#like fuck all yall im a goddamn catch

[naiadic]

Feeling Sad in this Valentines Day tonight

[psychoticwillgraham]

still shaking a good amount btw

[norrizzandpia]

The Video (LN4)

Summary: Y/n and Lando’s club dancing sends the F1 world into a frenzy.

Warnings: sexual innuendos, sexual conversations, its short im sorry, if you want something more to this storyline lmk in the requests ill prob do it lol

Note: IVE HAD THIS IDEA IN MY HEAD LONG BEFORE I EVEN STARTED WRITING

TWITTER

ln4andop81 how yall feeling after that leaked vid?

- mclarensgirly FIGHTING. FOR. MY. LIFE.

- f1fan2 if i speak.

- ln4andop81 what shall we address first.

- mclarensgirly maybe the GRINDING????

- f1fan2 PLZ I SCREAMED THE WAY HIS HANDS GUIDED HER HIPS 😫😫😫😫

- ln4andop81 THE WHISPERING IN THE EAR???

- mclarensgirly BRUH I JUST KNOW LANDO SAID SOMETHING SO GODDAMN QUESTIONABLE BY THE LOOK OF Y/N’S FACE

- f1fan2 bro literally moved his hands up to the bottom of her boobs and down and then whispered some crazed shit in her ear and i died. THE PERSON WHO FILMED THAT VIDEO I LOVE YOU 😋😋

- ln4andop81 yeah i think its safe to say that lando norizz is definitely a myth.

—

y/nnn so about last night.

Comments:

mclarensgirly ABOUT LAST NIGHT MY ASS

ln4andop81 girly had a whole video of her grinding on her bf leaked and her response is “about last night”. icon.

landonorris i had fun 😙

- mclarensgirly BYE

- ln4andop81 MANS IS INSANE

- f1fan2 so moral of the story lando basically fucked his gf in public and said “i had fun” NO SHIT

- mclaren dont think you understand the pr situation at hand 😀

- mclarensgirly NOW IM DONE FOR

- ln4andop81 MCLAREN ADMIN IS FIGHTING ON THE FRONT LINES RN

maxverstappen this is why i said to not drink too much

- y/nnn YOU PUT THE DRINKS IN. MY. HAND.

- landonorris i think your exact words were “next round on me?”

- kellypiquet i am afraid babe that you did in fact do and say both of those things

—

TWITTER

Mclarenfan22 its the way lando pushes y/ns hips into him so she can be as CLOSE as possible

- circledriving-racers plz when i first saw that vid i rlly didnt think by the end of it i would know what lando looked like when he was clearly feeling some type of way

- ln4andop81 yeah bc the way he threw his head back when she started circling her hips against his spoke VOLUMES

- papayafan it had ME feelin some typa way and i wasnt even the one getting danced on

- ln4andop81 i feel like its prob for the best the vid ended before we could see them separate bc i feel like we wouldve seen LANDO and not lando if yk what i mean 😟

- papayafan a bone-

- mclarenfan22 we would rlly know EVERYTHING abt him at that point

- ln4andop81 im willing to bet a large sum of money (im broke) that hes big

- y/nnn is this where im supposed to “enter the chat”?

- ln4andop81 MAAM.

- mclarensgirly YES. SPILL THE TEA.

- f1fan2 YEAH DO THE PUBLIC A SERVICE AND TELL US ‼️‼️‼️

- y/nnn i think i would like to gatekeep this one girlies 💋💋

-mclarensgirly wow.

- ln4andop81 ill never get over how it girl she is.

—

landonorris it was a great night and thats all i have to say abt it

Comments:

oscarpiastri UHHHHHHH

mclaren we cant catch a break ever

y/nnn BABE THE SIGN 😭😭

- landonorris i thought it really translated my thoughts 🙏🏻

- mclarensgirly BRO DOESNT GIVE A FUCK GAHDAMN

ln4andop81 so i guess the question rlly is: did the sign become reality?

- landonorris what do you think 🤭

[girlboybug]

writing request for a smut fic with established relationship with javi x reader? dialogue prompt: javi: “he looked at you funny” reader: “i didn’t know you were the jealous type..”

OOO i like this muahaha >:) i hope you enjoy hehe, thank u for requesting!! <3

art deco

"shining like gunmetal, cold and unsure. baby you're so ghetto, you're lookin' to score."

or the one where jealousy happens to be a good look on javi.

what’s playing 🎧 : art deco by lana del rey

content warnings : SMUT, jealous!javi, blowjobs, face fucking, car sex, semi public sex (?), unprotected sex (extremely unwise w javi idk wtf he got goin on down there), creampie, breeding kink, dirty talk, themes of slut shaming, threats of exhibitionism, threats of restraints e.g cuffs, brat tamer!javi (been dying to write that)

trigger warnings : mentions/threats of gun usage, alcohol, both reader and javier are tipsy at best, if there is anything i missed pls lmk!

word count : 4k

a/n : im pulling SO MUCH out my ass w this bc i havent finished narcos and only rlly pay attention when pedro or boyd is on screen and even tho im half mexican my ass cannot speak spanish for the life of me teehee sorry yall

you’re a bad actor. 

you’re also bad at lying and honestly, just generally bad at the things javier happens to be especially good at. 

but that’s okay, javier likes you like that. it’s refreshing, endearing, to be with someone who hasn’t gotten good at lying or pretending to be someone they’re not. and actually, he’s currently watching you fail at that right now. 

you’re at the bar, swirling around your drink that he bought for you, pretending to not notice the way he’s eyeing you from across the club. he thinks it's cute how you keep stealing glances at him, giggling to yourself whenever he catches you.

you two do this little song and dance every now and then, it keeps things exciting and fun, and you never have complaints about it. 

you pretend to be the single, bored girl sitting alone at the bar, and javier just so happens to swoop in, introducing himself as the man who’s been ordering drinks for you all night, ready to charm you into his bed for the night. it’s stupid when you say it out loud, but the way he fucks you when you do this little act makes it seem like the best goddamn idea he’s ever come up with.

it’s harmless fun between a couple, and the tension you two create throughout the night is always a recipe for mind blowing sex. however, it seems things are going a bit off script tonight. 

a man invites himself to the empty barstool beside you that was reserved for javier, but he’s oblivious to the little game you’re playing right now. “hi there,” he says, grinning, and you try your best to hold back a long sigh while you greet him back politely. 

javier’s hand tightens around the beer he’s got, wishing the neck of the bottle belonged to the man staring you down. he decides he’ll keep watch for awhile, he trusts you, and wants to see how this’ll play out, despite his patience already wearing dangerously thin.

“can i buy you another drink?” he asks, motioning towards the dwindling liquid in your glass. its not a difficult question, but the answer isn’t coming to you like it should be. 

you are playing the role of a single woman tonight, and you won’t let anything go further with this guy than receiving a free drink. 

eh. why not? 

“yeah, sure, thank you.” you smile back, and he hurriedly calls over the bartender, asking for two glasses of whatever it is you ordered. javier shifts in his seat, his jaw coming down harder than it was just a moment ago as he watches you share a drink with someone that isn’t him. 

javier follows his wandering eyes, how they trail up and down your figure, making it obvious he’s wondering what you’ve got on underneath.

javier wants to walk up to him to tell him how he knows what you’ve got under that dress, because he picked it out. 

god, this night fuckin’ sucks so far. 

“i noticed you for awhile now, what’re you doin’ here all alone?” he asks, and you get a little nervous with the way he gets closer to you. “i’m just waiting for my boyfriend to show up.” you answer, deciding the single woman role didn’t feel as fun anymore. 

“ahh, i see.” he replies, and you expect him to scoot farther from you, or better yet, leave. but much to your dismay, he stays. 

“it’s just,” he starts, and you glance down at your shoes, saying a silent prayer for him to get on with what he’s got to say before he leaves you alone for good. 

“you’ve been here for awhile now, you sure he’s comin’ honey?” he questions you, faux concern in his voice and you close your eyes for a moment to hide the way they roll at him.

“yeah, i’m sure.” you reply curtly. “how about i keep you some company while you wait for him then, how’s that sound?” he gets closer than you would’ve liked, boldly resting his arm around your shoulders, and yep, that’ll do it. 

javier’s beer clatters down onto his table as he shoots up from his seat, stalking over to you. he’s quick to join you, standing tall behind your seated figure, his strong chest a familiar surface against your back. 

“uh who’re you–” 

“her boyfriend.” he answers, eyes lowered testingly, practically itching for him to give him a reason to swing. “hi baby,” you beam, turning around and craning your neck up to give him a kiss. he leans down, holding your chin while he kisses you. 

with your lips still connected, he stares at the scoffing man that just sits and watches. 

“yeah well i wasn’t the one who kept her waiting all night so why don’t you get lost? we were havin’ a conversation, weren’t we sweetheart?” he looks at you as if you’d actually agree, and you open your mouth to defend javier, but he doesn’t need you to, he’s more than eager to put this guy back in his place. 

he steps away from behind your back, moving right in front of you now, leaning in close to the man. he reaches around to his lower back, sliding his gun to the side of his waist before he’s got it in his clutch, pressing it to the man’s ribs.

“you have 3 seconds to get the fuck out my face before i stop being so polite.” he whispers in his ear, and the man stiffens with immediate fear once he registers what’s being pointed at him. 

he swivels out of the stool, hastily hopping out to make his way out the club all together. javier turns back to you once he’s out of his field of vision, expecting a profuse thank you javi, but he gets quite the opposite. 

“what the hell was that?” you question, sounding angry, and uh oh, you saw that. 

“baby,” he starts off but you just huff, climbing off the stool. “that was way too far,” you point at him and he sighs, holding your arms, rubbing them up and down, trying to settle your irritation down. 

“but he was making you uncomfortable, and you didn’t see the way he was looking at you–” 

“and what way was he looking at me for you to pull a gun out on him?” you whisper yell and he starts to join you in your frustration. 

“he looked at you…funny, like he was just thinking about fucking you the entire time.” he sounds upset that he even has to explain himself to you about this, and you catch it, deciding to throw it back at him when you turn on your heel to leave. 

he growls with annoyance as he follows you out the club, grabbing your arm and forcing you to turn back and look at him.

you exhale sharply, looking up at him, switching your weight onto your left foot. “i knew you could be a little…impulsive sometimes but jesus jav, i didn’t realize you were the jealous type that would do something so…stupid.”

his annoyance is fast to turn into a hard glare, and you see the sudden shift, instantly feeling regretful. he purses his lips to the side, laughing dryly. “stupid huh?” he clicks his tongue and you shake your head, walking closer to him now.

