#like almost controversial takes
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licorice >:3c
Sexuality Headcanon: uhhh. whatever i am😈 hes everything and nothing to me. one moment i see him as some form of bi the next i see him as greyromantic or something
Gender Headcanon: im one of the like 2 people that sees him as cis but i understand the transfem headcanon, its cute and i get it :p hes probably like vaguely demiboy or something like that to me but i don't think abt it enough to give a detailed answer
A Ship I Have With Said Character: purple yam and licorice/licoyam even though im one out of like 2 people that ship them ever <3 they don't understand me im different im alone. ALSO angel food cake x licorice duh. my little things
BROTP: uhhhh? hm. I like the idea of avocado and him being friends based on that one puns vid, i think it'd be cute and funny🙏 i think him and affogato hanging is funny but strictly in a gossip way. I wish him and pom could be friends in an alternate universe somewhere bc i think that'd be really funny (i want to like pomegranate so bad) I FEEL LIKE THERES MORE BUT I CANT THINK OF ANY😑 lame
NOTP: OH MY GOD okay. I hate licorice/clo.ver (cant remember the ship name🙏) and lico/fait so so bad im sorry. theres no real rational reason i just always hate the way they make licorice out idk. but people can like it its not problematic or anything BUT TAG YOUR POSTS PLEASE I HAVE THE TAGS BLOCKED BUT THEY KEEP SHOWING UP💔💔💔💔 also same with darklico but i think its more weird because im pretty sure theres an age gap there. if dark choco was an adult/almost an adult when milk was a kid then he's most definitely older than licorice, a cookie thats canonically a young adult (when asked about his age in the qna live they said he was "old enough to be a highschool dropout if that gives any implication" and also this desc from the operation poison mushroom thing)
Also licopom pom is a lesbian BUT ALSO why do ppl who hate licopom always act like licorice is gross or something i always see him put at the forefront like he made the ship or something. idk maybe im insane but i always see that its so weird
IDK WHY THE NOTP SECTION IS SO LONG ig i had a lot to say sorry :| anyways ppl can like lico/fait and li/clover (??) (Ill leave their tags alone) but if you like darklico or licopom youre a lil weird sorry
#end part more for darklico than licopom. licopom got problematic stuff but darklicos actually legit weird if the implications are correct#licorice cookie#asks#man ig i had some shit to say abt licorice ships i dont like💀 sorry yall i know i have some fans of those ships that follow me🙏#ily still❤#EXCEPT FOR DARKLICO ITS WEIRD IM SORRY. if someone can give me evidence that dark choco isnt older than like 30-40#then ill apologize with tears🙏i swear#i still wont like the ship though#licorice is like implied to be 19-25 even his va says that hes like 35 but changed his voice to be like later teens#also nobody talks about that from what ive seen. weird ass fanbase#ok im done possibly losing followers thank u for the ask🙏 i dont wanna act like im a contrarian or sumn but i do feel like some of these r#like almost controversial takes#why do i add 29493 tags to every post i make. just make a diff post at that point
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ijbol idk man releasing screenshots of very polarizing things said in a private discord server between friends in a public "callout" post is #the most #tumblrific thing ive ever seen LOL.
#opinion 😱 in tags
#our life#gb patch#gb patch games#our life beginnings & always#i also think it should be acknowledged that the white queer 'experience' and the black queer 'experience' are totally different#bc there are multiple occasions where GBLady has recieved an ask where shes accused of Something bc of a super specific issue#this whole situation is just the biggest case of GetOverYourself ive ever seen icl#i think rose is entitled to their opinion as a black trans person + a person who previously identified as a trans man#i think its easy to attack rose as an inflammatory person who 'purposely incites discourse' bc they dont use that super-pacifying#everyone is welcome on my blog tone that if not used is immediately interpreted by white people as hostility and rudeness#i don't agree with a lot of their takes that ive seen on their blog that were allegedly posted BEFORE they became a sensitivity reader#but irdgaf#bc its their personal blog and theyre entitled to their opinion and i don't believe u get to feel insulted or slighted#or deem them as unprofessional and inflammatory just bc they didnt speak to u on their personal blog as Nicely as u wanted them to#i just think this all leads back to a growing sense of entitlement in the gb patch fan community#esp among the our life fans#just bc this is a deeply customizable game doesn't mean that the dev can customize Every Single Thing to ur liking#it also doesn't mean that ignorance on the devs part or the staffs part in most capacities is purposefully discriminatory in nature#like no offence but wdym 'ur hands are shaking and u need to get offline' bc of all of This... please grow up and go outside#also This is controversial but a lot of yall use the fact that GBLady is a white cis woman who happens to b writing stories#with a very diverse and nuanced cast to railroad ur ideals on how the characters should b written#and if they don't meet Your personal experience as a member of that marginalized community then They are automatically written incorrectly#again just a very entitled community IJBOL#idgaf if u disagree come and kill me over it 🤷🏾♀️#but also im very curious abt what people think !! 👁#i also dk how to phrase this but the white gb patch community also Reeks of this strange entitlement and i hate to say it but . . .#Sensitivity ??#they have this weird almost parasocial relationship with GBLady + this fantastical relationship with the characters themselves#LOL idk if anybody gets what i mean
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and if i said that i’m on lip’s side in season 4?
