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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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roommate katsuki lore time:
your job isn’t as physically demanding as that of a pro-hero, but it is equally, if not more time intensive. your friends often comment you seem dead on your feet way more often than they do, and you have to agree. so when you decide to scrounge up some extra money and hire a private chef, you think it’s the best decision you’ve made in a while.
your friends would seem to agree—and some tease that maybe you should ask your guy if he can cater to izuku, too. except for katsuki, who seems appalled, betrayed, and disgruntled. it takes all but one week about you gushing over the meals your chef has prepped for you for katsuki to show up to your apartment in the middle of the day, while you’re at work, and the chef is in your kitchen, kindly ask him to leave forever, and get to work himself. when you come home, you’re confused and pissed when you realize katsuki has fired your saving grace, but the anger falls flat on your tongue when you’re interrupted by the blonde spoon-feeding you the most delicious bite of steak that you’ve ever had in your entire life. he’s way too smug watching you physically melt about the food, and ordering you to sit down and have a proper meal.
he tries not to be endeared by your stuffed cheeks, but there’s a satisfaction brewing in him that he can’t quite place. all he knows is it won’t be taken away from him again; that’s why he flicks your forehead, throws a dish towel over his shoulder, and says, “make room for my shit here by the end of the week. and don’t complain when i put all your spoons together in one drawer,” before heading over to the sink to wash up.
you don’t even get until the end of the week before katsuki is barreling into your apartment with boxes and clothes and, “this is what we call a stainless steel pan in the wild. ever seen one before?” prompting you to reach up and pinch his ear even as he cackles all the way to the kitchen. you suppose, in the end you can’t complain. you get to live with your best friend, you get free catering, free cleaning, and it takes you two months of living together to find out katsuki’s paid off your rent for the rest of the year, too. you know, what friends are for.
#you ask him what happened to the rent money for the month go and hes like well how much did u think a set of#'eight of those super pretty french pots' cost like boy did u use my money to buy le creuset????.... carry on#(he's joking he bought them himself)#he moves in (you didnt ask him to) and complains about EVERYTHING and then fixes it all anyway#like baby girl YOU CAN GO HOME! TO YOUR HOUSE! YOU DONT HAVE TO BE HERE (he does and he wont leave)#btw he moves in and shoto is like...................... r u two fuckin serious and is appalled nobody else is seeing what he's seeing#every time i write katsuki just know i want to hit him with the aforementioned frying pan#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader#wrote this like i would
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Crafting forecast has changed! Some local organizations are looking for, well, a lot of things for disaster relief, but the one I can help with is the request for baby blankets so I am switching into baby blanket mode for I don't know how long
#the person behind the yarn#at least a week probably#depends on what fabric I have on hand and when I can get to the store#I might try to use what I have on hand and hope joanns does another sale this weekend?#because I just missed their last sale on flannel#but I can make patchwork flannel blankets#and regular quilts#Basic Baby Quilt Time#I am rarely so aware of my physical limitations as at times like this#where I really want to help. and I might be able to! but if I am wrong about how much I can help#someone will have to leave the location where we are working to take me home#and if I am honest it's not a question of IF I will have to leave early but WHEN#so I am more helpful by not going because other people won't have to leave early#if my stupid circulatory system would just cooperate I could help! I used to!#I have the muscle mass to move things it's just not reliable because of my everything else
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1.06 / 2.09 (33)
