#like I really appreciate people trying to be positive
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I honestly donât know how to write this; I have spent all week attempting to figure out what to say.
Last Monday I was informed by our factory that our merchandiser and direct point of contact with the factory passed away unexpectedly two weeks ago. She was someone who I have spent a great deal of time speaking to ever since we switched factories two years ago. She helped us realize designs for new products, sent us samples of garments extremely quickly and kept track of all our orders. She went to bat for us if something went wrong with our print shop or if I was unhappy with how a garment pattern was interpreted by their team. As their first American client and a brand that focuses on size inclusion, something that is not typical of their other clients, she handled a lot of crazy requests from us without blinking and she was dedicated to ensuring that both us and our customers were happy. We talked nearly every day, and though it was work related she was one of the kindest people I have had the pleasure interacting with daily.
She was beyond dedicated to her work and to working with us. Turkey has an 11-hour time difference from me in California, which means when she was emailing me at 2pm in the afternoon it was 1am there. You can sure bet that I extended her the same courtesy and tried my best to answer her emails at night too, even when I would rather just be sleeping.
It was also clear just how much she loved her job, and now much she loved you guys. She had been silently watching our social media since we first started working with them. She got just as excited as we did on launch days and would often email me unprompted about how she was glad people were leaving such positive comments and reviews. She read your feedback when no one ever asked her to do that or even expected it of her. She did it because she really, really cared.
Even though she was miles away and we never met in person, she was like a coworker to me and the loss of her is like losing someone on our team.
The Maya Kern team, as a whole, has been dealing with a lot lately. I personally just moved (which took far longer than we expected) and Maya and Devin are gearing up to move back to Minneapolis pretty soon. With the loss of our merchandizer, it has taken the wind out of my sails a little bit. I was trying to push through, even though I am exhausted, and carry out the photo shoot for our new products this weekend, but it has become clear that my body just canât handle it. My arthritis has finally told me to stop moving, so unfortunately, we are going to have to reschedule the shoot for later on.
We are doing everything we can to make sure our next product drop on the 21st still happens. But as of right now, due to this sudden loss, the garments havenât even shipped from the factory yet and I am not optimistic that they will clear customs and get checked into the fulfillment center in time for the launch. This means the drop is likely going to be pushed back to December 5th and instead of a full photo shoot, we will probably have to settle for taking quick photos of everyone at home, and likely with our phones.Â
We work really hard to deliver not just garments we believe in, but also pictures of said garments on bodies that our customers can relate to, and unfortunately I just do not think that is possible this time. As always, we really appreciate your patience and understanding during what has been a very difficult time for us.
Ash
Chief Operations Officer
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Hi, hello. Iâm a long-time follower, first-time asker. I remember you saying you donât really believe that divination works? I donât know if that is still the case but, anyway, I respect it and just want to say that you, your efforts and time dedicated to this page are all valued here. The fact is you reach and help lots of people, not even just in (Iâm assuming) your country. And itâs absolutely understandable if you need to take a break. But itâs also ok to change the âvibeâ of the posts for however long. Yes, it is a funny page, and everyone appreciates that â but weâre all grieving and you can grieve here too. I hope this makes sense, I just woke up. Take care <3
My thinking is that there's nothing magical or supernatural about Tarot cards; they're just pictures on little pieces of paper. What they are is strong archetypal symbols, universal enough to apply to everybody, broad and general enough to have many possible meanings. Putting them together in combinations can spark ideas about all sorts of familiar situations. And human beings are very good at pattern recognition and storytelling, so when you put all that together, you can make connections that you otherwise might not think of. Or maybe acknowledge something that's been on your mind but you've been trying not to think about.
Or you can write silly descriptions of the normal ups and down of life, and then lots of people say "Whoa, that happened to you? That happened to me, too!" And then we all feel a little less alone.
I'm sure I will be back to posting, probably fairly soon. I'm unusually busy with some offline stuff lately (mostly positive, but time-consuming) but I miss being able to sit down quietly and shuffle my cards every day. And I miss feeling like I'm connected to my vast and faceless crowd of readers. I'm very fond of all of you out there, and hope you're doing well.
â¤ď¸
#tarot#not tarot#personal#it's so weird when I let myself remember that this absurd blog is the most successful thing I've ever done
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Vi and her Counterpartâs Violence
Okay so as soon as I saw this scene in s2e3, I was immediately reminded of this scene in s1e6
Vi sees someone she loves, someone she perceives as innocent and in dire need of protection, being so comfortable with violence. She doesnât have a problem with violence, if anything she uses it as a tool, but she has a problem with certain other people doing the same. Why should they be so violent when she has it handled? When she is meant to be the violent one, shielding them from getting to that level?
Caitlyn and Jinx are never beating the mirror allegations
In both scenes, Vi calls out her counterpartâs name multiple times. But, of course, instead of calling Jinx by her chosen name, she calls her Powder. And instead of calling Caitlyn by her given name, she calls her Cait. âJinxâ represents Viâs greatest failure, the opposite of who Powder is meant to be, while âCaitlynâ seems represent privilege and power, the two major things enabling Caitlyn to act in such an opposite way to how sheâs âmeantâ to. âCaitlynâ is who everyone else knows. They know Caitlyn Kiramman. Vi knows Cait. Vi knows her Cupcake. (Still a little confused on why we havenât heard that at all this season?)
Violence is Viâs. Itâs hers because she refuses for it to be her counterpartâs. Of course, weâve said this a million times: Vi is a protector first and foremost. A protector fails when their protectee is exposed to the weight on the protectorâs shoulders. Vi was never meant to be innocent and she never seems to resent that, all she does is take it as a challenge that has no failing option.
In both seasons, Vi was pulled away from the situation and everything was interrupted. But, at least in s2, she got to talk to Caitlyn after. The problem is that there was such an obvious disconnect. It doesnât matter if there was a kid, Caitlyn would have gotten the shot. It doesnât matter if Caitlyn would have gotten the shot, there was a kid. (Although, I do think this whole kid thing is interesting after seeing how Vi feels about collateral damage when Jayce killed that Chembaronâs child. Maybe after seeing the council explosion, Caitlynâs grief and that same Chembaron plan a terrorist attack, sheâs changed her mind?)
Vi gets to view violence as a necessity. Vi gets to choose when violence is right or wrong, not who sheâs supposed to be protecting. Vi gets to find comfort in violence, not who sheâs supposed to be protecting.
Vi begging Caitlyn not to change isnât just about everyone else in her life changing, itâs about forcing her own position to change as well when she finds so much comfort in it.
