#like before i get it cuz he didnt trust anyone but now????? you didnt need to be screaming crying throwing up the whole time you were there

[felixiskandar]

listen i get it. i GET IT. Claire is SUPPOSED to be the manic pixie girl. She literally takes Carmy to an Adult College Party that makes him feel normal and experience things he missed out on so I GET IT. shes carmens normal that he never got to experience......BUT.

it leads to nothing. the ending of that relationship is nothing. i think id hate it less if it happened after carmen gets out of the walk in and hes dead set on ending the relationship. they wouldnt even need to show it just imply it. and like i dont blame claire for hearing all that and going "oh i dont want to date someone who feels like this about me" because WHO WOULD but i just cant agree with the way they got there. they were set on paralleling episode 07 s1 with carmen having a big blowup and it didnt work AT ALL. specially cuz youd expect a carmen post episode 07 would try to be calmer and trust on his staff which he has been shown to be doing for the whole season?????

listen i know the consequences of your actions can be frustating but making your character take steps back in development for a breakup scene.......i dont know.

maybe i am insane AND a hater but its such a non rewarding scene in any way it frustrates me. why r u doing this to me etc etc

[tojiscrack]

liar liar chapter dropped when i needed it WOO HOO (im getting sick and my fav character died on friday and im in mourning)

this time while reading i wrote down my thoughts along the way in my notes app, so i will be expressinf how i felt throughout the chapter one at a time 😊😊😊😊😊

and i will be expressing off topic thoughts first before we get to. the um. THING. 😐

i am unable to hear or read the word liar anymore without thinking of this fic ‼️ i think the liar liar brainrot has gone too far, i feel bad for the people who havent discovered this yet

NOBARA X MALAKAI MENTIOON ‼️ queen nobara please give him a chance THEYRE SO GIRLBOSS X TOTAL LOSER

jujutsuhighships is SOOOO MESSY oh my god i kinda live for it tho

GOJO BREAKINF THE FOURTH WALL!!!!! i love how you write him, people mischaracterize my goat SO MUCH its so refreshing seeing how you portray him

megumi STILL making mermaid jokes is sooo cute lfmaoa they will be married and like 80 years old (speakinf it into existence) and he’ll STILLLLL be cracking mermaid jokes god i love him

the little bonus scene at the end was so cute and funny 😭 i ADOREEE little megs and y/n so much theyre so funny

now um. onto the MAIN topic of this chapter.

“wow not kamo bagging both megumis sister and the love of his life” (straight from lukas notes app) (oh how WRONGGG i was) (cant believe i was this naive)

KAMO IS A LIAR. A FILTHY LIARRR. (what did i expect its called liar liar) like i thought he liked tsumiki and WE WOULD MOVE PAST THISS GODDDD I WAS WRONGGNGNTN 💔💔

i love how gojo is a HATERR of merkamo 😭(yes i gave them a ship name) moving kamo away from her is sooo funny, bro is ROOTING for mercupine (as he should) also him standing in between them so they cant see each other?? holy shittt satoru i love you

“do you know if shes seeing anyone?” um yes she is??? duh shes seeinf megumi obviously 🤨🤨 (speakinf it into existence AGAIN) number one dreaded question of the century BACK AWF BRAH 💔💔 please… theres a theme of LYING in the story… need the people tsumiki asks to LIE.

i feel betrayed. I FULLY BELIEVED THAT KAMO DID LIKE TSUMIKI PLEASEEE WHYYYYY 💔 im in agony.. now i get what you mean by the angst CUZ WHYATTTTT.

forgive me if im reading this wrong because i am sick and soo sleepy, but like.. y/n wasnt really herself durinf the tutorinf session?? LIKE she didnt talk as much, and didnt joke around as much?? it doesnt make that much sense to say its cuz she was “shy” either because social anxiety fears her, but she felt so serious?? idk i am spitballing here, but she didnt really feel like her “true self” around kamo, as opposed to the scene after it (w megs, nobara and yuji in satorus office) where shes how she has acted throughout the rest of the fic. (prayinf its not because she somehow likes him back)

LAST THING BEFORE I END THIS VERYE LONG ASK cuz holy shit this chapter was EVENTFUL. but i assuming megumi already knows his feelings for her??? its not explicitly stated, and i remember someone else sent an ask and said that hes also never stated it, but im going into this with the assumption that megs likes her, whether hes aware of it or not (she is NOT aware of her feelings for him whatsoever, mermaid is clueless)

sighh although my feelings for this chapter have been made CLEAR. that doesnt deny the fact that youre modern day shakespeare, your writing is TOP NOTCH, and i am truly blown away by your writing every time. its like your words put me in a trance in a way, im so mesmerized by your talent.

AHHHH, A LONG ASKKKK YAYY :😫💗

real for the whole fav character dying thing :/ JJK236 SPOILERS IN RED: i haven’t been the same since september 20th 2023 :( — but he’s coming back in jjk272 trust 😋💘

wait but that’s a good idea, writing your thoughts as you go. I GET YOUR FULL EXPERIENCE 🫨❤️

imagine this tho, if you can’t think of the word liar without thinking of this fic, i propose the new theme change to be symbolic of the fic itself! —> this emoji 💜 shall now represent our little family :)

i’ve also done it for a very specific reason, in that i have 4 fics planned: levi ackerman 💚 , megumi fushiguro 💜 (both have already been published and are ongoing) and satoru gojo 🩵 or 💙 , and finally, eren jaeger ❤️ (these two have yet to be published, but a rough draft has been laid out).

went off topic for a sec but back to liar, liar! 💜 (the purple heart being used as a meme recently is perfect for megumi and y/n too LOL)

the whole nobara and malakai thing will not go anywhere 😭 like, malakai’s just a weirdo and she does nawt condone such behaviour. but also nobara’s type was specified with one specific person — oda nobunaga — a man who was literally NOTHING like malakai mortimer when he lived 💀 source: jjk official fanbook (guys i’d never lie about canon c’mon)

jujutsuhighships is like those typical ship accounts you’d get back in school and stuff, but in this story, it’s not ‘cringe’, yk? they post goofy pairings + real couples + theories to be messy but you get the idea 😭

do NOT get me started on the mischaracterisation of my bbg satoru ☹️ i add a touch of fanon in him, in that he’s more of a parental figure to the students here than he was in canon, plus he’s a little more dramatic here (but i put that in ‘cause they’re not in the other canon verse where he’s hiding behind a mask of joy due to suguru’s defection + the responsibilities he holds on his smexy shoulders). no, he is not a womaniser, no he is not a twink where his whole life revolves around suguru. he’s just satoru here, and he’s happy and well and goofy :) i’m glad you like the way i write him! it makes me feel like i’ve done him justice <3

megumi and the mermaid jokes will live on forever. until. yeah. not gonna scare you ‘cause the next chapter won’t be out for a while, so 😭

the drafts i have of little megumi and y/n would put u in a coma. the shit they got up to is wild (their families were the main cause even if they deny it all the time) 😋 i’m saurrrr happy you liked the bonus scene tho! i had such a fun time writing it (fun fact: it was inspired by me and my sister YEARSSS ago when we’d made a failed attempt at committing suicide ‘cause our mother made fun of us publicly for cleaning the kitchen wrong 🌝).

HAHAHAHA 😭 your notes app was just against you the second you decided to put ur thoughts in there for this chap 😀 i had you fooled and i’m so glad 😋

no one in this story has any rizz except for satoru, maybe. and we don’t even get to see that ‘cause he’s too busy enjoying his non-stressful life here 😊

kamo is a liar. y/n’s a liar. megumi’s a liar. everyone’s a liar 🫢 you just wait till more lies reach the surface MUAHAHAHA nah i’m jk. i just love playing around with YOUR emotions specifically my honey bunch sugar plum i forgot the nickname i had for u sorry 💀

merkamo, interesting. i’d give them mermotionless (her nickname merged with the name she put in his phone — kamotionless’s student) unless we come up with anything better ‘cause mercupine was just *chef’s kiss* 😫

satoru started shipping megumi and y/n from that one scene in middle school onwards (the airport one). he’s their biggest cheerleader, and while he won’t avidly push them together, he’ll do whatever he can to segregate them from any other potential interveners 🫣 this concept was actually pushed forward by that scene in season 1 of jjk, early chapters, when he purposefully placed yuji’s room next to megumi’s. he pushed them to be friends and it worked out great for them. he’s a little more in-their-business in my story tho, but for obvious reasons (he’s got nothing better to do, honestly).

despite this, he forgot he even did any of that when he drove them all home that day 😀

tsumiki is the nicest person ever, and if she thinks kamo’s nice, she’s gonna make it so that she’s honest with him. all this ‘i don’t want kamo’ thing you little liars have going on makes me think about that one line — he said he wasn’t gonna waste his time if she’s interested in someone else.

it’s MEGUMI the porcupine you guys should be attacking 😭 tsumiki asked him first before reporting back to kamotionless, all he had to do was say ‘no she’s mine i’m the alpha’ and tsumiki would’ve gone ‘ok sure, sorry kamo, you’re too beta for her, she’s taken by her alpha’ 🤨

but alas, you guys are the readers, and ur thoughts make me laugh any time so idm what you think 😋

now you know what i mean by the angst? GIRLYPOP IT STILL HASN’T ARRIVED YET 😭😭😭

i need you to remain calm (or go feral) and breathe (or don’t) and be relieved (or panicked) that i didn’t just slap you in the face with the angst just yet…

‘forgive me for reading this wrong’ — I LIKE IT WHEN PPL GET THINGS RIGHT AND WRONG, IT’S FUN FOR ME SO DON’T YOU DARE APOLOGISE ☹️

this isn’t exactly a spoiler so i’ll just go ahead and say it: you’re right. she wasn’t exactly acting as herself. eh, weird way to put it, she’s still acting as herself, but yk how if you speak to someone you’re not close with, maybe just acquaintances with, you might just be nice to them or whatever, but not hit them on the arm the same way you’d do with your best friends or siblings? it’s just that, really. we’ve established that she and kamo have never held a solid conversation before, it’s all new to her.

but then there’s the whole ears feeling hot thing that happened which is a separate thing ig. no one in this story has rizz, just to reiterate that 😟

whether megumi’s aware of how he feels or not is certainly up to ur interpretation. i know the answer as the author, but i’m not gonna reveal it until it’s become a very in-your-face kinda thing. so… do with that what you will :)

right about y/n tho. she’s just clueless.

[azusaru]

im so tired of acting like im happy at school. at school, im a completely different person. i try to act compassionate and kind so my classmates will like me (even though i hate them) because i need attention so desperately. i get so hurt and insulted by their "jokes", they think its okay to harass and ridicule me all because im the "smartest" and "nice". aaaaaall my classmates act like im their friend but we're not fucking friends!! EVERYONE LEAVES ME AT LUNCH and all my classmates see, and thats when their true colors come out. they really dont give a fuck about me. i sit by myself after everyone at my table left, and its so embarrassing and humiliating, because the table i sit at is right in the middle of all the popular kids, so they were always looking at me, they probably saw me as a pathetic loser who had no friends. And to be honest, thats exactpy what i am. i could never even move to sit with the people i wanted to sit with!!! I CANT TALK AND I CANT COMMUNICATE PROPERLY. ALL I COULD DO WAS INSULT THEM AND ACT LIKE I DIDNT CARE BUT I CARED SOOOO SO MUCH!!! I did that to cohen even though i wanted to be closer with him so badly but i just pushed him away and was a jerk to him, and now he doesnt eat lunch with me anymore, now I dont even have a single class with him anymore. it honestly might be my fault for the most part, everyone doesnt wanna be my friend because i act like a sassy little bitch to everyone when they dont give me the attention i want! Yes maybe im mad about how my classmates use me and trample over me, and how they make fun of me for being upset about my grades!!! they make fun of me for wanting to get high grades yet they still beg me for my help!! Theyre so fucking hypocritical and i hate them so goddamn much!! how am i supposed to trust anyone?? they already had their little cliques and groups a long time before i came to this school, cuz i cant even fit in anywhere even if everyone is "nice" to me!!! even if i can talk to many people in several different friend groups it doesnt even matter because i dont have a friend group where i fit in. theyre such users, theyre so fake!!! they put on their cute uwu "cwan yuu hewlp me??" masks to fucking GUILT TRIP me because they take advantage of the fact that i feel like shit if i cant help people, because THATS MY ONLY SOURCE OF VALIDATION. they use it against me!!!! only want me when they need my help with their academics. they only want me when they need answers. they only want me when the hw is too hard for them. they only want me when they dont understand the material. they dont want me. so stop saying youre my friend, stop using me to boost your fucking ego. fuck this, fuck you, fuck everything, fuck everyone.

[littlenekosfan]

ok as promised, this will be hopefully short (lol its not) and not too redundant from what i already said before (bc god i talked about this scene too many times)

what exactly happened in this scene ?

before we dive into it, we need to cover all the character’s background, most importantly jugram and bazz

jugram comes from an environment extremely poor in affection and socialization, he’s also living with an abusive guardian, this will greatly affect when he will meet bazz for the first time, but we do see him healing from that trauma (which was physical abuse, i dont want to suggest sexual abuse despite the uncle’s comment bc i dont think im comfortable to tackle this topic and it wont be useful in this post since, abuse is abuse) 

*healing in my definition doesnt mean trauma or any situation alike the initial trauma cant be triggered anymore, it can, the person just doesnt show signs of trauma on daily basis, they live “normally”  

bazz comes from a wealthy family, but his social circle seems to be very poor and he isnt the type to look for validation, especially from adults, he has a strong self esteem but he still needs some kind of attachment to someone, someone who can relate to him. he is also attentive and kind, he just doesnt show it like any kid would, he’s gonna hide it with some tough love

*note here, he is NOT egoistical, especially not at this age, and if anyone wants to prove this scene below as him being self centered, then you have problems, he even says it himself to jugram “ You’re not as hopeless as all that! Don’t worry yourself! --  オマエ言うほどショボクねーって！大丈夫大丈夫！-- You’re not as a hopeless as you say you are! Don’t worry, you’re fine!” (im not a fan of viz translation, but these are fan translation) all the pink i highlighted are him showing EMPATHY/SYMPATHY, he knows what’s going on and he HELPS him out, he cant get him out of this situation (which is completely understandable since he’s a kid) but he still helps him out, the bunny, the pin, him telling jugram to not listen to adults, these are all actions he took to say “hey, i know what’s going on and im not letting you down” he could have just met him once and left and if you think he helped jugram to build trust so he can “use him”  1. he never knew about the sharing power thing be he was a genius BEFORE meeting jugram 2. the way kubo drew these panel, the sudden glint in his eyes, his sudden change of behavior from loud and noisy to serious talk are all factors showing bazz being genuine about helping jugram 3. he’s a fucking child please 

i didnt cover deeply their bg but i think that will be enough for the rest

after 5 years has passed, jugram and bazz grew stronger but also closer, we can see that with how jugram willfully followed bazz when their houses were burned down, how jugram trained the sword and bow to grow stronger to be on bazz level when it comes to the day of the plan, a plan of which they BOTH agreed to follow, not for the same motives but ill come back to that,, how jugram show so much worries about bazz when he wants to join the army (he even suggests to go home, they live together) now i see you saying, what about bazz? 

okay, for bazz its a bit more complicated bc his trauma isnt as visible bc he never healed/coped with it, and ill say that once, someone who wasnt able to cope/heal (in a healthy way) from trauma doesnt make them evil, they may do wrong things because of it, but that doesnt make them evil, im saying this bc bazz never realized trauma affected him during these 5 years by consuming him everyday not letting him accept and move on with his parent’s loss, and no, jugram wouldnt be able to help him to cope/heal bc he wasnt affected with the same kind of trauma, jugram wasnt hurt about his uncle’s loss like bazz with his parents

this scene is about bazz facing the reality about his situation, its true that jugram cant form a bow, and he tells us that he probably knows the reason of it, yet he doesnt tell jugram (cuz why the hell would he tell him he’s a “defective” quincy when he isnt sure, its just stories, and the fact they killed his kind? that’s just very upsetting and not good as motivator, its just not worth telling him, esp with his background)

the biggest mistake these two made about the “whole yhwach killing” plan is never talking about it, they literally say they never “voiced their intention to kill yhwach” and this is a huge mistake bc not only they dont have the same intentions in this plan but they also didnt talk about all the possibilities they could face and what they would do, they just did “what felt right”

bazz wanted to kill yhwach because he killed his parents, his village, his life, and this wound was so deep, it would never close unless yhwach was killed by HIS OWN HANDS, he always had the intention to do it himself (and before you catch me with the panel of him as a kid saying “lets (us) kill yhwach” to jugram, he assumed he would want to kill him too bc he lost his home, but jugram just asked if he needs to join

lets continue with jugram, jugram WILLFULLY joined bazz, bazz never said he needed him for the plan or he should join him, he just asks if he “needs” to join and at they end, they just sticked together since they are FRIENDS, they both were spared from the fire at the same time for a fucking reason, so yeah, jugram’s intention in the plan wasnt to kill yhwach for himself, it was to help bazz in killing yhwach bc this is what HIS friend wants, if that meant im helping bazz, if i get stronger, that i no longer live with my uncle, ill take it, jugram initially doesnt look so invested in joining bazz, that’s bc of his trauma due to his uncle, but i genuinely think he wanted to live with bazz, a friend, and later, his ambitions will start to tilt with personal conflict

