#dude doesn’t even listen to st he listened to like one song and said this isn’t metal lmfao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rowansparrow · 3 years

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Juke Box Hero: A Rose Story

This is SO STUPID LMAO But I hope you guys like it anyway. I’m back on my bullshit and I am here to provide you with a little story based off THIS POST. Anon, thank you for your service, because this was very, very fun.

This snippet takes place during Chapter Seven of BAON, during the flashback when Reader is meeting Rex for the first time and Rose and Co. are stuck cleaning up the barracks. You don’t necessarily have to have read it for this to make sense, but the right context might be neat.

Also, for timeline purposes/in BAON, Tup and Dogma technically never met Rose, as they weren’t part of the 501st before he died, but I’m including them in this because I make the rules and I wanted to.

Also Denal’s here because I think he’s a funky dude and deserves more content.

The clones deserve to dance and have fun and who’s gonna write them doing that if it ain’t me?

Rating: Mature-ish? There are some dirty jokes and swearing but mostly it’s Just fun shenanigans with Rose and Bros.

(Also I spent a TON of time picking everyone’s songs so pls tell me what you think of my selections lmao).

I’m tagging everyone from the BAON tag list in case you’re interested. Enjoy!

In retrospect, perhaps Rose should have put a stop to the loth cat situation – or as Hardcase called it, Operation: P.U.S.S.Y. He claimed it was an abbreviation for “Petting Unusually Sweet Strays, Yeah!”

“You have to call it something else.” Rose had said at the time, staring at the loth cat cradled protectively in Hardcase’s arms.

“But you’re not saying no?” Hardcase prompted eagerly, already bouncing lightly on his heels.

“Just…” Rose pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just… clean up after it? And if it breaks anything, it’s on you, and for the love of Force, don’t get caught.”

Now, as the Lieutenant surveyed the disarray that had befallen the barracks, and the company of very disgruntled subordinates, he was reconsidering his earlier leniency.

“I feel as the acting SIC, you’re the one who should be taking the flak for this, not the entire company.” Jesse grumbled, glaring at Lieutenant Rose over his shoulder as he scrubbed at the floor of the barracks.

“Don’t look at me. I’m not the one who brought a pregnant loth-cat into the barracks in the first place.” Rose replied, straightening up for a moment where he’d been hunched over, his back cracking as he moved.

“Well, you didn’t fight me very hard on it!” Hardcase protested. “And I didn’t know Beans was pregnant at the time! I didn’t even know she was a girl!”

His explanation only earned him several slugs to the arm from nearby vode.

“And just because I’m second-in-command does not make me exempt from the Captain’s wrath.” Rose added. “You didn’t get the dressing-down, you just have to carry out the punishment with me.”

“Hang on, I thought we agreed the cat’s name was going to be Road Rash?” Coric asked.

“That’s unladylike.” Said Denal. “And rude. She can’t help her scars.”

“And Beans is ladylike?” Jesse raised an eyebrow.

“She likes it! And her kits looked like beans when they came out too!”

Rose shook his head fondly at his men as they bickered. At least they weren’t complaining anymore.

In truth, he was surprised the situation had been managed as long as it had been. They’d lasted almost a full three weeks without anyone figuring out they were hiding a cat in the barracks. Of course, the kittens made it much harder, and they could only hide them in overturned helmets during inspections for so many days before the helmets started to mewl.

And once Beans threw a tantrum over not having her kits with her, it was game over. She’d knocked over an entire can of armor paint in her wrath, and blue pawprints and large paint puddles coated the durasteel of the barracks, and a few of the bunks had claw and bite marks in the fabric.

“It’ll take us an hour, maybe more, to clean this whole mess up.” Fives complained, looking around the barracks forlornly. He had a nasty scratch just under his eye from finally snatching Beans up in her rampage. “Kriff. I was excited to go out tonight.”

“Not to mention after we finish here the Captain said we had to go take over latrine and canteen detail from other battalions.”

“Then I guess you better get scrubbing.” Kix said absently, thumbing through medical requisition forms on his datapad and sitting cross-legged on one of the few bunks that didn’t have blue paw prints streaked across it.

“Why aren’t you helping? You’re part of the company too.” Echo said. “Fives and I are ARC troopers, if anyone here should be exempt from company-wide punishments, it’s us.”

“I’m not helping because I didn’t participate.” Kix replied, not looking up from his ‘pad.

“The kark you didn’t, you delivered the kits!” Fives snapped.

“Well, Captain Rex didn’t catch me, so.”

“That’s because you went and hid in the medbay and didn’t warn the rest of us he was coming.” Tup muttered under his breath.

“Not true. I sent Jesse a comm.” Kix said, finally looking up only to shrug and return to his work. “Which he didn’t check, and that’s not my fault.”

“It doesn’t matter who was involved and who wasn’t involved.” Dogma piped up. “Clearly, because if it did, I wouldn’t be here either.”

“We know.” Said Jesse and Fives in unison.

Rose sighed, his eyes drifting forlornly to his bunk. He spotted his footlocker sticking halfway out from underneath the durasteel, and he lit up. He opened it quickly, pulling out a beat-up radio he’d gotten at a market stall during one of his first deployments. He’d had to trade a droid popper and half his rations for it – Rex had not been pleased about it when he found out – but it was worth the two-day latrine rotation he’d gotten as punishment.

He’d already downloaded several songs off the HoloNet, along with a few channel recordings of past BoloBall games. Even if he knew who won them, it was still something to listen to on long stints on cruisers.

“What’cha doing, Lieutenant?” Tup asked, peeking around the corner as Rose straightened back up, fumbling with the little radio for a moment and propping it up on one of the bunks so the music could fill the whole room.

“No. NO! No.” Jesse jabbed a finger at the Lieutenant as he saw him set up the radio. “No. Absolutely not. I have had enough of your osik-brained, Force-forsaken, whack-ass music to last me a lifetime.”

Kix chuckled, rolling his eyes at the other trooper. “You listen exclusively to electronic dance music. Even when we aren’t at 79s. You have no room to talk.”

“This is better than that.” Rose promised, dialing up the volume. “This is the kind of stuff you’d find on the jukebox at Dex’s Diner.” He grinned. Dex was personal friends with General Kenobi, and was one of the few Coruscant establishments that was friendly to clones, as long as they behaved themselves. Rose had gone there with his brothers a handful of times, and even Anakin had dragged his Padawan Ahsoka, Rose, and Rex along once.

“You have a radio?” Dogma frowned. “Isn’t that contraband, sir?”

“Relax, it’s an old prewar-era radio, it’s not hurting anything.” Fives drawled, knocking Dogma lightly on the shoulder. “What’re you gonna play, sir?”

“Let’s see…” Rose filtered through his downloads, and grinned wider, pressing play.

Immediately, soft music rang through the barracks, and Jesse smacked his head against the bunk, groaning loudly.

“I’m begging you, Lieutenant.” Jesse said. “I’m begging.”

Rose was already swaying his hips, bending over to grab Jesse by the chin.

“On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair, warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air.” Rose serenaded him.

Jesse swatted Rose’s hand away, and Rose turned, swinging around on the side of the bunk and pointing to Fives this time. “Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light. My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim, I had to stop for the night.”

Fives grinned, joining in even as he stumbled slightly over the words.

“There she stood in the doorway. I heard the mission bell and I was thinking to myself, this could be Heaven or this could be Hell.”

Kix was drumming his fingers on his datapad, nodding along and singing under his breath.

“Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way. There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say…”

“This is too slow.” Echo griped, rising to his feet and stepping over Dogma, who was still stubbornly scrubbing away at the barrack floors and refusing to engage even as the rest of the clones began quietly singing along with the chorus.

The ARC Trooper fiddled with the dial for a moment, scrolling through Rose’s music and selecting another song, already grinning as the chanting started through the speakers and eventually rippled through the ranks of the 501st.

“STOP.” Jesse barked, trying to kick Fives as the other ARC trooper hopped to his feet, stomping his feet and chanting along. “STOP, I HATE THIS ONE!”

Rose and Hardcase were chanting too, and Coric had started clapping his hands on an overturned bucket, a few shinies clapping their hands together as Echo shook his ass, kama swaying as he climbed up onto a nearby table. He scooped up a mop, pulling the handle to his mouth.

“I can’t stop this feeling, deep inside of me.” He pointed to Kix, grinding against the handle. “Girl, you just don’t realize what you do to me.”

Kix gave him the finger, and Echo pointed to Fives, who was still chanting with the others but was now holding up his helmet, recording the whole thing. Echo amped up his performance.

“When you hold me in your arms so tight, you let me know everything’s alright. I’m hooked on a feeling!”

Tup whooped from where he’d moved to sit on one of the bunks. Dogma shot him a nasty look, which he ignored in favor of watching Echo strut on the table.

“I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me. Lips as sweet as candy, its taste is on my mind. Girl you got me thirsty for another cup of wine.”

“Wait, wait, wait, I have a good one.” Fives shoved his helmet at Hardcase, letting him take over recording as he scrambled to the radio, quickly turning the dial once again and elbowing Echo off the table as fast, loud, angry guitars shredded through the barracks.

Jesse seemed to perk up just slightly, and any of the 501st troopers who were still trying to actually clean – save for Dogma – had abandoned their supplies and had elected to dance instead, crowding the table and forming a makeshift mosh pit.

Fives was nothing if not a showman, and when he snatched the mop from Echo, he performed.

“When I get high, I get high on speed. Top fuel funny car’s a drug for me, my heart! My heart! Kickstart my heart!”

He stomped his foot hard on the table, flipping his head back and running one hand messily through his hair.

“Always got the cops coming after me, custom-built bike doing 103, my heart! My heart! Kickstart my heart!”

Rose laughed, watching as Fives looked at the helmet Hardcase was hoisting up over the crowd, singing into the camera and rolling his shoulders back.

“Ooh, are ya ready, girls? Ooh, are you ready now? Woah, yeah! Kickstart my heart, baby give it a start. Woah, yeah! Baby! Kickstart my heart, hope it never stops. Woah, yeah, baby yeah!”

The clones joined him for the chorus, and then Fives dropped to his knees like he’d seen rockers do on the HoloNet, high fiving the nearest vode. Dogma was still stubbornly trying to clean up the barracks, but had moved on to one of the far corners, only giving the rest of his battalion the occasional side-eye.

“Skydive naked from an aeroplane, or a lady with a body from outer space, my heart. My heart! Kickstart my heart.” He wiggled his hips as he straightened back up, biting his lip through a grin and dropping his hand to his hips and shaking his fist obscenely, as though he was jerking himself off.

“Say I got trouble, trouble in my eyes, I’m just looking for another good time, my heart. My heart! Kickstart my heart!”

Before Fives could do something else profane – or possibly attempt to crowd-surf and give Rose a handful of incident reports to fill out, the music suddenly shifted, and all heads turned to the radio.

Kix was smirking. He’d divested himself of the top half of his armor, instead electing to shimmy his way up onto the table in just the upper half of his blacks and lower armor plates. Fives exited, rejoining the crowd as Kix leveled a sultry look at the camera for just a moment before turning his back on the crowd.

“Clean shirt, new shoes, and I don’t know where I am goin’ to. Silk suit, black tie, I don’t need a reason why.”

He spun quickly, switching his grip on the mop handle as though he was holding a woman in his arms, dipping it low towards the crowd as he sang.

“They come a runnin’ just as fast as they can, ‘cos every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man.”

Fives and Echo were howling with laughter, and Hardcase wolf-whistled loud enough that Rose’s ears rang. Even Jesse had finally joined in, nodding his head along to the music and trying to bite back a grin. Tup had left the crowd to instead attempt to pull Dogma in, and Denal had rounded up a few newer members and was trying to push them closer to the front.

Kix unzipped the top half of his blacks, doing a slow strip-tease in time with the music.

“Gold watch, diamond ring, I ain’t missin’, not a single thing. And cufflinks, stickpin, when I step out I’mma do you in.” Kix shrugged out of his blacks and rolled his hips along the mop handle, dropping his ass low and slowly dragging himself back up, grinding against the handle.

“They come a runnin’ just as fast as they can, ‘cos every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man.”

Fives actually pretended to faint, falling backwards into Echo, who was laughing so hard that he fell over with him.

“ALRIGHT!” Dogma shouted over the music, elbowing his way through the crowd with Tup following anxiously behind him. Dogma firmly stopped the music, hands on his hips as he turned to face the rest of his brothers, who’d begun to boo.

“We have orders,” Dogma reminded them. “This is a punishment, not a party. When we finish here, we’re supposed to clean the shower block, and then we’re supposed to report to the mess hall and take over the canteen cleanup shifts.”

“We know the orders, Dogma.” Rose said, putting a hand on the younger trooper’s shoulder. “There’s no harm in having fun while you work.”

“I’m the only one still working.” Dogma grumbled.

“Alright, alright, we’ll turn it low for now, and we’ll finish up in here, then we can bring the radio with us when we move to the refreshers and canteen. Fair?” He asked, turning to the rest of the men. There were a few muttered responses, and Rose raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry, I couldn’t quite make that out.” He said. “We are cleaning this mess up, correct gentlemen?”

“Sir yes sir!” They all answered quickly, hurrying back to work.

Rose chuckled, shifting the music to something a little calmer, the gentle piano wafting through the barracks as they continued to clean up.

Denal’s head perked up as soon as he heard the piano start, and while he didn’t climb up onto the table like his brothers had, he smiled to himself, turning back towards the spot he was scrubbing and singing to the durasteel floor.

“I'm sailing away. Set an open course for the Virgin Sea.”

Echo hummed, closing his eyes and rocking back on his heels for a moment, listening to his older vod croon.

“'Cause I've got to be free. Free to face the life that's ahead of me.” Denal continued, his voice soft but steady. “On board I'm the captain, so climb aboard. We'll search for tomorrow on every shore and I'll try, oh Lord I'll try… to carry on.”

Somebody whistled, a few scattered claps ringing through the barracks. Coric picked up where Denal left off.

“I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory. Some happy some sad.” He sang. “I think of childhood friends, and the dreams we had.”

Tup glanced to Dogma, who was practically seething as he scrubbed at the same spot on the floor that he’d been working on for the past several minutes. “You like this song, don’t you, Dogma?”

“No I don’t. Shut up.”

“Join in. They won’t mind.” Tup encouraged.

“No.”

“We live happily forever, so the story goes. But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold.” Sang Coric. “But we'll try best that we can to carry on!”

The music picked up, and Jesse shot Rose a look.

“This is a deceptively fast song.” He said.

“It sneaks up on ya.” Rose chuckled.

The barracks devolved into chaos once again, the clones all screaming along to the lyrics, even the ones who didn’t know the words picked it up quickly, encouraged by their brothers.

Despite the distractions, they finally finished cleaning the barracks, and Rose plucked the radio from where he’d stashed it, leading the way down the hallway towards the refreshers. The 501st were especially rowdy in the quiet halls – most of the barracks were empty, the clones who weren’t being punished for loth-cat related shenanigans were taking advantage of the shore leave.

When they opened the door to the shower block, they encountered a few members of the 212th already in there, cleaning up.

“Pack it in, lads.” Rose announced. “We’re taking over for you.”

“What? Why?” Boil asked, leaning on a mop and raising an eyebrow. “Did you get in trouble?”

“Yes.” Hardcase replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“All of you?” Waxer poked his head out from inside one of the refresher stalls, Crys and Wooley pausing from where they were wiping down countertops.

“Yeah, it’s Hardcase’s fault. As usual.” Jesse said, strolling over to Boil and plucking the mop from his hands. “We’re supposed to take over your shifts.”

“Good, I was hoping to get to 79’s tonight before last call. I hear they’ve got purple spotchka.” Boil said excitedly, glancing at Waxer over his shoulder.

“We can help you finish.” Waxer said, immediately raining on his brother’s parade. “There isn’t much left to do anyway.”

“You sure?” Rose asked. “It’s technically a punishment -.”

“Nah, it’s fine, there really isn’t much left, aside from the toilets.” He grinned. “But you boys can handle those.”

“Fair enough.” Rose chuckled, nodding over his shoulder to his men. Fives, Echo, Jesse, and Hardcase were in a heated four-way battle of rock, flimsi, cutters in order to determine who had to clean the toilets first.

“What’s that?” One trooper Rose didn’t recognize asked, pointing to his hand.

“It’s a radio!” Rose said cheerfully. “I’m err… technically not supposed to have it. But we’ve been listening to music while we worked.” He set it up on the countertop. “Do you have a favorite song…?”

“Spitter.” The 212th trooper supplied helpfully.

“Spitter.” Rose repeated, chuckling to himself and wondering how the hell he’d earned that name. “Do you have a favorite song?”

“I don’t know the name of it.” The trooper admitted shyly. “But – but it’s the one they play on the hits channel all the time. I hear it playing in the admiral’s quarters on the Negotiator all the time.”

“I know that one!” Waxer said excitedly, nodding to Rose. “It’s the one Commander Cody likes. You were playing it in the hangar a few weeks ago when our flight detail overlapped.”

“I remember.” Rose smiled, and turned the song on.

Immediately, every head, including Dogma’s, perked up at the familiar tune. Fives clapped his hands together, getting them started.

“When I wake up, well I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who wakes up next to you.”

The younger trooper, Spitter, lit up and followed it up.

“When I go out, yeah I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who goes along with you.”

Waxer elbowed Boil, trying to get him to join in, but the other trooper shook his head and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes even as Waxer sang.

“If I get drunk, well I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you.”

Their voices carried through the refresher’s tiled walls, and Jesse picked up where Waxer left off.

“And if I haver, yeah I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who’s havering to you.”

When the chorus rolled around, everyone joined in, their voices bouncing off the walls around them.

“But I would walk five hundred miles, and I would walk five hundred more, just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door.”

“When I’m working,” Kix began, offering a hand to Wooley and giving him a playful spin. “Yes I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who’s working hard for you.”

“And when the money comes in for the work I do, I’ll pass almost every penny on to you.” Wooley laughed, shoving Kix away with a grin.

“When I come home,” Tup piped up quickly, before someone else could. “Oh, I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who comes back home to you.”

“And if I grow old,” Crys smirked, shaking his shoulders at Fives, who punched him playfully in the arms and joined in, singing the line in unison. “Well, I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who’s growing old with you.”

The chorus returned, and they sang with even more feeling than before, dancing and tossing their heads back, shouting along to the words and nearly drowning out the music itself as they sang.

As the final verse approached, Waxer sidled up next to Boil, giving him a hopeful look. His brother sighed, scrubbing a hand bitterly over his face and reluctantly joined in.

“When I’m lonely, well I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who’s lonely without you.” He sang.

“And when I’m dreaming,” Echo called. “Well I know I’m gonna dream, I’m gonna dream about the time when I’m with you.”

“And when I go out, well I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who goes along with you.” Fives followed.

“And when I come home, yes I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who comes back home with you.” Denal said.

Tup took a deep breath, preparing to finish off the verse, but he was cut off.

“I’m gonna be the man who’s coming home,” Dogma’s voice was shaky as all eyes turned to him, and he finished in a squeak. “With you.”

The room erupted in cheers, Fives catching Dogma under his arm and giving him a noogie as the chorus rang out once again, everyone shouting along to the lyrics together.

When the song ended, and the cleanup was done, the 212th parted ways with the 501st, the brothers patting one another on the back and jeering affectionately at one another now that the song and dance was done.

“If you finish with everything before final call, catch up with us at 79’s.” Boil called over his shoulder. “We can give the vode there a run for their money with our rendition of that song.”

“Count on it.” Rose chuckled, giving the other company a little salute before leading his men on towards the canteen.

The canteen, blessedly, was empty, and most of it was already clean. All they really had to do was wipe everything down, mop, and then make sure the kitchen was well-prepped for the next day.

“I didn’t know you had it in ya, Dogma.” Echo said affectionately, knocking his younger vod playfully in the shoulder as they walked.

“Let’s just get this over with.” Dogma muttered, his ears burning as he pushed into the canteen, grabbing the cleaning supplies from the nearby supply closet.

“Who’s turn was it for a solo?” Fives asked, watching as Rose started to set up the radio above one of the food windows so it could project into the entire cafeteria.

“I think Dogma should go.” Kix grinned. “Now that we know he’s got some pipes.”

“Absolutely not.” Dogma said immediately, not looking up from where he was wiping down tables.

“I can go first?” Tup offered, raising his hand sheepishly. Dogma shot him another stern look, but Tup was already wandering over to the radio, moving the dial and tentatively pressing play.

Upbeat music filled the canteen, and the other troopers cheered as Fives ushered Tup over to the nearest table, boosting him up on top of it and then thrusting a mop into his hands. Hardcase was already fumbling with the helmet again, trying to get a recording as Tup tapped his foot along with the beat, nodding his head as he found his rhythm.

