#like bro have you read Wikipedia

[superbluebirdgirl]

Okay I wish Trobed was canon too, but at the same time...if you're watching a show from 2009 - 2009 mind you - and you're surprised that the gay ship didn't become canon, like that actually upsets you...I don't even know what to say.

[hero-in-high-tops]

Is it really so hard to make an interesting life-to-death book about Josephine Baker. She's gotta be one of the coolest women in history and lived such a crazy life but every book about her is so boring and the most recommended one is written like a spy novel that focuses on two people I couldn't give less of a fuck about and she's only sporadically mentioned

[crmsndragonwngss]

Thinking about that guy on fb who tried to tell me Sleep Token isn’t a prog metal band because they mix other genres into their music, oh and also he mostly listens to prog and they just don’t sound prog, trust me bro, so I looked at the last.fm he has linked on his page and he listens to two prog metal bands and then like fuckin Volbeat and Disturbed?????

[charmedreincarnation]

Ya bitch got into the void state

Champagne anon here and your mf girlll got in the mf void state and manifested her dream life. This happened a week ago, and I’ve been chilling but I do wanna share my story to help others. Gotta give Thanks to Maya, and so many other bloggers and even anon. Y’all hoes will forever be in my heart, and I’m forever grateful 🥹 also Maya girl you told me when I succeed to get into detail and I got nothing to do for the next two hours so imaaa just share it all here in detail.

I also wanna especially thank all the black creators on tumblr!! I didn’t know there were so many of us using the law. It always seems the world is so against us, and there’s nothing we can do abt it but nahhhh!! we can all live our best melanated lives regardless. Periodt, as we should it’s about goddamned time after everything we’ve been though 😂

Anyways!!!! after reading this: https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/717864613626134528/im-your-bubble-anon-but-i-made-this-burner-to success story yesterday I got hella motivated. I read that shit and I thought I posted it on accident because it was everything I had been through, and had been thinking anyways. That anon ate your tumblr habits btw. If y’all haven’t seen my good sis’s sucess post go check that shut out rn, On god it will help.

At the end that anon (my mf dawg 🙏) included that they manifested for everyone. Now ion know if that shit actually work tbh. I’ve seen people say you can and can’t, but tbh the vibes were too high for me to doubt. I was like ight, okay fuck it, ima leave my dream life. Whether it me, that anon, or the devil himself ion give a fuck.

So that’s whatssss a bitch did!!! I just affirmed all day it was very fulfilling. People who hate on affirming are mad corny. I can’t lie that shit works hella fast even if you don’t believe it. Idk if that anon’s void manifesting helped or what but I didn’t do much and after 3 months of trying I entered the damn void state. I’m mad I thought I had to be on some ghandi shit to do this (no hate to him hes da man) but you rlly don’t y’all. BUT LEMME TALK MY SHIT ALL YOU NEED IS AFFIRMING AND PERSISTENCE.

Anyways I went go bed excited asl!! I wrote my script that was like 10 pages long I can’t lie I did the most… but it’s whateva. I woke up in the void state after waking up at 4 am or sum, and i was like oh shityyyt lemme manifest rq and skrttt out this hoe. So that’s what a mf did 😂😂

Anyways the part y’all’s is waiting for. This is what ya girl manifested

Desired face and body. I was in shock how all the details came to life. Y’all im a solid 100/10 it’s giving natural bbl and Aliyah. I swear to gahhh everywhere I go people be trying to peep. I’m not used to being treated like a fucking celeb everywhere I go, whole time it’s just my fat gyattttt

Being the hottest 16 yr old IT GIRL at my school, and having lucky girl syndrome. People call me a mini jayda wayda, but tbh I’m better than her now. No hoe is ever gonna cheat on meee like they did her…bye. She’s still gorgeous as fuck tho

Perfect school life. Your girl is set to be the Valedictorian when I graduate (my school has 4!) I’m also sophomore year President, captain of the basketball team, apart of some volunteer programs through my school, and so much more. My resume and college application is abt to be so fuckin fire in 2 years. As I should Columbia is a competitive ass school 😤�� that aside everyone always tryna link, I got 3 guys fighting over me (whole damn love square), so many people tryna be my friends, teachers love me, and I excel in everything I do.

My Family being rich assss fuck. My dad got a Wikipedia now and his net worth is 22 million dollars. He owns a hedge fund company now, we love a man in finance 😍😍 AS HE FUCKING SHOULD. He got a material gurlll daughter. Two in fact now.

Fire ass crib. Bro it’s a 9 million dollar penthouse, perfect for ragers. I woke up here and my room is decorated to my personality, pintrest clothes all in my closet, I got an exotic pitbull and frenchie, and the house is just mad clean and fire, I’m obsessed with it. Rarely ever wanna leave now.

My mom not being strict. That bald headed ass hoe use to be mad annoying. Y’all know how Haitians are. Mad annoying as fuck and strict for no reason. Now I go out everyday and come home at midnight and no one gives a fuck. Everyone minds their own business as they should.

Having an older brother and younger sister. I was an only child, because I was a miracle baby bc my mom was infertile. Now she got 3 of us, so she can stop being only in my buisness. I’m just playin I love my mom regardless she’s just hella clingy. Anyways my brother is mad protective but also be wrestling mad aggressive for no damn reason. He gave me a bruise but it’s whateva Ima get my lick back. I also always wanted to be an older sister, bc I’d love to be a role model! My sister is 10 and adores me soo much it’s so adorable 🥹 lmfaooo, she’s mad spoiled by me and my mom but it is what it is.

Successful lip gloss business and being a successful drop shipper. Now you didn’t think a sista wasn’t gonna give herself a career just because I’m young right 🤨🤨 we’ll ya wrong. Ya girl is making 200k-400k a year. I barely even use my money cause I got an allowance from my parents… but still, financial literacy and wealth is so important to me especially as a black woman.

