#like I love the movie but any time I talk about it to someone it's just a bunch of sfdhdsghfgjhsdj
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please be gentle (when you’re tearing me apart)
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Eddie Munson x female! reader, Steve Harrington x reader
Main Masterlist
Eddie Munson Masterlist
Steve Harrington Masterlist
Summary:
You’re in love with Eddie, Eddie’s in love with someone else. Somehow, he accidentally ends up in a relationship with you anyway.
Warnings:
(18+), SERIOUS angst, there is only pain here, hurt/no comfort or hurt/a little comfort, cheating, pregnancy, pregnancy complications, birth/c section, Eddie is really out of character and is a total dick, Chrissy is out of character and she also sucks (sorry guys), smut, fingering, protected p in v, virgin!eddie, virgin!reader, really awkward first time!
Word Count: 14.6k
A/N:
WOW okay this was totally unexpected to write. The length especially. This is just something depressing for the anti-Valentine’s Day mood. I’ve been nervous to post so I hope you enjoy! Big giant thanks to @punkrockmlchael (who made my beautiful banner again and also beta read), @the-witty-pen-name , @fizzing-imagines, @losingmygrasponreality, @writhingg , and @lesservillain for bouncing ideas and beta reading! I couldn’t have written this without you. Also ignore that there’s only dividers for half the fic, apparently you can only add 10 images to a post 🙃
dividers by @/strangergraphics
Best friends.
That’s what you and Eddie were, and always had been. Growing up as neighbors in Forest Hills, you met when you were 8 and Eddie was 10, after he moved in with his uncle.
To be honest with yourself, you had had a crush on Eddie Munson since the first time you laid eyes on him. A silly childhood crush at first, he was so cute with his curls, short at the time, and it made your heart beat fast whenever you walked to the store together for snacks and he held your hand.
He would play you all kinds of music you’d never heard before, heavy stuff that was totally new to you. You weren’t sure about it at first, but you grew to love it. When he got into D&D, he would talk your ear off about his campaign plans for hours. You didn’t mind. You liked listening to him talk. When he started Hellfire, you were the first member to join. You didn’t know how to play an instrument, but you were Corroded Coffin’s biggest fan.
Eddie was everything to you. He was the first person you went to with any news, the only one you were excited to tell anything and everything to. He took you to see every new slasher movie, bought you your first dice set. He was the first thing you thought about in the morning and the last you thought of at night. At some point, it turned into more than a crush.
At some point, you fell in love.
Eddie was oblivious. He never dated in high school, but that didn’t seem to bother him. You didn’t, either, but it was mostly because you were so preoccupied with loving Eddie. You tried dropping hints, but he never seemed to figure it out. You were too scared to just get it over with and tell him outright.
So, you remained best friends. Just friends.
—
“Are you going to prom this year?” Wayne asked, sipping his beer as he sat relaxed in his recliner. Eddie nursed his own beer, feet up on the coffee table.
“Nah,” Eddie said. “You know that’s…not my thing.”
“You should go at least once,” Wayne said. “Might regret it.”
“I doubt it.”
“I had a great time at my senior prom,” Wayne reminisced, smiling at the memory. “You should give it a shot, Ed. Why don’t you take your little friend from next door?”
Eddie shook his head. “I don’t feel that way about her.”
“You can go as friends,” he pointed out. “I’m sure she’d like that. Girl adores you.”
“I’m pretty sure she has a crush on me,” Eddie winced, sipping his beer. “I don’t want to give her the wrong idea.”
“You don’t have to marry her, Ed. Just show her a good time. You two have been so close for so long, I’m sure she would understand.”
Eddie thought about it. He didn’t want to go to prom, like at all, but he wanted to make his uncle happy. And if he had to go with someone, it might as well be you, his only female friend, right?
So, he approached you at your locker the next day at school. “Hey.”
You turned to him, your face immediately lighting up with a huge smile. “Hey, Eds.”
“I, uh,” Eddie looked around awkwardly. “I just wanted to ask if you’d want to go to…prom with me?”
Your eyes went wide, but inside your heart was thundering out of your chest. Had Eddie really just asked you out? “Prom? Really? I thought you hated prom?”
“Yeah, well,” Eddie rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s my last senior year. Hopefully, at least. I figured I might as well give it a shot. We can pre game and sneak in some alcohol. And if it’s lame, we can ditch.”
You couldn’t wipe the huge smile off your face. You were almost a little concerned at how hard your heart was beating in that moment, like it would give out. “I’d love to go with you.”
Eddie gave you a soft smile. “Cool. I’ll pick you up at 6 that night.”
You watched as Eddie left, heading in the direction of his next class of the day. You waited until he was out of sight before you went sprinting in the direction of Robin’s locker.
You found her there, taking her books out. She startled when you ran up on her, placing her hand over her chest. “Jesus. What’s up with you?”
“Eddie just asked me to prom,” you blurted out. Robin’s jaw dropped open.
“No way!” She exclaimed, her look of shock turning to one of pure excitement. “This is huge. I always knew he was into you.”
You blushed. “I don’t know. I had given up hope of him liking me back. This was so out of the blue. I didn’t even think he wanted to go to prom at all.”
“Maybe he’s just better at hiding his feelings,” Robin offered. “Either way, we’re going dress shopping. Prom is only two weeks away!”
That weekend, Robin convinced her mom to drive the two of you to Indianapolis to go shopping in the big city. You were both giddy with excitement - Robin wasn’t much of a dress girl, and she didn’t have a date. The only person she wanted to take, she couldn’t ask. You were pretty sure Vickie was into girls and Robin in particular, but Robin was still too scared to make the move. You didn’t blame her. It wasn’t like typical rejection if things went wrong. So, instead, Robin was going with a group of girls from the marching band as friends.
Her mom took you to the huge mall, which was much more impressive than Starcourt. It was huge, with a ton of different stores. You made a stop at Camelot Music first, where Robin got a new Blondie tape and you grabbed the new The Smiths record and a Metallica Master of Puppets tape for Eddie, since his had recently broken.
Next was the formal wear store. You were both immediately overwhelmed when you walked in, the racks and racks of fancy dresses as far as the eye could see. All different colors, lengths, and styles. It was…a lot.
“Well…I guess let’s get started,” Robin said, her voice unsure.
You probably tried on 50 dresses each. You and Robin giggled as you tried on the dresses her mom picked for you, big floofy pink and blue monstrosities.
“You look like a marshmallow. Like a big pink marshmallow,” Robin had commented.
“Yeah?” You laughed, gesturing towards her powder blue gown. “Well, you look like a wedding cake.”
An hour and a half into dress shopping, you were both getting tired and totally over it. You had the last gown you’d picked out in your hand, and you told yourself if you hated this one, too, you’d just say fuck it and go to prom in your ripped jeans.
You pulled the dress over your head, smoothing it down your body. When you turned and looked into the mirror, you gasped. You actually looked…beautiful.
The dark purple dress hugged your curves, pushing your breasts up and making them look much sexier (and perkier) than they really were. The skirt fell above your knees, showing off your legs. You did a little twirl, the skirt swishing around your thighs. You loved it, it was by far the best one you’d tried on.
“Are you alive in there?” Robin called from outside the dressing room, and you smiled to yourself.
“I think we have a winner,” you called back.
“Ooh!” Robin said just as you moved the curtain and walked out. You saw Robin standing in a dark blue dress that looked beautiful on her, the skirt long but flattering.
“Oh my god,” she said. “You look stunning! Eddie is going to lose his mind.”
You blushed at the mention of Eddie. “You do too!” And she did. Finally, you had both found something.
After you left the dress shop with your bags in hand, you were both feeling much happier. You made a stop at Afterthoughts, where you found some earrings and a necklace to match your dress.
You couldn’t believe you were going to prom, and with Eddie. It was a dream come true.
You couldn’t wait.
—
Prom night, you were shaking as you got ready. The dress was just as beautiful as you remembered. The jewelry you had picked out matched your dress even better than you’d hoped.
Eddie picked you up right on time. He smiled at you awkwardly when he picked you up, holding a corsage in his hand. “Hey.”
You beamed at him. “Hi. Is…that for me?”
“Oh, yeah.” He looked at it like he had forgotten he had it. “You look pretty,” he told you as he slipped the corsage onto your wrist. You blushed as you pinned the boutonnière to his black suit jacket.
“You look handsome yourself,” you told him shyly.
Eddie drove the two of you to the school. The parking lot was packed with students’ cars and even a few rented limousines. Just as you were about to get out of the van, Eddie stopped you. He reached into his glove compartment and pulled out two black flasks, handing one to you.
“This should make this night a lot more fun, yeah?” He smirked. You smiled back, before making a face as you took a sip of the burning liquid. Eddie laughed, which made you start giggling, too.
You took a photo together at the booth near the gym doors, which Eddie wasn’t super excited about. The next thing he did was head for the food, piling a tiny plate full of appetizers. You followed him, grabbing a cup of punch to help wash down the liquor in your purse.
Eddie wouldn’t dance with you until after he’d finished his flask, claiming it was stupid and he wouldn’t be caught dead dancing at prom. But by the time he finished it, he had enough of a buzz that he didn’t care. You were tipsy, too, and absolutely elated when he stood and took your hand, leading you to the floor just as a slow song came on.
Eddie playfully groaned, rolling his eyes, but he pulled you close to his body anyway. Butterflies took flight in your stomach as he placed his hands on your hips and you wrapped yours around his neck. The two of you swayed together in time to the music. You could not stop smiling. You laid your head on Eddie’s chest, tuning out the music as you listened to his heartbeat.
After prom, you headed back to the van. You’d had the best night of your life, one you would never forget. Yeah, you were both a little bit intoxicated, but you were floating on the clouds for a whole different reason.
“D’you want to come back to my place?” Eddie asked as he started the engine. “We could drink a little more, smoke a joint. Wayne’s working.”
You wanted nothing more. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
At the trailer, Eddie rolled up a thick joint as you gathered the bottles of liquor and shot glasses from the cabinet. Eddie was back in normal clothes, and you’d changed into one of Eddie’s shirts and a pair of his sweatpants that were too big on you.
Eddie sparked up the joint as you poured each of you two shots of tequila. You clinked your glasses together before downing them both. Eddie took the first drag on the joint, his eyes falling closed as he inhaled the thick smoke. He looked gorgeous like this, curls still tamed and framing his face. The smoke escaped through his perfect lips, trailing up and throughout the bedroom. He handed the joint to you, and you gratefully took it, bringing it to your painted lips. Some of your lipstick had rubbed off on the shot glasses, leaving a stain.
As the night went on, the two of you got progressively more drunk and high. By the time it was 2am, the two of you were giggling messes, listening to music over the stereo and talking about the latest campaign. Suddenly, in your drunkenly stoned haze, you remembered the gift stashed in your purse.
“Oh!” You exclaimed, jumping up to grab your small bag. “I forgot. I got you something.”
“You got me something?” Eddie asked, confused, his words slightly slurring together.
You reached into the purse and pulled out the bag from Camelot. You hoped he loved it, because now that it was in your hands, you were suddenly nervous. You turned, smiling softly as you handed Eddie the bag. “I just saw it while I was at the mall with Robin and I thought of you.”
Eddie raised his eyebrows at you as he took the bag. He reached inside and pulled out the Metallica tape, a huge grin spreading across his face immediately. “Shit! You didn’t have to do this. But it’s fuckin’ awesome you did.”
You giggled, flopping back onto the bed next to him. You laid with your head on his pillow, smiling up at Eddie from where he sat next to you. “I’m glad you like it. I know yours broke. Probably because you play it all the time.”
Eddie poked you in the side, making you laugh harder. “Shut up, Freak. You love Master of Puppets just as much as I do.”
“That’s true,” you conceded. You looked up at him, his chocolate brown eyes gazing down at you. They sparkled, like his personality was shining its way through. He had a strong nose, kissable lips. God, you wanted to kiss those lips.
Eddie had never realized how pretty you were. He always just saw you as his long time best friend, the girl who definitely crushed on him but he never saw that way. He still didn’t think he had feelings for you, but…you were pretty.
“Have you ever kissed a guy before?” He asked, pushing a section of hair off your shoulder.
You blushed at the question. You didn’t have much experience, your love life was nonexistent. But you had kissed someone, at least. “Yeah. Tommy Hagan in 7th grade.”
Eddie’s eyes went wide. “Tommy Hagan? That dickhead? You never told me that.”
You shrugged, your cheeks red and hot. “It didn’t mean anything. I got invited to Heather Holloway’s birthday party and he was there. We all played spin the bottle. It only lasted two seconds and we never really talked again.” Eddie hummed. “What about you?”
It was Eddie’s turn to look sheepish. “Uh, yeah. A girl at school, Chrissy, in 8th grade. We didn’t date or anything.”
Now it was your turn to be shocked. “Chrissy Cunningham? You didn’t tell me that, either!” He had never mentioned her. You knew it was stupid, but you were struck with jealousy at his words.
“It was nothing,” he said, brushing it off.
“Look at us,” you laughed. “18 and almost 20, and we’re still a couple of virgins.”
Eddie looked down at you, something unfamiliar swimming behind his eyes. He had never wanted to kiss you before this moment, but now... “I mean, we can change that.”
Your heart stopped in your chest. “What do you mean?”
Eddie thought about it for a moment. This could be a point of no return, a step in a direction he didn’t want to take. But in his drunk and high mind…he wanted it. He wanted you.
He leaned forward slowly, so slowly. Your breath hitched in your throat right before his lips pressed against yours. They were just as soft as you always dreamed they were, and your mind went even more hazy from his kisses.
Neither of you were experienced at all and you were both pretty intoxicated, so the kiss was a little awkward and desperate. All tongues and teeth clashing together, hungry for one another. Eddie’s hand slid beneath your t-shirt - his Hellfire shirt - trailing up your smooth skin until he reached your breasts. You hadn’t worn a bra with your dress, so you were bare chested beneath the thin shirt. His calloused fingers delicately grazed your nipples, making you shiver. You’d never been touched there before, never felt anything like this. Being touched by Eddie was so much different than being touched by your own hand.
“I love your tits,” Eddie mumbled against your lips between kisses. You hummed, arching your back into his touch.
“Feels good, Ed,” you moaned quietly, body turning into pure electricity under his wandering touch. Your own hand tangled in the curls at the back of his neck, loving the way your bodies molded together, the feeling of his body finally pressed up against your own.
“Yeah?” He squeezed your breast one more time before his hand moved to your back, sliding down your body until he grabbed your ass, pulling you into him. You gasped, feeling how hard he was through his own sweatpants. “You feel how hard I am?”
“Yeah,” you whispered back. You moved your hand to his chest, sliding it down his body until you reached the tent in his pants. He groaned as you felt him, squeezing his cock through the material.
Eddie sat up, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it somewhere on the floor. You eyed his bare chest, the tattoos adorning his pale skin. You traced a finger over the design on the left side of his chest. God, he was so hot.
His hands slid up your shirt, pulling it up and off. His gaze dropped straight to your tits, he was practically drooling. He reached for the waistband of your sweatpants next, pulling them down your body slowly, leaving you in nothing but your panties. You were grateful you picked something pretty, red and lace.
“So sexy,” Eddie moaned. He leaned forward and kissed your stomach, which startled you a little. He trailed kisses up your body until he reached your breasts, where he ran his tongue over one of your nipples before wrapping his lips around it. You moaned as you arched into his touch, his mouth, whatever he would give you.
His hand slid down your body slowly, slowly, until it reached your panties. He slipped beneath them, fingers dipping between your folds. He could feel how insanely wet you were, and it only made his cock harder.
“So wet for me,” he said. “Bet you can’t wait for my cock.”
You whimpered as he pressed a finger against your entrance. Slowly, carefully he pushed it inside, stretching you for the first time. You gasped at the intrusion, but the pain faded quickly. Eddie slowly pumped his long finger in and out of your pussy, pressing against something deep inside that felt incredible as he curled his finger against it. He added a second finger shortly after, and the stretch was more intense, but from the feeling of the size of his cock in your hand, you knew it wouldn’t even be comparable.
Eddie fingered you a little longer, getting you nice and wet and ready for him, before he removed his hand and slipped your panties off. Now bare before him, he drank you in with his hungry eyes. His cock twitched in his pants.
You helped him push them down his hips, and he kicked them off onto the floor. He didn’t have boxers on underneath, and his dick was so much more impressive once fully revealed. It was big enough that it made you feel scared even through your mind haze.
“You can take it,” he assured you, his words still slightly slurred. “I know you can.”
He reached over you into the bedside table and pulled out an unopened box of condoms. “Finally get to use these,” he laughed, taking one out of the box and ripping it open. You watched as he slid the rubber over his hard cock, tip red and glistening. You wished you could have had a taste.
Eddie got in between your legs, kissing all over your neck before meeting your lips again. His tongue pressed into your mouth immediately, attempting to distract you from the pain where he was lining himself up and slowly beginning to push inside.
You whined as he began to fill you, inch by thick inch. When he was fully seated inside he pulled back and snapped his hips back into you, making you gasp. He set a quick pace, desperately rutting into you as he chased his pleasure, his drunken rhythm sloppy and uneven.
You held onto him tightly as he fucked into you, and he groaned into your neck where he had his face buried. “Feels so good,” he moaned, not exactly caring how you felt, only worried about his own quickly impending orgasm. It was his first time and he was not going to last.
“Eddie,” you whined, “you’re so big.”
He groaned at that. “Yeah, baby? You like it?”
“Mmhmm,” you moaned, and it did feel good, but he was also splitting you in half.
“Fuck,” he hissed, “I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna fucking cum.”
He pumped into you just a couple more times before he was stilling, buried to the hilt inside you as he filled the condom. He moaned loudly, body trembling on top of you as he rode out his orgasm. You didn’t get to cum, but you were too drunk to care.
