back. You're blindsided by thick guilt, like blinking through a milkshake. And then the familiar curl of anger returns because why the fuck should you feel guilty? You aren't the one who fucked everything up, who mascerated this good thing. Steve did this to himself. Steve deserves to walk the halls alone. It's Steve's fault. 
But when you look at him, at his raw wounds, at his bruised knuckles, you know that he already believes he deserves every punch Billy Hargrove gave him. 
You hate Steve Harrington. But you really wish you'd been there to drive him to the hospital. 
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Now (And Forever)
The tape sits buried in your drawer for three days. You don’t know what Family Video’s return policy is, but you hope you’re not racking up late fees. You doubt name dropping Dustin will work again.
It’s Saturday when you decide to watch Pretty in Pink. You remove the video from its sleeve. An envelope falls out.
The front has your name printed in squished, loopy script. You remember January at Steve’s house, a stack of thank-you cards courtesy of his mother awaiting the Harringtons’ sign-off. Steve’s hand would cramp and you’d take over while he made grilled cheese for the both of you. Love, The Harringtons, and there was no love in that house, but you think maybe Steve loved enough to make up for it. 
Hi, the letter begins. I hope you’re good. Robin told me you’re going to Hawkins State.
That’s fucking amazing. I’m so proud of you. Are you still writing poetry? I liked that one you wrote about the birds who shared a branch and kept each other warm. I still have it in my notebook in my room.
I’m sorry for the other night. I’m sorry for every night since freshman year, honestly. I’m kind of a dumbass, but you know that, so it doesn’t really excuse anything. I think I’ve actually lost brain cells since we drifted apart.
You crumple the corner, suddenly hot with anger. Who keeps telling him he’s dumb? You want names.
I didn’t forget you, you know. I got scared and I thought maybe I could ease into it, but then you recognized me and… well. I don’t blame you for running.
Anyway. I’m talking too much about myself, when there’s nothing to say. I’m really sorry about what I did, or, actually, what I didn’t do. Somebody told me I was living on autopilot, and that it wasn’t really living at all. I think it was you. 
I’m not living on autopilot anymore. I woke up. And I realized that you’re the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to me. I love Robin and the kids and this little family that has apparently invayd invaded your life too. Sorry about that. They never leave and they eat all your food. Good luck. 
But I miss you. I always have.
Shit happened these last few years that I’ll tell you about one day, if you want. I’d rather not, though, because you’ve always been the paranoiac (like that one? Robin said it’s an SAT word) of the two of us and I feel like this would just make you even more of one. But I will tell you, if you want to hear it. I want to tell you everything. I want you to tell me everything too. Like we used to.
I want you to tell me how college is going. Who the annoying jerks in your classes are so I can go beat them up (kidding). I want you to stop by to rent movies so I can lend them for free and you’ll yell at me about taking advantage of fre friendships. 
Fuck, I miss you. It’s always been there, bubbling below the surface. I never stopped missing you. I never stopped loving you. I’m sorry I didn’t write this sooner. I know you said writing is how we express things we can’t say. You were right. You always are. Can’t believe I forgot that. 
It’s okay if you don’t want to be friends. I mean, it hurts, but I respect it. I understand. Most days, I can’t believe people can bear to be around me. But then I hear your voice in my head, telling me that most people are shitheads and that I’m golden and. Well, I don’t know if I believe that, but you were right that most of the people I surrounded myself with were shitheads. Except you, of course. And then I went ahead and fucked that up.
I’ve been working on finding the non-shitheads of the world. I think I’m doing pretty well. And I wrote this because I realized that while I will probably end up buried in this fucking town, you’re going to do something incredible. And nothing incredible ever happens in Hawkins, so I figure you’ll be far away when you do it. 
I didn’t want to miss this chance to write things I never said. So here they are. And you can do whatever you want with them. You’ve always been the best of the two of us. I trust you.
You should watch Dirty Dancing. You’ll like it. I did. I’ll see it again if you want. I’ll watch anything with you.
Did you know there’s another Bond movie coming out in the summer? We could watch that one together too. If you wanted more time to decide.
Sincer
Lo
Your friend,
Steve
You don’t bother ejecting the tape. You run all the way to the bus stop, Steve’s letter in hand. 
You have to see him. No other thoughts register except that one. You have to know if Steve wrote these words because he can’t say them or because you won’t listen.
It isn’t too late when you get to Loch Nora. The neighborhood is dead, which is weird. Steve’s house looks frozen in time: his parents’ car isn’t in the driveway. You wonder if they’ve ever come back since you’ve been gone. You wouldn't be surprised if the answer is no.
There’s a tarp over the pool. The gate is locked with a chain. You can’t sneak in through the fence like you used to. Not that you would. You don’t think strangers can sneak through pool gates.
You knock on the door three times. And wait.
Steve’s car is in the driveway, a duller burgundy than when he first got it. There are a few scratches in the paint. No longer a prized possession. Maybe well-loved instead.
The door swings open. 
Steve says your name like a prayer. You swallow and steel your spine. 
“I got your letter,” you say.
“Oh.” He rubs the back of his neck. His hair is damp like he’s just showered. It curls around his ears. Waves of want hit you. 
“I don’t want to be friends,” you continue before he can speak. “I don’t—I can’t do that again.”
Steve’s mouth draws into the saddest frown you’ve ever seen.
“Okay,” he says softly. “Thank you for telling me.”
“No.” You shake your head. “No, that’s not—I don’t mean it like that.”
His brows knit. “What?”
“I…” You pull out the letter and wave it. “Did you mean it? Do you love me?”
“Yes,” Steve whispers. It’s like a shout in the quiet street. “I meant it.”
“Like a friend?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“Will you love me like a friend forever?” you ask. 
“Always.” 
You squeeze your eyes shut.
“I love you as something more,” you blurt, watery. “I have for a long time.”
You hear the door shut. This is it: your heart on the line, all for nothing—
“Then I’ll love you as something more back,” Steve says. “I’ll love you any way you want me to.”
And he holds you the way you’d held him so many times. You inhale and wrap your arms around his neck. You’ve got an iron grip around the letter. Tears slip down your cheeks.
“I missed you,” you confess.
Steve nods against your shoulder.
“Yeah,” he says, and it sounds a little wet. “I missed you too.”
“You were wrong,” you say into his neck.
“Hmm?”
You pull back to look at Steve.
“Incredible things do happen in Hawkins.”
“Oh, yeah?” Steve smiles, cheeks blotchy. “Like what?”
“We found each other again.”
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trippinsorrows · 7 months ago
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with me + part one
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authors note: well, i got some type of writers block working on two other RR wip's so opened a new google doc and ended up with this. prob gonna be 3 parts, maybe 4. there's an almost five year time jump after this one, can you guess why? also, joe's wife is an oc, not galina.
first time posting my roman writings on here and trying not to freak out tbh
warnings: angst, infidelity, language, suggestive content
song inspo: with me by destiny's child
word count: 4,000
You know that assignment everyone at some point in their education where they research what they want to be when they grow up and share it with the whole class for a grade? Yeah, that big mammoth of a question that somehow you’re supposed to have confidently answered before even reaching double digits.
That was always super easy for you.
From as far back as you can remember, you wanted to be a teacher. It took until you were in middle school, almost high school for you to settle on an elementary school teacher, college for a specific grade. But, the teaching profession always called to you.
You chalk it up to your grandmother, undoubtedly one of your favorite people in this entire world. She was also an elementary school teacher who taught until she was expectedly called home when you were 14. Some part of you wonders if you’ve never even allowed yourself to entertain any other professions because of her loss. She was your best friend, and following in her footsteps was wanted but also felt somewhat necessary. Like you had to in order to honor her and her legacy.
A couple years into your career, you still think about that, how you’ve known from such a young age what you wanted to do with your life. Well, one part. 
In other areas, maybe the most important areas, you were lost as all of the outdoors. Mostly in one area, if you’re being honest, and truthfully, it’s not even what you want in as much as it is how you get there. The path is relatively simple: find a man, fall in love, get married, have babies, live happily ever after.
It’s such a stereotypical trajectory, but one you’ve also envisioned for yourself since your late teens. You’d gotten partying all out of your system during the early college years, somewhat in high school as well. Now in your mid 20s, soon to be late 20s, all you want to do is prepare to eventually settle down. Sooner rather than later.
And the issue isn’t even having no prospects. You have a prospect, he’s just unavailable. 
Because he’s already fucking married.
But can you even call him a prospect when that implies there’s some chance? Because there’s zero chance. You know this. You know this very well, too well. So why you still allow him into your bed and inside of you is beyond you. Yes, the sex is out of this world, but you desire more than that. Maybe not at first, but almost three years deep into this arrangement, most definitely.
You still think back to your first meeting.
Your best friend won a contest that not only granted her two front row tickets to a Smackdown show but backstage passes as well. You met so many wrestlers that night, some you grew up watching on TV as the little tomboy that you were as a kid. But, it was one wrestler in particular: tall, muscular, hair more beautiful and silky than any silk press your beautician mother could ever style, that changed your life. Whether for better or worse remains to be seen. 
He was attractive, extremely, possibly one of the most beautiful men you’d ever met. But, the attraction was short-lived when you spotted the wedding band on his left hand. You’d be lying if you tried to say that was when the attraction sizzled out. It diminished, but it was still there. Still, you didn’t think much of it, that was until you received a call from a number on your phone that you didn't recognize. 
Why you even accepted the call is still a mystery. You never answered random calls, yet that one was an exception, an exception that resulted in you having an unexpected phone conversation with Roman fucking Reigns. He explained that he got your number from your friend who’d exchanged contact information with a wrestler she met that night as well. They were messing around too, that much you knew. And good for her. He, unlike Roman, was not married and therefore free to fuck around.
The conversation lasted much longer than it needed to, especially given the flirtatious nature it quickly took on. It was wrong, you knew this well, very well. He took vows, but you were also aware of those vows. And heat no point pressured you into anything, you could have cut it off. Flirtatious he was, but forceful he was not.
The conversations increased in frequency and length over a matter of weeks that turned into months, and before you knew it, your day started and ended with either a text or phone call from the wrestler. 
A small part of you knew that it would eventually escalate into more, a man like him seemed like he needed more. But, you stupidly tried to tell yourself that when that time came, you would remain strong and draw the line in the sand with just communication. Even if it was just as wrong as anything else.
It was a silly thought. 
Your resolve was weak.
You absolutely did not need to accept his invitation to fly you out to one of his shows, and you damn sure didn’t need to allow him to take you back to his hotel where your legs ended up wrapped around his waist as he pounded into you—among other things—until the early hours of the morning.
The days after that were rough. You felt absolutely disgusted with yourself. It was one thing to flirt with a married man, but it was an entirely different thing to fuck a married man. He wasn’t yours. He belonged to someone else. He had a life with some other woman. You had no right to insert yourself into that union, so you decided to sever contact with him, deleting his number from your phone and shoving the experience in the ‘biggest regret of your life’ box with no intention of reopening it.
Unfortunately for you, Roman, Joe, as he asked you to call him, was a persistent bastard.
You ignored his texts, so he called. You ignored his calls, so he texted. You ignored both, and this motherfucker showed up at your goddamn door. There were multiple times you could have and should have ended things, that being another perfect opportunity. If you told him to leave that night, not allowed him into your apartment, he would have listened. He was stubborn and resolute but also respectful. If you told him to leave, really told him, he would have done so.
But, you didn’t. You allowed him into your place and similar to the last time you were in his presence, ended up spread out on your bed with him balls deep inside you until you couldn’t feel your lower half. 
Now, fast forward three years later, not much has changed. You two don’t communicate quite as much in the day, and his visits are more spread out given the company’s current efforts at pushing him as the new face of the company. But, that doesn’t stop his visits to come see you and flights he puts you on to come see him, both of which always end with him leaving your legs jelly and throat raw.
All the while his wife sits at home unaware of her husband’s consistent residence between your legs.
The thought alone makes you sick, revolted at yourself, at how you’ve allowed yourself to reach this point in life. Closer to 30 than 20 and going on 3 years of being a mistress to a married man, a man who can never give you the future you want yet refuse to let go. 
Not that you’d ever allow yourself to really acknowledge why. 
That’s….that’s just too much.
________
Pillow talk was just something that naturally happened between the two of you. It made sense given that your relationship started out with just talking. He seemed interested in knowing more about you, about your likes and dislikes. He shared his as well. You weren’t beyond admitting that Joe was insanely easy to talk to, the flow of conversation always natural, never forced. There never seemed to be a dry spot between you two. 
And whether it was an innate ability to pick up on the emotions of others or just his, you could always tell when something was bothering him, could see when he came to you with a burden he didn’t want to discuss.
Not that that stopped you from asking. If he declined to talk about it, you respected it, didn’t push. But, more often than not, he would end up sharing things with you, mostly concerns regarding his career.
It seemed he visioned one thing for himself, while Vince McMahon saw another. He felt frustrated at times, especially when the fanbase started pushing back more. He never admitted as such, but you could see it hurt his feelings. How could it not? Kayfabe or not, Joe was still a real person with real feelings, regardless of the role he played.
And at some point, his visits to see you stopped always involving sex. That happened majority of the time, but there were occasions when he just seemed like he needed someone to be around, a distraction, someone to talk to. 
Someone like you.
“Come on.” You jumped up off the couch and offered your hand that he looked at with disinterest. “Don’t make me drag your big ass. It’ll probably break my back.” He lifts his brow, and you roll your eyes. “Joe, come onnnn.”
“Where are we going?” He finally asks, all the while sighing heavily and standing up. Though unnecessary at this point, he still takes your hand. You try not to think too much of the gentle squeeze he gives.
“To my kitchen.” 
Glancing over, he gestures with his thumb. “The place that’s like 3 feet away.”
You suck your teeth and shove against him. “Don’t be an ass. We’re gonna bake cookies.”
“Bake?”
“That’s what I said.” Though clearly skeptical, he follows you into the kitchen and watches as you start gathering supplies. “I spent a lot of summers with my grandma, and whenever either of us were having a bad day, she’d take us into the kitchen and we’d bake chocolate chip cookies. She’d always say there’s nothing a good chocolate morsel can’t cure.” 
Reflecting on those memories, so fond and cherished, brings a despondent smile to your face.
His eyes fall on you, sensing the sudden sadness. “You miss her.”
“Every day….” Shaking your head, you make a conscious effort to not make this about you and your grief. “Now, we need music.” You settle on some random “cookout” playlist that aids in setting the playful mood. To your surprise, yet not surprise, Joe keeps up without struggle. He's a fast learner, easily following along to your detailed instructions and explanations. Things get messy at times, as one does when baking, but it only causes the two of you to share laughter. Especially when you ‘accidentally’ get flour on each other. For you, it was an accident. His was definitely intentional. 
Still, between the laughter, light conversation, and New Edition serving as backdrop, it’s a sweet moment. 
“And now we wait,” you announce, plopping down on the sofa. “Wrestler by day, baker by night. Who’d a thunk it?”
He chuckles. “I never knew you could cook.”
At that, you nearly choke on the water bottle you’d grabbed off the coffee table. “Me? Cook? No. Not at all. There’s a reason every thanksgiving, my family only asks me to bring the drinks. My mom is the cook. Grandma was the baker. I can make cookies and a few select items. That’s it.”
You can still hear your grandma’s voice in the back of your head, chiding you for never allowing your mom to teach you how to cook. It just never garnered your interest, even when they swore up and down you’d never find a husband without knowing how.
Maybe they were right.
He joins you in the living room, settling on the other end of the sofa. “Maybe I could teach you then.”
His words—and offer—suprise you. “You can cook?”
“Don’t look so surprised.” He rolls his blue eyes. Some days you love the contacts, others you hate them. Today is a love day. They make his beauty even more exquisite. “Because of the big age difference between me and my siblings, it was just me and my mom a lot of times. They were either out and about or had either moved out. She’d ask me to help her out in the kitchen, and I picked up on a couple things.”
“You’re a fast learner.” That much is very obvious, in several areas of his life. “Was it ever hard? Like, not really having them around?”
He seems to think about her question before answering. “Yes and no. The twins moved to Florida when I was like three, and we became close instantly. It was like suddenly having two new brothers. Obviously, they didn’t live with us, so they weren’t always around, and those times were hard, I guess. But the older we got, the more we did together.”
The Usos. Also wrestlers trying to make names for themselves. He really does hail from a legendary dynasty. “I get that. It was just me and my mom, and she worked a lot to support us, so that’s why I spent so much time with my grandma. And I loved it, but sometimes it got lonely not really having siblings.” You look over at him, studying this massive specimen of a man who seems so unsure of himself right now, unsure of his future. He’d hinted at such during their prep, but you bookmarked the comment to revisit. “It’s all gonna work out, you know.”
His gaze is on you, partially disinterested, mostly in disagreement. Joe knows what you're referring to. He chuckles, darkly, “you sound sure.”
