#like Please i feel like we're not asking for a lot

[jeanjauthor]

One of my friends in the SCA (medieval society) told me of a time when they were coming back from a day-trip event where they had served as "bodyguards to the king & queen" of our local kingdom. They were hungry, so they pulled into a Denny's. Since it was a day-trip, they were all wearing their medieval clothing, etc. This, of course, wouldn't be the weirdest thing to walk into a Denny's, but it was still important to be polite about it.

Unfortunately, the driver's car had a busted side window that was just plastic baggied over until the owner could get it replaced, so they couldn't fully secure the vehicle. This was a problem. They had been in garb (medieval outfits) serving as bodyguards (aka wearing visible weapons, aka lots & lots of cutlery way sharper than a table knife). So they didn't feel it was right to leave, y'know, weapons in an unsecurable car. Thgey could hide the axes under the front passenter seat, but pretty much nothing else.

So they just wore it into the Denny's.

My friend said, "God bless Denny's Restaurant waitstaff, they don't blink at anything." The woman just asked them if they wanted a booth or a table. Not wanting anything at their backs (they were wearing cutlery in back sheaths), they asked for a corner both, three big burly guys in leather and chain armor, and a petite waif of a lady-in-waiting in a lovely Renaissance gown (my friend).

Well, they sit down and get their menus handed to them, and just as the waitress walks off (way too soon for anyone to have called), a pair of cops walk in. They greet the waitress, who seats them at a booth across the way. They, too, receive their menus, and start to look...when the cop facing the corner booth looks over and does a double-take at the three medieval warriors and medieval milady perusing menus while wearing...cutlery. Sheathed, but the very sharp kind.

Naturally, he catches his partner's attention, they both stare, then get up and cross to the table. My SCAdian friends all smile and nod greetings, and ask, "Anything we can help you with, officers?"

"Why are you wearing the swords and knives in this restaurant?"

The driver immediately pipes up, "Oh, that's kind of my fault. We were at a medieval event, serving as bodyguards to the king and Queen. Unfortunately, my window was cracked, and then someone finished busting it out last night, and I can't get it replaced until Tuesday--this is a weekend, and all. So it's only taped over with plastic. None of us wanted to leave these things in an unsecured car, and we're all hungry, so we kind of have to keep an eye on everything. Technically, there are also two hatchets in the car, but they're hidden under the seats. Anyway, that's why we're keeping a close eye on them in here, instead of leaving them out there. It just wouldn't be responsible. You can't exactly hide a longsword under the front passenger seat."

The cops eye them over, and my friend said it looked like they respected that reply, but then the other cop says, "Could you put them all on the table, please?"

She and her three friends kind of eye each other, eye the table--it, at least, is a big corner table--eye each other and the cops again. And my friend asks, "All of them? Are you sure? We have a lot on us, and this'll take a bit of time."

He taps the tabletop and says, "All of them. On the table."

"We're going to have to get out of the booth to get at some of it, sir," one of the men says. "Is that alright?" The cops nod and back up, so they start sliding out one at a time and divesting themselves of weapons. Not drawn out of their sheaths (if they can avoid it, some were booth-sheath types), and not dropping them loudly on the table either, just neatly laying them down one after another. The men were each carrying over a dozen weapons.

My friend...was still going. She gets to twenty, including having to hike up her skirts and petticoats to get at thigh-sheaths as discreetly as she could. She then grimaces, and says, "Do I really have to take out all of them and put them on the table? Because I've got six more weapons serving as boning in my corset, but I'll have to go into the bathroom to get undressed, and then I can't put my dress back on without having problems getting it laced back up, and I don't want to have to come out with my clothes gaping open or my dress fully off. I'll do it if you insist, but I'd have to walk out here either half undressed or entirely in my underthings. We may be the only ones in here right now, but there are cameras, and anyone else could come right in. I really don't feel comfortable about having to do that."

The cop who had demanded all of the weapons be put on the table turned beet red, and the other cop quickly said, "Uh, no, ma'am. If you say you have six more weapons, we'll believe you--how many weapons do you have?"

"Eleven." "Thirteen." "Twelve on me and two hand axes in the car." "Twenty-six."

The beet-red cop rubs his eyes and said, "Jesus Christ! This lady is like watching a clown car of cutlery!"

His comment busted up the group, and he waves his hand.

"Okay, okay. You don't have to bring it all out, ma'am. I'll take your word for it you got six more that you can't get to quicklyk. I, uh, wouldn't ask a lady to do that. Go ahead and put it all back on, keep good track of it, and you folks have a good night. Enjoy your meal, and drive safe."

"You, too, officers!" They started putting everything back on as the cops go back to their table, and of course it takes longer to do that than it does to get it off. Then one of the cops comes back over. They all kinda freeze mid-re-cutlery-ing, and the driver asks, "Can we help you with anything else, officer?"

"Just out of curiosity, what do you all do for a living, when you're not being bodyguards in a medieval play? And do you know how to fight with this stuff?"

My explained it's not a medieval play, but a medieval society, where people do arts & crafts--such as making all the stuff they're wearing--plus non-choreographed fighting, albeit with completely different materials and a whole bunch of safety regulations.

Then my friend says, "I'm an EMT, and I do fencing and archery. He runs a construction company, and does fencing and heavy fighting--rapier versus sword-and-shield. Our driver's a computer tech, and also a heavy fighter. And he's a chef and an archer. Also my husband. He doesn't fight in the SCA, but he does spar with me, so he can, but he doesn't enter any tournaments.

"I don't get to enter as many tournaments as I'd like, because I'm usually stuck doing the Chiurgeon work--that's basically first aid folks, since it's a fancy medieval word for 'surgeon.' And everyone wants someone competent on hand for that, for which I qualify, obviously. But with thaat said, these boys will all behave with this stuff, because they all know what my bedside manner is like with fools. Especially when I'm off the clock, so they don't dare hurt themselves or others."

I talked later with her husband about it, and at this point in the story, he said "Yeah, it was the funniest shit! The three of us all just nodded quickly in confirmation with expressions of, She is the scariest one of us all, officer. And he looked at us like, Are you kidding me, she is the scariest? But then he looks at the pile of weapons on the table, forty percent of which is hers, and raises his eyebrows in that kind of Well, I guess she is, isn't she?"

My chef friend continued, saying the cop then added, "Do you always carry a weapon on you, ma'am?"

Her husband told me she gave him one her flat Are you being a fucking idiot? stares (tiny petite woman, scary death glare), and said, "I am an EMT. I carry all manner of things that could be used as a weapon. Mostly I wield them on clothes to get them out of my way in an emergency, but even a pair of scissors can be used as a weapon." With, her husband said, a look of, As you should very well know as a cop, you dumbass. Her husband was laughing by this point in his explanation, and said that the cop walked away looking like he'd been swatted on the butt and sent to a corner like a toddler who knew he'd done wrong.

Anyway, the rest of the story had one more twist: They finished putting on their cutlery, slid into the booth, and a few minutes later, the waitress came by to take their orders, along with offers of coffee. She then added, "Y'all get a free slice of pie on the house for dessert, too, for here or to go. Compliments of the night manager, because y'all just gave the whole crew a helluva laugh with your 'clown car of cutlery' trick! Just don't use any of your cutlery on our food. Health regulations, you know."

My chef friend said he knew that technically wasn't true, but they weren't about to get their weapons dirty without proper cleaning materials on hand (you never put a dirty knife in its sheath, because that's a recipe for disaster later on), so they just went on with ordering their meals.

At this point, other people did come in to have midnight meals, mostly long-haul truckers, and they were doing double-takes. One of them even kind of sidled over to the cops, and they couldn't hear the conversation, but my friend said she overheard, "No no," and "Twenty-Six," followed by the funniest wide-eyed double-take from the trucker fellow looking her way, then he quickly sidled off to go eat a quiet, peaceful meal at a far table.

Admittedly most of what they were wearing were knives in length, but each of them had on at least one sword, and my friend even had a second one (more of a short gladius in size, though not in shape) in a spine sheath, similar to what Wonder Woman wore in the movie, but this was literally over two decades before that movie came out.

She had to have help getting it back into the sheath, because she couldn't see where the mouth of the sheath was to put it back, and also didn't want her snood (that woven net thing at the back of the hair) to get caught on the quillions, so her husband had to do that. Drawing it wasn't as much of a problem, just putting it back. Also, unlike the movie version, her sword hilt was completely hidden by the back neckline of her chemise and gown, and she said it startled the cops when she pulled it out.

When the movie did come out (again, decades later), she complained heartily about how badly that sword was placed, not very well hidden at all, and very much about to get tangled up in all of those lacings. I had to agree. It was the only place she could hide the sword, but it definitely would have tangled in the lacings.

How many weapons is it practical for a fantasy character to carry?

Assuming no magic is involved, the answer might be more than you’d expect!

Patreon - everything else

[celuere]

Loud incorrect buzzer for that anon's failed obvious rage bait! 🔊🔊

Anyways! What do you think Arle's size and shape down there? (I just know she's massive) And do you think her hair is trimmed? Shaved? Or an absolute rainforest? And do you think her hair is fully white or it also has Tufts of black and red like her hair???

Wild request but hey? I know we're all curious what's underneath there.

Yours truly, sane Arle fan

-🎐

in the light of recent events, i‘m sharing my dick headcanons on a few of my favorite hyv women and how they‘d handle you in bed <333

characters: arlecchino, mavuika, clorinde, raiden, feixiao, acheron x fem!reader

cw: size kink, manhandling, bondage,, breeding, unprotected sex, titfucking

ALSO i started working on this prior to your ask so i thought i‘d just merge it together!

arlecchino

₊˚ପ⊹ a grower. is while soft around four inches long and can actually bring a proud length of seven to eight inches when she is hard as a rock for you <333

₊˚ପ⊹ her base is a bit thinner when compared to her shaft, with a slight curve upwards. perfect to hit every important spot inside of you!

₊˚ପ⊹ the black hair surrounding her base is always neatly trimmed along with the happy trail, she takes very good care of both <3

₊˚ପ⊹ carries the same gradient as the one on her arms, with a single arrow running along the downside of her dick

₊˚ପ⊹ she loves, loves, LOVES to feel herself grow hard inside of you, having you sit down on her when she still so so soft not as nearly as big as usual, making it easy to slip inside of your greedy pussy <3

₊˚ପ⊹ i don’t think this needs an explanation but she can’t even fit halfway inside when in her other form. the tummy bulge surely drives her fucking crazy, but a voice in the back of her mind would still be screaming at her to be gentle with you.

₊˚ପ⊹ but plead hard enough and she‘ll make sure to use your stretched out pussy as her own personal fleshlight.

₊˚ପ⊹ has a thing for watching her cum ooze out of your spent hole, she‘d often catch it with her fingers to stuff it back inside. wouldn‘t want to waste anything, right?

mavuika

₊˚ପ⊹ smaller than arle but a thick girl. she can never slip inside completely in one go, let alone without foreplay. 

₊˚ପ⊹ a shower actually! her size doesn’t change a lot once hard, there also isn’t a noticeable curve in her shaft

₊˚ପ⊹ by the time she is done with preparing you with her fingers you‘re already a fucked out mess, your clit puffy and aching from how good she fingerfucked you

₊˚ପ⊹ a messy but clean rainforest!