“I get up in the evening, and I ain’t got nothing to say. I come home in the morning, I go to bed feeling the same way.”

Fives was leading other troopers in pounding the surrounding tables in time with the drumbeats while Echo was leading another group to clap in time.

“I ain’t nothing but tired! Man, I’m just tired and bored with myself.” Tup flashed the camera a grin, reaching up and pulling his hair tie out, shaking his wild curls loose around his head. “Hey there baby, I could use just a little help.”

Jesse whistled, and Dogma had stopped cleaning and was watching his brother, the slightest smile pulling at his lips.

“You can’t start a fire, can’t start a fire without a spark. This gun’s for hire, even if we’re just dancing in the dark.”

Tup shook his hair out of his eyes, tossing his head back and jerking his hips.

“Messages keep getting clearer, radio’s on and I’m moving ‘round my place. I check my look in the mirror, wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face!”

He swayed his hips again, and Hardcase shoved the camera at Kix instead so he could join in the clapping.

“Man, I ain’t getting nowhere, I’m just living in a dump like this. There’s something happening somewhere, baby I just know that there is.”

He hopped off the table, instead taking Dogma’s hand and dragging him towards the makeshift stage.

“You can’t start a fire, you can’t start a fire without a spark. This gun’s for hire, even if we’re just dancing in the dark.”

He pushed the mop into Dogma’s hands instead, beaming at him as he scurried off the table, sprinting over to the radio and quickly changing the song.

Immediately, slow guitar started but quickly escalated into heavy drums and fast riffs. Dogma’s cheeks turned a darker shade, and he looked frantically to Tup, trying to climb back down off the stage.

“No, no, come on!” Fives shouted, trying to body block Dogma from getting down. “Come on, you got this!”

The lyrics began, and Dogma sang along, his mouth barely moving, voice almost imperceptible.

“Another head hangs lowly, child is slowly taken… and the violence caused such silence, who are we mistaken?”

“Come on!” Tup called to him. “You LOVE this song! Let ‘em hear it!”

Dogma grit his teeth, his voice gaining strength. “But you see, it’s not me, it’s not my family, in your head, in your head they are fighting.”

He stomped his foot on the table, practically snarling out the words. “With their tanks, and their bombs, and their bombs, and their guns, in your head, in your head they are crying.”

He threw his head back, and for not the first time that night, the radio was drowned out by cheers.

“In your head! In your head! Zombie, Zombie, Zombie. What’s in your head? In your head? Zombie, Zombie, Zombie!”

Dogma climbed off the table quickly, his ears and cheeks burning but a small smile was on his face, even as he was smothered by Hardcase, Fives, Tup, and Echo swarming him with hugs and rubbing his head affectionately.

Jesse climbed up onto the table next, picking up the discarded mop and clearing his throat.

“I would just like to dedicate this song to the gorgeous woman I picked up at 79s last week.” He drawled, nodding once to Kix, who was hovering knowingly by the radio. He nodded once to the helmet, which was now stationed on a nearby table, still recording. “Darling, you had the best pair of tits I have ever seen in my entire life, and you had the mouth of an angel and the coochie of a devil.”

Fives whistled, and Coric snickered. Rose rolled his eyes.

“So, babygirl, this one is for you.”

Kix turned on the radio, and Jesse grinned.

“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. Darling, you give love a bad name.”

Guitar rang out through the mess hall, and Jesse bit his lip, rolling his hips as he leaned slightly off the edge of the table.

“An angel’s smile is what you sell, you promised me heaven then put me through hell. Chains of love got a hold on me, when passion’s a prison, you can’t break free.”

He dropped into a crouch, singing directly into the camera.

“Whoa, you’re a loaded gun, whoa, there’s nowhere to run, no one can save me, the damage is done!”

He jumped to his feet, the table shaking under him as he landed.

“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. You give love a bad name. I play my part and you play your game, you give love a bad name!” He turned his back on the crowd, dropping low again and slowly rising, shaking his ass. “Yeah you give love…”

He looked over his shoulder, tossing the camera a wink. “…a bad name.”

The music changed abruptly, and for a moment Jesse looked pissed. “What the hell, ‘Case?”

But his expression shifted as Hardcase rushed to the table, pushing his brother out of the way and taking the mop from him. The crowd cheered all over again as Jesse climbed down, brothers slapping him on the shoulders as Hardcase’s song started up.

“We finish strong, right vode?” He asked cheekily.

“We still have to finish cleaning!” Dogma called back.

Hardcase only smirked in response, and sang quickly to keep up with the lightning fast lyrics.

“Backstroking lover always hiding ‘neath the cover, can I talk to you, my daddy say. He said, you ain’t seen nothing ‘til you’re down on a muff and then you’re sure to be a-changin’ your ways.”

He cupped his codpiece, bucking his hips forward into his own hand.

“I met a cheerleader, was a real young bleeder, all the times I can reminisce. ‘Cos the best things of lovin’ with her sister and her cousin only started with a little kiss, like this!”

He swung his arms wide, shaking his ass in time with the music and stuck his tongue out, having the time of his life.

“See-saw swingin’ with the boys in the school and your feet flyin’ up in the air. Singin’ hey diddle diddle with your kitty in the middle of the swing like you didn’t care.”

He walked backwards along the table, rolling his shoulders back as he moved.

“So I took a big chance at the high school dance with a missy who was ready to play. Wasn’t me she was foolin’ ‘cos she knew what she was doin’, and I know love is here to stay when she told me to walk this way!”

The rest of the 501st joined in with him, repeating the chorus of “Walk this way! Walk this way! Walk this way!” over and over again, Hardcase taking over again as the next verse began.

“School girl sweetie was the sassy kinda classy, little skirt’s climbing way up her knees. There was three young ladies in the school gym locker when I noticed they was lookin’ at me.”

He ran his hands along his thigh, mimicking raising a skirt.

“I was a high school loser, never made it with a lady ‘til the boys told me something I missed. Then my next-door neighbor with a daughter had a favor so I gave her just a little kiss, like this!”

“Do you think he has any idea what he’s singing about?” Kix asked Rose, leaning back against the counter and chuckling.

He watched as Hardcase went back to grabbing his own crotch, dry-humping the air and hummed.

“I’d say most likely.”

“See-saw swingin’ with the boys in the school and your feet flyin’ up in the air. Singin’ hey diddle diddle with your kitty in the middle of the swing like you didn’t care.”

Hardcase grinned, and to both Kix and Rose’s utter chagrin, Hardcase actually did dive off the makeshift stage and attempt to crowd surf.

“I’m not patching you up!” Kix shouted over the roar of the music. Rose chuckled, turning the volume nod down as the rest of the 501st shouted in protest.

“Alright, that’s enough for now.” The Lieutenant said, taking control once more. “We can listen to it quietly in the background, but we really do need to wrap up cleaning.”

“Why? Got a date tonight?” Jesse asked with a raised eyebrow. Rose punched him lightly in the arm, and they got back to work once again.

They worked in relative silence, the occasional voice humming or singing along to the music, but they remained productive right up until one of the final songs Rose had downloaded cut through the speaker. The piano wasn’t as rich-sounding as it was through a regular speaker, but even through the tinny cadence of the beat-up radio, every single trooper in the canteen bolted upright, eyebrows raised. Rose smiled knowingly, and turned up the volume once again.

Fives beamed, sitting down on top of one of the tables and laying back, one leg bent and the other stretched flat, a hand behind his head as he sang up at the ceiling.

“Just a small-town girl, living in a lonely world. She took the midnight train going anywhere.”

Jesse leaned back against the wall on the other side of the canteen, closing his eyes as he joined in.

“Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit. He took the midnight train going anywhere.”

Echo kept mopping, but was grinning as he picked up the next line. “A singer in a smoky room, the smell of wine and cheap perfume.”

Kix grinned. “For a smile, they can share the night, it goes on, and on, and on, and on.”

The rest of the 501st joined in together, their voices carrying in perfect harmony.

“Strangers, waiting. Up and down the boulevard, their shadows searching in the night. Streetlight people, living just to find emotion, hiding somewhere in the -.”

“Night!” Hardcase shouted, straining every muscle in his chest and neck as he struggled to reach the high note.

Tup picked up the next verse, climbing onto one of the tables and dragging Dogma up with him once again.

“Working hard to get my fill, everybody wants the thrill. Paying anything to roll the dice just one more time.”

Dogma smiled, nodding his head along to the music. “Some will win, some will lose.”

Tup threw his arm around his brother, and the two of them sang together. “Some were born to sing the blues!”

Rose’s voice carried from over by the radio. “Oh the movie never ends, it goes on and on, and on and on!”

“Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard, their shadows searching in the night. Streetlight people, living just to find emotion, hiding somewhere in the -.”

“NIGHT!” This time, it was Dogma, of all people, who rang out with the high note, and the explosion of shouts and cheers was deafening. They were screaming along to the lyrics, dancing and jumping and shouting and swaying in time with the song.

“Don’t stop believin’! Hold on to that feeling. Streetlight people! Don’t stop believin’, hold on-”

“WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!”

The booming voice was so powerful, it could be heard even over the shouts of all the clones. Echo was closest to the radio, and quickly shut it off as the song and dance stopped immediately, every clone scrambling to stand at attention.

The Jedi that filled the doorway was massive, an imposing shadow in the entrance to the canteen. He zeroed in on Tup and Dogma, who had been standing closest to the entrance, and stormed towards them.

“Who is your commanding officer?!”

“Me, sir.”

The Besalisk Jedi turned, spinning on Rose immediately. He stalked over to the Lieutenant, jabbing a meaty finger into his chest, hard enough to send him stumbling backwards.

“What is the meaning of this?” He snarled.

“Sir, we were assigned cleaning detail.” He explained. “We were just finishing up.”

The Jedi bared his teeth. “Doesn’t look like much cleaning was taking place to me.”

He surveyed the rest of the troopers, but turned his head back to Rose.

“What is your designation?”

“CT-7673.” Rose recited immediately, keeping his back ramrod straight at attention, even though the Jedi was deep in his personal space. He knew this man. General Krell had quite the reputation through the GAR, and Rose had no clue what he was doing outside of the Jedi Temple this late at night.

“Who is your commanding officer?”

“Captain Rex, sir.”

“Not a clone! Is there a malfunction in your design?!” The Jedi bellowed. A few feet behind him, Hardcase flinched at the sudden loud sound, but Rose held still. “Your general, CT-7673! Who is your Commanding Officer!?”

“General Skywalker, sir.” Rose said instead. The canteen was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

He turned his head, noticing the little radio on the table and picked it up, the device small in his massive hands, raising an eyebrow at Rose. “Contraband, disturbance of the peace, behavior unbecoming of an officer, insubordination.” He hissed. “That’s plenty of grounds for a court martial, Lieutenant.”

“Sir.” Fives spoke up, taking a step towards them. “Proper chain of command designates General Skywalker as the one to hand down a court martial order, sir.”

He narrowed his eyes, his voice dripping with contempt. “With all due respect, sir, you do not command this battalion, and cannot order a court martial on the Lieutenant.”

“Fives.” Rose snapped, whipping his head around to face Fives. “Stand down. Now.”

The ARC Trooper shrank back, his hands curled into fists at his sides, and the General turned back to Rose.

“Be that as it may,” he began icily. “You can rest assured this breach of conduct will not go unreported.”

“Yes sir.” Rose replied stiffly.

General Krell pulled back at last, surveying the battalion. “I want this canteen spotless, and not a word out of you in the meantime!” He ordered. “And I don’t think you’ll be needing this anymore.”

With one quick motion, he smashed the radio in his hands. Rose heard a soft, hurt sound somewhere behind him, but ignored it. He didn’t look away from the General.

“Dismissed.” Krell growled, turning and stalking towards the doors. “And as for you,” He turned, jabbing one large finger at Fives. “I’ll be mentioning you in my report as well. Pray our paths do not cross again, clone.”

And with those words, he left the canteen.

Rose relaxed, but only minimally so. The silence hung heavy over the 501st, and everyone quietly shuffled back to work.

Rose gripped the mop handle tightly as he worked, his knuckles turning white. His chest burned, a tight, constricting feeling wrapped around his insides. It was a feeling he’d never felt before – anger, sadness, humiliation, resignation – all rolled into one hateful ball, coiled in his gut.

“Finished with the kitchen, sir.” Came Tup’s small voice. He’d put his hair back up, the tight bun back to regulation standards. Dogma was standing stiff beside him, still not entirely relaxed yet. “And the um – the canteen area’s just about wrapped up as well.”

“Very good.” Rose said with a small nod. “I’ll report back to Captain Rex, let him know we’ve finished for the night.”

“Sorry about your radio, sir.” Hardcase murmured, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s alright, ‘Case.” Rose smiled, but his eyes were sad. “It was – it was old, anyway. Just a silly thing.”

Fives bristled, his jaw setting as he tossed the bucket he’d been holding back into the supply closet with far more force than necessary.

“We aren’t supposed to leave base for the rest of the night, right?” Denal asked, arms folded across his chest as they finished the last of the cleanup. “Guess we could play Sabacc or something back in the barracks?”

There were a few murmured agreements, and the 501st shuffled back towards the barracks. Rose was still thinking about the General, and had a bitter taste in his mouth. They hadn’t been doing anything wrong, really.

Was it such a crime to enjoy oneself? To simply exist?

Fives and Echo fell into step on either side of Rose, the ARC Troopers bracketing their Lieutenant. “I bet Echo and I could rebuild the radio.” Fives offered. “Might take a little bit, but even if we can’t, Kix is real good at bartering stuff down in the markets. Remember when he got us those HoloDisc movies for just a tube of bacta?”

“We could find another radio for you?” Echo suggested hopefully. “Or maybe,” he lowered his voice slightly. “Maybe Y/N could find you one?”

“Let it go.” Rose said, picking up the pace and pulling away from the ARC Troopers. They reentered the now far tidier barracks, and Rose gravitated back to his footlocker, starting to close it up and push it back under his bed. The metal clacked slightly against the edge of the bunk, and he paused, the tinny sound echoing in his ears.

He knocked the footlocker against the bunk again, listening to the little noise again.

Kark it. He was more than just a mindless flesh-droid. He was a person. A human being. And he liked music.

And he wasn’t about to let anybody take that away from him.

“I never got to do a song.” He announced, straightening up and putting his hands on his hips.

“You can’t be serious, sir.” Dogma said, shaking his head at him. “Haven’t we gotten in enough trouble?”

“I’m sure the General’s slithered back to the Temple by now, where he belongs.” Jesse replied, turning back to the Lieutenant. “We don’t have a radio anymore, sir.”

“We don’t need one.” Rose said, pulling his footlocker back out and propping up one leg on it. He tapped his foot against the metal, the rhythm settling, nodding his head along. He took a deep breath.

“Standing in the rain, with his head hung low. Couldn't get a ticket, it was a sold out show.”

Fives recognized the song, and started tapping his foot along, drumming his hands on an overturned weapons crate.

“Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the scene. Put his ear to the wall, then like a distant scream.” Rose climbed up onto the table. “He heard one guitar!”

Jesse slammed a bucket from earlier down against the supports of a bunk, the loud clang mimicking the strum of a guitar.

“Just blew him away. He saw stars in his eyes, and the very next day, bought a beat up six string in a secondhand store. Didn’t know how to play it, but he knew for sure, that one guitar!”

Another clang, this time from Kix repeating Jesse’s motion, and Echo, Denal, Coric and Fives were all drumming on overturned buckets and crates.

“Felt good in his hands! Didn’t take long to understand, just one guitar, slung way down low, was a one way ticket, only one way to go.”

Tup and Hardcase had picked up a brush – typically used for scrubbing their blasters and armor down – and were knocking it against the durasteel wall. Dogma had rounded up the others, a look of sheer determination on his face as they clamored around the bunks and tables, smacking their fists in rhythm with anything they could get their hands on.

“So he started rockin', ain't never gonna stop. Gotta keep on rockin', someday gonna make it to the top!”

Rose stomped his feet, and the rest of the 501st joined him for the chorus.

“And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes. He's a juke box hero!”

“He took one guitar,” Rose sang, while the rest of the battalion echoed “juke box hero, stars in his eyes” around him. “Juke box hero, he’ll come alive tonight.”

The singing quieted down, listening for a moment to see if anyone was coming, and Rose grinned, starting again and pitching his voice low.

“In a town without a name, in a heavy downpour, thought he passed his own shadow, by the backstage door.”

The clones took position, preparing to resume their makeshift instruments as Rose picked up in volume.

“Like a trip through the past, to that day in the rain. And that one guitar, made his whole life change! Now he needs to keep on rockin', he just can't stop! Gotta keep on rockin', that boy has got to stay on top!”

Once again, shouts rang out as his brothers joined him for the chorus, their voices louder and more determined than ever, refusing to be silenced.

“And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes. He's a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes. Yeah, juke box hero, stars in his eyes. With that one guitar, he'll come alive, come alive tonight.”

As they finished the song, Rose panted softly, glancing down at his commlink again. He decided he was going to go off base after all. He wanted to see you, and nobody, not his Captain’s orders, and definitely not some karking General like Krell, was going to stop him.

“Dismissed.” He said curtly, and took off out the door without another word.

SONGS USED (because they’re all bangers and you should listen to them):

The 501st (introduction): Hotel California Echo: Hooked on a Feeling Fives: Kickstart My Heart Kix: Sharp Dressed Man Jesse: You Give Love a Bad Name Coric and Denal: Come Sail Away Dogma: Zombie Tup: Dancing in the Dark Hardcase: Walk This Way The 212th and 501st: I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) The 501st (Canteen finale): Don’t Stop Believin’ Rose and the 501st: Juke Box Hero

TAG LIST (Aka everyone on the tag list for BAON): @fat-zygerrian @ladydiomede @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @threevie @cheesemachine44 @bubblyacey @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @loverofclones @starwarsgarbage @hockeyjedi13 @crazygirlwithasword @dar-manda-rjct @gotomarvelgal @baba-fett @whore4rex @bubblegumcat229 @generalcannoli @hellothere501stlover @in-the-crosshairs @vaderthepotater @for-the-love-of-clones @babyhowzer @imrealatedtothe501st @chewychewyque @bobafettuccini @baba-fett-writes @chromia7567 @coffeeandtodd @thedomesticatednerd @kirinpl @djarrex @a-c-lee @embarrassedauthornerd @kaorikoizumi @the-girl-of-rain-and-shadows @sammi9498 @theroguesully @salaminus

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ifuckinglovestvincent · 4 years

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THE FORTY-FIVE: ST. VINCENT

Sleazy, gritty, grimy – these are the words used to describe the latest iteration of St. Vincent, Annie Clark’s alter ego. As she teases the release of her upcoming new album, ‘Daddy’s Home’, Eve Barlow finds out who’s wearing the trousers now.

Photos: Zackery Michael

Yellow may be the colour of gold, the hue of a perfect blonde or the shade of the sun, but when it’s too garish, yellow denotes the stain of sickness and the luridness of sleaze. On ‘Pay Your Way In Pain’ – the first single from St. Vincent’s forthcoming sixth album ‘Daddy’s Home’ – Annie Clark basks in the palette of cheap 1970s yellows; a dirty, salacious yellow that even the most prudish of individuals find difficult to avert their gaze from. It’s a yellow that recalls the smell of cigarettes on fingers, the tape across tomorrow’s crime scene or the dull ache of bad penetration.

The video for the single, which dropped last Thursday, features Clark in a blonde wig and suit, channeling a John Cassavetes anti-heroine (think Gena Rowlands in Gloria) and ‘Fame’-era Bowie. She twists in front of too-bright disco lights. She roughs up her voice. She sings about the price we pay for searching for acceptance while being outcast from society. “So I went to the park just to watch the little children/ The mothers saw my heels and they said I wasn’t welcome,” she coos, and you immediately recognise the scene of a free woman threatening the post-nuclear families aspiring to innocence. Clark is here to pervert them.

She laughs. “That’s how I feel!” From her studio in Los Angeles, she begins quoting lyrics from Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Red House’. “It’s a blues song for 2021.” LA is a city Clark reluctantly only half calls home, and one that is opposed to her vastly preferred New York. “I don’t feel any romantic attachment to Los Angeles,” she says of the place she coined the song ‘Los Ageless’ about on 2017’s ‘Masseduction’ (“The Los Ageless hang out by the bar/ Burn the pages of unwritten memoirs”).“The best that could be said of LA is, ‘Yeah it’s nice.’ And it is! LA is easy and pleasant. But if you were a person the last thing you’d want someone to say about you is: ‘She’s nice!’”