“javi, i’m sorry,” you try to remedy the mess of this situation, but unlucky for you, what little patience he was holding onto is now gone. 

he grabs the hand of yours that’s reaching towards his jaw, he isn’t in the mood for it. he pulls you along by your wrist to the parking lot. 

“yeah, you’re about to be baby,” he mutters, and your heart picks up, your heel clad feet in turn picking up speed to keep up with him. 

he ushers you into his backseat, slamming the door behind you once you’re both in. he tugs you into his lap, your legs on either side of him, your knees making contact with the cold vinyl. his hands find their way to your ass, squeezing it hard.

you gasp a little, arching into his chest. the second you move in closer, his lips are on your’s. it’s not gentle, it’s not slow paced, and it’s not soft, no, that’s for when you’re good. and you’ve been anything but. 

you’re grinding in his lap, his growing bulge feels perfect right up against your dampening panty clad cunt, too perfect that you can’t stop yourself. you’re moaning in his mouth, struggling to keep up the pace and intensity in the way his lips are moving with your’s. 

he tastes like beer and cigarettes, smells like it too, with traces of his cologne that you love. he’s like paradise incarnate and you want to live in him forever. 

when he pulls away you're left panting in his hold, lips parted, brushing against each other, stealing the other person’s breaths. “you know,” he sighs lowly, his words trailing up your spine, leaving shivers in their wake. 

“just because i let you pretend you’re single for the night doesn’t mean you actually are,” he says, and he sounds serious, but there’s something hidden in his air, something challenging, like he wants you to argue just so he can put you right back where you belong. 

you nod heavily like he speaks words of righteousness, cupping his jaw in your hands. “i know javi, i know,” you pepper his face in kisses, but he remains still, outwardly unphased.

“guess you just got too excited at the thought of bein’ a slut huh?” he breathes out flicking a brow at you, keeping you in close when you try to inch away from him at his accusations. 

“i’m not a slut–” he unfolds your offended arms, hands leaving your wrists to hold your thighs that rest on either side of his lap. “no baby it’s alright, s’not a totally bad thing. i like sluts. they let you do whatever you want to ‘em,” he grips your thighs, forcefully sliding you off his lap and letting you land down on your knees before him. you gasp, holding onto his legs for steadiness. 

“and they let you all while tryin’ to convince you they aren’t sluts. isn’t that funny? he chuckles, caressing your cheek, peering down at you while he does so. 

“javi,” you say, you don’t know what to say next, the only certainty that remains is that his name never sounds wrong coming from you. 

“if you wanna be a slut so bad then go ahead, i won’t stop you.” he shrugs, leaning back into the seat, arms stretched out beside him. you swallow away your stuttering, running your hands up and down your thighs. “what do you want me to do?” you ask smally, looking up at him from under your lashes. 

he readjusts, lifting his hips in the air, settling back down closer to you. he tilts his head, eyes flickering from his crotch back to your gaze, “what sluts do best baby.” he says under a gravelly breath. your thighs close just a little tighter at that, feeling eager to oblige to his insinuations. 

you unzip his levi’s, unbuttoning them before you’re pulling him from out his boxers, throat getting tight at the way he pulses in your hands. precum is already beading at his tip, and you lean forward, flicking your tongue over it. he hisses quietly, a hand coming behind your neck. 

your lips envelope the tip, shutting your eyes when you trail down until you can’t take any more of him down your throat. he groans, throwing his head back, bucking his hips into your mouth. you gag around him, hand trembling while you try to jerk off what you can’t fit into your mouth. 

he rolls his head forward, holding you by the back of your head, starting to thrust further in, chuckling to himself at the way you gag. he lets you slide off him, jerking his slick cock off while you catch your breath. 

you’re staring at each other in the thick air, the night breeze sneaking in from the cracked windows, making your nipples perk from behind your lacy bra. 

the moon glimmers through the side window facing javier, and it panels his cheekbone, across his jaw and down his chin, trickling over the curve of his collarbones. 

he looks so beautiful like this, sitting tall in front of you, looking at you like he could tear you apart with one hand, jaw clenching when your thumb slides over the head of his cock. 

the way he’s looking at you elicits a reaction from your body before your mind can reach it. you lean back down, taking him deeper into your mouth. 

you don’t mind the way he keeps your head still, using your mouth the way he likes. 

he fucks your mouth like he wants to prove a point, and at this moment he doesn’t even know what the point is, he hardly even remembers where he’s currently at, the only thing that makes sense is how fucking good you’re taking him down your throat. 

you’re being so good, so perfectly compliant for him, and what’s fueling you is the tingles exploding between your thighs at the way he’s using you. 

the grunting utterances of your name in his spewing breaths adds propellent to the roaring fire building in your lower tummy. 

his groans get a little airier, picking up in quantity, coming out one after the other, fucking your mouth so deep your nose brushes against the brown curls sitting just above his cock. “look at me,” he instructs through gritted teeth, and you listen, blinking away your teary eyes to look up at him. 

he sends one, two, three, hard thrusts into your mouth before he pulls out, resting the tip over your lips. he pants to himself, shutting his eyes closed while you take this time to do the same and catch your own breath. “what’s wrong?” you sound a little rasped, and he can’t fight the smug look on his face at your voice. 

“as much as i’d like to let you continue, i got better things planned baby,” he chuckles breathlessly, pulling you back up into his lap. 

he pushes your dress up, exhaling when he sees how wet you are in the panties he picked out for you. “javi, i didn’t bring any condoms, do you have one?” you press your hands to his chest, momentarily halting him, and he looks at you, scoffing quietly. 

“huh. sluts don’t usually care about that kinda thing.” he rubs the head of his cock over your clothed clit, watching your lowered eyes fully shut, a moan slipping out at his ministrations, proving him right. “s’not gonna fit like this,” your whimper when he moves your panties to the side, flicking himself up and down your folds. “it will baby, i’ll make it fit.” he promises, pressing a kiss to your lips.

you rarely ever got on top, he was always very adamant about taking care of you, whether that means you’re on your back, legs thrown over his shoulders or you with your wrists being hoisted by his tight grip while he fucks you senseless.

the constant is, he’s always on top. 

he’s big, no matter the position he’s got you in, it’s always a stretch he has to ease you into. which is why you’re typically reluctant to get on top, but right now he isn’t asking, he’s telling. 

“javi, s’not gonna go in like this,” you whimper nervously, curling into his chest. head on his shoulder. he rolls his eyes, fingers gliding right over your clit to shut you up. and it works, naturally, he chuckles. 

your breath gets faster when he swirls over your clit with his fingers, squirming around in his lap. he holds himself from the base of his cock, circling over your fluttering hole. your arms wrap around his broad shoulders, fingers playing with the back of his hair. 

he starts crowning into you, pushing in the fat head of his cock, pausing the breath in the middle of your throat. it rumbles out as a pained moan when he continues pushing in. “god javi,” you whine, legs on either side of him flexing with nerves at the intrusion. 

“doin’ all the work for you baby, jus’ take it for me,” he mutters in your ear, his mustache tickling your jaw while he rubs your clit to ease you into it.

“actin’ like i haven’t fucked this pussy before, know you can handle it, sè una niña grande para mí,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek, and you melt, nodding desperately. “i am,” you mumble, bracing yourself for when he bottoms out inside you. he thrusts upward, holding you by the fat your ass, pulling you down onto him. 

the air is knocked out your lungs, and all you can do is hold on to his leather clad shoulders for dear life. your hips start moving in sync, rolling into each other, and you feel insane, it feels so good, you start thinking maybe you’ll do this more often.

the sting from the stretch subsides soon, but the feeling of being full stays, and you keep it, loving how good it feels. the head of his cock nudges deep inside you, bobbing up into your throat and you fall apart, fucking yourself on him, addicted to the way he hits every little spot inside you that you need. 

you’re moaning, panting loudly in his ear, and he eats every single one of them up, gripping your hips when he guides you down onto him. kisses lay wetly across the side of his neck, teeth graze over his ear, praises of how fucking big he is, and how good he feels inside you, relay to him over and over, making his cock twitch when he picks up the pace in his thrusts. 

“you’re so nice while i fuck you baby, maybe this is how i should shut you up more often huh?” he teases, but you don’t care, you’d start arguments with him if it meant he’d always feel this good in you. 

“in so deep,” you whimper more to yourself but he hears you, he hears it all. he hears how fucking soaked you are around him, hears every little breath, every little moan that comes out of you. 

he smacks over your ass, chuckling to himself when you whine and clamp down around him. “maybe i should go find that guy huh?” he leans forward, lips on your shoulder when he ruts up into you deeper, right there to hold you closer when you keen into him at the hard thrust.

“ ‘should find him and fuck you in front of him, show him how its done, what do you think of that baby?” he grunts, hands tightening over your hips. 

you just moan, babbling something incoherent when you grind down onto him, his words acting as a lighter underneath the growing flame while you bounce on him. you squeeze around him, your body unashamed of how much you like the idea of such a dirty act. 

he feels the way you clamp down around him, chuckling breathlessly, his hand traveling behind your neck to force you to look at him. “or maybe it’s you who’d like that,” he taunts, expecting a shy shake of your head, but you just nod, trying to meet his thrusts. "i'll do whatever you want javi," you whimper pathetically, and god, that does something to him. 

"know you will, so sweet baby," he groans, leaning back to watch where you both meet, loving the sight of his cock entering and disappearing into your cunt. 

you tug at the hair from the back of his head, messily kissing all over his jaw and cheek, and he takes it all, adoring how clingy you are with him right now. he pulls the front of your dress down, hooking his fingers under the cups of your bra and groaning to himself when he sees your tits, pretty and pert under the bra, he of course, picked out for you. 

black see-through lace, his favorite. 

"gonna be the death of me, mi vida," he murmurs to himself, latching his hot eager mouth over them. he assaults the soft skin with his tongue, teeth grazing over your sensitive nipples, a smirk forming around the flesh when he teases the ghost of a bite, wanting to laugh when you squirm and arch your back at his actions. 

his fingers find their place back to your clit, rubbing over the nerves like clockwork, syncing the way you bounce on him with harder thrusts, making the pleasure surrounding you inescapable. 

breathing is getting harder, but it feels unimportant, everything does when it comes to javi. in this moment if he told you to stop breathing altogether you honestly just might listen to him. 

but it's so much so soon, and you want to hold onto the moment for as long as you can, enjoy each stroke of his cock deep inside you longer, and if he keeps touching you like this, you know you won't last. you paw at his hand, trying to push the relentless wrist away. "no more javi, m'gonna cum too fast please," you whimper, but he doesn't agree. you're finished when he's finished. 

"do i need to cuff you to the headrest or are you gonna keep those hands to yourself?" he spits, sounding harsh, sounding serious. you whine like a wounded puppy, shaking that empty little head of yours. 

