#like I love the movie but any time I talk about it to someone it's just a bunch of sfdhdsghfgjhsdj

[7ndipity]

Their S/o Has Social Anxiety

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How the members would handle their partner having really bad social anxiety(sometimes to the point where they can’t leave their house)

Warnings: mentions of anxiety and agoraphobia, not proofread

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anon who requested this! As someone who also suffers from anxiety issues, I hope this will bring you some comfort and make you smile

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Jin: Jin also has a bit of social anxiety, so I think he’d really understand your struggle and try to help make you as comfortable with him as possible. He’d happily come to your house to hang out for date nights instead of you coming to him or the two of you going out somewhere, without ever making it feel awkward or like an inconvenience. He would gladly help try and help you broaden your comfort zones if you wanted, but he’d never pressure you to do anything you aren't fully ready to do.  

Yoongi: He’s mentioned in the past about having anxiety issues as well, so he’d definitely understand your struggles to a certain degree. He would do his best to comfort and reassure you to keep you from feeling pressured or overwhelmed if/when you go out together. He would be really good at reading your cues and knowing when you need a break to breathe and recenter yourself, and would sit patiently beside you through any attacks or low points that you might go through. All he cares about is you feeling safe and supported.

Hobi: As I’ve said before, this man is comfort incarnate. He’s so kind and understanding about your anxieties and fears and is more than happy to keep date nights just between the two of you at home to make you comfortable. On the days you do feel up for going out, he stays close by your side the whole time, hyping you up and keeping your attention at least partially focused on him so you don’t get overwhelmed as easily. He just approaches it all with a very light, loving energy that instantly puts you at ease.

Namjoon: Honestly, despite him being quite extroverted, I could see him being super understanding of your anxieties, though he might struggle at times to understand your perspective on certain situations. Lowkey, he becomes your bodyguard whenever the two of you go out, lol, making sure your not overwhelmed and feel calm and secure in your surroundings. When you’re struggling or having a bad day, he’d be soo comforting and calming, even if all you need is a realllly tight hug(his hugs have healing powers, I’m sure)

Jimin: God bless this sweet boy, he would be soo patient and gentle with you, talking softly and keeping a hand in yours the whole time whenever you go out together. He would have no problem with date nights just being cozy nights in, or even just talking on the phone instead on the days when you’re really struggling and find it hard to be around even him. Whatever helps you feel more comfortable and allows the two of you to spend more time together is all he cares about.

Taehyung: Though he seems to enjoy being around people, he’s quite empathetic and would be soo comforting and soothing to have around when you're feeling anxious. He’d be great at combating the guilt/embarrassment that sometimes comes with the fear of social interaction, giving you a reasurring squeeze(if you’re comfortable) and remiding you that it’s okay to take your time and do things at your own pace. He’d set up date nights at home that are so cute nither of you miss going out.

Jungkook: He may not understand the full extent of your anxieties, but I think he would be really sympathetic and acomodating to your needs. Like this dude’s more than happy having a cozy night in, building y’all a pillow fort and bingewatching whatever show or movies you want. He’s super protective whenever you do feel like going out, making sure that you’re as comfortable as possible and taking breaks to make sure you don’t push yourself too far and get drained or overwhelmed.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @feminympho @classicalelephant @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @comingupwithacoolnameishard @bo0ghol @seleneacyoflove @k4ngelz @universal-travel-er

[muxshwriting]

a movie i’ve seen before

Jake Seresin x reader

summary: the impending doom of the end that you can’t avoid and can’t ignore, it’ll always be looming over you || warnings: angst, happy ending, break up, sadness, hints of depression (but not really) || word count: 1689 || masterlist

There was always going to be a time limit on love, you knew that. A small part of you dreamed you’d be able to avoid it. When you met Jake Seresin, everything seemed to slot into place for you. The constant ache in your bones, the tiredness of your mind. All of it was lifted when he would take you in his arms and kiss you sweetly. You were his, wholly and completely.

But he could not be entirely yours.

Jake’s soul was tied to the sky, to the planes he flew. There was no replacing that for him, nothing that could fill the hole that would leave.

You’d graduated from college, set to start your new job that September, leaving you with the summer to enjoy your last months of freedom. You’d travelled up and down the coast, spending your days on secluded beaches and simply enjoying glorious weather.

Jake, newly stationed at Miramar, caught your eye from across the bar one evening and simply couldn’t stay away.

“I’m Jake Seresin. You must be Belle, right?”

“Belle? You must be mistaken, I’m Y/N.” You laughed him off, assuming he had you confused with a friend of his.

“Y/N? It’s only that you’re so beautiful, I assumed you had a name to match. But I must say, yours suits you much better.”

A light blush covers your face as you duck your head to hide it. A few stray hairs slip from behind your ears and Jake gently reaches forward to tuck them back.

“Jake Seresin…” You say his name, mulling it over and meeting his piercing gaze.

He smiles, an honest one, not cocky or flirtatious. “You can wear it out however you like.” He whispers, his voice low as you lean into him.

“You better buy me a drink before any of that, like a gentleman would.”

You had plans to keep travelling but something in Miramar compelled you to stay, or rather someone.

Jake was the very picture of a gentleman, picking you up for dates and driving you home every time. He would cradle your hand with his, unable to hide his grin as he did. The next five weeks flew like the jets Jake loved. You spent every moment you could by his side, entwined with him.

Your souls would dance in the pale moonlight of the nights you lay twisted in sheets and tangled with limbs. But you could sense the impending wrenching of your hearts apart when you had to leave. And as the deadline approached, that feeling only grew.

“Jake…” You had whispered it into the morning air, almost afraid to speak and break the silence.

“Yeah?” He hadn’t even opened his eyes.

A pang of guilt hit your chest as you spoke the words, “I leave in two days.”

Still sleepy, Jake didn’t even comprehend what you were saying. “What?”

“In two days, I’m leaving. There’s a job, in New York, that’s been lined up for me since May. I’m leaving in two days.”

“…What?” He’s blinking away sleep as he sits up in bed and turns to face you. “You’re… leaving?” The pain seeps into his voice before he can stop it.

“Jake-“

Almost as quickly as it had appeared, the pain vanished. “That’s fine.” The coldness had never been directed at you before and it hurt. It hurt like a stab to the heart. He simply turned over in bed, facing away. “Do you need help packing?”

You blinked back tears at his care despite his hurt. “No.” You whisper. “Everything’s set up for me.” You confess. “Jake-“

“We don’t have to talk about it.”