#the answer is i’d be right#i don’t condone the whole screaming in fiona’s face shit#but he wasn’t wrong… fiona was refusing to take accountability or responsibility for her literal kids#and then lip calls her out and he’s the bad guy#like ‘i’m not guilty’ ‘it’s never about me’ like- no- liam literally almost died in your care… you’re guilty#fiona also wasn’t the only parentified one- lip was as well#i don’t blame him at all for his reaction and i honestly think he was being incredibly generous#because if i were in his position i wouldn’t want her around liam and i know that’s controversial but you can’t blame him for it#he’s protective as he should be because there isn’t really many people protecting the gallagher kids#actions have consequences and there’s no point in being angry about the fact that fiona needed to face consequences#it would be an injustice to liam if she wasn’t arrested and charged and i stand by that#shameless#fiona gallagher#lip gallagher#liam gallagher shameless#4x05#4x06#4x07
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every time someone says “Anakin wouldn’t have turned to the dark side if Ahsoka hadn’t left the Order” an angel loses its wings
#it’s almost like#the whole point is that he would have turned no matter what#😐#and that’s also blaming ahsoka which is not fair#star wars fans stop blaming other people for anakin’s fall challenge (impossible)#the only people to be blamed are palpatine and anakin send tweet#i fear this may be a controversial take so please don’t come for me guys lol#star wars#ahsoka tano#anakin skywalker#darth vader#star wars hot take#star wars fandom#please don’t get mad at me for saying this LMAO#sky speaks
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Hello~~
Do you think that it is absolutely insane to start watching 'Gotham' just because I might be interested in the BatJokes situationship?! 'cause I do have other shows queued and some sort of life going on so the timing isn't that right but smh I feel like I need to do something for my curiosity, tho I'd like some of advice lol
Thank you anyway ;)
LMAO hi, i mean, i started watching Gotham just because i was interested in the batjokes situationship, so *cheerily honks clown nose*
hmm, i dont quite know your context, so i dont know what kind of "advice" are you looking for exactly, but some general notes would be; This is a 100 episode 5 season prison sentence home arrest show. The batjokes situationship/s start from season 3-ish OR near the end of S4 depending on your definition of batjokes lmao, so you're kinda looking at a long pretty batjokesless ride here. Personally i knew that information going in, so i was like "i'm gonna try Gotham for flavour, and if it sticks, then i guess i'm in for the ride." And boy i wasn't ready for how well it sticks, one of the worst industrial grade glues i have ever had the misfortune of being subjected to in my life 34.6/10 experience would do it again.
Gotham TV is such distinct and paculiar and singular Batman production, it sacrified being an official part of canon continuity in order to portray some of the most bizarre, deranged, delightful, heartfelt and heartbreaking moments in live action Batman media, and the batjokes situationship is absolutely a part of this throne, if not the crown jewel. So like, prepare to have your life be lost on you if you ever decide to give it a try 😂❤️ i got into it for batjokes, but i absolutely stayed for *motions hand in the direction of everything* the whole circus. It's such an unexpected live action Batmanverse experience with a very distinct quality of storytelling, and you'll know if you like it by the pilot episode alone, you dont have to wait on the narrative to grow on you.