On ‘Daddy’s Home’, Clark writes about a past derelict New York; a place Los Angeles would suffocate in. “The idea of New York, the art that came out of it, and my living there,” she says. “I’ve not given up my card. I don’t feel in any way ready to renounce my New York citizenship. I bought an apartment so I didn’t have to.” Her down-and-out New York is one a true masochist would love, and it’s sleazy in excess. Sleaze is usually the thing men flaunt at a woman’s expense. In 2021, the proverbial Daddy in the title is Clark. But there’s also a literal Daddy. He came home in the winter of 2019.

On the title track, Clark sings about “inmate 502”: her father. He was sentenced to 12 years in prison for his involvement in a $43m stock fraud scheme. He went away in May 2010. Clark reacted by writing her third breakthrough album ‘Strange Mercy’ in 2011; inspired not just by her father’s imprisonment but the effects it had on her life.“I mean it was rough stuff,” she says. “It was a fuck show. Absolutely terrible. Gut-wrenching. Like so many times in life, music saved me from all kinds of personal peril. I was angry. I was devastated. There’s a sort of dullness to incarceration where you don’t have any control. It’s like a thud at the basement of your being. So I wrote all about it,” she says.

Back then, she was aloof about meaning. In an interview we did that year, she called from a hotel rooftop in Phoenix and was fried from analytical questions. She excused her lack of desire to talk about ‘Strange Mercy’ as a means of protecting fans who could interpret it at will. Really she was protecting an audience closer to home. It’s clear now that the title track is about her father’s imprisonment (“Our father in exile/ For God only knows how many years”). Clark’s parents divorced when she was a child, and they have eight children in their mixed family, some of whom were very young when ‘Strange Mercy’ came out. She explains this discretion now as her method of sheltering them.

“I am protective of my family,” she says. “It didn’t feel safe to me. I disliked the fact that it was taken as malicious obfuscations. No.” Clark wanted to deal with the family drama in art but not in press. She managed to remain tight-lipped until she became the subject of a different intrusion. As St. Vincent’s star continued to rocket, Clark found herself in a relationship with British model Cara Delevingne from 2014 to 2016, and attracted celebrity tabloid attention. Details of her family’s past were exposed. The Daily Mail came knocking on her sister’s door in Texas, where Clark is from.

“Luckily I’m super tight with my family and the Daily Mail didn’t find anybody who was gonna sell me out,” she says. “They were looking for it. Clark girls are a fucking impenetrable force. We will cut a bitch.”

Four years later, Clark gets to own the narrative herself in the medium that’s most apt: music. “The story has evolved. I’ve evolved. People have grown up. I would rather be the one to tell my story,” she says, ruminating on the misfortune that this was robbed from her: a story that writes itself. “My father’s release from prison is a great starting point, right?” Between tours and whenever she could manage, Clark would go and visit him in prison and would be signing autographs in the visitation room for the inmates, who all followed her success with every album release, press clipping and late night TV spot. She joked to her sisters that she’d become the belle of the ball there. “I don’t have to make that up,” she says.

There’s an ease to Clark’s interview manner that hasn’t existed before. She seems ready not just to discuss her father’s story, but to own certain elements of herself. “Hell where can you run when the outlaw’s inside you,” she sings on the title track, alluding to her common traits with her father. “I’ve always had a relationship with my dad and a good one. We’re very similar,” she says. “The movies we like, the books, he liked fashion. He’s really funny, he’s a good time.” Her father’s release gave Clark and her brothers and sisters permission to joke. “The title, ‘Daddy’s Home’ makes me laugh. It sounds fucking pervy as hell. But it’s about a real father ten years later. I’m Daddy now!”

The question of who’s fathering who is a serious one, but it’s also not serious. Clark wears the idea of Daddy as a costume. She likes to play. She joins today’s Zoom in a pair of sunglasses wider than her face and a silk scarf framing her head. The sunglasses come off, and the scarf is a tool for distraction. She ties it above her forehead, attempts a neckerchief, eventually tosses it aside. Clark can only be earnest for so long before she seeks some mischief. She doesn’t like to stay in reality for extensive periods. “I like to create a world and then I get to live in it and be somebody new every two or three years,” she says. “Who wants to be themselves all the time?”

‘Daddy’s Home‘ began in New York at Electric Lady studios before COVID hit and was finished in her studio in LA. She worked on it with “my friend Jack” [Jack Antonoff, producer for Lana Del Rey, Lorde, Taylor Swift]. Antonoff and Clark worked on ‘Masseduction’ and found a winning formula, pushing Clark’s guitar-orientated electronic universe to its poppiest maximum, without compromising her idiosyncrasies. “We’re simpatico. He’s a dream,” she says. “He played the hell outta instruments on this record. He’s crushing it on drums, crushing it on Wurlitzer.” The pair let loose. They began with ‘The Holiday Party’, one of the warmest tracks Clark’s ever written. It’s as inviting as a winter fireplace, stoked by soulful horns, acoustic guitar and backing singers. “Every time they sang something I’d say, ‘Yeah but can you do it sleazier? Make your voice sound like you’ve been up for three days.” Clark speaks of an unspoken understanding with Antonoff as regards the vibe: “Familiar sounds. The opposite of my hands coming out of the speaker to choke you till you like it. This is not submission. Just inviting. I can tell a story in a different way.”

The entire record is familiar, giving the listener the satisfaction that they’ve heard the songs before but can’t quite place them. It’s a satisfying accompaniment to a pandemic that encouraged nostalgic listening. Clark was nostalgic too. She reverted to records she enjoyed with her father: Stevie Wonder’s catalogue from the 1970s (‘Songs In The Key Of Life’, ‘Innervisions’, ‘Talking Book’) and Steely Dan. “Not to be the dude at the record store but it’s specifically post-flower child idealism of the ’60s,” she explains. “It’s when it flipped into nihilism, which I much prefer. Pre disco, pre punk. That music is in me in a deep way. It’s in my ears.”

On ‘The Melting Of The Sun’ she has a delicious time creating a psychedelic Pink Floyd odyssey while exploring the path tread by her heroes Marilyn Monroe, Joni Mitchell, Joan Didion and Nina Simone. It’s a series of beautiful vignettes of brilliant women who were met with a hostile environment. Clark considers what they did to overcome that. “I’m thanking all these women for making it easier for me to do it. I hope I didn’t totally let them down.” Clark is often the only woman sharing a stage with rock luminaries such as Dave Grohl, Damon Albarn and David Byrne, and has appeared to have shattered a male-centric glass ceiling. She’s unsure she’s doing enough to redress the imbalance. “There are little things I can do and control,” she says of hiring women on her team. “God! Now I feel like I should do more. What should I do? It’s a big question. You know what I have seen a lot more from when I started to now? Girls playing guitar.”

If one woman reinvented the guitar in the past decade, it’s Clark. Behind her is a rack of them. The pandemic has taken her out of the wild in which she’s accustomed to tantalising audiences at night with her displays of riffing and heel-balancing. Instead, she’s chained to her desk. Her obsession with heels in the lyrics of ‘Daddy’s Home’ she reckons may be a reflection of her nights performing ‘Masseduction’ in thigh highs. “I made sure that nothing I wore was comfortable,” she recalls. “Everything was about stricture and structure and latex. I had to train all the time to make sure I could handle it.” Is she taking the heels off when live shows return? “Absofuckinglutely not.”

Clark is interested in the new generation. She’s recently tweeted about Arlo Parks and has become a big fan of Russian singer-songwriter Kate NV. “I’m obsessed with Russia,” she says. In a recent LA Times profile, she professed to a pandemic intellectual fixation on Stalin. “Yeah! I mean right now my computer is propped up on stuff. You are sitting on The Gulag Archipelago, The Best Short Stories Of Dostoyevsky andThe Plays Of Chekhov. I’m kinda in it.” The pop world interests Clark, too. She was credited with a co-write on Swift’s 2019 album ‘Lover’. At last year’s Grammys she performed a duet with Dua Lipa. It was one of the queerest performances the Grammys has ever aired. Clark interrupts.

“What about it seemed queer?!”

You know… The lip bite, for one!

“Wait. Did she bite her lip?”

No, you bit your lip.

“I did?!”

Everyone was talking about it. Come on, Annie.

“Serious? I…”

You both waltzed around each other with matching hairdos, making eyes…

“I have no memory of it.”

Frustrating as it may be in a world of too much information, Clark’s lack of willingness to overanalyse every creative decision she makes or participates in is something to treasure. “I want to be a writer who can write great songs,” she says. “I’m so glad I can play guitar and fuck around in the studio to my heart’s desire but it’s about what you can say. What’s a great song? What lyric is gonna rip your guts open. Just make great shit! That’s where I was with this record. That’s all I wanna do with my life.”

More than a decade into St. Vincent, Clark doesn’t reflect. She looks strictly forward. “I’m like a horse with blinders,” she says. She did make an exception to take stock lately when the phone rang. “I saw a +44 and that gets me excited,” she says. “Who could this be?” Well, who was it? “Paul McCartney,” she says, in disbelief. “Anything I’ve done, any mistake I’ve made, somehow it’s forgiven, assuaged. I did something right in my life if a fucking Beatle called me.”

Now there’s a get out of jail free card if ever she needed one.

Daddy’s Home by St. Vincent is out May 14, 2021.

#‘I HAVE NO MEMORY OF IT’#LOOOOOL #WHY ARE U LIKE THIS #st vincent #full of shit #annie clark #Annie Clark on beds #yellow is the color for dull ache of bad penetration?

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365days365movies · 4 years

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March 17, 2021: Darby O’Gill and the Little People (1959) (Part One)

Éirinn go Brách! Ireland forever!

Who doesn’t love St. Patrick’s Day? Other than snakes, I guess. Although, for the record, that’s never made any sense. There have NEVER been snakes in Ireland, like, at any point in the geological record. And yeah, I know, “that’s because St. Patrick chased them all away”. Yeah, OK, whatever, hand me a green beer (or a Shamrock Shake; either works for me, gonna be honest).

This is the day where everybody in the USA is an honorary Irish person. And this is coming from a Black dude with distant Scottish ancestry, don’t ask about that last part THAT’S WHERE THE DARK HISTORY IS

...Slavery. ANYHOOOOOOOOOO

Every major city in the USA has a St. Paddy’s Day celebration. Chicago colors its river green, NYC has a massive parade, Boston gets FUCKING DESTROYED every March 17. It’s an American tradition. And you may be wondering why I’m talking about the USA, instead of talking about Ireland. Well, uh...I’m not Irish. And I don’t know enough about their SPD rituals to comment accurately, so I’ll erring on the side of caution, to be honest with you.

Plus, given today’s movie, I actually think it’s somewhat fitting that I’m talking about the American perspective of Irish folklore and traditions. So, with that said...leprechauns.

In Irish folklore, the leipreachán is...barely a thing in early mythology. Yeah, the first appearance of the leprechaun was in a medieval story called Echtra Fergus mac Léti, where a man named Fergus is nearly dragged into the water by three leprechauns, who are water spirits, and tricks them into giving him three wishes. So, uh...WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?

Well, whatever it was, the leprechaun eventually transformed into the green-wearing, gold-hoarding, shoe-fixing, prankster sprite that we know it as. In Irish folklore, it’s one of many MANY different spirits and supernatural beings, but it’s one of the only ones that made it over to the USA. And BOY DID IT. Other than Lucky from Lucky Charms, you’ve also got Warwick Davis’ horror movie version.

There’s also the mascot for the Boston Celtics and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, not to mention the less-than-great borderline racist association with Irish people by assholes. Honestly, it’s not even borderline. But despite that, it’s still an internationally well-known part of Irish folklore. And part of that renown lies in today’s film, Darby O’Gill and the Little People.

I really should watch more live-action Disney movies one of these years, but this was always going to be the first. A friend of mine always talks about this movie, alongside the film The Happiest Milionaire. You know who you are. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. ALLIGATORS.

But OK, let’s get into it! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We begin in Rathcullen, a small town in Ireland. A young woman named Katie O’Gill (Janet Munro) is visited by an old woman, the widow Sheelah Sugrue (Estelle Winwood), who impresses upon her the need to get married, as she’s a young woman, and that’s all you can do as a young woman in this time period, other than cleaning house and raising children, of course.

Katie’s a catch, and the talk of the boys of the town, but hasn’t chosen anyone in particular to be wooed by. As they’re having this conversation, the household is visited by Lord Fitzpatrick (Walter Fitzgerald), who’s come to look for her father, the eponymous Darby O’Gill (Albert Sharpe). She goes to get him, as he’s at the inn telling stories. Fitzpatrick walks around the estate, which is his. Darby and Katie simply mind it. When Fitzpatrick comes in, he speaks with widow Sugrue, who IMMEDIATELY BAD TALKS AND BETRAYS THE O’GILLS, in order to promote her own son! FUCK OFF MS. SUGRUE YOU’RE A BAD FRIEND

Her son, Pony Sugrue (Kieron Moore) is a strapping young man, a known brawer, and...well, kind of a dick. In the pub, Darby’s telling stories of a leprechaun that he met once, and Pony mocks him for it. The bartender tells him off, and tells Darby to continue his story. And the story turns into a flashback soon enough.

On a dark night, on a mist-covered mountain, Darby is speaking with the king of the leprechauns, Brian O’Connor (Jimmy O’Dea), having trapped him there with naught but his gaze. He forces Brian to give him three wishes, and he’ll let him go. The wishes are first for his health, then for a large crop of potatoes, and finally, of course, a pot of gold.

However, King Brian asks for his fourth wish, and claims to be a generous man. He asks for three additional pots of gold for three friends. However, this was a trick, as making a fourth wish undoes the rest of them all together. This ends the story, as King Brian does a merry jig and all that. One of the friends that Darby wished for says that he’d never accept the gold, as it comes from the devil himself. Darby says that he’d donate it to the church in his stead.

But that’s a little awkward, considering the presence of Father Murphy (Denis O’Dea), who’s actually there to get some help in carrying a new bell for the parish. Pony offers his services, but only for cash. Kind of a dick, that Pony. Murphy changes tactics, and kinda manipuates Darby into doing it. But just then, Katie comes in to tell Darby of Fitzpatrick’s visit, and hauls him away from the pub. On the Fitzpatrick estate, the Lord gives a tour to the replacement for Darby, one Michael McBride (Sean Conn...noooo...it can’t be.)

HOLY SHIT IT’S SEAN CONNERY! He was in a Disney movie? Holy shit! And this is before James Bond! So, before playing an English spy, he played an Irishman...and he’s Scottish. Dude, did Connery ever actually play a Scotsman in his career, what the hell?

OK, so Darby and Katie are basically getting kicked out, with Michael set to replace them. After some negotiation of retirement terms, Darby agrees, but doesn’t tell Katie right away. She was born in the house that they’re now being forced to move out of, in about two weeks time. In that time, Michael will stay with them to smooth the transition fully. That night, after dinner, Michael pleads with Darby to tell Katie, but he’s still putting it off for now. Darby goes to his horse, Cleopatra, and heads up a mountain, back to where King Brian was first seen. Cleopatra runs away, though, and Darby goes up the mountain alone. When he catches up to Cleopatra, she’s already at the summit, next to a well glowing gold. And then, uh...she starts to glow.

Cleopatra rears up, and Darby falls to the bottom of the well, which is where he’s found by the eponymous “Little People”, who take him to King Brian himself. There’s a dance going on in front of a large golden throne, with all of the little people in attendance, and King Brian playing a giant bagpipe on the throne itself.

Darby is welcomed in by the king, and allowed to survey the various treasures collected by the little people. The throne, fun fact, once belonged to the throne of King Fergus, from the original myth that originated the leprechaun! Very cool! However, that’s tempered by the new information that he can never leave. This was apparently a favor by King Brian, for spreading the stories of the leprechauns throughout the town, and bringing them fame. This was all meant to prevent Katie from finding out about Darby losing his job.

Seeing that Darby’s upset, King Brian offers him a chance to play a Stradivarius violin, which Darby reluctantly accepts. He plays “The Fox Chase”, a lively tune that’s genuinely quite fun and pleasant to listen to. The little people agree, and dance along with the music as Darby plays. The whole sequence is actually quite impressive and fun. Then, Darby shouts “Gone away”, prompting the lot of them to go on a fox chase on their own tiny horses, in a VERY impressive shot! Seriously, it’s very cool, considering that this is from 1959!

The little folk, tricked by Darby’s music, leave the lair of Knockasheega on the mountain, leaving Darby alone. He attempts to steal some of their gold, then takes off out of the mountain, escaping the lair. But holes in his pockets cause all the gold to fall out, leaving him with nothing. He finds Cleopatra waiting outside for him, then the two head home once and for all.

Fully expecting Brian to find him again, he prepares for his arrival. Sure enough, King Brian shows up, angry that Darby seems to have spurned his good favor. But Darby, ever the suave talker himself, once again tricks King Brian into drinking an alcohol called poitín, which is also called Mountain Dew. Which is amazing.

As Darby and King Brian Do the Dew, Darby gets King Brian to participate in a singing and rhyming game, called the Wishing Song. And honestly...I’m having a really good fucking time with this movie. It’s folksy, and very heartwarming in tone for whatever reason. I’m just having a real good time with it, y’know?

So, Darby gets Brian good and sozzled, distracting him entirely until the morning. See, in the daylight, leprechauns lose their powers entirely. Darby, decisively with the upper hand as well, uses his cat Ginger to trap Brian. Trapped once again, Brian agrees to grant Darby three more wishes. Having anticipated this, Darby uses his first to make King Brian stay with him while he decides on his wishes. And, to fully ensure that the little king goes nowhere, Darby produces a sack, which he puts the leprechaun in, before shoving him into a chest in the barn.

Great place to pause, so we can start the second half! See you there!

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writingsorrantings · 4 years

Text

Friends Don’t Look at Friends That Way Pt2 (jj x reader)

Word Count: Around 1,300 (sorry!lol)

Warnings: Alcohol mentions, angst

Music Rec: One Way St. - Jhene Aiko (just a good song and is mentioned in the chapter :)

Part One

Recap: “And with that JJ laid back again and you found yourself in his arms. It wasn’t right, but you could get used to the way it felt even though you wanted more.”

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It had been about a week since that night, but your head was still as clouded. JJ hadn’t called you once which was definitely not your style and it was beginning to worry you. Is he ok? Or maybe I was too forward?

Maybe he just doesn’t want to be around you anymore.

You shook your head as a half-assed attempt to put a stop to the self-deprecating thoughts and instead focused on the music playing through your headphones as you came home from work, but that proved to be less than helpful. “Going the wrong way down a one way street.” Jhene couldn’t have said it better and frankly you felt like a semi carrying a shit ton of rejection and hurt was barreling towards you, no evidence of it slowing down and ready for a head on collision. Bracing before a crash, emotional or otherwise, had never been your specialty. You already felt like shit and you couldn’t imagine what would happen if he actually talked to you about it. You had never been one for confrontation, but he had left you on read for a week now and you were going nuts trying to figure out what you did.

Your feet hit the pavement in a slow rhythm, but as you began to think about what he was doing (or not doing) your pace began to pick up. At this point you were angry, how could he be so childish?! You were just trying to talk to him and he didn’t even bother looking at the last message! That really hurt your feelings and you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes. Fuck him then. Your shoes hit your colorful doormat as you entered your house prepared to look the hottest you had ever looked for the kegger tonight. Walking into the kitchen you quickly grabbed the bottle of vodka from your parents cabinet knowing that they wouldn’t miss it and marched up your stairs. One thing was for sure, you didn’t need JJ to have fun. Or at least that’s what you told yourself.

Unfortunately JJ’s thoughts were just as scattered. It was only 2 in the afternoon and he had already begun pregaming for the celebration tonight, but then again it might have just been a happy coincidence. He stared at the texts you had sent him and all he could do is run a hand over his face only pausing to take a gulp of the beer in his hand.

“wanna surf tom?” --read 8:02am

“????” --read 8:23pm

“you good?” --read 7:48am

“just talk to me” --read 10:47am

“what did i do” -- delivered fri 4:30

read sun 10:23

Fuck. He didn’t want to hurt her so he kept his distance, yet he still managed to make her feel bad. Once again this proved to himself that he was just a walking disaster. He knew by Saturday night that if he didn’t back away now it would just get so much worse. John B. came home the morning after to JJ huddled in the blue sheets of his spare room, eyes rimmed with red and for once it wasn’t from smoking. After hauling him out of bed and forcing him to take a shower, John B. questioned him over breakfast that JJ had tried to refuse multiple times. A text from you lit up his screen, and his face immediately dropped. He was a fucking wreck and anyone who saw him could figure it out. He loved you. There was no point in denying it now, especially to John B. A boy who spent years trying to convince his best friend that he was a good person who deserved a healthy, happy love. Needless to say, he still wasn’t successful despite his efforts.

