#like even if i could change it i dont want to
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pro-hero!bakugou is so busy, as expected since he's a hero after all. a great one at that. he avoids relationships, because he's aware about how he cant properly manage his time. he wont go around giving hopes to people, he is a straight forward man.
but fuck, when he sees you in some movie premiere which his friend acts in, he really wants to try commit a relationship with you.
you're a journalist, he noticed from the mic you held and the logo around it. ah, you work for a big entertainment media or magazine? he's not sure. your body language shows that you're confident, he likes that.
he didn't even realize when you start talking to him.
“mr. dynamight, im (name) (last name) from vogue. can we ask you questions regarding the movie?” you asked politely.
“tch, dont make me wait too long.” he said, keeping the nonchalant act.
you gestures to your cameraman partner to get ready. once the camera is ready, you start to introduce yourself and him. he watches you with a small smirk, clearly enjoying this.
“dynamight, we hear that you're not a big fan of romcom movies, is that true? does this movie change your perspective of romcom movies?”
“yes.”
you furrowed your brows, confused.
“okay... moving on, who's the first one that comes to your mind when you hear 'queen or king of romcom'?”
“julia roberts. i think.” there's a questionable pause.
“i love her too! especially in notting hill. i watched notting hill when i was 14 and since then library date is my dream date.” you rambles, all giggly and smiley.
“have you been to one?”
“hm? im sorry?”
“the library date, i can take you. if you want to i guess.” his tone isn't exactly friendly but his reddened cheeks makes you realize that he doesn't mean it the mean way.
“id love to, y- yes— oh my god.” you stutter.
“i have to have your number then.”
since you don't carry your business card and there's only a pen, bakugou let you write your number on his arm.
“good, call you later, dollface.” within a blink he's gone.
your flabbergasted face is the only thing you could muster.
“is the camera still on?”
“its live.”
#mha x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#bnha x reader#bakugo katsuki#my hero academia#bakugou katsuki#mha#fanfic
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I mean tumblr while full of weirdness its not as likely to get hacked/broken into and stolen,
ive lost my account on twitter/x to people hacking my accounts and turning it to a porn bot 3 seperate times and somehow changing the email connected without sending me a confirmation email for it (i checked)
Its not even like my details got phished as far as i can tell, id just get on then my name was suddenly xgcdtl then bam its full of sexy gurls want to chat posts and links and i cant change or delete anything despite being the original owner best i could do was deactivate and i dont even know if that worked
and the only time i lost access to my tumblr once when because i forgot my password and my old email was inaccessible
Puchiko, do you prefer Tumblr or X?
"Hey bro do you prefer coffee, or bucket of slugs?"
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SAKUSA ANGST??????❤️
By the time Kiyoomi gets to home, the moon is halfway past the skyline and high in space, and the bright light trickles through the blinds, carving your disappointed features while Kiyoomi jumps at the sight of you, standing firmly in the living room.
"Jeez," he snickers, putting his keys on the counter. "You scared me, baby, what're you doing up-"
"I know, Kiyoomi."
His brows furrow in confusion, but behind his dark pools, you see shame. And his eyes always gave him away. “What? What’re you talking about?”
You blink lazily, “I saw Hinata. You weren’t with him. Told me you never even texted him.” You shake your head, “if you’re going to commit adultery, make sure you have all your bases covered.”
He stays silent for a moment, letting his eyes cast down and avoiding your judgmental, hurt gaze. A hand comes up to scratch the back of his head, pick at a hangnail, jam into his pockets, anything and everything to not meet your betrayed looks.
“How long?”
“Baby, I-“
“Do not pull that manipulative shit on me,” you say exhaustedly. “Don’t start with that nonsense. I want to know how long. And I want to know who.”
He finally meets your eyes, “I made a mistake-“
“No no. New couples make mistakes,” you snap, hoping that by yelling out your frustrations you won’t cry the hot tears swelling in your waterline. “We’ve been together three years, you don’t get to make those kinds of mistakes, you don’t get to tell me not to worry about one person, then cheat on me.”
When he slowly lowers his hands, guilt struck in his gaze, you feel bile rising up your throat.
“It’s… your PR manager. Isn’t it?” You chuckle. “Your “work babe”? The one you assured me was over and done with?”
“No no, you’ve got to listen to me-“
“After I specifically begged you to tell me it wasn’t true, after you assured me nothing funny was going down, after you told me you’d gone to their house to fire them-“
He looks away. Darts his eyes again. Your hands come up to cover your mouth, “oh my god… you… went there to be with them- YOU WENT THERE TO BE WITH THEM WHILE I WAS HOME? WAILING OVER YOU?!”
He says nothing to defend himself, and you scream and jump up and out of your seat, grabbing the nearest pillow and smacking him with it. He shields himself with his arms, ducking slightly from your swings, but he doesn’t say anything. Nothing to change your mind, sway your thinking or deny, deny, deny anything.
“You lied to me!” You sob, finally losing your composure. “You lied square to my face, for what! For THEM?!”
“Baby, listen-“
“DONT FUCKING CALL ME THAT, SAKUSA!” You shriek, throwing the pillow down and meeting his teary eyes with your enraged ones. “Don’t FUCKING start with me!”
He calls your name in an attempt to calm you down, extending his arms to create distance, “it was a mistake, I made mistakes.”
“And that’s a crock of shit.”
“I thought I was missing something, and I thought they could give it to me! Honest! It meant nothing, just meaningless dates and kisses to try and fill something inside that I needed, and-
“You are not helping yourself right now, Sakusa,” you pant.
“I wanted to leave them, I swear on my mother-“
“And you couldn’t manage to do that.”
“So now what?” He chokes. “So-So-So are we just done? Three years just gone?”
“Because of you.”
“I’m not going to let this happen,” he sobs, collapsing to his knees and wrapping his arms around your legs. “Please, don’t leave me. I’ll fire them. You can go with me.”
“Clearly firing them isn’t going to make a difference,” you snarl. “Since your tongues been down their throat and god knows what else.” You shake him off your legs and continue to look down at him in distain, “I’ll have the boys send for my things. I’m staying with Osamu. Do not contact me anymore.” You shake him off your legs, and he looks up at you like a kicked dog.
“No-“
“Yeah, you don’t get to say no, anymore,” you snap. “Since clearly you had a hard enough time doing it for them. I’m taking control of the situation now. You will never make a fool out of me again.”
“Please,” he begs, “I hated it, I hated all of it, I-“
“Stop lying, Kiyoomi,” you shake your head. “It’s not worth it. You’re not going to sway me.”
At that, Kiyoomi stops. His eyes blink a line of tears down, his hands rest in his lap, and his bottom lip trembles. You take a deep breath, “please let Osamu in when he comes for my belongings.”
He says nothing. He merely continues to stare up at you desperately, pleadingly, and you scoff before making your way down the hall to grab your packed bag. “Unreal,” you hiss. “You are unbelievable.”
“You don’t have to leave,” he chokes. “You can stay here, I’ll leave, I’ll go to Bokuto’s, he’ll-“
“He’ll let you in and stay with him after you have the nerve to cheat on me?” You scoff. “Bokuto is not an idiot. He’s not going to just ignore the shitty things you do because you’re his teammate.”