"but javi," he grabs your chin, guiding your gaze downward when he moves his jacket to the side, revealing the cuffs that hang from his belt loops. "think i'm kiddin'? hands to yourself or around me. otherwise you get these. your choice," he's still inside you, and you can't take it, you throw your arms around him, hugging him close while trying to get him to move again. 

"gonna be good, gonna listen, m'sorry, please move javi, please?" 

he senses your desperation, and gives in, continuing his thrusts. you sigh in relief, following the way his hips piston up into you with your own. 

"can i touch you?" you whisper, unsure if you're allowed to, but javier relents, nodding with a kiss to your neck. you slide his jacket off eagerly, quickly unbuttoning his shirt before your hands are running along the warm skin of his shoulders, squeezing them when he thrusts right there. 

your hands drag down his chest, nails lightly digging into his tanned skin when your head falls back, rising and falling up and down on his cock. his mouth is on you again, tongue swirling over the curve of your chest, gripping them roughly in his wide palms. 

he watches you from this view, how you lose yourself when he's got his cock in you, and he thinks maybe he should have encouraged you to ride him earlier. 

he's getting close, watching you has only pulled him closer to the end, his cock twitching the more he imagines how good you'd look dripping in his cum. he imagines your trembling thighs being parted by his hands, your abused hole just leaking and leaking from his cum. 

"m'close, gonna let me finish inside mi vida?" he grunts, and you nod heavily, clamping harder down around him when he asks. "please, please javi," you beg, and who is he to deny you? 

his fingers run around your clit once more, those tight circles from the pads of his fingers bring you right there alongside with him, moaning his name in an incomprehensible voice while his face rests in the crook of your neck, bouncing you on top of him. 

"always wanted to cum in you baby, always wanted to fill you up nice an' good —fuck—, make you fuckin' full of me, just know you'd look so fuckin' good just drippin– shit," you're squeezing him like you never have before, his confessions, the ferver in the way he fucks you is just too much, your body acts before you can even process what’s happening. 

you cum all around his cock, and the pulsing of your walls, the whimpers of his name from your pretty lips is all he needs to join you in your blinding orgasm. he's cumming inside you, grunting your name and how fuckin' good you are for him, his mouth hot on your neck while he fucks you through your shared orgasms. 

he doesn't let up on your clit until the pleasure bleeds into pain, and you can't take it. with heavy breaths you collapse in his arms, panting like you've just ran a marathon, sweaty forehead resting on the cool leather of the seat. 

he gently shifts your hips backward, looking down at his cum that pours out of you. he likes the mess, likes how your cunt looks when he rubs his cum across your throbbing clit, you jump at the stimulation, begging him in a tired voice, no more javi. 

he listens, taking sympathy on your spent body. he puts your panties back over you, tucking himself away before he repositions you so you're properly sitting in his lap, letting your legs stretch across the rest of the backseat. 

"you okay mi bebita?" he murmurs softly, and you hum a sleepy yes, still buzzing from your orgasm. "still mad?" he asks jokingly, pulling a hazy giggle from you.

“i think you just fucked any anger i had left out of me." he laughs proudly at that, rubbing your back. "yeah? maybe that's how we should settle all our fights then." 

[orchidbreezefc]

reposting my old twitter thread regarding venom (2018), which a friend once said should be printed on the back of the dvd case. screenshots aren't working but they'd be redundant with the image ID anyway. if you want the 🌟Full Experience🌟 the original thread is [here].

[1/10] ok i just watched the venom movie for the first time and yall? let me level with you. real talk. full frontal honest hot take.

shit was amazing.

[2/10] like you know that whole shit with video games where people just get so into it and the completionism and the competitive scene and the graphics and whatever and youre like yeah ok but is it like. fun

thats me with venom vs mcu

[3/10] like goddamn. i had fun. i loved it. i saw it and it was an enjoyable experience for me and i liked watching it.

with mcu im all no i get that this is an installment of a series that has a greater overarching plot and shit but like.... am i gonna enjoy it? at all?

[4/10] me looking at mcu movies like am i gonna feel an echo of an iota of entertainment anywhere in my being at any point during this movie or nah?? and most of the time its a solid nah!!! but tom hardy just showed me a good goddamn time!!!!!

[5/10] like man. you talk about disaster characters? i thought i had seen disaster characters. eddie turbofucks his life into the ground with great prejudice. he makes dysfunction an art form. he hits rock bottom and pulls out a jackhammer and thats BEFORE the alien

[6/10] like i spent the front half of the movie going dude. who even allowed this dude to be a protag of anything. who said yep lets make this guy the main character, that seems acceptable

and then around the climax i realized that they HAD to for the plot to work

[7/10] like just imagine how shit wouldve gone were eddie not an eighteen wheeler fucktruck tire fire. if the man were capable of catching a whiff of a phantom of the dessicated corpse of his own common sense none of this would have worked

[8/10] like any human being who is even .0005% more functional than eddie (i.e. anyone on the planet) would not have responded like 'hey actually? i LIKE having this cannibal monster alien controlling my body. i think this is GOOD. im gonna KEEP IT.' like eddie what in the whole fuck.

[9/10] this guy is not even there!!! the whole time!!! nothing behind this dude's eyes. he started dissociating shortly before meeting the scientist lady and he just never fuckin stopped. the lights are all off upstairs. this dude is checked out and he is NEVER coming back.

[10/10] final point the dialogue was just fucking phenomenal start to finish. just absolutely batshit nuts what was coming out of everybody's mouths. and the delivery was stellar, like the wack shit they were saying was completely normal and fine. i'd like to shake that writer's hand

BONUS:

[ID: a graphic that reads, in all caps: "disclaimer: black panther and thor 3: ragnarok are exempt from this statement" and in lowercase: "(captain america 2: the winter soldier you're on thin fucking ice)". end ID]

[shlubbiehubbie]

uwu rawr this is my lore if you even care <3

so theres this guy. ive known him for over a year and we got along really well from the moment we met. long story short i fell in love with him. and it happened on accident. we were friends and i catch feelings for him but never get confirmation if he did or didnt feel the same.

heres the long story lol. we were really good friends like we both lived on campus so we hung out everyday between work and classes. we texted and called every goddamn day. we always met up when we had time. i remember feeling the desperation in a text he sent quickly followed by a call insisting he had time after a meeting to hang out and have dinner together. we even started a club together JUST TO BE ABLE TO HANG OUT MORE AND IN NICER VENUES!!! we just wanted a club where we could play jackbox games and watch movies and shows together. im telling yall he was so ideal. ive never felt so safe with someone before. i even introduced him to the solar car club at our university so we could be on the media and marketing team together. god we were almost inseparable. and he acted different when it was just us vs us with other people. he was clearly very comfortable with me. he would even tease me! he loved getting a reaction out of me. and we would laugh until our sides were sore or we were dying on the floor. we were such good friends and at some point i caught feelings.

we did so much together in the span of almost 4 months. i was having trouble with school due to the death of my grandfather, loss of my job, and being placed in 3 classes i already took at my community college (i was a transfer student). i was expected to do more than i should and felt punished for not knowing all the right channels to go through to get shit done. i felt so tired of the bullshit i didnt think a degree would be worth it at that specific university. but i didnt want to leave my friend. i had a lot of friends but this one in particular was special. this was my newest best friend who i spend countless hours with. he knew i was making the choice to drop out after that semester. the signs were clear he was going to miss me. he hugged me like it was the last time he was gonna see me. he doesnt like hugging and i can remember that embrace like it happened yesterday. i did not want to leave him. i loved him. so what do i do? i give him a card saying thank you for the memories and go no contact on him for 8 fucking months. i got over the worst depression of my life because i missed him so fucking much AND i felt like a failure for wasting my time and money on a school that clearly didnt care for me. i was going to CAPS almost once a week even when i was a student.

anyway. i get over the depression. i pick myself back up. i make great friends through the smiling friends fandom. i meet someone who sounds and laughs like my friend. what are the fucking chances. i am encouraged by new friends to reach out to my uni friend. i take my time but i finally do it. i reconnect with other friends and they encourage me too to call the friend ive been missing the most. and…he doesnt pick up. i want to cry. i feel like a failure again. but i think “maybe he called back?” HE DID. AND I MISSED IT! ACK! so i call him back. he picks up. we say our hellos and how are yous. i apologize for the radio silence and say i thought he hated me. he says “no no no no no no i dont hate you dont even worry about it.” im in love again. and the gentleness of his tone? are you fucking kidding me? we talk for like an hour and then i finally let him go to finish packing before he moves back in. i see him the day he moves in and i meet his parents for the 2nd time. after that we start hanging out again but a little too often. we set up proper boundaries after i have a mental breakdown bc he is the only one of my friends from last year that actually missed me and wanted to see me again. he said he wanted to see me again.

the last time i saw him was september 8. i was escorted off campus on the 9th and the 11th due to depressive episodes during both incidents (undiagnosed and unmediated at the time). i was institutionalized from the 14th to the 19th. i still havent seen my friend. i am officially banned from campus and i miss my good friend everyday. i wrote poetry about him that i may never share. i love him. i always will. what sucks is so many things remind me of him. i feel sick when i get reminded of him because i cannot physically be near him and i just miss him that fucking much. i’m hopeless. but i do think i will see him again even if it is not soon. its killing me to wait to see him again. fuck my stupid baka life. god i miss that goober!