#quicksand piece of insane show my beloved 💗💞💓💕💖💗💕💓#i think that regardless of who you ask about Gotham TV;#the answer almost invariably is ''i want to be free from this fuckass show/i need to rewatch it every 6 months or i'll start killing''#and like that's literally what we're dealing with lmao. this show is irreplaceable (derogatory) (affectionate)#so if you feel compelled to give it a try and you like the style of the storytelling; do stay for the ride!#i do think it's an absolute must have [torture] experience for batjokes fans#like there's a whole inside joke about Gotham!Joker/s being so controversial that DC dropped the while entire package#and in continuation of that the whole entire show#out the window; declaring strictly that it's not part of canon mainline narratives. This Joker could not use the name; or the haircolor;#or the original suit design. And there's a very good reason for this blatant live action disowning#when Leto!Joker is canon#Gotham TV by principle is boundary breaking and rather extreme and unique and scares most Batman dudebros.#and the closest live action Batjokes depiction we have to the actual comics. take of it what you will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#hope you have a lovely time in case you decide to try it 🧡#gotham tv
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i didn't realize you were such a big fan of rhaegar, he's definitely a controversial figure in the fandom
i would classify myself as a rhaegar enjoyer or understander but sure, yes. that’s my guy, my black hole at the center of the narrative, my story within the story, my darling miserable failure, tristan and lancelot/guinevere and paris/hector and three different romantic heroes crammed into one singular person whose entire life was a chosen one deconstruction saw trap that he could never escape and ending up pulling not only everyone he loved but also the entire continent into with him. grrm simply went off in the character creation with this.
#also because i think it’s funny.#i dont care at all about relating to characters in fiction—that’s not what it’s about for me#however. against my will the two characters in all of the asoiaf-related properties that i most identify with are rhaegar and alicent#because i also had a crazy abusive father who was obsessive with me and extremely controlling#(in alicent’s case it’s father-husbands since she got a two for one special twice)#and who i watched wither away into a husk for years and years while i thought about killing him but never could#so the psychic damage i take from this fandom due to my unique life experiences is off the charts wild#bc they’re as you said both controversial in fandom and with almost zero (0) overlap between people who aren’t annoying abt either one#my blocklist at this point is probably longer than the current draft of twow#like i did not mean for this to happen but here we are#rhaegar targaryen#asoiaf
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sometimes i see the most black and white opinions that is absolutely mind blowing and then i remind myself that half of you read aftg at like 13 and are still teens right now and then is not so shocking anymore
#this is not condescending i know it sound like it#it's just that being a teen is very !!!! this is THE ANSWER!!!#I FOUND IT AND IT'S THE RIGHT ONE DON'T TAKE IT FROM ME!!#and like i think sometimes adults forget to be sympathetic of the feeling#just don't be terrible#and try (when you can) remember that almost everything ever depends on context#there is no one rule fits all#and basically everything can be debated#aftg#all for the game#controversial#i guess
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one of the reasons i love pearl jam is they don't just write songs about political topics but they actually support, advocate and donate for them too. that's reproductive rights, indigenous rights, climate change activism, gun control, anti-war, and homelessness issues
edit: and that’s just the stuff they’ve written music about. they also post about lgbtq+ rights and gender affirming care, and raise money for things like a cure for epidermis bulosa and the maui wildfires
#'oh no my favourite band is immensely problematic/controversial/etc...' can't relate!!!! skill issue!!#also the most insane thing about this all is a massive amount of their fans are conservatives with zero media literacy like#if you take a look at their latest instagram post like. almost all the comments are going on about the 'woke' and antivaxxer stuff#and every so often there's outraged comments like 'since when did pearl jam get woke/political/liberal????'#as if there's not MULTIPLE songs written about certain presidents..#someone likes to sing along but knows not what it means i guess#you know what i'm saying#pearl jam
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having mutuals that are into warriorcat books means I see discourse posts like "berrywhisker was MEAN and said a slur and killed bunnytoes and if u like them ur a misogynist" and I'm like "uh-huh yeah uh-huh. Ok. My cat would do that too"
