#like dude went to prison there had to be a trial

[dynamightmite]

Do y'all think the sludge villain actually remembers Bakugo and Midoriya. Like enough to recognize them? Or does he just remember getting punched by All Might six times in one day and in between that he ate some children probably.

[blueishspace]

The Watchers court p3

Martyn: Court back in session, bring the second witness to the stand.

Tommy: Hello Jack!

Jack: ...Hi.

Pearl: Introduce yourself mate.

Jack: Jack Manifold, he/him, owner of the innit hotel.

Tommy: Oy! That's my hotel.

Jack: The previous owner died in prison so I took it.

Tommy: I got better you fucker!

Pearl: ... I see?

Punz: Ehm ehm, we have an examination to do your honurs.

BigB: O-oh right, you can begin your questioning.

Punz: Jack Manifold.

Jack: Punz.

Punz: It has come to the attention of the court that Dream might have taken some extreme measure to take care of... Thomas.

Pearl: That's a kind way to phrase it.

Punz: Perhaps you can shed the light on how much of a necessity they were to mantain the peace-

Tubbo: Objection! Leading the witness!

Grian: Sustained, try and rephrase it if you can.

Punz: ... Alright, do you happen to know if Tommy might have done something to deserve such measures?

Jack: Of course he did.

Tubbo: Jack? What are you doing??

Jack: Telling the truth! Tommy is a selfish asshole who cares about nothing but himself.

*Tommy steps backwards*

Tommy: Fuck you too Jack!

Pearl: Order in the court everyone. Continue with your testimony.

Jack: He is just a pretentious asshole-

Tubbo: Objection! Those are not offences, you are just insulting the prosecution!

BigB: ... Sustained, are there any actual crimes that you remember?

Jack: Wh- he started so many wars!

*Pearl and BigB look at Grian*

Grian: ... You do know who you are talking to right?

Jack: Like the disk war-

Tubbo: That was Dream technically.

Jack: The L'Manberg war!

Tubbo: And that was Wilbur.

Jack: ... Manburg vs Pogtpia.

Tubbo: That was Schlatt...and Wilbur.

Jack: ... ... Doomsday?

Tubbo: Techno. And Phil. And Dream. It wasn't even a war.

Jack: H-he burnt George's house!

*Ranboo walks back in*

Ranboo: T-that was an accident...and partly my fault.

Jack: Well- he... he... he killed me!

.

.

.

Tommy: Uh?

Jack: The fuck you mean "uh?".

Tommy: Did I kill you?

Jack: ... YES! You pushed me into lava!

Tommy: N-no, that was just a vision, that didn't actually happen.

Jack: It did! I had to crawl out of because of you!

Pearl: People, as much fun as this is we are putting Tommy on trial. This is a trial against the defendant, Dream.

Grian: Yes, the reasoning come second and I doubt this witness convinced anyone of Dream's innocence.

Tubbo: Wait!

BigB: ...?

Tubbo: I... Tommy said he tought it was a vision.

Grian: He did, yes.

Tubbo: Jack, did this death happen while Tommy was in exile?

Jack: It...did.

Tubbo: Now the question is, why did Tommy assume it to be a vision? Well, if this death happened during Tommy's exile, one where Dream looked after him the whole time, then I think the defendant is suspect.

Grian: ... Sustained. So, what do you need?

Tubbo: I need to speak to the three people who saw Tommy during exile. I call to the stand Dream, Ranboo and Ghostbur!

Tommy: ... Four.

Tubbo: Uh?

Tommy: I call to the stand MD as well!

Grian: So... when did you meet Tommy, in this "exile" specifically?

Dream: Well, I led him to his exile like I was ordered too.

Ranboo: I... I would visit Tommy sometimes near the beginning... I stopped after a while...

Ghostbur: Oooh! The holiday! I went with him and Dream! He looked sad so I would give him blue!

MD: I don't know man but he looked shitty when I arrived! And that Dream dude was there too man.

Tubbo: What do you remember from that time?

Dream: I took the initiative of making sure Tommy wouldn't escape, my responsability as an admin you see.

Ranboo: Tommy...he used to be so happy when I visited him but then... I stopped.

Ghostbur: We built houses together! It was fun! He used to look at me weirdly but I think we became closer friends after a while!

MD: Let me tell you man. It was a mess over there, seen rats living in better conditions then he did.

Punz: ... Did the topic of ...visions ever come up?

Dream: Oh yes, sometimes he said he would see things that weren't there... I suppose it is my fault I didn't expect it to get that bad.

Tommy: Bullshit.

Ranboo: I... I don't know, I don't remember too well, sorry.

Ghostbur: Visions? I... hmmmm. I think so... It was... Uh what was I saying again? Oh right! I think I heard him mentioning seeing something once!

MD: Oh yes man, it sure did. The kid was terrified man.

Tubbo: What did Dream do?

Dream: ... Nothing more then was already said-

Ranboo: He lied!

Grian: Oh?

Pearl: Go on mate.

Ranboo: He said Tommy didn't want to see me anymore! I remember! It was a lie! You wanted to be alone with him!

Ghostbur: He...well, he sent me out once under the snow. He knows I melt but maybe he forgot... That was the last time I was able to see Tommy for a long time, I got lost I think ...hmmmm.

MD: He killed me. The kid said Dream was his owner and then he killed me!

Tommy: ...

BigB: Do you have something to say?

Tommy: He told me I imagined it... that MD died of overdose and I had hallucinated it.

MD: ... He did what? Fuck you, how dare you!

*MD jumps on Dream*

Grian: ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT!

*in the jury*

Squiddo: ...

E1!Jimmy: ...oh.

Knight!Grian: Holy hell.

Grian: Is the prosecution satisfied?

Tubbo: Sure am.

Grian: Taurtis, bring the witnesses out please.

Taurtis: On it!

Martyn: Watcher and Listeners, there will now be another break and then will be the last witnesses.

Prev Next First

[sleepy0s]

That was so three weeks ago.

Gem: Didn't you die?!

Xelqua: That was days(weeks) ago, dude. Things change.

Yall I had so much motivation. Please enjoy, this is nearly 1000 words!

865 words.

~~~~~~~~~

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” The tall watcher spoke, towering over the shorter watcher kneeling on the floor, wings limp. “Well?” 

The hermits were stood at the entranceway, being held in place by guards. They had to wait apparently, before they could see the ‘leader’ and then they would inevitably be arrested. Which meant they had a great view of the … Trial? Going on. 

“Speak!” The watcher yelled. The voice was scratchy and wrong. The smaller one didn’t speak. He didn’t even move, not even as the taller kicked him. There were no sounds of pain or any signs that they even felt the attack. 

“Why aren’t they doing anything?” Gem whispered to Xisuma, keeping her voice quiet to not get in trouble. She seemed generally worried for the poor thing. “I don’t know..” Xisuma murmured back, eyes not leaving the scene.

“I’m not dealing with this today.” The ‘leader’ hissed, grabbing a staff from inside his robes. He held the staff in his hands for a second, as if inspecting the design. He held the staff in the air, hovering above the small watcher, who still didn’t react, eyes trained on the ground in front of him even as his life was about to end.

“Wait- he’s not going to... Right?” Gem mumbled, eyes wide as she watched what was going on.

The watcher brought the staff down, impaling the boy through the chest, a small gasp could be heard from the boy. Gold blood oozed out of the wound as the boy went limp on the floor. “Guards! Tidy this up.” He yelled, walking away from the body and turning his attention to the hermits, who were staring in disgust. Some looked like they were going to throw up, others enraged and the rest frozen in shock at what they had just witnessed.

“Ahh! Visitors? Or maybe prisoners.” The watcher smiled at them, and unlike the rest of the watchers, this one wasn’t wearing a mask at the moment. So they could see all of its eyes, and its sharp teeth, and the wings... They saw the thing in all of its ... “holy beauty”.

~~~

That was two days ago. And they had been thrown into a cell. But at least they weren’t alone? As in, they had a neighbour. A tall, young-looking boy had been thrown into the cell opposite them around an hour after they had been arrested. He had black hair, headphones and purple wings that were way too large for him. Not to mention the raggedy robes he was dressed in. But he was a good neighbour, he answered their questions, asked his own questions and wasn’t rude. Although he had a very noticeable accent.

The noise of metal scraping across the floor was all that could be heard as the door to the dungeons was opened, accompanied by the click-clack of shoes. “Put me down! I can walk!” An angry voice complained. The hermits noticed that at the sound of the voice, their neighbour seemed to light up, looking down the hallway. And so they did the same thing... And it’s safe to say they were shocked. 