Anyway, I just think the parallels between these scenes are pretty cool and also getting to see Vi on the receiving end of violence from who sheâs meant to be protecting is so interesting. I do wish the parallels were hammered home a little bit more because the scene in s1, you could really see it in Viâs face and hear it in her voice how fearful she was of seeing Powder like that throughout the whole scene, while the fight scene felt a little short and the argument after left me wanting a bit more! Even tho I did appreciate the intensity of Caitlyn saying Jinxâs blood is in Viâs veins and Vi saying Caitlyn is the one acting like her and all Caitlyn can respond with is violence, further proving Viâs point and hurting her even more. I appreciate it all, but I hate to say that it feels like itâs missing something! I think what I wanted to hear from Vi was more than âItâs a kid!â I wanted Vi to try to wake Caitlyn up, cry to her about her and Powderâs childhoodâs, throw Caitlynâs argument about âthe cycle of violenceâ back at her. But we didnât get that.
#Just a little ramble#im so glad I rewatched s1 before s2#To slay or not to slay#Arcane#vi arcane#vi#caitlyn#Caitlyn arcane#caitlyn kiramman#Jinx#jinx arcane#jinx#Arcane spoilers#arcane s2
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Hey đđ wondering if you could write something where Damian and reader have been trying to have a baby for so long, and they've done all the treatments, but nothing ever worked, so theyâve stopped "trying". And then she ends up pregnant randomly, and her gift to him on Christmas is a positive test or a cute onesie or whatever, and it takes him a minute to actually believe her đđ
i love this request so much! working on it!
damian priest x reader
likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated!
âźď¸mention of infertility, pregnancy, pregnancy sickness, a little angst, mention of smut, fluff and comfortâźď¸
early christmas present
one year and a half.
one year and a half of you and damian trying to have a family together. one year and a half of you going from doctor to doctor, clinic to clinic and changing different treatments and yet nothing ever happened.
maybe it wasnât meant to be. maybe you and damian werenât fit to be parents and this was the sign. maybe it wasnât meant for you to be a mother in this lifetime, no matter how much you wanted to be.
and you spent a year and a half blaming yourself. you reached to a point where you tried to break up with damian, saying how he deserved someone who could give him a family.
he thought you were crazy when you said that. he loved you so much and the idea of losing you was killing him, so, after a lot of therapy sessions, sleepless nights crying in each otherâs arms, you came to the conclusion that it wasnât really meant to be and that there was nothing you could do about it.
the idea of being infertile never crossed your mind so it was a big shock to you but as time passed by, you learned how to live with that and instead of focusing on the bad things, you took your life back.
a few people in the company knew or more - heard - about you and damian not being able to have kids and tried to suggest you many different options, from adoption to surrogacy but even if they seemed having good intentions, it pain you to know that your own problems became public domain.
you and damian lived your life. he promised to stay by your side and he did. he knew how much you wanted this and he was hurting at the idea of you feeling like it was your fault.
you found strength to take your mind off of that and focusing on different things. helping damian training, having dates like it was your first time together, spending much needed time in each otherâs company. all the little things you loved that felt lost a year ago.
passionate nights with damian, him reminding you how much he loved you and appreciated you. you felt like yourself again and you got used of being just you and him, even if it meant for the rest of your life.
about a week ago you got sick. thinking it was just a normal cold, you let it go. but it got worse when the delicious smell of fresh bread and coffee became unbearable for you and got you nauseous every single morning.
âstomach issues again?â damian softly asked when he saw the disgust painted on your face.
âi think soâŚit smells so bad damianâ you tried to joke when damian backed off so he could drink his coffee without making you feel worse.
âdo you want me to make you something else? eggs? bacon? pancakes? anything you like?â he was so caring with you but the idea of eating made you even sicker.
âi feel like i could throw up the whole menuâ you said making him laugh âi booked an appointment for today, iâm having a check up, maybe i got some virus or somethingâŚnothing too seriousâ you tried to remain calm but the idea of being sick for so long made you worry.
âi wish i could come with you but i promised rhea i would help her trainâŚlet me call her so i can come with youâ he was about to pick up the phone but you stopped him.
âitâs not necessary damian, i promiseâ you smiled âshe needs you, iâll see you later on tonightâ he knew that you wouldnât have let him ditch rhea for a simple check up and he knew that no matter what he said, you wouldnât let him come.
he nodded, moving the coffee away so he could properly kiss you before you left the house.
a couple of hours later and you were sitting in your car, watching the people passing by as you were trying to elaborate what the doctor just told you.
you werenât sick - you were pregnant.
you were pretty sure it was impossible for you but all the tests the doctor ran turned positive.
how?
when?
your mind was racing and you couldnât stop the million thoughts that were going through it.
sure, you and damian stopped having sex with condoms when you were trying to have a baby and when you learned that you couldnât have kids you never really cared about safe sex anyway.
but how did it happen if you were infertile?
the doctor didnât have a proper answer and he already scheduled some appointments to keep you checked, saying that it was almost a miracle.
right now, you were thinking about damian.
how were you going to tell him?
many ideas crossed your mind. from a mug with âbest dadâ, to a small t-shirt or maybe even a teddy bear.
you wanted to make this special for him too so when you crossed a shoe store on your drive back home, you decided to stop and get some inspiration. immediately your eyes fell upon a baby version of the black nike sneakers he had and you thought it was going to be an awesome gift.
your baby wasnât even born and yet you were buying matching shoes for them and damian. while wrapping the box, the sale assistant smiled at you, unconsciously knowing that you had in mind.
you couldnât contain your excitement and enthusiasm so you tried to speed back home.
too much surprise damian was already back and he was watching something show when you entered the front door.
his eyes immediately fell upon you, remembering you had the visit that morning.
âhey mi amorâ he smiled âhow are you? feeling better? what did the doctor say?â thousands of questions immediately echoed in the room, making you chuckle.
âone question at a time damianâ you smiled sitting next to him on the couch âiâm feeling better, thanks, and the doctor gave me an explanation on why i keep getting sick, especially in the morningâ you tried not to be so excited but it was hard.
âso?â damian was worried. he couldnât understand why you were so happy and smiley.
instead of giving him an answer, you took the box right out of your bag and gave it to him âlet say this is an early christmas presentâŚand also the reason on why iâm always so sickâ you watched him look between you and the box âcome on, open itâ you smiled.
damian carefully opened the small box and for a moment his heart stopped.
mini shoes? he wasnât understanding.
and then it clicked.
âwhat? how? is this real?â his eyes moved between your now teary eyes and the little shoes he was holding in his hands âis it real?â
you nodded, not being able to find enough words.
âweâre gonna be parents?â he asked, now fully already knowing the answer.
âyesâŚâ your voice broke a little but the joy filling the room was worth all of the tears you were shedding.
âthis is the best gift i could ever ask forâ he wrapped you in his arms and held you as you both cried of joy.
âi already booked the next appointments. the doctor wants to run some more tests and try to understand how i actually got pregnantâŚand we have an ultrasound appointment in a week tooâŚweâre gonna see the baby soonâ you cried onto damianâs shoulder.
âfuck, i love you so much mi amorâ he quickly wiped off his tears before softly kiss your lips âand i canât believe you got us matching shoesâ he bursted out laughing.
