#like genuinely;; I thought not a lot would but hey this is a genuine one and I will answer it /pos

[alwaysmaybank]

not enough, until it was

soft!bf!rafe x reader

warnings: barely proofread, i think thats it!

based on this ask! hope this is what you wanted ml!

im making a rafe cameron taglist because a lot of people seemed to like soft rafe hours. tell me If you want to be added! (thank you SO much for the love on soft rafe hours! it was my first time writing a blurb or whatever you wanna call it so I didn't know whether you would like it or not. thank you!!)

summary: after a jealous argument at a bonfire party, rafe turns to gifts instead of words, hoping to mend what he broke. but you’re not looking for pretty things—you want honesty, vulnerability, and the apology he’s never been taught how to give.

more under the cut!

you and rafe found yourselves at a cozy bonfire party, a gathering he had personally invited you to. the night was vibrant, filled with laughter, the warm glow of the fire casting a soft light on smiling faces. the air was thick with the scent of charred marshmallows and the distant sound of music. at one moment, rafe left to go get drinks, and in the blink of an eye, he spotted you talking with a guy he didn't recognise. whether it was a shared laugh or a fleeting touch that lingered just a moment too long, he couldn't shake the feeling of unease. rafe wasn't typically known for his jealousy, but when it came to you, it felt almost like second nature.

as the night wore on, the atmosphere shifted, filled with the tension of unspoken words and lingering glances. rafe's mind raced with thoughts that turned into sharp comments like "are we really doing this again?", "that didn’t seem like a friend to me," and "are you serious?" you responded to his questions with silence, and he retreated to the couch, leaving a rift that hung in the air.

the next morning, you woke up to find a small, neatly wrapped box resting on your bedside table—a delicate bracelet peeked through the folds of the tissue paper. was this his attempt at an apology? the thought made your chest tighten. with the bracelet in hand, you strode into the living room, where rafe sat, his gaze focused on the news, the familiar look of calm on his face.

"what is this?" you asked, holding the bracelet out towards him.

"a gift," he replied, his voice low and seemingly unbothered, yet the tension was palpable.

"a gift for what?" you pressed, a mix of anticipation and frustration coursing through you.

"because of last night," he mumbled, shifting slightly.

“an apology?” you scoffed, disbelief dripping from your words. “this isn’t good enough.”

for a fleeting moment, he paused, contemplation weighing heavily in his silence. words? he couldn't.

"baby, you know I can't—"

you cut him off, sensing his vulnerability. "you can… and you will," you asserted, your voice unwavering. "no matter how long it takes."

so, you waited. each morning brought a new gift—a pair of glimmering earrings, a stylish dress, or stunning new heels—all beautiful, yet lacking the sincerity you craved. you held your ground, refusing to accept material gestures as substitutes for genuine emotion.

then one morning, the cycle stopped. you stirred from sleep to find rafe beside you, his arms fiercely wrapped around your waist, as if you were the only anchor in a turbulent sea. the intimacy of the moment was tempting—part of you wanted to sink back into the comfort of slumber and let him rest undisturbed. but this wasn’t truly an apology.

with gentle movement, you shifted, waking him up.

“hey, baby,” he murmured, that familiar lopsided smirk surfacing on his lips.

“are you going to apologise now?” you asked, your tone edged with curiosity. what was so difficult about saying the words?

“i already did,” he replied softly.

“the gifts and… this,” you breathed, gesturing to him still holding you close, “aren’t an apology!”

though he kept his arms around you, a frown creased his brow. “i didn’t know how else to show you.”

“then say it! don’t buy anything. don’t wrap it up in a little box and leave it on my pillow, rafe. i don’t want things; i want you. i want to hear you say it out loud.”

he searched your eyes, as if the words lodged in his throat were somehow foreign, a language he had never mastered. rafe had never had to learn the nuances of real apologies—not from his father, and certainly not from anyone else.

“i was…” he began, pausing as if the admission caused him physical pain. “i was scared. scared of losing you, scared of looking foolish, scared of being… replaceable.”

“so, you picked a fight with me instead?” you questioned, frowning.

“yeah,” he admitted, his voice cracking ever so slightly. “because if i say i’m jealous, you’ll think i don’t trust you. if i say i’m scared, you’ll think i’m weak. so i bought gifts, believing that would somehow fix things. i give, hoping it will cover the mess i made.”

you took in his words, feeling a mixture of understanding and sympathy. he was finally here—fully present without the facade of charm or humor.

“rafe cameron,” you said softly, “you’re allowed to be scared. but you don’t get to punish me for it.”

his eyes softened. “i know.”

“then say it.”

he swallowed hard, and after what felt like an eternity, he finally managed to voice it: “i’m sorry. for picking a fight when i should’ve just told you how i felt. for ruining the night. for hurting you.”

you nodded—not out of triumph, but because you recognized the struggle it took for him to get those words out. “thank you.” leaning in, you pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, and he exhaled as if he had been holding his breath for days.

“and i’m still keeping the dress,” you added, a teasing tone creeping into your voice.

“that’s fair,” he replied, his arms tightening around you as if to solidify the moment. “it looked even better on you than i imagined.”

check out more of my works! my masterlist

[laurynjc-art]

Trial Separation: A BMC One-Shot

I watch as Jeremy hoists the box into his arms and shoves it into the back of his car with the other piles of junk he’s lugging out to college. I’m honestly a little surprised that he’s kept up the whole “impure thoughts = push-ups” thing his squip forced him into last year, but old habits do die hard. I don’t mind. He can finally be useful when we’re at my place and I get a sudden desire to rearrange my bedroom in the middle of the night. And his girlfriend Christine certainly doesn’t mind, either. I have plenty of blackmail from knowing Jeremy for thirteen years, but I’m sure he’ll do anything I ask if I ever threaten to tell Christine why Jeremy wound up a beefcake overnight.

I wish I could say I was part of the junk Jeremy was bringing up to college, but earlier in the year, it was made pretty clear that Jeremy was flying out in the world solo. This was an upsetting realization for both of us- “Jeremy, I don’t think I even know what I want to do with my life.” I’d told him at some point after we took the SATs.

“What do you mean?” He asked. “You’re not going to kill yourself, are you?”

“No,” I said. “I don’t know what I want to do with my life.” It was some decision paralysis, mostly; I could do just about anything. Math, science, coding, I know computers inside and out. But the question was: what skills needed more refinement? What could I get by on? Like how I was already taking Calculus 1 as a junior, which is a lot more than some people can say. And what if I wanted to try and learn about something completely new? I’m not much of an artist, my writing is abysmal by Jeremy’s standards… I got to a point where thinking about it for too long made me want to start screaming.

But then at some point I remembered: oh yeah, high schoolers aren’t legally mandated to be shipped off to college as soon as they graduate. And my decisions began to clear up.

I thought about staying home for another year or so to work, bulk up my savings, maybe take some community college classes if I’m really bored. And school blows, maybe breaking up my theoretical sixteen consecutive years of education and giving myself a break would be better for me.

We had a really long discussion one night about this, Jeremy and I. About our lives and what the future might look like. Which sucked for him, I know I was the one hyping him up about college, and now I’m the one having second thoughts and backing out. There was a lot of weed and a lot more crying, all the while my Wii’s menu music served as the background track to our bout of vulnerability.

Eventually, after a good while of silence, Jeremy lit up a roll and said, “You can do whatever you want.” His phrasing and tone scared me, as did the fact he took a long drag on his joint without saying anything else. I worried this was going to be Jake’s Halloween Party all over again, but then Jeremy grinned and looked back at me with more tears in his eyes. I’m not sure if they were genuine or a result of him getting too high. “I’ll always be behind you. And hey, maybe a trial separation is a good thing.”

“You were the one who made me swear that we’d be going together,” I joked.

“Because I’d miss you!” Jeremy wailed. I chuckled, he was definitely too high. “I can’t stand it when you’re home sick from school, what am I supposed to do when we’re actually God knows how far away from each other?”

“Hey. Hey.” I put my arm around his shoulders. “We’ll figure it out. No matter where we end up.”

And finally, I cleared my decision with my moms, who were more than thrilled to let me stay a basement dweller for another year or so.

Jeremy slams the trunk of his car shut and leans on it, looking at me like he’s expecting me to say something.

“Is that all?” I ask.

“Mm-hm.” Jeremy nods, but his lips are pursed in his “I’m sad but don’t want to talk about it so I’m going to just run away and cry” way. Like he thinks I can’t see right through him.

“Do you want to talk?” I ask him.

“No,” is all he says.

“Do you want me to leave so you can cry into your porn?”

“Shut up.” Jeremy takes a swing at me, but I catch his arm and pull him into an embrace. He hugs me back just as hard.

“It’ll only be a few months, Jer,” I say.

“I know,” he replies. I could hear that he was crying, and I might’ve accidentally made it worse by rubbing his back. He sobs, then says, “I’ll just miss you, man.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

Jeremy lets me go so he can wipe his face, and a thought crosses my mind that I worry is a bit too coupley, but hey, who decided articles of clothing were only supposed to be exchanged with a significant other, anyway?

So, as if I’d been planning it all day, I untie my jacket from my waist and hand it to Jeremy.

“Here. Now I’ll be going up with you,” I say. Jeremy gasps.

“B-but Michael, this is your favorite!” He objects.

“Well, you’re my favorite.”

Jeremy laughs in a way that’s more like another sob, then says, “What are we, dating in middle school?”

“Good point,” I joke along. “I wouldn’t wear that around Christine, she might get jealous.” Jeremy laughs, really laughs, which makes me laugh, and then I get this pang in my heart because I don’t think it actually registered until now that oh, yeah, we’re not going out into the world together. I don’t know the next time I’ll get a moment like this. I start tearing up a bit and pray that Jeremy doesn’t notice, but of course he does.

“No no, stop,” Jeremy cries, throwing his arms around my neck. I cannot resist picking him up and spinning him around, and we could have stayed locked in our embrace all night if a cold evening wind hadn’t started cutting through us.

“I guess I better go,” I tell him. “Don't… do anything stupid.”

“I’m pretty sure I already cashed in my stupid,” Jeremy smirks, “but yeah. Obviously.”

One more hug, then I’m in my car and waving goodbye to Jeremy through my rear-view window. For a moment, a pit in my stomach forms at the fear that this might be the beginning of the end for us, but I banish it. We’ve separated under worse circumstances and came back together regardless. It’s just a year. He won’t be that far away. And besides, doesn’t distance make the heart grow fonder?

[quibbs]

so i've always loved ur art from afar and hadn't had the chance to sit down with stbu. but for the past few weeks i've been reading through all of it and i'm absolutely in love with your storytelling and watching your art grow over the course of the comic and the characters and just everything!! you're a really accomplished creator and i admire your work. i can't wait for more in the future and just seeing more art from you in general. you're fantastic. have a lovely day.

hey thank you for this sweet ask..! i think i say it a lot but i'm genuinely always (happily) surprised to see other people connect with my work at all... to me it often all feels too personal and self indulgent and inconsistent to truly resonate with an audience, and i'm grateful for the reminder that that is not necessarily always the case.

ever since you sent this ask in i've been chewing slowly on the phrase "accomplished creator" in my brain, bc it surprised me so much. i don't think i've ever thought of myself as accomplished (not that that's a bad thing at all! i've just never considered what i do to be what one would typically regard as successful or masterful or anything. again, not that that's a bad thing. i think as long as you are always meeting yourself at the threshold of your own passion then that's always successful enough). but as i chew, i do really appreciate your kind words..! its very sweet that you felt so strongly about my art and stories and work that you felt the need to tell me, and asks like this always make me smile. and like i said: i'm generally always blown away to hear that my work has had any positive impact at all on anyone, and grateful that it resonated with you.

thank you very much! hope you have a lovely night

[gleepatrol]

I've been seeing a lot of dunking on Chimera lately (deserved) so I decided to pitch in. I might have hyped this up already, but it's finally here. Welcome to...

A Serious Review of Meteorcare's Designs

by gleepatrol/Mod Rocket

Disclaimer: THIS IS BY NO MEANS TO SUPPORT CHIMERA! For many reasons. In fact, this was made to clown on him, but in a thoughtful way where the readers can get something useful out of it.

CW: blood and eyestrain, but you probably already knew that.

Under the cut because this is long.

First and foremost, let's introduce our victims. I will mostly keep myself limited to the worst designs of the bunch so we actually have something to talk about.

Meet Pepper, Fotoh, Bea, and Banger. And their parents because it will be relevant: Doom and Uni, unknown, Bec and Scratch, and Hemera and Uni, respectively. I will put those parent characters below so we have some context.

One last touch, I'm not touching the silhouettes or outfits except for color tweaks. They're fine. They're whatever.

Case 1: Pepper

My immediate thought looking at this character: where did half of these colors come from?

The purple is technically from Uni (Cometcare Uni's wings to be exact. But she can change the color of those at any moment? I don't think that would be genetic or end up being the main body color even if they were.) and the white is from Doom, but the green? The blue? The grey? No freaking clue! You could argue the blue and green are from Doom's ear stripes, but how is such a minor area spreading to their tail and eyes? They only make sense on the ears. On an extra note, this also begs the question, where are the fur patterns from? You can and should deviate a little from the parents, don't get me wrong. I'm not a fan of miniature clone children myself, but Pepper's patterns make him look more like a raccoon more than a dog/rat hybrid.

My second thought, what is the theme here? I believe it's supposed to be arcadecore or party themed but that's not clear from the name or design. I only glimpsed that information from their bio. These colors don't really read arcade or party. They feel random since they neither relate to the theme or very strongly to her parents' colors. If anything, Uni's original electric magenta read arcade better! It's the lack of intent that bothers me. I cannot see the vision!

One more minor note: the grey and purple blend in quite a bit. I would make one and/or the other lighter and/or darker. Don't believe me? Let's try the classic black and white filter trick.

Unreadable. As I said. But hey buddy, you genuinely look better in black and white! I don't have to look at those random colors! Here's Doom in black and white for reference.

You can still tell what's a different color.

But anyway. Enough yapping. Let me show you visually how I would change Pepper. Don't you dare use this if you are Chimera or any associate of his. This isn't a free redesign for you or your cronies. I will speak up if I catch any of you using anything I edit from here on out.

PS: I've heard some roasts of Pepper's arm, but I rather like it myself. It gives a new spin on Doom's multiple limbs thing and if you got a problem with that you have a problem with Smoky Quartz from Steven Universe who did this first. Anyway!

Doesn't this read better as a Doomi child who likes to party? The colors are simper and more intentful now!

I also tried to combine some similar colors such as making the blue on the shirt match the eyes and the red becoming pink to reduce the overall pallet.

Case 2: Fotoh

Need I say it again? What do these colors have to do with the theme? Also, too many colors! Her allotpun is photonegative which are those inverse color pictures like this:

Cool theme! We are barely using it though. Easy fix. Keep the blue colors and toss almost everything else! There were way too many colors with no apparent reason to have so many.

This is still ugly imo but it's justfiably ugly given the theme, so I can excuse it. Take it I guess. She actually looks nice when. Well, photonegatived (right image) so uh gimmick character. I couldn't think of anything better. I know she's still ugly. Feel free to improve on my edit because I'll accept that.

Case 3: Bea

Where. Do I even start. This is the opposite problem as Pepper. We are taking Too Many of the parents' colors. It's too much, very busy. Why are those pink spots there? Neither parent has spots of that color! My suggestion, pick some of the coherent colors of the parents that go together well, not all of them. I will respect this character being so neon due to lore reasons, but geeezzzzz neon doesn't mean complete eyebleed. Taking a look at Bec and Scratch, they both have blue as a prominent color, so we can play with that to start off the pallet. Bec also has yellow while Scratch is green. These could work as well since they are analogous colors to blue. Keep in mind analogous and complementary colors when designing! It's very helpful! While Bec also has purple eyes and Scratch has pink ones with pink elsewhere, I'm going to mostly ignore these colors since they would add too much to both be included.

(Aside note, I just noticed while trying to edit how many coloring and linework errors Bea has; goodness gracious. But that's not the point of this essay.)

You can see I also changed the scar color because they were just abrasively pink and colored as if they were fresh which I'll take a wild guess and assume they're not. Also, I snuck in Bec's purple into the shorts because "why orange?"

Base 4: Banger

Oh, no. It's the final boss. Is that One Winged Angel playing in the background? (Haha Banger only has one wing, two for one joke) All jokes aside, hoooooo boy. I. Yeah. Okay, first of all, why does he have stitched on parts? That shouldn't be inherited from Hemera. Those are not genetic! Those were part of her design because she was being tortured like a science experiment! By no logic should Banger have these unless he was also experimented on which would be weird since Sparklecare shouldn't exist anymore if it's a Cometcare kid. First tip, get rid of this. Second, the only way I can phrase this point is: "this is my son, he has every disease". Broken horn, torn ear, glows-a-lot (which neither Hemera nor Uni have), sewn on parts, only one wing. Some of these are fine in isolation but all of them just feels ridiculous especially with no reason given. I think the reason might be it's reckelss so everything got hurt so I'll keep the broken or torn stuff and the one wing thing because that's the most interesting twist I'll say: only having one wing. Also, why are there patterns on your wings? Where did that come from? That's an artstyle thing, you realize that right? Not part of Uni's actual design? Also, need I say this again, say it with me folks: too many colors! And where are they from? The only ones that seem to be from somewhere is the purple and yellow from Uni but I can't read a single hint of Hemera here except for the replaced limbs which I already explained how I don't understand that decision.

I think he's supposed to be beach themed? But honestly, it's giving random button on the Picrew instead.

So, here's what I have. I still kept the belly orange but this time it was for a reason: to have a sunset color. Pretend it's Hemera's yellow and Uni's purple mixed.

I also added some blue to make the Hemera part clearer and changed the glows-a-lot to hemophilia like Hemera to make his connection to her clearer. The wing is now from Uni's pink wing to go with the sunset theme as are the orange shorts.

And that's all!

Congratulations! You survived this essay! If you're Not Chimera, feel free to steal my edits. Fair game! I allow you to!

TLDR: Stop including so many unnecessary colors without a clear theme in mind and stop giving them every feature from their parents combined! Look at a color wheel for analogous and complementary colors, and use your black and white filter every now and again!

[summerfated]

"it  has  to  have  some  sort  of  connection  to  this  one  too.  don't  you  think?  if  it's  not  the  same  one  then  ...  it's  someone  who  is  mimicking  this  person."  they  had  to  have  been  involved  in  some  sort  of  way  with  the  previous  set  of  murders  that  have  happened.  the  way  it's  starting  to  happen  again  just  proves  that  no  one  really  is  safe.  'why  now?'was  also  another  question  that  skye  had  been  asking  herself.  "you  can  be  a  bit  much,  can't  you?  i  don't  know  maybe  that  was  one  of  the  reasons  why  i  liked  you  when  we  first  met."  in  a  way,  she  realized  later  than  she  should  have  that  he  was  just  trying  to  show  her  that  he  was  there  for  her.  he  wasn't  ever  trying  to  do  that  to  hurt  her  and  she  turned  him  away  entirely  when  she  shouldn't  have.  that's  what  she  regrets  the  most.  "thank  you!  i  just  ...  i  wish  i  would've  just  seen  that  then  just  pushing  everyone  away  who  was  just  trying  to  help.  i  let  myself  be  alone  because  i  thought  it  was  easier  and  if  anything  it  was  a  lot  worse.  maybe  you  don't,  but  i've  been  starting  to  blame  myself  more."  it  was  one  of  the  main  factors  of  why  they  had  ended  in  the  first  place.  only  if  she  had  realized  that  he  was  just  trying  to  be  the  good  person  that  he  was  when  she  had  first  met  him.  that  was  one  of  the  reasons  she  fell  for  him  in  the  first  place.  when  he  wrapped  his  arms  around  her,  she  wasn't  expecting  it  at  first  and  would  wrap  her  arms  around  him;  staying  there  for  a  moment  before  pulling  back  from  it.  "that's  the  goal..  and  hey,  who  knows?  maybe  we'll  both  find  our  happy  endings  and  they'll  be  far,  far  away  from  here."  skye  didn't  mind  the  hug...  if  anything?  she  really  needed  one  but  wouldn't  of  been  the  one  to  say  it.  "i'd  hope  so,  but  figured  maybe  you  would've  deleted  it  after  everything  and  i  can't  say  that  i'd  blame  you.  and  of  course  not!  should  i  have  just  put  a  big  x  or  mad  emoji  next  to  your  name?"  a  nod  of  her  head  followed  when  she  listened  to  him  speak.  with  this  conversation  it  felt  like  they  weren't  enemies  anymore  or  on  bad  terms.  that  life  just  worked  out  the  way  it  did  for  them  and  they  stood  a  chance  to  live  in  this  town  together.  "you  wouldn't  of  bothered  me..  i  guess  i  just  needed  more  time  to  process  it  all  than  i  realized."  genuinely,  she  couldn't  remember  the  last  time  that  they  have  had  a  civil  conversation  with  each  other.  "you  have  a  really  good  point  and  i  wish  i  could  learn  to  not  stress..  but,  really,  how  do  you  do  that?"  there  was  a  chance  she  was  going  to  miss  it  on  purpose.  when  she  rethought  about  it  she  figured  it  would've  been  a  good  thing  to  get  out  of  her  house  for  a  change.  "as  you  should  be!  and  come  on..  i  was  trying  to  be  nice  here.  should  i  be  looking  forward  to  see  you  at  a  westbay  event?  i  guess  i'll  just  have  to  remember  this  for  next  time."  her  voice  full  of  sarcasm  with  a  playful  eyeroll.

“i heard that, about someone doing this back then… my mom told me about it once. do you think that killer is this one?” luka asks. the thought of the same person being behind the slaying of feyza gave him chills but he remained calm in front of skye. still, if the killer was the same person. he couldn’t understand why now… after all these years “well, sometimes… i can be a bit much, if you remember.” he smiles, though he really could be too much. his persistent need to help skye open up and get her to trust him led to her pushing him away. it hurt luka a little. “i don’t doubt it. i know i was scared to lose you too after everything that happened with sienna. you know, you can always talk to me. it’s hard keeping everything to yourself.” luka responds. hearing skye talk about her sister, he reaches out to skye. wrapping his arms around her before he speaks again. “it wasn’t your fault, skye. you had a lot going on, i don’t blame you for the way you handled things,” he whispers softly in her ear. he hated that she put on the blame on herself for the end of their relationship. she pushed him away but he could be a bit too desperate. he put a lot of pressure on skye, too much pressure. “and i really am glad you stayed but if you ever do get the opportunity to leave. don’t be afraid to take it.” he lets go of skye, a blush on his cheek because he really didn’t know if hugging her was the right thing to do. “i’m glad you didn’t. i still have your contact saved too… and really? no silly emoji? wow, i’m hurt.” his voice playful before he continues, “well that’s good to know, i guess i never noticed if you blocked me or not. i honestly didn’t want to bother you after we broke up.” talking to her felt natural at this point. he couldn’t believe how nervous he was when the conversation started. he hoped after this conversation, that at the very least they could be friends. he nods as she talks, it was so easy for her to captivate him. “you didn’t bring the mood down, i’m just saying that for your own sake… you don’t need to be stressing so much.” he reassures her, looking down at his feet for a moment then back at her, “really? that makes me happy to hear. i’ll be keeping an eye out for you,” luka grins widely at her confirmation. he honestly was gonna skip too until he heard her say she was going. he wasn’t gonna miss out on an opportunity to see her. “wait, what do you mean now you’ve got a reason?”

[dreamcatcher-roulette]

I still haven't recovered from Sydney actually oh my god. I went a little um. Crazy. On the snapshots. And I started trying to figure out which pose to do with who and if I should do something special with yooh because she's my ult bias but ultimately I was like well but I love them all. Hearts for everyone. So the first six were in Melbourne and genuinely every single one of them was magical and I don't regret a single bit of that money because I'm first of all so happy I got to thank all of them in person but also I'm going to treasure those pics forever but then Sydney was like. The Big one. You know. AND SHE PRANKED ME.