You’d essentially betrayed him, too afraid to tell him the truth in the beginning at risk of losing him despite the fact that you would lose him either way. If you had just been transparent, perhaps there would be a hope for you in the future, but your actions has made that impossible now.

The next two days passed in awkward encounters as the distance between you only grew. Jake could barely even look at you and you couldn’t keep his gaze when he did. Jake could barely even look at you and you couldn’t keep his gaze when he did. You barely spoke. It was as if everything you’d shared disappeared overnight.

The pain in your chest returned with every moment you shared with him but were distant. Perhaps you should have just lied and stayed here, where you were actually happy instead of carting yourself off to New York for a cushy corporate job.

You cornered him the morning you had to leave, a suitcase packed with all your things waiting at the door.

“Jake!” You were practically begging him. “Please just listen to me for two minutes.”

Jake bit back something, his jaw tightening. “Two minutes.”

“I’m sorry. I should have told you before but I was afraid of ruining what we had. And then I ended up ruining it all anyone. I won’t ask for your forgiveness because I don’t deserve it. I just don’t want you to completely hate me?”

Jake takes a sharp breath in. “I could never hate you. I actually loved you, maybe I still do. But it’s too late for us now, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Goodbye Jake Seresin.”

“Bye.”

New York held no happiness for you. The days blurred together and you were begging for something to break the monotony. There was no purpose her, no motivation to do anything beyond the minimum. Months rolled past without so much as a highlight and it was only when snow fell halfway through December did you shake yourself out of your misery.

In your silent evenings, alone in your apartment, you’d cast your mind back to him unconsciously. He was the blinding light in a world of darkness and you had purposely snuffed him out.

Part of you was begging for a call or text from him. Part of you knew that would be the push you needed to abandon everything you’d been working towards for years. This life should be your dream; a job you can enjoy, a community you could grow with, a place where you could find someone to love. You didn’t have the courage to text him first, knowing if he even read your message you would take it as a sign and travel across the country back to him.

Wherever he is is where you want to be. But you can’t. Because you tossed it all away.

Christmas approaches and your work party is uneventful beyond some part games and a few questions tossed around the group.

“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? No money constraints, no time to waste.”

Your colleagues all gave their answers and you answered something about Europe half-heartedly, knowing you would want to be next to him. You supposed Jake was in Texas at this time of year, with his family. But you couldn’t even send him a Merry Christmas text because you were too afraid.

Christmas Day was a bustling day in the Seresin household. Jake was banned from the kitchen, his mother almost throwing veg at him just to get him to leave. He’s been put on babysitting his nephews and nieces while his sisters finished decorating and helping their mother.

Everyone was happy. Jake could distract himself all he wanted, tell himself he didn’t care. But his mind would always wander back to the summer, the perfect summer that would never extend past that. Part of him still blamed you and part of him understood your actions to an extent.

He wished you had told him sooner, just so he could prepare himself for the heartbreak you had brought him. But then he wouldn’t have the precious memories that inhabit his free time. He wouldn’t still hear the echoes of your laughter in his small house in Miramar.

The doorbell rang, not unexpected as a few extended family members were due to drop in at some point and Jake let his legs carry him to the door. He pulled it open, a smile plastered on his face.

But it wasn’t family standing there, it was you. With a small wrapped present in your hands, you stood with your eyes brows knitted together with worry and garaging his reaction.

“Merry Christmas.”

Jake stuttered as he spoke, “What- What are you doing here? You? You’re in Texas? Why are you in Texas?” He stepped out into the chilled air and closed the door behind him.

“I was a fool.” You tell him, “I loved you- I love you. And I threw it all away for a stupid reason and I regret everything.”

Jake didn’t let you mumble and trip over a response any more. You loved him, still. You were here. You took the time to travel from New York to Texas to see him on Christmas and tell him that you loved him even though he might not say it back. You had done what Jake was too angry to do for the last four months.

He surged forward, kissing you with a ferocity that made the world stop spinning. His hands called you with the care you had been absent of for so long and you never wanted to let go.

”I never stopped loving you.“ He said once he pulled back, breathless. “What happened to New York?”

”It doesn’t feel like home and I’m not sure it ever will. I’m applying for a virtual position so I can work and travel or something. From anywhere.” You don’t know if he’ll take you back but you need him to know that you can he his again, who only and completely. You want to be his again.

“You could visit Miramar.”

”I could.”

”Will you?”

Slowly, you nod. “As long as you’re there. I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”

”Would you travel to Texas when my deployment’s done?”

You reach for his hand, the present for him lying on the ground, long forgotten. “I’d travel anywhere if it meant I could spend time with you.“

[bqstqnbruin]

Just Friends - Part 13

Happy last part of this fic! I let Johnny be unhinged in this for my own entertainment.

Thank you everyone who read this fic!!! 💛💛💛

Warnings: alcohol, swearing

WC: 4698

Read the last part here!

Enjoy!

___________________________

“So your profile said you’re a teacher?” Emeline was tired of answering this question to guy after guy, boring date after boring date. She was sitting in front of Luke, a California transplant that she had an ok conversation with on the app and over text. She had hoped that he would be better in person.

He wasn’t.

“Yep,” she responds, nodding as she takes a sip of the drink in front of her, the non-alcoholic one that Luke cringed at while he ordered a cocktail.

“What grade do you teach?”

“Mostly sophomores, then juniors and seniors in my AP.”

“I bet the boys love you,” Luke smirks, Emeline already feeling like she was going to leave the date early. 

“I mean, I don’t think any of my kids have a problem with me or anything.” 

“I would have paid attention in school if I had a teacher that looked like you.” 

Emeline bites the inside of her cheek, pursing her lips and nodding at him. “Gross,” is the only thing she could think of saying. 

The worst part, that was the best conversation they had. Luke spent the rest of the date talking about himself, no longer asking anything about herself while she just nodded and said, “oh, nice,” or, “cool,” or some other unenthusiastic variation of that. 

Emeline gets home to find her roommates watching a movie on the couch, one of the nights where the guys are on the west coast playing late night games that they end up missing instead of watching their friends. Emeline groans as she flops down next to Maddy, covering her face with her hands while Fran pauses the movie.

“That bad again?”

“I got the, ‘I’d have listened in school if you were my teacher,’ line for the third time,” Emeline says, the girls groaning in disgust. “How many times do you think we have to go through this before I actually find someone decent?” 

“I mean, you do have a decent man right next door.”

“I can’t,” she says. “He doesn’t want that.”