A pookie bae. Y’all know I wasn’t gonna deal with finding a loyal cute and funny guy in nyc. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack. Anyways I got me a fine ass boo. I just wrote down all the features I wanted in him like for exampleS finically secure so he can spoil me, handsome as fuck, tall, funny asl, kind, little clingy, deep raspy voice, nice hand, good hygiene and style,yanno yanooo !!! Plus some other shit and whewww the void did me so good. Nowww my boo bear is a lil cracker and I’ve never dated a white boy befuh but my am I surprised. I wake up everyday with some long ass appreciation texts and plans already made ! Y’all know I love me a dominant man who knows what he wants. He’s got some nice ass clothes, nice car and crib, made me a passenger princess and spoils me way too much. He doesn’t complain abt my mood swings and simps in the best way possible. Not to mention he’s fine afkkk he’s giving vinnie hacker. He’s also 6’1 and I’m 5’1 so that height difference is soooo hot I can’t lie I feel so so safe with him 🫣 I could go on all day but in short he’s more than perfect

+ so much more but this is what shocked me the most. Anyways I’ve been living like this for the past week and it just feel so natural. I keep forgetting I got into the void but whateva I’m the only who knows anyways. Anyways live yo best life and neva give upppp. I gotta go but I’ll probably eventually make a blog. My names angela so look out for it. I’m just mad lazy soo idk tho !!!

Angela out 🫡✌️

Girl this was so fun to read, I’m just as excited for you lmfao. I love seeing black women win, and thank you for sharing your methods! Enjoy your best life and come back if it resonates with your life bae !!!

[gaykarstaagforever]

...Why is today the first time I'm hearing about Galehaut, the half-giant warrior from French Arthuriana who was so gay for Lancelot that he stopped being a bad guy just to date him, then died specifically at 39 of a broken heart when Lancelot chose Guinevere over him?

And after Lancelot died they buried him and Galehaut side-by-side like a married couple.

I never read the medieval Prose Lancelot because I figured by this point I had heard of all the wacky adventures that were in it; but ODDLY ENOUGH, no one seems to talk about Lancelot's giant boyfriend.

"THEY WERE JUST DUDES BEING BROS! IT WASN'T GAY!"

Oh fuck you. Galehaut stops his army from winning a certain victory over Arthur's in exchange for getting to spend "one night alone" with Lancelot.

Plus, what straight man would have this coat-of-arms?

[cabinseventheaterchick]

BLOG NEWS: Check back later!

I now run a Riordanverse roleplay Tumblr Community! Everyone is welcome!

Kat if she had a Wikipedia page (her lore summarized)

Portrait done by the incredibly talented @apollos-coolest-child

Oh, hi! Didn’t see you see there. I’m Kat Carter!

Okay, lemme think… I’m fifteen, daughter of Apollo currently at Camp Half-Blood with my homies <3

When I’m not at camp, NYC is my home base. You can probably find me in Apollo cabin: practicing monologues/songs, playing matchmaker (it’s not just for Aphrodite kids!), or staging a kitchen coup d’état so I can bake something delicious.

he gets his own category:

@ellis--wakefield — my boyfriend <333

he’s really cute and he’s great at capture the flag and he’s nice to the newbies and damn he’s just idk how to even describe him ‘cause words cannot

Former… um… let’s just say people I used to know:

@lukemessedup — Good boss, bad business

@lieutenant-of-kronos — I regret letting him convince me to join up but he’s a nice guy.

@alabaster-c-t — Yep. You read that right. Bro is apparently not dead, nor has ever been.

@the-song-of-the-moon — We’re starting an ex-Titan Army therapy group together :3

Uncle Kronos (links to the Wayback Machine of the first version) — Literally cannot believe I wrote this. Uncle Kronos was a good person. I think I’ll always miss him, but I’m glad he found peace. Here’s to you, Uncle K.

@existence-is-pain-ahhhhhhhh — need I say more? He’s awesome. Case closed.

@the-better-castellan — new addition to the List Of People Who Aren’t Dead After All! They’re cool trust me

@peyton-is-cool — I missed him loads. Thank the gods he’s safe—he’s been in Texas? I guess?

Totally irresponsible pseudo-father to half of CHB (he does actually care about campers but he’s got a reputation to uphold):

@dionysus-god-of-all-things-wine

My fellow campers, love y’all:

@thanatoss-favorite-demigod — best murder road trip buddy a gal could ask for

@thehadescabincounsler — I’ve adopted them into Apollo cabin. They’re now officially an honorary child of the Sun Dude.

@thatonebitheaterkid — my sibling. too many pets (affectionate)

@that-dam-daughter-of-poseidon — my absolute bestie <3

@poseidons-favourite-daughter — training together ⚔️! She’s so sweet and a year rounder so I won’t be alone come fall

@yes-im-a-daughter-of-hades — she just got back from Tartarus, so you know what that means!… binge watching everything pop culture. Phineas and Ferb say what?

@lady-ariadne-of-milan — my coolest big sister. Be nice, she’s been trapped as a flower since, like, the Renaissance.

@bill-son-of-boreas — Ayyy! My Norwegian bestie!

@internal-bloodshed — I’m like ninety percent sure he wants me dead. If I step a toe out of line and hurt Ellis, my body will apparently never be found.

@the-better-stoll-brother — If anyone messes with him one more time I’m throwing hands.

Shoot me an ask, camp can get kinda boring!

(Psst. My general tag is #kat carter on the case, and my lore tag is #from the archives of kat carter)

(Extra psst. Do you want more Kat Carter content without actually having to roleplay? Send me an ask by picking something from my tag #ask game!)

[whywhaatt]

"hey i'm bored" (isaacwhy x reader)

-

word count: 2.028

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, hand kink(kinda), degrading, light choking

a/n: this is my first fic😜 i didnt proof read it yet so hopefully i didn't misspell anything too badly

-

10 hours. 10 hours of sitting at this desk and playing on my computer. I've gone through almost every app or game that I have downloaded. I've checked every social media, watched the newest uploads of my friends, and I even read a random wikipedia article. It's around 2am now. I need to go to sleep. After turning off my computer, and taking my headset off and hanging it on the monitor, I walk towards my bed and grab my phone from my nightstand.

1:59 AM... god damn. I gotta fix my sleep schedule. Nahhh I know I won't. The lack of sleep is kicking in, it feels like 5 minutes go by of me just staring at my lock screen. Turns out it was just 30 seconds cus my phone automatically turned off. It takes me a minute to realize it, but the only reason I do is cus a notification pops up.

"wassup" - isaac💀

tf... it's 2am?!? Why is he texting me?