Eddie pulled out, removing the condom and tying it off before tossing it into the trash can. He collapsed onto the bed next to you, his naked body sweaty, chest heaving.
“That was…good,” you said, not knowing if it was or not. You were happy to have lost your virginity to Eddie, and the whole night had been a dream. But he hadn’t exactly cared about your pleasure. You waited for Eddie to reply, to say anything, but nothing came.
He was already snoring.
—
The unbearably bright light shining through the window around his curtains is the first thing Eddie experienced the next morning. It woke him up, but he only squeezed his eyes shut tighter, groaning as the light made his pounding headache infinitely worse. Fuck, he drank way too much last night.
He barely even remembered it. He remembered the prom, he remembered drinking a lot, doing shots, and smoking a joint. He remembered you, but his memory was hazy. How did you get home anyway? He didn’t remember driving you home after prom.
Eddie stretched, his muscles stiff. He was naked beneath his blanket, which wasn’t entirely unusual. He probably just didn’t feel like changing once he got his suit off.
Eventually he figured he should get out of bed. He rolled over and stood with another old man groan. Fuck, he had to cut back on the drinking, because he definitely felt a lot older than 19 right now.
He pulled on some boxers and a pair of sweatpants he found on the floor, remaining shirtless. Wayne would be passed out in his own bedroom after a long night of work at the plant. But Eddie was starving, and he needed something for that headache.
When he stepped out of the room, the first thing he noticed was the smell. Something delicious was wafting from the kitchen, the smell of bacon overpowering some other food scents. That was weird. Wayne didn’t cook breakfast, not the morning after a work night. He walked down the hall cautiously, brows furrowed as he neared the end of the hallway. He turned the corner, and froze.
You were there in the kitchen, expertly flipping a pancake in a pan. A plate sat on the counter next to you filled with bacon, and another pan on the next burner was cooking scrambled eggs. Oh, and you were dressed in nothing but Eddie’s oversized t-shirt and your underwear.
Oh shit, Eddie thought. What the fuck did I do?
The floor creaked as he stepped into the kitchen, and you turned around, a smile spreading across your lips at the sight of him. “Hey, sleepyhead. I made us some breakfast. Thought you could use something on your stomach.”
Eddie didn’t know what to say or do. Did he sleep with you? Oh god. He was going to be sick. “Uh, good morning. You, uh, didn’t have to do all this.”
He watched as you plated the finished pancakes and eggs. “I thought we could both use a big breakfast after last night,” you said, giving him a smirk. Oh, shit. He did sleep with you last night. He drunkenly lost his virginity after prom, to you.
Fuck. He was a fucking idiot.
You started making plates for the both of you. “I set out a water bottle and some Tylenol for you over there,” you said, nodding to the corner of the counter. Eddie took the medicine immediately, desperate for some relief from his unbearable headache. Now he wasn’t sure what was making it worse, the hangover or the knowledge of what he’d done.
He sat down across from you at the small table. He didn’t know what to say. Your friendship would never be the same after this. He knew you liked him, he didn’t like you, then he slept with you. Now he had to crush your heart. He really felt like he was going to be sick.
“Did you sleep okay?” You finally asked as the two of you ate, breaking the silence.
“Huh?” Eddie snapped back to reality. “Oh. Yeah.”
You smiled softly at him. You figured he was just still cloudy from the weed. “I had a good time last night.”
“Yeah…” Eddie said. “Me too.”
Your face lit up at that, and he could have slapped himself. He didn’t mean that. He didn’t even remember the sex. He was not doing a good job of not leading you on. “Listen,” he said, “about that-“
“It was really good,” you said. Eddie’s watched as your cheeks turned red and you looked down at your plate. “Sorry. I just meant…I enjoyed it. Being with you.”
Eddie had suspected, known even, that you had a crush on him, but this was the first time you’d ever admitted it out loud. Eddie was really going to have to stomp on your heart to put an end to those thoughts, and it was all his fault. He never should have brought you home after prom. “Look, I-“
“I didn’t think you liked me back,” you continued, rambling nervously, excitedly. “I…to be honest with you I’ve had a crush on you for years, but I was always too scared to tell you. But you never seemed like you were into me…until last night.” You giggled, covering your mouth. “I can’t believe we’re together now.”
Together?
Oh, fuck. He couldn’t do this. He could not do this. He couldn’t crush your spirit, wipe that elated smile off your face. He’d never seen you look so happy. He felt like the biggest asshole.
“Oh, yeah,” he said instead. “Um, me either.”
“I can’t wait to tell Robin,” you continued. “She’s going to freak.”
—
Eddie couldn’t believe he had gotten himself into this situation.
Sure, you were his best friend so he liked your personality, and it’s not like you weren’t cute, but he just didn’t have feelings for you in the way you did for him. But now he had slept with you and you thought he liked you back. He had somehow, some way, become your actual boyfriend.
“I thought you didn’t like her like that?” Gareth asked the next school day after prom at lunch. You were sitting with Robin today. You often bounced between the marching band table and the Hellfire table.
“I don’t,” Eddie said simply.
Gareth, Jeff, and Grant looked at him like he was crazy. “Then how…why…?”
Eddie slammed his hand on the table. “Stop grilling me, okay?”
“Someone’s cranky,” Jeff muttered, turning back to his lunch tray in front of him.
“Yeah, you’re in a pretty shitty mood to be the only one of us to lose his virginity and get a girlfriend,” Grant commented. Gareth and Jeff agreed, nodding along.
“Yeah, well,” Eddie muttered. “Would be nice if it was with someone I’m actually into.”
“Harsh,” Gareth tsked. “You should be honest with her. You’re just leading her on.”
“I can’t.” Eddie buried his face in his hands, exasperated and stressed. “It’s gone too far. She thinks I’m her boyfriend. She thinks I like her back. I can’t crush her like that.”
The other three boys exchanged a look. “So…you’re just gonna marry her?” Grant asked.
Eddie froze. That is where this would eventually lead if he didn’t turn it around. But he was scared. He couldn’t bring himself to burst your bubble. “I’ll figure something out.”
As lunch was ending, Eddie jolted when you came up behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Hey, babe,” you giggled. “How was lunch?”
“Good,” Eddie said, giving each Hellfire boy a look that said don’t say or do a damn thing.
“You guys are so cute,” Robin said, holding her hands over her chest as she tilted her head to the side with a smile. “I’m so happy you’re finally together.”
Eddie felt sick. Just like he had all weekend, since the morning after prom. “Yeah,” he said. “I’m a lucky guy.”
Your whole face lit up with a smile. “I was thinking maybe we could hang out after school. Do our homework and work on the Curse of Vecna.”
Eddie groaned internally. This was such a disaster. “Sure.”
That day after school Eddie drove you back to his place. He reluctantly did his homework with you, mostly copying your answers rather than actually learning anything. Then the two of you laid on his bed and made out.
Hey, if he was going to be stuck in this relationship with someone he didn’t actually care for, the least he could do was take advantage of the benefits.
—
You spent four years with Eddie before you started noticing something was off.
It was the scent you started noticing on his clothes at first, like flowers and vanilla. You lifted his shirt from the laundry, the unexpected smell hitting you. You didn’t own anything that smelled like this, and Eddie certainly didn’t. You knew the smell of his cheap cologne better than anything, the amount of times you’d laid your head on his chest and smelled that distinctly Eddie scent. Something was wrong.
When you confronted him about it, he brushed it off. “It’s this new girl at work. Her perfume is so strong, everyone smells like it.”
You accepted the answer for the time being. But then there were other things you began to notice. A scrunchie that definitely didn’t belong to you on the floor of the passenger side of his van. A condom wrapper in the bathroom trash after you’d been out of town for the weekend. And finally, a pair of pink panties stuffed into the back pocket of his jeans that were so clearly not yours it was nearly comical if it hadn’t made you want to die.
When you confronted him about it the next time, it was with tears in your eyes and a lump in your throat. “Eddie,” you said, your voice cracking as you tossed the panties onto the floor in front of where he sat on the couch. “What are these?”
Eddie knew he had been caught. There was no getting out of it this time. You didn’t own any underwear like that, and it was the wrong size. How could he have been so stupid to have kept the panties? “I…”
“Really?” You sobbed. “You have nothing to say?”
“I’m not sure what you want me to say.” Eddie looked down at his hands. “Yeah, I’ve been sleeping with someone else.”
Even though you already knew his words were true, they still hit you right in the heart. You could feel it cracking, could feel the fault lines forming, the blood and life seeping out of it. “With who?” You asked, barely audible. You weren’t sure if you wanted the answer, but you needed it.
“That’s not important-“
“It is important,” you said. “It’s important to me.”
Eddie didn’t respond at first. He didn’t want to respond. “Chrissy Cunningham,” he answered reluctantly at last. “But don’t pull her into this, she doesn’t deserve to be-“
“Chrissy Cunningham?” You scoffed. “Eddie, we’ve been together for four years. Chrissy knows we’re together. So she was just fine sleeping with a guy she knew was taken?” You laughed humorlessly through the tears. “Wow. You guys are perfect for each other, then.”
Eddie shook his head. “Don’t do that, man, she-“
“‘Man’?” You couldn’t believe the conversation you were having. “Wow, I sure got demoted from baby fast, huh?”
He rubbed his hands over his face. “Please. I don’t wanna do this. I don’t feel like doing this.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t have cheated!” You yelled back. “Why would you do this? How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me.”
Eddie mumbled something under his breath, something you couldn’t catch.
“What?” You asked. “I can’t hear you. Just fucking tell me. Why would you do this to me?”
When Eddie looked up at you, his eyes were full of anger, flames flickering behind his normally sweet doe eyes. The ones you had gazed into, taken comfort in so many times. When he opened his mouth, nothing but poison seeped out.
“Because I never loved you!” Eddie yelled, hands running through his hair to the point he was practically pulling it out. You had never seen him so upset. “Fuck! I went out with you because we were friends and I felt bad, and by the time we’d been together for months it was too late. I never liked you back like that. That’s the truth, finally.”
His words hit you like a shot to the chest. You stared at him with your lips parted, staggering gasps being dragged into your lungs. You shook uncontrollably as if it were suddenly freezing. But the tears didn’t yet fall. You felt like you might be in shock. “How…”
“How did I pretend to be in love with you?” He scoffed. “I didn’t do a very good job of it, but it doesn’t seem like you ever noticed. You were so blinded by who you wanted me to be, you couldn’t see what was right in front of you. Hey, as long as I came home and fucked you before passing out next to you, you just took it.” He laughed, a cruel, sinister laugh. “You just let me treat you like shit. Like you have no respect for yourself, or were just that obsessed with me.”
You didn’t even know who this was in front of you right now. This person who looked like Eddie, sounded like Eddie, but was spewing such horrible, hurtful words that Eddie never would. You didn’t recognize him at all. You wanted to blame his words on his heightened emotions, but you could tell everything he said was true. Especially with the cheating to back it up.
That’s not how you treated someone you cared about.
“So you just led me on for four years instead of telling me?” You asked. There was no fight behind your voice like there was in his. Only hurt and defeat. “Eddie…even before all this, you were my best friend. How could you do this to me?”
He didn’t have an answer for that. Because he was a selfish idiot coward? That was the truth. “Look, me and Chrissy- it just happened. It wasn’t supposed to, but it did. She came in to the Hideout, we got to talking-“
“And you fucked her?” You finished for him.
He just looked at you. “Yeah.”
The truth was, Eddie felt bad. He knew he had fucked up astronomically bad. He had led you on, used your body, betrayed you. Wasted four years of your life. He knew you thought he was the one, he knew you were waiting for a proposal that was never going to come. It was his fault things had gotten this far.
Maybe he thought he could fake it ‘til he made it. Maybe he thought if he pretended to be into you, eventually he would be. But that never happened.
And now you were crying, hard. His chest ached for some reason, even though he had no right to hurt for what he had done to you. He deserved to feel like shit.
He wasn’t prepared for the next words that came out of your mouth.
“I’m pregnant, Eddie,” you said, eyes squeezed shut as if that would stop the torrent of tears currently streaming down your face. There was no response. You had to force yourself to open your eyes and look, wondering if he was even still there.
He was. He stared at you, brown eyes wide, mouth hanging slightly open. “You’re- no.”
“I am,” you said, voice hoarse from crying. “I…”
Eddie shook his head. “No. No, no, no. This is not happening. It’s not fucking happening.”
You only cried harder. The pregnancy hormones had nothing to do with this; this was pure devastation, pure heartbreak. Your heart felt like it had crumbled in your chest and there was nothing left to repair even if you could.
“Let me see the test,” he said, holding a hand out.
“Why would I lie?” You asked, voice weak. You were so emotionally worn out, you felt like you could sleep for weeks. Months. Years. You wanted to.
“Because you want me to stay with you?” He scoffed. “Look, I’m not saying you’re lying, but I want to see to be sure.”
You just stared at him. Finally, you said “Fine,” going into your shared bedroom and coming out with a piece of paper with your office visit report. “I went to the doctor. Here.”
Eddie took the paper from your hands, examining it carefully. Sure enough, under “Reason for Visit/Diagnosis”, it said “Pregnancy - 8 weeks”.
“Christ,” Eddie said. He rubbed his hands over his face, like he was trying to erase the information from his brain. He was panicked. He couldn’t be a dad. Not right now, maybe not ever. He didn’t even know if he wanted kids. And with you? His soon to be ex girlfriend who he had treated like shit and didn’t love? “I mean fuck, man. What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know,” you said. Your voice was small, like all the fight had left you.
Eddie felt like he had ruined his life. For one thing, you were both still so young. That was without even mentioning the mess of a ‘relationship’ he had gotten himself involved in, the fact that it would never work out even if he wanted it to because he didn’t have feelings for you, and now he was standing here crushing his pregnant girlfriend’s heart. Like an asshole.
He was an asshole, and he knew it.
“Look,” he said finally. “If there’s really a kid-“
“There is.”
Eddie continued. “I’m not gonna abandon it. I’ll…be here. I’ll pay child support, I want to share custody, I want to be involved.”
You nodded. At least there was that, you supposed. As heart broken as you were, as much as you felt like going to sleep and never waking up again, you couldn’t bear the thought of Eddie leaving both of you. This baby deserved better.
“Look, I…I need some time. I’m gonna go stay with Wayne for a little while. Until I can get my own place.” Eddie looked at you with pity now, the news of the pregnancy dousing the fire of his earlier cruelty. “You can keep the apartment. We’ve got the guest room for the baby, unless you decide to move out.”
You just nodded again. “Okay, Eddie.”
The two of you looked at each other. This wasn’t just the end of your apparent farce of a relationship, but also of your nearly lifelong friendship. Things between you and Eddie would never be the same again. He had taken your heart you gave to him and stomped on it, spit on it.
That was the thing you couldn’t get past. He hadn’t just rejected you, he had destroyed you. The cheating, the lying. Playing you like a fucking game. Like you meant nothing not just to him, but at all. You didn’t know how you’d ever learn to trust again, or if you even wanted to. Eddie slept on the couch that night, too late at night to drive to Wayne’s.
When you woke up the next morning, he was gone.
—
Your pregnancy was difficult. You had severe morning sickness in the beginning - hyperemesis gravidarum, your doctor called it. You struggled to keep any food down, and ended up hospitalized for fluids multiple times. Your doctor was concerned and considered you a high risk pregnancy. You went from monthly doctor visits to weekly. You felt pretty sure your emotional devastation wasn’t helping your physical health whatsoever.
Eddie was helpful, at least. He called you every couple of days to see how you were doing and if you needed anything. He remembered your appointment days and called to ask what the doctor said. He shopped for your groceries for you and dropped them off at the house. It would have felt nice, if you didn’t know he was only doing it for the baby and not you, and if you didn’t know he was still sleeping with Chrissy.
You went through most of the pregnancy alone. At 16 weeks, you noticed a bump for the first time, standing in front of your full length mirror as you got ready for work. It took you by surprise, this little baby bump that seemed to have popped up overnight. You ran your hand over the skin there, surprised by how firm it felt. There was really a little baby in there.
You had an ultrasound that afternoon. You were thrilled to see the baby, one of the only things you looked forward to anymore. The technician showed you your baby, thriving and wiggling around in there. It made your heart swell. She measured the heartbeat and played it out loud, the little whoosh whoosh whoosh comforting.
Eddie came to the apartment that evening to bring you the baby swing he had bought. You were in the kitchen cooking yourself chicken alfredo for dinner, wearing a thin tank top and your short sleep shorts. Eddie let himself in, since he still had a key in case of emergencies. You weren’t surprised to hear him coming in since he’d told you he’d be over.
You heard his footsteps heading into the kitchen, then - “Woah.”
You turned from where you’d been stirring the sauce, raising an eyebrow at him. “What?”
He gestured towards your stomach. “You, uh…your…”
You laughed lightly. “The bump? Yeah, that’s new.”
Eddie walked over towards you, leaning against the counter next to the stove. He didn’t know how to feel about it. It was strange to see, and it made him feel weird in his chest. Something he’d never felt before. “It’s…it’s cute. You look cute.”
You laughed again. “I’m about to get a lot bigger.”
The two of you stood in silence for a minute. Then, finally, Eddie worked up the courage to ask - “Can I…can I feel?”
You were surprised by the question. Sure, Eddie had been pretty devoted to this baby during the pregnancy, but it still caught you off guard. “Oh. Sure.”
You turned and he walked up to you cautiously. He raised his hands, slowly moving them towards you as he looked up at you for confirmation it was still okay. Finally he placed his hands on your belly, feeling the firm bump beneath his hands. It was real. He knew it was real, but now it was real.
“Wow,” he said after a minute. “That’s…wow.” He gently rubbed the bump, in shock that that was his child beneath his hand.