#the way they both cling to their families while in distress#their families are their most cherished people that they somehow can't reach#Hürrem has literally lost them long ago#while Ibrahim has reunited with them and has placed them close to him due to his own love for them and his position in the castle#but it's precisely that same position that distances him from them and *will* distance him from them even *more* down the line#the reactions here also reveal how Hürrem and Ibrahim view death#Hürrem embraces it because she's lost so much already#they always want to separate her from the family she has and the family she's built in some way#and it's like they succeeded here - it has already happened - she's taken from Süleiman the only other person she could latch onto and from#her child she was going to have from SS that would show that she was actually going to keep on that she can't be separated from her family#*this time* not so easily but it's over it's done it seems so let her go to her mother and father at least let her return to them#let her reunite with them that's all she can have after she's already dead#after she's failed and the evil in the palace has seemingly taken over - in her E01 dream it was *they* who made her push forward#in order to commemorate them in the first place; she doesn't mention her sister tho even though she was there in the dream too#and I think that's because at this point Hürrem searches for protection for *help* and her parental figures can provide that to her#more than anyone else; namely they guided her in her dream mainly her mother so she goes first#it all also goes to show how her latching onto SS is a gradual process as she calls him only later#Ibrahim clings to life as embracing death would indeed mean losing absolutely everything completely#*fully* separating from his family he returned to found and reunited with after he wasn't sure about whether it's even possible#and what's more he has both his past and current family in front of him in the present; he can't let that go he *won't* let that go#so he urges his father and Niko not to leave him as in not to let him give up to help him in the fight he thinks he can still win#but he doesn't mention his mother namely because she isn't there in that picture she's fully gone and already symbolizes#a more distant past that wounds Ibrahim too much and he comes to want to evade as this ep is soon after#his scandal with Hatice; no wonder she appears in E44 and urges him to go home thus to go back as he wants to move on so badly#more subconsciously than even the usual#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#hurrem sultan#ibrahim pasha
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one of my favorite clark headcanons that i have (that is completely unsupported by canon) is that he's transgender by kryptonian standards. martha and jon kent raised him as a boy and as he grew up he never had any reason to doubt it at all, he was like yeah i'm a boy, makes sense. and then he gets to the fortress of solitude for the first time and it turns out how Gender works on krypton was just Different enough that clark doesn't really fit the kryptonian standards of whatever he was supposed to be. bonus points because this makes him feel like even more of an outsider as a kryptonian, even if he's the last one left.
#do i know what those kryptonian gender customs are? no and i kind of don't care to come up with them#just cuz that's not my favorite thing to do but someone else can if they like my idea#i just love the idea of 1) trans clark 2) clark discovering his heritage but also as he learns more about his heritage#realizing that because of how he was raised- and it was nobody's fault- even though it's the only explanation for why he's so different#from humans he still can't help but feel like he's not a real kryptonian either#brought to you by THIS STARTED AS A FUN HEADCANON FOR HIM TO BE TRANS IN A COOL ALIEN WAY#BUT TURNED OUT TO BE ACTUALLY PROJECTION OF SOME PERSONAL SHIT I HAVE ONLY CONSCIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT LIKE TWICE SO OOPS#bluebird.txt#superman#was watching superman 1978 and i don't have any real thoughts about it yet but i'm just rotating in my head#that jor-el said 'this is your home.' when describing krypton.#like. he's never been there. he can never go there. it doesn't exist anymore and he will be raised human.#he will be raised in a world that is so completely unlike his own and he will not grow up with as a kryptonian.#and yet jor-el says of krypton 'this is your home.'#like just give me a moment.#so interesting to me who considers who what. some guy in high school#told me i wasn't mexican because i din't recognize some candies my (cuban) teacher brought back when he visited mexico#he said i wasn't even latino#well first of all that guy was a first-class asshole seriously my kudos to him#for having such an impressive amount of hatred and unhappiness in his little soul#second of all. he didn't think i was latino. my own sister only calls me mexican when it's convenient for her#my parents are proud of their american children and in high school my mexican (as in grew up there) friend wa always proud#to call me a fellow mexican (or at least a chicana)#so i just find it so fascinating that in this movie jor-el says son you will never know your birthplace your parents's home firsthand#but it is your home.#my parents would never EVER call mexico my home i don't think they'd even call it THEIR home#i just. i'm thinking about it a lot.#high fives clark kent in child of immigrants and everything that means swag solidarity
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Do we think odysseus's thoughts are almost stuck in quick thought from how often Athena popped up into his head? Because I absolutely do
