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#like constantly thinking that you could have done better
uglygirltrying · 2 days
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wolf-hybrid!simon x bunny-hybrid!reader | pt2 to this
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he did show you. it was so much warmer, than in your burrow.
it was easy to feel safe and warm enough, in his big arms, to eventually fall asleep. even if he was the hunter, your natural predator, you were basking in a warm hole, filled with his musk. your head went mush and fuzzy, eyes fluttering shut.
the wolf grinned and chuckled above you. what a silly bunny. your legs twitched, as you slowly went under. so compliant, no arguing when he took you, and you so easily went limp in his arms.
oh, you were going to be so much fun when the spring comes. maybe you'd be even more submissive, or on the other hand, maybe you'd get snappy. that'd be fun, simon thought.
he can already imagine the little bunny in heat, constantly rubbing against him, begging for a litter. if he feels nice, he might even give you one. simon smirks at the thought. such a sweet thing you are.
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simon felt reluctant to leave. what if you ran? well, he would surely find you, after breathing your scent in so much. but still, it would be a lot of trouble, to track you, and catch you again. he didn't want to go through all of that trouble. he didn't want you to run.
simon signed. he had to find food. some meat for himself, and maybe some bark for you. but he knew that you didn't have a strong enough reason to stay. a warm den? you surely could find another one around. a mate? not really, he basically just snatched you up, against your will. maybe if you fought more, he would feel guilty. but this, this felt like a love story. he found you, brought you home, and here you are, sleeping in his den.
he did have time to linger and think. he did hunt best in the dark after all. simon breathed out again. whatever, he thought. you could run. he'd catch you, and bring you back. whatever.
simon sat up, leaving the bunny girl to lay there. he crawled out of the den, and made his way to the surface. the sun is setting, the rays creating shadows of the surrounding birch trees. the snowfall has stopped. it's so quiet and calm. the snow is beautifully set and hard surfaced, glistening in the light.
the wolf stood up, and began his search for food.
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you felt disoriented. where were you? this isn't your burrow. your eyes slowly opened, drowsy, and confused. with a croaky groan, it hit you. where you were. why, and how.
you sniffed the air. the smell is so much lighter now. with a confused expression, you looked around the den. you're alone. huh?
why? where is he? is he hiding behind the opening, waiting to spook you and punish you, when you try to leave?
he's gone. it's your chance now. you can go, leave, run back home, to your burrow. the den is colder without his body pressed against you. it's almost as cold as your burrow. oh. it's warmer here. even without him.
it almost feels shameful to even hesitate leaving. you should! but you can't. you can't get yourself to crawl out and run for your life. how would he feel, coming back, into a empty den? a nest. that feels like an bad word. it's not your nest, not even your den. you're just... there.
why can't you leave? it's his fault, of course, he must've done something to you... are you feverish, why won't you run? maybe you're sick... running would only make that worse. and there's a perfectly good bed just under you.
you sighed. how pitiful. you laid back down. how embarrassing. but it felt so good, to just lay. don't you have a backbone? it would feel better if... it would be warmer. maybe even safer. if he was there. but is he even your protector. is this den a trap, why isn't he here?
thinking felt overwhelming. or maybe it was just the topic. but it felt exhausting. you should just not think. just lay there, and hope for his return. pathetic.
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simon's hands were full of bark. he already ate his meal. he didn't want to bring anything bloody into the den, it would surely disturb you. if you even were still there.
simon scoffed. it's useless to assume. he doesn't know anything about you. maybe you're waiting behind the opening, a rock in hand, waiting for him to stick his head in, so you can punish him, for taking you.
he sniffed the air. nobody else is around. at least not around the hole in the hill. the snow's surface was untouched, not counting his own footprints. maybe you were still there. hopefully you were asleep. sweet, and compliant. maybe you were awake, desperately waiting for him to come back and keep you warm.
he almost smirked at his own fantasies. how silly. you already have him dreaming. oh, he is hooked, simon chuckled.
with hands full of bark, just for you, simon stood above the entrance of his den. might as well barge in. and so he did. simon crawled into his den. and there you were. still asleep. in his nest. the wolf felt proud. he kept you around. here he was, bringing you food, while you just slept. that's how it's meant to be.
simon dropped the bark in a corner of the den. he almost rushed. he wanted to cuddle up next to you, hold you in his arms, keep you warm, and protect you. at light speed, he had crawled next to you.
even in your sleepy state, he had managed to startle you. you're eyes narrowed open.
"go back to sleep, bun..." he softly murmured to you. with a tired nod of your head, you closed your eyes, and fell back asleep.
it made simon chuckle. you will never have a reason to complain again. you're his now, after all. his.