Kiyoomi knows that if you walk through that door, you’ll never come back. You know it’s tearing him up inside, you see it in his exhausted features and you know it in your soul.
Good.
#HEHEHEHEHEHEHEBEBEHEHEHE#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa kiyoomi angst#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#sakusa kiyoomi x reader angst#sakusa kiyoomi imagine#sakusa kiyoomi x gn!reader#sakusa kiyoomi haikyuu#sakusa#sakusa angst#sakusa x reader#sakusa x reader angst#sakusa x gn!reader#sakusa imagine#sakusa haikyuu#haikyuu#haikyuu angst#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x reader angst#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu x gn!reader#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x yn#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x y/n
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ultimately!
#ELIIIIIIII YOU CANT SAY THAT ELIIIIIIIIIIII#audiof from not even emily latest video go watch literally its so fuckingfunny#dont even ask me how eli fits in hance' 5'2 dad's clothes pls ok#my art#digital art#oc art#anthro art#not even gonna lie i thfought i wasnt gonan finish this but we pulled thru#if quality gets murdered i will cry#swhy are all my favorite drawings baby sugar and eliyah interacting#i like themb#i was gonna add fucking comical cartoon slipping noises when her antler popped off but imovie literalsly. it didnt work it wpuldnt let me#vid too biggy#also noahs ark esque announcement for ppl thta read my evil ramble tags i miiight nuke sanguinary univers bc i love my ocs too much to like#like i dont wanna marry my first idea and i love them too much to box them into a project I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE I FUMBLED LIKE#OK LITERALLY NO INSULT WHATSOEVER TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT BUT IT WAS my firsy ever comic and i feeeeel like i can do betteeerrr a#meowweooww#like if it was small things i wanted to change i could juts panel edit but its like. major things like when i started chapter 1 i had#LITERALLY NO PLAN JUST MY nerdy vampire obsession. which is still present. giggle h#breaking news boygirl learns that they arent rlly proudof the writing in comic thye started when they were a teenager#ALSO I LITERALLY HAVE LORE THAT IVE. BEEN MAKING THAT CONTRADICTS THINGS (? PROBABLY) SO ok trust me ok just trust m#also yes this is what i’ve been working on except that animatsuon i mentioned with eli crying because priorities or someth#not except wtf i mean insyead or some other shit#also i just looked at this wall of text on mobile and like ew shut up little gay
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even though the bad parent captain marvel thing is resolved, i'd still love some more scenarios from the JL's pov of marvel's 'bad' parenting. ONLY if you WANT to do it, if you dont then just ignore this request lol
like him telling freddy or mary to 'fuck off' or swear at them in general and threaten to steal their stuff or blackmail them (like normal siblings do -coming from a middle child with two siblings)
or maybe they hear freddy and mary ranting about marvel and they JL misinterprets their sibling rivalry as abuse
Marvel is a terrible parent. The JL knows it. It just flabbergasts them every time they see or hear about it because Marvel is literally the nicest person ever so why does he hate his kids?
Junior and Mary: *walking down a hallway in the Watchtower while complaining about Marvel*
Mary: “Says you. He was chasing me around with a darn stick trying to beat me yesterday.”
Junior: “You don’t have the right to complain. At least you could run.”
Mary: “I guess but Pedro was carrying you so you could get away too. So I think I have to right to complain.”
Flash: *had the unfortunate displeasure of hearing that*
Now why was a grown man running around after his kids and trying to beat them with a stick? Also what did Cap do to make it so that Junior couldn’t run away?? Flash knew he was magic, so he was hoping he just used some magic to bind his legs or something. Speaking of Junior…
Junior: *annoying Marvel*
Marvel: *looking more increasingly annoyed* “Junior. Please take five steps back from me before I decide to slap the shit out of you.”
Supes: *immediately looks over to them*
Junior: “No you won’t. You’re chicken-”
Marvel: *literally raises his hand to do it*
Supes: *looks extremely concerned*
Junior: *immediately shuts up*
Marvel: “Yeah that’s what I thought.”
Junior: “Bastard.”
Marvel: “You’re a bastard too. Anyways, want lunch?”
Junior: “Yeah, tacos.”
Clark got a little whiplash from the quick change of topic. Though, that entire interaction really does enforce that he does not care for these kids. It’s so unfortunately obvious. Another example of him not caring was when Marvel and the silver one were sent to go examine a cave on a deserted planet.
Marvel and Eugene: *staring at the ominous cave*
Marvel: *walks behind Eugene* “Well… go on.” *pushes him forward to the cave*
Eugene: “What do you mean go on?! I’m not gonna sacrifice myself for you!”
Marvel: “But we’re family.”
Eugene: “So? I’m not fighting a dang Xenomorph if one pops out.”
Marvel: “Don’t worry. We’ll fight it together.” *continued to push him, but is thankfully walking with him*
Batman saw this entire interaction when he was reviewing to body cams he forced the two to wear. Who just pushes their son into danger like that? He needed to have a talk with Marvel about his parenting.
Pedro: “Hey, which of us is your favorite?”
Marvel: *almost immediately* “Mary and Darla.”
Pedro: “Mary and Darla- why them?? Darla was eating crayons just the other day, and Mary is Mary.”
Marvel: “Okay and…? They’re still my favorites?”
GL: “Wait, who’s Darla?”
Marvel: “The purple one.”
At least he likes the purple one, Darla? They haven’t seen a negative interaction between her and Cap yet. Emphasis on yet.
#billy batson#dc captain marvel#shazam#captain marvel dc#fawcett city#fawcett#fawcett comics#mary batson#mary bromfield#freddy freeman#captain marvel jr#mary marvel#darla dudley#pedro peña#pedro pena#eugene choi
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BEG FOR IT 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
pairing; ceo!rafe x pa!reader
summary; getting in trouble with your boss is never good in any sense, but with the particular personality that rafe cameron has, you know you're in deep shit, no matter how completely accidental or unintentional your mistake was
content; abuse of power, boot humping, dacryphilia, humiliation
authors note; none
there are better situations to be in than yours, that’s for sure. walking towards the office of your boss, you wonder why you ever even decided that the business world would be a good place for you to step foot anywhere near, no matter how small or insignificant your role in it really is.
making a decision that could put this whole corporation at risk without even running it by anyone was never your intention, never your intention at all. it was a mere accident, you thought it was something random and unimportant you were doing, until mr cameron called you.
on the phone his voice had reeked of suppressed rage, even though he was quiet and calm, and he didn't use too many aggressive words, you could tell, you could tell because his voice had inadvertently struck the fear of god in you.
his office is on the very top floor, which allows for plenty of thinking time on the elevator ride up, forty five seconds to be exact. in that forty five seconds you decide that you are willing to do absolutely anything to keep your job. the elevator stops and you step out, making your way to his office.