#Athena#Odysseus#Quick thought#Epic the musical#It happened slowly#Odysseus didn't notice at first#Everything started happening quicker for odysseus. Now he's always been quick both on his feet and his mind in how he draws his arrows but#Lately things have felt a little different#Almost as if he was a second ahead of everybody else and then as the years went by he started to notice the drag more and more#How it felt like the quick thought was stretching out longer and longer after Athena left#During the war it seemed like years would past before he was back in sync with the world#And the thing is odysseus recognizes that being touched by a god has changed him made him...different but he didn't care#It was cool it was an advantage it bound him to Athena proof that they were friends that he could handle having a goddess of war in his lif#It won't be till much later that it'll burn because. /shes not here/ but the hint of quick thought remains and#It burns because so many gods have been playing with him not as a friend or a mentor but just. Because they could because they wanted to#It burns because he can see calypso reach for him second before she does and if he flinches....#It burns because it's just another reminder of things he's lost and he misses his friend and he wants to go home but#It's been years and still his mind is a a few seconds ahead of the world and it. Hurts. So much it hurts#The only time it ever stopped was with penelope and diomedes telemachus. Athenas other chosen. Being around them#It was the only time odysseus felt normal#Not me using the tags to write out a whole ass story#Might actually turn this into a fic
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ive talked to a lot of ppl who have taken vyvanse now and i think ik a bit more on how i need to live on it
#1) dopamine drops on lower dosages or high dosage but in the evenings feel like hell and it wont ever stop you have to just breathe#you will stop breathing well and you wont notice it so you have to remember to breathe deeply. this helps immensely for some reason#2) you will stop processing the existence of food as a consumable thing and not just an object like Table or Cardboard. you will not want to#eat anything. you have to buy meal replacement shakes. sweetness is one of the only pleasant flavours. eat protein. eat as much protein as#you can. down those meal replacament shakes. get enough for a day. try not to into calorie deficits on vyvanse.#3) your mind will be searching for cognitively complex tasks and everything else dwarfs in comparison. dont lay down. do something.#4) you have to exercise. fully exercise at the gym not a home 20 min work out. you need to push your body right now so that you can be ok#5) nothing will be as intense and vivid and beautiful and there will be a layer of seperation between you snd reality even on a lower dosage#this is fine. this is the primary price. sunlight helps and so does doing complex tasks but you cant avoid this. remind yourself that this#is a self-induced thing and its temporary and itll fade.#6) youve been ship of theseus'd into a new person and this effect only increases later into the day. any conclusion you reach about yourself#is most likely not applicable to your non-vyvanse self.#7) carry chapstick around. keep drinking water. dry mouth starts 5 minutes after taking it#8) some of your friends have a reduced range of emotion and this makes them more stable but less capable of experiencing intense joys#and sadnesses. look at them. listen to their perspective. live like them when youre on the medication.#9) music is still gorgeous#10) you will feel very hot very fast. wear layers you can take off.#11) pick up a bow and shoot. keep shooting. keep going. shoot at least 50 arrows if you can. feel the pain in your arms and your shoulders#and then keep shooting.
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THE ORDER OF PALMS An order of holy folk that serve The Helm, working to create powerful Aasimar Paladins for the purpose of protecting any who hire their help. [BACKSTORY UNDER CUT]
One day, Gjör and her peers were lead by their mentor Opheria, to a mission far from their home. On the peak of that mountain village, they saw upon the horizon, the castle of their home go up in flames. Horrified and scared, the apprentices sought to follow their mentors guidance, and followed her lead into a small barn. It was there, that Opheria proceeded to slaughter each and everyone of the apprentices. It seemed she somehow had a hand in this sudden attack on the Order of Palms. Gjör D'annevual survived a sword through the 'heart', on account of a rare condition, that places her heart on the other side of her chest. When she finally managed to bring herself back home, the Order was insulted by her survival. She had so many better peers, why couldn't any of them have survived? This runt was seriously the only thing that survived Opherias wrath? It was better to just wash their hands clean of this. Thus the Order decided to banish Gjör from their ranks. She now travels the land in search of a purpose.