[I removed the image because I got Scared people who know me could see the image and realise it's me even with the blur lol. She's giving me bunny ears]

So now I have six hearts and yooh doing this which is better than I could have ever imagined 😭 the spike in my heartrate halfway back to the SVIP hitouch line when I opened my photos and realised....

[astrxealis]

if i do "?" in text i'm genuinely tilting my head like a dog if i do "!!" my eyes are sparkling and i am figuratively wagging my tail if i am IN ALL CAPS i'm screaming from the top of a mountain with all the power i can with love and the strength of RAGHHH within me

[caromari]

just finished watching all of ash coyote’s furry documentaries and ive never wanted to wear a fursuit more in my life than in this moment 👉👈

[planet4546b]

i dont have this thought totally coherently put together but its odd to me just how often discussions of neurodivergence + jobs seem to act like all jobs in the world are desk jobs

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

for whom good omens is being written

Hey maggots and the rest of the fandom, it's the Good Omens Mascot here. Today I read a post about this tweet:

The accompanying video genuinely made me cry. And I've been thinking about this for a long while, as far back as February, when I saw a lot of conflicting opinions on what people wanted from the third season. It really is true that no matter what you do, some people will be dissatisfied. But what matters is that Neil is writing this for Terry.

And I was reminded of some paragraphs from the Good Omens TV Companion, which I'd read in Amazon's sample excerpt of the book. I know this is a long post, but I really truly do think you all need to read these, I've done my best to select only the most important parts. Here you go:

'His Alzheimer's started progressing harder and faster than either of us had expected,' says Neil, referring to a period in which Terry recognized that despite everything he could no longer write. 'We had been friends for over thirty years, and during that time he had never asked me for anything. Then, out of the blue, I received an email from him with a special request. It read: “Listen, I know how busy you are. I know you don't have time to do this, but I want you to write the script for Good Omens. You are the only human being on this planet who has the passion, love and understanding for the old girl that I do. You have to do this for me so that I can see it." And I thought, “OK, if you put it like that then I'll do it."

'I had adapted my own work in the past, writing scripts for Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman, but not a lot else was seen. I'd also written two episodes of Doctor Who, and so I felt like I knew what I was doing. Usually, having written something once I'd rather start something new, but having a very sick co-author saying I had to do this?' Neil spreads his hands as if the answer is clear to see. 'I had to step up to the plate.' A pause, then: 'All this took place in autumn 2014, around the time that the BBC radio adaptation of Good Omens was happening,' he continues, referring to the production scripted and co-directed by Dirk Maggs and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Mark Heap. ‘Terry had talked me into writing the TV adaptation, and I thought OK, I have a few years. Only I didn't have a few years,' he says. 'Terry was unconscious by December and dead by March.'

He pauses again. 'His passing took all of us by surprise,' Neil remembers. 'About a week later, I started writing, and it was very sad. The moments Terry felt closest to me were the moments I would get stuck during the writing process. In the old days, when we wrote the novel, I would send him what I'd done or phone him up. And he would say, "Aahh, the problem, Grasshopper, is in the way you phrase the question," and I would reply, "Just tell me what to do!" which somehow always started a conversation. 'In writing the script, there were times I'd really want to talk to Terry, and also places where I'd figure something out and do something really clever, and I would want to share it with him. So, instead, I would text Terry's former personal assistant, Rob Wilkins, now his representative on Earth. It was the nearest thing I had.'

(...) As Neil himself recognizes, this is an adaptation built upon the confidence that comes from three decades of writing for page and screen. But for all the wisdom of experience, he found that above all one factor guided him throughout the process. 'Terry isn't here, which leaves me as the guardian of the soul of the story,' he explains. 'It's funny because sometimes I found myself defending Terry's bits harder or more passionately than I would defend my own bits. Take Agnes Nutter,' he says, referring to what has become a key scene in the adaptation in which the seventeenth-century author of the book of prophecies foretelling the coming of the Antichrist is burned at the stake. ‘It was a huge, complicated and incredibly expensive shoot, with bonfires built and primed to explode as well as huge crowds in costume. It had to feel just like an English village in the 1640s, and of course everyone asked if there was a cheap way of doing it. 'One suggestion was that we could tell the story using old-fashioned woodcuts and have the narrator take us through what happened, but I just thought, “No”. Because I had brought aspects of the story like Crowley and the baby swap along to the mix, and Terry created Agnes Nutter. So, if I had cut out Agnes then I wouldn't be doing right by the person who gave me this job. Terry would've rolled over in his grave.'

And, finally, this paragraph:

"Once again, Neil cites the absence of his co-writer as his drive to ensure that Good Omens translated to the screen and remained true to the original vision. 'Terry's last request to me was to make this something he would be proud of. And so that has been my job.'"

I think that's so heartwrenchingly beautiful, and so I wanted you all to read this, too, just in case you (like me) don't have the Good Omens TV Companion. It adds another layer of depth and emotion to this already complex and amazing story that we all know and love.

Share this post, if you can, please, so that more people can read these excerpts :")

Tagging @neil-gaiman, @fuckyeahgoodomens and @orpiknight, even if you've definitely read these before :)

[lizardho]

I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.

By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.

At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.

I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).

I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.

I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).

I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)

I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.

I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.

A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.

After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.

I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.

On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.

Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕

[mercy-burning]

Backseat Benefits

"You are the sun and I am the moon; What light you see in me is merely yours, reflected across the length of night" --William C. Hannah

——————

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: On your way home one night, Spencer innocently wonders aloud about the benefits of a car's backseat. You aim to show him what they might be. Category: Smut (18+), Fluff Content: Making out, Heavy petting, blowjob, vaginal fingering/oral, good ol' fashioned car foolin' around. Baby Spencer is low-key insecure but fighting through it Word Count: 3.1k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: Yeah, so what Spencer wonders about backseats is the thought I had while loading in my groceries this morning LMAOO, and then Diet Pepsi by Addison Rae came on shuffle when I got in, and I started this in the Walmart parking lot. Therefore this is not proofread. I briefly skimmed after I finished, but that's IT. Enjoy!

---------

You like to think you know Spencer pretty well; Two years of being friends and two more of a relationship under your belts has more than proven your mutual knowing and loving and understanding of each other.

Still, he manages to find ways to surprise you every day without even trying.

Tonight, you're on your way back to his apartment from seeing a movie a few towns over. The moon flashes in and out of view as tall, full trees whip past you in the night. You think Spencer might be staring, craning his head and trying to focus on the moonlight, but eventually you notice his eyes are trained on the rear view mirror.

"Something on your mind, Sunshine?"

His nose crinkles affectionately at the pet name you've coined for him. While you're sure there are more poetic ways to describe his aura and the way he makes you feel, there wasn't a better word in the moment you could have come up with to fully encapsulate his warmth. He was pure sunshine incarnate, and so the first week you'd known each other, it became clear that there was no other option. The nickname slipped past your lips without a second thought, he looked panicked and flushed for a moment before bumbling through his response, and it stuck.

The memory of it makes you smile as he answers you.

"I was just thinking... A large percentage of vehicles have backseats, but I wonder how many of them actually get used... I mean, sure, children basically only know the backseat, and families and friend groups will spend time there... But if you're the owner of a vehicle, chances are you haven't sat in your backseat. And after all, why would you? But it makes you wonder, how many vehicle owners are truly familiar with the backseat of their car?"

The momentary silence between you feels almost comical, but you're only trying to process. Is it a truly curious statement, or...

"Are you asking if I'm familiar with my backseat?"

The suggestive implication in your tone completely goes over his head, answering your question. "Well, no, that wasn't my intention, but... Are you?"

"Kinda," you answer truthfully. "I mean, I've loaded groceries into the backseat, and I've... Spent some time back there."

Spencer looks to you and raises an eyebrow, genuinely curious and asking for elaboration. It hadn't clicked yet.

Another silence falls between you for a while before he understands, his features contorting with realization and then embarrassment. "Oh..."

You can't help but laugh. "I mean, it's been a while, but... Yeah."

"I mean, I suppose it is a cliche for young lovers to hook up in the back of a car... But I didn't even think about it..."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, this car has only seen one rendezvous in my lifetime with it, and it has been heavily sanitized since then. So if you're curious about the backseat of my car, you're welcome to sit back there anytime you like."

He groans, scrunching his nose again, only less affectionately and in that way you've come to recognize as embarrassment. "I'm sorry. That was an odd conversation."

"Hey. I'm serious. Don't you ever apologize for being curious, especially not around me, alright?"

"Yeah, alright."

You can tell he's just trying to move on but that he doesn't actually believe you, and it breaks your heart a little—another thing that's surprised you tonight. After all your years as friends, his inability to recognize precisely how much you adore literally every facet of him never seems to go away. It's gotten better over the years, but on occasion, like now, he fails to believe that someone like you could truly love someone like him. His sunshine slowly starts to disappear behind a little cloud, and though it doesn't happen for very long, each time it does, it makes you want to curse the world and whatever forces have sprung him with storms of sorrow.

And it's happening now.

You make a quick decision to pull over, and he looks over at you quizzically as the car comes to a complete stop.

"Is everything alright?" he asks, concerned more for you than himself.

"No. You put the thought in my brain, and now I just wanna sit in my backseat and see what's going on back there."

Spencer's eyes drop. "You don't have to do that..."

Instead of responding, you unbuckle your seatbelt and leave the car running, opening the door. "C'mon."

He tries to stop you, but you climb out away from his hand and close the door behind you, bracing yourself against the gentle summer wind. And now the thought really is running rampant in your head; You'd never thought about it before, but merely opening the back door feels different in your hand than when you open the driver's door. You don't know if it's just a trick of the mind—a product of the task at hand—or if there's any technical difference in the way back and front car doors are designed.

When you finally sit down in the backseat, you're about to tell Spencer about your thoughts on it only to find out that he's gone, but only for a few seconds. He climbs in beside you, his hair astray from the wind.

You smile. "Welcome to the backseat, Sunshine. Take off your jacket, stay a while."

Your words have managed to make him laugh. A small victory— a beam of light protruding from his little cloud.

"It's roomy back here," he muses, looking around, his smile still lingering.

"It's like a whole new world."

Spencer laughs again, and then you follow, and before you know it, the both of you have fallen into a small cyclone of laughter that parts the clouds and lifts the mood entirely.

"I love you," he says at last, scooting in closer to you, your legs touching now.

You reach your hand out to grab his, bringing it to rest on your chest, right where your heart sits beneath flesh and bone. "I love you, too, Sunshine. Don't you ever forget it."

Your faces have drifted closer now, noses nestling against one another as one more silence befalls you. Only this time, the thing forming in the midst is a different kind of storm. Electric, gravitating, and warm.

His lips find yours with ease, and what a gentle endeavor it is; A small gesture of gratitude and adoration that makes your heart flutter like it had the first time you kissed him. Your hand tightens over his, a squeeze of affection that lets him know you're embracing his warmth, and that you can only hope to return it to him in full.

When your lips part against his, however, something shifts in his gentleness. It firms and grows bold, pressing into you with a desperation that isn't necessarily surprising, but igniting.

You admittedly never pictured yourself making out with Spencer Reid in the backseat of your car, but now that it's happening, the low hum of the air conditioning rumbling through the space between you and the wind rustling outside, you fully embrace the pang of need that takes hold in your body and spreads to every limb.

Wandering hands, curious tongues, and saccharine sighs become your whole world for what feels like hours. Cars occasionally whoosh by, but you pay them no mind, too entirely wrapped up in your boyfriend and the way he's loving you to even consider them. Though, the thought of two government employees being caught for public indecency briefly crosses your mind and makes you huff a laugh into Spencer's mouth.

He breaks apart. "What is it?"

You kiss him again, humming mischievously into him. "Ohhh, you know."

Another kiss, slow and deliberate...

"Just thinking."

Your kisses travel along his jaw, and then his neck. His pulse under your lips is a thrill in its own right, a tangible reminder of the life he so beautifully offers you.

"About the benefits of having an unexplored backseat."

You feel his whole body sigh as your hands untuck his shirt from the band of his pants.

Then he laughs, the sound strained and desperate, and you want to bottle it up and keep it forever. "I thought you've already... explored this backseat."

In another life you would have laughed back, but there is absolutely nothing funny about the way you want him right now. Your body is on fire, screaming at you, begging to please him and feel the weight of him in your mouth, aching for the sounds that slip past his pretty, pouty lips.

Fuck.

"I want to explore it with you," you nearly whine, unbuckling his belt and licking at his collarbone. "God, Spencer, I want you so bad..."

You're not entirely sure what sound escapes him then, but once again he sounds desperate and unbelieving as your hand dips into his pants and palms him over the gray boxers you watched him put on this morning.

It spurs you forward, his desperation feeding your own, and your hand tightens around the length of him, feeling how hard and aching he is.

"Mmm, you want it too, don't you?" you moan into his chest, sinking yourself lower and lower, crawling down his body until your crouched half on the floor of the car.

Spencer swallows hard and tries to control his breathing. "Always want you..."

You grin, satisfied with his state. A man of many words, reduced to half-sentences and mindless whines of want at your mercy. Your sweet, bright boy is putty in your hands, and it's utterly intoxicating.

He manages to lift his hips enough for you to wrestle with his pants and move them down enough so you can slip his cock out of his boxers. Once it's out, firm in your hand and glistening with need, he sits back down and throws his head back.

The sound of your name falls short on his lips the second you put your mouth on him, like he's stopped thinking all together. His world stops, frozen in time as your lips wrap perfectly around him and sink down slowly. Your tongue lays flat under him, firm and wet and warm, and only when he hits the back of your throat does he let out a sound.

You hold yourself there as long as you can, gagging around him briefly before lifting your head and coming off of him with a pop of your lips. A trail of spit comes with them, which you use to help your hand glide smoothly up and down his shaft as you look up at him.

He's watching you work with disbelief, and you're about to say something about it when he surprises you yet again.

"A-Aren't you... uncomfortable? Crouched down like that?"

"Maybe a little," you tell him, squeezing his cock and working the tip in your fist. His eyes squeeze shut, trying to restrain himself from feeling pleasure when you're down here, contorted with uncomfortable limbs. "But that's the whole point, I suppose..."

"I don't follow," he breathes, a whimper chasing after his words when you lean down and press an open-mouthed kiss to the head of his cock.

"When you're young and in love... Hooking up in the backseat... Desperate and passionate for someone..." Your tongue comes out and teases under the tip before you continue, his eyes straining to keep open as he writhes underneath you. "If it means finding a little thrill with the one you love... What's a little discomfort?"

You take him fully in your mouth again, bobbing your head up and down when you see him finally submit to it— the pleasure, the thrill...

Spencer moans, loud, the sound vibrating through you and settling deep in your core. You squeeze your legs together grind your hips into the cramped air, seeking friction in nothing but the fabric clinging to your thighs. Quite literally the living breathing definition of hot and bothered, you can't help but slack your jaw and drool on his cock, reveling in the way it glides over your tongue and repeatedly hits the back of your throat.

"I—I can't... I'm gon—na—"

You moan your approval around the length of him, reaching up to hold Spencer's hand as he twitches and writhes in your mouth. With a final squeeze of his hand, he cries out and lets go. You swallow as much as you can, but with the small space and limited room for precision, it gets messier than you figure he'd enjoy. Still, he sighs blissfully as his load lightens, and when he's orgasmed out, you make quick work of cleaning him up.

He watches you in reverence, softly whimpering at every slow stroke of your tongue as it cleans him. You take your time, leaving no inch of him untouched, uncared for...

Your cunt is practically throbbing by the time you come back up, the sensation only intensifying when Spencer pulls you into him immediately. His lips move over yours wildly, a languid labor of love that isn't laborious at all. In fact, he kisses you like he's been doing it his whole life, with no hesitation or question, and with every ounce of enthusiasm one could possibly carry.

Sunshine radiates through his fingertips, hot and enveloping as they slip under your shirt and against the skin of your lower back. You climb over him instinctively, straddling his lap and kissing him back with that same desperation that had infiltrated his kisses earlier.

He's tired from coming, you can tell, but his love for you doesn't waver— it urges him forward, carries his hand down to the front of your pants, and offers the same relief you'd gifted him.

"Please, baby, I need your fingers in me," you whine into his mouth, helping him unbutton and loosen your pants.

"Anything you want," he responds in earnest, finally getting into a comfortable enough position to slip past your underwear and touch you where you want him the most.

He kisses you through a whine, gliding through your cunt with ease.

"Mmm that's what you do to me, Sunshine," you tell him, grinding into his hand. "You make me feel so good."

His middle finger is precise, circling your clit as you try not to fall over on him. Your pants hanging around your thighs make it hard to give him more than restrictive access, but as you told him before, it's all part of the experience.

It certainly adds to your desperation, your kisses becoming urgent and sloppy, and then he manages to slip a finger inside. The fullness isn't stimulating enough to get you off necessarily, but it's welcome and hot all the same. You help him out, softly lifting and dropping your hips to meet his rhythm, and then you reach down to frantically rub your clit.

"Fuck it," he finally breathes, pulling away from you and shifting his weight. "Can you lay down?"

The two of you shift and struggle to position yourselves more comfortably, another fit of laughter tangling between you as you attempt it. Eventually, Spencer is able to remove your shoes and slide your pants down over your ankles, and then he's throwing your leg over his shoulder and bending down.

Even though you have more room, the car suddenly feels cramped, sweat gathering on your body and your muscles cramping from contorting so oddly just minutes before. And now, with your boyfriend's mouth and fingers working in tandem to get you off, you're exerting yourself even more.

It doesn't take very long to approach your orgasm, the evening's built-up tension finally coming to a head.

It also helps that Spencer knows what he's doing— That had been another surprise at the start of your relationship. He was so shy and awkward and prone to bumbling when it came to dating you at first, that the first time you had sex with him, you weren't expecting to be so exhausted that you'd slept straight through three alarms.

His tongue flicks over your clit with rapid, even strokes, meanwhile his fingers accompany them with long and meticulous accuracy that makes for the perfect orgasm. It builds and builds, until your head thumps back and hits the hard plastic of the inside of the door. You laugh through it, your body shuddering under Spencer's care, and you can feel him laughing, too.

As you come down, your body relaxing, he helps you sit up. "Are you okay?"

You can help but giggle, taking his face in your hands and kissing him firmly. "Absolutely. It's all part of the backseat charm."

He considers this with a grin that makes you weak. With one simple smile you've fallen in love with your Sunshine boy all over again. "After all, they say nothing worthwhile comes easy..."

"Mmm..."

He helps you put your pants and shoes back on, then tucks himself back into his own pants and fixes his shirt. And in comfortable, loving silence that needs nothing to fill the gaps, the two of you make your way back to the front of the car, ready to journey home.

The moon sits higher in the sky, not as disguised by the trees, and you look up at it and think about what Spencer said, not pulling the car out of park just yet.

"I don't think it's true," you say, prompting him to tilt his head.

"What's that?"

"That nothing worthwhile comes easy. I don't think it's true at all. Do you know why?"

Again, he ponders, not with a grin but with thoughtful eyes and the pout he pulls when he's considering but coming up empty handed. He shakes his head. "Why?"

"Because I love you. It's the most worthwhile thing I've ever done, and it's not difficult in the slightest."

His brown eyes, impossibly big and always brimming with wonder, have started to also brim with tears. They don't fall—they only well and glimmer in the wake of your words, until he blinks and forces them out.

Your hand reaches for his and he squeezes.

"I love you, too. More than you will ever even begin to comprehend." His voice breaks and puts itself back together through each syllable, and in doing so, chips away any sort of belief that he may not truly be lovable. Day by day, moment by moment, you continue to prove to him just how bright and deserving and inherently good he is.

A direct reflection of the two of you suddenly embalms the car— his bright smile that radiates like sunbeams and the glow of moonlight through the windshield that reminds him of your opaline heart.

Spencer lifts your hand to his lips, and in that moment, you vow to yourself that for the rest of your life, you will do everything to keep the clouds away.

And silently, in the gentle press of his lips to the palm of your hand, he vows the very same.

[0097linersb]

𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 (m)

Pairings: Wooyoung x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word count: 15k ~

Warnings: It´s a smut so +18 MDNI pls

Follow me on twitter: wooyosgfreal <3

Part 2

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────

As someone who has been single for the past 2 years, you often found yourself missing certain things and feelings. It´s not even the dating in itself that you craved, you were in fact, very content with being alone, and after all your inner healing and growth, you didn´t even think you were ready for a relationship at this point in your life. But as you and Wooyoung were on your couch lazily spending the afternoon, you found your body and mind screaming for comfort at the sight of the rainy day outside. 

Your friend had his head on your lap as he played some online shooting game on his phone, the movie you intended on watching now only serving as background noise as you drifted off, hands absent-mindedly playing with the strands of his hair that fell on top of your thighs.  

Hand-holding. 

That´s something you really missed. The feeling of interlacing fingers with someone as warmness spread through your body. When you were dating, you weren´t even that into holding hands, uncomfortable with not being able to move freely or with the way your palm seemed to always feel clammy – But now? You would kill for a chance to walk around a park linked with someone.  

You also really missed being so familiar with someone that you just felt at ease, having a person there to do nothing or everything with, being able to talk or gossip about anything. You remember spamming Mingyu´s chat with every little thing that happened during your day and him just being genuinely happy to hear about it, replying to every single message in order. As your best friend, Wooyoung was someone you talked to a lot, but you still couldn´t text him about how you already drank 6 glasses of water or how you were annoyed because your stapler kept getting stuck – Those are the annoying little things you only get to share with a significant other that has the obligation to put up with you. 

And showering together. You almost felt dramatic tears fill your eyes at the thought of it; sharing the hot stream of water with someone, have them rub soap down your back or massage shampoo onto your scalp, or just simply holding someone in the dark under the running water as steam filled the room.  

Oh, and free massages. You definitely missed those, being able to ask for a massage at whatever given moment with the certainness that you would receive one. Mingyu´s love language had always been acts of service, meaning you wouldn´t spend a single day without his hands squeezing your shoulders or rubbing down your back.  

Maybe you should call Mingyu. Something along the lines of “hey, I know we broke up a few years ago but can you come like, hold me for a minute? Cuddle until we fall asleep?” 

You were so touch deprived you could cry. 

There was also the intimate part of a relationship; You had tried casual sex, one-night stands, friends with benefits, even a Tinder hook up once – It just wasn´t for you. It´s not even the sex on itself that you longed for, you could spend another few years without it if it came down to it. But you did miss what came with being intimate with someone who truly cared about you. When it comes to casual flings, people are normally selfish (yourself included), doing the bare minimum to get the other person off but truly aiming for their own pleasure; it was nice being with someone who´s main priority was making you feel good without the need of having the “favor returned”.  

What you really did miss though, was a bit cruder: You missed the feeling of someone´s dick in your mouth, the groans and whines that came with it, hands tangled in your hair, your tongue tracing hot veins as someone praised you. You missed having someone´s fingers inside of you, your walls tight around them as they pumped in and out of you with ease. You also really fucking missed someone eating you out. 

You subconsciously pulled a bit on Wooyoung´s hair out of frustration but he didn´t seem to notice, eyes fixated on his game. You gently pat his head where you had tugged on the strands and went back to playing with his hair, letting your mind take you away once again.  

Again, it´s not like your relationship with Mingyu ended badly, surely, he wouldn´t mind if you called him up to go down memory lane for a night- 

You had never noticed how plump Wooyoung´s lips were.  

He had a habit of pouting when he was focused, or biting on his lips when he was extra concentrated – which he was doing just now as he tried to shoot at someone who was trying to kill him. When he finally managed to take out the other player and escape, he let his bottom lip go, now all red and glistening as he cursed out loud. They just looked so soft and plushy, and the mole he had on his bottom lip –  

You suddenly realized you were kind of obsessed with Wooyoung´s nose shape. You know what people say about big noses… Also, how good would it feel bumping against - 

“You´re being way too nice. What´s going on?” Wooyoung´s voice suddenly interrupted your thoughts, causing you to jump in shock and realization that you were just thinking about your friend eating you out.  