~

isaac: wassup

me: heyy

isaac: sorry it's late. im bored

me: bro i just laid down💀💀

isaac: can i come over? larry and tanner and annoying tf outa me rn

me: telling them you said that🗣️🗣️

isaac: bro pls. ion know if it's cus im tired but y'know how it is. i just need to get out of the house

me: yeah ion care, just let me know when you're here

isaac: bet

~

That was random, I guess Isaac's coming over now. He's been over before, but not like this. What if something happens? I'm probably just over thinking this. Am I shaved? Yeah, I'll be fine.

~

isaac: i'm here😜

isaac: weird emoji sorry

~

"Thanks for letting me come over, I needed to get out of the house" Isaac said, sitting down on my couch.

"Honestly, if I with all of those people I would have to leave all the time. So glad I live alone".

"Yeah well, I love them. It would be weird being away from them after this long of dealing with their shit." Isaac said, "So, what are we going to do"? I didn't think about that. I kinda just panicked for 10 minutes while he was driving here.

"I don't know, we could watch a movie or something?" I ask while tossing him the remote, "Move over, this isn't your apartment. I wanna sit". I sat down not too far away, but Isaac scutched closer and wrapped his free arm around me. His other hand had the remote in it, just scrolling through shit on Hulu.

"YO YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING CHAINSAW MAN"

"GOD ISAAC I HAVE NEIGHBORS"

"Oh shit sorry, I love Chainsaw Man. Have you seen me wearing that mask. I look so good in it man, look here I'll show you-". I had to cut him off.

"Isaac, I've seen the photo like 20 times. As much as I love how you look in it, I'm not looking at it again."

"Shut up and look at it" He holds my chin, forcing me to look at the picture on his phone. Damn. He is hot. I'm speechless. The fact his hand can easily grab my face like this, I wonder what else they can do. Looking up at him, my cheeks start to get hot a little bit. This eye contact is painful. I need this to go to more. My hand goes to the back of his neck, our faces slowly inching towards eachother. There's a pause, almost like we realized what is happening.

I close the distance. Just a light kiss, short and simple, but we both need more. Immediately, Isaac's hand pulls me in.

"God.. I-I need... you" I moan in between kisses. Isaac pulls back, and I whine at the loss of contact.

"What?"

"I can't tell if I'm just tired, but I need you so badly. Please Isaac." I am begging. BEGGING. For this man.

"You're so pathetic." He says right before kissing me again, this time more passionately, and his hand moving towards my neck. He squeezes softly, making sure it wasn't too much for me. I'm a moaning mess.

"Do you want to move to your bed?" Isaac questions before picking me up bridal style and carrying me towards my bedroom. My arms are wrapped around his neck while I'm looking up at him. I'm just looking at his eyes, he's so beautiful. He sets me down by the foot of me bed, so I'm standing with my arms around his neck. I always knew he was taller than me, but the height different is crazy. He looks twice my height, and he's still bending over to kiss me.

"Baby, go lay down. I'll take care of you". I almost moaned when I heard that. The things I would let this man do to me is insane, ever since I've met him the list has been getting longer and longer.

I'm laying down my bed, when suddenly my feet are pulled and my legs are dangling off the side. Isaac takes his sweet time pulling down my Nike shorts, teasing me slightly over my panties. I need him to hurry up and get straight to the point cus this is unbearable. Again, he slowly takes off my panties and just barely touches my pussy. The tiniest bit of contact makes me shiver and whine for more.

And like that, Isaac's eyes look up at me as he starts eating me out. He keeps looking and studying my every reaction until he gets the one he wants out of me. Remember when I asked what his hands could do? Well, I found out. As his tongue is focused on my clit, he slowly puts two fingers into my hole. I have to cover my mouth with my hand so I don't scream.

With his fingers thrusting in and out of me and his tongue working wonders on my clit, I know I won't last long like this. My eyes are stuck shut, with one hand over my mouth and the other holding his hair back. My thighs are practically crushing Isaac's head at this point.

"Isaac, I cant" I'm panting in between moans, "I'm so close". As I finish my sentence, everything stops. I whine and whimper, needing more stimulation.

Isaac moves from below my torso to standing at the foot of my bed. He slips his shirt over his head, leans down and puts me back into the spot I was before. Then continues to undress himself right before me. His body is gorgeous. I cant stop staring at him as he gets on top of me, kissing me softly. I can taste myself on his lips.

He breaks the kiss and slides my shirt over my head, exposing my chest. The cold air hit me all of a sudden, making me shiver for a little bit. It feels weird to be fully exposed to Isaac. The closest we've ever gotten to this is almost kissing on New Year's, but we both realized we've just had a little too much to drink and we backed off. I guess Isaac notices me thinking, cus he stops everything and looks down at me.

"Babe, you okay? You can tell me to stop at anytime, I want you to be comfortable" he says, it was the most serious he's sounded all night (well I guess morning). "We can stop if you'd like, I'm sorry I rushed all of this-"

"No keep going, I just got lost in my thought. Thank you for caring for me, Isaac." I pause my sentence to kiss his lips softly, "I'm having a good time". Isaac nodded and continued kissing my neck, leaving little marks every now and again. His hand creeped up, massaging my left breast, and his mouth making his way towards my right. When his tongue made contact with my nipple, I let out a slight moan and let my eyes close softly. My brain feels fuzzy, probably from the lack of sleep, but I love it. It feels like I'm high, but in the cringy "high on life" way.

"I have a condom in my nightstand" I blurt out, "but I'm on the pill so if you don't have anything you can go without it". His head perks up from my chest, looking almost as excited as a kid in a candy store.

"Really?" he asks excitedly. Yup, exactly like a kid. I nod my head yes and Isaac immediately moves to get himself into position. He lines himself up, looking up at me in my eyes, and slowly inserts himself into me. Both of our mouths fly open, releasing a string of moans and whines. Isaac was bigger than I expected, but he feels so good inside of me.

After a couple of second of staying still so I can get used to his size, Isaac starts to move. My hands move to hold on to Isaac's shoulders as he slowly moves in and out of me. I push his head down to kiss me to try and muffle my moans, but it barely does anything.

"Faster, please, please go faster" I beg, with our faces so close we're practically sharing breathes. His pace speeds up and my head relaxes back into the pillow. I can feel myself getting closer and closer by the second.

The room is filled with random moans or praises from either one of us, not being able to hear anything else. If Isaac didn't wake my neighbors earlier, then they're definitely awake now. Honestly, I could care less if I get a noise complaint.