#luckys original content#dungeons and dragons#MY OCSSSS MY WONDERFUL OCSSS ITS BEEN SO LONGGGG!!this is a fairly old character that i made foreeeever ago#i was trying to go full on into DND LORE ONLY instead of makin up my own stuff. so when i was lookin around i learned abt THE HELM#the god of protection or watever it was. i also like playing paladin bc i love to hit things w my sword. i also like aasimars bc theyrprett#im sure i ahd other Min Maxy reasons for her but i dont have her sheet n ive forgotten everything. never got a chance to play her but yknow#maybe someday. I LIKE HER ALOT TOO. big and strong and well meaning but a lil dumb. justa lil dense n stupid. but she tries!!#I LIKE CHARACTERS THAT HAVE JUST SMALL THINGS DIFERENT ABT THEM. i knew some1 who had that condition. where everythings just flipped#aint that fucked up? that ur organs can just be flipped? and inever see it in fiction. its so neat. imagine finding out like THIS too#she had blacked out from the sword through the heart. the last thing she heard from her mentor was;#'you were a great student. that is why you above all else must die. i hope you understand' spoken through a gentle voice and a gentle smile#the very same that had guided Gjör so far through her journey.A BETRAYAL LIKE NO OTHER! she awoke utop a pile of comrades#each bloodied and dead and cold. she used her own magic to heal herself. to catch herself from the precipice of bleeding out#when she stepped out of the barn she had found that the village was burned to the ground#she was shellshocked!! it took her weeks to limp all the way back down that mountain. all the way back to the place she called home#only to be spit on and kicked back out. being a Paladin of the Palms was her entire life. what was she to do now?#OH SO THE ART. I RLY LIKE HER DESIGN.heavily based off of THE BABY SITTER from HALO LEGENDS. i fuckin love halo so much guys.....#i just love that trope of Big Strong Person in Armor that we all thought wasa fullgrown MAN takes off the helmet to revel shesa PRETTY GIRL#my favorite in the WORLD!! i also like the silly frilly pretty dress sorta motif in gjors armor. it hides all the stuff i dont wanna draw#thats all the ramble i got in me for now. PLEASE ENJOY. and ask me abt my ocs
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How do I let Seven know that I would drop this band and literally everything else if it meant I could choose her this time. I'm so sick
#infamous if#seven lawless#trick question sage would write about it in so many songs and hope seven would answer#but I think seven is literally the only thing she sees anymore at this point she is so over everyone and everything. and I think#seven showing up here when she feels at her absolute worst. and *already* feeling very alone and that the band is going to abandon her#(even if that belief isn't based in reality but it makes sense to her) like. idk in the environment she's in I think#she'd attach herself entirely to seven. because she's like a life preserver and she feels safe. home. it's all she has#no one else is in her mind. she desperately hopes seven can see that. sage won't betray her ever again
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they tried delivering the second of my two peter hammill tour posters today but for some fucking reason it requires a signature. a poster. a piece of paper rolled up in a tube for which i paid less than $100. please just give me the poster. please. i am so tired
#i can only imagine its because its coming from greece but like. whyyyy..#the other one was from england and they just left it on the front porch. like everything else i get......#anywya im making my mom go get it from the post office while im at work bc the office closes before i get off#and she has to take the physical notice they gave me with my signature on it she cant even sign on my behalf#i would just ask them to deliver it again tomorrow and ask to call me so i can get it but i dont trust them to actually call me lol#(i work in another building behind my house and idk if anyone will be near the front door or home at all when they knock)#(so the delivery guy would HAVE to call me or else i wont know theyre there. like today!!)#and i will actually start throwing things if they send it back to athens. so im not risking it#'good story twig' THANKS!!!!!#a beast that can talk#babble burble banter
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yeah its been like 2 months already but the comment of me being in the closet being one of the reasons they cant be w me rly stuck. and i would be lying if i didnt think abt it at least once a week lol
#you take something im very sensitive about (being in the closet) and you apply it to my relationship... and say that its BECAUSE of it#that we arent compatible........... yeah that for sure isnt gonna stick :)))#like i keep thinking about it and its like. in this day and age in my specific circumstances#(feeling more masculine. being more confident when i look/feel more masculine. not being able to LOOK more masc bc of my parents. etc)#it would be so hard for me to date or even meet anyone new. like. first of all i have to meet new ppl. which the best way to do#is to go to gay parties. which dont happen that often AND i can go when the stars align (me being available+friends wanting to go)#and then. i have to TALK to ppl. which i dont do bc im closed off like that. THEN we have to be compatible. and everything else#that goes after that. i will literally never be able to date anyone atp like this is crazy. and obviously its no ones fault. OBVIOUSLYYYY.#but holy fuck that comment rly stung. and idc that they said that of course they understand how hard it was for me to be in the closet.#it seemed like they DIDNT understand. not really. like im sorry my safety at home comes before us seeing each other. i always feel#like im doing something wrong at home so doing something that my parents definitely wouldnt approve of is a very big step for me#like the entire trip to vlc. yes i was nervous bc i was seeing them but also bc. i was going on a FOUR HOUR TRIP without my parents knowing#like fun fact but if i had traveled the week i was planning on traveling. i would NOT have been able to get back. bc of the floods.#like i literally risked so much. and i kept thinking abt it the entire trip there#xarra xarra
