#like having barely any of them all season made up for the amount we got in the finale

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[maybeiwasjustjade]

The High King theory truly makes me ill.

And knowing SJM and her obsession with making certain characters superior and/or have some kind of divine right to rule, I know she’ll try to make it happen at the expense of literally everyone else.

Moreover, I don’t see how it can happen without a major war. They just got out of 50 years under Amarantha, I doubt the courts are itching for another incompetent warlords’ attempt at HK/HQ.

Who exactly would bow to Feyre and Rhysand? The High Lords meeting showed that barely anyone tolerated them, nor did they have any actual allies that wasn’t Helion. And I doubt Helion would be so forgiving when he finds out about Lucien. Tamlin and Eris would never, so they’d have to die. Neither would Tarquin or Kallias agree, so that’s a given war with the Seasonal Courts. Dawn would stay neutral, or end up the rebel court. It really is the only toss up.

And even with Gwydion (which rightfully belongs to Nesta alongside the Trove) as some kind of divine symbol, feysand genuinely sucks at ruling. Conquer Prythian—yes, conquer because the other HL would never submit if they asked nicely—when they can’t even rule or play nice with their own people. Enough with the HK dreams, Amren; Rhysand would be lucky if Illyria and Hewn City don’t band together soon to stage a massive uprising.

(Y’know I’m not surprised nobody in the IC can empathize with the CoN citizens. They were all trapped in Velaris for fifty years, where they were free and the sun still rose. Imagine if they’d been UtM with everyone else; maybe then they’d get it. That life where even the sun and trees and anything worth living is out of reach at the whims of a dictator is no life at all.)

And I’ve seen theories floating around that the HK plot is set up for Nyx instead, because he’s destined to inherit all seven powers of the court. Yeah, that’s equally terrible. Divine right to rule and conquer is bullshit. Balance is something that should exist but doesn’t in Acotar. If it did, Feyre wouldn’t be as powerful as she is. 7 drops is not a lot of magic; so tiny and miniscule that each HL didn’t even really notice they lost it. It doesn’t make sense that she could go toe to toe with them with just a singular drop.

Which is baffling when the same author wrote ToG. Everything that was given was scraped together and fought for miserably, and even in all that power, they had to sacrifice so much. Aelin Settled and got her kingdom back, but at the price of losing almost all her fire and getting to keep one drop of water. Dorian still has most of his magic, but at the price of being made a demon slave, committing fratricide, and having the sole responsibility of redeeming his kingdom ala Zuko. Manon fulfilled the prophecy and united her people, allowing them the chance to return home for the first time in 500 years. All it took was losing the Thirteen, who would never see that dream come to life.

Nothing came without cost.

And while yes, Feyre deserved to be remade after her death saving Prythian, the amount of magic she wields is the issue. Nesta having so much magic made sense given she stole most of it; we have yet to really see how much is left. But where’s the balance if Feysand does end up HK/HQ, or Nyx does. What have they given up that makes them more worthy to rule the entirety of Prythian than literally any other character? Because I can argue that they’ve lost a lot lesser. Whatever rights feysand believes they have is no more than a lot of other characters.

And the bloodline of Theia? Yeah, I’m pretty sure the important ones are her female descendants, like Bryce. And Bryce gave Gwydion to Nesta for a reason. If SJM wanted me to believe Feysand was the best choice, she should’ve made Nyx be born full Illyrian. Or better yet, mostly High Fae but with no magic. That would’ve been a much more interesting story to follow, given that Nyx might not be the next inheritor of the Night Court. And what it would mean for the Hewn City. She’ll never do it of course, but it would be fun.

[spdrvyn]

better than snow: MIGUEL O’HARA

summary: have a merry christmas morning! you're groggy and experiencing a mild headache, but it's all worth it especially when you walk into the living room only to see your munch of a boyfriend.

fluff. suggestive. in typical vyn fashion, this is late YAHOO but merry christmas to everyone! i hope you all enjoyed your holidays because i very much did hehe, this fic is inspired by this fanart so go check it out! merrily we fall out of line out of line

You were a merry mess.

There was no such thing as partying too hard, but you thought that you'd never actually reach such a feat until last night. Hell, you didn't even remember falling asleep on the bed.

Don't get anything twisted, you had a lot of fun with Miguel and "coworkers" last night. That's what he liked to call them anyway, you know for sure he wouldn't invite regular subordinates to his home with you to have the craziest Christmas party known to man.

The tanginess of the copious amounts of whiskey you had was still on your tongue, your eyelids still weighed down by the very little sleep that you got. The sun wasn't entirely up yet, orangey hues barely visible through the blinds of the room.

You shivered as the cold hit your bare legs, these were definitely not the clothes you fell asleep in either. You looked down to see a t-shirt that very well reached up to just above your thigh, it was only safe to assume that you made a huge mess of yourself previously and even safer to assume that Miguel would save you by changing you into one of his shirts.

The choice of clothing isn't even necessary, you have clean shirts, but Miguel likes seeing you in his clothes so you weren't going to complain. Besides, it smells and somehow feels like him.

That didn't really help the fact that you were freezing, Nueva York and its deadly temperatures during winter season. You dug through the closet to find big enough blanket to carry, you weren't insane enough to drag the whole comforter of your bed around the flat.

When you entered the living room, the soft crackling noises of a fire the first thing you heard. Each piece of confetti, liquid, and dirty surface had then been wiped clean.

Though, that wasn't the only detail that had you baffled.

The moment your head turned, you could feel your heart stop beating in your chest, your breath slowing down, your blood run cold. Miguel was right there and he wasn't wearing anything else except for his briefs, you could see everything.

Smooth skin, a toned stomach, massive arms shielded by nothing, and the trail of hair that goes down to his even bigger—

"Merry Christmas," he uttered, you nearly choked. Right, right. He's in front of you. Shirtless. No! Act normal, act natural.

"Uh, Merry Christmas." the need for your little blanket lessened even more, this sight was enough to warm you up for the rest of the morning nay rest of the day. Your eyes moved to the mug in his hands that was still steaming hot, he reached it out to you in a silent question if you wanted any but you declined with a shake of your head.

With that, he gulped down the rest of his drink. As he set the mug down on the table, he gestured for you to follow him to which you immediately followed. He sat you down on one of the armchairs, his eyes raked over how you looked now. Bed hair, fingers clutched onto the blanket for dear life, flushed cheeks that you probably didn't know you had. Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.

He grabbed a present from the Christmas tree before it's presented to you, you tried to study the stern look on his face but if there's one thing you knew about Miguel, it would he how good he was at hiding how excited he was.

You unraveled the present to be met with a language book on how to speak Japanese, you noted the way two slips of paper bookmarked a specific page and when you opened it, you were delighted.

Two plane tickets to Tokyo, Japan and when you read the page that they were slotted into, it's how to say "I love you" in Japanese.

愛してます. Aishitemasu.

Your heart swelled, when you looked back to Miguel, he had the softest smile on his face.

"I'm going on leave for at least a week, we leave in two days."