“come in,” he says in a composed sentence, but the fear is still there when you hear it. you push the heavy door and step inside. his desk is alone in the middle of the room, a large cushioned chair seats him behind it. there are large windows that span from floor to ceiling across the whole back of the room. there are a couple of hallways at the sides that lead to other meeting rooms, and youre also aware of a small private living quarter, though, even as a personal assistant, youve never had the liberty of entering them.
mr cameron is sitting in his chair, supposedly signing paperwork. he doesn’t look up when you come in, “you know what you did,” he murmurs lowly, face not faltering from that hard icy expression youre so intimidated by.
you immediately resort to being pathetic. “I'm so sorry sir! i didn't know i swear, i didn't know what i was doing.” you step forward, speaking quickly and panicking obviously. “I will never do it again! from now on i will double check everything, i promise.” his eyes finally flick up to you and he raises an eyebrow before leaning back in his chair.
“you have put this company at risk,” he begins calmly, “if I wasn't as high in my field as I am, this would be an unsolvable issue, we would be done.” he informs you. you feel like your heart might drop out of your ass.
“well it is solvable right, so it's okay?” you say tentatively. you need this job, he knows you need this job, there's absolutely no disguising it to him that you’re desperate. “please dont fire me, I'll do anything.”
he watches you, like he's studying your facial expression and trying to read your thoughts. “you'll do anything?” he raises an eyebrow in a questioning look. that one sentence you uttered has now opened a whole new world of possibilities to him.
you nod quickly, “yeah! I'll take overtime or– or I could run more of your errands… uhm.. i could start bringing you lunch every day, i can–” he cuts you off by silently raising a hand and shaking his head.
“those are all things that you are already expected to do.” he says, “to keep your job you would have to do something… outside of your contract.” his tone changes, and you suddenly realise that he wants you to do something twisted.
you can think of the type of thing. and god, it would be a terrible thing for you to do. it goes completely against any moral you’ve ever had, to do a sexual favour in order to keep your job. it's twisted, if it ever got out your career would be ruined everywhere. but your career is already ruined if you don't do it. you can't afford to lose your job.
“what… what do you need me to do?” you swallow thickly, the shame already swallowing you whole at the implication of the actions you may be about to perform. you become aware of the unlocked door, what if somebody walked in right now, you would be fucked.
“come here and kneel.” he speaks curtly, pushing his chair back so there's space in front of him. you’re practically shaking with trepidation as you ever so slowly kneel down in front of him. your skirt rides up as you do, leaving you almost uncovered, completely visible if he was just a little bit lower down.
you expect him to say something, give you a command, but he doesn't. what he does is unexpected. he puts his foot forward. that's it. he extends his leg and places his foot right in front of you. shiny black dress shoes that look practically new, not a single scuff on them.
you frown in pure confusion. you are completely taken aback. what is he even expecting you to do? he knows that you don't understand and so he leans forward to clarify, “sit on it, grind on it.” your face twists in unexplainable emotion. “and then beg me for your job.”
you feel every moment of pride youve ever had slip away as you rise up and shuffle forward so that one leg is on either side of his foot. then a tear slips down your cheek as you slowly lower down to place your panty covered pussy onto his shoe.
it's a sudden sensation, the laces are rough against your sensitive area. you don't like it, but oh, the pressure does incite an involuntary sensation of pleasure there. you can't help it, it's only natural. mr cameron knows it too.
your movements are shaky as you start to push your hips up and down, subsequently grinding down on his shoe. you wobble a little, not knowing if you should grab his leg for support and so you play it safe and don't.
“you’re not begging.” he tells you, his tone so unbothered that it makes you wonder how many times he may have had someone do this for him. you take a moment to bring yourself to look at him, but the moment you do the pathetic words begin to roll off your tongue like they're the only ones you know.
“p-please. let me keep my job.” you cry, “I have debts, I'll never- uh- I'll never be able to live without this pay.” your voice is all broken apart, every time there is a twinge of pleasure down there you have to let out an uncontrollable sound. “I'll never make this mistake again mr cameron.”
oh it goes on for minutes. long, shameful, disgusting minutes. you don't stop talking, begging, grovelling. your words only become more incoherent though, as the pleasure grows, you have no choice but to hold him for support.
your movements become erratic and he watches you. a sick smirk is planted on his face as he watches. It brings him a sick sort of pleasure to see you so desperate. he takes pride in the way he's taken advantage of you, he doesn't care how horrid or immoral it is.
it escalates more when that knot forms in your stomach. you can't keep begging, you are overtaken by pleasure. for a few seconds you nearly forget about the situation you’re in and then the pleasure comes to an end.
your head snaps up to him immediately. you decide it's safe to stand back up again and so you do. “sir..” you say tentatively, hoping, praying even that he will now at least consider letting you keep the job.
he is silent for a moment before he looks up, “i have an errand for you to run.”
you nod immediately, happy at the insinuation that you still have some sort of duty, despite what you have just been made to do for it, “of course sir, what do you need.”
“take my shoes to be polished.”
#rafe cameron prompt#ceo!rafe#rafe cameron concept#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron outer banks
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chat i miss Them.
brushing your hair, aroace style. holding your hand, aroace style. leaning on you, aroace style. laughing with you, aroace style. cuddling while going to sleep, aroace style. braiding your hair, aroace style. dinner together, aroace style. long hugs, aroace style. inside jokes, aroace style. "babe, love, dear," aroace style. making fun of things together, aroace style. giggling at three am, aroace style. driving to see you, or you see me, aroace style. meeting each other's friends, aroace style. meeting important people in your life, aroace style. dropping off a coffee while at work, aroace style. opening the car door for you, aroace style. comforting hand on knees, shoulders, head, back, aroace style. sleepy drives, aroace style. "I have ibuprofen," aroace style. "don't forget your meds," aroace style.
platonic swag, if you will.
#I CANNOT DO THISSSS#BECAUSE WE’RE STILL FRIENDS I TRIED SO HARD TO DETACH MYSELF FROM THEM#THEY’RE LITERALLY ALSO AROACE BUT WE JUST DONT WANT THE SAME THINGS#this is what i want!!! this is what we HAD!!!#albeit we were usually 3k miles away#but the 2 weeks we spend together ….#i don’t know if i’ll ever feel that calmness ever again#and i was left in the dust for a man :(#they’ve never said it but#i think it’s cause im sex repulsed#they are not…! so.. i just don’t think i could be what they needed#i just don’t get it i’ll never get why#when they visited for the second time#and even though they had a bf they still just#held me#all the time it’s like nothing changed from the year before#that is how u get someone’s hopes up kids!!!#continuously act like nothing has happened.#i sent them a letter with their bday card this year. it had a lot of what i wanted to say in it. about how it hurt#but yet i still understood.#so just so :( how do i find that again????#i know i know op put in the rbs that u very much find this in multiple people#and i DO! just in small pieces. but what if i wanted it all with one person 😭😭😭#i fear i may be the least independent aroace person out there#sure feels like it sometimes#aroace style#aroace#aromantic#aromanitc#asexuality
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Thoughts on Joongdunk divorce and PR for branded pairs
so I read about the Joongdunk divorce era related ongoing drama and I have to say the thoughts I have are...perhaps very crazy but - sorry I have permanent brain damage from House MD - it fits. So take my opinion with grains of salt or better yet dont take it at all and just enjoy the conspiracy theory of it all. I'm fairly sure Joong is faking it and im pretty sure khaotung is...not faking whatever this 'I am going to fuck first against the nearest surface' vibe he has going on but he's certainly playing it up/into every moment like he's in a olympics style marathon thats just rail and be railed by your best friend.