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either this is my magnum opus, or im delusional ;( heart banner by @roseschoices
taglist: @famouscattale @nappingmoon @distinguishedprincesstrash @tame-the-lion-writes @s-a-v-a-n-a-34
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obsessedbtch · 3 days
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𝟐 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬, 𝟏 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞, 𝟏 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡.
hopkins! p. bueckers x fem!reader
summary: she can’t let you read her, she is so difficult to understand, you are tired of crying because of her.
warnings: angst!! paige doesn’t know what she wants.
note: kinda short, trying to make my writing more smooth and understandable
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“sometimes it’s better to close the window no matter how beautiful the view is.”
scanning once again the notes you toke from spanish class, the blue ink keeping company to the paper and the little sticky notes spread around this one. in a few days you had an exam, being the paranoid person you are, wanting anything more than a perfect score made you study everything you have been seeing since day one, finals were around the corner. you decided to study all the way to north carolina. wanting an excellent grade wasn’t the only thing disturbing your mind, a certain basketball player was also bothering you, maybe that’s why you couldn’t make the information stick in your brain.
it bothered you, it bothered that you couldn’t understand her, you tried, but she was so difficult to read, she refused to open up to you, even though you have been dating for quite a while, maybe it wasn’t even dating, it felt like you were just fuck buddies, a shoulder to cry on, a friend.
some times she couldn’t keep her hands to herself, her hands being glue and your skin being paper, it was difficult to take off once glued together. other times, she wouldn’t even take a glance at your direction, making a conversation with everyone except you, it made your eyes itch with tears and your throat tightened.
the only ones to observe they way you will agonize for her, was the brightens of the moon and the stars, highlighting beautifully the black sky when it came dark, looking down on you laying on your backyard while your parents where gone, you thought that your pillow was sick of having to absorb your salty tears.
some how, the itchiness of the green grass beneath you, the full round moon, with small white dots shining around her, brought you comfort, when the cold was to much to handle and it felt like a rough breeze surrounding the nude of your arms and legs, it filled the noticeable hole in you heart, filling it up with comfort, the one you desired so bad.
you have a bad habit, a terrible one. is it really that bad wanting, desiring something so bad? it truly is if its making you feel all kinds of ways, but not the ways that made you feel loved, or make your breath shaky and unstable when your heart started to speed up.
you could write about her to the point of suffocating, not thinking the right words to describe her, staring at her was like looking a blank paper, you don’t know what do with it until they gave you instructions, you don’t understand why is it blank, it doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t express anything, it’s so difficult to understand.
“i cried while writing about you in my diary.”
you couldn’t stop writing about her.
it was so late, you couldn’t bother taking a look at the clock.
the sound of little rock’s hitting constantly on your window was something to familiar, you knew that perfect aim to well, it made you write even more faster, not taking note about how awful your writing became the more you write about her, it was so noticeable, the words coming from the bottom of your heart and the cold tears threatening to came out like water falls from your eyes once you blink, it made your eyes even more watery and burn from not blinking, not wanting to ruin your perfectly done homework.
finally giving up, fixing your posture, you allowed your back to take a break while still hearing the rocks hitting on your window, taking it like a background sound, but it made you feel frustrated.
as consequence of relaxing, the tears that pilled up in your eyes came out like just like you expected, without writing anything and not being concentrated in anything, it made the sound of the rocks grow louder.
standing up from the chair, making aside the thoughts of the person hitting your window was paige.
opening the curtains not being welcomed with the shining sun of the early morning, instead, it was the sight that gave you comfort, that dried your coldly salt tears with the breeze making your once warm pinkish cheeks sticky.
but this time it didn’t bring comfort.
it made your heart explode.
the view was so beautiful, the stars filling the darkness not leaving any blank space behind, the moon, today it was a third quarter.
you stared at her, trying not to show any emotion, just like she did when you tried to talk to her, it was like you switched roles, she had a agonizing stare it almost made you cry.
she looked up to you, opening her mouth to say something but nothing came out, she didn’t know what to say, the words kept getting stuck on the bottom of her throat.
your hands made their way to your wide open glass window, you needed to close the window, right now or you wouldn’t be responsible for your actions, but it was such an amazing view.
the sound of your windows crashing because of the sudden collision made your walls shake, the sound making you shut your eyes tightly, afraid that if you opened them again you would run into her arms, only opening them again once you closed your curtains.
written by coeur!! byeeee
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eggyrocks · 2 days
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ENCOUNTERS
00 prologue: dumped
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All Suna wants is a relaxing, post-show cigarette in the parking lot. But that girl’s fighting with her boyfriend again.
For as long as they’ve been a band, she’s been coming to their shows . And as long as she’s been coming to their shows, she’s been fighting with her boyfriend at them. The same boyfriend every time too, the gangly looking one with the constantly messed-up hair.
He flicks the end of his lighter, watching as she takes several steps back from him, laughing in indignation, throwing up her arms up in exasperation. The boyfriend’s just standing there, outside the driver’s seat of his idling car.
They always fight about stupid shit. The boyfriend’s controlling. She likes to do whatever she wants. He yells at her about lying about where she was going for the night. She yells back about him going through her phone. Honestly, Suna’s not even sure why the two of them are still together. It seems like they really, really fucking hate each other.
He can hear a bit of what she’s screaming now, something about not trusting her or respecting her individuality and him shooting back that she’s done nothing to earn his trust, and she has no personality outside of liking this stupid fucking band.
Suna inhales and crosses his arms over his chest. He’s not sure why he’s getting dragged into it.
Honestly, he figures he should probably count his losses with the cigarette and go back inside, let them have it out like they normally do alone, in the privacy of this empty venue parking lot. But his morbid curiosity gets the better of him, and he stays, watching aptly as they tear each other’s throats out.
And, oddly, he kinda feels compelled to stick around, to make sure she ends up okay. He doesn’t know anything about her really, and he hardly remembers her name half the time, but her unrelenting dedication to his band has kind of earned some loyalty in return.
Enough for him to stick outside and keep an eye on her while her boyfriend loses his mind.
Suna watches as he turns away from her, and flings open the backseat of his car. He watches as she yells out, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” and he watches as the boyfriend pulls out three, large, overflowing duffle bags and deposits them at her feet, despite her protests.