"Isaac- Oh my- I'm- I'm getting close" I moan out between breathes. His hand moves from behind me to my neck, lightly choking me. My mouth flies open from the new pressure on my neck. Isaac, seeing the opportunity, takes over my mouth. Inserting his tongue and immediately dominates my mouth. I'm being so loud right now, and I don't care.

"Isaac, I'm about to- I'm 'bout to cum. Please Isaac. Oh my god please." I gasp out with the air I have.

"Do it. Cum for me, baby. You're so amazing" Isaac moans into my ear, loosening his grip on my neck a little. My nails digging so far into his back, they could leave scars. My head flies back, eyes rolling to the back of my head, and toes curl. A wave of pleasure rolls over my body as I cum with Isaac still going inside of me.

"Just a little bit more, baby, hold on for me. Please baby, you're doing so good for me." Isaac lets out as his hand lets go to steady himself on the bed, getting the pace back to how he needs it. While overstimulated, I try my best to hold tight for Isaac.

He's close. I can tell. Not too much longer, Isaac comes inside of me. All of his body weight crushed on top of me, feeling like a weighted blanket. A wave of praises came out of Isaac as he caught his breathe.

"Let's get you cleaned up"

-

After we took a very, very long and slow shower together, we laid down in bed together just cuddling.

"The house is asking where I'm at, Imma tell them I'm staying here for the night if thats okay with you" Isaac asks.

"Yeah, it's perfectly fine." I reply, "Random question, well two actually."

"Hit me."

"Okay so one: did you mean for this to end up like this? And was this technically a booty call or whatever?"

"Okay, first off I'm not liked that. But I realize it looks like it. Nah, I just wanted to hang out with you. It was just one of those late night and I'm bored situations"

"Okay, great, umm and two: what does this make us now?"

"Wow, umm.. hard question. I don't know. What do you want to be?"

"Maybe more than friends, I really like you Isaac." I confess, just staring into his eyes through the dark. He leans in and kisses me.

"Will you be with me?"

a/n: i hope you liked this:P my requests are currently open so make sure to leave some if you have any!!

[bottlehawk]

i talk a lot about how dave's relationship with his bro probably fucked him up in a lot of ways and rose probably did with dave too. but also what about the reversal afterwards when dave with his newly found awareness of Bad Parent Relationship Things points out weird ideas rose has developed because of her relationship with her mom that she doesn't realize are weird.

dave: so you dont have any issues with your mom? she was just a completely chill parent?

rose: No. I've come to grow and realize that she truly did care for me and was trying to reach out to me, instead of passive-aggressively taunting and belittling me as I had previously thought in my childhood. It was my fault for not seeing the truth, yes, but now that I know better, I-

dave: oh uh i wasnt really talking about that. whatever thats about. i was talking about the fact that she was like. drunk all the time

rose: Yes, but you do understand she had a lot on her mind back then? As time has passed, I myself am able to just start comprehending the scope of what we are dealing with. Sburb-

dave: yyyyyyyeahh okay but like she was your mom and you were a kid.

rose: Yes, but I've learned to be mature and see things from her perspective. Every adult has their weaknesses. It'd be childish of me to not accept hers, like she was perfect. And besides, it's not like she didn't care. She was constantly offering me things related to my interests, yet I chose to shun-

dave: yeah but for example like you were thirteen and she offered you a vodka martini while completely inebriated and you were thirteen

rose: She also gave me a pony.

dave: how does that not prove my point

rose: No offense, but I think I am quite well-equipped to be aware of if I have any underlying "issues" left over from how my mother raised me in my childhood.

dave: no offense but youre still a child and also i am literally like 23 hours and 547.56̅ milliseconds older than you what makes you think you were more well equipped than i was

rose: I'm sorry, did you read the entire Wikipedia page for Diana Baumrind at ten?

dave: ...

rose: ...

dave: ...

rose: ... Didn't thin-

dave: just so we're clear rose that long pause i took just now was not me getting "got" it was me being wowed by everything you just revealed to me with that statement.

[brucebocchi]

Persona characters as NBA fans

my reasoning for each decision beneath the cut

Celtics/Akechi: Driven by an inhuman amount of spite and need to prove themselves when talent alone is more than enough to do the job. Just an insane amount of homophobic slurs

Nets/Labrys: She has a Brooklyn accent. Don’t overthink it.

Knicks/Ryoji: Say the name of the team out loud. You get it.

76ers/Maruki: “The Process” really was just mass brainwashing if you think about it

Raptors/Kamoshida: No hate to the Raptors organization but they really need to eat crow for letting Drake hitch his wagon to the franchise

Hawks/Ruferu: I don’t know shit about P5X but look at the birdy! Trae Young is also small and annoying,

Hornets/Eikichi: I thought the colors matched. I have never played a Persona game.

Magic/Elizabeth: She thinks the team name is literal. Are you going to tell her otherwise?

Heat/Akihiko: You just know he would be really fucking annoying about “Heat Culture”

Wizards/Yusuke: The hat has cherry blossoms on it and that was enough to shape his rooting interests. I’m enjoying giving him hilariously inept franchises.

Bulls/Erina: Nostalgia is all we have left.

Cavaliers/Haru: Haru is extremely rich and speaks exclusively in Comic Sans, just like Dan Gilbert

Pistons/Junpei: Found out about the “Bad Boy” days and was hooked, only to find out he was born a couple years after that era ended.

Pacers/Ken: Young and surprisingly potent on offense, just needs a few years to toughen up a bit

Bucks/Ohya: beer

Mavericks/Izanami: An unfairly powerful being, capable of manipulating the truth, who must be defeated swiftly. But enough about Miriam Adelson

Rockets/Lisa: She’s an enormous Sinophile so you know damn well she latched onto Yao Ming and never let go

Grizzlies/Kanji: “Uh, hell yeah! Grit n’ grind! Whoop that trick! Be a man!” (actually he just really wants to feel Grizz’s fur)

Pelicans/Chie: You cannot convince me that Chie Satonaka is not a pelican herself.

Spurs/Takemi: A color scheme favorable to goths, a history of solid fundamentals, and a total freak on the up-and-up. Victor Wembanyama is over two feet taller than her.