“Oh for Christ’s sake,” Johnny groans, throwing his head back against the couch. “I can’t fucking do this anymore.”

“Johnny,” Maddy starts, Emeline seeing a look of panic cross her roommates face. 

“No, Mads, I can’t. Emeline, Jeremy has been in love with you since the moment he saw you. I had heard nothing for months about any topic other than ‘the most beautiful girl with red hair that might live in the building.’ Then he realized not only does this girl live in our building, but she’s right next door. You’re right next door and you three become our friends, and honestly, you, Emeline, get closer to Jeremy than you are with your actual best friends, and he gets closer to you than he is with anyone on the team, while everyone around you watched you while you were falling in love with him, and he was falling deeper in love with you. He has not stopped loving you. You have not stopped loving him. Neither of you will be anything other than in love with each other and so help me, God, I need you two to fucking do something or I’m going to launch myself into the Charles.” 

The girls stare at him, dumbfounded by this outburst. 

“You’re staring at me like that because you know I’m right,” Johnny shrugs, pulling out his phone and scrolling through one of his social media apps. 

“Jeremy still loves me?” Emeline asks out loud, to no one in particular. 

“You are not that stupid that you would think he wouldn’t.” 

“It would be better if you could be helpful.”

“I think I’m plenty helpful.”

___________________________

Ben had texted again, asking to see her. Why she said yes, she wasn’t sure. He said he wanted to take her to some sort of restaurant, the same one she went to with Luke, where she definitely had gotten some sort of mild food poisoning from the dinner she barely ate to begin with. She didn’t want to go.

“Is it too late to cancel?” she groans, flopping on the couch next to Maddy, not caring that it would probably wrinkle her outfit, something that Ben had commented on last time. The bar was literally in hell, and men still couldn’t clear it. 

“What time is he supposed to be picking you up?” Maddy asks, not looking up from her phone. She was probably texting Johnny, Emeline remembering something about the rest of them having plans to go out tonight. 

Emeline reaches for her own phone, three texts from Ben showing up on her screen and making her feel nauseous. “He was supposed to be here in five minutes, but I guess he’s waiting downstairs now.” 

Emeline starts to get up from the couch, Maddy resting her hand on her arm. “You have five minutes before you’re supposed to meet him. If he doesn’t like that, then too bad.”

“I shouldn’t be this nervous for a date, should I?”

“It’s probably not a great sign since you look like you’re going to vomit.” 

Emeline groans again, another text from Ben coming through. All four of them that he had sent since she last opened her phone were asking where she was and if he should come up to meet her, asking what her apartment number was. “I don’t want him knowing which place is ours,” she says, having to force herself off the couch to head downstairs to meet this guy.

She gets into the elevator, a feeling of dread and anxiety washing over her as it goes down to the ground floor. The doors open, Ben standing in the lobby of the building, looking slightly annoyed as he frowned at his phone. “Hey,” she lets out, her voice shaking with a fake smile plastered onto her face.

“You took a while.”

The smile faded, Emeline trying to hide the disgust that she felt. “Well, you said to be ready by six, and here I am, at 5:58.” 

Ben shrugs, turning and heading out the door without saying another word. If only he could stay like that the rest of the date, it might actually be tolerable to be with him. 

Before they can reach the door, Fran comes rushing in, tears streaming down her face.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Emeline stops, Ben groaning at the hold up despite her glaring at him.

“I got fucking fired.”

Emeline gasps, taken aback that Fran’s father would ever even think about firing his top performing employee, his golden child, from the job that was going to help her take over the company when he finally decided to retire. “What?”

“Can you please come upstairs? I really don’t want to be alone right now.” 

“Um, Maddy’s there,” Emeline says, “You want me, too?”

“Please?”

She couldn’t say no to Fran. “I’m sorry,” she says to Ben, rushing towards the elevator she just came down, leaving Ben standing at the door while he called out something stupid about dinner reservations. She didn’t care if he ever texted her again, honestly. 

“Ok, so what’s the game plan?” Emeline asks as the elevator doors close, looking over to Fran who has her phone in front of her face, open to her camera. “You’re not crying anymore.”

“It’s windy. You know my eyes water like I’m sobbing when it’s windy.”

“I hate you.”

“You really think I’d get fired?”

“If you did, you have a great career as an actress ahead of you,” Emeline laughed.

“You seem weirdly ok for someone who just bailed on a date,” Fran points out, pulling her back towards their apartment. 

Emeline thought about it. She should be mad that she spent too much time getting ready for a date she wasn’t even going on now, checking her phone to see Ben already breaking it off with her for bailing, feeling no remorse about the situation. “I think I’ll be ok,” she tells Fran, showing her the texts. 

“After the first date, I’m surprised you even said yes to a second one.” 

“I’m surprised you managed to get her back up here,” Maddy says when they get back to the apartment, Johnny sitting on the couch with her, his arm around her. 

“Don’t you have your own apartment?” Fran asks Johnny.”

“I’m not Keelan,” he reminds her.

“She told me she was fired,” Emeline says.

“And you believed that?” 

“Johnny,” Maddy scolds. “So, now that you’re not going out with Ben, that means you can come out with us.”

“Trent should be here any minute.” 

“Great, so I can fifth wheel your double date?” Emeline laughs, Maddy and Johnny smirking.

“Hold on,” Fran says. “Trent and I are not dating.” 

“But he does like you,” Emeline points out.

“Look at me. Plenty of men do.”

“He’s going to ask you out eventually,” Johnny tells her, a look of panic on Fran’s face. 

Fran scoffs. “We have to fix Emeline before we even come up with fake scenarios for me.”

“I’m not broken.”

“But you and Jeremy aren’t together.” 

Emeline rolls her eyes. “I still don’t want to be a fifth person with no one to sit across from at a table while these two are either looking at each other stupidly in love or actively engaging in PDA and Trent is drooling over you.” 

“We could invite Jeremy. He’s genuinely just sitting in the apartment right now doing nothing.” 

“What if he has plans?”

“Yeah, of course,” Johnny starts, pulling out his phone. “The guy whose teammates are either married, engaged, in serious relationships, or cannot legally drink has plans on a Saturday night when his family is in fucking Alaska and he can’t go on a date with a girl if his life depended on it definitely has plans.” 

“You and Fran really are the same person,” Emeline says, both of them yelling at her for her comment. 

Before anyone can say anything else, Jeremy walks into the apartment, slightly disheveled as if he had just woken up from a nap. “You changed my text tone to the same sound as my alarm?”