#as a cat owner it makes me incapable if taking those books as seriously bc i just think#''bro theyre cats i know theyre too stupid to make this work''#but maybe my cats are just rlly dumb specifically#ironically my mom is the one thats into warri0rs#bc she decided to read the ones i had#(i never finished bc i tried to read them when i was really really fixated on pjo#so it was a fail bc i just went right back to the teenz after i read 1 singular warri0rs book)#and she got genuinely invested in the books#one time i asked her abt a controversial character (i csnt remember who i think it's squirrel something)#i kept seeing shit abt just to see what she would say#i am not posting her take bc like what if ppl start doxxing my mom or smth#she still has the books in her room#actually fun detail the first book with the orange cat she just found lying around at a Starbucks and grabbed it for me#and it smelled like coffee so it was enjoyable to read#but then the second book didnt smell like coffee and didnt have the greek myth teenz i was obsessed with so i didnt want to read it#anyway i have almost wanted to share warri0rs animations with her but i am not strong enough. also i dont think she would give a shit#rando thoughtz
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Ok controversial hot take: Hero is actually Larks kids and Normal is actually Sparrow's
#dungeons and daddies#look i know theyve been hinting that Normal is Lark's kid but hear me out#but wouldnt it almost be more narrativley satisfying if Normal was actually Sparrow'a kid?#like the parent that needs to get better spending all his time and focus on hero#who turns out to not even be his kid??#idk maybe this isnt a controversial take but im putting it out there
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desperately nailing boards on my doors and windows carpal tunnel in my wrists back pain from sitting like a shrimp bags under my eyes hair I haven't combed out in days leaving informative pamphlets outside and hiding behind glass with a pot as a helmet and a rusty wrench in my hands shaking weeping terrified crying
#kommento#// remasters are going to drop and I'm going to be a hater about it#// it is 2023. i am so so tired#// am I not popular enough to make a dent in the collective unconscious to have people think straight and not mindlessly follow a fanon#// that has been the bane of my existence for almost three years#// thank you to the sopping wet pathetic mess of a gas station attendant for taking the fall and being the controversial blorbo to teach me#// things about the internet. I will love you and only four people can understand#// I have not died but I am like an angry ghost haunting a whole town you can feel my malicious intent or you do not#// wish I had another active fixation on the side so this could balance out this is the millionth time I'm talking about it#// sometimes I also wish I could hole up and be a pixiv artist who's niche is what makes them popular but their identity is still vague#// I am worth a thousand a million a billion fans all the potential love a person can have for blorbo is stored in me#// and the burden is so heavy like I'm calcifer trying to keep alive but theres nothing but twigs and ash drowning out the actual flames#// anyway hi. this is your manager. they are so tired. and busy. for the whole month. or until they get their life together. they love you
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yknow i never thought id get to the point where id have such a strong one-sided disdain for someone that the very thought of them upsets me
#i almost hate that its not mutual but given what i dislike them for i think this is better#its about a pretty sensitive and controversial topic. i dont want to discuss it here bc i dont want to start drama#i will say that they have their reasons for taking the side they took and i have mine#i just cant even see them in passing without being like “ew that guy” and getting a sinking feeling in my core#i have them blocked but unfortunately i still see them around from time to time#sigh. i hate being an asshole why am i like this#my dumbass ramblings
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You know, besides the fact that they're demonstrably wrong about op's art, I'm really fucking tired of seeing this complaint about individual artists. This particular criticism was originally intended for big name publishers, Disney movies, AAA games, marvel comics, media with whole teams of professionally paid artists who were clearly being told to homogenize character designs into whatever was expected to sell better. That's why that's supposed to suck, because it's sloppy pandering and hard to excuse in a billion dollar brand.
It's really not a big deal if someone with their own solo personal project draws samey looking men or women or can't even draw humans at all, either because of skill limitations or just because they draw what they like best. Who cares when there's already millions of us smaller artists making stuff? It's genuinely the opposite problem. In mass media everything is so similar you have limited options. In webcomics and indie games you can absolutely just consume something else if something about one particular artist bugs you so much???
I’m honestly astounded by the number of times I’ve had someone complain that I don’t draw enough body diversity, I prove them wrong, and then they proceed to either deny it or get angry with me. It’s turning into a monthly occurance.
Bonus points if they’re also an artist and draw 0 body diversity.
#almost EVERY controversial media take in circulation is like this too#everything that gets slammed as bad virtue signaling#and even a couple things that unfortunately became common chud opinions#they always start with a more reasonable context and just get misappropriated
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I kid but the Kaidan being explicitly inexperienced to being domineering pipeline is important to ME.