"Oh, Miguel— this is—"

Unable to find the words for exactly how happy you were, you couldn't do anything more except grab him by his shoulders and kiss him breathless. Passionate was an understatement, you acted as if you were going to steal each breath from his lungs to which he'd let you if you truly desired it.

You've never received a gift this big before, never gone a trip with just you and another person. This is a first time experience for you and you're more than happy about the fact that you're going to be sharing those future memories with Miguel, you wouldn't choose anyone else over him.

When you separated, you both panted into each other's mouths. Miguel had you pushed you back into the armrest, the blanket too close to slipping off your ahoulders.

"I don't want to spend a moment away from you," he took one of your hands and pressed a chaste kiss to your wrist. His other hand slithered down to your lower back now to your bottom before giving it a firm squeeze. "What I want is to love, kiss, and cherish you in every possible. Will you let me? Corazón?"

There was only one answer.

There would only ever be one answer.

"Yes."

[chevelleneech]

While I do not mind BuckTommy, I wish their shippers and anyone more partial to them than Buddie, would stop lying about what their relationship is.

Tommy does not prioritize Buck, he simply revolves around Buck. It is the whole reason why them having zero development this season was so stupid, because it left way too much room for fans to make their own decisions on what the relationship is or isn’t, and claim it as canon. It’s why people are already saying they’ll be mad of BT break up, because Tommy is Buck’s healthiest partner, when he’s not.

Tommy is not a character who has a storyline, let alone one who makes decisions that impact the overall story. Everything he does is a result of what the writers need Buck to feel or where they need Buck to be, and that does not make him a healthy partner. They just haven’t written any conflict for them, good or bad.

Thus far, their biggest issue was Buck stumbling through his first date with a man, where Tommy did in fact mock his nervousness then leave him standing in the curb alone. Now, I’m not hung up on that, because I can see why it happened. Buck was extremely nervous and being awkward and likely made Tommy feel bad a little bit, but at the same time, it was wrong of him and he didn’t apologize. And since snippy remarks is all we really know of Tommy, it does become canon that he isn’t actually that nice to Buck. No matter what Bobby said, because as I said before, I strongly disagree with the writers writing in their own cop-out as an excuse for failing to develop Tommy or BT during the season. So yes, Tommy is attracted to Buck and doesn’t treat him like shit, but none of Buck’s exes ever did either. Pretending otherwise is y’all trying to rewrite the show to uplift your ship.

All that to say, Buck and Tommy dating is canon, yes, but them choosing each other or making sacrifices for their relationship, is not. We have been shown quite literally nothing. Everything BT shippers claim for BT, does not actually exist in canon. Not a single bit about love, lust, infatuation, commitment, relationship goals. Nothing, and I wish more “on the fence” fans pointed that out instead of piggy backing as if it’s true. Y’all are hopeful, and that’s fine, I am too. I want Buck to be happy, but I also don't want to give Tim and co praise for doing less than bare minimum.

Buck coming out overshadowed the entire season this year in terms of press and social engagement, but the amount of story and screen time he got in comparison is abysmal. By lying about canon, y’all are giving credit where it is not due. I mean honestly, if someone were to put together a compilation of out!Buck, it would not amount to anything. More so, they’d have to pad it with Buddie scenes, which speaks for itself even if they never go canon.

Anyway, my point is, stop lying about canon, and stop hyping Tim, the writers, and ABC up for what is currently a pretty poorly written storyline. Be happy we got bi!Buck, but also want more for his queer relationship. Especially when his relationships with women came with various small scenes to build their foundation, and him talking to his loved ones about how much he liked them.

[crismakesstuff]

im so excited for invincible s2b now that it has an official release date… and that release date is march 14th

Let me talk about why that has me worried for the future of the show

‼️also no hate to any other shows mentioned‼️

I want to start with these two images :

invincible compared to the boys and now hazbin hotel has BARELY gotten any offical advertising on this level. The boys also got ads in times square for the promotion of s3 and the spin-off gen v im pretty sure but I could be wrong.

Don’t get me wrong I am rly happy to see an animated show get promotion at that level and I think more streaming services should do the same but why is it that invincible, a show on its SECOND SEASON gets nothing? The official invincible accounts have to do most of the heavy lifting themselves with generating hype on their twt,insta and tiktok. People complain that the accounts often make “an announcement for the announcement” but they have too! They literally have no other option! It sucks to see invincible show signs of a show thats clearly being tampered with by executive fuckery that has led so many other animated shows to an early grave.

Also I NEED people to realize that invincible’s release schedule NOT THE FAULT OF THE CREW

I see people regularly being rude and borderline aggressive to crew members online (which ive seen happen in other fandoms too) but the amount of people that were bitching and whining about the hiatus saying things like “this is why we shouldn’t let animators have good working conditions” and people agreeing with those takes were INSANE. The crew have no control over when the show drops or not, that is a decision left up to executives.

Now why could this delay be happening ?

a little bit ago amazon made this announcement to its customers:

this very well lines up with what many people began to speculate online as to why invincible had such a weird release schedule for season 2. They release the first half and get people hooked on the first 4 episodes ending on a massive cliffhanger and then release the second half after ads are introduced in hopes of making more money bc ppl don’t want ads in the middle of their shows.

Even then many people (myself included) think that it would’ve ultimately been better for the sake of the shows own hype to just wait to release them in March back to back all 8 episodes. Because the midseason break just kneecapped the hype the show had built up so hard and now many people are reasonably frustrated.

Because there was no clarity on when the show would be back. Most people assumed it would be a month long break for the holidays which shows have done for a long time. And then fake leaks came out that the show would come back in early January, and then the invincible accounts were virtually silent, and people were saying the break was intentional for fans to (recover) for ep 4. It was all over the place

What should fans do going forward?

Best thing you can do is stream the show legally if you can! TALK about invincible, don’t let the hype die out. Get this shit on trending ! Boost any official posts online showing that there is still a demand for this show! If you can, buy merch! Read the comics legally ! LET AMAZON KNOW WE STILL CARE ABOUT THIS SHOW!

again no hate to the other shows here bc ive watched all of them! I just want invincible to get some of that love too because this show is so amazing and you can tell how much love the crew has put into it <3

[theydonthavenames]

Wille's arc appreciation post

I find it truly amazing how much Wille has grown and changed in season 2. At the beginning he was the same dramatic, hurt, chaotic, selfish, whingy (very affectionately) teenager prince we knew from season 1. He wanted Simon back badly, but he didn't have a clue how to win him back. But reality hit him in the face- Simon is still mad and he's actually trying to move on dating someone else- and with a *little* help of the biggest star of S2, Boris the Birkenstock Sossen ™️ he's gone so far and almost became a brand new person. There are a few scenes in the second half of the season where his decisions made me really proud of him. It's gonna be long, bare with!

