#like he's abusive and terrible. but also he is the way he is (as a villain) because of his little brother dying.

[tharizdun-03]

this is actually a fairly good example of shinji's misogyny too and how he reduces them to objects for his needs.

shinji constantly tries to reduce the women in his life into neat categories: a mother figure to coddle him, a sexual object to gratify him, or some kind of emotional crutch that exists only for his benefit.

he has difficulties handling the reality of women as fully fleshed-out individuals with their own agency, motivations, and complexities. instead, he wants them to serve roles that make him comfortable.

in end of eva, asuka flat-out refuses to be reduced to a function of his desires. she refuses to be an object, refuses to be forced into the role shinji tries to assign her for his own needs.

earlier in the film, misato even calls shinji out for looking to asuka for rescue when he’s in mortal danger.

there's a whole reason instrumentality is presented allegorically as a return to the womb. evangelion wants shinji to move forward, not retreat into a fantasy world where women exist only to shield him from reality.

we, as viewers, should not be rooting for asuka to meet shinji’s delusional demands. the violence he enacts on her is absolutely misogynistic, and it stems from an attitude he's had since the start (rewatch ep 8 and 9, but he also makes comments about misato in the first episode)

asuka’s role in this scene is that of a victim who asserts her personhood and is met with brutality for daring to do so.

what shinji wants from asuka is often how female characters exist to serve the male lead in some idealized manner. and here that expectation leads to frustration, discomfort, and even outright anger in the man when the women refuse to play along.

shinji is not a heroic figure. he’s hesitant, anxious, and sometimes just unlikeable. the original tv ending was more optimistic, trying to show how viewers (particularly young men) could grow beyond these harmful attitudes and become better.

then the end of evangelion shows an uglier, more hopeless scenario. we see shinji committing horrendous acts of violence, making it impossible to ignore his misogyny. shinji chooses to harm asuka and there's no excuse.

asuka suffers 4 betrayals against her body in eoe. the film begins with a sexual assault, she is then slaughtered, shortly after strangled, and then concludes with strangulation again. shinji is (directly or indirectly) central to all instances of violence against her.

asuka’s anger, her "tsundere" traits, are rooted in deep trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms. but even then, asuka is more together than shinji in many ways, and she fights her way back to a form of empowerment.

she reconnects with her mother’s presence within the eva, comes into her own strength, and literally battles until the bitter end. shinji, meanwhile, wallows, lashes out, and commits sexual violence. that’s the clearest possible indictment of his perspective here.

one of the best moments illustrating the show’s attitude toward this dynamic is also when rei defies gendo; her abuser. it’s rei finally rejecting the role of a doll, the ultimate display of refusing objectification.

gendo himself is a bit of a cautionary tale, what shinji could become if he remains trapped in fear, depression, and entrenched sexism. shinji’s attitudes -- his discomfort, resentment, and attempts to subjugate women -- could solidify into the cold, calculated misogyny of gendo.

if left unchecked, that is. and i like shinji, but not because he’s a good person. rather, because he’s interesting and deeply flawed. simplistic critiques that paint him as infp soft boy or cowardly miss the mark. his misogyny is central to his flaws too.

and evangelion is littered with terrible men. misato’s father neglecting his family, asuka’s father cheating and ridiculing his wife, and gendo exploiting everyone he can. all of them leave scars on children.

ofc gendo stands out because he’s a serial manipulator and abuser who wields sexual violence as a tool. he views asuka, ritsuko, rei, and misato as disposable objects. shinji is given every chance to do better than gendo yet we see echoes of that same mindset in shinji’s actions.

only when asuka starts valuing herself, coming into her own and shedding the desperation for shinji’s attention, does shinji violently intrude on her boundaries. when asuka calls him out for objectifying her, shinji responds with rage.

asuka’s growth is met with an attempt to reduce her back to an object, and when that fails, he literally tries to kill her. there are a lot of feelings going on in the film that aren't just misogyny, but it is still a reaction to her not serving his needs.

and asuka is consistently disempowered in the series through objectification. misato, kaji, gendo, even kensuke’s exploitation through voyeurism (the photos of her in her underwear).

by end of evangelion, shinji’s lack of empathy for the women in his life is a key point. the final scene, asuka’s gentle caress after shinji tries to kill her, should flip the initial assumptions we might have had about who’s cruel and violent.

Shinji sees sex as a way to "become one" with others, blending Misato, Asuka, and Rei into a bland, homogenized soup of women. But becoming one with others is not the same as actually knowing and being with others as individuals; a theme that comes back big-time in End of Eva.

[monstrousproductions]

Impromptu book club! What have you all been reading lately? Anything wonderful? Anything terrible? If you've been swapping presents this week, were any of them books? I got a lovely edition of Pride and Prejudice and the complete Sherlock Holmes short stories, as well as a copy of The Standard Life of a Temporary Pantyhose Salesman by Aldo Busi - a book I know nothing about but whose title and author name have already delighted me.

Currently Reading:

The Philosophy of Love by Rebecca Ryan, a surprisingly heavy rom com that manges pretty well as it balances a profoundly silly premise with some really strong character stuff as the female lead realises her ex was abusively controlling. I'm also relistening to Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke, performed by Simon Prebble, for the millionth time. It's still good, who knew!

Recently Finished:

The Sunless Sea by Erin Morgenstern - Badly needed editing, from a story level (there was no plot! Kind of a big deal for a book about storytelling!) right down to a basic sentence level (the line, "A dim light shone above, not bright" stands out as an example. You already said it was a dim light, Erin. I know it isn't bright. I'm beginning to worry you aren't, either.)

Gods of Jade and Show by Silvia Moreno-Garcia - I had so much more fun with this than I expected! The writing wasn't particularly strong, but it was a lot of fun and I liked the blending of 1920s Mexican culture with Mayan mythology. Could have done with a bit more pizazz for the 1920s stuff but overall, I had a blast.

