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rcksmith · 4 years ago

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Be mine — Roman Godfrey

Requests: “Helloo, I would like to request an imagine of roman Godfrey with smut prompt 28”

“Hii, omg I lover your work!! Can you do fluff prompts 45 and 59 and smut prompts 32 whit Roman Godfrey? Thank you, love💖”

Fluff prompts:

45. “where have you been all my life?”

59. “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

Smut prompts:

28. “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

32. “I’m going to show you what a real fucking is.”

A/N: I was excited about these request for Roman, I loved it. I hope you guys like.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Roman Godfrey/ Fem! Reader.

Warnings: Swearing, explicit smut, NSFW, degradation, dirty talk and also fluff too.

— — — — —

The big white and airy room tried to show a soothing and safe energy, the light tones contrasted with the golden rays of the sun outside and could even try to show a lyrical vibe. Could, if not for everything else.

It was hard to pinpoint the source that messed up that whole idea of peace that the colors on the walls had, but maybe it was because Godfrey Industries was... oblique, mysterious, sinister. There was something in the air, a dark breeze that echoed all the floors of that gigantic building, bringing the feeling that something was out of place. It was, at times, disconcerting. Like looking at a perfect painting but knowing that something is out of place. Or to witness the seconds of frightening calm before a major disaster. But as the months went by, you had to get used to it and adapt to it. Your daydreams wandered far away. You wondered what you were doing there, in that country town that also had that sinister energy.

Why you left Los Angles? Okay, did you know why. After finishing college, you sent out resumes to as many companies as you could. Its from that time when you realize that adult life has knocked on the door and that the cost of living in California was too high. The plan, when you left home to pursue your dream and go to college in another state, was to get a job as soon as possible. But some things got out of your control, and when you realized it, you had graduated and you didn't have enough money to come up with second plans.

So, when the multinational Godfrey Industries called you after an interview and gave you the job, you didn't hesitate. The salary was too good for a international negotiations assistant, and after a while you could breathe easier, and be able to straighten out your financial life and have a better resume to be able to get back to a big city.

It was a good plan, a rational plan. You were proud of that. But it was logical that too much confidence was accompanied by some ruin.

And its ruin came under the name of Roman Godfrey.

Roman was swallowed all the air in any the room when he entered, as if its imposing presence subdued any environment. Everything about him exuded the same objective: to conquer, to possess, to win. He was the Trojan army. But the worst and the most dangerous was not his difficult personality, but how you felt close to him. How his presence caused side effects on you.

He was absolutely gorgeous. It should be considered illegal for someone to have that appearance, that voice, that sinisterly penetrating look. You felt that Roman Godfrey had the aura of intense and exciting music, like the song of danger.

He was the personification of sin, and you were being tested by the universe.

The trinity of what could be a gigantic disaster was completed when, a few months ago, Roman started testing you, joining the universe in what appeared to be a plan to slaughter your sanity.

It was your first meeting with the Company a few weeks after you was hired. Adam, the director of the international negotiations sector, for whom you are an assistant, asked you to bring all the documents of the process and remain in the meeting. It was about an international multi who wanted to buy some equipment from Godfrey Industries, but who were working hard to try to close deals at a lower price.

As you handed a copy of the negotiation to each sector director in that room, you felt a pair of eyes burning the back of your neck the whole time, like your shadow. The caustic sensation ruffled all the hair on the back of your neck, snaking from head to toe and made you search the environment behind the author.

That's when you finding him.

Roman had the green irises stuck to you like a tattoo on your skin. As if unraveling all your secrets, your sins, virtues and all your thoughts. It was intense, magnetic... dangerous.

You felt the white walls of that room were embraced by a black and dark shadow, and the air became thin. Then he smiled. A smug and arrogant little smile. The kind who won a battle.

It had been the beginning of a sequence of events. Roman began to request and make sure that you were present at all meetings, negotiations, cases, even when your presence added much more to your professional knowledge than to contribute to the resolution of company problems. At that time the order was still not directed at you, Adam just told you that Godfrey wanted you at meetings.

It was strange, atypical, almost surreal. You used to go into the conference room and look directly at Roman, frowning in silent questioning at him. But he never gave you an answer. He just gave that smug smile and turned his attention to the big screen in the living room.

This happened five times before Roman sent to tell you that he wanted to see you in his office.

“But why?!" You frowned at Adam.

The man looked at you for a second before shrugging.

“Your work has been impeccable, I think he just wants to give you more things to do.” Adam kept his eyes on the documents themselves.

"But you are my boss.” Sometimes you had a habit of saying what you thought without considering the consequences.

Your mother and your friends said that you had a total inability to hide what you felt, to be someone reserved or shy. You were almost always the person who said everything you felt.

Adam laughed softly, already used to your personality and turned his eyes to you.

“And he is my boss."

You restrained yourself from rolling your eyes. The truth was, you didn't want to find him. Roman puzzled you, messed with your system. And after those 5 meetings without explaining why you were there, you started to want to avoid his presence.

But apparently the universe was not on your side this time.

You got up and excused yourself, listening to your own heels echoing down the hall before entering the elevator and pressing the last button. Going to Godfrey's office.

Anxiety coursed through your veins like overwhelming electricity, making you sway on your heels and stir your fingers.

What did he want with you? Had you done something? Was he crazy?

You sucked in the air hard, shrugging your shoulders to relax when the door opened up. You walked for a while before stopping at Roman's office and knocking on the door with your finger.

“Come in." The voice made your heart skip a few beats.

You walked in, closing the door behind you and laying your eyes on the tall, slender figure who was sitting behind the table, dressed in black pieces and a small smile.

“Did you want to see me, Mr.Godfrey ?"

Maybe it was your imagination or your nervousness that was seeing things in between lines, but you could have sworn that Roman breathed harder after you said his last name.

You stopped in front of his desk, too agitated to sit on the chair.

“Yes, Darling.” He stood up, getting much bigger than you, even though your feet were in a 10 cm heel.

Roman fished a file on the table itself, bypassing the table and coming menacingly close to you. He stood in front of you again, his hip against the table and leaning there, holding out the file for you. You took seconds longer than you would like to pick up the papers, Roman's left leg was dangerously close to yours, the knee almost brushing your thigh covered by the black skirt.

“I need it ready by night."

That's when you came out of the trance, picking up the folder and staring at the amount of stuff there. It was a process about an agreement with a company in Asia, and it was so bureaucratic that it would take up your entire time. And you already had a million things for do.

“But...” You were about to start talking, but Roman moved away from the edge of the table, his chest hovering over yours.

You have never felt so small, so fragile and so vulnerable in your life. You had to lift your chin to face him straight.

“You are going to be a good girl and bring me this tonight.” It was not a request. “You will, right?”

Your common sense or decorum had gone somewhere. Maybe was lost in your own stupidity. The oxygen evaporated from your lungs. And before you could think of something diplomatic and good to say. Because you were not dumb. You heard yourself say:

“Yes, Mr. Godfrey.”

Fucking hell!

“Great.” He gave you a rewarding smile.

From that moment on events like this became routine. In fact, you tried to mask that you liked it, that it wasn't extremely unprofessional, that he was not only your boss, but also the owner of the entire company. Over time you learned to deal with him too, Roman was never brazen or touched you, he would drop some ‘Dear’ or ‘Pretty’ over and over here for you, but, truth be told, you didn’t get uncomfortable.

Perhaps it was your feminine vanity. You didn't want to be selfish, but having a man like Roman Godfrey praise you did wonders for your feminine vanity. You felt absurdly beautiful. He made you feel like the personification of the Female Fatal, and you liked that. So you would roll your eyes at him and give him some jokes smiles in his direction whenever these things happened.

You did not deny it, but you also do not return any praise.

Over the months you had practically become more of an assistant to Roman than to Adam. He kept you getting bogged down with things to do and telling Adam to pass on your old duties to any other goddamn person.

“They accept to close if they have had 30% of the profits.” You put your cell phone down to talk to Roman, who had his hip against the desk work and an open file in his hands.

“They must be stupid” he rolled his eyes “10% and I will still be being generous.”

You went back to your call, your eyes fixed on the top view of the city as you settled the deal.

“I can get them to close by 15% if we send the equipment by tomorrow.” You said to Roman again, plugging the cell phone microphone with your other hand “But it has to be send until the morning. Not next.”

Roman smiled broadly and satisfied, nodding his head in ‘Yes’ as you turned your attention to the city view and finished the negotiation. You were getting the details right when you felt a presence behind you, the heat radiating for your back and making you lose your breath for a second. You swallowed and tried to ignore something vibrating in your core, disconnecting the call as soon as you closed the deal.

“What would I do without you?” Roman's voice blew at the top of your ear, his ghostly touch fanning your skin.

You laughed to try to hide how much your core pulsed, turning around enough to face his completely.

"I don't know, you would have already lost four contracts.” You tried to joke, but he was absurdly close.

The scent of a man and an expensive cologne swallowed you like a wave and dragged you into the sea, drowning you. The emerald green eyes were fixed on you, as if they swallowed you.

“You could work for me.” Godfrey let go, taking another step closer to you.

Instinctively, you took a step back, your back finding the cold glass behind you and trapping you between the cold sensation and the absurd warmth of the man.

"I already work for you.” You said it as if it were obvious, letting out a nervous laugh and trying to clean up how much your uterus vibrated now.

“No, you work more with Adam.” He rolled his eyes, his hand now resting on your hip, rising to your waist like a snake “I speak of you being my assistant, being here when I arrive, spending the all days with me.”

Your heart screamed, your pussy throbbed so hard that if Roman hadn't paid attention to you, you would have bitten your lip.

“Are you flirting with me?”

"You finally noticed?"

There was no way to deny to yourself that you had already reached your share of perverted dreams with Roman Godfrey. He was like an addiction! It was unbearable how present he was always in your head, playing with your sanity, making you think of how those absurdly long fingers would fuck you so well, how those impeccable clothes hid a maddening body.

And that was exactly why you couldn't be him assistant.

If it was already overwhelmingly difficult to occasionally remain in him presence without diverting your thoughts, every day would be impossible. All the time. You would end up having to resign your job after, because any involvement between you would not result in a happy ending. Aside from being extremely unethical, it would end up destroying your heart, and God, you needed the job!

"M-Mr Godfrey." You tried to speak, touching his chest with the palm of your hand with the intention of gently pushing him away.

But the shot backfired. He was cold. Absurdly cold. Cold that makes you want to warm up, an addictive, that intoxicates you. Suddenly, you are already wondering if other parts of it would be cold too.

Would the kiss contain the beauty and temperature of the snow? When Roman entered you, would he be consumed by the heat of your needy walls? He Would it stick to you like a private sun?

“Pretty.” Godfrey sighed against your cheek, dangerously lowering his lips in your direction. “Why not stay with me? Where can I fuck you every day? ”

This time you moaned, a low moan that gave up all of your game. It lit a dangerous, vital fire in Roman's eyes, and him hand, which once touched you softly, now snaked into your waist, pulling you close.

“Do you like to hear that? That I want to fuck you until you scream?” You closed your fingers on him black dress shirt, closing your lip between your teeth to contain a groan.

Roman's mouth went to your neck, pouring wet, surprisingly hot kisses onto your skin.

"Would you like to know that I have imagined fucking you hard for a long time?” His hands went to the hem of your skirt. “That I want to tag you with my cum until you're just mine?"

“Mr.Go-Godfrey!” You moaned loudly, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting your head go back and lean against the glass wall.

“Tell me, Pretty.” He lifted his lips to hover over yours “Tell me you want this as much as I do.”

You frantically ascended your head, letting a 'Yes' leave with a low sob.

Thereafter Roman wasted no time. He pulled you onto his lap by your thighs, placing you under his desk and throwing all objects on the table with one arm. He kissed you. Furiously. He kissed you as if you were his property, as if you were the answer to all his prayers, his divinity. Your mouth opened to get air and Roman took the opportunity to invade with his tongue, hunting you.

You groaned, or he, or both.

"I'm going to show you what a real fucking is." Roman snarled against your mouth, not considering any consequences before popping all the buttons on your shirt with a two-handed tug, making you gasp.

That seemed to bring you back to Earth.

You pulled your chest away from him, and Roman looked up at you with a questioning expression.

“Ro-Roman, this is wrong.” you said.

“You have no idea how much I don’t give a fuck.” He leaned over to kiss you again, extremely excited by the sight of you in a lacy bra, but you averted your face by placing your hands on him chest.

You said. “I'm going to have to resign this job later if I do it, and I need the job.”

Romam snorted, straightening up again.

“Who says you need to resign? Did you forget that I am the owner of this crap?” He brought his lips to your neck once more, and you sighed softly “Be mine. Be mine."

“I don’t know.”

Romam held your face in his hands, in a gentle touch, which clashed absurdly with the lush fire in his eyes.

“I don't want to fuck you because you work here, but because I think you're fucking beautiful.” He said “Be mine, and if you don't want anything to do with me afterwards, that's okay, let's keep working normally.” Roman moved closer, his voice hitting your mouth “Let me fuck this hot pussy, I'm sure you'll want more later. And I will give you everything you want.”

So you gave in. You kissed him fiercely, spreading your legs wider and settling them between them, letting the skirt roll to pile on your hips and exposing lace panties. Roman reaching down to your back and removing your bra, dropping your mouth over your left breast when it was exposed.

You moaned loudly, throwing your head back, curling your fingers in his hair and sighing when Godfrey moved his fingers down the middle of your legs. You whimpered, rummaging around in his hand for some friction, needy and needy.

Roman laughed arrogantly against your breast: “Such a needy little thing, aren't you?” He took a bite out of your left beak as he walked away to remove his belt.

You groaned, your eyes on fire, your body hot and needy. And that's when Roman looked at you. A hot fucking woman half naked at his table, so beautiful and perfect that it was almost a sin. He wanted to be able to record that scene forever. You were perfect. He thought you were extraordinarily perfect.

Then he rushed ferociously at you again, his hands wrapped around your hot body as he moaned on your lips: "Where have you been all my life?"

You gasped, finishing the job of his belt and pants, fighting a battle with his tongue.

“Waiting for this moment.” You provoked it with a sensual chuckle, nibbling on his lower lip.

Roman shared your sly smile, tearing at your panties and holding his own dick in your direction. You moaned louder this time, in need, lowering your hands to his hips and rolling around his waist, trying to get closer.

Roman laughed, sinking his mouth into yours and also plunging his dick into yours smooth folds.

You screamed out loud, clasping your body to his while Roman put an arm around your waist, gluing your body to his and hitting the stick at the end of the well, drawing out a loud groan from both of you. The environment was filled with moaning and pornographic sounds, the table rattling beneath you as the things that were left on top now fell completely. You wrapped your arms around his neck, clenching your nails at the back of your neck as you wrapped your legs around Roman's hips, pulling him further into you and swallowing him completely.

“Holy fuck!” He snarled, lowering his mouth to meet your neck and shoulder, closing his teeth there as he demanded more force in his movements.

Godfrey beat without mercy, without pause, conquering and proclaiming his every piece of your body as his own. You could no longer control your moans, all the sensations exploded inside you like nuclear bombs and pleasure and pain curved all your lines of reasoning. You laid your back on the table, your breasts jumping with the speed and strength of him movements, while Roman clasped his hands on your waist and set a brighter pace as he pulled you onto his dick and propelled your hips at you.

“So fuck hot slut!” He growled, never stopping the pace.

You shouted something that looked like him name, and threw your head back when the orgasm invaded your system, shaking your legs and pulling him deeper. Roman moaned loudly, squeezing your flesh so tightly that it would leave marks tomorrow, while he cum inside you, spilling all the hot liquid on your barriers.

You were sweaty and panting, but Roman didn't give you a second to breathe and process the situation until he leaned over to you, still inside your core, and kissed your right breast, dropping one:

“Dinner at my place tomorrow?”

You laughed, still very airy, and agreed, overcome by tiredness.

“Okay, Godfrey.” Roman gave you another lunge of teasing, making your laugh mix with a groan.

#roman godfrey #roman godfrey x reader #Roman Godfrey x you #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgård x reader #Roman Godfrey x y/n #hemlock grove #Hemlock Grove x reader #bill skarsgård imagine #roman godfrey imagine #Roman Godfrey icons #smut #Hemlock Grove smut #willard russell

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bettyminicoop · 3 years ago

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We're at AU since 504, and I'll prove it to you.

So, Riverdale is a comic.

No not like this.

RIVERDALE is a COMIC.

This is how this article began a day ago, when I tried to develop a theory about season 5 and try to explain the absurdity of everything that we have seen on the show lately. But Riverdale is really a comic, in which anything can happen, including events that take us to an alternate universe.

So, the main secret of the season 5 is not mixing ships, it's not about TBK, not about Moth Men, not about TRAUMA™. The main secret of the season 5 is: "What the hell is going on here?"

Does RAS like predictions? Jughead in 417 literally says, "In what future are we not together?" Thus, launching this universe, in which we find ourselves since 504. And there is an explanation for all this, oddly enough.

Honestly, I think that the absurdity of 518 helped me a lot. I realized that all the ship's nonsense of the season is a red herring. I calmed down, exhaled, moved a little further and looked at the whole picture.

For convenience in the future, I will call the events of the first four seasons as RD01, and season 5 since 504 as RD AU. So, everything that happened in RD01 also happened in RD AU, but in a different way. And something may not have happened at all. This is where all the inconsistencies with the plot of the first four seasons come from.

1. The writers are not lazy, they don't forget what happened 5 episodes ago. RAS simply deceived everyone by taking a very risky step. All of the plots that take place in Season 5 have a backstory that we don't know anything about. Except for certain plots that are taken out of the context of the first four seasons. But the difference is that all these plots that happened in RD01 went completely differently here in RD AU.

2. The episode of Citizen Lodge has the most direct evidence for the existence of RD AU. Because if this episode hadn't happened, it would have been hard to guess RD AU. It would be impossible to connect the dots. Citizen Lodge is the key to unlocking the mystery of Season 5 of Riverdale.

The Midnight Club takes place in 1992, but Citizen Lodge takes place in 1988. Although these are the same characters, in the same age range. But at Citizen Lodge we were shown newborn Veronica, because Hermosa never existed here. In RD01, the Lodges have a family rum business, RD AU Lodges are shoe shiners not originally living in Riverdale. The events of both episodes contradict each other, because they took place in different universes. This is not a fault of the writers, this is a deliberate hint. This whole new RD AU universe exists several years earlier than RD 01.

Small addition. In 516 it is indicated that Hermosa exists in the RD AU. But maybe she is younger than Veronica.

3. The last time a clear timeline is set is 503, when Jughead sits in Pop's a year after graduation. And when he walks out the door, he says that the next time he saw his friends was six years later. But we haven't seen that yet. Because that's where RD01 ends.

When 504 starts, nowhere is it stated how many years have passed. The first timeline is set by Veronica Lodge. "It's 2021". And this is the very first clue that we are in the middle of RD AU.

4. When Season 5 was announced, RAS said it would be a 5 year time jump. But by the start of the season, it turned into 7 years. And there is still no error. In RD01, after Bughead says goodbye on the porch, their next meeting actually happens in seven years. But we haven't seen it yet.

RD AU probably takes place five years after core four graduated from high school. And this is confirmed by Bughead's conversation in the bunker when Betty asks Jughead why he's bringing up a conflict five years ago. Which by the way does not negate the fact that voicemail happened only two years ago. Because it is the aftermath of a terrible five-year conflict that ended Bughead's relationship in RD AU. Do you seriously agree that kissing was a terrible thing to do? Probably something worse happened at RD AU.

5. On the chest of Archie RD AU there is no scar after his meeting with the bear, so this did not happen in this universe. We've been shown Archie's breasts so many times this season but we never really noticed!

6. Tom Keller and Sierra McCoy do not appear to be married in RD AU, although they literally fought the Gargoyle King for their relationship.

7. I believe that the RD AU timeline is shifted 4-5 years back relative to RD01. As confirmed by Bughead's bunker conversation and the events at Citizen Lodge. And this explains why RD AU is now in 2021, and not 2027, as it should be in RD01.

8. I watched season 5 very casually and hardly saw more than 1/3. So I need you to help me collect more evidence for the existence of RD AU. For every plot, event and conversation, you need to apply an AU theory filter. And I can promise you, every piece will find its place in the puzzle.

By the way, differences can be not only in plots and dialogues, but also physical in the appearance of characters and interiors.

I'm sure that Veronica's question to Archie, where he sees himself in five years, was also not accidental. But I no longer have the strength to develop this and build it in the context of RD AU. Especially because I don't know much about their relationship history. I trust you to figure it out.

And I wouldn't be at all surprised if Season 5 of Riverdale is still Jughead's book from RD 01, called Rivervale.

Will we get the RD AU backstory in Season 6? To be honest, I'm not sure if we need it.

Is Polly still alive in RD01?

Could Alice's hallucination at 518 be AU on AU? That is, literally being RD01 inside RD AU. Because these scenes were, it seems, the most "normal" in the whole episode. Follow up on this idea. Or we can just wait for season 6 special.

It does not matter at all which ships the RD AU will end with. It does not matter. Because season 5 and season 6 special is not about ships.

Maybe season 6 special is when RD01 and RD AU mix. Well, let's see, it's not long to wait.

Is there a chance RD AU will end on episode 100? Perhaps.

Please give this season and finale a chance. I am currently re-watching individual episodes to find confirmation of my AU theory, and now season 5 makes sense! Check it out for yourself. I'm sure there will be a TBK mystery in the final episode next week that will make my whole AU theory obvious. But I will write about this separately right after this post.

Looking back now, I think the flurry of spoilers ahead of 518 is literally when RAS went crazy. Because we're incredibly dumb and didn't want to see obvious clues in the narrative.

I will never pull this stone out alone. So, my young archaeologists, arm yourself with hammers and brooms, and help me bring this treasure to the surface completely.

I want to say THANK YOU to Bughead fandom. Because you are amazing. Because you are building theories, you are guessing, you are thinking. Because you spin every situation, you question every plot that happened on the show. And I am overwhelmed with complacency, because the uncovering of the main secret of Season 5 came from the Bughead community. After all, who else besides Bughead can uncover Riverdale's secrets?

And thanks to those who first brought up AU in Riverdale. Because only thanks to this theory, I was able to pull the thread and untangle the whole ball.