Out of all the GMM men I follow, I follow Khaotung and Joong the closest and I would also say of the people I follow these two are the most likely to lie through their teeth about every single thing. And we already know that Joong has been helping FK but kind of particularly khaotung get more socmed savvy. So there is definitely some thread here to believe that PR discussions have occurred at least between Joong and FK but more likely between all four.
And the reason why I believe the Joongdunk divorce era is fake? It's becuase the thing between Joong and Est *was* real and Joong handled it completely differently. I had no idea it had happened even though I've been following Joong on IG through that entire time not until I went to twitter. I realized that whole thing was falling apart ONLY because people were talking about it. Joong's own posting was very staunchly business as usual.
And suddenly for his own branded pair right before a critical show who's success doesn't only affect him? What is he doing? Hanging neon signs that he's getting divorced. You're telling me to believe that Joong is middle school shading Dunk where even *I* could notice. Yes, I thought it was mega weird when he promo'd the THK release with pictures of him and FK but not Dunk. By this point, they *must* be aware of how people are talking about the Joongdunk divorce and what does Dunk do? Post a picture with FK but not Joong in the middle of it.
Really? Hours before the premiere?
See, the options here to me are:
1) Joong (and Dunk) has undergone a sudden and TOTAL personality change where he's suddenly inept at doing PR
or the crazier and yet to me the more likely scenario:
2) It's staged
And why would one do that? Why take the risk right before THK? To drum up engagement obviously. See we know that companies only care for numbers, these tweets and IG comments and likes are all going into some graphical format presentation in front of a guy who doesn't know or give two shits about what a divorce era is. So people talking about JD because their hobby is sniffing each other’s crotches or because they can’t stand each other is the exact same thing.
But how does Khaotung and his diabolical mind play into it, why did I bring him up in the beginning? We know that Fadel and Style start out as enemies…so like who's fucking playbook is that? Matching your promo to the dynamic of your characters? Who is the olympics gold winner in cosplaying your characters cosplaying as yourself?
I know people forget things week to week on socmed. But First and Khaotung were barely present during THK filming, soms were more or less only getting FK content from THK official twitter than First or Khaotung.
Khaotung was doing more fanservice with Joong than First at one point and he had a flurry of solo events during which soms were once more fractured between special treatment for Khaotung versus First [FK themselves were honeymooning in Busan and we got nothing other than the most brain damaging story about First scouring Busan for a hat Khaotung wanted and two posts of Khaotung ass up in their room that First must have taken].
Suddenly almost on the dot a month before THK release? They dialed the heat up without a reciprocal heat dialing up of Joongdunk. Summer Night definitely got in the way of that where Joong was giving Dunk a polite wide berth on IG liking and commenting on Summer Night stuff but not doing any CP related things.
So First and Khaotung suddenly act like they can't function without sampling each other's dicks thrice a day while Joong and Dunk stay business as usual. One pair taking the lion's share of THK hype is not a good thing for the other pair and genuinely I was like is JD really okay taking up second fiddle spot to FK for WEEKS. Lo and behold, days before THK all people can talk about is JD.
Anyway the following is an honest to god real photo of me writing this insane post. I just think things are going really well for Joong despite it all and I don't think it's on accident.
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constantly thinking abt the long quiet and the shifting mound and their relationship w humanity. because the two are very much not mortal and even in the what happens next ending its very ambiguous if they ever WILL be or Can be. but even still they have both felt what its like to be mortal
i feel like its vague if the entity the two used to be even percieved its own existence. the way the narrator talks about it makes it seem like the two only existed conceptually and as a result lacked a complete sense of identity, and didnt need to, and wouldnt want to. but in the same way a thought cannot be unthought, the narrator gave them a glimpse into what it felt like to be mortal and the two can never un-know it, even if it wasnt exactly the same
the long quiet in particular seems especially tied to humanity and in some aspects seems to want to BE human (which feels so potent given how decidedly Not human he is). the game tends to imply that every option you get is a thought he DOES have, and in the spaces between, the choices dont seem as influenced by a given voice, which highlights even more how much he feels conflicted on his own nature that he gets Multiple options to express discomfort with himself being a god
it just gets to me how one of the options during the fight is literally "appeal to your shared humanity". because even if the two are gods, their separation and reshaping has given them humanity that they can never un-feel. for how much the shifting mound grieves what she once was, she cannot will her humanity away. shes mourning what the two of them once was and is desperate to have it back at any cost, even though they can never be together how they once were.
even if the long quiet goes with her, theyre still apart and lack balance, because the two once just Were and werent two parts. they werent both halves, they werent two concepts, they were just one concept that happened to, by human eyes, consist of two halves. and the narrators insertion of humanity into the mix in order to separate them, separating them into concepts that humans understood, manually put into existence a struggle for equilibrium where that balance had simply Existed
but theyve already perceived what felt like reality and can never un-see it. they were separated and Need the other to feel whole and for reality to BE whole but the moment that either of them realized their own free will, the moment the two fully came to feel like people, they could never be together the same way once again
im struggling to come up with a metaphor that isnt silly but its like if you took a piece of fabric and cut it in two and made them both into shirts. youve added a piece of humanity into them and doing so cost its original form. to take them apart and try to put them back together would never get you the original, whole piece of fabric back, because theyve been completely changed by their own unique destruction and reconstruction
they were separated in a way that gave them humanity that they have such conflicting feelings on. both seem to have a deep love of humanity but vastly different ideas on what humanity needs to thrive, because its in their natures
in order to get one to kill the other the narrator let the long quiet interpret the both of them as mortal. and for a being of perception and an god thats being lied to, this became part of their limited view of the world, on top of all the other reasons that the two gained humanity. the long quiet couldnt be told what to do if he didnt have the ability to potentially act on the narrators desires, and the shifting mound could never die if the long quiet didnt believe her to be capable of death
the narrator gave the two humanity and the shifting mound is very reasonably distressed by this. because the two of them never asked for this but they cant undo it. it is her OWN subtle desire for things to be the same as they used to be, her own piece of that stagnation that also led to her experiencing humanity, that makes her so adamant during the fight. she misses the long quiet and wants to undo a change that cannot be undone in search of a constant state of being that was taken from her
and the long quiet felt so closely tied to mortality, both its existence and absence, that no matter what, he wants to aid humanity. but hes been lied to and denied autonomy to the point where he doesnt know what that entails. but he wants to be a part of it. he was given fake mortality and cant seem to figure out how he feels
the shifting mound is set in how she feels it best to aid in the existence of life. she is stagnant in her feelings because its all that feels right to her. the long quiet is ever-shifting in how he feels it best to aid in the existence of life. he is changing in his feelings because its all that feels right to him
getting to the heart of the shifting mound allows them a moment to discuss it as the closest they can get to mortals. the two care about their impact on life and what it means to be alive and what better way for the two of them to truly decide what they want to do about it, outside of the conflict thats been forced between them, than as the mortals they never were?