Nuggets/Yukiko: She just keeps picking the good ones man idk what to tell you

Timberwolves/Koromaru: dogy :) 

Thunder/Nanako: Youngest team in the NBA gets everyone’s favorite baby sister

Trail Blazers/Adachi: I like making him suffer with these

Jazz/Teddie: You’d think it’s because he’s the whitest boy imaginable but he read the “Personal Life” section of Karl Malone’s Wikipedia page and was inspired

Warriors/Sophia: If Silicon Valley gets its way, every Warriors fan will be replaced by an AI by 2035

Clippers/Metis: Perpetual younger sibling syndrome. May not actually exist

Lakers/Shido: He’s been courtside at every home game since 1985. You never noticed?

Suns/Konoe: Eternally at the mercy of the whims of an arrogant tech bro when an AI would probably do a better job

Kings/Yosuke: I like giving him moribund franchises but he’s actually picking up some W’s lately. Good for him!

[canmom]

reading Herbert Mason's translation of the Epic of Gilgamesh, as you do!

I went with Mason's translation after I saw it quoted here and there and seemed pretty solidly written - but it isn't precisely right to call it a translation, more a retelling of the story as Mason understands it. so it's not a line by line translation, and some major parts of it are presumably interpolations or paraphrases.

i knew the broad outline of the story but it's fascinating to put it in context, and discover parts of the story i hadn't heard about. for example, i didn't realise the concept of droit du seigneur was part of this story - I'd thought that was basically a goofy myth about the medieval period, but here in the oldest surviving written story, it's just a thing the mythological king Gilgamesh does. though the exact translation seems a little contentious - Mason writes:

As king, Gilgamesh was a tyrant to his people.

He demanded, from an old birthright,

The privilege of sleeping with their brides

Before the husbands were permitted

But Wikipedia quotes a different translation by Stephen Mitchell which says:

He is king, he does whatever he wants... takes the girl from her mother and uses her, the warrior's daughter, the young man's bride.

The general thrust is similar in both cases, but the details of the custom are different. I don't have Mitchell's translation so I can't find how he describes the moment Enkidu arrives to interfere with Gilgamesh doing one of these kingly rapes (like let's not beat around the bush here, it's a different social context and whatever but you can't possibly say no to the demigod king).

Moving on...

Viewed with modern eyes, the transition between the first chapter and the second is kind of abrupt. We've got this great establishing story for Gilgamesh and Enkidu having a rather homoerotic fight and becoming best bros, but then we abruptly skip forward to Gilgamesh declaring that they're going to go fight a monster called Humbaba, and Enkidu is all like, no, that guy is way too high level, you'll die! Modern writing advice would hold that you'd want to spend some time building up Gilgamesh and Enkidu's relationship 'on screen' here, and perhaps foreshadow the existence of Humbaba a bit sooner to build up the threat a bit - but then I'm not carving this into stone tablets, I can afford to be a little bit roundabout, and who knows what's been lost? (scholars of the Epic probably have some idea lol)

The word used for Gilgamesh and Enkidu's relationship is 'friend'. This feels like it's probably a bit of a lossy translation to me - would lover/boyfriend be projecting too much? I obviously don't know the nuances of Sumerian that well, so maybe this is the best available word, but their relationship has a lot of physicality and a lot of affection.

The woman who goes to Enkidu in the wild and has a bunch of sex until he becomes civilised is described here as a 'prostitute'. My understanding was that she belongs to a religious role here, harimtu, that's usually translated as 'sacred prostitution' but apparently this identity is contested, and also she has a name, Shamhat? I don't know why Mason doesn't use her name. Shamhat has a pretty big role in changing Enkidu and convincing him to come meet Gilgamesh, but her own motivation isn't really explored.

Still, I don't want to come off as only complaining. Whether they originate in the Epic or with Mason, I'm enjoying a lot of the poetic turns of phrase in this version - the style is just the right level of minimal - simple appropriate words, but effective for that. Mason writes in verse, but doesn't rhyme - I'm not really familiar enough with meter to say more than that. There are a lot of fairly short, declarative sentences, mixed up with an occasional much longer metaphor across multiple lines. I think you could fairly easily delete the line breaks and just have prose, but having them makes it flow in an interesting way, like waves? Poetry is not my bailiwick so I'm probably describing some fairly basic facets of the medium, but it's interesting to observe.

I'll add more when I've read a bit more, I'll be in this train a while...

[xiaq]

In work conversations, what you do say your weekend passion is?

It depends on the person (Do I tailor myself to be more likable depending on my audience? Of course!). If they're an outdoorsy type, I'll talk about rock climbing or hiking. Bros get cars/motorcycles. The stay-inside folks get reading and writing or home renovation/decor. And if they're my flavor of nerdy, I'll talk about fandom/conventions/cosplaying. One person expressed a love of random historical facts so for them I went with my habit of falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes and then ordering the books cited and reading up on random events like the Carpathia's rescue of the Titanic survivors. I have many passions!

[dramatic-dolphin]

disclaimer: I was halfway through typing this when I checked your blog again on another device and saw that it's been addressed, but here I go anyfuckingway

let's just interrogate that facts that we know about Imane Khelif. not even doing a deep dive and like, looking up Algerian birth records, let's just read her fucking Wikipedia page

She stated that her father initially did not allow her to participate in the sport because "he did not approve of boxing for girls".

At the 2018 AIBA Women's World Boxing Championships, Khelif finished 17th after being eliminated in the first round by Karina Ibragimova.

At the 2019 AIBA Women's World Boxing Championships, she finished 33rd after being eliminated in the first round by Natalia Shadrina.

She represented Algeria in the women's lightweight event at the 2020 Summer Olympics, where she was defeated by Ireland's Kellie Harrington in the quarterfinals.

At the 2022 IBA Women's World Boxing Championships, [she was] defeated by Amy Broadhurst in the final and finished runner-up.

In 2023, IBA president Umar Kremlev told Russian news agency TASS that the disqualifications were because DNA tests "proved they had XY chromosomes". (editor's note: TASS, lmao)

The Washington Post stated, "It remains unclear what standards Khelif and Lin Yu Ting failed [in 2023] to lead to the disqualifications,"

"There never has been evidence that […] Khelif […] had XY chromosomes or elevated levels of testosterone"

The IBA did not reveal the testing methodology, stating the "specifics remain confidential."