₊˚ପ⊹ she has nightsoul tattoos running up her shaft. do i need to say more????

₊˚ପ⊹ her favorite position has got to be cowgirl, watching you carefully trying to sit down on her cock as you do your best to fit her in, tip already dripping with precum from watching her wife struggle on her dick <333

₊˚ପ⊹ the way she has to hold herself back when you take her into your mouth to restrain from facefucking you. her cock is just a bit too thick for your throat to take, she really don’t wants to hurt you :((((

₊˚ପ⊹ has INSANE stamina and i mean that with all my heart. riding her equals a gym workout.

₊˚ପ⊹ intentionally breeds you. (consensually ofc) just the THOUGHT about getting you pregnant and starting a family with you OH her clothes are GONE.

clorinde

₊˚ପ⊹ lengthy shower! more slim but what she lacks in thickness… eight inches definitely make up for it.

₊˚ପ⊹ has a really nice curve and is actually soso easy to get hard. the bare sight of you sitting naked in her lap or just a messy make out session get‘s her THROBBING.

₊˚ପ⊹ keeps her bush always shaved clean sadly💔 but happy trail is still up tho!

₊˚ପ⊹ tie her up and ride her for all she‘s worth. really. just do it. save a horse, ride a champion duelist.

₊˚ପ⊹ do with her as you please. that woman has literally no backbone when it comes to you.

₊˚ପ⊹ she‘d let you grind on her abs. yes. grind. right on her sixpack. cock dripping with precum as her hands are fixed above her head while she is forced to watch you drench her skin as you drag your pussy over the surface of her muscles UGHHHH

₊˚ପ⊹ i don’t think she‘d be much into breeding, mostly avoiding coming inside and rather wants to dump her load on your cunt instead. or tits. or face. or ass. anywhere.

raiden ei

₊˚ପ⊹ this one was a bit tricky because of her puppet body, but… she is customizable. short, thick, slim, long, curved, not curved, whatever you desire.

₊˚ପ⊹ if you want her to have a happy trail, she‘d upgrade the puppet with great pleasure. same thing with the option to dump her cum into you.

₊˚ପ⊹ oh my, she loves seeing you full of her cum. breeding aspect aside. watching the sticky fluid slowly drip out of you after pumping you full of her…. let her go for another round.

₊˚ପ⊹ yes, she‘d give you a replica of her dick. with the same customizable parts.

₊˚ପ⊹ loves to fuck your tits SO MUCH. no matter how big or small, you‘ll make it work. and her semen spread all over your pretty face<33

₊˚ପ⊹ oh wow mindgames in her plane of euthymia. she‘d totally not go all out there. TOTALLY NOT.

₊˚ପ⊹ tagteaming against you with miko WOW WHO SAID THAT???????

feixiao

₊˚ପ⊹ how do i put it…. a beast. that‘s what she is.

₊˚ପ⊹ length. thickness. she’s got it all. eight inches, ladies and gentlemen. and she‘ll make sure to fit it all the way inside.

₊˚ପ⊹ not curved but who gaf about that when she still manages to hit all your spots almost effortlessly

₊˚ପ⊹ RAINFOREST DICK. that bush is well cared for but she only ever trims it if gets a bit too long for her liking ngh

₊˚ପ⊹ will take extra care of the trail of hair up to her belly button if she sees you have a certain liking towards it

₊˚ପ⊹ pray for your pussy tho once this woman gets in heat. stamina is a foreign word to her. she will be mounting you like a starved wolf

₊˚ପ⊹ but she does come relatively easy on the other sides my, can you even keep all of her inside?

₊˚ପ⊹ just puts you into whatever position she pleases. literally anything. one moment your getting your ass fucked before you suddenly find yourself in a mating press with her tip bruising your cervix!

₊˚ପ⊹ tummy bulges and feixiao go hand in hand. she sometimes slides herself inside extra slowly to watch it appear <3

₊˚ପ⊹ unlike clorinde, she’d have you ride her abs in order to earn her dick. you may only let yourself down on her boner once her skin is covered in your slick 

acheron

₊˚ପ⊹ feixiaos cockbuddy. only difference is that acheron is a grower! you‘re laughing until she grows to her full size. then it ain’t funny anymore.

₊˚ପ⊹ mmmmmh due to her roaming through the cosmos all the time, i don’t think she‘d put much care into he purple-white bush, other than cleaning it occasionally. 

₊˚ପ⊹ so perfectly curved it has your eyes rolling into the back of your head at the first thrust. she doesn’t have to do anything other than just fuck inside of you.

₊˚ପ⊹ not a fan of condoms but also isn’t too hot on getting you pregnant so she prefers to cum outside, but the sight of her stuffed pussy isn’t something she‘d mind if it does happen somehow

₊˚ପ⊹ her dick grows the same red flower surface once she unsheathes her katana btw.

₊˚ପ⊹ would fuck you in the most banal places, most of them where you two could easily be caught by passerby’s, but she don’t got the time to worry about such stuff.

₊˚ପ⊹ that happy trail would be going crazy tho. like absolutely fucking lickable.

₊˚ପ⊹ big fan of throat fucking you. your gagging, those teary eyes, smeared makeup, drool-cum covered chin, my fucking god she‘d do anything to forever be buried inside your throat.

[stoopidpigeonxx]

What is something that is completely random that the tuplar crew's s/o does that turns them on

( Basically just random things that turn the tuplar crew on )

goooood question! :-D

Curly

-You being.. innocent? I dunno. Whenever you ask a question that's obvious or pout your pretty lips, he's hard as a rock thinking about all the ways he could absolutely ruin you. He would never tell you this, though. He cares too much.

-When you play with his hair. Ohhhh my god. Not just the hair on his head, like, his chest hair. Twirling it on your finger and shit. He loves it. Bro is MOANING.

-that shit where you like.. nuzzle your face into his neck. It's so fucking cute to him, you're like a little cat or something. He especially loves it if you're doing it while super sleepy or just waking up.

Jimmy

-Sucking on anything. Could be a popsicle, could be a straw, doesn't matter. The only thing he can think about is that was my dick last night. This also works if you chew on your pens or something.

-Holding his hand. He relishes in the fact that you're so small compared to him. (plus, he likes knowing his fingers are so much bigger so they can hit all the right spots inside you ;b)

-wearing his clothing. Could be a hoodie or a shirt. Its a weird.. ownership/possessive thing. Like.. aw, they're wearing my stuff. They really belong to me.

Anya

-Nicknames/petnames. Especially If they're creative. She looooves personalized nicknames. It makes her feel like you really think a lot about her, and she just wants to kiss you silly <33

-Eye. Contact. She's not good at it herself, but if you are looking deep into her eyes while talking to her, she's folded more than origami.

-Little lesbian thingy, but she's a sucker for a woman with tattoos. Having a girlfriend who's inked up is her dream. She loves tracing the patterns, and if you get her initials tatted? Expect a wedding ring on your finger by tomorrow.

Daisuke

-my boy is young, so the most random shit can turn him on. Tying your hair up? Hard. Laughing at something he said? Bricked up. Wearing his hoodie? It's throbbing.

-but if we're talking specific things.. he loves it when his s/o is touchy. He's probably clingy himself, so having someone who matches that energy is such a turn-on.

-Playing. With. His waistband. Like, fidgeting with it, slipping your fingers under it a bit.. He's literally screaming in his head for you to just grab his dick already, PLEASE.

Swansea

-when a person can cook. No, not in some weird domestic 'a wife should cook for her husband' shit, he can cook himself something just fine. But a good cook is the easiest way to woo him.

-Good with kids. Oooh boy. He's past his baby-making prime, but if he wasn't, he'd have you knocked up by now. He misses his kids being little, so seeing you be sweet to little kids gets him going.

-Long hair. I read somewhere that he would be a sucker for someone with good hair, and I agree. Long Luscious locks are his favorite thing ever.

[hellsslibrary]

PLEASPELALEPLARE SAY THAT YOU PLAY IN DOL??? I NEED HEADCANONS FOR THAT BITCHES ASAP WITH MALE TOP READER BECAUSE I FIXKUNG HATE FEM READERS ONE AAAAAAHADHHRHSS (SORRY I'M NOT ENGLISH BUT PLEASE)

Damn, imagine if we were mermaids and you had a dick with spikes, and I had a vagina like the Mariana Trench and ... (quotes from my husband day I adore him)

MASTERLIST is here.

#a.n. : see how desperate the person is? Gotta satisfy them, or their uterus/dick will explode and it will be my fault. Never thought I'd get a DoL request, but fuck yeah. Please give me more DoL requests.

Characters: School Love Interests (you're here), Other Love Interests (coming soon)

!!Warnings: switch!top!gn!reader (male leaned, although options with vaginas and penises are mentioned and reader is they/them and he like two times), bottom!characters (there are both cis and trans versions here, since I headcanon some of them as such, tho pronounces are he/him), honestly there are too many of them, considering the game itself is built. So the are below all the characters. Whitney's part has a bottom!reader clause, but it's marked so you don't have to read it (my husband extraterrestrialized this and I said hell yeah), reader is the player.

Kylar the Loner.

!!Warnings: pregnancy, size difference, mention of kidnapping, bondage, role playing, dirty talk, smells, underwear stealing, humping, mention of full body pillow, erotic drawing, he is delulu yandere.

My sweet cupcake, what can I say about you, honestly... It seems to me that he definitely should have a kink for the difference in size. Like, even with the smallest player's physique, he's still only a little taller??? And considering that with the biggest player, he looks like Thumbelina, you can't say that he doesn't. This guy was definitely fantasizing about how a player would pin him to something with this huge body (or a small body too, you'll be stronger than this guy anyway, it seems to me... If he's not hysterical, of course, hehe).

His hygiene definitely improved after he met the player. Like, just to impress them and not look like a mess (he's still a mess). So he definitely has a fucking jungle in his pants. And he's quite comfortable with it, although if you ask him to remove them, then of course he will. But yes. The tough, black jungle is right there. He's VERY hairy.

Uh, if we're going to talk about penis size, then it seems to me that he has an amazingly large penis for his height. Would I say about 7.3 inches? It's also curved to the left, because that's how I feel. If we're talking about pussy, I think it's surprisingly pale compared to the rest of his body, and he has a surprisingly large clitoris on his own. And if you're a genius like me and you're choosing tirs for a male character, then fuck, he's got a C-cup (there's a lot that could be hiding under his hoodie, lol).

Definitely the most talkative during sex. He's also whiny, especially the first time he loses his virginity (and especially if the player is also a virgin). Fuck, the king of dirty talk!!! It may be very strange, nasty and focused on how you impregnate him (or vise versa), but no one could talk to you like that, he could write you a fanfiction while riding on your dick and at the same time manage to hack into the Pentagon and brew spicy noodles and would not see any problems in it.

I think he has sensitive ears. Do you know this dialogue where he says that the player's ears are not as sensitive as in his dream??? Usually dreams reflect reality (I don't believe in this heresy, but I need a reason), therefore someone must have sensitive ears and it's definitely him, if not the player. I can just imagine how he would twitch and blush if you could bite his ear and whisper something there.