It's so liberating. It’s like someone has suddenly turned on the lights in the dark room we’ve been in since the beginning of Season 5.

#riverdale season 5 #riverdale s5 #riverdale spoilers #riverdale speculation #ras genius #riverdale au #bughead #varchie #choni #barchie #veggie #jabitha

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cuddlesslut · 4 years ago

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Part FOUR : Chance Encounters

Atsumu x fem reader, Suna x fem reader, Hinata x fem reader

Tags: slight NSFW, Heavy Angst.

A/N: so this will NOT be the last chapter there will be more. Just like there are more choices now lol, don’t be shy to tell me who you route for. Also let me know if y’all want more NSFW I’m chill with writing it . ALSO slight canon divergence the timing on when Hinata comes back from Brazil is different, obviously in the Manga he’s only gone for two years. In this story it is longer. Hinata isn’t on MSBY yet. Also we are only caught up on 5 months since the dreaded birthday.

Part Three: Memories

Part Five: Friends

You spent your birthday in some hotel room. Sitting on the plush bed still in your dress not bothering to change your curl in to a fetal position as sobs raked through you. Your whole world crashed down on you everything you knew was a lie. Your phone lit up with one last birthday message from some distant relative. You see the time it’s now one in the morning you’ve been laying here for hours you can’t understand how you have any liquid in your body left to cry but still tears trail down your cheeks as you look at your lock screen. It’s a photo from three Christmas’s ago. Atsumu held you close from behind as you pose in front of a festive Christmas tree. Your eyes are shut tight from laughter as the setter places a kiss to your cheek bone, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. This was your favorite photo of the two of you, it always showed the realness in this candid shot. You remember laughing so hard from some cheesy joke he had just whispered in your ear. Your heart twists at the photo, a moment of anger slices through you. Was any of it real? You fling your phone at the wall effectively shattering the screen. You scream into the pillow. You wish you could feel numb to all of the emotions. But no ones that lucky. You aren’t sure when you feel asleep but you wake to find the remnants of tears stuck to your face. You move to the bathroom. You look like death. Your face is pale and eyes swollen and red. Your body aches from the fitful sleep you had. You grab a quick shower before putting on your comfiest pajamas and lay back down. All the energy is drained you look for your phone before remembering your fit of rage last night groan. You switch on the TV for some form of distraction but the gods must really hate you as it opens to a sports channel and you see him in all of his intensity standing on the volleyball court. Part of your brain pleads to change the channel but you must be a masochist as you watch him in all his usual glory. He commands the stadium as he goes up to serve. He looks perfectly fine like you hadn’t just walked out of his life. Like he hadn’t just ripped your world to shreds. You're finally turning the television off sitting in the silence thinking of the memories of your home. You ordered some takeout trying to settle the ache in your stomach. The food tasted bland, everything has lost its edge. The bed offers no comfort. The sunlight offers no warmth. It’s not long before you fall into another depression nap.

Waking up late in the evening you can’t stop your mind from making a stupid decision. But you miss him. You just want to see him. That’s how you end up outside of the door that leads to the home you shared with him. Trying to work up the courage to enter. His car was in his usual spot so you know he's here. A bitter thought run through you at the thought that while you were here he couldn’t be bothered to be home before two am at the earliest, yet the first night gone and here he is at home at ten o’clock. Silently you open the door. It was a mistake. You don’t make it even completely through the threshold before you hear the obnoxious moan and grunts, the sound of skin slapping. It makes you sick “OH Miya-San!” You hear some woman bellow out. You feel nauseous. You hurry out the door trying you best not to cause any noise to interrupt the activities in the house. You bend over you feel as though you’ll throw up right there on the spot. After calming yourself you make a way to a convenience store picking up a bottle of wine before heading back to you hotel room. There’s no way you’ll make it through the night sober.

The next morning you clean your self up before heading to the bank and clear out your joint account. Normally you’d feel bad taking the money but this cash was saved for your wedding and that would never happen now. You stopped by the phone store getting your own account not wanting anymore strings attached to the player. You spend the rest of your morning looking for a small affordable apartment. Luckily you were able to find one with in distance of your school and a reasonable price. It’s now the afternoon and you have to rush not wanting to be late for your class. Although it probably wouldn’t have made a difference if you had missed today, you barely pay attention. You find yourself back with the hotel walls.

You feel completely and utterly alone. You want nothing more to call your best friend or stop by Samu’s shop and cry on his shoulder while you eat some comfort food. But there is hesitation Suna was Atsumu's friend before he was yours, and you'll probably break down in tears just looking at Osamu he was his damn twin for heavens sake. What were you to them you wonder. You only got close to them because of the setter. Part of you wanted to believe that they cared about you and all of those friendships would still be there but you couldn’t. How could they want you around. You really question your place in their lives. It’s hard to trust in anything you had also believed Atsumu loved you and would never hurt you, yet that much was proven untrue. It's hard to trust in anything you feel or know. Another reason is your afraid of all of the memories you shared with them Atsumu ever present in those moments. You don’t want to think about him any more. You don’t want any remnants of that man In your life. While you want to believe Suna would be there for you, that he’d choose you. It was not a risk you were ready to take. You don’t think you could survive another heartbreak. It’s better to leave things as is, to cherish the good memories and not risk tainting them with pain.

It’s been two months since your birthday. You’ve moved into a quaint apartment. You got a job working at a little cafe to pay for rent. Between work and studying for your degree you try to keep yourself busy. It’s hard being on your own. You try to distract yourself with the things that brought you joy. Some days are better than others but all in all everything still hurts. Graduation is only a couple of months away so at least there’s something to look forward too. There are moments that come quite often that you miss your friends but you can’t bring yourself to reach out still untrusting. You look back sometimes and wonder where the lies stopped. You avoid everything that has to do his Atsumu Miya. Even the sight of a simple volleyball brings distress.

Three and half months later the cosmos played another prank on you. It was just another Friday afternoon and you were working in the cafe. You had just helped a young beautiful woman at the counter. She seemed so familiar but you couldn’t quit place it. You could see a puzzled look on her face. Then it hit you. You knew exactly who this woman was. She was the one with your ex fiancé at the restaurant that fateful night. The realization must have struck her too. Her eyes grew wide with worry. Although you weren’t expecting what she did next.

“I AM SO SORRY,” she basically yelling as she bows in front of you. “ I’m so sorry for the part I played in your pain.” She continues. You can tell she is really distressed. You coworkers and a few costumers look at the spectacle. Hating all of the attention now directed toward the both, you beg her to please stand.

“I need you to understand I had no idea, I would never have gone for a taken man.”

You sighed and sent a look to your coworker that you were going to take a quick break. “Would you like a cup of coffee,” you ask her. You never thought That you’d be sitting having coffee with the mistress of the only man you ever loved yet here you are. There’s an awkward silence for a moment. You don’t rush things you can see she’s also having a hard time trying to figure out where to start. You take a sip of your coffee as she finally speaks.

“My names Yuki,” she states.

“YN ,” you offer back.

“Well, umm YN I just want to say I am so sorry for wh-” you cut her off holding up your hand.

“You said you didn’t know, correct?” You send a glance at her raising your eyebrow. She nods.

“Are you still with him?” She sits up straight.

“Absolutely not,” she states with conviction “after you left I asked him what just happed and he explained who you were and I left.. well not with out dumping my drink in face" she gave a little giggle.

“Ha! Oh I wish I could have seen that,” you laughed picturing him drenched in the restaurant. “In that case you have nothing to apologize for, you are a victim of Atsumu’s selfishness as well. I’m sorry he put you through that.” She gave a sad smile you could see she was hurt too. The two of you spent a few more moments in each other’s comfort discussing the facts of his affair. It hurts to know that he had a legitimate relationship with Yuki but a part of you was glad to know. It was a small piece of closure to know how deep his transgressions ran, knowing it wasn’t just sex hurt even more. But it furthered your stance that he didn’t love you and if he had at one point the love had faded on his part some time ago. You spent the rest of your shift plagued with thoughts of you past.

After your shift you went home to change before heading out to your local bar. In your time alone you had taken solace in drinking with strangers. After dressing in an appealing yet comfortable outfit you headed out. You wanted to feel comfy and relaxed but that didn’t stop you from wanting to look nice. In your past visits it wasn’t uncommon for men to try and talk you up and while you did indulge in the compliments none had succeeded in getting you to return home with them. There had yet to be a guy who fully kept your attention away from your former lover.

You found your favorite spot at the bar, just far enough from the blaring music and smokers. You smiled at the bartender before ordering your usual. You sat there letting the liquor relax you as you listened to what music the DJ was playing tonight. Normally you stick to just drinks but after the day you had you need something to take the edge off. After downing a shot of tequila you notice a presence next to you.

“Is this seat taken,” the man smiled at you. You had never seen him here before and you know damn well you would have noticed him before. Although he wasn’t a giant like most of the men you knew in your life, he wasn’t excessively short either you could tell he’d still stand taller than you. You couldn’t lie the man was extremely defined and muscular, you swear his tanned thighs that you saw peeking from under his khaki shorts were bigger than your face. His skin was tanned you can tell from pleanty of time in the sun. He had strong jaw line but his most prominent feature was this bright mop of orange hair he tried to hide under a ball cap. He had a bright smile that reached his alluring brown eyes. It was safe to say he was very handsome. He tilts his head to the side a little smirk reaching his lips. It then you realized you had never responded and just been sitting here gawking.

“Um no it’s not uhh go ahead,” you stammered out feeling a blush creep on to your cheeks at your response. What is this feeling why are you acting like a school girl.

He takes the seat next to you ordering a beer then turning to you reaching out his hand. “ Shoyo Hinata,” he states.

You accept his hand giving it a light shake. “ YN LN,” you responded. “ I’ve never seen you here before Hinata-San,” you prod wanting to know about the stranger.

“Just Shoyo is fine,”he gives you another dazzling smile. “I actually just moved back to Japan,” he states “this is my first time at this bar , but with customers as beautiful as you I’ll definitely have to come more often.” Ohh hes smooth you think. You let out a light chuckle at his compliment although it’s fairly simple compared to some of lines you’ve heard it definitely has the desired affect on you.

“Well then Shoyo where are you traveling from?” Question not wanting the convo to stop.

“I just got back from Brazil,” he mused that signature smile never far from his face.

“Wow Brazil! That’s so far was it hard to be so far from home?”you questioned.

The conversation with Hinata flowed effortlessly. Pleanty of laughes shared as he told you countless stories of his time in South America. Being in conversation with him is like talking to the sun it’s so bright and happy. He does eventually mention playing beach volleyball and for a moment you mind thinks of your ex but it then you realized it was the first time since Sho made his appearance that you had thought of the setter. It felt nice to finally have your mind clearing from the twin. As of recent at any mention of volleyball you would have ended the convo making an excuse to leave, yet you didn’t want to, plus beach volleyball is completely different than regular volleyball you reason.

Time passes by as well do several drinks. You are by no means drunk just a little tipsy. Over the course of your talking the space between Hinata started to narrow. Right now you were so close you could smell his cologne and the slight minty scent of his breath. His hand caressed your elbow. Your breath hitched when he finally leaned in “do wanna get out of here?,” you can see his iris’s darken ever so slightly. “We can go back to my place,” he continued.

Several thoughts ran threw your mind in that moment. One, you were nervous, you hadnt been with anyone other than Atsumu. Two, you were sure you weren’t ready for a relationship but it was just sex it’s not like he’s asking on a romantic vacation. And three you wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against yours. “Absolutely.”

That’s how you got to where you are now. You barely made it through the threshold before Hinata had you pinned to the door. You were locked in a searing kiss. It was like he was stealing the air from your lungs. His hands roamed your figure before slipping under your blouse. “You are absolutely gorgeous,” he breaths before pressing a kiss under your jaw trailing down you neck. You place you hands on his shoulders trying to ground yourself. You let out a loud moan as he gives a bite to your shoulder while grabbing a hand full of you breast. He smiled into you neck with pleasure from the sounds you made. The two of you stumbled a bit as you started making your way to his room shedding clothes left and right. The door closed to the bedroom and you were ready for a mindblowing night.

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stufftippywrote · 4 years ago

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infinities within infinities

"Don't get me wrong," Xie Lian says, "I'm really grateful for the donation, but I don't think it's right to name the library after me."

But the man in the three-piece suit seems insistent. "You're a groundbreaking force in the world of philosophy," he says ardently. "I've read your Man, Thrice Ascended at least ten times. What you have to say about the concept of self as the infinite is revolutionary." He grins. The leather of the eyepatch over his right eye gleams in the sunlight. "The least you deserve is to have libraries named after you."

Xie Lian looks him over. This Hua Cheng is known as a reclusive billionaire, but there’s nothing withdrawn about him now, as he surveys Xie Lian with a bright eye. Instead, he’s almost preternaturally relaxed, hands in his pockets, smiling as bright as if he’d captured the sun. Despite the money and the insistent words, there’s nothing intimidating about him.. Xie Lian rather likes him.

“Well, thank you, I suppose, Mr. Hua,” he says carefully. He still isn’t sure about the Xie Philosophy Library concept. He looks up at the building and tries to imagine his name on the placard; it just seems preposterous. The dreams of a very young graduate student who thought he could change the whole nature of philosophy. Now, a fool’s wish. That it would be granted so suddenly, and by the young man in front of him who can’t be out of his twenties? Unimaginable.

“No need to thank me,” Hua Cheng says, shaking his head. “The very least I could do. Do you need a ride anywhere, Professor?”

Hua Cheng’s car might as well be a spaceship for how much it sticks out among the dumpy minivans and compact cars that surround it in the parking lot. Black, sleek, and gleaming, it truly seems to have beamed here from some point in a glittering future. Hua Cheng unlocks it with the touch of a button, and then, with another, the passenger side door swings open of its own volition. Xie Lian peeks inside. The interior is black as well, but for some touches that stand out in burning crimson.

“Go on, Professor.” Hua Cheng is leaning on his side of the car, casting a sideways glance at him. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Xie Lian obeys, ducking his head to get in. “You really needn’t call me Professor,” he says as Hua Cheng joins him on the driver’s side.

“What should I call you, then?” Hua Cheng’s smile is devastatingly brilliant, and Xie Lian is glad he’s sitting, because his knees have just gone to jelly. “I could call you gege, if it’s not too informal.”

He’s teasing -- at least, Xie Lian thinks he’s teasing -- but honestly the word comes out of his mouth more naturally than professor, and Xie Lian likes the sound of it better. “Gege is fine,” he says lightly.

“But in return,” Hua Cheng says, starting up the car, “you have to call me San Lang.”

“Why?” There’s something buzzing in Xie Lian’s brain now about the concept of naming, what we call ourselves versus what others call us, but he shunts it aside.

“Why do you think?” The car pulls out of its space, and a low rumble echoes in Xie Lian’s gut as it starts to navigate the parking lot. Hua Cheng is glancing at him between peeks in the rearview mirror. “You know what they say about us billionaires, we’re eccentric. Humor me.”

“Very well, San Lang,” Xie Lian replies, and he likes the sound of that, too.

It’s ten minutes of buzzing around the downtown streets before Xie Lian realizes he never gave a destination. “San Lang,” he says carefully, “where are we going?”

“Here and there,” Hua Cheng says. “I want to pick your brain about Man, Thrice Ascended.”

“Oh.” Xie Lian is flattered, and honestly the concept of riding around aimlessly in this sleek machine appeals to him. “Go right ahead, then.”

“To tell you the truth,” Hua Cheng says, “I have trouble wrapping my head around the concept of the self as infinite. Unless you believe in a higher power, the concept of self seems painfully finite to me, as it only exists between birth and death. Isn’t that a pretty limited span?”

“Only temporally,” Xie Lian replies. “Did you know that there are 22 million seconds in the average lifetime?”

“22 million is a lot, but it’s not infinity,” Hua Cheng counters.

“Ah, but a second isn’t instantaneous. Seconds take time. If you’ve ever tried to hold a plank for more than a minute, you know that well.” And he really does look like the type who could hold it. If not for two. “The unit of time I’d rather use is the moment.”

Hua Cheng glances at him. The car pulls onto the highway. “The moment?” he asks, gently spurring Xie Lian forward.

“Exactly,” Xie Lian says. “The moment is instantaneous. Maybe there are hundreds of millions of moments in the span of a single second of time. Maybe more than that. We can conceptualize, then, that each second of a lifetime contains within it infinite moments, and each lifetime 22 million infinities.”

“But a moment is hardly an appreciable measure of time,” Hua Cheng says. “How many moments can we experience as moments with our limited consciousness? The moments experienced are still finite to the mind of the human who tries to count them. Even if you count as fast as you can, you can’t count to 100 within the space of a single second, much less infinity.”

“You’re asking good questions,” Xie Lian comments.

Hua Cheng glows a little. “I told you, I’ve read the book a thousand times.”

“Well, if you did read the book, then you know that our concept of moments here is merely a framework.” They’re driving along the coast now, the bay blue and the sun starting its daily fizzle from yellow to red. “The infinities that truly populate the self are not of time, but of possibility.”

“Infinite choice in each moment.” Hua Cheng nods. “Explain it to me one more time, please, won’t you, gege?”

There’s a little plaintive moan in his voice - just a sliver of an entreaty - and it gives Xie Lian the goosebumps. Here is someone who’s truly appreciating his work, and he’s pleasant to look at and his voice is pleasant to the ear, and Xie Lian is reeling with how much good sensation is rolling into him with every second of this drive. It’s like the best of good dreams, and he doesn’t want to think of it ending.

“In any moment -- and I do mean moment, with our earlier definition,” he says, “I could lean to the left. I could lean to the right. I could blink. I could lean to the left but just a little bit harder. I could think of the color red. I could think of the color blue. I could speak. I could stay silent. I could open the door and throw myself out of this car, if I wanted.”

“Please don’t,” Hua Cheng interjects, sounding a little unnerved.

“It’s just a possibility,” Xie Lian reminds him. “There are, essentially, an infinite number of things I could do with each moment of my life. Each of them takes some time, but the process of choosing is instantaneous. So you have infinite possibilities in every single moment of infinite moments.”

“Not infinite possibilities," counters Hua Cheng. "What you decide to do in one moment, as you said, takes time. The time it takes to perform that action necessarily negates the infinite nature of the next moment. You can’t make certain decisions while performing other actions.”

“Your possibilities are still infinite in each moment,” Xie Lian argues. “Just because some actions can’t be taken doesn’t mean there aren’t still infinite possibilities open to you. Think of numbers. An infinite number of numbers end in the digit 4. It’s still an infinite set, even though numbers that end in the digit 5 aren’t included.”

Hua Cheng frowns. “Perhaps my limited mind isn’t fully able to capture it,” he says after a time. “You’re very impressive, gege.”

Heat blooms in Xie Lian’s cheeks. “Thus,” he says, “we have the three ascensions. When the mind is able to grasp the concept of infinity within limited time, it ascends once. The second ascension comes when one accepts that infinite actions can be performed within that limited time. And the third ascension…”

“...is when the mind grasps that the possibilities are infinite for each of an infinite number of moments,” Hua Cheng fills in. “Infinities within infinities, all within the self.”

They’ve pulled off to a scenic outlook point on the bay. Hua Cheng eases the car into one of three parking spots and turns off the engine. He turns to Xie Lian. “Gege always explains it so well,” he says brightly. “Thank you for indulging me.”

Xie Lian can feel the flush creeping into his cheeks. He looks away. “You’re welcome.”

Another beep, and the car’s doors are opening again. Hua Cheng gets up, rounds the car to Xie Lian’s side, and holds out his hand.

They stand for a time side by side, watching the reddening sun dip its toes into the rippling water of the bay. There’s a strange peace to standing here, Xie Lian thinks, with this person he barely knows but is so ardent about his work. I’m safe. I’m appreciated. The sureness of that is unexpected but so, so welcome. Xie Lian thinks back, trying to remember the last time he felt that way. He can’t recall.

“It’s beautiful,” he murmurs. Cars thunder past on the road behind them.

“This is one of my favorite spots,” Hua Cheng says. “I’m always taken by the vastness of the ocean here. It seems so full.” He gestures down to where the water buffets the base of the cliffs below them. “Like it’s a moment from overflowing.”

Xie Lian ponders this. “I’ve never thought of the ocean as full or not,” he says. “The implication being that no more water can be added; that it’s complete as is, existing within its bounds.”

“It’s a philosophical puzzle, isn’t it?” says Hua Cheng lightly. “Of course, climate change is solving it as we speak. Rising sea levels and all. It seems the ocean has the potential to be boundless, even as we denote lines between sea and shore.”

“And the question then becomes, how accurately can we draw those lines? And is it human folly to even attempt to do so?”

“Of course,” Hua Cheng says, “none of these problems has practical application.”

Xie Lian laughs. “Most of philosophy has no practical application. That’s why it’s philosophy.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Hua Cheng replies. “Your philosophy has had effects on my psychology, at the very least. To think of myself as infinite has changed the way I look at the world.”

“And how does it look?” Xie Lian inquires, tilting his head.

Hua Cheng gazes at him, then turns back to face the sea. “Boundless,” he says.

Xie Lian nods. The wind whips past them, whispering coldly against his cheeks and ears. He shudders.

Without a word, Hua Cheng removes his long coat and drapes it over Xie Lian’s shoulders. The coat is warm with his body heat, and all that heat seeps into Xie Lian in a rush. He draws in a breath. When Hua Cheng’s fingers touch his neck to adjust the collar, he wants to shiver again, this time not from the cold.

“Gege.” Hua Cheng’s honey-rich, low voice touches his ear like the strains of a cello. “Would you let me take you someplace nice?”

Xie Lian looks out at the darkening bay. He thinks of the view from his office window, the wall of an adjoining brick building. He could go back there, write and read until the early morning hours. Perhaps he would sleep on the cot he’s laid out in there. Staring at the mottled ceiling, contemplating eternity.

Or he could go with Hua Cheng, who is holding out his hand, looking hopeful.

Xie Lian takes it.