#slay the princess#long post#under a cut but i figure i should still tag that#waxing poetic about this is fun. i think about them every single day#i cant word it well either but something something stagnation as a representation of humanity#and the long quiet is mostly humanity with a small bit of divinity#and the shifting mound is mostly divinity with a small bit of humanity#and no words can describe what they are because they arent mortal but theyve felt too much of humanity to just be conceptual anymore either#but they arent both. they arent both or neither or just one or the other. theyre their own things that cant be explained with words#(not humanity in a literal sense either. idk how to word it)#(more metaphorical humanity)#but it makes them both people. but also not both people. but they can never not be people anymore. but they can never be not gods anymore#anyway. i lost the plot a few times i just get emotional thinking abt their relationship w humanity#i hope this makes any sense bc ive spent over an hr typing it because i got excited and once the words are out of my brain i forget them
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Viktor is under some kind of influence, but at first glance it's hard to tell the exact nature of it.
But I believe its more simple than one would think.
The core is basically jingling keys in front of him and telling him to look at them.
But I believe its more simple than one would think.
The core is basically jingling keys in front of him and telling him to look at them.
Firstly, why is the sky hallucination sus? could it just be his own mind?
Her guiding him to her book and later showing up next to the shimmer addict could be explained as just his conscious.
However, he also woke up to her screams and it was her voice that guided him to the addicts, both things go beyond what could manifest only from his own perception of things.
Not only that, this is the exact place where he later cocoons himself again. So it's no accident he ended up here.
It's also good to note how Viktors saw her differently then how she was, he sees him as a more idolised version of herself, which is als a good indication that she is not real.
But then in act 2 she appeals completely harmless, she doesn't push him into anything, and it looks like she offers some sense of emotional support.
And that's the point, it's feeding into viktors weaknesses as a person, all it needs to do, is give him the illusion of company, and keep him in his head.
Viktor was always a loner, but he also seeked out second opinions and he was in fact very lonely and wished for company.
This is exactly what the core is giving him the illusion of. A second opinion and company.
By herself “sky” does not offer any new information to viktor, she is either stathing things he is already aware of, things viktor thinks she would say, or reassures him.
“She liked me, she would be concerned about me!”
“I remember telling her that once!”
“She was caring, she would be upset at someone's death!”
In fact, it might even try to distract him from the important things, we don't see a lot of it, but the moment Viktor starts to wonder what's up with Jayce, she attempts to move his thoughts elsewhere from thinking about what is wrong with him.
Viktors perception of the world is fundamentally changed, this is already pretty isolating but now he has a mind buddy! He's Not alone anymore, there's someone who talks to him, who cares about him, who he can share ideas with,
someone who loves him.
I'm going to concede, I do think their relationship has a romantic undertone, if for nothing else it's because viktors perception of sky is pretty heavily defined by her love letters to him.
Regardless of your reading (how much do you think he reciprocates that), it is giving him the company he wished for.
Why is that bad?
It's because it keeps him docile, and so far up his own 4ss that he doesn't realise how messed up what he is actually doing is. He is stuck with his own regurgitated thoughts.
The only thing he ever gets is reassurance that what he is doing is in fact good, he doesn't have an outside perspective on what's happening with him or around him.
He doesn't have the head space to self reflect cuz something always chimes in, always keeps him thinking, solving problems, solving puzzles.
We never once saw him actively trying to talk to any of his followers, the only people who he does are not affected by him, and come to him directly, he didn't even bother seeking out Jayce himself.
The only way he communicates with them is when he wants to do his creepy puppet thing and if the only thing left in his followers head is gratitude towards him and he never examines what it did to them as people, no wonder he doesn't notice a thing.
He just unquestionably spreads the core's influence.
No wonder the first awful idea anyone gave him in who knows how long that isn't his own stuck with him.
He always had a tendency to get sucked into his work and dont bother with people (ironically that is one of the reasons sky got dusted) and don't bother with anything else, and now the conditions are orchestrated for this to basically keep him in his own head.
He doesn't really care about his followers either, he watched one of them get smashed and didn't give a damn.
He doesn't care for them as people, they are more akin to problems he can solve and move on. He was barely even bothered about Jayce's condition, probably assuming he will come to him and he can fix him right away.
We can see this in his visions of how he conceptualizes himself, he looks very human, and yet he got these unsettling yellow eyes. He is blind to the ways he changed, just look at how he acts in them.
At first glance he appears a lot more emotive and it also tells us that he is fairly enjoying himself and his new perception of the world but also the main thing we see of him is his endless curiosity about things, not his empathy towards them.
He is well meaning of course, but he doesn't/cant reflect enough to see what he is really doing. Namely taking away the things he saw in these people, their dreams.
And he constantly has problems to solve, we saw how many people went to him, he always has something to think about, and he always has someone to talk to about it without needing to waste precious time on seeking out a second opinion.
In s1 he barely reacted to the beginning of a civil war going around him, now people depend on him and in the middle of a civil war he doesn't have any way of protecting these people.
He barely gives a damn about him slowly deteriorating. He doesn't live in reality anymore. He cannot see the forest for the trees. (though he might have had some plans we don't know of, since Salo was gathering materials for him.)
And his guilt just amplifies this.
From s1 one of his strongest traits was how much he believed if he gets the right tools, and the opportunity, he can help people.
“Do you think my life ambition is to be an assistant?”
“If you are going to change the world don't ask for permission.”
“All I did was believe in myself.”
This is what skys death puts into question.
This is why he almost jumped afterwards, this fundamental belief in himself was put into question. He got the chance to do what he wanted and someone died.
This is where his guilt comes into play, he isn't making his own dream a reality, we saw that what he really wanted is to give people tools that they can use to create, but that's not what he is doing.
He is doing what he believes Skye's dream was.
It doesn't even look like he invents things anymore, he just mostly uses his powers and studies botanics. (tho we saw Salo steal some stuff for him so he might have some plans that we don't know yet?)
This is even the context he brought her up to jayce: she had such dreams.
From her notes we can assume she hoped to help make a zaun that is cleaner and more connected to nature.
This is the reason why he is so receptive to skyes positive affirmation, its because in his head he is correcting his wrong, her affirmation and forgiveness gave him back the belief that he can still do good.
Now he has the right tools and the opportunity to do it, so he won't fail again.
He is literally wearing her symbol on his clothes.
He is doing this out of some kind of repentance for his sins.
So the way he sees it: he is helping these people, who on they own free will just happen to stay here cuz its nice and he conveniently can puppet them if needed, he doesn't question that cuz he never bothers to talk to them and skys happy and she talks to him so why bother when no one sees the world like he does.
What he doesn't realise is that he is pretty much meant to die there.
There's a reason why his palace was builded here, he literally got told to build it there. It was there so he could die and cocoon himself again.
When he first saw jayce and encountered the singularity, he was literally describing himself.
“self annihilating and replicating” That's him, this entity is connected to him, he is meant to die and be reborn over and over again. He might not completely embody it yet, but he is a product of it. (and he will probably gonna try to harness it, that's what the beginning of ep 6 set up.)
I don't think he expected jayce to shoot him, when he saw what he was going to do he looked pretty shocked, but he was intentionally kept docile by the core basically guaranteeing that even actually he will die out.
And then he had the audacity to conclude it must have happened cuz people just suck.
He tried nothing to prevent this and he is already out of options.
To his defense he was probably really lost in the sauce at this point.
This is also why he was making his following, he was supposed to draw power from them after he dies so he can be reborn again.