I think the bravest thing Wille did this season was letting Simon go in ep 4. We of course knew he was so wrong, but Wille truly believed Simon doesn't love him anymore. He didn't see all of Simon's yearning, he didn't know Simon wrote him a love song. In Wille's eyes Simon trying to move on with Marcus and as much as it hurt, he finally accepted it. I think this was the most mature decision he's made this season, and I don't know what sort of strength one must have to let the love of his life go- I was lucky enough I never had to do that- I can't even imagine how much it hurt Wille. But he did it out of love and respect to Simon. He felt broken and hopeless too, but I believe Wille's primal reasoning here was that he loves Simon so much he just wants him to be happy, with or without him. Luckily the story didn't continue that way and it literally took Simon minutes to pull Wille back.

This one surprised me. When Simon decides to report August to the police, despite the potential damage it might have on his own and Wille's life, Wille just respects it. He told Simon he was scared, but he didn't try to change his mind. Season 1 Wille would loose his marbles in the same situation. He would probably end up shouting at Simon and calling him selfish (like he did in S1 piano room fight- which I expected). But S2 Wille trusts Simon's judgement and lets him decide for himself. Deep down he knows it's the right thing to do. And another beautiful thing that happened during this scene is Wille taking initiative to comfort Simon and hugging him. He showed Simon he supports his decision and will be there for him, no matter the consequences.

In this beautiful little scene Wille casually turns up at Simon's house to let him know he can give up the throne for him. First of all, he is so calm and collected, and he doesn't even ask for privacy, he lets Ayub and Rosh listen to their conversation- he knows they would find out anyway, but also he's not embarrassed to show his true feelings for Simon in front of his friends (and also I'm glad they were there because they needed to hear it too). But the best thing that Wille does here, after dropping the bombshell on Simon, he just walks away. He allows Simon space and time for the news to sink in and doesn't demand any answers, not even a comment. He really shows how much he starts to empathize with Simon- he must have realised it will hit Simon like a train, but he lets Simon deal with it on his own terms. S1 Wille would be dying to know what Simon thinks and he would not hesitate to ask. S2 Wille just walks away. So mature for a 16 year old.

And the final scene, my beloved. That 'I love you' whispered in his ear in dark Hillerska corridor worked wonders. The courage he's shown to admit it was him was unreal. But also it proves the amount of love he's got for Simon, that he doesn't want him having to compromise and keeping them as secret. He's grown to understand lies and secrets were not getting them anywhere. He was ready to break that circle and finally be true to his own feelings. Such a brave, beautiful moment, I'm so happy and proud he did that. They both deserved this ending, Wille and Simon.

Side note finally, we now know there is this deleted scene when Wille texts Simon at the end of ep 6, when everything is in pieces again and it almost feels like Wilmon is back to square one. As sweet as the scene is, I'm really glad that they didn't include it in the final cut, because it shows that after Sara's betrayal when Simon is ultimately sad, mad, hurt to the point of rejecting Wille, he just gives him much needed space. He doesn't try to run after him, text him, reach out, I think Wille understood that Simon needed the space and time to think things through. And that paid back beautifully. In my head, this scene doesn't exist.

Wille's gone a long way in season 2. His arc is beautifully written and makes me a proud mum 🥲 I can't wait to see him grow even more in next season- I have no doubt he will.

[tumblezwei]

God, all I want in Arcane season 2 is for Vi and Jinx to have one last final showdown where they both die metaphorically. Let them both live, but let them lose themselves in such a way that they can only say they died. For Jinx to ne so fundamentally changed from who she is that she disappears at the end to watch what happens from the shadows. For Vi to push herself so far into belonging in Piltover that she loses what made her herself from Zaun.

Only for both Jinx and Vi to be horrified with what they've become and knowing they can't go back.

Honestly, I think this has mostly already happened. The season 1 finale was that moment for Jinx, when she realized that with Vi siding with Cait and Silco dead at her hands, there's no one in her life that sees her for who she is. So she chooses to become exactly what Vi fears.

This is definitely something that's going to be expanded on in season 2, that being that nobody in this goddamn show knows what Jinx and Vi are about or what they want. The people of Zaun laud Jinx as a revolutionary figure that she absolutely isn't, the people of Piltover condemn her as a crazed lunatic that just wants destruction for the sake of it, Cait is absolutely not going to be a voice of reason or nuance after Jinx killed her mother.

And in the same vein everyone just makes their own assumptions about what Vi wants. Caitlyn is sure Vi is on her side about bringing Jinx in (I am fully convinced her line about "my sister is dead" is a complete lie to Cait), Jinx is sure that Vi has gone turncoat and just wants to get rid of her. And who knows what Ekko is going to think when he sees Vi in that uniform.

I can't say anything with any amount of certainty bc we've got like, barely two minutes of out of context footage to work with, but imo this season is going to be more about Jinx and Vi finally getting their feelings understood. Where in season 1 we gradually saw them separate as misunderstanding piled on top of misunderstanding, season 2 is about clearing those away.

Because as the show exists right now it just doesn't make sense for one side to "win" the conflict. And I have more trust in the writers than to expect them to finish the season with the status quo of League of Legends intact. Obviously, I don't expect them to do some radical reworking, especially with the whole "Arcane is canon to League" thing Riot wants to do, but it just doesn't make sense for this version of Vi and Jinx to end up like League Vi and Jinx.

And also bc I don't think that confrontation in the trailer is anywhere near the end lmao. That's episode three of the first act, at best. It's debatable if anything we saw goes past the first act at all.

[ettuleo]

I lied. I don’t like sex. Put your clothes back on. I’m gonna explain how releasing multiple seasons a year ruined voltron: legendary defenders

this was originally a twitter thread but it is truly how i feel about the entire series as a whole. all this to say these are my own thoughts and opinions.

--------

typically a show takes at least a year or so in production; making sure story lines make sense, characters are able to be developed instead of being flat (which happened to a lot of voltron characters ;-; but the characters are amazing) and to smooth out any wrinkle or hiccups. 

In doing 8 seasons in two years the writers were not given the ample amount of time to smooth out the wrinkles and to give us a fully fleshed out piece of work. Take for example Bojack Horseman. The show ran from 2014 to 2020 and it only had six seasons. in these six seasons tho the writers were able to tell an amply dark story but also giving us in depth backgrounds of the characters and we watched the characters grow and change (for better or for worse). the writers were given time to be able to tell that story and is why Bojack is highly praised. 

the voltron writers were not given the same treatment, instead they were rushed to give us 8 seasons in such a short time (this isnt taking account the poor animation team which was probably being worked to the bone bc its no joke animating tbh). 

Instead of characters that we see grow and change over the seasons, there was only like one person to have a charcter arc (pidge) and the character was hated on because of it. 

Like Lance got barely ANY character arc, he stayed the same throughout the entire show and we really never saw him grow and realize his own potential and no longer be insecure and feel like the seventh wheel of voltron. 

this can also explain why adam was introduced and killed off so quickly, there was just not enough time to even give shiro a proper backstory episode to show him making the decision to go to kerberos. 