“I am nice, just not to you,” You correct, meeting his eyes which were looking up as you noticed you were still running your fingers through his hair. 

“I have very strong opinions about that, but either way, it´s what I meant. Why are you being nice to me?” 

“Am I?” 

“I remember very clearly the last time I asked you to cuddle me, almost got down on my knees begging and you just looked at me like I had rolled around in the trash.”  

“You were quiet today, behaving like a normal person-” 

“Go on, call me a good boy. I know you want to,” He rolls his eyes. 

You laugh out loud at that; he did know you well. 

“Nah, you´ve ruined it the moment you opened your mouth.” 

“Guess I´m a bit further from perfect than I thought, getting there though. How was the movie anyways?” 

“Oh, did it end already?” You asked, finally looking at the TV and realizing the credits must have been rolling for a while. “Wasn´t paying attention.” 

“What were you even doing?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you, a second away from calling you stupid. 

“Thinking.” 

“About?” 

“Calling Mingyu,” You half-lied. 

At that, he managed to furrow his eyebrows even more, the biggest judgmental face he had ever sported looking up at you, “Why? Are you suddenly into him again?” 

“No.” 

“Then why?” 

“I don´t know, just-” 

“Oh my god,” His eyes widened, and he covered his mouth in shock. “It´s a booty call.” 

“It´s that what people call it these days?”  You ask, trying to sound nonchalant about the whole ordeal. 

“Oh my god, so it is.” 

“I guess?” 

“Y/N, it´s been like 2 years. I know you´re hot and he´s a man but I think that conversation would be kind of weird. Were you planning on texting him a wanna come smash?” He questioned you as he sat up. “Do you even have his number?” 

“No, I - I don´t know. I-  Let´s change the subject.” 

“Let´s absolutely not.” 

“You´re being annoying.” 

“Aren´t I always?” 

“Yes, defin-” 

“If you´re horny, why don´t you text that last guy you were going out with? He was hot too.” 

“Ew, don´t use the word horny.” 

“Would you prefer I call you needy?” 

Maybe you would, yeah, very much. 

“No, ew. Just stop talking all-together.” 

“So, why don´t you text him?” 

“You know I can´t really enjoy it much when I´m not like, close to the person.” 

“So you thought of your ex,” he deadpanned. 

“Yeah.” 

“Has literally not even one of the guys you hooked up with gotten you off?” 

“I mean, some of them did. But I don´t want to just get off, I-I- I don´t even know what I want, can we please chan-” 

“You want to be treated like the little pillow princess you are, got it.” 

Did he have to say it like that? Suddenly you felt the pulse between your legs raising its intensity. Oh god no, you were absolutely not getting turned on by Wooyoung´s crude choice of words. 

Anyone but Wooyoung! 

“Who says I´m a pillow princess? Am not!” 

“Ah, please. You scream I´ll bring nothing to the table besides looking pretty.” 

“Is that how I come off as?” You gasped at that, feeling deeply offended. “You´re full of shit.” 

“Why are you even getting mad? There´s nothing wrong with that, I´m sure you´re really good at looking pretty under a guy.” 

“Please stop picturing someone else fucking me?” 

“Who says I´m picturing someone else?” He winked at you teasingly. 

You literally, in your over 20 years of life on this earth, have never - not even once - thought you would actually choke over someone´s words. This was Wooyoung, you were used to his ways, c´mon! 

“Yeah, let´s not do that.” 

“Awn, pretty princess got flustered,” He cooed at you. 

You knew he was just teasing you; you knew there was no real sexual intent behind his words because that was Wooyoung, he flirted and teased as naturally as he breathed - but they still got your thighs tensing and you hating yourself for it. Couldn´t you just take a joke for what it was? 

“Although now that I´m thinking about it, I wouldn´t be surprised if you turned out to be a brat in bed. You´re already the biggest one normally.” 

“Look who´s calling me a brat,” You rolled your eyes once again. It didn´t matter if he was right or wrong, Wooyoung had no right calling anyone that when he was the way he was.  

At that, he presented you with the most attractive smile you think would ever exist in the world, a mixture between cunning, excitement and condescending, “You think I´m bratty?” 

“Oh, I´m sure of it.” 

“Maybe I´m just good at matching energies, you know?” He winked, teasing you further. 

“Fuck off. I know San forced you on your knees more often than I´d like to imagine.” 

“Because I allowed him to.” 

You snorted, “Yeah. Sure thing, honey. Now let´s move along, please.” 

Except that, your mind decided to in fact, consider his words. Wooyoung liked teasing and annoying people for his own entertainment, he whined at you every time he didn´t get things his way and he was always playfully flirting with everyone - and you meant literally everyone. Because of that, you had always just kind of assumed (but never spared it many thoughts, thank God) that your best friend was just someone who like to be dominated when in relationships, or sexual encounters for the matter.  

But honestly, you could kind of see it differently after his comments. It was true he always had everyone wrapped around his fingers and somehow, he always managed to get things his way - Wasn´t that also some form of control? The lines were kind of blurred when it came to Jung Wooyoung, but that was kind of even more attractive to you.   

“Oh my god, you´re thinking about it,” Wooyoung teased.  

“You´re the one who started it!” 

“You don´t have to stress your pretty little head over it,” He smiled, his finger finding it´s place under your chin to tip your face in his direction playfully. “I can show you.” 

Oh, absolutely not. 

Your eyes fluttered shut for a millisecond at his words, your guard crumbling surprisingly fast as you practically whimpered, “I know you´re joking but can we please not?” 

“Why?” 

 Couldn´t he stop giving you that annoying freaking smile? 

“Because I am kind of horny and I really don´t want to go there,” You practically growled.  

Now he was the one who broke character, not expecting you to be actually affected by his jokes, before the teasing smile was back on his face in a heartbeat - but you saw it. 

“Did I make you horny?” He teased. 

“Of course not, I was already horny before. I´m just in a weird mood.” 

It wasn´t necessarily a lie. If you weren´t already feeling some type of way since earlier, you would have never - and you really mean that - caught yourself thinking about Wooyoung´s stupid plump lips or if he could actually fuck you.  

“So, you were thinking about getting dicked down while I was here innocently lying down on your lap? You´re dirty,” He snickered. 

“It wasn´t weird until you made it weird,” You groaned in frustration. This is really not how you imagined your afternoon would go down.  

“Want me to help you out?” 

“Got any hot friends who are also not my friends?” 

“I do,” He nodded with his head. “But I´m also right here.” 

Your eyes almost flew out of your head. You always judged yourself as the only person immune to Wooyoung's weirdness, deeming that nothing the man did or say would ever surprise you since you basically were the same - but you now guessed the tests became harder as the years passed.  

“I can´t really tell if you´re joking-“ 

“I am absolutely not.” 

“Yeah, not going to happen.” 

“Why?” 

“Because!” 

“I know you can use your big girl words.” 

“Because as much as it pains me to admit it, we´re best friends. I guess?” 

“Now you´re the one who´s making it weird. You´re hot, I´m hot. You´re horny, now I´m horny. What´s wrong with helping each other out?” 

“What´s wrong is that I never really saw you like that!” You whined. 

“But you´re seeing now.” 

“Yeah, and I don´t like it!” 

“Tell me,” He raised an eyebrow at you, a devilish glint on his eyes matching his smile once again.  

“What?” 

“What you imagined me doing to you.” 

“Oh my god. Nothing!” 

“Oh c´mon, I won´t think you´re in love with me or anything. I know we´re friends and I´m a man, if there is one thing I can understand is simple plain old horniness.”  

“How is this so easy for you?” 

“Oh, I already imagined fucking you many times. In many different ways, too,” Wooyoung stated so casually, like he was talking about his shopping list for when he went to the supermarket later. “You know that one time at Seonghwa´s pool when you were wearing that little orange bikini? I must have made up at least 4 different scenarios, just that day.” 

“I feel kind of violated?”  

You also felt the way something throbbed in between your legs at his words but he didn´t need to know that. 

“As I said: I´m a man, Y/N. I love you and would never do anything to make you uncomfortable or fuck up our friendship, but there´s nothing wrong with fantasizing. It´s not like I actively decide to do it either, it just happens, I don´t know.” 

“Do you just casually think about fucking all your friends?” 

“No, only the hot ones. And it´s not something I keep thinking about all the time, I´m not a creep. Just once every blue moon hormone takes over or something. Also, you´re a fool if you think any of your other friends who are into women have never, not even once, thought about fucking you.”  

“Yeah, I´d rather be a fool,” You rolled your eyes. “Also, San hasn´t!” 

“San would quit his dream job in a heartbeat if I called him over for a threesome right now.” 

“Yunho then! He would never -” 

Wooyoung laughed at that, “Honey, I have something to tell you-“ 

“Please don´t.” 

“Anyways, you´re not lacking options to help you out. All I´m saying is that I´m here and I´d be more than glad to be the one,” He had the audacity of winking at you. “Since you were already thinking about it.” 

“I´m begging you to please drop it.” 

“Only if you tell me what you were thinking about.” 

“Oh my god! You know what? Let´s play your stupid fucking game, Jung Wooyoung. I´ll tell you if you tell me first.” 

“So, you do know how to have fun,” Wooyoung gave you a big smile, his eyes disappearing in happiness as if you had just told him you got him a new car. “What do you want to know?” 

“About the day at Seonghwa´s pool.” 

“Fun. I will use your own words then: I was in a weird mood that day and then you just took your clothes off and looked so good in that bikini. You were sunbathing and at some point in the afternoon you went inside Hwa´s house to get something from the kitchen and my brain just kept flashing images in my head: what if I followed you into the empty house, pushed you against the nearest wall and fucked you, watching as you tried to keep quiet so the others wouldn´t hear from right outside? Your cheek red from rubbing against the wall, your -” 

“That´s scenario number one.” 

“You want all of them? Kinky.” 

“I can just go-“ 

“Calm down, princess. See? I knew you were a brat.” 

“Wooyo-“ 

“Later when I was sitting down on the sunbathing chair with you while you were helping me out with the sunscreen, I noticed how my hand was so close I could pull the bottom of your bikini to the side and just slip my fingers in, right there in the open, no one would even notice. I wondered if you were already going to be wet and how you would sound trying to keep your noises inside with my knuckles deep into you. I couldn´t imagine a better sight than you all pretty clenching around my fingers or how you would look trying to casually spread your legs for me without anyone suspecting. I even went as far as imagining us getting caught, can you picture Mingi noticing what a little slut you are and trying to watch without getting caught himself? Poor boy wouldn´t know what to do with himself, would just loose his mind at how hot you´d look. I wondered if you´d like that he was watching –“ 

“That´s scenario number two,” You interrupted before the skin where you dug your nails into could start bleeding from your efforts to ground yourself and not squirm like an animal in heat at Wooyoung´s words. 

He was good, you had to give him that.  

Wooyoung laughed at you and you wondered if he had any clue about what he was doing to you. Then you mentally slapped yourself because of course he did, he had eyes.  

“When everyone went inside to make some drinks and start on dinner, you sat there on the edge of the pool and started kicking water at me. Remember that? I happened to notice the edge was just the perfect height for me to eat you out from the pool, and you even had your back to the door. We were all alone out there and even if someone came out, I would be hidden from their view in between your legs. I could picture my hands holding your thighs open and your back arching-” 

“Yeah, ok. That´s enough. I´m going to go, humm, shower or something and you can just like leave-” 

“Can I join?” He joked as you stood up. 

“No.” 

“Can I at least stay outside listening?” 

“What? I´m not going to mastu- Wooyoung, I´m just taking a cold shower.” 

“OK, go cool yourself off, princess. I´ll wait for you here,” He informed, unlocking his phone once again and showing you his screen where his game was loading. 

“Yeah, ok. Suit yourself.” 

“You really should let me listen as payback for getting me horny,” He screamed once you were already down the hallway. 

“You got yourself horny,” You screamed back before shutting the bathroom door behind yourself. 

You silently screamed against your hands as you let your body slide down the door. 

What the hell just happened? How many lines did you just cross?  

Why was Wooyoung suddenly so hot? 

And so, a cold shower you took and thankfully, after you left the bathroom, no one talked about the subject for the rest of the night and just pretended that nothing had happened. 

Except that now you were miserable and your mind echoed Wooyoung´s words every time you looked or thought about him. It was not optimal to be crossing your legs in the middle of class at university because you accidentally caught yourself staring at your friend´s veiny arms for half of the lecture. 

★  

“You´re still horny,” Wooyoung stated a few days later when you were literally getting ice cream after class. 

“And I´m actually mortified that you noticed.” 

“You´re being stubborn.” 

“We´re not fucking, Wooyoung.” 

“Dude, at this point I am genuinely feeling bad for you. We can ask Mingi or whoever, just please get some dick.” 

“You´re being kind of sexist-” 

“Y/N, you look constipated. I am worried for your sanity.” 

“Just shut up before I stop talking to you.” 

“I can use a blindfold or something if you´re worried about me seeing you naked-” 

“You´d like that, wouldn´t you? Submissive bitch.” 

“Don´t degrade me unless you mean it,” He winked at you. 

“You are actually insufferable.” 

“I´m just trying to help.” 

“You can´t because you don´t understand that this isn´t just about getting some dick!” 

“So what is this about? You tense every time my hands get near you -” 

“Wooyoung, this is an ice cream parlor. There are kids around, just shut the fuck up.” 

“So let´s go to my place.” 

“I´m not getting inside any closed spaces with you unless there are more people around.” 

“Kinky.” 

“Oh my god, you know what I mean.” 

“I know, just let me tease you. Ok, but seriously now, I think that in order for me to do my duties as a best friend, I need to understand what´s going on.” 

“Since when do you care about your best friend duties? You once left me behind alone at a party to get fucked by Yeonjun or whatever you two-” 

“Allegedly.” 

“No, Wooyoung. Not allegedly, it was literally me that you dragged to a corner to inform you´d be going upstairs with Yeonjun-” 

“No one knows what happened in that room.” 

“Yeah, thank god.” 

“Ok, whatever. Let me help you, tell me what´s going on inside that little messed up brain of yours.” 

“Nop. I really would rather lock myself inside the industrial freezer in the back.” 

“Yeah? Then I´m texting Mingi to go to your place and give you the fuck of your life tonight-” 

“Wooyoung!” 

“Y/N!” 

“Just drop it.” 

“No! Do you actually miss Mingyu? Or dating? Do you want a boyfriend? Is that it?” 

“No,” You groaned, hitting your forehead against the table.  

“So?” 

“Just- I need alcohol if we´re going to talk about this.” 

“Ok, let´s go to-” 

“Wooyoung, it´s 2 in the afternoon.” 

And so, he let it go for the moment, but the next time he saw a single drop of alcohol near you, he sat down next to you and crossed his hands like he meant business, a pointed look on his face. 

★ 

“So?” 

“This is literally my first shot.” 

“Then take it.” 

“Fine,” You begrudgingly complied, and you hadn´t even placed your glass back down before Wooyoung was already pouring you more. Figuring you weren´t going to escape this conversation, you downed your second shot and sighed in defeat. 

“Now tell me why you aren´t getting your back blown out at this very moment.” 

“It´s really weird talking about sex with you.” 

“We talk about sex all the time.” 

“Yeah, about other people, not about me, or about you suddenly being willing to fuck me- “ 

“Not suddenly.” 

“Yeah, whatever. Pour me some more.” 

“That´s what I like to hear,” He smirked at you, eyes glinting as he filled your glass up.  

“Y/N looks miserable,” Mingi suddenly stated, dropping his body next to you on the couch coming from seemingly nowhere.  

“Doesn´t she?” Wooyoung agreed, giving you a pointed look as you punched Mingi for the out-of-pocket comment. 

“Where did you even come from?” You asked the tall man next to you, excited for a change of topic. 

“The kitchen,” He absentmindedly answered you, hand busy filling up the glasses in front of you before handing you one. “Take a shot with me.” 

And so you did, hissing at the burning sensation and taking deep breaths to not gag at the taste of tequila. 

“OK, why does it look like your house burned down?” The man turned his attention back to you after smashing the empty glass on the little center table in front of you. 

Damn it, Mingi. 

You didn´t even have the time to begin forming any kind of excuses before Wooyoung  answered for you in a heartbeat, “Little Y/N over here is horny.” 

“Jung Wooyoung!” You gasped at his choice of words, thorn between hiding behind your hands, punching the man and apologizing to Mingi. 

Mingi, in turn, was frozen in shock mid pouring himself another shot. And you meant that the man wasn´t even blinking, mouth open and hands stuck in the air holding the glass bottle which you took from him afraid he would break it. 

“See what you´ve done?” You sighed to Wooyoung, elbowing his ribs as you tried waving your hand in front of Mingi´s face for a reaction.  

“Wait, what?” Said man came back to life, his voice way higher than what you´re used to. 

“You heard it, man. She hasn´t been fucked right in ages-” 

“Wooyoung, you know what you said about wanting to keep up with your best friend´s duties?” You asked between gritted teeth, about ready to jump the man and rip all of his hair out. “This is really not it.” 

“But you´re hot!” Mingi seemed confused. 

“I told her that!” Wooyoung ignored you. “I even told her you´d volunteer to help her out-” 

“I so would-” 

“Shut the fuck up, you two! Wooyoung, I´m about a second away from blocking you on my phone and never seeing you again,” You were also as close to ripping your own hair out. “Yes I´m horny, the whole world doesn´t need to hear about it.”  

Mingi noticed the crazy look behind your eyes and rubbed your back in comfort, he too knew what Wooyoung could do to people when he decided to be annoying.  

“It´s ok, love. We´ve all been there,” Mingi assured you and his words did soothe you a bit.  

“It´s just – You guys don´t get it. It´s not about just sex. I know I could literally fuck anyone at this party if I wanted to, I´m not dense. I guess I just miss dating but I don´t really want to date anyone at the moment?” 

“So like a friends with benefits thing?” Wooyoung pressed. 

“No, that´s just fucking with a fancy title. I mean like, I miss being touched and hugged and pampered and – I don´t know.” 

“Every time I try to hug you, you freeze and glare at me!” Mingi pouted. 

“I´m just not a touchy person!” 

“I know! That´s why I´m not understanding what you want.” 

“Just forget it-” 

“I get it,” Wooyoung interrupted.  

“Do you?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“You want a boyfriend without the obligations and feelings involved with a relationship. I was right, you´re needy.” 

“Oh,” Apparently it made sense to Mingi too. 

“Ok, and with that, I excuse myself,” You say, already standing up to go find someone else to hang out with because you were definitely not ready for the rest of that conversation. 

★ 

“What are you doing here?” You asked in annoyance after opening the door to your place to a very content looking Wooyoung. 

"I came to be your boyfriend-not-boyfriend,” He smiled proudly. 

"We're not fucking, Wooyoung,” You managed to sigh and roll your eyes at the same time. "Which is exactly what I told you the other 50 times you suggested it." 

"Who said anything about fucking? I'm just here to force the touch-deprivation out of you. Now move, I brought snacks," He said as if he hadn't already pushed you out of the way about midway through his sentence.   

You sighed in defeat, accepting your peaceful quiet night was ruined - You hadn't even locked the door yet and Wooyoung was already sprawled on your couch organizing the snacks on your coffee table, making way more noise than necessary.  

"At least you brought my favorite," You noticed, arms crossed as you stood up next to the couch.  

"These are all your favorites," His eyes were even shining with the amount of pride he had for himself. 

"Says who?" 

"Says me." 

"You called Seonghwa, didn't you?" 

"Only about the chips." 

"Knew it." 

"It's not my fault you literally change your opinions every day." 

"Welcome to girlhood." 

"Now sit down and I'll put something on Netflix." 

"Wooyoung, why-" 

"Y/N, listen," It was his turn to sigh. "You helped me through a lot when everything happened with my grandpa and you were always there for me when shit went down, just let me help you this once however I can." 

"Ok, got it. Enough with the sentimental talk," You quickly obeyed. You didn't like serious Wooyoung.  

"Now, are we feeling Criminal Minds?" He asked once you were sitting next to him, remote in hand. 

"Sounds great." 

“Perfect,” Wooyoung agreed as he put on the show, quickly standing up to turn off the lights before sitting back down and opening his arms. “Come here.” 

“Uh, I would rather not.” 

“I don´t care, we´re doing this.” 

���I don´t think forcing me to cuddle you will help much-” 

“Do you want me to really force you? Because I can,” He raised his eyebrow at you, arms still hanging in the air. 

“I´m pretty sure I´m stronger than you-” 

“Oh my god, just shut up,” He groaned and rolled his eyes at the same time, bending his body forward so he could grab onto your waist and pull you against his chest.  

Ok, yeah. He was definitely stronger than you. 

“Can you not make it so difficult?” He asked once he noticed how stiff you were in between his legs. “Stretch your legs, relax.” 

You decided against reminding him that he was in fact forcing you to do this and obeyed, he was just trying to help after all and maybe he did have a point: Some human touch might help calm your mind down. Also, the quicker you played along, the sooner it would be over.  So, stretching your legs across the couch you did, letting your body relax against Wooyoung´s, who contently wrapped his arms around you as you both turned your attention towards the Tv.  

Well, that lasted for about 10 minutes before you started feeling the heat of your friend´s skin radiating and everything started making sense: Being held by someone you loved really was comforting. Huh, who would have guessed? 

You generally hated being touched by people but right now you kind of felt like a cat, wanting to rub your head on Wooyoung´s shirt and snuggle into his warmth.  

“Can I play with your hair or will you bite my hand of?”  

“You can try,” You answered, not wanting to admit he was right all along and that you would very much like more of whatever this was.  

You could practically feel the roll of his eyes at your threatening tone as he pulled your head like you were just one big barbie doll, so your right cheek would be rested against his chest, turning your body to the side so now your right shoulder kind of met his chest instead of your back.  

“Ouch, you could be gentler,” You complained, rubbing your forehead skin where his palm was planted seconds before.  

“When you deserve it,” He grunted, eyes fixed on the Tv.  

“That was not very let me help you of you.” 

It was easy to tell he bit back his comeback, simply taking a deep calming breath and burying his fingers in the hair behind your neck, gently rubbing the area – Maybe you would purr. Judging you now had the upper hand, you decided to in return wrap your own arms around his wait so you could get comfortable and Wooyoung  gave you a cocky victory smile. 

Damn it. 

The two of you went through the entire episode like that and you were so relaxed that when Wooyoung stood up to open the snacks and grab some wine, you didn´t even complain about how that was a bad idea, sharing some glasses while you watched the second and third episodes and he tossed you around into every cuddling position you never even knew existed, discussing who you though were the killers and all the little gossips of the week. 

“You could create like a cuddling Kama Sutra,” You joked, kind of dizzy because of the drink – or because you had an incredibly attractive man holding you for the past 2 hours or so.  

“Will you quit complaining about my touchy personality now?” He smiled. 

“Nah, this was a one-time thing.” 

“Are you at least feeling a bit better?” Wooyoung asked, adjusting himself on the couch to look at you since you were now sitting side to side after the last episode ended.  

“Yes, actually.” 

It was true, you were no longer feeling like you could rip your entire skin off if you went through another second of someone not touching you.  

“I have one last move prepared,” He informed excitedly. 

“We´re not fucki-” 

“Oh my god, will you quit it with the fucking thing? If you keep bringing It up I might start thinking you´re interested-” 

“What was the idea?” You quickly asked, trying to cut the flirting off before it could lead your brain somewhere you spent the entire night not wanting to go.  

“Let me give you a massage.” 

“Wow, you´re really invested in this helping me thing.”  

“Contrary to your big mouth, I am a good friend. Sit down right here,” Wooyoung ordered, opening his legs and pointing to the space on the floor in between his feet. “Tonight I´ll take the neediness out of you the best I can since you refuse to go out and get some dick.” 

You rolled your eyes and ignored his remark, sitting down where he showed you and waiting silently as he gently gathered your hair and moved it out of the way. You cursed at how your skin erupted in goosebumps as his fingertips brushed against the side of your neck, your breath suddenly caught in your chest. 