An unequivocal fetish for smells. Are you saying he's stealing the player's underwear for nothing??? Absolutely not. I doubt very much that he uses it on his genitals, as he thinks that the smell will be erased sooner, so he practically suffocates himself in the fabric, inhaling this smell. Even if the player smells like grandma, or absolutely disgusting like garbage, or like something sickly sweet right up to the point of getting sick in the head, it's still the best smell in the world (as long as it's not the smell of someone else's sperm).

Role-playing games??? This guy literally played some kind of wedding with us after the kidnapping. He was also literally acting in a skit (even if not in the role he wanted). He would definitely be a fan of this thing. And would especially love something old-fashioned or fantasy!! Type vampire × human, aristocrat × servant, vampire × werewolf. And something else where the player's attention will be completely on him, as well as in the dominant plan (he likes it when the player takes control, come on), such as policeman × criminal, concubine × king, husband × husband/wife (these two were invented by my hubby, lol still true).

He definitely has something to do with bondage (you can't say no, this guy literally tied up a player in his basement and rode on their dick/fucked them and whatever else). And he would definitely like to be tied up by a player, especially if the player is already many times stronger and could break him like a match. Although it's fucking nice for him to keep himself in power, too.

He would definitely like the same things that his partner would like. It doesn't matter how dangerous or vile it may be (without examples, everyone has their own degree of understanding of this). But fuck, seriously. You could say, like, "listen, I want to have sex in a swamp that's probably home to fifteen thousand different deadly bacteria, but you'd look too fucking sexy in mud," and he wouldn't hear anything except the part after the "but."

He would have loved humping. It doesn't matter what it is. Are you telling me that this person has a full-height player's pillow and he has never rubbed against it??? And didn't attach a dildo/flashlight to it??? Fuck, absolutely not. He'd love to rub his genitals against something, especially if it's not a player's thing, just so he can imagine how their skin would feel under them and all that.

He would cum in seconds (in my game, he cums in just two or three actions from the player????). Seriously, he would cum even without stimulation in the initial stages, just from the voice or from the overly sexy look of the player in front of him. His poor virgin brain would just explode.

He loves to draw a player in erotic poses or situations (canonically) and show them this. And then play it back, especially if the player himself reduces it by saying, like, "Oh, it looks sexy. Do you want to repeat it?" He will literally melt into a puddle.

Would never admit it, but he loves it when a player kisses/licks/strokes his scars, bruises and scratches. He doesn't find these parts of himself attractive, so what if his partner did it?.. Ka-sploosh!

And finally, the strange headcanon! I think he has a birthmark somewhere that slightly resembles the silhouette of a player... To make him believe even more in fate, love at first sight, and all that.

Sydney (nevermind which).

!!Warnings: body writing, mention of body fluids, reading as erotic event, size difference, hair pulling, pregnancy, cum on the face, semi public sex, sex in clothes, mention of mythical creatures, sadomaso kinda, wax.

So. Let's talk about Sydney as a whole, since his "personalities" differ only in their overall "emancipation"!

An unequivocal one hundred percent fetish for writing on the body, canonical, yes. But why doesn't anyone talk about it? No one wants such a handsome man to write all sorts of things on them??? Absolutely anything, because he would have written anything if the player had asked politely. And I would let him write anything on me if I were you, I'll be honest, especially those stupid emoticons. >:(

Not exactly sexy, but intimate! If a player had a lot of tattoos, they would definitely like to paint them over, like coloring books for children. I thought it was cute, so let it be here.

Canonically loves the taller player, so... The library, his desk, the evening, the two of you, he's sitting on the counter, you're pressing him against it, pawing him, kissing him, it doesn't matter what you do there, as long as he clings to you, while staring at you with those beautiful amber eyes.

Incredibly caring after sex, when he gets used to it all. He will definitely make sure that the player is satisfied and has finished as much as he wanted, he will definitely hug and praise the player if they need to, feed or drink the player if necessary and wash too. He will absolutely fall in love three times more if they do it in return.

During sex? Even better. The guy would definitely bring you to orgasm with his mouth/fingers/toys/friction, that is, without penetration, at least once. Unambiguous additional stimulation if you need it and when he learns your erogenous points. One hundred percent praise to any side of your body if you find it unattractive.

He loves it when they cum on his face. Anyone with glasses likes it when they cum on their face, I said so (I know it's hard to rub it off afterwards, but anyway). Especially at the beginning, after he loses his virginity and he gives head to the player and when they finally cum, he blushes so incredibly hard from it. He probably cries a little too when he realizes that he's going to make the player cum.

He's not a fan of dirty talk in my opinion, especially early Sydney, but he would love it if a player whispered something to him about the future. That is, giving him a hint about something long-term, even if you whispered to him that he was going to get pregnant, even though he was a cis man, it would still be sweet.

I came up with the idea of a fetish, the name of which I don't remember, but fuck... Imagine reading books during sex??? Especially in terms of roles??? Especially if you both get in each other's way while reading your piece??? It's hot. He definitely likes it, especially since he has a pleasant voice, it should be good.

So, let's talk about genitals! The penis is definitely not too outstanding, since the guy has spent in a chastity belt practically all life so about 5 inches. If we're talking about pussy, then definitely tiny labia and the same tiny clitoris. If we talk about tits... A-cup? Maybe a B-cup? They're small but not tiny.

He definitely doesn't bother with his hair much, because before his relationship with the player, he literally wore iron underpants, lol. But he adheres to hygiene absolutely, and his hair is also completely shaved off after the start of the relationship.

I think he likes being pulled by his hair. Not much. They just tilt his head back during penetration, hold his hair during kissing/oral sex, and just stroke his head.

A canonical masochist, albeit a hidden one. Plus, he's a sadist. So.... Listen to me. Wax. I fucking want to drip something on this guy's body or have him do it, it doesn't matter. He would tremble so much, trying not to show how much he liked it, even though he was absolutely flowing during the process from a pleasant mixture of pain and pleasure.

Theoretically speaking, he would agree to a lot as long as it's not too traumatic, too public and as long as it doesn't contain any bodily fluids other than saliva and semen (he canonically despises blood... And everything else, yes).

And of course, his canonical pregnancy kink (why does everyone in this game want a baby, I'm crying, except Avery of course). Definitely, his pupils will turn into hearts if one of you can get pregnant (if not, then I think it will be easy to convince him that this is possible, because he is a very stupidly smart person).

Sex in clothes??? For some reason, it seems to me that he would like to look at the outlines of the player's body or at his own if they were in front of a mirror, for example. Just imagine what's underneath those layers of fabric, even if he's seen it all many times.

Semi-public sex. And no, not just the canonical library and the mall (I'm still disappointed that he can't be fucked somewhere on the beach or in a temple, not under certain conditions). He would worry that someone would see you, try to be incredibly quiet, cling to you as if you were the only thing holding him in life.

By the way, he's probably the quietest of the four. Most of time he just breathe heavily, maybe he whisper prayers or something about how well he feel. It's quite difficult to get full-fledged moans out of him.

Well, it's a strange hedcanon for my favorites... Would you definitely think of the player as some kind of mythical creature? It doesn't matter if it's sexy or not, just the fact that his brain slides to the player's body in the form of some vampire, ending with some nonsense with tentacles, and then realizing arousal and hoping that the player will enter the library today sounds funny.

Robin the Orphan.

!!Warnings: forest sex, bathroom sex, mutual masturbation, cockwarming, nipple play, voyeurism, mention of bruises.

It will probably be the most difficult, because he is very... A controversial character. I love him, but he fucking annoys me sometimes. Does a guy literally get offended if he loses a game or if a player pushes him away when trying to have sex with high confidence??? He's sweet, but what the fuck is that. I'm still taking his debt on myself though, considering he's probably the most adequate of them all.

Well, it doesn't matter. Let's start with the food kink? The guy is poor in his own way. So imagine if he ever sees a player's body strewn with even the cheapest snacks or sweets. The guy will literally explode on the spot. Even if it's just plain whipped cream.

Mmm, also role-playing games. These silly dialogues where we talk about the characters of some video game that they both play gave me this idea, especially considering that they mean each other there. So of course the captain player will fuck this elf or whoever it is.

He's definitely a voyeur. It doesn't matter if he's watching or if he's being watched (only by the player, of course). It just relaxes to some extent, and the trust, and just taking the shackles off those cheap clothes on him.

He has a habit of biting the player's genitals when he gives them oral sex. He doesn't quite bite, but he chews, touches it lightly with his teeth. I'm not sure how it feels on a vagina, but on a dick? For me personally, it feels good, especially if that little bitch giggles at it.

The quietest during sex. He canonically doesn't even speak during it, lol (hopefully he'll learn one day). He probably just buries his face in the player's shoulder, hugging them, or buries his face in a pillow and just enjoys the sensations, breathing heavily.

I feel like he would really hate to sit still during this. That is, he would not be able to stay in the same position for a long time, or would not be able to tolerate for a long time if, for example, you rubbed against each other for several minutes without doing anything else. He would constantly try to turn you over or do something else.

A huge fan of jerking off. Mutual jerking off especially! He loves to put his feet on the player's hips while they rub their cocks against each other. He would have finished as quickly as possible from this. (This also works if you don't have a dick or he doesn't have a dick; he or you could get your dick lost on another's vagina, or scrissoring, of course)

A fan of outdoor sex!! I love the picnic event in the game, so... He will feed you deliciously (sandwiches with tea), and then he will throw you on the blanket and do whatever you want together. He just loves all this scenic beauty of forests, lakes and just vegetation everywhere.

Cockwarming... During the game... It would calm him down! He feels your cock inside him (or vice versa), feels this warmth, fullness, you are next to him and for some reason the game becomes easier and for some strange reason he becomes focused.

So, the genitals... The penis is definitely bent down, the head is very thick, the penis itself is thin, about 5.7 inches in size. If we're talking about a pussy, it's quite ordinary, but he would have large labia and a mole on them. Little tits... B-cup. Unambiguous. And he would also have very attractive puffy nipples.

And speaking of nipples. I think they're pretty damn sensitive. He loves when a player's fingers or tongue are on his boobs, squeezing the muscles there, and then squeezing those rosebuds, causing him a familiar knot in his stomach.

His pubic hair is fine. They are not particularly neat, but they are trimmed, he more than observes hygiene, everything is fine there. And his hair is surprisingly soft there, so everything is fine!!

The idea came up right now about strangulation. In my opinion, he would have liked it if the player had held his neck while they were doing this (maybe squeezed if Robin was completely relaxed). Although this kink will immediately disappear if he survives the abduction that occurs if you do not take on Robin's debt.

Sex in the bathroom!! I really like this scene. And Robin, too. He sees you completely naked, just for him, surrounded by water and foam, while you wash each other, fuck, and then wash each other again. Well, what could be better?

Loves body-to-body sex. Well, for example, where you or he are lying on top of each other or where you are hugging and your bodies are almost one hundred percent touching. It brings him the necessary and incredible comfort.

One more small clarification about voyeurism. The idea came up now that he would like it if a player watched him finger himself/jerk off. He would have come from this at the speed of light or faster (with high confidence, though, he would have put on a show at the same time).