“I am,” you counter calmly. Moving to sit on your knees, you continue, “no matter what it takes, you make them respect you. You can do it, and when you finally find your footing, you’ll be one of the best to ever do it. Mark my words.” 
You’ve never been one to build up false hopes in anyone, far too familiar with the sting of disappointment. So every word leaving your mouth drips with sincerity. Joe is so much more than a “pretty face” or someone who got lucky by being born into a wrestling dynasty with a golden spoon in his mouth. He’s worked his ass off, you see how he works his ass off, so the last thing you’d want to witness is him become his own worst enemy by getting too into his head.
“You’ll see. They boo now, but pretty soon they’ll be cheering.” Moving to your knees, you lift your arms in a theatrical display. “Roman, Roman, Roman.” You yelp when his strong arms pull you into his lap, legs spread on either side of his thick thighs. “Would you let me hype you up? Like, damn.”
His smile, so beautiful and genuine, warms your soul. His spirits are lifted, and that’s all that matters. Joe’s hands are on your hips, palms massaging you through your shorts. You move your arms around his neck, resting on his strong shoulders “Thank you.”
It’s at this moment, you foolishly allow yourself to wonder. Wonder what it would be like for this to be the norm, for him to always return to your place when he has time off or in between shows. Wonder what it would be like to consistently be this safe space for him, to be in his corner and not just in the shadows, but in the light. To be supporting him ringside. To be his.
And for a second, you pretend. You pretend that you are his, and he’s yours. That this is your man, and you’re his girl. Just the two of you. Nobody else.
But the comedown from that is devastating, like a boulder sitting on your chest, a butcher knife to your heart. Because he isn’t yours. He never was, and he never will be. 
Mood sullen, you lower your arms to separate yourself. “I should…” You clear your throat, climbing off of him. The air is suddenly too stuffy, the room too small. You need space. “I should go check on the cookies.” 
Joe’s not stupid, far from it. You know that he has to pick up on your 180 in mood, yet he doesn’t pursue you, doesn’t ask questions, and you’re thankful for that. You need to not be around him right now, not so close, not so connected, not so in love.
You need to let him go. ________
“I can’t do this anymore.” 
Joe’s in the midst of sliding his shirt over his head, sitting on the edge of the bed when your voice, low and quiet, stops him mid movement. “What?”
“I said.” You blow out a big breath, unsure why your chest suddenly feels so heavy. “I can’t do this anymore.”
At that, he angles his body so that he can look at you, assess your face. He’s a big eye contact person. “What are you talking about?”
Irritation piques. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Joe.” Gesturing between the two of you, you kick the blankets off and quickly reach for your t-shirt that got discarded last night. Being naked in front of him suddenly feels uncomfortable. “This. It’s done.”
He pauses for a second and then shakes his head, resuming his dressing. “Okay.”
His tone is dismissive, like he doesn’t believe you. Like he thinks you’re playing around. Of course he would be in one of those moods, where he’s more irritable, less receptive and fucking stubborn. “I’m serious.”
“I’m not doing this shit with you right now.” Joe gets up and continues dressing himself, prompting you to climb out of bed and move in front of him. 
He can’t avoid his way out of this. You won’t allow it. It’s time to finally rip the bandaid off. 
You’ve sat on this for the last two weeks, since he last left your apartment and you realized you’d stupidly allowed yourself to fall for this man. Fall for a man who walks around with a wedding ring on his left hand, who’s always had that wedding ring from the moment you met him. You’re not upset with him, not as much as you’re upset with yourself.
You grew up the product of an affair, felt the stinging pain of being rejected by a parent whose selfishness resulted in the creation of life, a life he wanted no part of. Seen how your mom literally begged your piece of shit father to be in your life, to play some role. Heard how he cruelly rejected her, rejected you, calling you your mother’s bastard. A mistake.
It devastated you so deeply that you still can’t really talk about it without getting emotional. 
And yet, you idiotically found yourself playing the same role you used to judge your mother for: the other woman. 
It’s a role you stepped in, and one you must now step out of.
“There’s nothing to do.” You run your hands over your face and shake your head. Choosing to have this conversation at almost 4 o’clock in the morning probably wasn’t the best move, but you also know that if you give yourself more time, you’ll find a reason not to do it. And you need to do this. “You have a wife, Joe. A whole ass woman who loves you and would probably let you fuck her just as much as you like to fuck me. Go be with her, and if not her, find someone else, cause I won’t be that for you. Not anymore.” 
You’re not exactly sure what part of what you just said registered with him, but it’s obvious something did by the change of tone he takes. “Where is this coming from?”
“It’s coming from where it should have come a long time ago,” you answer, crossing your arms over your body. “This was never right, and I refuse to partake in it anymore. I won’t be your whore anymore.”
You didn’t expect hurt to flash in his beautiful eyes nor for him to move closer to you, that hurt intensifying when you back away. He can’t touch you. You can’t allow that, because all it takes is only touch, one longing gaze, and you’ll be putty in his hands. This has to end. “Is that really what you think you are to me?”
“I don’t know what I am to you, Joe,” you answer, honestly. It’s something you’ve battled back and forth with for nearly three years. Just what is it about you that keeps him coming back, keeps him in your bedroom, inside of you. At face value, it’s the sexual compatibility between you. Below the surface level though, there’s maybe more. You’ve never allowed yourself to venture there, and you’re certainly not about to right now. You know how you feel about him, but you refuse to really ask yourself how he feels about you. “And truthfully, it doesn’t matter, cause it doesn’t change anything.”
“So, that’s just it?” His voice is wounded, handsome face painted into a mixture of scowl and a frown. “Almost three years, and you want to throw it all away, for what?”
“For what…..Joe, you are married. You have a whole wife at home. Whatever issues you have that cause you to step out, work that shit out. Learn how to be with her. Cause I’m not doing it any more. I—I can’t.” Emotion imbues your voice toward the end, and you hate that shit. You don’t want him to see, to know, how much this has been eating you up as of lately. “I’m gonna be 30 in a few years. I want to be married. I want to have a family. I deserve that, and I’ll never have it as long as I’m messing with you, so I’ve gotta let you go.” You swallow the deep lump in the back of your throat. “And you’ve gotta let me go.” 
This time, this time you can see the part that wounds him, that digs into his chest. You’ve gotta let me go. 
Joe is fast, fast enough to move directly in front of you, large hands holding your face. He says your name, desperate almost. “Tell me what to do, tell me what you want, and I’ll do it. Just….” He stops, and you close your eyes, refusing to see if it’s his own emotions coming up. You can barely handle your own cascade of feelings right now and refuse to take on his. “I can’t lose you.”
What you want…..
What you want is for him to never leave. What you want is for him to stay with you, to be with you. What you want is for him to have never met Jadah, never married her, never committed his life to her. 
What you want is for him to be yours and only yours, but what you want….is also what you can never have. 
“I—I want you to leave, Joe.” The words burn your lips, scorch your throat, ache your soul. “And this time….don’t come back.”
You can’t bring yourself to open your eyes, to see the result of your heartbreaking, even if honest request. It’s because you know seeing him hurt will only cause your resolve to crumble, and you can’t have that. You have to be strong, have to be the woman your mother couldn't.
So, you remain there, remain silent as he steps away from you, his touch vanishing. There’s such an emptiness in his wake.
It’s only when you hear the front door of your apartment shut that you finally feel it, the caving of your stomach, the heavy lump move from the back of your throat, the release of the loud sob you didn’t realize you’d been keeping at bay. 
It’s when you finally allow yourself to feel all of the emotions of a woman who just told the only man she’s ever loved to leave. 
If only you knew his departure was just the beginning of the rest of your life.
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kbandtrash · 10 months ago
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Less Than Three (Hongjoong x Reader)
~Rachel~
@sorryimananti-romantic hahaha remember how I said I was the slowest writer ever? Apparently that's not true because it only took me a month and a half to write this. I need help
Content: fluff, a whole lot of delusional one-sided pining (the cute kind though) (from him), silly middle school antics from both teachers and students, betting, friends to lovers
Summary: Kim Hongjoong teaches middle school math and finds himself absolutely smitten with you, the math department's newest hire. You're the last person to find out.
Note: This is set in an American-style middle school because that's where my teaching experiences have been and I figured my best work would come out of the system I'm most familiar with
Word Count: 11.5k
Why did Hongjoong choose middle school?
He asks himself this question every day as well
If he wanted to be a math teacher, high school was clearly a better option
But no he had started out in a middle school, promising to take a high school position as soon as one opened up
And now he was actively avoiding high school principals that wanted to recruit him
Is it because he found out the math is easier to explain and the kids really aren’t that bad?
Yeah sure
But this year he had another reason to stay
See his math department had a position open up this summer and as he got to take part in interviews to select a new hire
He fell in love
Now that was not the whole reason he advocated to hire you
In fact your credentials as a math teacher
The places you had taught before
Your praxis exam scores
Your recommendation letters
The professional development programs you were a part of
Test scores from your previous classes
The way you understood math
And especially the way you believed that every student had the potential to pass your class
All of these made you the obvious choice and everyone else agreed
But he was struck several times with Cupid’s arrows throughout the interview and that absolutely did not hurt his opinion of you as a potential colleague
On this particular morning his excuse to talk to you before classes started for the day was a test for your 7th graders
Which they would be taking next Friday
Your feedback always ended up being valuable anyway so there was no need for this to be an “excuse” but it got to be one anyway
You were typing something up when he knocked on the open door to your classroom to announce his presence
You finished typing your sentence before you looked up, and when you saw Hongjoong leaning against the door frame with some papers in his hand, you greeted him with a smile and a wave
He wondered if it would look unprofessional if he grew out his hair to cover his ears
You looked gorgeous today (every day) and he knew there was no stopping his ears from turning bright red
“I have the unit tests for 7th,” he said, stealing a chair from a desk to sit backwards on while he talked to you
“Oh good!” you replied. “I’ll take a look at those and get them back to you by lunch”
Buy lunch he thought
That sounded like an excellent idea
He should buy you lunch
He didn’t say that though
“Works for me. How was your weekend?”
And he stalled and stalled and stalled until the first bell rang and he had to get out to hall duty
At lunch he walked in again while you were putting in assignment scores and munching on some pretzel sticks
“I made a key for that new assignment we decided to add for 8th grade. Can you check answers if you get the time?”
His heart did a little flip as you covered your mouth with your hand while you finished chewing
How could you be so graceful and polite?
And your hands were so pretty wow
“Yes just as soon as I finish putting these in. And—” you turned your chair around and grabbed something from behind you— “here are the 7th tests from this morning. I added a couple notes on the integer operations review questions, but other than that, I think they’re great”
He unfortunately did need to go and eat his own lunch and fulfill other teacherly lunchtime duties so he couldn’t stall as much as this morning
But he read your notes on the way back to his classroom
And boy he could have lived in your handwriting
The pen that you used was the perfect instrument to capture every letter, every dot, every loop in a way that encapsulated your personality
And as soon as he caught himself thinking that he knew he needed to ask the home ec teacher to smack him over the head with a frying pan because wowie
He would need professional help in order to date you like a normal person at this point
Anyway he was practically skipping back after lunch because he came up with another question to ask you
There were students there so instead of using your first name he caught your attention by calling you Miss (L/N)
Which for some reason gives him more butterflies than calling you normally
This time luckily instead of giving you a new task it was a task he could do for you
“How many copies of the activity page should I put you down for?”
“Ooh good question”
You put your finger over your lips as you counted on your other hand and he had to actively look away and think about other things
There were students present after all
“Which classes are you doing it with?” you ended up asking
He used the opportunity to set a hand down on your desk and lean forward in a cool pose
“I’m making the eighth graders do it but it’s extra credit for the seventh”
“That sounds like a good plan to me. So sixty for the eighth graders and then how many do you think I would need if it’s optional?”
Oh boy he loved it when you asked for advice
It gave him the chance to look cool and smart and he always got to play it off as the humble senior teacher
“I do half just to be safe. Plus then you have extra if you want to do it again later in the year or even next year”
And then your face did that thing it did when you liked a suggestion he gave
Your face lit up with your eyebrows raised and your mouth in a little “ooh”
There were students around there were students around
“Okay then sixty for the eighth graders and forty-five for seventh. A hundred and five?”
He scribbled the number down on the copy request form
“Excellent. I’ll run this down then”
He gave you a smile and a wave as he went to attend to his own class
Which you returned
And he was sure his heart would never physically recover from the stress it was under this year
You didn’t need to know that you were the only other teacher he was sharing this particular activity page with
He would give it to the other teachers if they asked him for it but he wasn’t going to go out of his way for this one because it was kind of silly and short
But he would do anything to make your first year at a new school just a little bit easier
Back in his classroom he tried to get class started when one of his eighth graders had the audacity to raise his hand and say the following:
“You just walked back from Miss (L/N)’s class huh?”
Mr. Kim squinted suspiciously at the student
“Yeah…why”
“You’re way nicer when you go to her class before our class starts”
Before he had any time to figure out what that meant, the class exploded in giggles and shouts of agreement
“Yeah you smile a lot more this year than you did last year” a girl who had had his class the previous year as well agreed
And then from the back corner
One of the notorious trouble makers stood up
Pointed his finger up at poor Mr. Kim, who was now considering taking a high school position again
And shouted “Mr. Kim has a crush on Miss (L/N)!!!”
There was no longer any hope for this class
Exponent rules? Down the drain
Hongjoong was now a laughingstock
Irredeemable in front of a bunch of 13-14 year olds
So he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, lips pursed, and his eyes dangerously blank
It wasn’t long before kids started shushing each other
Even once they were quiet, he held their attention for a second longer
“If you have two to the fourth times two to the third, what’s the product?” he asked clearly, writing the problem on the whiteboard in new black marker
Not addressing the issue would not stem the tide of curious teenagers for long but it would have to be a band-aid solution until he figured out how to do this properly
Because he couldn’t allow rumors to spread that he liked you because firstly unprofessional and secondly what if you heard them and thought he was weird
But he couldn’t lie and allow rumors to spread that he definitely didn’t have a crush on you because firstly. unprofessional kids don’t need to know about that stuff
Like they think they’re all mature and old enough to date when they can’t even drive yet like can you imagine as a teenager asking your mom to drive you to your date with your girlfriend. Embarrassing
BUT SECONDLY
What if you heard the rumors and maybe you did like him back and it crushed your heart to hear that he didn’t like you
While the kids were working on their assignment and he was working on his computer he decided the best way to explain this to them
If they ever brought it up again
Was that they’re always in a better mood when they get to talk to their friends, right?
You’re a good friend and it’s fun working with you
The other math teachers are fun too but you’re close to his age so it makes sense that you would be closer
Yep
Good explanation Mr. Kim
Literally just one day later the kids bring it up again and they do not buy his explanation
They don’t even pretend to because their brains are not developed enough to have that kind of social tact
And the rumor doesn’t exactly spread like wildfire around the school but everyone knows about it you know what I mean
Except you actually
You’re usually very aware of everything going on in your classroom but somehow this particular subject escaped your attention
You learned early on that for some reason kids don’t have shame anymore in spilling their guts to the classroom about what they’re gossiping about
So the usual “if you can’t wait to tell your friend later then tell the whole class now” classroom management tactic is now useless
So you didn’t do that instead you just asked them which problem they’re helping their friend with and if they’re not helping their friend with math then they should get back on task
You didn’t think that any middle school level gossip could actually be that interesting anyway so yeah you had no idea that kids were shipping the teachers
And you didn’t want to know
So you stayed blissfully ignorant
While Hongjoong was lowkey agonizing over it
Now you and Hongjoong tend to eat lunch in your own classrooms rather than the staff lounge
Because why use up any more social energy than necessary right
But there is a vending machine in the staff room and Hongjoong was craving something sweet one day
And when he walked in the other teachers in there suddenly went awkwardly silent
And he knew
They were talking about him
Yeah he should take a high school position next year
Two of the younger teachers, Jung Wooyoung from the history department and Choi San from the phys ed department, broke the silence giggling to each other
“Sorry Hongjoong” San apologized “the kids are just hilarious these days. They’re so excited about you and (Y/N) it’s adorable”
Hongjoong gave them a look
“Adorable?”
“Well firstly you” Wooyoung pointed out “I never thought I’d see you fall head over heels but I totally get it. She’s super cool”
“And secondly the kids” San continued “any time you guys are talking in the hall I have all of the girls talking about it during warm ups. The boys all think of you as their role model when it comes to liking a girl”
“That reminds me!” Wooyoung interrupted “I actually did have a boy confess to a girl in my class the other day and you wanna know what he told her??”
Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed in a glare, absolutely sure that his reputation was never going to recover
“He said ‘I like you more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”
The teachers tried to tone down their laughter out of respect
Hongjoong wanted to leave immediately but this stupid vending machine was having issues
“And then you know what she said back?”