The small boy who had been murdered a few days before was currently being led down the hallway, bickering with the guards who were dragging him behind. They could now see that he had fluffy, light brown hair, freckles, wings and not to mention, he was short. 

They threw him into the cell with their neighbour, who immediately engulfed the newcomer in a hug. Muttering things like, “I was so worried!” , “You took longer than usual!”, and “I missed you.” However, the hermits were very confused. 

All Gem could remember was the frail body that she had last seen bleeding out on the floors as he was dragged away. She could visualize the trail of gold blood that had followed the body as the guards couldn't be bothered to pick him up so they dragged him across the floor. “You-..” She began, voice quiet. Although loud enough the boy turned to look at them through the bars. (Still being held at the waist by the black-haired boy, who seemed to be refusing to let him go.) 

“Pardon?” He asked head tilted in confusion. (A very bird-like behaviour Gem noted.) “Ah… You- You died.” She began again, seeming unconfident in her words, “I saw you die. You were impaled... I- How.?” It wasn’t very often that Gem thought she was hallucinating, crazy or delirious. And she half thought that she was currently hallucinating, except if she was hallucinating then the other hermits wouldn’t also be staring. 

He laughed. The boy laughed, leaning back into the one holding him. 

“Wha- why are you laughing!?” The boy took a minute to calm himself before he sat up removing the hands around his waist as he attempted to move towards the bars. He half-succeeded, since as soon as he got to the bars he was pulled back into a hug by the taller boy who had followed. 

“Look, stranger.” He began, before pausing. “Sorry, strangers.” He nodded to the rest of the hermits. “That was like, so two days ago. Things change.”

[archivalofsins]

Not to be Mikoto centric but ya'll better treat this man better this time around. The double standards are so tangible they're stabbing me.

Mikoto doesn't wear a shirt while showering oh he knew what he was doing being shirtless so many times in his video- oh but Mu didn't know what she was doing with the socks and stuff. Oh, and Yuno in lingerie for all her second video nothing weird about that nothing to question there she's just being the icon as usual.

This dude was taking a fucking shower in his own home.

Mikoto shows or alludes to the idea he committed murder wow that's fucked up- Mu stabs someone in her first video. Ahn, there's probably a reason here like she said in her voice drama it was probably self-defense we saw a stabbing, but we don't have enough info yet soo...

Mikoto in his fucking first music video-

"“I” will save “me”." - "I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right."

Throughout the first trial and now the other guy makes it rather clear he only shows up in order to defend/protect himself or in response to stress.

"Agh! Fuck... Fuck...! Stop pissing me off!"

Mahiru is shown literally forcing food on someone regardless of her intentions or what she believed of the situation. Ah, well, that's clearly a visual metaphor, look at the glitching and warping in the video-

Nobody better come at me with the man in Milgram have it too easy like ever- One it's only certain men let's get that straight. Two Mikoto is a strikingly good example of the shit men aren't allowed to get away with and women are. Like sexism exists and affects all genders differently yes it affects certain genders more than others but it does impact all genders.

People were fucking this man over specifically. As trial two goes on I'm like people really voted this man guilty over TikTok then had the audacity to make it about his character like it was his fucking fault that his song is good- THEN not even a trial later contradicted themselves. Contradicted themselves so hard that people can look at the results of trial one and say, "Yo, why did all these people who we explicitly see murder people and animals get voted innocent and three who we don't even see do anything guilty? Who the fuck made that call?"

I could at least give you guys the Futa one like at least we saw him do something. Yet, now by the logic some people are using for Mahiru's second trial video right now we can't rightfully say we saw Mikoto do anything. It's kind of up in the air now. Though we definitely didn't see Amane or Mahiru do anything trial one.

It's really just some bullshit. I don't even have to bring up Futa and Kotoko as an example to strengthen my point. Some people just fucked this guy over that hard. For things that were all completely out of either of their control mind you. I abstained that wasn't on me. I wasn't there- I was there, but I did not vote because I was ignoring the guy. I saw that video and went nope I don't got anything to say about that you do you.

Then the next trial voted on Amane and that's the first person I voted on. So, whatever the fuck others were doing the vote for fine and dandy. The reasons I saw though bad at drawing, bad fashion, fuck tiktok, he's such a faker- Like damn it was just all pure hatred look at his fucking verdict in comparison to every other guilty prisoner-

Mahiru and Futa weren't even guilty by much and their videos were pretty fucked up. Their verdicts were close too at 55 but Mahiru being viewed as a bit more guilty. They had a similar severity to them, but Mahiru's was a tad more graphic. So, I wonder if Amane's will be a bit tamer since she has the smallest Guilty percentage.

However, Haruka and Mu's videos were messed up as well and they were Innocent- So, it really depends on how the person interprets it. Knowing Amane and Mikoto's personalities their mvs will probably be worse than the other's but in a very surprising or subversive way.

Especially considering their trial two voice lines,

"So, I wasn’t forgiven. How cruel, even though I said I didn’t do anything. It’s making me resentful."- " So you decided you don’t forgive me. If you don’t fix your way of thinking, we’ll never forgive you for all eternity."

I'm saying all this not just to point out the blatant hypocrisy- But to go remember this moment and all the nuance being used here when Mikoto comes up, when Kazui comes up, when Amane comes up- Remember it because a lot of people are gonna act brand new when that happens.

Suddenly it's gonna be different when it shouldn't be.

[t1gerlilly]

Well, there’s a bit earlier in this post where they’re mixing up the Puritans with Church of England. I mean, they were definitely Protestant, but they were definitely persecuted by the Church of England, as were other religious sects, like the Quakers, who were also part of the founding of the commonwealth of Massachusetts and other states. The Quakers were a lot more “extreme” than the puritans - they “quaked” with religious ecstasy and pulled shit like walking into puritan worship naked and covered in ashes while holding chains. They also refused to swear on the Bible and other stuff that is easy to label as “extreme”. Plus, they were pacifists- the reason that George Washington didn’t torture prisoners during the American revolution was that he DID torture quakers who wouldn’t fight when conscripted in the French and Indian wars and had realized it didn’t work. The puritans treated Native Americans badly - that was definitely their worst sin. But they were more egalitarian than most sects. They allowed women to preach and own property, for example.

But the Puritans weren’t violent. They weren’t extremist in that sense. They put people in stocks and hanged them occasionally. But they always preferred public shame as a punishment (think ‘the scarlet letter’). Given that one of my ancestors was the first Protestant minister burned to death in England, it’s hard for me to see them as extremists when compared to, say, the Catholic Church or the Church of England. They were just very, very irritating to people in power.

Also, the witch trials were also mentioned, but the witch trials weren’t religiously motivated or run by the church - it was more like a bunch of pre-teens on a power trip creating a moral panic that allowed the men in town an excuse to victimize women who were single and/or older. A bit like Qanon people, but with lurid stories of naked dancing and demons.

Still, that aside, we’ve never had the kind of persistent religious violence in the US that Europe has suffered. That’s in no small part because of the multiple waves of people who emigrated to the states to avoid religious persecution, to the degree that the founders did write it into the constitution explicitly.

I’m sure that the same textbooks that paint Christopher Columbus (may he rot in hell) as a good dude probably also simplify the religious practices and history of the various sects in the early colonies - but there’s more truth there than in the bullshit they shovel about a lot of stuff. I get annoyed when people try to simplify things, but just in another direction. The puritans (and Quakers, shakers, and other Christian sects aren’t all good or bad - but I guess I have some sense of the good because I live in Massachusetts and grew up partly as Quaker (though we call ourselves the Society of Friends).

The Quakers are still “religious extremists” in that their pacifism has caused them to walk into nuclear testing sites to prevent the testing of nuclear weapons. One woman I knew as a child refused to pay the portion of her taxes that went to the military - and ended up with a lien on her house. That same woman organized our meeting to make Christmas baskets for prisoners every year.

Like, I’m not a churchgoer, but I’ve read the Bible (and the Qu’ran) and I can’t help but feel that the Quakers I knew as a kid are a lot closer to what god’s message was supposedly to inspire than a lot of mainstream churches. Just a reminder that “mainstream” doesn’t always mean better.