Flatland by Edwin Abbot (audiobook performed by Kevin Eldon) - For a book about geometry, again, I had way more fun with this than I might have thought. I enjoyed the satire of Victorian society, but audiobook maybe isn't the best medium for a book that apparently includes quite a lot of diagrams.

Meet Me in the Margins by Melissa Ferguson (audiobook performed by Talon David) - Absolutely god-awful. No idea why I finished this. It fell into that pitfall that so many hetero romances do, of trying to have a protagonist who is simultaneously "sooo relatable" but is still a wish fulfillment. Cut to the protagonist calling herself "a whale" because she's... a US size 6 (UK 10) 🙄

Tread of Angels by Rebecca Roanhorse (audiobook performed by Dion Graham) - A tidy wee novella that makes me want to read more by this author. Dion Graham's voice is simply too delicious for words. I liked the world created here - essentially a demonic sort of wild west - and that it didn't outstay its welcome.

Binned Off:

The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson (audiobook performed by Kate Reading and Michael Kramer) - I know he has a million fans, but I couldn't be doing with that much guff about the magic system in the face of so little characterisation. Also, maybe he unpacks the whole "this group of people are naturally suited to slavery" thing later in the book/series, but I wasn't in the mood to give him time to try.

What about you? Anything you want to shout about - for better or worse? Tell me everything 📚✨

[jzargo]

Never has "you praise a male character for the same traits you hate a female character for" been more true than with how fans react to Astarion vs Minthara

[aikoiya]

Nah, it's chill.

Merry Christmas, BTW! I hope your years' been a good'n!

Anyway, this is gonna mostly be based on my hc of what happens to Dash after high school.

Dash After High School - If ya wanna take a look-see.

But the overall idea is that Dash's parents were abusive, but in polar opposite ways.

Whereas his mom, Freida, was negligent & a bit of a wino, his dad, Harvey, was a lot like how Dash is at school: loud, confrontational, & just an outright a-hole.

(Looking at the brief picture we see of the 2, I sort of see Freida as the one with money & Harvey as a bad decision she made. They have cash, but the guy was wearing a white sleeveless shirt &, I think, jeans. My guess is, he was a jock in school, but either his family was poor, he was disowned, or he burned all his family's money by making terrible business decisions. Either way, when I look at him, I see either a bum or a skinflint.)

Anyway, he didn't normally get physical with his abuse, but he definitely got verbal... & loud. But he would also push Dash to "be the best" & was never completely satisfied with anything Dash accomplished, who despite resenting him, also wanted to make his dad proud.

Thing is, dude is also stupid macho in the really bad way, as well as low-key misogynistic & homophobic.

Like, there's not agreeing with a person's lifestyle, but supporting their decision to live their lives & make their own decisions regarding said lives... & then there's the assholes who legitimately hate those who prefer their own sex to the opposite.

Harvey is the latter... Adores his baby daughter, though. (But then again, everyone loves Sarah. Including Dash. If that curly-haired little angel were put in danger, then even the strangely cowardly Dash would throw down with a ghost. Seriously, that little girl is the sunny spot in Dash, Harvey, & Freida's lives & woe be anyone who dare harm a hair on her adorable little head. She's like Shirley Temple meets Annie & I love her.)

The problem comes in that Dash is bi. (Technically, I hc him as bisexual, heteroromantic, but Harvey would exactly hear that last part before exploding.)

Basically, this, plus all the expectations & pressure put on him from not only his dad, but also the school, his mom's emotional manipulations & gaslighting, the fact that Dash really isn't doing all that great academically, the clock is ticking, & this little line from the literal first episode of Danny Phantom:

"These are the best years of my life. After High School its all downhill for me. How am I suppose to enjoy my glory days eating mud?!" Which, woof!

And, he was bound to only react in one of a few ways. It's just that the reaction he chose was to be a dick.

However, I think the reason that he targets Danny is partly the fact that despite how... peculiar the Fentons are in-general. Yet, despite that, Jack & Maddie are very obviously caring & love their kids to pieces. Sure, they're not perfect, but they love & support their kids & would do anything for them.

So... I think that at least part of it is that Dash is jealous of Danny. (Though, I don't think that's all there is to it.)

Also, Danny's just too much of a little snarkmouth, so I doubt that he only started cracking wise at Dash after he died & came back. Which, if so, then that most likely adds a bit to it.

But... & this part I'm not totally sure about, but it's possible... either Dash is p.o.-ed at Danny for trying to keep him away from his sister or...

He may have... a teeny-tiny bit of a crush... Possibly a hate-crush that shows itself in the form of "pigtail pulling." Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Now, this is honestly just based on what all we know of him in canon, so I very well could've misinterpreted things.

Sorry if any of this sounds bad, I like to get a bit experimental with my hcs.

I’d like to take a quick minute to talk about Danny and Groose interacting.

At the very first glance, Danny was instantly reminded of Dash. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t intimidate him, but when he stayed longer and saw how he actually acted, he realized quickly how friendly he really was. Groose was much friendlier and pretty clever. He’s watching his strength when interacting with others, and apologizes when he slips up.

If someone outshines him in some way, he doesn’t get upset and try to bully them, but instead he compliments them and often tries to learn from them.

From Groose’s perspective, Sky had warned him that the new member was a little freaked out since he’s never been to Skyloft, so he expected Danny to be pretty nervous. He didn’t fail to notice the fact that he was intimidated by him, though. It hurt a little, but Groose also understood that a height difference like this often startled people a little.

Then he started getting a little interested in stars. He told Danny about it, and it slowly turned into Groose learning a lot about the night sky from Danny. Next thing they knew, they’re friends!