They drive for another 10 minutes along the coast, then take an exit into an area filled with green fields. Huge houses dot the landscape -- this is the domain of the super-rich, Xie Lian thinks, because these fields aren’t used for farming. They’re simply green as far as the eye can see, well-manicured, sometimes interrupted by copses of grand old trees with outstretched branches. Some of the houses are surrounded by lush flower gardens. It’s not an area Xie Lian’s ever been too, nor does it seem like the kind of place he would want to live. But it’s fascinating just to see it for the first time.

Hua Cheng pulls down a narrow road, then turns onto another. Xie Lian squints as he makes out something odd on the horizon. Whatever it is, it’s silver, and a cluster of buildings sit low and flat around it. When wide concrete paths start to interrupt the endless greenery, he realizes what he’s looking at.

“I thought,” he says gingerly, “when you said someplace nice, you meant a fancy restaurant.”

“We can go to a restaurant,” Hua Cheng answers airily. He pulls the car into the yard, and they park. Holding Xie Lian’s fingers loosely, he leads him along the paths toward the airfield. The private jet sits on the runway like a horse at the gate, already humming. A movable staircase leads up to the main entrance. A number of people are working around it. One of them sees the pair approaching and offers Hua Cheng a bow.

“How soon can we be ready?” Hua Cheng asks him.

“Twenty minutes,” the man says. “We’ve been prepping since we got your text.”

Xie Lian wonders when Hua Cheng had managed to text them. “This is your plane?” A silly question; Hua Cheng nods easily, as though everyone has a private airfield with a jet ready to go at any moment. “Where are you taking me?”

Hua Cheng meets his gaze with a smile. “Where would you like to go? Tokyo? Hong Kong? Thailand is stunning this time of year.”

“San Lang,” Xie Lian starts, his heart pounding. Hua Cheng smiles that much more widely at the sound of the name. “Isn’t this a little…”

“Much?” Hua Cheng finishes for him. “Not at all. Not for gege.” He lays a hand on the small of Xie Lian’s back -- Xie Lian gasps at the touch -- and ushers him forward until they are both standing at the bottom of that staircase, the airplane’s door a wide unblinking eye at the top. Hua Cheng bows and makes a gesture with his hand toward the staircase -- after you.

Xie Lian’s brain rockets into high gear. He has brought nothing with him but his briefcase, and even that is still in the car. No one knows where he is or where he’s going. He’s traveled a little in life -- nothing too far from home -- but this would be a trip like no other, totally unplanned and utterly irresponsible. Every ounce of common sense in his brain is urging him to shake his head politely and back away.

But this man. This fascinating man, who is offering him the world. For every voice inside Xie Lian that says no, there’s a current of pulsing blood in his veins whispering yes, yes.

“I’m not sure,” he begins, tentatively.

“Gege,” Hua Cheng murmurs, “You speak of self as containing an infinity of possibilities for every moment of life. But the paradox of infinity is that some infinities are larger than others. At this moment, you have more possibilities than ever before. Given those infinite possibilities, at this moment, what will you choose?”

He’s right. The possibilities facing him right now are truly endless. And hidden in Hua Cheng’s words, there is a challenge -- do you dare? And Xie Lian finds, to his surprise, that he does. He not only dares, he wants. To see this through, to learn more about this man, to take a crazy chance. His heart is pounding with the force of his desire. And once, just once in his studious, conservative life, he listens to it.

He smiles at Hua Cheng, lifts one hand to the railing of the staircase, and begins to ascend.

#hualian #hualian fic #hualian au #tgcf #tgcf fic #tgcf au #heaven official's blessing #heaven official's blessing fic #stuff tippy wrote

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dimpledpran · 3 years ago

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Bad Buddy Episode 11 rant. Let’s go.

Honestly after that preview, I’ve kinda forgotten 3/4 of the episode. All I rmb now is the ep12 preview (WHICH I HATE), and the problems with the subs. It was a great episode, but it’s just a tad bit tainted now. 😔 Also way too many tears in one episode. We did get a mixture of happy, sad, relieved, worried tears, but still nooooo.

1) Was totally not expecting a runaway situation. I genuinely thought it was a tiny getaway to escape the current stress. Like a “let’s have this weekend just for ourselves before we get back and tackle our parent’s drama”. So that threw me off. But either way I’m glad they got the chance to be themselves and not worry about things for a tiny bit.

2) Was totally not expecting to be judged for my bubble tea and food deliveries. I am trying to be more conscious though. Even got a reusable bubble tea mug and straw for work!

3) Pran finally had his love declaration. The way he shows love to Pat has always been (significant but) tiny whispers, so the fact that he actually did something so loud, I LOVE IT!!

4) I’m not sure if they have some hidden scenes from this ep that will only be shown next week, but I just wished Pran was a bit more honest with Pat. He clearly was missing his mum and was more inclined to go back than Pat was. And I think Pat also knew that and was ready to accept it and not judge him for it. So it is disheartening to see that he did the same with Pat, as what he always does. He hid his emotions and thoughts and just went along with Pat’s plan. Because that’s what he always has been told to do, follow what his mum says. For a couple that have had such open communication so far, I was sad to see that happen in this episode. This was the moment the communication was crucial. Because they are totally on different pages and there is so much hanging on the line.

5) I mean they kept calling it their honeymoon, so we all knew that it was going to happen right?? They made it so soft, with Pran being the creepy person who stares at their partner sleep. (Was not expecting that) And then the panic when Pat wakes up alone and goes to find Pran… The soft smile Pran gives and Pat’s teary eyes when he has that realization, that wake up call when reality hits, it was brutal.

6) I JUST WISH THAT WHEN PRAN WENT UP TO THAT STAGE TO PLAY HIS SONG, IT MEANT THAT HE MADE HIS CHOICE! It felt like he has always stayed away from playing the guitar because in his mind that was the reason he was sent away. The guitar reminds him of his mum’s disapproval and how he was upheaved from the life he knew and thrown into a new place. So the fact that he finished the song and readily went to play it, I thought he was choosing Pat, he was choosing himself and his dreams and his passion. SO WHY DID WE HAVE ALL THAT EP12 PREVIEW?? Also, with the whole junior and his mum parallel, what was the point? Please tell me we are missing a puzzle piece? Tell me that there was a scene that we were not shown, that will appear in the next episode. Tell me that it made Pran realise that his mum (at the end of the day) has his interest at heart and so will finish his uni education and then set off to live his truth.

7) WE GOT INKPHA AND WAIKORN?!?! No complaints, but for the love of god PatPran has to have a happy ending!! Otherwise nothing else matters.

8) The ending of ep11 was honestly so good! I was watching it with my fingers covering my mouth and just shaking in my bed. That montage of what could have been was so heartwarming. And of course my heart just plunged down from 1000 to -10000 in a split second when we got to the preview.

I’m just really hoping that Ep 12 goes in either one of two ways. Firstly we get something like ATOTS where they both mutually agree to take a break while they finish their education, with the full intention of getting back together after graduating when they have more freedom and are able to support themselves. Or they just get really better at hiding their relationship. I will not be accepting any other ending. Even if they decide to go down a season 2 route, please have a happy resolution.

#bad buddy #bad buddy series #asianlgbtqdrama #so this turned out to be longer than I expected #also did that scene with Pat wearing the red Bar uniform feel very rushed? even from a production POV?#the camera was shaky and with Pat rubbing his eyes at one point #it felt choppy?#PatPran #bad buddy rambles #mine #other show rambles #badbuddy.tp #mine:bb

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tiriansjewel · 4 years ago

Text

find it here on Spotify!

lyric explanations below the cut! (click images for better quality)

1. The 1 by Taylor Swift

“But it would've been fun

If you would've been the one”

As we start the playlist, Luke and Alex are taking a wistful look back on their relationship in the 90s now that they’ve moved on to other people.

2. Coming Clean by Green Day

“Seventeen and strung out on confusion

Trapped inside a roll of disillusion

I found out what it takes to be a man

Now mom and dad will never understand”

Back in the 90s, both Luke and Alex are coming to terms with their sexualities.

3. Smells Like Teen Spirit

“With the lights out, it's less dangerous

Here we are now, entertain us”

Sunset Curve were working towards popularity right at the height of the grunge scene, and I would assume that both Luke and Alex heard quite a bit of this song as teenagers.

4. Now or Never by Sunset Curve

“Keep dreaming like we'll live forever

But live it like it's now or never”

How could I not include Sunset Curve’s own song? They like living in the moment, and that includes their love lives.

5. Everlong by the Foo Fighters

“And I wonder

If everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you

You've got to promise not to stop when I say when”

When you go through adolescence, you crave intimacy with other people. This song exemplifies what Luke and Alex want from each other- to be able to feel, and to be able to experience those feelings on a deeper level.

6. Ocean Size by Jane’s Addiction

“Wish I was ocean size

They cannot move you, man

No one tries

No one pulls you

Out from your hole

Like a tooth aching a jawbone”

Jane’s Addiction was another LA rock band of this time period, and these lyrics about wanting to be powerful like the ocean and having to leave your home really remind me of Luke.

7. All Apologies by Nirvana

“What else should I be?

All apologies

What else should I say?

Everyone is gay”

This song is Kurt Cobain ironically apologizing for his cynical attitude, including the line “everyone is gay” to mock homophobes. It reminds me of Alex- he doesn’t want to be “married and buried”; he is rebelling against his parents’ definition of a correct lifestyle.

8. Freaking Out The Neighborhood by Max DeMarco

“And I know it's no fun

When your first son

Gets up to no good

Starts freaking out the neighborhood”

Emily Patterson and Alex’s mom were probably both pretty appalled by their sons effectively joining the counterculture. At this point, both Luke and Alex are starting to express themselves more, comfortable in who they are and what they want.

9. Hangout With You by Diners

“All I want

Is to talk with you now

And I know that you've got time

You are constantly on my mind

Yes I know that you've got time

To hang out with me

Tonight”

Luke has begun to realize that he likes Alex, and in true Luke fashion, can’t stop thinking about it.

10. Affection by Between Friends

“I'm laying on the floor

We're drinking 'cause we're bored

Oh, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places

And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces”

One night, it all comes out- their feelings and desires- and they decide to begin some kind of friends with benefits type of situation. This song feels like it’s from Luke’s perspective to me.

11. gold rush by Taylor Swift

“What must it be like

To grow up that beautiful?

With your hair falling into place like dominos

I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors

With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door

At dinner parties

I call you out on your contrarian shit

And the coastal town

We wandered 'round had never

Seen a love as pure as it

And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea

'Cause you know it could never be”

Luke is a magnetic person, attracting everyone, and Alex finds him beautiful. He is in awe of him, but he’s also scared about having feelings he doesn’t know how to handle. This song kind of shows Alex’s internal monologue.

12. Can We Kiss Forever? by Kina

“I tried to reach you, I can't hide

How strong's the feeling when we dive

I crossed the ocean of my mind

My wounds are healing with the salt

All my senses intensified

Whenever you and I, we dive”

This song describes their first kiss, obscured from the world, in my mind. Plus, there’s ocean metaphors. You can’t go wrong with that.

13. 18 by Anarbor

“So if you wanna piss off your parents

Date me to scare them

Show them you're all grown up

If long hair and tattoos are what attract you

Baby, then you're in luck

And I know it's just a phase

You're not in love with me

You wanna piss off your parents, baby

That's alright with me”

Luke knows Alex isn’t in love with him, but they both want to try new things. Bonus points for this song having references to frayed parent-child relationships.

14. Boys Will Be Boys by Miles McKenna

“That graduation day, it never came for you and me

Couple drop-out kids, a shotgun wedding's all we need

Sorry, Mom, Sorry, Dad

Better luck next time

A couple packs a day, pierced nose and tattoos on our legs

No strangers to pretend, we've always been too proud to beg

Sorry, Mom, Sorry, Dad

Better luck next time

Boys will be boys”

This song referencing a “couple of drop out kids” just going with the flow made me think of how Sunset Curve probably never would have finished high school.

15. Just Like You by Three Days Grace

“You thought you were there to guide me, you were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

I could be mean

I could be angry

You know I could be just like you.”

Both Luke and Alex have tons of resentment for their parents, obviously.

16. Sunstroke by Less Than Jake

“We've all been living proof

That time won't wait or choose

We know it ticks on without me and you

And I can't have both sides

Letting go or holding tight

I'm burning bright tonight”

This song about being stubborn and time not waiting really reminded me of Luke, plus the foreshadowing of them becoming ghosts and adapting to a whole new world.

17. Saint Bernard by Lincoln

“Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you

But he's got his own things to deal with

There's really just one thing that we have in common

Neither of us will be missed”

This song just made me think about Alex and his Catholic guilt.

18. Bedroom Hymns by Florence and the Machine

“This is a good a place to fall as any

We'll build our altar here

Make me your Maria

I'm already on my knees

You had Jesus on your breath

And I caught Him in mine

Sweating out confessions

The undone and the divine

This is his body, this is his love

Such selfish prayers and I can't get enough, oh”

Part 2 of Alex and his Catholic guilt. Their relationship has become more carnal, and this song maybe gives a little of Alex’s perspective into that time.

19. Church by Fall Out Boy

“And if death is the last appointment

Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room

I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom

If you were church, yeah

I'd get on my knees”

Here ends the trilogy of songs with religious references. This song is heady and sensual and also includes some nice foreshadowing of their deaths.

20. Bros by Wolf Alice

“Shake your hair, have some fun

Forget our mothers and past lovers, forget everyone

Oh, I'm so lucky, you are my best friend

Oh, there's no one, there's no one who knows me like you do

Are your lights still on?

I'll keep you safe

If you keep me strong”

Here’s another song from Luke’s perspective- talking about forgetting mothers, being best friends, and keeping Alex safe, as long as Alex keeps him strong.

21. Slip Away by Perfume Genius

“Don't look back, I want to break free

If you'll never see 'em coming You'll never have to hide

Take my hand, take my everything

If we only got a moment

Give it to me now

They'll never break the shape we take

Baby, let all them voices slip away”

Alex struggles with losing his family over his sexuality, and Luke helps him through it.

22. Make Out In My Car by Sufjan Stevens

“I'm not trying to

Go to bed with you

I just wanna make out in my car

And though I'm dying to

Fall in love with you

I just wanna make out in my car”

Another great song about just wanting to exist with someone, about wanting touch and feel and create. They don’t want to fall in love, they just want to be.

23. I Exist I Exist I Exist by Flatsound

“I remember the way you shook

Its a shame that we're not soul mates

Because if i didn't know better

I'd say this feels pretty good

How could i be scared?

When i stretch and feel that you're there

So shut your mouth

Because these words will speak themselves

I can feel them in these blankets

And they're surrounding your figure

Embraced in the quilts

And i cant help but think

You're my missing puzzle piece”

This song is so beautiful- with references to helping a partner through anxiety, and being just like ones mother... a lot of this dynamic in my mind is Luke and Alex reminding each other that they exist, that life is wide and bright, that they’re alive. This gives a window into Luke’s inner feelings as well.

24. Come on, Mess Me Up by Cub Sport

“I found comfort, I fell in love with avoiding problems

But I want this, you know I want this

So come on, mess me up

And you can break me, if you'll still take me

Ruin me, if you'll let me be one of the ones you say you won't forget”

At some point, they become more reckless about their feelings, a little less level headed about their arrangement. Intimacy is an escape.

25. Please Never Fall In Love Again by Ollie MN

“This is what it's like to be lovers

You and me need never be lonely again

Spin with me endlessly or at least until the end

Please never fall in love again”

As usually happens with these arrangements, feelings are caught. Luke and Alex consider making things more serious.

26. Can I Call You Tonight? by Dayglow

“Batteries drain, I get the memo

I think that I might have to let you go

So can I call you tonight?

I'm trying to make up my mind

Just how I feel

Could you tell me what's real?”

The end of their relationship is near, and Alex is unsure. You can decide if this takes place before or after they die.

27. Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

“I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't wanna fall in love with you”

Eventually these relationships all start to feel like games, don’t they?

28. Perfect by The Smashing Pumpkins

“So far I still know who you are

But now I wonder who I was

Angel, you know it's not the end

We'll always be good friends”

Another song about the end of a relationship, and finding yourself again. There’s a bit of resentment there, but they are learning to be friends again.

29. Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy

“Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight

Let the fire breathe me back to life

Baby you were my picket fence

I miss missing you, now and then”

They’ve gotten over each other and become friends again, but are still nostalgic for the past. Bonus points for references about coming back to life.

30. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day

“For what it's worth

It was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable

But in the end it's right

I hope you had the time of your life”

Ah yes, the song everyone uses to commemorate bittersweet ends- it’s the perfect clincher for this playlist.

I hope you all enjoy listening!

#julie and the phantoms #lalex #jatp #luke patterson #alex mercer #jatp playlist #luke/alex #playlist #my edit

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florenceandthemachine · 4 years ago

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that original lifeline

chapter 5 / 5 - “you deserve what you are given” - 3.6k

in which Eddie has a good day, has a bad day, sees a familiar face, and tries not to blow up an ambulance. not necessarily in that order.

it’s all done! my first ever standalone, prompt-free fic! I hope you all at least tolerated it as much as I did. I also would like to say—please, if you’re seeing things that look messy or need to be touched up, you’re welcome to let me know. I'm sure I'm going to go over it and re-edit a million times over the next week.

read on AO3

Eddie knew that things were going to be different the moment he slapped his alarm the next morning, because for the first time in months, he actually turned his alarm off. He didn’t lie in bed and ignore it, he didn’t hit snooze until he could get the energy to see the day, he turned it off, he got up, and he started to dress. He couldn’t remember the last time he had greeted a Monday on time for an early morning workout, but the few miles he was able to get in on the treadmill was nothing compared to the look of happiness on his son’s face when he got to join him and Carla for breakfast—instead of running out the door, a granola bar lodged in his mouth. He literally felt like he just woke up on the right side of the bed this morning; judging by the way that Chris lit up, and Carla rose her brows in surprise, his change in attitude was already being noticed.

Even if Carla was good enough not to comment on it.

Honestly, Eddie didn’t know what was going on himself, but he wasn’t going to complain. A day ago, he had almost started to cry at one of those family car commercials with an old dog in it, and today, he was already back into the familiar motions of ‘being well’.

He had been through enough therapy in his life to know the “highs and lows” mental health speech every which way, but what he hadn’t realized until this morning was that when you were low, being low becomes your new normal. Eddie had been through it before (with Shannon, with his parents, with… name a thing), and he knew it would probably come again, but that didn’t make the moments that he got to stand in the light on the other side of the tunnel any less sweet.

It felt like he was standing in the sun.

“Morning Hen! Coffee?” Eddie grinned as he took the stairs up into the loft two at a time, box of danishes in one hand, coffee holders stacked high in the other. He had literally been smiling since he parked his car outside, and was now beaming at Hen only because she was lucky enough to be the first person he got to see that day. Lucky, sure, but he still didn’t miss the way that her brows rose into her hair as she took her cup and her selection of baked goods, knowing full well that this was probably… a lot to take in from his behavior for the past many weeks.

“You’re… cheery.” Hen commented easily, staring at Eddie like a puzzle to figure out—and while that would have made him nervous before, it was actually kind of nice now, a friend showing that she cared.

To his credit, Eddie just shrugged, pulling off another coffee as he put the boxes down on the table, knowing full well they would be devoured before he could even look back. “What can I say? It’s a good day today, the sun is out, and I only have to be here for eight hours. Hey, where’s Chim? I got Mr. Asian James Bond an extra bear claw, since he’s been driving everyone up the wall with his whole sorority girls speech.”

Hen let the topic drop (and Eddie thanked her silently for it) as she groaned and shook her head, taking another drag from her coffee cup as, sure enough, the pastry boxes started to draw everyone in like flies. He started handing out coffees to those who’s orders he could remember, grinning as Hen launched into it. “No no, ‘Asian James Bond’ was last week, now it’s ‘Asian Sex Symbol’ to you. God, that stupid calendar, between he and Bobby I am ready to enter myself, blow them both out of the water as Miss July, and—”

“Hey, hold up, where’s Bosko?” Eddie said, cutting her off before she could pick up too much steam, staring at the last coffee in his hands as Bobby pulled his own free.

Hen and Bobby shared a glance as Bobby cleared his throat around a mouthful of coffee, swallowing before he started to speak. “Actually, Lena’s back with the 136 for the foreseeable future. I’m happy to say that we finally have that vacancy filled.”

Eddie felt his brows launch into his hairline, only vaguely remembering that Lena was supposed to be here on a temporary basis—and he had been a complete ass to her for the past few months. Well, that was going to be a fun little addition to his long list of issues, and he winced as he made a mental note to swing by the 136 later on with another danish and an apology. Hen caught the look, her own brow tilting in return, though she was good enough to redirect her attention back up to Bobby. “So, wait, who’s going to be the newbie on the 118?”

“He is walking up the stairs right now, if you want to turn around. Just graduated out of the Academy last week. Pretty much top of his class, apparently impressed enough people that I had to fight off station 6 to get him to come here—welcome, Evan Buckley.”

“Hey, uh, you can just call me Buck.”

Eddie almost choked on his coffee as he heard a voice behind him, grabbing a napkin to catch a few drops as he turned, trying to repress his cough as he turned around, meeting a pair of blue eyes, staring at Eddie with an intensity that made his insides curl like he had just been sucker punched. He didn’t say anything, of course, just reached out and shook hands, introduced himself, did the whole shebang—with a smile, he might add!

Today was a good day. It could still be a good day. It really, really had the potential to be a good day.

Today was not a good day.

Eddie wanted to work well with Buck, he really did, but every time Buck opened his mouth, all Eddie could feel was pressure, water pushing in on him at every angle, the choking taste of mud in his mouth. At this point in time, Eddie wasn’t sure what was worse—that Buck seemed to put his foot in his mouth whenever he talked to Eddie, or the fact that he didn’t seem to give a fuck where and when he was flapping his yap.

An exploding man hole cover literally knocking someone’s arm into the nearby pool? He had barely started with “Hey, you good? You must have lucked out after that firetruck and all…” before Eddie was talking over him, asking for gauze and a tourniquet to try and save some of the live tissue in the very-much-not-alive arm.

A stab wound to the ass that resulted in the most lifelike Michelin man that Eddie had ever seen? “So, silver star, huh? You save a platoon or something?” Eddie managed to smile, jaw tight as he shook his head. “No, nothing like that. I was just in convoy.”