“I got an ultrasound today,” you said. “Want to see?”
“Of course,” he answered immediately. He watched as you headed into the living room, already developing the slightest little waddle. He couldn’t help but smile.
You pulled the printed photos from your purse, bringing them over. Eddie gently took them from your hands. “Holy shit!” He said, laughing as he closely examined the photos. “It really looks like a little baby now instead of a blob.”
“Yeah,” you agreed with a smile. “They said we’d find out if it’s a boy or a girl at the next one. At 20 weeks.”
Eddie’s eyes darted up to you. “Really? Can I…go?”
You raised your eyebrows. “Really? You want to come with me to the appointment?”
“Yeah, of course. I want to know what we’re having. I want to be there myself.”
You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about it. “How will Chrissy feel about that?”
Eddie’s expression hardened for the first time since he’d come over. “I can do whatever I want. And we’re not talking about her right now.”
You rolled your eyes, heading back into the kitchen to tend to your dinner. “I guess you can come, Eddie. It’s your baby too. But don’t bring her.”
“I’m not,” he assured you. You thought he’d have to be a fucking idiot to bring her, anyway. “I just want to be there.”
You felt like you couldn’t take that from him. If he wanted to be an involved father, he could. You encouraged that, in fact. This baby didn’t deserve to be born into the mess that was your relationship, or what used to be your relationship. Your issues with Eddie needed to be put aside for the sake of your child.
So, four weeks later, you waddled your 20 week pregnant self down the stairs of your apartment complex and into Eddie’s van where he sat idling, waiting to pick you up. He helped you climb in, and you waved him off when he tried to buckle you up. “I’ve got it, Eddie. I’m not totally helpless.”
“I know,” he said, “I just want to help.”
You rode to the doctor’s office without speaking, the only sounds being the heavy music playing over the stereo. You couldn’t stand it. Since the break up, you couldn’t listen to Eddie’s music anymore. Too many memories, too many associations.
When he pulled up at the office, he hopped out quickly to run around and offer you a hand as you carefully climbed down. The bump was significantly bigger already, it was in the way and threw off your center of balance. And Eddie was not about to let you fall and hurt yourself and the baby.
You had grown to know the staff at the office since you were there so often. They greeted you by name the second you walked in, looking pleased to see you. In the exam room, Eddie sat in the visitor’s chair, looking as awkward as he felt.
When the tech walked in, she barely managed to contain the surprise on her face to see Eddie with you. You had been to every appointment alone, and they knew you weren’t together with the father. But she quickly plastered a smile to her face, walking over to you.
“Are you excited?” She asked you. “It’s a big day!”
“So excited,” you giggled. “I’m ready to know.”
You laid back and lifted your shirt up and she squirted the cold gel onto your belly, your least favorite part. She placed the wand on your stomach and began moving it around. There was a screen only she could see, and a bigger screen facing you and Eddie that showed the baby.
The little wiggling baby popped up on the screen, moving all around. You smiled, relieved to see the little guy or girl was doing well. You always worried between ultrasounds that something would happen.
The two of you watched as the tech examined and measured the various body parts, making notes in your chart as she performed the exam. Then, finally, it was time.
“Okay,” she said. “Everything looks great! Do you want to know what you’re having?”
“Yes,” you and Eddie answered immediately at the same exact time. You glanced at each other, laughing lightly.
You were nervous. You weren’t sure why. You really didn’t have a preference for the baby’s sex, but this was a huge deal. This made it real, really real. The baby was about to go from “the baby” to your son or daughter. They would have a name, you would be able to shop more. This was a huge moment, and your heart thumped hard in your chest.
She moved the wand a little, looking where she needed to look. She smiled - “It’s a healthy baby girl.”
You choked out a light sob, hands moving up to cover your mouth. You couldn’t believe it. A baby girl, a daughter. Your daughter. Thoughts flashed through your mind of pink little dresses, playing dolls, dance recitals and late night dance parties. Or maybe she would be more of a tomboy, playing sports and getting dirty. You would love her no matter who she turned out to be.
Eddie stared at the screen in awe. A daughter. He was having a daughter. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t have a preference for the gender either, but hearing it was a girl, it just felt right. Like this was the child he was meant to have, this was the perfect outcome. His body overflowed with the love he felt for this tiny person already. He nearly reached over and grabbed your hand, but thought better of it. It wasn’t his hand to hold anymore.
You left the appointment in high spirits with a stack of ultrasound photos in your hand. You kept looking them over, amazed at how much the baby looked like a baby. Just as you were about to get back in the van, you felt something move that made you gasp and nearly drop your bag.
“What??” Eddie asked, immediately by your side. “Are you okay? Is it the baby?”
You looked up at him wide eyed. “I…” You were about to say something else when you felt the movement again. You quickly grabbed Eddie’s hand and placed it on your stomach, right where you felt it.
He looked at you strangely, but kept his hand there. Then, a second later - another kick, right where Eddie’s hand lay.
“Holy shit!” He exclaimed, jerking his hand back out of instinct before putting it back. “Did she just kick?”
“I think so,” you said, an incredulous giggle in your voice.
“She’s strong,” Eddie commented with a smile. He gently rubbed his hand over the bump. “My girl. Gonna be a soccer player or something. Or just kick some serious ass.”
You laughed, your hand resting next to Eddie’s. “This has been the best day I’ve had in months.”
Eddie felt a pang of guilt at that. He knew he was the reason for your sadness, for your pain. And now here you were, giving him the greatest gift he could dream of, even if it’s one he didn’t expect. He couldn’t wait for this baby to be here.
Robin threw you a baby shower when you were 33 weeks pregnant. You were huge and uncomfortable, and still mentally a disaster. But Robin had put in so much work you were at least going to make an attempt to enjoy yourself.
She had taken you shopping for a dress, and you’d landed on a long, light pink one with a hem right beneath your breasts, the rest of the dress draped over your belly. It made you feel pretty, even if gigantic.
When you and Robin walked in, the party was already underway, your friends, family, and acquaintances mingling around, eating from the buffet table. There was a table surrounded and piled high with gifts, a rocking chair with a bow on it sitting next to it.
“Oh my god, Robs,” you said, tears springing to your eyes. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“Of course I did,” she said, nudging your arm. “You deserve it, babes. You and her both.” She placed a hand over your belly, making you smile. “You’ve been put through hell this pregnancy, the least I can do is give you a good party.”
Robin led you over to the buffet table, where Steve Harrington was standing. You furrowed your brows at your best friend as you walked, and she gave you a sheepish smile and shrug.
“He’s different now,” she said. You couldn’t believe your ears. “He’s not King Steve anymore. And he helped me out a ton with this party. He’s kind of a dingus, but he’s cool.”
Steve gave you a kind smile as you approached. “Hey,” he said once you’d both reached him, standing up straight. “Congratulations. You look beautiful.”
You blushed, because you certainly didn’t expect him to say that. “I’m huge,” you said.
Steve chuckled. “Well, you’re growing a whole human. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s hard work.”
You were completely shocked that Steve was being so nice to you. He had never been mean to you, but he definitely saw you and Eddie as Freaks in high school, and never gave you or Robin the time of day. He really did seem different.
“Come on,” Robin said, pulling gently on your arm. “Let’s get you and that baby something to eat. It’s gonna be a great party.”
And it was a good party. You were having a good time talking with your guests, everyone wanting to feel the baby and asking you questions. The food was good, too, you thought as you filled your third plate in 30 minutes. You were having a good time.
That is, until the door opened and two guests walked in late.
Eddie walked in, looking awkward, a gift bag in hand. He knew a good number of the people in attendance hated him, and for good reason. The fact that Eddie showed up to your party wasn’t the bad part. You were on okay terms. It was the fact that he walked in, hand in hand with Chrissy Cunningham.
Your heart stopped in your chest. You hated that you still weren’t over Eddie, but it was the truth. You felt like you would throw up at the sight.
“Oh, fuck no,” Robin muttered under her breath from next to you, before she stood tall and started walking over to them with purpose.
“Robs, wait!” You called, following after her, but Robin’s long strides were much faster than your 8 month pregnant waddle. Robin was already there when you reached the three, her finger pointed in Eddie’s face.
“And what do you think gives you the right to come marching into her party with your little girlfriend?” She was yelling, fury in her eyes like you’d never seen. “What the fuck is wrong with you??”
“Robin-“ you started, but she wasn’t even hearing you.
“You are the scum of the fucking earth,” she said to Eddie. “You don’t belong here. You don’t belong outside enjoying the day. You belong in a cave.”
Eddie was looking at her with an irritated expression on his face. Chrissy stood next to him, her big eyes wide as she held onto his arm. It made you feel so much worse.
“This is my daughter’s baby shower,” he said. “I have a right to be here.”
“No, this is her shower.” Robin gestured towards where you stood slightly behind her without even turning around. “This is for her. She has been through hell, and it’s entirely your fault. The only thing you did besides ruin her life is put the damn baby in her. Good job, Eddie!”
Eddie scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Down, guard dog, this has nothing to do with you. Get out of my face. I’m here to celebrate my daughter. Not yours.”
“And you had to bring your skank with you?”
Both you and Chrissy gasped. You had never heard her speak that way before. Eddie’s eyes darkened. “Don’t talk about her like that. She has nothing to do with this.”
“She slept with you multiple times while knowing you were in a relationship. So yeah, she’s a skank, and you’re a slut too. I guess you guys are made for each other.”
“Babe, why don’t we just go-“ Chrissy said softly.
“Babe,” Robin mocked. “How cute.”
“I’m not leaving,” Eddie said, looking from Chrissy to Robin, and finally to you. “I deserve to be here. So get over yourself.”
“I think you should leave, Eddie.”
You turned as you all looked behind you, where Steve had walked up. His expression was serious, and Eddie narrowed his eyes at him.
“This doesn’t concern you, Harrington.”
“Well, it kind of does,” he said, tilting his head to the side. “These are my friends. I helped organize the party. No one would have cared if you wanted to be here, but you had to go and bring your girlfriend to rub in her face?”
Eddie was taken aback. He couldn’t believe Steve Harrington was here and had the nerve to talk to him and his girlfriend this way. He was about to say something rude back when you spoke up.
“It’s okay,” you said, your voice timid. “They can stay.”
Steve and Robin looked at you with concern etched on both of their faces. “Are you sure?” Steve asked quietly. “Robin told me your pregnancy has been complicated. You don’t need any extra stress.”
“It’s okay,” you repeated. You weren’t entirely sure if you were really okay with it, but you didn’t want drama at your baby shower. At least, not any more drama than what had already been caused.
Steve looked at you, giving you any chance to change your mind, but you didn’t say anything else. Steve looked at Eddie and Chrissy. “She says you can stay, you can stay.”
The rest of the party was admittedly very awkward. Eddie kind of felt like shit - he knew he shouldn’t have brought Chrissy here. It was the wrong move. He thought maybe it would be alright, but the second he walked in the door he knew what a mistake it had been.
When it was time for gifts, you felt a little uncomfortable. Even as a child you had never enjoyed the whole “opening gifts in front of the whole guest list” part of parties, but you knew your older relatives would find it rude if you didn’t.
You got a lot of lovely gifts - lots of girly clothes and tiny dresses, bottles, burp cloths, a baby monitor, baby soap and towels, health stuff, toys, all kinds of things. You even got some bigger items, like a high chair, a car seat, and a stroller. You were so grateful you teared up multiple times. As a single mom, you had been worried sick about how you’d afford a lot of this stuff.
When you opened Eddie’s gift, it was just a piece of paper inside the bag. You were confused, until you took the paper out and saw the photo of the crib you had been eyeing on it, and a note that he had ordered it for you. Cue the waterworks.
Chrissy’s gift was probably the ugliest baby clothes you’d ever seen in size 24m and a toy she wouldn’t be able to play with for years. You wanted to throw the gift back in her face. She did that shit on purpose.
The rest of the party went well. You managed to avoid Chrissy, or maybe she was avoiding you. You gave each of your friends and family hugs as they left when the party was over, thanking them for coming and for their gifts.
Eddie gave you a nod as he and Chrissy left. He was always so much more pleasant when he wasn’t with her. You could always tell when she was in his ear, too, because he would start stupid arguments and stress you out. You were tired of Chrissy in your business. You never wanted to see her for the rest of your life.
But that was Eddie’s girlfriend, the girl he actually liked, and Eddie was this baby’s father. So you supposed you’d have to live with her.
At 33 weeks, days after the shower, you noticed horrible swelling in your hands and feet. More than the normal pregnancy swelling. You brought it up at your doctor’s appointment, and she was immediately concerned.
Your blood pressure was through the roof. You were diagnosed with pre eclampsia and told to head straight to the hospital to be admitted.
You cried on the way to the car. This whole pregnancy had been hell, and as excited as you were to meet the baby, you were miserable. And it wasn’t time for her to come yet. You were terrified.
You drove around the corner to the hospital’s main entrance, walking inside and giving the receptionist the paper from your doctor. They had you upstairs and set up in bed in no time, hooked up to monitors and put on strict bed rest.
The first thing you did once you were settled was grab the bedside phone. You dialed Robin’s number first, filling her in through tears. She promised to be over right after work with movies to watch, wanting to make you as comfortable as possible while you had to be in the hospital.
Next, you called Eddie.
“Hello?” He answered, a laugh in his voice, and you could hear Chrissy giggling in the background. It made you feel infinitely worse.
“Eddie. It’s me.” It was obvious in your voice that you’d been crying.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, suddenly serious. “Is it the baby? Is she coming? It’s too early!”
You sniffled. “Not yet. But I have pre eclampsia. They hospitalized me and put me on bed rest until the baby is born.”
“Shit,” Eddie hissed. “Do you, uh…do you need me?”
“Can you run by the apartment and grab my bag I packed?” You asked. “Maybe throw some extra stuff in there since I’m going to be here for a while?”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
The next week in the hospital was a long one. You were bored to death, even with Robin and Steve coming by every day after work and on their days off. They would bring different movies from Family Video every day, and they had bought you a collection of board games to play together.
At 34 weeks, things took a turn for the worse.
Your water broke and labor began far too early. You were in a panic. Robin had been visiting at the time, and next thing you knew, doctors and nurses were rushing in, checking your vitals and fussing over you. The contractions started immediately, coming strong and fast.
“Call Eddie!” You called to a shocked Robin, who froze for only a few seconds before dashing for the phone.
By the time Eddie sprinted through the door, breathless and mercilessly alone, things were well underway. Labor had set in fast, and the baby’s vitals were dropping. They had to get her out as soon as possible.
“We’re going to be taking you back for a C section, okay?” The doctor told you kindly, but you could hear the seriousness of the situation in his tone. “We need to get this baby out right now.”
You had never been more terrified in your life. You could not lose this baby. You didn’t care much about your own well-being, but losing this baby would kill you.
“Can I come?” Eddie asked, his voice shaking. He was equally terrified. This baby, his daughter, meant the world to him already and she wasn’t even here yet. He needed both of you to be okay.
“Yes, you’ll just have to change into a pair of scrubs,” the doctor said. “One of the nurses will bring you some then bring you to the OR. We just need to get her in there and prepped immediately.”
Eddie watched as they wheeled you from the room quickly, disappearing down the hall with an urgency that made him sick to his stomach. Just as he’d been told, a nurse walked up with a pair of surgical scrubs and a hair cap, snapping him out of his internal panic.
He went into the bathroom and changed into the scrubs, pulling his hair up into a bun and putting the cap on. He slipped the shoe covers on last. He felt like he looked ridiculous, but he really didn’t have time to think about that right now.
Inside the operating room, you laid on a table with your arms strapped down out to the side. You also wore a cap over your hair, and a large drape curtained off everything below your chest.
“Hey,” you said, sounding nice and calm and a little out of it. “You came.”
“Of course I came,” Eddie said. He stood next to you as the doctor got to work. He did not want to think about what was going on behind that curtain.
It wasn’t long before the doctor said “Here she is!” and the next thing Eddie knew, he heard a shrill cry. It made his heart stutter in his chest, he lost his breath. Moments later one of the nurses came around with the tiniest baby Eddie had ever seen, wrapped in a hospital blanket. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His child.
You gazed at the tiny bundle in the nurse’s arms. You were so drugged up you couldn’t really comprehend the moment, but you knew that tiny bundle was your daughter. Here at last. And alive, healthy. Pink skin and a head full of brown hair.
“Would you like to hold her?” The nurse asked as the doctor went to work on stitching you up. “We have to get her to the NICU, so only for a moment. I’m sorry.”
The NICU. Eddie didn’t want to think too hard about that. “Yes, I want to hold her.” Eddie held out his arms and the nurse gently placed the tiny baby in them.
She was so small. She felt like glass, like the most fragile thing in the world. He took in every aspect of her appearance, from her hair that matched his, to her tiny button nose, her little pink lips. Her eyes were closed, so he didn’t get to see her eye color.
He moved over to you and held the baby down for you to see. “Here she is,” he whispered to you. “Our baby girl.”
You smiled a loopy smile, but you could feel the love practically bursting out of your chest. “Hi, Lottie,” you said, tears welling in your eyes. “Charlotte Mae.”
Charlotte did great, and had none of the problems common in premature babies. It was a miracle, and you were so grateful.
There was a knock at your door before it opened. Robin walked in, Steve trailing behind her. They both had smiles on their faces and held gift bags. Steve held a bouquet of beautiful flowers. He wore a yellow sweater and jeans, his long hair styled. You couldn’t help but notice how cute he was.
“Hey, mama, how are you feeling?” Robin greeted, coming over and giving you a kiss on the cheek. She looked down at the sleeping baby in your arms. “Hi, Lottie!”