Wooyoung was having trouble holding himself together
His eyes were shining a little with tears of laughter
“She said ‘That’s impossible. No one can like anyone more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”
The other teachers could not hold it back anymore
The vending machine finally gave Hongjoong his candy bar
(Plus the extra one he bought for you)
So he made his way swiftly back towards the door
“Oh no no wait” Wooyoung called after him
“Tests to grade” Hongjoong lied simply
“No come on you have to hear this”
Hongjoong stopped at the door, fighting the urge to classroom manage his coworkers
He looked back both unimpressed and expectant at the same time
“Okay everyone raise your hands if you betted on before Christmas break” Wooyoung called out
Some of the teachers looked at him like he had just asked out a widow at her husband’s funeral
But they raised their hands sheepishly anyway
“Great yes and after Christmas break?”
The other half raised their hands, most of them looking like they wished that had eaten lunch in their own classrooms
“These are bets on when you’re going to ask her out” Wooyoung explained cheerfully
“Wasn’t someone also trying to get bets going on whether you would confess first or she would notice first?” San asked
“That was also me” Wooyoung said with a grin
The lounge door opened again and in walked the principal and one of the vice principals
Hongjoong thought this was finally the end to this stupid conversation
But no
“Oh Hongjoong!” the principal greeted him with a pat on the arm “I’ve got $50 on you dating before Christmas. Don’t let me down”
Waiting until the end of the school year to take a new position would simply not be soon enough
Hongjoong needed to find a new job or retire within the month
But then on the way back to his classroom he remembered he had an extra candy bar for you
So he made a detour
But what greeted him was a closed door with the window on the door covered
He hadn’t ever seen your door shut like this before so he wasn’t sure what it meant exactly
Maybe you went out to lunch today?
Then he could just nab one of your sticky notes and leave the candy bar on your desk with a positive message
He would rather give it to you himself, but the idea of you finding the candy bar on your desk later made his chest feel all warm and cozy so it was fine
Your door was unlocked, so he pulled it open just enough so he could see inside
And you were in there actually
Slumped in your desk chair with your head in your hands
Oh
Oh no
Hongjoong had been there before
Every teacher had been there before
The work of a teacher isn’t as easy as most people would like to believe
Especially for middle school, and even more so for math, it takes someone with unending patience and courage to help kids learn every day
And some days that patience and courage runs a little thinner than other days
Even experienced teachers wonder from time to time if it’s worth the soul that they give to their classes
The classes that seem sometimes not to notice one way or the other if you’re teaching or not
You hadn’t noticed that you weren’t quite alone anymore, so that left Hongjoong with a choice to make
Did he let you have this moment to yourself?
Or did he try to help you through it?
He closed the door as softly as he could
And then he gave a little knock to give you some privacy and some time to gather yourself
Then he opened the door and stepped halfway through
“The vending machine spat out two candy bars instead of one” he lied with a grin, holding up the extra candy bar and wiggling it between his fingers
You had sat up and were resting your chin on your hand curiously
But there was definitely a downtrodden aura about you that he couldn’t miss
“That’s pretty lucky,” you replied
He took that as permission to enter and on his way to your desk he snagged his usual chair to sit backwards on
“How’s today going so far?” he asked as if he knew nothing, setting the candy bar down on top of your closed computer
“Oh, you know,” you sighed
He chuckled, opening his candy bar, not making eye contact with you to relieve some pressure for you to keep up an act
“That good, huh?”
You laughed in return
“Just got my butt kicked by a bunch of seventh graders, so yeah, it’s kind of whatever right now”
Ah the teacher equivalent of “I want to quit my job and hide in my bed for the rest of my life”
“Oh, yep, I’ve been there more than once” he said with a nod “and sometimes there’s really nothing you could have done better, you know? Kids are just like that sometimes. It makes me glad I’m not an elementary school teacher”
“Oh my word yes” you agreed, finally picking up the candy bar “at least I can kick these gremlins out after 45 minutes and I don’t have to see them again until the next day. I can’t imagine being with the same class all day”
Did Hongjoong end up squandering his entire eating time just to talk with you and make sure you felt better?
Yes
He would have to sneak bites of his sandwich in between activities during his afternoon classes
But like it wasn’t the first time he’d had to do that and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last
At least he had a good reason today instead of something stupid like he was lost in the test grading sauce and forgot to eat
He proceeded to get his butt kicked by his afternoon classes because he couldn’t wipe his lovefool smile off his face
But it was okay because once again it wasn’t the first time and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last
Not long after came the hallowed and hated teacher inservice day
Professional development day
Both a huge waste of time and a relaxing little work day
The administrators usually planned a series of workshops for the morning that all looked. well. kind of stupid but it was all planned with good intention
Then it was lunch time
And then after that you had until the end of contract hours to do whatever pretty much
The math department liked to go to lunch together and then have a really productive planning meeting until people got bored and then it was individual prep time pretty much
Mostly it was just kinda nice to be at school without kids there
This year was no exception to all of this
But Mr. Principal had $50 on the line and decided to play matchmaker about it
For each of the workshops the teachers were split into groups
And you and Hongjoong had been placed together every single time
Somehow you genuinely thought it was just good luck
Hongjoong was hyperaware of every other teacher looking and pointing and giggling and you were so peacefully oblivious to it
The first workshop was about medical emergency training, specifically training teachers in case of allergy or diabetic emergencies
As soon as the nurse finished with the epipen instructions you leaned over to Hongjoong and whispered “like this?” 
And stabbed him with the fake epipen right in the thigh
Hongjoong swore he was going to die right then and there because why was that so attractive???
“Four…five…six…seven…eight…” you counted out, holding the epipen in place for the full ten seconds
And like a good patient he sat like a statue because his circuits were absolutely fried
You glanced up at his face and your expression immediately dropped
You checked the epipen all over to make sure it was just a trainer
(It was)
“Hongjoong are you okay?? Your face is all red did I do something wrong?” you worried
He unfroze and tried to undo the damage of his Little Moment but the nurse was already over at the table taking a closer look at him after dismissing the rest of the teachers to practice
She looked at you and then at Hongjoong and then at you again and back at Hongjoong and a funny look of understanding came over her face
“Are you Mr. Kim the math teacher” she asked
He nodded awkwardly
“And are you Miss (L/N) the math teacher” she asked
“Yes?” you answered
She patted Hongjoong on the shoulder
“He’ll be fine in a minute or so” she reassured you, glancing up and away somewhere else
You both followed her gaze over to the principal, who gave her a bright smile and a thumbs up
Which looked innocuous enough to the untrained eye
But to Hongjoong this was just another in a long list of embarrassments
The principal had told the guest workshop speakers about him
And he had been spotted that easily
After that was administration-provided snack time
Hongjoong offered to grab sodas if you would grab chips and stuff
And at the soda table he was greeted by Wooyoung and San, who called him affectionately Mr. Traffic Light
Hongjoong resisted the urge to react publicly
Even though there were no children around he refused to allow himself to be caught cursing them out
But he brainstormed violently about the ways he could get back at them without getting caught
Truly his middle school teacher powers of ignoring were activated because those two were practically dancing around him trading one-liner after one-liner and Hongjoong paid them no mind
Until he realized they were following him back to the table where he was sitting with you
He did not need them teasing him around you so he tried to shoo them off
But Wooyoung gleefully turned his attention up to the projector screen where the groupings for the next workshop were displayed
Truly your presence was the only saving grace this day had to offer
They were in this group with you two
The computer teacher/school tech support guy was leading this workshop and he was showcasing how one might use ai in their classroom
And all four of you were totally zoned out because firstly ai in a math classroom?? For what
Chat bots are notoriously bad at math
Ai in San’s gymnasium? Once again no practical application
And Wooyoung honestly just wasn’t that interested because none of you were listening so he didn’t feel like he had to either
So he decided flirting with you was more fun
Just to make Hongjoong mad
But for all of his whispered pick up lines and compliments you had approximately the same response as to this ai workshop:
Playing gamepigeon with Hongjoong under the table
(Which Hongjoong had initiated by the way)
(And you had perpetuated after destroying him at the mini golf game)
Aka you ignored Wooyoung pretty well
So Hongjoong got to glare over at him with the peace of mind that your attention was fully his right then
San tapped your shoulder and asked for your number
Which you gave him a little too easily for Hongjoong’s continued peace of mind
But then San just made a group chat for the four of you to play uno together for the remainder of the workshop
So Hongjoong decided that actually this setup wasn’t so bad
The last workshop was unfortunately much more important so the four of you couldn’t continue slacking off
The principal was running this one and it was genuinely for the betterment of the school environment
Plus San and Wooyoung were sent off to other groups
So it was the two of you and a few other senior teachers that were going to have a discussion about one of the behavior initiatives that the school was trying out
You were the only two math teachers in the group, so when the principal passed out data that had been collected about this behavior initiative, the other teachers sort of automatically passed the papers to you
(And the science teachers in the group but that’s irrelevant)
There was only one copy of each dataset, so that meant you got to share
And that meant that you got to scoot your chairs close together to look at the paper at the same time
And even better the text was kind of small so you had to bring the papers close to your faces to read them
So the two of you were shoulder to shoulder
Practically cheek to cheek, your heads almost touching
To read this data and explain it to the less number-savvy teachers
Today was actually pretty fantastic so far, Hongjoong thought
He also wondered if you could physically feel the heat coming off of his face but that was not something he was going to let bother him right then
He was going to live in the moment
And perhaps thank the principal later
After a surprisingly productive and insightful discussion
It was finally ~lunch time~
The math department gathered up in the department head’s classroom to decide which of the nearby restaurants to choose to go to
And no one could agree
Not a single person was feeling like eating the same thing
Except Hongjoong he was agreeing with whatever you said
Not just because he wanted you to have your way but because whatever you said sounded good to him too
Maybe it sounded good because you said it but nonetheless
And then the department head said the following fateful words:
“How about you two just go ahead and we’ll try to decide on something for the rest of us
Hongjoong was suspicious right then and there that this was a setup
The department head probably had money on Before Christmas
But Hongjoong was absolutely not going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers
“I’m cool with that” you answered before Hongjoong could gather his thoughts enough to say anything
Then you turned to him
“I need to go grab my purse from my classroom. Do you need anything from yours?”
“Oh, yeah, just my wallet” he answered totally on autopilot
You stopped by your classroom first and then his since his was closer to the front of the school
He was so excited to finally realize that dream of his from a few weeks back
He was gonna buy you lunch
And not only that it was just the two of you going out to lunch
It didn’t matter that this wasn’t a date
Or that technically you were just gonna buy food and eat it back at school
It was special to him to go somewhere with just you 
That wasn’t school
Seriously he was so happy he couldn’t stop smiling when he told the cashier that your orders were together and he was going to pay
You kinda elbowed him and told him he didn’t have to do that
But he just shrugged and turned his smile on you
“But I wanted to” he replied
You accepted that
“It’s on me next time” you promised
And oh man he could have died right there he felt so complete
Except if he died then there would be no next time
But you were saying next time and it made him think that wow yeah this would happen again
You meant if it ever happened again but he was determined that it was a certain for the future
Because even if it didn’t happen by chance then he would make it happen himself
When you got back to the school the rest of the math department was gone so you started eating without them
And that was a magical moment of peace too
Just the two of you
No one around to tease Hongjoong
He could almost pretend you were just normal friends and he wasn’t head over heels for you
Then the rest of the department came back and they all had food from the same restaurant
So Hongjoong had been right to be suspicious earlier
It was most definitely a setup to get the two of you by yourselves
And he liked it so he wasn’t going to complain about it
Even though it was embarrassing
Well as fun as professional development day ended up being
Parent teacher conferences were not
Hongjoong was looking forward to more Mr. Principal shenanigans
Like maybe when all the teachers were in the gym yours and his table could be next to each other
And he could talk to you when neither of you had any parents
And when the night was wrapping up
And he could walk you out to your car because it was dark
And maybe treat you to dinner because the school-provided food wasn’t usually that great
But no
None of that could happen
Because someone had decided to have teachers stay in their classrooms for conferences this year
The parents would have the wonderful opportunity to get lost in their child’s school trying to find all of their classes
What a joke
They were probably going to get so many complaints they would switch it back to normal next semester
But the one time Hongjoong was looking forward to parent teacher conferences
Of course
Was the one time they had to switch it up
The one silver lining in this was the teachers complaining about it together
Hongjoong’s favorite email he had ever received was now from Wooyoung
Who was replying to the email notifying teachers of the different setup this year but just to Hongjoong
In all lowercase:
“hey loverboy u see this crap
math teacher romancephobic fr smh”
And then with his full professional email signature at the bottom
This precious email was moved to Hongjoong’s funny emails folder, which was usually reserved for unhinged student emails
He did not reply to it
San and the other phys ed teachers were joking about how nice it would be to have the gym to themselves for once but they were in agreement that this probably wouldn’t last
Of course the math department had tests scheduled across all the grades right before conferences
Which of course left everyone grading like crazy
And of course the kids trashed the classrooms the day before
And of course the head janitor ended up getting sick
So it was up to the teachers to make sure their classrooms didn’t look like trash
Even though they had 150+ tests to grade and a pile of late work to grade
And they had 24 hours (7 of which were going to be spent teaching, and hopefully 7-8 would be spent sleeping) to make this all work before parents started showing up at 4 o’clock tomorrow afternoon
What a time this was going to be
So Hongjoong picked up his pile of tests and went to your classroom
Predictably you were grading tests
He stole a student desk and moved it close to your desk
“Which tests are you working on?” he asked
“Eighth” you replied, not looking up from the test you were currently grading
“How does this sound” he began “I’ll take your seventh and you take my eighth so we don’t have to switch answer keys?”
Still barely looking up, you handed him three binder-clipped stacks of paper
“As long as you don’t mind working to music” you replied, your eyebrows raising as a little smile played on your lips
He took your tests and handed you his eighth grade tests
(This worked out nicely as you both had three classes of seventh and two classes of eighth. He was tricking you into letting him take the heavier load ohoho so sneaky)
(He was just lucky you were grading eighth instead of seventh first)
“Don’t mind?” he snickered, uncapping his favorite felt-tip grading pen “I’d prefer it”
And that’s how speed grading turned into karaoke
Grading went almost certainly slower than it would have if you had worked alone but it was way more fun this way
Of course he ended up with sixty some more tests to grade than you
So when you finished you left for a bit and came back with snacks
As well as his pile of late work
He tried to protest but no no
“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are Mr. Kim” you teased him “You thought you could fool a math teacher into thinking we had an equal workload here?”
“That wasn’t the point” he whined, trying to put the cap back on his pen and inking his finger instead
“Then what was the point?”
I love you that’s the point
But what was the point actually
What was a point he could believably tell you without giving himself away
“Just…because” he said convincingly, shrugging his shoulders and settling back into his tests “You look stressed these days. Wanted to do something nice I guess”
You brandished his late work stack again
“So I’m going to do something nice too”
Yeah he probably wouldn’t ever feel this way about anyone ever again
For him at this point it was you or nothing
But the problem was he was willing to let it be nothing for far too long
He would never make a single move unless he knew you were okay with it
Because if he and his stupid heart ruined whatever you had going now then it would really be nothing
He wouldn’t give up the something he still had
He was like a curve approaching an asymptote
He could get infinitely close, but he would never actually touch you
After settling your gradebooks for tomorrow you started by picking up your classroom together
This did go faster with music by the way
And then you picked up his classroom together
And then he realized Hongjoong realized he could have his wish
The one about walking you out to your car and taking you out to dinner
Walking you out was easy but taking you out was another story
He would have to suggest it himself
A little known fact about teachers is that they became teachers because they don’t know how/don’t want to talk with other adults
Kids don’t judge you if something comes out of your mouth a little different than you meant it
Other adults are mean and judge you over silly things
This unfortunately meant that he didn’t know how to ask you to go to dinner with him without making it sound like a date
He was kinda just hoping a lil Kdrama moment would happen and one of your stomachs would rumble really loud so he could laugh it off and say you should go eat together
But you got closer and closer to your car and no tummy rumbling
You got to your car and no tummy rumbling
You opened your door and said goodbye and still no tummy rumbling
“Wait!!!”
He could have slapped his own mouth
You were a little startled but it stopped you from getting in your car
“Hmm?”
“Just uh…it’s kinda late and snacks are great but they’re not that filling…so do you wanna um…” he trailed off and did not finish his thought
“Wanna what?” you asked
Big boy pants Hongjoong come on
“Go grab dinner? Or something?” he finally spat out
He must not have seen your face light up in the dark
“No pressure” he added when you didn’t answer within 0.05 seconds
“No that sounds great! I was thinking of grabbing something on the way home anyway and it would be way more fun to do it with someone else” you accepted
He let you pick the place again and you drove separately because after you would be going in different directions
But it ended up being a nice little fast casual restaurant
And it didn’t feel like a date really but it kinda felt like a date but no it didn’t
It just ended up being a comfortable little outing between friends
Hongjoong knew he couldn’t stop smiling
And he wondered if you already knew how he felt about you
He was sure he didn’t smile like this at anyone else
And you were many things but dense couldn’t possibly be one of them
He knew he was the opposite of subtle
But if you were willing to spend time with him like this then that meant he didn’t make you uncomfortable
Honestly he was so used to the way you made him feel at this point that loving you from afar felt like second nature
Being friends with you was enough if he could keep loving you like this
The waiter came by and asked if it was one check or two
And Hongjoong was fully prepared to pay once again
But you beat him to it
You were already prepared with your card and everything
“I owe you for last time, remember?” you told him with a cheeky grin
He shook his head
“You don’t owe me anything”
“Well then next time it’s on you”
Hongjoong started to smile again
“Next time?”