NOW, bazz continue with his monologue facing the reality before him that jugram might not be strong enough to continue with the plan, yes, bazz is underestimating jugram but NOT with ill intent, he’s conflicted, he couldnt bring himself to abandon him for the plan, nothing says he would abandon him as a friend, if you want another line “i just couldnt bring myself to tell him to not continue with the plan with me but he trained so much.. i just cant” does that make more sense? (i just rewrote it my way, this isnt a translation of any kind) bazz wonders if jugram realized that bc that’s the reality, what they worked so hard for might not go as planned and despite jugram’s hard work, it might not be enough, knowing bazz dedicated his 5 last years of his life in training, he wasnt going to just call it a day and say “friendship is magic” and abandon his plan for his friend, he needs a wake up call to let it go... and he got it

then we are getting the scene with hubert, bazz is stubborn bc his plan is right there, he felt ready, he wasnt going to let the occasion slip out, and this is why he doesnt listen to jugram at all despite his worries, jugram is so hesitant and worried bc he isnt ready, he doesnt want to get into trouble, jugram genuinely cares about bazz

and NOW we can talk about “the scene”

after yhwach crushes everyone with his reiatsu, bazz (and hubert) is literally the only one being able to raise his head, you know what this means? he was gifted from the beginning, and also his sheer fucking will to grab yhwach’s attention despite his monstrous strength shows us how bazz was ready to give his everything in the heat of the moment

here, that’s one key moment, bazz sees jugram not affected at ALL by yhwach, which makes no sense since bazz knows he’s “a better quincy” jugram (objectively) but also, yhwach picks jugram, he even knows his name, which begs the question

did yhwach saw the event of this scene and acted according to it? id say yes with how he knows his name immediately, but that also helps him in knowing what words to pick to make jugram side with him, separating him from his friend

so here, yhwach gives jugram the role of “adviser/right hand” whatever, its the position they were aiming, jugram knows the importance of this role, so he recalls all his training and hard work, and even for him it shocks him bc he never envisaged to be picked, to go this far about the plan, taking it would be selfish, not sure what to do, he turns back to bazz to ask him what to do, bc afterall, this revenge plan isnt his, its bazz’, jugram is just helping 

and we get this painful page... i will go over the visuals of this panel (i did it in my friend narration post) but this is the second key moment, the misunderstood hate. jugram seeked advice from his friend, what should i do next? and he is met with a glare which he doesnt understand the meaning, bazz here doesnt feel hate, he feels resentment because this isnt what was supposed to happen

and here he confirms it was a two people thing (he says WE in all translations) and if it was just going to be one, it would be HIM, bc its HIS revenge, HES the one who lost everything, its only fair to him to be bitter about not being picked especially when he’s the genius among other quincies, getting closer to yhwach was to get his intention, to be strong, strong enough to be his right hand, little did bazz know, yhwach was looking for something else completely... that’s why he says he had the talent and jugram didnt, its true, he was powerless, and if it had to be just one, it would be bazz, but they never talked about it, they never planned the possibilities, thus the gaze exchange with so much confusion and hurt feelings

jugram mistook bazz anger for resentment toward him, which isnt the case given what bazz thinks but jugram cant tell, he asks “why, why arent you happy for me?” bc he thinks this is going according to the plan, jugram IS getting closer, but not in what bazz had planned, if jugram was taken, what about bazz? would he ever get the chance to kill him??? ofc he’s angry, this is his place and its stolen by his friend

now jugram tries to tell yhwach he should pick bazz bc he’s much better than him, but after to many rereadings, im not sure what feeling bazz is expressing here, jugram shows uncertainty but lots of guilt, he knows he’s doing bazz wrong if he took the position, so he tries to fix his mistakes (which isnt btw blame it all on yhwach lmao)  and bazz... i dont know, i dont know why he would grind his teeth over that, its like if he was irked, i would expect an emotion of surprise but with a hint of pain, but feel free to tell him what you think

so here, we can see jugram’s emotion change, yhwach explains to him is “true power” what he truly is as a quincy, he isnt a defective one, he’s unique and needed, and this reaches jugram personally bc this was his personal conflict, he struggled very much with the fact he’s a quincy but cant be a “good” one... it always bothered him bc despite the hard work and desire to belong, he just couldnt... and yhwach gives him what bazz couldnt, a value to his quincy heritage (and no, bazz couldnt do that, i just stated before that people like jugram were killed for being “defective”)

i like how the next panel we dont see jugram’s face bc it shows we lost him, he’s as shocked as we are but his mind just isnt with us (the readers, but also as bazz) he’s completely taken by yhwach bc he said the words he needed to hear

then we have bazz’ inner thoughts that explains to us all the little elements mentioned before and how it makes sense jugram is the chosen one, 

now we’re around key moment no3, yhwach framing bazz having used jugram for his own profit WHICH ISNT TRUE... yes he may have felt it, but he could have never guessed it that it was because of jugram, he didnt have a single information about the exceptional quincies except how they were killed as kids, that’s it, bazz knew he was a prodigy and he was training this whole time, ofc he would grow stronger, because of jugram? yes, that’s a FACTOR among others. 

this face shows nothing but shock, he clearly didnt know, saying he used or abused jugram is just not reading the manga, im not sorry

and this continues the key moment no3, he confirms the framing making bazz the betrayer in this scene when he literally did nothing wrong, and jugram believes him not because he’s naive but because it makes sense, he knows bazz wants to kill yhwach, that he’d do a lot achieve this goal, to think his own friend who go this far? its possible, and i dont blame him, esp with how they never talked about the plan and their ambitions... 

jugram still in shock that his own friend betrayed him, yhwach pats his head and tells him ”i need you”, these signs of affection and how he gave him a position where he can be accepted as a quincy right after he was abandoned was the perfect moment to just take him on his side

key moment no4. the trauma, now i know, i havent mentionned that word much during the scene, but ill do now so you understand how this is a traumatic experience for both of them, here we have the clear change of position for both characters but also their relationship, friend becomes end... jugram by willfully defending yhwach with barehand shows he no longer is friend with bazz and has sided with yhwach bc yhwach valued him, he wasnt going to lose that, - bazz is completely broken with his friend action, the fact he defended his very own nemesis, this was is enough to traumatize him 

now, about the traumas, we’re gonna go with bazz since its more present here (where jugram its more in his younger age) bazz has been consumed with vengeance for the past 5 years never being about to move on from and when the occasion is given, he takes it without thinking twice, yhwach didnt scare him, he was ready to give his everything, but he’s surprised with jugram being chosen rather than him, angry at the situation, he glares at jugram and before yhwach reconsider, he’s being told he USED his friend during this whole time and all his work was just stolen from him, he snaps and tries to kill yhwach for good, only for his friend to betray him... bazz’ action are very mcuh justified especially as a kid, he’s not perfect, his persona is nothing like ju, he acted very ic in this scene, yet it still broke him for the strong self-esteem he has. everything he had, was burned by yhwach, and now, his only friend, was once again taken way from him and the cut is deeper than before... so deep that he doesnt even think about his parent revenge anymore.. only jugram

for jugram, very uncertain about this whole killing yhwach thing, he tries to not engage until he’s forced into the situation, yhwach picks him but he seeks bazz’ advice since this isnt about him, where he’s only met with a glare... yet, he doesnt stop, he tries to continue with the plan until yhwach tells him he’s a “good” quincy which touches jugram personally, and to get rid of bazz, yhwach frames him as a betrayer, at this point, jugram is under the shock with the army, bazz’ negative reaction, a man telling him he’s a good quincy, that his friend betrayed him, this is a lot for jugram, he’s so underpressure and snaps, so uncertain from what he should do, he picks the safest side which yhwach perfectly made himself to be. it wasnt the right choice, it was the “right” (safest) choice to make under a traumatizing experience

we later see how jugram reflects this very scene of him being told he’s yhwach’s other half as a regret bc he couldnt weight the good and bad, which one he should go for, and its totally understandable for his young age, very little life experience and the stressful situation he was put under...

i couldnt plug this anywhere but it really breaks my heart to realize how bazz’ told jugram to not listen to adults... 

this was much longer than planned but i hope it clarifies what this scene shows us in terms of effects from trauma on a kid

[starfanatic]

Luke Skywalker vs Rey... Nobody

I hate the argument that a lot of sequel trilogy stans use whenever anyone criticized Rey or labels her a Mary Sue. It’s probably the weakest argument a sequel stan can ever possibly say to me. (Besides the people hate Rey because she’s a women argument).

Lets compare them shall we?

Luke Skywalker in A New Hope is whiny, inexperienced, and very naive. There is multiple moments in a new hope that proves this. When he was whining about not wanting to stay on the moisture farm and wanting to join the Academy like his friend, Biggs. He constantly was slightly annoying throughout the film, especially to Han. When Han named his price and Luke was like “We can buy our own ship with that!” or when Han was flying the Milennium Falcon and Luke was practically yelling in his ear to go into hyperspace. Han and Luke did not get along at first because of Luke’s behavior. Luke went against Obi-Wan’s orders and saved Princess Leia, not thinking of the consequences. How he could possibly be killed or put in a cell with the Princess. He doesn’t think of a plan to get out AFTERWARDS only the spur of the moment. He was constantly shown to be inexperienced and needed his friends help or HE WOULD HAVE DIED THE FIRST MOVIE. While on the millennium falcon, Obi-Wan taught him things about the force. Maybe not a lot but he knew how to use the simple basics of it. Like sensing the force and letting it guide your actions (as Obi-Wan was trying to teach him before). For once Luke listened and trusted Obi-Wan and destroyed the death star.

Lets do Rey now WHOOP. So far the only personality flaw she seems to have is that she’s also naive? She had the same wide-eyed innocence as Luke had but it’s different and here’s why. Rey never suffers for any of her so-called almost non-existent flaws. Rey is experienced enough to hold her own in a fight against men WAY stronger then her (that’s realistic though but that’s one tool in her belt). She’s bilingual. She can fly the millennium falcon better then Han Solo even though she never flew one before. She is constantly saving people by herself, never the one being saved. (Before y’all bust my balls, Rey escaped that damn starkiller base by her damn self. Luke didn’t and couldn’t). She uses powers that takes years to learn and the excuse is the force dyad. So she downloads Kylo’s skills and training. Great. Magnificent. Rey is on a amazing start. And this is the first movie! She can only get stronger from here.

Luke is more mature and responsible in ESB. He’s a respected hero of the rebellion. Luke still struggles using the force. Even with the training Luke goes through with Obi-Wan he had to truly focus to pull the lightsaber to him. Plus as a common occurrence, he still needed help from his friends. He’s not invincible. He actually gets severely hurt (makes sense). He goes to Dagobah to get trained (because unlike Rey he doesn’t have the “learn force jedi shit that takes years to learn” cheatcode). And then he’s impatient. He wants to learn how to use the force so he can help his friends. Luke is again reckless, impatient, and he’s also insecure in his own belief. Him not believing he can lift the X-wing was why he couldn’t. Against his master’s and Obi-Wan’s orders he decides to save his friends. It’s a noble reason to but it still got him fucked up. He got his hand cut off, he was beaten and humiliated, and then he was told a horrifying revalation that twisted around everything he knew and believed. He was scared of Vader, you can see it on his face, but he did not succumb to fear.

Rey goes to the island to convince Luke to go help them fight the war. Why doesn’t Leia go instead? Who knows. Why does Luke act the way he does? Who knows. Luke dismissed her and was quite rude to her. Rey was having cute little talks with Kylie Renner in their little force dyad BS. She called him a monster and a murderous snake. I like the insults. It fills me with joy! But then she finds out the truth. Rey did do something reckless and stupid but as usual she doesn’t suffer the consequences to her actions. Technically she’s morally superior to Luke because she saw the good in him and felt like she could turn him to the light (after slicing his face open. Ok). Rey decides to give herself up to the First Order thinking Kylo would save her. And he does. So she wasn’t even wrong... Rey fight the very elite guards of the (bootleg emperor palpatine) Supreme Leader Snoke. Reminder, TFA and TLJ are like 3-4 days apart. She had zero training within these days. Luke refused to train her so don’t start that bullshit. Luke trained her for like 5 minutes and none of that training had anything to do with lightsaber dueling. Rey is then told she was a nobody. Now why did Rey cry about this? I truly don’t know. How the hell would Kylo accurately know that Rey’s parents were nobody? Didnt Rey been know this from the force awakens? Eh whatever. She tries to force pull the lightsaber from Kylo Ren and do a dumbass tug a war instead of walking up and grabbing it. It reminds me of JJ and Rian fighting over where the star wars sequels). Anakin must be screaming and yelling from above... or below... idk. The lightsaber then breaks. Rey then saves her friends by showing her once again superior piloting skills that rival or is possibly better then Anakin Skywalker himself. Hitting 3 in one shot? You go girl! She then uses the force to effortlessly move the big ass boulders out of the entrance to save the resistance. Last I remember... Luke struggled to do that with a few way smaller rocks and was also focusing hard to do.

Luke is finally at jedi status! Woohoo! Now Luke first saves Han from Jabba. It shows his very dark side tendencies by choking the guards (like father like son). Luke thinks of a actual plan before going in (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT). Luke “Chanel Boots” Skywalker goes to Yoda on his death bed. All he wants is answers but Yoda wants to be cryptic as fuck. Luke has been lied to for years by his mentors and his family. Luke’s father isn’t hero Anakin Skywalker but actually a big, asthmatic, merciless, murderous asshole who has a choking kink. Luke then says he cannot kill his own father and Obi-Wan, who believes Vader isn’t a human but a machine, has no faith in Luke. He believes that Luke will fail and the Empire would win. Luke feels the conflict and good in him that nobody else does. He knows that Vader is unloyal to the emperor and he actually cares about his own son. When he is with Han and Leia he realizes he made a mistake and has a bad feeling about it. (*gasp* Luke is not being super reckless). He’s not arrogant (not in anyway) but he’s completely confident that Vader would turn. (He isn’t flawless there is still obvious problem with this plan he has. He fails, the empire wins. He dies, the emperor wins. Vader doesn’t turn, Luke fails. Luke almost succumbs to the dark side and it’s actually plausible he might fully turn. He wants to desperately save his friends and his father has done horrible things to Luke. Luke had every reason to kill Vader. But he doesn’t. He throws the lightsaber away and foolishly puts his life in Vader’s hand. Luke doesn’t save the galaxy because he can make things levitate with the force. He wins because he had the strength to resist the dark side and has so much love and pure good in his heart he saw the good in his father.