This also means that singed and ambessa are probably interfering with this process.
It would explain why he looks so wrong in the poster.
In conclusion, the core keeps Viktor in a mind state where he is docile enough not to question what's happening around him using his already existing flaws against him in order to spread itself.
One last thing I would like to add is that I don't think this will be his final transformation, I believe the final one will either happen at the top of the hex gate or at the bottom of it.
#arcane#viktor#arcane season 2#derpythoughts#jayce#league of legends#viktor arcane#jayvik#jayce arcane#arcane meta#arcane theory#if ya have any questions or want my take on something feel free to send an ask
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I want to get back into ortho after having a bed spiral and eating a bunch of crappy foods. Do you have any tips? Thx :)))
hi anon!! ❤️❤️ thank you for the ask :)
So first you would probably want to ask yourself why you were binging on “bad” foods. Did you miss the flavor? Stress? Feeling out of control?
You should definitely recognize those feelings so that you don’t get in this rut again!
now.. that has definitely happened to me before and truly it’s all about commitment. You can change TODAY! RIGHT NOW!!
Start including Whole Foods instead of junk foods. White bread? No, whole wheat bread. (And don’t use that keto shit!) Candy? How about you have a big bowl of grapes and berries.
Try to incorporate cooking, or premade meals if you have time. This makes it so we can just reach in the fridge and grab the meal instead of grabbing junk food that leaves us more hungry!
Don’t have an all or nothing mindset. Okay, sure, you ate that candy. Just have some water to make the insulin rush calm down.
Dont be ashamed!!! Don’t stress the process and don’t let it consume every thought. Trust me. You’ll just miss the bad foods and that’s not what we want.
Treat this like you’re on a spa retreat!! Honestly sounds cringy but roleplaying like you’re a guru or an influencer just makes it motivating and even posting how your day is going helps keep you on track. I mean, look at my wieiads’…sometimes I have my ups and downs, but notice how I don’t go insane?! Stay safe anon!! And good luck to you :) I hope my advice could help
#tw ana rant#0rthor3xia#@na motivation#skinandbones#tw 3d vent#0rth0#orthorexx#th1ghspø#tw 0rthor3xia#tw ana bløg#@n@#@n@ tips#@n@ fast#@n@ diet#@n@ meal#⭐️ve#male ed#an@rexi@#@n@ buddy#tw ed ana#light as a feather#4n4blr#4n4rexia#4n4m1a#4n4t1ps#4n4buddy#@na fast#@na rules#@na buddy#3ating d1sorder
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theyre not widely available yet but thank FUCK someone finally says this bc more ranting in the tags but just leaving the few screenshots i do have of the original ending e here
it was always meant to be a joke!!! just because it comes out more lukewarm as averse to doing a complete 180 does not mean it is and was always meant to be some deep thinkpiece whose themes got already MORE than enough coverage through the previous endings (And additionally already reached a perfect conclusion too!!! Re: Ending D - there's really nothing left to be said or done after THAT ending, Ending E is glorified bonus territory positioned as a finale that has no real substance to ADD outside of what's already been said lmfao)
how does that not only make it more clear that they're not jokes
#gu6chan's reblogs#THANK YOUUUUU YOU FUCKING GET IT OH MY GOD THIS THIS THIS!!!!!!!!!!#this reblog was akin to like 52343534987 years of therapy i remember so clearly the DISAPPOINTMENT i got at ending e because#slightly its own topic ofc but as a joke its??? okay? but if we're taking this serious narrative#'oh yeah they wanted something inspired off the sh2 dog ending; then they wanted to do karaoke against a jpop idol; then magically decided#they'd be Serious because this ganes ''hates you'' and never wants to be genuine ever'#crap seriously it was AWFUL especially compared to ending d which; if we're going by the 'play stupid games win stupid prizes'#narrative it IS ALREADY COVERED BY ENDING D???? like#sure you CAN argue 'well the tone of the scripts was changed; so they DID want to make it more serious'#i would argue again NOT EVEN USING the classic 'budget didn't allow' argument that it just being a more absurd version of ending d#and being included with its absolutely cursed requirements it remains a complete (not even 'subversive'; just completely disrespectful imho#farce at worst or a half-baked mesh that's unsure of itself out of fear of not wanting to go 'too far' into joke territory either at#risk of 'tone' or any vague respect to the player for actually having done All That#im ngl i apologise to the bloke im rbing from this hardly even has to do with 'ending e WAS a joke; youre all just being pretentious'#so much as me whining in my corner about how overhyped it is lmao#istg though if they had CHANGED its placement to an optional ending as opposed to THE FINALE OF THE GAME#or even just.... showed some confidence and stuck with the original as opposed to trying to somehow pull BOTH ways like it could have been#an infinitely more... i dont wanna say respectful to the players VALUES so much as respectful to their time and effort bc you can STILL#say all that what ppl think ending e is saying while also at least even fucking acknowledging there is something they GENUINELY see in that#game that makes it worth their time; the fact that it 'hates you' be damned like there comes a point where it just starts reading as the#director of the product not even having any 'Trolling' going on so much as them just genuinely... not having confidence in their own produc#and while its not FULLY there; ending e was enough of a hit to make it borderline into that territory lmao#yap yap yap though that's its own point my VERY convoluted point IS: ending e is a joke!! it's just half-baked and bad (imo)
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🡻VENT
Hello, this is going to be a rather sad kind of message, the first time I have to talk about a client with such a bitter perspective for me.
Clients are always a reason to celebrate, with many I have developed super long conversations, others have seen me grow on social networks and I have seen them get married, have children or change their lives little by little just like me.
In my community I am always happy to have good experiences with my clients, because even the few times I have not agreed with something, everything has been able to be discussed and come to a good end.
I have been in contact with all kinds of personalities and moods, both my own and those of others, for a long time and I know how to work with that.
Today was not like that. Today I had to deal with something completely different
I had to talk to a person with whom I had accepted a commission 2 years ago, and the last contact or response I had was in March 2023 -1 year and 7 months-
As we are all strangers on the internet and life can sometimes be very fucked up, I clearly did not make any claim and celebrated they return.
Fortunately I saved they files, and I say this because many artists after a certain period of time close them, send them to avoid legal problems or exactly what just happened to me.
I never added such clauses because i have had 2 cases like that and nothing bad has happened (although never for so long)
But with today I think it was quite naive on my part, because this person began to ask me for changes on a work that had been left with the base coloring, and the lineart already finished.
I agreed to change simple things but I also warned that I was not going to accept more changes that had to do with the pose. Not only because of all the time it took (you can change your tastes, and if you liked something before, and now you don't) but it is unfair to me, to my time and my current pending work.
So I limited the changes to the color section, no different from when other clients ask me for changes once the lineart is finished and accepted.
The person first accepted, then deleted the message and asked me for a refund for the commission, since they was not satisfied with my service .
The truth is that I was quite broken down. Because I had never had or experienced those emotions linked to a client.For me it is something incompatible.
But clearly I am not going to do it, my TOS are clear with the no refunds and the situation is clearly cynical, I have plenty of reasons and explanations as to why, but i dont have the objective of humiliating anyone or generate hatred.