He loves it when a player leaves light bruises of their hands. No hickeys or bites. It's the handprints. He finds them very attractive and a sign that the player fucking wanted him so much that they couldn't control their grip (your back would say the same thing about him lol).

And the strange headcanon, of course! He probably read some silly facts in history textbooks and asked the player to repeat them. And the player read the facts from biology... And of course they repeated them too! Not meiosis and mitosis, of course, and certainly not budding, but it's also an exciting activity with a cardio load!!

Whitney the Bully.

!!Warnings: size difference, praise kink, humiliation kink, riding, face sitting, mention of tattoos and piercings, fetish on virginity (?), maths (trust me, it's sexy), oral sex, mention of sex toys, BDSM, home porn, nudes.

My favorite cruel blonde is here, and we'll start big, of course. He would probably agree to any adventure that the player would suggest (it's kind of like even canon). Do you want to make him up and crossdress him? Please do it. Do you want to hug him or literally squeeze him like a plush toy in public? Oh, go on. But he will definitely fuck the life out of you afterwards.

He probably doesn't have an absolutely strict "no". If you want something, you'll get it, with his permission, of course. Starting with a threesome, ending with the strangest, most horrible, disgusting scene you can imagine.

There is a hidden kink for praise. He will necessarily blush too much if a player sincerely praises him during sex (especially if it is something external, given that he is not sure about his appearance). It will only make his actions faster, but damn it, he'll like it and it's obvious.

A hidden romantic somewhere in the depths of his soul. He would sincerely enjoy the most ordinary vanilla sex from time to time (VERY rarely), where both of you just relax and fuck lying on the bed while he hugs one of his plush toys.

He is literally "the best sucker" in the game. He literally has an oral fixation. And probably a tongue piercing, because it's hot and suits him very well. Would give you such a wildly pleasant blowjob / cunnilingus/ rimming that your legs would then shake for a few more minutes.

Although he loves it when you do it. Even if you're a total virgin and absolutely don't know how to suck dick/eat pussy, he'll just love your enthusiasm for it. If you're lucky, he'll even cum from it or try on the role of a teacher and teach you where to put your tongue, fingers, where it's better to press, how and so on.

Face sitting!!! I want him to strangle me with his hips, my God.... Absolutely enjoys the sight of your face sinking between his thighs and would absolutely not mind drowning between yours, even if you are many times heavier/bigger (he is the epitome of the meme "he sat on my face and broke my neck").

Loves to hold grab the player by the waist. In non-intimate moments, his hand is most likely there (or on the player's ass lol). In intimate moments, he mostly grabs the sides / stomach of the player, because he likes him. It doesn't matter if you're overweight, if you're chiseled like an Adonis, or if it's just a waistline, he loves it.

He definitely has a thing for people with piercings or tattoos. Especially if they are intimate. That is, the piercings of the navel, penis / pussy / ass, nipples, tongue. Or tattoos on the lower back, ass, chest, genitals (and there are such things, yes).

He is the most unashamed LI, because he would do it anywhere, anytime, he absolutely does not care who is there and who is not there, he must do it. The player looks too sweet to resist.

The genitals!! The cock is very thick, VERY THICK. Although by itself it is slightly above average, maybe about 6.2 inches. The pussy is very beautiful (yes, I think he has an attractive pussy, but what?), probably a small clitoris. Tits... Either A-cup or D-cup, there is no between.

Hair... I don't think he has a lot of hair there in general, and he doesn't take much care of it, although he shaves it off when it becomes uncomfortable. But his hygiene is impeccable (do you have any idea how many people he fucks?).

Of course, everyone understands perfectly well that he has a kink for humiliating the player. But imagine what would happen if he praised them. It's just that one day it would slip out that the player is a "good boy" at a certain point in their sex and the player would come out of surprise (sorry, funny). He would use it later, very rarely, but so accurately.

Virgins turn him on. Or just people who don't know anything about sex. Well, more precisely, a player, he would hardly fuck with someone for one night who doesn't know what they're doing at all. So he's really turned on by all this, these pathetic attempts, these first successes, these first reactions and results, well, fucking sweet.

(Bottom!reader) My husband came up with a trick. You know, if he has a vagina (no matter what gender he is), he always wears a strap-on, or almost always. He has a huge collection of them, which he stole canonically from a sex shop and damn it, sooner or later he uses them.

Absolutely loves to ride a dick. Especially if the penis is huge or tiny. It just gives him a sense of some kind of pleasant satisfaction that he can hold onto something so huge or something so small, while still getting pleasure and delivering it in return.

A teaser to the core. He will play with your nipples, genitals, erogenous zones, will constantly kiss you, leave marks, rub against you, but will not give you what you needed until you take it yourself or start begging him.

I think he's a BDSM fan. Especially the dom/sub aspects, because he just loves to bend the player to his will, and of course he loves it even more if the player does it himself. If he's in love, he can switch roles if you want, he's not picky, but he'll still be bossy one way or another.

Uh, he'd be a fan of home videos. He would never show them to anyone, because they are only for his eyes, he just likes to watch them from time to time. Or your photos too, when you cum, fuck him or something like that.

He would love it if the player had a huge ass. He absolutely loves kneading it between his fingers, watching as it takes the shape of his palms. Would constantly slap it at any convenient or inconvenient moment.

A hidden kink for the size difference? He loves his partners bigger and taller. He likes to bend them to his feet, keeping the player on a leash (literally or not), even if they are high-rise compared to him.

And of course our favorite category. He loves to ask the player questions from time to time during sex, especially if they are barely thinking and the questions jump from "2+2?" to "find the minimum of the function y=x²-563x-89=0". Of course, he punishes the player in some way if they answer incorrectly, even if they understand that they will answer incorrectly. But if by some miracle they guess, then he will fulfill some of their requests.

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

Poppy Playtime: True Ending (all toys saved, all secrets founds)

Synopsis: Angel saved all the toys inside PlayCo, and is now sitting outside waiting for the authorities to appear. What will happen now? Warnings: Canon-typical violence. Story is in 2nd person but Angel is their own character here. THIS HAS NOT BEEN PROOFREAD SO THERE WILL BE ERRORS. Have fun, byeee.

You are shaking.

Granted, this is the first time in the last two weeks that you aren't trembling due to fear of being killed or due to the cold, but anxiety. You're scared, still riding off adrenaline and without any idea of what could happen now, and you are certain that in any moment, you'll end up dropping unconscious on the floor. And yet, you don't. You cannot, really, considering your situation.

You take a deep breath, the smell of smoke filling your senses. Despite your best efforts, your hands are still dirty with dried blood.

Dogday lies against you, eyes turned towards the Sun. His white pupils seem to be sparkling in amazement; this is the first time in more than a decade that he has seen the Sun. Maybe two, who knows, you're too tired to do the math. You scratch his head, but he doesn't look away from the sky. The beautiful open sky. You had taken it for granted a few times in your life. Only a few. Never again. Never again...

Kissy is on your right side, anxiously holding your arm. Poppy is on your lap, still holding your Nokia phone and telling the kind 911 operator of your situation. You wonder how anxious she would be feeling if you were the one talking there... She was at the verge of tears before speaking up. "Understood, miss", she tells the second normal human she ever interacted with in the past decade. "Please warn them to be careful, we went through a lot and don't want to deal with even more".

You scratch her head. Huggy is next to your rundown car, on the other side of the parking lot, the mini critters and wuggies running around. Some of them grab the leaves and jump at the newfound texture. Others try digging in the dirt. One of them points at the car and ask each other how they can disassemble it. Catnap, standing right next to them, shakes his head. "This belongs to our Savior".

Baba is also sitting next to you. She watches over the mini nightmares debating over something you don't fully understand, as some of them climb over Catnap. He doesn't mind the act. Doey, on the other hand...

You stare at him. Little Simon is still sleeping on his arms, too anxious to join the others. Doey adjusts his own hat, his eyes going from corner to corner, especially towards where the little ones of Safe Haven are. Marie is taking good care of them, sitting on the concrete floor as they analyze flowers. Delight is next to her, tilting her head in curiosity as a centipede crawls over her hands, eyes sparkling. "This is fascinating!", she announces, happily stimming with her feet.

"... Doey?"

You reach your hand to him. He flinches before blinking, taken out of his trance. Upon noticing your worried stare, he forces a smile on his face: "I'm okay, Angel, no need to worry about me".

"And what about the other two?", you ask again, not letting go of him.

He's once again caught off-guard. You thought that by this point, the three kids would have gotten used to being equally acknowledged. Guess there's still work to be done, but we'll be alright. We have time, now. Just enough time.

"We're fine", Kevin grunts, looking away.

"Just tell me when it's too much, alright, kiddos? Don't want the sirens to scare you guys. They sound similar to the stuff back at PlayCo."

"I said we're fine", and there goes that familiar growl. "Shoosh, leave them".

"Matthew, let Kevin speak. It's okay for him to be upset".

"We can't scare the others"

"The others would like for all three of you to speak a bit", you reply, shaking your head. "Including Jack. Is he alright?"

"...", Doey shakes, before timidly nodding and fidgeting with his hands. "... I am".

You give him a smile. Dogday bumps his head against his shoulder, and Jack relaxes, his tense body softening. He repeats the gesture towards the critter, confirming that he'll be alright.

Pianosaurus and Yarnaby then bump their heads against your legs, both of them with plants hanging out from their mouths. Poppy jumps on your lap: "Thank you for the... Bouquet", you tell them, accepting the offering. Yarnaby purrs as a response, sitting on the ground. "Ollie, ya okay, kid?"

The baby long legs stares at you with that very, very energetic look of his, wrapped around a blanket and shaking in his lone seat next to yours. "It's fucking cold", he growls, grumpy as ever.

"Language!", Dogday warns him.

"We're not inside PlayCo. anymore, we can say whatever we want now, you dingus".

"Please don't have another argument before we arrive at the hospital", you ask the duo, sighing again. "... Want another blanket, Ollie?"

"I want a warm room away from this cold, that's what I want".

"Wait an hour or two, then".

"Urgh".

"You welcome".

You close your eyes, feeling the Sun against your skin. The Prototype's words echo in your head, the promise you two made still there:

These kids shall be safe and happy.

You can still hear the mechanical sounds his legs made when he walked. A part of you swears that it can feel him watching over your bunch from inside the factory, despite the cameras outside not being functional anymore. You don't doubt he would be capable of finding a way to watch the scene, though.

You stare at the burning parts of the factory in the background, and, before you can start doubting if this will grab the authorities' attention, you hear sirens in the background.

Cop sirens, to be exact.

Poppy looks up to you, Doey jumps on his seat, and you put the doll on Kissy's lap before jumping over Yarnaby:

"KIDS!", you call the others. "EVERYBODY, GET BACK THERE, THEY'RE COMING!"

Just one word:

FUCK.

Why did it have to be the COPS the first people to pop up, and not a fucking ambulance?! Fuckfuckfuckfuck. Just. Shit. FUCK (again). You are so, SO fucking lucky sometimes, urgh. Let's hope they don't scare the kids even more.