Rey starts off with a training session (no idc it’s too fucking late now. 3 movies in? Is she doing reverse character development?) and basically Poe gets mad at Rey for not accompanying them on missions. I still don’t know why she needs training, when she is at a decent strength to fight elite guards, fight kylo ren, and a variety of other things that typically takes a long time to learn. After finding out Palpatine returned, Rey goes on a mission to find the way finder almost like a shitty videogame. I don’t even want to talk about the force dyad anymore because it’s fucking dumb. Rey gets chased by the force order and hear this out, FORCE HEALS (i forgot what the animal was but idrc). Which means Rey had the power to stop the painful truth of death themself. Why am I not surprised? Rey did something that no other jedi nor sith or jedi have ever done this. Anakin went to the dark side to save the ones he love. This movie was just a slap in the face to Anakin. Rey then fights Kylo Ren and lost??? again it seems a little too late and it also didn’t make sense. Rey defeated those guards all by herself with Kylo needed help from her. She’s obviously the better lightsaber duelist but hey, at least JJ was trying to mellow her out a bit. Rey stabs him while our beloved Princess died. She then regrets her decision and as always, doesn’t have any consequence to her actions. By the force I forgot, the whole scene where she is revealed as a Palpatine? Completely invalidates the first two movies but eh whatever. She uses a power that only the elite sith does... something Kylo Ren himself could not do (and he’s on the dark side). Rey “killed” Chewie but actually no she didn’t because Chewie is perfectly fine. Rey is supposed to be all dark and edgy now, “you don’t know me” BS. Yeah I’m sorry I won’t tolerate this because my only allergy is the fish smelling coochie bullshit called the sequel trilogy. Rey got scared of her dark self. Well at least JJ tried? Rey then almost gives up but Luke was like “nah fam you cant”. Rey dies trying to fight Palpatine but then as usual, she gets zero consequence cuz Benny Simp saved her using the force. Then she kissed him... no. No. No. This made my eyes burn like they just threw bleach in my eyes. It made no sense. “A Kiss of Gratitude”? What the shit was that? GIRLS DO NOT INSPIRE TO BE REY.

[laddieseddiemunster]

Could I please have a smidgen of Star dating the (she/they) reader but still being cool with the boys and maybe you and Star kinda co-parent Laddie headcannons? Cuz lets be real, he's a little kid and he still prolly needs someone to tie his shoes when he wakes up at night 😞👉👈 if not that's literally okay, how ya doin?

Your wish is my command :)

and I’m doing well! how about you?

Star x Fem!Reader Co-Parenting With Laddie

when you first approached star, you assumed laddie was her brother. she was quick to let you know that he wasn’t, and that they had no relation. just friends. when star first introduced you to laddie he immediately brought you into a hug. he looked up resting his chin on your stomach and said “hi! i’m laddie! what’s your name?”

as time went on you became a third parental figure to laddie. at first the boys considered killing you, but soon realized that that was out of the question. laddie adored you and he’d be heartbroken. obviously so would star, but David originally wanted to kill you because you took star away from him. Now he can’t. So it’s safe to say david isn’t a big fan of your addition to the family.

even with the times laddie had no problem with you and star dating. you made star happy and you made him happy, so he had no reason to complain. when you and star go on dates, dwayne watches laddie so he doesn’t interfere with your alone time with star. laddie usually catches on. with a small cheeky smile on his face he’ll walk away with dwayne and say “have funnnn.” laddie’s not dumb. he knows what a ‘date’ means.

you found out their little vampire secret from laddie. it was his first time spending the night over at your place and once it was midnight you noticed laddie was not tired at all. in fact, he didn’t even yawn until it was six or seven in the morning. you ended up asking star why laddie wasn’t tired and she explained to you the situation. she felt terrible about not telling you before, and she was surprised when you understood. it made sense to you. the boys only come out at night, they stay away from mirrors, and at a specific time of the night they leave to do...something.

sure, laddie is a great little kid, but he can be a trouble maker. you lost count on how many times laddie has ran into where you work with one of the boys chasing after him because he stole one of their motorcycle keys (it would be dwayne’s, paul’s, or marko’s cause laddie wouldn’t dare steal david’s). “[name]! help me!” he yells as he’s running as fast as he could away from whoever’s chasing him. they’ve gotten kicked out so many times that they mine as well be banned from where you work.

laddie also has the tendency to sneak into your house at random times. you have no clue how he gets in without a key, but he does. one time he snuck in and saw you and star asleep in your bed, and he climbed on and slept in between both of you. neither of you knew when or how he got in but you didn’t complain.

besides dwayne, you and star are the only ones who know how to cook, and cook well. the boys don’t have a kitchen so they can’t really eat anything healthy. laddie doesn’t remember the last time he had something other than fast food. the only time you let the boys use your kitchen was when your house/apartment almost burnt down. you learned that paul and marko can’t be trusted with your oven. instead, you decided to make them all dinner. laddie had missed his biological mother’s cooking, but your cooking reminded him of it. he even preferred it over eating out.

another thing to realized was laddie didn’t have a lot of toys. all he had was a teddy bear that his mother gave him. so you decided to take him to a toy store with star. you had just gotten a bonus from your job and you chose to spend the money on toys for the boy. you told him that he could get five toys, and it didn’t matter what they were. unfortunately for you, laddie is a smart kid, and you ended up spending almost 400 dollars. there was one toy which was a robot that needed to be plugged in, and he was devastated when star told him they had no where to plug it in at the cave. luckily, you told him he could play with it whenever he came to visit your place, and he was happy again.

laddie loves it when you get him new clothes. he’s been wearing the same clothes for a while and he’s even getting sick of them. you and star will buy him a whole new wardrobe and he’ll love it, but he’ll still put on his leather jacket over his new shirts because the boys gave it to him. laddie loves pajamas more than anything since it’s uncomfortable sleeping in his regular clothes along with the jacket.

going back to laddie’s teddy bear he cannot sleep without it. it’s the only object that he has left from his mother and it means a lot to him. one time paul was doing his usual tickle attack on laddie and to distract paul he grabbed his teddy bear and started to hit paul with it, but paul accidentally grabbed the bear too hard and one of its arms slightly ripped. laddie had started to cry and paul didn’t know what to do. luckily, star knew how to sew, so laddie sat in your lap and watched as she fixed the bears arm. when the bear was good as new laddie hugged star as a thank you, and he didn’t leave her side for the rest of the night.

star loves laddie, and she isn’t afraid to stand up for him. if some older kid picks on laddie she will tell them off. laddie is the baby of the group and no one hurts him and gets away with it. if you and star gang up on a bully then watch out. david doesn’t give laddie too much attention, but when laddie gets picked on he’ll give the bully a dirty look. dwayne just takes laddie out of the situation, and will buy him ice cream to make him feel better. paul will tell the bully to back off, and he’ll take laddie away like dwayne. marko doenst care if it’s a little kid. his fists are ready to punch anyone who makes fun of laddie. it’s safe to say that anyone who picks on laddie mysteriously disappears. if you ask what happened the boys will just change the subject.

david at first didnt like you for taking star away when he was trying to win her over. he slowly started to accept you when he realized that you made star happier than he ever did. once he got to know you he started to notice that you weren’t bad to be around. you were a nice addition to the group even if he didn’t like you at first.

dwayne had zero problem with you. the fact that you took care of laddie when he couldn’t, or just whenever you had the time to was enough to win his trust. occasionally you both will talk while taking care of laddie. there isn’t much communication between you two, but there isn’t any drama either.

paul mainly likes you because you’re really nice to laddie and everyone in the group. paul likes to mess with you, but that’s just the way he is with friends. he’ll make fun of you and star for your relationship, but he actually really ships you guys. he just won’t admit to it. paul is a trouble maker, so i wouldn’t suggest riding on the back of his motorcycle.

marko never really had a problem with you. he never wanted to kill you especially since you’re friendly to laddie. when he talks to you he usually falls in the same category as paul. he likes to mess with you. but, at times he’s calm and easy to talk to and befriend. he’s also pretty protective. he’d beat someone up for you.

[messiisgodibeliveinhim]

Taeyong

I just wanted to rant about everything that happened. So here I am.

So initially I didn't want to watch the concert because of the obvious lack of Taeyong. But i did watch it (ill*gally) on Twitter Live Stream, to see who would cover for Taeyong and how.

Okay, first of all, is it just me or was there an actual lack of preparation and production for the concert??? Like, compare it to SuperM's Beyond Live. The VCRs, the camera direction, the stage, the AR effects... Everything looked so good and exciting. But for this one, they didn't even try. The production was lacking severely and the AR effects were barely used. Everything looked rushed as if they didnt actually plan it set by set. The VCRs were just all the footages from other videos clamped together. There was nothing new or cool about this Beyond Live, even with the increased price. Overall, it looked cheap. I think, the only saving grace of this online concert were the boys themselves.

Secondly, the boys who covered for Taeyong did a good job. Obviously, no one can come close to even performing and delivering like Taeyong but the boys did fine, considering that they had to practice his parts for only 2-3 weeks. And it's a daunting task to fill such huge shoes. The pressure that the boys felt, especially the newbies Shotaro and Sungchan, to try to fill that gap, must have been immense.

But of course, NShittyzens took this as an opportunity to sh*t on Taeyong, saying stupid things like 'XYZ ate Taeyong up', 'ABC made Taeyong's song his own', 'MNO killed Taeyong's part and I think he should've been part of the original line-up instead of Taeyong', 'I hope my bias gets to shine now', 'My faves really took this "opportunity" and showed the world' etc.... Like??? Are you really that dense or just spewing bs like this cuz y'all want attention??? The same thing happened when Taeyong missed the KBS mid-year festival and the other boys covered for him for Kick It.

If y'all truly believe that you're bias only shines when Taeyong is absent, then it shows how insecure you are about you're faves talents and abilities. If you truly think Taeyong's injury is an "opportunity" for your fave, then there is clearly something wrong with you. If you think you're fave ate Taeyong up in any manner, then it shows that you just hate Taeyong. If you think Taeyong is replaceable, then you're doing piss poor job of convincing yourself. Taeyong doesn't need NCT, but NCT needs Taeyong.

He is not just the leader, but also the main dancer, main rapper, sub vocalist, the center of the group and the face of the group. He has also contributed to the group with over 30 songs and has choreographed for some of NCT songs. He is NCT's idea bank, with the numerous times he has come up with something new and interesting for their concepts or choreography (For Example: The Jungle Gym for Neo City tour, the epic finger move and Mark stepping on Taeyong for the Kick It choreography, the chandelier scene in MAW, etc) . Many professionals have constantly praised Taeyong for his creativity and excellent inputs.

Taeyong was there from the very beginning of NCT and has carried the group on his back for 4 years now. And he has always remained kind and humble, even with all the misdirected hate that he faced for years. He always puts himself down and praises all the members, no matter what. He has juggled between groups, 5 comebacks and numerous concerts, this year alone. His schedule list looks like the Bank Statement of one whole year. The way the man has worked for the past 2 years is insane. And upon that, the burden of being the leader of a group with 23 members??? Can y'all even imagine the amount of weight on Taeyong's shoulders???

And yes, the injuries he has constantly sustained for over 4 years now. We have seen various footages of him having neck braces, holding his waist and limping. He has also talked about the continuous back pain or how he was sick for 3 days after shooting a MV. SM had known exactly the extent of his injuries and still overworked him to the bone. Now his waist disc injury has relapsed and we still dont have a statement on his health or time of recovery on ANY of the SM Official Accounts. Not one word. We had to find out through a platform that's barely used and most non-twitteratti NCTzens didn't know about this whole ordeal until after the concert began.

What boils my blood is that SM knew about the relapsed injury way before, gave the boys enough time to practice Taeyong's part, but announced the concert by advertising Taeyong all over it, last Monday. And they literally only made the announcement after the concert ticket cancelation period was over. F*cking money whores! F*ck SM!!!!

The worst part of it all are the NShittyzens. Most of you didn't care about the fact that SM not only neglected the leader's health but also scammed Taeyong's fans. When TyongFs began to get refunds for the concert, some of you accused them and started dictating what they should do with their own money, pulling sh*t like- 'Taeyong as a leader, wants his group to do well. Now he would be sad knowing that fans dont care about the group cuz y'all are getting your refunds'. Really? Cuz most y'all who said this watched the concert illegally, makes it even more funny to me. And its none of you're business, how anyone else spends their money. And if you think Taeyong cares about SM losing money, then you're just stupid. If it's anyone in the whole group who'd say 'F*ck Capitalism!', it's Taeyong. So STFU!

Also, when TyongFs started demanding an official statement from SM about Taeyong, some of y'all went- "You're just a fan. Y'all dont have any right to cross the boundaries of Idol-Fan relationship and ask for personal stuff. Other artist fans didn't get any official statement, so why should you?'. We didnt ask for his f*cking medical records. We just want a statement from SM's official accounts about his health and his time of recovery. That's it. SM has refused to acknowledge the injuries of other artists before, doesn't mean that this pattern has to continue. And as fans, we are entitled to know about the artist, cuz WE CARE...! Cuz a waist disc injury relapsing aint a small thing. The amount of pain that Taeyong is probably enduring right now.... We dont even know the extent of it. We dont know how long he needs to recover or even how long SM will give him to rest. We don't know anything and we are scared. So just wanting a statement about it, isnt 'crossing the boundaries' as you put it. So again, STFU!

Y'all don't care about Taeyong, fine. The least you can do is respect him and not discredit his hardwork. After everything he has done and continues to do for NCT, y'all keep going with the 'Taeyong is the villain' narrative. He isn't stealing your faves lines or screentime. He isn't pushing them back to 'shine more'. He isnt the bad person you think he is. Y'all rejoicing now that he is injured, happy that your faves got to take up Taeyong's part or just hateful saying your fave was better than Taeyong.... It just ain't it.

No other group leader gets the kinda hate Taeyong does, even though he does 5 times the work for the group than any other leader. Yes, Taeyong has multiple positions the group, all deserved. Yes, he is a very charismatic and an amazing performer on the stage, that lures new fans in. Not his fault that he grabs everyone's attention. Yes, he is very talented in so many aspects. But that doesn't mean you get tobblame you're faves mistreatment on him, cuz he himself is being mistreated by SM. So don't come at me with you're 'SM's golden boy' bs! I will taze your ass and watch supernanny as you crawl under the carpet!

Maybe you're right about how you're faves dont get to shine enough when they're on the same stage as Taeyong, cuz his charisma and aura is very magnetic, you can't help but watch him and him only. I thought only TyongFs have this kinda tunnel vision but apparently, all of you have it as well....

Here's the thing. You don't like it when Taeyong gets praised all the time, whether its his dance or rap or anything at all. Cuz you don't like Taeyong. So why are you even focused on him and TyongFs. If I don't like anything, i simply ignore it. So instead of focusing on Taeyong, focus on hyping up your fave (again, by not dragging Taeyong, not even subtly). It ain't hard, trust me.

At least have the human decency to not rejoice over the fact that he is injured. The sh*t i see online everyday, some of y'all have totally lost it.

And lastly, no one can eat up Taeyong. No one can do his part better than him. Hell, no one can even come close to doing what he does. So get that delusion outta your heads. Its embarrassing.

[hereforchifuyu]

chapter two

its mr. 305

one day soon ill link all the chapters. today is not that day. anyways enjoy :)

I'd see one of them on the street and then all of a sudden the rest show up and like??? Did you guys teleport or something?? I'd been evading them pretty well, and by that I mean I started sprinting in the opposite direction of wherever I thought they were (and nine times out of ten, it wasn't even them), but the one time i decide to try and take the short way to where i was staying I got caught. I think this is a higher being telling me to exercise but I don't know.

Like I said, I was just trying to get in time for where I was going (a potential job interview sighs) and I heard a shout from...somewhere telling me to stop, or wait up, or something like that, but I hadn't connected with anyone so I did the obvious thing and ran like my life depended on it.

I was lucky I wasn't carrying anything, but also unlucky because my phone was in my pocket and I couldn't exactly lose that, so i was running with my hand grasping my phone while it was in pocket, which makes for a very awkward-looking run.

In the end, whoever was chasing me caught up, and apparently it was more than one person?? Like a whole group somehow ended up chasing me even though I only heard one voice yell/shout at me.

"There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere!" It was a blond in front who said that. I couldn't really see anything that was going on and was about three seconds from just risking it all and taking my phone out to turn the flash on. Darkness and I had a bad history.

What. What? What??? Why would you tell someone that. While they were in an alley, where crimes infamously take place.

"Do you even realize what you just said?" I said with a deadpan. My head whipped around at the sound of scuttling, giving up on being careful and bringing my phone out to turn on the flash. Turns out it was just some trash moving from the wind or something. "Why the hell—y'know what, I'm not even gonna complain. Just gonna accept the fate that has been handed to me."

I turned around just to scream, accidentaly forgetting the group of people were there, which made (some of) them scream, which made me scream, so it was just us screaming in an alley for a bit.

It stopped when a really tall guy stepped forward which shut them, which shut me up, and made me remember that, oh yeah I have a flash I could use to actually see them. Smooth brain moment.