That's why I'm not giving names, I'm not giving pictures or anything. I just want to vent because I feel completely discouraged, because I didn't expect a right hook like that. And it's a bittersweet feeling, and finally I hit the wall after 7 years of work.
It's very easy to show up after almost 2 years and ask for a refund when the work is almost finished, and claim that you're not happy with the results.
But being nice doesn't mean I'm going to allow something like that.
So I'm going to rewrite my TOS to make the same clause as my colleagues, and I'm going to keep this low key and private.
My colleagues will know about name and screenshots, because it's important to be careful with these things. But for the rest, it's not fun for me to start any carnage.
I understand the misunderstanding, I can imagine what this person felt when I set a limit (most people don't like it, it's a bitter pill to swallow) but it's also necessary and it's true that during these 7 years, many people have responded well to it and have even given me excellent treatment or negotiated with me.
I have witnessed at least 200 responses much better than the one I had to read today, so I am able to know, perfectly, that nothing that happened was fair. And that it could have gone better if they hadn't demanded things that way, and in a situation where their actions were not supported.
I know this is different, but my head is now like a pressure cooker, and I needed to let it out, to let it go.
Thank you all, for having accustomed me to such nice treatment, that although today I felt naive, I also felt very lucky to have you to have a bar with which to measure correctly.
A huge hug, from your favorite Pillow.
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HAIIIIII can i request something heheheh if yes TYSMMMM and my request isss deadpool and wolverine x chubby feminine male reader and male reader is like insecure about his body and femininity and wade and logan makes sure to let him know that hes beautiful inside and out hehe i havent really seen much x chubby male reader lately nor at all and i have been feeling down about my weight(again) and i would reallllyyyyy appreciate if u can do this request hhee but if u dont thats fine aswell TYSMMMM ONCE AGAINNNNN AND TAKE CAREEEE💖💖💖💖💖
YEAH I CAN!!!! im assuming you want cis male reader but if you were looking for trans, i can rewrite stuff!
sorry it took so long! depression has been kicking my ass recently
warnings for bullying, body dysmorphia, mean self talk and thoughts revolving around hating how you look, use of feminine pet names for reader
You’re their princess!
poolverine x chubby feminine male reader
You’d been curled up in bed since that morning when you’d swear that those teenagers were laughing about you. You’d been wearing a cute pink hello kitty shirt and the skirt Wade had got you. You’d told him over and over again that it was too short but he’d insisted that you were as cute as a button. Logan had said so too so you wore it but then those teenagers…
Logan and Wade hadn’t gotten home yet so you just laid in bed, covered to your neck. You didn’t wanna look at yourself. You’d thrown the skirt and shirt onto the floor and changed into Logan’s hoodie that was way too big for you. It covered everything and that was your only comfort. You just felt so insecure right now.
You must have drifted off because you jolted awake when the front door slammed. Your boyfriend’s voices drifted up into your ears and you burrowed deeper into the blankets. You didn’t want them to see you like this. You rolled over to face the wall and pretended to be asleep.
Wade poked his head into you guys bedroom and watched you for a moment before beckoning Logan over. You heard his footsteps and wanted to turn back over but your make up was messy and you didn’t wanna look at yourself in the mirror.
“He’s so cute, ain’t he, Logie? I just wanna kiss our baby all over his beautiful body,” Wade said with a sweet smile as he locked his hand in Logans.
Logan grunted a yes and nodded as he leaned against the doorframe. “He asleep?” He grunted.
You tried to stay still and quiet. You just wanted to stay in bed without them trying to make you feel better.
Wade chuckled and let go of Logan’s hand. He walked over to the bed and poked you in the shoulder. You jumped and squealed into your pillow.
“Awwwww, baby’s awake!” He said with a giggle before crawling onto the bed and pulling you into his lap with great difficulty coz you didn’t wanna move.
He nudged your face so he could see you and his face dropped when he did. “Baby, why’s your makeup like that?”
Logan had been watching from the doorframe but when Wade said that, he quickly closed the gap between him and the bed. He climbed on the bed and when he saw your tear streaked face, there was murder in his eyes. “Who hurt you, doll?”
You flinched away from him when he said that.
“Don’t call me that. It’s stupid. I can’t look like a girl! I’m too chubby and it doesn’t look right and I should just bite the bullet and dress like a guy,” you rambled, faster than Wade, as you tried to turn away again.
Wade and Logan immediately jumped into gotta fix this mode. Before you even knew what was going on, Wade had pulled the blanket off you and Logan had taken you off him and settled you on his lap. Wade hopped off the bed and picked up your clothes and put them in the washing basket. He grabbed one of your cute pink hoodies and those hello kitty pj pants you liked so much and laid them out on the end of the bed.
“They’re for when we get ya feeling better. Can’t have you drowning in Logan’s hoodie,” he said with a sad smile as he sat back down.
Logan stroked your hair and grabbed a make up wipe off the bedside table. He gently wiped away your makeup and murmured sweet nothings into your ear. The ickyness started to subside but you still felt it. It was still there in your stomach and the back of your mind, waiting for them to leave so you could cry some more.
“We ain’t gonna make you hash it out, sweetheart. You don’t gotta tell us a thing, okay? But can you let us say somethings?” Wade asked gently as he took ahold of your hands.
Everything in you wanted to say no. They were just taking pity on you. Why would anyone like you? You weren’t skinny and you were too girly. But slowly you nodded.
Wade smiled and tilted his head. “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever set my eyes on, you know. When we first met, I just knew that I wanted you and when you spoke and your heart shone through, I knew it even more.”
That was a lot more sincere than you were expecting but you still felt icky. They’d leave soon. Tears started to well up in your eyes but before you could wipe them away, Logan did so.
“We love you, pretty boy. We’ll always love you. You’re the most feminine badass I know and you’re not too chubby. You’re just the right amount. You’re perfect cuddle size, sweetheart,” Logan said with the most gentle smile.
You were crying now. How’d they always accept you when it seemed nobody else did? Logan wiped away your tears and after getting a nod from you, Wade gently pulled Log’s hoodie off you. As he picked up your hoodie, Logan leaned down and pressed a kiss to your tummy.
“You’re the most beautiful princess out there, baby. You can be a man and still be pretty and you can be chubby. You’re not too chubby, okay? We’re gonna love you always,” Logan reminded you.
Wade helped you into the hoodie and then into the pants. Logan then helped you lay down and he cradled you against his chest. Wade snuggled up against you, his arms around your waist, tracing hearts on your tummy.
“We love you, baby,” Wade said with a giggle.
The three of you drifted off to sleep and that icky feeling left for a while longer.