“She makes you so happy dude, I mean we can all see it. You are so damn happy. She makes you do things that you would never think of doing and you love it….She...She makes you think before you act because you know that it would destroy her if anything happened to you. For once you actually give a shit about your future and that’s because of her!”

By this point John B. was almost yelling as he had no clue how else to get it through his head that you loved each other.

Calming down he said, “ I mean really...is this what you want? Because you deserve better than this….She deserves better than this.”

Not a single muscle in his face moved when he stood up from the chair, the screech from the legs rubbing on the ground echoing as the sentence hung in the air. A part of JJ knew John B. was right, but ultimately he would never risk your happiness to make room for his own.

“Thanks for the breakfast.”

Feet padding against the wooden floor, JJ made his exit right into the room he came from, no regard for what his best friend had said. With a huff John B. decided that this was a battle he’d fight another day and left to go see Sarah. When the door slammed shut, tears fell from JJ’s eyes. It’s ok if he thought he was stupid, at the end of the day JJ was doing what he thought would help you.

Night was approaching and you were ready as ever for tonight’s festivities to begin. Kie had come over and you were screaming the words to various songs as you guys got ready for the night. It didn’t take you long as you both were never huge fans of full glam looks, but could appreciate it on other people. As you checked yourself out in the mirror you couldn’t help but smile. You were all for body positivity, but you were never a super skinny girl and sometimes that made you insecure. But today. Today you loved the way your curves filled out your too short cut offs. Between that, Kie’s halter top, and the layered necklace that fell perfectly in the middle of the deep v neckline, you were irresistible. Kie grabbed your hand and pulled you downstairs as you headed out for the party.

The dull thumps from the speakers began to get louder as you guys approached in the car and before you knew it you were parked and ready to get out, fingers wrapped around the silver handle. This was a mistake. Although it was just a flash of trepidation, Kiara had seen it and asked, “(y/n), you ok?” and frankly you had no clue. Were you ok? I mean no you weren’t and you definitely wouldn’t be tonight, but did you need to worry her. The silence was answer enough for her and she studied your face.

“We don’t have to go y’know. I’m ok with not going and I can just tell the guys we hungout all night?”

“No, no it’s ok. It’s just...JJ hasn’t been talking to me lately and I don’t know why, but to be honest I think I do, but I don’t want to think that way.”

Kie stared at you waiting for you to continue with a slight nod to show she was listening. After a moment of hesitation, you turned your body so that your open back was no longer against the leather seat and your knees were pointed at her despite how small the car was. Even though you were facing her, your eyes refused to meet hers as you focused on chipping away at your nail polish while you spoke.

“I..I just...we had a moment last saturday. I mean I thought we did and I think I like him and...and I think he knows and is just avoiding me until he finds the right way to reject me. He just kept leaving me on read and I figured the best revenge was to look great tonight. But honestly, I guess I just wanted to make him realize that I can be more than a friend.”

Kie had had enough. JJ was acting like a dumbass and she wasn’t going to let him hurt her friend. You are the sweetest person that she knows and you deserved a guy who would give you the same effort that you always gave others. She began to smile as she started planning the rest of your night in her head and she was going to make sure you had the time of your life. She reached into the backseat and handed you the bottle you had snagged earlier and after spinning the top off you took your first of many shots that night.

“You deserve to have a good night. Without JJ. Let’s fucking do this.”

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Part 3

Sorry to leave you guys on another cliffhanger I hate it when writers do it lol! But honestly thank you guys so much for all of the messages that you have sent me and all of the likes that you have left on part one. It was my first ever fanfic so it felt super good to see that you guys enjoyed it. I am going to start working on part 3 right after I post this, but idk if I will stop the story with that part. I’m new to this so let me know if you want to be on a taglist of if you have any requests for any character from any show. I’m not picky! Anyways love you all and I hope you’re staying safe.

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank imagines #jj maybank imagine #obx imagine #obx imagines

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kurlyfrasier · 4 years

Text

Spaghetti Girl (Part 2/3)

Dean x Reader

Synopsis: Ok so I had a really good description but lost it so.....yeah. Can’t think of words right now. Will add synopsis later...This is one of my favorite SPN fanfics I’ve written, so please read!

Word Count: 1790

Warnings: none

You had no idea Dean had a tender smile playing on his lips as he watched you dance. If one could really call it dancing. But it was good exercise and ten times more fun than your everyday workout routine your doctor had you on in an attempt to keep your symptoms down.

Speaking of which, you would have to tell the boys you needed to split for a couple of weeks to go for your check-up, refill your meds, and probably get your yearly MRI done. The thought had you unknowingly stop dancing mid-song, a frown marred your features. How would you go about telling Dean you suddenly had to leave? You had no family, none who were blood related, anyway. They were the only hunters you really knew, so you couldn’t claim you were visiting another hunter. Maybe you could tell him you found a simple case. No need for them to come along. Maybe you could slip away. It’s not like Dean would really notice. He had made it clear he doesn’t like you anyway.

Snapping your fingers, you strode out of the room, deciding that you’d tell Sam you would be gone for a couple of weeks and slip away that night with Dean none the wiser. Perfect! Then Sam could tell Dean you had to leave for whatever reason. That was, if he even noticed you were gone. For now, you would pack and find Sam.

Packing took less than ten minutes. You had decided to only take the essentials, a couple of books, and your trusty weapons duffell that barely left your side, just in case. You decided not to worry about your missing Nicholas Sparks book. You could always buy another one anyway. Sam, on the other hand, took a few minutes to find. When you did find him, you were surprised to see him in the kitchen. Alone.

“I thought Dean was making dinner?” You asked, slowly stepping into the room, eyes roaming for Dean, worried he would pop out any second and ask questions you didn’t want to answer. There was no way you could lie through one of his interrogations. The mouthwatering aroma of beef and red sauce didn’t even penetrate your senses, you were so nervous.

“Uh, he was,” Sam looked over his shoulder and continued when he didn’t see Dean with you. “He is, really. He had to step out for a sec. Looks like he made our famous Winchester Pasta Sauce too,” he smiled. Maybe he could help his brother out a little. He did seem a bit desperate earlier.

“Oh good. About him stepping out, I mean. And the sauce. Sounds delicious,” you babbled. Taking a deep breath, you continued. “Anyway, Sam.”

“Yeah?”

“I gotta leave tonight. I, uh, have someplace I have to be. Is it okay if I leave most of my stuff here?”

“Yeah that’s fine. Y/n, you know you’re welcome anytime and that room will always be yours, right? You’ve been here for a few months now. I was hoping you were thinking of this place as your home.”

“Yeah, yeah. It is. I just wanted to make sure, thanks.” You hoped he wouldn’t ask any questions as you awkwardly stood there, rubbing your hands up and down your hips. A sad attempt at wiping the sweat off your clammy palms. That happened when you were nervous… or lying. Or anytime you felt distressed, really.

“So, where are you going?”

“Denver,” you lied. You were actually going to St. Louis, but you didn’t want Sam to have to lie to Dean. This way if he asks or goes looking for you -which would happen with your luck- Dean won’t find out what’s really going on. Then he’ll never know about your neuromuscular problem and you’ll be able to continue hunting with them. You knew it was stupid, really. You knew hunting wasn’t the smartest thing to be doing with your disease. Not smart at all actually, but you felt like you were really helping people and that felt good. Nothing was going to keep you from ganking creeps and killers if you had any say in the matter. Not even the Winchesters. Luckily you caught the disease early on, so for now, your symptoms haven’t completely disabled you. Make things difficult? Yes. But you haven’t gotten to the point where your limbs don’t listen at all.

“So, why Denver?”

“Change of scenery,” you shrugged. “I like the Rockies. It’ll be a nice vacation and Dean won’t have to be on his toes around me all the time.”

“I don’t think Dean minds having you around, y/n.”

“It’s okay, Sam, really. Some people just don’t click, ya know?” Even though you had wished that Dean would notice you. Or at least talk to you. Or that you would grow on him over time, like asparagus. Nobody really likes asparagus the first few times they try them.

“You gonna leave after dinner?”

“Yeah, tonight. After you guys go to bed.”

“No goodbye, huh?” Sam chuckled.

“This is my goodbye, Tallboy,” you smacked him playfully on the arm. “I just figured Dean isn’t going to care one way or the other. So instead of making him wish me luck and say goodbye, I’ll just slip out.” You smiled sadly. You think Dean and yourself would get along well if he gave you the chance. You both love classic rock and you’re both great hunters. He always makes you laugh when he deigns to tell jokes in front of you. Not that he ever tells you the jokes. “Besides,” you continued, “I’ll only be gone a couple of weeks.”

Around the corner in the hallway, Dean’s heart sank to the pit of his stomach. You were leaving. You were leaving that night and you weren’t going to tell him goodbye. Had he really made you think that little of him?

He had followed you to your room earlier, watched you pack and wondered what for. Now he knew.

Without warning he walked into the kitchen as if he had no clue about the conversation. “Hey.”

“You’re back,” Sam stated the obvious, noticing immediately something was wrong, but kept silent about it as he moved away from the stove. “Uh, I went ahead and added the sauce.”

“Yeah, thanks man.” Dean was furious with you. Not that he had any right to be and he knew it. Which only made it worse. He wanted a nickname. He wanted you to tell him goodbye, for you tell him about your medical stuff. He wanted you to talk to him about books and movies and music and- well, everything. Yet all he had done was make everything worse and now, when he finally decides to show you he wants you- needs you, really- you’re leaving. For two whole weeks. He was going to lose his mind without you around. It was hard enough making you partner with Sam on hunts. At least in those situations he would be within hearing distance. But Denver?

“Spaghetti will be done soon, y/n, if you wanted some,” Dean said, unable to face you.

If you wanted some? Of course you wanted some. There was no way even Dean didn’t know spaghetti was your favorite food of all time. Actually, maybe there was a chance he didn’t know. Considering he always seemed to go out of his way to ignore you.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll go clean up real quick,” you said, slipping out of the kitchen. Sometimes Dean could seriously be frustrating. Maybe it was time you started thinking about leaving the Winchester’s bunker permanently. Obviously only one brother wanted you there, as much as you wished it wasn’t so, and it wasn’t the one in charge.

“That was-”

“A disaster, Sam. A complete and total disaster.”

“Well, as long as you-”

“Know? Yeah, I know. I heard every freakin’ word, Sam. Every. Word.”

“Oh. It’s only for a couple of weeks, Dean.”

“Only!? I’ve already wasted three months! Possibly ruined any chance I have.”

“I doubt that. Y/n’s naturally forgiving. We can come up with a plan while she’s gone. A whole new Dean.” Sam moved his hand in front of him as if he was reading the words in the air.

“Or we could follow her and make up a plan on the way.” Dean poured the sauce in with the noodles and started mixing aggressively.

“Follow her?”

“Yeah. To Denver.”

“You mean St. Louis.”

“No,” Dean shook his head. “I mean Denver. That’s what she said.”

“Yeah, but she was lying. You’d know that if you were in the room with us earlier. There’s no way she’s going to Denver.”