Each of the seasons were also short and have little episodes because of the rush. I mean we saw lotor get a redemption arc and then it suddenly is thrown away so that haggar can be redeemed which made zero sense for her character.

if the writers and animators and the rest of the team were given rest time in between the seasons we would of seen an entirely different show (now that can also be false but im sticking to it could of been better) we could of seen each character grow and change and even get backstories for everyone.

i would of loved to see more garrison days of everyone and to see allura's life before Altea was destroyed (plus we could of gotten more fun filler episodes like monsters and mana where we see the characters personalities better).

people hated season eight and rightfully so, i cannot blame them. For lance to go back to farming with his family in cuba which has extremely racist undertones and for allura (the only black character) to be killed off does not also look good either.

allura didnt even have to die and for her to sacrifice herself just doesnt feel right. i understand fully that the show was EXTREMELY popular and the demand to get more episodes was at an all time high, but it was absolutely foolish and borderline amateur hour to rush production.

which is crazy because some of these show runners worked on amazing shows like avatar and korra. i know a lot of people who loved voltron feel betrayed by the eighth season and stopped participating in the fandom overall because of the betrayal they felt.

i feel like now a lot of times we as a fandom forget about this bc its been a few years since the finale and a lot of us rather use our own headcanons and fanon rather than the actual canon because it gave us nothing at all except for amazing characters.

okay to end this rant, the show feels half baked due to the way the production was rushed to get out these eight seasons in two years. if the writers were given the time (which honestly the show would probs still be going on now as we speak in the year of our gods 2022), the show could have lived up to its actual potential instead of being a dumpster fire (i use that lovingly but also not) we would of seen growth and change in characters and a lot of things we hated would of never of happened potentially. 

so yeah, thats my rant on the destruction of voltron. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[eliotquillon]

i actually really like the snappy pacing of s4 (even if i’m not overly crazy about the whole Fellow Finding Reality Show arc) and i honestly think it benefited from the shortened episode count BUT that said. so curious about what s4 might have been like if the writers strike hadn’t necessitated cutting it short. i think the overall shape of it would’ve been the same (house’s head/wilson’s heart are just too good) but here’s a list of stuff i think we would’ve seen/i would’ve liked to have seen if s4 had had a full 24 episodes:

-i think we probably would’ve gotten a lot more chase and cameron (and specifically Chameron Relationship Moments). this is based on the fact that a) we do get more of those in s5, when the episode count goes back to normal, b) we got so much build-up with them in the second half of s3 (i am not immune to punching the air when cameron shows up at chase's apartment in the s3 finale) that it does feel a bit weird that we barely see them together, and c) cameron especially does get a few moments of trying to prove she's the Best House Whisperer this season combined with the documentary episode of her making chase watch her chant 'i am not in love with house :)' in the mirror and i think there would've been more made of that if there'd been more episodes

-AMBER. i think we would've gotten a hell of a lot more amber + that her and wilson would've been together longer. i also think we would've seen a lot more of house and amber which imo is the main downside of this season being so short - house's head seems to allude to him having a crush on her by the time of the crash? or like. at least respecting her as a person which is more than you can say for most people. and i think a longer episode count would've allowed us to see more of that and/or let that simmer and fester for longer. anyway. amber in any capacity. send tweet.

-call me crazy but i think we would've seen more cole. i know we already get a disproportionate amount of focus/info on him given that he's never heard from or mentioned again after house fires him but part of me wonders if this is because he was supposed to have come back in another guest role at the tail end of the season and then that got cut but the rest of his stuff remained. would've been cool to lock him and cameron in a room together since she essentially goaded him into violence and all. maybe i just have too much faith in the writers for this one

-call me crazy again but a part of me wonders if this might have been The Huddy season. both because i read somewhere that lisa edelstein apparently had a sign saying that shippers should support the strike if they wanted more huddy (#based, always support a picket line) but also because like. the huddy slowburn is ridiculously long. by the time they got together i wasn’t even rooting for them anymore i was just ready for the arc to be over (and to be clear: i really like huddy). this is really speculative territory because obviously it wouldve had a massive knock on effect on later seasons (most of s5 and s6 gets knocked over by this) but like at the very least i think they probably would’ve kissed by the end of a full-length s4.

-i think it would’ve taken a bit longer for foreman to rejoin the team/he would’ve been a bit more of a stinker about it. emphasis on ‘bit’; i actually like how quick it is he regresses back to the fellowship/how fast he immediately resorts to malpractice at mercy (now there’s a spinoff title) but i think he probably would’ve stuck it out for another episode longer. maybe one and a half.

-absolutely we would’ve had a comedic subplot in some random episode about people trying to guess thirteen’s real name/their reaction to it. iirc the first time we heard her Actual name said Out Loud is with cuddy yelling at her over air bubble guy in house’s head. if there’d been time i just know there would’ve been a moment about this. that said i do find the canon reveal really fucking funny because for a moment when i first watched that episode i was like ‘who the FUCK is dr hadley’ which was probably the intended experience lmfaooo

-i think we might have gotten a few more sown seeds about house’s worsening addiction / mental health problems that obviously end up coming to a head in the final episodes of s5. nothing super big, but just a hint or two that something is Brewing.

-old fraud (henry) probably would’ve come back for an episode as house’s PA. or he gets hired as cuddy’s assistant (we know she runs through them like water) and house feels betrayed and there’s a silly prank war about it or whatever. hey for someone who doesn’t like the finding fellows arc i keep mentioning the discarded fellows a lot

-i know chase’s sister is a crazy s8 retcon (compels me tho) but can you guys please hold my hand where i imagine a world where there’s a subplot with him and cameron having a blowout argument where he reveals her existence to her and cameron tries to force him to reconcile with her. Ok you can stop holding it now i recognise that this is pure copium and never would’ve happened since we don’t find out about this sister until 4 fucking seasons later but it was a nice idea right

-this would’ve been a great season for a requisite Musical Episode. we get a lot of fun one-offs in s5 and 6 (lucas’s failed spinoff launch, 5 to 9, wilson) and this is the season with the documentary episode (that doubles as both the Meta Episode and the Noir Episode) so like. the writers were already armed and ready with their long-running cable show special episode notebooks. there probably would’ve been a ‘you can’t always get what you want’ fakeout. i’m not a fan of musical episodes and so would’ve hated every moment of it but i am a person of the people.

[takerfoxx]

Well, it's been a full week since Gundam: The Witch From Mercury has ended, and God, I miss it already.

This was a special show to me, and no joke, it might have made my top five anime of all time. There was just something wonderful about getting invested in a series while it was still running and tuning in week by week and having time to really digest what I've seen before the next episode hit. Granted, I marathoned all of season one and only checked it out because of the SLAP, but even so. It was a wild ride.

And not in the least because wow, a canon wlw couple in a massively mainstream franchise like Gundman, one that ends up getting unambiguously married, and it's not treated like a joke, not played for fanservice, and doesn't portray one of them as a horny molester. That is kind of huge and groundbreaking. And yeah, I am ride or die for SuleMio. They're like number two of my favorite anime couples, second only to KyoSaya, and they actually have the advantage of bursting out of the subtext into undeniable TEXT.