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Literally who describes about their relationship with and the frustrating distance from another person "as though I were observing the starry sky from the bottom of a deep lake." Who compares the other person, infinitely complex yet also strangely comprehensible if you're willing to look past his seemingly cold exterior, to navigating through a rocky reef in the sea. Frickin' who does that. Who does that. Shaking you by the collar answer me. Answer me dangit
#genshin impact#neuvia#navillette#curling up in a ball in the corner rocking back and forth sobbing and blubbering incoherently. business as usual#i ain't gonna try to say it's canon because it surely is not and i'm totally ok with that (<- lie)#but just. why. why even. what was the purpose.#man i WAS born in the right generation#i love tormented dragon man perpetually conflicted about the nature of his identity#and the personification of everything beautiful about humanity being inexorably drawn to each other#i'm super duper cool and good and normal (<- shaking in her boots like a cornered animal)#no one has ever sun-and-moon-ed as hard as them i fear. this trope was created by them and for them everyone else go home#UGGGGHHHH. UGGGHHHHHHHHH. UUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH#yeah i made that moodboard when i was thinking about them can you tell#plan my funeral because i don't think i can keep this up much longer before just flat-out straight-up and outright death occurs
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letting myself unmask has been so nice at times because i'm seeing my boyfriend express joy much more readily too. who knew me being expressive and all that would do so much good!!!
#today was touch and go but overall much better than yesterday where i was watching a musical (not my thing) and it was legally blonde (cool)#but everyone's voices were so shrill (ouch) and the audience was clapping (ouch) and talking a lot (ouch)#and i was three rows back from the stage so the lights were bright (ouch) and there were strobe lights (ouch) and the person seated next to#me kept touching me when she turned to talk to the person next to her..... AND my joints were killing me but we had to walk everywhere from#the theatre to the restaurant we ate at for dinner. which was a byob. and i didn't know we were going to a byob or i would've b'd my own b#but my bf's family doesn't drink so it would've been awkward anyway. and no one talks to me and i don't talk to anyone but yet i'm expected#to be there for some reason (??) i'd rather stay home honestly. horrible time. i couldn't even vape because of said family#so i had zero pain or anxiety relief that whole time. and i had the longest meltdown in the theatre. and i couldn't finish bc intermission#so i had to just like. force it down so i could sit there in silence for 15 minutes while everyone else talked to each other.#and then after all that we still had a 40 minute car ride back home. with my bf's mom.#and then today she invited us to the park with her and my bf was like 'do you wanna?' and i couldn't say no in front of her so i said yes#and then felt SO anxious because god. i just needed A Day. so then i shut down. but then i communicated what i was needing to my bf#and we had a nice walk at a different park on our own. phew#i do Not mean to complain but goodness. pre-autism i would've blamed myself for everything that happened#but now i can properly commiserate with people who understand me LOL anyway. look at some of the crazy shit i went through yesterday
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im not even sure why i logged onto this account today i just did. hope thats cool. idk if ill be back tomorrow
#ghostly posts#i am like so tired.#uh. ive been falling off the dpth train. the ghosttrolls ideas thing. which is weird cause thats like. me. thats my thing man#never know what to do with any of my projects that i lost steam on#perhaps i keep it but i start over.#its been 6 years. jeeeeeeeeez REALLY SIX YEARS. thats insane bonkers crazytown bananapants#maybe it all just needs a refreshed take ig. maybe i can starte it over and be beter at it this time#gosh i started ghosttrolls. honestly to be frank i started it when i was so run down i didnt know what else to do in my free time#first job. 50+ hr weeks. still responsible for all the mess of four people at home. trying college. alll that stuff. never going anywhere#now ive moved homes likeeee hell. uh. four times? and everything is so different im so different#the type of story i like to read and write has changed. and actually i havent been writing. thats probably part of the problm#okay this is sssuch a ramble sorry#logging off rn#->i get emails when you send an ASK otherwise i might not see whatever. my regular notifs are broken srry. cool. see you
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...