[the-firebird69]

Gym Fight Scene | The Punisher #Shorts

I'm kinda upset about today at the gym there are too many people at him he had too many people looking dumb Odd strange looks And it was too much of that. But they had a plan and something went bad and they're saying this his fault dude didn't say but it was her then they keep talking and talking so they believe in it they have computers and they know how it works but you start to think that they might be doing something fairly evil to themselves start to whine and demand stuff and we said no thanks so we had to stop them. Her son hadn't experienced and he didn't have enough potassium and he's potentially heading to that tonight he had some orange juice which is good he needs more so we're suggesting he have something but really this has been a trial and you guys are just pouring it on is that there alone you're bothering him about everything in a bicycle you're you're nuts we're gonna come here and flatten your **** heads that's what he wants and he's asked for us to help him and to do that for a long time say if he could he would but there's too many. And they're constantly trying to kidnap him for like 20 years it's exhausting he's getting through it and we're gonna plow through you people pretty soon but you need to leave you need to get out of Florida. Too many of you are still here and you're dumber than hell. Vasilia doing you're running around circles after each other grabbing things taking things losing things that's fun and we're using it but it's not productive enough here to go through it 'cause you're gonna do it out there anyways there's not enough information in you that we need for you to be allowed to behave this way. I'd rather have you all lucked up in the funny farms. And by the way soon he's going to the prison in Florida which was a little boy in school and he was killing people there and somewhere max and others in their families want him there to get rid of the people there and they probably will do that soon there's other things happening the Rings have about 300 million from each side and more are coming in by the end of tonight it will be about 400 million each side no about 7 or 800 million each side and it'll be 3.3 billion each side dead of their leadership if they continue. not each side of it'll roughly be about three billion Mack Morlock and 2.3 billion pseudo empire. It's gonna be a lot and also the leadership will go down to probably 11% with the match more lock and 28% pseudo empire. They're losing leaders and they need them. There's a few more things happening the areas like this are evacuating they're going to the west of the middle areas and they're not doing well they're fighting with the Pseudo Empire out there the numbers are dwindling but they're not low enough for anybody to breathe easy there's far too many and it could be a lead in for the empire. So people don't want it to happen and the sending groups in to stop them and to take their stuff and it's happening so they're trying to raid areas that they think have stuff and they don't care who it is but it's usually them each other. So now there's all these big groups even the pseudo empire going after the other guy's stuff and it's going back and forth in the West and the South. They're diminishing and at a quick pace. It's about 300 million an hour now it's a lot it's it's probably 0.1 percent an hour globally and increasing and yeah it wasn't like that before. It is a huge huge function now plus there are other factors that come into play with regards to attacking the middle areas. We are going to force people out shortly and we're going to tell them you must leave now this place is going to be evacuated and we're going to say all sorts of stuff. Now if you don't evacuate we're gonna rip you out. There's tons of people who say they'll just sit there and it won't do. Now it's like at the Kansas band it is about 12% average and yes about 35% of the top one tennessee band is about 10% the top band is about 30% they haven't been evacuating and slowed down again and it will speed up as they're fighting over the stuff again. It's a huge battle it went on today and they and they got bloodthirsty and started attacking each other very harshly it didn't cause that much but it's it's still going on there will be a few more changes coming tonight. It's a huge battle twice as much as last night and they did not have success in the Eastern Hemisphere both sides lost the Mack Morlock lost about 0.4 percent and the pseudo empire lost 0.2 percent those are huge numbers by the way and in the West we anticipate them losing twice as many each Tonight. Members are vast and yeah they usually lose them all. More shortly

Thor Freya

Olympus

the sahara was huge and terribly fst. most losses in one hour there it is a huge huge complex and the floor area is teh same squre miles as all of africa if you addu p all the floor in thier bnkers too huge ok

Hera

[heaven-s-black-box]

Second Chance- Godot & Maya

Return to File

Recovery date: August 23nd, 2020

Description: It starts with a rigged trial, and ends with someone hearing her out.

Notes: Recovered in conjunction with an anonymous researcher from research lab Ao3, we thank them for their contributions.

Word count: 630

Back to directory

He’s not even trying, Maya thinks solemnly. After being assigned to her, Mr. Grossberg had turned her down, her attorney never even bothered to talk to her. Even the detective who arrested her seemed to believe she was guilty, no matter how much she protested. It almost felt rigged, like the trial was just a formality.

She couldn’t help but wonder what her sister had meant to give her. Maybe it was the reason this trial felt so off? She’d seen it all the time in crime shows. The killer was some evil rich dude that the victim was closing in on, and the killer paid everyone off. Then the super good main character cop takes them down and the scapegoat is freed… But reality never was like the movies, was it?

I’m not an adult though, so I should be going to juvie. Not that it’s any better.

“The court finds the defendant Maya Fey guilty. Her sentence will be life in prison,” the judge said, slamming down the gavel. Her eyes widened as the bailiffs helped her up.

“What?! No. How is that fair? I’m still technically a minor!” She yelled, struggling against the bailiffs. “This isn’t fair!”

For the first little bit, she’d begged for a retrial. She told them about her phone, and the recorded call, but it was never found. With no new evidence, a retrial was impossible. Still, she clung to a thread of futile hope.

Despite the fact she had to wear a jumpsuit, she kept her magatama around her neck and her hair in her bun. Everyday, she tried to channel Mia. Everyday for a year, she came up empty, and her hope slowly began to fade. Six months into her sentence, she traded her high-platform shoes for prison slippers. A year in, she let her hair down and got rid of the beads. The magatama broke when she threw it against a wall a year and a half into her sentence.

“Ms. Fey, you have a visitor,” Maggie Byrd said, opening up her cell. Maya tilted her head to the side.

“Who is it?”

“A man named Godot, he says he knew your sister.”

For the first time in a while, Maya felt hopeful. Even if the name didn’t sound familiar, maybe he’d hear her out.

“So, you’re Maya?”

“Uh… yes sir? Who are you?”

“My name is Godot, I was your sister’s boyfriend.” Maya couldn’t remember Mia ever mentioning a boyfriend. “You know… She talked a lot about you. So let me ask you this, why? Why did you kill her?”

If this confrontation had been a year ago, she may have burst into tears. She may have sobbed and pleaded for him to believe she didn’t do it. Now, she just scowled.

“I didn’t.” Her voice was level. “But no one will believe me. Not to mention I’m almost positive my trial was rigged.”

“And what makes you say that?” He was mocking her, humoring the girl he believed killed his love. 

“My sister… she wanted to give me some evidence to hold on to. She never told me what it was, but she said it was important. I recorded our phone call but… they never found it.”

She expected him to laugh, but instead he leaned forwards.

“Where did you have it last?”

“I- I had it with me when I went to see her. It must’ve fallen out while I was there… But it’s been years, the office has changed ownership. There’s no way to find it.”

Godot looked down. “If, and I mean if, I look into this and find out you’re lying, I will kill you myself,” he growled, as he stood up to leave.

“Where are you doing?”

“To get your old phone records!”

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

September 5, 2023

AGE OF RAGE: COUNCILMAN CONVICTED OF HURLING F-BOMBS

OK Wilson, this is serious. Park City Councilman Jeremy Rubell was found guilty of spewing the F-word at cross-country skiers and fined $160. Just imagine if everyone dropping the F-bomb was penalized by the judicial system. We could retire the national debt. Rage is fulminating from coast to coast. Thank you, Fox News. Passengers are punching out flight attendants, patients are threatening to kill healthcare workers and if you're on a local school board, watch out. Councilman Rubell lives next to the Park City Golf Course, which is used as a cross-country ski track in the winter. According to a police report, a group of skiers paused last winter near his house and Rubell flipped them off — just because. When the salutation was returned the councilman let loose with a slew of expletives that witnesses said went on for five minutes. "You f***ers are always doing this ... don’t worry, we’re going to shut you f**ers down." No Wilson, we don't know if he's a MAGA man, but like many people he's had it up to here. Some say 2016 presidential candidate Donald Trump gave people permission to act out on their frustrations. But long before that, right-wing conservatives found ways to monetize hate. That's about as American as you can get. Patriotic hating. Land of the free, home of “up yours.”

WHO'S THE APPRENTICE NOW, FAT BOY

“You're Fired!” Then-real estate mogul Donald Trump gained notoriety when he hosted the popular reality TV show, “The Apprentice” on NBC from 2004 through 2006. The audience would wait each week for Trump's signature edict when he would bellow at the contestant (apprentice), “You're fired!” Don't look now, but Trump's criminal trial in Georgia will be live streamed and this time Trump will be the apprentice. But instead of looking to secure a job he'll be trying to stay out of prison. For that he'll need “not guilty” verdicts to each of the 41 charges leveled against him and 18 co-defendants. District Attorney Fani Willis will play host, but she's unlikely to question Trump directly, unless he takes the witness stand. That's about as probable as Trump not lying about his weight — 215 pounds? Ha! Willis will present evidence, like the telephone call on Jan. 2, 2021when Trump told Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger “to find 11,780 votes... ” His strategy to stay in power was reminiscent of Borat romancing Pamela Anderson. If the former president was looking to advance as a coup director, the jury might have told him, “You're fired!” Who — except congressional Republicans — would hire this dude to pull off a coup d'tat. You're fired! And don't let the door hit you on the way out.