Johnny shrugs, getting up off the couch and pulling Maddy with him. “It’s the only way you’d pay attention to me since you’re barely checking your phone any more. Anyway, we’re going out to dinner tonight and we’re just waiting on Trent. Want to change and join us?” 

“Um, I,” Jeremy starts, looking at everyone in the room except for Emeline. 

“Perfect, go change, I’ll help you pick out a shirt,” Johnny says, pulling Jeremy out the door. 

___________________________

“Ok, you need to calm down,” Jeremy says, shaking Johnny off him after he physically pushed him from the girls’ apartment into Jeremy’s bedroom. “What’s going on?”

“You and Emeline are going to finally start dating tonight,” Johnny says, rummaging through Jeremy’s drawers.

“You’re making a mess,” he says, pushing his roommate out of the way and trying to put his shirts back the way he had them. “And what are you talking about?”

Johnny pulls out a shirt and throws it at Jeremy, closing the drawers and plopping himself down on the bed. “You and Emeline have to get over whatever weird thing is going on between you two because it’s becoming fucking insufferable for the rest of us. Emeline keeps going on horrible dates with awful guys because she’s convinced you don’t care about her, Fran will not even consider the fact that she and Trent would have a lot of fun together because she’s so worried about you and Emeline never getting together, and Maddy and I have been sleeping together way less lately because Maddy can’t get over the fact that you are not dating her roommate when, as she puts it, you two are soulmates.” 

Jeremy stares at him, pulling the shirt he was wearing over his head and throwing it into his hamper. “You just want us to make up so you can start having sex again.”

“No,” Johnny protests as Jeremy puts on the new shirt, surprised that Johnny would have picked it out. “I’m doing this because my woman needs to have needs met and her worries to stop and I cannot help her right now because of you.”

“How chivalrous.” 

“Whatever the reason,” he says, starting to run his hands through Jeremy’s hair in an attempt to help combat the bedhead, despite Jeremy swatting his hands away, “You and Em need to get back to normal so the entire group doesn’t feel awkward. It’s weird for everyone that you two can’t be around each other anymore.” 

Jeremy sighs. “I doubt we’ll get together tonight, but I’ll try to talk to her.”

“Thank god,” Johnny says, dragging him back to the girls’ apartment, where Trent was already waiting outside the door. “You alright there, bud?”

“I didn’t think you guys were in there and I didn’t want to be alone with the girls.” 

“Why?”

“Fran,” the three of them say together, Jeremy and Johnny trying to hold back a laugh while Trent looks terrified. 

“You could just ask her out, you know.” 

“What if she says, ‘no?’”

“What if she says, ‘yes?’” Johnny counters, opening the door to the apartment to let the girls know they were ready to go. 

What if she says, yes? For some reason, Jeremy hung on to those words. Johnny was annoyingly smarter than he seemed, and Jeremy knew that somehow what he said to Trent was meant for him, too. 

He takes in a deep breath, walking back into the girls’ apartment to find the three of them running around and attempting to pregame with what appeared to be very little alcohol, Emeline trying to get Fran and Maddy to drink water. 

“Are we going to dinner or to a bar?”

Emeline stops and stares at Johnny, Jeremy recognizing the look on her face that told him she was trying to remember something she knew was gone in the depths of her mind. “Ladies, when was the last time we ate?”

“I had breakfast before I left for work this morning,” Fran said, immediately going back to chugging the wine she had open in front of her.

“I think I ate lunch,” Maddy stops, opening the fridge.

“I think I ate dinner last night.”

“How the fuck do the three of you survive?” Johnny groans. 

“We’re all twenty six, we had to have done something right,” Fran shrugs, putting the bottle in the sink to wash later. “I say we go to a bar that serves food and kill two birds with one stone.”

Trent looks up from his phone. “We’re killing birds?”

“I need better friends,” Johnny says, grabbing his phone and taking Maddy’s hand. “I know where we’re going, come on, idiots.” 

“That’s bold when the three of us have six degrees between us and the three of you have three brain cells total,” Fran says, rolling her eyes and falling in step with Trent as the six of them head down to the lobby of their building. 

“Especially when Jeremy normally has all three of them,” Maddy chimes in, the group of them laughing as Johnny’s cheeks turn bright red at his girlfriend's words. 

Johnny leads the group to the T, taking them on the red line towards who knows where. Emeline sits down in an empty row, another seat next to her. Jeremy stands awkwardly, holding the railing above him. 

“You can sit down, you know,” Emeline tells him, clearly looking as nervous as he felt. 

“Thanks.” He takes the seat, trying hard not to make direct eye contact with her as his leg started to shake uncontrollably next to her. “Um, how,” Jeremy starts, staring down at his lap. “How have you been?”

He sees Emeline nod out of the corner of his eye. “Good. School’s good.”

“Good.”

“You?”

“Huh?”

“How have you been?”

“Oh. Good, too.”

“That’s good.” 

God, he wanted to throw himself into a river. Whatever bacteria the Charles had festering in it had to be better than whatever this feeling was. Talking to this girl next to him used to be so easy. He shouldn’t have to fight internally to find the words to talk to Emeline when he was this in love with her. 

They spent the rest of the ride in silence, Jeremy getting more uncomfortable by the second being near her. He missed her. At this point, he didn’t care if he ever dated her, he just wanted the Emeline who had become his best friend back. 

Johnny calls for them to get off the train as it pulls to a stop, Jeremy practically sprinting off the train and grabbing Trent away from Fran. “I think I need to go home.”

“Why?”

“I can’t be around Emeline.”

“Why?” The two of them fall behind the rest of the group, Johnny leading them to a bar they frequent way too often for their own good.

“I don’t know how to talk to her anymore. Whatever Johnny thinks is going to happen between us is never going to happen.”

“What do you mean you can’t talk to her? You just open your mouth and words come out, Jere.” 

Jeremy stands there, staring at his teammate. “You did pass some classes when you were at Wisconsin, didn’t you?”

Trent shakes his head. “I mean, it shouldn’t be hard for you to talk to her. You two love each other. You’re just in a weird place and you need something to break the tension so you can go back to normal.”

“Normal was me in love with her and her dating Keelan.” The rest of the group goes into the bar, not bothering to wait for the two of them as they continue to talk to each other outside. 

“You know, I don’t know Emeline that well, especially not as well as you do, but I can see why you two love each other. I see the look on her face when she talks about you, that light in her eyes when you get brought up that just fades when she realizes that you two aren’t together and that you two are in this weird place right now. It’s the same look you get when Fran or Maddy mention Emeline. You look like you’re bursting with love one second, then like you’re about to crumble the next.”