“Well, yeah” you said with a shrug, now a little bashful “This was fun. We should keep doing it”
“It is fun” he agreed with a laugh “It’s nice to hang out with people outside of school for once”
You laughed at that
“Oh boy tell me about it. Nobody told me that teaching would ruin my social life”
And things just kind of continued like that for a while
Before you had come to the school, Hongjoong had lowkey felt like he was kind of going nowhere with his life
Any time he spent at school outside of his contract hours felt like an infringement on his personal time
Or not even at school, just away from home
He had been hoping that taking a high school position would give him back a little bit of the passion for teaching that he was losing
He hadn’t even been teaching that long it’s just that the profession really is like that
Indescribably rewarding and incredibly draining all at the same time
(Especially these days. Sometimes you really wonder if it’s worth it)
But having something to look forward to every day besides a favorite class ended up being what he needed to love his job wholeheartedly again
It wasn’t just you he had fallen in love with
He had also found new friends in an unlikely place
The math department was like family and he enjoyed their company dearly
But that weirdo phys ed teacher and obnoxious history teacher had turned into excellent friends frighteningly fast
Sometimes they joined you and Hongjoong on your dinner outings
And honestly it was such a blast
An amendment to my previous statement about teachers being teachers because they don’t like talking to other adults:
Other teachers often do not count as other adults
Sometimes they do when you have to have grown up conversations
But gossiping about students does not count as grown up conversation
There were some eighth graders that all four of you had
Hongjoong not currently but he’d had them for previous classes and they were now in your class
Was it a little embarrassing as 20 somethings to have your main source of gossip be preteens?
Yeah but oh man there is nothing like finding out which of your students are lying to their other teachers about the work they need to do
Or what they’re like in other classes
(You and Hongjoong, and sometimes Wooyoung, tended to have very different opinions about some students than San did so it was double fascinating)
Who they’re friends with outside of your class
Or crushes they have on each other
Basically if you spend every day around preteens you gossip like them too
It was now November and starting to get uncomfortably cold outside
So San had offered his home as a little gathering space for you all to order food and hang out
It was almost like a little Friendsgiving
“Any of you have (male student name, obnoxious connotation)?” Wooyoung asked, taking a sip of his soda
You immediately scoffed
“I’m about to write an email home about that kid”
Hongjoong was surprised
Annoying kids existed in every class but you usually had something nice to say about them at first at least before you got into the bad behavior
He hadn’t had this particular student but he was intrigued as to why he annoyed you so much
Wooyoung and San also both looked surprised
“He’s great in gym—like cooperative, doesn’t do stupid stuff too often—” San said “but that doesn’t usually mean anything about how they are in math class”
“No he’s great in history too” Wooyoung added “finishes all his work on time, helps his friends with theirs if he finishes”
Your eye might have twitched a little bit
You let out an unamused laugh and crossed your arms over your chest
Hongjoong was fascinated and quite enamored with this new side of you
“If he has time to help his friends then he should be working on the seven late assignments I’ve been reminding him about. He hasn’t turned in anything for two weeks”
Wooyoung gasped and covered his mouth
“You’re joking”
“I’ve talked to him about it twice and I warned him if I had to remind him a third time then I would email his parents” you said, shaking your head “Like I asked him if he’s understanding the material, if he’s got something going on at home, if he needs some help, and he’s giving me nothing to go off of”
Wooyoung smiled devilishly
“He’s been lying to me, then. I ask him every day if he has other classes to do stuff for and he says no. I will absolutely be getting on him about that”
San shook his head
“Teenagers” he sighed
Everyone nodded and repeated what he’d said
“Teenagers.”
After a moment of silence, Hongjoong spoke up
“How about (female student name, pleasant connotation)?”
The mood lifted immediately and everyone gave their own version of the word “aww”
“She is the highlight of my whole day” you said
“Seriously she’s so polite and she tries so hard even when she’s having a hard time” Wooyoung agreed
“Super athletic too” San added
“Ooh and (male student name, pleasant connotation)?” you said to another chorus of agreement “He’s kind of a punk sometimes but he’s another one that always does his best”
Hongjoong smiled
Complaining was fun, but he loved the light in your eyes when you talked about the parts of the job that you loved
Anyway as I said it was November and the Before Christmas faction of teachers was starting to get nervous because there was no sign of anything happening
They saw you walk out together more than usual but they didn’t know that you were meeting up outside of school and stuff
The kids were also more riled up about it than usual
To the point where Hongjoong wondered if the other teachers were inciting chaos on purpose
It was getting bad enough that one of his classes almost failed a test across the board—on a unit about rounding and converting fractions to decimals of all things
As in the easiest math ever
So Mr. Kim had to resort to drastic measures
At the beginning of all his classes, he drew a box on the edge of the whiteboard
“This is the nonsense box” he explained with a teacherly smile
That is to say frustrated but still filled with love for his students
“Every time one of you is talking about anything that is not related to class, a tally mark goes in the box. Each tally mark represents an extra fifteen seconds you get to sit in your seat after the bell rings”
A chorus of protest arose
“I don’t want to hear it” Mr. Kim shook his head “How many of you are planning on retaking last Friday’s test?”
About half of the hands in the room came up sheepishly
“Exactly. It’s because we’re constantly off topic that no one is able to listen and learn in here. We can do better, okay?”
And then immediately from the back of the room
“Ooh, Miss (L/N) just passed in the hall!!!”
And chorus of “Ooooooh”
Whether it was true or not, Hongjoong was happy to draw his first tally mark without a word
Just that same teacherly smile
Another round of protest came and he drew another one
After the third tally mark, they shut up
“Good. Let’s talk about coefficients. Has anyone heard that word before?”
Once again I will say it was November
And the month after November is December
And December is the month of Christmas
Not just Christmas break
But Christmas itself
And that meant that Hongjoong now
After coming back from a brief Thanksgiving break
Had only a few weeks to find you a Christmas present
Now he wasn’t thoughtless like this wasn’t the first time it had crossed his mind
It had just stressed him out wondering if he would have the guts to confess his feelings for you or if he would be outed somehow first
Plus in case y’all didn’t know teaching (especially teaching around the holidays) is stressful
He just imagined Christmas as this far off date that was too good to ever come
And so he hadn’t even had time to think about what to get you
Something for your classroom?
Something for your home?
A cute accessory?
A fun math shirt?
Not a gift card though that was far too impersonal
Nothing seemed good enough for you
If he were to deliver his feelings with a gift like any of these, it felt insufficient
Most lunches the last bit of November and the first week of December
(If not spent pestering you)
He spent fretting over his Amazon cart with his head in his hands
And then the most unfortunate miracle occurred
The heaters toward the math hall decided working at full capacity was a waste of tax dollars
And the weather was shaping up to be quite uncomfortable
Everyone started to bring blankets and stuff but it was never quite enough
Your classroom was especially cold, since it was the farthest down the hall
So Hongjoong was gifted an opportunity
He went and found one of those soft and cozy electric blankets
In a color he assumed to be your favorite considering how much you wore it and how many of the little trinkets around your classroom were that color
And he packaged it like he had meant to give it to you for Christmas anyway
Then he brought it for you the next day
You were sitting at your desk in your full winter outdoor gear with a blanket that did look cozy but thankfully was not electric
And your teeth were practically chattering as you waved hello
He still hadn’t taken off his coat or his gloves either actually
He set the present on your desk
“I was saving this for Christmas but I think you might need it more now” he told you with a grin
Your curiosity was suddenly piqued
You opened the gift cautiously, glancing up at him every few seconds
But as soon as you felt the material of the blanket, you perked up
And upon discovering that it was electric you could have cried
“I haven’t been able to feel my fingers since last week” you told him gratefully “Seriously I was trying to figure out how many space heaters I would need to buy to survive the winter”
“The department head has one in her classroom” he said “If you grab your old blanket and your laptop then you can let your new blanket heat up here while we hang out over there”
What a beautiful suggestion
The department head raised her eyebrow at the two of you coming in with blankets
But she smiled too when she saw you settling down in front of her heater
“Don’t tell anyone” she said “but sometimes I take a nap over there during lunch”
“Oh I see exactly why” you agreed, sitting cross-legged and setting your computer in your lap “I can literally feel my bones thawing out”
Hongjoong settled down a respectable distance from you
But he thought someone else was pranking him when he felt a blanket drape over his shoulders
He looked around, startled, and then he realized it was the other side of your blanket
You had thrown your blanket over him to share, even though he had one of his own
And now you were pulling his arm to get him to scoot closer to you
Was this a dream??
He would not be happy if his alarm rang
But no it was real and he happily obliged
You were sitting shoulder to shoulder again
Just like at the professional development workshop
Except this time it was so warm and cozy and there was definitely a much less professional vibe
The department head raised her eyebrow at you once again
But Hongjoong was way too enamored with your shy smile to notice
After just a few minutes in this cozy little haven
Your time was unfortunately cut short
Not by students arriving to school
But by Wooyoung poking his head into the classroom
“Oh I’ve been looking everywhere for you guys”
He stepped into the classroom and greeted its owner accordingly
She nodded as if to allow him permission to enter
“They have hot chocolate down in the teachers lounge” Wooyoung informed them “I figured you icicles back here in the freezer rooms would want some but it looks like you were hiding a—” he looked down at the two of you skeptically “campfire back here”
Wooyoung clearly thought he meant something by that but no one else knew what he was trying to say
So his last comment went ignored
“Do you want hot chocolate?” Hongjoong asked you “I can go get some for us”
“No it’s okay I’ll go with you” 
Oh Wooyoung saw exactly what was going on here
Hongjoong did not
Hongjoong was a little confused—was his help becoming an awkward burden to you?
While Wooyoung saw the truth
You just wanted the excuse to walk with him
Now Wooyoung had two choices
He could step back and let you two walk down together, maybe say something to speed this math teacher romance along
Or he could third wheel
And who was Wooyoung if he didn’t pass up the chance to annoy?
Plus he had taken an oath once he started collecting bets that he wouldn’t try to swing the competition one way or another
And since telling you about the hot chocolate while you were together felt like pushing the competition faster, it felt right to pull it back a bit by getting in between you for a few minutes
So he offered hands to both of you to help you off the floor
“Let’s all go together then” he said “You should also find out if your campsite director wants any”
“Campsite director?” Hongjoong asked, shutting his computer
You also closed your computer and set it aside, looking around to figure out who Wooyoung was talking about
“Your gracious host this morning” he clarified, giving the department head a charming little wave
You both took Wooyoung’s hands at the same time and almost pulled him down with you in the process of standing up
As you straightened your pants, you asked the department head if she wanted you to bring her back any hot chocolate, to which she responded yes please
Wooyoung insisted on walking in the middle
And Hongjoong wondered if all of the patience he had acquired as a middle school teacher was going to be spent on not wringing this guy’s neck this morning
Fortunately Mr. Jung acted enough like one of Mr. Kim’s students that he was able to pretend he was one and just let it go
Unfortunately by the time they got back to the department head’s classroom kids were starting to show up so that was the end of artificial campfire cuddle time
But there was a silent agreement as you picked up your blankets and computers that you would be doing this again sometime
The first few weeks of December didn’t necessarily fly by but they did go by quickly in hindsight if that makes sense
And before everyone knew it
Christmas break was upon you
And there was no further progression of the math department couple
The Before Christmas teachers had gotten antsier and antsier right up until the day before break started
But thankfully no one had been worried enough to interfere
Hongjoong decided to stay in his classroom that day
(As if he didn’t stay in his classroom every day)
Because people had been giving him disappointed looks all over the school and he was tired of it
Even the principal had made a trip to Hongjoong’s classroom the Friday afternoon before everyone left
Just to tell him how disappointed he was that he hadn’t had the guts to make a move even when he knew the principal’s precious money was on the line
And ask him if you were secretly dating already and just didn’t want to make a big deal about it
But ultimately to wish him luck and a nice break
A few minutes after he left, you popped into his classroom
You had your bag and your coat and it looked like you were ready to head home
“Are you so ready to get out of here?” you asked
He stopped immediately in the middle of his task and slammed his laptop shut
Contract hours had ended a whole minute ago and he had wasted a whole minute still doing work? On break?
“Say no more” he said, standing up and putting his coat on “We should have left five minutes ago”
“Wholeheartedly agree” you replied “I would have but the principal visited me and I felt like I had to look like I was doing something”
Hongjoong froze
The principal had visited you too?
Why?
For what purpose?
Betting purposes?
This technically didn’t still count as Before Christmas Break right?
“That’s weird haha he came and visited me too, like ten minutes ago” he said with the normalest most unbothered tone he could manage
(He tried)
(His voice was not quite an octave higher than usual)
(Which is considerable improvement since it’s usually an octave and a half)
“Maybe he’s just making rounds” you said with a shrug “It’s nice to see how much he cares about this school. Definitely one of the better principals I’ve worked with”
Hongjoong relaxed perhaps too visibly
“Yeah if you need a guy to have your back he’s got it no question”
“Anyway if you don’t have any plans for the day after Christmas you should spend it with me”
If Hongjoong had been drinking something he would have choked
Even if he’d had plans in the first place he would have canceled them for you
“My day is wide open” he said “As is almost all of my break”
You smiled and his stomach did a flip
He wondered if it was ever going to stop doing that
He hoped not
“Mine too. If you’re bored, you can probably text me and I won’t be doing anything”
Was it cringe that he was now looking for technically his second Christmas present for you?
Yeah maybe but that was his lifestyle now
To quote N.Flying’s Lovefool “if they call me a lovefool it’s okay as long as it’s for your sake”
Even if you didn’t see him that way that was A-Okay
Anyway he found some cute little math-themed trinkets like pi earrings and a right triangle pin that said “I’m always right”
Because actually who are math teachers if they don’t like puns
And the morning after Christmas Day he wrapped them up all nice for you
And he got ready to meet you at a little restaurant you now frequented together
But this was actually like the first time he was meeting you on a whole day off so he had to figure out how to dress not like a teacher but still kinda nice
He had no idea
All of his pants were teacher pants
His shirts? All teacher shirts
He was way too good at dressing for his job
So he wore jeans instead of his usual khakis and hoped that was different enough?
He also layered one of his graph paper teacher shirts with a plain t-shirt underneath and didn’t button it up
He looked himself up and down in his mirror, trying different poses to make sure he looked like a Normal Guy
In the end he decided his hair was the only issue
He only knew how to style it in a teacherly fashion
And leaving it unstyled wasn’t an option
So he looked up some tutorials on some easy styles but he just could not see himself as anything other than a math teacher
So he gave up and just prayed that he looked okay
You looked perfect of course
The difference was subtle in theory but the way you dressed, the way you did your hair and makeup, it made for a world of difference
Oh you looked so gorgeous he was never going to get over it
Your eyes practically sparkled when you met him out front and man he thought before that he couldn’t be more in love with you but he was wrong
You did seem a little more awkward today than usual and he couldn’t figure out why
Like you almost seemed nervous
What for? It was just him
You got your food and he suddenly remembered the gifts in his pocket
“Oh!” he exclaimed, pulling them out “I know I gave you the blanket a few weeks ago but I found these and I knew you had to have them. Merry double Christmas?”
You covered your mouth to hide your laughter and your bite of food
“That’s so funny because I found something for you too”
And you pulled a little package out of your bag
Down bad wasn’t even a good descriptor anymore and neither was head over heels like there had to be a stronger silly description of being in love and if there wasn’t it would have to be invented for him
You had found him a shirt that said “Math is hard. So is life. Get over it.”
(Tbh an actual shirt that I own)
And he promised you he would be wearing it the day you all got back from break
As for his silly little gifts you adored them
You put the pi earrings in immediately and started brainstorming what do do with the other things out loud
He could not have been happier with himself
And then you caught him staring at you
You paused in your excited little ramblings
He sat up a little straighter, wondering what to say next
But you smiled and looked down at your plate
“You’re pretty cute, you know that?” you told him, unable to meet his eyes for more than a second
In front of you, his first instinct was to deny the possibility and he followed it without thinking
“Eh, no I’m not—not in comparison to you, anyway”
Hmm if he wanted to keep his feelings secret then that was not the thing to say
But you deserved to know it
Not just cute but beautiful
Heartstoppingly so
You took the compliment well anyway
“Have you ever thought…” you began, trailing off
You watched him as he waited for you to continue, his eyes wide and curious
“Never mind” you dismissed with a casual wave of your hand
“No hey what were you going to say?” he asked
“Nothing I just had a weird thought for a second”
“No no come on! You know I wouldn’t judge you for anything”
You hesitated again and he could see that same nervousness he’d noticed before
“Have you ever thought…I don’t know” you put your elbows up on the table “of us as more than friends? Like dating maybe?”