[heroesriseandfall]

Fanon mischaracterization of the Drakes is how I end up making a post defending Tim’s parents from baseless fanon bashing only to immediately after make a post complaining about their canon parenting.

[yourlowkeyidiot3]

Salty rant v2

This is basically me angrily screaming about Ford again (wow what a surprise) to a wall (myself, my rotten brain and my blog) so feel free to skip this

Fuck it I'll bite

Gf fans when you tell them Ford had every right to be mad at Stan for ruining his Project (he saw it as the only chance to prove himself and get accepted in his dream school, and even tho WE know it was an accident, Ford doesn't he thinks it was a purpose sabotage and it really doesn't help that Stan didn't told him which resulted in him making a fool of himself Infront of ppl he wanted to impress and then Stan tried to pass it off as something that didn't matter even tho it mattered so much to Ford, like of course he'd be mad everyone would be mad in his position)

Gf fans when you tell them it's not Ford's fault that Stan got kicked out it's all Filbricks fault (seriously guys, blame the fucking abusive father, not the 17 year old living in an abusive household)

Gf fans when you tell them standing up against an abusive person (especially if they're your parent) is hard to do for yourself let alone for someone else

Gf fans when you tell them Ford wasn't the "golden/favourite child" Filbrick dgaf about him and only wanted to use his intelligence for money and both Ford and Stan were abused just in different ways (seriously find a different dynamic to describe an abusive household than "golden child" and "scapegoat" I say as I put a gun in your head)

Gf fans when you tell them Ford wanting to go to college isn't egotistical

Gf fans when you tell them Ford wanting to make a name for himself doesn't make him egotistical (he literally grew up in an abusive household, and was bullied and treated like an outcast for most of his life, him seeking out validation is a trauma response not egotism)

Gf fans when you tell them if Ford is petty for correcting Stan's grammar then Stan is equally as petty for refusing to hold his hand over a thank you literally seconds ago (of course he had the right to want him to thank him and be mad, but it was the END OF THE WORLD, they are both responsible in that scene)

Gf fans when you tell them Ford isn't ignorant for being manipulated by Bill cuz 1) Bill is a master manipulator who's managed to manipulate and terrorise humanity since forever using lies/flattery/fear 2) despite having a high IQ he has a low EQ and therefore isn't able to tell if someone has ill intentions due to being....an outcast and therefore doesn't have the social skills to be able to tell others true intentions/manipulations which made him an easy victim for Bill (do u guys even know what manipulation means)

Gf fand when you tell them the reason why Ford didn't try to reach out to Stan was because he thought he was doing fine since he had seen an ad of his on tv (he had no way of knowing Stan was still homeless anymore, and you don't usually see homeless people's ads on tv), not because he didn't care

Gf fans when you tell them Ford didn't force Fiddleford to do shit for him, and that he was against the use of the memory gun and wanted him to get rid of it but Fiddleford literally erased his memories of it so he could continue using it. And that therefore Ford isn't to blame for everything that happened with the memory gun just cuz Fiddleford had bad coping mechanisms. (Seriously you all are acting as if he pointed the memory gun on his head and forced him to abandon his family and build him the portal. No!! Fiddleford made those decisions himself he could had left Gravity Falls at any moment and return to his family but no he didn't, he chosed to stay and start a fucking cult. That is on him. Not on Ford)

Gf fans when you tell them the way Ford acted during the time where he was literally being abused, manipulated and isolated by a demon is way more complex and naused than "ego! ego!".. because he was literally being abused and manipulated...

Gf fans when you tell them the reason why Ford called Stan to hide his journals wasn't because he only wanted to use him as a way to fix his mistakes but because he was literally really desperate and feared for the safety of the world and he didn't have anyone else he could trust and that he was hella traumatized due to being literally tortured both physically and phycological and sleep deprived and on the bring of insanity (of fucking course he wasn't gonna act logically and say mean shit he didn't actually mean, he was losing his mind! Stan had also said mean shit to him because he was angry but nobody talks about that)

Gf fans when you tell them Ford being mad at Stan for opening the portal is understandable, because 1) he literally ignored all the warnings that the portal could potentially destroy the whole world and 2) he was literally about to FINALLY killing Bill after 30 years of fighting for his life in the multiverse to try and find a way to

Gf fans when you tell them Ford's trust issues are completely understandable because he was literally betrayed, manipulated and abused by the "person" he trusted the most (Bill). And the other two people he trusted did something that hurt his trust on him (Fiddleford erasing his memories, Stan ruining his project)

Gf fans when you tell them Ford's and Bill's relationship isn't "toxic yaoi/messy divorce!" And that it was incredible abusive and that FORD was a victim ( average gf fan claims they "don't romantize/support the toxic ((call it abusive guys, that's literally what it is)) elements of this ship I just like to explore unhealthy dynamics in fiction:) *proceeds to make 10 posts of "he fucked the triangle!" jokes and gets mad at you if you actually point out the abuse and makes 100 aus where they get back together/stay together*

Gf fans when I tell them that I really don't care about what Alex has said about Ford being "egotistical" or "ignorant" because that's also the same guy who said he didn't intended for Pacifica to come off as a victim of abuse because controlling your child with a bell is total normal parent behaviour guys (/s). (I stopped listening to most of the stuff he said after that, not gonna lie, cuz most of the stuff he says about Ford's "ego" and "ignorance" are flat out victim blaming) ((I mean come on guys, he literally says he based Ford's and Bill's relationship off REAL LIFE toxic relationships he's seen and then he goes and says shit like how it's Ford's own "ego and ignorance" fault that he's ended up in that situation. Don't you guys think that's a bit weird))

[dykesynthezoid]

“People only hate Marius bc they’re being selective about how they judge vampire morality, they’re all monsters” well if it makes you feel any better I still wouldn’t like him even without the grooming thing. Hope this helps

[heylittleriotact]

The only reason Emmrich isn’t a puddle of grief on the Lighthouse floor the way he should be in his non-lich resolution is because he cheated death - this time. He has a legacy in Manfred and makes peace with the fact that with training, Manfred will be able to care for himself when he eventually dies, but he only got here in the first place by fucking around with the natural order.