Even their downtime wasn’t safe—a grocery run that wound up with the entire team stacked high with grocery bags as they walked back into the station? “Hey, I saw a piece about that drill—“

“Alright, who wants lunch?” Eddie was immensely thankful for Bobby’s distraction, not bothering to hide the fact that his interruption was far from a coincidence. By now, even Hen was looking at Buck like he was a crazy person at that point—or maybe just an asshole.

Somehow, after all of their calls, it only came to a head in the gym. Apparently, Buck had decided that the subtle approach (not that anything Buck did could be called subtle) wasn’t good enough, and for whatever reason decided that the gym was the best time to approach Eddie.

Honestly, if Eddie wasn’t a good thirty away from the first real workout he had had in weeks, he probably would have walked away.

“Eddie, you… you know who I am, right?”

His jaw twitching in time with his punches, Eddie finally relented from the poor bag and looked at Buck directly, jaw set as he started to rewrap his hands. “And what if I didn’t? You think this would have gone over well with HR, the new guy bringing up the worst days of my life and all but asking me about a fucking guardian angel?”

“Jesus, that’s not what I—“

“I met Athena.”

Eddie could almost hear Buck’s mouth shut, the clack of his teeth somehow louder than the din of the station behind him. “I met her and she told me that she didn’t know what had happened, and then she offered to make me forget. Forget about you, about everything, because not even she knew where you had wound up.” Eddie started, rolling his wrists easily. “She apologized to me, she said she missed you, well, not that she was alone in that sense. You should probably find a way to apologize to her, too. Let her know you’re okay. Hold the bag.” Eddie’s voice was low even as his tone started to sharpen, doing his absolute best to keep his face neutral, lest he want any attention from Hen or Bobby for harassing the new guy.

To Buck’s credit, he did as Eddie asked, holding the bag steady as Eddie started to wail on it anew, thankful that he at least had the temporary distraction of pressure against his knuckles to stop the urge to scream into the sky.

“Athena… she really did that?” Eddie didn’t respond, just threw another punch, grunting with the exertion. Buck’s voice was low, barely louder than the sound of Eddie’s hands making contact with the bag. “Is that what you want? An apology? Because I’m not going to apologize for saving you, Eddie, I’m not going to say sorry for not leaving you in the bottom of a pit to… I’m not sorry for that. So if that’s what you’re after, I don’t know what to offer you.”

Eddie threw a kick from his left, giving Buck plenty of time to adjust his grip before his ankle came smashing into the bag, panting as he stared Buck down, feeling the anger start to drain out of him as he breathed, shaking his head. “Buck, is that what you think this is about?”

Buck, bless him, just looked like a lost puppy when what Eddie said sunk in.

“You saved my life. I mean, you’ve always kept me safe, but back there you saved my life. You let me go home to my kid, you… I could never thank you enough for that. I’m not mad about that.” He shook his head, flexing his fingers as he took another fighting stance, his poster lower, more subdued than the all out attack he was waging before.

“Well then what—“

“I’m not mad at you because you left.” Eddie repeated, starting another round of punches, each hit slower, shorter, but packed with more force than was strictly necessary. “I’m mad at you because you fucking—because you didn’t come back. Because you chose not to come back. You went through the academy, top of the class, and that was eighteen weeks of you being here, just miles away from me in Los Angeles, and you let me think that you were dead that entire time. You were with me my whole entire life, you were a constant, and then I lost you, Buck, and I had to try and live with that. And then you show up at work today, and you’re alive, and human, and I’ve had barely eight hours to deal with all of this, after I—I fucking mourned you. I mourned you, and you let me, and that—that’s why I’m mad.”

Although, the more he spoke, the more Eddie realized that he wasn’t mad, not really, not that he would own up to it that easily. He wasn’t angry, he was just… crushed. His hook got sloppy and he went wide, eyes wild, stumbling only a little before catching himself on the bag.

“Why does everyone leave me? What did I do, Buck, why didn’t you come back?”

The sudden sound of footsteps drew his eye up to the loft where the next shift was pouring in, easily exchanging pleasantries with Eddie’s team, and Eddie felt the last bit of fight drain out of him as he started to unwind his gloves. The day was done. His shift was over. And after feeling nothing but empty for weeks, Eddie had just about exhausted the entire range of his emotional capabilities in less than a day.

“Eddie, I—“

“Forget it, Buck. I’ll see you tomorrow, or whatever.” Eddie said, not even bothering to look over his shoulder as he headed back to the locker area.

“Fire and Rescue, hello?”

Eddie was having another… long day. Not a bad day, not necessarily, but not a… great day either. He had still managed to get up, he had still brought himself to work, he still managed an honest smile when he kissed Chris goodbye, but he found himself hesitating before he wound up walking into the 118. He didn’t know if he could handle Buck again today—thankfully, it seemed like he didn’t have to. Buck was mostly absent that morning, giving Eddie enough apologetic looks over the table to display that he got he had been an asshole the day before (or, more likely, that Hen and Chim had verbally beat that fact into him before Eddie got there).

Their morning had gone off without incident—there had only been one real call outside a few false alarms, a moron with his head literally cemented into a microwave—and to be honest, Eddie couldn’t deny the fact that he loved how easily he and Buck could work together. Well, how easy they worked together when Buck shut up for three minutes.

Another save, an easy lunch, and Eddie’s eight hour shift looked like it would be ending easily when they got the call to head down to Torrence, walking into what felt like the worlds most mothball-scented Army Navy Surplus store.

Eddie felt his body tense up as soon as the word ‘grenade’, having to take a split second to remind himself that he was still in the States, he wasn’t in wartime, he was still safe. Because he was safe, they were okay, until Buck moved the dressings and a gold glint caught his eye.

“None of the guys I’ve worked with were dumb enough to shoot a live round into their own leg, but I’m familiar with the ordinance.”

Eddie felt his jaw twitch again as Buck stared him down, a tic that he was sure would come to be familiar in over the next few days. Honestly, he was starting to think that Buck was just bringing all the mess with him—he had gone months without a call that threatened his life and limb, and then as soon as Buck came back into his life, there he was, with a grenade stuck inside of some old, gun collecting bastard. He could almost feel the moment where Buck opened his mouth—it was the same feeling he got whenever Buck had appeared, years and years ago, whenever something extremely stupid was about to happen.

“I’m in.”

Of course he was.

For what it was worth, Buck had stellar bedside manner. It was easy for him to to make small talk with Charlie while he hung the morphine, asking about his wife, his life, and Eddie found himself a little bit reassured by how easily Buck was able to buckle down and rise to the situation. After all, Buck had been doing that for Eddie’s whole life—it would be a shame if he lost that skill when he could use it the most.

They kept their talk small and professional as Eddie worked, even though most of his work was giving short, clipped orders, like he was afraid that the grenade would be able to tell how stressed out he was and put them both out of their misery, then and there. They both let out a collective sigh of relief as the grenade plunked, solid and heavy into the bin, Buck hastily closing it like a lid would save them all if that thing were to blow up.

Eddie was just finishing up, throwing a few stitches to try and keep things together until Charlie could make it up to surgery when Buck finally found his voice.

“I was scared, Eddie.”

Eddie didn’t even bother looking up, his fingers working quickly. “I know, but we got it out, we just have to be careful not to move the box too much.”

“No. I mean, about coming back, about seeing you, I… I was scared.”

Eddie looked up as he threw another stitch, sparing a quick look to make sure that the old man was still out cold. When Buck looked up to him, Eddie rose his brows, giving him a little not of encouragement.

“You said I’ve been with you your whole life, but… that goes both ways, Eddie. I don’t even know what happened, one minute I had hurled you out of that lake, and the next I was nothing, there was just nothing, and then…” He took a breath as he moved the dressings, letting Eddie continue his easy stitchwort. “And then I was in a loft in Los Angeles, with a drivers license in my pocket and a brochure for the LAFD Academy on a dresser. I still don’t know how I got there, but I knew it would bring me to you.”

“Here, cut here.”

Buck snipped the end of Eddie’s suture easily, passing him a tube of antibacterial gel, dolloping it along the messy wound site.

“For the first time in years, I couldn’t feel you anymore. I didn’t know what you were doing, or how you were feeling, or if you were safe, and it scared me. I missed you, of course I did, but I knew that if I just went right back to you, it would be like nothing had changed, when really, everything had changed.” Eddie looked up as he covered the gel in an adhesive gauze patch, hanging another bag of fluids, eyes tracking between the steady blip of the heart monitor and the very live grenade in a bin at the end of the ambulance, while his brain tried to keep up with the live grenade that he and Buck were lobbing back and forth.

Nodding for Buck to open the back door, Eddie waited until they both had their feet on the ground to respond, rolling his neck. “Well, that’s kind of par for the course. Being scared, I mean.” he started, a small smile on his face as Buck looked back, catching his eye. Eddie shrugged, eye darting over to the rest of their team, still safely out of earshot as he nudged Buck’s shoulder, the motion easy and simple, muscle memory built up over years.

“Welcome to the human condition. It kind of sucks. You’re going to love it.”

And fuck, Buck was smiling again. Eddie would give anything to keep that look on his face, even as they handed Charlie off to the medics, even as the bomb squad guy called in the robot to… well, to do what, Eddie didn’t know. But that was the beauty of it all—he didn’t have to care anymore. All that mattered to him in that moment were his boots on his ground, the air around him, and maybe, if he played his cards right, the team he got to work with. He could feel Bobby’s eyes on him as he pulled his flac jacket off, a little slow on the uptake of whatever had happened in the ambulance.

“You know, you’re pretty badass under pressure.” Eddie said, his face curving up into the first real smile he had worn in days. Buck looked like a deer in the headlights, like Eddie must have been talking to someone, anyone else, and even Bobby cracked a grin as Eddie smacked him in the arm. “You can have my back any day.”

Buck looked, well, Eddie would have framed the look on Buck’s face if he could. It was a vision of pure joy, the simple sentence meaning more to both of them than anyone else could ever know, and Eddie had to resist the urge to pull him into a bone crushing hug as he kicked at the ground.

“Yeah. Or, you know, you could… You could have mine.”

If Eddie smiled any wider, he felt like his face was going to crack.

They were still not great—not by a long shot—but for the first time in almost six months, Eddie finally felt something close to closure, to peace, a starting point for the two of them that would take them both who-knows-where.

“Deal.”

And then, because nothing in Eddie’s life was ever easy, the ambulance exploded. Eddie wasn’t even phased at this point in his life—any exploding vehicle was fine by him as long as he wasn’t on it.

“Are, uh, are you guys hungry? There’s a great burger place around here, they’re open for another hour or so.”

Hanging back as the rest of his crew packed up, Bobby pulled his phone out of his pocket as it buzzed, a small smile gracing his lips as he unlocked it.

New Message from A - 11:12PM

Well? Was I right, or was I right?

“Cap, come on! Burgers wait for no man!”

To A - 11:14PM

They’re going to be one hell of a team.

#guardianangel!buck #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 #buddiefic #911fic #so happy to have this out of my drafts #srsly don't feel shy about pointing shit out to me #it's what I can do so I can an grow #FINALLY THIS IS DONE #I HATE IT ALREADY LMAOOO

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to-read-or-not-to-read3088 · 3 years ago

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70+ disabled, neurodiverse and chronically ill authors COLLAB

This post is in collaboration with several other bloggers whose links are included here:

Artie Carden

Anniek

Hi! It’s been a while since I posted anything, but this post has been a month in the making. I have twenty books by twenty authors for my part in this collaboration, and you can check out the other parts of the collab with the links at the top of the post.

I haven’t read some of these books but almost all of them are on my to be read pile, and I did extensive research to make sure I got this right, but please let me know if there are any mistakes or if anything needs to be corrected.

1. Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee

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Meet Cute Diary follows Noah Ramirez who thinks he’s an expert on romance. He must be for his blog, the Meet Cute Diary, a collection of trans happily ever afters. There’s just one problem. All the stories are fake. What started off as the fantasies of a trans boy who was afraid to step out of the closet has grown into a beacon of hope for trans readers across the globe. Noah’s world unravels when a troll exposes the blog as fiction, and the only way to save the Diary is to convince everyone that the stories are true, but he doesn’t have any proof. That’s when Drew walks into Noah’s life, and the pieces fall into place. Drew is willing to fake date Noah to save the Diary. But when Noah’s feelings grow beyond their staged romance, he realises that dating in real life isn’t the same as finding love on the page.

The author, Emery Lee, is a kid lit author, artist and YouTuber hailing from a mixed racial background. After graduating with a degree in creative writing, e’s gone on to author novels, short stories and webcomics. When away from reading and writing, you’ll likely find em engaged in art or snuggling with cute dogs.

Emery Lee is nonbinary, and uses e/em pronouns, and e’s debut book, Meet Cute Diary, features a side character who is also nonbinary (and asexual!). Emery is also neurodivergent, and frequently speaks about what its like being a writer with adhd on twitter.

Meet Cute Diary is a book I only discovered last month, when it was published, but I’m excited to read it. It has representation of all kinds, and I love any book that has even a little mention of an asexual character because its so rare to see.

2. Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

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At Niveus Private Academy money paves the hallways, and the students are never less than perfect. Until now. Because an anonymous texter calling themselves Aces, is bringing two students’ dark secrets to light. Devon, a talented musician, buries himself in rehearsals, but he can’t escape the spotlight when his private photos go public. Chiamaka, head girl, isn’t afraid to get what she wants, but soon everyone will know the price she has paid for power. Someone is out to get them both. Someone who holds all the aces. And they’re planning much more than a high school game.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, is the author of the instant New York Times and IndieBound bestseller, Ace of Spades, billed as ‘Get out meets Gossip Girl’. Entertainment Weekly has called it “this summer’s hottest YA debut”. She was born and raised in Croydon, South London, and Faridah moved to the Scottish Highlands for her undergraduate degree where she completed a BA in English Literature. She has established and runs and mentorship scheme for unagented writers of colour, helping them on their journey to get published. Faridah has also written for NME, The Bookseller, Readers Digest and gal-dem.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé’s book is one that I pre-ordered months in advance, after discovering that I actually really liked this sub-genre of YA, and although I still haven’t read it yet (sorry!), I’m still super excited to dive into it. From what I hear, it has some gay rep, which we all know by now is something I seek out in my books.

3. Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal

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Priya has worked hard to pursue her pre med dreams at Stanford, but a diagnosis of chronic Lyme disease during her sophomore year sends her straight back to her loving but overbearing family in New Jersey and leaves her wondering if she’ll ever be able to return to the way things were. Thankfully she has her online pen pal, Brigid, and the rest of the members of “oof ouch my bones,” a virtual support group that meets on Discord to crack jokes and vent about their own chronic illnesses. When Brigid suddenly goes offline, Priya does something very out of character; she steals the family car and drives to Pennsylvania to check on Brigid. Priya isn’t sure what to expect, but it isn’t the creature that’s shut in the basement. With Brigid nowhere in sight, Priya begins to puzzle together an impossible but obvious truth: the creature might be werewolf – and the werewolf might be Brigid. As Brigid’s unique condition worsens, their friendship will be deepened and challenged in unexpected ways, forcing them to reckon with their own ideas of what it means to be normal.

Kristen O’Neal is a freelance writer who’s written for sites like Buzzfeed Reader, Christianity Today, Birth.Movies.Death, LitHub and Electric Literature. She writes about faith, culture, and unexplained phenomena. Her debut novel, Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses is based on her own experiences with being chronically ill. Kristen has two autoimmune disorders and “a number of other problems and issues” with her body. According to her website, she is doing much better than she used to, but still has flares somewhat regularly.

I cannot describe the feeling of seeing a published book with the best group chat name I have ever seen. Oof ouch my bones is absolutely something that I would be part of if it really existed, because its just such a mood, and funny at the same time. I pre ordered this book too, but like all the others, I still haven’t gotten around to reading it. I’m super excited about it though and cannot recommend it enough.

4. Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales

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Will Tavares is the dream summer fling – he’s fun, affectionate, kind – but just when Ollie thinks he’s found his Happily Ever After, summer vacation ends, and Will stops texting Ollie back. Now Ollie is one prince short of his fairy tale ending, and to complicate the fairy tale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country. Which he minds a little less when he realises it’s the same school Will goes to…except Ollie finds out that the sweet, comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted – and to be honest, a jerk. Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn’t ready for a relationship, especially since this new, bro-y jock version of Will seems to go from hot to cold every other week. But then Will starts “coincidentally” popping up in every area of Ollie’s life, from music class to the lunch table, and Ollie finds his resolve weakening. The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again. Right? Right.

Sophie Gonzales was born and raised in Whyalla, South Australia, where the Outback Meets the Sea. She now lives in Melbourne, where there’s no outback in sight. Sophie’s been writing since the age of five, when her mother decided to help her type out one of the stories she had come up with in the bathtub. They ran into artistic differences when five-year-old Sophie insisted that everybody die in the end, while her mother wanted the characters to simply go out for a milkshake. Since then, Sophie has been completing her novels without a transcript. Sophie Gonzales tweets about her experiences with ADHD on her twitter.

Only mostly devasted is one of the few books on this list that I’ve read. I read the whole thing in one sitting because I just couldn’t put it down, which is weird because I normally don’t read contemporary at all. I have recommended this book to literally everyone I know, and even bought my best friend a copy to convince her to read it.

5. The Bone Houses by Emily Lloyd Jones

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Seventeen-year-old Aderyn ("Ryn") only cares about two things: her family, and her family's graveyard. And right now, both are in dire straits. Since the death of their parents, Ryn and her siblings have been scraping together a meagre existence as gravediggers in the remote village of Colbren, which sits at the foot of a harsh and deadly mountain range that was once home to the fae. The problem with being a gravedigger in Colbren, though, is that the dead don't always stay dead. The risen corpses are known as "bone houses," and legend says that they're the result of a decades-old curse. When Ellis, an apprentice mapmaker with a mysterious past, arrives in town, the bone houses attack with new ferocity. What is it that draws them near? And more importantly, how can they be stopped for good? Together, Ellis and Ryn embark on a journey that will take them deep into the heart of the mountains, where they will have to face both the curse and the long-hidden truths about themselves.

Emily Lloyd-Jones grew up on a vineyard in rural Oregon, where she played in evergreen forests and learned to fear sheep. After graduating from Western Oregon University with an English degree, she enrolled in the publishing program at Rosemont College just outside of Philadelphia. She currently resides in Northern California.

Another book on my to be read pile that I’m super excited to read, but still haven’t gotten around to. This one features disability rep, but because I haven’t read it, I don’t know much more, sorry guys.

6. Mooncakes by Susanne Walker and Wendy Xu

📷Nova Huang knows more about magic than your average teen witch. She works at her grandmothers' bookshop, where she helps them loan out spell books and investigate any supernatural occurrences in their New England town. One fateful night, she follows reports of a white wolf into the woods, and she comes across the unexpected: her childhood crush, Tam Lang, battling a horse demon in the woods. As a werewolf, Tam has been wandering from place to place for years, unable to call any town home. Pursued by dark forces eager to claim the magic of wolves and out of options, Tam turns to Nova for help. Their latent feelings are rekindled against the backdrop of witchcraft, untested magic, occult rituals, and family ties both new and old in this enchanting tale of self-discovery.

Suzanne Walker is a Chicago-based writer and editor. She is co-creator of the Hugo-nominated graphic novel Mooncakes (2019, Lion Forge/Oni Press). Her short fiction has been published in Clarkesworld and Uncanny Magazine, and she has published nonfiction articles with Uncanny Magazine, StarTrek.com, Women Write About Comics, and the anthology Barriers and Belonging: Personal Narratives of Disability. She has spoken at numerous conventions on a variety of topics ranging from disability representation in sci-fi/fantasy to comics collaboration.

Wendy Xu is a Brooklyn-based illustrator and comics artist. She is co-creator of and currently draws the webcomic Mooncakes. Her work has been featured on Tor.com, as part of the Chinese American: Exclusion/Inclusion exhibit permanently housed at the Chinese Historical Society of America, and in Shattered: The Asian American Comics Anthology. She occasionally teaches at the Asian American Writers Workshop and currently works as an assistant editor curating young adult and children’s books.

Suzanne Walker suffers from hearing loss, something that she wrote into her graphic novel, Mooncakes, making Nova hard of hearing. I read this in a few years ago as an advance reader copy for Netgalley and it was honestly one of the best graphic novels I have ever read. The main characters are Chinese American, queer AND magic, which is an amazing combination of representation.

7. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

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Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone… A convict with a thirst for revenge A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager A runaway with a privileged past A spy known as the Wraith A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.

Leigh Bardugo is a #1 New York Times bestselling author of fantasy novels and the creator of the Grishaverse (now a Netflix original series) which spans the Shadow and Bone Trilogy, the Six of Crows Duology, The Language of Thorns, and King of Scars—with more to come. Her short stories can be found in multiple anthologies, including the Best American Science Fiction & Fantasy. Her other works include Wonder Woman: Warbringer and Ninth House (Goodreads Choice Winner for Best Fantasy 2019) which is being developed for television by Amazon Studios.

Leigh grew up in Southern California and graduated from Yale University. These days she lives and writes in Los Angeles.

In the acknowledgements section of Six of Crows, Bardugo reveals she suffers from osteonecrosis and sometimes needs to use a cane; this was a source of inspiration for one of the story's six protagonists, master thief and gang boss Kaz Brekker, who uses a cane.

I read Six of Crows a few years ago and I really loved it. I’m not going to pretend I managed to finish the whole Grishaverse series, because I haven’t even gotten close yet, but it really showed Kaz’s struggles with his disability, and his mental health. This is part of a duology, and the duology is part of a large series of books with another duology and trilogy, but Six of Crows can be read without reading the others.

8. Hyperbole and A Half by Allie Brosh

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This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So, I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Allie is an American blogger, writer and comic artist best known for her blog in the form of a webcomic Hyperbole and a Half. Brosh started Hyperbole in 2009 and told stories from her life in a mix of text and intentionally crude illustrations. She has published two books telling stories in the same style, both of which have been New York Times bestsellers. Brosh lives with severe depression and ADHD, and her comics on depression have won praise from fans and mental health professionals.

Another book on my tbr that I just haven’t gotten around to but really want to.

