#like he knows it's giving her an excuse.
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commsroom · 1 year ago
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hi there, long time listener first time caller. genuinely i love your blog sm, everything you say about hera brings me so much joy.
anyways, what’s eiffel’s favorite ice cream?
hi, thank you so much! that means a lot to me. ♡
eiffel's favorite ice cream... hm. once zach said eiffel's favorite ice cream would be cotton candy dippin dots, and i love that answer. other than that... i think he likes 1) sugar, and 2) novelty. eiffel's not a same flavor every time guy; he's mixing scoops of bright neon flavors favored by children and then covering them in toppings. he also likes coffee ice cream, of course, and he doesn't think you can go wrong with chocolate. even better, combine those, too. he likes ice cream sandwiches, and the deep fried ice cream you can get at fairs. as long as it isn't trying to be fancy or healthy, i don't think he'll turn it down.
... there's also a non-zero chance that cigarette candy put the possibility of cigarette ice cream in his brain. that guy's taste buds are broken. love him so much.
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turtleblogatlast · 8 months ago
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Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in
Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#note these are veryyy much for my own art so by all means ignore this completely for your own unless it resonates#these are just my personal headcanons#I’ve been getting more and more fond of the turtles having tails - especially Raph whose design honestly feels more complete with one#I also am now attached to Donnie having a long tail too because 1) he looks cute with one and it really works for him and-#2) I LOVE giving the Brains and Brawn duo more stuff in common#I could write an essay about how many things Brains and Brawns duo has in common in general#but also portal duo as well!!#we already know that Mikey and Leo look a LOT alike#so I think it’s cute when Raph and Donnie have stuff like that in common with each other too#like how canonically Donnie’s sclera are on the yellow side like Raph’s#anyway I’m sorry if this is a random post I am very tired and still have not slept#ALSO yeah i wanted an excuse to doodle April it’s been too long i missed her#I’m excited to finish this comic up to show the OTHER reason I gave Donnie a long tail#I made this in like five minutes because working on my comic was not working out#also Draxum totally has a tail he’s a sheep#I lean away from Mikey and Leo having longer tails mainly because their designs are already so busy#with all the colors and shapes present on them#so to me longer tails kinda takes away a bit#meanwhile Raph and Donnie are more monochrome in comparison so I feel like tails only help them?#I think as well Donnie’s torso/carapace being on the shorter side makes a tail balance him out#(me trying to justify the visual gag im putting into the comic for literally only two panels)#didn’t draw the caseys because I am tiredddd#and they would have just ended up where April is anyway
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theroguequeen · 8 months ago
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I know daemons short hair era is deeply loved but there's just something about his hair and braids at the stepstones that always gets me like it's giving battle, mess, blood, fire, make up sex, dirty fingers wandering over rhaenyras body, being out of his mind while knowing exactly what he is doing and I am still feral about it so here's a little throwback
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nostalgia-tblr · 2 years ago
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Right I'm not saying Odin's not had a terrible amount of colonialism and war going on over his however-long-it's-been reign but when Thor wants to lay waste to Jotunheim and Odin tells him off for this it's not just hypocrisy at work, because the Odin of the timeframe of that movie seems sure that this would be Wrong not just politically bothersome and yet he also doesn't really explain to Thor why things are different now and putting that together what you have is this: Odin can't explain his own apparent change of heart without revealing that "oh yeah your brother's a Jotun," even though he must be fairly sure that this information would stop Thor's xenophobic bloodlust in its tracks as effectively as it did his own.
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ceiling-karasu · 15 days ago
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For Valentine’s Day, I have Nayeon's grandfather contemplating a romance between Nayeon and Jollin.
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spacedlexi · 7 months ago
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Kenny and Violet anon here YES.
Violet is upset because someone she defended against her found family of 8 years let her get taken by brainwashing adults for 2 seconds and everyone flips their lid.