“We’ll talk about this later,” Dean whisper-hissed as he heard you walking their direction from down the hall.

~~~~~~~~~~

Both Winchesters were sleeping as you tiptoed through the halls. You had put your bags in your old Wrangler while Dean finished up the spaghetti. And by bags, you meant all of them. You were leaving the Winchesters for good. Never to return. You were sad about not telling Sam to his face, but a letter would have to suffice. There was no way you were going to go one more day in Dean’s presence. You have no idea what you ever did to him, but that man really didn’t like you. He only tolerated you because you and Sam got along so well and you knew it. But now you had to get to your check-up with Doc.

“Dean!” Sam yelled, shaking his brother awake. They had decided after dinner to head out after you in the morning. Sam had put a tracking device in your phone the first week you stayed at the bunker. So following you would be easy. “Dean! Wake up! She’s gone. Like gone gone.”

“Gone?” He shot up, clothes still on from yesterday. He didn’t want to waste even a second when they were to head after you.

“Yeah, she left a letter. Dude, she really thinks you hate her.”

“Give me that,” he snatched the paper out of Sam’s hand and sat up to read.

Sam,

I’m sorry, but this is a permanent goodbye. I know we get along splendidly and you make me feel very welcome, but Dean can’t stand me. I’m done making him feel uncomfortable in his own home. For that’s exactly what the bunker is for you guys.

I’ll miss you Tallboy. I hope you both live long lives like you’re meant to because the world would be nothing without you guys. Be careful out there. Maybe someday we’ll meet up again.

Thanks for everything,

Y/n

P.S. Let me know if you find my book

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Part 3

#fanfic #spn fanfic #dean x reader #my writing #dean #sam #winchester #i hate tags #hopefully you gave part one a chance lol

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delta-magnetic · 3 years

Text

soooo i might've been thinking about a certain some ask game again and decided, fuck it ima answer all the questions that im actually able to lol

i've done 5, 16 and 17 already but to add onto the latter two:

16. here's another 3 because yes- Welcome Home (Sanitarium), Ronnie, and Dirty Window

17. I HAVE MORE NOW BITCHES. now have Master of Puppets, Load and Death Magnetic! AND Cunning Stunts!

alright rest under a cut lol you know i love to ramble

1. (fun fact this question is why i was thinking about this again lol) AAAAAA i shall say, lars! i'm sure meeting any of them i'd be nervous/a little awkward, but i think lars would do best at diffusing that. plus getting to hear him go on and on about whatever, in person?? yes please

2. i have made, shitposts galore (and also 2 uquiz's, the most recent one actually being all around good lol)

3. also thought abt this one a few times since seeing it hmmm, a few come to mind, but you know what i think would be fun? struggle within on drums. i'm sure that intro is a recorded thing if/when it's ever done live, but lets just imagine. plus for me personally? i know i literally have a guitar in my room, but drums seem fun, and when i think drums + metallica, besides some of the obvious answers (one, master of puppets), this song is what i think

6. i'm sure most would go for ultimullet here, but you know what i'm gonna pick? 2019 james. i always want to put my hands in his hair but like, something about '19,,, soft old man ilu

7. i have not seen it! though i've heard it's good, might have to watch it someday

8. definitely museum with lars. dude loves art and would just be giving out insight galore! not bendy or strong enough for kirk or rob, and while i love james and also taking walks, i would be slow and idk if he'd wait up for me fjkdblsksnj

9. holy shit there are, so many... could go for any of the songs from Load yet to be played live tbh, but my answer shall be Devils Dance!

10. i'll admit, haven't listened to all of garage inc yet, but i really like Die, Die My Darling!

11. again haven't heard many of these, but omf their cover of 53rd and 3rd is [chefs kiss]

12. maybe an obvious answer, but st anger. it's weird, i really like the first half of it off the album, but then after that??? eh?? but live puts some of that missing, emotion?, into the 2nd half i'm wanting (plus yknow, SOLO !!!!)

14. oh lort. again, so many. im srry i cannot pick kjnfsdbkj, but i will say i know i'd pick somewhere in missouri! which seems kinda lame, but getting to say i've seen metallica in my home state would be pretty cool

15. you're tearing me apart dude!! i know it's a pretty typical answer, but black album! i wouldn't even call it my favorite album, but sound wise? definite favorite

18. i don't have much, but i really do live in that master of puppets shirt. it's comfy, one of my friends bought it for me because i didn't bring any money (not expecting to want to buy anything lol), and it was my first metallica thing i ever owned!

20. tickets to a show, i cross out but tbh, it's true! other than maybe s&m (1 or 2), yea collecting is cool but i'm not chomping at the bit to own every single album actually! wanna have the ones i'll actually listen to regularly yknow?

24. tbh lars with any of them would be a treat, but having to concretely pick pairs? lars and james, kirk and rob. lars and james are so many years of friendship, they both always have something neat to say, and having them bounce off each other in an interview would be cool. kirk doesn't speak that often, and i think getting him with rob would get him a little more chatty perhaps

...oh you also asked what i'd ask lol. idk man, especially to lars n james. maybe to kirk and rob i'd ask if either of them like, found new/different artists they liked through each other (since i know they both have pretty varied music tastes)

25. i am answering these all at 1 in the morning, so maybe i'd be able to think a bit more if i did this at a more reasonable time, but either way holyf a lot from Halo On Fire. just to pick one?

I fear to turn on the light // For the darkness won’t go away

26. hmm again, 1 am, head is kiiiinda no thoughts head empty for some reason?? though luckily not too empty, bc just sitting here thinking for a second, Bleeding Me just popped to mind?

27. ooooo, if they were just on their own (not with family or friends) i'd probably try my best to not freak out and just be like "hey i love your music"

...and maybe ask for a hug

28. tbh i want to dress like cliff lmao, but my actual fashion sense? think like, current kirk but if he did not spent 600 bucks on everything and generally toned down a LOT (keep the graphic tees tho)

29. oh i can't remember who said it, but someone said something like, whenever they'd screw something up in the studio, cliff would just, look at them so disappointed njdfsbnkl

30. almost definitely kirk i'd say. i'm super shy, but if you get me talking about something i really like? unlikely to stop

31. YOU ARE MEAN !!!! my answer though, shall be kirk n lars! you want reasons? they're just neat!!!!!!!!

33. nah, if anything just because i don't have any of the social medias they're really on

34. hmm, not that i can think of?? partially because i haven't seen a ton of their inner-workings type deals, and they seem alright

35. just going general here, but memory remains. i just do not like that song for some reason

36. ...you know what idk how long this will even get but this post is already long enough so screw it this is getting it's own post lmao

37. tbh any of the more "moody" songs? like especially older ones, particularly Fade to Black and One. idk even what mood i need to be in to listen to them, but definitely not a regular-casual listening one

38. lowkey made a whole post about this lmao, but for a short answer for here: my uncle playing (the song) master of puppets whenever i was in the truck with him!

39. [looks at all of you very lovingly]

40. oh for sure. a few months ago i was out of town and, not having a good time. and putting on some metallica songs made me feel a lot more at ease

#wpbosting #jfC this was longer than i expected lmao #i figured it'd be long. but huh i guess theres not *that* many i couldnt answer!#just counted and legit only 11 i couldnt at all lol #sorry i didnt include the questions before my answers njkdfbsk

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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 5 years

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Heathers | Sweet Pea

A/N: As I said, I was rewriting Riverdale’s Heathers episode with focus on Sweet Pea and Reader as JD and Veronica Sawyer, and the rehearsals for the musical rather than everything around it (and if it’s the drama around it, it’s drama between Sweet Pea and Y/N). We’ve been robbed of the masterpiece that is Sweet Pea singing Meant To Be Yours. I mean??? That song is amazing in both the off-Broadway and the West End prodcution and Sweet Pea would’ve looked SO HOT singing it and going all completely mental! I did add some characters as friends of Y/N that are part of the musical too since I wanted an appropriate character to play Martha other than Toni (????) who really does not fit the role of Martha Dunnstock. So, I think it’s going to be a six parter and I’ll try to upload one every night at 7pm. (can’t promise anything though) Lemme know if I need to make a taglist and who to put on it! :) Enjoy, kiddos!

Words: 1711

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Y/N

Warnings: cursing, angst

Act one: Freeze Your Brain

Every year we do a different musical at Riverdale High. Last year, we did Carrie, but this year, we’re doing my favorite musical ever: Heathers. If Cheryl Blossom hadn’t claimed the role of Heather Chandler, I would’ve auditioned for it. Mainly so I could yell ‘Shut up, Heather!’ at pretty much any given moment. But I did get the role of Veronica Sawyer which is kind of a more important role than Heather Chandler. I mean, Heather does die quite early on. “I’ve asked Evelyn to step up as co-director,” Kevin Keller, who always directs the musicals, says at our first day of rehearsals. I liked him as director in last year’s play and I think he and Evelyn will be a good team on this year’s musical too. However, Betty Cooper does not agree with that. “Why don’t we introduce ourselves and the parts we’re playing to get Evelyn up to speed with everything?” Cheryl gets up from her chair, clearly wanting to be the first one to go. “I’m Cheryl Blossom and I’m obviously playing Heather Chandler.” I roll my eyes at her. Being ‘theater-nerd’ means not getting along with the popular kids such as Cheryl Blossom and Betty Cooper. It’s not that I hate them, I just don’t want to be friends with them. I mean, it wouldn’t click between us anyway since all I ever do – according to most jocks – is talk and think and dream of musicals. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think they’re assuming I always sing when I speak. Misconceptions about theater kids. “I’m Veronica Lodge, and I play Heather McNamara,” the rich girl with the raven-hair introduces herself. To be honest, Veronica did play Chris in last year’s play and she was honestly amazing. Her voice is to die for. I would ask her to join the drama club, but I’m too scared to. “Betty Cooper, I’m playing the third Heather; Heather Duke.” Then Reggie Mantle clears his throat, clearly wanting to go next, “Reggie, AKA jock Ram Sweeney. Going to bro it up with my bud Arch here. Just two single straight dudes doing some theater.” Once again I have to roll my eyes back at the annoying toxic masculinity-filled jock behind me. “And I play Kurt Kelly,” Archie then says with a small smile. He seems to be annoyed by the antics of his bro. I chuckle at the two boys, earning a glare from them. “You do know Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney are actually fake outed as gay by JD and Veronica, right?” I ask them with an amused smile on my face before turning back to Kevin and Evelyn. “I’m Y/N, and I play the ever so lovely Veronica Sawyer. Outcast, turned Heather, then blowing up my boyfriend.” Margot and Ella, my two best friends from drama club give me a sly grin. They both have the same idea as me; neither one of these guys knows the script yet. “Hi, I’m Sweet Pea,” a guy behind me then says. He’s one of the only Serpents with a vital part in the musical. The other Serpents are part of the ensemble, which is also important. But Sweet Pea’s role is one of the biggest, along with mine. “I play Jason Dean, or JD. Veronica’s bad-boy love interest who apparently blows up?” I turn to look at him and give him a nod that tells him he should believe me when I say Jason Dean gets blown up in the end. My eyes glance down to his neck where his Serpent tattoo prominently decorates his skin. I don’t mind the Serpents as much as the other Northsiders did. I didn’t mind when they transferred to our school whilst others picked on them and nearly got them suspended. I don’t hate them but I’m not friends with them either. I just don’t care. I mind my own business, which is theater most of the time. “I’m Jodie Smiths,” the girl next to Margot says. Jodie is also part of the drama club, but we’re not really great friends. I mean, we tolerate each other, and we do what we’re told when we have to do a scene together. But it’s not like I would invite her for a milkshake at Pop’s after rehearsals. Not like I do with Margot and Ella. “I’m portraying Martha Dunnstock in Heathers.” “Fangs,” another one of the Serpents raising his hand as he speaks up, “Hipster dork.” “Toni,” the girl Serpent then speaks up, “New wave girl.” “I’m Josie,” another Northsider girl goes, “And I’m the republican girl.” “Hi, my name’s Margot and I play the role of Stoner chick.” “And I’m Ella, playing the role of preppy kid.” I give my two best friends a wide smile. I’m proud of both of them for making it into the cast even though most of the popular kids claimed the other roles. A few other Serpents and Northsiders tell Evelyn – and the rest of us – what their role in the ensemble is, but I don’t even listen anymore. I’m too filled up with excitement to get started on my favorite musical ever. And then nerves start kicking in when I think of all the scenes I’ll have to do with Cheryl Blossom, Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge, but mostly the ones with Sweet Pea. I have to make out with Sweet Pea. On stage. “Okay, let’s get started on vocal warm-ups and we’ll sing a few songs from the script to get us started,” Kevin suggests as he claps his hands. “Y/N, Margot, Ella and Jodie, why don’t you guide us through vocal warm-ups?” The four of us nod and get up off our chair, urging the others to do the same. We then teach them the sounds we always make during drama class to warm up. “Good!” Kevin then exclaims when we tell him they’re ready. “Let’s start with Beautiful then. Veronica Sawyer, take it away.” I nod and head up the stage, along with the rest. We don’t know any choreography yet, but it’ll be better if we’re up there to sing the songs. “September 1st, 1989. Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—here we are! First day of senior year! And uh... I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself—what happened?” That’s how Heathers: the musical always starts, and that’s how this adventure starts too. “And you know, you know, you know Life can be beautiful You hope, you dream, you pray And you get your way! Ask me how it feels Lookin' like hell on wheels... My God, it's beautiful! I might be beautiful... And when you're beautiful... It's a beautiful frickin' day!” I belt out the last note just like Barret Wilbert Weed does on the cast recording of the Broadway show. I feel like Barret Wilbert Weed or any other Broadway actress I’ve looked up to since I was a child. The ensemble belts out their last note too, getting Kevin, Evelyn and Sweet Pea up on their feet and clapping. I’m not entirely sure whether it’s just for me or for the entire cast, but it still gives me a wicked feeling of pride. “Y/N! I was obsessed with everything you put in that performance!” Evelyn exclaims when the clapping had died down. “Damn, girl! I’m so glad we casted you!” I can hear Betty scoff behind me, but I don’t care. All I care about is that they liked what I did with the song. Even though it’s just what I always do in my shower when I sing that song at the top of my lungs. “Yes! And ensemble was good too!” Kevin then adds to give them some compliments too. “Let’s just go in order of songs, so Candy Store next!” he informs, so I get off the stage and grab my water bottle to drink. I just have one line to say, but no singing in this song, sadly enough. I only go back on when Fight For Me is on and stay on for Freeze Your Brain. I hadn’t heard Sweet Pea yet as this song is his first one in the whole show. “I've been through ten high schools They start to get blurry No point planting roots 'Cause you're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den” My eyes widen a little when his voice chimes through the auditorium. He has a nice singing voice. Pleasant to listen to. Very soothing. “Care for a hit?” he asks, spoken this time, but still part of the song. It takes me away from my thoughts about how good his voice is. “Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?” I shoot back, and then he goes back into singing. My breath hitches in my throat when his voice grows louder and the notes get higher, but he hits them perfectly. I figured he could sing a bit since he got cast as JD, but I didn’t expect him to be this good. My knees even buckle a little at the way he sings ‘Veronica Sawyer’. All of a sudden, the boy becomes more attractive to me than he already was. I mean, he’s not bad looking, but the fact that he can hit all of those notes makes him twice as attractive. He makes me jump out of my thoughts when his voice grows softer and more vulnerable. “Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...” His eyes meet mine when he goes, “Try it,” in a spoken voice, just like Ryan McCartan who sings it in the off-Broadway version. Then applause bursts from the auditorium, making me jump a little. I had almost forgotten we were still in rehearsals. “Damn, you’re good,” I mumble, and hope he doesn’t hear. But judging from the little smirk that pulls at the corner of his mouth, I think he has. From that moment on, I knew this musical was going to change things in my life. Whether it was making new friends or playing the role of my dreams, it will change everything.

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takkforaltijd · 4 years

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"I really had no idea what to expect from this evening" 2/2

Okay here's part two. A few things beforehand, did you know that Lucas is actually attending a Waldorf school in skamnl! Namely the St-Gregorius College in Utrecht! So I put this into the story. I also have no idea what the translation of "borrelnootje" is. It is a peanut with a kind of crispy layer around it. Here a picture haha. So I just called it crispy nuts.

Jens is home alone the weekend and has asked Lucas if he would like to come. Friday has arrived and the two have not talked about it. Jens sends a message if Lucas still wants to come over.

Also an evening with cards, drinks, good conversations and a first kiss. ———————————————————————

Jens zipped up his jacket and went to the front door. He felt in the pocket of his jacket for his bicycle key, but he was not in it.

"Fuck where's my key," Jens thought. He ran to his bedroom and looked at his desk. The key was not there. He looked quickly through his room, but he was nowhere to be seen.

He hurried to the kitchen, almost falling down the stairs on the way. Had he thrown it there when he got home? The key was not on the kitchen table, nor on the counter.

"You've got to be kidding me" the boy thought. He even checked the pantry to see if he had left it there, but the key was nowhere to be seen.

Jens's last hope was that he hadn't locked his bike at all. Then it was praying that he was still there.

"My god I'm such a idiot" Jens thought when he saw his bike with the key in the lock. How long had this taken? Almost five minutes?! Jens jumped on the bike towards the harbor. Why was he so extremely chaotic? He just couldn’t come on time.

...

When he arrived at the harbor, Lucas was already there.

"Sorry I lost my key. I really went all over the house to find it, but apparently my bike was not locked at all…” Jens said a bit breathless from cycling.

Lucas could only laugh. "I think this can really only happen to you"

Lucas might be right about that, Jens thought. "I am the absolute master of chaotic people," Jens said back with raised eyebrows and a cheeky smile.

The boys got on their bikes and headed for his house.

...

“We'll put the bike in the back, that's easier” the boys cycled through a narrow alley and not much later they were behind Jens's house.

"Well, here I live." The boys parked their bikes and walked in. Jens took off his shoes and hung his coat on the overfull coat rack. He saw Lucas look with a look that said, "there is no possibility that my jacket will go with this too without it collapsing." "Uh just hang it over something."

The boys went to the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?" Jens asked with his head already in the fridge. "Yes please" he answered. "Uh we have juice, coke ... I don't know what you like?"

Jens didn't get an answer, so he looked around and what he feared earlier today was reality. Lucas was looking extensively at the old pictures on the wall.

“Uh yes old pictures are hanging everywhere in the house. Nice and embarrassing.” Jens said with a flushed cheeks.

"No this is amazing!" Lucas said enthusiastically. "Isn't this you?" he pointed to an old school photo, about nine years old Jens was there. Jens nodded. "And this? Is that your sister?”

"Yes, that's Lotte, she's only eight, by the way, which also explains the drawings on the fridge," Jens said while he closed the fridge. "Is Coke good?" and Lucas nodded.

"You said eight years, this really isn’t bad," said Lucas with admiration. "I couldn't do this when I was eight!"

"Do you draw then?" Jens aked. “Yes, I have always attended a Waldorf school in the Netherlands. So, there was always a lot of room for creativity. My mother thought that was important for my development. That's why started painting and drawing I think.” Lucas said almost shyly.

"So not just the skater boy I've seen so far," Jens joked.

"No not just a skater boy"

The boys sat down at the kitchen table with their drinks. "And you? Are you also doing something creative or are you really just the skater boy I've seen so far?” Lucas asked with genuine interest and a slight grin on his face.

"I play the guitar, but I don't think I can get much further than that," Jens replied.

"I should hear that one time," said Lucas with a smile on his face. "Only if I get to see your drawings" Jens said back teasingly "at least if that's not too personal" he quickly added realizing how personal art could be. But Lucas agreed. "Next time, then," the blond boy said.

Next time, Jens thought. That sounds good.

The boys' small talk went on for a while until Jens asked if Lucas would like to have another drink.

"a beer?" Jens asked. And Lucas replied as if he had never heard anything better. Jens took two bottles of beer from the fridge and put them on the table. He also took a deck of cards.

"Can you play cards?" he asked. To which Lucas replied with a provocative tone "and if I can play cards" and the boys both laughed at it.

...

A few games of cards and two beers later Jens gave up “how is this possible, people never want to play cards with me because I always win, and you just finished me like it was nothing”

"Oh… has Lucas destroyed jens his little ego," said Lucas in a teasing voice and half a pout. Both boys couldn't stop laughing.

Lucas took some more crispy nuts and put them in his mouth. "Do you know what my party trick is?" he asked. Jens shook his head. "I can float crispy nuts in the air," he said through his laughter. Jens had no idea what to imagine. "I must see that!" Lucas tried to back out of it, but Jens was steadfast. He had to see this.

"Okay, but then I have to lie flat." And not much later, the boys had moved into the living room with the bag of crispy nuts.

Jens looked wide-eyed at Lucas. "Dude how?!" he said in surprise. "I have to be able to do this, it is brilliant." So not much later Jens himself was on the couch.

"Okay, you need a round nut that isn't too big." So Jens picked up a round crispy nut. "Then you put it on your lips" Jens followed the instructions of a slightly tipsy Lucas. "And then you have to blow gently." Jens tried but failed very hard. He tried a few more times but failed really hard.

"How do you do this, it is impossible," said Jens, almost irritated. "You should blow softer," said Lucas. Jens had to be able to do it "even softer, that really is impossible!". Both boys burst out laughing at Jens's frustration. “You know what, I give up. You already destroyed my ego while playing cards” and Jens sat up straight on the couch. Lucas dropped down next to him and said with a grin “sorry…” “ah stop it” Jens said back.

"should I put some music on?" Jens asked, already getting up. Lucas nodded. “What should I put on. I really have no idea what the Dutch are listening to.” Jens said teasingly. "you can decide I listen to almost everything thanks to my friends in the Netherlands." Lucas replied. "Everything?" Jens asked in a provocative tone. Lucas put his hands over his head "oh god what have I started."

Little boy You are in this world so you will have to fight just like me I can know Life is not easy There is adversity at any time (translated from dutch)

Jens looked at a Lucas who sang this song with one hand on his hard. "The Dutch really like their Hazes or not," said Jens, laughing. "Who doesn't love Hazes." Lucas supposedly said back offended. "You are a real Dutchman," Jens said, shaking his head. "But Hazes is okay…. I think," Jens admitted. "okay?" Lucas said, his hands on his hard. "It's always time for Hazes!" and Jens didn’t dare go against it.

"But what do you really listen to, as in everyday life." Jens asked. "Uh that differs a lot, but I think artists like The 1975 or Bon Iver are chill", said Lucas. "I don't know Bon Iver," Jens admitted.

Lucas got up and took the phone from Jens's hand. "I'm sure you know this number."

Come on skinny love just last the year Pour a little salt we were never here My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

"Isn't that Birdy her song?" Jens asked. Lucas looked at Jens and sarcastically said “ouch”. "No Birdy covered this. I think the original is better though.” And Jens joined Lucas's opinion.

Lucas returned the phone to Jens and plopped down on the sofa. Jens scrolled through the list Lucas had put on. "I'll keep this on," said Jens and sat down next to Lucas. Closer than he actually intended. The boys' shoulders touched.