You followed the realization that this was probably a horrible idea with another glass of wine, thankful he couldn't feel your heart beating fast.  

Wooyoung worked his thumbs in circles, digging them between your scapulae and pressing them up until they reached your shoulders, which he squeezed in the perfect strength to get shivers running up your spine every minute as he repeated the motion over and over.  

“How are you so good at this?” You whined, hating how your body was reaction to the touches. 

“There´s really nothing I´m not good at.” 

“Humbleness,” You offered. 

“That was a cliché answer, you can do better than that.” 

“I don´t care, just please never stop.” 

“I get that a lot.” 

“Do you really need to make everything sexual?” 

“I´ve always been that way, it´s not my fault that now that you´re horny it´s bothering you.” 

You hated when he put it like that, because yes. 

And maybe the way he sometimes would squeeze your neck during the massage or just the fact that he was touching you, were getting you feeling some type of way you would rather he did not notice.  

“If you were a girl, you´d understand,” You groaned. “Ovulation sucks.” 

“You actually just gave yourself the perfect solution, why don´t you fuck a girl?” 

´Cause what I really want is fucking you. 

Oh, wow.  

Where did that come from? 

“Speaking of which, do you even know how to?” You ask, admittedly kind of shy of asking such question.  

“Know how to what?” 

“Like, have- you like- With women?” You try, motioning widely towards the couch with your hands as if it would help you get your point across so you wouldn´t have to say the words. 

Wooyoung seemed to get it though, hands suddenly stopping on your back so you would look at him, “Y/N, you do know I have fucked women, right?” 

“How would I? You never told me!” You whine. 

“I thought it would be disrespectful?” 

“But when you told me how much you loved choking on San´s dick it wasn´t?” 

“Well, no-” 

“Or when you literally shared about how you thought about your fingers inside of me?” 

“You asked for it!” 

“I don´t believe you,” You narrowed your eyes towards him. “There´s no way I wouldn´t have known.” 

“Do you want like a list or something?” 

“What? No! That would be disrespectful.” 

“See?” 

“Ok, no, wait. Just tell me this: Lauren?” 

“Yes.” 

“Wooyoung, nooooo!” You whined. 

“What? She´s hot!” He was exasperated. 

“Oh my god, everything makes so much sense now.” 

“Wait, did you really think I was gay? We´ve know each other for years! I talk about women all the time!” 

“Yeah, but I thought you talked about women like Kevin talks about Beyoncé! Like in a slayy pussy  queennn way, not in a I´d want to fuck her way.”  

“Would you like me to go around harassing women?” 

“No, listen: I didn´t think you were gay, I just kind of never thought about it?” 

"You though I was just joking around with you the other day and you still got all hot and bothered?" Would he quit teasing you? "Kinky." 

“I thought you were playing and I didn't get any way!" 

“Whatever you say, princess - Wait, why did you think Ali was always hanging around my neck all these months?” 

“I just thought she was kind of crazy – Wait, did you fuck her that good? She wouldn´t leave us alone for a second, it was driving me insane." 

“I just told you there´s nothing I´m not good at,” He winked at you with a cocky smile on his face. 

You wanted to die.  

“Wooyoung,” You warned. 

“Awn, am I getting to you?” His tone was so sarcastic and condescending that a fire burned inside of you that you were afraid was never going out.  

“It´s the wine,” You assured, more yourself than him. 

“It´s always something.” 

“See? That´s why I told you I didn´t want to be alone with you.” 

“Afraid you´ll jump me?” He mocked. “I´m not scared.” 

"Just shut up. If whatever you're saying is true, I just want you to know you have the worst taste in women ever." 

"Well, considering I would love to taste you more than I would anyone else, I agree," He played with your words.  

“Go wash the glasses,” You ordered, the skin under your cheeks burning.  

“Yes, ma’am,” He answered with a laugh, immediately standing up and following along.  

When you were alone in the living room, your face fell between your hands in despair. 

You fucking hated Jung Wooyoung and his fucking giant noise. 

★  

Stupid fucking Jung Wooyoung.  

Fucking hell.  

Cursed be the day that man was born and cursed be the hospital and the doctors and the nurses and everyone in the world for all you cared. 

Your entire body was filled with rage as you opened the stupid coffee maker to pour the water into the compartment – which you had of course forgotten to fill 10 minutes earlier and almost burnt the whole office down. How would you explain to your boss that you started a fire because your brain was simply too busy flashing images of you sitting on your stupid annoying best friend´s face for the past 4 hours? 

It has been 2 days since the day at your place, 2 nights since you've gotten a decent night of sleep. "Why is that?" One would ask. Well, the answer would be that your useless brain decided to sabotage you, having you dream about your best friend over and over again – Which wouldn't be so bad if 90% of the dreams didn't consist of you ridding said best friend's face, waking up sweating and wanting to scream. 

At this point you just wanted to break Wooyoung's nose with a punch, so you'd never have to think about it again. After almost ripping your hair out in front of your computer, you decided on texting Hoshi for Mingyu's number - That's how desperate you were to get stupid fucking Jung Wooyoung out of your head. At least your friend assured that your ex was indeed single now and still didn't hate you, which was enough for you.  

Not really knowing how to tell your ex-boyfriend, after so much time has passed, that you just wanted him to throw you around, things weren't going as fast as planned and you couldn't keep avoiding Wooyoung forever – One, because he has no sense of boundaries and would just show up at your place if you ignored him and two, you really didn't want to have the conversation that would go down when he found out why you weren't around.  

It'd been over a week since you last saw Wooyoung in person, you were still in the talking stages with Mingyu, dreaming about your friend every fucking night and staring at his picture on the chatting app for hours while wanting to die. Now, you kind of genuinely didn't care anymore, Mingi and Wooyoung were right, maybe this was just about getting some dick – and you would find out if one could die of horniness if you didn't get some soon.  

It was Saturday night, Hongjoong decided to throw a small party at his place to celebrate his birthday and you figured alcohol was a good solution since stabbing a knife into your brain wasn't an option. You even invited Mingyu, hoping in person and after a few drinks you'd figure how to ask him to bend you over – The man said he would be pretty late because of previous scheduled commitments but that he would go. Your ex was an incredibly attractive man who knew his way around a lady, maybe you would see all your problems flying away after tonight. 

Except that after your first cup and some chatting with Mingi and Seonghwa on Hongjoong's couch, Wooyoung decided to arrive.  

You took one (1) - ONE, UNO - look at the man and grabbed your phone, shooting Mingyu a text: don´t come, party´s canceled. 

“Bro, your hair looks sick!” Mingi shouted before your brain could even begin to process what you were seeing. 

You were the one actually about to be sick. 

“Decided to try something new,” Wooyoung smirked, jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to you. 

You simply stared at him dumbfounded, glad he was too busy stealing the drink from your hands to notice your mouth wide open.  

Jung Wooyoung just showed up to the party with the bottom part and the front strands of his hair dyed blonde and you weren´t sure what kind of look that even was but you felt like it genuinely changed your whole life. You were pretty sure you got goosebumps when you first looked at him, lucky you were sitting down with the way your legs got weak. 

“What do you think about it?” He asked you after he was content with finishing what was left in your cup. 

“I hate it.” 

Well, you weren´t lying. Your nails were literally digging into the palm of your hands to try and get your head back in place - The new look made his skin look tanner, the mole under his eye darker, the shape of his nose - 

 The way he pushed his hair back, blonde strands surrounding his face - 

No, nop. 

No. 

“Since I know you´re joking, I´m gonna go say hi to Hongjoong and grab us more drinks so we can get this party started.” 

You let him go with absolutely no fight, eyes wide and glued to his form until he was out of your sight as Seonghwa led him to where the birthday boy was supposed to be. 

“Are you ok?” Mingi asked, noticing the crazy look on your face. 

“I need Wooyoung to fuck me.” 

Your brain definitely was short-circuiting. 

“Oh. Wow. Ok.” 

“I´m being serious. And I´m not happy about it.” 

“Hasn´t he been offering for like weeks now?” 

“Yeah.” 

“So just go and tell him.” 

“That´s not how it works.” 

“Oh my god, why do you have to be so complicated?” 

“I need him to offer again so I can say no, then when he insists, I will give in and pretend I´m kind of thorn about it.” 

“And why is that?” 

“So he doesn´t know he won! And I don´t like being vulnerable or whatever.” 

“I know we said you need some dick, but maybe you just need some therapy.” 

“Yeah, that too, but what I really need right now is your help.” 

“Sure,” Mingi shrugged. That´s what you liked about him, things were simple with him. 

“I need him to think I´m horny.” 

“You are horny.” 

“Yeah, but I need him to see it so he will joke about helping me out again.” 

“And how are you going to do that?” 

“Well, I could stand here with a bitch face all night, but it´s Joong´s birthday so I don´t really want to be like that. I don´t really have any other ideas-” 

“Touch me.” 

“What?” 

“Like, be touchy with me.” 

“Oh, that could work.” 

“That will definitely work.” 

“You´re good,” You complimented. 

“You should come to me for help more often.” 

“Don´t push it.” 

“Fine.” 

“You´re invested, huh?” 

“Move closer,” He ordered and you obeyed, sitting sideways on the couch so you were turned towards him, left knee touching his thigh. “Lean forward and put your hand on my thigh.” 

Despite your body´s discontent, you did as told. 

“And don´t flinch when I touch you,” He warned.  

“I feel like a spy,” You joked. 

“All this because you can´t tell a guy you want to fuck,” He rolled his eyes. 

“C´mon, pretend you´re not enjoying this, I dare you.” 

“Touché.” 

When your friends came back with more people tagging along, the first thing you noticed was the way Wooyoung´s gaze traveled immediately to your hand on Mingi´s thighs.  

Ok, yeah, this could definitely work. 

“Here, princess,” He handed you your drink, which you grabbed with your free hand.  

“Thanks Wooyo,” You smiled at the man before turning your attention back to Mingi, not missing the way your friend squeezed his eyes at you.  

Thankfully, Wooyoung didn´t say anything about it, sitting down on the floor in front of the couch as a circle naturally formed in the living room so everyone could play something, and the first choice was the 007 game. You went along with the plan, hitting Mingi´s thigh instead of your own, touching his arm when you had to laugh, not going stiff when his hand met the skin almost at the hem of your skirt. 

You know what? Mingi was actually really hot too, if this night didn´t end how you expected it to, you were so horny you were just about considering asking him to fuck you.  

Whenever you looked in Wooyoung´s direction, you could practically see the engines turning in his head. It was just a matter of time now and you were already feeling shaky with excitement, which you weren´t exactly thrilled about – But then you looked at him again with that stupid hair and that stupid nose and that stupid half-unbuttoned shirt and decided that to hell with your morals and ethics. 

Mingi apparently decided his role in the ploy wasn´t enough for him, since after an hour or so passed by and people started standing up to go after more drinks or socialize with other people, he waited for Wooyoung to approach before asking loud and clear, “So, any luck with the getting some dick thing?” 

You were not exactly a good actress but you did know how to flirt, so not really knowing how else to react to the sudden improvisation, you smiled at him, “Why? Know someone interested?” 

“Yeah, nice to meet you. I´m Song Mingi,” He half-joked, hand still heavy on your thigh. “Oh, Wooyoung. You´re here, didn´t see you there.” 

He was good, you had to give him that. 

“I can see why,” Wooyoung answered, eyes pointing at the contact between you two.  

“Jealous?” Mingi asked his friend, his tone was humorous, but you could see the challenge in his eyes. Even though he was just playing, he couldn´t help being an egotistical Leo. 

“I wouldn´t say jealous is the right word.” 

“Did you know Y/N invited Mingyu over?” Mingi laughed. 

Wooyoung raised an eyebrow at you, eyes dancing with amusement.  

“I already uninvited him, asshole.” 

“Is that why you´re all touchy today?”  Mingi asked. Ok, you would have to buy him some ice cream after the phenomenal performance he was delivering. “Thought you would convince her to fuck someone, Woo.” 

“Believe me, I tried,” He shrugged. 

“Can we quit talking about me like I´m not here? Also, I´m not an animal in heat, stop being weird.” 

Well, weren´t you?  

Really? 

“You sure seem like it,” Wooyoung completed. 

“You look hornier than me, Wooyoung.” 

“I´m not denying it,” He stated matter-of-factly. 

“Oh shit, I forgot my phone with Yunho,” Mingi cursed, suddenly petting his pockets. He was so convincing you almost forgot he was helping you out. “Shit, shit, shit. I´ll be back later.” 

With that he stood up and quickly marched out of the living room, Wooyoung lazily taking his place next to you on the couch. 

“Were you really about to let Mingi fuck you?” 

“Maybe?” You answer, and well, that wasn´t a lie either. 

“Ouch, that kind of hurts my ego.” 

“Mingi and I are just friends, now you and I are best friends. There´s a huge difference there.” 

“So, you´re saying you´d fuck me if we weren´t best friends?” He joked. “Wow, thank you. I´m shy now. No need for all these compliments.” 

You rolled your eyes, not sure what to say that would lead you towards what you wanted, choosing to just be normal and hope the night would eventually get you there. 

“Why did you cancel on Mingyu?” 

“Didn´t think he would throw me around today.” 

“Someone´s getting bold.” 

“Shut up.” 

“I actually like frustrated Y/N, it´s hot.” 

“Then stop bothering me to fuck someone and let me be frustrated in peace.” 

“Well, that seems nice but I´m sure you´d look much hotter getting the frustration out.” 

“Are we back to the “you imagining someone fucking me” thing?” 

“I could correct you once again saying that I´m not imagining someone else, but since you´ve made it pretty clear that you´re not interested, I´m not going to.” 

That was it, that was your moment. 

“And what if I tell you maybe I am?” 

He stopped to give you a knowing cocky smirk that made you immediately regret raising the white flag, “I know.” 

“What? Ho- No -” 

“Y/N, you wouldn´t stop staring at me like you wanted me to destroy you in front of everyone while Mingi literally had his hand on you.” 

“That´s not -” 

“Do I have to pretend I think you were squirming because of him and not me? I can play dumb if you´d like. I can even go call him back if you tell me you weren´t wishing it was my hand almost getting under your skirt instead of his. So, are you going to give in now or are we going to keep playing this game?” 

“Wooyoung-” 

“We´re best friends, I know. But I don´t see how you avoiding me because you get wet every time I´m around is doing our friendship any favors either.” 

Ok, he did make a pretty good case even though you were already convinced like an hour ago. 

“You´re right.” 

“I know.” 

“So?” 

“I´m not fucking you at Hongjoong´s.” 

You stared at him, completely dumbfounded – also not liking how the tables have turned one bit. Wooyoung in turn laughed and sent you another playful wink, “Trust me, you won´t want anyone around.” 

“It took a lot from me to come to terms with this, so we´re either doing it tonight or we´re not doing it.” 

“Oh, princess,” He gave you a condescending look that got you wanting to rip his hair out. “I find that hard to believe, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.” 

“Wooyoung-” 

“Y/n,” His voice was calm, hand finding its place on your thigh where Mingi´s was earlier, except this time the touch burned and got you fighting for your life not to squirm. “I said I´m not fucking you at Hongjoong´s, not that I´m not fucking you.” 

“Then let´s go.” 

“Now, that would be rude, wouldn´t it?” 

“Why are being like this?” You whined, about a second away from actually hitting the cockiness out of him.  

“You have this needy look in your eyes, like you´re ready to drop down and beg at any moment,” He smiled, his free hand gently tucking your hair behind your ear like he wasn´t talking about you on your knees. “It´s cute.” 

“You know what will be cute? When I ask Mingi to fuck me instead.” 

“If you can go to Hongjoong, in front of everyone, and tell him that we need to leave his birthday party right now because you can´t wait for me to fuck you, I´m good to go.” 

“Have you always been this annoying?” 

“Only when I know you´ll like it.” 

“You know you were the one asking to fuck me for weeks, right?” 

“I know.” 

“You just know everything, don´t you?” 

“See? You´re hot when you´re frustrated.” 

“You think I´m sexually frustrated but now I´m actually just mad at you.” He simply smiled at you in return, and you rolled your eyes once you realized where you had dug your grave, “I forgot you have a degradation kink or whatever. Can´t even be angry at you in peace anymore.” 

“If you´re really mad at me, we should fix that. I wouldn´t want my best friend to be angry at me.” 

“I don´t think it´s possible to fix it considering being annoying it´s like your whole personality. Point proven.” 

“Come say that closer,” He winked playfully, and you seriously would cringe at the number of times that man has winked at you if he wasn´t Wooyoung.  

Ok, coming completely clean: You were also kind of annoyed at the way you were definitely getting wet at the banter between the two of you, like teasing each other wasn´t what your whole friendship has been about for years. 

It also helped that Wooyoung´s hand was still on your thigh, veins sticking out and fingers filled with rings that you just couldn´t stop picturing against the skin on your neck.  

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 

It took a second to decide if you would actually listen to that one braincell fighting for its life inside your head or not, but in the end, you decided against it, quickly standing up so you could sit on Wooyoung´s lap and take him by surprise as you straddled his thighs, one of your knees on each side of legs.  

Yeah, there was definitely something pulsing in between your legs. Fucking hell. 

You moved too quicky for Wooyoung to process what was going on, so it really was amusing the way he violently jerked once you moved your head closer, lips almost brushing his ears as you whispered, “What do you want me to say?” 

For a second you had almost forgotten it was Jung Wooyoung under you, but he was fast to remind you as one of his hands found its place on the side of your thigh and the other grabbed onto your waist, where his thumb brushed gentle circles against your exposed skin. He took advantage of the fact you were already bent down to say against your ear this time, “You never told me.” 

“What?” You asked, creating some distance between you so you could look at the smirk on his face and because you didn´t quite like the way you got weak when you felt his breath against your skin so closely. 

“The other day, we made a deal. You said you would tell me what you imagined me doing to you if I told you first, but you ran away after I completed my part. You owe me.” 

Under regular circumstances you would have stood up and left right then and there, but the way his palms met the front part of your thighs and started rubbing them up and down, a bit higher each time, got you wanting to play his game to see where it would end. 

“You´re right. That day was the first time I ever thought about you sexually, and you know what triggered it?” 

“What?” He smiled at the way goosebumps erupted all over your skin under his touches. 

“Your nose.” 

“So you like my nose?” 

“And your lips, but mostly your nose.” 

"And what about my lips and nose?" 

"Was just thinking about how good they'd feel under me," You look into his eyes, centimeters away from yours, thankful that Hongjoong had deemed the lights at some point of the night and now Wooyoung's face was illuminated only by a pink hue, coming from a fake sunset light your friend had bought on AliExpress. 

"That's good, ‘cause I've never wanted someone to sit on my face so bad before." 

“Careful,” You warned, inching your face closer to his, toying with the buttons on his shirt as your lips were almost brushing. “We still need to go back to being friends after we fuck and get this off our systems.” 

"I’m sure we can manage," He smiled, inching closer himself so now your lips were indeed touching as he continued speaking. "I'm a good friend after all." 

"Kiss me then, I dare you," You breathed out, shooting your last shot. 

He laughed at that, "You know I never back down from a challenge." 

But well, it worked. 

Wooyoung made his words true, grabbing onto your waist with a firmness that you didn't know he had to pull you closer. With your chests now glued, his lips finally pressed against yours and you hated yourself for not being disappointed. You so wanted the man to be all bark and no bite, but the moment his tongue met yours you understood why that girl wouldn't leave him alone. You had indeed kissed many people before, but it had never felt like this - and also, you were right, his plush lips were definitely something to obsess over. 

What didn't surprise you at all, was that like in everything else, Wooyoung was a tease. In some moments when you would deepen the kiss, he would pull back a bit and bite on your bottom lip just to laugh when you groaned in annoyance. When he felt you were getting frustrated at his little games, he would grab onto your hips and grind them against his – which well, definitely got your mind to stop thinking about how insufferable he was. Good thing you knew how to play too, hands finding the roots of his hair to pull harshly on it, almost passing out at the whine he let out.  

"I love that you're wearing a skirt," He groaned out. 

"Why is that?" You were so breathless you almost got embarrassed. 

"I can feel how wet you are." 

Fuck. 

"You must be imagining things." 

"Oh, am I?" The cunning smile he gave you along with those words should have prepared you. 

It really shouldn't have surprised you when one of his hands left your ass and snaked its way in between your bodies. You leaned back a little to try and understand what was happening, giving Wooyoung all the access he needed to get his hand under your skirt and press the pad of his middle finger right on your clit over your panties. 

"Told ya," He smirked in content at the way you gasped involuntarily.  

"Wooyoung-" 

"What? Weren't you the one who couldn't wait?" He teased, rubbing slow circles with his finger. "If you're already soaked like this, I can't even imagine what it would be like if I just pushed your panties to the side-" 

"No-" You whined, thorn between just letting him do whatever he wanted or stopping him - since you were very much in the middle of your friend's living room and there were people around. 

"Getting shy now?"  

“Wooyoung.” 

“That´s my name,” You could see in his eyes how much fun he was having teasing you. 

“You want me to stop teasing or stop touching you?” He mocked with a smile on his face, finger still working on you as you fought with all your life to not squirm on his lap. 

“You know what? If you want everyone to see, I can put on a show,” You sighed, accepting defeat. 

You expected Wooyoung to smirk once again but was instead surprised when he stopped and retreated his hand, adjusting your skirt back in place. Your heart dropped at the sight, searching for answers in his eyes, but they were busy looking somewhere else: Mingi had gotten back. You could see the way the tall man was frozen at the entrance, eyes wide and hand once again stuck in the air – this time holding his phone proudly. 

You sent a glare at the intruder (as if there were not at least 10 other people in the room). The moment Mingi´s eyes caught yours, he jumped as if he had just woken up from a nap and he tried mouthing something like “sorry” and “oh shit” so you just rolled your eyes and motioned with your hand for him to move along, preferably far away. He seemed to get the message, almost tripping with how fast he spun on his heels and left.  

“What? Weren´t you the one who wanted everyone to know?” You asked Wooyoung, tone pointy as you climbed off his lap. It was like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over you. THIS WAS JUNG WOOYOUNG. 

YOUR BEST FRIEND JUNG WOOYOUNG. 

THE GUY WHO MADE YOU DRESS LIKE A CHEERLEADER TO GO TO HIS COLLEGE SOCCER GAMES AND CHEER FOR HIM, THE GUY WHO BURPED AND LAUGHED AT HIS OWN DISGUSTINESS, THE GUY WHO DID A CRISTIANO RONALDO IMPRESSION EVERYTIME HE WON SOMETHING, THE GUY YOU HAD TO ONCE RESCUE FROM A PIG FARM AFTER DRINKING WAY TOO MUCH! 

“Yeah, but I guess my protective best friend side spoke louder,” He sighed too, fixing his pants. “Don´t be mad.” 

“I´m not mad.” 

“Yes, you are.” 

“Yes, I´m mad. Ok? Cause now the magic is over or whatever and I realized you´re my best friend and we can´t fuck.” 

He turned around on the couch to be able to look into your eyes, his searching. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so he simply closed his eyes, sighed once again and stood up, offering his hand, “C´mon. Let me take you home.” 

★

“So, Mingyu huh?” Wooyoung asked, one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear.  

“Don´t do that.” 

“Do what?” 

“Ask about another man and pretend everything´s normal.” 

“Well, I guessed that now that we can´t fuck we can go back to being normal best friends.” 

You locked your jaw and crossed your arms. You were angry and you didn´t even know what for – But you expected Wooyoung to fix it, nonetheless. 

“Use your words.” 

“No.” 

“Ok, then. Silent ride it is.” 

You huffed; aware you were acting like a spoiled child, but you were just angry at the mess inside your head and that your friend was not able to read your mind and untangle everything so it made sense. Maybe you really were just spoiled and angry you didn´t get what you wanted when you wanted. 

“Oh. I get it now.” 

“What?” Wooyoung asked, eyes moving from the road for a second to look at you. 

“When you call me a brat. I get it now.” 

“I was searching my brain for plausible reasons for you to be all sulky, for you to admit you were mad just because I didn´t fuck you at the party?” 