âi canât wait to get you matching clothes, matching pjs, matching socks, everything gonna be matchingâ you joked, making him even happier.
damianâs hand went over your belly âi canât wait to meet you babyâŚâ he softly spoke making your heart warm âyou are already so lovedâŚwe love you so much, mama and papaâŚi canât believe iâm saying thisâ he was still high on emotions and you couldnât blame him.
maybe it really was a christmas miracle.
#wwe#wwe x reader#wwe imagine#wwe x you#wwe imagines#wwe one shot#wwe x oc#wwe damian priest#damian priest x reader#damian priest#damian priest fanfic#damian priest imagines#wwe damian#damian priest smut#damian priest wwe#damian priest imagine#damian priest x oc#damian priest x you#wwe damian priest x reader#damian priest x y/n#damian priest x female reader#damian priest and reader#damian priest fluff#damian priest angst#damian priest one shot#damian priest oneshot#damian priest x me lol#the judgment day x reader#the judgment day x you#the judgment day one shot
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Apple of My Eye Chapter Two
Eventual! Harry Hook x Child of Snow White! Reader
Chapter Two: Friend Like Me
Summary: (Y/N) and the VKs get along very well, even if other Auradon kids are avoiding them.
           (Y/N) grimaced as they walked towards the âRemedial Goodness 101â classroom. They wished they had known about the class before Evie, Carlos, Mal, and Jay arrived. Then they could have said, âNo, thatâs a terrible idea for a class because itâs demeaning and horrible and also says to their face that we think theyâre stupid and already evil.â
           Unfortunately, it was done, and the VKs were stuck in the class. Fortunately, the hour was up, and (Y/N) got to save them from Fairy Godmotherâs cliches and take them to their next class.
           âYou find a vial of poison!â said Fairy Godmother dramatically. âDo you: A, put it in the kingâs wine? B, paint it on an apple?ââ Laughter from Evie, non-malicious, and the othersâ âOr C, turn it over to the proper authorities?â
           âObviously paint it on an apple,â said (Y/N) as they walked into the room. âBecause who is silly enough to take an apple from a stranger?â They laughed.
           Evie chuckled a little, Mal snorted, and Jay and Carlos grinned. Fairy Godmother sighed, used to (Y/N)âs humor, and put on a smile.
           âIs our time up already?â said Fairy Godmother.
           âYouâre the stickler for time,â said (Y/N). âItâs time for gym for Jay and Carlos, and Evie and Mal have English with me.â
           âAlright, donât be late,â said Fairy Godmother, waving as her students packed up to leave. âAnd remember to be good!â
           âIâm really sorry about that class,â said (Y/N). âI think Ben was pushed into allowing it so that everyone would relax.â They sighed. âAt least itâs an easy A.â
           âPick the least fun option is the answer key,â said Mal, smirking. Sheâd already figured it out.
           (Y/N) chuckled.
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           âWelcome to our poetry class,â said (Y/N), sitting down at a table. Evie and Mal sat across from them.
           âWe have to write about our feelings?â said Mal, unimpressed.
           âNo, we can write about anything. Todayâs a free day,â said (Y/N). âWe can either read the assigned piecesâweâre currently reading about poems on nature and how some social classes look at nature positively due to their position while others look at it negativelyâor we work on our own pieces. At the end of the year weâll have a curated collection to show growth and understanding of various techniques.â
           âIâm still not going to make itâŚsappy,â said Mal.
           âDo spells have a cadence?â asked (Y/N).
           âYes,â said Mal. âObviously. Otherwise youâre just talking.â
     ��     âSo spells are poems with magic,â said (Y/N). âTry making your own spell.â
           âAnd it can be anything?â said Mal, considering now. She could create an evil spell to impress her mother with.
           âPreferably not a curse, I donât think anyone would appreciate that,â said (Y/N).
           Mal hummed noncommittedly. Sheâd behave in front of everyone, but her mission was clear. She would make her mother proud.
           âIâm going to write about finding my prince,â sighed Evie. âAnd castles. And ballgowns.â
           âYouâre going to love your arts elective,â said (Y/N). They smiled. âItâs design.â
           Mal could have sworn she saw hearts in Evieâs eyes and decided to erase the disgusting sight from her memory. And she pushed away the smile that twitched at the edges of her lips upon seeing her best friend so happy.
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           âI can use any of this,â said Evie, staring at the rolls upon rolls of fabric before her.
           âYeah,â said (Y/N) as they sketched. âAnd if youâre part of the design club, you can come any time during the day, not just your class.â They smiled. âMost people in this class do it to learn small DIYs, they still like their personal tailors and everything, but some people have made formal gowns and suits here, too.â
           âIâm going to make a whole new wardrobe,â said Evie, flipping open her sketchbook and getting to work.
           (Y/N) smiled.
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           âYou donât have to work with me,â said Mal coldly as she measured the chemical they were about to combine in the flask. Chemistry required a lot of close attention.
           âYou needed a partner, and everyone else here knows someone,â said (Y/N), holding the flask steady.
           âYou mean no one wants to work with the Villain Kid,â said Mal, straightforward. âAnd youâre assigned to us.â
           âI volunteered,â said (Y/N).
           Mal paused and looked at them. âYou volunteered?â She didnât believe it.
           âYeah,â said (Y/N), smiling.
           âWhy?â demanded Mal.
           âBecause I think Benâs right,â said (Y/N). âYou and all the other children born on the Isle arenât at fault for what your parents did. You deserve freedom, a chance to live your own story.â They smiled. âSo I volunteered to work on the project. I want you, Evie, Carlos, and Jay to do well here so that Ben can bring more kids over.â
           âAnd yet he chose the worst and the worst to start out with,â said Mal.
           âGo big or go home, right?â said (Y/N), chuckling.
           âMy mom tried that by turning into a dragon, and I think she got the âgo homeâ option. Sheâs still not over that,â remarked Mal with a grin.
           âMy mom had to create a pros and cons list for eating nectarines because theyâre a cross of peaches and apples, and sheâs still suspicious of all apples,â said (Y/N).
           The pair looked at each other before laughing.
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           âHow do you think things are going?â asked Ben excitedly. âI think Jay is interested in Tourney, and Carlos likes Dude!â
           âThatâs great,â said (Y/N), smiling.
           âI saw Mal with Jane. Are they friends?â said Ben, a large grin on his face. âThis is going so well.â
           âSlow down,â said (Y/N). âItâs only been a few days. Things are still settling for them.â
           âBut it has been going well,â said Ben.