“So what do I do about that?” Jeremy asks, looking back and forth between the bar and Trent. 

Trent shrugs. “You might just have to fight it out. Get whatever ew things you’re feeling out in the open.” 

Jeremy laughs. “You had me there until, ‘ew things.’”

“Shut up, you know what I mean. Get everything out so you can get together and the rest of us can finally relax.”

Jeremy lets out a deep breath. “Let’s head inside.” The two of them go in, finding Fran, Maddy and Johnny standing at the bar waiting for drinks. 

“We ordered you guys your drinks, too,” Maddy tells them before they can ask. 

“Where’s Em?”

Fran shrugs. “She said she was going to try to find a table for us, probably somewhere in the back.” 

“Thanks,” he says, rushing off to find her as soon as possible, despite his friends calling for him, clearly confused by the sudden change in his demeanor. He wouldn’t even know where to start telling them what had changed in his mind in the short time between talking to Trent and now; it barely made sense to him. All he knew was that he had to find Emeline. He had to figure this shit out with her now before he was sure he was going to lose her forever.

The bar was more crowded than he had anticipated for it being seven pm. He was pushing through people far too drunk for their own good, feeling like the room was closing in on him as every additional person bumped into him.

It didn’t matter. He had to find Emeline.

He finally breaks through the crowd of people, his heart dropping when he sees her.

She was at a table big enough for all of them, a guy sitting right next to her who looked surprisingly like Keelan. He stood frozen as he watched her smile at him, throw her head back and laugh as he leaned back and put his arm on the back of the booth they shared. She leans back, snuggling into his arm, his hand running up and down on her arm. 

He couldn’t be with her. Not when she was with someone else. He thought he finally had his chance, and he was already too late.

Someone drops their glass behind him, everyone around them drunkenly screaming. Emeline finally looks away from the mystery man who was leaning in already, the color draining from her face when she makes eye contact with Jeremy. 

He couldn’t watch this. He turns to leave, pushing past Trent, Johnny, Maddy, and Fran on their way back with drinks, calling his name. 

It had started raining, a sudden downpour that none of them would be ready for if they left the bar anytime soon. It didn’t matter to him. He barely felt it. 

How could he be so dumb? She had barely spoken to him in months. They had no idea how to be around each other any more. Why would he think that he even still had a chance with her? Why would she want to be with him when she was practically avoiding him whenever she got the chance? Yes, they had those few moments where it felt like everything could be finally falling into place for them, but they were few for a reason.

“Jeremy, wait,” he hears Emeline call out, the sound of her running after him as her feet hit the pavement, splashing in the puddles that were quickly forming on the sidewalk.

“Why?”

“Where are you going?”  

“Nowhere,” he snaps, Emeline flinching. “Home.”

“Jeremy.”

“I’m fine. You’re doing your thing with whoever you want, and I’m just-” 

“You’re what?” she asks after he trails off.

“Alone.” 

Emeline looks at him, confused, her voice getting soft. “What are you talking about? You have all of us. You have your family, your teammates.” 

“What does any of that matter when I’m losing my mind watching the girl I told I love a couple of months ago flirt with other guys and not even think about me when I’m trying everything to try to figure out how you could have told me you wanted me and then changed your mind so fast. Do you think that it’s easy to stop loving someone like you? Do you think I want to sit here feeling like this? Do you have any idea what it’s like to have someone take up every free thought you have when you know they don’t think about you at all?”

“You think that I don’t think about you? You’re all I can fucking think about.” Jeremy involuntarily lets out a scoff, Emeline’s face turning bright red, tears forming in her eyes. He looks away, knowing that he would break if he saw her starting to cry because of him. “You asshole, this is so easy for you to stand here like this is a one way thing, that you like me more than I like you or something.”

It starts to thunder, Jeremy praying that lightning doesn’t follow, Emeline’s makeup just starting to run down her face, her mascara smudging as the rain draws it down her cheeks. He looks up at the sky, knowing that it was better than looking at her. Trent was right, though. “God, Emeline, do you think this is easy? Do you think I like this? We should be in there having fun with our friends instead we’re out here on the sidewalk in the middle of a fucking screaming match. I don’t want to be here if it means I have to watch you hit on someone else.”

“What am I supposed to do? So what if I hit on guys I have no interest in? The guy I want to be with, the guy standing right in front of me, looked me in the eyes back in December  and told me that he and I shouldn’t be together because he didn’t want to be a rebound. Well, guess what? These guys are my rebound. These guys are lining up to be the guy you didn’t want to be.” 

“No shit, I don’t want to be your rebound. I want to be more than that. I want you to be more than that for me. I don’t want to end up as a one night stand.”

“For fucks sake, Jeremy. It’s been since December, you and I doing this awkward fucking dance around each other,” she repeats, “I'm not here for a one night stand. I don’t know how you could think that you would ever be just a rebound to me when you are everything. I don’t want just one night. I don’t want one shot. Fuck, Jeremy, I want chapters, I want a novel, I want you and me to finally be something. If you have spent all this time thinking that I only want the bare minimum with you, then you don’t know me at all. That means we have spent the last how many months trying to ‘get to know each other,’ with nothing to show for it.” 

“Emeline, you have avoided me every chance you get. I have to hope for those few moments when we’re alone and you actually want to be around me. But we can’t even be around each other anymore. It was almost worse than all those other times it was just the two of us. If someone saw us interact, they’d think we had never fucking met before that moment and didn’t want to be around each other any longer than we had to be. Then there are the other times when I try to talk to you, and you avoid me. You ignore me, which I don’t even know if that’s worse or not. Everything I do I feel like I’m losing you more and more. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose you as my friend even though it’s clear you don’t want anything to do with me.” 

“For fucks sake,” Emeline says, stomping her foot on the ground. “Why is this so hard for us? All of our friends are trying to push us together and we can’t figure out how to be around each other.” 

“Maybe they’re wrong.”

Emeline stares at Jeremy, swallowing what he was sure was about to be a sob. He felt himself crying, too, blinking away the tears as they mixed with the rain that ran down his face. “I don’t want them to be wrong.” 

“We have to both want this, then, Emeline.”

“When you die,” Emeline starts, her voice shaking, “Your brain goes on for seven minutes playing back all of your happiest memories. You are my seven minutes. I want you to be all seven minutes, don’t you get that? I don’t want other people. Of course, I want you, too, you fucking idiot.” 