What's funny is that I remember being a little put off by their dynamic in season one. Despite all the hype, there was this weird distance between them, one that was very unromantic, to the point where I started to wonder if they even liked each other in that way, or if it was just a political thing. But then they had their WONDERFUL zero gravity argument, where it was revealed that this was actually a deliberate writing choice, and Suletta and Miorine's differences in backgrounds, ways of thinking, toxic upbringings, and difficulties communicating were going to be obstacles that they had to overcome. And watching them struggle with those problems and make multiple mistakes was honestly far more captivating then a cliched lovey-dovey relationship would have ever been. And seeing them finally come together and get their happy ending was well worth the wait.

But even beyond the main couple, this show fucked. The mech fights were all hype, everything was gorgeously animated, all the side characters were all unique and likeable (seriously, I was making an effort to remember everyone's names, even the throwaway characters with barely any lines), the music was OUTSTANDING (Red: Birthmark still gives me chills) and I still hold that Lady Prospera was not only one of the best and most interesting antagonists in a long time, but she is still one hundred percent Grade A Space MILF.

Still would.

Did it have it's problems? Of course it did. I agree that the last few episodes did feel really rushed, with stuff like the Calibarn and the big space laser suddenly showing up and being super important despite never even being mentioned. All the names of the different organizations were hard to keep track of, even though it was really important to the plot, and there was a lot going on that I felt could have stood to have room to breathe. Honestly, I don't know why WFM only got half the usual amount of episodes for a Gundam show, as it could really used a few more.

And yes, I would have loved to have seen the wedding and a kiss. I know, it's Japan, and Gundam doesn't usually have kissing, but after all that build up!

Still, what we got was still wonderful, and I'm glad that for as shaky as it got, it still stuck the landing.

I'm gonna miss this show. I'm really gonna miss it.

[sehtoast]

Is it me or not many people simp for Homelander compared to other villains? It’s like people can’t say they find him hot without getting jumped and i just don’t understand why? There’re villains who have done way worse and people still like them so why is it any different with Homelander, he is literally fictional and never harmed anyone in real life. What do you think is the reason?

Prepare yourself. This is gonna be a long one lol:

For what it’s worth, I feel like a lot more people do simp for him than are open about it for exactly what you just said. I’ve rarely seen fandoms respond to people liking a character the way people jump at us for liking Homelander.  The amount of hate mail I've received and seen others get and the genuinely FOUL things that have been said are just absolutely crazy. Like I’ve seen less kickback for people simping for real-world mass shooters and serial killers than I have for fans of Homie, which is WILD but yeah!!

I think it’s because Kripke decided to make him a Trump allegory that makes people so quick to jump us over it honestly. I feel like if he wasn’t, a LOT more people would openly like him too. 

More below the cut:

90% of the criticisms I see toward Homie fans is “he’s LITCHERALLY TRUMP” and/or something about Stormfront.  Some people go the “he’s a r*pist” route, which, sure, valid, but then this is not the same energy a lot of fans of r*pist characters have gotten.  I remember with shows like GoT, where characters could be any number of awful things (including r*pists), there wasn’t necessarily as much vilification of people for liking those characters, and, even though I didn’t watch much of the show, I know daaaaamn well we got some qualifiers in there.  That’s just an example, and there’s certainly others that prove the point. Soldier Boy was downright HORRIBLE to the women he was around, but we barely see criticism there and it's pretty heavily implied he's ignored consent many times in his own time given the way he treats women - plus we know he s*xually abused Gunpowder. Anyway, if that energy isn’t being directed in nearly the same capacity there or elsewhere, then it’s primarily likely to be either reason one or two, and I definitely would put my money on number one.  And like, being a Homelander enjoyer has not made me a Trump enjoyer. In fact, I have a pretty visceral reaction of disgust every time I see that rat bitch on the news lmao.  

Being a Homelander simp certainly does not mean we approve of his every act, but media morality police think this is not the case. I think a lot of people– and this was 100% exacerbated during covid shutdowns imo– have started to see media consumption as a form of morality and feel as though your enjoyment of something is a perfect spreadsheet of who you are as a person.  I mean, there have always been people like this, but it’s gotten worse and significantly more annoying in recent years.  I think the death of media literacy is also contributing heavily here because there being a lack of critical thinking associated with media consumption has so many people painting everything in a purely black and white context. Like this is good, this is bad, there is no middle ground in which people can consume this or appreciate that without it being a moral violation.  Which is… increasingly concerning lol.   

All media has problematic elements somewhere/somehow, and basically all characters do as well.  However, very few have the director jerking off and going “i’m SOOOOO smart for comparing him to trump omfg” and constantly shoving shoehorned political and social commentary into the script the way Kripke does (ask me how I felt about the transphobia ‘commentary’ this season and I will write you a thesis paper about how bad, ineffective, and mostly insulting to trans viewers it was). He’s so fired up to make the two a mirror image that even Antony Starr has said he’s sometimes checking Kripke and telling him that taking it too far reduces the character to one or two dimensional at best unless the comparisons directly relate to the narrative of the character.   The allegories have been effective in keeping people (for the most part) from viewing Homelander as a hero, but it’s also created a lot of senseless vitriol for people who actually do enjoy the character whether strictly because of the character himself or because they’re simping (I do both 😂).

So uh… that’s my extremely long two-cents. Hopefully it makes sense as I’m a little sleep deprived at the moment and just got out of a two hour long lecture lol

[jfkonfucius]

GIVE ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ON SEASON 3 HAND EM OVER

THIS IS NOT ALL MY THOUGHTS CUZ ALL MY THOUGHTS ARE HOURS WORTH OF THOUGHTS. PROBABLY. here's some scattered initial thoughts . out of order

- vlad vlad vlad i adore vlad i wish he talked more. he doesn't even name drop the first time we meet the bleacher creatures! I think. I don't even remember when he name drops

- I don't think I'm overestimating it when I say I am the confucius guy. and the confucius guy has been fed very well this season. im SO grateful. I'm obsessed with him. He's cute. He's sometimes a little unexpected. He has about 5/6 minutes worth of angst. He's relatable. He is everything to me

- The Mary twist was hilarious, at first I had mixed feelings about the character being shoved in, but it built up to awesomeness

- It's been rough for Harriet... It's been real rough for her character. Which SUCKS cuz I wanna like her! I don't dislike her but Girl Why

- The writing has def improved since the last season! Hooray! Gives me 1% hope

- The JFK&Abe&Confucius trio is adorable and one of my fav things about this season. "We tried! Yeah yeah We tried!" "C'mon... C'mon...? C'mon... C'mon!"

- Joanfucius cute !! 7.5/10. Better than their s2 relationships (Joanfk/tubfucius)

- Jfabers are winning. And losing also

- Shower scene didn't happen

- I loved JFK's personality arc, his devils & angels, and him being more bisexual than ever. The explanation for the writers to "fix his personality" was genius

- I felt the increased amount of swearing made it so jokes or emotional moments involving swearing didn't hit as hard as they could have. And some sex scenes were dragged on for too long which wasn't useful narrative/comedy wise .. just uncomfortable

- I accept buff confucius into my life

- The new characters from ep 9... erm. I didn't like them much. I don't like the "here's character's love interest that is basically this character but opposite gender!" trope. The part with Mrs. C's cockney accent made me like her more though

- JFK'S DAD CAMEO !! HOORAY !! i wonder where the other dad is though ...