And then, he gets in his car and drives away.
His loyalty is being tested.
All Suna can think about as he approaches her is how badly he does not want to. But she’s collapsed now, sitting on top of her pile of duffle bags and sobbing, right there in the middle of the parking lot. Plus, if Kiyoko found out he left a crying girl alone in the parking lot, she’d probably skin him. So he drops his cigarette to the ground and snuffs it out with the heel of his shoe. “Hey,” he greets, because he doesn’t know what else to say.
She looks up, wet eyes wide and covered in smudged, black makeup. She inhales sharply. It could pass for a hiccup. “Oh, hey. Good show tonight,” she sniffles.
“Yeah, thank” Suna nods, looking at the ground beside her instead of directly at her. He feels strange standing above her like he is, so he kneels, weight on the balls of his feet. “Are, erm, are you okay?”
She blinks, and hiccups again. At least her crying’s slowed. “Um, no, not really. I just got dumped, and also, like evicted, I’m pretty sure.”
Suna looks at the bags underneath her. “This all your stuff?”
“Most of it, I think.”
“Okay,” Suna starts, trying to come up with anything useful or productive, “so, can you like, call a friend to stay at their place for now or something? I don’t think I wanna leave with you just like, here.”
Her eyes start to water again, and Suna immediately feels like he’s done something wrong. “No, not really. I mean, my old roommates got new places out of the city and I don’t know who they live with or even where and my other friends all live together in a two bedroom but there’s three of them and I couldn’t even stay in there if I tried because there’s no room, and I don’t like my mom and I guess I could ask this one friend but I know she won’t answer and I don’t know where I’m going to stay and I’m kind of-“
“Okay,” Suna cuts her off, dread already forming in his stomach. Because he cannot, in good conscience, leave a crying girl in the middle of a parking lot. He cannot let her just figure it out on her own. So he knows what’s coming next. He sighs and stands upright. Fuck, he better get some good karma for this. “Do you wanna stay at my place for the night?”
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taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @causenessus @kawaii-angelanne @thatonecroc @v1oletfury @lonesomedrive @nnnyxie @bakery-anon @cheriisae @chososcamgirl @honeyfewr @soulfullystarry @snail-squasher @angee444 @itsdragonius @lees-chaotic-brain @miiyas @atsumuenthusiast @iluv-ace @cupidsblonde @tetsuswhore @soobin1437 @starkyu @bakugouswh0r3 @wakashudou @softpia @phoenix-eclipses @angelichwv @rory-cakes @bbybibi @lllaw @kameyyy @sleepzyy @s1ckntw1st3d @savemebrazilhinata @whorefornoodles @keeboismine @angsty-microwave @cyberpsychedelic @v3nusplanetofluv @darkandstarrynight @lunasfics @miss-manupilative @t8tiana @bzzahbee @evening-latte @Rebirthbunny @rvm1ne
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liloinkoink · 3 days
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hey guys, someone just sent me a weird ass ask claiming my incredibly close friend cherri @cherrifire secretly hate me and is talking abt me behind my back. i was not the only person to get one of these identical slanderous asks. i’ve already blocked the anon but like. open letter to them, and for the benefit of anyone else who gets an ask like this….
1) anon, you’re genuinely fucking stupid
2) hysterical to send this when i was actively chatting w her, while we were in the process of fleshing out yet another renchanting au, something we have done all day every day for… gosh, how long has it been now? nearly two years? i would say that it was really bad timing to send this ask to me while i was actively chatting aus w her but there really isn’t any moment you could have sent this that i wouldn’t have been.
3) if you thought i wasn’t gonna call bullshit and snitch immediately you don’t know shit about me or cherri, which, granted, is evident by the ask in general, but you really are stupid
4) if a gc like this existed—which it does not, bc cherri is not like this and would not do this—i would be in it. this idiot doesn’t even know im cherri’s emotional support writer. do you have any idea how many gcs and servers she’s dragged me into w her.
5) get your facts right cherri talks shit about me to my face. this is mutual. fake ass fan. if you were a real cherri friend you would know this smh
6) no, actually, you’re right, she definitely hates me. that’s why i met her irl literally like 3 months ago on her invitation, we hung out for a genuine week, spent basically the whole time arm in arm or hand in hand. this is also why we were planning a second meetup last night. you idiot. you fool. you complete and utter moron
anyway, if anyone gets this ask:
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it’s complete bullshit. theyre sending this to cherri’s best friends for some godforsaken reason. it’s very weird and deeply cringe. also incredibly poorly planned. idk how many ppl you sent this to, but a few of us are in a gc and we have been making fun of this ask for like an hour (anon, im one of cherri’s friends and she’s been telling a small group of friends about you— lol. lmao even)
anyway like. to reiterate. cherri’s one of my best friends, she’s absolutely lovely and i’m lucky every day to know her. we hang out and chat constantly and we’ve met irl and it was an incredible experience i would love to repeat. i have told her things i have not fuckin told anyone else and you could not otherwise waterboard out of me. i love talking to her all the time and i miss her when she’s busy for even like, an hour. i love writing w her and creating things w her. she’s an incredibly bright spot in my life, often the first person i think of upon waking and the last i think of before i sleep. she is kind and funny and i love her a lot.
i’m a bitch tho so like @ this anon go fuck yourself. you better hope that when you die that the devil finds you before i do. sending this ask to a bunch of our friends, trying to turn the people she cares about against her, and for what? you clearly don’t know her well enough to be talking like this. trying to ruin my friend’s reputation and friendships w a vague as hell and entirely baseless copy paste is super fucking weird. why would you do this? and like, do you think we were born yesterday to fall for this? i’m insulted for her for whatever it was you were trying to pull and i’m insulted on behalf of myself and everyone else you sent this to that you think we’re as stupid as you are. what is your damage. get a hobby.