9. The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness

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What if you aren’t the Chosen One? The one who’s supposed to fight the zombies, or the soul-eating ghosts, or whatever the heck this new thing is, with the blue lights and the death? What if you’re like Mikey? Who just wants to graduate and go to prom and maybe finally work up the courage to ask Henna out before someone goes and blows up the high school. Again. Because sometimes there are problems bigger than this week’s end of the world, and sometimes you just must find the extraordinary in your ordinary life. Even if your best friend is worshipped by mountain lions...

Patrick Ness, an award-winning novelist, has written for England’s Radio 4 and Sunday Telegraph and is a literary critic for The Guardian. He has written many books, including the Chaos Walking Trilogy, The Crash of Hennington, Topics About Which I Know Nothing, and A Monster Calls. He has won numerous awards, including the Guardian Children’s Fiction Prize, the Booktrust Teenage Prize, and the Costa Children’s Book Award. Born in Virginia, he currently lives in London.

Patrick Ness has written about OCD and anxiety in at least two of his books, inspired by his own experiences with the two disorders and how it affects him (The Rest of Us Just Live Here & Release)

10. Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire

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Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children No Solicitations No Visitors No Quests Children have always disappeared under the right conditions; slipping through the shadows under a bed or at the back of a wardrobe, tumbling down rabbit holes and into old wells, and emerging somewhere... else. But magical lands have little need for used-up miracle children. Nancy tumbled once, but now she’s back. The things she’s experienced... they change a person. The children under Miss West’s care understand all too well. And each of them is seeking a way back to their own fantasy world. But Nancy’s arrival marks a change at the Home. There’s a darkness just around each corner, and when tragedy strikes, it’s up to Nancy and her new-found schoolmates to get to the heart of the matter. No matter the cost.

Seanan lives in an idiosyncratically designed labyrinth in the Pacific Northwest, which she shares with her cats, Alice and Thomas, a vast collection of creepy dolls and horror movies, and sufficient books to qualify her as a fire hazard. She has strongly held and oft-expressed beliefs about the origins of the Black Death, the X-Men, and the need for chainsaws in daily life.

Years of writing blurbs for convention program books have fixed Seanan in the habit of writing all her bios in the third person, to sound marginally less dorky. Stress is on the "marginally." It probably doesn't help that she has so many hobbies.

Seanan was the winner of the 2010 John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer, and her novel Feed (as Mira Grant) was named as one of Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 2010. In 2013 she became the first person ever to appear five times on the same Hugo Ballot.

Seanan McGuire has an invisible disability due to herniated disks in her spine. She is slowly coming to terms with this, and talks about it occasionally on her twitter, and about the struggles she faces.

I loved this book, and so did my best friend. We both read it in one sitting and talked nonstop about it afterwards. Although short, its filled with amazing characters, plot, and representation (asexual character!!)

11. Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan

Each year, eight beautiful girls are chosen as Paper Girls to serve the king. It's the highest honour they could hope for...and the most demeaning. This year, there's a ninth. And instead 📷of paper, she's made of fire. In this richly developed fantasy, Lei is a member of the Paper caste, the lowest and most persecuted class of people in Ikhara. She lives in a remote village with her father, where the decade-old trauma of watching her mother snatched by royal guards for an unknown fate still haunts her. Now, the guards are back and this time it's Lei they're after -- the girl with the golden eyes whose rumoured beauty has piqued the king's interest. Over weeks of training in the opulent but oppressive palace, Lei and eight other girls learns the skills and charm that befit a king's consort. There, she does the unthinkable -- she falls in love. Her forbidden romance becomes enmeshed with an explosive plot that threatens her world's entire way of life. Lei, still the wide-eyed country girl at heart, must decide how far she's willing to go for justice and revenge.

Natasha Ngan is a writer and yoga teacher. She grew up between Malaysia, where the Chinese side of her family is from, and the UK. This multicultural upbringing continues to influence her writing, and she is passionate about bringing diverse stories to teens. Ngan studied Geography at the University of Cambridge before working as a social media consultant and fashion blogger. She lives in France with her partner, where they recently moved from Paris to be closer to the sea. Her novel Girls of Paper and Fire was a New York Times bestseller. Natasha has a heart condition, and talks about her struggles with her health, and gives updates on her health and her books on twitter.

I’ve heard a lot about this book, but for trigger warning reasons it sadly isn’t on my to be read list. Everything I’ve heard about it says its an amazing book though, and the cover is beautiful.

12. Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde

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Three friends, two love stories, one convention: this fun, feminist love letter to geek culture is all about fandom, friendship, and finding the courage to be yourself. Charlie likes to stand out. She’s a vlogger and actress promoting her first movie at SupaCon, and this is her chance to show fans she’s over her public breakup with co-star Reese Ryan. When internet-famous cool-girl actress Alyssa Huntington arrives as a surprise guest, it seems Charlie’s long-time crush on her isn’t as one-sided as she thought. Taylor likes to blend in. Her brain is wired differently, making her fear change. And there’s one thing in her life she knows will never change: her friendship with her best guy friend Jamie—no matter how much she may secretly want it to. But when she hears about a fan contest for her favourite fandom, she starts to rethink her rules on playing it safe.

Jen Wilde is the YA author of QUEENS OF GEEK, THE BRIGHTSIDERS and GOING OFF SCRIPT. She writes unapologetically queer stories about geeks, rockstars, and fangirls who smash the patriarchy in their own unique ways. Her books have been praised in Teen Vogue, Buzzfeed, Autostraddle, Vulture and Bustle. Originally from Australia, Jen now lives in NYC where she spends her time writing, drinking too much coffee and binging reality TV.

Researching for this collab was the first time this book popped up on my radar as something I might be interested in reading. Jen Wilde, the author, is herself autistic and suffers from anxiety, which gives the narrative “authenticity that is lacking in similar books” according to socialjusticebooks.org.

13. The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

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Seventeen-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso knows all about unrequited love—she’s lived through it twenty-six times. She crushes hard and crushes often, but always in secret. Because no matter how many times her twin sister, Cassie, tells her to woman up, Molly can’t stomach the idea of rejection. So, she’s careful. Fat girls always have to be careful. Then a cute new girl enters Cassie’s orbit, and for the first time ever, Molly’s cynical twin is a lovesick mess. Meanwhile, Molly’s totally not dying of loneliness—except for the part where she is. Luckily, Cassie’s new girlfriend comes with a cute hipster-boy sidekick. Will is funny and flirtatious and just might be perfect crush material. Maybe more than crush material. And if Molly can win him over, she’ll get her first kiss and she’ll get her twin back. There’s only one problem: Molly’s co-worker Reid. He’s an awkward Tolkien superfan with a season pass to the Ren Faire, and there’s absolutely no way Molly could fall for him. Right?

Becky Albertalli is the author of the acclaimed novels Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (film: Love, Simon), The Upside of Unrequited, and Leah on the Offbeat. She is also the co-author of What If It's Us with Adam Silvera. A former clinical psychologist who specialized in working with children and teens, Becky lives with her family in Atlanta.

Becky Albertalli has generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), and has spoken about it in several interviews, which you can find online. She has also written several characters in her books who also suffer with anxiety. Her first book, Simon vs the Homosapien’s Agenda (or Love, Simon), is the only book of hers that I have read so far, and I loved it. It was the first contemporary book that I read and actually enjoyed.

14. Carve the Mark by Veronica Roth

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Cyra is the sister of the brutal tyrant who rules the Shotet people. Cyra’s current gift gives her pain and power—something her brother exploits, using her to torture his enemies. But Cyra is much more than just a blade in her brother’s hand: she is resilient, quick on her feet, and smarter than he knows. Akos is the son of a farmer and an oracle from the frozen nation-planet of Thuvhe. Protected by his unusual currentgift, Akos is generous in spirit, and his loyalty to his family is limitless. Once Akos and his brother are captured by enemy Shotet soldiers, Akos is desperate to get his brother out alive—no matter what the cost. Then Akos is thrust into Cyra's world, and the enmity between their countries and families seems insurmountable. Will they help each other to survive, or will they destroy one another?

Veronica Roth is the #1 New York Times best-selling author of the Divergent series (Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant, and Four: A Divergent Collection), the Carve the Mark duology (Carve the Mark, the Fates Divide), The End and Other Beginnings collection of short fiction, and many short stories and essays. Her first book for adult audiences, Chosen Ones, is out now. She lives in Chicago.

Veronica Roth suffers from anxiety, like a lot of the authors on this list, and talks about it in interviews. A quote from one: "I've had an anxiety disorder my whole life, so I've been to therapy on and off throughout, before books and after books. I went back and tried to talk through some of the things I was feeling and experiencing, and it was helpful."

I’ve never read any of her books, not even the hugely famous Divergent trilogy, though they’ve been on my radar for years. I’d love to get into her books at some point, but it might take me a few years.

15. How to be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe

📷An urgent, funny, shocking, and impassioned memoir by the winner of the Spectrum Art Prize 2018, How To Be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe presents the rarely shown point of view of someone living with autism. Poe’s voice is confident, moving and often funny, as they reveal to us a very personal account of autism, mental illness, gender and sexual identity. As we follow Charlotte’s journey through school and college, we become as awestruck by their extraordinary passion for life as by the enormous privations that they must undergo to live it. From food and fandom to body modification and comic conventions, Charlotte’s experiences through the torments of schooldays and young adulthood leave us with a riot of conflicting emotions: horror, empathy, despair, laugh-out-loud amusement and, most of all, respect. For Charlotte, autism is a fundamental aspect of their identity and art. They address the reader in a voice that is direct, sharply clever and ironic. They witness their own behaviour with a wry humour as they sympathise with those who care for them, yet all the while challenging the neurotypical narratives of autism as something to be ‘fixed’. This is an exuberant, inspiring, life-changing insight into autism from a viewpoint almost entirely missing from public discussion. ‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’ Charlotte Amelia Poe is a self-taught artist and writer living in Lowestoft, Suffolk. They also work with video and won the inaugural Spectrum Art Prize with the film they submitted, 'How to Be Autistic’. Myriad published Charlotte's memoir, How to Be Autistic, in September 2019.

Another book I didn’t know about until researching for this post, but I really want to read it because I haven’t read many books about autism, and practically none of them were actually written by someone who actually is autistic. Charlotte uses they/them pronouns.

16. Ask me about my Uterus by Abby Norman

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For any woman who has experienced illness, chronic pain, or endometriosis comes an inspiring memoir advocating for recognition of women's health issues In the fall of 2010, Abby Norman's strong dancer's body dropped forty pounds and grey hairs began to sprout from her temples. She was repeatedly hospitalized in excruciating pain, but the doctors insisted it was a urinary tract infection and sent her home with antibiotics. Unable to get out of bed, much less attend class, Norman dropped out of college and embarked on what would become a years-long journey to discover what was wrong with her. It wasn't until she took matters into her own hands--securing a job in a hospital and educating herself over lunchtime reading in the medical library--that she found an accurate diagnosis of endometriosis. In Ask Me About My Uterus, Norman describes what it was like to have her pain dismissed, to be told it was all in her head, only to be taken seriously when she was accompanied by a boyfriend who confirmed that her sexual performance was, indeed, compromised. Putting her own trials into a broader historical, sociocultural, and political context, Norman shows that women's bodies have long been the battleground of a never-ending war for power, control, medical knowledge, and truth. It's time to refute the belief that being a woman is a pre-existing condition.

Abby Norman’s debut book, ASK ME ABOUT MY UTERUS: A Quest to Make Doctors Believe in Women’s Pain, was published by Bold Type Books (Hachette Book Group) in 2018, with advance praise from Gillian Anderson, Lindsey Fitzharris, Jenny Lawson, and Padma Lakshmi.

The book was praised by The New York Times Book Review, The Wall Street Journal, New York Magazine, The Washington Post, The Sunday Times, The Irish Times, Literary Review, The Times Literary Supplement, The New Republic, Book Riot, Toronto Star, ELLE, Health Magazine, Undark Magazine, BUST Magazine, Bitch Magazine, Ms. Magazine, BBC Radio 5, and other international media outlets.

In 2019, the paperback edition was published in the U.S. and the Korean translation in Seoul (Momento Publishing/Duran Kim Agency).

Her work has been featured in Harper’s, Medium, The Independent, Literary Hub, The Rumpus, Mental Floss, Atlas Obscura, and elsewhere. Interviews and profiles have been seen and heard, including NPR/WNYC, BBC, Anchor.fm, The New York Times, Playboy, Forbes, Glamour, Women’s Health, and Bitch Magazine.

Abby Norman suffers from endometriosis, which was a large part of why she wrote her book, and why she advocates so hard for fellow patients at conferences such as Stanford University’s Stanford Medicine X and the Endometriosis Foundation of America’s medical conference and Patient Day. She is

Abby has served on technical expert panels including the National Partnership for Women and Families’ CORE Network (Yale University), the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the Centres for Medicare and Medicaid, The Society for Women’s Health Research (SWHR), and Health Affairs.

In 2019, Abby contributed to a paper addressing research gaps and unmet needs in endometriosis published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

This book is definitely one I will be adding to my to be read list, as someone who (unfortunately) also has a uterus, it is important to be informed. And Abby sounds like such a badass who wrote a whole book about her chronic illness to help others with the same condition.

17. Stim: Autistic Anthology by Lizzie Huxley-Jones

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Around one in one hundred people in the UK are autistic, yet there remains a fundamental misunderstanding of what autism is. It is rare that autistic people get to share their own experiences, show how creative and talented and passionate they are, how different they are from media stereotypes. This insightful and eye-opening collection of essays, fiction and visual art showcases the immense talents of some of the UK's most exciting writers and artists - who just happen to be on the spectrum. Here they reclaim the power to speak for themselves and redefine what it means to be autistic. Stim invites the reader into the lives, experiences, minds of the eighteen contributors, and asks them to recognise the hurdles of being autistic in a non-autistic world and to uncover the empathy and understanding necessary to continue to champion brilliant yet unheard voices.

Lizzie (Hux) Huxley-Jones is an autistic author and editor based in London. They are the editor of Stim, an anthology of autistic authors and artists, which was published by Unbound in April 2020 to coincide with World Autism Awareness Week. They are also the author of the children’s biography Sir David Attenborough: A Life Story. They can be found editing at independent micropublisher 3 of Cups Press, and they also advise writers as a freelance sensitivity reader and consultant. In their past career lives, they have been a research diver, a children’s bookseller and digital communications specialist.

I wasn’t even aware that there was an anthology out there by an autistic author, about autism, but now that I do I need to read it.

18. Chimera by Jaecyn Bonê

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Creatures unlike you've imagined before! Welcome to a world where myths and legends collide to create a new breed of monster. Savage and soulful, these monstrosities combine to form the mighty Chimera. In this anthology, talented writers weave 10 tales of fantastical beasts. Featuring stories by: Matt Bliss Jaecyn Boné Alexis L. Carroll Chris Durston Dewi Hargreaves Stephen Howard Samuel Logan Vincent Metzo Braden Rohl Michelle Tang

Jaecyn is a queer, non-binary, disabled Asian-American writer and digital artist fascinated by faeries.

Most of their writing involves wlw romance and faery-inspired creatures. Their first novel, Farzana's Spite is a 10-year-old work in progress and the first novel in The Faerth series. Other works include The Killing Song (novel) and Colour Unknown (short), both of which are also part of the Faerth universe.

Jaecyn's art can be described as a neorealistic pop art style with cel shading. They began their digital art journey with a 5-year-old refurbished iPad using their finger as a stylus and immediately fell in love. They do digital download commissions as well as sell prints of their artwork.

Jaecyn is the Co-Editor in Chief of the Limeoncello Magazine, an online Own Voices literary magazine which debuted its first issue on March 21st, 2021.

When not writing, drawing, or chasing after their two children, they can be found either gardening or practicing their ukulele.

None of Jaecyn Boné’s books are published yet as they are still in the stage of querying, but they contributed to the above anthology, along with nine other authors. I had no idea that this anthology existed, and now I’ll be closely following this author to see when their books get published!

19. Forest of Souls by Lori M Lee

Sirscha Ashwyn comes from nothing, but she’s intent on becoming something. After years of training to become the queen’s next royal spy, her plans are derailed when shamans attack 📷and kill her best friend Saengo. And then Sirscha, somehow, restores Saengo to life. Unveiled as the first soul guide in living memory, Sirscha is summoned to the domain of the Spider King. For centuries, he has used his influence over the Dead Wood—an ancient forest possessed by souls—to enforce peace between the kingdoms. Now, with the trees growing wild and untamed, only a soul guide can restrain them. As war looms, Sirscha must master her newly awakened abilities before the trees shatter the brittle peace, or worse, claim Saengo, the friend she would die for.

Lori M. Lee is the author of speculative novels and short stories. Her books include PAHUA AND THE SOUL STEALER (Disney/Rick Riordan Presents), FOREST OF SOULS and the sequel BROKEN WEB (Page Street), and more. She’s also a contributor to the anthologies A THOUSAND BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS and COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES. She considers herself a unicorn fan, enjoys marathoning TV shows, and loves to write about magic, manipulation, and family.

Lori struggles with anxiety, and the common symptoms like fatigue but she doesn’t let this stop her writing amazing books. I read Forest of Souls earlier this year, and it was seriously one of the best books I’ve ever read. I loved the magic, the characters, the world building. Everything about it, including the plot twist ending that had me losing my mind at 2am, was just so unlike anything I had read in any other fantasy before.

20. A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A Brown

📷

For Malik, the Solstasia festival is a chance to escape his war-stricken home and start a new life with his sisters in the prosperous desert city of Ziran. But when a vengeful spirit abducts Malik’s younger sister, Nadia, as payment into the city, Malik strikes a fatal deal—kill Karina, Crown Princess of Ziran, for Nadia’s freedom. But Karina has deadly aspirations of her own. Her mother, the Sultana, has been assassinated; her court threatens mutiny; and Solstasia looms like a knife over her neck. Grief-stricken, Karina decides to resurrect her mother through ancient magic . . . requiring the beating heart of a king. And she knows just how to obtain one: by offering her hand in marriage to the victor of the Solstasia competition. When Malik rigs his way into the contest, they are set on a course to destroy each other. But as attraction flares between them and ancient evils stir, will they be able to see their tasks to the death?

Roseanne “Rosie” A. Brown was born in Kumasi, Ghana and immigrated to the wild jungles of central Maryland as a child. Writing was her first love, and she knew from a young age that she wanted to use the power of writing—creative and otherwise—to connect the different cultures she called home. She graduated from the University of Maryland with a Bachelor’s in Journalism and was also a teaching assistant for the school’s Jiménez-Porter Writers’ House program. Her journalistic work has been featured by Voice of America among other outlets.

On the publishing side of things, she has worked as an editorial intern at Entangled Publishing. Rosie was a 2017 Pitch Wars mentee and 2018 Pitch Wars mentor. Rosie currently lives outside Washington D.C., where in her free time she can usually be found wandering the woods, making memes, or thinking about Star Wars.

Roseanne is another author that struggles with anxiety and wrote one of her two main characters with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), despite it being a fantasy. I don’t even think I can name a fantasy that had a character with anxiety represented so well. This was a book I read around the same time as Forest of Souls, and I loved it. The cover was beautiful, the characters were brilliant, and I just loved the world building, the magic, and the plot. It was just different to the usual fantasy books I read, and I enjoyed the variation so much I’ve had the sequel pre ordered almost a year in advance.

So, this was my 20 books by 20 chronically ill, disabled or neurodiverse authors list. Blurbs and synopsis were compiled between Goodreads and author websites, and bios were found either on Goodreads, author websites or on amazon author pages. All the information about their chronic illnesses, disabilities or neurodivergence was found online, where they had either explicitly said it or written about it, but if I have something wrong, please let me know so I can fix it!

If you have any other suggestions or know any other books and authors that should be on this list, please let me know and I’ll do my best to add it to the list as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading 😊

#bookblr #reviews #recs #books

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kisskissbanggang · 5 years ago

Text

The Sabotage of Simkung House - Part 1

[Stray Kids Multi Fic - 5K Words/20Min. Read - Lee Know x Female Reader - Non-Idol!au, Variety!au - NSFW/Smut, Plot - Reverse Harems, Variety Shows, Secret Hook-Ups]

This was your weirdest casting call yet. The assistant was taking the longest time looking back and forth from your headshot to your CV, and it was making you anxious. You could be doing better things on a Thursday night than get scrutinized more than usual. Finally, after an agonizing fifteen minutes of near silence on your end, the assistant motioned for the casting director to come over. This new person looked from the CV, to the headshot, to you, in a repeated loop until they ultimately asked you to stand up, turn in a circle, and walk around the room. You felt like a show dog, but relief finally came as the casting director motioned for you to follow, not leave. Was this your weirdest casting call ever? Probably. Would you pass up an opportunity to sign? Of course not.

Yet another eager assistant trotted up to intercept you as casting led you down the hall. “I got this,” he explained, politely shooing away the casting director and redirecting you into a new office.

“Hi,” he greeted as he sat you in a chair, “so we’re glad you're here. I’m Felix,” he introduced himself, offering you a hand to shake before he sat you in a chair in front of the big desk in the room. He remained standing as he animatedly explained himself. “I’m the assistant for our executive producer. We know this has been a little unorthodox.”

“That's fine! I know some AV producers have really high standards,” you shrugged with a polite smile. You hadn't been shooting adult videos long, but in the time since you started you’d definitely had some weird auditions. None as weird as this, still, but weird nonetheless.

“Right,” Felix nodded, “we were impressed with your materials. I'm already familiar with your work--” he blurted out before cranking back, biting into his lip as he blushed. You modestly nodded for him to continue. “--but I never realized you had such credentials otherwise. You have a very nice acting resume.”

“I've never needed both before,” you explained apologetically, “so I just left everything on there.”

“No no! It’s better than I could've dreamed of. I had no clue you went to school. And you’re bilingual? I thought I recalled you using English once or twice in streams, but I never realized--” Felix paused again, realizing his continued admission. You nodded for him to get going once again.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” you kindly encouraged, “I’m glad you’re familiar with my work.”

“I am,” he eagerly nodded as he pulled some materials out from a folder sitting on the desk , “And we want you. So can I explain?” He waited for your approval once more before he launched in. We’re casting a new variety show. It’s called Noesengnam House.” The first piece of material he slid across the desk was a logo: a cheesy, bubbly text in front of a silhouette of a chiseled man with a graduation cap on. You raised an eyebrow. However, being enthusiastic was key to landing any gig, so despite any doubts you put on a smile.