I turned my flash (that I forgot to turn of haha #girlboss) towards them which made them jump at the sudden exposure of light, making me giggle a little, before I actually saw who it was and immediately deadpanned, realising exactly who was chasing me.

How many times do I have to ask for forgiveness for the thing that I did when I was six for you to actually forgive me. Cries.

"Oh shit, it's mr. clean lol."

"Did you just say...lol out loud?" Said (mr. clean) Draken.

"lol"

Hanagaki shook his head, before calling out my name, gaining my (and everyone elses #fanbehavior) attention. "How did you get the ambulence to come so quickly? On that night, a couple weeks ago?" Ah shit, why did he have to bring it up so fast, no introductions or anything.

Time to bullshit my way out of this. "Oh I heard sounds of fighting by the parking lot, and when I ran off to try and find where I was, I found mr. clean and company looking worse for wear, so yeah." I should for sure be nominated for an Oscar my acting is superb. Better than any actor out there. "Anyways, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back home, I have some things to take care of."

I took not even two steps before someone stopped me. It was Hanagaki, which was a little disappointing. "Actually, I do mind. Do you mind if we come with you? I swear I have good intentions." My eyes widened at his words.

"Do you know how sus you sound right now? Hmm...sus...sussy...A M O N G U S..." I tried to back away, but his grip was tight, surprising for his little twig arms.

They looked like toothpicks.

"Uh...I'll back him up. Besides Takemicchy has a girlfriend, and I don't think he's gonna be cheating on her anytime soon." I turned my head to where the voice came from just to see Mitsuya, honestly I could die happy now.

"Oh yeah for sure. If pretty man says its ok, then everything is good." I said with a smile. Simp.

"...You're just gonna agree? Just like that?" Questioned Hanagaki.

"Oh yeah. Like I said, if pretty man says its ok, I trust him with my life, so." I stared blankly at the group, waiting for them to start moving so I could go back to the place I (stole) was staying at. Also somehow they didnt notice my phone even though it was one of the main sources of light in the alley like 🤨 but okay. "So are you gonna move out of the way or no? 'Cuz I need to get back to my place, and apparently you guys wanna come with for whatever reason."

They moved out of the way (simoultaniously too, hella creepy) and let me lead the way.

I started walking off to my place, hearing the creepy sounds of people following me, but i shrugged it off and plugged in my earphones so I could listen to music, which they did not, in fact, fail to notice.

Mitsuya came up to me and asked what I was listening to. I decided 'Fuck it.' and gave him an earphone. He put it in his ear, and I might've forgotten to tell him it was super loud because as soon as I pressed play he flinched. Haha. I guess im just used to the volume (and to destroying my eardrums) that it doesn't affect me anymore.

"I apologize sincerely, I didn't know that you had inferior eardrums to me." I tried walking off after that but he grabbed my arm (made me blush a little) and looked at me weird.

"What do you mean 'inferior eardrums'? How can someone have inferior eardrums?"

"Oh heres how: you listen to really loud music your whole life, and then whenever you think its quiet, you turn the music up. And soon, you can't be in anyform of quiet without music/your brain being stimulated in general or you feel like you're gonna go deaf with how quiet it is." They all stared at me blankly, likely thinking 'what the absolute fuck' right now.

"How do—nevermind. How long is it until we reach your place?"

Aw, he's so sweet. I coughed before turning to gim and saying, "Uhm like...two minutes if we run really fast. Why?"

"How do you know the running time?"

"When you run from your problems (and people) you begin to be able to know the time of things like that."

"Oh."

I nodded my head before taking off. Not to get away from them, just because I wanted to. They shouted from where they were behind me before quickly catching up. Fucking long legged people.

After two minutes of running (like I predicted) we made it to where I was staying. It was just a glorified warehouse that took me almost a week to make it look presentable.

I walked in, hip-checking the door to get it open wider.

"And this, fellow comrades, is my humble abode."

[myidlethinkings]

So my girlfriend has been trying to have me read the Wheel of Time series since when she was just my best friend. I picked back up the second book recently but it's been a while since I read the first and she went on this massive "YOU WON'T REMEMBER EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST BOOK, LET ME TELL YOU"

This led to her Wheel of Time in 5 Minutes ™ lecture/rant and... I had to share this with the world. Enjoy.

Obviously every spoiler for the first book. You've been warned.

_______

k, eye of the world in 5 mins.

begins in the two rivers, emonds field, is gonna be bel tine and everyones all excited. rand lives further afield with his father and theyre bringing in brandy for the inn. rands all omg someones watching me as theyre getting in, tams all i cant see anything, rands all mustv imagined it. they get there. they hear theres going to be a gleeman. meets up with his bestie perrin and LOVER mat I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP who are both like yeah we totes saw the figure too. they go we'll tell the mayor tomorrow.

they see the gleeman thom and theyre all omg a gleeman, omg. then the two strangers, moiraine, who is the best character ever to character in any universe fucking fight me on that and lan, who are asking questions about the area and people and moiraines like oh hi child to nynaeve the wisdom whose like im the fucking wisdom bitch who the fuck are you. she then says to the boys hey here have this coin which is totally a normal coin cuz i might have errands and shit and theyre like holy shit anything you want.

then he sees egwene and hes all like omg the love of my life will you dance with me tomorrow at bel tine and shes all yeah sure in the afternoon cuz i got shit to do in the morning and hes all like wut? and shes all GETTIN MAH HAIR BRAIDED YO and hes all like holy shit that means shes marriagable, holy shit man.

then the peddler paidan fain rocks up and gets everyone in a frenzy over war wherever and false dragons and logain or whoever else.

rand and tam go back to the farm overnight before the festivities begin. shit goes down. trollocs smash in, rands all OMG TROLLOCS ARENT REAL THO LIKE WUT and tams all, fly you fool and rand runs into the woods. but then hes all, i cant fucken leave my father so he creeps back and in the shadows he sees tam creeping around with a sword and rands like DAFUQ why does he have a sword, fighting ensues, tam gets hurt, is dying, rand manages to get him back to emonds field with a figure trailing them.

tams delirious, starts talking about rands dead mother and then starts talking about a battle and how they all poured over the dragonwall and that it was snowing but it was so hot, battle is always hot and she was a warrior even though she was pregnant and she gave birth and died and how he took the baby and rand was all WUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. im gonna ignore that shit.

gets to emonds field. everything is in ruins. trollocs wrecked the shit there too. nynaeve is all like sorry dude, your dads gonna die. hes all fuck that, gets back to the inn where the gleemans like hey that ladys an aes sedai, she could heal him but i totally wouldnt because you never know what they ask for in price and rands all i dont care because HE IS MY FATHER. MY FATHER. HEEEEE. ISSSS. MYYYY. FATHERRRRR. thoms all, holy shit dude calm down hes your father. moiraine, the best character in the universe, heals tam, then shes all like look, you three boys need to come with me and rands all, well shit she makes sense and they go but then egwenes hiding too and shes all bitch im adventuring too and rands all AHHHH and moiraines all huh the wheel weaves what the wheel wills, whatevs, and they go on, with thom whose also like this place is boring asf, im coming on.

they head out, dragkhar fly overhead, moiraine like a mofo destroys them, they get to tarren ferry, cross on the ferry, then coincidentally theres a whirlpool and the ferrys destroyed when theyre on the other side and egwenes like HOLY SHIT YOU DID THAT and moiraines all cuz im fucking awesome and nobody can follow us now so stfu and they head on.

rand interrupts a lesson with moiraine teaching egwene the true source cuz egwenes got it. rands all FUCKING WTF and thoms all dude, leave it, you cant do a thing about it. Shes gone now. Why don’t you bang mat instead. I mean the mat comment never happened but I will ship them till my dying breath. moiraines all to egwene youll die if i dont teach you, there was another back in emonds who also had it but she managed to survive/channel in her own way.

egwene starts to unbraid her hair. rand has a crying fit. egwenes all fuck off man, i do what i want. mydraal and shit attack them, they get to baerlon safely. where the gatekeepers like the children of the light are around but they cant cause much trouble cuz the city watch hate them and the whitecloaks are little bitches. they get to baerlon. mat and rand walk around. they see a few of the whitecloaks, dane bornhold a young man leading the small group. mats like lol, watch this, enters a shop, climbs up the top and hurls a rock at them, loosening barels. rand has started to feel feverish and when the barrels nearly knock them over, rand stands there and doesnt hide and rands like lol and danes like dafuq are you looking at and rands like im looking at you what are YOU looking at and hes feeling really odd and reckless and danes like are you a darkfriend and steps forward but then the city guards turn up who hates the whitecloaks and they face each other off and mat hauls rand off all are you fucking insane, you faced him off and rands recklessness leaves him and he freaks out and they flee.

throughout this time and through the book all three have dreams but i cant be bothered to get into those, theyre basically all the dark one figuring out who is who, and they wake up after rats backs were broken in the dream to be all oh hey it was just dreams though, to find rats dead all over the place and other stuff. Moiraine told them early on to go to her if they have dreams and the boys talk about it and theyre like we should probably tell her but nah, she saes sedai and like, its just dreams yo, yeah a few rats end up dead but cool, its fine, we’re fine.

oh baerlons also where he meets min who can see things around them, like with him a sword that is not a sword and three women on his funeral pyre weeping and with perrin she sees wolves and mat dice and with lan seven broken towers and a baby in a cradle with a sword and blah blah. And she says she can see he loves egwene and egwene loves him too but theyre not for each other, at least not in the way they want to be.

then he returns and nynaeve is there and she is PISSED and is all like we're going home now and moiraine manages to convince her they are in trouble and nynaeves like ..... i dont trust you, but fine. and lans all how did you find us and shes all i tracked you bitches and hes all like, huh.

rand says to her later about MY FATHER HE IS MY FATHERRRR and nynaeves all awkwardly like er yeah totally, i totally dont remember when your father returned after adventuring with an outlander wife, that totally explains your red hair, er yea sure. but that above all they loved him as much as they wouldv loved any baby.

oh a bunch of times during the book people startle at him and him being so tall with red hair and grey eyes and say he resembles an aiel. oh, theyre also ta'veren, so extra special they draw people into doing stuff with their lives, they effect the pattern. moiraine also says the two rivers used to be manetheran, a fabled kingdom. that night shit happens and they run off. they run, fight, attack, fight, as they battle mat starts yelling out things in an old language he doesnt know, that moiraine says was a manetheran war cry and the old blood still sings.

theyre going to get outrun in battle and against moiraines judgement lan takes them to an old crumbling city shadar logoth which fell to the darkness and even trollocs and mydraal dont like entering it.

oh also tam gave rand the sword which is a heron marked blade and lans all like er only blademasters have these why did your father have one and rands all HES MAHHH FATHERRRRRR and lans all yeah but how and rands all he bought it from a merchant years before and lans all yeah that sounds totally legit.

they go into shadar logoth, the boys sneak off, meet mordeth whose all like lol here take the treasure and mats like cool but rands like holy shit he doesnt have a shadow and then mordeth goes all rahhhh and the three manage to escape and they return and ramble about what happened and moiraines like DID HE GIVE YOU ANYTHING and theyre all like no and mats like er totally didnt and moiraines like we have to move and they leave but then this shadow thing that can kill them separates them and theyre all separated and perrin and egwene fall into a river together, and nynaeve finds moiraine and lan and is all like I will cut you aes sedai for what you’ve done to all of us and moiraine is all lol, and rand and mat with thom end up on a ship, the spray, with bayle domon and theyre worried he’ll throw them overboard cuz of the trollocs that chased them but domon seems to think theyre after him.

moiraines like with the coins i can track them, but two of them have lost their coins (paying for passage on domons ship). perrin and egwene roam around a lot, finally meet up with a man elyas who can communicate with wolves. aes sedai once tried to gentle him because of it but it has nothing to do with the one power so it didnt do anything. theres hints he used to be a warder, but now he hangs out in the wilderness. he says perrin has the same thing, perrin freaks out. elyas is like ill take you to the next city cuz you guys are lost. they then meet up with the tuatha'an, the tinkers, who roam around and dont harm anyone even if theyre to be harmed. perrin cant reconcile that, hes all how can you defeat evil by that, but in turn they pity him as hes such a young, sad, violent man with his axe. his eyes start turning gold like elyas' and he starts to communicate with wolves like hopper and a bunch of them though he tries to deny it.

egwene dances with aram, one of the tinkers and perrins all wow what about rand and they eventually leave, though aram is restless for a tinker.

the leader asks elyas if hes found the song which is their formalities, elyas is all no we havent. the leader then tells him of a story he heard, of an aiel who crossed the waste and died, to tell them that leafblighter means to blind the eye of the world. then she died. they leave and then they then meet afoul of the whitecloaks who are fighting whatever and bornhold - danes father – and byar catches them. through the ordeal perrin kills two of the whitecloaks while hes being all half wolf in the battle and they take them in to be questioned.

nynaeve and moiraine/lan end up finding them, releasing them, the wolves assist, nynaeve gets left behind, lans all about to get her, moiraine reminds him of his oaths, nynaeve turns back up.

meanwhile rand/mat are at whitebridge and mats starting to get sick and suspicious. he had a dagger from shadar logoth. a mydraal finds them, thom hurtles his flute and harp at them, says to go, to leave. hes saving them because he once had a nephew who could channel and the red ajah gentled him, while thom was having an affair with the queen morgase of andor when he was a court bard and by the time he got to owen it was too late and hed not survived, which he always regretted and then because he left morgase the way he did she was pissed at him too. rand and mat run for it, rand sobbing that thom is dead.

they go from village to village to village, mat getting sicker and sicker, a young woman who ends up being a darkfriend tries to kill them, they escape. rand keeps thinking he sees padan fain the peddlar from home, whose actually a darkfriend.

moiraine tells nynaeve she has the power too, nynaeve has a mini breakdown. moiraine said it would have begun with a doing something she desperately needed then a few days later collapsing really ill and the illness disappearing quickly. nynaeve once said egwene had gotten sick as a child and shed healed her not knowing how, then gotten sick. moiraine says thats also how she found them to begin with, in the city, she could sense egwene.

rand and mat go to a poor inn, they try to rob them by locking them in the back. mats getting sick and even more paranoid. rand is terrified when he realises theyre going to sell them to a darkfriend and he prowls and prowls till the room theyre in explodes, the wall crumbling. rand doesnt know how but he thinks he did it himself. mat becomes blinded from it and starts sobbing.

they escape. on the run again. as mat is blind, rand takes care of him and mat in his illness is worried that rand will abandon him which rand would never do because mat is the LOVE OF HIS LIFE, rand ends up really sick, paralleling what moiraine said what happened to nynaeve.

they end up hitching a ride to caemlyn where they expect moiraine to find them, if shes still alive. the buggy driver talks about the queen. how elayne is the daughter heir and her brother is the first prince of the sword. its been tradition forever that the daughter heirs go to tar valon to train and the princes go be taught by warders. he mentioned tigraine who was the queen before morgaise, who disappeared mysteriously nearly twenty years ago, who left behind a son galad. morgaise married the husband and became queen and while she had elayne and gawyn, galad lives with them too, now the husband is dead. oh, also logain the false dragon is being presented to the queen as prisoner before the aes sedai take him to tar valon to gentle him.

they get to caemlyn, mats REALLY sick. rand leaves him at an inn, tries to go see the false dragon being brought in. he meets loial an ogier whose nice, whose like 90 but really young for an ogier to have left his stedding without permission. rand ends up thinking he sees paidan, but doesnt have a good feeling, tries to run off, falls into a castle garden. meets elayne the daughter heir who might actually be the most annoying character to exist, her brother gawyn. theyre like omg you look like an aiel. elayne then talks about gareth bryne the guard captain dude she ships hard with her mother. galad MY MOST PURE CHARACTER WHO I LOVE FUCK ELAYNE (not a spoiler, his name is of the most pure camelot round table knight) rocks up, is all, holy you broke into the palace. elayne whose a bitch is like how DARE YOU YOURE NOT MY BROTHERRRR and galads all we are siblings and my duty is to protect you and shes all you wont do anything with this rand ill invoke protection, then galad goes and tells the guards because theres literally a false dragon being brought in and tension is on the rise in caemlyn and hes taken to see morgase.

the red ajah elaida is freaked out by him, knows hes taveren, has a bit of a prophecy but it doesnt really mean much and morgaise is all look, we cant just arrest everyone, let him go.

he then races back to the inn, moiraine and everyones there, they all hug, then hes all like oh yeah mats sick btw. moiraine goes up and mats not just sick hes now tainted. she does the best she can but is all like he needs to get to tar valon to have the bond between him and the dagger properly severed. then moiraine meets loial who randomly talks about an event concerning the eye of the world. perrins all oh yeah thats like the dead aiel girl the tinkers spoke about. that changes the plans once moiraine realises the dark ones trying to get to the eye and shes like we cant get to tar valon yet we gotta leave now. they use the ways which loail knows how to use cuz ogier and male aes sedai made them together centuries before but now the ways are tainted.

theyre like the worlds between the worlds, can get to places quicker but it has the black wind thatll kill you. blah blah blah they use the ways, nearly die, but get to fal dara/shienar, which is sort of where lan is from. nynaeve confesses her love, lans all no i cannot, i cannot offer anything. it ends up that his parents had the throne but his ... there was scheming. His uncles wife wrecked everything, she escaped with her baby into the blight, lans cousin, nobodys seen or heard of them, moiraine suspects isam might be alive but GASP keeps it from lan. the seven towers crumbled, lan has a death wish, he believes hes the only one left so must die.

lord agelmar wishes lan would rise up the banner of the golden crane because everything about the blight is crumbling, lans like no, i have a new oath now with moiraine. lord ingtar is a fight me soldier who fanboys after lan. theres a battle going on in tarwins gap they desperately need help for, but lan says he cant. lord agelmar orders ingtar to accompany them to the blight and leave them cuz moiraines like we cant have anyone else come with us.