Huggy, Catnap, Marie and Doey help you retrieve the chaos gremlins back to the group. You count: All +100 of them are there, with no exceptions. You hold Doey's face and tell him to remain strong, you tell Kissy and Huggy that they have nothing to fear with you around, you assure Marie and Catnap don't make a murder plan, and you sit back on your seat.

The first car that appears makes your stomach curl. You stare at it, unmoving. The tension is palpable. The kids are anxious, terrified and horrified when the two cops get out of the car and turn to you.

You stare at them, suddenly more aware than ever that you have visible blood stains on your clothes and you must be looking like hell, and they stare at you in silence, approaching with their mean looks. Poppy moves on your seat, clinging to you even more, her call having just ended.

You stare at the cops again.

The cops stare at you again.

You bite your tongue. They aren't approaching you anymore, instead, stopping several meters away from your group, wide-eyed, and then you realize that they aren't reaching for their guns.

Finally, you roll your eyes:

"Do we have a problem here, officer?"

The guy you think is the oldest of the duo, a pale man with sunken brown eyes, seems taken completely off-guard for a moment. Bunzo clings to your leg, anxious. PJ Pug-a-Pillar tilts his head in curiosity, and you notice that Delight is waving at the duo.

"W...", the younger man's voice fails him. "What the-"

"Don't ya finish that sentence, there's kids there", you grunt, noticing the other cars appearing. "We need as many ambulances as possible, now. The kids needs medical attention".

"What happened there?", the officer demands, and his eyes go to the very much still burning piece of factory. You glance back at it for a moment before returning your attention to him.

"Executives", you shrug, aaaand more people pop out of the cars. "Tell your friends to back off, it's been a decade since these kids saw other people, and they bite".

"This is private property. What are you doing here?"

Private property, private property my fucking ass- "get your friends to back off, or else I won't say shit to you".

"You have no right-"

"Mister Officer, please, you must listen!"

You would have laughed at the guy's face upon seeing Poppy getting up from your seat. Catnap growls as a response to his voice tone, and you don't know if it's the sound he makes or his movements, but it seems convincing enough for the asshole to actually back off, and actually and properly inform the rest of the group to not approach.

"Thank you", Poppy mutters.

"Don't thank him", you scratch her head. "I am in private property because the owner of this frickin' place invited me in because he and these kids were stuck in there for the past decade. I need a dang ambulance for once".

"And who is the owner?"

You almost say Elliot Ludwig, but even your own tolerance for absurdity isn't high enough to buy that one. So you bite your tongue, you stay on your seat, and you hear more sirens echoing in the background.

"Long ass story", you mutter, before getting up, bag on one hand, Poppy in another.

You have no idea how or why, but the officer almost doesn't react when you approach him. His friend places a hand on his gun, but you don't react either, merely giving him the heavy bag.

"These are the documents", you tell him, watching the ambulances arrive.

"Did you steal these documents?"

"They were given to me", you half-lie, half-tell the truth.

"I'll have to ask you to follow me, ma'am, and tell me why there's a fire happening in an abandoned factory".

"W-wait, no!", Poppy desperately stares at you, wide-eyed. "T-they can't go, we need them!"

You merely unzip your jacket, exposing your very much still bleeding out shoulder and your very much still soaked in blood torso, and shrug.

You see people coming out of the ambulances. Bunzo runs to you, grabbing your leg as he stares at the officer, wide-eyed. "I-I won't let you take mama away!"

Well, there goes the cop's control of the situation, because now some of the minis also approach you, clinging to both your legs and back, and you know they look too realistic and move too naturally for them to be animatronics or robots. Other cops start moving to approach you, and you...

Yawn.

Damn, you're tired as hell-

A guy presents himself as the lieutenant, and another as the deputy chief. You tilt your head. Looks like your way of grabbing attention may have worked too well...

Marie's hand grabs your good shoulder. You don't react to her staring at the group, merely waiting for your permission to probably kill them or something worse. Despite what you wish you can do, you merely hold her hand. The deputy chief grabs the bag, and stares at the nurses who just got out of the ambulance before petting the shoulders of the first officer.

"Looks like we got big fish in our hands", he tells the guy. Uhm. Okay. "Go take these things to the ambulance. Let us handle the rest".

You blink, remembering what the Prototype told you about many people knowing about what PlayCo. was doing, but never doing anything about it. You stare at the man's eyes, and you aren't very good with judging people by looks but your stomach curls around itself, and you know one damn thing.

He stares at you with a certain disdain and hatred in his eyes. You smile. You hear a helicopter approaching, alongside a van from a news report. Your smile widens, a shit eating grin that goes from ear to ear as you realize who has the power over the situation.

"Looks like the mess you ignored finally caught up to you, eh, officer?"

You turn your back to the group, unafraid. "W-what's going on, Angel?", Dogday asks on his seat, terrified, as you put Poppy on his lap.

"Oh, a lot", you now grab your actual backpack, reaching for your water bottle as the kids stare at you, anxious. "A whole, whooole lot".

"What are they going to do?", Marie asks in a whisper. "Should we...?"

"Nope. We aren't killing anyone, pirralhada", you take a generous sip of water. "We just hit the jackpot".

You hear the number of people growing in the background. Good thing you told the kids to keep themselves quiet, and even better thing that they are listening.

"We're going to take whatever remains of PlayCo. down. And, most importantly, we'll make sure the people who didn't help you guys pay. But, right now?"

You turn towards the humans again.

"Right now, we gotta go to the hospital".

[ultimate-marysue]

How I feel my Batfam ships may or may not have children (please don't take me seriously I just need wholesomeness):

Dickkory: multiple bio kids, I'm pretty sure this is canon in some future/alternative universes. I think DC should set Kori free on a PTA meeting with no one explain to her the absurd social rules Karens set. The shitty mothers would hate her because she's over here, playing dumb on purpose until they're forced to admit they're just being annoying/egocentric and not actually asking to better their kid's education. Also, career day would be crazy considering Dick changes jobs every few months to get involved into whatever business he's investigating. Like, one year he's a cop, next he's a super model, next he's a college professor somehow. Kori thinks it's really funny so she insists on Dick being the one to go.

Dickbabs: they either don't have kids (just adopt a bunch of rescues) or maybe have one adoptive kid. Other than Cass who is Babs daughter I don't care what anyone thinks. Just Dick, Barbara and Barbara's daughter who is also Dick's sister. Also, Babs got lucky with Cass being homeschooled, the second she has to deal with the school system she's on the phone with the president blackmailing him to fix it. Easy to say, Dick deals with school exclusively from them on.

BabsDinah: they're the lesbian aunts (that end up doing a lot of the parenting because they can't help themselves). Like, neither of them would really want to have kids of their own, but the second a young vigilante with a shit ton of issues gets dropped in their doorstep it's on. Like, officially they'd be mentors, but they all see each other as family.

Stephcass: Cass is a ticking bomb, she's going to find an ex-murderer kid in need of guidance and just bring them home. Steph is not thrilled at first because they're so young still until she realizes "oh wait no, we're like, adult adults now" and then she has a crisis (unrelated to the child). Also Steph would love love to prove she's better than her father (but would be terrified of messing up). At first they're really chill but soon enough they turn it into a competition with the other Bats. Not a competition between their kids, mind you ("no Cass, that's bad parenting") but a competition of who's the best parent. Jason is terrified of them, but the rest are absolutely down.

Jayroy: asides from our beautiful wonderful and just overall fantastic Lian Harper, I think they might end up adopting some kids. What can I say? I think Jason should have Bruce's adoption gene, but specially for kids in dangerous/hard situations. I'm talking the older kids that never get adopted or younger kids with some sort of disability that need extra accomodations. I think Jason would try very hard to avoid them being vigilantes at least until they're 18. Roy is more chill with vigilantism because well, Lian turned out fine, but he respects Jason's opinion. Most important, no child of his is going to be a Robin to Bruce fucking Wayne. Also, everyone in the PTA would love them, they'd be super involved and Jason would make sure to bribe the appropriate people with muffins.

TimKon: test tube baby, not on purpose though. Like, I don't see Tim as someone actively wanting kids (especially not biological ones) and Kon wouldn't want his kid having to face the problems he did. But like, if Cadmus pulls some weird shit and there's a super baby for the taking, they would both want to make sure they give him the most loving upbringing possible. Another option is Tim accidentally creating their baby while trying to clone Kon while he was dead. That one's plausible and has a lot of angst hurt/comfort potential. Also, Teen Dad Tim after being extremely parentified during his early teens taking care of Bruce (while grieving everyone!) is evil , but a compelling kind of evil. Like a trainwreck you can't look away from.

TimBer: dual income no kids kinda queers. They're over here taking their various nephews to Olive Garden and Disneyland only to drop them off and go live their lovely stress free lives. They may adopt a kid, but that would be only when they really settled down. Let Tim enjoy his 20s (if he ever gets there) my boy has been through enough.

Dukeizzy: again, maybe it's because Duke's still pretty young so he hasn't showed much interest or inclination toward parenting, but I don't have a lot of info to go with. Personally either Dual income "take the kids to do airsoft" kinda uncle/aunt, I can see both of them being really good at giving advice to younger vigilantes (the whole situation of We Are Robin gives you a lot of insight in the power of child vigilantes separated from any mentors, so they're in a particular good spot to mediate between the kids and adults). In the case of them having kids, I think they should inherit Dukes autism (I love that headcanon) and both he and Izzy would be those parents making damn sure their kids get the accommodations they need specially at school. If their kids choose to become vigilantes you bet they're gonna be unionized.

Also, I don't have any particular ship for Damian but you bet that if that boy ever becomes a parent they'd be the softest, sweetest father in the world.