But Kenny refuses to stop a train, and gets into a whole fight with Lee over it (AND REFUSES TO HELP YOU FIND A LOST LITTLE GIRL WHILE YOU’RE FIGHTING OFF AN INFECTION, where as Violet always defends you in Episode 1 regardless of whether you ignored and/or antagonized her or not), and gets mad at an 11 year old for not being able to handle helping someone in labor by herself and everybody’s like “Nah it’s okay, his family died years ago so he gets to do whatever he wants.” as if Violet didn’t witness one of the only consistent family members in her life die in front of her 💀
There’s so many comparisons I could make and one day I’ll make a Venn Diagram about all of their similarities but for now I’m glad someone pointed this out.
there are some things kenny does that have No excuse (like refusing to help bitten lee look for missing clem all because hes mad you didnt side with him enough. leaving lee to singlehandedly save himself in the pharmacy because he got scared. threatening to slap clem for blaming herself for lees death. off the top of my head). but his behavior on the train is annoying yet understandable. he doesnt want to admit his son is dying and he feels like duck dying in the first place is his fault for not saving shawn. you can convince him to stop without things getting physical
the Problem comes in when people can understand and sympathize with kennys annoying/shitty actions, but when it comes to violet (who has the same "my family is dead and its made me bitter and closed off" backstory (and her whole arc is about learning to love and care again)), suddenly all understanding goes out the window. even tho shes not even a FRACTION as annoying and shitty as kenny can get 😭😭
violet is mean to clem for the One scene where youre introduced to her (ignoring your first moment with her in the courtyard where shes smiling at clem so you already know her shitty attitude later is a lie. louis even defends her. wingman lol. and depending on what you say in response to her you can Immediately see the regret on her face LOL). but before the scene even Ends shes complimenting clem and clem loves it. then youre forced to talk to her and tenn about the twins, you have a nice card game where you can joke around with her, then she shows up at the dorm and they have a nice heart to heart about how theyre BOTH struggling with the loss of people theyve loved, and they can sympathize about both being harsher than they intend (THEY GET EACH OTHER CANONICALLY)
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and vi not being "a people person" is a huge part of her arc?? she doesnt like that shes like this 😭 but shes also better with people than she gives herself credit for and its why she makes a good leader. (and even if you pick the "came off strong" option clem is OBVIOUSLY teasing about it but vi cant tell and gets defensive ("its not like im trying to be bffs or whatever. sorry" is so "you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid" of her)
and then after this shes never mean to clem again?? (unless you antagonize her but even then its mostly just about her standing her ground and not taking shit she doesnt deserve. which is fair). shes only mean to brody while fishing (and shes mean to brody because deep down she blames HERSELF) and the whole POINT of that scene is to try and mend their broken relationship which immediately makes vi a happier/nicer person if you do (also interesting how louis doesnt get any shit for His behavior while hunting 🤨 no hes just cool and fun). violet also apologizes for being "weird" in the dorms the previous night as well (bby girl why are you afraid that everything you do is weird 😭 she says that word a lot)
violet will Always have clems back (in EP1 and 2!!) No Matter What you do or say to her. i think people take her loyalty for granted. so if you dont save her in EP2 and expect to continue to have her unwavering loyalty in EP3? thats a You problem. she is Fucked Up mentally on that boat by lilly and her not-exactly-ex, and then gets caught in the explosion she didnt want anything to do with. AND THEN SHE APOLOGIZES because she recognizes she was WRONG
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(not her literally trying to make a joke about it to ease the tension 😭 people dont give her credit for also having a sense of humor. like louis is the only one who cracks jokes around here) but again when it comes to kenny his actions are understandable and defendable even without an apology 🙄 i literally side with kenny on Everything except the larry thing and if you dont make the right dialogue choice with him? he will not help you look for clem. because of larry 😐 i killed your son for you bro and then took care of his walker doppelganger so you didnt have to. and this isnt even touching his behavior in S2. and yet despite everything he does hes still one of the most beloved characters in the fandom 🤨
i just have to remind myself sometimes that all vi options were made 53-61% and the vi haters are a loud minority. her always being above 50% is so interesting to me because i love when choices are split perfectly 50/50. but the way the fandom talks about her (and the women in general) you wouldnt think shes technically the more popular option (and i Hate playing the popularity card its so annoying, but im only doing it bc people also say shit like "maybe if vi wasnt so mean more people would pick her" they DO pick her!!! you just got mad she was mean for 5 seconds, never payed attention to her again, and used her determinate reaction on the boat as justification for not liking her 😑) (also ignores how mean louis gets in EP2 regardless of choice?? but like kenny His actions are defendable and sympathetic and hers arent 🙄)
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I gotta know if emma-may was into the whole death-robots thing
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itsybitsybatsyspider · 7 months ago
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Hey so I've been *eating up* your TDP au and I looove everything you've made for it!! (The fact that I've finished season 6 yesterday is not helping aaaaa)
May I ask if Valka joins the party? Is she around?