Paidan fain by this point has rocked up to shienar and tried to wheedle his way into the good graces of lord agelmar but hes all wtf you look like a creeper and throws him in a cell. Moiraines like I need to question him at some point.

moiraine then takes them into the blight to find the green man who can take them to the eye of the world. the green man rocks up, hes made of vines and flowers, takes them to the eye. two forsaken rock up. moiraine tries to fight, is knocked out, nynaeve and lan get knocked out, the boys run. the green man is destroyed by the forsaken. rand ends up destroying the forsaken, goes into the eye, channels the male source in there, realises he can channel, has a fight with the dark one - whose still bound under the seals, but rand believes he ended the dark one and its done. comes out, the others are recovering. brings out an old banner from the eye thats the dragons banner, broken seals from the dark ones prison, and the horn of valere. moiraine is all, we need to take these to tar valon. rands all, you do that, but im done with aes sedai, im not going to tar valon. im done. the dark ones dead and im going to do my own thing. he turns to egwene who backs away from him when he said he channeled, then she bursts into tears and hugs him and says shes sorry.

they return to shienar, fal dara, where there was a miracle in tarwins gap where they believed they saw the creator and that the light took on flesh - they saw an apparition of a man they didnt know as rand fighting the battle he fought. ingtars flipping his shit because he missed the battle while accompanying them, and then not even being able to accompany them the entire way. After all of his talking about going after a week rand is still there, finishing his sword practice with Lan in Agelmar's private garden and meets up with Egwene. He tells her that he will go away. Egwene asks him to come to Tar Valon with her and Nynaeve, itll totes be fun, I mean theres the red ajah and shit wholl attack him if they know but hey itll be fun, but Rand refuses. He says he'll never channel again. When she asks him if he'll be going home, he tells her that he'll never go home.

Moiraine is underneath Agelmar's private garden. She uses her blue teardrop thing she wears on her forehead to focus her eavesdropping on Rand and Egwene. Using it to eavesdrop was the first use of the One Power she had learned as a young girl in the royal palaces of Cairhieren.

Smiling, she says, "The Prophecies will be fulfilled. The Dragon is Reborn."

the end.

[drkcnry67]

Dance with me?

A/N: @obxmermaid​  this is day 15 omg thank you for the opportunity to make christmas stories this year. im honored that i can expand my writing fandoms. today we find that its before owls, before christmas feast, before their relationship was out in the open. this is the formal, this is the hogwarts winter formal. draco and Yn are not yet a public couple but this night Draco takes the courage to ask YN to dance and no one asks questions cause all cards and rivalry’s are off the table during the dance and for that day. so this is what looks like a friendly dance between a guy and a girl. but it is so much more than that.

pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

prompt: snowball fight/ winter formal

mentioning @sweetness47​

25 days of hogwarts

the yule ball, or in some cases what would be known as a winter formal is one of the most sacred events hogwarts has the honor of throwing every 2 years. its a grand event some people have their gowns and tuxes picked out months or years ahead of the event. 

but you had no gown yet for the gown you wanted was in london at a shop you had passed by so many times and the last time you did you saw a halter peacock teal floor length gown. it took your breath away. 

this was the gown you wanted but alas you had no time at that moment to get it. a few days before the ball you were watching the entire dorm obsess over their gowns, choosing hair and makeup. but you and draco hadnt even discussed going to the ball. 

or at least what would happen at the ball. but meeting draco for your session a few days before the formal, you were distracted and draco could tell.

Draco: something on your mind love.

YN: the formal is in 2 days and well we cant go as a couple no one outside of our friends know, and what if people ask questions. 

Draco: so we wont show up together but the formal is a chance for everyone to forget the rivalry’s and grudges and hard feelings are off the table. no one will ask questions if i ask you to dance. and whats better is this will be the first of many dances to come i hope. 

yn: i just wish i could walk in with you on my arm and not have to worry about a thing. 

Draco: i know what you mean but it will hopefully show the professors that even our rivalry can be put aside when it matters. 

YN: i hope so. i need a dress though. 

Draco scribbles out a quick fire message and sends it off... 

YN: what was that about...

Draco: trust me you will thank me later... just promise me you will have the time of your life at the formal besides we will dance and no one will say anything... besides i look forward to the end of the party, where you and i meet in the courtyard to just watch the stars and hide away for a kiss, all before returning to the charade and our dorms.

YN: so basically you have the entire night planned out. 

Draco: more or less yes... now go you need to have energy for tomorrow. get some rest my love. go before you fall asleep on my lap. 

YN: i guess your right, i will see you tomorrow in class... 

you walked out of the tower and back to your dorm. where you collapsed on the bed as hermione walked in. 

Hermione: so how was your tutoring tonight cuz? 

YN: it was fine... we talked about the formal... he has the entire night planned out but then i told him that i didnt have anything to wear. and before you say it cuz, its fine i mean im sure he will dance with me whether im in a pretty dress or my uniform. 

Hermione: i know we are gonna look killer at the formal or we are gonna fail trying to have a fun night. now what about your wardr... Oh My God! cuz get over here a box with a bow on it just showed up at the entrance.

you get up off the bed and run over to the entrance where Hermione was gawking at the box. 

YN: OMG what could be in such a large box... 

Hermione: well lets get it inside and happily look at this mystery package. 

YN: i think i might know who this is from... but yes lets get it inside before we do anything else with this. 

it was your own mind putting draco’s mysterious fire message with the sudden appearance of this box. the timing of it all was far too coincidential, but never the less you looked forward to whatever lay inside this box. 

You set it on your bed, you ran your fingers over the box, tracing the bow, tracing the box outline. this was when your cousin noticed an envelope on top of the box tucked under the ribbon. 

Hermione: maybe that envelope will explain better as to whats inside and possibly who its from... 

you grab the envelope and open it, its a list of what is inside the box as well as instructions. 

“this box contains the following items: - A-Line Scoop Neck Floor-Length Chiffon Prom Dresses With Beading Sequins in Ink Blue, - navy blue  Faux Fur Fashion Wrap, -a custom bracelet in rose gold, -a gold  Beautiful Rhinestone/Alloy Headband & -  Black Women's Leather Suede Heels Latin With Ankle Strap. do not open this box until the day of the formal. you will look beautiful. save me a dance or several.. love always Draco”

you sat back on the bed and smiled lightly as you tucked the box under your cousin’s bed and hid the note in your dresser, you giggled yourself to sleep that night. for you knew the next 2 days would be torture till the day of the formal anyway. 

you were the one person in this entire school who would ever take the dance not seriously. you were the only one whose heart would not allow you to fall in love with a person who did not share your heart. 

you woke the next morning to the sound of your alarm. you went to the closet and pulled out your uniform putting it on and grabbing your cloak before heading out of the room with your wand in your sock. 

YN (to self): i hope this doesnt mess up anything, tomorrow is gonna be a happy day. the next day is the formal, and I have the opportunity to show this school that even those who are rivals can become chill even in the midst of the old laws. i need to get to class so that way no one suspects anything. 

you made it to potions and smiled slightly as hermione was sitting beside your seat. draco had followed you inside. you knew that hermione could feel the happiness flowing out from you. 

You were the one person that Hermione could trust and likewise her for you. But it was now to your surprise that she passed you her notebook with a few simple words on it.

"Draco won't stop glancing at you. His pupils dilate when he stares at you. It's like he is mentally undressing you or something..."

You reply back with a simple phrase.

"he I'm sure is just removing a few layers, back to when we were in london and we went swimming in a private pool. We made out for hours. Now we will discuss this later."

you slid her back her notebook and both of you paid attention as snape decided to begin his lesson with a pop quiz type thing, you and hermione being the 2 smartest witches in the room decided to let the other students have a chance to answer the questions. 

Snape: yn tell me what is the common use of wolfsbane?

YN: wolfbane used to sedate or subdue a werewolf. it is also known as acanite or commonly found in the form of a blue flower, it is in some cases a rare find. 

Snape: and how exactly does one give wolfsbane to the werewolf?

YN: it has to be while its human, most times wolfsbane is used to snuff out the werewolves in human form before its too late. 

snape: i would like each of you to take one of these flowers and for the next class prepare to brew me some wolfsbane if you wish to pass. now before the end of class today copy down the board, we will be studying wolfsbane for the next week. 

you went to your notebook and copied down the board. it was very distracting when you knew your boyfriend was stealing glances at you...  this made it very hard to concentrate. 

you wrote a note on your notebook and slid it to your cousin... 

“im getting antsy, cuz i am really anxious...”

she replied with the typical responce.

“dont worry girl, im sure you both will have your alone time later... think about it this way, in 2 years you will be able to marry and there will be nothing anyone can say to stop you.”

you had to internally laugh...

“me married can you imagine that... god if i know much more about that than you do... by the way i am so nervous to see what is in that box... like what if it doesnt bring the correct appeal...”

you sighed as your cousin wrote her responce.

“chill girl, your gonna rock that formal... now finish your notes so you can get out of here and be with your man.”

You smiled as you finish your notes and wait for Snape to dismiss the class. You stared at the ceiling for a few moments trying to keep a cool head.

Snape: alright those who finished the notes can leave a few moments early, those who haven't you have 5 minutes to finish those notes.

You and Hermione got up and walked out of the class, you walked by where Draco was sitting you had used a slight of hand to slip him a note.

You knew he would read it after class, you also knew he would thank you for it later. But you and Hermione took off and walked back to the court yard.

Where you both parted ways you both had picked a random slot for your separate ways. You were off to the quidditch tent to prep for the upcoming Christmas match, Hermione headed to divination.

You were one of those few captains who would take half a period out of your entire day to spend it preparing for a match that was a week and a bit away.

You had to come up with a strategy that would knock your match out of the water. you could feel something strange something abnormal as you stood in the tent. 

the earth began to quake, the tent came down on your head before you could move out of the way.... you were covered in tent, and one of the tent pole was on you too heavy to move. 

you held your wand up... 

YN: periculum!

you sent the sparks and then passed out. you knew someone would possibly come find you. you had to have faith, you had too believe that one person above all others would see it. 

meanwhile, hermione had bumped into draco in the hall on the way to divination, she told draco that she last saw you in the courtyard... draco and hermione then saw the sparks. both of them went to find any professor they could cause that was the rules. 

they ended up spying mcgonigal, running up to her in a hurry they approach her with the news of the sparks. 

mcgonigal: miss granger, mr malfoy come with me we will investigate this immediately. 

the 3 of them hastely rushed toward the sparks, seeing the collapsed tent on arrival, mcgonigal waves her wand and sets the tent right, they all went inside and foudn you there after. 

mcgonigal transported herself plus you draco and hermione to the hospital wing. madame pomfry immediately got involved, she was pushing everyone back... but the only person who had to leave was minerva. 

hermione and draco now remained in the room to wait whether and when you would wake. your body had gone into a state of shock, the pole had bruised you a bit and thanks to the miracle potion that madame pomfry had administered to you, you were healing nicely. 

hermione: come on girl, come on we still have to rock this formal, come on please wake up come on cuz... we both need you to wake up. 

draco: don't you dare leave me, you can't, we haven't had any time. Come on YN wake up, open your eyes. We need to have our day in the sun! I need you to open your eyes so we can live our future together our way.

Madame pomfry heard what Draco said deciding not to say anything she just came back round to your bed side and administered a second dose of medicine.

Madame pomfry: take a bed each of you. Get some sleep, you both will be alerted first when she wakes. Try not to worry she will pull through she is a extraordinary girl.

Draco took a bed near you, Hermione took one on the other side of you. They wanted to be the first people's you saw when you woke up.

They tossed and turned but eventually both fell asleep. it was 8 hours later that an announcement rang through the school...

Minerva: attention students the quidditch field is off limits due to an investigation of recent events. someone brought the tent down on ravenclaw Yn. note that the perpetrator who is responsible if a student will be immediately expelled and sent to the ministry to await trial. we take this seriously. please be sure to make good notes for your fellow classmate as she is soon recovered in the hospital wing thanks to madame pomfry, classes go on as scheduled and the formal is still happening, thank you for your attention. 

both draco and hermione sat up a few moments after at the sound of your groans. they both looked at you in time for you to open your eyes. 

hermione: YN...

Draco: YN... your ok!

madame pomfry walked in at that moment as well to see you sit up. 

Madame Pomfry: YN your awake wonderful how are you feeling. 

YN: like i was hit by a unexpected brick wall what happened?

madame pomfry: you were found under the collapsed quidditch tent, you were brought to me bruised and unconcious. these 2 were among those who found you. you are pretty lucky you werent seriously injured. your bruising has gone down, you will stay in here for a few more hours then you can go back to your dorm. it is my recommendation that you get plenty of rest and then you go to the formal tomorrow and take it easy... your cousin will be allowed to stay with you tonight so she can make sure you get the rest you need. 

now that madame pomfry had come to see you hermione got off the cot she slept on and came to hug you... you flinched a bit but returned her embrace, Draco approached from the other side and touched your shoulder. 

hermione let go of you as she went to madame pomfry and began asking her for a written report for hermione to deliver to professor McGonagall. while both hermione and madame pomfry werent looking Draco came to sit on the edge of your bed, he smiled lightly... 

Draco: you are awake. i was so worried about you. 

 YN: strange thing is i dont recall the tent coming down. i remember being in there working on my strategy for the christmas exhibition match, when the earth shook and thats when everything went dark. i wasnt even done when everything happened. i am so sorry i worried you. 

Draco: you are such a brave girl, im very lucky to have you on my arm and by my side. i love you YN. 

YN: i love you too. now go do me a favor and take a shower and change your robes. no offense my love but you need to take a shower. 

Draco: i will take your advice... ill see you in a while. and ill have your homework... 

Draco took his leave to go take a shower and change his robes before class. he went to class but his mind was not completely there. the professors had already gathered a stack of notes for you, so while draco attended the classes he couldnt focus. that was not a good thing, especially for his grades. 

but the professors understood, for they all knew he clearly had other things going on, for at this time you and draco were out to the school. no one questioned why draco wasnt fully paying attention, they just hoped you would be okay. 

a few hours passed, hermione brought you your casual dress to get you back to the dorm. as your fellow students watched you and hermione walk back to the dorms. you smiled slightly at draco who just watched you in passing like any normal rivalry. 

the next few hours were spent with different people coming in to do different shifts of watching you, helping you, taking care of you. finally it was the tutoring time. you were told to be on bed rest, but when hermione didnt return to the dorm you figured she had arranged something. 

Draco knocked at the door before he entered. once he came into view he was entranced by how stunning you looked sitting there, with your pet cat in your lap. (*yes okay yes i realize that this is the first time i mention the reader’s pet... sue me i forgot about that part till just now.*) 

YN: hey.

Draco: i brought you the notes and stuff from classes. YN i feel so awful about what you went through i....

thats when you placed your finger to his lips this shut him up immediately.