           âWell, theyâve been doing well in classes, which is good,â said (Y/N). âAnd Jane and Mal have hung out more.â They frowned. âEven if it is because Mal did Janeâs hairâŚâ They were a bit hesitant around beauty magic due to theâŚlengths some people went with insecuritiesâsomeone trying to murder your mother over looks would make you unsure about that magicâbut it was just hair, right? And it was a nice thing Mal did. âBut Jane seems happier, and Mal was only hanging with the VKs and me before that, so I guess itâs a step. And Evie spends time with Doug. And Chad, unfortunately, but heâs harmless other than having a pretty face with no real brain.â
           âYou spend a lot of time with them,â said Ben. âYou guys seem to be real friends.â
           âJealous?â said (Y/N), glancing at Ben. They knew he spent a lot of time checking up with Mal when he saw her.
           He coughed and turned a bit red. âJealous? No, just concerned. I want to make sure theyâre doing well.â
           âUh-huh,â hummed (Y/N).
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           âMom said, âIf a boy canât see the beauty within, then heâs not worth it,â â complained Jane. âCan you believe it? What world does she live in?â
           âAuradon,â said Mal.
           âJane, do you want a man who only wants beauty or one that loves all of you?â said (Y/N).
           Jane sighed. âAll of me. But they all want beauty, too.â
           âYou are beautiful, Jane,â said (Y/N). They wished their friends could see their own beauty, inside and out.
           âSays the child of Snow White, the most beautiful woman ever,â grumbled Jane.
           âDoes it look like I got those genes?â said (Y/N), leaning on their hand.
           Jane huffed. âStill better than me. I got stocky fairy genes.â
           âMal, (Y/N), what do you think?â Evie held up her latest creation, a black and blue dress.
           âIt brings out your eyes,â said Mal.
           âIt looks nice,â said (Y/N).
           âI know,â said Evie proudly.
           âIâll never get a boyfriend,â bemoaned Jane.
           âBoyfriends are overrated,â said Mal.
           âHow would you know, Mal? Youâve never had one,â said Evie.
           âItâs âcause I donât need one, E,â retorted Mal. âTheyâre a waste of time.â
           Evie gasped at the mention of time. âI forgot to do Chadâs homework!â
           âAnd that is exactly what I mean,â said Mal.
           âEvie, you shouldnât do it for him,â said (Y/N). âHe is not worth it.â Evie was worth so much more than just her looks, and that was all Chad would look at.
           âWhat, is he a bad ex?â said Mal, smirking.
           âNo, heâs just a shallow idiot,â said (Y/N). âThink male version of Audrey but less sharp.â
           Mal snorted at the description.
           âYou always land great partners,â said Jane. âThatâs why you donât worry like I do.â
           âIâve had two dates,â said (Y/N), shrugging. âAnd neither of them were right for me.â
           Evie put down Chadâs homework to grin. âSpill. Who?â
           âPrincess Ariel and Prince Ericâs son and Prince Naveen and Princess Tianaâs daughter,â said (Y/N).
           âYou dated two royals?â Evie sighed. âLucky.â
           âI went out on one day with each, but neither gave me a real spark. I just felt content. I didnât feel alive,â said (Y/N). They smiled. âIâm still waiting to find True Love.â
           âTrue Love, huh? If it hadnât defeated my mom, I wouldnât believe in it,â said Mal.
           âIt is pretty rare,â admitted (Y/N). âBut it would still be nice to find it.â
           Evie smiled softly. âYeah.â
            Knock-knock.
           Lonnie, (Y/N)âs friend, knocked on the door of the room and peeked inside.
           âHi,â she said, smiling at everyone. âIâm Lonnie. My Momâs Mulan? No? Anyways, I love what youâve done with Janeâs hair.â Lonnie grinned at Mal. âAnd I know you hate us, and, well, youâre evilââ (Y/N) frowned ââBut do you think you can do mine?â
           Mal frowned. âWhy would I do that for you?â
           âIâll pay you fifty dollars,â said Lonnie.
           âGood answer.â Evie took the money. âI need to buy more material. Letâs seeâŚIâm thinking weâll lose the bangs, maybe some layers, and some highlights.â
           âYeah, yeah, I want it to be cool,â said Lonnie. âLike Malâs.â
           âThe split ends, too?â said Evie. Mal glowered, and Evie just smirked and shook the money at her.
           Mal sighed, grabbed her spell book, and flipped through it. âOkayâŚâBeware, foreswear, replace the old with cool hair.â â She drew a design in the air with her finger.
           Lonnieâs hair became a lighter brown and cascaded down her shoulders in soft curls. She touched the soft locks and looked into the mirror. Her eyes widened.
           âI know, I know,â said Evie. âIt looks like a mop on your head. You know what, letâs cut it off. Layer itââ
           âNo, no, no,â said Lonnie, grinning. âI love it.â
           âYou do?â said Evie.
           Lonnie grabbed the edge of her skirt and ripped. Now she had a slit in her skirt. âNow Iâm cool,â she said proudly.
           Jane walked up next to her and looked in the mirror. She grabbed the hem of her skirt. She tore. Then, she gasped. âWhat did I just do? Momâs gonna kill me.â
           âShe wonât, itâs just a skirt,â said (Y/N), waving a hand.
           âThanks, Mal,â said Lonnie. She smiled. âIâm going to tell all the girls. Bye!â She left the room. Jane hurried out after her, already trying to figure out what to tell her mom about her skirt.
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           (Y/N) yawned as they walked towards the dorm kitchen. They were starving, and theyâd run out of fruit theyâd kept in their dorm, so off to the kitchens they went. They opened the door and found a startled Mal, Evie, Carlos, and Jay staring at them from inside.
           Smiling, they walked farther in. âHey, guys, grabbing a midnight snack, too?â They looked at the cookie batter on the table. âLooks good. Mind if I try some?â They grabbed a spoon, dipped it, and took a bite. âMmm.â
           Evie and Mal winced, Carlos and Jay exchanged glances, and all four looked at (Y/N) expectantly.
           âDo youâŚfeel anything?â said Evie slowly.
           âLike itâsâŚmissing something?â said Mal.
           âYou guys could add chocolate chips,â suggested (Y/N), turning to the fridge. Behind them, all the VKs let out a breath of relief that nothing had gone wrong.
           âChocolate chips?â said Jay, furrowing his brow.
           âSome of the best treats out there,â said (Y/N), taking a bag out of the fridge. They smiled. âMy mom would always add them to brownies and cookies when I was feeling down.â (Y/N) sprinkled some into the bowl, and the VKs watched the tiny pieces of chocolate mix with the batter.
           âFeeling down?â said Evie quietly.
           âYeah,â said (Y/N), leaning on the table. âI had a tough time with insecurity growing up. When everyone in the world thinks your mom is beautiful, they make comments expecting you to be. It took me a while to learn not to compare myself to others.â They smiled as they remembered their childhood. âBut my mom would always remind me of what mattered when I got down, and sheâd make us sweets, put on a movie, and just hold me.â They looked up, and their face fell.