PROUD BOYS OR WHIMPERING WUSSES

That wonderful, patriotic group of white nationalist thugs, The Not-So-Proud Boys will be cooling their heels in the slammer with plenty of time to ponder whatever the hell they were thinking when they attacked the U.S. Capital on Jan. 6. The Proud Boys might want to consider a new name for their neofascist organization of “real men” — something like The Beaten Boys or The Whimpering Wusses. Convicted in federal court of seditious conspiracy are: Joseph Biggs, sentenced to 17 years in prison; Zachary Rehl, 15 years; and Ethan Nordean, 18 years. Proud Boys leader, Enrique Tarrio, was sentenced to 22 years for seditious conspiracy. Those are the longest sentences of the 1,100 tried so far in the 2021 insurrection. Like most of the others, The Proud Boy leaders whimpered and sobbed upon sentencing: I messed up. I was seduced by the crowd. Bad judgement got the better of me. What happened to the breast-beating ruffians who bragged of “political violence.” Here's a coincidence: In a 2020 presidential debate Donald Trump said: “Proud Boys, stand back and stand by.” An attorney for Biggs and Rehl said: “They're patriots, not terrorists.” And the Earth is flat and Jan. 6 was just a fun family outing filled with love and unity.

Post script — That'll do it for another fun-filled week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of Burning Man so you don't have to. Well Wilson, people go to the nine-day event in the middle of Nevada's Black Rock Desert for a variety of reasons, some of which we can't mention here. Back when you and the band took your annual pilgrimage there, only about 7,000 or so original thinkers and old hippies made the scene — this year, there were 70,000. These days some folks fly in on private jets and stay in luxurious camps with private chefs, all for a cool 50,000 bucks or so. These Bourgeois Bohemians give new meaning to “communing with nature.” If you're a celebrity you've got to be seen as Burning Man at least once. The spectacle is, more and more, for cool people who want to get noticed “connecting with their creative powers.” This year when heavy rains turned the ancient lake bed into a giant mud pit — the so-called “Burners” really did have to get creative. Comedian Chris Rock reported the portable toilets could not be emptied. There was an inch of water in every tent. Food and water were in short supply. Your'e right Wilson, if that doesn't get you in touch with nature, what would?

Well, we've lost another one. Jimmy Buffett has gone to the big Margaritaville in the sky. Seems like people just keep dying: Christine McVie, Jerry Lee Lewis, Meatloaf, Chick Corea, Bunny Wailer, B.J Thomas, Dusty Hill, Nanci Griffith, Charlie Watts, David LaFlamme and the list goes on. So grab the band, Wilson, and take us out with a little something for those Parrotheads:

Nibblin' on sponge cake Watchin' the sun bake All of those tourists covered with oil Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing Smell those shrimp They're beginnin' to boil Wasted away again in Margaritaville Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt Some people claim that there's a woman to blame But I know it's nobody's fault Don't know the reason Stayed here all season With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo But it's a real beauty A Mexican cutie, how it got here I haven't a clue I blew out my flip flop Stepped on a pop top Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home But there's booze in the blender And soon it will render That frozen concoction that helps me hang on Wasted away again in Margaritaville Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt Some people claim that there's a woman to blame But I know, it's my own damn fault (Margaritaville — Jimmy Buffett)

[siryouarebeingmocked]

>I had meant to imply that yes, false accusations can ruin a man’s life, as they have done here, but this circumstance is so rare. Like, please be reasonable. You have seven examples.

For someone who said they chose the wrong word when they said "hypothetically", you're still using words to exactly the same effect.

Also, OP implied this never happens. Not rarely, never. Even if we assume actual rape accusations are much more common than false ones, then it stands to reason that there would probably be even more actual rapist men whose lives get ruined by accusations.

So OP was not only wrong about false accusations, but about real ones too.

Like the two I named, whose lives were also ruined by accusations of sexual assault, before they even went to trial.

Which you either missed...or ignored in your count.

Just like you haven't said a single word about OP's obviously stupid argument.

Just tried to move the goalposts.

I also mentioned #MeToo, which, y'know, ruined a lot more men's lives. I'd say the count is way past 7 at this point.

In fact, it seems a tad odd that you're bringing up stats for the US, and acting like they justify ignoring cases in Europe.

You did actually look up the stories, right? Not just dismiss them out of hand?

Because only one happened in the US. The one where the dude actually went to jail, for 28 years. Almost half the dude's life. The only evidencce, according to one of his lawyers, was the victim's dream.

And the only one with an explicit country of origin in the screenshots is, um, from France.

Again, if you can look at all that suffering, and say they're essentially irrelevant because of a standard you made up from thin air just to have an excuse, I don't think you have the moral high ground.

Also, your first source is an Irish rape advocacy organization, which obviously may be a tad biased in favor of assuming rape. It says that the UK police survey/study found 1 in 40 accusations were false, and Victoria, Australia got a little over 1 in 50.

So, not very common, but not irrelevantly rare. That's about the chance of a random American being biracial (or tri- quad-, etc.x).

Your second source says that study results range between 2% and 10%. 1 in 10 is not what I'd call statistically negligible. Your last source quotes the same stat.

And your third source says the UK rate is apparently around 4%. So 1 in 25. A little under the chance that a random person would be Black.

And about four time more than the chance of that someone being Black Caribbean, like me.

>As I’ve said to your mate, men are more likely to be raped than falsely accused. If you genuinely care about men’s rights, you’d advocate for lowering sexual violence rates rather than spreading misinformation about a non-issue that makes it harder for both female and male victims to come forward.

Nonsense.

I'm more likely to die in a car accident than being struck by lightning, but I still look both ways before crossing the street, and I don't dance in a thunderstorm on a golf course.

Caring about issues is not binary, and frankly, I don't believe your concern for men is sincere. Especially since you only started acting like you care about men when you wanted to morally grandstand.

It's also rather obvious when one of the stories you hand-waved away says the falsely accused man was raped (and murdered).

Also, turns out people who care about and discuss female on male malicious false accusations also tend to be people who talk a lot about how society ignores male rape victims.

Including in prison.

Where falsely accused men are likely to be raped.

Frankly, it's bizarre that you think we should focus on preventing male rape from happening (which is impossible, as for all violent crimes), but also to ignore how actual male victims are treated.

Maybe because that threatens ladies' victimhood monopoly.

I have spent the past 12 years I've had this blog talking about male rape and how society ignores (or even condones) it, so it's a tad ironic for you to imply otherwise.

It's only "misinformation" (IE wrong info) if you wildly misunderstand the point of providing counterexamples to OP's tweet, and move the goalposts clean out of the stadium.

I'd love to know how you think talking about men falsely accused by women is somehow bad for male victims of SA.

Well, no, that's a lie, I already have a headache.

[liltiffy777]

So my life and before i go into all of it YES i know only I can change it and OnLy I can make things better and walk away but what fun is that and what does that really accomplish i guess me myself i look at relationships as a challenge its a big battle that the both sides try to learn and adapt to one another's ways and stupid things they do....but ive met my match with this one we are 2 peas in a pod and i say that because im noy sure who believes in astorology or what not but my bday is may 22nd his ...may 18th so we're both on the cusp of gemini and taurus so SUPER HEAD STRUNG BULLHEADED A**H**** PRETTY MUCH in a nutshell so we are way to alike in alot of the bad traits we both dont know when to quit and stop he thinks im trying to be dominant and feels i need to be with a girl but lemme ask yall something here when a man is sitting there and talking crap all about you and your people are you just going to sit there and shut up like a good girl and let it go? I bet not i tell this man daily its 2023 not the 20s no more i dont have to do as you say and what not im not a puppet and no i dont wana be the man i just was raised by a very head strung women that told me there aint nothing you can't do that a man can and im sorry i look at girls and men as equal thats all i ever expect but no im dominant and i wana be the man and i need a girlfriend like then i say its his ego and pride that im stepping on nope instantly flips it on me and makes it all me me me me me all the things i said the pride and ego yeah its me kuz my mom raised me wrong she raised me to feel i was above everyone and can do no wrong and thats false i was raised with dont ever feel there is nothing you cant do and noone is better then the next and yeah but this one is a challange for me he well lemme rewind a bit in the beginning we had some trials and tribulations we have been together 4 years now and its at the end weve beaten on each other physically and mentally because of how much alike we are and i made a few mistakes that he uses against me daily i lied about having a pen pal Still when i got outa prison is when i met him the one im with now and i didnt think nothing of it because pen pals are a thing to just waste time and something to keep your mind at bay when ur locked up and i felt bad because i was in a relationship when i went down and he left me for dead and it killed me and it took a long long time actually i still not over it and funny story my ex lives in my apartment building yeah i said god you got jokes mind you no i havent talked to my ex at all and bet me and my dude got into it because i had to say something just in case he found out himself then oh man but it still didn't matter we fight about it daily that i had him move in here and blah. Blah blah blah no i didnt but anyways yea my ex is the one i say that got away kuz of my ignorance of messing up things going to prison messed the best relationship ive had ever up and here iam miserable but to stubborn to walk away theres more but im tierd of typing i can type for days seriosuly so any thoughts or suggestions let me in on some secrets to sucess here...