- I appreciated the references to previous seasons !!

- The ending left me in shambles & some actual grief. I loved the last episode, the way it parallels the first season finale, and the emotional drama, but I feel like they can't afford a cliffhanger. I would have liked some closure, as I have barely any faith in the animation+streaming industry and am 99% sure we're heading for cancellation. Boo-womp

- On the topic of ending, I headcanon that if the series does get cancelled, the clones actually get hit by the missile and DIE. I AM MAKING IT WORSE FOR MYSELF

- I LOVE EATING MAGNETS

- I really liked the Christian rock song and the inclusion of Unrehearsed by Abandoned Pools! I wish there were more new songs X( but it ok

- Scud and Mr. B were awesome as usual

- Abe cute

- I'm glad we got more Kahlopatra (Or... "cleda" as the show calls it. I GUESS. I GUESS)

- Frida's dad... emm.. ermm.. ermmm.. 😳😳😳 he so

- The professor from Ep 1 is freaking awesome & has the same voice as mr. peanut butter i think which makes him awesomer

- Hmmm... Magnets

- I was very pleased to see more Front facing scared confucius

- I was also pleased to see him about to jump off a building. you know how it is with the fav characters ^_^

- Not a whole lot of JFKonfucius moments but some screenshot worthy stuff . I went insane when JFK grabbed Confucius by the collar though 😭 why does he do that. why are they like that. i love my boys

- the last shot grabs my heart with a fist and squeezes it It hurts It Hurts it Hurts

ok well if i keep on listing stuff i'll just be talking about everything confucius did so thats enough for now LOL !!! THANKS FOR ASKING . HEART 💚🧬

[mosswitch219]

Some thoughts on Bad Batch Season 3

SPOILERS

First off I want to say this is going to be a very unpopular opinion and if you liked the szn this probably isnt the post for u, but I feel I have to speak my mind.

Overall after watching season 3 I honestly feel let down and unsatisfied with the events and especially the ending.

1. Techs death is probably the biggest thing that frustrated me because when you kill a character off you should either have your other characters morn and grieve them and learn to accept the loss or bring them back.

However they didn't either of those, instead they pretty much forget he existed they barely reference him and only say his name like twice, it would be fine to show characters in denial about someone's death but it's more like the show is in denial. This is why many bad batch fans were expecting tech to come back, if you don't morn a characters death than the story arch feels incomplete a ppl will wait for it to "end".

Not to mention techs story didn't seem over he left on weird unfinished terms with Phee and it seemed like they would touch on it again but nope.

Also they introduced CX-2 and made it seem like he might be tech, such as having the same build and teasing the identity like it's important and like it will mean something and then at the end for CX-2 and all these super soldiers to mean absolutely nothing.

2. So many unfinished questions, I can't believe this is the end of bad batch and apparently the last clone show. Especially when we still don't know where tf Cody is and all we're told is that he's gone AWOL (mentioned like it will mean something in the future) and then we never see or hear anything about him again.

Then there's Wolffe obviously we know he's in Rebels but what happens between then and now?

Then there's Echo same as Wolffe what happens to him as we never see him fighting alongside rex in Rebels.

Then ventress she was introduced back and then she leaves and we never see or hear about her ever again, she didn't rlly add much they revived and went "look ventress is back" for one episode and then that's it she's no longer important all she did was say "yup omega has a high M count" and then left.

3. Omega and the other force sensitive children could have patched up the plot hole of "somehow palatine is back" by saying using omegas clone DNA that can sustain high levels of a M count and a force sensitive child they were able to figure out how to clone palatine or smth but no it all meant nothing and we never rlly knew what the tests where for even when they had a golden opportunity to reveal it when Rampart forces Nala se to tell him everything abt the experiments

Honestly season 1&2 were great and so I went into season 3 expecting the same amount of quality but I didn't get that. They usually tie everything together and I never felt unsatisfied or confused in szn 1&2 but I did in szn 3. I kept waiting for things to start to tie together especially when the had so many moment where it seemed like the scenes where there just to make things make sense but no they were all there for nothing.

I walked away from szn 3 thinking it must have been rushed or gotten a new writers team bc wtf was any of this, it was so out of character for the writers to make such bad decisions.

I understand if other people like the ending bc we don't usually get somewhat happy endings but this was more like a half-assed happy ending to me, I would have preferred a well written devastating bad ending but this is what we got instead and I am so disappointed. All I could think of szn 3 was about how angry, let down and confused I was and that it was a lame and made me feel meh.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 23/04/2024

How 2 Do Anything

Season 3 Featured on: STRINGS OF FATE ~ SiIvaGunner: King for a Day Tournament Original Soundtrack

Ripped by Scribble1k Vocals by eva twin

(Also check out the Remastered Version!)

Requested by Corb! (Request Form)

In reading the request for me to cover How 2 Do Anything on here, I was made to realize something pretty big. For the 10-plus months that I've been running this blog, and for the amount of coverage I've dedicated to Season 4 Episode 1's King for Another Day tournament event, I've barely devoted any time to its Season 3 prequel on SiIvaGunner. I wrote about an excellent original piece made for it by dante and wolfman1405, FINAL DESTINATION, and I got to gush specifically about Anamanaguchi with Give Me The Fantasy...but I've hardly even touched on the tournament itself. I'm here today with How 2 Do Anything, and its remastered version, to try and resolve that issue - to celebrate the very first SiIvaGunner one-day king, and in some ways, a turning point for the entire channel.

So, first of all - the King for a Day Tournament. Halfway through Season 3, the SiIvaGunner channel was suddenly prevented from uploading videos for a week's time, but were still able to make community posts and tweets. The team was given the perfect opportunity for a channel shake-up, an opportunity to rethink what SiIvaGunner could be, and began thinking of ways to have the channel engage more directly with its viewers. Sure enough, that eventually landed on the idea of a "tournament arc", an event wherein viewers would both submit ideas for contestants to be featured, but then vote between the qualified few to crown a champion - with said champion then getting the reigns of the channel for an entire day of rips. Takeovers had become a regular occurrence on the channel ever since Season 2, be it the Inspector Gadget takeover with Become as Gadget, or the Santana and Rob Thomas takeover with Haltmanna feat. Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 - each of these, as you can tell, brought with them a bevvy of rips tied to the character hosting the channel, and have in some cases become legends on the channel in retrospect. Thus, each submission to the tournament was of a character who represented a specific kind of rips, a "source list" as it's now since been called - and the voting came down to which kind of rip the viewers would most want to see on the channel for a day's time.

