#like emotional overstimulation
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Just finished my rewatch of gravity falls, bawling my eyes out, screaming pounding at the pillows and wailing, god I love this fuckign show
#just got to college and went through mabel’s exact crisis of growing up and my life and world changing#this hits too close to home i have to kill myself now#not really but there are so many emotions coursing through my dinky excuse for a brain and i feel like i’m shortcircuiting i’m so overloade#like emotional overstimulation#autistic meltdown of the feelings#it’s left me with a strange hollowness that it does every time#welp. time to either watch an 80s scifi movie or play team fortress 2 for three to five business hours#taffi signing off 🫡
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saints i feel like it’s been so long since you shared your Evan thoughts I feel like I’m losing my grasp of him quick do you think he listens to music or does he sit in silence with his own thoughts
of course he mostly sits in dead silence with his own thoughts, anon…
don’t lose sight of him!! he’s sitting right over there in one of the dusty wicker chairs scattered around rosier manor, with his over-large sleeves pulled over his fingers. he thinks there is a logic to animal behavior (eat or be eaten) that we could all emulate. he bites his fingernails to the quick. he’s an ephebe & an ingenue & a waking nightmare. he looks like a porcelain doll left to decay under a bed. he is nowhere close to being as in control as he would like to be. he’s an overmature child that acts like an adult & an undersocialized adult who is as ignorant with other people as a child… he doesn’t eat enough. he peels off his bloody surgical gloves & goes to bed without showering for weeks, hair caked in gore. he died in a fucking duel!!!!!
#a#‘it’s been so long’ it really has been… this ask hurts….#i’ve been lost in the reverie of trying to answer my anons but i think we need to reprioritize#for the record i think evan is indifferent to music. as he is with most stimuli#like his emotions are neither overly positive nor negative. sounds overstimulate him easily. he probably wouldn’t seek music out a lot#but he doesn’t HATE it. and in my head he listens to sorting algorithms probably
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god i love like. when tummy is soft and squishy so i can press my face into it and sink in. makes me feel like an ostrich sticking my head in the sand mmmmm
#i love tummy#me hiding from the world in tummy#i was doing this to b yesterday#it's just like so SOOTHING#close my eyes and nuzzle in#i just KEPT doing it#feels so good#this is what i need when i'm like stressed and overstimulated#who's going to be my emotional support belly#j thoughts
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I’ve genuinely never understood the whole “if ur over *insert age* and still enjoy stuff made for kids you’re a freak” mindset ppl have. Like who fucking cares if a 20 year old went to see the wild robot alone or a 40 year old likes mlp it’s not that deep
I’ve also never understood the “well you CAN watch stuff made for kids but you gotta watch adult R rated stuff after to balance it out” mindset either it makes no sense to me. like how does watching breaking bad after an episode of steven universe “balance it out” what does balancing it out even mean??
#sry it just rly pisses me off how weird ppl art about stuff that’s made for kids#maybe it’s bc I wanna work on that kind of stuff one day#but it’s like ppl treat it lesser than stuff with a rating over pg and I just don’t get why#I feel like making a movie or show for kids that adults rly enjoy is amazing!#it means it’s not just slop no one over the age of 6 can even look at without being overstimulated#telling kids deep more mature stories with emotional moments that leave adults in tears is good!!! adults enjoying a pg movie is good!!!
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Bro istg, people always wanna be fucking irritating when I am overstimulated. Like stfu, I can only take so much of you spitting me nothing but bullshit, stfu.
#idk man#self destruction#self destructive thoughts#i hate it here#silly little guy#sillyposting#silly#hate myself#hate it here#hate this#guilt#anger#emotional#dissociation#im overstimulated#so overstimulated#i hate being overstimulated#so rude#idgaf#idgaf anymore#like stfu#stfu#please stfu#i hate it#just stfu#sigh
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if you say shit like 'autism is not a disability' i hope you actually have really bad things happen to you and you are banned from the autism community for the foreseeable future. get another fun weird club if you so badly need one
so profoundly tired of people trying to make autism into this whimsical quirkiness when it's for most people a serious and debilitating life altering disorder
#im not even that high on the needs spectrum at all. i definitely need a lot of support but it doesn't nearly compare to hsn autistics for ex#but our autism have never been masked and it's always been apparent in obvious ways that stunted our social and personal development#we can't mask at all it's not an option to us. we are disturbing in person. we talk weirdly. we are monotone with very rare exceptions.#we do not understand the overwhelming majority of very important social cues and we can't pretend or mask that#we've always been singled out and our impairment has ostracized us from peers our entire life#especially with the struggle of getting daily tasks done. we are JUST a little more independent with things than we were as a kid#i always talk about not feeling like an adult and being stuck in kid (teen at best!) like mindset and abilities and understanding of things#that is autism too. we are stunted and disabled developmentally in many ways as a result and we were never on par with others of our age#and we will never be.#i hate this sentiment so much and i hate the 'disabilities wouldn't exist if society was perfect at accomodating us all to a T'#like yeah surely our violent outbursts and shutdowns and intense stimming wouldn't exist? our need to regulate stimuli#our Inability to regulate emotion or response to overstimulation?#like holy shit if you're autism lite jsut say that. some of us are actually significantly impaired and very much DISABLED and require#support to function. and surprise surprise some autistics need help with every step in their daily life. are they not disabled? fucker