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i feel like some of the fandom is a bit harsh on Monty... like, trauma is definitely not an excuse, but it does give pretty much all of his actions an understandable explanation?
like... Monty was actively being abused by Esther in practically any scene they were together. he said something she didn't like, and she yelled and grabbed him threateningly. both of the times she transformed him, from crow to human and then back again, she literally stabbed and ripped him up in a really gory way.
i sure wonder why an evil witch's familiar who's constantly treated like that would follow her orders even if he disagreed with them!!
and considering that Esther is potentially one of the only humans Monty came into contact with before meeting the others, and she's like that - he turned out alright, didn't he? he's petty, a bit rude sometimes, and takes things personally, but generally, he's a shockingly decent person.
yes, he didn't take it well when Edwin rejected him. but, as others have pointed out - how was Monty genuinely meant to know any better? he had lived his whole life as a crow in a cage too small for him, where the only person he knew was his extremely nasty and cruel owner. and then, all of a sudden, he's forced into a new body and has humanity thrust upon him against his will. he explicitly expressed this discomfort himself when Esther degraded him for getting "too emotional" for her liking.
"i never asked to be human. with all these... feelings."
even after the bitterness of the rejection, Monty never actually wanted to hurt the Dead Boy Detectives. turns out, he didn't even know that Esther's plan intended to end them completely, and was so horrified upon finding out that he made an attempt to lead them to safety, which was, by the way, putting himself at massive risk. Esther already punished him likely under the assumption that he just didn't put enough effort into manipulating them - can you imagine what she'd have done to him if she knew about his last-minute attempt to actually save them?
of course, i don't think Edwin was wrong for not forgiving Monty. he deserved that. Monty still helped in the scheme that aimed to destroy him. he also fully deserved to reject Monty if he wanted to (conversely, i do also see people say that Edwin "could have handled it better," but honestly, i don't know if it's just me not being neurotypical or something, but i genuinely do not see how Edwin could have been nicer about it? he was straightforward and polite, then afterwards, still tried to be Monty's friend until the betrayal.)
however, Monty was still very much a victim himself, and any harm he did was not from his own will, instead motivated by fear of the terrifying witch who had him fully reliant upon her, often through both verbal and physical force. Esther never hesitated to hurt him. he was painfully aware of that. she didn't care about him beyond how useful he could be. and when he failed at that, her reaction was violent.
but he didn't have anyone else.
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sweetvamp03 · 3 days
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All I Want is You
Word Count: 1795
Sam Winchester x Female Reader - No Y/N - Mostly fluff - Implied Smut - Talk of death
Summary: With all that's been going on in your and Sam's lives as hunters, you have to confess your worries to him; hoping he shares your concerns.
As you lay beneath the cream comforter, you can feel an arm coming from behind, wrapping around your bare waist. You didn't have to open your eyes to know who it was. "Mm, morning Sam" you grinned as you became aware of his toned chest pressed to your back. He leaned down to whisper in your ear, "Goodmorning beautiful", he planted a kiss on your jaw and returned to his previous position, head on your pillow rather than his own; he always seemed to make it over to your side of the bed by the morning, you didn't mind sharing though.
Every morning felt better than the last, you were excited to wake up each day and see Sam Winchester laying next to you. It didn't matter how long you two had been together, there would always be butterflies in your stomach when your sleepy eyes met his. You moved your hand up to intertwine with his, he reciprocated with a tight squeeze. Even though you were happier than you had ever been before, there was still something that constantly popped into your mind, making the butterflies turn into crows, pecking at your flesh, trying to gnaw their way out. You hadn't brought it up to Sam, it seemed a shame to ruin perfect moments, but every moment with him was perfect. Letting out a small sigh, you started, "Hey Sam-".
"What's wrong baby?" he sat up, hands still joined, and leaned over to see your face. "Nothing" You replied, not wanting to worry him. "It's just- have you ever thought about the future? I mean our future, what it will look like." you began to probe him, to see if you shared any of the same worries.
"Yeah, well I mean I think about it all the time. Do you?" he curiously asked, his brows furrowing.
"I do, I just wanted to know what you see when you think about it."
"Oh, well, hm..." he trailed off trying to think of the words. "I see us here in Kansas, in a nice house with a big backyard. A cat and maybe a dog-" You intererupted his sentance with a light chuckle. He knew you weren't really a dog person, but he had been trying to convert you. He continued, "Or no dog, just a cat" a tiny smirk emerged unto his face. "We're married and maybe have a kid or two. I work a boring mundane job in town, and our house has a huge office that you can use to write in. And theres a porch-swing out front, and every night we sit out, you wrapped in my arms, as I read to you while we drink tea."
You rolled over to face the man who had just spilled his heart out to you. Gazing in his eyes, you wanted nothing more than that life he had imagined for the both of you. But you were scared that you may never get it. He could see the sadness overcome your features. "Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong? Did I say something? We don't need a dog, or kids for that matter." he rambled.