Once again he was going to be very upset if his alarm clock went off now
But even if this was a dream, there was no harm in saying it out loud
“Every day since the day I met you” he answered honestly
You blinked like you didn’t believe him
“You’d better not be joking because I mean this like I’m risking our whole professional relationship here—”
And then he realized
You literally had no idea about him
Genuinely no clue that the whole school knew exactly how you had him wrapped around your finger
Except you
“—on the slightest chance that you might feel the same way—”
“Hey” he stopped you softly “I would never joke about how I feel about you”
Embarrassment began to set in for both of you
“Seriously,” he said, holding back a laugh, “you can ask any of my students, any of the teachers. I think you were the last one to find out that I have a massive crush on you”
“Oh no you’re kidding!” you exclaimed, your hands coming up to hide your face
“I really wish I were—Wooyoung has two rounds of bets going with the teachers about when and how we would end up dating. It’s just about me though—I don’t think anyone else knew about you”
You buried your face further in your hands
“That is so embarrassing” you whined “Seriously I might kill Wooyoung when we get back from break”
“I’ll help you” he promised
You ended up deciding to tell the other teachers on account of the bets they had placed on you
But you asked them not to tell the kids
Hongjoong was comfortable dealing with them at this point and he didn’t see the point in subjecting you to the attention he got about it
Speaking of the bets
No one won any of them technically
The two categories were before/after Christmas break and you notice/he confesses
And since you confessed during Christmas break well
As tempting as it would have been to say that you two deserved the money
(Especially on those teacher salaries)
You just made Wooyoung give it back to everyone who had put money down
And honestly? Very little about your at school dynamic changed
The kids still teased Hongjoong every day about his obvious soft spot for you
But he didn’t care because he knew better than they did anyway
You did actually start to notice now that kids were gossiping about you and Hongjoong
And it was really funny actually
Especially when he stopped by your classroom and the kids went dead silent watching you
Or when you left his classroom and you heard the kids explode with their weirdo little preteen comments from just outside in the hallway
Wooyoung insisted on telling you about every time you were mentioned in his classroom
This included the story about the girl rejecting a boy because quote no one can like anyone as much as Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N) enquote
And you about died from laughter and embarrassment
Because how had you missed every single sign thrown your way??
It was so obvious now that you were dating him and you knew why he spent as much time as physically and contractually possible in your classroom
Because like I said very little about your at school dynamic changed
He still treated you almost exactly the same way
Except now if you were having a bad day he could hug you and kiss you on the head and tell you that everything would be okay and you were a good teacher
And if he got cold he could come to your classroom and have you sit on his lap while you shared your blanket
You were very very careful with any displays of affection by the way like it was only behind a locked door that you would even dare
Because firstly unprofessional
A literal breach of the code of ethics more likely than not
And secondly what if the kids saw you???
The other teachers were whatever like you didn’t really want them to walk in on you either but at least they were other adults
But the kids??? 
There were already too many rumors flying around the school about you and they did not need a even whispering of confirmation
The end of that came of course when you got engaged like a year or so later idk and you showed up to school with a ring on your finger and the kids went wild
“Mr. Kim she has a ring!!!”
“Mr. Kim what are you going to do?? She’s gonna get married!!”
“Mr. Kim you must be heartbroken”
You had prepared for this together
You had known it was coming so you knew you had to be ready for the chaos it was going to cause
So you had decided that he would also start wearing a ring to match even before the wedding
So to all his very concerned students he got to hold up his hand and say in the coolest most chic manner possible
“And who do you think gave her the ring huh?”
It was like setting off a nuclear bomb of middle school gossip but it was so worth it
Anyway breaking the chronological flow going back in time because this needed to be the last scene
The cutest change with your at school dynamic now that you were dating was now you could exchange secret messages on sticky notes with the papers you traded
He started it by handing you a test key to check with a sticky note on the top that you assumed was a label for what the test was
But on closer inspection it was a pickup line
“The limit of my love for you is like the limit of 1/x as it approaches 0; it doesn’t exist”
So you wrote back on the same sticky note “well mine is like 1/x^2 and it approaches infinity so there” and handed it back to him once you checked his key
Not to be outdone he wrote you a new note
“Girl are you a 30° angle inscribed in a circle because you’re acute-y pi”
Oh that one was bad
You had to give him something worse
“If we’re both math teachers, how come we have so much chemistry?”
You handed him that one in between classes
And as he read it he had to disguise his sudden laughter as a cough because there were kids around and they didn’t need to be curious about what he was laughing at
His next sticky note had a crease down the middle horizontally
128√e980
You recognized it immediately but you folded it in half to reveal the secret message anyway
“I love you”
So you gave him back “I hope you like fractions because you’re my other half”
You stored all these away in a little file on your computer titled “Valentine’s Day Math Jokes”
Maybe for some future Valentine’s Day activity
But mostly just to keep them all somewhere safe where you could look at them any time you wanted
Without some kid being like “oooh Miss (L/N) whatcha lookin at”
Your favorite note from him was about as simple and dorky as they came
Much like Hongjoong himself actually
Simplify 2x+6i<2(x+9u)
First you distributed the 2 on the right
2x+6i<2x+18u
Then since there was a 2x on both sides, you could subtract them and cancel them
6i<18u
Then divide by 6
And the answer made you smile every time
i<3u
(so I know how I wrote this so fast actually. I just have a goal to write 250+ words every day and uh pretty much every day of the month of January ended up dedicated to this one. Someone said Math Teacher Hongjoong and I (graduated in December with a math teaching degree, student taught in a middle school for 4 months) went feral over it whoops)
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thatgirlie-diaries · 1 year ago
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Academic tips that work for me
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Hello girlies! This is a post that I have been delaying for like 2 weeks, but now it's time or me to post it. In this blog I will give you all the things I do to keep myself getting high grades and maintain the "intelligent" persona I have worked for since I started studying my college career and fortunately others see me this way now.
I do not study hevy or know a lot about studying methods, I am more into "smart work > hard work" kind of thing
My personal tips
This are my tips being an auditory person focused on being effortless
Understand your learning style: Are you visual? Auditory? Or kinesthetic? By knowing this you can apply studying methods that are efficient for you.
Pay attention to your classes!: I think the main reason I slay effortlessly my exams is because of this so I only need a quick study. You will be saving future time since your study sessions will be lighter because you will remember lots of the things.
Participate / Ask questions: It's easy, you will get points with your teachers as a great student, plus you will get your questions solved.
Put your on a place you can't see it so it doesn't distract you, for classes or when you need to study / get work done.
Study in a place when you feel comfortable, it can be at an cafe or at the library, even in your bedroom at a desk, what matters is that you feel comfortable and that you get the feel of "this is a place where I can study / do my assignments" and not feel lazy or uncomfortable by "x or y" reason. As a plus, keep your space clean and only with the necessary at sight.
Use music that doesn't distract you and you vibe with: Listen to music that doesn't have lyrics, but that's a basic by now. What I recommend you is to listen to music that you just vibe with to get your desired mood and motivation. In my case, I listen to videogame soundtracks since it makes me feel relaxed or to classical music because I fee like "that business girly", either way music helps me concentrate.
Romanticize your studies: This can mean different things to all of you reading this post, I am talking about making your academic journey fun and pleasing rather than streesing! Some ideas are having cute stationery, take cute notes, act like one of your fav academic characters, have study playlists, drinking coffee, go to the library or to cafes, dress cute for school, read, light candles, watch "study with me" videos and study vlogs, create a pinterest board, stablish academic goals, etc.
Do your homework when you have free time at school / college or do it as a first thing after your schedule, this will help you save time. Think about it, if you do it while having free time at school / college you don't need to do it at home. And if you need to do it at home, if done as the first thing, you will either way get so much free time and can focus on other tasks or activities freely.
Be organized: Have a bullet journal or use an app to keep track of your subjects and assignments. By this you will remember and keep in sight upcoming deadlines and events.
Take care of your academic relationships: I make sure that the people inside my circle of friends are girls (mainly, but boys too) who I feel comfortable, have fun with but also are similar to me in the sense that they take seriously her studies and are good teammates. Outside of them I also focus on other potential classmates that are intelligent and have similar values. There is no need to bother on the ones who don't attend classes, are irresponsable and don't even know what are they doing in the course.
Take care of yourself: Ask yourself? Will it be worth it while not sleeping enough, having a poor diet and exercise? By not letting yourself rest or have fun from time to time? By not practicing self-care? By not practicing any hobby or taking the time for your interests ? Please take care of yourself, girl, this is the lowest part of the pyramid. The reason to care is not only your wellbeing, but also because having a poor lifestyle can have bad effects for you that also affect your performance, and we won't like that.
Now go and slay your academic year / course! 𑄽𑄺ྀ
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thatbitchery · 11 months ago
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& remember the first sign of a loser loser loser loser is hating school. Yall should've unfollowed me 2023 this year I'm laying it on you as is.
If you're not in some sort of murder level clas enroll right now. & it has to be so hard it feels like a death sentence
Ladies any form of "escape the matrix" and "you don't need school" & whatever school hating content out there is level down programming meant to keep you stuck and weak. School is the closest imitation to real life you get so dropping a class because it's too hard is your sign to tie yourself to your moms basement and never leave because you sure as heaven not making it in corporate, business, friendships, relationships, and, God Forbid, parenting. You Manifest a future as a stone because that's the most you can do with that mentality. Dropping out because you have anxiety is another great sign to move to the Amazon and cosplay a sloth because if you think there are human interactions in the adult world that won't make you feel anxious ahhh baby my baby. You got it so wrong, baby. If you can't focus in a 30 minute lesson just take your dream board & burn it up burn it upp and try your hand at being a house fly you'll have better luck. If you drop a class because you don't like the teacher stay as far away from romantic relationships and friendships and , especially, corporate & entrepreneurship because girly don't we have news for ya. Can't manage your time? And you want to be a CEO? Are you kidding?
School is the closest imitation to real life you get & the better you are at it the better you are at life, the harder your school life is the better your real life will be. & I mean take biochem engineering & aeronautical engineering first year college, get your ass run over by it BUT learn to sit still, to power through, teamwork, study techniques, etc so no one cares about your A [fun fact most A students don't make it] but did you power through it? K then junior year do the thing you actually like.
Not liking school for whatever reason is loser mentality if you couldn't make it past test drive what makes you think you'll make it on the highway. Back in high-school when I told my grandma I'm giving up on my scholarship because I'm getting bullied and tortured and ostracized her response wasn't a hug it was a slipper grandma of color style because do you think that won't happen in your adulthood? You think you run from a problem and it goes away? Go back in and make it tf. Notice how I'm not focused on what grade you get? My friend works at firm (one of the top of the country) that don't employ people with a history of As , it's not about academic excellence, can you get to cheer practise at 6 am and be in class by 7? What makes you think you can be a mom then? "Independent" can you schedule yourself? Manage classes, sports, hobbies, a part-time job, home chores , friendships, and free time? WHAT DO YOU THINK ADULTHOOD IS ABOUT? what makes you think running from that in school (where you have guidance & forced community) will keep you safe? Out here you're all alone sis. And now the government protects you like a treasure that ID days 18 and its up to you to protect yourself. If you can not sit still in a 30 minutes class you don't like what makes you think you're cut out for corporate? Yall ain't never left your moms house and it shows, no one that has been in the real world has that level of delulu.
Pick the damn calculus class & power from an E to a C- so when you're running your business & you meet hard things you dislike you have muscle memory to power through it & bc your business is something you like it's easier. Go to school with the girls that dislike you & find a way out of that so when your mom in law or officemates are being flaky you know what to do, you don't run. Sit through that class with that one homphobic sexist bigoted teacher so when you land a job at your dream firm you don't resign in six days and sabotage shit because you're delulu enough to think your little tantrum matters.
School , especially boarding school, is the closest imitation to real life you get. Power through it, take advantage of the resources & always chase the hardships now that you have people charged with guiding you so you're not 25 unmotivated with no accomplishment despite your A's , barely functional adult feeling like a loser because you let tiktok & escape the matrix bojo creators lie to you. Do you want to be one of those 35 year olds heavy on magical thinking because you didn't learn what your parents literally paid for you to learn under the guise of 'self care'. Don't be dumb dumb.
Success spills over
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prettywhenicryyyyyyyy · 14 days ago
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Shy nerd guys, always surprise you
Sim jaeyun
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𖤐 paring : Jake x reader
𖤐 genre : high-school sweethearts
𖤐 warning : 18+ content, fingering, choking, pussy eating, makeout, smut, kissing, neck grabbing
𖤐 summary : Jake, the physics prodigy and your high school sweetheart, offered to help you with your studies. However, instead of focusing on physics, you had other plans in mind, involving making him forget all about equations and delve into a more satisfying kind of experimentation.
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song suggestions (listen while reading) :
As you entered the classroom, your shoulders slumped and a frown tugged at the corners of your lips. Jake couldn't help but notice your expression and asked, "What's wrong? You look like someone just told you your favorite band has disbanded."
With a heavy sigh, you replied, "I just got called into the physics teacher's office. My grades in that class have been dropping like a rock, but I've been excelling in all my other subjects. It's so frustrating because I'm usually good at everything, especially math, but physics is just kicking my butt."
Jake couldn't resist poking a little fun at your distress over physics grades. He chuckled and teased, "It sounds like the only thing dropping around here is your physics grade, not some random band. Maybe you should focus on studying physics instead of being their number one fan."
She rolled her eyes at his playful jab, but couldn't help a slight smile from tugging at her lips as she retorted, "Oh shut up, Jake. As if your taste in music is any better than mine."
Jake raised an eyebrow in feigned surprise. "Oh, so my music taste is now on the chopping block, huh? Well, let me tell you, my taste in music is a masterpiece like none other."
You chuckled at his over-the-top response. "A masterpiece, huh? Let me guess, you only listen to obscure and experimental genres that no one's ever heard of, right?"
Jake feigned offense. "Obscure and experimental? Those are just fancy words for 'ahead of their time' and 'avant-garde.' You'll come around to appreciate my excellent taste eventually."
Just as your conversation with Jake was getting a bit livelier, Sunghoon walked into the room, He noticed the two of you sitting together, Sunghoon approached the two of you, a bit curious as to what you were discussing. With a hint of concern in his voice, addressed your academic struggles. "Word on the street is that you're having some trouble with physics lately. I heard it's been giving you quite the headache."
"Great, more talk about physics" you said, annoyance creeping into your voice.
"You know, I'm pretty good at this class," he said casually. "If you need any help, I'd be happy to lend a hand." Jake stifled a laugh as Sunghoon made the offer to help with physics. He knew all too well that Sunghoon struggled with the subject himself.
"Good one, Sunghoon," Jake said, struggling to hide his amusement. "Maybe you should focus on helping yourself with physics first before offering to help others."
Sunghoon rolled his eyes at Jake's comment. "Yeah, yeah, I get it, I'm not the greatest at physics," he replied, feigning offense. "But I'm still offering, alright?"
Jake's possessive streak started to show. He felt a twinge of jealousy as he noticed the way Sunghoon was offering to help you with physics.
"You know what, Sunghoon," Jake suddenly interjected, a hint of irritation in his voice. "I'm her boyfriend. I can help her with physics if she needs it. You can take a back seat, alright?"
"Alright, alright, chill out, Jake," sunghoon said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "I get the hint. You've got it covered. I'll step back, no need to get all territorial."
With that, he turned and walked away, shaking his head with a mix of annoyance and acceptance.
You couldn't help but chuckle at Jake's possessive words. "Hmmm," you teased, a mischievous grin tugging at your lips. "Is that your way of declaring your ownership over me, Jake?"
Jake rolled his eyes playfully, realizing you were poking fun at his earlier display of jealousy. "Shut up," he retorted, but there was no hint of irritation in his tone. "You know I just don't like sharing what's mine."
Jake leaned in close, his voice dropping to a seductive tone. "It's not just a matter of pride, you know," he whispered. "It's a matter of desire. You're mine, and I don't like the thought of another guy getting so close to you. It stirs up primal instincts, a hunger I can't control. So, you see, it's more than just possessiveness. It's a deep, primal need to claim what's mine." The intensity in his voice and the way he described his desire to claim you made your heart race. But just as you were processing his words, Jake leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on your forehead.
The affectionate gesture caught you off guard, making your cheeks flush with a mix of surprise and affection. You couldn't help but feel a fluttery sensation in your stomach as you wondered how one simple move could melt your defenses so effortlessly.
As you looked at Jake, your eyes slowly traveled down his lean figure. You took in his messy hair that fell perfectly over his glasses, framing his captivating puppy-like eyes. The prominent vein there was the way he would occasionally bite his lower lip, a subtle gesture that spoke of a hidden lust. You couldn't help but feel a heat slowly begin to spread through your body as you continued to drink in the sight of him.