#im at such a weird point in my life. trying to choose between a phd and a doomed life as an academic and like just not doing that.#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.#but then im just avoiding my responsibilities. i dunno. i just feel like i would be happier with a structured job that ends when the day#is over. which is y my dad thinks i should get a government job. one of my former lab mates got a government job and he's settling into#spending the rest of his life out in Colorado. which is so weird. i dont kno how long ill be in the place im in now. will it b 4 more years?#or will it be only a few months? will i go back to school in the fall? its looking like yes bc i dont have a job lined up. but maybe ill#keep applying and dip out. let my dreams die in favor of balance and sanity. maybe some things arent meant to be.#its just so gutting. i was talking to my coworker this week. saying that im interested in so many things. i could have studied anything else#and traveled a completely different path. and a guy across the room was like: its never too late. but it feels like its too late. too late#to spend another impossible amount of money on getting a different degree. restarting on a second masters project. im almost 30.#im supposed to b saving money so that i can not work forever. but i cant do that if im just a student forever. so maybe i should just get a#job. god. but theres so much i still want to learn. and im in the perfect program for everything i thought i wanted. im in the perfect place#but everything's falling to pieces. whatever. i. just tired bc im on day 5 of work and have to go in for a day 6.#doing something i havent done before all day. but after than im going home for a week. so ill have lots to contemplate in the airport.#this is not how i thought things would turn out. but im glad im spending the summer working where i am. im learning lots on a human to human#level. and no one bleieves im 27 bc i apparently have a bby face lol. nope im 11 yrs older than u my 16yo coworker#unrelated
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ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode
#crow.txt#the absolute levels of stress im under could create diamonds out of free floating carbon atoms my fucking god#can i have. Literally just one day of peace. just one!! fuck!!!!#at least now i have SOME validation from everyone else of shit that mom has honestly kinda always done#be absolutely furious and bitchy usually for no good goddamn reason and then immediately turn it off to look good in front of someone else#i had a feeling mom coming home was gonna be utterly miserable sooner rather than later#i literally cannot leave my room without her yelling for dad bc she thinks im him i guess. she has gotten him up like 4 times now#what the fuck do you want any of us to doooooooooooo. according to dad shes also just been really fucking hateful today#including to her SISTER who has been facilitating literally everything medically for her for the last month plus#like on one hand i know its hard and frustrating etc etc absolutely. on the other. what the fuck are you yelling at any of us for!#whatd we do! not a damn thing for the most part! holy shit im exhausted#and then im sure she will have the audacity to wonder why i dont really want to interact with her much rn#its very apparent she doesnt really understand whats going on or how much of anything works at this point including hospice care#but i truly cannot help you when your knee jerk response is to yell and be abusive. like. dads not been great either#bc hes also one to bitch and moan and yell abt shit. but like. so is mom. more than usual#and ill actually be damned if i let her treat me like that honestly ever again. like idk for once i can just#walk away from this behavior with zero consequences. i dont have to take it anymore. im not free but at least im fuckin closer than i was#guess my aunt wasnt kidding when she said her being coherent and rational last week might be the calm before the storm
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