[ithisatanytime]

bladee & Mechatok - You

 i dont know why suddenly the kai the hitchiker post i made a while back is blowing up but people are commenting on it a lot and all saying the same thing really, most recently this

“ I guess you were so busy spotting his oh so obvious lies, you missed the part where the dude he hit with a hatchet didn't die? Wasn't even a severe injury, he literally just hit him hard enough to let go of the woman. “

look i misspoke, i knew the guy didnt die by the time i made that post i had already read everything that was available about that initial trail, i saw the guy he hatcheted sitting in the trial etc. etc. i misspoke but it literally makes no difference weather the guy died or not,. kai the hitchhiker is one of the most obvious pathological liars ever, and i specifically made that post because of how obviously he is this certain type of guy and people ought to study it, and if alarm bells dont go off when you watch his first interview you need someone more observant than you to help you make decisions about who you choose to consort with. we are lucky that we now KNOW he was a liar based on lying about being able to surf, and murdering another man (most likely his john) and fabricating some sob story about waking up at the guys house with cum in his mouth like the dude brought this greasy fucker home, at some point drugged him, fucked his mouth, didnt bother to clean up the evidence, tucked his ass in and went to bed. the sexual assault story has NO evidence and its fucking retarded, lol, and thats why hes gonna go to prison for murder, we have the benefit of hindsight now to know for sure the dude is a sociopath, and yet people still defend him. its hard to admit you’ve been tricked. 

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

if carlisle and dumbledore were put in each other's respective stories / dilemmas , how do you think they would react? how would a carlisle cullen have dealt with voldemort/grindelwald? and how dumbledore would have dealt with vampirism, etc? i almost view the two of them as a sort of foil to each other, not yet able to articulate why or how though

I mean, they'd live completely different lives, because they're completely different characters. It's very unlikely they'd end up in the same situations.

But alright.

Carlisle is Dumbledore

Carlisle's born in a working class family that quickly begins to fall apart. His father's sent to prison, his mother dies, his sister has a chronic illness that will never disappear, and it's just him and his brother left with very little chance of a future between them.

Handsome Gellert Grindelwald moves in next store with grand, new, ideas concerning the muggles.

Now, this particular Carlisle won't be Christian, he's a pureblood wizard and we can pretty safely assume that the Dumbledores were no more religious than any other wizarding family is.

It's a little up in the air whether Carlisle would be seduced by Gellert or not. Gellert is learned, foreign, and has all these radical, new, theories that weren't very prevalent at the time (well, anti muggleborn sentiment was, the facism was new). On the other hand though, Carlisle is also a man who once radically changed his own beliefs to something that went against nearly every edict of his previous religion. This is not a guy who takes things for granted and is not afraid to both confront himself and the true nature of the world he lives in.

And he has a deep respect for human life that, had it been any lesser, would have undoubtedly led to him eating humans as a vampire.

So, I'm going to say no, or if he does, it lasts up until Gellert says, "We should totally make the muggles our slaves." The muggles may have irreparably damaged Carlisle's sister, they may be hated by society, but they are free thinking beings who should be enslaved to no one. Carlsile raises his pacifism flag.

As a result, Gellert probably thinks he's a tool. Hot, of course, and intelligent, but a useless tool. Without somebody to bounce ideas off of/confirm his radicalization, Gellert has little to no interest in Carlisle or any of the Dumbledores. Gellert spends his time in Godric's Hollow then goes elsewhere, Ariana lives, at least for now, unclear how long her lifespan was going to be otherwise, Carlisle does not have the Gellert incident, and he and Abeforth remain on good terms.

Carlisle graduates Hogwarts and either is a) bullied into taking Flamel's apprenticeship opportunity by Abeforth who screams "DUDE, GET YOURSELF A FUTURE or b) immediately sets about trying to find a relatively high paying job so he can support the family. In the case of B, I imagine he goes to work for the goblins who seem to hire those straight out of Hogwarts with good enough grades. In the case of A, well, he goes to study alchemy.

Knowing Carlisle, he does a bastardization of both. He studies alchemy under Flamel and then works nights as a bartender in Paris or something to that effect. When he finishes, what career he does then is out in the air.

Given that, as a vampire, he had all the choices in the world open to him in terms of education (and tried many different things) before eventually settling on and sticking with human medicine despite the dangers, I think that's telling. Carlisle probably tries to get a job in something healing related.

However, that strays more into the "What if Carlisle was in the wizarding world" vs. "What if Carlisle was Dumbledore" so we'll say that the idea of teaching appeals to him and he returns to Hogwarts for the Transfiguration position.

This all goes well except then there's a first world war on, the muggle world goes completely insane, and no one understands why Carlisle's so upset.

And now we enter the world where Carlisle starts really making choices in Dumbledore's shoes.

First, Tom Riddle. Carlisle, I imagine, makes 100,000 times of a better impression than Dumbledore on the young Tom. He does not, for one, light his wardrobe on fire and threaten him. Carlisle might think this kid is weird, but he lives in poverty and an orphanage, much of his behavior can be explained from that. I imagine Carlisle becomes determined to take Tom under his wing.

I imagine at first Tom thinks this is excellent, LOOK HOW MUCH HE'S MANIPULATING THIS ADULT! And then he realizes that, no, Carlisle is perfectly aware he's a little shit. He just likes talking to Tom after classes about how to fit in with pureblood society/weird esoteric muggle philosophy.

Trouble is, Carlisle is so damn likeable (see his friends all over the world), that Tom can't help but like him. When the Blitz begins, and Carlisle undoubtedly offers Tom (and any other muggleborn who was not moved to the country) a place to stay, that seals the deal, the wizarding world might suck but Carlisle's a pretty cool guy.

Of course, Tom still thinks the government should be reformed or overthrown, but he and Carlisle actually sit down to talk about things like communism and facism (Carlisle's not a fan though the modern, muggle, form of democracy not practiced in the wizarding world is a weird concept to him).

My point being, it's unlikely this Tom Riddle becomes Voldemort or even really aspires to become him. You want more on that topic, check out these posts.

Grindelwald meanwhile, becomes a bigger and bigger deal, and things start looking... bad. However, it's not immediately obvious that Carlisle's the one who should do something about it. He's not a duelist, he's a professor, and his job is to teach the children. He may have been alright in school, but that was decades ago now. More, unlike Albus, he feels no personal responsibility, he knew Gellert, briefly, yes, but they had no real connection. Gellert spoke about insane things and Carlisle said, "Mm, don't like". Add to that that Carlisle's a pacifist, he's going to insist that someone trained for the position do the job.

Given canon, this means that Grindelwald likely invades and takes over wizarding England and, with a strong enough foothold, enacts his "enslave the muggles" plan. Which very well might result in a nuclear holocaust as Grindelwald was likely not keeping up with muggle technology and the muggle world war.

The muggle world collapses, which in turn causes society collapse, and the world may or may not be a nuclear wasteland that Tom and Carlisle get to wander around.

If Carlisle by some divine intervention has a prophetic dream of "YOU MUST DEFEAT GRINDELWALD OR DOOM DOOM DOOM" then he goes and tries to defeat Grindelwald. Considering Grindelwald has the elder wand, he probably needs Deus ex Phoenix to win, but if it worked for Dumbledore it might work for Carlisle.

Well. No one saw that coming.

Carlisle's an overnight sensation and a national hero, the hero of Western Europe even. He's suddenly being presented medals, honors, seats of power, and Carlisle desperately tries to refuse, feeling very squeamish that he's being given these things because he took it upon himself to murder another human being (yes, even a war lord).