Truth be told, I wish I had been more involved with the fanbase at the time of KFAD1's unfurling, I can only imagine how exciting the discussions must've been during the unveiling and lead-up on Discord and Twitter. Yet as a big lorehead, a big part of the appeal of the original King for a Day tournament for me was specifically the characters each contestant was represented through. Season 3 was right when the Christmas Comeback Crisis (the channel's main storyline) had begun slowing down, with a lot of the lore additions made being supplemental rather than advancing the core story forward. Even though King for a Day wasn't connected to this main story, it was nevertheless a sudden explosion of character - and characters! - added to the channel, a good amount of which would continue to be relevant outside of the tournament's confines. Like, this was the debut of Ajit Pai on the channel, who basically had his own little narrative spun across his first appearance, A New Threat and Totally Shaaking Out Right Now - this was the debut of Geno, the tragic fallen star of DEARLY BELOVED... who we'd later catch back up with in the Season 6 DoomFes event - this was where we got JOHN NOTWOODMAN as the event's host who I rambled on about in Vote Responsibly!!....and it was, of course, the debut of everyone's favorite, Unregistered Hypercam 2.

Even though I was disconnected from most fan discussion at the time, I'm certain I wasn't alone in having Unregistered Hypercam 2 as my favorite of the tournament right from his unveiling. A source list consisting of every anthem of the old internet - Paralyzer, Dreamscape, Bodies - all wrapped up in a completely original character design, the most Little Guy thing you'd ever seen? Frankly, I was sold right away - and with each example rip made under his name, it seemed we'd only be made more sure of our choice. Throughout his run, and after his victory, it was as if How 2 Do Anything became the little guy's anthem - a modern, reimagined take on the theme that taught us all so many things across the early internet's scuffed YouTube tutorials.

I've covered some rips by Scribble1k on here before, notably the fantastic Guilty Eyes Creeper mashup, but King for a Day and its sequel gave rippers the unique opportunity to shine through full-on professional-grade rearrangements. I've always been partial to the themes that Hypercam brought with him to the channel, you may recall I've covered Paralyzer specifically twice already with YACKER TOILET and Remember when this song was the one related to toilets?, but I'm just as attached if not MORESO to the legendary Dreamscape theme that How 2 Do Anything is arranging. Just the three opening piano chords alone strike such a raw nostalgic nerve: its instrumentation is as far removed from Dreamscape as you could come, yet there's no other song that sounds quite like that, it introduces the theme as an old memory to be recalled through Hypercam's presence - an age of the internet lost to time, brought back all these years later after being buried away for so long. The arrangement itself goes in swinging soon after that, a main melody carried through a heavy electronic, almost dubstep-esque vibe - yet it never wholly loses that sort of melancholic tone set up by the introductory piano. The noise and distortion of the arrangement conveys almost a sense of the Dreamscape theme being at battle with the rest of the internet's noise, almost akin to Your Worst Nightmario, yet its a battle that turns into an incredibly sick listening experience, a balance of light and dark.

It's all topped off with a full-circle piano ending, and a small vocal signoff from guest contributor eva twin, whisking the theme away with a proud reaffirmation - "You can do anything...". And sure enough - the little guy did it!! Through a tough bracket and a close final dual with Splatoon's Off the Hook (hence, OtH Was Robbed), Unregistered Hypercam 2 wound up becoming the tournament's champion - and, in the process, has become an outright mainstay character on the channel. He got to have his Windows Movie Maker-core, day-long takeover, filled rips like Never Gonna Give Up Mahjong, and got to appear as the host of the King for Another Day Tournament, playing a vital role in its storyline and surprise final boss with NIGHTMARESCAPE 〜Unrestrained HyperCam 2〜 (Final Boss Phase 2). He's a core SiIvaGunner cast member, and all of this started with just an idea, a figment of the imagination cast into SiIvaGunner's email address for a silly tournament arc. One that was so successful and beloved by the fanbase, that it shaped the entirety of Season 4's two episodes - and in turn shaped much of Season 5 and Season 6 to boot.

This one little guy helped change SiIvaGunner forever, and in turn helped bring in a wave of incredible original arrangements just like How 2 Do Anything in the years to follow. The King for a Day Tournament may well have been overshadowed by its vastly bigger follow-up, but it has paved the way for everything that has kept SiIvaGunner so engrossing to follow in the years since - a shot in the arm at just the right time, and an incredible gateway for SiIvaGunner's team to flex just how talented they've always been.

[st-asya]

Idk what kinda introduction post that is, but I need to start this blog while my hyperfixation is still intact. No idea who'll bother to even read it, honestly, I fully expect it to be a talking-to-the-void kinda thing, I just love practicing my English, might as well combine it with my stoopid tho(ugh)ts everyone has already thought and seen cause I didn't exactly get into the series in time.

It's a side blog, and I'm not a native speaker so I'm self-conscious as everloving fuck and I sincerely apologize (yeah, it's a proper formal apology cause I feel guilty as fuck as well) if my posts are unreadable, I always do my damnedest for them to make sense, but it won't always be the case, I assure you. I have no talents except for trying to overcome the anxiety that grabs me by the throat on the daily basis (and I'm not even into that kind of asphyxiation thank you very much, duh) which sometimes results in my brain lacking the necessary amount of oxygen for it to function properly (but again I do my damnedest for my vitals to be intact), hence some inadequate posts. So about that, I'm trying to overcome the anxiety by posting everything that pops into my silly little head (it's a shitty way to do it, but it's something at least), the horrors persist, but so do I.

Kay, I'm depressed as fuck (not trying to present it as a badge of honor or anything, it's just a part of my personality, so I think I need to mention it), and it's a miracle watching OFMD (finally) somehow made sense in my head (cause nothing does lately). I'm as late for the party as fucking ever, but oh well maybe being slow will be my always.

I've just started to watch it actually, but my first thought was that it felt a tad rushed, but it's perfectly understandable. Still it made me feel the full daunting force of existential dread with a ray of hope on the side (which, again, makes me all suspicious to no end cause everytime I feel hopeful I think my brain is fucking with me with no safe word involved in the process).

I've watched 6 eps of season 1 so far, spoilers don't faze me one bit (I'd stumble upon them either way, no point in trying to avoid them, methinks), cause I made sure I'd watched some YouTube vids with bits of all the eps combined on a complete whim and cause those bits did exactly fuck all for me to piece together anything at all, so strictly speaking, they don't even feel like spoilers. I'd even say I started to actually watch the series cause I got so damn angry at myself for not understanding shit, so I was like yeah, makes perfect fucking sense and finally I know what the "m'noses" and "doggy heaven" lines were about (I seriously thought I'd spontaneously combust if I don't find out, the last time I've ever been so dead set on achieving anything was when I tried to understand whatever the hell Buttons says (so fairly recently), cause English is my second language (there might be subtitles and script, I assume, but no, we die like my will to live while figuring it out solely by listening to what he says (love me some torture, weird flex but okay, I guess).

That's helluva long post that barely makes any sense, so I'll shut up for now.

[rimouskis]

In the interest of wanting to love life again: what was your favourite moment of the Penguins season this year? Any happy memories?

I had a really great season, man.

I saw games with seven different fandom friends and got to introduce three of them to the city for the first time. I got to see so many wins alongside them, including several friends' first pens wins. I got to watch the Pens win a Pride game, which was amazing and so fun.