If Lucas does not think this is chill then he will move to the side, Jens thought, but Lucas did not move.

A few songs passed and the conversation got back on track. "But why did you actually come to Antwerp?" Jens asked. Lucas took a deep breath which made boys touch each other even more. "Uh, it's quite complicated," said Lucas. Jens immediately felt guilty about the question. "You don't have to tell if you don't want to"

Lucas nodded, but opened his mouth searching for words. “No it's okay, I lived in Utrecht with my mother, but she is uh… bipolar. I don't know if you know what that is” Jens looked at Lucas and nodded “Yes I do. Sander, Robbe's boyfriend is bipolar ”Lucas nodded and looked for words to go on. “The three of us have decided that it is better for me not to live with her for a while, so now I am here with my father in Antwerp”

"Do you think you're going back to the Netherlands?" Jens secretly hoped not.

"Not any time soon. At least I want to finish my school here.” Lucas took a deep breath “it's just difficult, because my whole life is in the Netherlands. My friends, basically just everything.”

Jens understood Lucas exactly. The boy he has only known since this school year has just opened up here. Maybe it was good for him too.

"I think I understand you," Jens said cautiously. “When my father lost his job, we had to choose between living smaller here in Antwerp or leaving the city… I don't know how I would have managed leaving the city. Without Robbe. ”

"I really miss Kes and Isa very much" said Lucas "never thought I would even miss Jayden as much as I do" and the Boy laughed. "But I immediately felt accepted here." A smile appeared on Jens's face. "You, the boys and the girls were there for me from day one."

Silence fell between the boys. Not an awkward silence, it was a silence that said more than all the words spoken that night.

Jens knew that the feelings for Lucas were more than friendly. He had never felt this fot a boy before. He had never ruled it out, but it was still scary.

Jens felt Lucas's gaze on him, and his whole body heated. Kissing the boy, that's what he wanted all night. But Jens was afraid it would ruin their friendship.

Jens turned his head to Lucas's. Lucas's eyes fixed on his lips.

Without thinking, Jens closed the space between him and Lucas. His lips found Lucas's and Lucas kissed him back.

It was a small cautious kiss, and Jens pulled back gently.

"Uh ... sorry"

"You don't have to apologize," said Lucas with a smile. "If I hadn't wanted it, I wouldn't have kissed you back."

Jens's body simply stopped functioning, so all he could do was nod yes. He opened his mouth searching for words "it's just uh ... I’ve never done that before." He didn't even dare to look at Lucas.

"You are not my first boy." Lucas replied. That made Jens look up "as in ..." Jens started

Lucas finished "Gay".

A short pause followed, until Jens asked, "How did you know you're gay?"

"I am simply not attracted to girls, it just doesn’t work for me" Lucas replied.

"I never knew I could be attracted to boys," Jens said.

“That's okay, right? And that you kissed me doesn't make you gay” Lucas said “you don't have to put a label on yourself just because you kissed a boy.”

"No, I know, but at least I'm not straight." Jens Huffed. And both boys laughed.

"There is much more than gay and straight you know, you just have to discover it." Lucas said. And he was right.

...

"My god it's already half past two," said Lucas. "If I want to keep my father on my side, I really have to go home soon."

"I will cycle with you, because I don't think you really paid attention to how to get back to the harbor." Jens laughed. And Lucas admitted he had no idea how to go back home.

The boys put on their coats and shoes and walked over to the bikes.

"Do you have your key this time?" Lucas joked. And Jens nudged him.

...

Fifteen minutes later they stood in front of a modern apartment complex.

“Thanks for riding along!” Lucas said “next time at my place?”

That sounds good, Jens thought and agreed with the plan.

The boys hugged each other, and Lucas walked towards the door of the complex. Before he went in, he said "I really liked it tonight, would you send a message when you get home?"

Jens would do that. He took his earphones out of his pocket and put on Lucas's playlist.

Evergreens in a dream of an island town Draw a line in the sand and we'll smooth it down Will your side win, get to the middle Count them off one at a time And we'll try, to guess right

#van der stoffels #vds #jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #lucas vdh #skam #skamnl #wtfock #wtfam

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years

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12. On Your Side

Decided to publish what I had worked on before my hiatus, mainly for Tina and nem, as a Xmas thing. Ion celebrate that shit, happy holidays or whatever. I was hoping to have completed the story by now, but with my break for mental health, I guess it's either pushed back or gonna be abandoned. Will know in a couple of weeks or so what, if anything I intend to do with it. Its an Apex centered chapter. I'm still on hiatus. You can leave a review if you want to, but don't message me about Simon or this story. Thanks.

*The Grace St. Catherine Playlist, featuring songs used in chapter and songs that inspired the chapter*

“Even through the darkest phase

Be it thick or thin

Always someone marches brave

Here beneath my skin…” Grace let the music play in the background as she tried to do all of the things suggested to her by her “spiritual advisor,” Sunny, whenever she moved into the place. She was doing more drawing - mostly sketches of carnage and rage. She was journaling a lot, mostly in the form of a narrative told by a hypothetical fictional character, because admitting to the things that she was doing on paper was a huge no-no, so she simply projected her life through her journaling character, The Saint, whom would never be referred to by name in any of the entries. In this particular one, The Saint was contemplating calling The Shadow. What would the conversation even be like? He would tell her how bad she was for being mad at him. She would tell him that she only hurt bad people, but he hurt a friend… he hurt her. That was different. So different. But she MISSED him.

She had began to sketch him. She was more of a doodler/drew cartoons and comics on her phone and stuff… but she was shut up in this place for hours at a time and hadn’t really used a pencil and a sketch book seriously in a while. Then, it got away from her. After a few days, she had almost filled up a sketch book with drawings of Simon. She winced when she thought of his name. She had been avoiding speaking it and thinking it. “And constant craving has always been…” She stared at the phone, then changed the track. The last thing she needed was to think about craving, of all things…

Now, that the phone was in her hand, she glanced around, feeling that paranoia that she had since she left home. Nobody was watching her here, but she felt obligated to check, anyway, and upon verifying what she already knew - that nobody was fucking watching her - she went to visit his social media. Private? Since when? She checked another. Same thing. A third, same fucking thing! “UGH!!!” She threw her phone onto the couch and went to go chop wood. She didn’t really like to chop wood, but it did make her feel better to swing a tool and see destruction come out of it.

“Old wounds

Old fights

Another day goes by

I'm not playing by the rules

They can't take me for no fool…” Her phone continued singing as she went outside.

Jalicia Barrett was not the same type of watch as Grace was. She obviously wasn’t as upscale as Grace, so she wound up having much to do that was necessary, unlike Grace’s schedule of playing a typical woman. Now, to say that Jalicia was typical would be a stretch of the imagination, as Simon knew that none of Grace’s people were that and she had possibly an unreasonable amount of tiger items, but she was closer to an average person than Grace was.

She went to Seattle University, but hadn't selected a major. She was still doing general studies after taking a few years to get her GED (She began trying at 16 and only successfully received it less than a year ago), so.. a freshman in college, which wasn't bad. She was 19. She worked on campus and seemed to have other odd jobs, like being a delivery driver or personal cab, and stuff at that Infinity Foundation place.

She didn’t have rich parents. From what Simon was able to find, she was never reunited with them, whoever they were. If they had lived in Seattle when she was taken, there was nothing on file to indicate that she was reported missing. Of course… he didn’t know what her real name was. The name Jalicia Barrett only became a name for her in the year after Grace left the mental institution. He knew that was likely connected.

Maybe… she wound up in the system after Grace touched base with them? At any rate… whoever the girl who was brought into trafficking had been, she was now Jalicia Barrett, a girl who began existing when she was 13 or 14 and obviously probably didn’t know her DOB either, as it was on record as the day that her name was given, her documents were created all around the same time, so she had to either have been a baby whenever she was taken, or simply never knew her personal information like birth date and full name.

BUT, she did have prints on file, so she probably had birth records that could be matched to them somewhere. He didn’t know if he wanted to get into that… or if she hadn’t done so herself and simply decided that life was easier being the person that she knew herself to be now. He certainly couldn’t imagine separating from his loved ones and then not finding them for a decade or so and then just… trying to pretend that they were family after all or something. She had the family she wanted… Well… she lost one. He felt bad for her. It wasn’t the same, but whenever he lost Grace, he felt like his world collapsed. To even pretend to understand how this woman must feel losing her life partner after years of being together, he wouldn’t insult her like that. Instead, he looked into the details surrounding that. Whatever happened to that investigation?

He’d provided an alibi for them and the police never spoke with him again. He’d done his best playing ignorant and pretending that everything was casual. Whenever they asked him about Heath, he said that he didn’t know Heath. “I’ve only met him once and he didn’t show up to the gathering… Is he alright?” They didn’t answer, just wished him a good day.

Now, he was looking through their paperwork and he was sure that he might find something interesting, if not useful. Simon had no idea what he was looking for with these other people. Something that led him back to Grace’s trail, and he had to figure out how they worked to even presume that…

Here’s the thing… Simon wasn’t going to write himself off as wrong or going too far. For crying out loud, the things that these people did, and they felt justified in their reasonings, so he wasn’t going to allow himself to feel bad. Grace might need him, and Xander was keeping her away from him. He cursed himself over that gun, though. However, IF she would have just let him explain that he only had it to keep Xander from getting it! He didn’t know what to think when he holstered it, but it wasn’t for her! Why would he hurt her? He scanned through paperwork, trying to take his mind off of Grace’s lack of faith in him and then, he was sure that he found what he needed. If not; he’d found something interesting. “Huh.”

Grace called Sunny for more tips. She was doing everything that she told her to, and reading all these books and articles, ordering all sorts of holistic woo woo shit, and trying SO HARD just to not lose it out there… Sunny was always a mood lifter for her though. They would talk for however long, laugh, joke, sometimes get entirely too serious and cry… they hadn’t done this in a long time, but Grace had been calling her more frequently lately and, well… it was necessary for her to be available.

“It’s like… I don’t want to use this word lightly, and I especially can’t tell Xan, but I feel like I’m like… addicted… Does that sound stupid?”

“Xander doesn’t own the word addicted, Grace. He’s struggled with a few drugs over the years, but one of the reasons is because he’s sick. Some people can try things and never really become addicted to them because those things didn’t appeal to them in that way. This dude appealed to you in a way that your body wasn’t used to. He got into your mind, and most likely changed the chemical balance. Affected your hormones and shit, only to find that he wasn’t what you thought and now your chemicals gotta try to balance back out without his influence, so no, it doesn’t sound stupid. Perhaps melodramatic, but I don’t know. You could be addicted to the way that he made you feel. Going through dick withdrawals is a struggle that people don’t give enough credence, too.”

Grace snorted. “I’m… not… going through that. We weren’t like that. I don’t even know if he ever was into me that way? It was like… I don’t know… I never got the feeling that he desired me physically.”

“What feeling did you get?”

“For the most part, that he wanted me around. I don’t know why. He never seemed to be asking anything of me but to let him be near me. He was very good about not entering my personal space, and even when I got comfortable, he still never made any move on me or anything like that. He just seemed to like to be… present.”

“Okay, but what would he be doing when he was present?”

“Sometimes nothing, really. Just looking at me, or listening to me. Sometimes, we were doing our own thing - me reading a book. Him playing video games or writing, or… Idk, working on a cosplay outfit.”

“Girl, on what?”

“He’s a fantasy fanboy before he’s a fantasy writer, so he you know… makes cosplay costumes and stuff for conventions. Whenever he’s not scheduled to be on a panel at one… This is something that I’ve observed, not something that he’s said. He… doesn’t talk about himself a lot. Not at all, come to think about it.”

“Xander makes him out to be a literal serial killer.”

“Xander hates him. What about 808? What does she say? Xan seems to think that he “got to her” or played some kind of mind games or something?”

“Well… she didn’t say anything to me about him, except that he was very talkative and apparently worships you. She was pretty thrown off guard at how comfortable he seemed with being caught and held hostage. She said that he is either the most nonchalant person ever or the craziest fucking person that she’s ever drawn a weapon on, because he acted like they were buddies just chitchatting, and we all know that he knows what we do to people.” Grace didn’t reply. Sunny offered, “Well, whenever I think about the shit that I went through with Xander and how we always seem to find each other in the dark, it's usually in terms of No Angel.”

Grace said, “Beyonce’s No Angel?”

“”Is… Is there another one? Because, if there’s anything AND a Beyonce song, just go ahead and assume that I am only speaking of the Beyonce option.” Grace laughed. Sunny recited, “ I love you even more than who I thought you were before.” Grace held her breath, unsure of what to say to this. Sunny continued, “All I mean to say is that sometimes people aren’t who we initially thought. Sometimes they’re worse. Sometimes they are seriously fucked up. Sometimes, they’re absolute trash… But… you might still love their ass.”

“Damn, Sis… Is this how you feel about Xan? Because those are some hard descriptions.”

“No. Xander is definitely a hot mess, but I was absolutely describing your… thing… over there. Jimony?”

“Simon,” Grace said, trying not to laugh.

“Right. I knew it had “mon” in it.”

Jalicia didn’t know what it was about that station that made her put it on all of the time, but her streaming service generally stayed on an old r&b from the 60s and 70s station, and sometimes 80s and 90s, whenever she was at work. She had a journal with a tiger on the front that she was writing down poetry in, but she could never think of titles for any of her work, and she didn’t feel like she was that artistically creative, so she’d title everything, “(Song Title) Plays in the Background,” whether or not the song had any bearing on the poem. Today’s? Let’s Groove Plays in the Background.

Work was a little bit overwhelming, these days, but only because of the things that had nothing to do with it. The fact that she wouldn’t just receive flowers sometimes and have her coworkers wonder why her boyfriend was this thoughtful, but they never saw him. Or the days where she would pout about being broke and having to pack a stupid sandwich and he would insist on having something sent to her at lunchtime, if he didn’t just make her a different, more fulfilling lunch instead. The way that she would get a text whenever he went on his own lunch break, and it would just be some hilarious video or a new thing that they just HAD to buy. Work was overwhelming, because what she had leaned on every shift was the fact that he’d interrupt it with something nice and that she would leave there and get to see him every day.

Now, she was listening to Earth Wind & Fire, in a gray pantsuit and fooling around on her computer while she waited for something to do. She heard the tone of the doorway and she got up to see if somebody needed help. It was a college bookstore and she was often far overdressed, but all she had aside from her typical attire were the pantsuits she wore when she had to do something other than be casual - like functions and interviews or whatever, so that was what she wore to work.

The O. He looked at her like they were friends or something. A polite smile and warmth in his eyes. She stared him down and reached for her phone. “Hi. Can I just have a moment?” He asked. She texted: The O is here and hit “send” to 747. “It won’t take long, I just wanted to give you something.” The O reached into his bag and Jalicia had already identified four common objects in her immediate surroundings that she would definitely use as a weapon against him if he tried something slick. He handed her an envelope, one of the big yellow ones and she frowned.

“I’m not taking whatever that is. For all I know it’s got anthrax in it.”

He laughed and opened it himself, pulled out the paperwork and handed it to her. “I figured out a better method of tracking people down than Heath had the resources for. I know that Xander is trying his hardest, God help him, but he’s not much on a computer and some of these things are hard to find.” She took the pages and glanced through them. Simon helped her find a certain page, “I’ve guessed that you maybe didn’t know much about this part of the situation that you all walked into. The… X, I suppose you’d call him, was very paranoid that he might be on your list and he hired protection.” He pointed out a few key lines that he had highlighted. “Professional protection, and yet when the time came to protect him, Heath wasn’t shot in the arm, or hell, if they didn’t want him to escape, the leg is an option as well.”

“They killed Heath on purpose,” She said, the wind knocked out of her as she did. She tried to take a seat, but just fell back onto a table and leaned against it, knocking down several books.

“They wanted to send a message and since you all slacked up since then, I’m sure that they think that they did.” She started crying angrily and wiped her face. “Flip to the next page.” Her hands were shaking and she wasn’t sure of what she might see, but she flipped to the next page anyway. “That’s your shooter. Since he was on the job, he confessed to being the one who fired and because Heath was breaking an entering and had no family to intercede for an investigation… the cops seem to be fine with what happened to him, despite the fact that our laws state that a person may not use more force than is necessary given the situation.” She shut her eyes and squeezed out tears, her fists tightly holding onto the phot0 of the man. “Next page are his personal details. Do with it whatever you think is best. I just thought that you would want to know.”

She shivered and cried, “This doesn’t mean that I owe you anything. I didn’t ask you for this and I don’t feel indebted to you for it.”

“Jalicia… I’m on your side. Whatever side Grace is on, that’s where I am. I did this because I want to help.”

“Well… This is the most help you’re getting from me - Xander’s on his way.”

“Then, I’ll be on my way.” He had that polite smile again and she was almost terrified how easily it came to him. He left quite a few minutes before Xander arrived.

She instantly fell apart as soon as she saw him, handing him the papers and explaining to him what he was looking at. She left work and was going to call Grace, but Xander snatched her phone while he was driving. “No, what if he. like, cloned your phone or something?”

“What? This ain’t Person of Interest, Boy. What the fuck are you talking about, Bro? He’s rich but it’s not like he’s Lex Luthor.”

“We can’t chance it. He’d do anything to find out where she is.”

“Give me yours, then.”

“Just hold off. I need to check this dude out. For all we know, Simon is just blowing smoke up our asses to get us to lead him to Grace.”

“The fact that you think it’s more likely that he falsified a bunch of police documents than that he simply sneaked them away is making me wonder about you .”

“I let him get too close to her before, and I’m not doing that again.”

Jalicia snatched her phone back from him and they wrestled for it but, he eventually heard Grace on speaker.

“What is happening on that end?” She asked, laughing a little bit nervously.

“We need to talk about Simon,” Jalicia said.

“I disagree with that sentiment!” Xander said in the background.

There was a pause. Grace was panicking a little bit. Did they know that she was trying to check his pages? That she was trying to see if she could make a temporary account just to try to get to them? How would they know that, Girl?

Jalicia added, “It’s about Heath.” Xander turned red in the face and he shook his head and tried to breathe. “Oh, fuck you, Xan. You left him there to die. The least you could do is chill out while I speak to Grace about this.”

“Whoa… That’s not extremely fair. The Apex protocol is that if somebody is hit, we leave and regroup. We go in with the expectation that if we’re hit, we would slow everyone down and jeopardize everything. So, Xander and I both left him,” Grace said the last statement laced with sadness and guilt.

“He pulled you out and sped away,” Jalicia said.

Xander scoffed and then burst into tears, “I’m glad that you’re telling us how you really feel.” His voice was surprisingly calm, but the ladies knew that hurt him more than anything ever had in this world.

“Tell me what you need to say,” Grace said.

“Simon found Heath’s killer.”

“Simon found a person he alleges is Heath’s killer.”

“He had all of the paperwork to corroborate it. More than Heath has ever collected on any X.”

“He had paperwork on a man who works in security who may have shot Heath dead, but as far as we know is not a bad person. He probably was just on a security job. Somebody broke into the house he was guarding and he shot!”

“WHY DID HE SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD???” Jalicia squealed. “I’ve been over this myself, before Simon EVER said anything about it, but WHY didn’t they shoot him to survive and answer questions about what is one of the most infamous string of serial murders to ever hit the city? Why would he risk his job to kill someone that way in security, if there wasn’t a reason that Heath needed to be dead?”

“You… you think that the security dude is old Apex?”

“I think that at best, the security dude wanted to kill a person that he didn’t HAVE to kill and he used Heath as a perfect excuse, making him a shitty person, in my opinion, and at worst, he didn’t want us saying anything to anybody, because he knew why we were there!”

“But, we did release what we had on the X. The information is out there now. Nothing was done about it,” Grace added.

“Precisely! Just as nothing was done about this trigger happy buttfuck, even though our laws state that you’re not supposed to kill motherfuckers if you don’t have to!” Jalicia said. She looked at Xander, poked him in the arm and reminded him, “You were the first one to claim you’ll avenge him”

“And you told me to go fuck myself.”

“Emotions were definitely running high, but if you’re looking for the chance to make good on your word, you’ll have to suck it up and just live with the fact that Simon gave us this, like I have to live with the fact that Heath is never fucking coming home!” She got louder than she intended. Xander wiped his tears with the back of his hand, but more just poured out. He nodded, but he was still extremely upset.

“Send me what Simon sent you. I’ll let you know what I decide from there.”

“Thank you, Grace.”

Grace sighed, paused, then said, “Heath would have wanted us to get out, but even if you had driven away and left us all, we wouldn’t have faulted you… That’s the protocol. Heath knew that…”

“Does that make it easier for you?”

“No. But, we shouldn’t make it harder on each other, either…” Jalicia sighed, rolled her eyes and let more tears fall. “I’m sorry, Jalicia. Heath was the first person in the warehouse that I ever cared about. I would trade myself for him, if I could.”

“He’d never let you,” she hung up and reached out for Xander. He accepted her hand. “I was mean to you…”

“You were honest. It just fucking hurts. Heath was the backbone of this family, and everyday he isn’t here, I lose more and more respect and control. He kept me grounded.”

“Doesn’t Sunny do that too?”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“Maybe you don’t let it be. Maybe the reason Heath was your rock was because you thought that you only needed one. That’s what I did, too. I didn’t even realize how much of my life revolved around him until I was just spinning in space, with nothing to pull me back. Why do you think I moved in with your ass?”

“To split rent.”

She gave a resigned shrug, but shook her head, “I thought that it would make things better, if even just to put me in a spot where I could just not think about it and not be alone. I figured I wouldn’t get over it, but that at least I would logically be able to grant myself some peace because you’re there too, and that there would be some type of comfort. Not emotionally. That’s gonna take more time than I even believe that I have left in this world. But… at least I wanted that solid ground to stand on, to be able to say, Heath would want his two favorite people to lean on each other and find some strength in his absence.” Xander sniffled. She finished, “But it didn’t matter, and I don’t even know what to do, because I thought that being around you would guarantee some balance, even if it didn’t truly help… I still have all of my grief, and I’m..” she whimpered, “So tired. And empty. And distant. My closest living friend is sitting right next to me, and I have been so alone…”