"No, no it's not that. It's just-" you trailed off, not wanting to ruin this beautiful moment. Sam cupped your face with his large hands, giving you the puppy dog eyes that would coax anyone out of their deepest darkest secret. You began to explain, "Sometimes I just get worried. Worried that we're never gonna have that. That- that- I'm not gonna have that." He cocked his head to the side giving you a puzzled look. "I just mean- I love you baby, you know how much I love you. But the people that you love don't tend to make it out of this unscathed. I'm not afraid of dying, really I'm not. I'm afraid of leaving you."
His confused expression changed to sadness as he started to reply, "Sweetheart, I swear I will never let anything happen to you. I promise. I would die for you, you know that."
"I know Sam, but I don't want you to. I don't want either of us to die. That's the problem. I don't want to leave you but I also don't want to lose you. But with everything Chuck has done, it feels like it's inevitable. And it's selfish- I want you with me, I don't want to die and have you go fall in love with another girl. That's our house and our dog- that we can get, because I know how much you want one baby- but it's awful, I should want the best for you, right? I just want to make it through this so badly Sam, but I'm scared." you blurted out your speech that you had been holding in for months.
Sam grabbed you up into his arms and buried your face in his chest, holding the back of your head so you were as close as could be. He clung onto you like he never wanted to let go, and part of you was hoping that he wouldn't. "I'm scared too. I know I don't show it but I am. All I want is you, and I'll do whatever I have to to make it happen."
You were trying so hard to keep it together, but his words made you unravel, a few tears escaping. He pet your hair to try and calm you. He held you like that for a few minutes before you decided to pull away, wanting to read his face. He looked sad but resigned. He planted a kiss on your forehead, and as he pulled away you could see a lightbulb go off over his head. Sitting up, he reached over to his nightstand drawer, "Now, I was planning a more romantic evening to do this, but I think now is good too." he picked out a little black velvet box and turned back to face you. Sitting up, you felt like this was all a dream and maybe you had never woken up at all. "Sam- What is that?" You were not sure if you were imagining things. "Baby, I know that it's been tough and that things haven't really gone our way lately, but I know for certain that this is one thing that we can do right. So, will you do me the honour of marrying me?" he couldn't help but smile as the words escaped his mouth.
"Yes!" you yelled as you wrapped your arms around his neck, squeezing him tighter than he had been before. Holding him in the hug, you felt nothing but the good butterflies fluttering around. "Uh do you want to see the ring first?" He laughed out. Pulling back, you rolled your eyes at him, "It could be a ring pop for all I care."
Grinning ear to ear, he took the ring out of the box and placed it on your finger. You looked at it admiringly, it was beautiful, you never wanted to take it off. "It antique, from the late 1800's, it belonged to one of the first few women doctors here in America. She actually became a doctor after she was married, and her husband supported her decision and was proud of her."
"It's gorgeous, and the story is beautiful. It's perfect Sam, you're perfect." You planted a kiss on his lips before returning your gaze to the ring. It was a stunning gold band, with a perfectly cut ruby surrounded by little shiny diamonds. Sam knew you so well, he knew you didn't like most of the jewelry they make nowadays, and prefered something with a history. You couldn't believe it. You were engaged to Sam Winchester. Looking back at him, a devious look painted your face. You moved around in the bed to straddle his lap. Hands pressed to his chiseled chest, you left kisses up and down his neck. His hands were running all throughout your hair, then down your back. Your lips moved up to meet his as you joined in slow passionate movements. Fidgeting with your bra clasp, he managed to remove it quicker than usual, while your hands were making their way down to slide his boxers off.
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Laying curled up around Sam, your head tucked under his chin, you took a peek at the alarm clock on his side of the room, realizing it was nearly 11am. "Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you in bed past 9!"
Sam scoffed. "Well I didn't sleep until 11, I still woke up early, I just- got distracted." he smiled at you, and you realized you had never seen him that happy before. "How's about we make some breakfast- or I guess brunch at this point?" you suggested.
"I'll go make us something, you can stay here." he offered. But you weren't having it, "Nuh-uh, I'm coming to help." you lept out of the bed and grabbed one of Sam's t-shirts out of the dresser, throwing it on and prancing out the door.
"Wait for me" you heard him call as you left the room. He caught up to you after he was dressed, grabbing your hand as you pulled him along to the main entry room of the bunker. There you were met with Dean, Cas, and Jack, sitting around the table. Dean and Cas were reading books, while Jack was fixated on Sam's Ipad, playing some game he found yesterday. You stopped in your tracks, making Sam nearly trample you. The three men looked up from their respective activities. "Hey guys" You couldn't help but grin like an idiot. "Someone looks happy" Dean pointed out.
"We have some news to tell you guys- we're engaged!" Sam blurted out, unable to contain his excitement. You threw your hand out to show the ring as proof of the event. All three boys jumped up and ran to give you both hugs and congratulations. Dean took a step back and formed another thought, "So that's what those happy noises were about, I just thought Sammy had learned to-" You cut Dean off with a playfull push on the shoulder and an eyeroll. "Enough Dean! And just so you know, Sammy does know how to-" This time Sam was cutting you off, "Whoah, Whoah, Whoah." He pulled you tight beside him, trying not to turn red.
"Wait- what does Sam know how to do?" Jack piped up. And all four of you adults suddenly remembered his real age. You tried to change the subject, "Oh nothing, we were just about to make some brunch, any takers?".
They all agreed enthusiastically, so you and Sam started towards the kitchen. "Come on, Fiance" you linger on the word, thinking of your future together that has already started.