I got to see Geno's 1000th game in Chicago (with my family, who'd never been to a hockey game before), and then flew back to Pittsburgh to see them celebrate it on home ice—with Geno winning it in a shootout that was probably the coolest experience I've ever had in a hockey arena.

I got to see Tanger's 1000th game and share that with a friend. Seeing the funky fun little warmups (which I missed for Geno's in Chicago because the arena workers were mean 😂) was super special and cool.

I got to go to the night of assists, which was a lifetime experience, special and made all the better by getting to share it with a fandom friend.

I got to go to a Geno fan signing with another friend, and say hi to him as he signed my jersey and thank him for signing with the pens. he said he was glad to sign, too:)

I got to live through contractgate, which was horrible-at-the-time but also a really unifying experience.

I felt a thousand, no, a million times worse when Geno pulled that dumbass "I'm gonna test free agency 💅" move this summer that made me just SOB in the arrivals lane at an airport on the very first business trip I've ever made in my career ahahaha.

and it's weird and silly, because I'm a person who really needs to reframe those upsetting moments into something good. it's how I live with them. I remember how hopeless I felt—my plane had been turned around, I was late to my first business trip ever, I was about to meet my high-powered boss in person for the first time, I was standing in the Detroit heat waiting for 45 minutes for a shuttle to take me to the grimiest hotel I've laid eyes on because my connecting flight had been delayed until the next day... and I was just crying into my mask as I tried to console my fandom friends and keep my wits about me because it kind of felt like the world was ending.

and it wasn't... about... the team. in a way it wasn't even fully down to being about geno. do not get me wrong: I was personally devastated by the idea of him not coming back. he's one of My Guys. I was in denial about what I would do if he didn't sign with the Pens. I was so torn up about it that I stayed up for hours even though I was exhausted.

but the fear that kept me up in that really weird, shitty hotel room was the thought that my fandom was going to circle the drain because of it. we saw what a ship split did to tk/np, didn't we? their situation was different from sidgeno's... they lacked the amount of history, the sheer years... but nonetheless, I'm really, really aware of how small and tight-knit our corner of hockey fandom is. I was terrified of the possibility of geno leaving and that fracturing this really beautiful chunk of the internet that I've called home for the majority of my adult life, at this point.

that didn't happen. not only did it not happen, but I was in a vacation dreamland, barely needing to work on a business trip in the most gorgeous fantasyland location I've ever seen, having impressed my boss and nailed my part of the trip. all my anxiety—over the trip, over my job, over my fandom, over geno, over sid, over my friends dealing with this—was real, but it didn't win. instead I practically experienced euphoria on the shoreline.

I remember getting the text from a friend at close to midnight or whenever it was. geno had signed. things were going to be okay. things were going to be great.

and they were. I had so much fun this season, man. I really did. I wrote 14ish new fics this season. I participated in three (four? maybe more?) fic fests. I went to so many games that I felt gluttonous about it. I talked to tons of people all over this fandom. my friendships grew stronger. I traveled to two different states to visit fandom friends. I'm flying across the ocean to see more in the coming months.

and like... that's what matters. that ACTUALLY impacts my life, more than a man leaving a team, more than a team losing games. as important as certain players or records are to me, that's all stuff I can come to accept (well... some things I can accept. I don't think I'd ever have gotten over geno had he left. I get nauseous thinking about it. let's not muse on it. it didn't happen and that's what matters).

what I wouldn't have been able to accept was this space—this fandom, this lovely little corner where we talk about and joke about and blog about and meme about and write about the pens—unraveling. I'm not naive enough to expect this place to be around forever, and it already looks radically different from what it was when I joined it, but I'm determined to help preserve it for as long as I can. I want this to be a fun space. A creative one. Someplace where we're having a good time but also talking about things that matter to us and learning about the sport.

I told you all in a post a long while ago after I went to seattle that I want to be more assertive and honest about how much online friendships mean to me. the fact that there's this online community is sick. we're all in this cool little boat together and that is impressive and interesting and unique and I love it. I love fandom, and I love THIS fandom, and I love Sid and Geno and what we do in the name of their friendship. this place has enriched my life in ways I can't even tell you about. it's so cool. it is SO cool.

so.... I don't know what else to leave you with but this picture of the coastline I sat at on a cool July night, with my career changing in amazing ways and my anxieties quelled and my body flooded with adrenaline over the news that Geno Was Back and my mind BURSTING with creativity over a new story idea that was billowing out of me like smoke.

I sat there, headphones in, a song by one of my favorite bands playing on repeat as the sun set and the world turned the most intense shade of blue I'd seen in my life. I kept mouthing along to the words—Die if I must, let my bones turn to dust, I'm the lord of the lake and I don't want to leave it.

I just couldn't get over how lucky I felt. what a life I had. what fortune had come into my life. how crazy it was that things, like they seemingly so often do, worked out.

if I REALLY wanted to be trite, I could say something right now like "well, it was about time my luck ran out." but I don't feel like it has. tonight wasn't fun, but this season isn't about tonight for me.

this season is about:

the look on my friend's face as we caught sight of Sid at the night of assists and had that christ-he's-real moment

starting a podcast with my friends and getting to create silly goofy stuff in fun new ways

my dad being kind of alarmed at me screaming down at the ice and getting to explain to my sister what a power play was

getting to boo and cheer with the fans (and my friends). during overtime and the shootout for Geno's 1001th game, and the ecstasy of him winning it all.

having players walk past me and my friends at our dinner tables randomly in the city and getting to laugh about how cool/funny an experience that is 😂

having geno help me win a game of blackjack, which will forever be one of the coolest things I've been able to experience

organizing trips for people who've never seen the city before and having them tell me how fun experiencing pgh is, which is so meaningful as someone who's done a lot of growing up here

meeting new friends, both online and in person, and getting to learn about them and write with them and create with them

writing. writing. writing. the thing I've loved to do since I was a child. the thing I want to dedicate myself even more fully to.

reading the works people in our fandom write and share, which is such an overwhelming act of community and passion that I need to remind myself of how extraordinary it is

sitting out on the edge of the water and marveling at what a life I had, literally none of it possible without fandom. nothing in my life has shaped my literal life path as much as this fandom and S+G.

this is overly sentimental and perhaps cloying, but god, do I mean it. I mean it so earnestly I can't even be embarrassed about it.

life is good. tonight was hard, and I saw things that are going to stick with me and probably upset me, but the positives outweigh the negatives as a rule in my life. I can't live otherwise. I won't tell anyone else how to deal with stress or fear, and I'm trying to get better at that, but in the meantime I'll leave you with that image of the big blue world all laid out in front of me and me feeling every feeling in the world there was to feel, because I was so overwhelmed with the previous 24 hours that it was all I could do to sit there and let it run its course.

I'm an optimist, for better or worse, because it's the way I make life bearable. and, because I'm also kind of corny, I'm going to go back to that blue dusk eating up the whole sky and melting into the water and remember how I felt.

that's why I'm here. I hope there are moments from this season that made you feel like that, too. I hope you, like me, feel that those moments greatly and meaningfully outweigh bad ones.

it was a good year. I can't wait for whatever comes next.