           Each of the VKs was staring at them with a strange look in their eyes. Carlos had leaned in longingly. Jay was silent, looking at his feet. Mal had furrowed her brow, confused by the idea of what (Y/N)âs mom was like. Evie stared at the cookie batter, thinking of all the times sheâd been insecure and been reminded she would never be as fair as her mom but she needed to be second best at least.
           They hadnât gotten that softness, that kindness.
           âDid IâŚsay something?â said (Y/N) quietly. They hadnât meant to upset them.
           Mal cleared her throat. âItâs just different where weâre from.â
           âOh. So your parents didnâtââ (Y/N) swallowed as they watched the VKs shift and blink away their emotions. Tears burned the edges of (Y/N)âs eyes. The VKsâ parents hadnât helped any of them deal with their insecurities and instead fed into them. âIâm sorry,â whispered (Y/N). âYou deserve better.â A tear ran down their cheek.
           Malâs eyes widened, she reached out, and she wiped the tear from (Y/N)âs cheek. (Y/N) blinked in confusion, and Mal flicked her hands dryâand the tear âhappenedâ to fall into the bowl of batter.
           âYeah, well, big bummer,â said Mal, clearing her throat and moving on. She was not soft. âBut we have to get these in the oven, so thank you so much for coming by.â
           âBye,â said Evie as Mal pushed (Y/N) towards the door.
           âOh, yeah, right,â said (Y/N). They wouldnât intrude any more after ruining the mood. âGoodnight.â
           âWeâll see you tomorrow,â said Mal.
           âSweâEvil dreams,â said Evie.
Taglist:
@neenieweenie
@hampterfae
@american-idiot-jpg
@lunalixya
@roo024
@unholycheesesnack
@paastaboi
@lbee13
#descendants 1#descendants x reader#mal descendants#disney descendants#descendants#descendants harry#harry hook x reader#harry hook#x reader#gn reader#nb reader#x gn reader#x nb reader#disney x reader#child of snow white#evie descendants#carlos descendants#ben descendants#jay descendants
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Hey there my sweetest, beloved Vexi âĄ
I just wanted to share something personal with you that you can then share with others because I know that they feel the same.
Writing has always been my passion. It's been the one thing that has kept me afloat in my life. Regardless of whether people love my writing or hate it, I would continue for the sake of continuing because it is my life.
But when I rejoined fandom spaces, I was terrified after hearing stories of how the culture had changed significantly. Interaction is lower, and hate has unfortunately always made its home in these communities. Given I share fanfiction solely to share with the aforementioned communities, I found myself afraid that I would get hate messages. I was afraid I wouldn't have a community that would stand up for me if that were to happen. While it would never deter me from what I love, I was scared that friendships and positivity were long dead in this space. Fandom felt lonely.
You know what though? I have met wonderful person after wonderful person. And then I met you too. There you are, getting some of the most horrendous messages I've ever seen sent to another human being, and you continue to push for positivity - smiling and laughing with us about how much you just want to see people happy.
Then you went on to start share some of the wonderful messages you recieved throughout that ordeal, only to begin writing positive affirmations and thoughts for us. Once upon a time, I struggled to accept this sort of positivity, I will admit that. When I was having a rough time, I would often see messages like that as 'hollow' for a lack of better words. I would be angry or bitter that others could think like that when I struggled so much to feel like those words should have meant something to me.
While time has passed since I was that person, I still remember the feeling of hopelessness, yet that doesn't deter from the fact that people like you - and countless others - single handedly restored my faith in these communities.
People like you remind me why I cling to my ideals of treating everyone with kindness no matter what. To try to understand other people. To help others. These are all things that bring us closer together. People like you, @silva-daemonium, @fraugwinska, @macabr3-barbi3, @chrisemrysfics, @melodyonthewireless, @dewdropdinosaur, @xalygatorx, @kewpikayo, @jurijyuu, @jalicecookie, AND SO MANY MORE do so much to support those around you.
All of this came about because I wanted to say thank you for posting those short little messages of encouragment. I know that I have appreciated them. Sure, they might seem a little cheesy to me on a morning when I'm tired - but they really make me smile, and prepare me to tackle whatever the day gives.
You're the beating heart of positivity.
It's a fairytale ending to the horror stories I expected.
I know that other people will see this too, so I just wanted to wish everyone that sees this a relaxing morning, afternoon, evening - timezone in general! You're here, and you've worked hard to be here all this time. Everything you've needed to do to achieve that, you've done. That's huge. I'm so proud of everyone, and my DMs are always open to anyone who might be struggling or just wants to talk. I'll always aim to help my community in the same way that Vexi has demonstrated.
Love to you all, and again, thank you for your messages, Vexi!
âĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄâĄ
Cirice, I honestly donât have the words to fully capture how much your kindness means to me. You are truly one of the most thoughtful, beautiful souls Iâve ever had the honor to meet, and I canât thank you enough for your words. Knowing that something Iâve done has made even a small impact on people like you is still so surreal to me. Iâm just deeply grateful that youâre part of this community.
You and so many others are the reason why Iâve stayed here longer than in any other fandom. Itâs been the most heartwarming experience. This community, especially people like you, has genuinely transformed my perspective on what fandoms can be: a space filled with compassion, creativity, and connection.
Thank you for sharing your story, for giving me (and others) a piece of your heart. I hope your words reach others, inspiring them to create, to feel they belong, and to understand how wonderful it is to be part of something like this. Knowing weâre all here together, finding meaning in these connections, it makes the world feel a little less lonely and a lot brighter. đ
Also tagging the people that didn't get properly tagged because tumblr is broken: @dewdropdinosaur @xalygatorx @kewpikayo @jurijyuu @jailcecookie
#redvexillum answers#positivity#i love this so much#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fandom#pp#poisonpositivity inside joke#i love you cirice#Vexi throws love punches
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Hiii pretties! Welcome to my blog!! Please keep things positive and stay slutty my friends!!!
~If you have any requests, please feel free to leave it in my inbox!!!~
Masterlist: The Watcher (Part One, Part Two, ...)
you can read the rest if you wanna like know more about me n shit ig
Hello!! I'm Kay, or K, kat, whatever you wanna call me. I'm literally just a girl. I am a freakkkk. I do be a bit of a stoner y'all, and I usually am high when I write, so if I make a mistake, I'm blaming that. I'm from the United States (unfortunately) and I only speak English. This is a safe place; I am always here if anyone wants to talk. I do not discriminate; I do not spread hate. I do not and will not tolerate hate or unkind behavior towards me or others here on my blog. Like seriously guys I have bad anxiety, so please be nice and don't make it harder for me.
This is pretty much solely for Outer Banks, Rafe Cameron to be more specific. But, feel free to talk to me about other things!
Other things I'm interested in/passionate about: Taylor Swift, veterinary medicine, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, The Walking Dead, 13 Reasons Why, Supernatural, Jurassic Park/World, Harry Potter, The Maze Runner, The Hunger Games, comedy movies (Seth Rogen & James Franco). I love cold weather, books, and cats. Music is life and I listen to a little bit of everything so feel free to send songs.