On 31 July 2024, regarding their 2023 decision, the IBA stated that Khelif and others "did not undergo a testosterone examination but were subject to a separate and recognized test, whereby the specifics remain confidential"

The IBA's Olympic status was revoked in June 2023, due to governance issues and perceived judging and refereeing corruption.

so, an organization so irredeemably corrupt that they lost their Olympic status said she had an unfair advantage, based on their painstaking methodology of "trust me bro". the widely accepted scientific approach of "we didn't check her testosterone but her vibe was mid".

Imane Khelif was born a woman, lived as a woman, boxed as a woman and has lost to other women multiple times. JK Rowling, Elon Musk and Luca Hámori can collectively choke on a bag of dicks.

Angela Carini can have little bag of dicks as a treat.

oh wow this is nice and clear, thanks for putting it all together. yeah. randomly declared a man based on their painstaking methodology of "just trust me bro. not telling you the details btw." which like. yeah it's private medical information but still. at least say what kind of test it was?

[aestariiwilderness]

Bad Batch -- Actually Probably Not Spoilers?

But Just In Case:

Like, for plot reasons, I see why they couldn't do it. But my biggest (and possibly the funniest) peeve I have with Bad Batch is this: Canonically, Tech is some kind of master hacker. Can forge chain codes after learning about them five seconds ago. Hacks battle droids -- presumably, you know, SECURED in some way -- on the regular. Masked a ship's signature or whatever. Calculates percentages of plans' successes on the fly while hanging upside down from a screechy flying reptile. Has zero fear (except when Omega is driving the Marauder or someone is doing the Wikipedia entry who isn't him) ("it's not affecting life support. We're fine"; riot racing; everything he's ever done). The moral heart of the Batch pre-Omega ("the systematic termination of the Jedi was a big one for me"; "I understand. I do not agree with you"; "of course we are a family"; "we have not always seen eye to eye with Crosshair but he is our brother and we do not leave our own behind"; but has no issue being pragmatic when it's called for (see: Cid, riot racing again, missions for Rex, interruptions thereof, etc.). Seriously. Wack job of a man. Crazy. Strict moral code arranged almost solely around his family that absolutely nobody sees coming and that, specifically, does NOT preclude massive destruction, property damage, and lethal measures. Ridiculous man. Homeschooled. Genetic Mandalorian. COMPETENT. (Usually.) Bona fide, literal, genetically-engineered test tube genius who is also biologically nine years old. Has no concept whatsoever of overkill. Point being -- he is EXACTLY the kind of person I would expect, once it sunk in that: 1. They are no longer Kaminoan/Republic property 2. They are, in fact, on the run with fam + new baby and - cranky but nonetheless beloved sniper bro who picked a terrible time to be stupid And 3. that "money" is now a thing they must Account For.... Give him two days to study finances, economy, and the various mafia; send him on a weekend trip to Nal Hutta to observe gangs, and hey presto -- the Hutts? overthrown in a year. Black Sun? Under new management. Pykes? A thing of the past. The Senate? Convening emergency sessions to discuss Where All the Money Has Gone. Palpatine's Secret Slush Fund #43? Drained. Hemlock's Science Budget? Currently funding the clone rebellion. ISB 401ks? Being used to pay someone to "retrieve" (read: kidnap) Crosshair from Rampart. Cad Bane's baby-stealing revenue? Currently outfitting the Marauder with gold plating. My point: WHY ISN'T TECH HACKING STAR WARS ATMs Story would have been over six episodes in. Tech would have foreclosed on the Palace; the Death Star would have fallen prey to insurance fraud; Omega would have grown up with more gowns than Padme. The Banking Clan bows to their new and, uh, eccentric overlords. Wrecker has thirteen new Z-6 cannons. Echo has thirteen natborn employees and is thoroughly enjoying himself. Hunter took an actual shower (still didn't get a new bandana). The Empire is turning over the empty coffers and shaking them out, wondering if they have rats. Mas Amedda is standing on street corners with an upturned hat. Crosshair is happily occupied with suing the Kaminoans for emotional damages. The end

[gravityfallswaddles]

So I wrote all the codes i currently have ! !

(I'll update if i have more) that should work for the thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com

I'll also discover some more clickable like information on the site I'll put that in separate post tho🧍🏽‍♀️

Triangle( 'tri harder' )

Baby bill (picture of baby bill)

Dipper ( a letter in gallery)

Mabel ( stickers around the site )

Bill cipher ( Wikipedia of tringale)

Stanford ( his hand x ray)

Stanley ( if you spam it it give you info abt him by bill)

Old man mc bucket (a letter)

Waddles( adopt a pig website )

Sorry ( picture + note )

Mystery Shack ( take you to confused hill)

When will I die ( show a random age of "death" )

Skibidi ( says something abt gas)

Soos( a whole letter to him)

Love( a funny funny )

Imstillonyourmind ( show clip of Stanley and stanford on boat)

Season 1 ( it's says season -1 antigravity fall)

Season 2 ( it says season 1)

Season 3 ( says season 2)

Adastraperaspera ( notes by mabel)

Blanching ( take you to a video of how make Blanch

Clone (give u a picture of Dipper clone)

T.J.ECKLEburg (gives you to not type the name ever aging)

Help me (it gives you video of bill and an axlotle)

Fuck (give u image to wash ur mouth)

Journal 3 ( says that journal is for him)

Journal 2 ( says that Journal is for you)

Journal 1 ( says that Journal is for fun)

Wendy(note)

Death ( life's goth cousin)

Wellwellwell being ( shows bill cipher well being)

Robbie (give u messages)

Weird (mc bucket kiddnap)

Vallis cineris ( bill family?)

Pines ( give a text of good family tree)

The book of bill ( give u text abt to hide it)

Card ( gives you a card of bill)

Hectoring (give you a music abt bill)

Mystery (give you '?')