Jeremy couldn’t tell if she was still crying at this point or if it was the rain going down her cheeks. Her makeup was everywhere down her face, but she still looked perfect to him. 

He takes a step forward, raising his hands to cup her cheeks.

“What are you doing?” she asks, stepping back slightly, despite her body getting noticeably more relaxed.

“Will you just stand still?” he asks, taking her face in his hands and finally kissing her. He could feel her smiling against his lips, not stopping himself from doing the same as his hands tangled in her wet hair, the taste of the rain mixing in as their lips moved together. His mind stopped, he swore his heart was about to stop, everything around him stopped as he stood there in the rain, kissing the girl he had wanted to be with. 

***Stay tuned for a Bet on Us ft. Fran and Trent***

[rekino2114]

How about we do a Valentines Day prompt for Wenona~ I freaking love this woman, and I don't even know why. So let's do prompt 25:proposing on valentine's day🩷

Wenona proposing to you on valentine's day

Pairing:Wenona x gn reader

Valentine's prompt#25

Prompts list

"YOU'RE GOING TO PROPOSE TO Y/N!?"

"Shut up ya gremlin, do you want the whole school to hear?"

"It's fine I asked Diana and jett to hang out with y/n so they won't see me setting everything up"

Your girlfriend Wenona was currently talking about her proposal to toshiko, grace and desmond

"This is simply splendid news, love truly is in the air today even more than other valentine's days"

"That's great news Wenona, congratulations, but are you really sure about that? It's a big decision and we're still pretty young"

"Y/n is the person I want to marry. They've been with me ever since I had nothing and have continued to support me all these years, so yes, I am 100% sure. And age shouldn't play a factor in that, if I want to marry them now, I'm going to"

"Pfft, so cheesy"

"And that's why no one loves you"

"What did you say you soybean?"

"C-calm down Wenona, there's someone foe everyone in this world.....even for grace"

"Oi! What is that supposed to mean gremlin?"

"By the way, do you need any help with the preparation? I would be most honored to help such a wonderful couple seal their love forever"

"Thanks kid but it's fine, I already have everything prepared"

"Oh that's nice, could you tell us if you don't mind?"

"Sure, I was thinking of just doing it the classic way, I already have a reservation at their favorite restaurants and the ring prepared, I'm just going to propose after the dinner"

"Oh that's a good choice, an intimate and romantic atmosphere is key for moments like these"

"A bit too cliché if you ask me"

"Like they say, if something isn't broken then don't fix it"

"What's the ring like anyway? Can we see it?"

"And risk one of you breaking it? As if. That ring is worth more than your entire networth"

"Sure, how much can a stupid ring cost?"

"It's 24 carat gold with a 50k dollars worth diamond on the middle"

"F-fifty- the fuck! That's more than I've earned in my entire goddamn career"

"Told ya it was expensive"

"Grace, please tone down the language there's a child around. B-but wenona don't you think that's a bit.....excessive"

"If you think that's excessive, then you're not ready to hear my plans for the wedding"

"You might as well wear a dress made of banknotes while you're at it"

"Hey that's a great idea, thanks for the suggestion"

"I WAS KIDDING!"

"C-calm down everyone, while I might not know what a carat is. I know that there is no price you can put on love, so I fully respect wenona's choice"

"If you don't stop spouting those romance movies phrases I'll tore that fan of yours to shreds"

"N-not my fan!"

"Grace stop it! And Wenona thanks for telling us and I hope everything goes well for you and y/n"

"Thanks, I'm sure it will"

After saying goodbye to her classmate, Wenona went back to her dorm to set up everything, preparing the ring and putting on one of her best dresses. When you came back she told you about her plans and that it was going to be a simple date for Valentine's Day so you agreed quickly and got dressed to go to the restaurant.

The dinner was amazing with Wenona complimenting you every chance she got and telling you how much she loved you basically every minute, you were a bit surprised as she wasn't this loving often, sure she complimented you a lot but this time it seemed different, but you still ignored the feeling and simply continued eating with her.

You finished your last glass of golden champagne and told your girlfriend you wanted to finishe dinner, she simply smiled and said that she had to do something first

"What is it?"

"This"

She suddenly got on one knee, and before you could even react, she pulled out a velvet box out of her pocket and opened it to reveal the most beautiful (and expensive) ring you had ever seen

"Y/n in the time we've been together I have loved you like I love no one else, I know you're with me because of me and not my money or some other dumb reason and so I want to spend the rest of my life with you simple as that, I promise to take care of you and love you forever and all of the rest, I think you can wait for the vows for the entire speech right? Anyway what do you say, will you marry me?"

"A-are you serious?"

"Do you think I would have brought a ring like this for a joke?"

"S-sorry it's just.....really? You want to marry me?"

"Why wouldn't I? You're the whole package, sweet, cute, and smart, I'd be an idiot to not take the opportunity. You still didn't answer me, by the way, even if I probably already know what the answer"

"Yes, yes of course I'll marry you"

"That's what I wanted to hear, now come here"

You got closer to her and she put the ring on your finger, you admired it for a while before you were surprised by Wenona kissing your lips.

The kiss went on for a while, and when you pulled back she started at you with a loving look in her eyes

"I love you my future wife"

"I love you too y/n"

[marshallpupfan]

Movie 3 Predictions

Ever since it got announced, people have been predicting what the third theatrical film will be like. Now that both a leak and an official source has informed us that A) Marshall will be the focus and B) dinosaurs are involved, even more predictions have popped up. Well, I figure I might as well throw some of my own out there. Besides, it's been a while since I've made one of my trademark lengthy posts. 😇

I'm going to try and not go crazy with these. I'm just going to post the ones that jump out at me. Admittedly, it feels like a lot of us have thought the same thing, so some of these might not be anything new.

In any case, here are my predictions. Due to the length of this post, some of the more important parts will be highlighted, in case you prefer to just skim through all of this.

The leak mentioned Mayor Humdinger will be involved. I think he'll find the dinosaurs, and ultimately, he'll try to exploit them. He'll round them all up and transport them back to Adventure City, where he'll hold his new "Hum-Dino-Topia" theme park! Naturally, things will go wrong, the dinosaurs will get loose, and they'll cause all kinds of havoc for the finale. Cue the PAW Patrol to save the day.

Marshall, despite not being all that clumsy in the previous films (especially The Mighty Movie), will suddenly be very clumsy in this one. It'll affect his confidence at points, he'll mess things up during one of the missions, and someone will get mad and question if he deserves to be a part of the PAW Patrol. Maybe he'll even run away, like in "Pups Save a Friend", before returning for the finale.