“Alright. So we’re focusing on smart, sexy guys?”

“We’re making smart, sexy guys,” Felix clarifies, and he’s so proud as he passes five headshots across the desk. You’ve always been puzzled by these overenthusiastic assistants, like they have a stake in every good idea so they have to be good. “This is like charm school, but for guys. The catch is they have to get equal marks in all their subjects by the end of the season in order for all of them to win their prizes.”

You got the smallest bit distracted looking over the faces of these five men, wondering how charm school worked as a concept with porn actors. “So the subjects are…?”

“What,” Felix suddenly halted, “not interested in the prizes?”

“I assume it’s money,” you flippantly shrugged, “so what are they supposed to be getting high marks in? I assume I'm working with them, so I'm interested in what they’re doing.”

It was Felix’s turn to shrug. Somehow, he apparently hadn’t predicted this. “The usual: manners, fitness, home economics, academics. They’re all secretly cast to have a specialty, so they have to work together to figure out each other's strengths and weaknesses.”

You finally held up your hands to formally stop him. “I'm sorry,” you politely apologized, “but I think I'm missing something. Where do I fit in?”

“Ah, that's the fun part. We cast them for variety, not for adult content. This will be their first venture.”

“For all of them?” You dubiously marveled, starkly curious how this would affect their performances. Almost no one was ever proud of their first time for more than sentimental reasons.

“Yes, all of them,” Felix proudly nodded, “in our counterpart series, Simkung House.” He slid a new logo across the desk, the first crossed out and a bubbly pink text replacing it, with the silhouette of a -- no, really -- french maid tickling her duster under the chin of the man in the original design. The cartoon male even had blush added. You raised a sharp eyebrow at Felix.

“Simkung? Who's the heartthrob, me or them?”

He jokingly waved you off, as if you could dare be so modest. “You, of course. They’re the stars of the daytime show, and you're the star of the nighttime show. Every good dormitory needs a housekeeper.”

“Daytime show?” You asked, backtracking. Your head was starting to swim with details.

“Yes. We actually have a daytime slot for Noesengnam House.”

“And so this--” you tapped on the gaudy pink logo in front of you, “is airing? On television?”

Felix slowed down a second. “Not quite,” he admitted, “it’s an online subscription for a well-negotiated price. Our clientele are loyal, and word of mouth has been our biggest asset.”

“So I just sleep with everyone.”

“Of course not,” Felix grinned, wagging a cheeky finger at you. “You’re working for a prize as well.” He slid a new graphic across the desk, this one a table of information. One row had a heart, the one below had a broken heart, and the one on the bottom simply had a question mark. The zeroes populating the prize side of the infographic made your pulse race. “Our five budding bachelors are all yours for the taking, but they can’t find out about each other. They each have to think they’re the one you chose. If you bed one of them, that’s 50 million won.”

Felix’s grin grew more wicked as your eyes widened.

“If one of them finds out about the others, you’ll lose 60 million won each. So control of information is key.”

“And what’s this?” You asked suspiciously, pointing at the ominous question mark.

“That,” he explained, “is for added drama being incited. You’ll find out later.”

“So what if I get all five?” You asked, feeling a bit foolish for getting excited.

“Then you get the prize,” Felix said seriously, “There's 500 million won at hand here, but you don't get to earn any of your penalties back for anyone finding out.”

You felt a little nauseous. That much money could get you a modest house, and maybe a car, and maybe all sorts of things.

“Where’s the contract?” You cautiously asked, not wanting to sound too eager.

“Of course,” Felix nodded as he pulled out two packets from under his pile of promotional material, one for each show, “I figured you’ll want copies for your manager--”

“I manage myself,” you firmly replied to Felix’s surprise, taking the copies from him and grabbing a pen from your bag. You flipped through, immediately crossing out any transfer of representation and exclusivity clauses. You had to be able to work after this, and you had to be able to keep up your own streams on the side during production if the schedule allowed. Your pen paused as you hit something interesting.

“What’s this about accommodations?”

“We’ve leased a house for production instead of making a studio more habitable for the cast. You’ll need to be accessible at all times given our schedule.”

“So my stream…?”

“Sadly, you’ll need to take a hiatus,” Felix pouted a little in sympathy, “but we’re confident you’ll find new fans. Now, are you going to use that pen to sign? Or do you want time?”

A miniature war broke out in your head over the prospects, but you quickly tried to decipher why -- the contract practically led in with the fact you’d get five million up front. That would help pay the bills in advance and settle some debt that had sat while money was tight. If you said no, someone else would say yes. You would meet new guys and network, and possibly come out with more money than you had going in.

You signed.

---

Felix wasn’t around on your first day on set, but you had his card in case you needed him. You wheeled your one suitcase to the front door of the handsome house, and an assistant immediately herded you to your room, further away from the chaos currently happening in the main living space. The bottom floor of the house mostly contained the impressive home gym, but appeared to also be where the laundry room and your room were located. You noted cameras tucked into all sorts of corners and crevices, some more obvious than others.

Your room was modest, with a small bathroom attached and its own fair share of cameras around. It was cutely decorated, a little feminine with warm string lights and soft textiles, but not very personal. It could've been any girl's room, but for now, it was yours. Felix had assured you that the cameras in here would only ever be on at night, and always with a signal of one of the bulbs on your string lights blinking. You opened your closet to get a feel of the space and where you could put your things when you saw your uniforms set out for you. A number of soft blouses with coordinating skirts hung on padded hangers, ready for you to mix and match. When you opened the drawers beside them, you found pairs of sensible tights and delicate pantyhose, some patterned and some not. Thankfully, the costumes were pretty sensible. You didn't want to be parading around in a french maid costume, swishing petticoats in boys’ faces or bending at the waist to show off some frilly panties. If the show wanted you to actually seduce these men and do it with some romance and dignity, the modestly cute uniforms would work just fine. You did also bring some of your own clothes, something Felix so graciously insisted upon, so you had options should you grow tired of the same look.

You unpacked and changed into a pale pink blouse with a black pencil skirt and some grey tights before heading upstairs where you were immediately intercepted by another assistant.

“Noona,” the younger man politely greeted, “you must be our housekeeper.” You nodded with a smile in return, popping the first button on your blouse when the assistant held up a lavalier mic to clip on. He quickly averted his eyes as you threaded the cord down and around to your back, endearing you, but just a little.

“What's your name?” You asked, watching for some sound tech to signal that you were fine or needed adjustments.

“I’m Seungmin, noona. You can let me know if you need anything. For now, we'll get you to a stylist and get you today's pages.” Seungmin showed you upstairs to the attic of the grand house, a de facto control center just above the main floor. A stylist swept you up and sat you in a chair while Seungmin fetched your pages. As the first episode, you would really only get a short introduction with the other staff: a cook, and a valet. For some reason, these cast members didn’t also reside in the house, but you didn’t need to question the producers at the moment and cause trouble. The main cast appeared to be downstairs already getting set for their first takes, their voices muffled through the thick rugs placed on the floor on this level. A text beeped through your phone that you had stashed in the pocket of your apron, and you opened it.

>How's my star? Ready for your first day? Can I get a picture? I have the big boss here.

You rolled your eyes at Felix’s antics, but took a reluctantly cute selfie anyhow, even winking for the camera.

>Perfect. It's like your first day of school and I'm so proud lmao. Big boss says to tone down the sass. Clients are more into Hidden Charm.

A heavy sigh fell from your chest. You were already nervous for your first real variety debut, let alone with the show tonight lurking ahead. Seungmin appeared right next to you, ready to lead you downstairs as the stylist set your hair one last time.

The lights in the living room were a bit irritating and took a second to adjust to, but the room itself was great. The home was impeccably decorated, modern and smart and just cozy enough to not feel sterile. You were sat next to your other Staff cast members while the main cast finished up in the dining room, your introductions awkward and brief. An errant bead of sweat traveled from the nape of your neck down your back when the rest of the cast were led into the living room, tempting you to shiver until the crew was done setting up.

You watched, distracted in the middle of rising from your seat when the cast filed in from the dining room down the hall, stretching and chatting as they took a quick break. The boys all had on some coordinating iteration of the same uniform, capitalizing on the ‘college boys in their dorm’ concept the show was toying with. First was Minho, a perfectly pressed crease undisturbed on his slacks despite filming all morning, and his sleeves bundled up over his hands as he nonchalantly entered the room and immediately took a seat on the couch. Next came Jisung, glasses gradually sliding too low and one end of his necktie a little too short. Changbin followed, looking down his long nose at a loose thread on his sweater vest, with Hyunjin right behind stopping him to fuss over it himself. He stooped down to see better and brazenly reached under the material to pull the loose thread back through before being prodded along by Chan pulling up the rear. Hyunjin straightened up, smoothing out his blazer and adjusting his beret before joining the rest of the boys on the long sofa, Minho now having scooted off to sit on a tufted ottoman. Chan casually rerolled his shirt sleeves and brushed a hand through his ashy blonde hair, opting to stand until the crew was ready. The assistant director stepping in to run down the scene finally pulled you out of your reverie. Clearly, your co-stars’ headshots didn't do them justice, but did they think the same of yours?

The scene was simple: following the round-table of introductions in the previous scene, the cast meets the staff before picking roommates. That was it, that was your big debut, and for some reason it was nerve-wracking. You and the staff all nodded greetings before filming even began, before you took your marks off camera. The boys were all polite, but none of them treated you with any familiarity. You would have to remember to ask Felix if they actually had seen your headshot before coming to set.

Finally, cameras rolled. As the Seniors of the group, Minho and Chan led the discussion, but Chan was clearly filling his role as the show’s host. He spoke well, and with plenty of charm, but something definitely struck you as odd about him. You just couldn’t pinpoint what. Your cue snapped you out of your train of thought and you suddenly remembered you were nervous, just as you walked on set and into the irritating lights. The valet introduced himself first, and then the cook, and, to your horror… You forgot your cheesy intro line.

What was it?

Amazing. Your first shot would require a reshoot, and it would be because of a flub.

You momentarily floundered, opting instead to roll with it and improvise.

“Hello, boys,” you beamed as you greeted them, “I’m your housekeeper. Keep a good home while you're here, since I'll be the one cleaning it. I hope you have nothing to hide.” You topped it off with a wink, and the boys all shared a momentary air of surprise. You didn't blame them -- it was awkward, cringy, and too ‘sassy.’ The Big Boss probably hated it.

But the boys laughed. Actually laughed. The take finished without any more problems, and the stylist ran up to reset your hair between takes.

“Was it bad?” You whispered as she touched up your makeup.

“No, I liked it!” She smiled, reassuring you a little. In fact, the AD asked you to run it again the way you had, surprised you could improvise at all. The retake went more smoothly, and you finally allowed yourself a sigh of relief as the scene cut for transition.

As the boys finally wrapped up, you set about your other duties. When the cameras weren't formally set and manned, the planted cameras caught plenty of action from the boys. The valet had it easy; he was come-and-go as the plot necessitated, but you and the cook actually worked. Your contract outlined that while the boys were usually “on” from eight o'clock to eight o'clock, that you were an actual part-timer during the day and working at night. You could “work” your show during the day, but you couldn't interfere with the daytime activities. If you were needed as a housekeeper during the day, then that was priority, and these bookshelves apparently came with dust on them. You set about dusting as the boys transitioned from their scripted work to more casual filming. They each gave you a look as they filed back out of the living room to get set up in their rooms. Some expressions were cryptic, Hyunjin and Chan especially, but some were clear, like Minho’s small grin as he subtly looked you up and down as you reached for a tall shelf. Not wanting to shy away from an opportunity, you smiled back.

The rest of your day was pretty simple, all things considered. You dusted and swept and tidied up a little, but since all five men had just started living in the house, there wasn’t much else at the moment. The house calmed down considerably as the huge crew dispersed for the day, now resembling just a mostly normal home. You hung out and snacked in your room as you heard everyone eating upstairs, only emerging once you heard their chairs scooting free of the dinner table. At that moment, one of the bulbs on your string lights blinked three times and then turned off.

You immediately straightened up where you sat in bed and cheerily waved at the camera. Felix had outlined that you would never have to do much talking if you didn’t feel like it. You rose from your bed, turning to fix the bow in your apron before heading out of your room, giving the camera an extra wave. As you turned to ascend the stairs, a figure landed right on the bottom step in front of you, making you jump with a startled laugh.

“Chan--!” You gasped into a giggle. “I'm so sorry, you surprised me.”

“I’m sorry, noona, I’ll be more careful,” he nodded cordially as he briskly moved to step around you. You quickly took note of the basket in his hands.

“Wait!” You jumped back in front of him. “You don’t have to do your own laundry, you know. Besides, you already have some on night one?” You held your hands open for him to set the basket into and he hesitated before reluctantly giving it up to you.

“It’ll take some getting used to, noona, thank you. I just wanted to take care of my uniform and my street clothes from before I got to set.”

“Fair enough,” you smiled warmly despite his stiff demeanor, turning heel back towards the laundry room as Chan hesitated again before heading back up the stairs. Working quickly, you set about separating the meager pile of laundry and getting them started on washing before you returned to your original plan and headed upstairs yourself.

Through the living room was the dining room, and beyond that was the kitchen down the hall. You peered in, spying a sink full of dishes from dinner. You pulled on some gloves and got to washing when your ears perked up at the sound of the kitchen door swinging open. Just like that, your assumption was right: someone had to be a late-night snacker in the cast. And, of course, it was Minho.

“I'm sure you could’ve eaten with us if you wanted,” Minho slyly grinned as he pulled open a cabinet and peered inside. His uniform was swapped out for a much comfier number, a simple henley shirt and pajama pants. The thin layers hugged the subtle outlines of his figure and suggested that despite his casual nature, he still put in effort for his looks. He came away from the cabinet with a box of cookies and offered it to you. You smiled and silently declined.

“I appreciate that, Minho, but I'm just the help.”

“Yeah, but you’re pretty,” he said bluntly, quietly picking the box open, “and I feel like we could be friends.”

You watched, quietly impressed with how cool Minho could be. He silently, nonchalantly took a bite of a cookie and offered you a bite of the same. Could you really say no to an advance like that?

Sure you could. Where was the fun in making it easy? You spied a camera in the corner of the kitchen, tucked under the hanging cabinets. Stepping aside, Minho instinctively circled with you, opening your conversation up for the camera.

“It’s only the first night, Minho,” you teasingly scolded as you leaned forward and took a bite of the proffered cookie, “you shouldn't be so eager.”

Minho surprised you again, his thumb instantly at your lip and cleaning off a crumb you hadn't even felt.

“Are you sure you're just the help?” He laughed quietly. “You don't act like it.”

“I can act however you want me to,” you teased back, enjoying the way his eyes lit up at your little repartee. You locked gazes as you let his thumb caress your bottom lip, watching for his reaction when dipped your chin to take the digit between your lips for just a moment. You took a step back, leaning back against the counter. His turn now. Minho set the box of cookies down, a devilish grin tugging at his lip as he stepped closer.

When the door swung open once again. You both rapidly turned away from each other, your hands plunging back into the sink and Minho turning back to the cabinets. Changbin blinked at the two of you.

“‘Sup,” Minho cheerily greeted, “I'm making myself something to eat. Want anything?”

“Nah,” Changbin shook his head as his eyes darted between the two of you before settling on the box of cookies on the counter. He stiffly reached between you both and grabbed it. “I'll be just fine with this. Unless you wanted--?”

“No, thanks, that's fine, like I said, making myself something,” Minho enthusiastically prattled on, making himself look busy as he started facetiously searching for pans in the bottom cabinets under the counter. Changbin raised an eyebrow before shrugging, popping open the box of cookies and digging in as he left the kitchen.

A beat passed in the silence as you both waited for Changbin’s footsteps to disappear, but you didn’t get a chance to say anything before you felt Minho press up behind you where you stood at the sink. You let yourself have a small smile as he reached his arms around you, grabbing a kitchen towel and pulling your hands out of the sink to dry them. His head leaned down over your shoulder, his breath tickling your neck as he took his time before you grew impatient. You leaned back against his chest, opening up your neck for him. Minho breathed you in and brushed your hair back, the impression of his smirk pressed into you as his lips brushed against the delicate skin.

You turned in his arms, playfully pushing him back a couple inches by the hips, and he instantly stepped closer, getting on with it already and driving his lips against yours. His flannel pajama pants did next to nothing to hide his growing erection he was currently grinding into your thigh. You kissed him deep, readily spreading your legs for him as his hands searched you and played with the hem of your skirt.

“Right here?” You asked coyly.

“As if we weren't pushing for that this whole time already,” Minho chuckled as he kissed you up and back against the counter. He spun you back around, pressing your hips against the sink as he kissed and nibbled at your neck. “Say it,” he implored.

“Fuck me,” you replied breathlessly, gasping as Minho immediately pulled your skirt up around your hips and bent you over the sink, his fingers dipping below the waist of your tights and tugging them down. His fingertips probed your dripping entrance from behind and you gave an encouraging moan for him to continue. “What,” you grinned back over your shoulder, “chickening out?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting this,” he teased, “you sure you want it? You did say it's the first night.”

“Give it to me,” you said adamantly. Minho smiled back as he pulled out his hard length. One hand gripped your hip as he guided himself in, groaning as your depths took him deep. You squeaked out a surprised moan when he bottomed out before both his hands were on your hips now and pulling you deeper around him.

You clapped a hand over your mouth to keep from getting too loud as Minho fucked you over the sink, his hips bucking hard against you as his length filled you up. Once he set a reliable rhythm, one hand crept lower, between your legs to caress your clit as he fucked you.

“I want to make you cum,” Minho gritted behind you, “tell me how and I'll do it.”

“Keep doing what you’re doing and you will,” you taunted.

Minho seemed pleased with your answer, his fingers still rubbing firm circles on your clit as his cock drove in and out of you even faster. You pushed your hips back against his, gripping the counter hard as the refined angle helped hit your spot more consistently. Minho let out a deep groan at the sound of your quickening whimpers, the sound of you approaching your orgasm making it difficult for him to keep up his own pace.

“Minho,” you gasped, “I’m gonna--!”

You threw your head back as you cried out, quickly muffled when Minho pressed his own hand over your mouth. He kept it there, his other hand still holding firm onto your hip as he fucked you through your orgasm and on his way to his own. You whined and moaned into his palm, the way his own desperate groans combined with his stuttering grip on you making you lightheaded. He came hard, suddenly, emptying himself inside you as he gritted out hushed curses and panted breaths.

You both stayed there, connected at the hips before Minho pulled out and brought you back up from the ledge of the sink. It was sweet, the way he helped put you back together and kissed your cheek.

“Thanks,” he panted with a grin, still catching his breath, “hope this won’t make anything weird.”

“Of course not,” you smiled back as you brushed your fingers through your hair, “we can even do it again some time if you’d like.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. What’re friends for?” You winked, and Minho’s laugh was almost bashful as he playfully nudged your shoulder. His hand lingered on yours before he gave a cute wave and finally walked out of the kitchen.

You waited a beat for Minho’s footsteps to disappear before you found the closest camera in the corner of the kitchen and gave it a wave and a smile. You finished the dishes and left them to dry and exited the kitchen, nearly screaming in surprise as you ran right into someone.

Another assistant, blinking in surprised relief and taking a deep breath.

“Well done, noona,” the assistant laughed quietly.

“Who are--”

“Jeongin, noona, sorry.”

“Where have you been hiding?” You asked, bewildered.

“Upstairs in the control room. I come in when the day crew leaves to help supervise in case you need anything.” He handed you a bottle of water and you nodded your gratitude, uncapping and taking a sip as you looked him over. He was an actual infant. He must've gotten roped into the industry right out of school. “Any other plans tonight?”

“Don’t think so,” you chuckled. “The show won’t be much fun if I get everything done in one week.”

“Sounds good, noona. You’ll be getting some rest then?”

“Sure will.” You waved goodbye to the assistant as he crept back up the stairs and you headed down towards your room, making a quick stop to make a change over in Chan’s laundry for him.

You stripped down in the comfort of your room, waving as the camera blinked on and you pulled on your pajamas. The sheets were welcoming as you crawled into bed, blowing a kiss to your viewers before the camera blinked back off. Your phone buzzed with a text from Felix as your eyelids grew heavy.

>Good show tonight. Great start. The big boss loved it. Can you wear the dark blue blouse tomorrow? I want to see if it looks better than the pink. And don't make tonight a habit. We gotta keep things interesting. ;)

You sighed, now suddenly curious how you would “keep things interesting” between all five boys and wondering who would be next.

#skzsmutnet #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #lee know smut #lee know #lee minho #stray kids minho #kpop smut #kpop fanfiction #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines

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isnt-it-pretty · 4 years ago

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A The Queen’s Gambit inspired Sylvix fic I’ve had sitting in my drafts forever. Figured I may as well post the WIP!

TW for substance abuse, and generally everything terrible from both FE3H and from The Queen’s Gambit.

The room is silent. Hundreds of people wait with baited breath as two of the world's leading chess players fight across a wooden board. The pieces are lacquered - hand carved. Only the best for the players in Enbarr.

Sylvain studies the board, picking out his response to his opponents play several steps ahead. It's already the second day - five long hours the night previous left them both exhausted. Sylvain barely remembered to eat before crashing for 13 hours.

His opponent lifts a piece, his rook, and moves it forward. It's a clever strategy, but it won't be enough. The man across from him knows it too - he's twice Sylvain's age, but desperately trying to keep up.

They see it at the same time. A single move, and it'll be finished. There won't be a way for his opponent to come back from it. If he moves his bishop, it'll all be over. His opponent will resign, and Sylvain will be the youngest world champion at 22 years old.

It's his turn, he stares at the piece, his brain ticking into overdrive. It would be so easy, just to move to pieces. But then what? What else does Sylvain have but chess? He has no friends, has a family only in name. The media hates him, a stark contrast to being the Darling of the chess world at seven years old.

One move. And he'll win. He'll prove Miklan wrong, prove the media — his former friends, wrong.

He should have drank more before coming.

His hand is reaching for his king before he even realizes it - the words leaving his lip of their own accord. It feels right.

"I resign."

