husband-steve-cortez

[husband-steve-cortez]

being gay is so fun I just sucked off this mechanic guy and then he diagnosed my car issues lol

[husband-steve-cortez]

Everyone wants to be a dog until the separation anxiety sets in and you’re pacing around your room chewing on the drywall over completely innocuous events

[husband-steve-cortez]

dont let people tell u ur attraction to fire is "abnormal" or "hazardous" prometheus doesnt have his liver eaten every day for u to ignore the allure of arson

[husband-steve-cortez]

A love of schlocky horror movies doesn't feel quite right BUT psychological horror really getting to him. Hereditary makes him want to eat his own organs. Perhaps not entirely in a bad way. He might actually like really artsy horror films.

Eric's main hobbies involve modding and cleaning and maintaining his guns and calibrating his omni-tool. But I think I might give him a rapturous love of shitty horror movies.

(He does not handle overly psychological horror very well.)

[husband-steve-cortez]

To a much lesser degree I think Thane does this

I was thinking about Eric hobbies and watching movies and then my brain jumped to

When Kamal watches horror movies he stares at the screen with a stony fixed expression, his face barely changing as he absorbs it. There's a subroutine in his mind figuring out how he'd escape certain situations, noting down any interesting killing techniques used, and correcting any mistakes he sees, some of which he may state out loud ("A knife wound there wouldn't cause that much bleeding" "That would've killed him instantly" "Poison doesn't work that fast" etc.).

Horror movies are his favorite type of movie to watch.

[husband-steve-cortez]

Eric would also be beefier at 31. Much to think about. Still 5'2 though.

[husband-steve-cortez]

Kaidan and Shepard in me2: *have a (all things considered) mild argument that ends with them turning their backs on each other on different sides*

Me: Aw that's so sad

Me:

Me: What if they fought like physically

[husband-steve-cortez]

Well, bearing in mind that Eric would be ~31 instead of 22 and an N7 Commander it wouldn't be quite as embarrassing for him. He'd be a lot more confident with himself in general. There would be a little more tit for tat. Also wouldn't be quite so easy. Libido a little more in check.

Still, there is no age or universe where Eric and Horny Eric are not enemies, at least early into a relationship. And he'd still like, desperately need to get laid during this stressful time and he'd hate that it's Zaeed and he's here on the ship with Zaeed and Zaeed knows his number.

If Eric were Shepard his relationship with Zaeed would be insane.

And by insane I mean way less insane than what Ezra has going on but it would indeed mostly be hatefucking and Zaeed being a cocky asshole. It'd be so awful for Eric to have Zaeed right there with him on the ship.

[husband-steve-cortez]

Maybe Kaidan would throw a punch, would be that angry and on edge, because these are all things Kaidan has thought. About the situation, about himself. He's been haunted about what little he's been able to do to honor Shepard's work and prepare for the Reapers. Wondered to himself what Miles might think, if he were here.

It's enough to swallow him whole some days, but he can't just give up. He owes Shepard that much.

...And here Shepard is, pissed as hell, hurling every insult and accusation that's haunted Kaidan over the past two years.

Just a terrible mangling of grief and anger and guilt that Kaidan's pushed down and repressed as much as possible to keep functioning and moving forward, bursting to the surface.

So yeah, maybe Kaidan throws a punch. Maybe Miles isn't the only one not acting like himself.

Maybe Miles rubs salt in the wound and says "guess I'm lucky you didn't break my neck."

My brain is a machine that reads mshenko fluff and turns it into mshenko angst

Okay it wasn't really fluff it was a Horizon thing but I love making Miles an asshole about Horizon so much.

[husband-steve-cortez]

Slight edit: Miles' response to "What's gotten into you?" should be "You, lately."

Okaayyyyyy

[husband-steve-cortez]

need a battle brother to rub massage oils into my back as i sigh in relief from the quiet break after the long battle we just survived and i feel his calloused hands getting those knots and-

[husband-steve-cortez]

Repressed knight for repressed knight.

[husband-steve-cortez]

Kaidan also learns that he enjoys being a tease, enjoys having Shepard look at him and know he sees just a man and not a freak; a man so desirable he can cut through that carefully constructed persona and make the great Commander Shepard stumble.

(Kaidan does sometimes see a lot of himself in Miles sometimes. Pushes him to be more. Kaidan discovering he is sexy and desirable and allowed to desire is important to me and still a little difficult even more him.)

[husband-steve-cortez]

Which is why Kaidan needs to be a little aggressive, to manipulate and manwhore his way to Miles' side. To make Miles accept and enjoy the "base" parts of him.

Miles often doesn't think of himself as a man. He's a soldier, he's a hero, he's Commander Shepard, the icon the legend. He has to be. Has to be more than just a man if they're going to have any chance of winning against the Reapers. Can't be distracted by base things like "emotions" and "desires". Because he's normal.

[husband-steve-cortez]

Also all tinted through the lens of Miles having previously lusted after Kaidan and felt a little gross for doing so. He's used to tamping down this feeling and almost doesn't know what to do with "You're allowed, nay, encouraged."

Miles often doesn't think of himself as a man. He's a soldier, he's a hero, he's Commander Shepard, the icon the legend. He has to be. Has to be more than just a man if they're going to have any chance of winning against the Reapers. Can't be distracted by base things like "emotions" and "desires". Because he's normal.

[husband-steve-cortez]

Was thinking if Miles is a vanguard he figures out how to only blow half his barrier with Nova due to Kaidan's influence.

[husband-steve-cortez]

In an angsty Miles mood and thinking about the version of him and Kaidan where there's still a bit if a wall there that Kaidan has trouble breaching. That Miles can't quite stop himself from low-key chasing death. Can't say with conviction he doesn't want to die, even with Kaidan holding on to him. Kaidan deserves better anyway.

God they have so little time together. Spent so much time apart.