AAAAAAA thank you thank you! Im so glad you enjoy it! It is my current brainrot and i have so many ThoughtsTM about it
And Valka is around......somewhere...... in Xadia.......
When she still lived in Berk she believed that peace was possible with the elves and dragons and did everything she could to convince anyone that they were not bloodthirsty monsters they had to fight. But of course no one believed her.
And so when she got taken by a dragon, after defending it and saving it's life during a raid, she figured that maybe Berk was hopeless and decided to stay in Xadia. (is this a flawed decision?? oh 100%. This action will have consequences in the future ;D)
And now 18 years later, she lives in the Uncharted Forest, helping and healing injured creatures and dragons and giving them a safe haven to reside in. She doesn't get many visitors, mainly because of the boundary spells that are set around her home, but she does get visits from her Sunfire elf friend who drops by from time to time to fill her in on things and ask for her help.
Recently though he's been trying to figure out what's been causing a corruption in the creatures of the region, and asked for her to keep an eye out for anything strange. Aside from that, the only other news Sandy has to share is that there's been a Sunfire elf terrorizing Berk. How strange. :)
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brofightiscancelled · 2 months ago
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ok kind of an insane ask so feel free to ignore but would you be able to translate "友達バリア" by deco*27? i can't find any translations online and i wanna see if i'm right about the song kind of fitting the matsus... it's also a banger imo
- vocamatsu anon
omg.... tbh i have a feeling deco will make a video for this one which means we'll get an official english translation of it, rendering this completely redundant, but i'm really cheesed to have been asked, so i gave it a shot for you anyways <3
youtube
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
The despair of never getting anything more of this Your behavior, nor what's going on in your head- I can't read it at all! I can't help but envy the kindness you radiate Omnidirectional compatibility- it's just not for me
Carefully-picked down-played words The outcome: A bloody heart True feelings double-crossed by embarrassment; how frustrating, I'm changing sides But that won't fill up my heart What I want is nothing more than to be by your side If you've got something to say, then say it- 'til I defeat you, that is! 3, 2, 1!
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown I'm outmatched- but it's not over yet! I won't let this end! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
I want you to like me! I want you to like me! Friend-zoned, love fire, hey, say "I give up"! With a dazzling, never-give-up attitude, I'll break through your defenses!
Fun things, good feelings- without you, they have no taste at all Sadness, jealousy- if they're cuz of you, then I don't mind them Let's throw down, bro! Better to regret doing it, than not doing it at all! A feeling like I won't need any special moves, YEAH I'm sure everything will be OKAY With an endless supply of love, you're undefeated, AYE Play dead, BYE BYE I'll be the one to throw the first punch
Friend-zoned, love fire, sparks flying HIBANA We're ready, set to lock horns, love's ultimate showdown The lonely and timid me is already no more! With a dazzling, blazing flair, I'll burn through your defenses!
Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!