[sea-jello]

to my movie morro enjoyers yall got me curious so i did some research and tweaked the laws of youth criminal justice cause it's a movie about legos

WHOOH i expanded on this a lot and its not even all the options

uhhh should i tag the people who said they wanted to see my half ass ideas

@star-ocean-peahen @here4dragons i know hes TECHNICALLY not the villain here yet,, but its coming Soon. just ignore if you dont care SORRY BOUT THE TAG 💀💀

so morros role in the gang is he like collects intel n shit, scouts and/or recruits new members, makes plans and gives orders from the boss (preeminent) so hes sorta like the preeminents ambassador. general?? right hand man?? number 2?? something. occasionally he participates in very low key crimes where his face and identity could be hidden. never does anything big and flashy, so hes the least likely to get caught and thats one of the reasons hes so high up. the boss usually has a business to cover for the gang so the preeminent has a bar or a nightclub or something where they allow you to cover your face and morro works there to be like,, closer so its easy to recieve orders/info or something yk. when asked he says hes small for his age with a VERY obvious undertone and they leave it at that, cause so what if the nightclub is a little sketchy, goddamn this kid whips out drinks faster than anyone. hes very in the shadows undercover and thats why they couldnt catch him/had no evidence he was high ranking (i need a gang name help should it just be cursed realm?? cursed spirits maybe)

IF we want morro to just have general shenanigans with the ninja then hes on parole. if you dont know what parole is basically they let you out after 2/3rds of your sentence to let you integrate back into society or something, but youre still under supervision. so the timeline is morro starts his criminal activity at 14, gets caught and arrested at 16 and then gets released at 17. if youre worried about the 3 years in the above post trust me the logic checks out

they KNOW morros the criminal mastermind running shit behind the gang, they just cant find any way to prove it so he only gets sentenced for gang affiliation. he spends around a year or so in juvie and they let him out for the next 6 months

they let morro stay with wu cause hes like,, the head of the fucking ninja team he can handle himself, BUT he has to have security guards accompany him to school to keep an eye on him/watch for signs of him actually being highly involved in the gang. lloyd is real fucking embarrassed about it cause morro loves to come up and bother him, and it attracts even more unwanted whisperings about garmadons cousin who went to JAIL. morro bothers him even more because of it

no one knew morro was lloyds cousin, so when the ninja show up to the garage one day and find the fucking ex convict just chilling on lloyds mech theyre like ??? WHY ARE YOU HERE. they knew lloyd had a questionable cousin when he mentioned he got out of jail, but they didnt know it was HIM. like i said, morros infamous for being a mastermind escape artist (i kinda want to give him an alias so drop suggestions 👀👀) even better wu walks in and he goes "ah i see youve met my son morro!!" and the ninja go batshit cause wu had mentioned visiting his son in jail which already rose so many unanswered questions back then, but not THIS GUY

im debating on whether lloyd knows morro was a criminal during the three years or not. cause if he didnt know it would be really funny when morro/the gangs arrest was on the news and lloyd goes 👁👁 THATS MY FUCKING COUSIN. but if he DID know he sees him on the news and hes like "lmao get fucked wait till i tell uncle wu" (again,, drop the opinions)

wu knows he was a criminal pretty early on and absolutely does not give a shit cause movie wu is bat ass crazy and jaded to fuck. he sees morro on the news in his like gang getup and goes oh look at him go 😄😄 i hope he remembers to tuck in his feet like i taught him to 😄😄😄 morro was terrified when he got caught by wu, but all he did was lay out two hard rules. 1. no killing innocents and 2. no drugs. morros like ?? thats it?? and wu just sort of stares at him and goes ‘‘i believe so. now don’t you have somewhere to be?’’ and morros like yeah.. i got a bank to rob at 2. JUST TO BE CLEAR morro has NEVER ONCE KILLED ANYBODY just to be safe, even though wu was all for dismantling the dictatorship or patriarchy and whatnot. when morro gets arrested wu visits him just to laugh at him (im copy pasting most of this from tags from this post lmao)

wu absolutely makes morro train the ninja cause lets be honest theyre dogshit without the mechs. morros idea of training is jumping them all around the city at random times. he bullies them so hard jay is on the verge of tears every day

(thank you @l0on for so many of the ideas 😌😌 find them in the reblogs)

morros got the cool older cousin vibe who acts like he doesnt care and he actually doesnt care. idc what yall say he does NOT go easy on lloyd just because theyre cousins.

this is all set after the movie btw. morro only got away with so much for so long because everyone was occupied with garmadon

soo if we want him to be like the actual villain thats gonna be in another part cause god DAMN this got longer than i thought it would

[the-backwards-eel]

Sorry yall no proper review for cpc ep. 139 bc all i have to say is

What the fuck, Lambcat!?

(!Spoilers, tw su1c1d3!)

OMFG LAMBCAT REALLY SHOWED UP GWEN POISONING HERSELF BACK IN EP. 107 BUT I DIDNT THINK ANYTHING OF IT BC I DIDNT KNOW THE CONTEXT NOW I DO AAAAAAA

BC OF THE SPOILER IN EP. 107 I WAS THINKING GWEN ALREADY HAD THE ROBE AND IT SOMEHOW GOT PUT BACK IN THE HOLE

SO LEELATHAES ROBE WAS JUST SITTING IN THAT WALL FOR OVER A DECADE BC NO ONE BOTHERED TO FIX THE WALL???

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP SHITTING MYSELF HER EYES LOOK SO DULL ITS LIKE SHE ALREADY DIED…INSIDE 😭😭😭

THIS ABSOLUTELY BROKE MY FUCKING HEART ESPECIALLY AS SOMEONE WHO DEALS WITH DEPRESSION AND HAS ATTEMPTED SU1C1D3 NOT JUST ONCE BEFORE THEN CONTINUED TO STOMP ON THE PIECES THEN THREW THEM INTO A BLENDER TO BE CRUSHED INTO FINE POWDER THEN ADDED TO WATER TO MAKE A SHAKE THEN FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET FOR SEA CREATURES TO SHIT AND PISS IN AND PPL THEN CATCH AND EAT SEA CREATURES THEN SHIT IT OUT AND THE SHIT IS USED AS FERTILISER FOR CROPS THAT PPL ARE GONNA EAT AND SHIT OUT AGAIN

INITIALLY I WAS CONFUSED AS TO WHY SHE ATE THE POISONED APPLE BC WHEN JAMIE ATE IT HE WAS JUST OUT TO SLEEP BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THAT JAMIE WOKE UP BY TRUE LOVES KISS FROM A WAFFLE BUT GWEN THINKS FREDERICK NEVER TRULY LOVED HER SO-

GODDAMN YOU LAMBCAT FUCK YOU IM GONNA BE SENDING MEAN MESSAGES TO LAMBCATS INSTA I JUST CANT RN I AM SO DISTRAUGHT I HLDKKWKDIXKSOSD

[bitchybylershipper]

alright yall just got home from my first experience with an overnight camp and i have a few things to say

on the way up there we were driving along a river and i genuinely got so excited about it i started shaking and then my only thought was "i should probably go outside more often"

so i wasnt talking to anyone on the way up i was just chillin in the back of the 15 passenger van and then the girls in the seats in front of me wanted to talk to me or whatever on the last stretch of the drive so they were throwing goldfish at me to get my attention 💀

when everyone was trying to figure out which bunk they were taking it sounded like everyone was trying to decide on a sex position

it was like 11:30 and the lights were off and one of the girls was walking like REALLY heavy like a goddamn elephant or something and i was like jesus christ who tf is that

people forgot to turn off their school alarms so at 5:30 i woke up to a dog barking sound and it woke up everyone in the cabin EXCEPT the person whose alarm it was 💀

at 7:15 i woke up and wanted to take my counselors life because her alarm was windchimes and it was on like volume 110

im so autistic i forgot that other people actually change their clothes everyday so when i came back from the bathroom yesterday i was shocked to my core to see three girls without shirts on

i did not really know anyone yesterday morning so i didnt want to talk to ANYONE and then the camp leader was like hey youre quiet and i was like i dont have very much to say my friends arent here and then he assigned someone to try to include me which she really tried but i am so bad at holding a conversation with someone im not comfy around and she gave up and went to play vollyball 💀

after that the counsellor with the horrifying alarm was trying to make me feel included but i was Not Having It and i genuinely felt so bad for her for trying so hard when i was not in a good spot to talk to

at lunch yesterday i had two cups of coffee and was going crazy in the lodge like my senses were mega heightened and i was talking so fucking fast like those people at the end of goddamn commercials and then i found a drinking fountain and literally and actually lost my fucking mind

at one point i was supposed to go get my folder but when i tried to grab it i accidentally papercutted THREE of my fingers and i was like bruh how even tho i knew something like that was going to happen i was still shocked appalled when it did

around like 4:00 i was in the bathroom and my cheeks were like really red and warm and i was like oh shit sleep deprivation is catching up to me again anti-fever medication save me and then the camp leader said something about sunburns and i was like ohhhhh thats probably whats wrong with me

my (new) friend violet was putting hot sauce on her goddamn mashed potatoes last night (i have photo and video evidence of this i am being so serious) and then another girl was taking shots of hot sauce out of literal fucking olives like black olives from a can

we got lost on a hike at 10:00 at night last night 💀

after the hike we had a fire and smores and then we did something called an affirmation circle where we all took turns being the center of attention and everyone had to say something nice about us and i was like oh god what are they gonna say about me and then it was my turn and they were all so nice to me i was about to cry

our camp leader didnt want to have a turn in the affirmation circle but we all wanted to let him know how much we love and appreciate him (for most of us hes our trusted adult) and it got really emotional and then when we got back to the cabins everyone was crying

one of my counselors used to be a massage therapist and those of us who wanted one she was giving us massages and basically turned us all into playdough by the way it was sooo funny how the people with anxiety disorders had the most knots in their muscles (hehe. my shoulder hurts.)

at about 1 am there were like four different snores happening and i was about to lose it

i think i just barely went over my sweet spot of just enough sleep because when it was actually time to get up my eyes did Not want to stay open lmao

we had waffles for breakfast. violet put fUCKING HOT SAUCE ON HER GODDAMN WAFFLES. HOT SAUCE. ON HER GODDAMNFUCKING WAFFLES.

violet also downloaded ttpd while we were hiking last night and we listened to it in the car i love her sm 🫶

[protagonistscum]

traveler hc below

[mihai-florescu]

I do not wish dental issues on my biggest enemies frr

[risukin]

imma need ppl who arent bisexual to stop using purposefully vague and misleading wording when describing our attraction. how many times am i gonna hear "attraction to two genders" and "men and women but...x" bullshit when it takes three (3) minutes out your life to read the easily accessible, often talked about and discussed, amazing resource for bisexuality: the bi manifesto. at this point ppl are being ignorant and they know it. how many times do bisexuals need to practically shove it in your face in order to learn such a basic and digestible information

[annetaa]

ABOUT THE MOON SIGNS

🌚

¦ im not a professional astrologer(yet) ¦

¦ after you read your moon sign, answer the question that i left for you! also state your house sign! ¦

masterlist

🎀aries moon natives are SWEETHEARTS ok??? you're impulsive and bold, you always say what's on your fucking mind which makes me so goddamn happy that you're not a people pleaser. you're passionate in EVERYTHING you do, also very competitive. you might get bored pretty fast too. you might like to exercise a lot, your body AND mind.

do you guys wear red? or have red hair, nails, tattoos?

🎀taurus moon natives have a great fashion style (ruled by venus duuuuh). very down to earth people, you might be scared of changes, you like stability and a cozy warm house where you can be your true self. if you guys truly like something or someone, you will go for it 100% no doubt. you are determined, and that can also make you stubborn.

do you guys have candles in your house? or something very homey that you love?

🎀gemini moon natives.... yall.... you CAN'T lie to a gemini moon. they hear and see and know EVERYTHING even though they were 10 meters away from you, they heard it. so don't try to fool them. i noticed that gemini moons change their appearance, style, decor, everything that can be changed, pretty often, because they either feel bored, doesn't fit their vibe, or just because. no reason. very smart in school, and also very curious about everything. might have mood swings pretty often.

how many friends do you have? are they close friends or someone that you just hangout with?