The playing field is still even in this outcome between he and Rook: they’re both mortal, and they will both inevitably die, but they may choose a life together that could be prosperous and joyful and all the other sentimental shit Emmrich has yearned for.

If he “accepts” Manfred’s death and becomes a lich, he does actually mourn him. There’s the banter where Davrin remarks that he heard crying coming from Emmrich’s room, which implies that he’s privately confronting those feelings of loss. Some people read this as regret, but I honestly think it’s grief presenting itself in a complicated manner for Emmrich.

Emmrich’s grief in this case is complicated because not only is he dealing with the emotional complexity of grieving a child who isn’t *technically* his child, but we’re adding survivor’s guilt on top of that, and the fact that Manfred’s sacrifice was ultimately his ticket to immortality.

That’s a-fucking-lot to unpack.

Is it any surprise that he’s weeping alone in his room when he thinks no one is around? How could ANYONE understand? WHY would anyone understand? So he hides it away and doesn’t even talk about it to Rook, his partner, and man… that is a slippery ass slope to some wildly unhealthy coping behaviours.

In real life you might see someone stuck in complicated grief become depressed, socially withdrawn, emotionally erratic, fall into substance abuse, self-harm, self-destructive behaviour, or suicide. Complicated grief is a bitch. Because remember - grief is vital: it is personal, but it is also communal, and Emmrich starts out his journey into lichdom by slipping into complex, isolated grief over Manfred’s passing.

So now instead of a regular person, you’ve got an immortal super-mage who can never die dealing with death TERRIBLY. This forms the foundation for his approach to death for eternity. Of COURSE he’s going to be insufferable to Rook. Of COURSE he’s going to take a holier-than-thou “be more careful please” stance without any thought to the staggering power imbalance that exists between them now.

It’s the most tragic, self-destructive ending for Emmrich, framed in a way that’s almost poetically cruel. He’s fucked himself, and he can’t un-fuck himself, and he has to live with that forever. He might be in denial about it for a month, a year… a century - but he’ll get there eventually.

You finally found the love of your life that you yearned for desperately for decades? You will smother them. Burden them. Shackle them unwittingly with your own shitty, shitty insecurity because even though you’re immortal you refuse to accept the natural order.

Regardless of which outcome you go with, Emmrich is in dire need of therapy. Luckily, as a human and not an immortal undead lich, he can do a lot less damage to himself and those he claims to love. But he really does need to work through his issues around his fear of death, his denial of mortality, and his insecurities in relationships, and I think if he stays mortal it’s more likely that in time once the world is saved and he and Rook settle down, he would be open to addressing those things - or hell he might even identify and work on them himself because he’s got the support of his partner - his EQUAL - who will stand by him and help him navigate things however they can.

Lich Emmrich though? He doesn’t feel like he *needs* to. Rook is no longer an equal, they are someone to be cherished and protected like an exceedingly old and rare edition of a book. They lose their personhood in EmmLich’s eyes and eventually become a possession, which should disgust him and he’d deny it vehemently but it’s true.

This is very rambling and badly worded and I’m just spewing random disjointed thoughts without any real point, @aldisobey I really loved this and how insidiously sweet it was. It’s just perfect. Thank you for writing it 🤍

Fuel to Fire

AO3 Link - Fuel to Fire

A gift on this eve! Finally got it to a point where I don't mind sharing. Emmlich content, come get some Emmlich and Rook angst. It's got comfort and warmth and I've been with it too long just take it before I start hating it again. Tagging @emmg you asked for it! (oh yeah and the title is just the song I listened to the most, it's how I'm naming things because eugh naming things how). Technically part two in a series, check out Nascent Blight if you need more.

Word Count: ~3k

Relationship: Rook Thorne x Emmlich, M/M

Full story below because why not

Emmrich paced the room, green flickers of his skull mixing light with the soothing glow of the water’s reflection on the ground. Rook sprawled out on the divan, head back on the armrest, eyes closed, and rubbed at his temples. Peeked a moment at the towering necromancer gleaming soft in the muted room.

“Rook.” Emmrich’s stern tone made him squeeze his eyes shut. The lich ceased pacing and stood near the small table at the center. Hands folded behind him he faced the waters. “That was reckless.”

The Warden was still coated in lingering blight from the Wetlands. He’d meant to clean up and go celebrate the Eruption’s destruction on return to the Lighthouse, but it was all he could do to drag himself here. He could still feel the echo of it. Too close, too much.

He gripped his head, pressed hard as he dared to drive away the thrumming recollection of whispers. Thank whatever luck graced him it hadn’t…his hands dropped. One to the ground, the other his chest. Their pressures had provided no relief. It would fade, always had, should have stopped when they burned the thing, but something of it’s nature let that damnable echo persist. That or a head injury, he’d taken some hits.

He sighed. Slowly opened his eyes and turned his head to glance at Emmrich’s back facing him.

“Had to be done.” Equally stern in a quiet way, exhaustion clear.

“You might have left the matter to Davrin.” A resounding voice. The folded hands clenched, then released, flicked to the side as Emmrich turned round to fix Rook with his hollow stare, “Or Evka and Antoine, or any number of other Wardens in Lavendell.”

“Emmrich,” Rook responded more softly, slowly, but kept firm, “I had my reasons.”