Do you like me yet? Do you like me yet? Friend-zoned, love fire, now, let's immerse ourselves in love! With a dazzling, blazing flair, a never-ending HAO sweetener battle!
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my notes:
my overall interpretation of this song is "I'm trying to break through the friend zone (friendship barrier) so that you like me instead of thinking of me as a friend", so any vagueness in translation went in that direction
The use of "lock horns" in the official translation snippet + the HAO motifs give me the mental image of like, a hand-to-hand kung fu battle, so I leaned towards that imagery whenever there was vagueness (as opposed to like, a military campaign, for example)
deco's official english translations tend to be very liberal, so i tried to keep my translation a little more literal
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#translation#i dont really like the use of 'friend-zoned' for the official translation of this#in general deco's english translations seem to favor localizing over keeping original meaning which i usually support wholeheartedly#but i feel like their en localizations sometimes lack a colloquial understanding of how these terms come across to english speakers#like the Vibe. i dont know if they grasp the Vibe#like on the surface 'friend-zone' seems like a reasonable localization for this concept#(Actually why is the localization the adjective form? shouldnt it be the noun? tomodachi barrier = friend zone? well anyways)#term for when you can't advance a platonic relationship to a romantic one + the term 'zone' is often used in fighting and battles#but colloquially i feel like this term has more of an Incel Connotation#due to its use being most popularized among men who see women as a prize they can win if they put enough effort in#+ its usage furthering the underlying expectation that women should date a man because he likes her regardless of how She feels abt it#of coures i know this is not the literal definition but again. the colloquialism. the Vibe. i really value the Vibe in localization#it gives off more of a pathetic desperate entitled vibe than a determined lonely feisty vibe which is what i personally got from the song#but vibes are subjective of course and dependent on one's personal experience#and who knows maybe that IS what deco's going for. i may very well be missing some japanese colloquialism as well#anyways as to if this fits the matsus.... well. they dont really have any friends in the first place do they#except totoko who repeatedly and easily beats them in hand-to-hand combat#i guess it could be atsutodo if you were full of whimsy#(suddenly coming back into the room) BY THE WAY I HATE HAO#I THINK HE'S TRYING TO DO THE THING WHERE HE JUST MAKES UP WORDS/MEANINGS BECAUSE IT'S THE KANJI IN SUKI#IT'S JUST AN EXTREMELY COMMON CHINESE WORD AND HE'S USING IT IN WAYS THAT SOUND SO DUMB AND WEIRRDDDDDDDDD#“a never ending HAO sweetener battle” <- WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE HAO HAPPEN? DONT PISS ME OFF#IM LIKE PRETTY SURE HIS TRANSLATOR IS EN/CN/JP TRILLINGUAL TOO SO WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE HERE#anyways thank you for the ask. mwah. i hope u enjoy this
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kulvefaggoth · 1 year ago
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Nidhogg did go a little overboard with his vengeance we agree on that... but damn i think it kinda sucks that Vritra didn't try to kill Golbez even a little bit after what he did to Azdaja.
I know he's basically a pacifist and tries not to incite violence and it's not fully IC but i kinda wish he took an arm off Golbez or something. That dude got off scot free for all the shit he pulled.