“We’re doing good,” you said, a tired smile on your face. Eddie had been over earlier, but had to leave when Chrissy called the hospital phone, demanding he come home. It had made your chest ache, especially when he obeyed.
“Hey,” Steve said, moving to your other side. He held up the flowers. “I, uh, brought these for you.”
“Had the idea, picked them out, and bought them himself,” Robin said, wiggling her eyebrows.
The way Steve was looking at you did something to you, something felt deep in your chest. “Thank you,” you smiled at him. “They’re beautiful.”
“We also brought you these,” Robin said, placing both gift bags on your lap. One was purple with pink tissue paper, and the other was blue with yellow paper. “Can Auntie Robs hold her now?”
“Of course,” you replied, gently passing the tiny bundle into Robin’s waiting arms. She held the baby like a natural, gently rocking her.
You reached for the purple bag first. You pulled the paper out and found a comfy pair of pajamas for yourself, and a matching set for Charlotte. There was a card inside that read, I’m so proud of you. You’re going to be the best mom ever! Love, Auntie Robs.
You almost teared up, looking at Robin. “Thank you,” you said. “This means so much.”
“Of course,” she smiled. “Now open Steve’s!”
You laughed as you grabbed the blue bag and removed the paper. Inside you found an assortment of candy, and a small teddy bear. A card inside read Motherhood looks beautiful on you. You’re going to rock it. I’m glad we’ve become friends. Love, Steve.
“How did you know I have a sweet tooth?” You asked Steve with a laugh. You couldn’t focus on his note right now unless you really wanted to cry.
“Robin,” he laughed. “She filled me in.”
Robin and Steve visited for as long as they could, taking turns holding Charlotte and helping to take care of both her and you. You were so grateful to have such support, such amazing friends.
Custody was a whole other ordeal. You and Eddie had agreed that he would get Charlotte every other weekend, starting when she was 5 months old and could take a bottle when she was with Eddie since you were breastfeeding.
It worked out, Eddie didn’t argue with you much unless Chrissy started convincing him to, as she sometimes did. He started missing his scheduled weekends, claiming plans with Chrissy. The thing is that Chrissy knew what weekends Eddie had Charlotte, and she would do this on purpose. And he just let her.
It made you so mad. Lottie deserved better than this. She deserved a father who was excited to see her any chance he got. You began to resent Eddie more and more.
It was Saturday night, and Eddie had bailed for the weekend again. He was taking Chrissy to Indianapolis to spend the weekend and go shopping. Honestly, you were in the mood for a good cry.
Not only was Eddie bailing on his visitation, but he was also pushing for more. You didn’t understand it, but you knew who was behind it. Chrissy just liked stirring up shit between you and Eddie. You were convinced she got a kick out of it.
You figured the best way to get a good cry was to go rent a sappy movie. You were sure a good romance would have you sobbing within the hour. You packed Lottie’s diaper bag, strapped her in her car seat, and drove to Family Video.
You smiled when you saw Steve behind the counter through the glass doors. He was on the phone as you walked in, but he gave you a big smile and held up a finger to tell you to hold on a second. You started browsing the movies, seeing what was available.
Steve got off the phone as quickly as possible, rushing over to your side. “Hey, Lottie,” he greeted the baby on your hip, making her giggle and reach for him. You handed her off as Steve happily took her. “So, what brings you in today? Not that I’m not excited to see you.”
You couldn’t help but smile at Steve. “Rough weekend. I need a good cry.”
He frowned. “Why?”
You sighed. “Just Eddie and Chrissy stuff. The usual.”
Steve nodded in understanding, but it pissed him off. He hated the hell Eddie and his girlfriend put you through on a constant basis. He wished he could make it better. “So you need a sad movie?”
“Yeah. Any recommendations?”
He thought for a minute. He browsed the shelves as Lottie played with his name tag. “Hmm…oh!” He reached forward and plucked a VHS off the shelf. “This one will get you for sure.”
You took it from his hands. “Steel Magnolias. I haven’t seen it.”
“Oh, it’ll definitely make you cry,” Steve laughed as you examined the tape, reading the back synopsis.
“Do you know that because it made you cry?” You teased, a playful smile on your lips as you looked at him again.
Steve blushed bright red. “Maybe.”
You laughed, poking him in the side. “Who knew you were such a sap, Steve Harrington.”
“Hey,” he said, holding up his free hand in surrender. “Chicks dig a guy who’s in tune with his emotions.”
“Is that so?”
“It is so,” Steve confirmed with a grin. You could never wipe the smile off your face when Steve was around. He was just so fun, and kind, and funny. He was a great friend, and cute, too, if you let yourself admit it.
You exchanged the tape for Lottie then followed Steve back to the counter where he checked you out. “Just one movie tonight?”
“Yeah. I pass out too early now to watch more than one.”
Steve chuckled as he scanned the tape and pulled up your account. He clicked on his computer for a few seconds before a receipt began to print. “Alright, you’re all set.”
“Thanks,” you smiled as you took the tape and receipt from him. “I’ll see you around, Steve!” You turned and began walking to the front door, ready to get home, get Lottie comfy in bed, then watch your movie.
“Hey,” Steve said, stopping you. You turned around, confused.
“What’s up?”
“Um…” Steve cleared his throat. “Would you…want to go out sometime?” His voice was nervous, like you’d never heard it before.
His words caught you off guard. You raised your eyebrows, switching the baby to the other arm. “What?”
“Go out? Like, on a date?”
You blinked at him. “You want to go on a date…with me?”
“Yeah,” he smiled nervously at you. “I’ve…been wanting to ask you out for a while. But you just had so much going on, I didn’t want to add more stress to your plate…”
“Steve, you could never do anything but make my life better. I love spending time with you.”
He beamed at that. “Yeah? Well…would you want to go on a date with me?”
“Sure,” you smiled. “I would love that.”
You finished packing up Charlotte’s bag, making sure it was stocked with plenty of clothes and her favorite toys, including the teddy bear Steve had given her, which was her absolute favorite. Eddie had plenty of diapers and wipes at his house so you didn’t have to worry about that.
You had your date with Steve tonight. He was going to be picking you up shortly after Lottie left, so you had already gotten ready. You wore a short little dress that you’d been waiting for an excuse to wear forever, your hair hung perfectly, and you had done some light makeup. You hadn’t dressed up like this and gone on a date in…ever.
There was a knock at the door right on time. “There’s daddy!” You told Charlotte, who smiled big and clapped her little hands together. You scooped her up and headed for the front door, opening it to reveal Eddie.
Eddie smiled at Charlotte, but immediately took notice of your look. “Where are you going all dolled up? Got a hot date?” He asked, a sneer in his voice.
Your smile dropped. So he was going to be like this today. “Yeah. I do, actually.”
Eddie didn’t like that. The thought of it struck an unusual and unwelcome jealousy into his chest. “With who?”
“That’s none of your business,” you said. You handed over Charlotte’s bag. “I can do whatever I want. You cheated on me, remember?”
He didn’t acknowledge your second comment. “It is my business if you’re bringing my daughter around some guy.”
You stared him down. “Well, you bring your mistress around our daughter, so I don’t think you have the right to say anything.”
Eddie’s eyes darkened. “Chrissy is my girlfriend.”
“Sure.” You turned to Charlotte, smiling at her. “I’ll see you Sunday, baby girl. I love you so much.” You gave her a lingering kiss on the cheek before handing her off to Eddie. “I’ll see you Sunday.”
Eddie left, and you sighed. You took some deep breaths, trying to calm yourself. You would not let Eddie ruin this night. This was your first time being asked on a date, and you were going to have a good time.
It was about 15 minutes later that Steve picked you up. He looked handsome, wearing a button up shirt and jeans. He held a beautiful bouquet of flowers that he handed you as you opened the door.
“You look gorgeous,” he said, and you could tell from his voice that he truly meant it. You blushed deeply as you took the flowers.
“Thank you,” you smiled. Steve followed you into the apartment, stepping over toys as you walked into the kitchen. You grabbed a vase and filled it with water, placing the flowers inside.
“Where are we going?” You asked as you walked with Steve to his car. He held the passenger side door open for you, and you smiled at him as you slid in. He was such a gentleman.
“I was thinking, dinner and a movie is too lame, too cliche. We watch movies all the time. So,” he gestured into the backseat, “I packed us a picnic, and got us tickets to see David Bowie in the city tonight.”
You stared at him, blinking. “I…no you didn’t.”
Steve laughed. “Yeah, I did. I know you’re a big fan, and he was performing nearby, so…”
“Oh my god!” Your heart was beating out of your chest, you felt like it would explode. “Steve. Oh my god.”
Steve was very proud of himself for this one. He knew you’d freak out, but your reaction was even better than he hoped. “That’s why I asked you out tonight specifically. I, uh…already had the tickets.”
You quickly swiped a falling tear off your cheek before it could mess up your makeup. “Steve Harrington, I think I’m in love with you.”
That made Steve’s heart swell. Because he felt the same way about you.
Steve drove the two of you to the park, where you found a spot next to a large tree. He laid out the blanket and sat down the picnic basket he’d packed full of all kinds of foods. You ate together, laughing and joking and having the best time. But you couldn’t shake the buzzing excitement in your belly from the news of the concert.
It was a couple hour’s drive to the city, but it was worth it. The show was incredible, everything you dreamed seeing David Bowie would be. Steve held your hand, which sent electricity through both of your bodies.
When Steve brought you home, he walked you to your apartment door. Butterflies were flying in your stomach, still ecstatic from the most incredible date you ever could have imagined.
“I had a great time,” Steve said.
“Me too,” you agreed. “Truly. Do you…want to come in? The night doesn’t have to be over yet.”
A smile spread across Steve’s lips. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
Steve followed you in. As you turned to him, you saw something behind his eyes. Like he was thinking, considering something. He lifted a hand and caressed the side of your face with the back of his hand, thinking he had never seen someone as beautiful in his life. “Can I kiss you?”
Your breath hitched in your throat. “I…yes.”
Steve smiled lightly. Then he was leaning in, closer and closer, until his lips pressed to yours.
Sparks flew. You kissed him back eagerly, and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your body flush to his own. The kiss turned heated, Steve pressing your back up against the wall as he kissed you passionately. His hands began sliding up the skirt of your dress.
“Steve,” you said, breathless against his lips. “Take me to my room.”
The next morning, you woke up next to Steve. He had his arm around your waist, cuddling you close. You were both naked. As you awoke, Steve did, too, pulling you closer to him and nuzzling his face into your neck. “Don’t go,” he mumbled.
“I’m not,” you giggled. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Steve asked you to be his girlfriend that morning. It may have been a little soon, but you happily said yes. You knew Steve well, he was one of your best friends. You knew you wanted to be with him.
Robin was ecstatic when you told her the news. “About time!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms up. “Took you long enough, dingus.”
You knew you had to tell Eddie. As much as you dreaded it, he deserved to know as the father of your daughter. You waited a couple of weeks into the relationship, wanting to be sure things were going to work out before you brought it up. But your relationship with Steve was incredible, a kind of joy you never thought you could experience in a relationship.
Eddie came to the door to drop off Charlotte one Sunday evening. He was a little early, and Steve was over.
“Shit,” you hissed as he knocked at the door. “I guess it’s now or never.”
You answered the door, loving how Lottie’s face lit up at the sight of you. “Hi baby!”
“Mama!” She called, reaching for you. You took her from Eddie’s arms, sitting her on your hip. “Dada!” She exclaimed next, only she wasn’t looking at Eddie.
Steve had come up behind you, and Lottie was pointing at him. Your mouth dropped as Eddie’s face turned to one of pure anger. “What the fuck?” He said.
“I swear, I don’t know what that’s about. She’s never called him that before,” you explained quickly. Honestly Eddie deserved to have his feelings hurt, but you knew how destroyed you would be if Lottie called Chrissy Mama.
“What is he doing here anyway?” Eddie asked, gesturing towards Steve. “I don’t see Robin here. Do you have a life of your own, Harrington?”
You looked between Steve and Eddie. “Ed…me and Steve are…together.”
The words hit Eddie like a punch to the gut. He figured you would date eventually, but maybe he just got spoiled by you being single. He didn’t expect the pain of finding out you had moved on. And with Harrington? “What?”
You pursed your lips, knowing this had the potential to go badly. “We’re together. Steve is my boyfriend.”
Eddie just stared between the two of you. Then, he laughed, a sinister sounding chuckle. He knew he had no right to be pissed, but he was pissed. “Well, isn’t that just great.”
“Eddie-“
“No,” he said, holding a hand up. “You don’t owe me an explanation. You do whatever you want. Enjoy your life with Steve.”
And with that, he left. He didn’t even tell Charlotte goodbye.
Things with Steve were incredible. He was the best boyfriend you could ask for, and he was amazing with Lottie. She loved playing with him, and he could sit on the floor and play with her for hours without getting bored.
You had been together for a year and a half when he surprised you with a trip to the beach. You spent the weekend laying out in the sun, playing in the ocean, making love until the early morning in your suite.
On the last day there, you were walking down the beach hand in hand. As you were looking down at the sand for seashells, you noticed some writing in the sand. You let go of Steve’s hand to walk over and read it.
Will you marry me?
“Steve!” You exclaimed. “Look, someone proposed! How cute-“
You froze when you turned around to see Steve on one knee, holding a beautiful ring in a black velvet box. You gasped, tears immediately falling. You always were emotional.
“Will you make me the luckiest guy in the world and marry me?”
Eddie came home a little early from work one evening, and immediately knew something was wrong. He could feel it in the atmosphere before he even heard the noises. Those unmistakable noises.
He crept down the hallway, careful not to make any noise. Not that he thought he’d be noticed, anyway. Not with what he deeply suspected was going on.
He made it to the bedroom he shared with Chrissy. The door was slightly ajar, and he took a deep breath before pushing it open all the way.
Chrissy and her ex, Jason Carver, were in his bed, absolutely going at it. Eddie knew this was what was going on from the moment he walked into the apartment, but seeing it, he still felt like he’d be sick. Chrissy turned at the sound of the door opening and screamed, covering herself and Jason, who didn’t really seem to give a fuck at all.
After Jason left and Eddie was left alone with his girlfriend, he demanded the truth. She admitted she had been sleeping with Jason again for months.
Naturally, Eddie kicked her out. Then, he was alone.
Alone with only his thoughts, he had too much quiet time to think. And what he found himself thinking about was you. Far too often. He thought about your relationship, how he fucked everything up, including your lifelong friendship. Sure, he got his beautiful daughter out of it, but he could have treated you better. He should have treated you better.
He also thought about the way you’d treated him. The way you had loved him. How you were the only woman who had ever loved him, besides his mom all those years ago. How he had taken you for granted. He thought about how he would feel if some asshole treated Lottie the way he treated you. The thought itself made him furious.
Because now that Chrissy was gone and he was no longer blinded by his lifelong crush, he was realizing something:
Eddie loved you.
Not just as the mother of his child, or as a platonic friend, but love love. The kind he had been too blind to see back in high school, back during the days of your relationship.
He hated himself now. He had fucked up more than was even fathomable. He had thrown you away, for Chrissy. You were so much better than Chrissy in every way. Prettier, smarter, funnier, kinder. And you had treated him well.
Eddie dwelled on it for months. He grabbed his mail from the mailbox as he headed into his trailer one day, flipping through the various bills and junk mail - until he stopped at one with your name on it.
He dropped the other pieces of mail in his rush to open that one. He nearly ripped it in half getting it open, and as he pulled out the card inside, his blood ran cold.
You are cordially invited to the wedding of Mr. and Mrs Harrington.
It was too late.
tags
@ali-r3n @crispystarfishhottub
#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#eddie munson x reader#steve harrington x reader#eddie munson smut#eddie munson angst#eddie munson imagine#steve harrington imagine#joseph quinn#joseph quinn smut#joseph quinn x reader#joe keery#joe keery x reader#eddie munson x you#steve harrington x you#eddie munson oneshot#steve harrington oneshot#eddie munson one shot#steve harrington one shot#eddie munson x fem! reader#steve harrington x fem! reader#eddie munson x female reader#steve harrington x female reader#eddie stranger things#steve stranger things#stranger things x reader#eddie munson x y/n#steve harrington x y/n#eddie munson fanfic
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Come to my city
Contains: Plot, strangers to one night stand, smut (eating pussy, fingering, p in v, bit of overstimulation)
Summary: You once watched the Sturniolo triplets religiously back in 2022, but college, work, and real life started to take up most of your time. Now in 2025, your younger cousin still being a fan, asks you to be her chaperone to their new tour in your city. An unexpected encounter with Matt after the show, gives you an entirely new reason to love them again.
Word count: 4.5k
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For most of your high school career, you worked overtime, taking as many night school courses, summer school courses, and extra credit projects as you could. This resulted in you graduating high school a year before your peers in 2021, but rather than spending your extra year without obligatory schooling on internships and working, you rewarded yourself by spending your gap year completely recreationally.
On the first week after graduation, you were perusing the YouTube homepage when a video by the “Sturniolo Triplets” appeared in the catalogue of video options.
Curious, you clicked it and to your surprise, you were laughing. It wasn’t often that a piece of media made you laugh whether it was a movie, show, or YouTube video— but the triplets brought you both comfort and amusement.In a matter of a month, you went from a casual viewer to a full blown fan. You set alarms at 5:30 on Wednesdays and Fridays, followed them on all their socials, and actually bought merch which was another first for you.
You spent nearly all of what was left of 2021 and entered 2022 immersed in the Sturniolo fandom, other hobbies of yours taking a secondary position. Looking back from where you are now, 17 year old you was a little embarrassing but happy nonetheless.
Your unchecked free time a came to a close when September arrived sooner than expected and responsibilities bombarded their way back into your life. First it was college enrolment, then a job, volunteering, and tutoring for extra money on the side, you couldn’t recall the last time you hung out with a friend, let alone sat down and watched an entire YouTube video.