Xander pulled the van over, unlatched his seatbelt and hugged her. She wasn’t done. She was so focused on her train of thought that she hadn’t even actually noticed that Xander was hugging her. “Heath was always in my life. Before any other human that I can remember. Like, logically, I know that Grace took care of Todd and Heath took care of me… but… I don’t even remember anybody else until maybe I was 5 or 6. I know he wasn’t the only person around, but in my mind, he was. I have NO frame of reference that doesn’t involve him. He was…” She finally realized both that Xander was already holding her and that she was crying again.

She remembered something. She was 4 or 5, her brain was never good at that part. She wasn’t in school or anything. All of her special days were simply moments and occurrences. This particular occurrence. A boy with light hair, getting hurt really bad by the stewards. Heath covered her eyes and started talking about flowers. He found a new book about them. He’d help her try to read later. The noise of the boy being beaten up was in the background, but at the time, she was too young to pay any attention to it and listen to Heath. So, she listened to Heath and the beating was background noise filtered out. Afterwards, he took her to the side of the building and let her pick flowers for their new friend. The new boy was mean. He was mean to Heath and Grace had to help Heath. Then, he was nice. She looked at Xander’s face and saw that same boy, just as hurt and just as angry as the first day she recalled a memory of him.

“He wasn’t always in mine… but he was the first person who was ever just nice to me for no reason other than to be nice,” Xander said. “There’s nothing that I want more than to punish a person who would take him away from us, but to have Simon, SIMON, give us that…” He was red in the face and shaking his head. “He’s using it to get to Grace, and I just didn’t want to give him that kind of power.”

“Then why didn’t you just say, ‘Hey, lets not tell her where we got the information?’ If you had just sent it to her with X confirmed, instead of fighting me in traffic…”

“You didn’t give me a chance!”

“I just… This ONE thing, then maybe I can move on.” He nodded and buckled back in. “I’ll get to work on the logistics. In case Grace gives us the go ahead, I want to be ready to move as soon as possible.”

Simon pulled his hair up into a high ponytail. He was going to try to get it into a bun, but it had been getting longer and thicker, and while he’d normally just pull the top part into a pony and let the rest hang, but it was windy and he was going to be pretty active, so high ponytail, it was. He had been checking out the X that he gave Jalicia, to see if they were going to make a move on him. He wasn’t positive of the typical turnaround time on an X, so he simply went to watch every night. He wasn’t going to do the car. Dude was in security. He’d probably make him.

Instead, he parked around the block and went to a big tree across the street from the X’s home to post up. He had binoculars and an awkwardly applied hunting tree seat. It wasn’t made for him to be up this high, but he situated it only to have a seat that wasn’t tree bark. He spent the time that he wasn’t watching the house on social media, checking out Sunetra’s pages… which… apparently she went by “Sunny…” which… Simon noted to himself that he had seen a little sun tattoo on Xander, and whenever he came across Sunny’s very tasteful artistic nudes, he saw that she had a little tattoo, as well, on her chest, of an “X.”

Her photos were really nice and she seemed to… possibly be a stripper? He checked a few of her posts and captions. She hashtagged #burlesque in some of them, so maybe not a stripper, but something risque. She was in the fine arts program in college, for dance and had many posts from the Infinity Foundation of her doing dance workshops, yoga, and stuff. She had a lot of witchy posts, too. Simon rolled his eyes, but kept scrolling. Several of her posts were really funny. He noticed a yoga and meditation program that she would be doing at a community center and saved the post.

He watched the X for about a week and a half when he saw the van pull up. In the dark, he couldn’t tell who people were, but two had gotten out and through the binoculars, he could tell that Xander was one and the other was Jalicia. He checked the van. That was an unfamiliar one behind the wheel, but he presumed that it was Sunny or 808, and that he simply couldn’t see them... There was a loud noise and screaming in the house. He turned to see that Jalicia had a knife to a woman’s throat while Xander was escorting the X out, with his hands up. He got him to the van, injected something into his neck and tossed him in. Jalicia unhanded the woman, but appeared to take a bag along with her and the woman ran next door.

Jalicia had taken all the phones with her. The woman had to run next door to call the police. Simon realized that she was probably doing that, and he got out of the tree to get back to his car. If he hurried, he might be able to catch the van!

He went the direction that they had, and when he came to what he thought might be them, he put on a mask of his own, but it was a medical mask, just because that was… possibly not as weird as if he wore like a clown mask or something. They had NOT handled that in the way that he expected. Something told him that they either were rushing or desperate. He wondered why.

But, whenever they pulled the van into an old train station, he parked behind the building and got out of his car. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up. This is fucked up.

He could hear their voices, and he followed the sound of them, but didn’t come from the shadows of the building. They were dragging the bag into a field that Simon knew that he had passed several times in his life, but never paid much attention to. Nobody really did. Was this where they buried them? He wondered. He only saw Jalicia and Xander, pulling the body bag with one hand and carrying shovels in their free hands. Where was the driver? He went around the other side of the building and the van was pulling off. Where were THEY going? He couldn’t start his car. Jalicia and Xander weren’t far enough away to not hear him. He groaned and went to look back towards the field. He couldn’t see anything beyond the tall grass, but he used his phone to try to record where they were… maybe he could find it in the daytime. Besides, they were now far enough away that he could start his car without alerting him. He felt like he had enough.

Simon drove home, wary of a van behind him for a portion of the way. He took some loops and turnarounds that he wouldn’t usually take before he was comfortable that they weren’t following him and it wasn’t the van… but after he got home, he noticed at the bottom of the hill a van, and it looked like the van that they used. It looked like the van that he was nervous might be following him. But. There was no way that the van had found him after those turns. Was it one of them, just letting him know that they knew he had followed them?

He rushed inside and looked out of the curtains. They were there for a moment. They turned the van off and he took a deep gulp and reached for one of his guns. They got out of the van and stood, staring up at the house. DEFINITELY APEX. This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.This is fucked up.

They stared, wearing a gold mask, a tam hat, and the all black outfit that he had gotten used to, but then not seen for a while. “Grace!” He said. He put his gun down and rushed out of his door. “Grace?” He called, but she rushed back into the van, tossed something out, and peeled off. “Grace…” He ran down the hill and out to the road. She was gone… He looked down to see what she had thrown down on her way off. It was a Stop sign with a red squiggly line underneath the word “Stop.” He picked it up, roared and began to smash it against the pavement, before flinging it into the middle of the road and going back into his house. He called Jalicia and she looked at her phone, not recognizing the number, so she answered it. “Hello?”

“Was that Grace?” a voice asked.

“What?”

“The person who just followed me home and told me to stop. Was that Grace?”

“No,” was all that she said. He hung up. She put her phone away.

“Who’s that?” Xander wondered.

“Non issue,” she said. It wasn’t a complete lie, and there was no way that she was about to ruin their night with… whatever that had been about. She and Xander were still digging when their third came walking up, her gold mask on her face and a shovel in hand. “Girl, where did you rush off to?”

“I knew he was gonna still be alive,” she said and pulled up the mask onto her head. Sunny. “Had to make a stop,” she said with a shrug. She and Jalicia stared at each other a moment, and Xander kept digging, oblivious to the exchange of them questioning each other with their eyes. It was short lived, because Grace was connecting for the video call. “Hey, Girl, Hey!” Sunny cheered.

“Bitch, I’m so mad that I’m not there right now.”

“Be mad at Jimona,” Sunny said.

“Simon!” Grace said, laughing. Then, more solemnly, said, “Draw a squiggle right across his face, for me.”

“Sure will,” Sunny said, pulling her knife out. “What are you listening to, Woman?”

Grace checked the info on her streaming, “Hurts by Emeli Sande.”

“That’s dope. Send me the link to that.”

Simon was at the apartment now, crying and sitting in front of the cameras. He wondered if she would return with them, but looking at the feeds he had placed to check the outside of their homes, he noted that the three entered Xander and Jalicia’s home at 3:47 am… and that… wasn’t Grace. It was the woman that he had initially identified as, “One who looks like Grace.” It was Sunny… He flared his nostrils and set an alert to remind him about the yoga and meditation at the community center.

His phone began to ring while it was in his hands. It was a private number. For a moment, he let his heart accelerate. “Hello?” He answered.

Silence. He sighed and almost hung up, but… he felt something. His tears stopped, he sat up erect and waited. She was silent, still. He was afraid to break it, but more afraid of her losing whatever nerve she had at the moment and hanging up. So, he dared to speak. He kept his voice soft and low. Gentle, like he knew she would remember him being. “Hey…” He said. He heard her sniffle and it tore at his heart. “Hey,” he managed to say even softer. “Are you okay?” She sniffled again. “Tell me what I can do to make you okay?”

“Why did you do that, Simon? Why did you?”

“I wanted to be close to you. I wanted to know you. I wanted you… I didn’t know what to do. I was desperate. I am desperate. Please, tell me where you are…”

“You let Xander catch you.” There was the longest pause since the conversation started. Eventually, she spoke again. “I feel like the kids walked in on me doing something dirty…”

“I feel like it’s none of ‘the kids’ damn business what we do.”

“They can’t see stuff like that. They can’t see me being followed and watched, obsessively. They can’t just move on from that. You have no idea the kind of people who… Why did you have a gun?”

“Because, I had just been attacked by somebody that I know is a murderer and I was on edge…” They were quiet again. “I can keep them out of sight from now on. I can keep them away from you, at all times…”

“If I come back into town, my crew is gonna get… difficult. It won’t be safe for you.”

“I can’t prove myself to them? To you? Did you see what I found for them? For Heath? For Jalicia?... For you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, Jalicia told me right away…”

“You sound like you’re smiling,” he observed, daring to smile, himself.

“I can’t help it… but… we can’t… do this, Simon.”

“Don’t…”

“We’re both in really weird places and us coming together isn’t good… for either of us, I think…”

“Please…”

“We shouldn’t be together, see each other, anything. You should… get on with your life.”

“No!”

“Bye, Simon.”

“NO!!” She hung up. He bit into his lip so hard that he drew blood, trying to keep his composure. He couldn’t even go to the gun range right now! But.. He could… go back to that field. He knew where it was. He knew where the bodies were now… he… was running out of patience, but he reminded himself that it wasn’t her fault. The longer they kept her away from him, the more confused she would be. She just needed to understand that he was on her side. If she couldn’t… she would have to learn that there were consequences for going against him.

13. A Shot in the Dark Pt 1

#AU Infinity Train #Infinity Train #Nesha Fanfiction #Infinity Train Fanfiction #fics #People Watching

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stoiicist · 4 years

Text

reyna and frank praetor friendship hcs bc i have to do everything around here

frank is very intimidated by reyna at first. he feels inadequate in comparison, considering all she’s been through and his complete lack of experience. the first few days of post-war praetor work are kind of awkward, but only to frank because he doesn’t know that reyna just... doesn’t feel the need to fill silence and is okay with sitting quietly for hours until there’s something important to be said.

reyna is adjusting to frank as her co-praetor just as much, has to catch herself bc she almost calls him probatio at least a dozen times. but he’s sincere and eager to help and reyna is impressed by how quickly he adjusts to his new position. after all, he went from probatio to centurion to praetor in like..... god knows how short a time bc i can’t understand rick’s timelines to save my life but its gotta have been like under two weeks, right??

frank is absolutely shocked when, the second the two of them are alone in the principia, the ever stoic and professional reyna immediately starts slouching in her high-backed praetor chair. or she’ll bring one or both feet up onto the chair or sit cross-legged. idk gays can’t sit right ever, not even reyna.

in his first few weeks of praetorship, frank is too nervous to eat in the morning. reyna hears his stomach growling and just. silently slides her bowl of jellybeans over to him. one time jason comes to visit and his jaw drops when he sees frank casually grab a handful of jellybeans and he’s just like “reyna never let me have any. not without asking, at least.”

reyna’s dogs are fucking terrifying and frank is generally a little uneasy around them, but one day he transforms into a st. bernard and aurum and argentum go buck wild bc they’re like new friend??? new friend!!!! and frank romps around with them in the praetor office and it’s the first time he hears reyna genuinely laugh out loud

during war games, reyna flies around on guido and frank takes an eagle form to keep on eye on things.

they spend a lot of time together, being co-praetors and all, but they’re good friends outside of work and have weekly scrabble nights. frank usually wins. ( reyna later finds out he was a spelling bee champion and is like dude if i had known that i would’ve picked jenga )

reyna comes back from a week-long visit to CHB, supposedly full of long meetings with chiron and other leaders of the greek camp, but she comes back more... content than frank thinks is warranted for something like work meetings. there’s the smallest of changes to her disposition; the way she seems more at ease, how frequently she stares out the window with an almost tender gaze. at one point, frank can hear her humming as she files away some finished policy proposals ( reyna???? humming??? ) and he recognizes the song because he remembers seeing just a few days ago that a certain greek gal was listening to it on spotify. he tries to chalk it up to just coincidence, but later when he asks how their greek friend in question is doing, reyna answers a little too quickly.

frank cries when she retires. obviously. they work together for like... six fucking years. everyone notices but no one says anything, not even reyna, but it means the world to her.

#me to rick regarding relationship development between characters in hoo: yes go girl give us nothing!!!!!!!#WHEN will someone come here and write frank and give him love........... i am waiting for the day..............#anyway. i love letting reyna have friends and also be gay my brain is so smart for doing that #& we are the stories we tell ourselves ( headcanon. )

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iwillgiveyoumyhappiness · 5 years

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VAV Reacts: You being the Main Vocal of your group

aesthetic-06-24 asked:

Greetings! It’s kinda been a bit. I don’t know if you do reactions or not so I have two options (yes or yes, jk) Option #1: VAV’s reaction to you being the main vocalist of your group or Option #2: A Lou and/or Ace fluff As always, much love 💕

(A/N): This is the result of Option #1. Hope you liked it! I had a lot of fun writing it. It was short, snappy and quick to get out. In summary: a really fun challenge. Feel free to send more of these types of things my way! @aesthetic-06-24

Also, to everyone, I’ve officially reached 130+ followers! Do you guys think I should do anything special for the occasion?

Lee Geumhyuk (St. Van):

Though he’d be a little embarrassed, he’d try his best to be a source of energy for you. Being the Main Vocalist of his group, he knows the struggles that come with it firsthand.

The pressure, the vocal and breathing exercises, the sore throats—he knows every inch of it.

So if you come home after a long day and you’re exhausted and disheartened, of course he’ll do some aegyo for you. It doesn’t mean he won’t regret it after, but how can he stay sulky when you look so happy to have him there for support?

Answer: he can’t.

Choi Chunghyeop (Baron):

King of compliments. He brings out all the stops; anything to make you feel like a vocal queen. He’d say things like, “Your voice was so powerful right there” or “I got goosebumps at this part” (and he’d have the song time-stamp written down in a notebook, just so he could show you how much he cares).

He wants you to know that he takes a genuine interest in your work-life, but he’d also rather keep it separate form your love life. You two will sing together sometimes, especially on lazy days, but most of the time, he’ll just ask you to sing him to sleep.

He’ll never ever forget to remind you that your voice is soothing for him. He calls it his medicine and his healing. He loves your voice to the moon and back, but really, he loves it so much because he loves you. He wouldn’t love you any less if you had the vocal technique of a horse.

He probably doesn’t go to many concerts, but he always calls you after (no matter what time it is) to say, “You did so well, darling”.

“You didn’t even see me perform.”

You’d be able to hear the smile in his voice when he said, “But I know you, so therefore, you did awesome.”

Jang Wooyoung (Ace):

All I can say is that he’s taking pictures of you 24/7 and saving them to his ‘My Awesome Girlfriend’ folder. He’d be really proud of you, but he wouldn’t express it verbally that often. Not because he couldn’t bring himself to do it, but just because he felt that you both understood each other enough to know what he was getting at.

He figured that you understood what the pictures and videos he would take of you when you were singing meant.

He figured you would understand what the screenshots from your performances meant.

He figured you’d realize that every time he broke into a random smile, it was always because of you.

But still, when you were doubting yourself, he would speak his mind and tell you how amazing you are. Because even if you understood each other, sometimes hearing it out loud is the final push to assurance, and he knows that.

Nah Yoonho (Ayno):

Ugly-screaming. Ugly-singing. Ugly-dancing.

Everything about him hyping you up is weird as hell and super loud, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, because it makes you laugh so freakin’ hard.

If he’s at a concert, you better believe he muscled his way up to the front, just so you could possibly hear him screeching the lyrics and going, “WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!” every five seconds.

He won’t do it during ballads, though. If it’s a gentle, loving, or emotional song, he’d never dare. Even if he tried to, he’d find himself unable, because every time he hears you sing, he just melts into a state of, “Wow, that’s my girl”.

If you ever made eye contact while you were singing, even if it was just casually at home, he’d feel his heart beat so fast and his chest squeeze, and without realizing it, he’s singing along.

He likes the feeling of having that connection with you.

Jang Peng (Jacob):

You remember when they did karaoke to FXXK IT by BigBang and he was just kinda awkwardly bopping his arms in the background and being a general cutie? Yeah, that’s what I see.

He’d be so proud and excited for you, but he’d try to tone it down a bit—y’know, be a man—so he might come off seeming a little boring.

But believe me, this boy is at every single one of your group’s concerts that he can get to. If he has time, he’s there. Awkward arm-dance and all. Because even if it’s a weird, awkward arm-dance, it’s a weird and awkward arm-dance just for you.

And, don’t worry. He’d slowly get more comfortable with hyping you up. Just give him some time. He’ll eventually do it very openly, but for now, he’ll just settle for giving you a soft peck on the cheek after a performance and a sincere, “You did well, love.”

Kim Hosung (Lou):

Gets legitimately shocked by your voice every time he hears it. He could’ve heard it thousands of times and been to multiple concerts or listened to an album on repeat for a month, but every time he hears you hit a high-note or sound particularly emotive, the goosebumps raise.

He might mess around with you a bit land tease you for a particular lyric you sang. Especially romantic ones.

“Ohh,” he’d coo. “You were thinking about me, huh? That’s why this part was so good?”

But you can tease right back. “Nope,” you’d say. “Fried chicken.”

He’d stare for a moment, but then he’d start laughing, ‘cause God, he chose the right girl. In fact, the ultimate girl. What more could he ask for?

You’re funny, you understand him and accept him, you take care of him and make him feel bright, and you’re extremely talented.

Kinda someone he’d wanna marry and make a life with.

Park Heejun (Ziu):

Hyping you the heck out! Like, dude- I’m not even kidding.

He’d be so gosh-darned supportive of you. He’d learn all the lyrics to your songs, sing them loudly in the car with you, semi-learn the choreography, but mostly just slut-drop and appeal to you with cute winks. I feel like he’d be the type (if your relationship was public) to speak about you very often on V-live.

Like, “Vampz! Did you hear her new song yet? You have, right?”

Basically a pup that wants nothing more than to show you that he’s amazed by you and thinks you deserve a lot of love and attention. And maybe, just maybe... He’d like a little bit in return.

A lot, really.

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polar-stars · 5 years

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PSD Quartet plz?

Ofc, fellow PSD-Stan

Shun Ibusaki

Why I like them - I like how mysterious he is and it also adds great comedy how emotionless he always is when surrounded by the PSD-members who more than often get utilized for reaction shots and are therefore pretty expressive. I also loved seeing his hidden depth and ambitions, shame that there was no work done with it.

Why I don’t

Favorite episode (scene if movie) - Episode 23/Chapter 55 (AE Premlins), Chapter 96 (This is where he has the moment with Ryoko), Chapter 116 (That’s the Stagiare-Moment of his)

Favorite season/movie - Season 1

Favorite line - “Like hell I can give up! I’m turning things around…” (Chapter 116)

Favorite outfit - I’d say his “Prince of Smoke”-Outfit

OTP - Him x Ryoko Sakaki ❤️

Brotp - Him and the Rest of PSD, mainly Zenji Marui ofc. For someone outer-PSD: Akira Hayama and/or Ryo Kurokiba and him sound like a nice friendship.

Head Canon - His favorite song is “Bring Me Back To Life” by Evanescence, no you can’t change my mind on that.

Unpopular opinion - uuuuUH, a few fanworks (x-Readers) tend to portray him as this straight-forward, smooth guy and I can’t really see that? He strikes me as a shy bean, who would be really unsure about confessing his love for a great amount of time.

A wish - I mean, it’s all over now but….It would have been nice if his obvious grudges from the Autumn Elections would have been explored with more depth.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - Exactly what happened, he never got to do anything ever again ; 7 ;

5 words to best describe them - Silent, Mysterious, Stoic, Ambitious, Blunt

My nickname for them - “mop” ahhdhdGHG SORRY, I LOVE YOU SHUN

Ryoko Sakaki

Why I like them - Ryoko is just such a gentle and caring soul, how can you not like her? I like how mature she is in comparison to most of her classmates, but is still made out to be a person you can have fun with. She just has an insane amount of grace and elegance to her in all of her sophisticated calmness and I love her established role as big-sister-figure within the dorm and how it shows specifically when she interacts with Yuki and Megumi.

Why I don’t

Favorite episode (scene if movie) - Episode 23/Chapter 54 (AE Premlins), Chapter 63 (She helped out Soma for his Shokugeki against Alice and it was interesting seeing them interact o3o), Chapter 96 (This is where she had the moment with Shun)

Favorite season/movie - Season 1

Favorite line - “…is that what you’re thinking?” (Chapter 96)

Favorite outfit - hmmmMMM…Maybe that one dress she wears when Erina joins the dorm ovo?

OTP - Her and Shun

Brotp - Her and the PSD Members, most notably Yuki Yoshiko ofc. Outer-PSD, I’d say Ikumi Mito (+ Erina wether or not you count her into PSD)

Head Canon - Has shampoo that smells like cherry-blossoms and therefore carries the fragrance of cherry-blossoms around at all times.

Unpopular opinion - Don’t oversexualise her please 🙃 Also in a few works, she tends to be portrayed as rather lewd or the girl who had everyone in their bed already, and I could never really see that. She kind off strikes me as someone who would want to “save herself up” for someone special so to speak and also needs a bit of time before agreeing to get physical.

A wish - Again, too late now but welp, it would have been great to see her cook again.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - *mutters* the thing that happened…her never getting proper screen time again

5 words to best describe them - Mature. Calm. Friendly. Gentle. Patient.

My nickname for them - Meep, I like to call her a “Lady” but that’s it ;w;

Yuki Yoshino