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shannonsketches · 8 months ago
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lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament
#i do#do you think he noticed it upset her twice in a row and was like 'oh I haven't earned the trust back yet i'll retire this strat'#'it's fun to scare people but i do not like my wife being scared we can put this one up on the shelf for emergencies only'#because like bulma can consciously trust him and I'm sure she does but one can still have The Fear if you've seen your spouse relapse befor#And he probably thinks it's very amusing but it is also almost certainly very not funny for her no matter how much she trusts him#and the next arc is Trunks and she's so worried about the way he left she ignored the PDA rules and squished him when she saw him alive#Because Geets determination can be self destructive when it comes to Bulma and Trunks and he killed himself to protect them once before#and knowing how connected they've been for so long some part of her probably Knew he would opt to stay behind and die like he was going to#And I love the idea that between those two events and all of the things Trunks tells him about Bulma during the GB arc Geets has to really#really be confronted with how loved he is -- and it's not that he wasn't aware before but knowing she even missed him at his worst#and loved him maybe even before she was pregnant -- means the cruel part of his mind can't make excuses for why she stayed with him#I also like to think that being confronted with the idea that Bulma is still scared for him getting his worst wires tripped#wouldn't be offensive to him. Knowing he's still got work to do if his wife is worried about those things happening to him again#is just proof that she loves him with his flaws and was still thinking about it and supporting his recovery when he didn't#even notice he was recovering -- which has always been true of her -- and now he has the chance to support her recovery in return#and being in a place where he can still put that work in to make her feel secure in his priorities is a privilege and a gift#and man I just really like how casually comfortably close they are in Super's manga I love them a lot they worked so hard#to make each other feel safe and secure for the past decade+ that it's Easy for them both now and they're SUCH a confident couple#and I am once again shaking the anime by the shoulders WHY didn't you give us that they are SO the team's Mom and Dad in the manga#until Goku riles Vegeta up -- then Piccolo is the team Dad. Bc Piccolo is the team Grandpa aksjda The Z-Fighter's locker room judge#dbtag#vegebul#putting the whole essay in the tags again oops#happy pride i am gay for a whole married couple
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shadowedvales · 1 month ago
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jane does not accept sara hopper’s hair tie as a gift from jim, and not once does she wear it around her wrist. people often get the impression that because of her sheltered upbringing, jane is dumb, or doesn’t understand social cues, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. once she finds out about sara, about how jim lost her, she would come to understand that’s why he was so protective of her in the cabin, why it became toxic and overbearing. she doesn’t excuse his behaviour, but begins to understand it. she understands that he was projecting his dead daughter onto her. after she’s recovered from closing the gate, and he offers her the hair tie, she gently places it back into his hand, saying “i am janessa. not sara.” it’s important she starts growing into her own person, that she stops wearing hand-me-downs and that she definitely does not wear something his biological child owned. jane asks about sara a lot because she wants to get to know her in her own way, she wants to see photographs and hear stories, but she does not ever want to be her. jim is not her father, jane is not his daughter. they both come from broken, fragile families, and have made a new one with each other, but should not be replacing the ones they’ve lost.
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sharkstatic · 1 year ago
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you!! show me your ocs (pretty please)
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OFC <3 oh man where to even start
i have about 22 active ocs i rotate lmao about 10 of those have fully developed story/background/personality
these are all ones i dont think ive posted much or at all but these are some of my fav designs/concepts:
memphis honey- catboy extreme, magic user, very loose morals, carved those symbols into his own skin before his scheduled execution so that noone could bring him back once dead. once took over a cult in order to blow it up.
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diamond- legally a tattoo artist for powerful demons that would usually heal up tattoos and piercings. illegally most other things. that collar is very literally keeping their head on.
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sixgill- very very very old sixgill shark. she lives in the deep ocean and protects an ancient evil and also the ancient evil's baby son. 27 ft tall.
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dishi- 7ft tall super buff spirit medium and compulsive liar. a romantic but has the worst taste in men youve ever seen. sees ghosts, demolition expert. this is specifically him while possessed which happens more often than hes comfortable with bc the Veil Is Thin around him, hes like personified halloween
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fangfei- sir thats a whore ass bitch. cloud dragon. their style can be summed up with 'cheap and gold'. had to fight their twin to the death at an early age. mommy issues. doing coke in the bathroom about it.
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:D they are all fantastic i love them ty for giving me an opportunity to spit them all out on here
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floralovebot · 9 months ago
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helia is obv meant to be androgynous and bishounen but I get why people would think he was designed to be a woman initially because his name is a woman's name actually. helia is a girls name. also, compared to avalon or other long haired characters, he's also somewhat more different.