#stormy writes things#x reader#x m!reader#x male reader#logan howlett x male reader#wolverine x male reader#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson x male reader#logan howlett x male reader x wade wilson#x chubby reader#x chubby male reader#x feminine reader#x feminine male reader#logan howlett x chubby reader#wade wilson x chubby reader#logan howlett x feminine male reader#wade wilson x feminine male reader#logan howlett x chubby feminine male reader#wade wilson x chubby feminine male reader#requested
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is there any point in the series that sam could have made an escape and actually successfully gotten away from dean and hunting, or do you think that his lack of support system made it impossible
FANTASTIC QUESTION. sorry im gonna ramble for 7374893594 words now
tldr, past like s3 (and certainly past s5) i think its kinda impossible.
early seasons, like 1-2, sure and totally, he almost does, he plans on it. but then the demon deal for his life happens and theyre trapped in cycles forever and ever and everything becomes a lot harder and, also, sam and dean just naturally become more and more codependent, decreasing the chances of them ever being able to have a 'normal relationship', which i think is necessary (dean loosening grip on sam, them having connections outside of each other) for sam to ever 'get away' from dean/hunting (cause otherwise its just an all-or-nothing choice, more on this in a sec).
i think its less so much about sam successfully getting away in terms of getting dean off his back/to leave him alone (which, dont get me wrong, WOULD be hard, especially as the seasons go on, considering dean cant stand to be alone and has extremely controlling and occasionally stalkerish tendencies <3..... but could still certainly be possible), but about him actually choosing to leave dean/hunting (which for the purposes of this question we r equating).
bc its sort of like..... he takes a lot of Breaks especially during mid seasons (s5 after lucifer's set free (tho iirc this one is dean's doing), s7 after dean kills amy, s8 with amelia tho he thinks deans dead, s9 after gadreel possession is revealed....) but he always always comes back. of course s8 is dean Literally Dragging sam back into it (<3) and also just shaking everything up by being generally Alive, but s7 and 9, its cause dean has done something awful thats genuinely shook sam up, and in the end he just... gets over it. cuz what is the alternative? dean doesnt change and rarely apologises!
like its the fact that of course he wants a relationship with dean because deans the closest person in his life and everything to him, but having a relationship with dean equals their intense codependent unhealthy bond, equals dealing with dean's disregard of his autonomy and ignoring it (read: letting it wear him down). dean's all or nothing. they cant just be 'normal brothers'. and i find it extremely hard to see sam ever actually longterm choosing 'no dean' over 'dean who loves him more than anything and will always do anything for him but systematically wears down his personhood and punishes him for percieved disobedience and thinks he's the one who gets to make choices about sam's life'. like he would have to have a bunch of connections outside of dean, they probably both would, and that would never really happen partially because of dean. they can never let anyone else get on their level. like u said. lack of support system!
and its like... what could dean Actually do that would make sam 'cut him off'/distance himself permanently. i literally and truly cannot think of anything. sam canonically has an INCREDIBLE capacity for forgiveness, just in general - where's that jared quote about how sam forgives everyone cause he sees himself as someone so in need of forgiveness - and this even more so applies to dean. dean locks sam up and leaves him to die, kills his friend, tricks sam into letting an angel possess him, and tries to kill him, and none of that makes sam leave dean permanently, not just because dean makes it physically difficult for him to (tho he does - insisting they work together in s7 on the case, going off to get mark of cain in s9) but also cause sam just eventually forgives him and moves on. is it 'capacity for forgiveness' or is it that he doesnt really view bad things that happen to him as a big deal, that (thru s5-esque emotional abuse techniques <3) deans subconsciously gotten him questioning his own reality and opinions so deeply that it just takes time before sam's agreeing with dean again. makes you think!
but tbf (and this is a digression but i just find it interesting) this probably goes both ways too - what could sam actually do to make dean leave him permanently? even when deans incredibly angry at sam he usually wants him around to berate about it <3. exceptions being start of s10 when hes a demon but even demon dean soon switches to sam-obsession.... and s5. which i know according to endverse Wouldve been a permanent split up? which is kind of wild? and canonises that that Couldve Happened i guess. samgirls should do more with endverse, id kill to see an actually good samcentric fic of like. the events leading to endverse. if anyones read any pls pls recs. ANYWAY. theres also ofc s2 meg possession, where dean just fully thinks sam killed people and is like <3 okay baby brothers lets pretend this never happened we got this do u need me to bury a body <3. truly a ride or die. unless ur actively going against Him specifically. things to think about. tell me ur takes.
and anyway then s11 onwards he is NOT getting out. not unless someone really managed to get it into his head Hey So Pro Tip This Is Fucked. sam acquiesces to dean-as-dictator, having literally Let Dean (be about to) Kill him, dean (newly cured from moc) is consequently much more pleased with sam and with their relationship, they fight much less and theres therefore much less prominent emotional abuse etc since dean is at his worst when hes upset. (iirc. late seasons are a blur except for jack stuff.). and by s13 he has a son and maybe if this happened seasons ago dean's treatment of jack would've been enough to prompt at least a temporary split up but it doesnt, it just sparks a few vague arguments between samndean and sam telling jack that dean is trying <3 and that its very difficult for him <3 which is why he told you hed kill you <3 thats just what dean is like you have to get over it at some point <3 (I LOVE S13). so then yeah. too late.
TLDR... he is too indocrinated <3. sad!
#this is literally like a thousand words. im sorry. if you read all this you get a cookie and a medal.#spn#asks#oliver talks#lmk ur thoughts everyone
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Dear Liam,
I first found out about 1D in late 2011 when a friend told me about 1D and wanted me to listen to the music and watch the music videos. I liked Gotta Be you the best back then and even then when I had no idea who any of you were i was drawn to your voice the most.
Then she made me watch the Up All Night DVD and what I can say: it was you from the very first minute. I cant say for sure what it was today, but I think it was your beautiful brown warm eyes and your big genuine smile that got me. And it never changed, you were my favorite from the beginning and you will always be my favorite.
I just realized in retroperspect that I was so drwan to you because i could relate to you: your perfectionism, the way you made sure everyone was fine (the fans, the band…) and also some of your mannerism. It helped me so much to see someone perceived as mature as you also show your joy and your playfulness because I did not have to be only mature – I could also be a kid at the same time. You got a lot of backlash when you slowly started to break out of the 'Daddy direction' role and it always felt unfair to me to burden you with that role. I think a lot of the last 10 years would have been different for you if that role had not fallen onto you.
I just want you to know that I appreciated you publically breaking out of the role more than you could ever known. You helped a girl that surpressed her own feelings for years to try to ease her familys burden, that tried to play grown up when she wasnt and had to deal with the consequences from all that for a long time to break out of this cycle. I dont think I would have been able to do that if not for you showing me that you dont have to play a role to ease others burden.
I still have to deal with some of the consequences of that and I dont think I will ever fully overcome it but I got a lot better and am in a mental place I never could have imagined. I will forever be sad that you did not get the help to overcome your struggles. You deserved it so much.
It makes me so angry that you never got to show us the music you were so proud of, that you never got to go on a proper tour. You were made to sing and to perform, your stage presence was one of the best I ever experienced. Your voice was so angelic, I would have listened to anything you would have sung. You helped so many people get better but never got the chance to get better yourself.
Liam, it was you from the very first time I heard a 1D song and watched any videos of you and it was you during your solo adventure till the end. It will always be you. I always rooted so hard for you and wished you everything you wanted, especially happiness. I will carry the sadness that you never got your happy end til the day I die. I am not religious but I believe in an afterlife and I am so absolutely sure that you got all the happiness and everything good you ever deserved up there. I hope you can see that despite you receiving so much hate there is also so much love for you.
At the moment the grief is too strong form me to listen to your music. But I know that once the grief is not as raw anymore I will happy bop to your voice again until I will hear it again in the afterlife.
Sleep well Liam, you deserve the peace.
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