[marikosenwrites]

karasuno men -- time skip headcanons

a/n: this is time skip ver., so spoilers!! i mean they're not big, but yeah. i'm doing like four characters at a time so i seem like i'm productive and my brain thinks so too

characters: hinata shoyo, kageyama tobio, sawamura daichi, sugawara koushi (for part one)

pt. 1 / ? (i'll be updating this afterwards...)

gn!reader

↳ ❝ [ 日向翔陽　HINATA SHOUYOU ] ¡! ❞

much like his high school self, he's very cheery

he's matured though lmfao

if you were an msby staff (manager etc), he's clinging to you anytime he's on break

"manager-san, [proceeds to ask you about your personal life]!!"

bokuto often complains about how shouyou sticks to you half the time

i think, in any circumstances, he's the bolder one and will confess first.

once you guys start dating, shouyou's telling EVERYONE

and i mean everyone (EVERYONE HE KNOWS)

even if you want to keep it a secret, it's kind of hard with how he clings and gives you MORE affection

eventually it gets the press catches on because y'all (shouyou) are too wild with pda

anyways it's much better but you sometimes get toxic messages from shouyou's fans (you block them and sometimes tell shouyou 'cause you don't really wanna worry him)

why do i feel like he'd slip up and call you 'my beloved ball'

you guys go on dates occasionally! he always makes sure to reserve some time for you and tells his coach ahead of time

you try to adjust your schedule to his most of the time, but there are rare occasions where you don't go on dates at all whether it be because he's going overseas or whatever

you guys definitely get married after like two years because shouyou is a jumpy little guy

↳ ❝ [ 影山飛雄　KAGEYAMA TOBIO] ¡! ❞

mayybe staff or classmate in highschool? (idk man)

if you were a classmate, i feel like he'd open up to you more easily cuz yall have history even if you only did like a few projects with him (be so fr, you carried)

you'd have to tend to him a lot with scheweiden if you want him to be closer to you

but he's quite obvious with his feelings i guess

the teammates caught on pretty fast (even wakatoshi)

tobio's also quite the tsundere, i think

he's not so good at recognizing nor understanding his feelings and he's REALLY blunt with everyone

but for you he's willing to try <33

i think he typically loves home dates because you're comfy and you're with him.

generally he just loves wherever you are

OIKAWA GENUINELY WANTS TO MAKE TOBIO JEALOUS AND STEAL YOU AWAY— win win situation for him— tobio isn't letting you go that easily though <3

"oikawa-san, please back off"

wahh you make pork curry for him all the time

sometimes you two going on a convenience store run is good enough to call it a date (MEAT BUNS???)

just calls you by your given name

↳ ❝ [ 澤村大地　SAWAMURA DAICHI] ¡! ❞

policeman, right? i hc he saved you from some creep or something

just on patrol, sees this person (you) walking in the streets, the lights are barely on, and then another guy creepily stalking them…

straight up walks up to you and say, "baby, are you heading home?"

you stop walking, stare at him and he points backwards, and you get the signal

that's kind of how it began ;)

after that incident you see him once in a while and he accompanies you home because it's on the way to the police station

he asks you out on one of the times you guys go home

then one date turned into multiple dates and he finally asked you to be his partner

you go to the monthly karasuno meet-ups too

lovely man, honestly— he's like the ideal husband

daichi likes to fiddle with your hair or hands because they're soft

interlocking hands while walking is a must for him, he likes holding onto you but shh you don't need to know that

ahh he loves treating you to any food you want…

like if you want steak, ok we're getting steak at a fancy ahh restaurant

during the worst days of your periods he'd like…take a day or two off because he knows that those are the days that you need support the most

mostly calls you by a nickname or your given name

↳ ❝ [ 菅原孝支　SUGAWARA KOUSHI] ¡! ❞

you could be a colleague, a friend, or a classmate

(i'll just say yall are already dating)

he usually stays up until like one grading assignments for three classes because he's developed a serious case of procrastination…

you try to remind him to get some rest all the time

"kou, it's already midnight…shouldn't you go to sleep?"

"just one more…"

that sentence usually turns into a couple more

you always make bentos for him because you have the time and YOU SLEEP EARLIER THAN HE DOES…

i'd imagine that he sometimes wakes up a bit late and then panics

weekends are for dates!! so he cramps all his work during the weekdays (poor koushi)

"baby…i do this for you…" (when you scold him for staying up too late) (you end up accompanying him while he grades)

complete ray of sunshine (like shoyo but less bright) during the weekends because HE GETS TO GO ANYWHERE WITH YOU YIPPEE

koushi calls you by so many different nicknames though…like a shortform of your name or some random adjective he thought of on the spot, there's no pattern to it

if you happen to want anything during your dates, koushi always tries his best to buy it for you because he's a gentleman

but of course living ain't easy so it really does depend on the price

BUT YOU SAY "daijoubu, we can just buy that one instead" and you point to a completely different thing

regular meet-ups with the karasuno gang

yippee!!

ending notes: i'm sorry i couldn't find better photos of daichi and koushi, there weren't any good ones so i had to settle with these but they're pretty

©marikosenwrites 2024-25 all banners, dividers, and work. please do not steal. i own none of the HAIKYUU!!/ハイキュー！！ characters mentioned. reblogs, likes, and comments are welcomed. <3

[bitchesgetriches]

Hi, this is a job-specific question but i was wondering... I am working as a graphic designer for a company for the second time. And in both cases the companies have been new; last one had not more than 10 people when i got there, and the current one only has 6 people incluiding me. So in both cases i was expected to work as a designer, and work with the marketing manager so both of us could do what would be the community manager job. In this new company however things aren't as organized and since we're using an office suite i receive corrections for the content on weekends, and since i am technically the community manager i try to be aware of posting stories on instagram and things like that when they can't be scheduled in advance. But i don't know, since i am not a community manager i don't know how much thought i'm supposed to be putting in those "extra hours", are those part of my job? My boss sent me a text yesterday (free day) in the work chat to "please read the comments" and all were corrections for the things i sent on friday, but he clearly wanted me to read it and make the corrections saturday so now i'm thinking i have to do it even if i'm not in working hours

Like i said, since it's a small company i feel like things aren't quite organized and a lot of people are doing double duty. I've noticed my coworkers staying extra time but i'm just leaving at my scheduled time and i feel weird because they haven't told me anything but if they are sending things on weekends and expecting me to work and i'm just not doing it because i'm not opening the work app i feel like i'm the one getting in trouble if that makes sense

"Just for clarification, am I expected to work on evenings and weekends?" <---ask this directly of your boss. Make him say it out loud. If you're paid by the hour, then working on weekends will positively affect your income, which takes away the sting of having no time off. If you're salaried and expected to work weekends, then you're in a good position to ask for a raise. Because I assume if working on the weekend was advertised in the job description, you wouldn't be in this situation.

But yeah, you need to ask them directly. It's not fair to ask you to do something outside of your job description. We do NOT advocate working outside of work hours (unless it's for your own side gig), and in general... you should keep that resume polished and look for another job.

My Secret Weapon for Preparing for Awkward Boss Confrontations

Ask the Bitches: My Boss Won't Give Me a Contract and I'm Freaking Out 

“Independent Contractor” My Ass: How to Stop Wage Theft Through Worker Misclassification 

Did we just help you out? Say thanks on Patreon!

[fangdokja]

Hiya! Is it okay to ask who your favorite OC is so far? I'm just so curious, that's all! God Bless ^^!!!

((also unrelated:was I hallucinating or did you have Ichiya from variable baricade as a header before??? He's one of my fave otome guys, I genuinely love his pathetic meow meow vibes, especially that crying CG—))

— Lear

WARNING: Prepare for unstructured (OOC?) Fang Dokja rambling. Because I'm exposing myself in excitement again nuuuu. ALSO SPOILERS. Basically rare times of me posting being weird.

Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss. No questions. That man can choke and kill me and I'd let him. Joke. My husband would kill me whahahahaha.

Above all, my husband is ALWAYS my favorite of course. Always will be, and nobody can compare. Technically in "Her Hell, His Heaven." I'm writing it with my husband and I in mind, so my favorite is obviously that. But for existing Yandere! OC's?

Anyways, I would say there are two ways to answer this. As a READER, my top 3 are:

♡ Main Story. 🔞"I trusted you, wife, and now I'll teach you what betrayal feels like."

#1: Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss - Daddy Dom who can and will kill you. Yes. Please choke and desecrate me Daddy. Yes.

Also there's good reason why I made the banner one of my favorite manga story + art style of all time = Brutal: Satsujin Kansatsukan No Kokuhaku. I don't simp for Hiroki Dan but he's both relatable and incredibly funny to me. Also plot is plotting. Fav arc and punishment was the woman gang rape + assault + date drugging arc. Second arc. Graphic and realistic, also the punishments are always satisfying. One of the manga I reread regularly until today.

Yes, I love unhinged + unapologetic + black flags + sadistic men who will hurt and kill you. Yummmyyyy. Why? Reminds me of my husband. Don't ask. *sweats*

Yandere! Zombie Apocalypse! Survivor

♡ Sub Story. In the world of the dead, he was the only thing keeping you alive���and tearing you apart.

Headcanons 1 : Flesh and Fetish (General)

In a world where only the strongest survive, he’s the monster you can't escape.

#2: Yandere! Zombie Apocalypse! Survivor

I love morally grey men who love to make people suffer. Yes, even if it's with the one he loves. I'm weird I know. Hm... I do like the worldbuilding since I've always loved zombie apocalypse stories and worlds. But, he's ayt.

Yandere! Marine Corps & Good Girl

Oneshots

He crushed a man’s skull beneath his boot and turned to you with a smile.

"You’ll never escape me—not when I’m the only one keeping you alive."

#3: Yandere! Marine Corps

Basically me picking what reminds me of my husband. Don't really have anything that reminds me solely of him tbh.

For numbers 2-3, I can't pick anything else tbh. A lot of the characters I write can have my husband's qualities, but I never write my husband so... I can only find certain parts I can see; but a lot of times, I don't write my husband because that's weird haha.

As a WRITER (OK THIS HAS MORE ANALYSIS). Meaning it's about the way I constructed these characters especially, their behavior as yanderes + psychological horror-thriller content:

Yandere! Author

Headcanons 1 : Fate’s Final Draft (General)

He’s the hero in his own story… and you’re his latest toy.

🔞"You like happy endings? Too bad. I don’t write those."

#1: Yandere! Author - Not to be weird and all, but I based him off on both Scar from Wuthering Waves and myself.

For me, I wrote it because I genuinely like making characters suffer. Yes, I admit it. No one is safe. It's why I love writing grimdark stories. To me, in all honesty? Happiness is not relatable to me, especially fluff and slice-of-life (but I can read and enjoy it). It's suffering and hardships that I relate to most. So, I wrote a character that I based off my writing style in essence.

Haven't fully captured personality, but attempted and inspired by Scar.

Now for the Scar part: Personality wise we're nothing alike. But I love Scar's personality and eccentric actions + theatrics, ever since I saw him. Like seriously. He's chaotic, unapologetic and honestly I love moral dilemmas. ALSO HIS FACE IS SO EXPRESSIVE, he's theatrical. I love it.

The story he gave when talking to Rover, well, I really loved it. Relatable and psychological. YES. I AM HARDCORE SCAR MAIN. WHERE IS HIS BANNER FUDGE. Like there's this new pirate blue haired guy that gives ENTP vibes. WHERE IS SCAR. WHERE IS HIS BANNER COMING. WUWAAAAAA.

Am I a simp? Fudge no. I don't simp for him. But I relate hardcore to him. He's one of my top tier I-relate-to-so-much characters. Yeah, I wouldn't say I'm like him personality wise. Definitely not. But morally wise? Like I just love it. I really liked the storyline of WuWa, not sure how it's going but FREAKING SO MANY RELATABLE MALE CHARACTERS.

I don't simp for any WuWa males. But.... I relate: Jiyan, Geshu Lin, Scar, Xiangli Yao, Rover. YES I RELATE TO ALL OF THEM. FREAKING I FOUND JIYAN'S STORY SO SAD AND RELATABLE LIKE WWATTTT. Xiangli Yao's story is also sad but for me JIYAN STORY TOP TIER. ALSO YES, I REALLY LOVE THE DYSTOPIAN VIBES OF WUWA.

I LITERALLY READ ACTUAL LORE LIKE THE NOTEBOOKS YOU FIND????? or papers and shiz? I READ. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF IT. YES. EVEN THE SIDE QUESTS AND EVENTS. I don't do that when gaming. So you can tell I really loved the story of WuWa. For others, it's crap. But for me, I hardcore related to it and I enjoyed it.

Me to myself: tryard.

Me: Shut up.

Me: SHIZ. you're making me want to get back into WuWa. *cries in no Scar banner* Though I do love the pirate vibes.