Gravity falls ( give you "never heard of it")

Alex (give you his iconic shirt)

Disney (give you a text for censor protection)

Rat (give you "thurbursts number")

Universe ("holograms")

Portable (give you "portable exe. Working")

Cipher (bring u to a site abt illuminati)

Illregular (give you picture if bill cipher in prison)

Giffany( u need click many firm to get her and u and file saying "never leaving you" )

Mason ( gives you a letter)

Meow ( leads you to tiktok video of piano cat)

Tad strange (give you my love of my life)

Pacifica ( a letter)

Skeleton ( says 'the one the sword")

Hologram("universe")

Life(give you loading death now)

Horror(gives you an imagine of "always graden")

Curse WITTEBANe(gives you bill board)

Who are you (asks you same question)

Riddle ( give u a quiz game)

Cursed (give you images of to stop drawing tringales)

Nacho ( uh name explains ifself)

Reality ( give text saying "it's illustion")

XGQRTHX( give you text " where do tri angels come from")

Divorce (give you an image of "o' stanleys")

Mountain don't (give you text saying how old it is)

Pinata (title explain itself)

Conspiracy(give you video abt the timer)

ABUELita(gives you a video about hot sexy top 6 vacuums 🥰)

Love ya bro(imagine w a screact messge)

Cray cray(send you site to Wikipedia abt metal health)

MULtilevel mark(ask you a question)

I see ( tell you is seeing is a believe)

CRYPtogram codex(give u font)

Goodnight Sally (give u picture of shirt)

EUClydia( says " dimension not found")

Dippy fresh( show an image like old cartoon that has the designof dippy fresh idk how describe it )

Tantrum ( a text that I was too lazy to read)

Monster( send you to a 1976 puppet show web)

Virus( a fake virus )

Unreality ( give "how be immoral" )

Fuckalex ( put you in into a therapy site)

Byegold ( says bye back )

29121239168518 ( ask you who zimtrix)

One eyed king ( video of hypnotised you to deal with bill)

[lotuslolitasblog]

ROTI phone hcs, go!!!

Anne Maria:

The phone case is pink.

VERY PINK.

Pink & purple leopard print. I am right. You can’t fricking deny it

She has a phone string with purple and golden charms on it

It’s a pretty new model.

There’s a crack on the upper right corner.

She has trouble typing up the code with her nails, so she has Touch ID.

Her lockscreen is probably some bad pic of her and her gal pals or a great one of her and Vito

Her home screen is some dreamy purple background. Probably some clouds with tiny sparkles all around

Her ringtone… this one was hard. I don’t know any techno! I decided to go with like the one song I know, Evacuate The Dancefloor by Cascada.

She has a special ring tone for Vito, Everytime We Touch (also by Cascada)

She talks about the most unhinged gossip on the phone in public

Every contact is saved with a pretty emoji next to them (Jo insisted that if she HAD to have her name saved with a heart, it had to be the black one)

B:

…

…

Nah, kidding.

He has a clear phone case. Simple, but efficient.

His phone is pretty old, and he knows it inside out.

His phone has been through some shit, but the screen is somehow intact.

His Lock Screen is probably some pretty science-ish thing, like a butterfly nebula.

His Home Screen is just one of the default ones.

His ringtone (I don’t know why anyone would call him, but anyway) is some instrumental… I can’t come up with what he’d listen to tbh.

Absolute meme lord. Has a meme or a GIF for every occasion.

He has one alarm at 6:30 every day and never misses it (TEACH ME YOUR WAYS B)

Brick:

Black leather phone case. Dare to tell me I’m wrong. I am not.

His phone is absolute blasted. You cannot tell me there aren’t at least ten cracks. That man is a KLUTZ

These bullet points really show you who my favourite character is up until now

His lock screen and home screen are the same green army pattern background.

He changes the Home Screen to a picture he stealthily took of Jo

Old model.

iPhone? What is that???

His ringtone is absolutely awful. No song in mind, but Brick just sounds like someone with absolutely no taste in music.

Reveille is his alarm sound which goes off at 0600 hours every day. He’s also an adept at waking up with one alarm. Bro is always ready to seize the day

Talks ridiculously loud over the phone

Has absolutely no social media. He is nowhere

Cameron:

Bought a phone with the prize money

It’s one of his most prized possessions

His mom bought him one of those mom phone cases with the wrap in front (I don’t know how to word that correctly)

It’s black

His lock screen is a picture of a butterfly. Not just any butterfly! A Danaus plexippus (AKA a monarch butterfly - the orange and black ones with those little white dots)

His home screen is a picture of him with Mike and Zoey

His phone is a pretty new model. His mom was afraid it would overheat too much if he had an older one

His ringtone is You’ve Got A Friend In Me

He doesn’t need an alarm because his mom wakes him up every day

Dakota:

Pink,pink,pink!

Bubblegum pink!

She has a personalised pop socket! It has D written in gold and the rest is - you guessed it - pink

Her lock screen is a picture of her and Sam (cutie piessss)

Home Screen is her favourite picture of her

It’s the newest model (obvi)

Touch ID & Facial recognition for easy use

Has paparazzis on speed dial

Her ringtone is Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

If you have some time, check out the music video. The last few seconds are PRICELESS

She has every social media app you can think of

She’s verified too!!

Uses emojis religiously. Always uses !! or ?? instead of a single sign

Dawn:

Got a phone solely to be able to give tarot readings over call

She gives the money she makes from it to associations

She has a clear phone case, but she put an upright Fool card in it

It symbolises innocence and free spiritedness

I looked it up on Wikipedia. Thanks Wikipedia (Henry Cahill would be disappointed)

It’s a decently old model, but she doesn’t plan on changing it anytime soon

Somehow always charged

Her homescreen and lockscreen are different pictures of her friends (both human and animal)

Has a ringtone, but she can somehow always sense when someone will be calling a few seconds before it starts ringing

It’s probably some New Age music (Gwen: 😖)

Always answers 3 to 5 business days after you send a message. It’s better to call her directly

Jo:

A simple black phone case

Her Lock Screen is just a black background with white text that says: “Why are you even touching my phone?”

Her home screen is literally the worst picture of Brick ever.

She always manages to catch him at the worst moments

He used to hate it, but he finds it endearing now

Again, you can really see who are my favourites rn

Her workout playlist goes hard!

Her ringtone is It’s My Life by Bon Jovi

She doesn’t have an alarm

Alarms are for chumps

You’ll die before you ever see her use an emoji.

There’s a few cracks around the lower corners

It’s a miracle there aren’t more considering how much it falls while she runs

Her voice mail says: “It’s Jo. Just don’t call me.”

Lightning:

Newest model. There is no way he isn’t one of those people who change phones every time a newer one comes out

Has a personalised phone case.