Jake's hands were a dangerous game, a tantalizing tease that left you craving for more. The veins that ran along his arms and down his fingers added a sinful edge, a hint of animalistic power lurking beneath the surface. And his slender digits, how they moved with such fluid elegance and grace, whether strumming the strings of his guitar or tracing a soft touch against your skin — each movement was a symphony of passion and finesse, leaving you entranced and yearning for more.
Jake gave you a reassuring smile, his puppy-like eyes meeting your gaze."I'll be at the park at 5 with Layla and my physics helpbook. We'll hang out, and I'll help you with your physics studies. Sound good?"
"Sure," you replied, a hint of excitement in your voice. "That sounds like a great plan. I'll see you there at 5."
in the park
As you approached the park, you spotted Jake up ahead, playing with Layla. He was throwing a small squeaky toy for Layla to chase and catch, and she was gleefully running after it, her tail wagging with excitement. Jake looked up as you neared, a smile spreading across his face.
"Hey, you're here!" he greeted you, patting the spot beside him on the bench. "I was just playing with Layla while I waited. She's having a blast."
"omg she's full of energy today" you said
As you settled down beside him, Jake couldn't resist stealing a quick kiss. His lips gently brushed against yours, a soft and affectionate gesture that sent a warm flutter through your chest.
"Hey," he whispered. "I missed you. You look beautiful today."
"I missed you too." you chuckled.
Jake chuckled softly, "Yeah, let's start on those physics questions. Can't let you slack on your studies, now can we?" With that, he opened the physics textbook and flipped to the chapter you had been struggling with. He placed the book on your lap so you could both look at it.
"Alright," he said, pointing to a problem on the page, "Let's start with this one. Do you remember the formula we need to solve it?"
You nodded, trying to focus your attention on the textbook in front of you. Jake's proximity was making it a bit challenging to concentrate, but you took a deep breath and mentally went through the formula in your head.
"Uh, let me think," you said, tapping your fingers on the page. "I think it's something like F equals ma, right? Force equals mass times acceleration?"
"Exactly right," he said, his gaze fixed on your face. "That's the one. So, assuming we have the mass and the acceleration, we can plug those into the formula and solve for force."
He pointed to the numbers listed in the problem, guiding you through the steps of plugging them into the formula. As he continued to explain the physics problem, using his hands to illustrate the concepts, your attention was drawn to his veiny forearms and slender fingers. The way his hands moved as he explained the formulas, the subtle motions, was incredibly hypnotic. And as his hands gestured towards your neck, as if wrapping around it delicately, a shiver ran down your spine, causing you to momentarily forget about the physics problem.
You couldn't help but imagine those hands on your skin, the touch of his slender fingers exploring every inch of you, slowly and methodically. His eyes, still fixed on your face, appeared to notice your distraction, and a sly, knowing smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He was well aware of the effect his hands and his nearness were having on you, and he found it amusing to see your concentration waver. But all the while, a flicker of desire flickered in his eyes, mirroring your own imagination of his touch.
"Are you paying attention?" he whispered, his voice low and smooth. "I thought you were trying to learn something here."
You snapped your attention back to the problem in front of you, feigning nonchalance.
"Of course I am," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. "Just had a brief moment of distraction. No big deal."
*smirks* Jake handed you a small quiz sheet, and you glanced over it, seeing various physics questions and formulas. His thoughtfulness in preparing it for you touched you, a sign of his genuine wish to help you study.
"Thanks, Jake," you said, looking up at him with a grateful smile. "I'll do my best. And don't worry, I'll be sure to tell you if I need any help."
"Good," he said. "I trust you'll do well. And yeah, don't hesitate to ask if you need any assistance. I'm here to help."
His gaze lingered on you for a moment before he looked away, as if trying to reign in his own feelings.
"Hey," he said softly, "You look exhausted. Coffee might not be a bad idea. Let's head to that café down the street and grab a cup."
"You're right," you replied, a hint of relief in your voice. "Coffee would be perfect right now. Let's go."
As you both stood up, Jake gestured for you to lead the way towards the café. He followed closely behind you, his presence behind you causing a subtle thrill to run down your spine. But you tried to ignore the feeling, focusing on the thought of the much-needed caffeine boost that awaited you at the café.
As you both entered the cozy café, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, immediately lifting your spirits. Jake ordered his usual black coffee, and then he surprised you by ordering your favorite latte with extra whipped cream on top, along with some dog-friendly treats for Layla.
"Here you go," he said, handing you the steaming hot latte. "I thought you could use something a bit sweeter this morning."
"Thank you," you said, meeting his gaze with a sincere smile. "You didn't have to get all this, but I really appreciate it."
Jake smiled warmly, his eyes meeting yours. "You know, I was just thinking," he began, "that it would be great to spend more time together. I'd love it if you could come over to my place afterward. We could hang out, keep studying if you want, or do something else entirely. I just really enjoy your company and want to spend as much time with you as possible."
His smile was eager, hopeful on his face. It was clear that he was genuinely hoping you would say yes.
Jake's suggestion caught you by surprise, and a mixture of emotions washed over you. "Yeah," you replied, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. "I'd like that. Let's hang out at your place after this."
"Perfect." he says with a joyful smile on his face.
Your heart raced with a mixture of excitement and nervousness. This was uncharted territory for you – visiting your boyfriend's place for the first time. It felt like a significant step in your relationship, and you hoped everything would go smoothly.
You glanced at Jake, taking in his relaxed demeanor as he strolled beside you. He seemed at ease.
Jake unlocked the gate and swung it open, gesturing for you to go through. As you entered his place, You followed Jake along the pathway, taking in the serene atmosphere of his home.
He turned to you, a warm smile gracing his lips. "So," he began, "now that we're at my place, there's plenty we can do. We can continue studying together if you want, or we can watch a movie, play some board games, or even cook something together. I'm open to anything that's comfortable for you."
He leaned back on the sofa, folding his arms behind his head, waiting for your response.
"umm how about netflix?" you suggested
Jake's face lit up at your suggestion. "Netflix sounds perfect," he said, reaching for the remote control on the coffee table. "You can pick whatever you want to watch. There's so much to choose from. Movies, series, documentaries – whatever you're in the mood for."
He handed the remote to you, allowing you to choose the entertainment for the evening. As he settled back on the sofa, he glanced over at you, eagerly awaiting your selection.
A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you took the remote from Jake. "You know what?" you said, scrolling through the options on the TV. "Let's watch Grey's anatomy, That always put me in a good mood."
Jake nodded, a warm smile on his face. "That sounds perfect."
A grin spread across your face as you thought about watching Grey's Anatomy. "Alright then," you said, feeling a sense of excitement. "Grey's Anatomy it is! We can spend hours watching those intense medical cases, swooning over the romance, and bonding over our love for Meredith and Derek. Plus, it's got like a million episodes, so we won't run out of content anytime soon."
Jake nodded in agreement, clearly just as enthusiastic about the idea. "This is gonna be epic," he said, grabbing the remote from you. "Let's start from the beginning."
He wrapped his strong arms around you, pulling you closer to him on the sofa. His touch was warm and soothing, making you feel protected and cherished.
You snuggled into his embrace, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. The sound of his heart thumping beneath your ear was a soothing soundtrack to the movie playing on the TV.
The world seemed to fade away as you both focused on the series, losing yourselves in the lives of the doctors at Seattle Grace Hospital.
His slender fingers traced gentle circles on your neck, sending a slight shiver down your spine. His touch was light, yet it sent tingles of pleasure radiating from the point of contact. He seemed to be unconsciously exploring the sensitive skin there, his fingers gliding with ease across your exposed flesh.
As he continued to caress your neck, you could feel the tension slowly seeping from your body. It was as if his touch had the power to soothe and relax you, making everything else seem insignificant in comparison. A small gasp escaped your lips as his fingers trailed across your neck, sending a thrill of electricity through your body. His touch was delicate, yet it ignited a flame within you, sending waves of desire coursing through your veins. The way his fingers explored your skin was intoxicating, and you found yourself arching your neck slightly, giving him easier access.
Jake seemed to notice your reaction, as his finger began to trace a path towards the collarbone, leaving a trail of heat and anticipation in its wake.
As Jake continued to caress your neck and collarbone, your eyes fluttered closed, your body responding to his touch in ways you couldn't control. In that moment, all you wanted was for him to keep going, to explore every inch of you and drive you wild with ecstasy.
"Jake," you whispered, your voice a mere breath.
Jake pulled back slightly, his lips still hovering inches away from yours. His breath came in ragged gasps.
"It's just... ."
Jake remained silent for a moment, his chest rising and falling with each breath.
"What do you want, sweetheart?" he murmured, his voice filled with a tenderness that contrasted with the raw desire you could feel radiating from him. "Tell me what you're feeling right now. Tell me what you need."
Your gaze fixed on Jake's lips, your mind reeling with a flood of thoughts. You knew exactly what you wanted, but the words seemed to get stuck on your tongue. It was as if the intensity of the moment had rendered you speechless, your emotions surging through you like a tidal wave.
He cupped your face in his hands and crashed his lips against yours in a fervent kiss. There was no hesitation, no holding back this time. He kissed you fiercely, his lips moving over yours demandingly, as if he couldn't get close enough. His tongue delved into your mouth, tangling with yours, and his hands roamed your body urgently, mapping every curve and contour. As Jake's lips trailed down from your mouth to your neck, a low moan escaped you, your hands gripping his shoulders tightly. The sensation of his mouth on your sensitive skin sent shivers down your spine, the heat of his touch igniting a fire within you. Each kiss, each nip of his teeth, fueled a desire that you never knew you had. You arched your neck, giving him more access, silently pleading for him to continue his assault on your senses.
"Jake," you gasped, your voice hoarser than before. "Please, put your hand around my throat. I want to feel your touch, your control."
You looked at him, your eyes pleading, silently begging him to give you what you craved.
"Is this what you want, sweetheart?" Jake murmured, his voice low and raspy with desire. He knew exactly what you were asking for, but he wanted to make sure you were certain about it. He tightened his grip slightly tighter, his fingers pressing against the sensitive skin of your neck. "You want me to put my hand around your throat, to give you that feeling of helplessness and desire at the same time?"
"Yes," you breathed, your voice barely above a
Your body arched towards him, silently begging for his touch to become stronger, to bring you to the edge of pleasure and push you over. You felt a sense of surrender, of relinquishing all control to him, and it was both exhilarating and terrifying. But most of all, you wanted to feel him. As Jake's hand closed around your throat, your breath caught in your chest. His fingers applied just enough pressure to make you gasp, making your pulse flutter beneath his touch. It was a possessive move, yet there was a tenderness to it, a care that showed in the way his hand cradled your neck.
His other hand began to explore your body, caressing your curves, his fingers tracing fiery paths across your skin. It was as if he needed to touch you, to claim you, to make sure you knew how much he wanted you.
His hand slipped under the waistband of your sweatpants, a shiver of anticipation ran through you. The touch of his warm palm against your pussy sent a wave of desire coursing through your body, and you instinctively arched towards him, craving more.
He traced small circles on your vagina, his fingers caressing the sensitive flesh he found there. Each touch was deliberate, and he seemed to know where to apply pressure to drive you wild. His hand continued its descent, moving towards the sensitive area between your thighs, and you couldn't help but whimper in need.
"You're so fucking wet y/n" he whispered, his voice deepened.
"Yes, I'm so wet for you," you responded, your voice trembling. "I need you, Jake, so badly. You have no idea how much I crave your touch, your presence."
He leaned in closer, his lips millimeters away from yours. "Show me," he breathed, his voice dripping with lust. "Show me just how badly you want me."
"I can show you better than I can tell you," you purred, leaning closer, your breath mingling with his. Your lips hovered just a fraction of an inch away from his, and the desire to close the gap was almost overwhelming.
"Just close your eyes," you murmured, "and let me show you every single way I want you, every single way I need you."
Your lips pressed against Jake's abs, leaving a trail of soft, moist kisses along his skin, as you marked his body with a hickey. Your tongue traced lazy circles around his navel, tasting the salty essence of his skin. his body reacting to the sensations you were stirring within him. He let out a low moan, his hands gripping your shoulders, holding you against him as if afraid you might pull away.
"fuck" he groaned, his fingers digging into your skin.
As Jake rolled you over, you let out a gasp of surprise, your body momentarily frozen in shock. You surrendered yourself to the sensation, completely at his mercy.
He loomed over you, pinning you beneath him, his strong frame pressing against your soft curves.
"Don't move," he commanded, his voice ragged with need. "Just lie there and let me take good care of you."
Without further ado, Jake pushes your underwear aside and dives in, his skilled tongue immediately finding your most sensitive spots. He licks and sucks with intense focus, determined to make you squirm and moan. His hands grip your thighs, holding you in place as he devours you. "Mmmm..."
"OH GOD" you screamed.
He pulls back, his face glistening. "Oh god? Is that all you've got? Because I've only just begun."
"Such a responsive little thing." He straightens up, his fingers gently caressing your swollen folds. And such a needy one too.His eyes are glistening with lust.
"It feels heavenly," you breathed, the words almost a moan in the quietness of the room.
Jake's grin turns smug as he slowly pushes two fingers inside you, curling them upward to hit that spot that drives you wild. "Heaven, you say?" He begins to move his hand, his rhythm steady and purposeful. "Well, then. I must be your personal angel."
Jake's fingers continue to work their magic, stretching and curling inside you as he eats your pussy with his other hand. "You're so fucking tight, and your taste is divine."
you were out of breath, struggling to breathe
"They were right; it's the shy nerd guys, always surprise you." you said with your voice trembling.
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I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading. 🩷
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suuuupernovaaa · 1 year ago
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Taxi Cab
Hobie Brown x f!Reader
She would never hurt anyone. He would hurt anyone for her.
Before Hobie, nothing very eventful ever happened in my life. I grew up in a happy home, went to a good school, and decided to become an art teacher. I got good grades, I made life long friendships with people similar to me, and I kept my head down and minded my business.
Though it's been nearly half a year since he came rocketing into my life, I still can't put my finger what exactly drew Hobie to me. We don't have a lot in common. Where I am passive, Hobie is active and fierce. Where I am lenient, Hobie is harsh. Until Hobie, I had never listened to punk music, considered anarchy, or pierced a single thing on my body.
Well, I still haven't done the last one. Besides my ears. Needles are too much for me. Sometimes I get nervous that the spikes on Hobie's wardrobe are going to stick me.
Hobie is a force. He's dangerous, he's passionate, he's larger than life. Being near Hobie is addictive. He has a gravity around him that draws people in, but it tends to spit them out at much the same rate.
For some reason, I've been able to hang on. Sometimes it feels like clinging for dear life, until he reminds me how much he cares.
Even though he can do that in odd ways.
Like tonight.
Ever since I met Hobie, trouble seems to follow me around. I've been mugged twice, had my tires slashed, and even had to move because someone broke into my apartment and trashed the place.
My parents are becoming increasingly alarmed, only satisfied in the fact that Spider-Punk always seems to be nearby. They don't necessarily approve of Spider-Punk (I mean, most don't), but they do at least appreciate that he seems to be looking out for me.
Which is so weird! Hobie can't figure it out either, but he says Spider-Punk is a narcissistic asshole who only saves people to get attention for himself.
He might just be mad that I said I thought Spider-Punk seemed like he'd be cute, under the mask.
I was hoping my luck had turned around and I wouldn't need to run into Spider-Punk again for a while, but I guess that was just silly optimism. On my way to Hobie's with two large bags of groceries in hand, I'm stopped suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk when a taxi cab crashes directly into a fire hydrant.
The fire hydrant lets loose a typhoon of water in my direction, and I scramble to the right to get out of the water, but it's too late. I'm soaked.
"Oi!" I hear the unmistakable sound of Hobie yelling. He was heading my direction after I told him the bags were getting heavy, and arrived just in time to witness the crash. He wrenches open the door of the car and pulls out the taxi driver. He seems unharmed, a little shaken up, with heavy bags under his eyes and a wobble in his step.
Drunk or high.
"You could've killed someone!" Hobie is shouting, looking over at me and then back at the driver. "I ought to kick your fucking arse." He pushes the man against the side of his cab as the water continues to spray. I drop the groceries, mostly ruined now, and approach Hobie.
The man is muttering something under his breath, and as I reach them, I can smell the liquor coming through his pores.
I grab Hobie's arm. "I'm okay. Come on."
"No, I saw it, he nearly killed you, Y/N. Just a few feet over, you'd be gone. Then I'd have to fuckin' kill him!" Hobie slams him against his car one more time, and I pull on his arm harder.
"But he didn't. The cops are on their way. Let's go. I need help carrying the groceries, and it's too cold for me to be all wet."
Hobie looks at me finally, really looks at me, and then with one more burning glance at the inebriated taxi driver, gruffly releases his collar and turns to me.