YN: its not your fault, there was nothing you could have done. i went to the tent it was my choice. please i dont want you to blame yourself for what happened. lets just focus on the formal. now i want to thank you for the box... and before you say that it isnt from you or that you have no idea what im talking about. the magic signature on the card on the box belonged to you love.  i havent looked inside, but i know that when i show up at the formal im gonna look absolutely smashing. 

Draco: i have to use the money my father sends me somehow, so i went to the shop, and i picked everything out with the measurements that i got from hermione of course. plus it matches us a bit... anyway, here are the notes i had a few questions i knew you could help me solve. snape wants me and you to be among the first to brew the wolfsbane. he says it will be a easy task or at least for you it will be. he also said that you need to submit your formula on wolfsbane by fire message before the end of the day. 

You quickly did that as Draco said it, he looked at you with curious concern in his eyes. he stayed with you for a few hours explaining what happened in the classes you missed. handing you the assignments, letting you explain what he didnt understand. 

*TIME SKIP: the rest of that evening went by pretty quick, you spent time tutoring Draco, who left when your cousin walked back into the room. you were now spending time chattering with her over the hair styles for the formal the next day. well you and hermione got an early sleep for the next day would sure be a busy one. now we go to the showers where you have just arrived to stretch out and begin your day.*

you were in your stall, mulling things over under the hot water. your brain swimming with thousands of thoughts, ones that made you begin humming, something you do quite often and in different situations you hum different songs. in this case it was something celtic something haunting some sort of ancient melody that haunts your very soul.

your hum echoed through the castle. no one could figure out where the sound was coming from except your cousin. for she had heard you hum that tune many numerous times before. 

Hermione: so you thinking again?

you snapped out of your hum, for you had not realized that another person could have walked into the room, never mind your own cousin. 

YN: just got some butterflies about tonight... H what if this doesnt go the way we think it will... 

Hermione: well cuz if you think about it this way, people will expect the rivalry to still take place during the event no one will expect the rivalry to be non existant during the event. to see 2 people who arent normally friends acting like friends even if for one night will do us all proud. now hurry up so we can go open the box to see what your man gave you... 

YN: ah yes thank you for reminding me cuz, thank you for giving draco the information he needed to get these things for me.. i appreciate it a ton. 

Hermione: no to worry cuz you are gonna look beautiful. now hurry up or you will look like a prune... 

 you finished cleaning up, you dryed off and wrapped up in your housecoat to go back to your dorm. twas the only way you were comfortable. your cousin right beside you both of you discussing your hair and what the hell you would do with it. 

Hermione  and you now sat in your dorm and just stared at the box between you both, the blue box that had tormented you for 2 days now sat between you ready for the unveiling of what lay inside. 

you removed the note and slowly undid the ribbon binding the box shut. you reached down to ope the lid, the first thing you saw was the dress, picking it up you stood spinning around holding the dress against your form.

YN: remind me to thank him for this...

hermione: oh im sure just wearing this tonight will thank him enough for this. now come on lets see what else is in here… 

you lay the dress over your cousins lap as you reach into the box and pull out a fashion wrap…

YN: isnt this basically just a cape?

Hermione: yes it is but we dont speak of that… lol it is nice and it looks like it goes in matching with the dress. 

you lay that as well over your cousins lap and pull out a small bag.

YN: wnder what this is…

Hermone: well it must be valuable in order to require its own packaging inside of packaging, 

you ope the baggie to reveal a custom bracelet. 

Hermione: ive seen those before, you can get it engraved with whatevr you want particularly used for couples. 

you flip it over and look at the enraving, “Yn & Draco always and forever 08-22”

you smiled ear to ear, little giggles left your lips, happily of course as you attached the bracelet to your wrist. once it was attached you reached into the box to pull out the next item again another baggie a bit bigger than the last. you opened it to reveal a gold headband. 

YN: so he is gona treat me like a queen

Hermione: at least i dont have to worry about you. 

YN: but you still will anyway cause thats just how you are cuz!

hermione: come on girl whats the last thing in the box.

You reach into the box and pull out a pair of leather strap short heals and smile. 

Hermione: lets become fabulous. cause we all know thats a crime in itself but we have 5 hours before we have to be there for presentations and plus the rivals have the first dance as is in the announcement this year. 

you had forgotten that the ministry had made that announcement… since fudge was supposed to make an appearance at the dance. He wanted to see the rivals of the school have the honor of first dance. It was a new tradition and would remain so for generations to come. 

First was to get dressed. You went behind the change cover, you put on your strapless and a nice pair of seamless bottoms. You were now ready for the dress, but you realized that there was a bra built into the dress already. Well at least into one part of it. ****A/N: yes i know that this wasnt mentioned but the dress that im describing is a two piece, it was one i had done my research on and liked the way it looked in the color scheme i was using for this story. Okay back to the story.****

You removed your strapless as now you knew you didnt need it. You pulled on the skirt fiestas to make sure that you were good in that department. You kinda did a half twirl and then put on the top, well you couldnt do it up as the zipper was at the back. 

YN: hey cuz, can you zip me up?

Hermione: a zipper… how does it look 

YN: its a 2 piece… its in my house color, its soft fabric it feels soft against my skin. 

Hermione: well come out and hold yourself in place. 

You stepped out from behind the shield and watched your cousin turn around in her dress. You both squealed in happiness for it made you both happy to know that you both looked amazing! Hermione did your top up and both of you stood side by side in the mirror.  

Hermione: cuz we need to photo shoot this in the mirror, we are still sure of this plan, we are so certain that this is the night the school will accept the possibility of a union between you and draco. I mean when are you guys planning to tell everyone about your relationship anyway. 

YN: no idea, it hasnt been discussed to much, we know we need to tell everyone we just dont know when or how. But when we do it will be a big event. Alright on a different note ive set the mirror to do the photo shoot of us its taking 5 very precisely timed shots. So lets wing it. Nice one first so we can duplicate it and send it to our folks then we go from there. 

Pose 1: normal, side by side and looking your best. 

Pose 2: charlies angels, missing an angel but smiling anyway

Pose 3: the shocked first look in outfit (hermione shocked at seeing you)

Pose 4: parting the sea, back to back looking away

Pose 5: and finally the hug it out moment

You went round to the window to stare down at the world, the school looked all decorated for the formal and the sound of people gathering around the grounds, the concorse full of people and visitors. You strapped on your shoes and your cousin finished your hair and applied your wrap. 

you wondered how the night would look, you wondered if anyone would question the less amounts of tension between you and Draco.

You wondered alot of things but a knock at the door brought you back to earth. You turned to see Harry and Ron standing at the door. 

Harry: wow, ladies you both look amazing! 

You and Hermione smile as Harry hands you something from minerva

Yn: it's professor McGonagall she wants to see me, says it's of great importance. 

Hermione: that's okay I'll walk down with the boys. Go go… 

You walk out of the room and go as fast as possible without tripping and falling to where you knew the professor would be. 

Minerva: ah YN you look lovely..  

Yn: thank you professor, I got your note you wanted to see me. 

Minerva: yes as you may have heard by now this year the Minister of magic is attending the formal as a honored guest, he has requested that you and Mr malfoy be honored guests as your rivalry is legendary as well as you and Mr malfoy will be receiving something special from the minister. He wants to commend you both on jobs well done this year. Your main task for the dance is to start the dancing off, now i know that you are a little sensitive YN so if you need a minute to process this before we make the announcement and before your fellow classmates begin to gather. 

YN: ya could i actually have a minute… where do i enter from?

Minerva: you will enter from the right side of the staircase, mr malfoy will enter from the left, just be there and ready for the announcement. 

You went round to the right side of the staircase and began pacing, letting your brain sort itself out to be able to go out there and not kiss Draco in front of everyone. 

To not run straight into his arms, to be able to just be a boy and a girl with no connection other than their rivalry for one night. 

That Un be known to you would be the case on this night you would be just a girl, and Draco would just be a boy who would be spending time together during the formal. 

Draco (to self): OK tonight can not go wrong, it's just one night to be just a boy and just a girl. I know she is probably nervous but she will be her normal brilliant self, i will be charming and pleasant and this evening will take the rivalship between me and YN to an 11. I hope she isnt overthinking things. 

You on the other side of things were overthinking everything that could go right and everything that could go wrong. You were also talking to yourself and pacing and borderline freak out. 

YN(to self): i cant do this, i can do this… what am i saying tonight is gonna go horrible… something is gonna mess this night up and screw up the entire eco system that is a almost 2 year secret… i wonder what it would be like if draco and i were out to the school and the public eye as a couple… what am i saying that would be a disaster. The ministry, the school, my parents, his parents, our friends, everyone would reject us… we would end up living as muggles for the rest of our lives, we would be exiled from the wizard records, we would have our legacy dragged through the dirt or worse. 

That's when you heard Dracos voice in the wind. 

Draco: don't stress babe, I'll be right by your side the entire time, trust me babe… Then we will happily go outside for some air later. Now let's get ready… and don't worry about a thing love. 

Thats when you had calmed down a bit more, and listened to mcgonigal speak.

Minerva: settle down everyone, before we all enter the great hall, it gives me great pleasure to introduce 2 people who im sure need no introduction, their rivalry is legendary amongst the entire student body. The minister himself asked that these 2 be given a very special entrance, ladies and gentlemen to kick off tonights winter formal i proudly present YN and Draco.

That was yours and Dracos cues to walk out from cover and down the stairs. All eyes were on the 2 of you as you both united in the center between the 2 staircases. 

Draco: in all my years at hogwarts never have I ever been so lucky in all I do, for my rival and I we know that we will make hogwarts proud in all we do and one day who knows maybe we will end up teaching here as well one day. But our rivalry won't end with graduation or parting for one final time. You all shall hear of our rivalry far and wide as we continue the rivalry even outside of hogwarts. Sorry for the speech slur but I figured on behalf of all of us we should make a statement. 

Draco then held his arm for you to take. That you did and both of you walked the rest of the steps together, the only person who you both stopped to acknowledge was the minister. 

Fudge: in all my time as minister for magic, i have never seen 2 people who just go from rivals one minute to just pleasant normal students, almost like the bond of your rivalry has brought you both closer together. Tell me YN did you ever see yourself and mr malfoy here being friends maybe. 

YN: i honestly can say no i have not seen that possibility but there is an ever changing future and i look forward to seeing what it may hold, if per chance one day this rivalry of ours becomes obsolete we will im sure become the best of friends, as long as that would be viewed as a good thing in the eyes of the ministry of course. 

Fudge: friendship is never an issue… now let the formal commence, music… 

You and draco walk onto the dancefloor, you both had not danced outside of the astronomy tower before you both were unsure of how to act. 

Draco placed one hand on your waist and one hand on your hand. The music started and you both began to move with the music, but no one would be able to hear your conversation….

Draco: you look wonderful tonight…

YN: thank you, i mean it wasnt hard to figure out who sent these wonderful items, but that was also a given considering we talk one minute about the formal and the fact i didnt have anything to wear and the next minute there is a mysterious box with a note saying that the dress and stuff was in the box made me smile. I figured it out when i saw the box, before i read the note. 

Draco: was it that obvious?

YN: yes it was but thats ok, cause i know that tonight we arent rivals, we are just 2 people who happen to be a big part of the school and its events. I honestly didnt know that this was what we had to do till i got mcgonigals note. 

Draco: well tonight will be special i promise. 

YN: ill hold you to it. 

Draco just smiled as more people joined you on the dancefloor, after a few songs you and Draco went to get something to drink. You both picked a table and sat down beside eachother, so as to have a civizled conversation. 

Draco: any plans to go home for break?

YN: nope, as far as my parents are concerned i am staying at the school and just helping minerva… its not like i have much at home anyway. I mean sure my parents are there and they love me but i dont want to go home, see my parents start getting back into my home life routine and then have to come back to hogwarts… its just too hard. Thats why i stopped going home for break, thats why i stay here and help the professors keep the school over break. 

Draco: well what would you say if i stay here as well over break… think of it as we are on one continuous date for 2 weeks. 

YN: now that i would enjoy. But i think we should tell the school… somehow… someway… but we shouldnt wait too much longer, we dont know what the consequences will be… 

Draco: i know you are right… i…

Just as he was about to speak again the minister came up to both of you pulling up a seat beside you… 

Cornielious: having a good time tonight…

YN: yes we are minister thank you… we were just discussing what the tutoring schedule will look like over the next bit before our owls and winter break. 

Draco: are you having a good time minister?

Cornielious: its like nothing has changed at hogwarts, this party is fantastic, it is a good time, it also gives me a break from my work at the ministry.. Oh YN your mom and dad said to say hi… i have them checking into a few strange occurrences for magic bursts. 

YN: well you certainly picked the right people for the job, i know my parents well enough to know that they wont quit a case if there are no leads… as my mom always the hardest case is the easiest case for the answer is staring you in the face. 

All 3 of you start laughing as the music changes again and one student exclaims…

Student A: its snowing!!!

All the students  continued to dance as the music changed to more slow songs, you and draco decided to try to slow dance again. But no one would have predicted the scene that would happen about quarter way into the dance. 

You were having a small convo with draco and he decided to kiss you on the cheek. No one else noticed, your cousin however smart and brilliant for she non vocally slowed time a bit to the point of you and draco could recover and pretend that it didnt happen.

But a few students and teachers noticed… this made you go bright red, you backed away from Draco and turned to run through the crowd, grabbing your cape and going out the doors down the stairs and into the rose garden. 

Time resumed but no one said anything, all they saw was you running out of the great hall and draco standing in the center of the dance floor. Hermione started to move toward the door but saw draco run after you… he realized he made a mistake. She went to explain to the professors what happened and the dance was resumed. 

Draco followed your footprints and got into the maze… he located you in the center of the maze, he was very careful to approach. But you were already aware that he had followed you. 

YN: no need to be cautious, i know you are there…

Draco came fully round the corner and became visible as he appeared in front of you. 

Draco: im so sorry about that in there love. It was… well i just…. I mean… 

YN: its okay i understand what happened… heat of the moment and all. But as my cousin has told me telepathically of course is that she has spoken to those who saw this happen and she told them that it was nothing special. It was just a simple slip of the moment. But she harry ron and crab and goyle all know the truth… one day we will tell the rest of the students and the professors but for now…

Thats when he threw a snowball at you… well now he had started something, this fight went on for a few moments before you realized that he was close enough to you & that you guys were still alone and that no one would know if you shared a moment under the falling snow… 

YN: tonight just being normal was amazing! Thank you so much for this… 

Draco: there is one more thing i feel like we should do… one thing that we are gonna do to remember this moment, how we looked on the floor and for anyone that wants a memory of tonight, i know i will and i know our friends will but we also need to start making memories for our children to see one day… so here is one for the history books...

You didnt have time to respond before he kissed you. the snow falling on your faces and the calm night air made this night even better to just be there together. 

~to be continued~

[dapper-nahrwhale]

for the writing ask, number 3!

Asiksj thanks so much for the ask!! (Under the cut is some fantasy high riz and aelwyn friendship I've been writing)

"One scene you want to write but cant because its difficult"

I guess it's hard for me to write like cohesive scenes like I'm used to writing slightly connected oneshots like 5 + 1 type stuff, shortish scenes that arnt connected much. But writing like stuff with connected plots is difficult, coming up with ideas for plot is easy actually writing it all together is hard.

Like theres like this fantasy high mafia road trip thing au (the title would be Pretty like a Car Crash from some song I think) I'd want to write but... trying to put together a whole plot ugh I enjoy writing lil oneshots and scenes but trying to get it all figured put is hmm not my strong suit.

Like writing out whole scenes that are connected with actual plot is hard so I just write unconnected scenes and all I'd like to figure out how to do like whole stuff but idk.

Actually some writing (fantasy high riz and aelwyn friendship I've been cooking up) under the cut cuz it got pretty long

I'm not going to write out a whole entire plot multiple chapter thing here so I'll just write some stuff that I've been working on. Even though this is a multi chartered plot thing so.

The road to recovery is paved in sleepless nights and tired mornings. (Title)

The bad kids are rightfully wary about letting them hang out together. Partly because they're both paranoid enough to think the other would take an attack of opportunity on them. Of course what the bad kids didn't expect was for them to band together when someone else gets murdered. Basrar gets framed for murder. Riz and aelwyn are on the case.