The metadata in a leaked file, as well as that voice actor audition thing seeking someone with a disability to voice a pup who uses a wheelchair, strongly suggests Rex, from Dino Rescue, will be in the film. Nothing's officially yet, but the evidence is pretty good so far. In any case, if he is involved, I imagine that, like the TV series, he'll be living with the dinosaurs, possibly for most of his life. He might have gadgets, but like his wheelchair, it'll all be crude, until he gets a big upgrade once he becomes a member of the PAW Patrol.

Also, unlike the TV series, the dinosaurs will be on an island, and not some location you have to get to via a cave. Also also, much like The Mighty Movie ignoring 2018's Mighty Pups, I think the movie will flat-out ignore the TV series' continuity again, so everyone will act like this is the first time they've met Rex and seen dinosaurs.

Folks are wondering how they'll address removing the pups' superpowers from The Mighty Movie. Honestly? This might sound cynical, but I think they'll just flat-out ignore it, much like how the TV series quickly moves on from each subseries. They had powers one moment, now they don't. At best, we might get an explanation, but it'll be brief ("It's a shame the crystals ran out of power and now we can't use them anymore.")

Marshall will likely get a backstory. What do I hope we get? Marshall had a rough time because of his clumsiness, and people were mean to him and laughed at the pup a lot. It became too much for him, and with a face full of tears, he ran away. He later stumbled upon (perhaps into) Ryder, and the boy took him in. Despite his new owner, Marshall continued to struggle, which resulted in Chase taking him under his paw to help the Dalmatian. During this time, the two became close, practically like brothers, and his encouragement, love and support helped Marshall to not only do better, but to prove to everyone who ever laughed at or doubted him that they were wrong. In time, he became the firefighter we know today, making both Chase and Ryder proud. Now, what do I expect? Nobody took Marshall seriously because of his clumsiness, he tried to do something dangerous to prove himself, he nearly died, Ryder saved him, and talking about his past right before the finale helps him move on and find the confidence to succeed during the last mission. We won't get any more than that, and it'll more or less follow the basic blueprints as Chase and Skye's backstories.

Given this is Marshall's movie, I expect a massive fire will break out during the finale, which will threaten both humans and the dinosaurs that got loose. Marshall will likely doubt himself at one point, but he'll pull through, figure out a brilliant plan to extinguish the fire(s), and the day will be saved. (I don't expect this at all, but maybe Chase will get wounded and trapped by the fire, making things all the more personal and emotional for Marshall.)

The Poms will be absent. At best, they might get a cameo, reacting to the dinosaurs loose in Adventure City or something.

Liberty will no doubt show up, but I think she'll get less screen time here. She'll stay behind to watch over Adventure City when the pups go to dinosaur island, and then she'll help out during the finale (to guide people to safety and whatnot).

Victoria Vance won't be present at all. If anything, a new villain will pop up to help Mayor Humdinger. Probably a female baddie.

As for the other pups who aren't in the focus? I think Chase will get plenty of attention, and he'll be up front in a mission or two (sadly, I don't think the movie will acknowledge the fact he's best friends with Marshall). Skye will get a bunch of time in the spotlight, due to making sure they get plenty of girl representation in the film. Rubble will still get most of the comedic moments, and he'll ride on top of a dinosaur at some point, to reference that season 2 episode. Rocky will help, but I can't see him getting any huge involvement in the plot, outside of a few rescues. Zuma will get a cool moment, and maybe he'll even save a human or dinosaur in the water, but I don't think he'll get to take out another villain again.

That's about all I have right now. If you have any comments, opinions, or predictions of your own, let me know!

[sallymew4]

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOURE DOING RIGHT FUCKING NOW

EVERYBODY SHUT UP IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[jinyoungtual]

I JUST REWATCHED PIWON MOVIE AND I HAVE THINGS TO SAY

[fabdante]

This is probably just the high of finishing season 2 talking, but like. Can we get whoever did Arcane to do a DMC reboot show? Maybe as a reboot of the reboot? Or at least a sequel?

Like, just. People who love and respect the source material/preboot! But can also take that and craft something good based on those source materials that kinda does its own thing! And is actually good!

Just. My kingdom for some good character writing for DMC stuff. Preboot and reboot, tbh.

I'll be honest I kinda like...idk perhaps I'm in the minority but I don't really want more extended universe dmc stuff? Like I'm firmly in the 'I don't want a DmC2' camp and I'm also not particularly jazzed about the upcoming anime. IDK like more official works on the reboot in particular for me over the years has just become something I'm not interested in. I've spent a lot of time with the material and I've put thought into how I'd like for it to be followed up and I'm just...so confident it would not at all be what I want and it'd leave me disappointed and with a lot of work that would just now feel pointless.

I do, however, realize most of the fandom hasn't been making a like 250k prequel about Kat and Vergil that's been stuck in development hell and would probably not be bothered by any of this asdfghjkl

I do think it'd be interesting to see what Fortiche could do with Devil May Cry, any of the Devil May Crys. Though I'm not sure what they'd do with it given how much less...complex it is I guess? Not that the story has to have as many moving parts as Arcane for Fortiche to do a good job but still. I do think, though, with the new Netflix anime and Fortiche focusing on their own projects and new Riot projects that them doing anything for anyone else is not very likely (very much a shame I'd have LOVED to see what they'd do with Warcraft. The story of Warcraft is so ripe to be cleaned up, fixed up, and released in a comprehensive and coherent way, like the Warcraft cinematics team are incredible themselves but I'm still pretty sure there's only a handful of them. Warcraft just has such good meat in there that I'd really love to see someone else pick up and put together)

If I were to get my dream project from Fotiche on DMC/DmC I guess what I would like is either a much more slowed down and polished soft remake of what we get with the reboot. Like a version of it that really gets to take it's time. Though it would lose a lot of it's campiness asdfghj for good or for bad. For the preboot I mean there's a lot there with the preboot if they wanted to just go through the whole brother saga. Like across the board for both preboot and reboot, given Fortiches focus on writing complex and intense family dynamics that we see in Arcane, it'd be interesting to see how that'd play out in their interpretation because at the end of the day both Devil May Cry's are about like family bonds, both born into and forged, and what loyalty we do or don't have to those bonds and legacies. I think either would definitely be a good series, in the very least.