By the time you reached midterms, the merch began to collect dust in the furthest parts of your closet and your YouTube account was forgotten. Even when you finally learned how to manage your time, you chose to spend the moments you had with nothing on your to-do list by reconnecting with the people in your real life that missed you.
During the summer of 2024, you were spending your well earned vacation at your family home when a few cousins decided to sleep over for the weekend. You were close with all of your family no matter how distant so of course you were excited to reunite with a few of your younger relatives, your favourite in particular was your 14 year old cousin, Andie.
After the usual “how’s school?” conversations with your Aunts, you took Andie up to your room to catch up on life.
The best thing about having younger cousins was knowing that you were somebody they looked up to, at a time in your life when all you did was compare yourself to your better accomplished peers, it felt nice to hang out with someone who thought you were the coolest person ever.
It took no longer than 5 minutes before you were gossiping as if you you were also 14 years old, you brought out your big girl nail polish and did her nails as you both talked about any and everything.
Eventually she made a comment that peaked your interest.
“and me and my friend were sending edits of these YouTubers we like and she said she wanted to start editing and I was like ‘do it’ but she was like ‘no what if I’m bad’ and I kept trying to tell her to just try” she rambled. “You guys are so cute, you’re a really good friend,kid.” you complimented before looking up at her with a smile slowly creeping on your face.
“What” she asked, extending the ‘a’, “So can I see the edits?” you teased.
“Oh my god no” she laughed, cheeks beginning to blush out of embarrassment.
“No please come on, no judgment I swear” you pried, wanting to know more about what your favourite little cousin likes to do for fun.
She paused for a moment before speaking again, “Have you heard of the Sturniolo triplets?” she said so quietly you were lucky that you even heard her.
“Uh of course I have? I watched them like everyday a few years ago” you admitted to make her feel more comfortable to share.
“Don’t lie” she joked, “Andie I’m being so serious, I think I still have their merch somewhere in the deepest darkest parts of my closet.”.
With a shocked look on her face she exclaimed “Merch? Can I please have it if you aren’t wearing it? Please I’ll do anything, when was it from?” she began her tangent.
You spent the rest of the night bonding, sharing your favourite videos as she caught you up to speed on what the triplets have been up to since you stopped watching them.
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Now, it’s a year later, April 2025— two months since the triplets announced their 3rd tour.
You didn’t understand why they toured to begin with but since your cousin didn’t get the chance to go to the first two, and nobody else she knew was willing to take her to the newest one, she was texting your phone day after day, begging you to take her.
It’s not that you don’t want to take her, it’s that even after Andie shared her interest with you, you still feel like you’ve outgrown them a bit.
That mixed with knowing that there is a guaranteed chance that not one soul over the age of 16 will be in that venue, is enough to tell her to kick rocks regardless of how much you love her.
As you walk back to your dorm, you receive a text. Looking down at your phone it reads.
“Y/n plz just drive me. my friend saved up her allowance and bought us both tickets we justttttt need somebody to drive us there and home pleaseeeeeee”.
You look down at your phone and smile to yourself, this was an idea you can get behind, you didn’t have to go inside and deal with everything that come with that nor did you need to feel embarrassed being the only adult there.
“Done” you sent the message swiftly before resuming your podcast and walking the rest of the way back to your dorm.
The show was in a week and you were feeling nothing in particular, the only thoughts you had were how happy you were that your mini-me got to have a good time and you paid zero dollars.
Between studying, working and a few nights of drinking here and there, the show day was here before you knew it.
Looking into your closet, an almost laughable thought crossed your mind, back during your Sturniolo phase, you would’ve put on your best outfit if you had the chance to go to one of their tours— mostly for Matt if you were being honest. In your year of loving the triplets, they all made you laugh but Matt’s humour was effortless, combine that with his charm and the fact that, to you, he was the most attractive triplet, it was safe to say Matt was your favourite for more than a few reasons.
So when picking out the outfit you’d be wearing to sit in your car for two and a half hours, you figured it would be stupid to wear a semi-sexy cute outfit, so that’s exactly what you did.
Trying not to do too much as your little cousin is who your really there for, you wore oversized dark wash jeans low on your waist, shoelace as a belt, boxer briefs peeking out for fashion purposes of course, and a tight white cropped tank with the hem sitting right below your rib cage, short enough for your belly ring to shimmer when the light hits it.
Finally throwing on timberland regardless of the season, you make your way down to your care before navigating towards Andie’s house.
The drive from her house to the venue, located downtown in your city, the drive was over half an hour. Music and lighthearted conversation with the two now fifteen year olds, made you feel like a young teenager again, a feeling you didn’t mind every once in a while.
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The girls had gone in two hours ago, you’re playlist was getting boring, and your ass was numb, so your best solution was to drive to the nearest food joint and grab something to eat before returning to your parking spot.
You had only been gone for 15 minutes but as you pulled into the driveway of the venue, you seen flashing blue and red lights following the siren sounds of an ambulance.
You park and step out of your vehicle to get a better view of what was going on, standing on your tip-toes, you catch a glimpse of your cousin and her friends standing, visibly in good health, by the ambulance talking to someone positioned behind the large vehicle at a spot where you couldn’t see. You run towards the girls.
“What’s going on? Are you safe? Im so sorry I went to get a bite to eat, I thought the show ended in twenty minutes” you’re frantically examining Andie’s body for any injuries, your judgment clouded by the unknowing of the situation.
“We’re fine” her friend snaps, looking ahead embarrassed, you turn your head with her to see who it was the girls were speaking to and you nearly flinch at the sight.
All three triplets were in front of you awkwardly, before you could ask any questions, Nick fills you in.
“These girls called out for help when somebody in the crowd fainted, we’re just thanking them, they’re really sweet girls” Nick states.
You look between the triplets and back up at the young girls “but you guys are okay right?” you ask once more, in the corner of your eye you see Matt exchanging looks between one of his brothers raising his hand over his chest, communicating how cute he found the interaction.
The small gesture stood out to you, it brought back memories of watching Matt and relating to his soft and tenderness, part of the reason you found him so cute way back when.
You and up straight and thank the triplets for staying close to the people you were supposed to be responsible for, but as you are about to lead your walking stresses towards the car, Andie calls out “Wait, we had merch we wanted you to sign” as she waves down the triplets.
Matt was the first to turn around and begin walking back, only then did Chris and Nick notice the change in course.
“Wait here!” she exclaims as she grabs her friends hand and skips towards the car, you and the triplets slowly make your way to join the girls while engaging in some small talk.
“So I’m guessing the shows over?” you ask the obvious in a shy attempt at a joke.
“Yeah, we closed it off really fast before everyone started to leave” Chris explains, taking the lead in the conversation.
You nodded, silently accepting that the conversation wasn’t going to be very fruitful. The four of you were now a standing a few feet from the car, watching the two girls rummage through the trunk looking for the two hoodies they wanted signed.
You were standing a step or two ahead of the boys when the girls turned around, panicked, “We can’t find the hoodies we brought” Andie cries, you can hear a lump forming in her throat.
“I told you guys to bring them before you left, are you sure you had them with you when you walked to the car” you ask, trying to de-escalate the situation.
Nick butts in your conversation after noticing that both girls looked like they’re about to cry “It’s okay, if you guys didn’t bring them, you can swing by the hotel and we’ll sign it then, we leave at like 8 tomorrow morning” you turn around, slowly blinking and smiling at Nick in gratitude.
The girls thank the triplets, you all say a polite goodbye and head back home.
When you dropped the girls off, your aunt was very clear that they were in for the night and it was way too late for them to tag along so you took it upon yourself to drive back on your own to get the hoodies signed.
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The long drive right back in the direction finally concluded and you were stood inside the triplets hotel lobby, when exchanging information, Matt was the first to offer up his number for you to text when you found your way to the location.
“I’m here” you message, expecting one or all of them to run down to sign the articles of clothing and quickly depart, “2205” he replied within less than ten seconds of your message being sent.
From the perspective of someone who only knew the triplets personalities from 20 minute weekly videos in a car, it seemed out of character for Matt to invite a stranger up to their room but your mind didn’t falter from the goal of getting the hoodies signed, walking into the elevator your finger hits the 22nd button, the ascent upwards feeling slower than it was.
A large part of you was excited to privately meet the YouTubers that an older version of yourself would have killed to even exchange eye contact with, you arrived at the door and knocked.
It took longer for the door to open than it did for your text to be answered but as the wooden barrier creaked open, Matt was standing in front of you with a warm smile, the view of his entire room visible from just glancing over his shoulder— you notice that nobody else is in the room with him.
“Hi” you chirp, breaking the thick silence surrounding the both of you.
You look down at your arm wrapped in medium sized pink and leopard print hoodies for a moment before you resume eye contact, feeling slightly awkward at your lack of knowing what to do.
“Uhh” he drags, “My brothers are in their own rooms” he turns his upper body and head around to look back at his room.
“You can just wait here while I get them to sign these and then I’ll come back and give them to you” he suggested as more of a statement than an offer.
“Sounds good” you keep the verbal interaction short and sweet, paranoid that you’d embarrass yourself if you spoke for too long.
He steps aside to let you walk in before walking out, your legs moving on autopilot, you find yourself sat on the corner of the bed that had yet to be used, the corners still neatly tucked and sealed away.
Looking at the sofa, a charger and half drank bottle of apple juice displayed on the arm rest, it didn’t take a genious to gather that Matt had only just checked in, you started to feel like a burden but reassured yourself that you weren’t putting them through that much trouble.
Matt returns with the hoodies now folded in a pile he held in his arms, you stand up immediately but instead of handing you the clothes, he places them on a nearby dresser.
“Today was definitely on of the more eventful shows of our career” he smiles, eyes looking directly into yours.
This wasn’t the shy, anxious, and reserved Matt you remember every time you think back to your time as a fan.
“I know, I bet you’re tired, I’m so sorry again, for keeping you up just to sign the hoodies” everything you said seemed like you didn’t want to keep talking but in reality, you were unnerved by the proximity to a guy you stopped watching but never stopped finding attractive.
“Honestly I can’t sleep, my brothers though” he pauses to let out an airy chuckle before starting again “they’re out like lights, I had to wake them up to sign it” you’re about to apologize again before he stops you mid-thought.
“It’s not your fault at all, this kinda made my day a little better” his eyes never left yours.
“I don’t think I’m following” you state with a lighthearted tone, your best attempt at seeming less nervous and more friendly.
“Seeing the way you talked to your little cousin made my day. I know how it feels to be panicked and anxious and you handled it well” .
You smile at his compliment, “glad I could help make your day” you reply.
Matt didn’t waste a second before starting another sentence, not wanting the conversation to conclude, this was the most effort Matt has ever put into talking to a stranger but he realized almost immediately after meeting you that he needed you in ways he couldn’t say straight up.
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He suggested you stay for a bit, there wasn’t much for him to do and he’d been having insomnia most of the tour up to this point.
You didn’t hesitate to accept the offer and two hours later, you had no intentions of leaving yet. Matt sat on the edge of the bed while you sat on the sofa facing him.
“Your cousin was telling us how you used to be a fan” he emphasizes the ‘used to’.
“I definitely was, but life gets in the way of stuff and I didn’t have the time, nothing personal” you finish your sentence but your mouth stays open, implying you have more to say, you do.
“You were my favourite y’know” you finally get out, now looking at the floor.
“Yeah?” Matt waits for you to confirm before making any further comments, his eyes glued to your face while you averted your gaze.
Once you look back up and nod he speaks once more, “What about me” he now has a cocky smile plastered on his face.
“Hmm, looking back, I couldn’t tell ya” you joke before back tracking “No, but I don’t know. It was probably how gentle you seemed, I felt the most comforted by you” .
He looks at you with an expression you can’t make sense of, no signal of intending to speak, you add onto your last sentence “Plus you’re the hottest” you had no idea what washed over you but in that moment, you felt like anything was better than silence.
“Stand up for a sec” he says bluntly, possibly looking like an idiot, you abide by what he says.
He jerks his chin to signal for you to walk towards him, once more, you listen and walk up to where you’re standing between his spread legs as he’s sat on the corner of the mattress.
“I can be gentle, I don’t always have to be” he says in a near whisper.
Rather than responding with your words, you understood what was being insinuated, so you lifted your arms from your side to rest your forearms over his shoulders, letting your hands rake his back.
His body responds to your touch, hairs on the back of his neck now upright, he let it a slow but heavy inhale while his eyes danced up and down your body.
“Can I touch you” he says in a whisper, wetting his bottom lip with his tongue before his eyes found their way back up to yours.
Just as he looked at you, you’re gaze now exploring the new perspective, his lower lip glistened in the dim lighting, the stubble sculpting his cheekbones and jawline, his hands gripping the edge of the bed as if he was fighting every joint , muscle, and artery, to not grab hold of you and do with you what he wanted.
Your eyes trailed from his long fingers to the prominent veins lacing the back of his hands, finally looking back into his stare that never broke free from yours, from where you were standing, his once blue eyes looked black from the dilation in his pupils.
“Mhm” you finally mumble, you too, now in need of him.
His hands slid off the bed and find the sides of your knees, slowly winding and sliding up your legs, wrists rotating so his fingers teeter between the outer and inner parts of your thighs.
Once his palms reach the top of your hips and his slender fingers are brushing against your waist, his thumbs move the fabric of your shirt up to your bra, as he begins placing kisses where your top stops and your skin starts.
The kisses were slow pecks at first, but as his mouth moves lower, he lets his tongue escape his mouth more and more with every kiss.
Once he reaches the waist band of your underwear peaking out from your jeans, he looks into your eyes while unbuttoning your pants, the sight floods your mind and pussy.
Your hands retreat from his back to squeeze his shoulders in a massage motion as you throw your head back, Matt pulls down your jeans to which you respond with stepping out of them and kicking them to an unknown and unregarded corner, Matt let’s out a chuckle before getting back to business.
He stands, hands gripping your hips harder to steer you to lay on his bed, with your legs draping off the side and him standing where you just were.
Your back arches, his hold on your hips travels to your abdomen to push you back down on the bed. Matt lowered himself onto his knees in front of you, head leaning over your lower half, he takes hold of the band of your underwear with his teeth and starts to drag them down with his bite.
“Matt” you breathlessly plead, you back curving as you strain your neck to look above your head while you lie there, you were scared if you looked down at Matt and watched what he was doing, you’d cum before either of you got the chance to get to what you were there for.
He stops mid-pull for a few seconds, now, you have to look down, you see him smiling with your underwear between his teeth, just about to come over your clit and finally reveal your juice filled clit.
Once he knew you were looking again, he pulls them down all the way, jaw falling slack at the sight of your wet cunt reflecting the glow from the lighting around.
Matt didn’t want a second wasted, he placed one solid kiss over your clit before lifting his neck to get one last look, then letting your pussy connect with his mouth.
His tongue and lips focused in on your clit, alternating between circling your pulsating pearl with his tongue, and sucking you with both his tongue and lips, now closer to red that before from the blood rushing to them as he used them to make your world spin.
You didn’t try to hold back the sounds of satisfaction, every time you moaned louder than the rest, you could feel him grin against your pussy for a moment before he resumed.
One of his hands left your hips to circle your entrance, the other finding your ass, squeezing it like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded, his tongue found a way to lick every inch of your heat before two of his fingers slowly slid into your pulsing hole. The pace in which they fuck you, picks up the louder your moans get.
The hand that was placed on your hip, releases its grip and slithers down the bed and you hear the sound of his belt unbuckle.
You can hear Matt begin moaning with you, you look down to see him touching himself with the now free hand while the other remained dedicated to pleasuring you.
You feel your orgasm bubbling up, bucking your hips up to get as much pleasure from his mouth and hands as possible, noticing this, Matt’s tongue laps your clit faster until your climax boiled over.
He doesn’t stop even after you cum, continuing his motions as you squirm under his mouth, eventually he unlatches from your pussy with a ‘pop’ sound.
Matt stands up and leans over to his side table to pull out a condom and hands it to you to let you slide it over his cock. After it’s on, you crawl to the centre of the bed but Matt stops you.
“No sweetheart, stand up” he asserts.
Standing up off the bed, he gently but firmly takes you by the arm in front of the floor to ceiling window, turning you by your shoulders so you’re standing there watching over the bright city lights, from behind, Matt speaks into your ear. “You can take your top off now ”.
You did just as he said, tossing your shirt to the side and looking over your shoulder, you feel Matt’s fully erect dick graze your back.
He pulls your lowered half back as he slides his dick in your slippery cunt, his other hand pushes your tits against the glass. He started off slowly, but the sounds of your sopping wet core, was too much for him to keep the ‘gentle guy’ act.
His arm reached around your waist, bear hugging our front as his hand held on your ribs, his other arm reaching over his head joining your tits in being pressed onto the plexiglass. The more you moaned the harder he went, jabbing your cervix, blurring the line between pleasure and pain.
Your moans went from loud to near screaming when his hand travelled from your ribs down to your swollen and pulsing clit, you let out a scream and he whispers “tell me how it feels”.
You try to formulate a comprehensible sentence but have to pause between thrusts “s-so good, too g-good Matt”, he trails kisses along you shoulder as his fingers work magic over your sensitive clit.
“I can’t h-hold it Matt” you manage to get out. He takes more than a second or two to respond, through choppy breathing he tells you to cum for him, the both of you hitting intense climaxes, grunts and moans bouncing off the thin walls.
You both stand there for a few moments before he pulls out of you, you remove your forehead off of the now fogged up mirror, drippings from the condensation of your breaths. You turn around expecting him to do the same, but instead he stays facing you, grabbing your jaw and tonguing you, only letting you go after he’s satisfied.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6ce1d84ab8ffae54030ebf4ceedc68bd/9c941500b1904de6-be/s540x810/2d9ba313b193a431ceecaa282716eaf65044538e.jpg)
The night ended not long after that, your body being just what he needed to fix his insomnia.