🎀cancer moon natives, ruled by the moon, you think that they should be emotionally stable no? no, they're not, they have a long way to go till they reach that. sorry sweeties but that's the truth. GOOD ASS SENSE OF HUMOR. can instantly read the energy in the room. you guys need to feel safe all the time, so you might have a close friend circle, whom you really trust.

are you the "mother" friend? if so, why?

🎀leo moon natives like attention. that's it.

nah jk jk, your emotional life is very fiery and passionate. you might get excited pretty easily about little stuff. i also feel like you guys are good at everything??? you are fun to be around, and you're the type to make everyone comfortable and feel safe, even though you're not feeling it. i noticed that leo moon are very talented in arts, or if you're not talented, you like it a lot. VERY VERY LOYAL!!!

when do you feel most comfortable?

🎀virgo moon natives oh shit you guys give great advice, you also have a way with words. i am a virgo moon and I'm always told that i give good advice 🤷🏼‍♀️. i feel like we are perfectionist but don't show it, also emotional instability.....yes....im emotionally unstable. we don't like feeling vulnerable, but if we are vulnerable, it better be someone that we trust that sees us in that state. we are so fucking curios like.. google is my bestfriend. we're also pretty good at everything. there's nothing that we can't do (expect math for me😜)

do you guys like helping people?

🎀libra moon natives have impeccable fashion style (ruled by venus) also very liked by everyone, you guys really understand people, you might have a big friend circle, because everyone likes you, but that doesn't mean that you like everyone 🙄. very diplomatic!! has a way with words. people pleaser sometimes, but don't disrespect them. please stop putting other peoples needs before yours. passive aggressive behaviour. if you think that you know a libra moon... no you don't.

what do you like to do in your free time?

🎀scorpio moon natives - what they show is not what they feel. might have a desire to transform like a phoenix. they like reading people's faces. very observant of their surroundings. attracted to dark stuff. they are scared of betrayal, so you won't catch them being vulnerable anytime soon. you guys are the most loyal in relationships!!

what weird hobbies do you have?

🎀sagittarius moon natives ARE FUNNY AS FUUUUUCK and you can't tell me otherwise. they have sarcastic jokes up their sleeves. but you guys have and want so much freedom, that you might have problems committing to something. you like travelling and are very adventurous and you feel that everywhere you go you can make it feel like a home. which is sooo true.

do you have a pet?

🎀capricorn moons are not emotionally vulnerable, like at all out of all the earth signs. they're competitiveeeeee. also no one will really know how they feel. you have a great sense of responsibility, and can be very reliable. you might like taking long walks. you might also benefit if you open up and talk about your feelings.

are you considered the reliable friend?

🎀aquarius moon natives are unique, and that's how they can attract abundance in their life, by being unique! you're the person that will actually take a bullet for their loved ones. you're very compassionate and observant, and love to analyze people. you might want a unique job, something not mundane. very open minded.

are you an overthinker?

🎀pisces moon natives can definitely be manipulative, but only if they gain something from it. if not, they won't even spare you a glance. if you don't talk about what you feel, you might feel like you're exploding inside. highly emphatic. often have depressing thoughts. they are the therapist in the group, but they also need therapy lmao.

do you like when people come to you to vent about their emotions?

omg im finally done

this took me like 3 hours to make oh god

please don't forget to comment

also do I really have to say to not steal? ig u guys already know

[jaylaxies]

switch leaning dom! sunghoon having high sex drive and he just can't go one day without fucking you. so just imagine, you two had been going on for two rounds already, youre riding him while hes being blindfolded (idk why i just feel like hes into bondage lmao) and istg he would come within seconds bc mf is just so goddamn needy. you continue riding him until you came which overstimulates the fuck outta him and hes just whining bc it just feels so good. you got up and went to the bathroom to prepare a nice warm bath for the both of you. meanwhile, sunghoon is just laying on the bed, legs spread open, still trying to catch his breath. his sensitive dick still twitching from the overstimulation, his tip so red and swollen, and hes still hard even after yall been fucking for quite some time. he got up, headed to the bathroom to see your ass face up the air while preparing. his eyes laid on your glistening pussy and this definitely did turn him on even more, he just couldnt wait anymore. and there goes another round.

oh yeah and he will 100% fuck you from the back while yall facing the bathroom mirror. or he might even drag you into the shower, just to get both of yals bodies wet and to fuck you again.

i had a such a great vision of this im stunned, please he'd love to see tears streaming down your face as he fucks you from behind, bonus if you're wearing eyeliner or mascara so that it runs down your cheeks with tears. bet hoon has dacryphilia kink, he loves to see you cry out of pleasure. shower sex would be so messy, he'd fuck you against the wall while also marking you up and all you can do is moan and try not to fall down with your legs giving up on how hard he is thrusting in you

[reidswritings]

even after all these years

word count; 7.2k

warnings; mentions of death, stalker stuff, mentions of guns, curse words, and angst angst angst

authors note; so this was like 3 days in the making, so i hope yall enjoy!! please let me know what yall think!! ignore any typos im doing my best 😁😁

two years ago;

“I’m done.” She had said after the door closed, once they were alone. Once there was no one to stop what was going to happen. Once there was no one to talk some sense into The Young Girl. 

The Pretty Boy, who she had come to love more that she ever thought possible, was no longer standing pretty in front of her. His once love filled eyes—the hazel beauties that used to look at her with so much admiration now were void, cold— were holding back the tears she knew he so desperately wanted to let flow (but wouldn’t with her standing there). She knew that once she left him, he’d break down. She knew that he would spend all of his nights on the couch rather than the bed they shared for so long. She knew that he would rather die than look at the happy pictures on the walls sans the few that she had stuffed into her getaway bag. She knew him too well— she knew how he would react once she was no longer the love interest in his story. 

She knew and yet she was still doing this to him. She was doing this to him— she was causing him so much destruction and pain, barely batting an eye at him. For being a profiler, he was shitty at reading people’s body language and emotions. Because to him, she seemed fine; she seemed like it was just another day. To Spencer, it seemed like she was bored. To him, it didn’t seem like she was also breaking. It didn’t seem like she was hurting just as much. Maybe if he was better, he would’ve seen. Maybe if he was better, he could’ve stopped it. Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

The eyes that she had fallen in love with—that she was still hopelessly in love with— were dark, almost black. He had a white piece of gauze taped against his neck, covering a once life threatening bullet hole. There was a red spot, small bits of blood seeping through the stitches holding his skin together. If she wasn’t so preoccupied she would’ve thrown up from how much the injury bothered her. She would’ve gotten so worked up that she would’ve passed out. 

Her eyes burned with tears, looking at the goddamn wound that started this all. The wound that ended their relationship. She blinked and it was over for her. Her façade dropped and her tears rolled over her eyelashes and onto her cheeks. Spencer’s arm twitched before he jerked it back to his side, fingers clenched. He wanted to wipe her tears away so desperately. Despite the words that had just passed her perfect lips, he still wanted to hold her like his life depended on it— because honestly, it really did. 

She was his life preserver in the wild sea that was his life. 

The Boy was holding his keys in his hands, jingling the metal with his fingers in attempt to calm his heart, his mind, his emotions. They had just gotten home. He was in Texas when it happened— he was in Texas working a case when he almost got himself killed. Thankfully, The Team had flew His Girl out and she had been the first face he saw when he finally woke up. 

Alex, being the wonderful human she is, had just dropped the two off, leaving only after she admitted to Spencer that she was leaving, too. They had just gotten home and she was springing this on him, out of nowhere. She was doing this to him even after all the people that had already left him. She was doing this to him the same night one of his best friends had just left him. She was doing this at the most inconvenient time— not that any time would be better, he would still be loosing the love of his life either way. 

He was sure he hadn’t heard her right. He was sure that he hadn’t just heard His Pretty Girl say the words he thought she’d never say. The words she promised him that she’d never use. She was doing the one thing he was most afraid of; she was abandoning him. . . just like everyone did. 

His heart was beating so fast. It was so loud, he was sure she could hear him. He was on the brink of a panic attack. His breath was hitching and he couldn’t stop it. As big as his brain was, he couldn’t wrap his mind around what was happening. His mind was running a mile a minute, carrying a thousand thoughts with it— yet, none of the thoughts were helpful ones. There were no thoughts walking him through his breathing exercises, no thoughts telling him to calm down, no thoughts telling him to speak up. 

The only thing on his genius mind was one sentence; She’s leaving me. She’s leaving me. She’s leaving me. She’s leaving—

So, he said, “W-What?” Breathless and choppy. He was having trouble focusing. He needed to sit down. He needed the world to pause for just one second. He needed to get his thoughts in order. He needed to sit, but his legs refused to move. He was stuck. He was stuck in this terrible, awful moment that his eidetic memory would never let him live down. He knew that he would think of this moment for the rest of his life with so much regret in all the things he didn’t say. But still, he was stuck, frozen. 

Unable to fix things— unable to make her stay. 

“Spence,” She paused, looked down and sighed. She couldn’t look at him. She couldn’t, because if she did she would wrap him up in her arms and never let him go again. She knew if he caught her eye that she would apologize until she was blue in the face. The girl refused to meet his eyes because she knew if she did that she wouldn’t be doing what she was doing. She needed to do this, she couldn’t back down now. “I. . . I can’t do this anymore.”

His voice was low, raspy and broken, “Do what. . .?” He knew what. He wasn’t dumb, he knew what she meant, but he needed to hear her say it. She had to say it or he wouldn’t ever let go. He would be stuck with her for the rest of time. He needed to hear her say it, even if that meant he would be more broken than he had ever been before. He needed this. He needed it even if it killed him. 

Now she met his hazel eyes— her favorite part of him, she was committing it to memory because after this, she would never see him again. She knew that. She counted on that. “This, us. Spence, I almost lost you today. . . I can’t do that again. You’re— You’re everything, I-I— you’re my everything. I can’t ask you to quit your job, I won’t be that person. . . So, I’m removing myself. I can’t watch you get killed— I won’t do it, Spencer.”

Everything, all at once, became sharp. It was like his mind could finally form full sentences. He was full of ideas, he was full of air. He knew what he had to do. He knew how to keep her with him. 

Before either adult knew what was happening, he was moving, quick on his feet, to the couch. He was throwing open his messenger bag, hands messily pulling things out. He was searching for his phone, he was searching for the one thing he could think of that would save him— save them. 

“What are you doing?” Y/N asked him, moving behind him, reaching for his arm, trying to see what had him so worked up. He jerked away from her, grunting in the process. And again, with no words spoken, he was moving again. He was going too fast, he was going to tear his stitches, he was going to hurt his still healing wound. He was now moving into the kitchen, still looking, hope flooding his veins. This was his last chance, he knew that. 