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flora-wolfi3 · 9 months
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Thinking about the guilt survivors from even just one flicker round would feel. Not specifically survivors guilt, but more of "why didn't you know better/why didn't you do better" sort of guilt, even though the survivor of the round did all they could with the knowledge they had during the game.
I feel like this guilt would be prevalent with all of the good roles at least, but the worst for the roles that could have prevented deaths in some way (medic, psychic, spy) because they could feel partly responsible for the deaths.
As medic, why didn't you heal the right person? Why did you prioritise the wrong people even though you couldn't have known who would be the murderer's target each night?
As spy, why didn't you bug the right person? Why did you get it wrong and miss your chance to find the evils, even though it was a guessing game?
As psychic, why didn't you read the right person? Why did you let the evils stay in, even though you didn't know their identities and it was down to luck?
A version of the same guilt would be with all good survivors as mentioned above. The guilt in that scenario would be more like "why did you trust the evil team?" Even though the survivor could not have known that they were evil just outright, it wouldn't be like they told you their role.
And this sort of guilt would be ten times worse if evil ended up winning. Because the guilt would tell the survivor that they shouldn't have let them won, even though they could not do ANYTHING about it. Because they didn't know.
And they couldn't have known, because in the end, it was FULLY out of the survivors hands. The survivor could not have done more with everything they knew at that point.
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itsalwaysforyou · 8 months
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hold me together.
kenny ortega, descendants 2 / holly black, red glove / nicole homer, underbelly / ada limon, a new national anthem / k c cramm, christmas eve forever / kenny ortega, descendants 3 / the crane wives, curses / silas denver melvin, let dead dogs lie / natalie wee, least of all
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dylanlila · 2 days
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lila wants to alter the way her mind works and elena and enzo love her for that very thing. i never think about this.
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blujayonthewing · 1 month
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SUPREMELY frustrating that we found something actually really cool and intriguing and plot relevant in tonight's session but I'm still so constantly preoccupied with whether the DM is going to 100% kill us with sheer poor game design that I barely have enough brainspace left over to even enjoy it
#the first half of the session was a random-off-a-rolltable encounter that had nothing to do with anything and gave us literally nothing#and used up all our resources and took a REALLY long time because it was-- you guessed it! another deadly encounter for some reason!!#that's 100% of the encounters we've had so far!#and EXPLICITLY not related to what we were trying to investigate AND creatures that drop neither loot NOR BODIES#(two wil o the wisps and a water wierd)#we did a lot better in this encounter but it WAS deadly going off CR#and the point is now we've done just a short rest and THEN found the Plot Thing-- which our bard used up a bunch of resources to access#SO NOW IT'S LIKE. OKAY LOOK. I WANNA PLAY IN THIS SPACE BUT YOU KEEP TRYING TO KILL US WITH THINGS THAT AREN'T EVEN IMPORTANT#ARE YOU ABOUT TO WHOOPSIE-DOODLE US INTO A TPK ON ACCIDENT HERE???#like... it FEELS dangerous and A Bad Idea to engage with in a way that paradoxically SHOULD mean it's safer in a game like this#like-- okay if this was ACTUALLY as dangerous as it feels we wouldn't BE here on session six. does that make sense?#like when justin had us encounter a lich at level two in session three and I was immediately like OH okay he must have a plan here.#clearly some Scripted Plot is going to happen because there's no other reason he would put us up against a lich three sessions in. you know?#we started dying immediately and I was not afraid at all as a player because I trust justin wouldn't do that for no reason#or be so stupid to have that happen accidentally#THIS CAMPAIGN HOWEVER.... I DON'T TRUST LIKE THAT!!!#ARE WE GONNA FOR REAL PERMADIE BECAUSE YOU WASTED ALL OF OUR RESOURCES ON A RANDOM ENCOUNTER FIRST AND YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT#ARE WE GONNA FOR REAL PERMADIE BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T REALIZE WE COULD USE THE ITEM YOU GAVE US TO OPEN THIS DOOR WITH A 5TH LEVEL SPELL#I WANNA PLAY IN THE SPACE BUT IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE THERE'S ROOM FOR RISKTAKING WHERE THE BAD OUTCOMES WOULDN'T BE UNFUN CATASTROPHIC#AAAAUUUUGHHH#[shaking him violently] what do you mean that random encounter was a deadly encounter again what do you MEEEAAN#'oh huh this fight's taking longer than I thought' THEIR AC IS 19 AND THEY'RE RESISTANT TO NONMAGIC DAMAGE??#THE WATER WIERD KEEPS DISAPPEARING BACK INTO THE POND WHERE IT'S INVISIBLE??? MY BROTHER IN CHRIST HOW DID YOU EXPECT US TO DO IT FAST#hhhhhHHHH!!!!#I SHOULD BE THINKING AND TALKING ABOUT HOW COOL THE SECOND HALF OF THE SESSION GENUINELY WAS BUT I'M TOO STRESSED TO HAVE FUN#cannot stress enough that I'm in a million campaigns and I never have this problem with other DMs or with Highly Dangerous DnD Situations#melliwyk's party are in mortal peril constantly and it's... reaching a point where it's tiresome for how badly it's wearing on the PCs#but it rarely feels unfun stressful as a player playing a game#I never feel like the DM is about to accidentally end the whole campaign by bumblefucking us into a TPK at random#you know? it's different. this just feels unmanageable
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gregmarriage · 3 months
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this was meant to be a funny post, but then it got deep imao
not a relationship person, but i believe in their beliefs