“Yeah? Not just that, but you know I don´t like when things don´t go my way, I just wanted everything to happen fast so I wouldn´t have time to think about it but then when I thought about it, I felt bad because I still wanted it to happen but I know it shouldn´t.” 

“Y/N, it´s sex.” 

“Don´t make me sound stupid.” 

“I´m not, you´re just really overthinking this.” 

“Yeah, that´s the whole point. And it´s all your fault, so you see why I´m mad now?” 

“Yes. I´m the worst.” 

“You are.” 

“Not when I fuck you, thought.” 

“The moment has passed, Wooyoung. The train has left the station. Deal with it.” 

“If you say so. Are you opening the garage, or should I park outside?” 

“I didn´t bring the tag – Wait, are you going up?” 

“Street it is then.” 

“Answer me, stupid.” 

“Yes, I´m going up.” 

“What for?” 

“You said it yourself, if we´re best friends and nothing more is ever happening, there should be no problem with me sleeping over, right? We´ve done it thousands of times.” 

“Yeah,” You squeezed your eyes at him. You knew what game he was playing, trying to prove you wrong – But you were also convinced you were more stubborn than him and that you would instead prove him wrong. 

“Slumber party, fun!” He exclaimed, taking the key out and tapping your thigh before leaving his car.

 ★

“Since this was kind of last minute,” You heard Wooyoung´s voice approaching your room, “I didn´t really bring any clothes.” 

And there he was, next to your bed in nothing but a towel around his hips, long messy hair slightly dripping down his torso and toothbrush in his mouth, looking all casual like you both knew he wasn´t doing this on purpose.  

The fact that it was working only made you even more annoyed. 

“You know where the drawer with your stuff is,” You groaned, pretending to look at your nails. 

He looked way too smug as he turned to your closet, opening said drawer to pull out some sweatpants. You kind of expected (or is it hoped the right word?) that he would just unknot the towel and expose himself to try and seduce you, but he behaved and simply pulled the pants under the fabric before unwrapping it.  

“Have you not heard about underwear?” 

“Have you not heard that it´s healthier to sleep without it? You should hang out with me more, I can teach you a lot.” 

“Yeah, I already see you enough, thanks.” 

“Come dry my hair.” 

“I think you´re perfectly capable of doing that yourself.” 

“Yeah, but I like when you do it.” 

You rolled your eyes and groaned, pushing the blanket out of you, “Fine.” 

Wooyoung walked to the bathroom in front of you, surely having planned the way his back and arms looked from behind. You had seen him without a shirt hundreds of times already, why did you feel like you wanted to jump him now?!!?!?!?  You figured you were over it after coming back to your senses but oh boy, were you wrong. 

“Has San been dragging you to the gym?” You asked as he bent over to get the hair dryer from the bottom drawer. You figured making small talk and acting normally would keep your brain busy. 

“Yeah. And you would know that if you opened the hundreds of snaps I send you every day.” 

“I´m not 14, Wooyoung. Snapchat died in 2015, sorry to inform you,” You joked as you plugged the dryer he handed you. “Give me the towel.” 

He did as told, sitting down on your toilet as you started drying the water excess from his hair. Doing your best so no part of your arm or leg would accidentally touch his skin since you could feel the heat emanating from it. 

That was no way of living. 

Once the towel was completely damp, you tossed it on the floor and grabbed a brush, ignoring how he closed his eyes in appreciation at the touch. You fucking hated him and the way your heart was beating fast for absolutely no reason.  

Now untangled, you reached over to get the hair dryer once again but were stopped with a soft touch to the side of your leg. 

You looked down at the man expecting an answer and he simply gave you a lazy smile, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you in between his legs, “Come here. Let me look at you while you do it.” 

Well, you let him pull you along because there was nothing really sexual about it, Wooyoung was just a touchy person and he looked like he was about to fall asleep anyways.  

You turned on the dryer and used your fingers to move his hair around so the heat would get to his roots, feeling the skin of your face heat up at the way he hummed in content. Wooyoung had a lot of hair, and not just that, but he had a lot of thick hair, so you were already aware you would spend a long time in there, appreciating the silence and the fact he was pretty much out of it so you could let your guard down. 

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY you jumped in surprise when both of his hands found their way to the side of your thighs, just very softly rubbing them up and down as you dried his strands, goosebumps erupting all over your body at the delicate touch.  

Once again, just sleepy touchy Wooyoung. 

Nothing new, nothing to fuss over. 

Except YOU WERE FUSSING OVER IT BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN YOU FELT A PULSE WHERE YOU DIDN´T WANT TO FEEL A PULSE. 

This whole situation was just so domestic and nice that it scratched a very specific part of your brain that got you wanting to live in that moment forever – except maybe not with your best FRIEND. 

“I like when you touch me,” His raw voice came out softly. “You don´t do it a lot, so I have to enjoy every chance I get.” 

You didn´t have an answer to that, the only thing you could think to say was “stop” but how could he stop when he wasn´t even doing anything to begin with? This time it was not his fault that your mind was in the gutter. 

“You have enough people touching you already,” You managed to string a few words. 

“Yeah, but it feels nicer when it´s you,” He opened his eyes, you could see the sincerity in them and you felt bad that you kind of just wanted to punch him and run away. 

You were also surprised by the sudden unexpected eye contact, which explains why you accidentally pulled one of his strands a bit harshly. WHAT WASN´T EXPLAINED THOUGH, WAS THE LOW MOAN HE LET OUT AND THE WAY HIS EYES CLOSED AS HIS MOUTH PARTED. OR THE WAY YOURS HUNG OPEN TOO AT THE SOUND OR THE WAY YOU COULDN´T STOP STARING AT THE STUPID MOLE ON HIS LIP. 

It was a moment of insanity, a few seconds when your soul was out of your body; when you tentatively pulled on his hair again, feeling his nails digging into the skin of your thighs and his breathing getting heavier, yours matching. 

“If you really don´t want us to fuck then you´re just being cruel right now,” He breathed out, eyes still closed as his forehead met your abdomen.  

“I don´t?” 

“Is that a question?” 

“No. I don´t. I think your hair is dry.” 

“It´s definitely not,” He argued, raising his head once again. “C´mon, finish it. No funny business, I promise.” 

You wanted to tell him it´s not him you were worried about, it’s the way your own body was betraying you that bothered you, but you took a deep breath and continued with the work, doing your best to ignore his eyes on you or how his hands were once again toying with your thighs or how his thighs were touching your legs or how he was centimeters away from you. 

Yeah, a lot of things to ignore. 

Was your bathroom always this small? 

“You smell nice.” 

“I shower once in a while,” You agreed. “And you said no funny business.” 

“I´m complimenting you, how is that sexual?” 

“It´s not,” You agreed. 

He smirked at you because he too was well aware of the tension, if the way his sweatpants were suddenly tight were anything to go by. Thankfully he didn´t answer because you don´t think you could continue to ignore it if he mentioned he was getting hard just by you drying his hair. 

Eventually, after what felt like days, you finally turned off the dryer and prayed he would agree to your suggestion, “You´re done. Wanna sleep?” 

“Nop, this is a slumber party.” 

“What? You want to have a pillow fight now or do facemasks and gossip?” You rolled your eyes. 

“Although the first option sounds fun, I was thinking we can watch something until we fall asleep.” 

Watch something. 

Until you fell asleep. 

In your bed. 

Sure, what could go wrong? 

“What are you doing?” Wooyoung asked amusedly. 

“Building a barrier between our sides of the bed.” 

He laughed loudly at that, crawling into the bed too and taking the pillows from where you were organizing them, “Wooyoung!” 

“Shut up, you enjoyed cuddling once and you will enjoy it again.” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“What? Afraid you won´t be able to resist me? I thought we were just friends,” He teased. 

“Very funny-“ 

“Because if you´re interested we can just skip the foreplay and go straight to –“ 

“What do you want to watch?” 

You ignored his low chuckle, giving up on fighting for the pillows and getting comfortable on your bed so you could turn on the TV. 

“Community?” 

“Great,” You agreed between gritted teeth, opening the Netflix app and putting on the show from where you two had stopped it as Wooyoung fluffed the pillows behind his back next to you.  

This time he didn´t even ask before pulling you in between his legs, your back against his chest. You didn´t even fight it because honestly, what for? You simply groaned as you felt him searching for the light switch on the wall over your bed.  

“Don´t pretend you don´t enjoy it, I´ve got you all figured out now.” 

“Yeah yeah, believe what you want to.” 

“Shut up, I´m trying to watch the show.” 

You huffed, rolled your eyes and crossed your arms all at the same time. You knew it wasn´t at him you were annoyed – although he was sure making a great job at feeding into it.  

You also immediately regretted wearing shorts as the palms of his hands splayed over your thighs.  

“It´s too hot,” You complained, hoping he would let you go. 

Wooyoung simply stretched out one of his hands and grabbed the AC remote, turning it on before tossing it away and returning his palm to your thigh. His silence told you he was focused on the show and you truly wish you could say the same about yourself, but instead, your eyes were glued to the sight in front of you like it was a car wreck, not being able to look away no matter how much your brain ordered you to. Your knees were bent, your thighs almost touching your chest, so his hands were just right there in your line of sight, all veiny and calloused.  

The harder you tried to stir your mind away and pay attention to the TV, the more your brain looked like a Wattpad fanfic written by a 40-year-old who just got divorced and discovered sex wasn't just missionary. The conversation you had with Wooyoung about how the girls he fucked became literally obsessed with him kept flashing into your head and you were legitimately about to bite onto your fist and scream for 7 whole minutes.   

Your mental breakdown however was interrupted by the man behind you, who with no words started tracing his fingers – seemingly – unpresumptuously over your skin. You ignored it because you had no energy to fight it and as long as it stayed PG-rated it would be fine.  

The soft touches plus the very cold wind from the AC hitting you got goosebumps to erupt up your skin and you just felt how your nipples were suddenly sensitive against the fabric of your shirt and Wooyoung´s hand were just there, mere centimeters away and oh, you so desperately wanted him to touch them. In fact, you wanted it so badly you were fighting for your life to keep the uncomfortable squirming to a minimum.  

Thankfully, Wooyoung didn´t notice it – deep down you knew he was just pretending not to for your sake, but if he could, so would you.  

“Who do you think is hotter, Annie or Britta?” His voice suddenly, almost against your ear, shocked you. “Oh, jumpy, are we?” 

“Shut up, I was just startled.” 

“So?” 

“Britta.” 

“Same.” 

He went quiet once again, except now, when you thought his mind was once again focused on the show, his hands started getting braver. They escalated from just his fingers drawing shapes on the patch above your knees to suddenly coming down to the sensitive skin between your thighs. You jerked involuntarily even though he only traced his fingers about halfway down your legs. Wooyoung once again pretended to not notice your reaction and you pretended to not notice he was touching you.  

His fingers gently brushing the sides of your thighs all the way to your knees before you could feel the tip of his middle finger slowly grazing your skin down the inside of your thighs, lower and lower each time he came down. At this point your heart was beating so fast it was almost coming out of your throat, your breathing labored and sweat building up on your forehead even though the room was freezing cold.  

“She´s kind of annoying, though.” 

“Who?” You breathed out, honestly not even knowing your name anymore. 

“Britta.” 

“Oh, yeah.” 

Silence once again.  

Attention back to the show. 

You had to control your whine of disappointment when he retreated his hands.  

Ok, you took the chance to breathe, count to 10 and give yourself a pep talk. You could do this. You would not fuck your best friend. If not because of your morals and because of your friendship, because fucking him would mean he won, and you would never give Wooyoung the satisfaction. 

Ok, you could do this. 

You could definitely do this. 

Wooyoung gently gathered your hair and pushed it over your right shoulder, the familiar goosebumps showing up once again at the way the tip of his fingers brushed against the skin of your neck.  

Yeah, you could not do this.  

The sound that came out of your mouth when his wet lips met the juncture between your neck and shoulder could only be described as a pinscher finding out it could bark. You were in fact shaking as much as those annoying tiny dogs are known for. 

You froze, not being able to react when you felt him sucking on your skin or when his tongue tried to soothe the pain his teeth left behind. Your core was clenching so hard it hurt. 

“Wooyoung,” Your voice came out as half plead half warning.  

“Hm?” He hummed against a different spot on your neck, and it made it a thousand times worse.  

 “We shouldn´t-” 

“Just tell me to stop and I will.” 

Except you couldn´t. Not when he found your sweet spot and grazed his teeth against it before gently sucking on it. This time you allowed yourself to squirm and you felt it at the same time you heard it; Wooyoung groaned as you accidentally pressed against him and figured out you were not the only one going insane. His dick was hard and now very much pulsing against your ass and lower back.  

Both of you realized you never told him to stop and you were fighting so hard to gain control of your body back as he kissed the vein on your neck - but it was all lost when his hands snaked around your torso and grabbed your boobs. You whimpered, shamefully, squeezing your legs together to try and relieve some of the throbbing.  

His kisses grew harsher, as he sucked one spot hard enough to leave a mark, the pad of his middle fingers toyed with your nipples and you simply couldn't pretend you didn´t want this to happen anymore, not with the way you could literally start dripping onto your bed any moment now.  

A gasp left your lips when his right hand grabbed onto your thigh and pulled your legs open. You felt his dick twitching when he saw the wet patch in the middle of your shorts. 

“Oh, princess,” He sighed, pressing against the stain in pure admiration. 

“Wooyoung-” 

“Tell me to stop.” 

He gave you no time to consider his words, pulling the bottom of your shorts and panties to the side and rubbing his middle finger down your slit to wet it. You carved your nails onto his thighs in return, doing your best to stay grounded. It didn´t even take a minute for you to understand why the prior girls who slept with Wooyoung became obsessed with him, you weren´t really doing anything yet and the second the pad of his finger found your clit while his other hand gently pressed down onto your lower stomach everything became even clearer. You threw your head back on his shoulder in pleasure as he rubbed figure eights against your clit. 

Yeah, you agreed to pretend nothing happened starting tomorrow, but you figured you would never be able to forget the sound of your best friend´s deep moan against your ear when he felt you around his finger for the first time. 

“Glad to see I´m not the only one going crazy,” He groaned against your ear - and when did his voice get so raspy? 

You whined once again, not really knowing what else to do when you were practically on the edge from a minute or two of stimulation. 

“Tell me to stop.” 

“Wooyoung-” 

“I love when you say my name.” 

Were you about to cry? 

At this point, you just wanted him to ignore you and throw you around and do whatever he wanted, but you knew he wouldn´t until you said so, and you were definitely not doing that. Although with every second that passed with his finger on you, that definitely was turning more into a probably.  

“I never told you.” 

“Wha- What?” 

“From all the ways I imagined this happening, I never told you my favorite.” 

“What is it?” 

“It´s the one where we´re in a sleepover and you´re so desperate that you can��t even go to the bathroom, so you just very quietly put your hands inside your shorts and touch yourself right next to me thinking that I´m asleep. And I pretend I am, but I can hear the small whimpers you try to hold back, I can feel the slight shake of the bed and I can hear how wet you are so clearly. Sometimes, I even imagine you would decide to use me, not even try to wake me up, just sit on my face and ride it until I pretend to wake up and finally eat you out until you´re crying and shaking.” 

When you literally had to hold yourself back from finishing at his words, you grabbed his hand and turned around on your knees, smashing your lips with no fanciness against his. He was quick to grab your ass and direct you to sit on top of his legs, your thighs on either side of his in the familiar position as your tongues met and you pulled the hairs on the back of his neck with all the frustration you had inside you. 

“We´re not fucking,” You informed in between labored breaths. 

“We don´t have to fuck, I just need you to sit on my face.” 

You never whined so loudly in your life before. 

That was the one single thing you have been dreaming about hearing for weeks now and you were so happy you could practically cry, in fact, you almost came right there without even being touched. 

The link to Part 2 is at the top! <3

[urmum-lovesme]

how would toxic! rafe react to trying to leave him?

So first I thought he'd probably chain y/n up lowkey but then I thought he's such a manipulater so. . . 😼

The light coming in through the large white windows casted long shadows across the walls, and Rafe sits on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, rubbing his eyes like he’s trying to physically wipe away the conversation.

"Y/N, I don’t get why you’re making such a big deal out of this."

His voice is low, tired- like she’s the one exhausting him, like she’s the problem. Y/N stands a few feet away, arms crossed so tightly over her chest it almost looks painful. She wants to scream, to shake him, to force him to understand- but she already knows how this is going to go.

"No, Rafe, I—" She exhales sharply, pressing her lips together before shaking her head. Her voice is steadier when she speaks again.

"I put up with a lot of your shit, but—"

"-excuse me my shit-"

"-but I won’t let you cheat on me!"

For a change, she doesn't back down which causes his head to snap up, brows raised in disbelief. His voice carries that familiar, dangerous edge- the kind that tells her she’s treading on thin ice. The words are barely out of her mouth before he’s scoffing, shaking his head as he leans back on his hands.

"I’ve not fucking cheated on you. You’re deluded."

"Right. So I just imagined hearing Topper and Kelce talking about you with some girl at that party I just didn’t happen to go to?"

She lets out a bitter laugh, one that doesn’t reach her eyes and Rafe rolls his eyes in response,

"Jesus that’s what this is about? You’re really losing your shit over a conversation you weren’t even part of?"

"I know what I heard Rafe!"

Her voice cracks, but it’s not from sadness- well maybe slightly- but it’s mainly from rage. From frustration.

"They said you were all over some girl and that you left with her—"

"-That’s bullshit, Y/N. They’re just trying to fuck with you—”

"No, Rafe. They weren’t." Her voice cracks, but she steadies herself.

"because they didn't even know I was listening.”

He lets out a short laugh, shaking his head. His hands go to his hips, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip as he looks away like he’s trying to keep his temper in check.

"You’re really gonna listen to them over me?”

She doesn’t say anything, instead averting her eyes from him And that? That sets him off.

"Oh, so what- you don’t trust me now?"

He steps closer, his voice rising. She straightens her spine, blinking back the tears in her eyes as she looks to the boy.

"I don’t know, Rafe. Should I?"

And it’s so genuine, so soft, that for a moment and it makes his anger falter. But Rafe hates feeling guilty. So instead of answering, he shakes his head, laughing humourlessly as he turns his back to her, pacing slightly. His hands run through his hair before resting on the back of his neck.

"This is so fucking stupid."

His voice is quieter now, almost—like if he says it softly enough, she’ll feel bad for bringing it up. But she doesn’t, instead her brows draw into a deeper frown as she speaks again.

"It’s not stupid to me."

And that’s what kills her. That he thinks he can do whatever he wants and she’s just supposed to sit there and take it. There’s a thick silence between them and it's broken when Rafe exhales through his nose, his hands dropping to his sides before he turns back to her.

"So what now, huh?" His voice is almost tired now.

"You gonna break up with me over some dumb fucking rumour?”

She blinks at him.

"If it’s a dumb rumour, why do you sound so guilty?"

And for the first time, he doesn’t have an answer. She looks at him, her eyes filled with resolve, shaking her head slowly as she breathes out a shaky sigh.

“I’m not doing this anymore Rafe.”

The words escape her lips with finality, and without another glance, she turns toward the door. Her fingers curl around the handle, but before she can reach for it fully, she feels his grip on her wrist, yanking her back with surprising force.

"Hey, hey, wait-" 

His voice is frantic now, his hand tightening around her wrist as if he’s afraid she’ll slip away. He pulls her toward him, his chest rising and falling rapidly as his grip falters just slightly.

“C’mon baby. . . it’s just a misunderstanding don’t leave.”

She shudders in his grip, the irritation growing her chest. She twists her wrist free, the movement sharp, and she stumbles back a step, glaring at him.

“Stop it, Rafe- We’re done.”

His breath hitches, a flicker of something close to fear crossing his face. He doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like her rejecting him, walking away from him. The very thought of losing her sets something off inside of him- something ugly and primal.

"No we’re not, stop it."

His voice cracks with an edge of desperation now, and his words come faster and more urgent. He steps forward, closing the space between them, his expression morphing into something less controlled. But she’s had enough. With shaking hands, she grips the door handle again and this time, she yanks it open. Before she can step through, he slams his hand down onto the door, the noise sharp and violent as it echoes through the room.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

Her body tenses, but she stands her ground. Her voice is stronger now, though still shaking with raw emotion.

“Yes, I am, you’re a fucking cheat.”

The words are out before she can stop them, and it’s like a slap in the face for him. His face twists in anger, his nostrils flaring. His voice is low and dangerous, the fury in it palpable. He takes a step closer, his chest nearly pressing against hers as he glares down at her.

“Watch your fucking mouth.”

“I can’t believe you would do this, Rafe- I can’t fucking believe you.”

She can feel the heat radiating off him, the tension crackling in the air. Her words are barely a whisper, but they hit him like a freight train. The weight of them, the hurt, the betrayal- they sting more than she wants to admit. Her hands are trembling now, but she refuses to look away from him. He watches her with a mix of fury and confusion, a fight brewing in his chest. It’s a twisted battle- part of him knows he’s wrong, knows he’s been pushing her too far. But another part of him, a darker, possessive part, refuses to let her go. He’s never had control slip from his hands like this before, and it’s making him feel something he doesn’t know how to handle. Rafe exhales sharply, hands tightening into fists by his sides as he mutters, shaking his head in disbelief.

“You’re overreacting-"

“No!” Y/N fires back, her voice loud and defiant. “No, I’m not!”

He takes a step toward her, his hand outstretched again, but she pulls away from him quickly, moving further from the door, clearly uncomfortable with how close he’s standing. Rafe asks, his voice tinged with annoyance.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t want to touch you right now”

“I didn’t fucking sleep with her Y/N! What is your problem?”

“You fucking kissed her, Rafe-”

"I was high okay?!"

“That is not an excuse!”

Y/N’s eyes flash with fury as she stares at him, her hands balling into fists by her sides. Rafe’s face twists with frustration, as if he’s still trying to grasp what she’s so upset about.

“Jesus, it was a mistake, okay? I know it was stupid, but it wasn’t like I wanted to be with her.”

Y/N’s expression hardens as she looks at him causing him to pipe up again,

"What you want me to apologise? I'll apologise- I'm sorry alright? It was a mistake."

“You seriously think saying ‘sorry’ is enough?”

She asks, voice dangerously calm, but underneath she was shattering, small pieces of her heart crumbling. She shakes her head, disappointment dripping from her every word.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“It’s not my fault you’re a fucking prude and didn’t want to go out with me.”

Rafe looks at her, irritated, as he crosses his arms. Y/N stands frozen for a moment, completely dumbfounded. She asks, the words so sharp they could cut through the tension in the room.

“Are you seriously blaming me right now?”

“You’re always so fucking difficult, Y/N,”

His eyes narrow as he steps closer to her and he speaks through clenched teeth. She stands still in the middle of the room, seething with frustration. Rafe watches her carefully, his eyes narrowing in disbelief at her words.

“I’m difficult? I’m dif—okay you know what, fine,”

She says, voice tight with rage as she turns on her heel and strides toward the his wardrobe. She opens it and begins pulling her things out- clothes she kept at his place for the nights she stayed over. A soft rustle fills the silence between them as she stuffs them into her bag. Rafe’s confusion shifts to anger, but he can’t seem to control the rising panic in his chest. He’s high, and everything feels more intense than it should. His thoughts race with the fear that she’s really going to leave.

“What are you doing?”

He demands, his voice growing sharp. She doesn’t answer. She just keeps packing her clothes into the bag as if he isn’t even standing there. He presses, his words harsher now, desperation seeping into his tone.

“Hey, c’mon,”

Still, she doesn’t respond. Rafe’s eyes flick to the door and back to her, his mind spiralling. The paranoia sets in, his voice cracks a little, the crack of vulnerability that betrays the fear gnawing at him.

“Y/N, I’m fucking talking to you!”

Y/N keeps her jaw clenched, trying to hold it together, the pain of everything simmering beneath the surface. But she stays silent. Rafe steps closer, standing on the other side of the bed, his hand pressed to his forehead.