Hopefully story hasn't gone downhill.... anyways.

Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss

Headcanons 1 : The Bride of Blood (General)

To him, you're perfect. To you, he's just a mission.

🔞"I don't need your love, I need your submission."

#2: Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss - Up next, torture simulator.

I made Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss + Yandere! Spanish! Pirate Captain + Yandere! Alpha! Hybrid Wolf around the same time. When making each story, I basically thought....

"How much can I make the protagonist suffer?"

Literally my thoughts. How far can I take this? It's also one of the reasons why making the sequels are a challenge. I am making all of the sequels, since a lot of people requested. But, it's a challenge because I wrote every one of these stories as original standalones. I was literally like ".... wait. You want more???"

But I welcomed the challenge. Difficult but still doable.

Anyways, I enjoyed writing his most because his torture scenes are peak quality among all my works so far. I think that's the main reason why. Personality wise? He's still emotional to me. Not like my husband. BRUH, sorry, my husband is like really....really, REALLY, like uhhh, I don't know, but Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss is still emotional in general.

When I mean emotional, I don't mean he's stupid or reckless. He's still methodical and loyal even, but he's also driven by a need to prove something and to claim control again.

But, I wouldn't say I like him emotionally, more of the way I made the torture. Yes. Simply. That's it. ahhahahaa

Now for third, I don't really have an all-time favorite, but one I do remember off the bat that impacted me was because of how I wrote and ended the story:

Yandere! Stepfather & Stepdaughter

Novella 1 : Paternal Privilege

He’s your family, but he doesn’t act like it.

🔞Pleasure in every strike, pain in every kiss.

🔞In the end, love is both their salvation and their damnation.

🔞His love is suffocating, but she’s forgotten how to breathe without it.

🔞Love shouldn’t feel like drowning, but he’s the only one who can save her.

She fell, but not by accident. He made sure of it.

#3: Yandere! Stepfather - For this, sure, Daddy's hot. But, it's not just that. What I enjoyed when writing this story was the plot itself. Especially the ENDING.

What I was thinking of when making this is basically, "Let's distract the Readers with so much sex that they don't notice what's happening underneath. Use sex and erotica as the red herring!"

And it worked pretty well actually hahahaha, based on a lot of comments thus far.

Hm, yeah, not really much right now, but what I enjoyed for this is mostly plot, not fully the characters all the way. I prefer ones with extreme or actual gore and horror. This series was more on the subtle manipulative side, even with the sex.

...

Yes. I still have a type. wahahhaahha

ADDITIONAL INFO + Yandere Male Recommendations (AND SPOILERS FOR THE GAME):

YES, I played Variable Barricade a long time ago and I enjoyed it a lot. Actually, the picture was not Ichiya, it was the bad ending with the twin. I came for the pink-haired guy, Taiga. Reminded me most of my husband's infuriating demeanor with me before we officially dated and stuff. Literally. INFURIATING.

And what happened? Played the routes, both Taiga and Ichiya's. Found myself seeing the twin and doing the bad ending last. I was like "Shiz this guy's the one most like my husband ahhhhhhh". Not yandere, just a jerk, tbh, but it's more of the, ....uhhh. IDK It's hard to explain! But LITERALLY I FOUND MYSELF RELATING CRAZY TO THE BAD ENDING MOST THAN ANYTHING. CRAZYYY ahhhh

That smirk does things to me. LOLLLLL AHHAHAHAH

This was my banner image before, since when I see it, reminds of my husband and I. GAH, I relate more to bad endings than good ones sometimes tbh (or maybe all the time.... does that say something about myself? Yes it does, haha).

Also this is the scene Anon was talking about. If you like crying yanderes, here. For you all who love your pathetic crying men:

ALSO PEOPLE SAID THERE IS NO YANDERE IN THIS GAME.

ICHIYA IS YANDERE. He's an ENFJ YANDERE that is the "If you can't be with me, then let's die together." kind of vibes. It's been a while, can't remember, but yeah.

WDYM THERE IS NO YANDERE. I was shocked because I was just chillin' then I found that ending scene. So guys, yandere reccs for youuu alll. And this is a good game in general, liked it.

ALSO I LOVE THE SONG. Still listen to it. Just listened to it actually.

ALSO THE ART IS AMAZING. JUST LOOK AT IT. The mini endings were oddly satisfying. IDK I related to it a lot, not for the characters, but it just reminded me a bit of how my own personal love story went. Definitely not as dark, but still. My all-time favorite otome. LEGIT.

Other notes, I found the MC relatable at that time, and also the friends. I usually get annoyed with females. Not being sexist. But it's more of a lot of bland breads around. It's also why I always make sure the female OC's I release have substance in them, like all my characters.

Ok, I'm sorry if I'm wrong but will I refer it to you as "Lear" then? I don't know why I thought of Lurker, but yeah. If I'm mistaken, feel free to inform me or to ask for a name change, no worries. Thank you so much for asking me this, and being comfortable enough to ask :))

Anyways, I'll note down your name then as my first named Anon ever, "Lear." Thank you! God bless too :)) Literally exposed my excited self, but oh well.

Also I'm a naturally curious person, no worries, Lear. For Readers, don't be afraid to ask or something, as long you obey the RULES, like the usual proper human respect and decorum, then all is chill.

[rayyanishere1]

A Day in the Life of a Loser: Loser Ford AU

Chapter 6: Maps

6th September 1971

Great, just great. Fantastic, even! That was an attempt at sarcasm.

Apparently our map had flown out the car window 4 miles ago and Stanley didn't bother to get it back! Now we're stuck in the middle of Indiana!

We're meant to move into our dormitories at Backupsmore University today, but from the looks of our situation, that's going to be delayed.

∆∆∆

"Quit sulkin', Sixer. It's not like we're in a different country."

"We might as well be! We are two states away from home and we have no map!"

"Don't you have photographic memory?"

"Well—"

"What're we arguin' about, fellas?"

A foreign voice startled the two and made them turn around.

Who they saw was a tall, lanky man, vaguely around their age. His long hair and horseshoe mustache was unlike what they've seen in New Jersey.

Stan liked it.

Realizing neither of them had answered the question, Stan spoke up.

"Oh, it's nothing, just my brother whining about our lack of map."

"What happens if we get lost, Stanley?"

"We ask for directions like normal people!"

"So you expect us to blindly trust strangers?"

They glared at each other, both having valid points but neither wanting to admit it.

"Where are you lot headin' to, anyway?"

"Backupsmore University. You know, the shitty one?"

"Stanley, don't just give that type information away..."

"Ah, BMU? I'm headin' there as well!"

The cute southern guy was going to the exact same place at the exact same time as he was? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and he was not about to fumble it!

"Why don't you come with us?"

Before the concepts of a response could even pop into existence, Ford pulled Stan aside.

"Stanley, really? We don't even know his name..."

"Hey! What's your name?"

"Fiddleford McGucket?"

"See? Now we know his name."

"Well—We don't know where he's from!"

"Where are you from?"

"Tennessee."

"Again, now we know."

"Stanley..."

"C'mon, Pointdexter, please?"

Flashing the most convincing puppy eyes he could muster, Stan managed to win Ford over.

"Fine, but if we get kidnapped—or worse—I'm blaming you."

"Yes, yes!"

Stan proceeded to talk to Fiddleford while Ford watched from the sidelines.

Was he jealous? Psh, of course not!

Fiddleford pulled out a folded piece of paper from his back pocket. Could it be?

"A map!"

Lunging himself towards the map Fiddleford, he braced himself on the other's shoulders and read the map from there.

Turns out, he did have the whole route memorized. He wouldn't let Stan have an "I told you so" moment, though.

"Hello...You."

Oh, yeah, Fiddleford didn't know Ford's name yet. He quickly put himself at a more socially acceptable distance and cleared his throat.

"My name is Stanford."

"Well, hello, Stanford."

Ford always dealt with introductions curtly.

He watched as Stan and Fiddleford continued their conversation. Just as they did, Fiddleford went to sit in the passenger seat.

What the hell? That was Ford's seat!

"Stanley, why is he sitting in my seat?"

"Ah... It'll be easier for him to tell me which way to go!"

"I could do that easily."

"Maybe he'll feel safer in the front seat?"

"I thought we were worried about him kidnapping us."

"Listen, Sixer, I just..."

Looking at Fiddleford, who was waiting in the car, Stan blushed.

"Oh. I see."

Ford reluctantly sat in the backseat and pouted. He didn't want to hold back his brother, but he wasn't going to be happy about it.

∆∆∆

We appear to have found the solution to our problem. Just like inventive problem solving, it comes with it's drawbacks.

This "Fiddleford McGucket" seems to be awfully fond of Stanley. Perhaps he's a siren, attracting Stanley to his (and subsequently my own) doom.

I'm currently stuck sitting in the backseat of Stanley's car, forced to watch Fiddleford flirt with him under the guise of giving him directions.

It's obscene.

We're approximately 7 miles away from BMU. This is going to be a long car ride.

[incorrectbatfam]

"We're having a concert tonight. You should come. Please? It would mean a lot to have you there," Harry says.

"Ugh fine, whatever," Bruce replies.

The concert's probably going to be super boring anyway, so Bruce brings a case file to read. He rolls his eyes at the audience, all a bunch of shallow people who just care about the boys' looks. He leaves halfway through. The boys notice and are sad the rest of the time.

Backstage, Harry approaches Bruce and says, "You're not like other 45-year-old men. There's something about you that feels special. I was wondering if you wanted to adopt me."

Bruce blushes sheepishly. "I don't know."

Out of nowhere, Zayn shouts, "OI, I WAS GONNA ASK HIM TO ADOPT ME!"

"None of you even noticed him. I did," Liam says.

The boys start arguing, which turns into a full-on fist fight. Louis says to Bruce, "Don't mind them. They're always like this. I'm kinda the dad of the group."

As Louis gets those 3 under control, Bruce meets Niall's sparkling cerulean orbs. Bruce shyly tucks his hair under his bat-cowl. The Irish boy nods, understanding. Bruce takes Niall's hand, officially adopting him. They run away, leaving the other boys in shock.

Suddenly, Simon Cowell appears.

Which batkids would sell Bruce for One Direction

Bruce wakes up at 9 AM to all of his kids screaming "GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE ROOM!" He changes into a simple turtleneck, slacks, and million-dollar watch. He lets his messy onyx hair fall messily as he admires himself in front of the mirror. He is a plain, boring 45-year-old man with a massively jacked build that no one except his bullies notice because he's so unpopular. As he makes his way downstairs, Jason demands a beer, which Bruce obediently brings him. At breakfast, Tim breaks the news to him. "We need money so we're selling you to some guys." Bruce argues back and Dick says, "Shut up, we're sick of you." The doorbell rings and Damian excitedly opens the door. Standing there are 5 attractive young men. The one with curly dark hair steps forward, smiling. "'Ello love, my name's Harry. This is Louis, Zayn, Liam, and Niall. You'll be living with us."

[incorporealbombchelle]

Campion Hall : An Iteration

Mr. Reed × Fem! Reader (18+)

Synopsis: Part 2 - (y/n) welcomes an unexpected visitor...