Why I like them - How can one not like Yuki? She’s such an adorable, supportive, little sunshine girl! Her bubbliness and joyful attitude are just very endearing and it’s always massive fun to watch her. She also has a bunch of funny moments and I enjoy how overdramatic she can get sometimes. To me, she’s a very fun and lovable example of an energetic character.

Why I don’t

Favorite episode (scene if movie) - Episode 22/Chapter 56 (AE Premlins, though I think her part was done better in the anime), Chapter 60 (First time of her crying, because bby didn’t made the AE and still she throws a party for her friendos afterwards…BBY), 70 + 69 (Her supportiveness for Megumi in her match with Ryo was just the cutest thing ever, change my mind) Chapter 141 (This is where she breaks down crying in-front of everyone), Also Chapter 63 because this is where she asks Zenji if his glasses are just for show and that’s ✨ OTP ✨(next in line for “Great OTP Moments” would be Episode 13/Chapter 28)

Favorite season/movie - Season 1

Favorite line - “I really don’t like this! I don’t want the Polar Star Dorm to be gone!! I wanted..to be with you guys and together….I…I wanted to, cook more with you!” (Chapter 141) + “We of the Polar Star are so fearsome even kids stop crying!” (Chapter 14)

Favorite outfit - Her “Red Riding Hood”-Outfit is hella cute, if it’s something casual I’d say this outfit from that one chapter cover

OTP - HER AND ZENJI MARUI, f O RE VER AND E VERRRRRRRRRR

Brotp - Her and PSD, most notably Ryoko Sakaki. Outer-PSD, Ikumi Mito and Alice Nakiri would be my picks (+ Erina Nakiri, depends on where you count her in -w-)…also hear me out……Her and Kuga. (Or her and Nene for my self-indulgence, hi)

Head Canon - She likes fruit-patterns, tropical fruit-patterns. Especially those with citrus-fruits.

Unpopular opinion - Hm…I am sure there’s something, but idk as of now

A wish - preCIOUS BABY SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE REWARDS FOR THE TEARS SHE SHED. JUSTICE FOR YUKI MY FRIENDS. SHE ALWAYS SUPPORTED EVERYONE. I WAN T TO SEE HER SUCCEEED.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - (I actually kinda like seeing her in the world of business in Les Dessert so kudos for that I think), AHEAM her being reduced to a mere reaction character

5 words to best describe them - Energetic. Spunky. Supportive. Childish. Overdramatic.

My nickname for them - Sunshine bby, Precious Sunflower

Zenji Marui

Why I like them - *deep breath* I like smart characters and his very role in Shokugeki is to be the smart guy, but there’s more to that…I like how he’s still shown to be a hard-worker who studies hard to survive in Totsuki’s harsh environment where he’s surrounded by natural geniuses and how he truly excels in the intellectual area. He’s also just great fun to watch wether he’s onto explaining something solemnly or greatly upset about something. I also do like the “Everybody’s-Doormat-Character” who complains about that status a lot because….that’s quite literally my life. Zenji is very relateable for me, because I too have to deal with people who never listen to me and I too am DAMN EASILY EXHAUSTED. Zenji has both serious moments and comedic moments and both work for me and I ju ST LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

Why I don’t

Favorite episode (scene if movie) - CHAPTER 23/55 MY DUDES (AKA. AE PREMLINS) I GET EMOTIONAL EVERY SINGLE TIME, Chapter 152 (He has some damn nice panels in this, don’t judge me), Chapter 235 (listen, I also just get enjoyment out of my fave-glasses-person explaining the villainy of my other-fave-glasses-person, doNT JUDGE ME) also once again….Chapter 63 + Episode 13/Chaoter 28 because ✨ OTP Moments ✨

Favorite season/movie - Season 1

Favorite line - “I don’’t have an outstanding cooking sense, and my physical strength is below average. That’s exactly why I have a strong desire for ‘knowledge’. All so that an ordinary man like me can fight against all those geniuses!” (Best Chapter Chapter 55)

Favorite outfit - That one shirt he always wears I guess + his “Professor of Taste”-Outfit because he SMART !!

OTP - Him 👏 and 👏 Yuki 👏 Yoshino

Brotp - Him and PSD, most notably Shun Ibusaki. Outer-PSD, as I’ve said…I would have loved to see him interact with Alice Nakiri some more, given that I’d say they’re the smartest members in their Gen. Him and Hisako Arato also sounds like a nice duo. (Also hear me out, his interactions with Etsuya Eizan would be hilarious, I deserve to see t h a t. Someone give it to me, pls. Additionally…..Nene. Just give me the Glasses-Characters-Of-SNS-Spin-Off come on)

Head Canon - I’ll just pretend he also went into the world of business in Les Dessert, because he kind off does in SnKimiko as well….Try to Stop me. Fumio and him have occasional, but intense battles in chess.

Unpopular opinion - *DEEP BREATH* My son tends to get underestimated a lot and be brushed off as just a comic-relief and no-E10-Material and I just…..*sighs* People in the past, did consider Shun E10-Material and Zenji had the exact same score as Shun in the AE Premlins, so I can’t see why he shouldn’t have the same potential. I mean it doesn’t matter because we never got to see any of the two in the Elite 10 so meep, but I am just….sad about the fact that barely anyone is giving Zenji even a chance.

A wish - *cries* I just wanted to see him cook again*

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - *LOOKS STRAIGHT AT LES DESSERT 3 IN CONTEMPT*, (also honestly him (+ Daigo and Shoji) lusting after those two “hot” judges in RDC felt really out of place, out of character and just cringe…and I hate it.)

5 words to best describe them - Intelligent. Cautious. Calculated. Whiny. Serious.

My nickname for them - NUMBER ONE SON

#Gofer answering to stuffz #So this got a ton longer than I intended it to be #damn its....1 am ahhdhdGHG

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365days365movies · 4 years

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January 14, 2021: GoldenEye (Epilogue)

WhoooooooooooooOK. Look, I’m gonna get through this, but I’m gonna have to go in a different order. I’m going from highest score to lowest, because that’s how I’m gonna be able to get through this. And for the record, I’ll be doing some...ranting...at certain points. This is gonna be interesting. Why? Well, let’s start with this little tidbit.

79%. Not my score. That’s the Rotten Tomatoes score for this movie. The average rating on RT is 7.1/10. My score...my score will not be that high. Maybe not terribly low, but...it ain’t gonna be that high. ‘Cause I got some problems. OH BOY...do I got some problems. And this might even be controversial for some, but if you like this movie, I’m so happy for you.

I...I was not that lucky.

Review

Direction and Action

To Martin Campbell: great job. I actually mean this sincerely, great job with the direction of this movie, as well as the cinematography. Good job from you too, Phil Méheux. Some of the shots and framing of this movie are great, and credit absolutely deserves to be given for that. And the action! Look, as stupid as some of the framing is for it (we’ll get there, dear GOD, we’ll get there), the action is all dynamite. From the jump into the dam at the beginning, to the VERY impressively brutal fight scene between Alec and James at the end. Absolutely impressive, and gets a 9/10 from me. Yeah, really. No complaints here.

Wow, a 9? That’s a big deal! I thought you said you hated this movie.

I don’t hate everything in this movie. But some things...some things...we’ll get there.

Cast and Acting

I can’t believe I’m saying this, considering my opinions on a lot of the movie...but Brosnan is a pretty great Bond. I hate the lines he’s forced to deliver, I hate the relationships and lack of emotion in his dialogue (WE WILL GET THERE), but I don’t actually blame Brosnan for that. He does a great job with what he’s given. And that basically goes for everybody else...almost. Famke Janssen. Xenia...she, uh...HOLY SHIT DUDE. She fuckin’ GOES for it. She’s the craziest Bond...Girl...wait. No, wait, she isn’t the Bond Girl. SHE’S THE HENCHMAN. Shit. OK, I’m on board with Xenia and Famke Janssen’s portrayal. Over the top, sure, but I can deal with that. Sean Bean does great, no surprise there, and I even like Izabella Scorupco as Natalya. Alan Cumming...Boris....yeah, no, no pass for Boris, he’s obnoxious as hell. I know you’re a great actor, Alan Cumming. So why in the hell do I NEVER SEE YOU IN ANYTHING GOOD??? Except X2, you rocked as Nightcrawler. And y’know what, Judi Dench’s one scene as M was FANTASTIC. Seriously, more of THAT, please! So, yeah, when I really think about it, high marks here, too. 8/10!

And an 8! For somebody who liked Connery, I’m surprised that Brosnan was OK for you. And yet, you said you didn’t like this movie? Why?

Just keep reading. It’ll aaaaaaaaaaallllllll make sense soon.

Production Design

Not much to say here, except...yeah, it looks great! From Arecibo Observatory to the streets of St. Petersburg, it all looks great. Iconic sets, like that Soviet statuary. Costumes, ESPECIALLY Xenia’s, were also pretty good, although not particularly iconic. Definitely no real problems here. Good job, Peter Lamont! 8/10 for you and your cohorts.

These are pretty high grades, 365.

I know. I am aware. We are not done.

Music and Editing

Before I talk about Tina Turner’s song, I have one thing to say...the triangle guy in the orchestra was having a FIELD DAY. My girlfriend and I watched this together, and she noticed it first. Now I can’t unhear it. Everybody wants to be heard...even the triangle guy. Listen to the theme from the tank sequence, you won’t be able to unhear the triangle guy going CRAZY back there.

OK, the opening sequence might’ve been crazy compared to others, but the song was...pretty good. Absolutely not my favorite Bond song (GOOOOOOOOOLD-FINGAAAAAAH-WHAP-WHAAAAAAAP-WAAAAAAAAAAH), but still good. And the rest of the music for the movie is good...but I won’t be buying the soundtrack, sorry to say. Still, Éric Serra did a good job, I mean that. With all that said, 8/10.

Gee, 365, you sure you don’t like this movieGIVE IT A GODDAMNSECONDOK???

Plot and Writing

...Hey, uh...you OK? Looks like your eyes have gone blank there, 365. You all ri-wait...wait, what are you doing with your thighs? No! NOOOOOOOOO-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHATETHEWRITINGANDPLOTINTHISGODDAMNMOVIE

OK, take a breathtakeabreathtakeabreathtakeaBREATH. The plot and writing of this goddamn movie cripples EVERYTHING ELSE IT HAD GOING FOR IT for me. And for the duration of the film, I’ve been trying to figure it out. What was it? I’m gonna have to break it into pieces here.

Plot first. At the end of the day, the plot isn’t actually bad in and of itself. However...it is the most UNORIGINAL, HACKNEYED, SPY MOVIE, JAMES BOND CLAPTRAP THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN. The entire film just feels scripted, and not in a good way. And I know that, logically, some things are going to stay the same. He’s gonna get the girl, there’s going to be a dastardly villain, there’ll be gadgets, Bond’ll be cool, and there’s the music. Let’s take the music out of it, obviously, and look at the other core elements of a Bond film, shall we?

The Girl: I might’ve liked Natalya, but the characters had NO chemistry. Can’t say that about Brosnan and Izabella, they did fine with what they were given. But the characters weren’t given a single satisfying reason to get together. They needed to either meet earlier, or you needed to give her something in her character to get her to convincingly fall for Natalya. The work needs to be done with her. Because, let’s face it: James Bond is a man-whore. It’s literally a part of his character definition. He doesn’t need an excuse to fall for her, she needs an excuse to fall for him. And we never get a convincing reason for their relationship. Ever.

The Villain: Gaaaaaaah, Alec! Alec was actually an interesting character! His motivations actually did make sense, and play on a VERY tough event in the history of the UK. While it certainly doesn’t justify his actions, it definitely makes him more three-dimensional. Which is why it’s a shame that the film works so hard to flatten him out. They turn him from an intriguing individual, to someone whose ultimate goal is to steal ALL OF THE MONEY IN LONDON!!! MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!! This guy is a Baron Zemo, a THANOS. Doing terrible things for understandable reasons. Should’ve leaned into that more, instead of just turning him into Evil James Bond. One of the biggest failures of this movie, seriously.

Gadgets: WHAT GODDAMN GADGETS??? The acetylene torch at the dam? Barely a gadget, and you know it. The car? NOPE! Agent Wade takes it away! Here’s an ideaUSE THE CAR IN ST. PETERSBURG. Instead of TEARING UP DOWNTOWN ST. PETERSBURG. Real subtle, Bond, real great work AS A SPY, YOU FUCKLEHEAD!!! What about the pen? Oh, the one he uses by ACCIDENT? Yeah, not counting that either. The belt? Nope, not even touched. And lastly, I cannot stress this enough, WHY WOULD YOU TEASE ME WITH THE GODDAMN CAR MISSILES, AND DO NOTHING WITH THEM??? Yeah. Still not over the car thing, I mean that. Enraged. So enraged.

James Bond: Pierce...you did a good job. You did a great job, even. It’s not you. It’s the writing. See, Bond lines used to be cool. But then, Schwarzenegger happened. And Stallone happened. And literally the entirety of the 1980s and early ‘90s happened. And all during that, Bond was still around, and still pumping out movies. All of Connery’s wit and cunning got Flanderized into almost a parody of the original character. And Brosnan...Brosnan does his damndest with those puns. Those awful...AWFUL...puns. If they were here and there, sure, I could’ve taken it. But at times, it felt like EVERY OTHER LINE!!! At a certain point, the film felt less like a Bond film, and more like a parody of a Bond film. EXCEPT, that unlike Austin Powers, IT. WASN’T. FUCKING. FUNNY. But you may have noticed something...that has nothing with the plot. That’s all writing. OK, let’s get into it.

The writers need help; they were clearly locked in a room for too long until they came up with “good puns.” It didn’t work. And the problem stretches far outside of the puns. Lemme give you an example, yeah? At one point, Valentin asks if Bond has “joined the 21st century,” then notes that M is now a woman. That comment makes no sense in two ways. One, that phrase is meant to state that an individual is somehow dated, out of touch with the present, stuck in the past. Yet, working for a woman is most certainly a more modern trait, so that makes no sense. And secondly, THIS IS 1995, IN THE 20TH CENTURY. And that’s a relatively minor nitpick, at the tip of the iceberg of this film. There are plot holes, missed opportunities...long story short (too late), the writing is TERRIBLE. It’s goddamn awful. It’s so awful...that I’m going for 1/10. Yeah. This movie PISSED ME OFF.

There. You get it now? Most of the elements of the movie were fine, but the writing TORE it for me. Which leaves us with…

A 68%.

*wakes up* W---WHAT? You tried to Xenia me, and you still gave it a 70%? What about the whole “My score will not be that high” thing? HUH?

I mean...it wasn’t. The average rating on Rotten Tomatoes was a 71%. Mine’s a 68%.

Because here’s the thing: it’s honestly not a bad movie. It just infuriates me for one reason. By all other metrics, this movie’s totally fine. It’s just the unoriginal plot and cringeworthy writing that tears it down a peg. Just imagine if the writing was good. This movie would be considered one of the best action movies, instead of just once of the best James Bond movies. And even then, if you ranked these movies by Tomatometer, GoldenEye’s only #9. That’s beneath Lazenby, a Moore, two Craigs, and the first four Sean Connerys. In other words, it’s the worst Bond movie I’ve ever seen...and I’ve only seen the first four Connery movies. So, really, this rating makes sense when you think about it.

There it is: a good action film with shitty writing. That’s GoldenEye. And PLEASE disagree with me, I’m one of the outliers with this movie. It is a beloved classic for many, and I respect that. But for me...it’s a 68%. Just my opinion.

But this isn’t fair. I want me a good Bond movie, or at least one that I like. Already seen Goldfinger, so...let’s go for the Bond after Brosnan, shall we?

January 15, 2021: Casino Royale (2005)

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jancys-blue-bayou · 5 years

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Yeah so Stranger Things 3 was painfully bad

Yeah yeah big negative post about ST3 coming up. Just... holy shit, my expectations weren’t exactly high but jesus I didn’t think it’d be this bad. Wow. Mindboggling to think it was made by the same dudes who made season 1, it feels like a different show. Some of the worst writing I’ve seen in a long while, parts of season 3. This got very long because it was very bad so it’s under the cut. Starting with the few positives and then away we go...

Of course there were bright spots, I thought what we got of Jancy was generally good (just wish there had been more of it. Just like... more lines between them, a few moments could’ve gone on longer...like after the awesome hospital fight scene jesus just let them fucking desperately embrace and profess their love for each other, it was awesome how they relentlessly kept going at the monster to save the other but can we please just have a few more seconds for a comfort moment after?) I liked how they handled the fight btw, apart from the Oliver Twist comment yeah yeah heat of the moment but still felt OOC with that loa a blow. Nancy and Karen scene was nice and um... well Max and El bonding was nice. And um... Mr Clarke! And I kind of dig Murray.

My main issues with it:

- The product placement. Jesus Christ. Okay, ST has always been a show with noticeable product placement. But it’s gone from things like a Coke can prominently on display on a table in s1 (El crushing it with her mind) to literally having a straight up ad for Coca Cola in the middle of a tense scene. That’s the big offender that made me go wow you’re really doing this to yourselves huh, there are many others ofc (everything at the mall ofc, Slurpees being in hyperfocus for a bit, and a lengthy talk about Burger King. These smaller things one by one wasn’t the worst but all combined jesus it was too much, all added together and then bam the Coke commercial was wow... Congrats on the like 80 sponsorship deals and esp the new ST themed arcade hall by Coca Cola hope it was worth completely selling out for.

- Relatedly, the original fucking song. Holy christ talk about jumping the shark. That was the oddest, cringiest, weirdest shit I’ve seen in a long time. Gaten’s a great singer don’t get me wrong, but there’s a time and place for it and an original song stuffed into the middle of the tense climax of the season is not it Duffers. Just a blatant cash cow, hoping to bring in more money via the song.

- Robin. Sorry but holy cow what a Mary Sue. Hey here’s this super cool girl who’s cool™ and funny™ and super smart™ and NOT Nancy (like they seriously for real said in a scene, they actually for real had to pit Robin and Nancy against each other for no reason). And she conveniently has these specific skills needed for the plot (which she gets involved with for no real motivation other than having nothing better to do, lazy writing). Said skills were so over the top unrealistic it completely sucked me out of it. To start with, this random girl in small town Indiana in 1985 speaking French, Spanish and Italian um... does Hawkins High have the most amazing language department or what? Very un-american in that case... and okay then, her knowing those languages wouldn’t help jackshit with understanding Russian. Russian is a notoriously difficult language to learn and it is not related to the Romance languages at all, Robin knowing those languages and oh, having “a good ear” bc she’s in band (?!??! what?!) wouldn’t help her at all. Having the alphabets on the wall and listening to strange words in a foreign language she has no understanding of would never work. No way for her to understand what is she’s hearing, what letters are in the words just, nothing. It’s completely ridiculous. The good thing is she’s a lesbian, crushing Stobin that made me LOL. Btw, I don’t get what age they were writing her as? She’s still in school but later says she and Steve was in the same class, and she knows who Nancy is but Nancy, who is still in school, doesn’t know her even though presumably they’d be in the same year at little Hawkins High? Was it just sloppy writing or what?

- Too. Much. Plotting. What happened to “this season is about the characters” um there was just so much plot stuff and action sequences and barely any character driven moments at all. Those intimate moments that made s1 amazing. Generally regarding plots felt the Russian plot was messy and not well-written also what happened to the US government as the big bad? Unless they’re setting up a big Cold War thing for s4. And felt the zombie thing was wasted, could’ve been used differently like I’d have thought it’d be used like the MF spreading it’s influence over vaster areas and being harder to keep track of etc.

- Too little Will. Will’s whole thing with feeling left out etc was just dropped halfway through it felt very undercooked. His arc was just dropped wtf.

- NO BYERS FAMILY INTERACTIONS WTF. The sequence in the first episode when Jancy has overslept and Joyce wipes the lipstick off Jonathan was cute (but could’ve been even cuter I’d have preferred a short fluffy Jancy moment here just as they wake up before they realize they overslept, bc we didn’t get much pure fluff, and then it’d been awesome if Joyce would’ve just called Nancy into the house to mess with them). But like... that’s kind of it. For the Byers family. Talking to each other in the whole season. When they partnered Jancy with the kids many thought awesome we’ll get Byers bros talking and teaming up (and Nancy and Mike) but there was just nothing. Not even a family hug after the battle at the mall, just Joyce hugging Will, with all this tightknit little family has been through you telling me Jonathan wouldn’t join in?

- No Will and El bonding wtf? SUCH a wasted opportunity. They’ve built this unique awesome connection over s1 and s2 and now in s3 would finally be able to bond normally for real and... nothing.

- Turning Hopper back into an even bigger jerk than he was at the start of the show, neglecting all his character development. What was the point of the whole El and Hopper thing they devoted so much time to in s2 if Hopper’s back at it with the yelling and all now? And jeez his constant whining to Joyce about every man she interacts with holy christ that got annoying. Generally Hopper was such an annoying asshole this season I was so tired of him by the time he “died”.

- TOO MANY CHARACTERS. Jeez, I know I’m on about it all the time but jesus christ there is way way too many characters in this for 8 episodes which hurts the narrative and screentime for interesting characters is just... yeah.

- Speaking of screentime, did we really need that many identical generic fight scenes between Hopper and the Russian guy? Jesus Christ it’s so boring watching fight scenes like that, so repetitive (compare to the hospital fight scene which was dynamic and awesome). Also regarding screentime did we really need to devote so incredibly much of it to Steve and Robin being comedic relief while drugged? Yeah yeah mix light and dark and all that but jesus christ at that point in the narrative shit has hit the fan lean into the dark.

- Totally expected of course but still, the furthering of Steve Memeington. My god they actually had him literally call himself daddy... christ.

- The Billy and Karen/all the other middle age women remains gross and bad in a billion ways. Also completely pointless for the plot, they could’ve come up with any other way to get Billy to the factory. And what did it give Karen in development? Just the realization that yeah I’m tired of my husband but I’m not leaving my family and I’ll stick with him just ‘cause? Okay but did we need her almost sleeping with a kid a year older than her daughter for that? Icky. Also the editing of the scene where Billy hits her was so weird. Also that was weird as fuck.

- The ending. Okay christ my main gripe with this is because of a point above: No Byers family interaction at all! Joyce and Hopper talk briefly about her thinking about moving once or twice but she never talks about it with her kids... obviously she did in the timegap but we need to see that to build to the thing. Having no Byers interactions the whole season and then just oop we’re moving is so weird. I’m also not sure if Joyce’s motivation for moving (her bad memories of Hawkins) would be enough. For sure an argument for it, but an argument against is the one Hopper presents to her (and though he’s not around still there’s still a support system around them there, especially for her kids which she loves above all). Speaking of her loving her kids above all, she knows they love their friends/girlfriend/boyfriend to bits, have walked through fire with them and are each others support system as mentioned, would Joyce really just uproot them from that? There’s also some purely practical things that stuck out to me immediately: the timeskip for the epilogue makes it so they move when the schoolyear is already well under way and Jonathan has started senior year, feel bad for Jonathan there in a number of ways. Also, how the hell did Joyce manage to sell her house and what did it fetch? Her rundown house on the outskirts of a now infamous town with an incredibly bad rep? Even if the buyer bought it for the land the land doesn’t look special, just find it hard to believe she could get much for it. And where did they move? Where did she find a place? And work? Did she have something lined up or? I guess we’ll see.

- Oh and speaking of work, that was another thing that was just dropped, the mall killing downtown and the protests just fell out of the story. But, with what happened to the mall wouldn’t business come back to downtown (possibly reason for Joyce to want to stay if Melvald’s going out of business was another reason to move).

- Sorry but Mileven took way too much space.

- Again, no Jonathan and Will actual brothers bonding. But a whole lot of Steve and Dustin meme fanservice wank.

- Erica is just the sassy black girl trope non stop the whole season and nothing else and it’s so grating and... I was gonna say disappointing but I had no faith in the Duffers regarding this. Just because a bit character becomes a meme doesn’t mean they need to become a main. *cough* Steve *cough cough* Sorry.

- Last but not least, the woobiefication of Billy. Uggggghhhh. Disgusting. And having Max cry over him WTF?!?!?!?!?! staaaaaaahp.

#stranger things #stranger things 3 #stranger things 3 thoughts #stranger things 3 spoilers

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