“Baby... I know I fucked up, yeah? I know I did but I won’t do it again- Y/N, look at me. I’m fucking talking to you.”

Her eye's never look up him as she finishes packing her clothes. He watches her, breath shallow, the weight of his actions heavy in the air. She doesn’t react. She doesn’t give him anything. It’s breaking him.

“Shit, c’mon, Y/N- don’t do this”

Rafe mutters under his breath, his voice breaking. He’s panicking now, biting his nail and staring at her helplessly as if that will stop the situation from spinning out of control.

“I’ll buy you anything you want,” he says, desperation coating his words.

“I’ll get you that bracelet you wanted... what was it? Shit... Cartier?”

His eyes dart around as if searching for some answer to fix this, to stop her from walking out. Y/N strides over to the drawer where her perfume sits beside his cologne, each bottle a reminder of all the nights spent here. Her fingers brush the delicate glass, and she pulls it off the shelf, intent on adding it to her bag. Rafe's heart races as he watches her, the panic growing heavier with each passing second.

“No, no, wait, wait-”

He says quickly, his voice rough with anxiety. He steps forward, reaching out to grab the perfume from her hands, his fingers wrap around it, and for a brief moment, she lets go of it, her lips pressed together in a thin line. Her silence is more unbearable than any words she could speak. She simply turns back to her bag, her movements calculated and controlled as she zips it up. Rafe stands there, frozen for a moment, watching her every move with disbelief. Y/N picks up the bag, holding it tightly in her hands as she turns to face him. The tension between them is suffocating, and she doesn’t meet his gaze. Instead, her teeth are clenched, her expression rigid as if she's fighting the urge to cry.

He can’t take it.

Rafe’s eyes are locked onto her, his expression shifting from panic to something more calculated as he steps forward, reaching out to grip her arms. His hands slide up and down her forearms in a feigned tenderness, but there's an underlying desperation in the way he holds her.

“Y/N…” His voice falters, but he catches it before it gives way entirely.

“I love you.”

His hands tighten on her arms, the grip harder now, like he's trying to hold onto her, as if she might slip away at any moment.

"You’re really just gonna leave me? Just like everyone else- just like… everyone always does?"

There’s a hurt in his voice now, something wounded, but his eyes tell a different story. He’s trying to guilt her, twisting his emotions into something that might keep her here. His chest tightens with the weight of his own manipulation, and he leans closer to her, eyes desperate, pleading.

“Don't you love me?” he whispers, and his eyes glisten with tears that he can't fully control now, though they don’t fall.

“You- you don’t care about me.”

He’s staring at her, holding her with more force now, his fingers digging into her arms, and though she tries to pull back, his grip only tightens.

“Please,” he continues, his voice breaking slightly.

“I... I would do anything for you hear me?”

His hand moves shakily to her cheek, his thumb brushing against her skin as if trying to feel some kind of connection. His tear-rimmed eyes lock onto hers, and his breath is uneven as he speaks again, his voice shaking.

“I love you. You’re all I have… please don’t leave me.”

Y/N stands there, frozen in place, the weight of his words settling over her like a heavy fog. She can feel his panic in the way he holds her, in the way his fingers tremble against her skin. It’s hard to tell where the guilt ends and the genuine emotion begins, but the desperation in his eyes is undeniable. Rafe’s grip on her tightens even more, and then, suddenly, his whole demeanour shifts. His breathing becomes erratic, his face contorting with raw emotion that she wasn’t expecting. He drops to his knees in front of her, his hands slipping from her arms to clutch at her waist, pulling her closer.

“No,” he chokes out, his voice breaking with a desperation that she hasn’t heard from him before.

“You can’t… you can’t leave me, baby please you can’t…”

She stands there, frozen, her mind scrambling to make sense of the overwhelming rush of emotions and the way he’s unraveling in front of her. His face presses into her stomach, and he sobs into her, the sound raw and painful.

“You promised,” he whispers against her, his breath hitching.

“You said you’d never leave me. You can’t do this. I… I can’t do this without you.”

He holds onto her tightly now, his arms wrapped around her waist, fingers digging into her sides as though he’s trying to hold her in place, trying to keep her from slipping through his fingers. She can feel the dampness of his tears against her skin, the weight of his pain crashing against her, and it leaves her standing there in shock, unable to move or speak. She wasn’t expecting this.

This… vulnerability.

This breakdown.

The intensity of it almost paralyses her. Rafe's breath comes in short, harsh bursts as he continues, his voice breaking apart with each word.

“Please don’t leave me baby. . .”

He whispers again, barely audible, as if she might not hear him if he doesn’t say it enough. His body trembles slightly, his hands shaking around her as if he's holding on to the last piece of reality he can. All Y/N can do is stand there, her mind a blur, her heart pounding, unsure of how to handle the intensity of his breakdown. Rafe’s grip tightens around her, his fingers twisting in the fabric of her shirt. He looks up at her with those tear-filled eyes, pleading, his voice barely holding together.

“No- no- I love you,” he says again, his voice cracking.

“I fucking love you don’t you get it?”

Her heart aches at the sight of him like this- so desperate. But she feels the weight of everything he puts her under, pain, lies, betrayal, and the suffocating pressure in the pit of her stomach expands at the thought. She shakes her head, her voice trembling as she tries to make him hear her.

“Rafe, this isn’t normal. . .”

She says, her words weak, almost too soft to be heard over the storm of emotions he’s throwing at her. But he shakes his head, refusing to listen. His hands fist tighter in the material of her top, pulling her closer.

“I’d give up everything for you,” he insists, his voice thick with a mix of fear and anger.

“Everything. Y/N you can't leave me-”

“-Rafe, just let go of me.”

She pleads, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t loosen his hold on her at all. She tries to take a step back, trying to break free from his grasp, but he’s not letting go.

“No, no,”

He repeats, his voice growing more frantic, more desperate and then slowly, he moves up, his knees shifting as he rises slightly, his eyes locking onto hers. His face is flushed, his skin red and blotchy from crying. There’s an intensity in his eyes that makes her breath catch in her throat.

“I’d kill for you. Y/N, don't you understand? ”

Y/N can barely breathe, the tears welling up in her eyes as she stares at him, a wave of conflicting emotions crashing over her. She’s scared. She’s angry. She’s confused. She doesn’t know how to react to this raw, desperately unhinged version of him in front of her. His hands slide down to take hers, lifting them gently, pressing her hand to his lips. She can’t move, her body trembling as he places kisses on her hand, trailing them down to her ring finger.

“I love you,” he whispers, his voice breaking once more.

“I’m going to make you my wife-”

“Stop… please-”

She whispers, her voice barely audible, the words escaping in a broken breath. But Rafe’s grip only tightens, pulling her closer to him again. She closes her eyes briefly, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill. He peaks again his voice low, like a promise, or a threat—she can’t quite tell.

"Going to be mine forever.”

And in that moment, she doesn’t know what to do.

She doesn’t know how to escape from this.

[jarofstyles]

Teach Me?

Hello love bugs, we've got a huge one shot here. I see a lot of writing where the guy helps the girl out with inexperience, but I thought I'd like to write something where he's the one asking for help. I had a lot of fun putting this together so I hope you guys like it. I may do more but I have a lot of other stuffed planned but let me know your thoughts!

Check out our Patreon for early access and 260+ exclusive writings! (Sign up on your browser to save $$)

WC- 12.3k

Warnings- mentions of insecurity, anxiety, oral, soft!Dom H, soft!Dom Y/N, switchy vibes but mostly Dom!H, Y/N pokes fun at him for being nerdy but she loves it,

"Hey..." Harry began casually, wiping his hands on a towel after washing. Her best friend had invited himself over for dinner, which meant he was going to do the dishes. It was an unspoken rule of their friendship. If you invite yourself, you clean up. But seeing as Y/N was the one who cooked nine out of ten times, it had become a normal to see him at her kitchen sink. Her eyes peeked up at him from her phone, giving him a look to continue. "Can I ask you something? It's a kinda...weird request." He scratched the back of his neck nervously, looking at her with an attempt at puppy dog eyes. He wanted something and it made her narrow her eyes. 

“I’m not going to the convention with you again, Har. It’s not my scene, I told you. I’ll watch any series of movies until our brains leak out our ears but if I have to sit through panels and Q&As where they ask what the characters favorite food is again I may lose my mind.” She knew it was coming up… but apparently that wasn’t his point. Thank God.

 "No! No. Adam is going with me this year. Rude. But besides that…” It made her a lot more curious as to what it could be because he did genuinely look nervous. “It's a weird question, actually." He sat down next to her on the couch, twisting his hands together. "And you can totally say no... but..." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Would you... maybe..." The hesitance had her sitting up a little straighter, raising her brow higher to urge him forward. "God..." He muttered softly, trying to find the words. "You promise not to judge?" He saw her raise an eyebrow. "I mean it. No making fun of me." He watched as she slowly nodded, waiting.

“I make fun of you for a lot of things, but if you’re asking me not to, I won’t. Are you okay?” Y/N asked softly, unused to his behavior. He was usually playful and could take any joke, so it wasn’t exactly like him to ask her not to do it. 

"I'm okay." He assured her, but still had the nervous look in his eyes. "It's just... I've recently realized... kinda an embarrassing thing about myself." He shifted uncomfortably, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "I don’t think… I don’t think I’m actually making girls finish properly when I hook up with them. At least not every time. And I feel like shit about it.”

That was a surprise to her. Harry had the whole hot and nerdy thing going on, and he pulled plenty. Not that he always attempted or took them up on the offers, but he’d had a few girls he had hooked up with that she knew of. Usually he kept pretty quiet about it, but that didn’t bother her. Y/N had assumed a lot about him because… He did have some big dick energy going on. He had really nice hands too. The idea of him being unskilled in bed didn’t feel like it was right, but she was hearing him out. “What’s making you think this?” She asked curiously. “Did someone say something?”

"No, no one's ever said anything. Not to my face." His face flushed slightly pink as he shifted again, trying to get comfortable. "I just... well. Sometimes I noticed they'd tense up or seem kinda disappointed later. Like they were expecting something else. More? I dunno. And they don’t usually text me again, which is fine and all but I hate thinking I let someone down. It’s embarrassing." He avoided looking at her while he talked, staring at his fidgeting fingers instead. "I don't want to be one of those guys who only thinks about themselves. That’s the last thing I want to do." He trailed off, clearly embarrassed. So unlike him that it made her heart hurt a little bit. Harry was a happy guy and seeing him not like that was like seeing a wet puppy in the street. She had to fix it. 

“Well the fact that you even care at all is really good. I know, the bar is on the floor but, unfortunately a lot of men don’t give a shit if we finish or not.” Y/N knew plenty of men- had experienced them herself- that didn’t care if it felt good for her. They wanted a quick nut and go. Harry never seemed to be the type. Honestly, he was very thorough in most things and she’d assumed that would properly bleed over to sex.

 “Wanting to be better is half the battle. You don’t have to be embarrassed about it. The first time I sucked someone off I gagged really awfully, the sound made him go soft.” She laughed at her own bad time. “We all start somewhere.”

He laughed softly at her story, feeling a little more at ease knowing he wasn’t the only one. Y/N was far more experienced and open about being a little freak, so it felt better to know even she had some weirder experiences. It wasn’t just him. "Yeah, I can imagine." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Gagging on dick is not the most pleasant experience, is it?" He turned to look at her, his eyes serious again. "But, um, thanks for listening and all that. I just... I want to be good at it. For them, and for myself." He looked down at his hands again, picking at his fingernails nervously. He needed to paint them again so he would stop doing it. His pink polish was chipped. "And that's why I was wondering…” He bit his lip, his heart racing as he tried to work up the nerve to ask his best friend a very personal favor. The most personal you could probably get.

 "Would you... would you maybe let me practice on you?” The silence lingered for a moment longer than he was okay with, panicking slightly as he continue. “I promise I'll listen to everything you say, and we can stop anytime you want. We don’t even have to! You can say no, obviously.” The man was babbling as he tried to untwist his tongue. “But I really trust you and I think you'd give me good feedback. Honest feedback." He looked up at her with pleading eyes, his cheeks flushed a darker pink that she hadn’t seen before- all the way up to his ears.

“Me?” That… was not at all what she had expected. To be fair she hadn’t been sure what to expect but that would probably be lower on the list. “You want to… practice eating pussy or something, on me? I just want to make sure I heard you correctly.” Because she sure as hell didn’t know if this was some sort of dream or delusion.

Harry nodded quickly, his ears turning an even deeper shade of red. "Yeah, you. I mean, if you're comfortable with it. I know it's a really fucking weird request and all, I swear I’m not trying to make anything weird with us but... you're my best friend, and I trust you. And I know you'd be honest with me." Y/N was known for being honest even if it wasn’t the most appropriate time to be. He looked at her with those big, hopeful eyes, his bottom lip worried between his teeth. "Please? I promise I'll do everything I can to make it good for you, if you let me. I just really want to get better at this."

It could fuck up the friendship. Y/N knew that, because it was every sort of cliche thing that tells you do not, under any circumstances, hook up with your best friend. But… it had been a while. Harry didn’t ask much of her besides her dinners and to go to some events with him so he wasn’t alone. He listened to her rants and brought her food when she was hungry and didn’t want to go out. He made her bed for her sometimes just because he was near and tidy like that. He swept the kitchen after dinner. He bought tickets to movies and concerts on his card and told her to pay him back whenever she could. He protected her if people acted weird at the rare chance they went out to the bar. Harry was a really fucking good friend, the best she’d ever had. 

She also couldn’t lie to herself and say she didn’t think he had a spectacularly pretty mouth and even better hands. They had always been really nice. Soft, long fingers, big palm. The tattoos that trickled down… Fuck. She was going to say yes. Fuck it. “Okay. I guess we can, but I’ve got some rules.”

He blinked, surprised but trying to hide it, his heart racing faster at her surprisingly quick answer. "Rules?" He nodded, leaning forward slightly, completely focused on her words. "Of course. I mean... I'll do anything you say." That came out a bit too smooth, and they both caught the double meaning. He cleared his throat, trying to appear casual and failing miserably. "What are they?" His eyes were fixed on her, his hands folded in his lap to stop them from shaking nervously.

“I mean, I’m being a little dramatic. It’s only a few.” She laughed, leaning back on the couch. “One being we don’t tell anyone. Our friends are already weird about how much time we spend together. Two, you don’t touch me and then another woman. If you find someone else that’s completely fine, but I don’t want her germs and shit on me.” That was not something she liked at all. “If you’re practicing on me, it’s me. I won’t fuck around with other people either, but I don’t fuck with STIs and all that.” It was doubtful he would need to be reminded of that. 

“I’m assuming this is going to be a couple times because the way you get good at stuff is practicing. I won’t complain if I get a few orgasms out of this.” She shrugged as if this was a normal thing to be discussing. Best friends having sex.  “But the last one is you don’t make things weird after you’re all good with your skills. Don’t make stuff weird.”

"Those are..." He cleared his throat, trying to process everything she had just said. "Those are actually very reasonable rules." He nodded, making sure to emphasize each point so she know he heard her loud and clear. "One: Not telling our friends is smart. Two: Of course, no cheating. We aren’t dating but I’m a one woman type of man. My mother raised me better than that. You know she would kill me." He managed a small smile. "Three: I, uh, plan on practicing. A lot, if you let me." His eyes lingered just a moment too long on her lips, then quickly flicked away.

“Good.” Harry was efficient in most things. It’s exactly why she understood how much it probably bothered the hell out of him to not really be able to get a woman off, or so he thinks. She was just being a good friend, right? helping him out. “So walk me through what you usually do when you bring someone home. We start there. I can tell you if something you’re doing is weird.”

He swallowed nervously, trying to collect his thoughts as he shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Well, uh... usually I'd start by kissing them, ya know? Get them a little worked up before moving down." He gestured vaguely with his hands, as if physically trailing kisses down an imaginary body. "Then I'd kinda... kiss around the area, maybe use my fingers first to make sure they're wet and all..." He trailed off, wincing as he realized how clinical it sounded when he said it out loud.

“That sounds decent, but kind of like a routine.” Harry was like that, she knew, but sex wasn’t. “Not all women are the same, though. We’re all different. You don’t experiment at all to see where her sensitive spots are? Do you keep kissing to the lips and her cunt?” The question was blunt, but she usually was.

"Well... No, actually. I kinda just do the same thing every time." He ran a hand through his hair nervously, realizing how basic that sounded compared to how she spoke about sex. "And yeah, I guess I do stop kissing once I get down there. Why?" He was listening intently, genuinely curious about her approach. For all his perceived experience with women, he was suddenly feeling very inexperienced in this one area. Something about the way she talked about sex was... different. Confident, like it was no big deal.

“Because women are sensual creatures, Harry. Sure, we have similar biological things that happen but the way we get horny is with our minds. Teasing a little. Dirty talk, if you’re good at it, ease into it. Kissing places that aren’t just the obvious.” Shifting to face him, she grabbed one of his hands and put it on her shoulder. He was definitely nervous. It was a little cute. “I’ll give you a cheat sheet for me. I really like to be kissed under my ear, over my throat. Sometimes a lick or a suck. A bite, if I’m in the mood. I like to be kissed over my stomach, tops of my breasts, inner thighs, hips. They aren’t necessarily obvious, but the exploration is nice.” 

Taking his hand, she moved it to her neck and then dragged it down past her tits, down her stomach to the waistband of her joggers. “You can have a general path, but you need to be comfortable deviating from it when that’s what she responds to.”

"Fuck..." The curse slipped out quietly as his breath caught, noticing how comfortable she was with his hand on her body. His fingers lingered at her waistband, acutely aware of the sensitive skin just inches beneath. "I never really thought about it like that. I always just went straight for the pussy." He cleared his throat, realizing how crude that sounded coming out loud. "I mean..." She chuckled at his flustered state, finding it endearing. "So you're saying I should take my time? Like, really tease her out?" He moved his hand slightly, fingertips brushing the bare skin of her lower abdomen just beneath her shirt hem. "Kiss other places, see what makes her squirm?" 

His gaze flickered down to where his hand rested, then back up to meet her eyes. There was a new spark of understanding there, like pieces clicking into place. "And if I find somewhere she likes? I should... explore that?" 

“Yeah.” Her stomach had jumped as he moved his hand but didn’t say anything about it. “Every person is different. I’m sure you have places you like to be touched that people haven’t tried yet either. Being in tune with your body and hers, being able to read the cues that’s what could be your strength.” It was something a lot of men didn’t bother to take into consideration.

"Like, if she makes a certain noise or tenses up?" He was genuinely intrigued now, his mind racing with possibilities. "What if she pulls my hair or digs her nails into my back?" He shifted his hand lower, fingers splaying out on her stomach curiously. "Does that mean she likes it?" He was so focused on the hypotheticals that he almost missed the way his hand resting on her stomach made her stomach muscles twitch slightly beneath his palm.

“Yes, exactly that. Sometimes you’ll be able to feel her pulse if you’re holding her wrist, or.. Well, if you’ve got your hand around her throat. We’ll talk about proper choking another day, but you can see if her pulse jumps from that.” His hands were perfect for that, honestly, and she shouldn’t let her mind wander. Nope. “The noises she makes, if she pulls you further in, bucks her hips, those are all good signs. Not everyone is extremely vocal, but checking in to make sure she likes it, if she wants you to give more, it can help.

"Checking in?" He repeated, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he tried to wrap his head around the idea. "You mean like... asking her if she likes it?" He shifted his hand lower still, fingertips brushing the hem of her joggers. "Like, 'is this okay?' Or 'do you like this?'" He could see how that might be helpful, especially with quieter partners. "But wouldn't that ruin the moment?" He looked up at her, genuinely curious and seeking approval.

“You don’t have to ask in such a sterile way. You can just say something like ‘does that feel good?’ or ‘that’s nice, baby?’ and see her response. You’ve got a nice voice, Har. Use it.” She gave him the compliment easily. He did need a bit of confidence boosting, that much she could already tell. “Checking in shouldn’t ruin the moment. It’s safe, it’s a sign of a good partner. You’ll figure out how to check in in a less… abrupt way.”

"Right... fuck me." He muttered under his breath, actually feeling slightly embarrassed about how little thought he'd put into this before. "I've been a clueless fuck, haven't I?" He sighed, running his fingers along her waistband more deliberately now, testing how she responded. His heart stuttered slightly when she complimented his voice."So like..." He traced patterns on her lower stomach with his fingertips, almost unconsciously. “Feels good?” Testing out the way she had suggested.

Y/N swallowed, feeling a bit of a shift. He had seemed to be having a good time touching her stomach, the light tracing on her skin making her heat up a little bit. She wasn’t blind- Harry had most definitely gotten hotter over the years, and he was just attractive in general. Though she hadn’t allowed herself to look at him as anything but the quirky best friend he was, getting to see a different side of him was something she was intrigued by.

 “Mhm.” She tilted her head slightly to the side. “See? It doesn’t have to be straight into it. Just touches like that can get a girl wet.” It was starting to get to her, weirdly enough. “Tell me about kissing. How do you usually start it?”

"Kissing..." He trailed off, his mind briefly distracted by the way her skin felt beneath his fingers. "Uh... well. I usually start with a simple peck, just to see if they're into it." His other hand came up to gently tilt her chin, exposing her neck to him. "If they seem like I have the go ahead, I'll press my lips to theirs more firmly- it’s kinda hard to explain with words." Being a little bold, he let his thumb brush over her bottom lip absently as he spoke, his gaze fixed on her mouth.

“Well if you’re going to eat me out, I don’t see why you can’t just show me.” Kissing Harry had not been something she had anticipated actually doing, really ever, but she can’t say she hadn’t thought about it. The man had an incredible mouth. Soft looking lips, deep pink, the cute little birthmark, all of it was appealing- it was just that it wasn't a possibility for her prior. “Show me how you do it with them.”

His thumb brushed her bottom lip again, his breath hitching slightly at the idea of kissing her. It was just an exercise, he reminded himself firmly. This was just a dry run, to help him figure out his technique. But as he slowly leaned in, his heart rate picked up, eyes flicking between her lips and onto her eyes. "Like... this." He whispered hoarsely, sliding his hand back into her hair to tilt her head further. His lips pressed to hers gently, just a soft brush at first to test the waters. His lips were soft and warm against hers, the kiss gentle at first. He waited for her to react, to see if she would pull away or lean into it. As she didn't, he took it as his sign to keep going, slowly increased the pressure, his lips molding to hers in a soft, sweet kiss. 

Feeling emboldened when she began to press her lips back to his, Harry peppered her lips with a series of short, sweet kisses. His lips brushed against hers once, twice, three times in rapid succession, each kiss a little firmer than the last. He could feel her starting to relax into it, her lips softening beneath his own. Encouraged, he let his tongue flick out briefly, a teasing taste before pulling back slightly to gauge her reaction. She tasted like the lemon lime soda she’d had with dinner, a sweet surprise. All of this had been. He hadn’t been sure if she would say yes and if this would potentially make things weird, but thankfully Y/N seemed at least a little receptive to it. His hand remained in her hair, holding her gently as he studied her face for any signs of discomfort or approval. “Okay?”

Y/N knew he would be a good kisser, but he was playing it safe. However, even with the safety still on, she knew he had it in him. He wasn’t as shy as he had been before and that had surprised her a bit when he had gripped her to keep her in place. That had been exceptionally hot. At least to her. “Yeah. You did well.” She cleared her throat to rid herself of the rasp. “You’re playing it safe, though. Here.” 

Swinging her knee over his lap, she pushed him back against the back of the couch so his posture was more relaxed. “You’re stiff. Pun not intended.” She snickered, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “You’ve got to relax a little bit. I don’t know if it’s just me or you get anxious when you kiss other girls too. The thing you did holding my face still? That was hot. It’s gonna depend on the girl but you seem to have an idea on what to do.” Placing her hands on his broad shoulders, she settled her weight on top of him. Hm.. he really had been doing well at the gym. “You okay with me on your lap?”