Tom finds this funny and Abeforth is ureservedly proud and tells everybody.

All Carlisle wanted to do was teach children and now he has to reside over trials in the Wizengamot. This is terrible.

As for what happens to the wizarding world from there, well, inertia probably carries it along for a good while. However, antimuggleborn sentiment is still on the rise an even without Voldemort I imagine there's quite a bit of unrest.

I imagine Carlisle, not wanting in any way to be a political figure, is not nearly as outspoken as Dumbledore on anything. He just wants to be headmaster, guys, leave him alone.

Tom may or may not go into politics and do it for him. But he probably ends up teaching too and just laughs as the country collapses.

Harry Potter is an ordinary student who has no prophecy surrounding him. Carlisle did not recruit children to join an illegal resistance movement nor does he have a plethora of spies and moles in the ministry.

Harry Potter canon does not happen.

Dumbledore is Carlisle

Well, Dumbledore undoubtedly also burned witches and very much believed in their existence. An irony there. He may chase the vampire, probably isn't first in the mob, in which case he remains human or dies.

If he does survive being bitten, I imagine it pains him for a while, but I don't see Albus having the same willpower as Carlisle. Or at least, not as much, Albus probably ends up eating people. He at first probably tries to be picky and eats those who harm society in some way (pick your poison for what that means) and then over time becomes less picky.

They're just humans, after all.

Albus probably isn't invited to stay in Volterra, he's not all that interesting. He doesn't become a human doctor, he's just your ordinary vampire. He might hang around libraries as much as he can but that's about as far as that extends.

He probably turns a Gellert equivalent at some point as a mate and they have a grand time together.

Edward is never turned nor the rest of the Cullens and Bella dies in a parking lot.

[deathlygristly]

One of the currently airing kdramas the spousal person and I are watching is Good Partner, about two female divorce lawyers. It’s fiction, so this is a description of a fictional story. A Korean fictional story that reflects realities in Korean culture though.

The last two episodes were brutal. Like big trigger warning for domestic violence brutal.

A woman kept trying to divorce her husband because he was horribly abusive. I held the spousal person’s hand over my eyes for the scenes showing the abuse because I couldn’t take watching.

But South Korea does not have no fault divorce. The wife had to have evidence that the court would believe to be granted a divorce. So of course the husband was careful to go through her phone and delete everything and make sure she didn’t have evidence.

She tried to go to her family but her mother believed the husband and told her that she wouldn’t be accepted by her family if she got a divorce. That’s a much bigger deal in a culture descended from neo-Confucianism than it would be in the west.

The husband was the son of a rich man who owned a company and the CEO of the law firm had made a MOU deal with the husband’s father’s company, so the newbie female lawyer was asked to represent the abusive husband and get the divorce case dismissed. She brought in the experienced female lawyer to help her.

They realized the husband was terrible and they were conflicted because they also felt like they had to do their job. They were like okay we need accurate information to help you, so do you actually hit your wife?

He was so enraged by these women daring to question him and not immediately do what he wanted that he threatened them, and then he went home and beat his wife to death. He called the older lawyer to come to his house and see, and then he tried to kill her too and threatened her preteen daughter.

The younger one called the police and he was arrested, and the older lawyer had been recording the scene on a voice pen so he was found guilty. He only got 15 years though.

I said maybe in prison he’d kill a man so people would care, and the spousal person said maybe a dude who was in for life for drugs would be like okay, I heard you beat your wife to death and only got 15 years, so I should actually earn my life sentence and take you out.

The woman’s mother was at the trial and she at least took responsibility for not believing her daughter and she said that society needed to change.

I was like “Everyone in the US needs to watch this and then vote as hard as they can against people who want to get rid of no fault divorce.”

Like I have been very happily married for 22 years and I sometimes get annoyed by the anti-marriage sentiment on here, but without no fault divorce then I don’t care how awesome your partner seems to be right now, it’s far too much of a risk. So I support these women.

Oh, to clarify - I absolutely support everyone doing whatever they want to do and living their life in whatever way makes them happiest. What annoys me is people assuming that everyone else should make the same choices they do and stereotyping and generalizing everyone who makes different choices. That’s a different post, but the internet is combative and always goes for the paranoid interpretation. So I wanted to point out that it’s not not getting married yourself that annoys me. It’s the assumption that I should have been at the club, that it wasn’t my own decision, that I must be religious, that I must have kids, that I must do all the housework, that I can’t be happy, etc.

[seat-safety-switch]

In my city, the sanitation department does an excellent job of getting rid of garbage and keeping my neighbourhood beautiful despite my best efforts. Yesterday, I was throwing out half of a differential in my neighbour's black bin. Why? The trash-truck drivers get mad if the bins weigh too much, and I'd already tossed the tailshaft housing of a Super T10 in there the night before.

Naturally, his bin was very full – before you get excited, just diapers, it looked like, nothing good like a broken lawnmower. The pinion gear bounced out and rolled into the alley. Not one to litter on someone else's property, I bent over to pick it up and noticed something strange. A black ziptie was sticking out of the ground, with what looked like substantial highway wear. Did someone's underbody tray fall off trying to round the corner outside my place?

I tugged on the ziptie with a lot of force, but it wouldn't budge, like it was stuck in the ground. Eventually, I shrugged and went back inside, but it gnawed at me. Zipties work for me, not the other way around. As the evening wore on, I tried an increasingly heavy-duty set of tools to free the ziptie from its earthy prison, culminating in power-braking the Town Car with a length of chain attached to the little plastic zap-strap. Rather than break under this brutal assault, it pulled free of the soil and revealed itself to just be a broken plastic ziptie, driven into the ground over the years by the tires of scrap-metal-seeking trucks and other derelicts.

When I parked the car on my lawn, and got out, a strange dude in a hooded robe was standing in my driveway. Presumably, he had been waiting there with the expectation that I would park in front of my own garage, which is idiotic. The driveway is swap space, not storage; if I occupy it with a functional car that I'm not currently working on, then where am I going to do all my wrenching and swearing? By the time I worked one of the busted Darts out of the backyard and onto the driveway, I expected him to be gone, but he was still there.

"You have completed the Trial of Strength," he told me, "and pulled the Mystical Ziptie from the Rock. This proves you are the rightful heir to AMC, and must revive the Spirit of AMC – the AMC Spirit."

This dude droned on for awhile after that, but then he forked over some fancy-looking stock certificates and fled into the night. Indeed, on paper, I was now the owner of the AMC Motor Corporation.

The other thing that's great about my city is that, in addition to the black bin, they also give you a recycling bin for unwanted paper products.

[plinkcat-gif]

hi hello sitting in your inbox

i would like to know ur funny au

hi ok since u asked so nicely <3

disclaimer that i did not watch naruto and all my lore knowledge comes from narutopedia fjdkskfjskahd. also pretending that if anything prefaced boruto that involved plot happened, no it didn’t 🧡

also be nice to me i’m shit at writing plot and this is only a rough planning FJDJSKSJDJ and esp be nice to the ending it. it is rough. and bad. i will maybe improve upon it when i am more awake aksjdkakakdj

also i haven’t figured out much more than what’s mentioned about the antagonist because as mentioned, am tired

ok do you think i’ve cleared all my bases nobody can possibly judge me anymore because i already judged myself—/j /lh

blood prison

post war, kakashi is hokage and obito lives

new antagonist: hyuuga who took over root when danzō died

obito is put on trial, just like sasuke. he has to stay in konoha (kakashi takes full responsibility for him) and stay on house arrest for probably the rest of his life. he doesn’t mind this fate, and kakashi looks forward to perhaps rekindling their bond. obito stays in the ruins of the hatake clan home, and it becomes his project to rebuild them so that he’s not just a prisoner out of a cell (kakashi has to tell tenzo not to intervene unless absolutely necessary lol). obito’s chakra is also pretty much entirely sealed except for lifting heavy weights, which he needs to get permission from anbu to do. (had a thought that cat/tenzo watches over him most of the time, but somehow they’d need to resolve the tension between them after obito used tenzo against his will. obito hates asking him to do things (this is too heavy for me to move without mokuton, can you?) because he feels so much guilt for what he did and hates that tenzo might be “indebted” to him somehow. perhaps also a conversation along the lines of “do you need help with that?” obito’s frustrated and defensive, “no.” “how come?” /because of what i did to you/ goes unsaid, underneath obito’s attempts to get tenzo away. he says “you know, i can choose to help you right now.” awkward silence. “you’re not taking my autonomy away again. i wouldn’t let you, anyway.”)