It’s a blue one, with yellow lines, his jersey number and his name

Both the Home Screen and Lock Screen are pictures of him

As it should, king!!

His workout playlist is also great

He listens to Brick’s music recs too much though, so it’s not as good as Jo’s

Only sends voice messages

Sends every sports video he ever sees to Jo and Brick

Jo nearly blocked him because of it

Has an awesome group chat with the rest of his football team

Again, my favourites really show

His ringtone is Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5

Thought Jagger was a football player for the longest time

Mike & Co.

Mi: Black phone case so the system won’t go crazy

Mi: His Lock Screen & Home Screen is a picture of him and Zoey

The System: Writes out entire convos in the notes app

V: Everytime he’s in control, he changes the Home Screen to a picture of him and Anne Maria

V: He also calls her every single time

Cutie pie

V: voice messages are his thing

V: definitely dropped it a dozen times. It’s cracked all over.

S: Follows every gymnast you can think of on social media

S: She’s the reason Mike has a Russian keyboard too

S: Her and Simone Biles are literally besties

S: Forced him to install Duolingo to learn Russian

Mi: He makes her learn Italian

MS: Tries to install dating apps every time he’s on the phone

MS: Searches for “Single Women In The Area” way too many times for it not to be concerning

Reminder: He’s married.

MS: Mike changed the password and no one can tell him what the new one is

C: “Alarms? Back in my day, we woke up with the sun!” *disables it*

C: Also doesn’t know the new password

Ma: Are you kidding? Obviously doesn’t know the password.

Ma: Guessed it once, and changed Mike’s ringtone to fart sounds

Mi: The original ringtone was Under Pressure by David Bowie & Queen

V: Likes to change it to Ice Ice Baby because Mike won’t notice it instantly

Ice Ice Baby <3 Thank you Laurie Elliott

Sam:

A Mario phone case. No other option.

His Lock Screen is the same as Dakota’s

CUTIE PIESSSSS OMG I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH ASIDHDHS

*cough*

Anyways, his Home Screen is probably some game related Easter Egg.

Not an actual easter egg jic someone gets the wrong idea

His ringtone is Jump Up Superstar by The Living Tombstone

My personal fav version is the one by VGR

It’s a pretty new model

Dakota offered to buy him a newer one but he said it wasn’t necessary

It always has a low battery percentage so he carries a charger everywhere

Definitely a moderator on a few gaming rated subreddits or Discord servers

A lot more low-key than his gf on social media

They have matching profile pictures

Scott:

His phone is a hand me down

It’s so old it’s nearly a family heirloom

Dude doesn’t have a phone case

It SHOWS. His phone is beat up.

His lockscreen is a photoshopped pic of his sister’s head on the body of a donkey.

They’re each others biggest hater

His homescreen is just a big pile of dirt.

It always reminds him of home.

I’m having so much fun with this one you have no idea

Scott and Jo have the most insane Twitter beef I swear

There’s a Tumblr account dedicated to it.

Scott also has several fan accounts (all ran by me lmao)

His playlist is absolutely insane.

The only Kanye songs I listened to are Monster & American Boy - because he’s awful - and they’re both 10/10 songs I fear

Scott actually has an amazing taste in music

Dude probably loves Whistle

I hate to admit it but it’s a good song

His ringtone is Right Round by Flo Rida & Ke$ha

Staci:

Phone case is light blue.

Both backgrounds are family photos

The family group chat is crazy

She makes it her job to alter Wikipedia articles every weekend

Her calendar is full of family functions

Her ringtone is Beautiful atiful Liar by Beyoncé and Shakira

Unfortunately her music taste is great too

Her voice messages are infinitely long. So are her voice mails

Multiple people from Total Drama (Jo and Scott) have her blocked

Zoey:

Her phone case is clear. She slipped a Polaroid photo of the Revenge cast inside

She made her phone string herself. It’s full of cute charms like little mushrooms, flowers, ladybugs, leaves…

Her Lock Screen is a cute (and slightly goofy ) picture of her, Cam and Mike

Her Home Screen was a group selfie taken on a girl’s night she had with the Revenge girls. Jo has her middle finger out - it was painted black at Dakota’s insistence-, Dakota and Anne Maria are posing while Dawn and Staci have each other in a half-hug and Zoey is taking the picture and doing a peace sign

I should draw that sometimes…

Anyway, Zoey is definitely an avail emoji user too. Also kaomojis (/*•*)/

Her ring tone is Take Me Away by Christina Vidal

Freaky Friday anyone??

She posts the cutest pics on social media

Tries to defuse the Jo/Scott beef

Fails, miserably

[asecretvice]

Im dying at those tweets you ust reblogged. I can't believe two dudes were getting they are just gal pals treatment. So funny. Maybe it's more like those interpretations of historical letters where people are like: the way they talked about wanting each other and craving their touch and kiss is such an amazing display of historical friendship.

This whole thing made my month. I'm happy for them but also, the hilarity

Riiiiight? A heady mix of delight and disbelief!

A funny (both peculiar AND ha-ha) aspect of this whole thing is that it's impossible for us bystanders to know how long Mr. Olsson himself knew it was a relationship, either. There are so many factors, like how long he's known he's somewhere under the queer umbrella (as it seems Mr. Qualls has known a long time), what exactly was happening in his previous marriage--which was still legally intact at the time of some of those tweets--and look, according to his wikipedia page she was an American nurse during covid, they could have been stuck in different countries, the pandemic was a shitty time for every person on this planet, and I don't want to dismiss what was probably a rough period in his life, BUT:

There's a part of me...maybe my inner fic writer...that can't get over the possibility that Ty Olsson was gal pal-ing himself. Like he's hanging out with DJ, having the time of his life. He's found his best friend ever! The world is roses! He's the kind of guy you can't help but love and Ty's gonna say it loud and proud because DJ doesn't hesitate to say it, and why the fuck not! His friend is the best and deserves the best! They spend hours giggling and sharing ice cream. But their time is up. The sun dims as DJ leaves! So there's Ty Olsson, waving goodbye. Then, hands on his hips, he's basically like--

My guy may have literally lived out a real life rpf fic plot, a reverse-verse gal pal situation, and yeah, sure, the modern day equivalent of dudes just being bros and writing each other the most heartfelt missives you've ever read...except publicly.

Just one of the many reasons the werepire wedding is so wonderful ^_^