“And?” The skull tilted, frustration snipping, “Were those reasons worth it?” Emmrich gestured towards Rook, everything said in that tone and movement. Today had not been easy for the rogue. Taash had to half carry him back.

“Yes.” Grumbling, he swung his legs off the divan, sat up properly to face Emmrich’s accusations. “They were.” He straightened his back and squared off his shoulders, suppressed the pulse built on his forehead with a heavy blink. “Look. I brought Taash because they can burn whatever comes their way. And I brought you because you’re undead.”

Emmrich twitched, almost imperceptibly, at that. Rook might’ve missed it had his attention on the lich been less than absolute, but the movement sent his stomach falling. He bit at his tongue and rushed on.

“We got the job done alright? Lavendell can thrive. Everyone safe.” He rushed the words. Kept them short. Folded his arms. He might’ve looked petulant, but the wear of the day was too loud. Holes in the sleeves, tears on the sides, slash on the leg, all red stained, all healed flesh below, but memories of wounds. Everywhere.

“Darling. What about you?” Emmrich’s voice shook, seeing more than the evident physical. Undead eyes exposed a roiling of lingering red pain whispers, swirling confusion, exhaustion like a leaded blanket.

“Hmm? I’m already blighted, it was no concern.” Rook shrugged, doing his best to appear at ease. Brush off the worry, confirm the wellness of the situation. They were here, they were whole, they…

“Enough.” A snarl of exasperation, Emmrich stepped closer, seeming ever taller as he approached, “Davrin would have joined us had it been no concern. You brought Taash.” There was finality in the words, a stillness as the simmering anger evened and burned with purpose, “I was there, Rook. Your Warden friends were quite clear on the danger that Eruption posed to you.”

Rook grimaced, rubbed his hands, felt over callus, cut, and bruise. It hurt. He added pressure, focused the pain there.

Emmrich was right of course. The lingering pounding in his head was testament to that. What if the Eruption had sparked something? It felt safer for Taash to be there with their fire. Why put more than one Warden at risk? How many was it if not him? If not Davrin? Thoughts roiling he shrank below that green gaze burrowing into him feet away. Rook realized then he’d gone slack jawed, unable to think of an acceptable excuse. But no. He had made the right call.

He snapped his mouth shut.

“Fine!” Rook growled and stood using the armrest with a stifled groan. Patience worn thin after all the drumming in his skull he put his hands to his hips when he reached his full height and glared up at Emmrich.

He didn’t shout, but matched the steaming frustration, “I knew it was dangerous for me. Alright? But I had to do it.” The words came out through grit teeth, biting back the desire to escalate.

Emmrich drew back. Not a step, but into himself. “Dearest...”

“No, don't dearest me.” It came out like a hiss, and Rook leaned the smallest degree forward, “The Grey Wardens need every last person after all this.” His hands flailed out, gesturing vaguely to the world at large, “After Weisshaupt…” A breath found him. The fury caught on his tongue. This shouldn’t be so hard.

He cleared his throat, kept strong, “My jobs done once we’ve killed those gods.” His hands returned to his temples for a moment to steady himself, applied pressure to calm the beat. The blood flushing to his face couldn’t be helping.

Rook gave his head a shake and looked askance, maker how did a skull appear sad, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Unable to face Emmrich in that hunched posture before him. Bent, mourning, pathetic…no, Rook swallowed. Not that. The necromancer didn’t stand alone. The lean was enclosing him, protective. He dared a glance forward.

The lich stood draping the Warden in shadow like some gilded ribbed vaulting. And Rook, an insignificant supplicant come, with soft flesh aching, stinking of blight. Before a cathedral.

“Davrin’s got a book in the works!” He sputtered before he forgot all of the pieces reinforcing his decision. “Antoine makes such things?” Because it had been the right decision, “Can you imagine things if left to Evka’s hands?” They would all flourish after he did his part.

“You think I’d risk a single one of them?” Voice a hushed whisper of desperation. He couldn’t bear it.

No. The gods died next. No one else.

Tomorrow. His mind kept at a furious pace. A last check on Lavendell. Then Treviso, the Crows had word. He could feel cold sweat on his neck, they might have a location. Almost there. Not much longer now, almost safe, and all at once his legs went weak. Rook sank, barely controlled, back down to the divan. He settled with elbows on his knees, hands holding his head, and stared down at the floor. Could feel welling in his eyes, blinked it away.

“Rook,” Emmrich’s voice was slow, the gentle echo of a creek; water over stones as it traveled through him, “I’m sorry.”

Sincerity. Rook could feel it. Feel his nerves still at the serene appeal, “You carry the weight of every decision. Don’t you?” Not a question, a declaration, and in hearing it, so firmly spoken, Rook quaked.

“You were exemplary today.” Finally. A shuddering breath, a tiny lift, that voice of praise, a warming balm.

“My love,” The words sank deep past the skin, something in the tone kneading them firmly within the chest, past bone and into heart where a soul might sit, “let me help you.” Rook sniffed, didn’t trust his voice, dipped a nod once. Emmrich extended his hand, gestured towards Rook’s head.

Movements small, close, Rook leaned in, but then gave start, bit his lip, froze, “..wait.” He still needed to scour, make sure every speck of blight was gone, that could take awhile for hair.

“That’s of no concern.” Emmrich smirked.

Rook looked up as that comforting palm settled soft on his head. Peered past the linen, memories flashing of that arched brow, those lidded eyes, and met a crowned skull, flickering flame. He’d heard it in the tone.

His eyes went wide, tight pain gripped his chest. That was the cost wasn’t it? But then, he felt his heart beat. There was that…the desire...ever since…

'Rook’s Necromancer. An excellent subject to test how long one could go back and forth between life and death.'

Rook blinked at the perfect, beautiful, loving undead skull staring back at him, the whisper of hope escaping from dreams and solidifying here and now.