until obito is kidnapped by root agents. the heavenly prison seal is placed on him, “under orders from the hokage.” obito’s furious at first, thinking kakashi betrayed him/didn’t try hard enough to stop it. he has no idea what the seal does, but the second he tries to mold a little chakra to jerk himself free of the guards’ hold, he’s on the floor being dragged to his cell.

kakashi spends a hot minute freaking out because dude, his bestie’s gone!! he’s asking everybody if they know where he went, coming up blank, wondering if he somehow escaped. he lashes out at tenzo once, before he just sits down tiredly. he’s sorry.

he sits a couple nights later in his office, ready to accept that obito may have gotten away and maybe he’s living a better life, until a note drops down on his desk: he’s not dead.

he sends the note to be analyzed. he attempts to track down any left behind chakra signatures, scents, or anything. of course, there’s nothing.

whoever took obito is good.

he goes to the hatake home to perhaps find some evidence with yamato. they search for evidence and yams makes some offhand comments about the architecture, how he could fix it so much faster if kakashi would just let him, and then they make it outside where kakashi just sits. he’s not giving up, but he’s exhausted.

yamato sits next to him on the porch, and kicks at a tree root that’s upset some nearby boards, creating a curve in the porch. he wonders how obito’s going to get rid of it, since when it cracks open under his feet, it’s revealed to be rotten. no good for mokuton.

they stop. they turn, and they stare at each other. “well that’s an omen if ive ever seen one.” kakashi sends yamato to get reinforcements, and then yeets over to the root base.

it’s completely empty. he descends the stairs, and can’t shake the feeling of roaches and infestation.

antag’s voice rings out: how can you let him live?

kakashi doesn’t answer.

why, i think there’s a fine line between befriending someone lonely and befriending someone who’s killed all the ones they were near, hokage. it’s important that we make that distinction, no?

the sound of feet landing on a metal grate platform. sasuke’s (?) voice, a curse. the door opens from above and yamato’s there.

there’s no way that Antag made a lucky dodge like that. they’re a hyuuga. sasuke saw their eyes, a brief glimpse as they turned around. but there’s no way the sharingan/rinnegan was wrong.

great. they have the proof they need, but this causes some tension, because which hyuuga?

kakashi has to ask hiashi if he knows of any stray byakugan users. hiashi is offended, because he knows his clan well, and refuses to answer any questions. besides, why should he care when it’s obito, who killed neji? (depending on public opinion, this is either because he’s genuinely learned from his mistakes or because he’s using neji’s death as a defense.)

kakashi leaves. he is stressed. yams tries talking to him but he’s not sure how to go about this when he doesn’t even know where to start.

obito is in a cell in root hq. roaches and infestation was just root agents blending into the walls <3 he’s slowly losing chakra and can’t use any, and occasionally Antag will come and almost-ignite it because he thinks obito deserves it.

obito talks back. antag tells him what he did wrong. about how he killed neji. obito says he doesn’t even know who that is. antag nearly lights him up. explains everything. “neji was going to defy his destiny and do you know what he did? died for the main branch anyway” as the bars of the cell rattle won’t be force of his blow.

obito finds it all too amusing because do you know where your worth came from when you were an uchiha in the war? your sharingan. and then he was raised in a cave by an old man that valued him only for his sharingan. “neji and i are a lot alike,” he says, which infuriated Antag to no end. obito almost dies that night, it feels.

chapter break probably

eventually obito’s had enough. despite this all, he’s been molding small bits of chakra, just enough to be cracking the wall behind where he sits. he spends most of his time gathering the energy to do this and arguing with anybody who comes by. he’s fighting this imprisonment because if he dies, it’ll be by kakashi’s hand.

it’s a huge risk he takes, because this could be easily seen with the byakugan. but Antag is arrogant enough to put too much faith in his own plan. the hole is big enough to fit his shoulders through, and that’s all he needs. he summons a shadow clone with the ounces of chakra he has left, hacks up blood, and tells it to go and find kakashi. it army crawls through the hole, breaks the rest of the way out, then buries as much as he can behind him. it’s hard work because he’s so low on chakra, but he makes it.

he finds kakashi in his office, makes his way upstairs and inside, says “root base,” and promptly puffs away.

meanwhile the hyuuga finally decides to check how much chakra he has left (in a show of power or whatever), and finally sees the escape plan. he’s furious, but at the same time triumphant because the hole’s unfinished. did obito really think he could make it out before he died?

obito plays up a dramatic scene of crumbling, “all hope is lost,” even begs Antag because he knows it’ll feed his ego.

chapter break?

whatever root agent was in his office to kill obito’s shadow clone is irrelevant because kakashi is already off. he makes it to root base in minutes, and is practically tearing through the place, avoiding root soldiers who were unaware they’d be getting a visit from the hokage.

as kakashi’s primary goal is distance and not defeat, he manages to make it past a good group of soldiers while they try and restrain him. he makes it downstairs, brings the entire wall down so nobody can follow, and continues his way to the prisons. (he has a map of root memorized from sai and tenzo)

he finds obito but unfortunately, also the Antag. Antag threatens to kill obito, who’s currently laying near-lifeless on the ground, and kakashi’s like shit what do i do.

he tries to calmly explain to the Antag a way out, but Antag yells over him about neji and the hyuuga clan and destiny, and The Seal.

and kakashi’s livid. both antag’s hands are cut off before he can breathe. “seal? the same seal that allowed the main branch to kill the servants from the side branch with a flick of their wrist? at the will of only themselves?”

Antag realizes what they’ve done in a few moment’s time. they’re apologizing profusely, and they don’t want to die, their hair falls away to reveal a crossed-out seal, crossed out by thick scars.

they’re only a kid, really. just, a really capable one. kakashi and obito know what capable kids can do.

kakashi imprisons the kid, chakra fully sealed away except for what’s needed to live. the kid has mandatory therapy sessions and many visits from naruto. years later, the kid is released. they apologize. all is well.

maybe some epilogue conversation between kakashi and obito about how obito should absolutely be imprisoned as well. he should not be let off this easy, living in secret. kakashi agrees, and admits he’s probably morally fucked for letting him and sasuke go free after only two years of prison time. but he’s not going to change his decision because he knows that he and sasuke are changed people, and, with maybe a bit of threat, he can stop them now that he doesn’t have the sharingan anymore <3

[karlnapity]

Heaven and Hell Were Words to Me

AO3 link

TWs: violence, manipulation

Now, Michael knows when things aren’t his business. He knows when things should be left to the past, when he shouldn’t pry.

And he doesn’t, not for the most part. He lets things happen around him, sticks to the side. He’s seen his fair share of chaos, had his part in it.

He doesn’t know what’s happening with the prison. He doesn’t dare ask.

But god, is it interesting. Something about it pricks his interest, makes him pay attention when it’s brought up. He doesn’t know if it’s the mystery, his lack of knowledge, a want to belong to something of the server. He tries not to pry, he really does, but sue him if he asks an extra question here or there.

After all, he’s a neutral party.

(He’s not. There’s an evergrowing feeling of dissent… it starts with the fact that there wasn’t a trial, then the fact that he has only a number of guards, and it grows and grows, but he doesn’t dare say anything.)

>

There’s a certain sort of discomfort when you’re the only one on the server. It’s so very quiet. Every time he mines a block, drops a tool, it feels so loud, so stressful.

It’s a strange feeling, a little shiver on the back of his next as he wanders through the usually vibrant server.

It feels wrong.

[Dream joined the game]

The uncomfortable feeling grows. He shakes it off. He can’t deny the way his interest peaks, but there’s no use wondering.

[Dream] michael come break me out omg

Oh.

Oh.

He can’t deny it’s slightly tempting.

...Okay. Pretty tempting.

Before he even really knows what he’s doing, he’s already slotting his pickaxe into his inventory, already pulling out his trident to jump in the water outside.

He’s not quite sure what possesses him, what drives him into the frenzy that carries him to the side of the prison, what drives him to throw his pickaxe against the wall despite the pressing ache of the mining fatigue.

There’s just the absolute, overwhelming need to <i>get him out</i>.

There are ever-present messages in the corner of his eye, and it only encourages him further.

His heart is beating in his ears. This is risky. This is stupid. This is what he needs to do.

He only gets so far.

[Awesamdude joined the game]

His blood runs cold. He gasps at the way his heart drops. The voice starts behind him.

“Michael. You don’t understand what you’re doing.” It’s not a question. It’s a threat.

He’s stammering something, desperately trying to think of something a little less insane than I was trying to break the only jailed criminal on this server out because he asked me to even as his brain shouts get him out get him out get him out now and then there’s a hot burning down his back.