Effortlessly, he scoops me up into his arms, bridal-style, and I gasp. He strides with ease over to our drowned groceries, and bends down, picking them up in his hands.
"Jesus, have you been working out?" I ask.
His face is too tense for a smile, but the corners of his mouth twitch. Despite my protests, he carries me into his building and up three flights of stairs, only setting me down once we are safe inside the walls of his apartment.
Without me asking, he goes into his room and brings out a pair of leggings I've left here before, and one of his t-shirts. I change in the bathroom, drying my hair as best I can with a towel, before going back to the kitchen to see what can be salvaged of the groceries.
"I think I can still do something with this! The bread is gone but, homemade bread crumbs aren't like, necessary. They're just fancy." I turn to see Hobie leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, still scowling. "Uh, or I can go to the store, if the homemade bread crumbs were like, important."
I let out a yelp of surprise when Hobie pushes himself off the counter and strides towards me, grabbing me by the shoulders and bringing me to him for a rough, passionate kiss.
In moments, I meld into him, wrapping my arms around his waist as his fingers find their way into my hair, and his tongue enters my mouth.
This kiss feels different. Urgent, feverish, desperate. He holds me tightly, pressing me so close to him it feels like he wants us to be one person, like he would climb right into my skin.
I pull away for just a moment, gasping for breath. "Are you okay?" I say on an exhale.
Hobie stares down at me intensely, his hands still in my hair, his eyes wild and the corners of his mouth turned downward.
"I would do anything to keep you safe," he says flatly. "There's no limit to what I'd do."
I bring my hands up to his face, cupping his cheeks, nodding. "I know, Hobie."
"I would have killed that man if you hadn't stopped me."
I know he's exaggerating to make a point, but a chill runs up my spine a the way he says it so calmly, with no hint of irony. I remember his chest heaving, the wild look in his eyes as he held that drunk man up against his own car.
He looked out for blood.
"I'm okay, Hobie. So are you."
"Move in with me. You hate that new place. Stay here."
We've only known each other six months. We're barely adults. I make no money as a new teacher and I honestly haven't figured out how Hobie seems to make so much money off the gigs he plays. It's too soon to move in together. It's not smart.
But I love him. And he loves me. We haven't said it yet, but I don't know that we need to. I can see it in his eyes, feel it while he holds me, taste it on his lips.
He loves me.
"Okay."
"Today. Like, we can get your stuff later, but don't sleep there anymore. Stay with me."
I nod and lean forward, pressing my forehead to his chest. His hands finally leave my hair, and wrap tightly around my shoulders. I listen to his heartbeat - rapid at first, but as we stand there, silently clinging to each other, it begins to slow down.
He's pressing soft kisses to the top of my head, humming quietly, and I've never felt more in love.
I've never felt more cared for, more loved in return, more safe.
Six months or sixty years. I don't think it matters.
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lunawagner · 4 months ago
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Couples of Linkon High School
Freshmen: Rafayel x MC
MC is the class president, with Rafayel as her deputy. He calls out, "Miss Class President!" throughout the day.
MC has good grades, —not the top student, but definitely in the top ten.
Of course, Rafayel draws and doodles during classes. But his grades are not bad either thanks to his drive to outperform his possible rivals in love.
His notebooks are filled with sketches of MC.
MC teaches math to Rafayel and Rafayel teaches English to MC.
They are both bad at physics and spend class time drawing short comics together. However, if nobody listens and the teacher seems down, they would listen and nod along even though they don't understand a word.
The chemistry teacher is unsure if they like or fear Rafayel.
Overall, teachers love them 'cause they treat their teachers as real people and genuinely care about them.
Sometimes they lock their pinky fingers under the desk and keep them that way until the class is over, even though they both get a bit embarrassed.
Rafayel is determined not to kiss her on the lips until both become adults.
Their music teacher is Rafayel's aunt. MC loves her classes and is learning to play piano. Rafayel always complains but still can play at least one decent piece on every instrument you have in the music room.
The art teacher is Thomas. He and Rafayel always argue as Rafayel doesn’t want his art to be just another mass product produced for exhibitions and competitions
MC grew up in a government institution. Although she doesn't remember, she met Rafayel when he was placed there after losing his parents. His relatives quickly took him in, but MC looked out for him, saving him from the bigger kids who tried to bully him. Eventually, they became friends.
MC is tomboy-ish and can't process her emotions properly.
MC's fashion sense is minimal, so Rafayel goes to shopping with her on weekends. Thanks to that they have some matching couple clothes.
Sophomores: Xavier x MC
They have average grades but excel in sports, making them the school's hidden assets in tournaments.
The school coach would love to have them join every team if he could.
Xavier is popular among other boys and has a considerable number of fans.
They nap together during lunch breaks.
They are members of the literature club and student librarians. So they regularly visit the library to read books or organize shelves and help others.
Literature teacher loves them.
Xavier tends to sleep through STEM classes, so MC shares her notes with him later in exchange for snacks or chocolate milk.
When Xavier gets bored during lectures or breaks, he secretly plays with MC's hair.
Despite skipping classes for extracurricular activities, they absorb information quickly, allowing them to pull all-nighters before exams and still perform well.
Some boys claim they got beaten up in the dark when they went down to the basement. Everyone's suspicious of Sylus, but it’s actually Xavier who’s taking care of anyone who messes with MC.
They hang out with a large friend group that includes Tara, Jenna, Jeremiah, and Bella.
Tara enjoys styling MC’s and Bella’s hair with cute hairpins to see how Xavier and Jeremiah will react.
Xavier wears one of MC's hair ties as a bracelet, believing it brings him luck.
They use all of their stationery together, so their pencils and erasers frequently end up in each other’s pencil cases.
MC's dad is a police officer and her mom is a nurse. Xavier's parents are both politicians.
Xavier doesn't get along with his own father but they are on good terms with MC's dad. They play board games, go fishing, or jog on weekends. MC doesn't have the foggiest idea of how it happened.
Juniors: Zayne x MC
Zayne is the top student and MC is right behind him in second place.
People often think MC is just an airhead who gets good grades just because she’s dating Zayne.
But while she is cheerful and active, she’s also super diligent. She pays attention in class, reviews her notes, and makes new ones before exams to make sure she’s on top of things.
She doesn't want to fall behind Zayne and secretly worries about how he would react in case she fails and gets bad grades.
All the teachers are fond of them with some even treating them like their own kids.
MC’s family trusts Zayne more than they trust her, so they’re quicker to say yes to events if they know Zayne will be there with her.
MC has a cute habit of drawing little hearts on the random pages of Zayne's textbooks. Once Zayne noticed it, he started drawing jasmine flowers on hers.
They tend to avoid skinship at school, except for the times MC is sick. During those times, Zayne stays close to her all day, ensuring she is hydrated and consuming warm drinks. He hugs MC and lets her rest on his chest, and he holds her hand during classes.
Seniors: Sylus x MC
One word: Trouble
But no they're not your typical troublemaker brats. They are also top-notch in nearly every class, so teachers don't know what to do with them.
At first, they were pretty low-key about their relationship, keeping it a secret. But once they went public, they became all about PDA with Sylus' hand always around MC's waist whenever they managed to take a break from holding hands.
Science teachers would love to exempt Sylus from taking their classes so that he can never ever set foot in their labs.
Chemistry, physics, and biology teachers change their way when they see Sylus in corridors, lest he ask them about things that would lead to a global catastrophe.
The music teacher gets goosebumps whenever they see Sylus.
Most of the girls don't like MC and there is always gossip and slander surrounding her. But for some, she is like a protective big sis.
MC and Sylus's families have been business partners since the time of MC's grandma.
Sylus' family makes huge donations to the school, so the administration is unusually lenient with him.
They play truant regularly. For what? Nobody knows.
It’s hard for others to actually mess with MC. But, when they do, Luke and Kieran are quick to pull pranks on them even before MC or Sylus can react.
Luke and Kieran look so similar that teachers often can’t figure out who’s at fault. Their innocent expressions after causing trouble don’t make things any easier.
Sylus and MC are chosen school representatives. They are intimidating and cunning so it is easier for them to negotiate with and win over teachers and the local student union.
People come to them with problems to be solved. MC is willing to help them without any immediate material return but Sylus always turns it into a business deal with specific terms.
MC doesn't have many close friends, but she occasionally lunches with the MCs of Xavier, Zayne, and Rafayel.
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gynandromorph · 6 months ago
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another little nofna style emulation comic i drew a bit ago that was primarily about why something can "look like words" when it isn't... it is possibly Legend's first time considering the involuntary nature of reading words. she can rationally know that she isn't looking at writing, but her mind continues to see words that she must try to decipher.
the comic ended up getting side-tracked, but i kind of just let these comics go where they go. it is the nofna spirit.
PS and Legend have probably only spoken several times at this point, as classmates. in my head, this is their first season of classes, and they have only just recently proceeded from practicing handwriting and making letters to writing out spoken word.
i imagine that letters and writing are not intuitive at all to people who haven't grown up with it. Legend knew how to read well before entering school. PS has not really internalized that letters represent sounds. she has seen her teacher or classmates speak words as they're writing lines, and later, other people can tell the words that were spoken while writing the lines. her penmanship is naturally excellent, and prior to this module, she was praised by her teacher lavishly.
i imagine that because MOST RODENTS become markscrafts, and rodents tend to be rather... prolific... in number. that classes for this profession would be fucking huge.
the teacher cannot individually dedicate attention to every struggling student, so the first practice is to pair two struggling students together who seem like they compensate each others' shortcomings and see if they can rehabilitate their grades together.
if students continue to fail despite peer review, that is probably the time where a teacher would talk to them privately or recommend a tutor, etc.
the classes also function by a "revise and resubmit" principle over an "extra credit" principle as it is the most direct way for students to figure out what they did wrong and the least amount of extra work for the professor.
their professor is a mouse; a tried to write the grade print small (called "mouseprint" in the canon).
PS's language here is very rough and strange; i imagine she has, at the VERY most, been exposed to common for only a year. she is maybe ~15-16 in age, psychologically. ever since i made her as a character, i assumed one of her core traits was a low drive to do work. she became a markscraft SPECIFICALLY because she did not want to put in the work to earn prestige or more credit. she picked the easiest possible career for her.
as a younger mind, and only recently introduced to the idea that she has to perform labor or GTFO society, her dislike of work is very obvious and she is not reserved about sharing it. she came from a life where she could volunteer to do small tricks for high value treats if she felt like it, and this life is comparatively brutal and demanding in her mind.
Legend's corsage is red star (Rhodohypoxis baurii) and PS's Leaf is a leaf from a large pineapple lily.
Legend is, conversely, probably 18-20 psychologically. idk, the ages are very weird with these animals. i've imagined her parents as highly Civilized people like XX's mother, but a little less strict. while many citizens of society hate wild people (presumably because many of them are serial killers who might serial kill them), not all of them do (example: nutsedge, who sympathizes with a Wild Hawk killing her classmates), and i imagined Legend's parents impressing into her rather strongly that she did not earn being born into a well-off family and physically gifted species.
of course, this didn't stop her from forming a superiority complex towards rodents anyway-- but, i think she's tolerating a significant amount of Weirdness from PS here that she extremely would not tolerate from someone she didn't assume was wild-integrating-into-society, from the constant touching, to the rude openness, the disdain for work ethic, the odd language usage, and the outfit that's essentially showing up to the study session in pasties and booty shorts.
it seems that in these stories, the animals attain a "fluent" level of speech in common relatively quickly (emancipation, secretary), somewhat influenced by natural talent; i think PS has a brute force spaghetti-against-the-wall approach that lets her just mimic as many phrases that she thinks are novel as possible. usually this is an option only available to toddlers who lack the self-awareness to feel embarrassment about constant awkward linguistic mistakes, but PS also has no cultural priming to be embarrassed of the behavior. you can see her parroting various things she's heard, such as "sooo much" as an emphasis phrase, and even "essentially" after Legend says it in passing. other more abstract phrases such as "with credit" or "okay" i imagine she knows simply by being exposed to them over and over again.
when the two get into deeper levels of literacy and markscraft classes, i imagine that Legend's knowledge of grammar and Big Words in general, combined with an ability to verbally express usually unwritten rules in the language, helped propel PS to a level of fluency that has her speaking like she was raised with it 99% of the time.
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obzessed · 5 months ago
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HP characters : powerpoint presentation headcanon
This is so random but here is how I imagine marauders' era characters doing a powerpoint presentation
The Marauders
Do over the top presentations, (down to using costumes, yes) would make the wildest powerpoint (too many colors because they can’t agree on anything)
They make it really fun and entertaining tho
use the airplane (flying broom ??) transition, except the airplane is on fire for some reason
indian drama level of presentation
Will Not stop giggling and interrupting each other
Jocks in middle school vibe, but they’re actually really smart
here to clown and have a laugh
generally get a high grade but get points deducted for clarity and taking too damn long
Severus Snape (+bonus Lily Evans)
In a solo presentation, Severus would make perfect, pristine presentation
King of bullet points
University standards powerpoints
only uses peer reviewed articles
always criticizes said peer reviewed articles
Never uses notes, but doesn't look the audience in the eyes ever
Doesn't look at the audience period
He's not shy, he doesn't even do it consciously
Extremely complicated subjects, Will Not Dumb It Down For You
If anyone has a question, will look at them as if they’re the biggest idiot in the room
The type to explain by simply reformulating what he just said
If they still don’t understand either sighs dramatically and moves on, or sighs dramatically and start drawing on the board, speaking veeeryyyyy slowly, you let me know where I lost you idiot fellow classmate
Actually explains really well when he puts in some effort, has this clean cut way of decomposing each problem and detailing each point, then tying it all back together that makes it really easy to follow
writing on the board and drawing legitimately helps him lay out his thought process
the condescension is just a plus
Type of presentation that is objectively very good and interesting and well thought out but like. no one cares. bring back the airplane transitions.
For a few people sufficiently advanced and interested and who actually understand what he’s talking about, (and who are not rebuked by his style and general attitude), it’s a v good presentation
Positive : Always adds something new and generally brings really pertinent arguments, genuinely passionate about what he’s talking about
Teachers pick up on his fast out of the box thinking and surprising creativity
his powerpoint design is a little depresso, no colors except to highlight important words
very minimalist and to the point
Regulus argues every point of his presentation
Academic rivals to lovers frfr
Gets point deducted for his attitude and his “lack of enthusiasm”
NOW Severus + Lily = best of both worlds, get an O everytime
Lily always insists on using canva (their pwp designs are so cute)
overall they balance each other really well
I feel like Lily would get a little giggly if she fumbles
The marauders would def shout “boring” and giggle like middleschoolers at the back of the class during Snape's presentation
Snape's ability to remain unfazed in the face of bs stems from there
God help them all if they get paired up for a presentation
Marauders + Severus
Snape would have to settle for at least one airplane transition
It would become a war of adding and deleting each other's progress on the pwp design
they split it in two but they try to gain terrain on the other's part like in Clash of Clan
They are at WAR
“I am a commander in battle and your slides are but a village on a map” James Potter
“Fuck you” Severus Snape
“Go jump off an airplane if you like them so much”
Somehow the presentation is even more chaotic than the previous one
passive aggressively asks the other to click on the next slide
always takes the other's question just as they're about to speak
If Snape sees a single one of them look at their notes for too long it's on sight (RIP Pettigrew)
Bc Fuck if he's gonna lose points over this
best or worst grade
lots of brain cells
Teacher tried to make the braincells hold hands but the brain cells are Enemies
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nicksbestie · 10 months ago
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Hiii could i request a Johnnie Guilbert x gn reader where johnnie has a giant crush on reader and reader flirts w him and flusters him
Yes!!! This was so fun to write bc it's my first fic for this fanbase, so pls give me feedback!! and send in more reqs!! <3
Hallway Crush
word count : 1909
no warnings!
pairing : johnnie guilbert x reader
enjoy! <3
School had never really been Johnnie’s thing.
It wasn’t that he wasn’t good enough to pursue an incredible education, it was just that he didn’t normally have the motivation. He wasn’t dumb, he was incredibly intelligent, but he just didn’t have the energy to push to show it most days. He was the kid who always passed, very average but not stellar grades, but every now and then shocked his teachers and classmates with pulling out a top of the class grade. He would laugh and call it his magic trick if you ever asked him about it. However, music was his thing, and because of that, he took every musical arts related class that he could during his years in high school. 
He was a quieter kid, with a much more alternative style of dress, and because of both of these factors, he was a bit of a loner. He wasn’t disliked, per say, but he wasn’t popular, and he didn’t go out of his way to attempt to gain a large group of friends. He had a few friends his age who went to other schools that he saw quite often, and those were good enough for him. He didn’t see a point in trying to put himself out there, so to speak, when he was quite comfortable where he was. Quality over quantity, right? That, of course, didn’t mean that there weren’t times in his life where he wished that more people adored him like they do for a lot of the popular teenagers. 