“Spencer!” She followed him, just as frantic as the newly hope-filled boy, “Did you hear me?”

She heard him let out a chocked sob, a broken laugh following— though, no humor was tied to it. She stopped in front of him, heart wild, anxiety flowing through her body. He was typing on his phone, chest raising and falling faster than she liked. The girl asked again, “What are you doing?”

He looked up now. His eyes were wild, more so than she had ever seen. He was so worked up that his body was literally twitching with each breath that passed his lips. It scared her, she had never seen him like this. She had never seen him so manic. It hurt knowing she was the cause. 

The thought of him like this did nothing for her, though. She still continued on her path of destruction. 

“I’m calling Hotch. Telling him I’m done.” He was bringing his phone up to his ear while his mind planned out the words he needed to say to get off The Team. His free hand was holding onto the counter, keeping himself straight up. His knuckles were turning white; Y/N was worried he would break his hand— or the old table. Either way was inadequate. Without it, he was afraid he’d fall to the floor in a mess of tears and anger.

He was doing it, he was doing it. He had figured a way to make her stay, he was going to do it. He would do anything to keep her with him. 

The phone was ringing. It was ringing and Spencer could feel his panic draining away with each passing second, his boss was going to answer and everything was going to be alright. His boss, who doubled as his friend, was seconds away from answering the phone, he just knew it. 

Everything was working itself out, this would be okay— that is until she intervened. 

She was ripping the phone from his hands, hanging up in the process. Spencer felt his breath catch again, his voice was wild as he asked— screeched, “What are you doing?!”

The boy reached for the phone but she whipped it away from his reach, “Stop! Give— Give it back, Y/N!” 

“No! I-I’m not letting you throw your life away for something so fucking stupid, Spencer!” Spencer watched her as she began to turn around, walk from the kitchen and probably his life. He couldn’t move again. His phone started to ring in her hands. They both froze, listening to the phone until it turned itself off. 

He was following her now, like a lost puppy. He would follow her anywhere. She was the one. She was it for him. There was no one else. 

“Y/N. . . please. Please, don’t do this.” He was broken, voice thick with tears. Her back was to him, he stepped closer, hand falling to her shoulder. 

He heard her sigh, “Spencer, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

He begged. He was more broken than she had ever seen him. More than when he lost Maeve. More than when he lost Emily. More than when Elle left him. More than when Alex told him about her son that was so similar to himself. More than when she walked out right after. More than when he talked about his mom. This was it— this was the worst for him. This was his rock bottom. He wasn’t sure he’d ever recover. 

This was it for him— there was only darkness after Y/N. He couldn’t see a future without His Girl by his side. 

There was no Spencer Reid without Y/F/N Y/L/N. 

“Please don’t leave me. You—You promised.”

She turned to face him, face absent of all emotion. A complete 180 from only a few moments ago. She handed him back the outdated phone, along with his crushed up heart. “I lied.”

now; 

It wasn’t very often Y/N crossed Spencer’s mind, but when she did it felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest all over again. Spencer’s had his fair share of trauma in his life, but by far Y/N was the one that hurt the most. After watching her walk out of his life—for ever, he’d assumed— he was sure that he wouldn’t ever recover. He did, of course. 

It just took longer than he cared to admit. 

It took a lot of shedding tears at the most inappropriate times (and things), more support from his friends than he ever thought he’d get, too many late nights playing that last night over and over again in his mind, and way too many calls to his sponsor. 

If he was being honest, he was terrified that he would relapse. He was afraid that he would become his old self. He never wanted that; he hated that guy more than he hated anything in his life. He didn’t though— he made her a promise all those years ago and he didn’t break promises. She may have broken all hers but that didn’t mean he broke his. 

He had gone those two years without ever seeing The Pretty Girl. He was grateful for that— he knew if he ever did see her again, he’d probably die. Well, not actually, but it would hurt like hell. He was more than positive that if he saw The Beaut that it would feel like he was dying. He knew this because that’s how he felt when she left all those years ago. 

He tried not to dwell on that fact— he tried not to think about her. 

He really did. He even tried to move on. He tried to love other girls, he tried to let himself go, he tried to find solace in women that weren’t her. It just never came— he never got the peace he so desperately craved. 

She was just too unforgettable. She was everything— she was the air that he breathed, the ground he walked on, the smile that he got every time something wonderful happened. 

She was everything and it was near impossible to let go of everything.

By now, he had convinced himself, with the help of his BAU family, that he’d never see her again. He had been convinced that it was really over. He was trying to convince himself to let her go. He was trying to lose that tiny piece of hope he carried in his heart with him with every day. He knew he had to let her go— he’d never get what he wanted again. It was time. 

Too many years had passed, she wasn’t his anymore. 

She was a pretty girl; she had probably settled down by now. She had probably settled for someone. She probably lived in some small town with a dog and a perfect boy that wasn’t him. Her life was probably everything she ever dreamed of. 

He liked to think that. He liked to think that she had gotten everything she’d ever wanted. He liked to think that she was happy now. It kept him going, fantasizing about her and her perfect life— the one she created without him. 

He never thought he’d see her again. And you know what? He was coming to terms with that. 

That was, until the day he did. The day his heart stopped beating again. The day that his breath was knocked from his lungs. The day that he only dreamed about. 

Until His Pretty Girl walked through those big glass BAU doors. 

The Stunned Boy felt his body betray him. He was suddenly standing, mouth agape and eyes wide, unblinking. She had stopped too, arms clutching a ominous folder to her chest. Spencer drank her appearance in; she hadn’t changed very much. She was still as beautiful as he remembered. She looked absolutely gorgeous. 

She was wearing a baggy sweatshirt— Spencer was more than positive that it was his— and frame fitting jeans. She had paired the comfortable outfit with the running shoes she had bought so many years ago. It was ironic because she had bought them to start working out, but never actually got around to doing so. 

Spencer met her eyes. They hadn’t changed, they were still the eyes he had fallen in love with. He took a moment to notice that her face was void of any makeup— that was different. She looked tired too; her hair was thrown up into a messy bun, another thing that he noticed was different. She looked absolutely exhausted— he wanted to know why. He wanted to know what had happened to make her look the way she did; what had brought her back— back to him. 

Both Spencer and Y/N were still unmoving, despite the world moving around them. His voice came out soft, and he was sure that she couldn’t hear him from across the bullpen. He wasn’t completely sure that he wasn’t dreaming. He spoke anyways, “Y/N?”

She blinked and then her world started again. Her breath was knocked back into her body; she was here for a reason. She needed help. 

JJ walked through the doors, coffee in hand, tired eyes heavy on her face. She stopped in her tracks, suddenly awake, upon seeing Y/N. A gasp came from her lips, causing the spell between Spencer and Y/N to end. The unchanged girl turned to her old friend, the smallest smile he had ever seen on her face, “Hi.”

JJ smiled too, arms wrapping around the smaller girl before she could stop them. “Hi! Oh my god, hi! W-What are you doing here?”

Y/N’s eyes met Spencer’s again—he still hadn’t moved— then back to the blonde’s. “Um, I— Um, I need your help.”

Ever so curious, JJ nodded and led her old pal to her desk— the desk that was directly in front of SSA Spencer Reid’s. As they approached, Spencer felt his body lower itself back into his chair. Jennifer pulled an empty chair by her desk, motioning her friend to sit. Now with all three adults sitting, The Beautiful Blonde asked, “What’s happening?”

Spencer pretended to be busy, opening a case folder and staring. Y/N knew he was listening— it never took The Genius Boy more than, like, 10 seconds to read one page. Despite the listening ears, Y/N cleared her throat and began to speak.

She placed the folder onto JJ’s desk. It landed with a soft thump. The blonde flipped it open, keeping eye contact with her friend— soon to be victim of their next case. Page after page of threats laid there for anyone to see, it made Y/N feel quite exposed. She hated this; she hated that this was happening to her.

“I think— I think,” she paused, eyes flicking to Spencer, who was now watching the two girls with no shame, brows furrowed and bottom lip tucked under his teeth, “someone has been following me.”

Y/N felt her leg start to bounce in anxiety, she wished she could rewind the clock and convince herself not to come to the office. She wished she could’ve just pretended that she was safe and that nothing was happening to her. Spencer launched himself to his feet. His heart was anxiety-ridden “What?” 

Both girl’s attention moved to The Frantic Boy. His mind was as wild as his curls; there was no way this was happening to him again. It wasn’t fair— why couldn’t his girls just be left alone? 

“Um, yeah— I don’t know,” The Young Girl nodded, hands dismissing her thoughts. She felt dumb for coming back, and it showed. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go. I know you guys are good at this stuff.”

JJ placed a sympathetic hand on Y/N’s arm, calling her attention back. “It’s good you did.”

The Blonde nodded along with her friend, “Okay, I’ll be right back. I’m gonna show this to The Team, see what we can do. Okay?” She was waving the blank folder in her hands as Y/N nodded. JJ stood, eyeing Spencer, a secret conversation happening between the two. 

As soon as the girl left, Spencer claimed her seat. The boy leaned back, one leg crossing over the other— the iconic Spencer stance. Y/N’s hands were folded in her lap, eyes trained on her faded jeans, her mind willing her to be anywhere other than in front of The Boy she broke.

Spencer cleared his throat, His Pretty Girl looked up. “It’s good to see you. . . You, uh, you look good.”

He noticed the slight blush that appeared on her cheeks and nose. His cold heart softened ever so slightly. It was like a window had opened and his anger bit by bit flew out. Even after all these years he was still head over heals for her. She scoffed, tucking a piece of hair back into her bun, “. . . Shut up.”

“No, seriously. You haven’t changed at all.” More blush on her cheeks. More anger out the window. 

Y/N licked her lips— a nervous tick, Spencer noticed, “Spencer, I—” 

His heart sped up at her words, mind wondering what she was going to say. He hoped it was the apology he’d wanted for the past two years. He wished it was her asking for him to take her back. He wished, he wished, he wished. 

“—Y/N, we’re ready for you now.” JJ’s voice interrupted the girl. Both Y/N and Spencer turned to The Blonde who was standing in the door of the round table room. Her hand was clutching the door as she leaned out. Y/N could see in the room, thanks to the floor to ceiling window directly next to Jennifer. The entire Team was inside, Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t seen any of them since she did what she did to Spencer. She wondered if they held any anger towards her. If they did, she deserved it. After what she did to Spencer she deserved everything unwelcoming and bad.