I AM a student, so just keep in mind that I may be inactive because Iâm in CLASS or doing work; because I will prioritize that over tumblr (well, i try). Other times Iâm inactive because I am sleeping, or because Iâm busy with LIFE. I am not tied to my tumblr and blog. Iâve had only positive experiences here so far, but I know that fanfic writers are often mistreated by readers, but guys we are all just people.
If you want me to hurry up and publish new work, don't tell me that, just interact with my blog and compliment my writing and that will motivate me more than anything else ever could. Also ASK AND REQUEST PLEASEEE!! I really enjoy and appreciate new ideas and feedback from other people's brains. I also appreciate constructive criticism. Don't be mean about it, but if you dislike or disagree with something, tell me politely. I like hearing feedback and am always working on improving my writing.
Seriously y'all, please please PLEASE do NOT be hateful. Do that on your own time, not here. I will not tolerate unnecessary attitude and hate. I believe in forgiveness, and I know that mistakes and misunderstandings happen. I will treat anyone and everyone with kindness and respect unless I have reason not to (really hoping I don't).
Who do I write for? I only write for Rafe Cameron. However, I'm not opposed to writing a little or sharing thoughts about other Outer Banks Characters!
What do I write? I will write literally almost anything. Thereâs no such thing as too much for me, so request away please. ------ As for darker topics, I will write them. Actually, a large portion of my work will include darker topics/themes/kinks, etc. I will write sensitive subjects too. But just because I live for that shit, doesn't mean everyone else does so I'll do my best to include warnings on all my work for any content that might potentially be triggering for others.
(Small warning: mentions of my mental struggles and self-destructive habits) I've always struggled mentally. I've always felt as though the way my brain works is different from everyone else; like something is wrong with me. But after many many years, I now have a better understanding of myself and how my brain works. Not to dump this on y'all, I swear I have a point, but I have diagnosed depression, anxiety, and ADHD. These things are all a big challenge I face in my day-to-day life and are often the leading cause of why I may take longer to write and publish things. I may take breaks, so don't worry if I'm not active, I will be back at some point. And I'll try my best to update you guys on when I'm gonna be less active or vice versa. Another way my mental health effects my writing is because when I write, a lot of the time my personal experiences or feelings will end up incorporated within my work, since well, it's all coming from my brain. I mostly write for myself to express my thoughts and feelings, having others read and actually enjoy my work is just an added bonus. But personally, I have struggled with self-harm for about one third of my life. I often get ideas for new works revolving around this theme and may publish things about it eventually. Themes such as mental illnesses, self-harm, abuse, insecurities, EDs, suicidal thoughts, unhealthy relationships (obv), toxic household, etc. will have a reoccurring appearance throughout my works. So just be prepared, I guess.
And like I said before, if anyone needs to talk, I am ALWAYS here and I am a very good listener.
Everyone is more than welcome to message me or leave anything in my inbox. Whether it's to chat, request something, ask something, literally whatever is welcome!! (Except hate I don't fw that)
Thank you for visiting my blog, I hope you enjoy! As always, be kind and stay slutty!
#rafesbabyg1rl#thewatcher#rafe cameron#drew starkey#outer banks#outer banks netflix#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#rafe obx#outer banks fanfiction#outerbanks x reader
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I think itâs so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I canât even say I am excused from it but itâs just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.
Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they canât even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. Thereâs no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captainâs word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They donât allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.
Iâm not saying characters that made mistakes didnât make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. Thereâs a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.
#like even I forget that all actions taken in the game were people trying to remain in protocol outside of Jimmy#Anya couldnât have jus stolen the scanner and got the gun cause sheâs a sensible person and knows sheâd be in legal trouble#or get everyoneâs credits docked or just hoping that thereâs some chain of command for this sort of thing#Daisuke only really acted in accordance to his direct superiors because heâs an intern he wouldnât know the first thing about protocol or#what to do in any situation. like this is essentially implied to be his first real job#Curly may be the captain but he still has to follow rules and procedures and we see with the letter the Pony Express likely has very shady#and shitty ones. he gives the best not depressing or totalitarian options he can otherwise everything is just his word which arenât even his#or like him just asserting his position with the gun which he wouldnât do#Swansea follows the book begrudgingly because heâs trying to stay right and not fall back into who he once was#I feel like itâs not incorporated nearly enough that the environment they were dropped into heavily affected their actions#say there was a single person higher than Curly or a plan of action when a crew member is considered a danger to himself or others#I think itâs fascinating how people will stick to protocol and break when they get scared or to their limit#cause the game shows how normalcy deteriorates and I think discounting what the characters where put through by the company takes a way a#real and scary aspect of what happened to Anya because as a friend Curly didnât do enough for her at all his comfort was there and he#appreciated but it was a distracted sort of care but as a Captain he didnât protect her but heâs was a Captain of the Pony Express like what#if they told him to wait to? he still shouldâve done something because Anya was actively suffering and Jimmy shouldâve been reprimanded but#heâs a captain with orders like the Tulpar isnât his ship in the same way like#god I wanna explain this in a way that makes sense but the Tulpar is like designed to breed animosity and work on the bare requirements one#needs to get things done thatâs not how people work and if anyone deviates or interrupts that it literally has nothing to handle it#it becomes clear that if any social unrest happens why they just say fuck it and give the Captain the gun because if something happens the#blame can easily be placed on the person they put in charge despite what they put them#in charge of like this is just like work place harassment irl because often the perpetrators are not punished but the supervisors for not#stopping them with meetings or cuts or whatever but the environment the company fostered is rarely fixed or blamed#like why was this allowed to occur? and honestly that is because Jimmy did what he did#ask me about this if this is confusing cause I worded it crazy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#the pony express
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"haha, are you an art gay, a science gay, or a math gay"
Actually, I find the division between art, science, and math to be a very nebulous idea and useless when you actually interact with the universe. The more you learn about the world, the more you surround yourself with art and science and math, and you'll never be able to see it any other way and it will be beautiful. When I take your hand, it won't be the science of our atoms closing the distance between us that we will experience, but the math of our fingers interlocking and the art of our bodies that we will experience. You are math and you are science and you are art, and nothing will make you any lesserđ
#positivity#the planets are singing right now. are you listening?#if you can't experience the art of science and the science of art then i think you're missing out#the more i intentionally try to learn the more i love art and sfience and the world đ#i was always more of a humanities person but i've grown restless and taking up science??????? holy shit??????#i was in class the other day and a very simple concept finally clicked in a fundamental way and i think that's why i'm alive actually#i think i know how michaelangelo felt when he painted the creation of adam#this is why i really encourage y'all to look up on youtube some free lectures because some of them are so amazing#like i watched a lecture about elements and it's still fucking me up when i think about it#this is also why i despise the whole 'modern art isn't really art; it takes no skill đĄ' thing people like to do#please sit down and paint one of the installments of Who's Afraid of Red Yellow and Blue#i've learned to appreciate that installment and art series as of late and i think it's nice art#i love this stupid fucking world đž
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the thing is, youâre absolutely right! because what neurotypical people sometimes donât understand is the massive difference between the average level of social interaction that they themselves vs other people get outside of organized or scheduled events like work or school, and also donât understand the massive difference between what failure looks like, and how those two things overlap. iâm told that among the average neurotypical person, theyâll make a point to talk to people in their lives or hang out with friends or go on dates or chat with other people in public spaces, al to have casual interactions, multiple times a day, multiple days a week. meaning, if they have a failed social interaction, itâs buffered by the many successful interactions theyâll go on to have. failure most likely wonât mean complete isolation, because they have multiple avenues of interaction to fall back on. and, moreover, a failure in a social interaction when you have (on average) fewer than most means that now rather than that person going âoh that was a weird interaction, i talk to them a lot and itâs not usually like that, maybe it was an off dayâ they go âhuh i donât know that person very well maybe theyâre just like that?â, which means that the odds are way different on whether relationships stay good after mistakes.