It's a bummer though as I'm like...really not confident in the new anime and would much rather have this asdfghjk

[thaliagrayce]

just saw the barbie movie and honestly i can't believe there aren't more posts about Gloria??? like i understand that it was The Barbie Movie and Barbie is the main character and it's About Her, but it's only about her because it's actually deep down about Gloria

[skrunksthatwunk]

i just finished saw v and i don't have high hopes for the rest of the franchise (based on what ive heard) but im in too deep to stop now

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I was falling asleep because it's 4:30 in the morning but then a friend that I have a mild crush on texted me and asked what horror movies corresponds to which areas at camp, and clearly Climbing Wall is Vertigo, Aquatics is Jaws and Ecology-Conservation is The Birds, (these were her assignments) but she wanted to know whether Blair Witch fit Scoutcraft (basic scouting skills) or Handicraft (arts and crafts) more, and I said Handicraft because of the figurine things, then she asked what Scoutcraft would be, and full disclosure, I like horror movies but I don't watch a lot of them. I'm picky. Because I don't like gore or zombies and I have anxiety so it's difficult. Okay. So I literally Googled "outdoor horror movies" and tried to find one that I recognized, and thankfully Midsommar was on that list and I've seen and enjoyed Midsommar, so that's what I said. The only other horror movies I can remember seeing are Cabin in the Woods (masterpiece but doesn't fit) and one I can't remember the name of but it's about a video game and has Frankie Muniz and the guy that played Mary Lightly in Psych. And tbh, most of my horror movies knowledge comes from parody episodes of Psych. Especially the Hitchcock episode. I only knew Vertigo because of Psych. This post was a whole lot of inconsequential nonsense, but I get a pass because it's 4:30am and I'm talking to a cool girl.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

in the power of Noticing Things The Xth Time Around the instrumentals-imitative "doot. doot. doot. dooWAH" vocals that kick in during the second verse of centerfold? superlative

[inkskinned]

you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.

but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.

i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.

so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.

you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."

i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"

"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.

i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.

and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.

you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."

"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."

you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.

i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"

"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."

"do i die?"

you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."

"oh."

"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."

i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.

i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.

"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."

i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.

you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."

"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.

you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."

"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.

i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."

you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."

"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."

"you could always die, to be fair."

i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"

"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."

i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."

"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."

i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"

"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."

i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"

i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.

"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."

you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.

you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.

i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

.

[weaselle]

i want to talk about real life villains

Not someone who mugs you, or kills someone while driving drunk, those are just criminals. I mean VILLAINS.

Not like trump or musk, who are... cartoonishly evil. And not sexy villains, not grandiose villains, not even satisfyingly two dimensional villains it is easy to hate unconditionally. The real villains.

I had a client who was a retired executive for one of the big oil companies, i think it was Shell or Chevron. Had a home just outside of San Francisco that was wall to wall floor to ceiling full of expensive art. Literally. I once accidentally knocked a painting off the wall because it was hanging at knee height at the corner of the stairs, and it had a little brass plaque on it, and i looked up the name of the artist and it was Monet's apprentice and son-in-law, who was apparently also a famous painter. He had an original Andy Warhol, which should have been a prize piece for anyone to showcase -- it was hanging in the bathroom. I swear to god this guy was using a Chihuly (famous glass sculptor) as a fruit bowl. And he was like, "idk my wife was the one who liked art"

I was intrigued by this guy, because in the circles i run this dude is The Enemy. right? Wealthy oil executive? But as my client, he was... like a sweet grandpa. A poor widower, a nice old man, anyone who knew him would have called him a sweetheart. He had a slightly bewildered air, a sort of gentle bumbling nature.

And the fact that he was both of these things, a Sweet Little Old Man and The Enemy, at the same time, seemed important and fascinating to me.

He reminded me of some antagonist from fiction, but i couldn't put my finger on who. And when i did it all made sense.

John Hammond.

probably one of the most realistic bad guys ever written.

If you've only ever seen the movie, this will need some explaining.

Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park in 1990, and i read it shortly thereafter. In the movie, the dinosaurs are the antagonists, which imo erases 50% of the point of the story.

book spoilers below.

In the book, John Hammond is the villain but it takes the reader like half the book to figure that out. Just like my client, John is a sweet old man who wants lovely things for people. He's a very sympathetic character. But as the book progresses, you start to see something about him.

He has an idea, and he's sure it's a good one. When someone else dies in pursuit of his dream, he doesn't think anything of it. When other people turn out to care about that, he brings in experts to evaluate the safety of his idea, and when they quickly tell him his idea is dangerous and needs to be put on hold, he ignores his own experts that he himself hired, because they are telling him that he is wrong, and he is sure he is right.

In his mind, he's a visionary, and nobody understands his vision. He is surrounded by naysayers. Several things have proven too difficult to do the best and safest way, so he has cut corners and taken shortcuts so he can keep moving forward with his plans, but he's sure it's fine. He refuses to hear any word of caution, because he believes he is being cautious enough, and he knows best, even though he has no background in any of the sciences or professions involved. He sends his own grandchildren out into a life-threatening situation because he is willfully ignorant of the danger he is creating.

THIS is like the real villains of the world. He doesn't want anyone to die. Far from it, he only wants good things for people! He's a sweet old man who loves his grandchildren. But he has money and power and refuses to hear that what he is doing is dangerous for everyone, even his own family.

I think he's possibly one of the most important villains ever written in popular fiction.

In the book, he is killed by a pack of the smallest, cutest, "least dangerous" dinosaurs, because a big part of why we read fiction is to see the villains face thematic justice. But like a cigarette CEO dying of lung cancer, his death does not stop his creation from spreading out into the world to continue to endanger everyone else.

I think it is really important to see and understand this kind of villainy in fiction, so you can recognize it in real life.

Sweetheart of a grandfather. Wanted the best for everyone. Right up until what was best for everyone inconvenienced the pursuit of his own interests.

And my client was like that too. His wife had died, and his dog was now the love of his life, and she was this little old dog with silky hair in a hair cut that left long wispy bits on her lower legs. Certain plant materials were easily entangled in this hair and impossible to get out without pulling her hair which clearly hurt her. When i suggested he ask his groomer to trim her lower leg hair short to avoid this, he refused, saying he really liked her usual hair cut.

I emphasized that she was in pain after every walk due to the plant debris getting caught in her leg hair, and a simple trim could put an end to her daily painful removal of it, and he just frowned like i'd recommended he take a bath in pig shit and said "But she'll be ugly" and refused to talk about it anymore.

Sweet old man though. Everyone loved him.