#it's always shy inexperienced guys being blushing subs. Well not for me.#Kaidan is like. Okay well one of us has to do this so it's going to be me. We're negotiating rules and regulations etc.#that is the foot in the door.#not extremely dommy. Kaidan is very flexible to me; and I think different people can bring out different sides of you.#Miles needs to take a load off and Kaidan needs to let loose. I like the idea of this being what they bring out in each other.#with a different Shepard it wouldn't necessarily be that way#idk if shy is the word to use for Kaidan but in my view certainly inexperienced.#and perhaps controversially. Inexperienced with men specifically#'how long has Kaidan been openly bi' is something that's understandably going to change person to person#I manage to work with what mass effect gives us and point at me1 going 'it almost feels like Kaidan is overcompensating'#'with how often he mentions his attraction to women'. But likely they were going to make him bi and cut it then allowed it in me3#to be more inclusive; balanced 2 m/m and 2 f/f options.#so you know. I'm not going to hold anyone to that. But by Kaidan's own admission he's not been with anyone in a while
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“have you seen the abs on that man?” hagakure sat across of you. “sexy on a stick, i swear!” she giggles. she was going on and on about the guy that starred in the superman movie you girls put on last night. henry cavill was his name.
mina agrees with her statement with a nod. “he’s the hottest white man i’ve ever seen before.”
“sure, he was hot, but are we forgetting the misogynist comments he’s made? sexy is one thing, but being controversial is a whole ‘nother thing.” uraraka inserted her input.
“oh, please. i’d cook and clean for him anyday he asks.” mina retorted. both uraraka and yaoyorozu shake their head in shame.
“speaking of controversial.” uraraka murmurs under her breath, you peer over your shoulder, wondering the intent of her statement.
you notice bakugou making his way over to your desk, his eyes planted on you and you only. you shift uncomfortably. why the hell would he be coming to you? did you do something?
once he makes his way to your desk, you look up at him with a half smile.
“hey, bakugou. what’s up?”
his eyes analyze the other girls before looking back down on you.
“my pencil?”
you flutter your lashes at him. “pencil..?” you repeated in a trance of confusion.
he groans. “the fuckin’ pencil i gave you last week. i need it back.”
now it all clicks. you nod, laughing nervously because of your stupidity. you reach in your backpack and grab the black mechanical pencil that you forgot to lend back to bakugou.
your arm extends to the male in front of you, waiting for him to snatch it back.
“sorry.”
he gently grasped onto the pencil, his hand brushing against your fingers for a small moment.
“it’s whatever. just rather not be the one to find you after i lent you something.” he shoved the pencil in his pants pockets, leaving his hands in there. “that’s one of the last pencils i have.”
you shoot your eyebrows up in defense, quickly lowering them after. your eyes falling down to your desk for comfort.
“well, hope you take care of that one.” it was a half-joke. a lame one, might you add. you were just unsure on what to say. especially since it seemed like bakugou was lingering around your desk. as if he didn’t want to return to his seat just yet.
“so, what’d you score on your test?”
“ah…it wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t horrible.”
“well?” was he really desperate to know that bad? you knew bakugou was smart, so he probably only wanted to know so it could boost his ego.
you rubbed your arm out of shame. “a seventy-nine.” you stared at his face to recognize any humility or laughter, but there was none.
he shrugged. “should’ve asked for my help if you needed it.”
right. you almost forgot that bakugou offered to help you study and go over notes with him for the next test. it was such an out-of-bakugou thing to do that you nearly didn’t take him serious.
you nodded slowly, processing his information.
“i was planning on making it up, so maybe for that.”
“fine.” his short one-worded response was dull. but what else did you really expect? “next time, don’t steal my pencil.” was his last comment before leaving your presence.
you sat in your thoughts, reeling the conversation back in your mind. what the hell just happened? it was the most simple yet confusing conversation you’ve ever had. was bakugou joking with you or was he seriously irritated with the pencil situation?
regardless, you made a mental note that bakugou was very protective over his mechanical pencils.
once bakugou returned to his seat, he unzipped his backpack, secretly opening his pencil box. within the box were a collection of pencils. there were so many pencils that he could give one to all of class 1a and 1b and still have few left.
aside sat denki who was clearly peeking inside of bakugou’s bag.
“damn, bakubro. you saving up pencils for a potential pencil outage or something?” it’s denki. of course, he never used his inside voice.