social skills are not actually as inherent as neurotypical people like to think. itâs just that when youâre always in practice, always getting back on the proverbial horse, the advice âjust get back out there!â does actually work very well. but if youâre not able to do that for any variety of reasons, you canât play the game the same way. my advice is not âtry harderâ, itâs âlower your expectations for yourself on what a good interaction and a moment of connection might beâ. just as itâs possible youâre somehow unintentionally upsetting people, itâs possible youâre unintentionally making them feel happy, or valued, or heard, even in small, passing interactions. remind yourself that youâre working with fewer resources and a much more limited data pool. a lot of the advice being given is coming from someone who assumes they understand what the math looks like for you, because itâs very difficult to imagine that other side. so instead of trying to overlay a system made for someone who has resources that you just donât have, you need to figure out what a functional system of interaction looks like for you, and adapt the advice given to fit your situation. my advice, bearing that in mind, is that finding communities and groups can look like a lot of different things, and getting your social needs met can come from a lot of sources, and ideally should! you would understand best what your situation is, and thereâs no shame in changing tact to accommodate for your own needs and boundaries.
forgot to answer this for a bit lol BUT yeah, the post was a little bit more about the Conceptual argument than it was about me specifically, so I'm definitely already with you re: 'finding out what your Individual social goals are and working based off of those instead having high expectations based off of other people's metric' stuff. You definitely have a huge point with the "social buffer disparity" between NT people and ND people, where failures are both less demoralizing internally and less impactful externally when you're able to have a greater average of interactions generally also
but I really appreciated the "just as itâs possible youâre somehow unintentionally upsetting people, itâs possible youâre unintentionally making them feel happy, or valued, or heard, even in small, passing interactions" aspect of this message. I do definitely have a recurring problem of like, labeling Myself as an Uncanny Valley Person and automatically assuming that every interaction I'm involved in must be some level of uncomfortable for the other person -- it actually was kind of a revolution moment reading this and realizing that OH it does make sense that if I can unintentionally make people uncomfortable, it's statistically just as likely that I can unintentionally lift people's spirits in one way or another! So thank you very much for that!!
#like this is kind of tangentially related but i have been watching a lot of the smsh reading redit videos and#a story in one of them was this guy posting about how he had a coworker who Really liked Transfrmers and talked about it constantly#and it annoyed him so much that he eventually told her to Shut Up and That's where i tend to assume i push people socially#BUT the flip side to the story was that his Other coworkers told him off over it bc when she Did stop talking about Transformers#at work they really missed it -- like they had genuinely enjoyed listening to her and they wanted Him to apologize so she'd continue#and this ask was the thing that actually made that idea click in my head lol; that weirdness/intensity is not universally Derided#and plenty of people Can and Do appreciate it just as much as others might dislike it.#i wouldn't say i've been wanting to be More Social lately but I HAVE been thinking a lot about like. Talking More?#confusing phrasing. like i'm not particularly pressed/interested about Making Friends but i have spent years sort of holding my#tongue in ways i didn't when i was a kid; which is a habit i have been interested in breaking bc i miss being That enthusiastic#i've been like. trying to build up confidence with like 'i will be annoyingn people and that's Fine' but this ask is like a whole other#- more Positive - aspect of 'it's just as possible your enthusiasm would be a Boon to others' that i wasn't thinking about at all#it's nice to keep in mind! it's definitely more in the spirit of enthusiasm than being braced solely for negativity lmao
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one thing I love about following celebrities/artists who are honest and proactive about their mental health struggles etc is I canât count the number of times someone I know is going through something and Iâm like âIâve got a song for uâ and how much of my life involves telling myself âif [redacted] can do something/get better/etc then so can iâ (and having actual real evidence of it in front of me) and I canât understate how much I appreciate these things.
but at the same time it involves a whole lot of watching people I care about suffer and you learn to read the signs and infer between the lines in songs and interviews, and yes we can never fully know what they donât share with us, but when they do share things itâs not a big stretch to be like âthis seems like itâs what life is like for you and I have taken encouragement from it but you deserve so much betterâ. and itâs easy to find ways to get angry at a predatory industry and realise things that could be hurtful if youâre already fragile.