“You’re safe.” Rook choked out the words.

Then collapsed. Gone so limp he would have fallen from couch to floor had Emmrich not anticipated the movement and dropped to his knees to catch him in his arms.

They dropped together a moment, Emmrich’s arms a cushioning guide. And once stable, once still, he lifted, held the trembling man close, and carefully settled down on the divan with him. The Warden, for his part, was all snot and tears, clinging to the lich’s robes. His arms wrapped tight around the ribcage as he pressed close as he could.

"Emmrich, it can't…” His voice and body shook, words closing off in the shudder of relief.

Emmrich cradled Rook as tight as he dared, a soft hush drifting from him as he brought calm in his firm embrace. There was no measured breathing to guide the man hiccupping into his cloak, so Emmrich purposefully rubbed Rook’s back in the rhythm of a breath, and with a few extra movements green sprites darted from his fingers. All at once sound was still and calm around Rook’s hearing, and then began the sigh of trees, wind through leaves, in measured cadence to help level the rogue’s racing heart.

Rook almost felt a cool breeze on his skin same as he heard it, and the glow of water and flame mixed like light through the leaves to his eyes. He sighed, then lifted his head, buried it beneath the lich’s chin, felt his final quivers fade as a hum traveled in waves through the bones embracing him, back and forth, kissing skin where it touched, a fleeting doting touch. The beginnings of a smile and easy breath came to him at last.

Emmrich’s voice sounded quiet around…in…where his head lay. The traveling hum returned deep and pleasant, warming the skin where it passed. “My love. To think…you worried over me, to such...” Disbelief mixed with adoration, Emmrich’s voice eased its way into Rook’s waiting ears, pure love. The lost words saying more than any uttered.

Rook was steady now, melting instead of shivering, he clung to that genuine smile dawning on his lips, he could have this at least. They couldn’t take this. Rook tilted his head up to whisper to the air where Emmrich’s throat might’ve been.

“I love you.”

He put his head back down as he felt both of Emmrich’s hands move up to massage his scalp. The room was incandescent with green, the necromancer’s palms the epicenter of the glow. Focused. He plied at the Warden’s head. His movements were rhythmic, the magic alive with a pulse and rippling at his direction.

Rook could feel the echos become sated, the answering ebb of the necrotic channeling a path of release, carrying the riptide tight and rebounding in his skull back out to sea. Ease and push, gentle waves of magic and fingers worked the movements with Fade and physical, gently towing that ache out from the Warden’s skull.

Rook yawned, almost a thrum while in Emmrich's care, “Of course I was worried.” And he stretched in small movements, “You immortal fool.” His voice was low, pining, enraptured by the fool he entrusted with his care. Emmrich didn’t reply, his voice occupied in the ending incantations. Otherwise they kept in silence, the soft green glow encasing Rook’s scalp continuing to pulse, dancing with the shimmering from the tank.

“Darling,” when Emmrich's voice finally graced Rook again it sent warmth flashing through him, “I’m safe.” A rolling delight, the aches and pains losing hold, Rook groaned, toes curled as every muscle seemed to tighten, and hold. Then release.

The magic dimmed. Rook breathed heavy, then slow, then measured, calm. Almost asleep.

Emmrich sighed, his voice an echo that resounded through the room. He took a long laborious moment to take off his crown, and with utmost care placed it on the table behind them. Then, barefaced as possible, spoke gentle, the deep echo private now, tumbling only to the Warden’s ears, “But, Sir Thorne.” He looked down at Rook, tilted the man’s face to look up from where it lay on his sternum, kept his tracing fingers there, touch yearning. “You are most unsafe.”

Rook felt his eyes go hot at the words, if only because Emmrich’s couldn’t, and he could hear the despondent tears held in the lich’s tone. He tried to look away, but that meant leaving that soft touch on his chin, he pressed down into the palm instead.

“I’m sorry.” he twisted his head deeper into the hand, whispered the mumbled words into Emmrich’s thumb. The thumb traced Rook’s lips a moment, but seemed distant, moving further away.

“Those are words, Rook.” Emmrich’s hand withdrew, Rook looked up, sensing the gravity in the next words had been stressed by absent touch. “Please. If only out of love for me. Take more thought and action towards your safety?”

Rook gave the barest of nods, mind rebelling against the gross hope of self preservation. He nestled back down and away from the skull’s sight. Emmrich’s voice grumbled in old exasperation, his hands moving to cradle the Warden’s skull and massage along his neck. “If you remain so determined to put your life at risk I’ll have no choice but to drag you to the deepest tombs of the Necropolis. Seal you there until you develop a modicum of sense.”

“That a promise?” Rook’s voice surprised them both, and had Emmrich been able to feel heat his hands might have burned from where they held Rook. So quick and fierce was the flush on the man, so immediate the reply, it came without thought, driven by something deeper.

He could feel the lich’s fingers dig hard into his skin. Maker he really did want...The skull was staring up and away from him now. But Rook could hear the words resound in his own chest, “Don’t tempt me.” A low rolling warning, like thunder from a storm still away. But Rook could sense the ache, felt his heart quicken at what some choice words might lead to, felt the barest tremor in the hands holding him, but then they were gone. The storm gave way to trickling laughter at the thought.

Emmrich moved to extricate himself from the divan, took extra care to settle Rook comfortably in place. Hummed away the lighthearted mirth as he stood free and took off his cloak, gently draped it over the fading Warden, “Seriously, dearest, you mustn't jest.”

Rook held tight to the lich’s cloak and burrowed into it, buried his face deep in the lapel as he muttered half asleep already, “Don’t tease, you started it”.