Harry blinked in surprise, trying to catch up to the fact that she was currently in his lap. Closer than she usually got to him, voluntarily hopping on up. “Y-yes! I mean, yes, please. Go on." His voice cracked slightly at the end, betraying his nerves. He wasn’t sure if it was from the unexpected closeness or just the sudden shift in dynamic between them. Her weight felt nice on his lap, but besides a cuddle or two this was definitely the closest they’d ever been. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be nervous.”

Y/N nearly cooed. His frown was precious, really. He was precious. Sliding a hand over his jaw, she tilted his head to meet her eyes. “It’s okay to be nervous, but it’s just me. I’m not going to judge you. You asked for my help, and I’m gonna give it to you.” Slipping her fingers in his hair, she made herself familiar with touching him. They hadn’t been super touchy to begin with but she knew Harry liked physical touch. He was clingy with their other friends physically, but he had always respected that Y/N typically wasn’t the type. Now though? It was free game. “You can touch me how you want. Get familiar with me.”

Y/N wasn’t the type to truly judge if you really needed her and he knew that. Hell, that was why he had come to her in the first place- but she was intimidatingly beautiful. It set him off to be even more nervous. His mind briefly wondered if this was how he was in bed- overthinking everything- maybe that was why he didn’t get calls back. 

“Shit.” He muttered softly, then snapped back to attention as she told him to touch her. He wanted to do that, he had always wanted to but Y/N only really liked to be cuddled when drunk. When she was, she would be giggly and happy, hold on to his hand and swing them back and forth, especially when he helped her get into the car. It had always made him feel special, but this? It was a privilege to touch her. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms loosely around her, testing the waters. “Like this?” He spread his fingers out slightly on her back, his thumbs nearly brushing the bottom of her bra strap under her top.

“Yeah, that’s nice.” Leaning into him, she let her fingers run over the rims of his glasses. “These are cute. I like them.” His new glasses suited him. They were a little bit thinner than his old ones and it was a tad bit more modern. She hadn’t been lying to him when she said he had the hot n’ nerdy advantage. “You’ve got really nice hands, Har. Use them.”

He blushed slightly at the compliment on his glasses, his fingers tightening slightly on her waist possessively. "You really think?" He asked softly, tilting his head to the side to give her better access to his face. He liked when she did little things like that, adjusting his glasses or messing with his hair. Maybe it was because he felt touch starved, particularly from her, but the simple brushes of her fingers made him feel that heat in his lower stomach. It was so simple but the air felt a lot thicker than it had before. He took a deep breath, steeling his nerves to be more bold as he slowly dragged his hands over her hips.

“Mhm.” She nodded, gently running her nails over his scalp. “See? I’m not too scary.” Though she had to admit that the feeling of his big hands pawing at her and running over her hips and waist made her feel a little bit giddy. Maybe she could attribute it to the fact it really had been a while since she had been touched in a way that wasn’t friendly, but her body liked the way it felt. “You’re being polite, which is nice. But as cute as your little gentleman thing is, I know you want to grab my ass, Harry. You can do it.”

Harry's breath caught as she said that, his eyes darkening slightly behind his glasses. He had definitely been thinking about it, doubted there was anyone who saw it and didn’t want to, but he hadn't wanted to overstep. Hearing her give him permission was like a green light and he couldn't help himself. His hands squeezed her hips before slowly sliding down to grip her ass, his fingers spreading out to knead the soft flesh. "Fuck..." He muttered under his breath, his voice hoarse. "You're so soft."

His grip on her ass tightened reflexively as he pulled her more firmly against him, a low groan escaping his lips. The heat of her pressed deliciously against his hardening cock, and he couldn't help but roll his hips slightly, seeking friction. "Shit, Y/N...Sorry. I don't want to get carried away." He breathed, his face flushing darker. Here he was, rock hard with his best friend in his lap, from a little ass grab. It was embarrassing how quickly he had gotten worked up- But God, it felt good.

There was a sigh out of her mouth as she felt him start to relax and do what he wanted to do. This was closer to where she wanted him to get, but she hadn’t expected it to feel as good just being rubbed over his lap. “There you go- it’s okay.” She whispered. “That’s hot. You want to show her that you’re eager for her.” With her grip in his hair, she tugged his head back slightly to look at his pink cheek. “You’re a faster learner, I know. But you remember what I told you? Try kissing my neck. I told you the spots I like.”

His eyes fluttered shut as she tugged on his hair, his throat exposed to her. "Yeah. I can do it. S’long as you feel good, m’happy..." He whispered, his voice rougher than she had ever heard it. Leaning into her touch, he let her guide his face into her neck and followed instructions quickly to press open mouth kisses to her skin. He started at the spot just below her ear, as she had told him about, sucking gently on the soft skin. His hands continued to grab at her ass, pulling her flush against him as he kissed and sucked his way down her neck.

The kisses trailed lower, his lips hot and damp against her neck. Each press of his mouth made chills rise on her skin, his stubble lightly scratching her sensitive skin in the most delicious way. As he sucked gently on a particularly sweet spot, she couldn't help but tip her head to give him better access, a soft gasp escaping her lips. None of this had been expected, but liking his mouth on her skin hadn’t been. Maybe it really was just the fact it had been a while but… it felt better than her last hookup. 

Harry was her friend and she trusted him. She felt safe, and that probably made her feel a lot more comfortable, just as it probably did for him. But having his hands all over her was something her whole body was responding to.  A quick learner, he had realized how much she liked feeling the friction and did something about it. His strong hands gripped her ass harder, pulling her over his lap and letting feel the throb of him through their clothes.

He could feel her getting heavier in his lap, her breath growing shallow as he continued his adoration of her neck. It felt amazing, yes, but he was in a bit of awe. Harry really should have known that Y/N didn’t half ass anything. She was thorough in everything she did- apparently it extended to teaching him how to please a woman. His hands roamed freely as he adjusted, taking a risk in spreading her legs wider over his lap to better fit her between his thighs.

 "Am I doing okay?" He mumbled into her neck, his voice muffled. "Is this warming you up enough? Or should I be doing more?" His fingers flexed on her hips before sliding down, spreading out to rest on her thighs.

“You’re doing good.” The thickness in her throat made her voice a bit raspier, unsure how she had managed to let herself get to this point. It felt really fucking good. His hands strong and so fucking big, splaying over her thighs. The heat of them seeming to radiate through her skin and down to her bones, she wanted to lean into that touch.

 God, she was touch deprived. 

He had done a good job in making her panties damp and it felt almost embarrassing that a little bit of heavy petting and kissing on the neck had her pussy throbbing, but she couldn’t exactly deny it. Lightly rubbing herself against him again to get more of the friction her body was demanding, she closed her eyes and let her head lean back before she admitted it to him. “You’re making me wet.”

His whole body seemed to tense up at her whispered admission, his hands flexing on her as he took a breath. "You are?" He whispered back, his voice not able to contain his surprise. He had hoped he was doing something right- especially after all the apparent failures he’d had- but hearing that she was wet from just his touch and kisses was... something else. He wasn't used to being this effective. His ego swelled slightly, making him bolder. "Can I... touch more?" He asked hesitantly, his fingers inching higher up her thighs. "Can I feel what I’m doing to you?"

His words had her gritting his teeth. Where the fuck did that come from, and why did it made her throb? Letting out a breath through her nose, she opened her eyes to look at him. It shocked her a little, seeing his lips swollen and eyes a little hazy, glasses a tiny bit crooked. He looked disheveled in a way he usually didn’t. Of course he had always been hot but this look in particular, knowing it was caused by her specifically? It fueled her ego too. 

“Y-Yeah.” She nodded, clearing her throat. “Yeah, you can. That’s what I’d tell you to do next. You have good instincts.” It was a mystery to her how Harry, who was good at almost everything, had struggled to make a girl cum- but she was the teacher now. “You can slip your hand into the waistband.”

"Fuck. Thank you." Harry muttered under his breath. He couldn't believe he was actually about to touch Y/N intimately, after all these years of being just friends… It was insane. He wasn’t unable to see how insanely fucking hot she was, that had never been an issue. He’d had a few questionable wet dreams about her- but the actual idea of ever touching her hadn’t come up until recently, and he was liking it a bit more than he probably should be for a lesson.

 With trembling fingers, he slowly slipped one large hand down the front of her joggers, sliding it along her stomach until he reached the top of her panties. "Can... can I? Under them?" His breath was warm against her neck as he asked permission, albeit a bit jumbled, waiting for her nod before slowly slipping under the final piece of fabric that kept him from her most intimate place.

At her nod, he released a deep breath through his nose. His heart was racing as he slowly pushed his hand under her panties, the back of his fingers brushing against the soft, damp fabric. He could feel the heat emanating from between her legs, his own body responded accordingly. His cock was pulsing in his briefs, surely starting to make a bit of a mess. "Holy shit." Harry breathed, his voice shaking slightly as he explored her with his hand. His fingers dipped lower, feeling the slickness coating her folds. “You really are fucking soaked.” Tilting his head up with an awed smile, he met her eyes. “I did that t’you?”

“Mhm.” It felt slightly harder to breathe as she looked at his eyes, seeing the pride in his face, feeling his fingers cupping her wet pussy and giving a little squeeze. It had her inhaling sharply, fingers on his shoulder digging into his shirt. “You did. I- I want you to show me what you do when you get to this stage with the girls you hook up with.” It was taking everything in her not to rock against his hand, staying still as she tried to ground herself.

His fingers trembled slightly as he tried to mimic what he thought he had seen in porn or heard from his friends. He had forgotten what to do. Another symptom of his damn nerves taking over. He roughly spread her lips apart, his thumb pressing against her clit as his middle finger pushed inside her soaked pussy. "Shit... I'm... I'm not really sure what to do..." He admitted, his voice shaking as he started to rub her clit in slightly sporadic circles while thrusting his finger inside her. It was clumsy and a bit rough, but he was trying his best.

“Okay- alright. Stop.” Making sure to keep her voice soft and not like she was scolding him, she held his face in her hands. “You’re jumping right into it a bit too fast, Honey.” The nickname fell from her lips a bit too easily but she decided to ignore that. “You need to ease into it. Find a rhythm. Pull your fingers out.” She instructed, gently stroking over his cheekbone. It was obvious he was embarrassed from his flushed cheeks, and she didn’t want that. He wasn’t doing too badly, but he’d asked for a lesson. That’s what she was going to give him.

 “Hey… Look at me.” Tilting his chin up, she gave him a soft smile. “S’okay, Har. You came to me for help. I’m gonna help you. You didn’t do anything inherently wrong.” Still, she could see he felt some type of way about it, and she knew he needed a bit more comforting. Leaning in, her lips pressed against his in a soft peck. It was more intimate than it should have been, but she was again, going to ignore that. “Hi.” Smoothing the skin under his eye, she gave him a giggle. “Okay, so… You’ve got incredible hands. They’re so nice… and I know you can be good with them. So let’s start slow, okay? Do slow circles over my clit with your thumb. Nice n’gentle.”

His shoulders had dropped slightly after her small kiss, ignoring the flutter he’d felt in his chest from it. He hadn't realized how tense he had gotten, like he had failed the test- but this was Y/N. Y/N was safe, she was kind despite how blunt she was, and she was helping him. There was no evidence of her making fun of him in her tone, simply sweet. Unusual, maybe, but it seemed like she knew what she needed. 

"Okay." He mumbled softly, his cheeks slightly less red. Her compliments helped a bit- He had always had confidence issues when it came to this. "Like this?" He asked shyly, his large thumb slowly making small, loose circles over her clit. He was careful to keep his touch gentle like she asked, watching her face for any signs that he was doing it wrong again.

He felt her body tense pleasantly at his touch, a soft exhale escaping her lips. Encouraged by her response, he maintained the slow circles, his thumb brushing over her clit with deliberate gentleness. Her hips gave a tiny involuntary roll against his hand, seeking more of the pleasant friction. Harry's fingers twitched slightly, wanting to increase his pace but remembering her instruction. He resisted the urge, keeping the rhythm maddeningly slow.

“Yeah. That’s so nice.” She whispered. It was experimenting, letting him explore and get the hang of it. “Every woman is different. Some people will want it faster, some will want it rougher, but I like this to start.” She admitted, leaning into him. “Here.” Dragging the cropped top off of her body, she exposed the lacy bralette she had heard good reviews for to him. It was quite nice, holding her tits up in a way she hasn’t expected- but she’d chosen correctly today, unknowing that a man would be able to see it firsthand. “When you’re doing this, you keep kissing her. Licking. Sucking her nipples, if she’s into it.”

His eyes roamed over her bralette-clad breasts, the delicate lace contrasting with her soft, smooth skin. He felt his mouth watering, the urge to taste her growing stronger as he watched them move as she breathed- but thankfully, thank god, she had given the go ahead to touch. To taste. "Okay. I definitely can do that." He murmured, his thumb continuing its slow circles on her clit as he leaned in to press open-mouthed kisses to her collarbone.

His lips trailed lower, his kisses growing more intentional. The lace of her bralette tickled his lips as he worked his way down. He could see her nipples hardening beneath the fabric, making his mouth water. His thumb continued its steady, slow rhythm on her clit, causing her to shift slightly in his lap. It was surreal to feel her breathing, hear it so close up as he kissed over her pounding heart. 

He was doing this to her. Harry was making her wet, making her squirm. The confidence the breathy moan she let out had him pushing for more. With one hand, he gently pushed the lace down to expose one breast fully, making her gasp softly. His lips immediately found her hard nipple, surrounding it completely and sucking gently.

“Oh, Jesus.” The words were pathetically, a mewl that came from the back of her throat as his hot tongue lapped over her swollen nipple. The suction was light, soft, just like his thumb on her clit- and it was enough to make her feel like she was going insane. “T-That’s really fucking nice.” She praised, raising her hand to card it through his fluffy curls. He must have just washed them, they always looked pretty when he did.

Hearing her moan like that, praising him so freely, sent a jolt straight to his cock. He hummed around her nipple, the vibrations deliberate this time. His tongue flicked over the hardened bud before he switched to sucking harder, desperate to elicit another gorgeous noise from her.

“Yeah- like that.” Rocking her hips slightly into his hand, she pulled his head closed onto her breast. It felt too good, too hot to stop. Yeah, this was a lesson, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy teaching him. “Some girls won’t get much enjoyment out of this. Their nipples aren’t sensitive to it as much. If they aren’t responsive, you can keep it moving- or a-ask them if they want you to keep going.” Her voice was higher in pitch than she had meant for it to be but it wasn’t possible for her to control that right now. “I really like it, though. So it’s doing the job. You can rub my clit a little harder- give it more pressure.”

Her words had him nearly purring around her nipple. The little thrill went up his spine as her hips rolled into his hand, knowing that now he had a decent idea of what he was doing and could feel less nervous about it. Listening to instructions like he had promised he would, Harry added more pressure to his thumb, rubbing it harder over her little bundle of nerves. It was impossible not to feel her getting slicker against his palm, her breast filled his mouth perfectly, his tongue swirling around the peak before sucking it back between his lips. Almost overstimulation for his mind, but he wanted to keep going. He was trying his best to be good with his hands- he really was- But damn. Her body was so responsive.

Y/N wanted to continue this as long as she could. She wanted to feel him get more and more confident with it, but he seemed to have a grasp on it. There would probably be… a few times where they’d get to do this, and if she was honest? If they kept this up, she was going to cum and be too sensitive for his mouth. And by the way he kissed? She wanted to feel his mouth. 

“Mmmm.. Har, Honey.” She whispered, gently tugging his mouth off of her tits with a gentle tug of his hair. “Hi. Hello.” It was stupidly cute, the slightly lost look on his face. “S’okay. You were doing good. A bit too good actually. I just think that we should get to teaching you how to eat pussy. I’ll cum if you keep going.”

He blinked rapidly, a slightly dazed look on his face as he tried to process why he’d been pulled away when he’d obviously been making her feel good. It felt incredible to have her nipple in his mouth, hearing her soft noises of pleasure. The haze of lust in his mind slowly cleared at her words, realizing she was probably right, even if he selfishly wanted to keep going. "Oh..." He murmured softly, a slight blush spreading across his cheeks. "Right. Okay." He adjusted his glasses, trying to regain some semblance of focus.

“Good.” She stroked his hair back with a tender smile, pulling him to kiss her again before taking a look at his face. “I’m gonna lay back, like this.” Sliding off his lap, Y/N settled against the arm of the couch pulling a pillow to rest her head on. The position had her sitting up slightly, but gave a more relaxed vision. Hopefully that would have him feeling calmer. “And you’re gonna lay between my legs once I get these off.” Her bottoms needed to get off immediately. 

When he sat back, she tugged on the waistband and squirmed to get them off, haphazardly kicking them to the floor- along with her panties. There wasn’t much hesitance in showing her body to him. Y/N liked her body, she felt proud of it, and she embraced it. There was always those nerves though, being intimate with someone new- even if it was for a lesson. Spreading her thighs, she placed a hand over her cunt and motioned for him to lay down. “Do you remember what I said, Honey? About teasing?”

He nodded slowly, trying to remember all the instructions she had given him. "Tease first..." He murmured softly, adjusting his glasses nervously as he positioned himself between her thighs. Using his elbows to keep him up a bit, he swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched her spread them wider for his body to fit between. "Kiss, lick, don't go straight for the... the main event?" He asked hesitantly, his hands resting on her inner thighs.

“Very good.” Her face lit up as he looked at her for reassurance. “It’s the little things that get me. You know? The soft brushing of fingers on the thighs, the stomach, right above my pussy…” She trailed off with a sigh. “Kiss my thighs, Har. Can you do that for me?” Taking her hand off her cunt, she properly revealed it for the first time for his eyes to see.

Harry felt the breath catch in his throat as the sight of her bare pussy caught him off guard. It wasn’t lost on him that he was very lucky to be able to experience this. Y/N was beautiful and he adored her, but there was a new appreciation in him for how kind she was being. This wasn’t something you could just ask anyone. "Fuck..." He whispered, his hands squeezing her inner thighs gently as he leaned down to press a soft kiss to the delicate skin. "Like this?" He murmured, pressing open-mouthed kisses along her sensitive skin, his lips brushing over the crease where her leg met her hip.

“Mhm.” 

He could see her body relax into the touch, her thighs parting a bit more to give him better access. Her skin was so soft and warm under his lips, and he could smell her scent growing stronger the closer he got to her center. Harry took his time, pressing gentle kisses along her inner thighs, his hands brushing along the skin in a featherlight touch. He could hear her breathing growing a bit shallower, her chest rising and falling a bit faster. It emboldened him to continue, to keep teasing her like she had told him to.

"You're... you're doing so good." Y/N breathed out, one hand coming to rest in his hair as she spread her legs wider, hooking one over his shoulder. She could feel herself growing wetter with each kiss, more aroused knowing he was taking his time to learn her body. Such a good little student. "Lower. Just a bit..." she whispered, guiding his head with gentle fingers. Her other hand drifted down to her breast, plucking at her nipple as she watched him between her legs. "Kiss right above my cunt.”

Eagerly following her guidance, he moved up to press a soft kiss just above her pussy, his lips brushing against her soft curls. He could feel the heat radiating off of her, smell her arousal. It was intoxicating, and he found himself nuzzling into her a bit, his nose pressing against her. "Fuck, you smell so good..." he murmured, his voice muffled against her skin. He pressed another kiss right at the top of her slit.

“Oh fuck- that was good.” She gasped in surprise. “That’s filthy. Rubbing yourself against me but… it’s so hot. Showing how eager you are to make the person you’re gonna pleasure, it’s really sexy.” Brushing his hair out of his face, she felt the heat of his breath over her cunt. “Tell me you want to eat me out. Talk to me.”

"I do..." His voice came out huskier than he'd planned, his eyes flicking up to meet hers briefly before focusing back on her exposed pussy. "Fuck, Y/N... I really want t’taste you." Without waiting for further instruction, he used his fingers to spread her open for him and pressed a gentle kiss directly to her clit, making her gasp loudly. "You're so fucking wet… Can’t believe I did this." His finger traced down her slit slowly, as if showing instead of telling how aroused she was.

"Your cunt is fucking glistening. I can already tell your pussy is sweet..." He muttered against her skin, his tongue peeking out to give her one soft lick. Tasting her for the first time, savoring the flavor on his tongue, he was proving that fact. She was perfect to taste- a pussy like this deserved the best of the best, and he wanted her to show him exactly what she liked. Y/N moaned loudly, her hips rolling slightly, a clear indication that she liked what he was doing. "Yeah? You like that? S’good for you?" Harry asked, his voice encouraging as he licked her again, this time a bit slower, applying a bit more pressure.

“Uh-huh… Shit.” She cussed, feeling his tongue swipe up and over her clit. “D-Do what you want. Let me see where it’s going wrong because right now from my perspective, you’re doing perfectly.” Why would he even need help? Was it a ploy to fuck her? That was doubtful considering Harry really, really wasn’t like that. The worst part was that she was liking it a lot more than she was supposed to. If she was training him on how to pleasure how she liked it, it was going to be hard not to lose it.

Harry smiled slightly at her words, feeling a bit more confident in his actions. He started slowly, his tongue flicking out to lap at her gently, his fingers keeping her open for him to fully access her. He could feel her wetness spread onto his chin, and he couldn't help but push himself, wrapping his lips around her clit and sucking softly. He looked up at her, checking her face for any signs of discomfort or pleasure.

He was learning, trying to remember how she had said she liked it. His tongue swiped up again, swirling around her entrance slowly before pushing inside slightly. "Like this?" He mumbled softly, his chin wet with her juices. He kept his movements slow and unhurried, his touch soft. He was tentative, like he was scared of messing up. "Is this good?"

“I.. Normally would say that’s a bit fast to push your tongue in but fuck, that felt nice.” She giggled breathlessly. “Here…” Her fingers were careful as she took his glasses off and tossed them further down the couch so they wouldn’t get in the way- or worse, crushed. “Wanted to see those pretty eyes.” Her fingers kept the hair out of his eyes as she felt a few kisses over her mound, in the thatch of curls above her cunt. His face was slightly wet, but it was erotic. “That feels so nice. The kisses…” She hummed. “You have the instincts. Don’t think too much about it. Doing things like that- That’s good. Just make me feel good. See what I respond to.”

Harry blinked owlishly at her, surprised by the sudden loss of his glasses but pleased when he realized she liked his eyes. His face flushed slightly at the praise, his tongue darting out to lick over her clit hesitantly. "Okay. You’ll tell me if y’don’t like it, yeah?" He asked, his breath ghosting over her sensitive flesh. He leaned in, pressing open-mouthed kisses to her pussy, the sound drowning out the tv playing at a lowered volume.

She nodded slowly, watching him between her thighs. He was almost shy like this, his face buried in her pussy as he kissed around it sweetly. His lips were soft, his kisses unhurried. He spread her wider with his thumbs, his tongue poking out to give her one slow lick from bottom to top. Her hips shifted slightly, chasing the feeling.  "You taste so good." He mumbled softly, his voice sending vibrations against her. “I didn’t expect you t’get so wet for me. Soaking my chin. I love it.”

His words seemed to have struck a chord in her, judging by how sharply her breath hitched and her legs involuntarily tried to press around his head. She visibly flustered, clearly flattered by his filthy compliments- and shocked. Had he always had that in him? "Harry..." She whimpered, the sound of his wet mouth against her flesh combined with his sweet, dirty words making her pulse against his tongue. "You... should be careful with that mouth." She whispered, her hand tangling in his hair again, guiding him slightly without putting any pressure.

He chuckled softly, the vibrations traveling pleasantly through her core. "Why's that?" He murmured teasingly against her skin, his tongue darting out for another long, slow lick. He could feel her practically melting under his mouth, her thighs quivering slightly. This was how it was supposed to be. Maybe it was because he didn’t feel as anxious with her, they had repor, he truly trusted her- but it felt like he had a better sense of her body and what she liked. 

She’d given him clues and tips, but he was finding out on his own what she liked. It was something he was enjoying the longer he did it, feeling more eager to bury his face in her pretty pussy and never leave. Especially when he felt her hand tighten in his hair and her body shift to get more. "Worried I might make you cum too hard?" His tone was playful, a little more confident now, and that was dangerous for her. Feeling him nipp gently at her clit, soothing it with a flicker of his tongue immediately after was enough proof of that. Looking up at her he tried to see if that was okay, but the noise she let out had him feeling fairly sure it was.