Matt came out of the washroom to see you putting your shoes on and grabbing your pile of signed merchandise.
“Don’t lose my number pretty, I think I’ll be visiting this city a lot after tour, I like the people and stuff y’know” he says to the back of your head while you walk towards the door.
As you place one step out of the door, you turn around to look at his face “Wasn’t planning on it”
You swiftly close to door, wanting to get the last word. As you sit back in your car, you pull out your phone and watch their most recent YouTube video in the silence of the empty vehicle.
An hour later you were laid back in your bed, feeling a bit of insomnia, you figured it was only right to touch yourself to the memory of the last few hours.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6ce1d84ab8ffae54030ebf4ceedc68bd/9c941500b1904de6-be/s540x810/2d9ba313b193a431ceecaa282716eaf65044538e.jpg)
Authors note: so I tried to do less chunky paragraphs and break it up more, here’s a little smth for valentines from me to you ;)
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#matt stuniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo#sturniolo smut#abysful
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hi, I would like to order a bouquet for Lighter 🤭 can the focus flower be lillies, with ivy, delphinium and heather as filler flowers, in pink paper wrapping? thank you!
-🐇 anon-
goldie's gift shop : order list for : lighter lorenz // lilies + ivy + delphinium + heather + pink paper [confessions + jealousy + first kiss + idiots in love + college au] florist's note : your friend was the one who brought it up, but it made complete sense - lighter was an attractive guy who lived with a bunch of girls. one of them had to be his girlfriend, right? it was an assumption you'd been running under almost as long as you'd been friends and studdy buddies. so why was he always looking at you like that? and why was your go-to coffee order always waiting for you when you met him at the library? and WHY did the words 'i need to tell you something' just leave his mouth???
wc: 1.2k a/n: this is the fic that was giving me grief, i just love college lighter a lot and this took so much reworking to try and do him any justice notes / warnings: lighter x gn!reader, basically just fluff, reader lowkey doing some simone biles level mental gymnastics, brief mention of burnice x pulchra, no use of Y/N
"I don't want to burst your bubble, but don't get ahead of yourself. I'm pretty sure he has a girlfrienzzd. Or he's a player. Or both."
Your friend's words had, unfortunately, very much burst your bubble. You'd just gotten home from the first meet-up for a group project, for which you'd miraculously been paired with Lighter, the guy you'd been pining for across lecture theatres since you started university, and you were excited to giggle and debrief with her over the phone. And you had, telling her how he was not only hot but so nice, that you definitely thought you had a chance, until you'd sent her his Instagram handle, which you'd gotten the courage to ask for just before leaving the library, and she went quiet.
The conversation shifted to a different kind of debrief then - she told you about how she shared a few classes with a girl he lived with, Burnice, and he was always meeting her after lectures, how his house consisted of him and four girls, and every time she'd seen him around campus he was with one of them. By the end of the conversation, your high hopes were left significantly dropped. No matter what way you looked at it, the way your friend described it convinced you - whatever the situation, there was no way he was truly single. You'd accepted it as true then, and there had been no indication that anything had changed in the last few months, even as your friendship with him grew.
So just what on earth was happening to you right now?
"I need to tell you something."
Those were the words Lighter Lorenz had just said to you. The classic, default, 'I'm about to confess' line. While standing at the door to your dorm room, uncharacteristically fidgety, avoiding eye contact, and- shit, was he blushing?
This was the last thing you'd expected when he'd messaged you ten minutes ago, asking if you were busy, if he could come over. You'd expected he wanted help with the assignment due next week. Or he was bored and just wanted to hang out. Or he'd gotten into some fight and needed someone a bit more sane than his roommates to see if his cuts were serious. All of them had happened before.
A confession? No. Not on the list of possibilities. You'd long since accepted that no matter how much you liked Lighter, he was off limits. You'd yearned from a distance, lamented to your friends and your notes app that someone else was lucky enough to have him, thanked the universe that at least he was private and barely talked about the relationship so he didn't see how your jaw clenched when you thought about it, and did your best to move on with your life. It was difficult, when the two of you had a weekly standing reservation at your favourite table in the library, and he regularly joined you for movie marathons in your cramped dorm room, but you'd been making a valiant effort. Because you had to. Because he was taken.
"Look, I've been dancing around it because I really value our friendship, but it's getting to a point where I can't just push it down anymore," Lighter continued, still sheepishly avoiding meeting your gaze, unaware of the error messages flashing in your mind, the complete loop he was throwing you for, "I like you. Romantically. Like, a lot."
With a deep, shaky breath, Lighter forced his eyes to finally meet yours. He wasn't sure what look he expected to see on your face - he'd hoped for joy, had prepared for both shock and pity. But your face bore none of those - instead, you looked monumentally confused, blinking at him like he'd given the confession in gibberish.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?" "What? No?"
The words had slipped out of your mouth before you could think of a better way to phrase them, but at least now he was as confused as you were. For several seconds, the two of you stood there in the doorway to your room, eyes wide, staring at each other.
Then, you processed several things at once.
One: Lighter had never, to your recollection, said anything about dating anyone. Not once. You'd been running under the assumption for months, and he'd never said anything that confirmed it.
Two: You didn't even know which one of his roommates you thought he was dating. You'd seen how friendly he was with all of them; the barrelling hugs from Burnice, the makeup he bought for Lucy, the daily gym sessions with Caesar, the way Piper fell asleep on his shoulder. And had somehow never considered he was just like that with close friends.
Three: Lighter liked you. He bought your coffee because he liked you. He made himself free whenever you wanted to see him because he liked you. He came to you first when he got injured in a fight because he liked you.
And as it all hit you, the gravity of your stupidity, all you could do was laugh. You tried to restrain it, fearing you'd think you were laughing at him and not yourself, but the pure ridiculousness left you cackling until you were out of breath, a mixture of embarassment and elation as you realised that none of your problems were even real.
You retreated back into your room, beckoning Lighter to follow you as you sat down on your bed, trying to collect yourself. He stood awkwardly just inside, door clicked shut behind him, quizzical yet fears slightly soothed by the fact you wanted him in the room. In any other situation, he'd be more than content to watch and listen as your laughter bubbled past your lips until you cried, but right now, there were slightly more... pressing matters on his mind.
"I thought you had a girlfriend," you confessed, when you calmed your amusement enough to speak, "Oh my god, I'm such an idiot. Why did I think that?"
And Lighter had to laugh as well, heart thrumming at how relieved you seemed at the information.
"Who did you even think I was dating?" he questioned, padding closer to stand by where you sat on the bed.
"That's the thing, I don't even know!" you started laughing at yourself again, lying back on the bed, "One of your roommates. I think I'd have bet on Burnice."
"No way. Even if I was interested, she literally has a girlfriend - you know Pulchra?" he sat down next to where you lay, but the last dregs of his earlier unspoken question still itched at his mind. He was pretty sure he had his answer, because now that the universe had given you permission, you were looking at him in a way that could only be described as starstruck. "So... I like you. Thoughts?"
You couldn't help but giggle again, even though your cheeks were hurting from all the laughter. Then you grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down towards you, pressing his lips to yours; clumsy, both of you surprised and smiling against each other, and melting into it perfectly.
After a couple seconds, he pulled back, grinning dopily at you lying and breathing heavily under him on your bed.
"I've been wanting to do that for forever." "I'll take that as you like me too?"
And then his lips were on yours again.
#goldie's events: valentine's 2025 ♡#goldie's anons : 🐇 ♡#zzz lighter x reader#lighter lorenz x reader#lighter x reader#zzz lighter lorenz x reader#zzz lighter#zzz lighter lorenz#lighter lorenz#zzzero lighter#zzzero lighter x reader#zzz x reader#zzz#zzzero#zenless zone zero#x reader#zzzero x reader#zzz lighter x you#lighter lorenz x you#lighter zzz#lighter lorenz zzz
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your heart's safe with me
written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles Valentine's Day pop-up event and @steddiebingo main card fill for the prompt pre-relationship
rated: T | wc: 1.000 | tags: pre steddie, pining, love confessions, implied friends to lovers
"If I have to see one more couple kissing, I'm gonna be sick. Can they just not? I'm already miserable, don't need them to rub it in like that," Steve groans and Eddie gets it; it's hard being single on Valentine's day.
That is, if you're name is Steve Harrington. Self-proclaimed former ladies’ man, who never really had a problem scoring a date until he lost his crown when he climbed off his high horse and became part of the loveless losers club Eddie's been a member of all his life.
"Can't even go to Robin's for our annual Fuck Valentine's date because she's seeing her new girlfriend tonight. I mean, I love that for her but- god, it sucks being alone."
"You do know who you're talking to, right?"
Steve turns to look at him, confusion making way for understanding.
"Oh, uh, sorry."
"You should be. I've never had a date on Valentine's day. Or ever, for that matter. But do you see me complaining? No. So suck it up, man. You'll find the right one. Maybe not today but- they're out there somewhere."
Eddie hates to even think about it but there’s no denying the fact that one day, he'll have to come to terms with Steve being in a relationship with someone that isn't him. It sucks, but that's just how things are.
"You could come to my place after work," Eddie offers before thinking it through. "We can watch some cheesy romcom. You can complain about how unrealistic it is and I can make fun of you for crying over the happy ending."
This makes Steve laugh and Eddie takes it as a win; he loves making Steve laugh, loves the sound of it.
"So that's a yes?"
After their shift, they separate ways only for Steve to make a detour home because he complained about needing to get out of his smelly work clothes and take a shower.
Eddie would've offered his shower and his clothes for Steve to change into but it’s better that way – better not to give his mind any more reason to create fantasies he definitely shouldn't have.
So, he uses the time to freshen up and clean up some of the bits and bobs scattered around his apartment. It's not messy, not really. Nothing like Wayne had augured when Eddie moved out to live on his own. It's more like organised chaos but because it's Steve coming over, Eddie puts a little more effort in it than he usually would.
An hour later, Steve finally arrives.
"For how long it took you to get changed, I thought you'd be dressed up a lot nicer for me," Eddie jokes when he opens the door and finds Steve standing there in comfy sweats and hoodie, hair tousled but still unfairly good looking.
"Sorry. Robin called because she was freaking out about her date, so I had to calm her down. You know how she gets when she's nervous." Steve shakes his head and sighs, smiling fondly, "But I stopped at the pizza place you like. Brought your favourite, as an apology."
His smile turns from soft to cheeky and Eddie happily takes the large box handed to him.
"I could kiss you right now."
Eddie could kiss him always, but Steve doesn't need to know.
They get comfortable in the small but cosy living room, eating while watching the movie Steve chose - something about best friends who are obviously meant to be but too oblivious to realise it. Eddie's not really paying attention, just enjoys Steve's presence. Letting his eyes linger on the man beside him every now and then, smiling whenever Steve smiles, counting the moles on his face and neck, wishing he could kiss every single one of them. It's stupid, maybe even risky to gawk so openly, but Steve doesn't notice - or at least he doesn't call him out on it.
"This is so stupid," Steve says and Eddie laughs because he's been waiting for it.
"How do they not know? I mean- it's clear as day that he's into her. How can she keep looking for love when it's right there?"
"Sometimes you just don't see what's right in front of you, I guess." Eddie swallows hard; he knows too well what it's like not to be seen.
"Okay, sure. But then why doesn't he just- tell her. I mean, they're clearly perfect together."
"It's not always that easy."
"I'd want to know. If there was someone loving me like this, I'd want them to tell me."
Steve turns to look at him and Eddie's breath catches in his throat.
Does he know? Does he suspect something? That can't be. Eddie never told anyone about his feelings for Steve.
"What if they're scared?" It already sounds like a confession and Eddie curses himself for not keeping his mouth shut.
"Scared of what?"
Eddie scoffs frustrated.
"I don't know, Steve. Rejection? Losing your best friend? Having your heart broken?"
He didn't mean to snap at him but this conversation really hits a nerve.
"But what if..." Steve trails off, seems lost in his thoughts, "What if they love them back?"
Eddie has the sickening feeling that they're not talking about the movie anymore.
"They wouldn't know unless the other person gives them a sign."
"Something like that?"
Before the question even sinks in, Eddie’s lips are sealed with Steve’s that are tentatively pushing, opening up just enough for a hint of tongue Eddie chases with his own, falling easily into the rhythm of Steve's lead.
Eddie keeps his eyes closed for a long moment after they part, contemplating whether he dares to believe this is real.
"Your heart's safe with me," Steve whispers sweetly and Eddie realises then, that this crush hasn't been so one-sided all this time.
Next year on Valentine's, he promises himself, he'll make it extra special for Steve. Tonight though, sharing pizza and kisses and confessions is enough to make it perfect.
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I would love to see your headcanons of how Darry would prank Pony. How he would be a little shit in his own eldest-brother way.
oh my god hello love!! ok i think about these two CONSTANTLY I have a handful!!!
ok one I think as a small day to day mischief Darry LOVES to wake Pony up by grabbin' him by the ankles 'n just YANKIN' Darry's always the first one up of the three of them most days 'n he never ever stops thinkin' its funny to wake Pony up in the most jarrin' way possible
I know I've talked about this somewhere else but Darry also adores just lyin' for the fun of it. Pony'll ask him what the weathers supposed to be like or how somethin' works or any of the other million things he's always pesterin' Darry about 'n if he doesn't know (or half the time even when he DOES) he's just makin' that shit up. Pony CONSTANTLY has to fact-check him but most times when he asks Soda he doubles down on the lie (a decent amount of the time Pony believes a complete n utter lie for MONTHS until he mentions it to someone else 'n they're like huh? what are u talkin' about that's not true Pony goes home FUMIN')
Darry will just pick Pony's ass up. Not movin' fast enough? picked up. gettin' in the way? picked up. sittin' where Darry wants to? picked up. not necessarily a prank but for sure an older brother mannerism that makes Pony fuckin' CRAZY he is always THRASHIN' 'n WAILIN'
He'll randomly shout Pony's full legal name for no reason at all i.e. "PONYBOY MICHAEL CURTIS" 'n Pony feels all the blood drain outta his face 'n he BOOKS it over 'n Darry's like "do u want casserole for dinner?" Pony's standin' there huffin' 'n puffin' RED in the face
Sometimes when Pony's headin' out to do somethin' Darry already told him he could Darry loves to pull the "WHERE do you think ur goin'?" 'n when Pony's like "the movies? you said I could?" Darry's like "mmmm no I don't think I said you could do that" Pony's losin' his mind "yeah you DID" Darry's got a hand on his chin cartoonishly like "mmm not ringin' a bell I don't think so"
When someone's tryin' to make plans with Darry 'n he does NOT wanna go he'll be like sorry :( can't leave the kid alone shucks man yeah well what are you gonna do? yeah I know he's fourteen but last time I did that I came home to four empty vodka bottles. Huh? Oh naw he didn't drink 'em. Do you know what a Molotov cocktail is? He STAYS lyin' on Pony's name
Oh he loves to pull the "oh jesus Pony did you forget?" "forget what?" "holy fuck Pony you really did, didn't you?" "forget WHAT? the dishes? the laundry? what?" "jesus Pone AGAIN?" "WHAT??" oh he TORMENTS him
when Darry's runnin' late (exceedingly rare but still) he blames it on Pony EVERY time somehow it is always that kids fault he's runnin' behind
#AGH#these are just a few#in the interest of not havin a post thats like thirty bullets long#WAGH#i love thinkin about these boys#yeah maybe darrys his guardian now#but he will always in some ways just be his older brother#EEE#TY FOR THE ASK#feel free to request hcs any time yall#theyre so fun#n garenteed I always have like a goddamn million of them#i am always like squeezin them into stories#offhandedly#but i have so many i couldnt find a place for#so they just live in my head#WAGHH#this was so fun#ALSO I ADORE UR BLOG#i was SO hyped to get this ask EEE#the outsiders#ponyboy curtis#darry curtis
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Fluff Alphabet with 1x1x1x1
A/N: I’ve been wanting to make one of these for a while now, and I finally have the energy to do so!! This was so fun to make, and if y’all want any fluff or nsfw alphabets with any of the characters (might be just the killers for now though) feel free to send them in!!
⚠️Warnings: I think none?? I’ll go back later and see if I need to add anything, there may be spoilers though just be aware.
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A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
I feel like 1x would spend his free-time relaxing on the house with his S/O, and I also feel like he’s exhausted after being the killer during the rounds, so he just likes to sit back and be in his S/O’s arms while they watch whatever show or movie the reader put on.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
This is pretty hard because he would admire a lot about his S/O, if he really had to chose he would say he admires his S/O’s passion, for hobbies, for their loved ones, really anything. That’s what would make him fall in love with you at the very start anyways.
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
He can’t really say anything, he is the being of hatred so he doesn’t wanna say anything that’ll make you more worse than you already are, he’ll just sit or stand by you, and if you need to hug him, go for it and he’ll hug you back, and smooth your back and the back of your head while you cry into his shoulder.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
He pictures the future with you where you guys can finally run away from everything, somewhere far away and it’s only the both you against the world. If he’s in his betrayed form though, I don’t really think he would picture the future any longer after that, but he’ll always stick by you no matter what.
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
I feel like he’s somewhat both?? But a tad bit more leaning towards being the one to wear the pants in the relationship, he would say pet-names that would make you melt, while your able to just take him into your arms and whisper comforting words into his ear and get him to melt into you. It’s a 50/50.