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I never realized Hugh Dancy’s face was so expressive till I rewatch hannibal bloopers over and over again
#his face makes me freak out sometimes#like I can’t help myself but feel joy when I see him#which is everyday now because he fills up my camera roll and now I see him on tumblr everyday#it’s both a blessing and a curse cuz I’m so fatigued right now and can’t handle emotional overstimulation#will graham#hannibal#hugh dancy
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i must rid myself of the fear that those i care about will think i hate them if i dont respond 2 their dm/ping immediately. my friends are rational people who understand i am not always available
#''i must respond 2 all of these dms immediately'' NO I DONT!!!!!!!!!!!#ill end up stressin myself out my social battery is low anyways dfjkhskfsjdfs#spacie spoinks#i also like talking 2 people too much so auhgjdsjghsjghjfd#i dont ignore ppl maliciously sometimes i need time 2 myself#anmnd i get regularly overstimulated by my own emotions so 😭
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Hateful. Hateful birthday dinner
#i just know its gonna be bad#any instance where my mother and father have an outing with me and my sibling its overstimulating + stressful#i hate it half of the time#and im in charge of the emotional labor of everyone there#why i dont like doing anything for my bday#ive become less and less excited abt it as the yrs go by but ive gotten myself dressed up just bc hey fuck it amiright#im just gonna pray it goes reeeally well#vent.txt
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I'm desperately trying to fix our sleep schedule because being awake at the wrong time is realy getting to me (like I feel jetlagged and also fucking exhausted because I'm not getting restful sleep) and various stuff just keeps fucking that up.
one day it'll be a really bad migraine where I end up having to lay down and then oh look I've woken up at the wrong time, and then the next it's that I've had a fucking dissociative seizure followed by an hour long panic attack before finally just passing the fuck out and once again waking up at the wrong fucking time.
I hate this shit so much
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#also we just really need that period of time in the early hours of the morning when other people are asleep#where it's quiet and nobody's going to bother us and we finally feel like we can deal with various emotional stuff if we need to#or otherwise just have time to ourselves where we're not being interrupted or anything#because without those few hours we start getting really tense and overstimulated#and the more we're awake in the day the more that feeling builds up and we get increasingly irritable and overwhelmed
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Very overstimulated. Currently thinking about Zooble to cope 👍
#does anyone ever get so bored it makes them overstimulated or is that just me#because like. that's what's going on right now lol#and then on top of that I am feeling Way too many emotions#I just want to curl up and fall asleep on Zooble right now. that would fix me I think
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Kid jack with a little astronaut helmet with foam on the inside and a tinted visor for when things get too loud and bright (and lucifer the pta mom who stares down any teacher or other parent that has a problem with it)
#jack reacts to getting overstimulated with rage & violence (like mother like son :( ) and lucifer is far more willing#to commit a mild social faux pas by letting his kid be weird than he is to make jack deal with the emotional roller coaster and injuries#he would have to without it#ramsey barks#lucifer#jack kline#(I’m imagining a human au but also thee biblical devil in a principals office makes me laugh so)
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Can someone explain why scrolling through photography on tumblr dash is such an intense emotional experience
#Ig the dark bg helps like galleries are overstimulating w their stupid white walls#But it feels so nostalgic or like sends me back onto irl memories and feelings or even fictional scenes I've written or games I've played#And that doesn't rly happen in other contexts at least not to such an extent#photography#text post#Psychology#Nostalgia#Emotion#Neuroscience
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#i hate being around others who only know how to express their emotions by yelling and raging#it's so overstimulating and hard to repel that negative energy and not absorb it and feel it myself#despite who it is and why it's so exhausting and draining#I would like to not be here right now#can't wait to finally move out again#personal
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I've been thinking of half foot ocs and picturing ways for chilchuck to meet them and go "literally what the fuck is wrong with you"
#one who was left for dead on the 4th floor and has debilitating chronic pain so she can only work in the guild#but when her friend is cast into the dungeon and turned into a beast man she is resigning and ready to dive down herself#chilchuck of course is like '#' no absolutely not ill find a party who can actually acomplish this'#she still wants to come with and has a very teary reunion when they do find her friend#and then the ither half foot is her sister#cursed by black magic or some shit#but is so overwhelmed by her exploding emotions that shes practiclaly having an ongoing heart attack while she disembowel a goblin#for the crime of being near her when overstimulated#is that unrealistic? probably#do i care#yea#but you know how it is
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im already getting pissed at my mother and i havent even moved back yet 😭😭 why cant i just be happy bro im so sad my relationship with her is gonna be ruined again bc my dumb ass childhood trauma wont let me feel normal
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