and we can advocate for some things and help ourselves and the people around us feel better but itâs hard to meaningfully reach your faves as an individual. and there are things we canât say on the internet in too much detail, speculation becomes the harmful kind of gossip, and so sometimes itâs a whole lot of internally saying âyouâre doing incredibly well to have gotten to where you are but I wish for your sake things would get better fasterâ
#curse and catch 22 (not the song)#I didnât mean to make this so anonymous as a post but maybe. itâs applicable to a lot of artists. I donât know#just thinking about how sometimes someone will say something and itâs like âoh honeyâ if you can see. why they might be saying it#like a glimpse into the top of an iceberg that makes a lot of sense to be there given other things they do and talk about#I feel like weâre in a unique position as a fandom with the way all four of them have been so vulnerable in different ways#and they may not be perfect but imo no one deserves to suffer like that especially for an extended amount of time. but the thing is#sometimes the fans are suffering and so are our faves and people appreciate the relatability and donât have any basic compassion#or ability to see past their own struggles. with this fandom especially compared to a lot of others Iâve been in and I think I know why#but in the end the way I see it weâve gotten so much relatable content and encouragement (bc the Finding The Positives Vibes which are ther#and sometimes thereâs nothing we can give back apart from being a part of systemic change which all of us deserve for ourselves too#idk if this band is unique in this or I just find them more relatable personally and thus easier to see how hard theyâve worked#on themselves and taking risks in order to be honest. and it reminds me of the quote about how suffering wonât make your art better#healing will. and so imo anyone whose art is really good when they are going through a lot has me thinking. imagine what itâd be like#when life isnât so hard for you?? or when youâre getting better but it just takes a long time Iâm like. you deserve to feel better faster#this all said Iâm incredibly proud and Iâm not trying to insinuate thereâs anything catastrophic going on bc there absolutely isnt#I am not in any way worried. Iâve seen tragedies about to happen and these guys show none of the signs. but I do relate to a lot of tidbits#pertaining to. certain chronic mental illnesses and/or being neurodivergent in an unaccommodating world (donât ask which)#things I would anticipate would be a lot harder when thereâs hordes of often fickle occasionally predatory fans to contend with#sometimes I just think of this idk#celebrities are people#5 seconds of summer#5sos#5sos fandom#cw mental health things
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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ohh the joy of videos and streams... i like listening to people talk about things they like/think about itâs very contagious... đĽş
#lizzy speaks#THIS IS BROUGHT TO U BY THE MINATO BRAINCELLS SHAKING BACK AND FORTH..#so so many of my interests feel like they're in some kind of hibernation lately in terms of the emotions they evoke#my brains been mostly gravitating towards formulating strategies and trying new things in splatoon right now... LOL.. so i havent thought-#a whole bunch about other things i like even if they do mean a lot to me..#so i really appreciate being around other people who really like the things that they like because its infectious and reminds me why-#i enjoy those characters / ships / whatever else#like oh... ryomina.. minato.. ryoji... i love them very much and i like hearing other people express their appreciation for them#also yosuke.... i like hearing my friends talk about yosuke his characters a very fun one for me even if i never took the time 2 personally#analyze him its just very nice to be around that kind of energy! im so grateful!#related but unrelated squid school made a video about the splatoon manga... which i havent thought abt in a month or two#yet somehow watching that revitalized my sleeping lil braincell that loves vintage coroika...#IDK i just feel like lately ive gotten to be around a very contagious positive energy of people who appreciate stuff and i like that!!#mayb ill stream again... something about talking about things out loud and not over text evokes a certain kind of insanity#i like to draw to express my love 4 the things i've come across but sometimes i think too much abt the quality.. LOL#so maybe ill just go FUCK IT we ball!! better to draw than to not draw at all. or ill just stream 2 outlet the 'hehe i love so many things'#there is so much love stored in my heart it hurts i lov So many Things and I love Being reminded of that god i love people loving things!!!
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welp. meow meow meow
#right as i think 'wow im so glad i decided to get out' i got the 'we have paused hiring for this position' email#also i am trying So Hard to be So Nice to the work ppl im having a hard time with and their boss is like Lying to my two-up boss#about me being mean to techs#and being super petty to the rest of my team#but really straight up lying and saying im like bullying techs? what? i brought donuts and i said how much i appreciate their work!!#and have explicitly made not a single criticism or asked them to do anything outside of the function of their jobs#AND. so I got a 5:45 pm call from my boss's boss about feedback for me!! that he said [redacted] said that i made people defensive#and i was like what!! 'you asked them to do extra work and take longer and made someone defensive' every one of those is wrong#the boss of that team is such a guy! how can you be so incompetent and so mean and do petty things that do no good for anyone#meow meow meow i will talk to my boss's boss again tmrw about what Actually happened bc I keep things In Writing and . idk. slander#i am explicitly trying So Very Hard to be especially proactive and kind here that it hurts extra to have this behind-the-back accusations#meow. meow meow.
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Try though I may not to get invested in people who are Perfect Strangers to me just because they have an affable online persona, I do find myself very endeared to Brandon Sanderson. I have read none of his books, but I think his YouTube videos are very enjoyable and I am much relieved that he has both vocally affirmed his support of LGBTQ+ people in general, and trans people specifically, and has apologised (in a way that seems very sincere and earnest to me) for clumsy and unintentionally homophobic things he has said in the past. Which is, like, more than can be said of some fantasy authors.
#I knew vaguely that he was a member of the church of lds and was like... wary#but he seems to be taking the position that if mormonism is going to get less hostile to lgbtq+ people#that can only be accomplished by sincerely devout lgbtq+ allies staying in the church and making it a more inclusive and welcoming place#which I like... feel is misguided#but also I was not raised mormon and do not have a mormon spouse and family and I am not a sincere believer in the mormon faith#so it is very easy for me to say 'just don't be a mormon anymore'#he also says some stuff I feel is reeeally misguided about how it's good actually that dead people can be baptized mormon#and that mother theresa was good#and communism is bad#but like... I think he is a sincere and kind person who is trying his best#and I appreciate the honesty of him saying 'I believe these things and I won't pretend I don't'#I like when people don't humour me and really do try to be my ally instead of just repeating the party line so I don't think they're Bad#and given that his views on the queer community have evolved#I don't think it's impossible that he could realize a few years down the line that it is not okay to baptize the dead into your religion#but also as I said up top: brandon sanderson is a complete stranger to me and I should not devote this much time and mental energy#to trying to better understand his true characterâ values and beliefs#because that is not relevant to me or something I can ever know#@me just enjoy him being enthusiastic about writing fantasy novels on youtube in an unreflective and uncomplicated wayâ you big weirdo
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this is genuinely... so funny to me. like the hilarity of copypasting rational tweets. i'm literally right. it's not even a funny copypasta because it's literally just. objectively correct. it's a criticism of twitter culture and that makes it funny to you because...... god forbid you actually have empathy for other people. caring is for losers if you're on twitter dot com, you have to be snarky and funny at all times.
#moots & friends keep sending me shit and im just like. lmfao this is embarrassing for YOU guys. i stand by everything ive said actually.#i'm sorry you think trying to have a genuine conversation about harmful behaviours is cringe#you consider yourself an activist and will retweet every fucking post abt current events#but you can't actually be bothered to make a positive change in your own life.........#the fact that most of them stop responding after they realize im not going to freak out and give them something emotional is very telling#it's not even like most of them disagree they literally just want to make fun of me for...... caring. like ok. weird hill to die on idk#im at the point where im considering privating my tweets just so i dont continue to get ppl responding but#i think its important that ppl can see my responses. because i stand by them and clearly other ppl do too#theres been a lot of mixed responses but a lot of people have actually ended up agreeing with me after some back and forth#which i appreciate. i didnt want to start fuckin. twitter drama. but like. ill take it#i dont interact with sunnyblr at all so i think this is a good opportunity to potentially change at least a few ppls perspectives#and if youre too far gone to the point where you think that someone caring about perpetuating homophobic rhetoric is funny#i. dont really want to interact with you anyway lol. get better soon xoxo#last post about this on here im. putting this to rest.#ada speaks#genuinely disgusting how many of these ppl will say shit like. ppl are dying. like... yeah. what are YOU doing to help.#retweeting a donation link or someones random carrd doesnt do shit actually. performative armchair activism.#same ppl tweeting vapid shit while acting like theyre above engaging with me on this#i was venting about people qrting glenns old tweets with stupid shit because it was clogging my tl actually lol
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