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
Whenever he fights with his S/O, he is not someone that would easily forgive them right away, he would probably storm out and take some time away from them, I think the reader would have to be the one to apologize to 1x mostly, but if it’s really that bad and your not talking to him then he’ll come back after some time, being all gentle while asking for your forgiveness and how wrong he was, because while he may not say it to you, he genuinely can’t stand fighting with you because your the love of his life and he can’t lose more than what he already has.
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
I’m not sure if I said this before but, while he would not (never) admit it, he is secretly so grateful for all that you do for him, you made him a little bit better of a person when you came into his life, he’ll show how grateful he is though his actions.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
I feel like he would only hide a few? Like really personal ones like how he was betrayed by his minions and shedletsky, but he only hides those when you guys start dating, when y’all are far into dating, and after some years he tells you the rest of his secrets like those. It shows that he trusts you with his entire being (and heart).
I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
Definitely yes, while he may still be a killer and a bad man, you were able to get him to show his soft side just to you only. After being betrayed for a while he couldn’t trust no one, and when you came into the picture, and after some time he finally had a person he can go to that won’t be like the others from the past. You also definitely made him try new things and helped him with some of his personal problems too. Kudos to you.
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
Oh yes, if he sees anyone flirting with you, or anyone who he deems as a threat to him and you then he will do everything in his power to make sure nothing will come between you guys, he just doesn’t want to lose another person like he has before, that’s the main reason why he gets so jealous.
K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
At the start of dating, he was NOT experienced at all, you would have to take the lead for him, but once he was able to that then he became a master at kissing you, trust.
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
It would take years (like 1 or 2 LMAO) for him to confess his feelings to you, he would have been good friends with you at first, while having a huge crush on you that he couldn’t contain anymore. He dragged you to a closed off, private place and he grabbed your arm and leg his feelings pour out his mouth, and luckily, you accepted his feelings and started dating from there.
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
He’s someone who wouldn’t think about marriage often, especially in his betrayed form but, when you brought it up one time, he spend all night awake in bed watching you sleep while wondering if it’s time to get married, if your the right person, and after some thinking, he would start planning where and how to propose to you.
When he proposes to you it’ll obviously be in private, and when he gets on his one knee for you, he takes your hand and with the other hand he opened the box with this beautiful silver ring inside of it and asked you (quite nervously) how important you are to him, how loved you are, and asked if you would be fine if you’d spent the rest of your life with him, and to his surprise you said yes (over a million times), jumped on him and kissed him.
When it’s time to finally get married, it would also be private, maybe with just a few of your family and friends there. Go out to dinner and come back home, nothing too special but it’s enough for the both of you, already happy enough you can be together for good.
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
Usually simple petnames like babe, baby, darling, honey, sweetie, your name, etc. But he would also use those cheesy petnames like sugar, cutie pie, hot or baby cakes, etc.
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
When he was in love with you, when he had a crush on you before he confessed, he always looked soft when he looked in your direction, and when he was able to see you around after the rounds he would always have his eye on you while you weren’t looking, the other survivors would have him the stink eye, while some of the killers teased him about it, mostly c00lkidd was able to to that, any other people who teased him would get their head snapped off.
P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
I feel like he’s somewhat in between both of those, leaning more towards about not being that upfront about his S/O, if he is he would always have his arm around your waist, or he would hold your hand, and maybe peck on your lips just to watch the other survivors and killers reactions.
Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
It’s very simple but he always brings you a cup of coffee or tea for the both of you each morning, always getting everything you want right, it’s like he can always read your mind. And whenever he gets you gifts he never fails to leave you satisfied.
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
While he may not look like he’s that romantic to other people, in private with just you two he is very romantic, he is always able to do anything for his lover no matter what, even if he may complain under his breath sometimes, but he would go beyond just to see a smile on your face.
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
Of course, he may not exactly help his S/O since he doesn’t really know how to help unless if you tell him to but he’ll 100% believe his S/O can do anything, he’ll always encourage them.
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
I think he’s fine with just having just the usual routine he has with you, unless if you want to try anything new you are always welcome to tell him, it may take him some time to think about it though, with some pleading maybe he’ll agree, who knows.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
Like I said in some of the other headcanons, I think we can tell he is flawless at understanding his partner, even if he can’t emotionally express it. Him being there for you no matter what can prove so many things.
V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
His relationship is so important with you, for gods sake he confessed to you?! And he’s not that type of person to go all out either, but he saw something in you, he couldn’t quite lay a finger on what that was yet but he knew that you were important somehow. He will fight to keep this relationship, no more bad things can happen again to him, he can’t loss anything else, you are his entire world.
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
He enjoys doing any hobbies you may have, especially if it has something to do with music or fashion. And if your big on fashion you can use him as a model, put some makeup on him! He may be irritated but that goes away once he sees how happy you are, and he even listens to your favorite songs if he’s missing you. And he loves to slow dance with you to music at night <3.
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
When you hug him, he just melts into your arms completely, he loves to lay on the couch or the bed with you and just cuddle you, and he even enjoys being the little spoon too! He’s comfortable enough to show his vulnerability to you, a whole new side you’ve never seen from him with other people.
Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
While your gone and he’s at home, he’s fine to be alone after some time, but if your gone for a really long time he starts to get into his thoughts and starts to overthink a lot, which causes you to try and comfort and smooth him.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
He’s a killer. That says a ton about what he would do for this relationship, as I said before you are really the only person he has left, and he couldn’t lose you. He’ll make sure no one gets in the way of it, he will burn the entire world and make sure you and him are the last ones standing.
#forsaken#forsaken roblox#forsaken x reader#forsaken x y/n#forsaken x you#roblox x reader#roblox#1x1x1x1#1x1x1x1 x reader#x reader#roblox forsaken x reader#forsaken roblox x reader
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aaaahh!! @blackseakraft ✨🤩 tysm for the tag! Its an honor to get to know you, thank you for sharing ☕️
what’s the origin of your blog title: caf enthusiast to express my adoration for my favorite commander. for my username, I was an addictive overwatch player for 9 years since 2016. I’m a support player + a sniper, but during a Halloween event one of the icons was a ghosty pachimari, so I took ghostymari + added a letter for my name <3
OTP + ship name: I have too many
favorite color: black + dark green
favorite game: bioshock, overwatch, elder scrolls online, jedi fallen order, fallout 4 mostly for the music.
song stuck in your head: “if it doesn’t hurt” by nothing more
weirdest habit/trait: idk I’m just weird + chaotically sad?
hobbies: art, photography, home decorating, fashion (when I’m not being lazy), dancing (swing dancing, line dancing, + just going ham in a club dance floor 🦇🖤⛓️)
if you work, what’s your profession: I was hesitant on sharing because being vague makes me feel safe, but was like WHY NOT?! I’m a designer + co-account manager for hot topic at an apparel company. I used to have Spencer’s + Spirit Halloween under my umbrella before the company expanded. If you shop those stores you may have seen my terrifier Spencer’s collection last year ;)
if you could have any job you wish, what would it be? I’d live in the middle of the woods in a house built of stone and wood by the local lumberjack. I’d become a spinster, living off my garden, animals, + survival stock. a witch. I’d be a witch.
something you’re good at: sarcasm + dark humor
something you’re bad at: uuuhhhh taking my own advice
something you love: my kid
something you could talk about for hours, off the cuff: clones, universe conspiracies, you know, normal stuff.
something you hate: people who lack common sense
something you collect: right now it’s star wars in universe home items, mid century 60s-80s vintage + new inspired home decor/furniture
something you forget: everything. adhd is fun.
what’s your love language: acts of service, but mostly anything that doesn’t involve me telling someone to do something. If someone goes out of their way to do something just because they care, I take that so hard. I just don’t ask for anything + I don’t expect anything either.
favorite movie/show: star wars, the munsters, addams family, repo the genetic opera, greatest showman, red vs blue, the office, parks + rec, hubie halloween, sense + sensibility etc
favorite food: sushi mostly, but I just really enjoy asian food
favorite animal: I have a cat, so cat? we used to have ferrets, so I really like those too.
what were you like as a child: too obedient, I grew up in a religious cult; I turned out fine.
favorite subject at school: art. I had everything from extra art classes, photography, + even retook humanities because I loved the history + my favorite teacher was a plus.
least favorite subject at school: math
what’s your best character trait: traumatic sarcasm
what’s your worst character trait: goldfish brain, I promise I just get so distracted or forget stuff. Out of sight out of mind; I work too much.
if you could change any detail of your life right now what would it be? grim truth: I’d want to bring back my late husband but I know better than to mess with time or the balance of the universe. allons-y!!!
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? alan rickman. Idk how, but I’d do it.
@lonewolflupe @eclec-tech @badbatchposts @wings-and-beskargam @returnofthepineapple @jetii @baddest-batchers I’m always down to learn more about everyone if you wanna share. Respect if you don’t <3 vode please feel free to join in if you haven’t been tagged too
Get to know your mutuals!
What's the origin of your blog title? When I was in middle school, someone told me "you dress so goth, but your personality is so happy. You're like a really cheerful grim reaper. A joyful soul collector." And that's been my username for most everything ever since!
OTP(s) + Shipname: Oooh, right now it's Jayvik, and tbh I can't think of another one, this is one of the first ships I've been really really into tbh. Other dynamics focused on my blog have actually been more platonic, like Irondad
Favorite color: Red!
Favorite game: Dungeons and Dragons! Both as a player, and DM!
Song stuck in your head: The Challenge - EPIC
Weirdest habit/trait? I download thousands of still frames of tv shows that I love so I can make memes out of them. But I have to sift through and delete all the pictures that are blurry or unnecessary, which takes hours. I think it's super fun because I'm autistic and really enjoy sorting stuff lol
Hobbies: Writing, playing DnD, making memes, and hanging out with my friends!
If you work, what's your profession? Not so much a profession lol, I work at a toy store. It's a part time job while I'm in college, studying to be a radiologist!
If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically? Radiologist. But ANY job I wish? Professional DM or Professional DnD player, like the people on Dropout or Critical Role haha
Something you're good at: I'm good at writing stories! I can write them well and write things that make people feel deep emotions, and I like that.
Something you're bad at: Recognizing when someone doesn't want help haha. I tend to try and fix things or help people when they just want to vent, and it ends up frustrating for both of us.
Something you love: I love stories. Any kind, I love so so many
Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: My favorite shows and stories, my dnd campaigns and characters, my stories and ideas
Something you hate: Fascism. Bigotry. Willful ignorance. Fearmongering. Propaganda.
Something you collect: Dice!! I'm a dice goblin for sure haha
Something you forget: I often forget chores unfortunately
What's your love language? Physical touch and acts of service
Favorite movie/show: Ooh right now it's definitely Arcane haha
Favorite food: Sushi!
Favorite animal: Cats!
What were you like as a child? In a word? Unwell haha. I'm a good bit better now, still struggling with a lot, but better than I used to do
Favorite subject at school? English, I was always good at that class
Least favorite subject: Chemistry. I hate that shit so much lol
What's your best character trait? I think that I'm kind and willing to stand up for others
What's your worst character trait? I can be disrespectful to some types of spirituality unfortunately. It just doesn't make logical sense to me. I have two friends that are fully convinced that a cursed doll gave some youtuber testicular cancer. And I just can't see the logic or critical thought in that
If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? Mmm. All of fascism shit is definitely damaging my calm so I'd love to change that specifically
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? Harry Allen. Google him he's a badass transgender cowboy
Tag as as many mutuals as you want!!
@sb-essebi @glitternightingale @blatterpussbunnyfromhell @captainhollowstories @kydrogendragon @misforvendetta @poetryinmotion-author @bocularteletheric @kai-ovillager @thatoneneuvichiliauthor @4amarcanethoughts @alexspearsxoxo @kotonni @buckybucananbarnes @kakesuwolf @martybaker @patheticjayce @sleepycrowhours @aixabi @up-the-bracket @snoopyviktor @emdashflower @humanshapedstress @hellsalore @juuzousmom @softandslow @fangirlshenanigans04 @batmans-attic @lvrstrsh @bluemoyai @tearexxwrites @bodyofvvater @lifeandeathepub @areesespiece @lancesblueazaleas @monaisme @milkywaysipper @carmendyy @tseecka @heazueken @tophat-69 @velocitychroma @prjctdiva @gremlinofchaos @ourvectorviktor @kenjinx @jxmimac @gh0stedvhampir @voxconcordia @arcaneheraldslawyer
ngl I tried to tag ALL my mutuals that I have, but this was how many it allowed me to do before it made me stop lol so here's as many as I could fit!
#tag game#kriff who am I scaring away hahaha#is anyone gonna read this?#I’m being vulnerable again who knew
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EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOURE DOING RIGHT FUCKING NOW
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EVERYBODY SHUT UP IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the teru & reigen virus can attack at any time.#over the most miniscule things at that.#IVE CONSIDERED THE POSSIBILITY OF THEM BOTH LIKING IT BEFORE. BECAUSE OF REIGEN’S. TASTE IN MOVIES#BUT. AHHHHH!!!!! HAHGHHHGHG!!!!!!!!!!!#its REAL#teru finding reigen’s fdp poster. barely restraining his overjoyed wonder that someone else enjoys something niche he enjoys#teru in his most normalest voice ever: oh wow you like this movie too? what a coincidence! [jittering so bad he might burst]#the teru&reigen movie lineup must he INSANE#be*#i need to make a fic right now (is about to go to sleep)#the possibilities. (<-is insane and crazy and insatiable)#flashback to the flying dead pig comic. tear streaks down cheek#I COULD SENSE THE ENERGY FROM A MILE AWAY. CANNOT HIDE FROM ME#i think reigen would enjoy having someone to talk crappy movies with. but teru would genuinely love them i think so reigen would have to#tread lightly while speaking about them#reigen: yeah the direction in this movie was totally messy#teru concealing biggest saddest frown ever: it is just creative. you dont know a goddamn thing#reigen would not hide his truths [emoji] but he would pity the boy#teru&reigen seventeen hour discussion about old obscure movies (NO SURVIVORS RITSU CAUGHT IN THE BLAST AND KILLED)#im sick#i also love how this trivia is worded. its very deliberate if you get what i mean#‘[muttering out of side of mouth] also..if you didnt know…..’#its a fun piece of factoid to share. and i. i really. im im teally. i jsut . i am telaly gals thhat they worded it aaid ltit like thaey did.#THIS IS SUXH NOTHINGBURGER. IM SORRY#dude this is why i have the teru reigen family album. im desperate for the smallest of morsels. just a CRUMBBB PLEAAASE#GHHAHAHEHEHAJA !!!!! HHHRHEGEGAHAHS S AAWWHHHH AHHHHBABHAHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!!! RRRRAGHSHHAAAGAGEGGEHHRHRH#mob psycho 100#mp100#teruki hanazawa#reigen arataka
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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I JUST REWATCHED PIWON MOVIE AND I HAVE THINGS TO SAY
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#okay first of all THEY DEBUTED WITH A MOVIE !!!! that's so crazy every time i think about it im like woooow#jongseob and intak acting debut when ???? they were sooo good omg unlike kyo i didn't remember how bad he was 😭😭 but his#character is hilarious so it's fine <3 ALSO i completely forgot yoo jaesuk and jung haein are in it like guysss what are u doing here hihi#anyways absolutely oscar worthy real cinema if u ask me#now after taking notes and watching the new trailer a few times i think that p1epi is actually chaeyoons weird talking plushie#but since it's away from her it can't talk so that's why jongseob create that thingy to translate from#dog language to human language and i think it's there because maybe the members got like lost in time and#it wants to remind them that they have to save the entire world from the apocalypse#also p1epi came down from the sky just like the alcot meteor like ummm yes we love symbolism 🙂↕️#i saw someone saying the dog it's actually intak because the dog came through the window and intak wakes up next to one but it doesn't make#any sense to me so we're throwing that idea in the trash can#talking about intak hes now has blue eyes so that means he got infected but honestly when did that happen while he was fighting#some zombie? idk i think i have to watch all their mvs again for clues but what that means he's one of the bad guy now??#also i may be insane but what if the shop represents the world and seeing it in flames means the members couldn't save it and their lore#ends with the saddest ending ever like yeah sorry the apocalypse won#OR WHAT IF !!!!! they aren't the ones who can save the world they actually are the reason why it's ending like the masked ghost#actually created them to spread the virus and that would also explain them at the end of the trailer looking#at the burning shop without doing anything like they ARE alcot the meteor thats gonna destroy the world#but that would be too dark i know they're the heroes so it will have a happy ending#i have many theories but im starting to scare myself so ill shut up#pt
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This is probably just the high of finishing season 2 talking, but like. Can we get whoever did Arcane to do a DMC reboot show? Maybe as a reboot of the reboot? Or at least a sequel?
Like, just. People who love and respect the source material/preboot! But can also take that and craft something good based on those source materials that kinda does its own thing! And is actually good!
Just. My kingdom for some good character writing for DMC stuff. Preboot and reboot, tbh.
I'll be honest I kinda like...idk perhaps I'm in the minority but I don't really want more extended universe dmc stuff? Like I'm firmly in the 'I don't want a DmC2' camp and I'm also not particularly jazzed about the upcoming anime. IDK like more official works on the reboot in particular for me over the years has just become something I'm not interested in. I've spent a lot of time with the material and I've put thought into how I'd like for it to be followed up and I'm just...so confident it would not at all be what I want and it'd leave me disappointed and with a lot of work that would just now feel pointless.