“i will literally blow you out this fuckin’ window and across the lot.” bakugou turns his head immediately, a faint pink blush spreading across the apples of his cheek.
bakugou just didn’t want you to know that the pencil was obviously an excuse to talk to you.
pt 2 of the study sesh
#just a lil quick fluffy update#henry cavill is actually so fine tho#this used to be me with my girl crush LMAO#bakugo katuski#bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bakugou smut#bnha#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugo x reader#bnha bakugou#bnha x reader#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo my hero academia#katsuki bakugo fluff#katsuki bakugo imagine#katsuki smut#katsuki x you#katsukibakugou#my hero academia bakugou#bakugou fluff#my hero academia#mha bakugo katsuki#mha x reader#mha bakugou#katsuki bakugou#katsuki x y/n#katsuki fluff
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*cough* agatha with a controversially young lover *cough*
✧₊⁺ 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐟
𝐀/𝐍: I'm combining this with another request for Agatha and a virgin reader because it seemed like a very natural fit. I hope that's okay.
𝐂𝐖: Age gap (reader's in their 20s), Virgin!Reader, Dom!Agatha, Oral (Agatha receiving), fingering, accidental exposure, slightly mean domming
Agatha called you out for eyefucking her the first time you met. Reveling in the flustered panic that followed.
“What? No, no, I um- I didn't mean to-”
“Oh, relax twerp, it takes more than a horny Zoomer to make me clutch my pearls.”
As unimpressed as she seemed with you though, that wasn't the last time she sought you out.
Because apparently, despite your age you made the best potions of anyone in the state, and her need for one drove her right up the grungy stairwell to your apartment.
Dressed to the nines in her expensive blazer and fancy updo, she looked almost comical outside your door, glaring through the threshold. “I'm here for the potion.”
“Shhh.” You ushered her inside, glancing over your shoulder. “My roommates don't know… about my extracurriculars.”
“Of course you have roommates.”
Of course that was the only part of your statement she addressed.
“It’s finished, come in.”
She followed you to your bedroom, a sad little thing, half taken up by your desk alone.
Your college textbooks were pushed precariously to the side to make way for your supplies, from which you plucked a vial and handed it to her.
“Here you go.”
Agatha held it to the light, examining the dark liquid inside with something like approval sparkling in her eyes… At least until you opened your mouth.
“That'll be 500 dollars.” You said, wincing as her inspecting gaze turned to wide, fiery eyes. “...Mam.”
“500 dollars? Are you joking?”
“Sorry. College is expensive.”
You wisely didn't mention that most of your customers were a lot less magically experienced than her and easier to gouge.
“I didn't even bring 500 dollars.”
You sighed. You could -as was evident- really use the money but you weren't going to pick a fight with The Agatha Harkness over it, that was for sure.
“Fine. 100.”
She huffed but reached into a pocket and handed you the bill.
“Great. Just great. Ya know, if you think I'm wound tight now you should see me on a budget.”
“Uh huh.” You couldn't muster sympathy for her if you tried, you doubted you could even brew a potion to. “I'd think at your level you could just magic-up whatever you want... I'm not even sure why you need me.”
Nerve struck, her only reply was a withering glare as she tucked the potion away in an inner pocket of her jacket.
Talking just to fill the silence, shooting your shot because you figured you weren't going to make her any more pissed off, you continued,
“If stress relief is what you're after there are other ways. Free ones.”
You didn't know if she'd catch your meaning, you thought it might be better if she didn't, but oh, she did.
Suddenly, you were the center of Agatha Harkness’ attention, a gleam in her eye and a smirk twisting her face.
“You offering one?”
Your stomach lurched. Did that actually work?
You clawed inwards for any shreds of confidence, enough to get out, “I, well, I could be-”
“That what the discount was for? You wanted a different kind of payment?”
And that threw you off completely.
“What? No, no I-”
“Careful.” She teased. “A sweet little thing like you really shouldn't be offering up what you're not willing to part with.”
She was fucking with you.
And you stumbled right into her trap with no thoughts of getting out.
“I'm not, I mean, I am, I'm willing, if you…”
As much as she clearly enjoyed chewing on your embarrassment, you could tell her patience was thinning by the straining look on her face. She wasn't going to stand there all day waiting for you to get a sentence out.
Fuck it.
Agatha Harkness respects bravery you rationalized, seconds before your lips hit hers.
The terror of free-falling only faded as her lips pushed back against your own, returning your kiss with one more domineering, more violent. So heated your brain was almost melting.
Agatha pulled back, but with swelling lips you hardly felt the difference.