He yawned. Felt warm, eased his mind to think of falling quiet, but the shiver of dreams crept up at him. The Fade always awaited, didn't it. Rook bit at his cheek, blinked an eye open to peek out from beneath the cloak. Emmrich was still there, though his back was turned to him now, he had taken to quiet pacing again, fish in the tank following as he glittered in the pale light.

“Emmrich.” Rook whispered.

“Hmm?” Emmrich paused midstep, fish paused midswim.

Rook stifled a chuckle, overcome at that moment with overwhelming adoration. He could ask this, a beaming smile hidden beneath the cloak, eye twinkling from beneath the fabric he muttered, “You once comforted me by saying the lich lords were, ‘Unlikely to visit your slumber’.”

Rook mused, calling back to that first time, that first terror. Emmrich had been so excited to share, so animated when explaining, the first time Rook heard the word ‘Lich’. Ice had taken Rook’s veins then. Fresh terror, new fear, but what emotion did he know better? And what a blessing it could be? His blood ran cold. Something deep in his gut warned him, but he ignored it. Looked long at the lich before him, fish following Emmrich’s concerned sway, and let the prickling sensation thaw, there could be warmth here, “Is that…something…you could do?” He finally asked.

“Oh.” The lich seemed to stand taller, an edge of excitement to his tone. “I hadn’t the time to consider it.” He started towards Rook, came to kneel at his side, put a hand on the cloak where the man’s shoulder lay, head tilting in question, “Would that interest you?”

Rook poked more of his head out so that his lips could be read, voice a hush, “Maybe…if you can, just uh check in?” He swallowed, “That song, it's in dreams…it’s worse…” Emmrich’s hushing tones cut off Rook. One hand going so far as to pull the cloak back up to cover the Warden's mouth and tuck him in.

“My love, speak no further. Sleep. Nothing will dare trouble your dreams.”

“Thank you…you know you can troub…”

“Another time darling. Please. Rest.”

Eyes closed Rook could hear the smirk again, felt a heaviness settle in his limbs, swore he was already dreaming when he heard the warmth in the immortal’s voice holding him, was that a lullaby? And sleep took him.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

[mumpsetc]

The Thing About Mephone is He Has Always Had a Sadistic Streak Towards the Contestants, Something That Hasn't Changed Even as Recently as How He Treated Suitcase in Ep 15. There's Been a Deliberate Effort to Draw a Parallel Between His Actions and Cobs and I Think Dismissing It Because He Was Abused is a Huge Waste and Flattens His Character Out.

[prouvaireafterdark]

I personally don't think season 3 will or should be Lestat writing his own book. First of all, because of the abuse, I sincerely think any Lestat POV also needs another party present to call him out and not just let the audience assume his side is the truth, otherwise it will seem like the show is implicitly taking the abuser's side of the story (especially after how it framed Daniel's role in digging through Louis's story). Either he will show up to the penthouse and continue the "interview" framing or he will tell his story to Louis so both can be there to hash out what happened between them or something of that sort.

A straight up Lestat POV where he gets to paint himself as the victim would be pretty gross after what we've seen him do honestly and honestly why would the audience take anything he has to say seriously?

Okay I'm gonna be really honest here, unless Louis and Lestat's reunion has already happened and/or he's in a coma in the basement, I have no idea how people expect him to crash the interview at this point. Like it just does not make sense to me that he would just magically appear like that.

Honestly, I would much prefer that Lestat skips the memoir part and becomes a famous rockstar after reading Louis' interview and asks Louis to meet him with his song lyrics/media exposure so he can tell Louis his story himself before the San Francisco concert because that means we get maximum Louis. If Daniel is there to call him out on his bullshit, all the better, but I do want the story from Lestat's lips because the comedy of his narration is just too good to pass up. I've waited 15 years to hear Lestat describe himself with his own clown mouth and I hope season 3 doesn't disappoint.

Also, I just want to mention this because I feel like when people talk about Lestat there's a tendency to think about Lestat discussing his trauma as him painting himself as the victim and it really grates on me because two things can be true at once. Like, Lestat isn't the victim in his relationships with Louis and Claudia, obviously, but he absolutely was a victim. He was horrifically abused and neglected by his family his entire life growing up and was abandoned by every person he ever loved, even his own mother after he saved her life by making her a vampire bc she never wanted to be his mom (or a mom at all) in the first place. He is profoundly fucked up because of these traumatic events and they have a direct relationship to why he was so abusive to Louis and Claudia. Like he's probably got every trauma-induced personality disorder in the DSM-5 and literally cannot regulate his emotions or make himself stop being terrible until Louis hits his hard factory reset button and gives him an intervention by making him rot in the dump for a while so he's forced to think about what he's done.

Does that excuse any of his horrific behavior? No.

Does that mean he shouldn't have to atone for his bad decisions and the pain he's inflicted on other people? No.

Does that mean we should take every word he says as gospel and cast suspicion on Louis and Claudia's narratives? No.

But that doesn't mean every word out of his mouth is a lie either, and honestly, it's not like Lestat ever says "actually, every bad thing Louis and Claudia said I did was a lie because they're liars and I was a perfect father and husband and they tried to kill me for no reason." He fully admits that Claudia was right to kill him and that it's the kind of thing he would have done himself.

And like, in order for there to be a cycle of abuse, one has to first be abused. That's just how it works. And I don't really get why people are so set on erasing Lestat's traumatic history or viewing it as an either/or situation where only one of them is allowed to have been a victim of abuse and that if Lestat is allowed to talk about his abuse in season 3 he's by definition excusing his actions and challenging Louis' narrative.

I feel like part of the point of Anne Rice's work is that these vampires are, all of them, extremely monstrous AND deeply traumatized. They are both victims AND victimizers. It's what makes them so compelling and nuanced. I don't understand why some people want Lestat to be a cartoon villain with no redeeming qualities or path to redemption, and I also don't know why people seem to think that a season 3 from Lestat's perspective can only mean that the audience will not be asked to question or interrogate his perspective the way they've been asked to with Louis and Claudia in season 1.