He knocks over his king, the hall is silent in shock.

Sylvain gets up, doesn't even bother shaking his opponents hand, and walks out.

...

He stops by his room with a single mindedness. His phone is going crazy, but Sylvain hasn't checked to see who is trying to reach him.

Everybody, probably.

His mother must be having an aneurysm, the media must be going insane.

He opens the door to his room and tosses the phone on the bed. His wallet too, but not before emptying out his cash as a tip for hotel staff. $500 total.

It's barely anything compared to his sizable room service charges - which is probably the cost of his room twice over. It's all paid for, he never leaves debt at a hotel.

There's an untouched bottle of whiskey on top of his mini bar. Expensive in beautiful glass. He hasn't touched it, preferring cheap straight liquor. Just because he can afford expensive drinks doesn't mean he bothers with it. He stops noticing the taste soon enough anyway.

He doesn't bother getting changed as he grabs the whiskey and heads out of the room. Somebody will come bother him if he stays there, and he doesn't want to be disturbed. Doesn't want to think.

Sylvain just threw the biggest match of his life, yet he can't bring himself to care.

The roof access is unlocked, which really should be a case for concern. Anybody with a key card could enter the stairwell and climb to the roof of the hotel - 5 stars and twelve floors. He can see all of Enbarr from up here. The twinkling of its lights remain unperturbed despite his actions.

There's a railing about a foot from the edge. Sylvain ducks under it easily, and sits with his legs dangling downward. Nobody will be able to see him from the ground. Just a spec in the darkness looming above their heads.

He uncorks the glass crystal stopper and drinks.

...

Glenn loved chess. He was pretty good at it, too. It was something he and their father used to do together. Felix would sit on his dad’s lap and try to reach for the pieces. By the time he was six, most of the set had baby sized teeth marks engorged into them

Felix never had the patience for it, personally. He never wanted to study moves or games, never wanted to sit quietly and practice it. He preferred to run around, rolling in the dirt and mud with his friends.

It didn’t stop Felix from being enthralled every time he watched his other brother play.

There was a finesse to it. A certain wisdom that Felix could never quite grasp as Glenn carefully moved the pieces. He was better than their father by ten, and was competing in chess competitions by eleven.

Felix went to every one of his games.

Even now, so many years later, Felix can remember the magic of that first game. He was seven, following behind his dad like a little duckling, his hand grasped tightly in Glenn’s. There were plastic tables with chess sets on them lining the hall of the old community centre, but Glenn didn’t care. He was ecstatic to be there. The joy didn’t fade, even after Glenn lost the second to last game.

A year later they were watching TV. There was a chess special on.

That was the first time he saw Sylvain Gautier.

Ten years old, the boy was already the darling of the chess world. His smiling was dazzling. The interviewer was asking generic questions, what was it like competing against adults, does he see chess in his future, etc etc. The answers came so naturally Felix thought the boy may have been magic.

After that interview, Glenn found every source he could about the boy. He replayed all of Sylvain’s games, tried to puzzle through the choices that were made, and why. Tried to figure out if there was a specific style to his play, something that could be used to trip him up.

In the end, there was nothing.

Two years later, Felix accompanied Glenn to a small competition in Fhirdiahd. Dimitri and Ingrid went along, if only to provide support. Both Ingrid and Dimitri were shaping up to be pretty good chess players themselves, but even working together they still couldn’t hold a candle to Glenn.

The competition was held in a high school gym. Rodrigue dropped them off and said he’d pick them up after.

It was a shock to everybody when Sylvain Gautier showed up to play.

Felix remembered seeing him walk up to the people running check in. Remembered seeing two college age students choke. Sylvain didn’t even smile at them. Didn’t even remove his sunglasses.

He just said his name like everybody in the building didn’t know who he was, picked up a sheet to track his moves, and went into the gym.

Even years later, it was probably the most surreal experience of Felix’s life.

Glenn won every game, ascended through the ranks just like Felix knew he would, until he was sitting across from a celebrity of the chess world.

Sylvain was twelve at the time, but even that seemed so much older to Felix, who was small even for a ten year old.

Glenn smiled and held out his hand. Sylvain shook it, and they played.

As expected, Glenn lost. Dramatically, in fact, but Glenn didn’t mind. He was fifteen, was planning on what to do when he graduated high school in a few years. He enjoyed chess, but he simply didn’t have to love or dedication to play professionally, or the natural born talent. Their dad always said that the best chess players had a mix of both.

Sylvain flashed Glenn a smile, a little different from the one Felix had seen on TV interviews and magazine covers. Suddenly, it hit him. Sylvain had seemed bored in every game he played, but not Glenn’s.

"You're pretty good," he told Glenn when it was all over. 21 moves total - it was savage. “Did you study Loog’s games?”

Glenn lit up. “I did! I, um, studied your games a lot too. I figured it may be a good counter to your strategy.” He looked over the board, over his dramatic loss. “Guess that didn’t pan out.”

Sylvain just shrugged. “You’re not the first to try it, don’t worry about it.” He checked his phone, typed something, and slipped it back into a pocket with a sigh. “Sorry, I’ve gotta go. Good to meet you Glenn...”

“Fraldarius,” Glenn answered, a little flustered. Felix knew he’d never hear the end of this day.

“Fraldarius,” Sylvain said. He shot Felix a smile too, before heading out of the building.

In the end, Glenn got the prize money - apparently Sylvain insisted. Said Glenn likely would have won, if he hadn't shown up.

Felix was only ten, but he found himself following everything Sylvain did after that.

...

The first time Sylvain played chess, he was five years old. Small and prone to illness, he wasn’t allowed to go outside like other kids his age. Instead Sylvain was kept indoors, where it was safe and controlled. He spent several days a month ill in bed, wrapped in soft blankets as nannies brought him juice and borth. His childhood was marked by books and quiet toys, things he could do without bothering people, or over exerting himself.

One day his tutor, an older gentleman named Mr. Hanneman, took out the chess board in some lesson or another. He said it would be a good way to pass the time. It was quiet, thought provoking, and could be played from a sickbed, as Sylvain so often found himself.

Miklan, seven years older and already pissed at the world, barely paid attention to the rules, but Sylvain was enthralled. The chess pieces were beautiful, they all had rules about how they could move and act - just like him.

He took up the game with a single minded focus, wanting to know everything about it. He got Mr. Hanneman to bring him books and help him read them. Days which before had passed in a boring feverish haze were instead spent reading chess books, or replaying famous games.

By the time he was six, Sylvain was playing eleven board simultaneous games and winning all of them. He started competing soon afterward.

His parents were thrilled. It was the only time they'd ever bothered paying attention to him. Whenever he won, they’d make time to go out for dinner, or watch a movie with him. His mother read him stories at night. It felt good. So he kept playing, kept hoping they would keep gracing him with small smiles at his wins. Kept chasing the feeling of affection.

Other people, he came to find out, were just like chess pieces too.

In chess, one can estimate an outcome to a specific move. Can anticipate a reaction, and have a response already prepared. People are much the same.

He learned to read situations and people, how to act a specific way to get the outcome he thought would be most desirable. It didn’t always go his way, but like chess, it often did. He learned to smile; dazzle crowds and interviewers. His poor health was a well kept secret.

By eight years old, Sylvain Jose Gautier was a renowned name within the chess world. A prodigy. A future Grandmaster. He was on the cover of almost every chess magazine at least once, and was invited for photo ops with professionals.

Miklan hated it of course. He tried to play chess, desperately wanting what Sylvain had, but he was never very good. He got even more angry, and when angry, he lashed out. Sylvain was an easy target.

Sylvain never told his parents, but he knew that they were already aware. There was simply nothing that could be done without impacting the family. So he dealt with it, learned how to sleep to not aggravate bruises, learned to make himself silent, a shadow in his home.

It wasn’t hard, his parents did always like a puppet for a child.

#my writing #Sylvix #wip

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teddyshoney · 4 years ago

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So, in celebration of posting my 50th fic on AO3 this morning, I decided to make a masterpost of all my fics so far. I’m quite excited to get all of them in one place on Tumblr! I have written some stories that I recognize might squick some people out, so I will put those beneath the cut. Clicking on the title of the work or series will take you to the story or series on AO3. Each of my stories is posted on FF.net, too. Clicking on FF.net at the end of each description will take you to the story or the first story in the series for each series listed. (FF.net is rather infuriating in that there is no good way to mark stories in a series. If you have questions about series order on FF.net, feel free to message me, and I’ll help you out.) So, without further ado, here we go!

One-Shots:

It Was All Your Fault (9988 words) -- Finn and Puck are getting married! Mike and Kurt, their two best men, have put together a weekend excursion to celebrate the upcoming wedding, but they may not be the only ones planning something. (This really ended up being a Klaine story despite what the summary makes it sound like.) FF.net

Respect and Obey (8443 words) -- Blaine has always had a little trouble with his anxiety, and the pandemic is causing an attack. His Dom tries to help, but sometimes it's hard to shut off the voices in your head. (This is a D/s story with Dom!Kurt and sub!Blaine.) FF.net

Take a Chance on Me by Abba (1760 words) -- Blaine takes Kurt on a surprise outing that doesn't go as planned. (Written for Klaine Valentine’s Day Challenge 2019 but is a standalone work.) FF.net

I Could Fall in Love by Selena (1530 words) -- Blaine has had feelings for Kurt since the day that they met, but he doesn't think Kurt is in love with him. A few comments from Wes go to his head, and Blaine gets a surprise he didn't count on. *This story takes place while Kurt and Blaine are attending Dalton Academy and does not completely comply with cannon events. (Written for Klaine Valentine’s Day Challenge 2019 but is a standalone work.) FF.net

Whenever You’re Away From Me by Olivia Newton John (2921 words) -- Kurt's in New York, and Blaine is still in Lima. When Sam invites him to drive to New York with he and his dad, Blaine accepts, planning a surprise for Kurt. (Written for Klaine Valentine’s Day Challenge 2019 but is a standalone work.) FF.net

This Is the Time by Billy Joel (1009 words) -- Kurt and Blaine are supposed to be writing their wedding vows separately. But they're really struggling, and they both need just a little bit of comfort. (Written for Klaine Valentine’s Day Challenge 2019 but is a standalone work. I did not upload this work to FF.net. If I choose to in the future, I’ll add the link here.)

Christmas Cookies (2000 words) -- Kurt's headed back to work from the bakery when he bumps into a very upset Blaine. He decides his time is better spent taking care of his sad husband than at work, so they go home to work out Blaine's problem. (Written for Glee Potluck Big Bang Advent 2019 but is a standalone work.) FF.net

Series:

In Every Lifetime (314,220 words) -- This is a series that I’m writing with @jayhawk-writes. There are currently eight stories in this series, and we have plans for several more. We’ve been taking turns writing stories for the ‘verse. The series summary is: A series of connected AUs inspired by this line from Blaine's proposal: "It's always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if, in every lifetime you and I have ever lived, we've chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again. Over and over for all of eternity." 1. The Unknown (864 words by me) -- Kurt and Blaine have a choice to make... FF.net 2. Domus Civita (62,612 words by jayhawk-writes) -- While on vacation to a city he's never been to, Kurt Hummel finds himself in a place that he recognized from his dreams. The person he always sees in those dreams is there, too, and they spot him and ask, “Is it really you?” FF.net 3. It Only Took an Hour (19,072 words by me) -- Kurt's been set up on a blind date at a bar that he hates. And the blind date is a no-show. There is this really cute boy that walks in, though, and Kurt can't stop watching him dance and flirt. The whole story takes place over the course of an hour with the exception of the prologue. FF.net 4. The Writing on My Skin (35,530 words by jayhawk-writes) -- Soulmates, when the younger of the two turns 16, both get a unique mark somewhere on their skin that will have or has had some meaning to them. They can write to each other back and forth by writing on their skin. Kurt Hummel has been waiting for his soulmate to finally turn 16 so that he would have someone to talk to about all of the things he can't tell his dad or other friends. Nobody really knows how bad the bullying has gotten at McKinley. He hopes that his soulmate can help him get through this tough time, but he has no way of knowing that Fate, and Noah Puckerman, will lead him right to his soulmate. FF.net 5. Nothing Can Keep Us Apart (44,467 words by me) -- Blaine is a Prince...well, he used to be. Now, he's just a lowly Peasant living in the city of Hucal, a kingdom under the rule of the man who ordered his father to be killed. Unexpectedly, Blaine falls in love with a boy, a boy who should be far, far out of his reach. And just as he thinks that things are looking up for him, Hucal goes to war, and Blaine must fight. Will he make it home? Will he get to marry his soulmate? Will they have their happily ever after? FF.net 6. The Silver-Scaled Mark (52,737 words by jayhawk-writes) -- Blaine is a half-elf living in a town of full-blooded elves. He doesn’t fit in and is bullied almost daily for his heritage. One day Blaine finds solace in the library and later finds a book that talks about the magic in his world. He is drawn to it and wants to learn all he can. After Blaine has consumed all of the books in his town, he goes off to college to become a wizard so that he can help protect those that are not able to adequately defend themselves. Once he has graduated, he finds that he and several companions are part of a prophecy that will help unite the races in his world. FF.net 7. When Worlds Collide (currently 70,521 words by me) -- Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson are soulmates and fairies; they have a wonderful little family, and Kurt is a successful author. When his daughters beg him to read his new book to them for a bedtime story, Kurt and Blaine relieve their pasts, and we learn exactly how they became soulmates and lovers in a most unconventional and unlikely way. (There are two or three chapters left to post of this story.) FF.net 8. Guarding the Shadows (currently 28,417 words by jayhawk-writes) -- Too distracted by their love for each other to make their own choices, Kurt and Blaine are thrust into an adventure they know almost nothing about. Born in mid-1600 London, they must overcome many obstacles including their financial barriers and their desire to find true love. However, there's a hidden piece of the puzzle they know nothing about: vampires. (This story is currently updating weekly on Saturdays.) FF.net

The Adventures of Josh, Jasper, and Liza (25,779 words in 3 works) -- In the first story of this series, Kurt and Blaine adopt three kids: Josh, Jasper, and Liza. This story is based on the movie Instant Family. The following two stories in that series recount a few days in their lives following the adoption. I plan to write more stories for this series. FF.net

Engaged for Graduation (8189 words in 2 works) -- This is a canon divergent series in which Kurt proposes to Blaine on the night of his high school graduation at the end of season 3. I have more stories planned for this series. FF.net

The Ander-Hummel Family (14,023 words in 6 works) -- This series is a continuation of canon. Rachel is Kurt and Blaine’s surrogate; we follow them through the pregnancy and some adventures after the baby is born. I am writing more stories for this series as well as finishing the last story posted in this series. FF.net

Klaine Is My Favorite Hallmark Movie (3320 words in 2 works) -- I didn’t intend for this to be a series but as I was trying to work on some stories for the Glee Potluck Big Bang Advent prompts, this series was born. In the first story, Kurt and Blaine talk about what they think their Hallmark movie would be like. Then, in the next story, they do a bit of roleplay for their Hallmark movie. I don’t know if there will be more stories in this series or not. FF.net

Blaine Has Fibromyalgia (4757 words in 2 works) -- I didn’t intend for this to be a series either. I wrote the first story about how Blaine got fibro in order to deal with my feelings surrounding the possibility that I might have fibro as well. The second story, which I just posted this morning, was born out of needing to deal with another situation related to fibro. I don’t know if there will be more stories in this series or not. FF.net

Below the cut is a list of my series that have some themes others might be squicked out by.

Puckurt Ageplay (25,736 words in 4 works) -- In this series, Puck starts dating Kurt and their relationship morphs into an ageplay relationship with Kurt as the little following Burt’s election to Congress. I have plans to add more works to this series. FF.net

Puckurt Needs Blaine (14,943 words in 1 work) -- This is a spinoff series in which Blaine joins the Puckurt relationship as a little. I have more works planned in this series. FF.net

Klainofsky (36,331 words in 4 works) -- In this series, Blaine calls Dave up one night out of the blue and tells him that he and Kurt are having problems in their relationship. This leads into an ageplay relationship with Dave as the Daddy and Kurt and Blaine as the littles. I have more stories planned for this series. FF.net

Blaine and Kurt (9376 words in 4 works) -- This is an ageplay series in which Blaine is the Daddy and Kurt is the little. I have plans for more stories in this series. FF.net

Kurt and Blaine (44,091 words in 6 works) -- This is an ageplay series in which Kurt is the Daddy and Blaine is the little. The first few stories are an introduction to their dynamic, but the third story, A Visit to Grandma and Grandpa’s, is where the series really starts to head in a specific direction, and we see the addition of Finn and Sam in a Daddy/little relationship as well. I plan to finish the last posted story and still have more stories planned for the series. FF.net

You and Me Plus Puckerman Spells Family (42,120 words in 5 works) -- This ageplay series follows Puck as the little and Kurt and Blaine as Papa and Daddy. Their dynamic begins when Puck shows up drunk at Burt and Carole’s. He’s recently broken up with Quinn again and due to his drinking has lost all his pool cleaning jobs. Having promised Finn before his passing that they would look out for Puck, Kurt and Blaine fly in from New York to bring Noah home with them to start his new life. I have plans for more stories in this series. FF.net

#klaine fanfic #in every lifetime series #teddyshoney #fanfic author #best friend writers #friends that write together stay together

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luiscivious · 4 years ago

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— && guests may mistake me as ( hugh dancy ), but really i am ( luis cholmondeley + male + he/him ) and my DOB is ( 01/31/1979 ). i am a ( fashion designer ) and would like to stay in suite ( #313 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( + polished, meticulous, and incisive ), but i can also be ( - undemonstrative, rancorous, and fatalistic ) at times. personally, i like to ( read, listen to music alone, and solve puzzles ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( candied citrus peels ) to have in my suite. thank you for checking in!

i suddenly had an insatiable need to make a new muse for the rp. i hope you guys like him!! he’s a weird fusion between a very old muse of mine and a ton of new ideas! there’s also a tl;dr if you don’t wanna sit through all of it lol tw: cancer, tw: death mention

BACKSTORY AND SUMMARY

Luis was born in New Haven, Connecticut and is the third out of five children, as well as being the first of two sons in the family. His father was an American high profile defense attorney who has worked to absolve power-players in the government of any foul play before retirement. His mother is a British heiress to one of the largest cattle breeders in the world whose only work experience is managing hedge funds.

Needless to say, Luis and his siblings grew up without ever wanting for anything. Despite all being born in the US, the Cholmondeley family spent most of their time in Europe. Luis went to private schools in London, Paris, and Rolle, where he graduated from Institut Le Rosey at the top of his class in 1995.

After graduating, instead of taking a gap year as many his age did, Luis set out his applications and was accepted into several ivy leagues, but settled on Harvard as it was his parents’ desire to have their children aim for the stars. Luis and his closest sister in age above him were to study law and become president. At least, that was the plan. Academic rivals and all that. His sister went to Yale.

Luis thrived in university even better than he did in high school, but wound up finding more enjoyment out of medicine than he did his law classes. Considering how impossible it would be to go both pre-law and pre-med while balancing a myriad of extracurricular activities, he decided to forego his medical dreams for his undergraduate study and graduated summa cum laude with a major in Political Science and a minor in Biology, a fact that his mother was impressed with, even if his father found useless.

His father’s disappointment only grew when Luis decided to enroll in Harvard Medical School rather than the law school. At this point, Luis had solidified himself as an individual. If the family wanted a president, his sister was more than willing to play the part.

Medical school was, of course, no different academically than his previous years of schooling. He graduated and immediately performed his residency at the John Hopkins Hospital, specializing in general medicine and shadowing underneath the general surgeon. While studying there, he took an interest in making his own clothes. It had started out as a hobby, but soon became a serious point of interest for the man. He ended getting so good at it, he would make articles of clothes for the other doctors. In the coming years, this would play a large part in his ultimate decision to part ways with John Hopkins.

This decision was also the last straw for Luis’ father. He was effectively ostracized, treated like a failure for pursuing a passion instead of doing something practical. To his father, it wasn’t enough to be rich. Power and influence meant so much more. Luis was left to fend for himself, though being the child of wealth didn’t mean much overall. He was able to use his family name and several connections to work with high end designers and wound up making a name for himself on his own. The first big jumping point in his career was when his pieces were featured on the bodies of Vogue cover models. He had finally done it, broken through.

Life hit hard immediately after. Luis was always prone to intrusive thoughts, but they were getting worse suddenly. His vision suffered, his morale and balance took a huge drop, and he didn’t need the doctor’s appointment to tell him something was wrong in his brain. They discovered that he had a cancerous tumor, Anaplastic astrocytoma, in his brain that would most likely kill him in less than five years if it wasn’t removed. They were unsure of how long he’d have if it were removed, however, as the cells could have spread elsewhere or could be incredibly aggressive.

Luis felt that the walls of his world were caving in, but he did what he knew best: compartmentalized it. Money handled the rest. He kept his treatments and eventual surgeries to himself, touting his shaved head as a fashion statement rather than anything serious. He hid it from the world as the world began to finally look at him as a celebrity stylist at the top of his game.

He never reconnected with his family during these dark times, choosing to face it all alone and hope to never drag anyone down with him. He had never been the brightest star in the sky, but he smiled less as time went on. He felt less too.

As of now, Luis has been in remission for several years. He doesn’t believe he’s beaten cancer forever, but that’s more pessimism that he masquerades as realism.

TLDR;

Luis is a famous fashion designer who came from wealth and is now at the Malnati. He’s a cancer survivor and a perpetual grump.

HEADCANONS

Luis’s accent is contentious. There are times where he sounds almost Mid-Atlantic and others where it’s so posh, it’s akin to the Queen’s English. He argues that his accent is a perfect blend of his parents, but he certainly leans more toward his mother’s accent.

Aside from English, Luis speaks German, French, and Italian fluently. He is conversational in Spanish, Portuguese, and Mandarin Chinese but don’t claim any as proficiencies.

He has a strong eidetic memory and a near photographic memory that is disturbingly accurate. This has helped him study in school, but has come in handy even more as an adult in expanding his visual bank for design options.

Luis isn’t very tall. Hugh Dancy is about 5′10″ ish, but Luis stands at 5′4″ in shoes. Flatfoot, would be almost a full inch or so shorter.