“You sure you know what you're getting yourself into?”
You nodded dumbly, “I’m really into you.”
“Oh, I know you are, Hon, that's not what I'm asking.” Her tone was dark and steady, as soft as a caress. “Do you honestly think you can handle me?”
You swallowed, eyes locked on hers against every instinct to avert them.
“I-I’ll try my best.”
She laughed, a breathy kind of cackle that left a wicked grin on her face.
“Prove it.”
Her hands on your shoulders turned heavy and almost thoughtlessly you sank to your knees under their strength.
“You want me to…?”
She gave you that same look again, like she was waiting for you to catch up and running low on patience.
“Okay… wow, um…”
Your hands, so steady and precise an hour ago while you worked, shook as you reached for Agatha's zipper.
This couldn't have been real, you waited with bated breath for her to slap your hands away.
For someone to jump out of your closet laughing.
For her to pull out a dagger and slit your throat in some kind of virgin sacrifice ritual, because, hey, what was more likely, Agatha Harkness fucking you or killing you?
But her zipper went down, and with a huff Agatha pushed her pants and panties down right along with it.
Holy fuck.
You nearly moaned at the sight of the most perfect cunt you had ever seen in your life. Which was redundant, but it was the only thought your fritzed, virgin brain would supply.
But with white-hot lust came a knot in your stomach as it dawned on you that hundreds of years of experience was staring you down.
How could you possibly live up to that? Be adequate even?
“This is where you lick it.”
You startled at her gravelly voice.
Right. Try now, wallow in your inevitable failure later.
“Should we lock the door first?” you asked, glancing at your crudely installed cheap lock.
“I don't know, should we?” She asked rhetorically, looking like she was seconds away from pushing your head where she wanted it herself.
“Right, nevermind.”
You dove forward, licking straight up her slit and earning a catch in the older woman's breath.
Was she surprised? Expecting you to back out just as much as you expected her to?
Wetness gathered on your tongue, a taste of pure sex that made your head spin. You heard yourself moan. Go figure you’d be the first one to.
You lapped greedily at her cunt, a sloppy exploration that you could've spent an eternity on, but Agatha wasn't having that.
“More.” She exclaimed, halfway between a moan and a growl.
You weren't too inexperienced to know what that meant.
You dragged your tongue up and prodded around for her clit, barely making out the little bud.
Okay. Now what?
You wracked your brain for sex tips. The alphabet trick? Did that even work in real life?
Testing the waters, you used your tongue to spell out your name on her clit, and in a flood of relief and liquid heat you heard a breathy, little moan above you.
Her bundle of nerves swelled under your tongue, hardening into something defined, something easy to play with.
“Oh! That's it! That's a good girl.”
God, she was gonna make you cum on the spot talking like that.
Lust caving in your brain, your licks dissolved to messy, thoughtless circles and crosses. Not that Agatha seemed to mind.
You glanced up at her with hazy vision. Her arm was pressed to her forehead, fist closed as tightly as her eyes. She was already so close.
Possessed by a desperate need to give her that final push over the edge you brought your fingers to her pussy, sliding two inside of her in a gentle thrust.
Agatha moaned through gritted teeth, clenching hard around you while you curled inside her, grazing her g-spot.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Saliva and Agatha’s own wetness dripped down her legs, down your hand, down your chin. She trembled beneath you, breath hitching and coming back a choked sob.
Violent flutters errupted beneath your tongue and around your fingers, but you didn't dare ease up without her command, you didn't until she broke off panting.
“Easy, Tiger, what are you doing? Going for two?” She all but gasped out.
“Sorry.” You said, no more composed yourself. “So, um, was that okay?”
She laughed, “yeah, you did good.” As if remembering that she was the wicked witch of Westview she twisted her features into something meaner. “But don't get too cocky, it's been a long time for me.”
Before you could be proud of the praise or offended by it being cut down you jolted -nearly out of your skin- with the click of your door opening.
“Woah! Ever heard of a sock on the door?”
Oh fuck.
You couldn't even look at your roommate. Wide, apologetic eyes on a groaning Agatha pulling her pants up. Annoyed but not quite embarrassed about this stranger getting an eyeful of her ass.
With her own scolding gaze burning into yours you could only cringe deeply, watching as any chance of Agatha returning the favor faded into the abyss.
“I gotta say, I think this warrants a refund.”
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