The Boy Wonder sensed her anxiety. He stood up, encouraged her to as well. Once she did so, he led her into the room, all their eyes landing to her. Spencer and His Pretty Girl came to a stop in the room, standing side by side. Y/N could feel the warmth radiating of the boy next to her, it calmed her nerves. She missed that— The Spencer Effect.

“It’s so good to see you again, Y/N,” that was Emily. Emily Prentiss; best friend of Spencer Reid. Her eyes, Y/N noticed held a bittersweet tone, “Wish it was under different circumstances, though.” 

Her eyes looked at each and every member of The Team— none of them held any judgement or anger. Sure, some held sadness, others held understanding, but mostly, she saw compassion. She should’ve known; she used to spend every weekend with these people— she should’ve known they wouldn’t hold anything against her. She should’ve known.

Holding the pages that Y/N had printed out, JJ spoke first. “Well, it looks like its all been online?”

The victim nodded then coughed, “Well. . . actually, last night, I found this outside my apartment.” Out of her purse, she pulled yet another folder. Handing it to Spencer, she rocked on her feet. Inside the folder was picture after picture of Y/N. Many were captured when she was in the public eye, doing errands, hanging with friends, walking her pup. The part that caused Spencer’s blood to run cold were the few at the end. 

Whoever was terrorizing Y/N, had managed to get into her apartment and capture pictures while she was sleeping, showering and even lounging on her couch— though the last bunch were from outside a window, most likely on her patio. 

The boy tossed the pictures on the table in anger, the rest of The Team all began to sort through them. Surprising Y/N, and The Team, he did a full 180 and stormed from the room. Against her better judgement, she watched him go. Her eyes followed his every movement. Even after all these years, her eyes still watched every move her boy executed. 

Before she could protest, her feet were carrying her to Spencer. He was pacing in front of his desk, hands nervously rubbing over one another. A tick that she remembered Spencer often doing. 

“Spencer?” She asked. It was soft and innocent. It was everything Spencer had missed and that pissed him off. 

“Y/N?” The tone surprised her. It was harsh, different from how he was treating her only a few  minutes prior. 

“Are you okay?” He laughed but didn’t answer her question, so she tried once more. “What’s wrong? . . . Spence?”

“No—!” He turned to face her now. His outburst surprised her (and apparently The Team too, as they had all stopped what they were doing to watch the horrific scene unfold. Yet none of the six moved to help The Broken Girl. She deserved that— she deserved the harsh words that were leaving the boy she loved so much), he continued, “You— you don’t get to call me that anymore. You lost that privilege when you left.”

That hurt, but she let him get it out. She knew it was years in the making— she knew it was healthy for him to express himself, even if it was all the anger he accumulated the past two years. He wasn’t yelling anymore, but his tone held all the anger he had been holding for the past two years. The boy’s hands made their way into his curls, pulling at the root. Y/N’s eyes were wide, mouth stuck open. 

“Spencer, I-I’m sorry!” Tears were stinging her eyes, causing The Beautiful Boy to go blurry. She was absolutely positive that Spencer could see her unshed tears and she hated herself for it. She felt so fucking stupid. She shouldn’t have come— it was stupid to think he would ever help her. 

“Yeah? Well, it’s too late now, Y/N.” He stepped towards her, she took a step back. His heart took the bullet, but he didn’t let it show. And before he could stop the word vomit, he brushed past her, knocking shoulders and said, “You shouldn’t have come back.”

She watched, blurry eyed, as the boy who she still loved ran up the BAU steps and back to the round table. She felt her breath hitch and then she felt her body lower itself into the chair that just so happened to be Spencer’s. She needed to get a control on her emotions. She couldn’t break down— she needed to help The Team help her. 

Finding a stalker was hard work, apparently, because it was nearing the late hours of the night and there was still no face to the tyrant who so badly wanted Y/N’s attention. The Team was beginning to burn out, frustrated with the lack of answers. With the lack of safety for their old friend. With the lack of anything that wasn’t naked pictures of Spencer’s Old Girl and threats directed from some deranged place of love. 

After Spencer’s meltdown, the two hadn’t talked— let alone made eye contact. It wasn’t without effort though, Y/N had been doing her best to get The Boy Wonder to look her way. Unfortunately though, he seemed to have his own thoughts on the matter. He had kept his back to her for the last three hours. Instead, focusing on the white board in front of him. 

Taped to one side of the board were pictures of Y/N as well as the threats she had received in the past few months. Spencer could barely look at that side— he had been focusing his efforts on the left bit. His eyes had been locked on the few leads they did have. Which, to be summed up, was nothing. The Team had The Victim look at the men on the wall— none of which she knew, to their disappointment. This discovery drove them no farther than they were when the girl first walked in. 

It was when Y/N was growing antsy again when Hotch’s rough voice spoke up. “We’re not getting anything done here. I think we take the night and come back with fresh eyes. Yes?”

A moment passed, then two. No one moved to disagree with the boss. Y/N stayed put in her seat, watching as her old friends began to pack up their belongings and file out— not without a few comforting words in passing. The Young Girl sighed, standing too, until she noticed a certain genius still staring at the wall, arms crossed. 

He had abandoned the sweater that he once wore and was now sporting his well-fitting button down. And damn, it looked good. It was this deep maroon color that he wore so well (Her eyes committed the image to memory, not wanting to forget what a handsome hunk he was. Because, honestly, she knew after all this was done, she’d never be seeing him again). He had rolled the sleeves up to his bicep and unbuttoned the top two buttons, as well as losing the tie that once brought the whole look together. His beautiful curls were aggressively frizzy, sticking up in all the wrong places. It took everything in her not to reach up and fit it, like she used to. 

She wanted to speak, she wanted to reach out to the boy. She knew that he hated her— she knew that he was beyond angry with her. She had so many things she needed him to know— needed him to understand. But, now wasn’t the time. Now definitely wasn’t the time to get into the nasty bits that was their past. No, now was the time to save her from the impending doom of this goddamn stalker. 

“Spencer?” She asked, before she could stop herself. The boy turned, aggravated— with her, with the situation, with everything. His arms dropped, hands stuffing themselves in his pockets. He bounced on his feet, eyes tired. She continued, “I-I know that you hate me—”

“— I don’t hate you,” It was a lie. She knew that. She knew he was lying, she knew that he was just saying things to make her feel better.

So, she said, “Look, I, um— do you think— could you—”

The angry boy, who’s anger was once again draining with every breath— she had that effect on him—sighed and let the tension leave his body, “Do you want me to take you home?”

Sheepishly keeping the eye contact she had longed for, for so long, she nodded. The girl pulled her arms into her chest, “That would be really great. . . only if you can, though. I don’t want to put you out.”

Another sigh and another bullet to the heart— only this time to Y/N’s and not her ex lover’s. Spencer collected his few things and placed a soft hand on her back, leading her out. And just for a moment, for a moment, it felt like old times. It felt like everything was okay and that they were going back to their place and that everything was perfect. 

Sadly though, life was no fairy-tale for the two and there was no perfect ending. The two once lovers sat in the boy’s car, silent and awkward. They were only a few streets from Spencer’s—their old place— place, stopped at a red light. The light was finding it’s way into the car, flashing a beautiful hue on the boy next to her. One of his hands was holding tight to the wheel, the other was laying on the arm rest between them. It took every bone in the girl’s body to not reach out to feel him— it had been so long. She missed his touch. 

Maybe it was that feeling that made her do it. Maybe it was just how beautiful he looked that made her say it. Maybe it was the love that she still carried for him (even after all these years) that made her tell him. 

“I’m afraid to be alone.” It was quiet and it held all the emotion she had been hiding all day. Spencer’s heart, though ever angry, broke a little for her. 

The boy looked over, his mouth opening to ease her in whatever way he could. Before a word left his mouth, the light turned green and the spell was broken between the two. He pushed through, foot pressing on the gas, “You, uh, you can stay with me, if you want.”

“Really?”

“Well, i-it’s just until after we catch this guy.” He paused, blinker on, car passing, turning left, “Then, you go back to whatever life you created.”

“—I didn’t—”

“And then, I’ll go back to pretending you didn’t break me.” Yet another bullet to the heart. She deserved that though, she knew it too. 

“I’m sorry, Spencer.”

Another pause of conversation, another blinker and another turn. Then they were home— they were back to Spencer’s. The walk to the small apartment wasn’t a long one. Especially with her body leading the way— muscle memory. What surprised her most was that he hadn’t changed much. Books still cluttered the tables and floors, globes and maps still sporadically placed around each room. The only thing that caught her eye was the lack of photos on the walls— what used to be a map of their relationship was replaced with a white wall. 

“Looks the same.” she nodded, unmoving from her awkward stance by the door. “Looks like you.”

He snorted— though, there was no actual humor bedded within. Y/N watched as he stripped his bag from his body, then slipped off his shoes and off with his jacket. They stood together, wishing it was different. Wishing they could go back. Wishing there was no anger. Wishing, wishing, wishing. They’d be wishing for the rest of time. 

Like before, like the last night, he was moving fast, breath hitching, “How long?”

“How long?” She echoed him, moving too. Still under the spell, she’d follow him anywhere. 

“How long have you—” The boy cut himself off, hands in his curls, pulling them apart—unmarrying the best ones. “How long have you had this problem and not done anything?”

Before she had a chance to tell him, he was whirling on the poor girl, eyes wild, “You should’ve came to us— came to me.” His voice broke at the end, and Y/N could’ve kicked herself for causing him all this pain.

The heartbreaker sighed, “Spencer—”

“Y/N, I’m not playing around. How long?”

A sigh, a look to the floor, then back at him, “I don’t know, really. Maybe six months?”

Another sigh, this time from Spencer. He was sitting on the couch now, defeated, head in hands. “Maybe?”

“I’ve kind of had other things on my mind, Spencer!” It was bitter, angry, but not at him. It was directed at the jackass that had been stalking her. She joined him on the old seat, leaning back and pulling her legs off the floor. 

A moment passed between the two— it wasn’t angry or awkward and didn’t hold any resentment, it was just comfortable and that surprised the two considering they hadn’t seen each other in over two years. It was just so easy to fall back into what they used to be. 

She looked over at her boy. The window’s curtains were pushed open, the street lights making their way in. Spencer had turned on a lamp in the corner, as well. It was mixing with the lights from outside and casting a beautiful glow on her boy. He was looking down at his hands that were folded in his lap. A pensive look had made its home on his face. 

“What’s goin’ on in that big brain of yours?” Y/N laughed, quiet and everything he had missed. The girl bumped shoulders with the boy next to her. He managed a smile, small, but still it was there. Y/N counted that as a victory. 

The smile was gone as quickly as it appeared. Spencer cleared his throat and said, “Did you know that sixty-eight percent of stalking victims reported that their stalker physically harmed them?”