He gasps in pain, stumbling forward. He turns just in time to see Sam raise his sword for another slash, cries out and backs away.

He’s whimpering something like please please please no as the message jumps into the bottom of his vision.

[Dream] He understands he’s just an idiot

[Dream] Kill him

Michael sobs, in pain and confused and so so scared. He blubbers something like he asked me to, please don’t, he told me to as if that would make it better, and Sam’s gaze shifts into something like disgust.

“I will not be this nice next time.”

And with that, he leaves the game.

Michael hauls himself to his feet, whimpering as it exacerbates the slash up his spine, and vaguely resists sending a why did you say that why I thought you wanted me to help why would you do that to me message.

He can’t. And he needs to leave anyways.

The climb out of the prison is painful. He didn’t make it to leave without another person He has to stop, a few times, just to make sure he doesn’t bleed out. He doesn’t have any healing pots. There’s no choice but to wait to heal on his own, or beg someone else.

He tells himself he’s lucky to have not lost a life. Every passing second a small, vindictive part of his brain resists that notion. It hurts so much.

He lays flat on the prison roof, legs still over the edge of the hole he used to climb in and out.

He’s probably just lost a lot of blood, but he plots a next break-in plan anyways.

He keeps checking for another message from Dream.

God. He’s either delirious or insane.

He rolls over and pushes himself to his feet again, already bracing for the drop off the edge. He instead stumbles and throws up what’s probably all of this week’s and last’s meals. Ow.

>

He’s just gotten down when he’s intercepted. He’s practically gasping for breaths now. He doesn’t want to know what kind of blood trail he’s left. He avoids looking to see how many hearts he has left.

“Holy shit, Michael, are you okay?” The voice is loud in his ears and it leaves his head pounding.

He opens his mouth, mutters something about I’m fine and a don’t worry about me, but he’s not quite sure what it is he says.

His eyes are having a hard time focusing, the ground pulsing and spinning around him. He’s having a real hard time thinking.

All of a sudden there are dots dancing in his vision. He turns to whoever is talking. He’s pretty sure he’s said I’m going to pass out if he’s lucky.

He falls. There’s a faint shout.

>

He comes to on a bed. It’s way nicer than his own.

He’s lying on his stomach. He hisses in pain. His back hurts. He’s almost at half health. At least it’s better than before.

He takes his time getting up and shrugs on the sweater left on the end of the bed. It’s painful to move, but he manages to get out the door.

This is Las Nevadas.

He had a suspicion the minute he woke, but this only confirms it. It’s only a simple house, but the glitz and glamor still make their appearance. He turns to examine it better.

“Like it?” He turns so fast it makes him dizzy. Quackity grins.

“Here, you look like you’re about to fall over. Come here.” Quackity takes his arm and leads him into the next room, seats him at a table.

“So, dude, what happened?” Quackity asks, and there’s actual concern there.

That’s interesting. They’ve hardly talked, after all.

He doesn’t want to say it. Quackity will try to stop him, just like everyone else.

“Sam was a bit angry with me,” he settles on.

Quackity frowns. “Sam? I know he’s been a bit short-tempered lately, but… did you do anything? That could’ve upset him?”

Michael sighs. He knows he’s not getting anywhere without actually saying it, and Sam will probably tell Quackity anyways. Better to get it out now.

“I maybe… kinda… triedtobreakintotheprison?” He runs his words all together, forcing them out as fast as possible.

Quackity freezes from where he’s turned to put on the kettle. “You… what?”

“Tried to break Dream out,” he mutters.

“Michael… why the fuck would you do that?” He demands, whirling around. He slams his hands on the table. His face is twisted into an anger Michael doesn’t think he’s seen before.

“He asked me to,” he says softly, as though he hadn’t already been thinking about it. “He sounded so sad. And he said he’d do anything, he was begging.”

He’s probably making his case worse, but it’s the truth. His heart hurts at the thought of Dream still stuck in there. He hopes Sam doesn’t do anything.

Quackity takes a long, deep breath and sits again. He takes Michael’s hands.

“Look, Michael.” Michael does. Quackity’s face is full of something like pity that he doesn’t understand. It unsettles him. “Do you know why he’s in the prison?”

He shakes his head. There’s a pit growing in his stomach.

“He.. he hurt all of us. He was our friend at one point, but something went wrong, I guess. But the main reason why he’s in there? Why he doesn’t have the right to go free like us? Manipulation, Michael.”

He doesn’t want to hear this.

“He was manipulating you. He wants out, and you’re the right person for it. Because you weren’t there to see what he did.

“He deserves whatever he gets, okay? Don’t feel bad. You don’t need to get in trouble with Sam for someone like that.”

It feels like a betrayal. He wants to slam his hands over his ears, barely resists. He wants to cry.

“He told Sam to kill me,” he whispers, and nearly clamps his hands over his mouth.

He didn’t just say that. He shouldn’t have. He doesn’t want Quackity to think of Dream any worse, why did he say that, if Dream knew he’d feel so betrayed, why did he-

Quackity rubs his shoulder in sympathy. “He’s evil. Sam wouldn’t do that.”

He doesn’t sound like he believes it himself.

He claps his hands together. “Look, Michael. I’m sorry this happened. I gave you some pots and you should be okay to go, there’s just some residual pain and stuff. There will be a scar, and I’m sorry for that. I’d recommend not going anywhere near the prison for a bit, Sam will have a conniption. And I’m sorry Dream did that to you. I promise it won’t happen again.”

Michael shivers. He doesn’t like the sound of that.

“I don’t want him to suffer,” he starts. “It’s okay, really-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Quackity continues smoothly, clapping him on the back. The way it only barely misses his wound feels almost intentional.

The air in the room feels oppressive.

“I have to go,” he says suddenly, rushing back to his room to grab what’s left of his things. Some of them are missing. Quackity’s shadow behind him no longer feels comforting.

>

He wanders, after that. Things feel so much emptier than before, even if nothing has changed. His brain isn’t together enough to get back to work, and he’s not sure if it’s residual effects of blood loss or something else.

“Hey, Michael!” He turns for the source of the voice. He smiles. Puffy.

“Hey.”

She runs up to him and sets a hand on his arm. Her face is pinched. “Are you okay?”

He shrugs then resists a wince at the way it pulls at his wound. “Yeah, why?”

She gestures up and down at him. “You’re kind of… bloodstained? You look like shit, sorry.”

“Oh.” Something tugs at him, a sort of contentedness at being noticed. “Yeah, you know, just got kinda. Lightly stabbed.”

She frowns and pulls him with her. “Come here, let’s get you cleaned up.”

As she sits him down at his second table for the day, he muses that there’s something about Quackity stopping the bleeding but leaving him blood-covered. There’s something there he’s not smart enough to dissect.

She dampens a cloth and runs it over his face, his arms, hands him one of her sweaters. She gasps when he turns to take off his own.

“Holy shit, Michael, what happened?” He doesn’t give her a chance to get a good look.

“It’s not important,” he mumbles. He sits and she resumes cleaning off his hands.

And that’s when he gets the message.

[Dream] are you ok

He gasps.

“Shit, Michael, you okay?” Puffy asks, incorrectly assuming she’s hurt him. He doesn’t respond.

[Dream] i hope sam didnt hurt you

[Dream] ily

He feels tears. Puffy, now thoroughly confused, sits next to him and rubs his shoulder while he cries.

“Can you tell me what’s going on?” She asks. “Because I would really like to know why someone stabbed you. Are you safe?”

Is he? Does it matter? He has to go back to the prison anyways.

[Dream] do you know when you can try again

He sighs, runs his hands over his face. “I’ve gotta go, Puffy, thanks.”

She grabs his hand, flicks off some more dried blood- how much did he lose, god- and frowns. “At least let me finish here.”

“No, but thank you.”

“Michael?”

He stops.

“My office is open whenever you need it, okay?”

He nods, even if it isn’t.

If she knew what he was going to do, she wouldn’t be this nice. It should sting a bit more than it does.

>

He stares at the messages. Dream has sent five more, throughout the course of the day, keeps asking.

He thinks of what Quackity said.

Dream can’t be manipulating him.

He can’t.

No one on this goddamn server gave him the fucking time of day until he got injured. Until he was visibly suffering.

Except Dream. Dream reached out to him, is nice to him, cares for him.

He needs to get him out. Michael is so excited to see him.

He piles up the blocks from the prison in his house. It’s a sign. A promise.

>

[MichaelMcChill] soon

[Dream] my hero