He suffers from a diagnosed anxiety disorder and that extends socially. This makes him a rather quiet person around others. However, if he’s put in a position where his rehearsed words aren’t easily applicable, Luis will get flustered very easily, which can cause him to stumble when speaking. He’s also been known to infodump if he’s particularly close to someone.

#╰ °✧ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ʙɪʀᴅ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ʙɪʀᴅ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʜᴜʀᴛɪɴɢ ( intro. )#malnatiooc #tw cancer #tw death mention

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years ago

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I’m going to go change school next week, and it’s really nerve wracking. I don’t have any friends here (only the daughter of my mother’s boyfriend) and I'm not a very social person (I'm honestly pretty wary of new people and I’m just scared that I won’t make any friends and just... stay alone.) That and I’m worried that just because I’m not around them my friends will just slowly... forget me. I think it’s stupid of me to think so and it makes feel as if I don’t trust them but I can’t help it

The hardest time for a lot of people in their lives is when they’re in middle school or high school, anywhere from the range of 11-18 years old tends to be a really tough area where you’re struggling to find out who you are and you feel rushed to enjoy things because the world makes out to see that your life is seemingly at the height of enjoyment in those years.

Your life doesn’t stop being fun nor do you stop living and enjoying things once you leave high school, or even beyond that, when you leave college, or when you start working or start a family for that matter. There’s such a focus on trying to slam your life with so much all at once that it’s overwhelming.

You have an entire life to live, and each and every moment that you have is very precious and what you make of it. Change is a scary thing, and it can feel like you’re losing everything you know and you’re a duckling learning how to paddle on the water again. I didn’t have a lot of friends when I was younger and I sort of just would blend into the background, it was lonely, and it was hard.

However, I got out of high school, and suddenly I felt like a weight was off my back and I finally didn’t have to worry about bullies or being lonely. So, I guess that’s just me saying that you shouldn’t fixate so much on one thing at this time in your life because it can get better if you feel lie you may be alone forever in the world. Here’s the fun thing about life these days, you have social media, you have apps, and you have the means to communicate with other people whereas when hell, even when I was younger if you moved, it would mean that you would really have to start-start over from the bottom up.

Your friends mean a lot to you, and I’m sure you mean a lot to them. It’s going to be on you guys to continue to speak to each other and to keep the conversation going. Nobody will forget you! You just won’t be able to see them as often as you were able to before this. It’s sort of like when I graduated high school, and my friends and I had less time to hang out, but that didn’t mean that we didn’t speak to each other every now and again!

Nobody ever really forgets their friends, sure, times change and people change, but if that person is something special to you, you’ll always have a place in your heart for them, just as they do for you. It’s not stupid, nor is it dumb to feel really unsure of yourself. Being a teenager is so confusing all the time! So, honestly, be a little more understanding of your plight. It’s real, and if you are having struggles, they are valid and substantial.

Start slow.

Take a deep breath.

A new chance can be fun, even if you don’t know anyone, you’ll have those real rare opportunities to get to know people that don’t know you or haven’t had the chance to know you for years! One of the reasons that I had trouble in school was because I lived in a small area and I went to school with the same people from a young age, and you can’t make friends when you’ve known who is cruel or not the right person for you to be around since you were like, 5.

Trying to find the positive in the unease is hard to do, but try to maximize the good in this confusing emotion.

You may be able to make new lifelong friendships along the way, and that’s always fun! You just have to try to hold your head up and look for space for you to exist in. Finding a club to join can help, or even making a point of sharing some of your interests on your binders or book bag can garner attention in the right way! Just think about how making new friends could be.

You won’t lose your old friends, but you’ll surely gain new ones. I think if you really feel nervous about the ones you have now, you should bring it up with your friends. Talk about how you want to keep in touch, and how you really want to continue being friends even though there’s going to be space.

Just remember that things can be broken down into steps.

That’s something that I do with my anxiety. Don’t look at the big picture. Just try to put it into puzzle pieces that you can put together day by day. It’s not a rush nor is it a contest to rush to the finish line. Your woes are justified and valid, and there’s no right or wrong way to handle it!

#ask #mod kait #distoartion #advice from kait that probably doesnt help

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smolkiwii · 5 years ago

Note

Can I have a small oneshot of Bakugou and the reader being soft late at night, maybe they can’t sleep so they’re drinking tea or something idk man, please and thank you!

Hi!! Thank you for requesting! I tried to do the best I can so I hope you enjoy it! The reader is as gender neutral so hopefully that isn’t an issue! Anyways enjoy ❤️ ( also soft!bakugo with tea gives me life!!)

(I love this artist and how she draws the boys!! Anyways back to the story ;v; )

Bakugo Katsuki X Reader// A blessing in Disguise

When it came to you and Bakugo, people would’ve thought you guys were going to split off or one of you was going to kill the other. It was actually quite the opposite to be honest. You could handle his bad temper and you knew exactly what to do when he got like this. Even though you weren’t as strong as him you still had a great quirk for helping him out (even if he does get upset about it after). Your quirk was called sleepytime. You had the ability to touch someone’s temple and within 5 seconds you could put someone to sleep but, it doesn’t late for a long time.

The downfall of your quirk is you’re unable to use it on yourself when you need to. This meant you needed to find remedies when you couldn’t fall asleep and it seemed like nothing was working. Bakugo noticed your struggle so his best way to try and get closer to you and maybe start something was by helping you out. He suggested tea to you and you’ll never forget the many times you were in the kitchen with him when you couldn’t sleep or he couldn’t sleep and you both would make tea for each other.

Now, many years later, you were in the same dilemma. Bakugo hadn’t gotten home and you were sitting on the couch channel surfing because you couldn’t fall asleep. You wanted to make tea for yourself but you like it when Bakugo makes it for you. He has been extremely occupied with paperwork as of late and it’s been stressing him out a lot so the majority of the time when you greeted him his energy was so depleted he would just hug you and quietly stay like that until his little energy battery recharged itself. The simple things like that is what you loved about Bakugo the most; the caring and soft side of him that he would only show in front of you and maybe a few friends who he has been able to stay in touch with after you guys graduated.

You heard the doorknob rattle a bit and you turned your head to see your fiancé enter the house clearly tired. You got up to hug him and he hugged you back while giving you small sleepy kisses on your shoulder and neck. “K-katsu! N-not now baby.. we need to get you ready for bed! “ you said as you urged him to take off his hero gear. You would help him with it but there were some things he had on his hero gear that were too heavy for you. “Why the hell did you stay up again?” He asked you. You didn’t want to tell him that you couldn’t sleep but you were too readable that he knew when he saw the bags under your eyes from restless nights. You were also a pro hero and after graduation a lot of help was required for you in very high tense situations so you would be working night and day. “I’ve been trying to sleep I really have but it is a lot harder than you think. “ you said trying to clue him in on something. He knew what you meant and he knew that only he made it in the best way but, he wanted to hear you say it for yourself. “Well then, Im not sure how I could possibly help you out. If you want my help all you need to say is the magic word. “ he said smirking as he began to walk towards the shower. You followed behind him and you pouted because sometimes you wish he didn’t do this but he does it because he loves you. “please can you make me tea...?” You mumbled. He looked at you and continued his little game, “ I couldn’t hear you love, what did you say?” He said clearly hearing you the first time but he couldn’t help himself but to mess with you. “Please katsu. Can you make me tea? “ you said looking at him with the big puppy dog eyes he couldn’t refuse even if he tried. He smiled and stripped his shirt off as he was getting ready to take a shower to clean the dirt and grime all over him. “I’ll make you tea once I get out, okay princess?” He said and kissed your forehead. You grinned and left to go into the kitchen to grab the two mugs you guys had made a while ago.

The mugs you guys had were these puzzle piece mugs that you guys had painted to look like your hero outfits but on the back there a small little secret for you both. You both had done B + (your first name initial) to signify that you would love each other no matter what ( even if that did mean putting your initials on a mug). You rub the mug thinking on the memory fondly and you laugh when you thought about how your classmates would bombard you with questions about what you guys had made. He was so much more ill tempered back then but since graduation he has calmed down a fair bit and things have changed for the better. “What are you laughing at?” Bakugo asked you. You turned to see him already out of the shower with his pjs on and him rubbing his head with the towel to make sure it has dried off. “Oh, nothing just thinking about the good old days..” you said to him. He gave you a soft smile and came over to the kitchen to grab the tea and kettle to start making tea for you both. “Go sit down baby I’ll make this and when it’s ready you can come back to invade my kingdom.” He smirked and smacked your butt. You yelped but you proceeded to go sit down on the little island you two had. You didn’t have a super big house or a fancy apartment but you had a simple 2 bedroom apartment with some space in the living room and kitchen. You both wanted someplace where you could bring friends over and if the time ever came to where you would have kids, then you would have a space for them.

Once bakugo finished making the tea he put the teabags in to begin steeping and he looked back at you. You had your head on the counter and you looked at him admiring his every feature not even realizing he has long since turned around to face you. “ Oi, earth to y/n!” He said waving his hand in front of you. You blinked and looked at him a small blush forming on your face. “Wh-what do you want?” You said looking away. He put your mug in front of you with the tea that would solve your long forgotten problem. “Your tea. Did you not want it anymore??” He asked you as he took a small sip from his. You shook your head and drank the tea. For those few minutes you two had some silence as you both finished your tea. It was supposed to help you both sleep and it’s been a wonderful remedy so far.

Usually after you drank your tea with him he would get all cuddly and lovey dovey. If you guys were out in public you tried to keep your love life a secret. You didn’t want any more prying eyes wondering about your relationship with the Infamous Katsuki Bakugo. “Babe... come to bed with me..” your loving fiancé said to you as he held his hand out. You guys put your cups in the sink and began to head to the master bedroom where you two slept. It’s interesting to think that you are going to be doing this for the rest of your life eventually and you hoped it would never go away. You crawled into the bed and put the covers over you as bakugo began to go into the bed as well. He grabbed your waist and pulled you close to him making sure that you didn’t move. “Stay here... please.” He said softly. You smiled and turned around so you could properly cuddle him. You looked up into his beautiful crimson eyes and said “ I don’t plan to leave anytime soon.” You two soon fell asleep in each other’s embraces and the last thing you thought before falling into your slumber was that when you met bakugo it was because you wanted tea and he offered to help and now you guys are getting married soon. tea is like this small blessing in disguise when you think about it. Tea brought you together and now it’s bringing you closer than ever before.

I hoped you enjoyed it!! I tried my best to make him not too ooc but hey soft!bakugo is best boi! Anyways if you guys want more don’t forget that my ask box is always open and I’m expanding my realm to Harry Potter!!

Ask box: Open

Requests: Open

#bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #mha bakugou #bnha bakugou #soft!bakugo #bnha katsuki #katsuki bakugo imagine

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imtheperfectvoid · 5 years ago

Photo

I’ve had this class made for a good while but I finally decided to post it to Tumblr — here’s the cast of my fangan! The story involves a group of Hope’s Peak alumni being gathered for physical and mental examination under the guise of being eligible for a federally-awarded grant for graduates of Hope’s Peak. However, because it’s a DR game, they’re trapped in the facility they’re gathered in and are placed in a killing game.

You can read the bios of each character below the cut!

Hisahito “Hito” Kanbara ♂

Height: 5'6"

Birthday: Mar 16

Age: 23

Occupation: Shinist priest

Likes: Astronomy

Dislikes: Lying

(Note: his Name in Kanji is Written as 尚人 meaning “esteemed person” but he calls himself just “Hito” (Person) because humility is one of his largest virtues and feels it’s important to put the good of the world before himself)

The protagonist of the game, and quite honestly the perfect example of “lawful good”. A kind-hearted, genuine boy with a penchant for seeking the truth and attaining growth, he feels that this game is truly going to test his faith and his virtues while being tempted to bring violence and harm to his fellow classmates. His devotion to his “Great Mother” - Shinomoi, a goddess representing truth, faith, and luck - is what keeps him steady and strong during his time in the game, and through her divine power is he able to piece everything together and bring every trial to a complete close... at least, he believes it is her aid that allows him to do so.

Atsuko Kurishita ♀

Height: 5′1″

Birthday: Nov 22

Age: 24

Occupation: Interior decorator

Likes: Glitter

Dislikes: Grapes

A bubbly, excitable girl with a keen eye for decor and design, she’s responsible for refurnishing and garnishing the homes of hundreds of homes across Japan, even many celebrities and well-known figures. She is a very emotional person, and can quickly jump from one to the next - quick to smile, quick to anger, quick to cry. She is also an overwhelmingly positive force in the games, collecting as many “pretty” things as she can find and presenting them with kind words to anyone in need of friendship or care. Her ditzy nature can sometimes hinder trials’ progression, but she can just as easily provide many helpful clues with her 1.5 eyes for detail.

Vox Stratos ♂

Height: 5’11″

Birthday: May 1

Age: 24

Occupation: LARPer

Likes: Wind chimes

Dislikes: Sour candy

Being very soft-spoken and gentle, it’s clear that this delicate man is very deep into his self-assigned role as Vox Stratos, an Air Genasi bard that is set on a mission to travel the multiverse and bring peace to his own lands. He can be very dramatic and overzealous in his endeavors and mannerisms, but his intentions are pure and his words are always genuine. However, he tends to be quite dim in terms of piecing together the overall mystery of a trial, and will usually have to be guided by another’s explanations to fully grasp the situation. There can only be speculation as to what kind of person he may really be beneath the guise of Vox Stratos.

Noburo Himura ♂

Height: 6′8″

Birthday: April 25

Age: 30

Occupation: Gravedigger

Likes: Rabbits

Dislikes: Heavy rainfall

A quiet, scary-looking guy like him is definitely someone everyone feels wary of; in truth, it’s not like they have much to be concerned with. Outwardly, his appearance would not leave you surprised to know that he’s responsible for plotting mass graves in no time flat. Despite this, he can be quite the gentle force. His heavy spirituality and desire to keep the worlds of the living and the dead in peace make him a rather benevolent person behind the mask. He may be quiet, but he can offer some solid arguments and points during a trial, and it only aids his usefulness to the group.

Minoru Kurosawa ♀

Height: 4'5"

Birthday: Aug 31

Age: 28

Occupation: Dentist

Likes: History documentaries

Dislikes: Loud music

Despite her stature, she is renowned as a superb force in the dentistry community - having single-handedly performed dental miracles on even the most disastrous of teeth. She is quite like a stern mother figure of the group, always keeping everyone in line and providing herself as a means of support whenever necessary. Her mind is tough and she can be very no-nonsense, but she does mean well in the end. A rather neutral force in trials and investigations, she tends to shine more outside of them and in the element of simple social contact between murders.

Takumi Achikita ♂

Height: 5′7″

Birthday: Feb 8

Age: 25

Occupation: Keysmith

Likes: Sunflowers

Dislikes: Annoying people

Famous for his ability to craft keys that open any and all locks, this cold boy is certainly a foil character of the group. He’s cocky, arrogant, and manipulative - and his only goal for this game is to escape, whatever that may mean for him. His uppity, loner behavior is backed by cold outbursts and isolation from the rest of the group, with hardly any empathy or show of concern for others’ wellbeing. Despite this, he does provide excellent talking points and arguments during trials, making him an unfortunately helpful force during investigations.

Sayuri Akashi ♀

Height: 5′3″

Birthday: Jan 2

Age: 28

Occupation: Biochemist

Likes: Renaissance art

Dislikes: The ocean

This mysterious lady is one of the most analytical and logical minds of the group, her forward-thinking mindset being a key part in how effectively she’s concocted several “miracle drugs” that have successfully aided in the world of eradicating/improving mental health. Her sharp eyes are a blessing for investigations, able to latch onto any minute detail and provide ample evidence into a trial. However, her logic cannot help but cripple her in terms of social understanding and communication with the group.

Habiki Bando ♂

Height: 5′9″

Birthday: July 7

Age: 25

Occupation: Drummer

Likes: Frogs

Dislikes: Serious conversations

This upbeat boy has a passion for drumming and an even bigger passion for making people smile. He’s the drummer for a ska band so successful and well-adored, he’s considered as “The Boy Who Made Ska Actually Cool”. His joyful nature and his constant joking (despite the fact that his humor tends to fall flat and not work) creates a very friendly appearance for him. Unfortunately, his cheeriness cannot overshadow the fact that his usefulness in trials and investigations is less-than-admirable. However, some of his capabilities may have some sort of merit down the road, if he keeps his ears open.

Koya Hamasaki ♂

Height: 5′11″

Birthday: Oct 11

Age: 26

Occupation: Sea captain

Likes: Letter-writing

Dislikes: Clowns

This foul-mouthed guy has the capability to successfully and efficiently man the wheel of any sea vessel put in front of him, and this notability is something that has built up his status as the Ultimate Captain. He’s quite the loud, rambunctious party type, and his dirty humor and sly comments are a large aspect of his outward, confident appearance. This confidence also drives him to assert control and act as the head of the party, despite most everyone’s protest. However, this confidence is faulty in trials, leading him to be more hasty in judgement. Perhaps something lies beneath that confidence that he works to hide?

Tetsuya Yomohiro ♂

Height: 6′0″

Birthday: May 15

Age: 27

Occupation: ???

Likes: Gin

Dislikes: Insects

Waking up with little to no personal memory, he doesn’t let this sway him in his endeavors to focus on the game and protect himself from certain death. Although he may not know much of his own life, he certainly knows how to throw around wit and banter and talk his way around any situation thrown at him. He’d prove helpful as an ally, but he could become quite the bother as an enemy. Despite his quiet charm, it’s easy to see he harbors a lot of natural sadness and pessimism, always looking to stifle his emotions with a drink or a cigarette. Whoever he may be, he clearly has a lot on his mind, even with the amnesia.

Yama Ryumine ♀

Height: 5′10″

Birthday: July 24

Age: 28

Occupation: Rock Climber

Likes: Alternative music

Dislikes: Economics

Famous for scaling mountainsides in record times with relative ease, she’s cocky and brave, always needing to be moving and cannot sit still to save her life. She’s a bit dense in terms of putting things together, but her bravery is always much appreciated in terms of bringing others to justice and understanding. All about fairness and equality, she is quick to defend others and give the benefit of the doubt.

Masumi Ichino ♀

Height: 5′3″

Birthday: Sep 18

Age: 23

Occupation: Calligraphy teacher

Likes: Video games

Dislikes: Yelling

This studious girl has been deemed her talent based on her superior capabilities to mimic most handwriting styles and can craft the most eloquent-looking calligraphic wordforms, even being so skilled as to personally pen the lettering of notices from high officials of Japan (the irony is that her natural handwriting is garbage). She’s quite docile and easy to startle and fluster, but her good-hearted nature and her clever mind makes her a valuable ally during the killing game.

Riku “Rick” Ushinōka ♂

Height: 5′5″

Birthday: Mar 2

Age: 24

Occupation: Farmer/”Cowboy”

Likes: Origami

Dislikes: Dark chocolate

This quiet boy, given the official title of Ultimate Farmer, is largely responsible for creating one of Japan’s highest-grossing farmlands in the nation’s recorded history, producing mass quantities of produce and farm life that has kept Japan strongly powered. His entire life has been in moderate isolation, having been homeschooled up until being brought to Hope’s Peak, so his communication skills amongst people his age leaves a lot to be desired. Though he lacks a fair amount of common sense and intelligence, what he does provide is a sharp eye for detail and order, and his capabilities to notice details will prove useful in his time in the killing game.

Yuriko Iwasaki ♀

Height: 5′7″

Birthday: Oct 29

Age: 25

Occupation: Chess player

Likes: Sudoku puzzles

Dislikes: Working hard

This proud girl has countless trophies, plaques, and awards recognizing her as the world’s most proficient grandmaster of chess. Her mind is sharp and her tongue is equally so - she has quite the sense of self-importance, believing herself to be the strongest asset in the killing game and talking down to anyone who views otherwise. Despite her rough, callous nature, she does provide quite the analytical perspective and holds the potential to be incredibly useful during trials and investigations.

Rei Obara ♀

Height: 5′7″

Birthday: Jan 18

Age: 26

Occupation: Cutler

Likes: Horror films

Dislikes: Cuttlefish

This girl is cold and aloof, her notoriety as one of the most gifted knife-makers in the world certainly affecting this reputation; she holds the capability to craft a razor-sharp blade from nearly any material given to her (see kiwami japan). Her humor is dry and her wit is endless, and she has little interest in making friends or growing close with anyone, fully understanding the severity of the situation and knowing that her status as a cutler certainly paints her as a threat, pushing her to further distance herself from the group. Despite this distance and her lack of ability to pick up on the nuances of the game, perhaps she can still prove useful in defending the rest of the group from whatever ultimate evil their captor has planned.

Jato Wakashira ♂

Height: 6’1″

Birthday: Oct 1

Age: 26

Occupation: Fashion designer

Likes: Summertime

Dislikes: Rough textures

This vivacious, lively man is the creator of some of the most trendy, in-style clothing collections, achieving international success and fame early on in his solo career and attained a celebrity status and amassed a huge social following. His flirtatious charisma and cheery attitude make him incredibly amiable, and his passion for clothing is unrivaled. Though he works hard to try and get along with everyone and get in the good graces of everyone in the game, he can’t help but form a bit of a wall with everyone and keep people at arm’s length throughout the events - a natural distrust lying beneath the surface. He fears anyone getting too close and discovering what he’s really like behind all the charm and sweetness - not fear for himself, but fear for them.

Kana Jikiba ♀

Height: 5’5”

Birthday: Feb 27

Age: 25

Occupation: Ceramicist

Likes: Raspberries

Dislikes: Loud noises

This bizarre girl has a lot of strangeness and uncertainty about her character - not many people are sure of her background, her nationality, or anything of that sort. However, what most people do know about her is her incredible aptitude for crafting some of the finest porcelain pieces to ever be made; everything from plates to tea sets to decorative pieces to even her own mask has the careful touch of a genuine artist behind them. She may be proficient in the art of ceramics, but she seems to struggle to effectively communicate and connect with other people - her mannerisms, way of speaking, and overall demeanor radiates an aura that makes most people wonder if she’s even human underneath that mask. Despite this, she’s a pleasant force with a surprising amount of intellect that always tries her best to maintain the peace.

#danganronpa #danganronpa oc #fanganronpa #dr oc group #dr oc #void draws

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