I don't think it's too far fetched. some language groups like greek fans could have other pov. in latin american spanish his name was changed to helio for this very reason.
i know his name is feminine. that still means nothing tbh
sky is a popular girl's name in the west. does that mean he's automatically a girl? like no of course not. no one is arguing that sky is a woman just because of his name. griffin is a masculine latin name. don't see anyone questioning her. if his name is the Only proof people have that helia was meant to be a girl, that's weak when other characters also have feminine/masculine names that don't align with their canon gender.
also, you need to ask yourself, what is different about helia? like actually answer that question. what exactly makes helia different from characters like palladium, valtor, or avalon. it's not his body - helia has the same muscular body the other specialists have and he's one of the few male characters we see shirtless on screen. it can't be pacifism - he's not a pacifist and pacifism is not a feminine trait. it can't be art or poetry - neither of those things are feminine traits/hobbies. it can't be his fashion - he's just wearing a shirt and jeans. if anything his wardrobe would be considered more masculine compared to the crop tops the other specialists are wearing (even for the time). it can't be his personality - nabu is also wiser and gentler, timmy is also a simp, brandon is also caring.
so what exactly makes helia different from other long haired male characters?
nothing. that's your answer.
the only thing that makes helia So different is that other long haired male characters are often coded as white Or specifically have darker skin, so fans don't feel the need to question their masculinity (which is a Whole other discussion). helia is not coded as white. even fans who don't consciously realize it are still picking up on that coding. these white fans then feel comfortable questioning his masculinity because they've done that to men of color for decades. it's not just asian men either. white people love to question the masculinity of all men of color, regardless of race or skin color. that's how they demean them. how they separate them from white men. they uphold certain racial and gender stereotypes and then demean any man who "doesn't fit that". which in their eyes, is all men of color.
it's like this: man of color doesn't adhere to western/white/european cultural standards > white people realize, don't like, insult them, and try to make them feel like they need to adhere > white men prioritize the patriarchy and feel the need to glorify it > in order to insult men of color, they specifically call out and question their masculinity > white people around the world think this is genuinely innocent because it focuses on gender instead of race > white racists get away with it
listen, i know at first this seems like a really harmless and maybe even amusing topic. "oh helia is so pretty people think he's a girl ahahah". and for some fans it is genuinely harmless. they just think he's too pretty to be a man. and then they realize, laugh it off, and don't question it again.
unfortunately, that's not the case for a lot of other fans. it's not innocent. it's not harmless. it's white people picking up on racial coding and questioning his identity because of it. you guys don't do this to other characters. you don't do it to sky, who also has a "feminine" name. you don't do it to palladium, who is slimmer and has a gentler, nicer personality. you don't do it to saladin. or nabu. or ogron. or gantlos. or anagan. or tritannus. or nereus. or king neptune. or king teredor.
all of those names are male characters with long hair.
i know it's nice to assume that this is innocent and genuine. but unfortunately, that's not the case. this is an example of something that isn't innocent for a majority of adult, white fans. even if they're not doing it On Purpose. subconscious bias is called that for a reason.