Riz doesnt like or trust Aelwyn. Aelwyn doesnt care about his opinion, but it's easier to try and get along with each other to make this long suffering case go by quicker.

Aelwyn decided to stop doing super toxic things because her sister and jawbone have gotten her to and because she doesn't like or enjoy going to parties getting rekt and kissing strangers anymore. So she needs new, slightly less toxic habits and if staying up late researching stuff while not sleeping is that then the only one to also do that would work. Putting her high intelligence to good use. (Sleeping is hard for both of them, so why not be productive instead of going to have a bad time sleeping.)

They've both killed more people then they should have. They both refuse to talk about too much with jawbone, even though at this point they really should. Instead they avoid all of their problems by solving cases and researching stuff. They both value knowledge. Adaine isn't here because she'd only discourage them and they know it's not healthy to burn out like this but. Well. It's the only way they know how to function. So. They don't talk about their feelings or anything. They both don't sleep at all if they can help it. They just work themselves to the bone, refuse to sleep because of really bad nightmares and hope it's enough. It isnt. But they'd really like to think it was.

Combined, they would sleep about 6 hours, riz passed out for 4 and aelwyn trancing fitfully for 2.

(Aelwyn will trance for just a few hours, sitting in a creaky old chair while riz works on something or other. They make it a rule to always have one of them awake if the other is sleeping when they end up working late. Paranoia and all that. So whenever riz inevitably passes out in his desk aelwyn will keep watch and go over spells in her book to keep herself awake. It's a shot system but it works for the most part. Sometimes they'll both stay up the entire night, sometimes theyll both be too exhausted to stay up anymore and fall asleep at the same time.)

To solve the case they hole up in rizs office for a few days, everyone panics at first when neither go to school and then riz and aelwyn dont answer their crystals cuz it wasnt charged and they were so focused on the case they forgot to do school. They freak out considering what happend last time and actually bust down the door of his office and find them both sleeping. It's cute but they wake up and start fighting them before they realize oh it's just the bad kids.

(Undetermined time later)

"Just had to get away from adaine for a bit. She worries about me too much."

"Are you giving her reason to be worried?"

"Probably"

"I dont know how sam and adaine and everyone else can forgive me. I'm a terrible person." Alewyn

"Were. You were a terrible person. You arnt anymore. Even if you think you still are, you arnt anymore. The horrors you have done are not who you are. Or something like that. The you who did all the terrible things is still you and that sucks but you just have to do better now" Riz

"It doesnt make up for all the stuff I've done."

"Probably not. It might never."

"Ostentasia still hasn't talked to me or even been in the same room as me. and I cant blame her. I cant forgive myself."

"Yeah. I mean you did put her in a palimpsest prison for several months. And then almost get her and the other maidens sacrificed to our evil vice principle dragon. That's pretty messed up "

"Yeah."

She feels she doesnt deserve her new family. She hasn't done anything to deserve their free love. She in fact has done more to hinder it than anything.

Adaine reminds her of love without expectations. It's hard to remember but shes getting better at it.

Jawbone tells her he wanted to adopt her. She didnt understand why. Shes almost old enough to be on her own she doesnt need anyone to look out for her. But it would be nice to have a parent who cares. At least that's what adaine tells her.

Everyone else is getting better and they both feel like they're not.

This is by no means all of it or in any way done or edited and I'm still working on riz parts of it, those are much more difficult than aelwyns for me to write as of now because they're so based on my own personal stuff kinda but I'm so wicked excited to be writing this! I just think they're friendship would be so intersting and all!

[kibybun]

The Feeling is Mutual

Yandere Hawks x Yandere + Tsundere reader

Tw: yandere, obsession, stalking, cussing, violence, murder

Enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------------------

You were currently running for your life. Why? Because you're a badass. But really, a sleazy pervert thought he had the right to touch you. Too bad, you punch quite hard.

"Get back here you little bitch!" The pervert was definitely strong due to his muscular build but you were definitely fast.

Thundering footsteps take the quiet alley by storm as you start to pull ahead of him.

"Go suck a dick, you bag of cat piss!" You look back to mock him but your feet disapprove. Your face scrapes against the lose gravel along with your hands and knees. "Fuck...."

"Wanna repeat yourself?" He comes to a stop at your side, bends down, and yanks you up by your hair.

"You disgusting bag of cat piss!" Once again you're too cocky for your own good. You spit in his face and he throws you against the wall.

"Little bitch!" He wipes his face before grabbing your throat, pinning you to the wall, and raising his fist.

"Do it, you bag of cat piss!"

His face fumes red as he tries to hit you, only to be stopped by vivid red feathers.

"What the hell?" His grip on you loosens so you take the opportunity to kick him in his precious no-no square. He collapses in pain and grovels on the ground.

"Hehe do I get a thanks for saving that pretty face of yours?" You instantly feel your blood boil but as you look at your "savior" the only thing you feel heat up are your cheeks.

His whole appearance was absolutely delicious but what caught you most was how god damn beautiful his wings are.

"Hehe what's wrong, like what you see?" This over grow chicken then takes it upon himself to flex his arms and wings.

You scoff. "Nope." 'What. The. Fuck. What's wrong with you me!?!' You turn to hide your blushing face to help imply your unimpressed demeanor.

"Owwww you wound me! Anyway why were you running from that guy, doll?" You choke on the air, trying to register the pet name he gave you.

"Pfft doll? Try coming up with something more original, stranger." As you make your witty remark, both of you fail to notice the pervert silently escaping. It wasnt like he mattered anyway.

"Fair point, angel. Name's Hawks." He holds out a hand for you to shake. Somehow this name was even more cheesy but you loved it.

"As if that's better..." 'Shut the hell up with your sass!'

You go to shake Hawks' hand but before you can grab his, he grabs yours. He swiftly but gently pulls your hand to his lips to place a kiss atop of it. You snatched your hand away at mock speed.

Embarrassed and flustered to manage to stutter out, "H-hey! That's disgusting! I still have no idea who the hell you are!" But you loved it oh so much.

He merely laughs. "Well you can trust me, plus I dont know who you are so, what's your name?"

"What do you mean 'you can trust me'?"

"Awe, ignoring my question? Anyway what I mean by that is I'm pretty trustworthy. Being number 2. hero and all." Hawks leisurely puts his hands behind his head.

All you felt was utter shock. Not only did the number 2. hero come and "rescue" you but he has been FLIRTING with you.

"So? I still dont know who you are." 'Oh my god, you absolute idiot you have no hope.' But he just laughs it off.

"Still a valid point so let's make a deal. I give you my first name and you give me yours plus your number." You have to stop yourself from gagging at how adorable and cheesy that was.

You give him a deer in the headlights look.

"Oh c'mon! I'm basically putting my whole identity on the line and all I'm asking is for your digits plus a name."

"But why?" 'Stop questioning it and take it!'

"Why not?" You give a final scoff before mumbling something. "Can you repeat that a little louder angel?"

"(y/n)."

"(y/n). (y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n)."

"What the hell are you doing? Stop saying my name." 'No, please keep saying it.'

"I'm saying it eight times so I never forget it. Cuz, ya know, eight on its side is the infinity symbol." He smiles the most innocent and pure smile anyone could make.

Your heart squeezes as you cant handle this. "That's dumb..."

"Maybe but you still need to give me your number."

"Name first."

"Ooo assertive, I like!" He steps closer causing you to step back.

'Please come closer.'

Very quickly your back hits the wall and Hawks brings his face dangerously close to your ear.

"Keigo." His voice was deep and had the effect of honey in your ear. It happened slowly leaving the sound stuck in your ear yet still traveling through your body.

As quickly as it happened, Keigo had pulled away and passed you his phone.

"Keep my name a secret, 'kay?" He smiles and winks only causeing you to function less and less.

"Whatever..." You put in your number and name, passing the phone back to Keigo.

"Thanks angel! I'd love to text you right away but I'm still on patrol so be sure to look out for my text later!" He swoops up your hand again to give it another kiss before flying off.

"Hey!" His response was laughter. As you begin to walk back towards your destination your face cools and you hold your hand close.

'He's suck a dummy but he's my dummy.'

Around 6:30 pm you receive a text from an unknown number.

'Hey angel.'

'Hey over grown chicken.' "Why the hell are you being so mean?!"

'lol are you calling me big?'

'Nope, tiny with succulent wings.'

'So you're only using me for my wings?! 😭'

'Yup!'

'Daw you dont need to lie to me angel.'

'But lying is so fun~'

'So you were lying!'

'....shit.'

'Ha! I knew I was irresistible.'

'Irresistible to carnivores.'

'You're an omnivore.'

'I have amazing self control.'

'Oh? prove it.'

'Pfft how?"

You leave the kitchen with your snack and plop on your bed. You were too engrossed in your conversation with Keigo that you didnt notice him peering through your window.

He simply adored how you try to contain how happy you become when you get a message from him.

Now was the test to see if you truely had amazing self control. Your phone buzzes and you quickly switch to your messages only to nearly die.

Inches from your face was the sexiest abb picture you've ever seen. His body was so well toned and to add to the picture his wings make up most of the background with very little blue sky poking through.

You were too distracted oogling and drooling over a simple picture it took a moment before you noticed his next texts.

'How's that self control treating ya?'

'I bet you're drooling over me.'

You pout, send a reply, and set your phone down.

'I think I'm a vegan now.'

After a second Keigo can notice the panic on your face as a faint "was that too mean?" was heard.

'Then I guess I'm the forbidden fruit.'

You bite your lip as you switch over to social media. Before your little banter started you were stalking his accounts. You didnt follow him or like any of his posts so he wouldnt be given that satisfaction but you truely did like them.

The only thing you disliked was how there were other girls who thought they could ever get with YOUR Hawks. He asked YOUR number and gave YOU his name. Clearly he was yours.

'Hey, you still there?'

'I like forbiden fruit. I have to shower. I'll text you in the morning, sweet dreams❤'

Keigo's heart flutters at the simple message. He flies home to shower as well.

While in the shower you slowly think of ways to eliminate the girls who think they can look at your Darling.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks have passed and have you been a little busy bee. You had to work to sustain life but you made it to every event your beloved was at. You made it to every meet and greet, interview, photoshoot, villain attack, his window at night. It really helped that you have a stealth quirk, so that way you wont be entirely in debt!

It wasnt like Keigo to not notice he was being followed, he knew exactly what you were doing, but he felt too endeared that his angel was watching out for him. He was also quite impressed on how you were able to sneak into his interviews and photoshoots.

Keigo felt guilty not being able to give you the attention you deserve but he tries to make up for it by watching you on his patrols and after you leave his house to go to sleep.

Tonight was no different as Keigo was perched on your apartment balcony. You liked to sleep with the curtains drawn back so you can see the stars but you always forgot to lock that door. Did you ever lock it?

Keigo silently fusses over how dangerous that is as he opens the door and kneels down at the side of your bed. His left hand holds on of yours as his right cups your face.

He was addicted to watching your sleeping face. So innocent. Plus he got a break from your adorable tsundere additude. Dont get him wrong, he loved it just he desires affection too.

He slowly retracts his hands to pull out his phone to take a picture. He probably had hundreds of pictures of your sleeping face but he needed to document everything. Tonight you must be having a bad dream, evident by the fact your eyebrows were scrunched and you sticking your tongue out ever so slightly.

"You need to stop being so adorable angel." He takes his pictures and kisses you forehead.

He wanted nothing more than to cuddle you but he had an extra early patrol. He slides the door to your balcony closed and flies off.

When you wake up with your mouth dryer than a desert. "Blah..." You grab your phone and text Keigo.

'Goodmorning early bird.'

You knew he'd be awake. You had memorized his schedule. Today after patrol he had a meet and greet then a photoshoot.

'Morning beautiful.'

You truely cant help smiling and blushing at all the cute things he says to you.

'How'd you sleep?'

'What's this? Concern????'

You roll your eyes at his teasing continue to eat your breakfast.

'Keep teasing me and it wont happen again.'

'lol sorry angel, I slept ok but it would've been better with you~'

Did he just say that? Oh my god he just said that.

(y/n). exe has stopped working. As your brain starts to reboot, your phone pings.

'How'd you sleep?'

The witty comments part of your brain was still rebooting, preventing the tsundere in you to actually work.

'Maybe if we spent the night together we'd sleep better.'

Now this caught Keigo off guard. He expected to be called a pervert or weirdo. Not for you to agree.

'Do you maybe wanna watch a movie tonight?'

He gotta shoot his shot sometime. Why not now?

Your brain could not comprehend what was happening. Were you dreaming? No, your sure you're awake. Was he joking? No, he didn't seem like the type to jokingly ask that. Maybe the world was just rewarding you for being so dedicated and loyal. That's probably it.

'Where and when?'

Keigo does a few flips in the sky to try and ease his excitement. Too bad that fails. "Its a date!"

'6 @ my place?'

'You better pick me up on time and have dinner prepared.'

'Anything for you angel!'

"Oh my fucking god it's a date." You jump up and down excited, running to your closet to pick out your outfit.

Since it wasnt a fancy restaurant or anything you decide to go more casual. A cute sundress maybe? Either way you put on your outfit and head out the door to go to your darling's meet and greet. It wasnt too far from your apartment so you were able to take a leisurely stroll there.

As you arrive you see the big crowd already forming. You didnt want to get your outfit dirty so you decide to stay more towards the back. A peppy blonde girl pushes you slightly to the side.

"Bitch.." you mumbled under your breath.

"Uh what did you just say?"

Not wanting to embarrass Keigo or have him have to separate a girl fight you decide to step down. "Nothing."

"Good choice bitch."

As the two of you reach the middle of the crowd, the girl takes out her phone. It was hard not to ease drop when she is purposely talking in your ear.

"Hawks is so hot. I bet he has a big dick too. Maybe after this he'll let me take some of that stress off of him~!" She puffs her chest out trying to get a reaction from you.

On the outside you're calm and collected but inside all hell was breaking lose. You wanted to snap her neck, pull out her fingernails, and slice off her tits.

Seeing as you're unfazed she continues. "I bet he'd be screaming how good I make him feel. He'd ask for my number and I'd break his heart. He is just a hunky of meat after all."

That's it.

You activate your stealth quirk and she questions where you went. You pull out a knife you always have on you, just in case, and glide it against her throat in a swift but silent manner. She collapses to the ground and a shrill scream sounds, alerting everyone near.

Before you run, you look at Keigo. His eyes meet yours. You know he can see you even if you were invisible. You know he knows you just killed her. His face holds disbelief but his eyes shimmer and smile for him.

You run from the crime scene and wash the blood from your hands.

Six o-clock slowly arrives and there was a knock on your door. You know its Keigo but you dont know how he found your adress. Opening the door you see him smiling so brightly.

"My little angel shed her white wings!" He traps you in a hug. You gladly hug him back.

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not! You did it for me didnt you?" You look up at him and nod. "Then its perfectly fine." He smiles at you before picking you up bridal style and closing your door.

"We better hurry, dinner is getting cold."

Loosely based on my Stalker x Stalker headcanons! Thank you so much for reading, have an amazing day!