Another beat passed. Spencer had turned to look at her now, eyes heavy. Y/N was looking at her knees now, trying to ignore the fear that wanted to bubble up. “And?”

“A-And?” His whole body turned now, one leg folded between the two. His arm closet to the couch had made home on the top of the sofa back, fingers tapping— nervous tick. He had placed other hand on Y/N’s knee, trying to be comforting. She accepted his attempt, thankful for him. “Y/N, I’m saying that could’ve been you. You should’ve come to me when this first started.”

Y/N finally let her eyes meet his. And god, she could’ve cried right then and there. He was so beautiful. She missed him so much. Breaking her spell, she shook her head, “Spencer. . . I didn’t want to ruin anything you might’ve had going on.”

“Ruin any— Y/N/N, you’re not ruining anything by asking for help.” The boy sighed, looking away. His hand tightened once on her leg and her stomach erupted in the same way it always did with him around. Quieter, so quiet she almost missed it, he said, “The only way you’d ruin anything would be by leaving.”

“I’m sorry, Spencer.” The girl caught his eye again, shaking her head. Tears blurred her eyes again. Her hair, now out of it’s bun, fell into her face. With a shaky hand, Spencer batted it back behind her ear. A blush rose on her cheeks, as Spencer’s hand moved to wipe the few tears that had managed to fall. Her voice was thick with tears and it broke him. “I really am, you know?”

A sigh, then a nod from her boy. “Can I ask you something?”

“Always, Spence.” The name struck a cord in his heart, but he let it slide. He had no more energy to fight with her, no more energy to stay angry with his girl. He had nothing left. He was giving up his angry phase— he was letting it flow from his body like sand through sieve. He was giving in to her and the small bits of love that he still held for the beauty in front of him. 

“Why’d you do it? Leave, I mean.”

Yet another bullet to her heart. “. . . I don’t know.”

He was moving again. His hands pulled away from her body as if she had burned him— because honestly, she might as well have. With that bullshit response, she might as well have slapped him— to him, there would’ve been no difference and the outcome would’ve been the same. He stood up, back to her. His hands came back up to his hair and she willed him not to pull apart the remaining curls. “That’s bullshit, Y/N! And you know it. . . I-I’m sorry. Just, just don’t lie to me anymore.” 

Y/N stood too, arms up in surrender. Arms open like he had a gun pointed at her— because to her, there was no difference between the weapon he wore on his hip everyday and the weapon that spilled from his lips. His back was still to her, so she reached out to touch his shoulder. Careful, not to startle the boy. She wanted to see him, she needed to see him. For a second, her breath was gone, her mind taking her back to that night. She could’ve laughed at how similar the situation was, only reversed. Only now, she was the one begging to be touched, to be listened to. Only now, she was the one who was broken. 

Instead of jerking away like he did all those years ago, he turned, sadness present on his face. Y/N’s heart broke for him. Y/N’s heart broke for herself. Her heart broke for the both of them. “I was scared, okay? I was just so scared.”

He turned fully, hands mindlessly finding their way to her hair. They tangled themselves in, tilting her head up. His voice was lower than she had ever heard. It was just barely above a whisper and she fucking loved it. If they were in a different situation, she would’ve been weak in the knees. “Scared? What, Y/N/N?”

She sighed, “I don’t know. . . Scared I’d lose you, scared you’d get hurt and I wouldn’t be there in time. I was just scared, Spence.”

Maybe it was her words that caused his reaction. Maybe the truth he could see behind them. Or maybe it was the emotion that felt so genuine. Whatever it was, he felt himself loosen. He felt the remaining anger dissipate, he was suddenly forgiving her for everything. Because he finally understood. He, for once, wasn’t having to jump to conclusions. For once, he felt they were equals. And because of this, he was pulling her closer, never wanting to let her go. And she was holding him just as tight. 

“I’m sorry.” The words were spoken, truthful. Only this time, they weren’t coming from her. No, this time, they were coming from The Tall Genius. And she was pulling back. 

“Sorry? Why are you sorry?”

The boy laughed, true and genuine. For once, she could see it reach his eyes. She’s always loved that about him— the fact that he was always able to smile through it all. Through all his pain, he was still able to find the happiness. “I’m at fault too, you know. One person can’t cause all of the destruction.”

“No, you’re perfect.” She believed it too. 

“Trust me, I’m not perfect.” He paused, then added. “At all.”

Her hands made their way home— to the sides of his face. She noticed the way he leaned into her touch— he had missed her just as much. Maybe even more. “You’re perfect to me, Spence.”

He laughed again— music to her ears. She wished she could listen to it for the rest of her life. So, she said, “Don’t ever let me go, okay?”

He nodded, suddenly serious, “We’ll get this guy, and then I’ll never let you go again. Not until the day I die.”

And like she had wanted to since she had seen him earlier in the day, she pulled him to her. A kiss shared between them wouldn’t fix everything, but it sure was a start (and that’s all that mattered). “Not even then.”

A dazed look in his eyes. The same one he had after every shared kiss and every time she said she loved him. Though mind far off, he nodded and agreed, “Not even then.” 

Then he kissed his girl again— like his life depended on it.

Because, even after all these years, it probably did. 

[faepunkprince]

*Gets out the popcorn*

Tell us about Valentine's revenge streak, what'd he do to the people who hurt him? As many gory details as you want 🙂

Oop ok so I dunno how much detail I'm gonna put in but im stickin this under a readmore

This got long and is dark, this is your warning. Heavy topics ahead.

Now, recovery for him took quite a while, but the hatred and rage he felt at what they put him through stayed so fresh. He almost considered not going back for revenge, but something in him had snapped going through all of that. They'd taken any bit of innocence he'd had left, had left him broken and mostly dead and the repeated, constant abuse was enough to fully break something inside.

He tracks down some of the ones loosely connected at first. Those ones are quick, but the feeling of their blood on his hands is exhilarating, it makes him crave more. He's not an experienced killer yet but by the time he'll make it to the ones higher up he will be. Valentine's goddamn near feral, tracking them down one by one and getting increasingly more twisted in how he kills them.

Getting to the more memorable ones, he starts taking his time with them. Catches them off guard, keeps them in filthy conditions, locked up tight. He hadn't bothered replacing his eye yet, hadn't had the money, but that's fine, he uses that to his advantage.

Gets in the first ones face, an off-kilter grin on his lips, and the terror that inspires fuels such a lovely reaction, his tone taunting he states " haven't even touched you and you're already screamin. Best save your breath, gonna be here a minute!"

Valentine only keeps him as long as it takes to get information on the ones in charge, truly in charge, and while he does still kill him, it's still fairly quick. He's on to the next, more and more frenzied the closer he gets, more and more vicious and brutal. Breaking bones, fueled by them screaming and begging for mercy. Every time one of them begs it sets him off, and where the Valentine yall know might just get it over with quick (if he needed to kill) dark au Valentine only gets more vicious when they beg, cuts into them harsher, kicks and punches or beating them with a weapon, unable to keep from asking them if they'd ever bothered to give him any mercy.

"Mercy?! Mercy?! Did you bother to give that chained up kid any mercy?! Did you think for a second while you beat me that it might bite you in the ass? For a fuckin instant did you feel sick when you heard me scream? You got off on hearing me beg and plead! But I get it now! Oh, don't you beg so fuckin pretty, go ahead, give me more!"

That one dies as he's in that rage and he's so pissed afterward he breaks his hand punching the wall, and quickly its on to the next. Valentine considers briefly going after everyone they'd sold his body to, but he's got no real way of figuring out everyone, so he let's that go. But, he's running out of men. It had only been three or four people directly in charge of keeping him there and hurting him, one man in particular called the shots. Going through contact info, he sends the man a grisly gift, a promise. A piece of his friend, an anonymously sent clip of his begging. He delights in the panic he gets in response.

Second to last man he lures in, but it's harder for him this time. He struggles, despite all the anger, this one fights back, pins him down and has him frantic, in his head. The man taunts and teases him, pins his arm behind him, wrenching it painfully, and the way he handles him had Valentine completely outside himself. He doesn't remember what happened or how after that, but he comes to with blood and flesh in his teeth, new marks on his own body, but absolutely covered in blood that isn't his. The corpse is in pieces, mangled, like a wild animal had gotten ahold of it. There's no way to identify who it was, and the sheer amount of gore and viscera gets to him, shakes him to his core.

He knew going after revenge like this is fucked up, he knew he was doing horrible things but he never thought he could do something like that. He almost goes home, shaken, but that night he has another horrible night terror about what they did to him and he knows he isn't their first victim.

For them, for the kids that didn't make it, he'll continue on. He settles right back into that terrifyingly comfortable headspace, that urge to hurt coming back at the thought of another person being forced to live through the things he went through those years. He's making the world safer. He's doing the right thing. He spends time agonizing all while still tracking him, spends time healing, spiraling deeper and deeper. He wants this. He wants to lash out.

He likes it.

Finally, the one responsible for luring him in- Duc Angevin, the only one he knew by name. By the time he gets to Angevin he's completely spiraled, fully within the grips of paranoia and rage with the misplaced belief that ridding the world of Duc Angevin would make everything better- would make him better, he takes Duc back to the scene of the crime, ignores the itching under his skin at the sight, ignores the stains still there on the concrete. The way his skin crawls, and he feels the familiar haze over him just at the sight, it makes him sick to his stomach, but this is all part of the ritual to make him better, he just has to tough it out a few days, thats all.

Duc naturally pleads for him not to do this, trips over himself trying to tell him it wasn't his idea, to which Valentine snaps and says he doesn't want to hear it.

It starts slow, this time its intimate, at one point Valentine's even sitting on Duc's lap in a mockery of how Duc had used him before, hands so gently on his face, thumb through the blood already there, a soft laugh bubbling up, right up until he digs his thumb into Angevin's eye, that laugh taking on a crazed edge. The way Duc screams thrills him- he remembers the pain, remembers how he'd screamed, and a scarily large part of him loves hearing it.

He keeps Duc alive for days, talks to him, makes him think he has a chance before he ultimately ends it, hesitating only a second before pulling the trigger. Yet instead of vindication he just feels.... empty.

A string of corpses and yet every shadow or loud sound still makes him jump. All these bodies and still he's sure every face on the street is someone who'd fucked himself while he was strung out. Taken advantage of him

Why didn't he feel better?

Valentine looks at Duc's corpse and wonders how many times he almost died. Why he's still alive now. Why was he saved? He flies into a rage again, mutilating the corpse as if it'll give him more answers. Faced with nothing, he nearly ends himself, but something in him resists.

He walks away further damaged than he was before and with much more blood on his hands, but he knows he doesn't have to check over his shoulder at every second. He returns to the city, deep in the grips of his drug and alcohol habit, and expects to die any day, his busy taken care of.