⚠️TW: Violence, Misogyny, Threatening/Tense Situations, Age Gap, Raw P in V Penetration, Choking, General Smut, General Discomfort.

Mr. Reed holds up his phone, our messages pulled up on the screen, then pockets it.

"I really really missed you, too (y/n). Now bring me up to speed on this 'K' person, sounds like a fascinating specimen," A close-lipped smile. My jaw drops, his eyes catch mine and I stammer.

"You- but you had said...three weeks?" I manage.

"Know how restless you get. I wanted to surprise you. May I come in?"

I nod, stepping aside to invite Mr. Reed into my dorm. The space feels cramped with more than one person in it and I can't take my eyes off him.

His glasses sit atop his head and he sheds his coat, looking incredible in jeans and a denim button down. He pulls up my cushy reading chair from the center of the room so it faces the bed, and I perch myself in front of him on the comforter, cross-legged.

"So... K, hm?"

"Keiran, creep next door, not important. You wanted to surprise me...Consider me surprised." I laugh, giddy.

"You said that if I wanted you, I'd just have to fly over and get you. Well, (y/n), I want you. So here I am. Getting." He gestures for me to scoot closer, I do.

"So... this...you missing me business, how much?"

"A lot."

"Oh?"

"Too much." I whisper, looking down, nervous.

But there's his thumb, caressing my cheek, forcing my gaze back to his.

"Come here."

My entire body burns as I lean in to kiss him and as our lips meet, it all goes quiet. The hum of the radiator, the buzz of the light fixtures, silent against the sensation of his lips, their soft insistence.

He pulls me into his lap so I'm straddling him in the wideset chair, hands wandering up my thighs as his tongue slips over mine and I moan. He tastes like coffee, something fresh -mint?- and something else, something so uniquely and addictively him.

I break the kiss, panting "I need you,"

"I'm aware. You also need," he drags the loose sleep shirt over my head, tossing it aside "to be patient. Hands clasped behind you, please."

I do as he asks because I am patient and one of his hands wraps my throat, holding my body in place just above his lap, my mind fuzzing over as the other finds its way to the gusset of my panties, feather-light, tracing soft figure-eights into the thin fabric. I whine as I attempt to grind myself against his hand, seeking any further friction, any amount of control.

I'm helpless, desperate, pathetic for him, and this is exactly how he wants me.

Mr. Reed tugs my panties aside, slipping two long fingers inside to work me at a torturously slow pace. His eyes hold mine and he continues speaking:

"(y/n), I know exactly what you want, what you think you need. I also know what you do need, and that too much at once after nothing at all would almost certainly overwhelm you."

"No, it-"

"Oh?"

He curls his fingertips, applying pressure to my G-spot and I hear myself moan as I clench around his fingers once, twice.

"Mm. Know you better than you know yourself sometimes...Scary, isn't it?" He smirks.

His hand releases my throat, my eyes tracing its path to his fly. As he unbuttons, unzips, I swallow to keep from literally drooling over him and my whole body buzzes because despite his protestations, I need everything, anything, he'll give me. He brings up his other hand from my center to my mouth, I suck his fingers clean while my own work at the buttons of his shirt and he lets out a low hum at the softness of my tongue.

"Lay back for me."

As I settle into the sheets to watch him undress, it occurs to me that we're completely to our own devices. There's nothing to inhibit us here. Not for a second. I let myself breathe, he's trailing soft kisses up the inside of my thighs and heaven is a place on earth with him.

His tongue is warm as it drags up my vulva, draws slow circles against my clit, his fingers fill me out again, I moan. "Misterr Reed?"

He hums into my sex, the vibration sending a shudder through me.

"I want you to fuck me." I breathe.

"You're sure?" He teases, still fingering me.

"Please,"

He smirks up at me, contented with my good manners and prowls up my body, coating my stomach, chest, collarbones in light kisses.

Mr. Reed then aligns himself with my heat, sucking in a sharp breath as he fills me out completely in one harsh plunge and I gasp.

He strokes my cheek, sympathetic.

"Still tight as ever, mm?"

He reads my thoughts, giving me a moment to adjust. But a moment isn't enough.

In an instant, he's steadily rocking into me, the heel of his palm resting over my lower abdomen, pressing gently into the soft flesh, and I can feel all of him. Every vein, every pulse. It's so much, too much, and I whimper.

He lets out a low moan as his hips meet mine, and I feel myself tense around him as his thrusts build to an unrelenting cadence.

"I- oh my god, I'm-" I whine, he cuts me off.

"Not just yet. Here,"

I follow his lead as he pulls out and turns over onto his back. Straddling his hips as he guides mine, he slips in easier this time. I rest my hands over his chest, swiveling downward, and gasp sharply as I'm further impaled onto his length.

Once he's fully seated within me, Mr. Reed places a palm on my inner thigh, his thumb gently rubbing over my clit as I begin shifting my hips back and forth, his own rising to meet them. 

"Ohhh my god, Misterrr Reeed?" I mewl, hot, needy.

"(y/n)..." He groans.

Feeling a familiar tension coil within me, I clench around him once, twice.

The hand he's not working my clit with holds me steady by my throat and this is just. Too. Good. My restraint snaps, and I whine pathetically as I feel myself come undone around him.

Mr. Reed's hand settles into my hair and I bury my face into the crook of his neck as I finish out my orgasm, his other hand warm as he rubs up and down my back. "There you go, that's good... Good girl, relax, you're alright..." he presses a couple gentle kisses into my shoulder.

"Th-thank you," I manage shakily, blinking away tears and he's concerned.

"(y/n) are you...crying? Was I too harsh on you? You're not hurt, are you? I'm so sorry if I-"

"No, no. I just... it was a lot, and-"

"Let's take a break then, hm?"

He lifts me off of him and I curl up against his side, shaky, limp, spent.

Mr. Reed grabs my discarded sleep shirt from the floor beside the bed, cleaning himself off with it before tossing it into the hamper in the corner of the room. He pulls me into his chest, holding tight, kissing the top of my head gingerly.

"(y/n), what would you say...to a date tonight? We could... go out, eat, drink, head back to mine... if you feel like it, we could pick this up where we left off?" His hands are on my back and in my hair again, this is perfect and that does sound nice.

"I'd like that a lot..."

"As would I. 8pm?" 

"8pm." I smile up at him.

Our first date plan is sealed with a kiss and he is comfort personified.

We lay there, limbs intertwined, for a while and it's like I never left Colorado. In his arms, I am at peace.

After Mr. Reed leaves, I shower and the rest of the day flies by fast between cleaning the dorm, folding the laundry and finishing another much too long analytic thesis. I review a few different outfit options, settling on a long,  fitted black dress and heeled boots. I check myself out in the mirror and I look... good. Sophisticated. Sensual. Put together. Perfect for a first date.

I apply a few swipes of mascara, some tinted lip balm, and decide I'm ready. I open my phone to send a text to Mr. Reed and SHIT. It is 8:27, I'm late, and I didn't even notice his texts to me. I let him know I'll be there in about 15 minutes and head downstairs, out the door.

I know it's a terrible idea to jog in heels, but I'm half an hour late, and these are platforms, so that rule doesn't really apply as I round the building and-

"Oi! Jesus! Oh. Its you."

Of course. Of course. The night of my first official date with Mr. Reed, I'm nervous, I'm late, and now as I run face first into the chest of a clearly plastered Keiran, I have to wonder how this night could be any more of a disaster.

"So then, (y/n), do you ever display concern for those around you in any way whatsoever, Or...?" his voice is gravelly, strained and his movements slow as he looks me over. There's a sway to his stance and "Are you seriously... drunk? On campus? Wow K, that is class, really, but I've got somewhere to be, now if you'll excuse me," I push past him, walking fast.

"I won't excuse you, actually." I stop, turning to face him.

"What?"

"I find you disgraceful. To the institution. Your family. Yourself..."

"I'm disgraceful? You're the one stumbling home from the pub at 9pm blind drunk."

"And you're a complete slag, off to go fuck your sugar daddy in some seedy motel, no doubt. Looks like we're both degeneratesss."

"Whoa, whoa. What are you even accusing me of?"

"What does it sound like I'm accusing you of? I saw that pensioner waiting for you in the hall this morning on my way out. He's not a professor, so good on you for subverting that trope. He's definitely not a relative, if he was he'd have an accent like yours... so who is he, (y/n)? How do you know that old man? Hm?"

He raises a brow at me and I don't like being interrogated.

"He's a friend of my family. My father's best friend, actually. He was just visiting. Has a place near here." I squint at him and what does he think he has on me?

It's the first time I haven't lied outright in response to a personal question he's asked me and as Keiran takes a step forward, imposing, I stumble back against the wall of the building.

"Y'know what I think, (y/n)?" He slurs, breath humid, vodka-scented as he invades my personal space further "I think, you're fucking that old man."

A beat.

"Keiran, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You're clearly very drunk, so let's just not-"

"No, no no. Because you see, I was confused. So I waited around. And I heard you. And I heard him."

This isn't happening. This is not happening to me right now.

"Look, I don't care what you think you heard, because it wasn't-"

"NO! YOU do not interrupt ME."

His eyes are bloodshot, pupils large and hollow. He reeks and something tells me this particular issue can't be sorted with words alone.

"I think, you picked him up at some café, real shifty, and you're so dedicated to this 'tell-me-I'm-your-national-anthem' American bimbo bullshit, so fucking desperate to be anything other than the boring, illiterate cunt you are, that you'd bring some geriatric to campus just to fuck in your dorm so you can have a story. A secret. A personality. An edge. It's insulting, really,"

His voice cracks and he stares through me as he continues: "You write terribly,  and somehow keep every man in this hall, every man at this university, guessing, wondering, fantasizing about you, all so you can fuck some geezer you probably met last weekend?

And he doesn't even get you off, does he? Nah, there's no way," The grin on his face doesn't reach his eyes, which roam my body predatorily and "What gets you off, (y/n), is the idea that you are so special, so eccentric and pretty and bloody American, that the law will never. Fucking. touch you. Well I am the law. And your clever streak ends here."

He leers over me, hands on either side of my head, trapping me against the wall and my heart beats out of my ribcage. If it's survival of the fittest, he doesn't evolve past this moment. He's incapable. His pimple-rotted face sits centimeters from mine, closer, and my fear of him has just run out. Now I'm angry. Really, truly, infuriated.

"YOU. are so. Fucking. ANNOYING!"

I scream in his face, turn and for a second I don't even realize what I've done as he staggers back, holding his wrist. There's...blood? in my mouth, and I spit onto the cobblestone, disgusted to have touched him in any capacity but especially this one.

"FUCK! DID YOU JUST FUCKING BITE ME?!" He lunges for me but I'm fast, he's drunk, his eye socket catches my elbow --crack-- and Keiran shreiks.

"AGH! Ow! JESUS FUCK!!"

To ensure he can't follow me to Reed's, I throw a kick at his knee which -well done me- lands, and actually works on account of his brittle English constitution and my exquisite taste in footwear.

He falls, I run.

[wellthatschaotic]

agh i am Frustrated :/

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[abyssalzones]

actually I'm starting to think my 14 year old self was right

[kyouka-supremacy]

Well.