Kiby~💚

[normal-thoughts-official]

UWU I'm in the mood for some Raphael talk, I love the headcanon you've talked about in the chat about Raphael tolerating Alec only because he makes his dad happy (which is so damn valid of him), and it's one of my most fave things do you have more slightly silly headcanons about it?

you really want me to be beaten up huh may. you want them to come for me again. you want to ruin my life

okay disclaimer Alec stans pwease dont hate me uwu I'm not saying i hate Alec I'm saying that i dont think Raphael would vibe with him. especially after the whole punch which I'll never get over cuz like i KNOW rationally that alec didnt have the full story and if izzy was hurt and sitting beside a white shadowhunter he would go there and beat them up all the same cuz alec's like this, but I'm still upset eidndidjdid my boy doesnt deserve this okay

anyway with that being said

i dont think its Raphael like, genuinely hating him as much as them having nothing in common besides their mutual love for Magnus and desire to see him happy. so Raphael can tolerate him fine, but he's not exactly dying to be best friends. besides, alec's like, all of the most annoying things about shadowhunters (all serious, never fucking relaxes, must have a weapon close at all times, doesn't understand food, doesn't listen to music, doesnt-) that arent like straight up nazist bigotry. so hes just like. ugh. whatever. I'm here for Magnus. leave pls

i can absolutely see that tbh Raphael just goes to their house and is all like "Alec leave i want to talk to Magnus" and alec's like "this is my house?" and raphael's like "and?" and alec's like "Fine, ill take a walk. Magnus, Raphael is here." but he also kisses Magnus goodbye in front of Raphael because he can, in fact, be an ass

also i know i told u about that already but Raphael lowkey challenges him every time like. he'll come by Magnus' and bring food, and of course theres food for 3 because Raphael is not gonna be that rude and he doesn't want to make Magnus feel like Raphael wants him to choose between Raphael and Alec. Alec makes Magnus happy and Raphael would never want to make Magnus feel like his love or presence in his life is conditional. Plus, he doesn't actually hate him. Just a little.

anyway so he brings the food and he's like (clearly judgemental tone) "i brought hot sauce because i figured Alec doesn't usually eat spicy food" and he's obviously correct, Alec had never eaten anything with season in his life before he met Magnus, much less pepper. he's the kind of ultimate, boss-level gringo who puts salt on his food when he's feeling adventurous

so Raphael sits down and puts the food on his plate and he pours hot sauce into his plate while making unwavering eye contact with Alec (yeah raphael can eat in this because he deserves it and i said so) and it's an obvious challenge and it evidently works because Alec 1- is competitive, and 2- actually wants Raphael's respect because he knows how important he is to Magnus. so he takes the salsa from Raphael and starts pouring it too while maintaining eye contact right back, jaw clenched in challenge, looking all serious and Magnus is like "children, please" and raphael's all like "oh no no no, let him" but Alec considers that a win because Raphael is clearly trying to contain a smile and thats the first step to winning him over

so anyway Alec sweats and grimaces through the whole meal, cuz like, look yes he may have pain tolerance because he's a shadowhunter but he's also the bitch who reacted to taking a sip of beer like someone had farted on his face. he can't hide his reactions for shit, but fuck if he doesn't lick the plate clean (not literally like gross) and doesn't shed a single tear, even as he clearly can't keep his eyes open with the effort

Magnus is like "Alexander, you dont have to do this" and alec's like "(eyes squeezed shut, grimacing, drenched in sweat) do what? this is very good" and Raphael is smiling into his plate even as Magnus shoots him dirty looks

then Alec is like "i won. i ate it all" and Raphael is like "(looking at his red sweaty face and puffy eyes) really?"

also look ill always love the hc that Raphael resents Alec for his height and Alec doesnt even notice. Raphael is not short, god damn it, hes 175! thats TEN whole centimeters above the mexican average! he was the tallest boy in Guadalajara! RAPHAEL IS TALL, OKAY

EXCEPT everyone in the goddamn shadow world is apparently a god damn giant. Its humiliating enough that Magnus is 180. but Magnus is his dad, so whatever. but Alec is FUCKING 190. no one needs that much tall. no one! Raphael went from being the tallest boy in the neighborhood to the shortest, and boy he is so not pleased about it

but Alec has no idea because who cares? (Raphael. Raphael cares. deeply. he cares so much) it's not even good to be that tall, he keeps banging his head on things. so there will be moments like. Raphael is standing in front of the bookshelf, seeming very focused. Alec shrugs, figures he's looking for something, and puts the book he was going to put there up. Raphael shoots him a dirty look that might as well be a stab, and Alec's like ???????? did i disrupt you? sorry? and Raphael just crosses his arms like "you didnt do anything, i dont know what you're talking about"

in reality the shelf was too high up because Magnus adjusted his shelves to his and Alec's height, and Raphael refused to stand on his tiptoes or god forbid, a stool, to grab his book, so he was just glaring at the shelf until the book came to him or something. and when Alec put the book up he was mad cuz Alec could reach it fjdndid

later Alec tells Magnus about it like "i dont get what i did. is he just that private?" and Magnus is like "hmm. i have no idea, darling" but next time Raphael comes, the shelves have been spelled to adjust to the book picker's height

also this always makes me think of that scene in hsm where zeke tries to talk to sharpay and she goes "evaporate, tall person!" and leaves and i love that mental image tbh

also like. eventually Alec apologizes for the punching thing (look. look. Im still salty and Raphael deserves it okay) and Raphael is like. moved because something deep inside of him still believed it was his fault and he was a monster, and it's. nice. and Alec kind of extends his arms and Raphael is like "dont think so" and crosses his arms and Alec kind of very very slowly lifts his arm and pats Raphael's head once and Raphael wants to scream and Alec looks very awkward and sheepish and Magnus bursts out laughing

(Raphael doesnt mind, though, because Magnus is genuinely so happy all day that they had a good interaction. so happy. and Raphael thinks, okay, this is okay. it's good if it makes Magnus happy.)

(Magnus also pats his head and plays with his hair, but its okay because Magnus has always done that and Raphael doesnt mind. only from him though. and raphael's partners. but anyway)

plus whenever Magnus is like, upset, or sick or something, theyre like. an unit. because for all they have no common interests they do think very alike (autistic solidarity i guess) and are very practical when it comes to taking care of others, and they both just. adore Magnus, okay. so Raphael will arrive, make Magnus soup. while he makes soup, Alec stays with him and takes his temperature. once Raphael is back with the soup, Alec goes out to buy medicine, and Raphael stays with him to make him company. and so on. at some point Alec is almost falling asleep by Magnus' side and Raphael taps his shoulder and points to the chair nearby, and Alec nods and dozes off for a while. then its the other way around. Magnus isnt seriously sick, of course, but he doesn't usually get sick so it's an event, plus they're both Like This. and for all the grief they give each other, they trust each other to take care of Magnus. theres no argument about that

(Magnus was resting, but he did see some of these moments, and smiled a bit to himself before dozing off again)

also Raphael and Ragnor gave Alec the ultimate shovel talk (Ragnor doesn't trust anyone after Camille, and while neither do cat and dot, they were more chill), but it lowkey backfired because they were like "if you ever hurt him, we'll remove your kneecaps" and Alec was like "(nodding seriously) thats fair"

also i know we've talked about this already but i also love the idea that Raphael goes to their house and is all absentmindedly like "hm can i have some coffee" and alec's like "sure, ill make it :) you stay here and talk to Magnus" and when Alec comes back he hands Raphael his coffee in a "best. bonus son. ever" mug and then he leans back against the wall, sipping his own coffee from his "world's #1 stepdad" mug that he bought himself, trying to hide his shit eating grin, and Raphael scowls and deliberately holds it so his hand covers the words, and Magnus laughs and his eyes shine as he sips his tea.

(later, Raphael is like. guess me and lightwood have a dynamic now. gross. but he still rolls with it)

in short Raphael and Alec being little shits to each other but still building something of a relationship for Magnus and always taking care of him..... ultimate trope

[beelziebabie]

im the one who sent you that mammon request,,, beel rly is baby, but comparing him to The Great Mammon? foolishness. your writing is so gooood thank you sm for taking my request 🥺 if you're still looking for some, maybe a lucifer/mammon where they are both into mc and try to compete for her attention without her noticing their thirst? (also, do u take belphie requests? i love one salty boy)

i take ALL boys sweetie

all are welcome

im lowkey kinda warming up to satan,,, so i take back what i say about not caring about him

and sure!! im gonna write out this one cuz im thirsty for both of them no cap🗿

~

Title: Brotherly Competition

Scenario: Mammon and Lucifer bet that by the end of the day, one of them could get MC in their room alone.

time started: 2:25 PM

time finished: 7:35

(i procrastinated a lot and got really busy lol)

NSFW?: nope

Reader Insert?: yup

~

The occasional sound of sipping and very frequent sounds of munching filled the large dining room. All 6 Avatars were sitting at the dining table, minus you. You headed to your room and skipped dinner mainly because there was a test you had to study for in one of your classes at RAD. Beelzebub didn’t want you to go hungry, so he offered you some of his food but you declined. He shrugged it off and continued eating happily. That just meant more for him.

It was silent. Weirdly silent. Asmodeus’ fingers drummed against the clothed table, his coral colored eyes scanning the room. Everyone was eating peacefully, silently.

“It’s too quiet..” He whined to himself, poking at his food with his fork. His eyebrows were scrunched together with his bottom lip slightly poked out in a pout. “I wish Y/n was here..”

“Oh yeah!” Mammon suddenly shouted, causing everyone at the table (minus Lucifer and Beelzebub, who both totally tuned Mammon out) to flinch at his sudden movement. His hands crashed against his table and a large grin spread across his face. Asmodeus perked up a little bit at the commotion.

“Mammon, what is it now?” Satan sighed, bringing his glass to his lips and taking a long sip from it.

Mammon stood up proudly and pressed his thumb into his chest, his chin up and his smirk never falling.

“I made a bet with Lucifer!”

Satan started choking on his drink. Beelzebub paused for only a moment to look up at Mammon with his eyebrows raised, shook his head, then continued eating without a word. Leviathan rolled his eyes and pushed his plate over to Beelzebub who gratefully took it and added it onto the mountain on his plate.

“Liar,” Levi said, taking his cellphone out of his pocket to open an bishojo game he found earlier.

Mammon shot a glare at him. “But I’m not! Look, you can ask him yourself!”

“Right, like Lucifer would make a bet with you of all demons,” Satan shook his head and cleared his throat, putting down his fork and wiping his mouth with a napkin.

A bet with Lucifer was something that pretty much never happened. Lucifer would rather not waste his time on such a trivial thing, and definitely not his money either. How did Mammon manage to do that though?

Lucifer sighed, and everyone’s attention went over to him. Expecting eyes lingered on him, as he pinched the bridge of his nose. A visible vein popped up on his temple.

“Yes, I made a bet with him,” Lucifer started and he could hear their jaws drop. He brought his hand down from his face and glared at Mammon. He sat down in his seat after a cold sweat washed over him.

“However,” He continued, “No one will know what it’s about.”

“Aww, c’mon Lucifer!” Asmodeus propped his arm up on the table and leaned his cheek into his hand. “Why cant you tell us? We’re your brothers after all,” He smiled at him.

Lucifer picked up his fork and carried some food into his mouth, chewing and swallowing before speaking up again. “And I cant trust any of you. Maybe Beelzebub.”

“Ouch,” Asmodeus frowned playfully and stood up in his seat. “Well I’m heading to bed, goodnight!”

Most of the brothers just waved goodbye, but Lucifer and Leviathan who both said “Night” or “Goodnight”.

~

When you woke up the next morning, you werent surprised to see Mammon there already. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and it looked like he was dozing off.

You laughed lightly and sat up. He flinched when he heard your giggle, but relaxed when he realized it was just you. “How long have you been sitting there, Mammie?” You yawned and stood up, stretching your arms high above your head.

Mammon’s face tinted a light shade of red as he watched your nightgown ride up your thigh just a bit. He snapped out of it when he heard your question. “Good, you’re awake! Finally! Do you have any idea how long you kept me waiting!?” He huffed and watched as you went over to your closet and tossed the multiple garments that made up your school uniform onto the bed.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” You picked out a white bra and a matching white panties and tossed them onto the bed as well. Mammon couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the undergarments. “So, you’ve been watching me sleep for a while now then?”

“Eh? No!— I just—“ His face lit up with a red hue and it didnt help when you looked back at him out of the corner of your eye.

“Whatever! Just— hurry up so we can get to breakfast,” He turned away sharply from your gaze, standing up from the bed and heading for the door. Mammon heard you hum in reply. “Okay, I’ll be down there in a few.”

Before leaving your room completely, he paused and bit his lip. “I uh.. I also packed up your stuff for you. You looked exhausted, so..”

You turned your face to him and put on a warm, closed eye smile. Just when he thought his face was calm it warmed right up again. “Thanks Mammie. I appreciate it, a lot.”

He huffed and opened the door. “Pshh, yeah! You better!”

~

At the breakfast table, it was weirdly silent. It seemed as thought Lucifer and Mammon were silently communicating with each other, but to you, it just looked like they were glaring at each other.

You bounced a bit in your seat, the tips your feet just grazing the carpeted floor. You ate with a small smile and short hums between chews. You swallowed your food and stood up.

“I’m finished!” You said, even though there was a bit of food left. Before you could even ask if Beelzebub wanted it he took your plate from your hands and dumped it onto his. He muttered something along the lines of “No food should go to waste”.

“I’m gonna head to class early. I still have some books in my room to get. Mammie, are you coming?” You bent over slightly and picked up your bookbag, slinging it over your shoulder. You flattened out and wrinkles in your skirt and waited for his answer.

“Huh?” He said, half of his spoon already in his mouth. “Oh, y-“

Lucifer stood up abruptly and picked up his plate. “Mammon is still eating his breakfast, Y/n. I’m sure he would like to finish it,” He walked over to the kitchen and a couple clinks were heard, then water running. Lucifer came back out.

“I’ll help you with your books. Is that alright with you?” He asked, his eyes shifting over to Mammon for a moment. Mammon was holding his fork so tightly that his knuckles were turning ghostly white. The smallest grin showed up on Lucifer’s features and he directed his gaze back to you.

“Oh, sure,” You hummed, starting to walk to your bedroom. But before you could even walk two feet away from your chair, Mammon stood up.

“Actually, I’m quite full thank you very much!” He hissed at Lucifer and he rolled his eyes.

“I can carry your bag for you, Y/n!” He rushed behind you and before you could object he slipped the strap off of your shoulder and swung it over his own. You blinked in surprise.

“Ah, thanks Mammie..” You shrugged it off and started walking to your room. That wasnt the first time Mammon would randomly do something for you, so you didnt pay any attention to it. You were also oblivious to the two demons sending death stares at each other behind you.

~

The entire day at school, Mammon and Lucifer followed you around like puppies. Lucifer would always offer to carry your stuff and you couldn’t say no to him.

Mammon would just take it from you and say “You should be honored that The Great MAMMON has decided to help you, a lowly human, with your things! Be grateful!”.

For some reason though, you had this weird feeling that there was something behind this. The two oldest, two of the most powerful demons out of everyone in Devildom randomly decided to help you with everyday tasks? Maybe you expected it from Mammon, but Lucifer? Something was up. But still, you brushed it off and only thought of it as friendliness.

Just before dinner, you announced that you would be eating your food in your room.

“Huh!? Why!?” Mammon shouted, already at your side. You looked up at him and laughed softly.

“Stop shouting. I really wanna watch this movie that I got off of Azukon a couple weeks back, but I could never find the time,” You sighed sadly, then replaced your frown with a smile and looked past Mammon’s body to talk to the oldest.

“Lucifer, do you want to watch it with me?”

Mammon’s jaw dropped and he immediately moved himself so that he was within your vision range. “What!? Why not me!?”

“Oh please, you always help me out with my stuff! Lucifer never does, so I wanna repay him by spending some time with him! Is that so wrong?” You stood up straight again and tried to move past Mammon, but he just stepped in the same direction that you tried to go in every time. You groaned and looked up at him.

Mammon huffed and crossed his arms. “Yeah! I was doing a little extra today too! I..I thought you’d notice..” He pouted a bit and looked off to the side.

You sighed and brought your hand up to ruffle his hair. “Hey!-“

“Fine. You can watch it too, okay? You’re so needy.”

“I am not! If anything, you’re the needy one! You needed my help all day just for a couple of books!”

“I never asked for anyone’s help, but okay Mammie,” You chuckled and shook your head, walking past him as he tripped over his words to think of a retort. He followed behind you once he noticed you were gone.

You approached Lucifer with a smile, and he returned a small one. “So, do you want to watch it with me? You’ll have to eat in my room though,” You held your hands behind your back and fiddled with your fingers a bit.

“Sure. It sounds enjoyable. What movie is it?” He hummed, watching Mammon’s expression get increasingly more irritated.

“It’s this movie called ‘Me and my brother both love this one girl and are both battling for her affection by doing small acts of kindness, but she’s so dense that she doesnt even realize!’! The reviews were really good so, I bought it!”

Lucifer and Mammon both blinked, then glanced at each other, then back to you. You still had a giant smile on.

Lucifer cleared his throat. “Ah..sure.. It sounds very familiar though. Maybe I have watched it.”

“Nope, It’s pretty new. I doubt you’ve watched it,” You hummed, walking past both of them and heading for your bedroom.

“Cmon! I already have it ready to watch. Let’s go!”

~

lmk if you want me to turn this into a smut or fluff lmao im not sure where im gonna take this its all up to you babe

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did.  I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl. 

I think kabu and minatos relationship  is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over.   you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time