"Fuck, Harry... You smartass.” The giggle turned into a pitched moan very quickly after though, her back arching as he sucked on her clit in retaliation, her hips rolling against his mouth. Harry could feel her getting closer, her pussy getting wetter. He knew the signs, she was teaching him. His hands gripped her hips tightly, holding her in place as he licked into her eagerly. She was so responsive, her body reacting to his every move. He felt powerful, in control- and it was a heady feeling.

"Jesus, your pussy is perfect." He mumbled between kisses, not caring if she could hear him. He could see her getting close- her thighs trembling, her breathing quickening, and the way her fingers were now tight in his hair. That was his goal. He wanted to make her cum so fucking bad it hurt. His cock was a mess in his trousers but he didn’t care. All he wanted was to make her cum, hard. He wanted to clean it up as he made himself messy. "Do you want my fingers inside you?" He whispered, not missing a beat with his mouth returning to his suckling. He kept the pace steady but increased the pressure just slightly, wanting to hear her response.

"Yes..." Y/N  breathed out the single word, squirming helplessly against his face. His mouth felt incredible and he obviously felt better about what he was doing now, taking more risks that only worked out in her favor. "So good, honey. You’re doing so good, your mouth is perfect." 

How had he been bad with these other women? All it took was a little bit of instruction with a soft voice and he was licking into her like she was his last fucking meal. 

She gasped, her nails nearly digging into his scalp as he slipped one finger inside her easily. "Your fingers are so big. Holy shit..." She panted, grinding down on his hand. "More..." She begged, knowing damn well she hadn’t wanted to be this needy for it but god damn. He was a good student. A very fast learner. "Please." The woman’s voice cracked with need. "Harry, please..."

He curled his fingers slightly inside her, hitting that spot he’d read about but had never actually found on a woman before. He must be doing it right, because she was practically sobbing his name, her hips bucking against his hand. He added another finger, stretching her slowly but surely, his tongue never stopping its slow, deliberate lapping. 

It was obvious what she liked, what made her feel good, and he wanted to keep doing it. Memorize it so he knew how to do it perfectly next time- or continue practicing until he had it down. His head felt fuzzy with the need to get her there, to make her feel hot under the skin like he had been clueless about before. "Look at me." he mumbled against her, his voice muffled but insistent. He wanted to see her face contort with pleasure, wanted to watch her get closer.

It felt like her entire world had narrowed down to his fingers inside her and his tongue on her clit. It really had been far too long since she’d been touched and even longer since she had been eaten out with this amount of vigor. Maybe it hadn’t ever happened prior to him, but her brain wasn’t fully working. She was so close, teetering on the edge and he just... he just kept pushing her. Adding more, curling just right, licking and sucking in a rhythm that seemed designed to drive her insane. 

Y/‘ couldn’t see him fully, not with his face buried smugly between her thighs, but she managed to lift her head, her eyes finding his own as he had demanded. The intensity in his gaze, the desperate need, it was too much. “Just like that, you’re going t’make me cum. Just like that, keep it like that- fuck.” Her groan seemed angry but it was anything but. She was worked over and sulking at how good it felt. “Shit, you love eating pussy. Don’t you, Harry? Just needed s-someone to show you how they like it.”

"Fuck yeah." He breathed against her, his eyelids drooping with pleasure at her accusation. He loved this, every fucking second. The slick sounds of her arousal, the way her pussy clenched around his fingers, the taste, how she grabbed at his hair, the sounds she made, the changes in her breathing, her squirming, the way her words slurred a little bit, the pulsing against his tongue. 

God. Harry fucking loved it- he just didn’t know it could be this good. Addicting.

The vibrations as he groaned happily between her lips had to be adding something extra. "Knew I'd love it. Jus’ want to be able to make you feel good."

"Cum on my face baby, okay? Just let go. I wanna taste you." He whispered hoarsely, pressing a sloppy kiss to her clit before sucking it back into his mouth. His fingers curled again and again inside her, hitting that elusive spot over and over as she dripped all over his fingers and down the back of his hand. He wanted to make her shatter, wanted to feel her cum all over his face and fingers like he had been working toward.

There was no way she could even respond properly. The constant stimulation to her g-spot, his repeated sucking on her clit, the way he sloppily ate her cunt with little regard of the mess she was making on his face- the only thing he seemed to give a fuck about was making her cum. Who was she to take that from him?

 Her body tensed, her back arching as she let out a long, drawn-out moan. It was a sound of pure pleasure, her entire being focused on the overwhelming sensation of him working her over. She came hard, her pussy clamping down on his fingers as she gushed all over his face and hand. Her hand was tight in his locks, tugging as a garbled moan left her mouth and she attempted to writhe. He kept her held still as he moaned loudly against her.

In fact, Harry didn’t stop. Even as she came, he kept eating her, his fingers still curled inside her as he lapped up her cum, cleaning her up. He was fucking starving for it, for the taste and the sound and the feeling of her losing control. He sucked and licked her pussy, feeling it spasming occasionally, until he was certain he had cleaned up every last drop- And her weak push of her hand against his head. Only then did he slowly pull his fingers out, his face and hand coated in her.

She was a goddess, slumped back against the cushions with a flushed, dazed expression. Harry couldn't help but kiss her inner thigh as it twitched before wiping his mouth. "Fuck, you’re amazing." The man murmured. Crawling up her body, he claimed her lips in a messy kiss, letting her taste herself. “Thank you.” It was mumbled between lazy kisses. “Thank you, Thank you.”

His hands roamed over her as he continued to kiss her sloppily, his body heavy on top of hers. He was still fully dressed, his erection painfully trapped in his pants. "Y/N... I’m sorry, but can I?" He asked softly, his fingers already working at the button of his jeans, his intent clear. "I gotta cum. Can I cum on your cunt? Please?” If he wasn’t so horny he would be embarrassed for doing this, but he was losing it. When it died down, he would definitely be embarrassed for how insane he sounded, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe the lack of blood flow to the head, it was going directly to the other.

“Shit.” Y/N laughed weakly, her body feeling like pins and needles as it came down from the orgasm. The idea was one she had considered, especially with how good he had listened- a reward. “Yeah, Honey. As a reward.” She sighed, leaning her head up further. “I wanna watch.”

He almost whined at her words, practically tearing his jeans open wide enough to pull out his stiff cock. He pushed his pants down towards his calves, staying there between her spread legs. His hand gripped his dick tightly, squeezing as he looked up at her face from his spot between her legs. "Yeah- yeah, please watch. I love being watched.” His hips moved forward unconsciously as he ran his cock over her, the head of his dick smearing pre-cum all over her cunt.

“Cute little exhibitionist.” Y/N cooed, running her hand over her stomach. “Go ahead. You’ve got such a pretty cock, but it looks like it hurts.” Her lips formed a soft pout. “Stroke yourself and cum all over that pussy, Harry.”

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He chanted under his breath, his hand moving faster over his shaft. With his tip pressing against her clit, he ran it up and down her slit. "You're so pretty. Your cunt is beautiful- all of you, so fucking gorgeous." He complimented her, his words coming out in short gasps. It was so hot, the way her lips spread around him, how she looked all fucked out and messy from his mouth. "I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum all over you, baby."

Y/N looked up at him with a soft, encouraging smile, her eyes staring into his with that tinge of desire. "Cum for me, Harry. Cum all over my pretty little pussy. I wanna see it, I wanna see you lose it." Her hand moved down to spread herself, holding herself open for him. "You've been so good, so obedient. You deserve it. Such a good student, a fast learner… You can have it. Cum on my cunt." Her voice was gentle but commanding, the perfect blend of sweet and dirty that had him right on the edge.

"Fuck, Y/N..." Harry whimpered, his eyes fluttering shut as her words pushed him over the edge. With a final thrust of his hips, he came undone. He felt the first spurt of his hot, sticky cum hit her pussy lips, coating them in his release. He groaned loudly, his body shuddering as he pumped out rope after rope of cum, covering her cunt completely. "Oh my god... Oh my god."

Even as he finished cumming, a few last spurts dribbling out to make a mess across her lower stomach, he couldn't look away from where his cum coated her pussy lips, right in her thatch curls and the surrounding skin. It was obscene, filthy, and he loved it. Y/N had made him lose his mind a bit, but he didn’t really want to find it.

Breathing heavily, he finally met her gaze with a slightly embarrassed but mostly pleased grin. "Holy fuck, that was hot." He murmured, swallowing hard. "Never done that before. Came so fucking hard..."

"Good, cause you made a mess." She giggled, watching him as his chest heaved. The sight of his stomach and abs glistened with a light sheen of sweat- his hair was ruffled and he looked like he’d had a workout instead of jerking off on her body. "You like that, I think. Making a mess." She asked softly, watching as he continued to stroke himself slowly, milking himself. Her eyes were drawn back to his dick. It really was beautiful- and really fucking big. “Where the hell were you hiding that? God damn.”

He couldn't help but chuckle at her comment, glancing down at his slowly softening dick with a smirk. "Guess I just needed the right inspiration, huh?" He teased lightly, finally releasing his grip on himself and leaning forward to rest his forearms on either side of her head, caging her in slightly. His face was mere inches from hers now, his glasses gone and his hair disheveled in the sexiest way possible. “Just need t’do this before we clean up and act normal again. Don’t yell at me.”

His mouth claimed hers slowly, lips moving softly against hers. He licked into her mouth slowly, like he was savoring her taste, his body half covering hers. His hand cupped her cheek as he deepened the kiss slowly, like he was trying to imprint himself onto her. Just as quick as it started though, it was over. She shouldn’t have been so sad about that. He pulled back slowly, his forehead resting against hers. His eyes opened slowly to find her watching him softly, their lips still wet and swollen from the kiss. He grinned slightly, licking his lips again. “See? Not so bad.”

“Yeah.” She laughed, feeling dazed. Who the fuck was this? And why did he kiss so good it made her toes curl? Who was this and what had they done to her best friend? “I think your problem isn’t that you don’t have skill. Naturally you seem to get it. I think you’ve just gotten into your own head and you think too much.” She had been a safe person and it was easier for him to lose that anxiety with her, knowing she had already agreed to teach him. 

“It can be hard to perform if you’re not able to properly get into it. Your dick can be hard as nails, but your mind not being in it will be a mood killer and they’re gonna know.” The smile on her face was slightly sad but she knew it was what he had to hear. “Because honestly? I haven’t orgasmed like that in ages. All it took was a few tweaks and you had it down. Maybe you just aren’t a hookup guy. Did that feel a lot different than the other people?” Maybe he needed someone who could openly communicate. The expectation of someone just knowing wasn’t always fair. 

"Yeah." He hesitated, shifting slightly to prop himself up on one elbow next to her. His other hand traced patterns on her stomach absentmindedly. "It was... different." He seemed to struggle with the words for a moment. "With those other girls, I was always nervous. Overthinking every single fucking thing. Like you said." He glanced at her face, a slight blush forming across his cheeks. "With you... it felt natural. Real. And fuck, listening to you moan like that… Where did those lungs come from?"

“You freak!” She laughed, pushing his shoulder to get him to sit up. Adjusting her bralette back over her breasts she didn’t bother with the bottoms yet, because she really needed to go clean up. Secretly she was pleased that she had been different. It was so cliche to say it, but she wanted to be different than them. She just… wasn’t quite sure why yet. Her brain hadn’t come back down to earth fully and she couldn’t be bothered to truly question it. “You won’t need many lessons on how to pleasure a woman with results like that, I’m telling you that. Good job.” Reaching out, she squished his cheeks with a soft coo before he shot her a look.

"Oi!" He laughed, swatting her hand away playfully but with a big smile on his face. "Don't treat me like a puppy. And..." He hesitated, reaching up to cup her face gently, his thumb brushing her lower lip. "Did it really feel that good? I mean." His voice dropped to a slightly embarrassed whisper. "Am I actually good at this stuff?" For someone who had just made her orgasm so hard, he suddenly seemed insecure again. Like he needed validation. "I know you don’t lie like that, but it just feels weird. Cause everyone else seemed disappointed… I thought I’d be completely awful.”

“Oh, H.” She frowned at his vulnerability. “It was really good for me. I think maybe you just need some lessons on how to let go and relax when you’re being intimate. And I’m happy to teach you that.” Brushing her hand over his stubble she gave his chin a pinch. “Trust me. I’d tell you if you needed a lot of work. It can be hard for women to cum from oral sometimes too. It’s hit or miss for me, and you had me cumming so easily so, I would say it was probably a mix of feeling safe and you having some good natural instincts you couldn’t tap into before because you were anxious and your brain was in overdrive.” Pulling him into a hug, she squeezed him lightly as she inhaled his scent. He smelled like mint and sex, with a tinge of laundry detergent. Appropriate. 

“When I’m done with you, we’ll have it all squared away and figured out. Okay? Don’t think about those times. Think about the fact you’re gonna get to fuck your really hot best friend.” Standing up from the couch with a laugh and a pat to his head, she walked to the bathroom to get herself clean- and take a minute to breathe. Her chest was doing a weird thing it hadn’t before and she didn’t want to think about it. “Hey, can you order something from that cookie place to be delivered while I shower please? Use my phone, my card is already in the app. Thank youuuu.”

He watched her leave, a small smile on his face at her words. It was a relief to hear that he wasn't completely incompetent. Flopping back against the cushions, he stared at her ceiling fan as it whirred around with a content sigh. 

As requested, he ordered a batch of her favorite cookies from the nearby bakery, adding a special request for extra chocolate chips with a small chuckle. She had ordered quite a few times recently, so he had tried to replicate it while adding white choc macadamia for himself. A classic, even if Y/N would wrinkle her nose for them sharing a box.

After submitting it for the delivery, he found himself humming softly, a warmth spreading through his chest at the thought of learning more from her. That had been so good, he felt so relieved that he wasn’t defective- but he did have to wonder how he was going to be this comfortable with anyone else. Y/N was easy to unwind around. It was hard to imagine him getting as comfortable with anyone else in the way he was with her.

Getting closer to her in a vulnerable and intimate way was sure to grow their friendship. He couldn’t really see it backfiring. Their friendship was too strong.

 Right?

[poisonofthepaint]

Day After Tomorrow

read part two here!

a/n: hi! this is my first time writing for abbot so i hope this is okay! hoping to make this a series, it was really fun to write this :-) and i would love to hear if u liked it!!

content warnings: none serious, age gap between abbot and reader, lots of dialogue, spiraling reader a tinsy bit, maybe ooc jack? definitely some wacked up medical school hoopla i made up to make it fit my abbot backstory headcanons, reader is a barista who's studying philosophy, this is their first meeting. i barely proofread this. enjoy!

It was early. Way too fucking early. You could not believe that your boss had bumped up the hours again. The shop opened at 4:00 now. Four in the morning. You couldn’t believe your eyes when you got the text. You had woken up at 2:50, the latest you could sleep in and also get to work at 3:30. Honestly, you think you’ll get used to it, but right now, in the transitional period? This felt like hell. Who even gets coffee at 4:00 A.M.? 

You regret the thought the second it enters your brain, because, of course, the bell goes off on the door to signal someone is walking in. 

“One second, sorry, getting my bearings,” you say, not bothering to look up at the first of many customers.

“That’s okay. You are open, yes?”  he says while walking to the ordering counter

The deep voice makes your eyes shoot up, and his attire makes them linger longer. He’s adorned in black scrubs, a gray t-shirt peeking out from beneath them. You draw your eyes away quickly, probably not quick enough for him to not notice you were staring, but again, it’s early, you’re just moving slow.  

“Yes, open, and– shit,” you mumble. “Shoot,” you correct yourself as if your boss is around to hear it. The stranger smiles and huffs out a laugh.

“Sorry, this drawer is a pain in the morning, it never wants to unlock itself. Technology,” you say and shrug. You grab the physical key and unlock it, which has the computer registering you’re open. 

“I get it, I prefer to do things the old fashioned way.” he says. You shoot him a look. “I just mean, no technology.” he shakes his head, and pulls a hand down his face.

“What can I get you…”you glance down at his badge, “Jack.” A smile finally warms on your face, and it brings a small one to his too. 

“Just a small hot coffee, nothing in it.”

“Easy enough,” you turn around to the machine and start pouring the fresh coffee into a cup. “Starting or ending your shift?” you ask.

“I’m almost done, few more hours, just needed something better than whatever the hell they serve in the cafeteria.”

You nod your head, and put a lid on the coffee. “Well consider this a courtesy, on the house.”

He looks shocked, and… a little bit offended? You can’t tell. Honestly, he’s pretty mysterious. You feel like you can read him, but maybe you can’t? 

“I don’t mind paying.” he says, pulling out some cash from his wallet.

“I’m sure you’re good for it,” you push away the cash in his hand, softly grazing his knuckles, “But, I’m really trying to prove a point to my boss that no one comes in this early. You’re kind of putting a fork in my master plan.”

  He laughs, a genuine laugh. You smile, again. You want to impress him, but you’re unsure why. Maybe it's kind of like a kinship thing. Like, hey, I’m up this early too. I see you, we’ve got the night covered while almost everyone else sleeps.

“Oh, I see. You don’t want to be up this early.” Jack’s back to, what you assume is his normal, stoic, expression. You didn’t even notice he stopped laughing

“Do you like the night shift?” you ask. You don’t deny his claim. Who wants to be up this early to work?

“I do, yeah, I do.” Jack does, apparently.

“Is it quieter?”

“Is it ever quiet?”

He stares at you. You open and close your mouth– look around the empty cafe. “I mean, here? Yeah. in a hospital? I’m gonna go with no.”

He nods his head slowly, and looks down. He doesn’t leave, though. Even though the transaction is over. He needs someone to talk to, you realize. Someone who isn’t dying, and someone who doesn’t know what the hell is going on in a hospital at 4:00 A.M. He doesn’t pick his head up, fiddling with the stopper you put in the lid of the coffee.

“Well, I hope that coffee doesn’t make your hands shake, I don’t want to be implicated.” That gets his eyes to meet yours. He looks like he forgot he was still standing there. “You’re free to stay however long you need, say the line was long, or, whatever. I am gonna set some more stuff up but, feel free to hang out. It’s kind of nice having someone to talk to.” You turn the blame on yourself; make him feel like he’s treating you instead.

You’ve always been kind of attuned to people’s emotional baggage. And a few years of customer service in a city has certainly bumped up that ability for you. People came and went, but you could remember who was hurting, and who needed the extra bedside manners that baristas could sometimes supply. You catch his eye while you make yourself a shift drink. A London fog today, with an extra tea bag, because you do need the caffeine.

“A barista who doesn’t drink coffee?” he says, gesturing with his cup.

“Oh, I drink a lot of coffee. But, I try to save those for when it gets busy. Right now, I’m okay with just tea. If I drink the coffee now, I’ll crash by the rush, and there won’t be time to make a drink. But if I drink it closer to the rush then…”

“Smart girl,” he says.

The comment makes your face feel hot. It’s your turn to put your head down, you polish the espresso machine in front of you instead of meeting his eyes. 

“Are you in school?” he asks.

“I am, I’m getting my Masters. Last semester,” you smile. 

“In what?” His bluntness is more attractive than you care to admit. It feels like an interrogation, but also like a first date. You wonder why he’s stayed this long.

“Philosophy,” you say as you exhale out.

“Plans after?” 

“I thought everyone knew they weren’t supposed to ask people that?”

He laughs, again. Two laughs from mysterious brooding Doctor Abbot. Three if you count the tiny one. You want to go for four. You want to go for sixty.

“I guess it’s easy for Med School students. Very clear plan there.”

“Very clear. But I took a work around.”

“Oh yeah?”

He gets a small smirk on his lips, “Yeah, I served, and was a medic out there.” Your face drops, everything you think you know about anything leaves your brain, you have another stupid 4 A.M. thought and think maybe you should salute. Luckily, you don’t.

“That always stumps people. But, I loved what I did so much I did an expedited Med School program to get me in as an ER doctor.”

“So, here you are now.” you regain your thinking.

“Here I am,” he says. “Hey, are you here alone?”

“You should know there’s cameras everywhere.”

“Whoa, whoa,” he says, understanding your joke. Another laugh, that makes four. “I just wondered.”

“No, I’m not. There’s other people in the back doing, what needs done in the back.” You say, not wanting to bore an ER Doctor with what goes on at a coffee shop.

“Good, you shouldn’t be here alone.” 

“You worried about me, Doc?” 

The nickname, and question, sends him for a loop, that he can’t hide. His gaze seems to change, and he stares at you with such intensity you have to look away for a second before you can look back. When you do, his eyes are still there. He clears his throat, does a little pace around the spot he was standing. He seems like he’s stalling. You peak over his shoulder at the analog clock. 4:30 A.M. Long coffee run for a doctor, he’s probably thinking so too. 

“Do you work this early every morning?” He asks with furrowed eyebrows.

  So, ignoring your question then. “Mostly, yes, but not tomorrow, thankfully.”

“But after that?” He asks with urgency.

“I’ll be here the day after tomorrow, yes.” You try to keep a cool demeanor, but his nonchalant nature is rubbing off on you. You’re starting to get antsy. You spin the ring on your pointer finger around to try to calm yourself.

“Okay, good. I’ll see you the day after tomorrow.” Like it’s nothing. Like it’s not a fucking second date type plan. Like he doesn’t even think of it.

“Okay, good.” You say, parroting him. He walks toward the door backwards, not breaking eye contact with you. He pushes it open with his shoulder, tossing the empty cup into the trash bin right next to the front door. He stands there for a second before leaving. And when he is forced to turn around from you, he shakes his head.

You’re off the rest of your shift. Everyone can tell. You’re not as fast, you’re making mistakes. You feel like you’re in a fucking dream. You can’t remember if he was even real. Jack Abbot. Jack Abbot. Jack Abbot.

You repeat the name until you feel like you’re gonna choke on it. Doctor Jack Abbot. You try to remember everything you said, and you try not to feel embarrassed by any of it. God, he caught you off guard. And it wasn’t fair! You could’ve handled it so much better if it wasn’t so, fucking, early. And he had hours of consciousness on you! When he came in, it had been, what, maybe an hour since you had woken up? 

And you really try not to think too much about it.  He said he’d come back, so it couldn’t have been too bad. But you like him, and you have never had a crush on a customer. It was a rule you had always followed. Anyone you thought was cute, you didn’t let yourself spiral about, you cut it in the bud. You didn’t want to have someone the whole staff knew suddenly disappear because you two went on a bad date.

But the staff didn’t know Jack! It was just you two, there wasn’t even a goddamn transaction on record! So of course you’re spiraling! And he’s a doctor, a good doctor, who obviously cares about his patients. You wanted to pry his brain open, have him teach you all the science knowledge you didn’t get from your Philosophy degree.  You wanted him. And all you had was a promise.

You do get yourself under control, about an hour before your shift ends. You didn’t let yourself google him. You didn’t let yourself think about him. You focused on your work, and honestly, it got so busy it did kind of get pushed to the back of your head. But he was lingering around. He was like a piece of sticky gum on your shoe. It was a promise that you would not let yourself be sad if it was broken. You will yourself to not spiral about a promise from this man you didn’t really know. Your whole life wasn’t going to be over if Dr. Jack Abbot didn’t come in promptly at 4 A.M. the day after tomorrow. 

He didn’t seem like the type to break a promise. You don’t know why he would have been so adamant about asking you when you work if he was lying. No, you’d see him again. You just had to be calm, and wait. Tomorrow was going to kill you, though. A day off with nothing to do but classes. You hoped the coursework would be interesting enough to distract you from him in your brain. For a brief moment, you wonder if you should change your thesis to applying different types of philosophy to ER Doctors. You couldn’t believe you were so caught up by a thirty minute conversation, but you were. There was no changing that. You just had to get to the day after tomorrow.

Yes, the day after tomorrow, maybe you’d get another thirty minutes.