#and i do want to clarify that i dont see an issue with kids doing this#like its specifically Adult fans i have an issue with#because they should know better by now#also like has it ever occurred to anyone that helia having a feminine name was them adding to the shojo androgynous vibe#like.#givelian from the comics.. gregory.. holly dark.. king nobody..#literally a dude's name is HOLLY dark and no one is questioning him alkdlga#please im begging you guys give it up#nothing about helia implies that he was meant to be a girl#the name excuse has always been flimsy#also when people say this argument makes no sense because helia is white because his name is greek#like do you guys think musa is an asian name#stop.. just stop.... for two decades fans have discussed this and no one has gotten closer to proving that he was meant to be a girl#and im sorry but when other characters have the exact same attributes that helia has that people Insist must mean he was#it just makes it more obvious when you never talk about them too#like griffin is a masculine name! why not question her femininity?#sky is a popular girl's name! why not question his masculinity?#you never do this to other (white) characters so why do the same qualities mean anything for helia?#also anon to be clear when i say you im using that in a general way i dont mean You specifically#answered#also i know this is long and i want to clarify that im not mad at you or anything#i dont know if any of this sounds mad but#im just soooo tired of this rumor its so dumb aljdghaljg#and when people make an innocent mistake its Fine#but after this long most people doing it are not making an innocent mistake#its on purpose#after this many years.. after so many other long haired male characters.. its not innocent unfortunately#certain (ie white) fans tend to target characters of color like aisha musa nabu etc and helia isnt an exception#even with his racial coding being somewhat ambiguous (at least more than others) people can still tell he's not white#and they treat him accordingly
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tinylilvalery · 2 years ago
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What's interesting about witnessing the shift in Tom and Shiv's relationship, is that for the first 3 seasons Shiv got to live in comfort of being her father in the relationship. She was in control. She was the emotionally detached one, keeping Tom at a distance from her inner vulnerable self like her father does to her and her siblings, despite Tom always appealing to that side of her, bearing himself and wanting that intimacy. She held all the power, and in holding all the power she felt secure that she wasn't going to be screwed over (like her dad did to her mum) and abandoned (like she felt her mum did to her). She could escape the fucked up divorce her parents had by being the embodiment of power (her father),,, which, like a lot of children of a messy divorce, she wanted to avoid such a thing for herself at all cost, and pride herself on her marriage and choice of partner instead of getting help for the trauma and damage she'd carried since childhood. Shiv was safe. She was secure. Like her dad, she had her own dog to kick to test its loyalty and feel secure and reassured every time that dog came back to her side.
But then the dog did bite back. Tom did betray her. The man she viewed as beneath her, all worshipping, and in her eyes nowhere near as smart as her, outplayed her and betrayed her and won over the approval of the very man that she'd been emulating. And now she's not her father. She's the last person she ever wanted to be. She's her mother. She's the one on the receiving end of Logan through Tom, making the divorce messy and difficult and painful by using the same tactics he did with her mother, something that gets to her easily and makes her extremely upset to the point where she's verging on tears. Tom is the one at Waystar + ATN. Tom is the one saying "uh huh." To her.
She thought that she could escape her mother's fate by being her father. By being cold and distant and emotionally closed off. By being the one who kicked the dog. She let her trauma and fears rule and guide her into making decisions and behaving in harmful ways (to Tom and herself) that she thought would protect her and never let her be hurt. And none of it worked. Because despite it all, she became her mother.
#became her mum in context of the relationship*#Shiv Roy#tom wambsgans#tomshiv#failmarriage#like ultimately her downfall was how the trauma of her parents messy divorce impacted and ruled her without her even being aware#because she was taught by Logan that emotions are a weakness so you better not get emotional about anything#you better repress all that shit and act like it doesnt bother you#let your subconscious cauterize itself till you can't hear it but you just let it rule you#and so cos she didn't sort of her shit (none of the siblings have and neither has Logan) she was ruled by this trauma#cos thats what happens when you have trauma and you dont sort it out#it lead to her being an asshole to Tom#because in her eyes her getting to be the emotionally absent partner that cares less for the other is more safe#she's in control. she kicks the dog.#and it calmed her subconscious and made her feel safe and at ease#not taking into account how that would wear Tom down over time#esp when Tom had someone like Greg at his side. like i fr don't know if Tom woulda ever betrayed Shiv if it wasn't for him having Greg#basically in short jus cos you're traumatised doesn't give you excuse to be an asshole to others to feel good and safe#it just means you're continuing the cycle#and people can argue that Tom knew what he was getting into in regards to loving her#but she also coulda put a stop to the relationship at any time. she chose to continue it and dish out on Tom#and took his love for granted#anywayyyyzzz#i love Shiv i love Tom#and it's sad#but consequences for actions and all that#succession#succession hbo
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