#me when i lie#it always comes round to june and i’m always single and it’s quite honestly homophobic#imaooooo nah it’s not that deep i’m just coming on my period hehe x#literally keep saying the same thing about relationships#like i shouldn’t get into one just because i’m lonely#and rush things and completely blow up my life on impulse#but i don’t know any other way#need to learn to take it slow and *actually* take it slow#because the last time i “took it slow’’ it all went wrong#basically i want a relationship at some point but when all your relationships are the same#it really gets to you#and i keep thinking about (redacted) and how much i fucked it all up#but also like would we really have worked out?#if i’d actually believed everything she said would we be okay?#do i not have a life? or am i not allowing myself to have a life?#bc literally i think i’ve gotten so used to being on the floor that i’ve forgotten how to get up#and like if i really tried i could actually get what i want#and i know that sounds obvious but like bear with me#i’ve basically shoved myself into a deep dark hole and covered myself up with dirt and then forgotten i can dig myself out#i *can* be with someone seriously#like yeah it’s uncomfortable and scary and it means facing up to certain things that make my stomach hurt but i will never have a life if i#don’t do these things#i can’t allow myself to basically get pushed back into the closet#i can’t allow myself to be infantilised and treated like shit all the time#like even if i’m surviving purely via spite for a while it’s better than the alternative#instead of constantly talking about the same thing and how nothing ever changes i should actually change it#again obvious but i’m usually miles behind bc my brain… isn’t great is probably the kindest way i could put that#and that’s okay. like it’s hard but it’s okay#even if i’m living out my teenage years and doing the things i’d wished i’d done then at 25+ that’s fine#there’s a whole fucking world outside my bedroom door so maybe i should go actually see it?
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thekimspoblog · 4 months
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Demon trying to feed on my insecurities: "You're a bad driver"
Me: "Of course I am. I hate driving. Going 80 mph surrounded by tons of metal is nerve-wrecking. I try to do it as little as possible. Of course I'm bad at it"
Demon: "You're a bad writer"
Me: "Well that part's simply not true. I never claimed I was the greatest author of my generation, but when I put pen to paper I know what I want to communicate and I usually do it well. If someone isn't impressed with my work, that's unfortunate but they're entitled to their opinion"
Demon: "You're a bad leader"
Me: "Well I don't know about that! I mean there was that one time when... Ok look just because people don't see me as an authority figure doesn't mean... 😠 You know you can be a real asshole, demon!"
#joking aside the reason I suck at helping people is probably not dissimilar from why I'm bad at driving#the joke is “having good ideas which would work if people let you boss them around” and#“having enough charisma to persuade people to let you boss them around” are two different skills and I don't have nearly enough patience#for the latter#but no really it makes me deeply insecure seeing sycophants rally around the most transparently incompetent and self-interested POS people#and meanwhile I'm getting called shrill and presumptuous for pointing out that the left-wing is poorly organized and I could do it better#can we agree it's at least a little bit because I have aspergers and no penis?#like I realize what I'm doing is the political equivalent of “but I'm such a nice guy!” and I'm literally complaining that no one#respects ma authoritah#but just saying: maybe I wouldn't come off as such a petulant misanthrope#if I wasn't constantly being asked to fix problems that could have been avoided if everyone listened to me in the first place#“nobody likes an i-told-you-so” yeah that's why democracies keep falling to fascism cus you want someone pleasant over someone correct#at the same time sooner or later you have to look in the mirror#and I can count the group projects I've successfully headed on one hand; maybe it's me#if it was just that people don't listen to me than yeah this would just mean I have an ego#but there are plenty of women the left could be rallying around and it doesn't because of minor scandals and anarchist ideals#it's stupid and I'm becoming a tankie just because i'm sick of the idea#that political goals can be accomplished without a clear chain of commmand#i don't need to be the leader but WE NEED A LEADER#the hatian revolution succeeded because Toussaint Louverture organized random slave rioting into an actual army#and I just wish I had that kind of magic myself but I might already be too bitter#ftr this isn't in response to anything that happened recently I'm just still mad thinking about an anarchist group I tried to join#on facebook five years ago where I asked point blank what the marching orders were and got blocked for being “obviously a cop”#and the mod comes at me with “anarchists don't have leaders IDIOT”#yeah well you're the guys always saying you only oppose UNJUST hierarchies idiot!#excuse me for thinking you guys had a plan beyond perpetual infighting#not everyone asking blunt questions about the anarchist platform are feds you guys are just paranoid and ableist#and when you block people for asking what game plan is it really sounds like you just plain don't have one (which is depressing)#I don't care how many books there are about how anarchism is more than just “wanting a free-for-all”#if you attack anyone who tries to impose a hierarchy just to get shit done it really seems like that first impression of
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hella1975 · 1 year
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yes im trying not to be so mean yes im working on my temper but under no section of my Healing Contract does it mention that these things must apply to my sister. in fact if you read the fine print it says im actively allowed to make her miserable. for my mental health