Sometimes it helped to be more on the outcast-y side. He could get away with silent observation, learning things that nobody had any idea that he knew about. He was a kid people talked so much around, but not to. They weren’t worried that their secrets would be spilled or spread around in any sort of way because they didn’t believe that he had anyone to tell them to, or that anyone would believe him in the first place. But other times, he wished he had more of the school, or at least his grade’s, support. Like now, when he had a massive crush on the most popular student in the entire school. Maybe, if he did, he would have more of a chance. 
He tried not to think about it a whole lot. It wasn’t good for him to dwell on things, as he had learned early in life. It caused his mental health to struggle if he stewed on a specific negative topic for too long, and even though the topic of a crush isn’t inherently negative, the fact that he didn’t feel like it would ever go anywhere was. Being that he didn’t have a lot of friends at the school he was at, he wasn’t a stranger to staring looks and laughing sometimes. He wasn’t exactly bullied or picked on, but when people ran out of new, fresh, drama to talk about, it was easy for them to turn to the kid who was never really speaking to many people. 
He used music to escape his own head, and he always had. It had been a coping mechanism of his for so many years, before he was even old enough to realize what it was, or what had caused him to need it more and more. He was incredibly musically gifted, a natural talent within the dexterity of his fingers for guitar, and it was always a calming thing for him to partake in. Sometimes he wrote his own music, but most times when he just needed a quick release, he would pick a song that he had been resonating with lately and strum through it a couple times. He would get lost in the feeling of the music and the feeling of the strings underneath his fingertips. It was always a thing that caused him to completely lose track of time, and he loved it. It was always a perfect thing to enjoy something you were also so good at. It kept that passion for it alive.
The music room was where he went during his free time. He couldn’t drive, and luckily, his free periods lined up with the music free periods, so he could always be found in that room, playing something on his guitar in the back corner. He also went there during lunch, preferring to spend the time doing something productive for his music. He really wanted to go into a career in music, and he was working so hard to achieve that despite many of the struggles he was facing at the same time. He poured his heart and soul into every song, every piece, that he wrote, and even when he didn’t like the music very much, he was proud of his ability to be vulnerable and put it onto the pages. That had taken a lot of personal growth for him to realize that to put good songs and things that he was proud of into the world, he would have to bare parts of himself for view.
It was during this part of his day, lunch time, when he was sitting in the music room, playing on his guitar. He was the only one in the room, and like usual, he was sitting in the back, not wanting to disturb anyone who could potentially choose to walk in. And after about ten minutes of the lunch period going by, there was someone who walked in, and Johnnie wanted to curse all ancestors before him for this type of bad luck. It would be the one person that he wanted to see more than anyone else in the school, but at the same time, he wouldn’t have been able to really talk to without humiliating himself. Only his luck. 
He didn’t speak to you when you walked in, but he did offer a kind smile when you looked up and made eye contact, before looking back down at his guitar and continuing to work on his own music. You had stopped by the music room because you had a music project that had to be completed, but you weren’t very musically inclined, so you felt very grateful that you didn’t have to present it, only had to turn it in. However, you did still have to make an effort, but you didn’t have a guitar at home, so you were stopping by to use the ones in the music room. You only knew a couple of chords, but it was the most that you knew on any instrument, so it was your best option. All you had to do was come up with a simple melody, a short strumming pattern, and that would pretty much be it, but for someone who wasn’t great at music, that was harder than it sounded. 
And it sounded pretty bad. Johnnie would never have said that directly to your face, but if you had turned around and watched him in the back corner, you would have been able to see him slightly grimacing whenever a chord sounded particularly bad. He wasn’t judging, necessarily, he remembered very well when he had been playing the exact same way, and if he felt anything, it would just be sorry for you because he could see on your face how frustrating the chords sounding incorrect were for you. After about ten more minutes of this, he stopped playing his own guitar, quietly watching and listening to the chords you were attempting to play. He listened to a couple shaky renditions of them, and attempted to play them on his own instrument. 
As soon as he did, you turned around, noticing how he froze as soon as your eyes were on him. 
“No, go on. Please. That’s exactly what I wanted it to sound like. How did you do that?” 
Taking a leap of faith, he got up to move across the room, pulling a chair up next to you and reaching his hands out. 
“May I?” 
You handed him the guitar, nodding, intently watching the way that he adjusted it on his lap before beginning to play it again. 
“You’re not pushing the strings down hard enough, and your fingers are too far away from the fret. That’s why it sounds so… that’s what you need to fix for it to sound a lot better.” 
You laughed, gently taking the guitar back. 
“Sounds so bad, it’s okay, you can say it.” 
He smiled, a blush gently dusting his face. 
“I wasn’t going to say bad. I was going to say buzzy but I felt that might be slightly insulting.” 
You shook your head, taking his advice and focusing on repositioning your fingers the way he had instructed. Strumming downwards, a smile broke out on your face when the first chord sounded so much better. Confidence boosted, you moved to the next one, wincing when it sounded worse than the original. His kind expression didn’t disappear, and instead he moved closer, a question in his eyes before he spoke it. You attempted to hand the guitar back to him, assuming he was going to ask to hold it again for a demonstration, but he quickly cut you off.
“No, keep everything where you are. Can I touch you?” 
You couldn’t deny the fact that your heart was racing. Despite your opposite styles and aesthetics, you had always found the style that Johnnie wore incredibly attractive. It wouldn’t fit you the way that it did him, but it looked so damn good on him, and apparently, he was oblivious to that fact. You wouldn’t have called it a crush at first assumption, but maybe that’s exactly what it was. You hide those feelings, throwing on a cocky look and smiling at him. 
“What exactly are you asking for?” 
He stammered in defense before noticing that you were smiling at him, and the dusty pink that had been on his face now turned a much darker red, and he just shook his head, looking back down at the guitar, refocusing. However, you thought if you were going to be getting closer to finishing this project, you were at least going to have a little fun while you were at it, especially with such a pretty boy right in front of you. 
“Don’t worry, I’m just messing with you. I’d say yes regardless, though.” 
His head snapped back up, an unbelieving laugh slipping out of his lips. 
“You can’t just say things like that.” 
You smiled at him, motioning for him to continue what he was doing, and he did. He moved around behind you to adjust his arm on the guitar as well, and gently moved and applied pressure to your fingertips before telling you to try strumming it now. 
“Why not?” 
He shook his head, instructing you to test out the chord again before replying. 
“You just can’t.” 
The chord sounded wonderful in comparison to what it had sounded like thirty minutes prior, and you were so grateful for all of Johnnie’s help. His head was right next to yours, a gentle smile on his face, a little bit of pride, and a lot of blushing prompted your next question.
“Can I kiss you instead?” 
He turned his head to stare at you, nearly wide-eyed, shocked with the realization that this wasn’t a dream, it was actually happening. This time, he didn’t hesitate to reply. 
“Yes. That you can do.”
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slut4satoru-blog · 1 year ago
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Parent-Teacher Conference—Toji Fushiguro-Zenin. +18 CONTENT MINORS DNI
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a singledad!Toji fic to fill my empty heart. i’m a slut for toji and i hope you guys are too. making this a 3 part series! please enjoyyyyyyy. 💜
content warnings: f!reader, AFAB, tiny kabedon, height difference, healthy age gap (6 years), trying my best to keep body descriptions to a minimum, hickeys, sex toys, marking, jealousy, slight possessiveness, oral (f!receiving), tiddie sucking <3, fingering, edging, public use of sex toy, pet names, and whatever else might had slipped my mind.
word count: 2.2k
*✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚: *✧・゚
It’s been a busy 2 weeks with the PT conference being tomorrow. I have 0 time for myself. There’s two places I’m always at, either at school teaching my students or at home grading and preparing student reports. The end of the 10 weeks is always a mess. At least I teach High School, and my kids are so good they help me with the stuff.
There’s always a few students from each class that volunteer to help organize and store papers and that has helped me for sure. Like whenever Nobara, Yuuji and Megumi from my 10th grade class stay after school every Tuesday to help me out. They really are the best and I 100% could not survive without them. Talking about the kids, Megumi is really special. I’ve literally taught him since middle school, and it’s kind of funny because when I first started teaching him he would accidentally call me “mom” sometimes, his cute little face always made me smile. I remember when his mother passed away and I attended the service, it was the first time I saw his dad.
Toji Fushiguro, what a sight to remember. He was one of those people I knew I would never forget about. Year after year, conference after conference Toji and I’s friendship grew closer. Of course, always formal since he is my student’s dad. But there’s always a part of me that dreams of it being more than just that. The way he would slightly touch my hand with his fingers, acting as if nothing happened. Whenever he says “Hello” and puts his hand on my waist as he brings me in for a hug. I swear, one time that man was as hard as a rock and he just acted so normally. His tall, muscular build haunted me in my dreams.
Every single night, I would dream about him ravaging me in different positions. The way he would eat me out, fuck me senseless. I would imagine how he could roughly handle me and just how good he would feel inside of me, leaving me clenching around my fingers as I tried to satiate the need for his cock. However, every single morning I had to remind myself that it would never change. At least that’s what I always thought.
I decided to get up 1 hour earlier and get myself ready. Since today we had no class and I wasn't going to deal with any cooking, I wouldn’t have to wear my go-to chef uniform. Rummaging through my clothes, I decided to wear a simple emerald green and black pants suit, along with some 2 inch closed platforms. Also, I took the opportunity to wear some makeup and style my hair since I rarely got the chance to do so in school.
Once I arrived at the Jujutsu Technical School campus I quickly went up to finish setting up my lab to greet the parents and guardians of my students. For each parent student teacher conference I would have the kids make something for their families so they could snack as they picked up the grades for the quarter and discuss some details with me. They all decided to make some cake pops and they looked adorable. Some are movie themed, others by colors and even by aesthetics. Kids these days, am I right? When I finished everything I decided to sit patiently at my desk and wait for all of the parents to arrive.
Not to my surprise, Toji arrived first. I could sense his presence even with me being against the door. His sultry, silky and sinful voice decided to greet me. “Hey there Ms. _____. It’s been too long since our last encounter.” I turned my seat around to face him, getting startled as he was way closer than I anticipated. His hand went for my arm, sliding one finger over my bare hands. “Hi Sir, it’s a pleasure to see you get here so early. As you know, Gumi’s sweets are at the left corner of the table. You can grab the cake pops he made you and Sumi this time. He worked really hard on them.”
He looked at the table, walked up to it and got his and Tsumiki’s bag and returned to my desk. He shoved the sweets in his pocket and plopped his hands to either side of my desk. Trapping me in to smell his fresh, clean cologne. “I was thinking of doing some experiments. What do you think? Megumi tells me about everything you guys do in this class. And, it gets me thinking. Are you as fun in bed as you are in the classroom? I’m sorry Ms. ____ but I know I’m not the only one that feels this tension.”
He stopped for a second, eyed me up and down. Taking one of his hands and moving it to my chin as he lifted it up to continue his sermon. “I‘ve seen the way you look at me. How your thighs clench whenever I tease you. I’m not blind you know? And you’re not hiding it now either.” He took his eyes off of mine and dragged them across my body. I could feel his intense stare burning through the fabric. Starting a fire in my core that would soon become too hot to control.
“Sir, this isn’t right… Anyone can come up now and see us like this. I work here, I don’t want to risk that for whatever my body feels like. I can deal with it later. This is wrong.” I tried to believe the words that came out of my mouth. We both knew i was lying about it not being right. We were both adults, he was only a few years older than me since he had Megumi at 16. We were only 6 years apart, so it wasn’t inmoral. However, there was something about this being too good to be true. I just couldn’t wrap my head around how things were happening.
“Can we try something? Please? I swear if you say no I won’t bother you after this.” He opened his black suitcase that he always brought to store all the papers us teachers would bring to the parents. Once it was open, he pulled out a weirdly shaped pink toy. I’ve seen this before, it’s called a love sense. He saw the way my eyes lit up to the toy and asked. “I figure you’re familiar with this, right? I promise I’ll behave if you’re a good girl.”
I stood up and walked up to the door. Looking at the empty hallways since the pt conference was 30 minutes away. “Am i really about to do this…?” I whispered to myself as I closed my lab’s room and locked it. I went to Toji, sat on top of my desk and responded. “I’ll allow this… experiment. But you have to promise not to go too far. This is my job, and I’m not willing to lose it because I moaned while talking about bread.” He laughed at my remarks and sighed beautifully, standing between my legs and wrapping me in his arms. I could feel his cinnamony breath near my lips as he spoke. “Don’t worry darling, this thing is nothing compared to what I want to do to you. Consider this preparation for what comes next.”
Without saying more, he leaned in to kiss me almost as if he was afraid of ruining whatever it is that we had these past years. His hands diligently went under my satin shirt, taking it out of the pants to grope my tits. “They’re so soft, I could drown here.” He whispered in your ears as he lifted the shirt up completely to suck on them, leaving cute little markings all along them. “Just wait till you see my ass.” I playfully dared him, ruffling one of my hands through his soft, black hair as i left one of my hands on the desk for support. Throwing my head back as he sucked my nipples with such expertise. It really felt like he was french kissing me there.
“Oh, please don’t stop. This feels so good.” I whined at him as I started feeling new sensations, I had never before felt so sensitive on my breasts. Maybe because of my lack of sex partners. It had been such a bad experience with none of my other flings getting me to orgasm. So frustrating I ended up stopping all together. I could feel his grin across my nipple as he slowly popped it as he let it go. “Time to see that ass babe, can’t wait any longer.”
He flipped me skillfully, carefully pulling down my pants & lingerie that I wore that day. “All wet for me baby? So nice and plump; you keep wrapping me up in your little finger, huh?” He took one of his hands and teasingly slid it across my slit. I shuddered; his cold, big fingers clashing against my hot plump core. He started to play with my arousal, slipping it up and down. Occasionally grazing above my clit as to piss me off. “Toji, please. We have 15 minutes until the parents arrive. Just fuck me already.”
“Fuck you? Oh no baby girl, you’ve got it all wrong. You see…” He stopped talking for a second, and I groaned when I felt his mouth on my clit. Skillfully eating me out like he had 1,000 years of experience. “My plan isn’t to fuck you now.” He planted another kiss on my cunt, tongue skimming all through my folds. “We‘ll talk about that later. ‘Kay sweetheart?”. With that he stopped, removing himself from my needy core and slipped the toy inside of me, filling me up instantly as a moan slipped through my teeth.
“Remember, this is connected to my phone. You better act nice if you want me to be nice.” He grinned like a man-whore and I enjoyed every single of it. He licked my thighs to “clean-up after himself” and then wiped it dry with some tissue I had laying around. After that, he walked to the chair in the back and waited for the classroom/lab to fill up with more parents.
“Hello, thank you all for attending today’s PT Conference. I’m Ms. _____ and as you all probably know by now, I’m your kid’s Culinary Arts elective course teacher….” I roughly explained the next 2 big projects the kids had to make. And how the Culinary Arts elective course was partnering up with the Science program to form a “Food Science” exhibition for the upcoming science fair. It was all going good. Actually, too good. I would eye up Toji every now and then but he was never looking at me, just looking at his phone. Mysteriously the vibrator was off for all of my speech. I was kind of glad, I didn't want to trip on my words or embarrass myself. However, things started to take a turn when parents started to ask to see me after class.
When Mr. Nanami, Yuuji’s foster dad, asked to see me after class. That was the moment I felt the vibration instantly turn on. It was slow, steady motions that started to relieve the tension I had going on. I said my goodbyes to all the parents, and when my lab was almost empty, since Toji refused to leave, Mr. Nanami went up to me. “Hey Ms.____ I was wondering if i could ask you something about Yuuji’s grades. You see, he’s having some trouble with math and since I know this course involves a lot of that i was wondering if you would be willing to tutor him. I would be paying, of course. It could be over at our home or we could meet up at some place of your choosing.”
I gave him a tiny smile, he was always so observant over Yuuji. “Of course! We can work something out. He always works my math out easily, I imagine it’s because I try my best to break everything down before giving it to them. Thanks for your concern on Yuuji. He’s a bright kid, he’s in good hands.” I put my hand on top of his to give him security, and in that instant I felt how the vibrator just jumped in velocity. It was hard, inconsistent and just random and all over the place. I contained myself from yelping and decided to shift in my seat instead. When I looked over at Toji there he was, man-spreading in all of his glory swiping his phone in different directions as he looked intensely at how my hand rested in top of Nanami’s.
Nanami ended the conversation shortly, handing me his business card that contained his contact information so we could set up the meetings and left quickly, not forgetting to wave at Toji at the end of the room. Toji stood up, and waved him a tiny goodbye as he walked towards me. Long, slow steps making small clacks across the marbled floor. He looked at his phone once more and swiped up, leaving the vibrator at the highest speed as I tried to shush the moans that escaped my mouth. Eventually giving in as i sat in my comfy chair.
“I told you I would behave if you were a good girl. But you just had to make me jealous, didn’t you?”
Masterlist
part 2, part 3
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