Like, after everything they made Lestat do in season 1, if you're genuinely worrying that the writers are going to say "none of Louis or Claudia's trauma happened at all and actually Lestat was a perfect, sad angel the whole time who was unjustly wronged by Louis and Claudia and this is something you, the audience, are meant to uncritically believe because Lestat bat his eyelashes while he said it," I literally don't know what to say. It sounds ridiculous because it is.

There's just no way they're doing that and I think everyone should take a breath and stop stressing over it.

[morningmask27]

i am not sorry for the Carmine reblogs, she has fully taken over my brain at this point.

A mixture of her being so unhinged and neurodivergent that it feels like she was made for me to like her and her very unfortunate dynamic with her little brother make her a character that I was just made to get attached to.

I want to study her under a microscope and get her help with the Kieran stuff, I want to make things worse between the two siblings, I want them to blow up at each other in a way that will make them unable to reconcile, because she failed to do everything right for her brother, because he took everything so personally and lashed out, because the two just can't fit together nicely, they're just not made for that. no matter how hard she tries to be a perfect sister, no matter how much she cares about him, I want things to go so wrong between the two. I want the pain to be so gut-wrenching it tears them appart.

but I also want them to reconcile; in another world things could be saved. carmine could recognize the way she acts hurts her little brother that she loves so dearly, she could try to reach out to him and be better, and he could accept it and they'd be able to rebuild things together.

it's a tale of two siblings that struggle to coexist. Carmine's technically the one in the wrong because she hurts Kieran, but she doesn't intend to. she struggles to realise how he feels an just tries to do it her way because she's the older sibling and knows best. she loves him and wants only the best for him, that's why she made the player lie to him, but it backfired alomst immediately.

she failed and that's the real problem. now let's hope that the Indigo Disk lets them reconcile (in a satisfying way)

[indi-glo-archive]

the young royals fandom is so fucking weird about sara and i hate them for it

[picture-ofnectar]

sorry but I love the Izzy “dangling my legs over the side of the ship” scene because like. he’s literally right. it DOES serve him right.

Ed was deeply heartbroken but coping healthily until Izzy got in his head & made him feel like all he deserved was destruction. Ed TRUSTED Izzy, and this person who he felt knew him & saw him & cared about him essentially confirming in his view that he doesn’t deserve good things and only has worth as a monster— that being soft was worse for him than being dead— made him feel that he truly was unloveable and shoved him over the edge into the Kraken persona. plus Izzy ASKED him to be violent! he grinned when he cut off his toe! the beginning of s2 is Izzy realizing that a. Ed is not actually happy as Blackbeard and is in fact destroying himself and b. Izzy himself has grown to care for this crew in a way he didn’t realize he had and maybe actually has some human empathy. and doesn’t want them to be brutalized. which I honestly don’t think he had a handle on before it was too late & he’d already set them up for this level of violence. and also clearly he did NOT know Ed in the way he thought he did! he didn’t realize he cared about the crew like that, but he also didn’t think Kraken-Ed would be that intense. he thought that horrible pep talk was what Ed needed to get back to being pre-Stede Blackbeard, not realizing that pre-Stede Blackbeard was a facade Ed was already deeply unhappy and insecure underneath, but also failing to comprehend (or even notice) the extent of Ed’s trauma and lack of self-worth and the fairly obvious (to anyone who actually knew or understood Ed) fact that telling him those things would shatter his very fragile belief that he deserved these tenuous but brave attempts at taking care of himself and trying to become who he wanted to be. Kraken-Ed was not who Izzy thought he would trigger when he gave him the talk, because he didn’t actually know or understand him like he thought he did. & that’s what he’s coming to terms with in s2 and it is a wonderful arc! lots of people have written fantastic metas about Izzy & his motivations and the complexity of his realization that he didn’t know Ed like he though he did & wasn’t close to him like he thought he was so I won’t bother to fully go into that here as interesting as it is. but like.. he asked for violence & he got it. he didn’t have a good handle on his own feelings about the crew/piracy and he evidently had zero handle on Ed’s (he is masterful at suppression but isn’t emotionally intelligent enough to be able to tell Ed is too), and while yeah it was Ed’s trauma and whole brutal career as a pirate and this glimpse at a different future and Stede’s betrayal all coming together to cause Ed’s eventual breakdown, Izzy’s talk is what made him give up and pushed him overboard into the Kraken era. he convinced him he was worthless if he wasn’t a monster, & in doing so unleashed that monster onto himself and the crew. he taunted the shark and lost a leg. I don’t think there’s anything unhealthy about him framing it like that— he isn’t suppressing his feelings about it or pretending it didn’t happen— he’s just processing & accepting the truth of the matter. when Lucius says Blackbeard cut off his leg and Izzy says “a shark did this”, he’s acknowledging it wasn’t really Ed who shot him, but a violent, hopeless, actively suicidal caricature of Blackbeard, a monster Izzy helped create. Izzy isn’t Ed’s victim— they’re an eye for an eye now. and I’m glad he acknowledged it like that

[pekoeboo]

crying because i'm thinking about the Nuance involved with my characters and their backstories and the complexities of good intentions vs selfish behavior causing harm to others and i CANT EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS via art or writing. HOW are people supposed to know how complex and deep these characters are if i dont draw or write it out tho!!!!!! ugh

[lucyskywalker]

Raiden Ei stans on Genshin Impact are literally insufferable.

Taking the fetishist people on ZhongChi and Wriothesley x Neuvilette and another LGBTQ couples as well.

These famboys/girls of Ei are easily top 1 most insufferable people in the community.