#she's so mean all the time like constantly telling me im stupid and shit#which probably didn't hit as hard before this econ degree but now every time she does it im just kinda like :/#and i laugh it off obvs bc am i fuck about to look put out by it#so she genuinely doesnt have any reason to stop bc ive not set any boundaries or communicated or yk. done anything correctly#i instead just let it frustrate the fuck out of me until one day im in a bad enough mood that i'll give as bad as she does#which i HATE bc as tough shit as she thinks she is i always think being mean - specifically the primary school way she does it -#is SO embarassing as a conflict method like girl 'you're stupid' is really the best you can come up with? bffr 😭#like when i say IM mean and SHE'S mean im talking about very different things#im mean less often than her but when i do it it's effective bc i literally catalogue people's insecurities and use them against them#like some fucking anime villian like it's actually uncomfortable to watch and i hate myself every time#whereas her way is effective bc it's all dumb comments ANYONE could make but she says them repeatedly until she wears you down#and of the two methods they're both shit but at least my way isn't cringe LMAO#so if i ever get so frustrated i revert to her method i just get v annoyed with myself like IM better than this she might not be but i am#and we've just been moving things in the garden with mum which is a flashpoint anyway#and me and my sister were just GOING at each other and it was all jokes until i said something she didn't like#and she was like 'what's your problem? it's fine when we're joking but you always take it too far' girl.#like i cannot accurately explain on here how ridiculous that statement is coming from HER#and if id said something actually horrible id get it but the convo was literally just#her: mum can i wear your watch for the chem ball coming up?#me: why do you need a watch for that?#her: ive got a dumb tan line on my wrist that i want to cover#me: i really dont think anyone is going to be looking at your wrists#THAT WAS IT LMFAO??? YOU HYPOCRITICAL LITTLE BITCH#ironically i had a field day with it like her saying that was the worst thing she could have done#latched onto it like a bloodhound fr my eyes must have lit up#i was like 'dont be such a baby' which is basically a fucking trigger word in our house#thought she was gonna hit me with a spade <3 peace and love on planet earth#godddddd i cant wait for her to go back to uni i HATE sharing a room i cannot escape her she's literally here as i type#i hope she knows im slagging her off to my niche online micro-community#hella goes home
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kneworder · 13 days
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i have all these draft documents of half finished fics full of lines i love but that are so fundamentally flawed i can't figure out how to finish them and can't kill my darlings mercilessly enough to get past the roadblocks so i just reread them over and over and think damn this is kinda fire. wish it was anywhere near shareable.
#UGHHHHH 10k allydia fic full of dead end plotlines that lives in my google drive you will always be famous to me and me alone#allison is resurrected and i have this short bit about the five stages of grief vs the five stages of decomposition but idk if i can keep i#bc it works better if allison was dead longer. but i LIKE those lines............#i have like the barest of bones for like 6 different parts of the tw hunger games au fics......#scott one is at 4500k but i decided a while ago i need to change one of the main plot points and it's killing me bc that's like 90% of it#but i like the writing and it's like three scenes from completion!! but i can't bring myself to be happy with where i brought the plot 😔#SICK AND TWISTED!!!!!!!!!!#the tua fic that is my white whale..... reverse robins plot points plan and like four different false start documents......#the robins ghost au i never figured out a plot for....... the tommy dies instead of barb au........ THE JASON CARVER TIMELOOP STORY.......#i really like the opening i wrote for the jason time loop but that's all i wrote bc i realized i'd have to figure out a plot and rewatch s4#and like. :/ idk if i'm willing to do all that. for jason carver?? well.#i have this criminal minds fic where reid gets the flu bc he refuses to get vaccinated bc he's terrified of needles after georgia#and jj shows up to check on him bc she's also dealing w the georgia anniversary so she's desperate for proof of life#and it's like 80% done but i stopped super caring about cm a few years ago and now every time i remember it i'm like :/#i could spruce that up and post it if i really wanted to! it's not bad at all! but will i ever do that.........#OH MY GOD the like 4k i wrote from the POV of this girl stalking reid?? like i wanted to do a casefic from the unsub's perspective#i forgot about that one i was really invested in it for a while actually did a lot of research and really tried to make her sympathetic#shoutout to the random extra from that episode w jason alexander who i decided was gonna be Gwen The Stalker <3#throwback to my criminal minds era that was wild#anyways truly it is the allydia one the twthg xovers the reverse robins and the tua longfic that haunt me constantly#i always cycle between thinking about one of them on and off
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chemicalbrew · 10 months
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achievement get (for the billionth time): take one look at an assignment and get severely overwhelmed AND discouraged for the rest of the day and do nothing
#it's so much and it's dishonest work!! literally dishonest because all i can think of is how bullshit a lot of it sounds. instead of#you know?#actually learning anything?#but this thorough lack of motivation is just gonna get me in trouble isnt it. how do i swallow my emotions and figure things out#its getting harder every year and the feeling that the few people i have close by do not ever truly understand - like at all - is horrifyin#yes sorry this is all i could think of for the past six hours. im having a great day (no im not. i also hate myself for feeling this way)#zero.txt#im sure it hurts the few people who care and who thought i'd actually go on to do things to see me constantly wallowing for reasons#that they refuse to comprehend or have compassion for.#just stop being sad! just get to work piece by piece! have some resilience#meanwhile all ive done is cry. maybe a part of me just likes feeling like this i DONT KNOW#and ofc so often im like. the only reason im still around is im quiet and they havent invented thought police#yet.#how can i have hope when the moment i decide to pluck a silver of it out of my core i read something that in a better world would not even-#-be a nightmare#like. you say things like that with your mouth and expect us to mindlessly repeat if we want anything in life...#fuck my stupid baka life <3#ugh im just going in yet another circle now when i know trying to put my feelings in words is not helpful. what IS helpful#negative#again sorry. at least you dont have to open this wall of tags#delete later#maybe
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wesawbears · 6 months
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