I do, however, realize most of the fandom hasn't been making a like 250k prequel about Kat and Vergil that's been stuck in development hell and would probably not be bothered by any of this asdfghjkl
I do think it'd be interesting to see what Fortiche could do with Devil May Cry, any of the Devil May Crys. Though I'm not sure what they'd do with it given how much less...complex it is I guess? Not that the story has to have as many moving parts as Arcane for Fortiche to do a good job but still. I do think, though, with the new Netflix anime and Fortiche focusing on their own projects and new Riot projects that them doing anything for anyone else is not very likely (very much a shame I'd have LOVED to see what they'd do with Warcraft. The story of Warcraft is so ripe to be cleaned up, fixed up, and released in a comprehensive and coherent way, like the Warcraft cinematics team are incredible themselves but I'm still pretty sure there's only a handful of them. Warcraft just has such good meat in there that I'd really love to see someone else pick up and put together)
If I were to get my dream project from Fotiche on DMC/DmC I guess what I would like is either a much more slowed down and polished soft remake of what we get with the reboot. Like a version of it that really gets to take it's time. Though it would lose a lot of it's campiness asdfghj for good or for bad. For the preboot I mean there's a lot there with the preboot if they wanted to just go through the whole brother saga. Like across the board for both preboot and reboot, given Fortiches focus on writing complex and intense family dynamics that we see in Arcane, it'd be interesting to see how that'd play out in their interpretation because at the end of the day both Devil May Cry's are about like family bonds, both born into and forged, and what loyalty we do or don't have to those bonds and legacies. I think either would definitely be a good series, in the very least.
It's a bummer though as I'm like...really not confident in the new anime and would much rather have this asdfghjk
#fab talks#fabtalks#my dream project however is the spiderverse team doing infamous second son like how they approach art and animation i just think#as well as grief narratives and what not like idk i just think it'd be a match made in heaven i think they'd do a stellar job#but uh they need better labor practices first#ask#the first time i saw season one though all i kept thinking was 'this is what wow needs' like wow has some good meat and#ideas that are so weighed down by all the nonsense i'd just really like love to see a more unified vision of it because like a lot of the#issues outside of ones that exist in like all fantasy stories more or less is the fact this is a story that's been told over like 30+ years#at this point with so many different authors with so many different opinions and conflicting understandings of the ramifications of like#what they are writing at various points that someone coming in with one solid vision would be great#im not sure who would be the best to do that though? like i mean i know how i would like to clean it up asdfghjkl but idk if blizz would be#willing to allow any company and writers team the freedom to do what would be needed to do that i mean that was the issue with the movie#they wouldn't allow him enough freedom so at times you'd get these peaks at a better movie or attempts to fix blizzs writing but none of it#was like allowed to flourish due to 1) how much stuff they had to put into the movie and 2) how immobile blizz was being about the material#but uh no one asked about wow asdfghjkl no one asked about this at all im on a completely random side tangent asdfghjkl
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just saw the barbie movie and honestly i can't believe there aren't more posts about Gloria??? like i understand that it was The Barbie Movie and Barbie is the main character and it's About Her, but it's only about her because it's actually deep down about Gloria
#mj talks#barbie 2023#i don't know i just think that Gloria was the actual heart and center of the movie#a woman felt so out of place in her own life and left behind by the passage of time#that these feelings brought to life and forever changed someone in another dimension#like. Gloria's loneliness is the only reason any of this happened#and her love and kindness and continued grasp on hope is why anything got solved#yes barbie had an incredible transformation and you love to see it!#but can we please talk about Gloria?#the woman who still has enough childlike wonder in her to keep a barbie at her desk#the woman who makes up funny ironic dolls to deal with her own overwhelming emotions#the woman who hears that barbie is real and IMMEDIATELY decides she needs to help her#i loved the moment when she said she was going to help barbie because she wanted to!#because she never gets anything she wants anymore and this is something she wants to do!#YES we are going with barbie to barbieland. NO i am not going to feel ashamed about it.#Gloria shows that we don't have to be ashamed of our interests and our femininity as we age#keep that childlike sense of wonder! hold on to that imagination!#idk i just had a lot of feelings about gloria
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Thank you for tagging me @caramelc0rgi !
What's the origin of your blog title?
I wanted a name ive never used online before so i picked the name of an oc i had when i was a kid and added of love because venus is the planet of love
Otp's + shipname
Since August last year, Cherik ❤️❤️ and before that hmm, the fandoms i was in were kinda dying down but i guess johnshi from mortal kombat or cageblade
Favourite colour?
Purple 💜
Favourite Game?
Probably Animal crossing i dont rlly play any other games, Minecraft is also fun. Story wise i think sally face, Or Mk1 the new one (ive never played it but i watched the story mode 🫣)
Song stuck in your head
They not like us by Kendrick lamar
Weirdest habit/trait
I talk to myself a lot but i feel like thats normal.... i hope.. i also break out into a British accent a lot too idk why..
Hobbies
Drawing, reading, walking (with headphones on and music going) just other crafts in general like scrapbooking and painting
If you work, what is your profession?
I graduated highschool recently so right now i just work in retail 💪
If you could have any job you wish, what would it be, realistically?
I have two sides, one wants to be an actor because i think i would be good at it and it sounds fun. The other wants to be a world known activist that influences heaps of people in the right direction because someone needs to do it 😭 🙏
Something your good at
Drawing
Something your bad at
Math, it stresses me outtt
Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff
X-men, specifically the characters Charles xavier and Erik Lehnsherr
Something you forget
birthdays, im terrible at it
Whats your love language?
Buying gifts, or just paying for things in general. Dont have enough for a drink, here let me.
Favourite show/movie
My favourite movies are probably the xmen movies, the greatest showman, the alien movies!!
Favourite tv shows are You (netflix) Friends, the big bang theory and Lucifer.
Favourite food
Pasta
Favourite animal
Dogs? I guess, cause i have one shes the best, but an animal that isnt a pet i would say crocodile their fucking cool.
What were you like as a child?
Surprisingly confident, i wanna say loud too...
Favourite subjects at school
Art but just the class time drawing and talking to my friends. I didnt like what they taught us. And English, that was an interesting subject.
Least favourite subject at school
Math, i probably would have liked it more if my teachers werent so rude or words i cant say on tumblr
Best character trait
Hmm i would like to think that i am very self efficient, like, im always trying to be a better version of myself.
Worst character trait
I keep a lot of my complaints quiet, if someone did something that upset me i will not tell them. Although im trying to get better at that i feel like im progressing
If you could change anything in your life right now, what would it be?
I would like to change where im at financially, which is very possible i would just like it to happen a bit easier lol
If you could travel in time who would you like to meet
Charlotte Brontë (Author of Jane Eyre) but only because im currently reading Jane Eyre and i had this thought literally yesterday of damn i wish i knew what she was thinking when she wrote this. Because Jane is such a relatable character
Tagging!!
@wishchip106 @vanodka
Get to know your mutuals: tag game
thank you for @mapofyourstars and @ashestxr for tagging me 😊😊
What's the origin of your blog title?
when i was a teenager being a closeted pre-transition trans guy i felt really invisible and like i didnt fit in anywhere, a "ghost". and 512 is the name of a song i listened to a lot at the time. nowadays i find the url a bit cringy but im too lazy to change it lol
OTP(s) + Shipname:
honestly at the moment i only care about cherik haha but i appreciate raven x emma and logan x ororo as well :)
Favourite colour:
black for clothes, pink for literally anything else i own
Favourite game:
i have 1500 hours of stardew valley on steam lol. its an absolute obsession. it comes in waves tho, like twice a year ill get hooked on it again and create a new farm to achieve perfection on. other than that, i really loved playing undertale and graveyard keeper.
Song stuck in your head:
this is kind of embarrassing but atm im a bit obsessed with daisy by ashnikko (the ft. hatsune miku version).... I LIKE BETTER MUSIC TOO I SWEAR
Weirdest habit/trait?
pacing around my apartment thinking abt my current obsessions... i used to be so embarrassed but ive come to find out lots of people do this too so thats fine i guess
Hobbies:
reading and playing games, mostly. ive been trying to write more lately too
If you work, what's your profession?
ESL teacher. its not the coolest thing in the world but i really enjoy it
If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically?
literature professor in uni/published author
Something you're good at:
(literally the same thing ashe, who tagged me, said) i believe im a pretty good writer despite being slow and not doing it that often lol
also i know im a very good teacher (i know its my job so duh but youd be surprised with some of my coworkers...)
Something you're bad at:
keeping secrets, especially my own 😭😭😭
Something you love:
cats, wine and contemporary brazilian literature
Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff:
why i love charles xavier so much and queer/feminist theory.
Something you hate:
uhhhhhh idk my ex i guess (happy valentines day!)
Something you collect:
hello kitty merch 😌😌😌
Something you forget:
dates and appointments, its so fucking bad i put everything on a calender above my desk and i still manage to forget them sometimes
What's your love language?
im very touchy and affectionate but i also love acts of service, like surprising people with small gifts (i believe thats part of acts of service?)
Favourite movie/show:
my favorite movies are xmen fc, dofp and xmen II (obviously) but also amelie poulain and fried green tomatoes
my favorite series are breaking bad and the office, ive watched them both multiple times
Favourite food:
chicken!!!! fried chicken, roasted chicken, chicken with pasta, chicken with rice and beans, chicken with mashed potatoes, give me!!!!!!
Favourite animal:
i was OBSESSED with cheetahs as a child, still love them but in general rn id say cats. also love monkeys
What were you like as a child?
a very idealistic dreamer with a bit of a savior complex (hello charles xavier). not the sharpest social skills.
Favourite subject at school?
in high school it was english just because it was so fucking easy bc i was fluent lol
in uni any of my literature classes
Least favourite subject:
hated physics in hs i was so fucking bad at it. and in uni i'd had ENOUGH of pedagogy classes they were soooo boring and repetitive
What's your best character trait?
im very honest and if i love you i will do anything for you
What's your worst character trait?
probably snapping at ppl sometimes. i know its terrible but i really try not to and i always apologize. up until last year also i always let ppl treat me like shit and didnt set boundaries. im unlearning that now.
If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?
have enough money to only focus on my studies and not have to work lol
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?
maybe kim jonghyun. he was my favorite singer when i was younger and he passed away in 2017 :( he was such a great person :(
im not sure who has already been tagged in this but ill tag @caramelc0rgi , @foxherder , @disasterhals , @eriknocherikyes , @stinkrat-aleks , @mooniel, @eriksdefender and any other moots who'd like to do this!
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i just finished saw v and i don't have high hopes for the rest of the franchise (based on what ive heard) but im in too deep to stop now
#no i haven't enjoyed the last two no i don't expect to get much out of the next five or so movies. but i need to know.#i guess saw v mightve suffered bc i watched it basically immediately after iv#something i didnt do with any of the others#but i was told v was one of the good ones so i was looking forward to it. i dont think it was burnout yknow#but uh. i didn't like it. i think i liked iv more honestly. strahm and hoffman do absolutely nothing for me#i liked the traps. that was it though#it felt so pointless and empty. it was the first one where i genuinely wondered why they made it. why did they decide to keep going with#this. i think ii and iv both function more/better as setup for their following films but like. at least iii was pretty good yknow#like both amanda and hoffman's accomplicing feels kinda retconned in but at least amanda's an interesting character#what does hoffman have. what does strahm have. nothing. and no i don't think they have much in the way of homoeroticism either.#i don't tend to be so negative and im sorry if someone goes in the saw tags and feels bad about me talking shit about something they like#because i know that doesn't feel good. honestly i'd love to hear why people like v. maybe it'll change my opinion of it if i look at it a#different way yknow? but for now im just annoyed by it. iv was engaging in the moment but very forgettable#i liked riggs well enough but we barely learned a thing about him. he wasn't a deep character at all and i think that's a shame#but v was just a paperwork-based cat and mouse chase. 90 minutes and it still felt like they were wasting my time#why did strahm go to the old trap locations? i don't think he found anything out there. likr it was just a framing device for the flashback#but he didn't actually have a reason to go there. waste of my time#not an original critique im sure but saw ii on seems to be more focused on scale and layers of shit (i.e. having two games going at once)#than using the traps to examine the characters. i mean you go from two guys in a bathroom for a couple hours#learning about who they are gradually at a slow pace vs like 8 people in a house plus cop stuff plus 90 second traps of dubious fairness#hoffman has no real relationship with kramer (unlike amanda) and basically everyone who'd been following jigsaw is dead and so are jigsaw#and (presumably) amanda. what am i supposed to be here for? the vague outline of a saw trap? the type of torture happening?#im not even opposed to that per se but frankly the more they focus on the cops surrounding this shit the less fun it is#why are you making all the traps like 15 seconds long and tied to characters who aren't the primary focus. it's saw#ughh i miss adam. i miss amanda. hell i miss kramer and he was pretty present in this one (flashbackwise)#whateverrr. anyway that poll comparing chainshippng shotgunnshippng and coffinshippng where shotgun was last? lesbophobic.#im only half joking about that. im sure ppl have their reasons for coffin but i also think it's the tendency fandom bias for “two white guy#ships. but hey maybe vi and onwards will add more context to that that'll make me reconsider. i mean i wouldn't have liked the amanda#accomplice thing That much if i'd only seen ii. i think iii really makes it mesh better and it leads to fun character stuff#(though i still think i would've liked it more bc like. amanda was always grateful to jigsaw right? again hoffman comes outta nowhere)
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I was falling asleep because it's 4:30 in the morning but then a friend that I have a mild crush on texted me and asked what horror movies corresponds to which areas at camp, and clearly Climbing Wall is Vertigo, Aquatics is Jaws and Ecology-Conservation is The Birds, (these were her assignments) but she wanted to know whether Blair Witch fit Scoutcraft (basic scouting skills) or Handicraft (arts and crafts) more, and I said Handicraft because of the figurine things, then she asked what Scoutcraft would be, and full disclosure, I like horror movies but I don't watch a lot of them. I'm picky. Because I don't like gore or zombies and I have anxiety so it's difficult. Okay. So I literally Googled "outdoor horror movies" and tried to find one that I recognized, and thankfully Midsommar was on that list and I've seen and enjoyed Midsommar, so that's what I said. The only other horror movies I can remember seeing are Cabin in the Woods (masterpiece but doesn't fit) and one I can't remember the name of but it's about a video game and has Frankie Muniz and the guy that played Mary Lightly in Psych. And tbh, most of my horror movies knowledge comes from parody episodes of Psych. Especially the Hitchcock episode. I only knew Vertigo because of Psych. This post was a whole lot of inconsequential nonsense, but I get a pass because it's 4:30am and I'm talking to a cool girl.
#okay shes beautiful. one of the kindest people ive met#shes trans. she works at a summer camp. she knows horror movies. we became fast friends#shes so easy to talk to. we met over a one week long event and the rest of our friendship has been over text#its nice to have someone to talk to about horror movies at 4:30am (3:30am her time)#especially Midsommar because i really love that movie. im trhing to find a way to being up Cabin In The Woods#because its truly my fav horror movie and one of my fav movies period. its so good#'but austyn you said you dont like zombies or gore' stfu this movie is the exception#how can you see the travel mug bong. chris hemsworth die via atv over a ravine. the guy getting killed by a mermaid in beautiful irony#and not think that its the best movie ever written#i could talk about that movie for forever#i asked her fav horror movie and im going to watch whatever one she says#even if its gory and full of zombies. im gonna watch it. in my type of strange way of trying to connect#fuck she said the original texas chainsaw massacre. i feel like thats gonna be gory. but im a man of my word#shesaid she doesn't usually have the patience for movies or tv. truly a woman after my own heart#jk jk im really trying not to be weird i promise. but i dont usually have the attention span for movies or tv (especially movies) either#its almost 5am and i should be asleep but instead im not#now im really feeling some horror. i might make the next book i read horror again#if youve read this far and have any good horror book recommendations pls lmk#edit: i read the plot synopsis for texas chainsaw massacre and i cannot watch it. dear god.
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in the power of Noticing Things The Xth Time Around the instrumentals-imitative "doot. doot. doot. dooWAH" vocals that kick in during the second verse of centerfold? superlative
#i've heard the song a fair number of times & always enjoyed it a lot. high energy & fun; a little goofy in great ways in subj & sonic style#it is extremely correct to work w/imitative vocalizations in your music no matter what. put in more. More#(and the Vocal [doot] being on the backbeat as opposed to the Instrumental [doot]....superlative!]#and did i Mention that [verse into chorus] synth line...the drumming underneath it...#even the faux Live Performance psychout ending. a song about a Specific Ass Situation thank fucking god. deserved to chart like that.#also anytime i say Dad Rock i use it fairly neutrally lol. i'm a fan plenty of songs that would qualify; to be more specific#lmao love the instances of [no matter how many ties i hear it i cannot distinguish this sequence into phonemes in a way that corresponds to#words (or words that fit into the context in any comprehensible way)] i.e. went ''okay time to look up lyrics b/c i will always be going:#flowers What about her dress??'' & the line is apparently ''while i was thinking about her dress'' lol love when the revelations of#mishearing are funny like Ah right....and claims it's ''slipped me notes'' rather than ''slipping notes'' but doesn't change too much#being like [i cannot decipher these lyrics] is generally a more fun casual version of ''especial tendency to struggle w/audio processing''#versus like not knowing what tf someone's said in this part in a movie or smthing no matter how many times you hear it#or of course the most A Problem: not being able to parse what's being Spoken in some in-person situation#might be an occasion you can't get anything repeated; might be an occasion where for some reason/s a repeat doesn't even help....#also forever the Idiosyncratic Origin Stories behind [genuine friendships formed when you are autistic] e.g. like yeah one of my good#elementary school friendships? was one where we did parallel play; maybe never or very rarely actually Spoke; our Distracting Each Other#was punished with more of a singular intensity than i ever saw Anyone's ''distracting each other'' interactions....#took years of being at the same job (part time; so not like monday thru friday 9 to 5 Always being there at the same time anyways)#for me & a coworker to start talking & become work friends; then regular friends#their name was angel; so the menace i became when we had such a dad rock station on & these alignments occurred#though i would be engaging in singing along to things in general lol so
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