#YES we are going with barbie to barbieland. NO i am not going to feel ashamed about it.

[thaliagrayce]

just saw the barbie movie and honestly i can't believe there aren't more posts about Gloria??? like i understand that it was The Barbie Movie and Barbie is the main character and it's About Her, but it's only about her because it's actually deep down about Gloria

[callie-the-creator]

gosling!ken x basketcase!reader hcs

sfw. warnings: feeling excluded, mild angst, but there is comfort bc we looove pre-patriarchy ken. 🫶🏻

author’s note: the barbie hype is most likely gone by the time i post this, but that’s okay! also, you’re a doll, just like ken and barbie but you are your own type of doll instead of being a barbie (like midge and allan)

• when you first arrived at barbieland, it was as clear as day that you weren’t like the other barbies

• i meannn, you do wear a different style compared to the other barbies. instead of bright clothes, you had dark ones that bundled around your plastic body in multiple warm, layers

— totally not malibu beach worthy

• it was…..out of the ordinary. so out of the ordinary that many of the barbies started to compare you to weird barbie (not that you knew who that was, but as soon as you heard ‘weird’, you figured it was best to keep your distance from the rest since it was obvious they didn’t want anything to do with you)

• but not ken. in his eyes, you were different in the way that intrigued him

• he was one of the first dolls to have the gal to introduce himself to you

— “hi! i’m ken.”

— “oh, hello…i’m…basketcase y/n.”

— “so cool.”

• from then on, he stuck onto you like glue. he’d typically spend half the day following you and the other half trying to impress you. you thought it was nice to have a friend, perhaps something more, so dedicated to you

• it felt like you two did everything together. walked around barbieland to take in the amazing sights, played games together (i am a firm believer that ken would let you win every single one on purpose), would go out to places to eat the best plastic food, and you’d even go with ken so he could show you what he does at beach!

• one night, after spending a wonderful day with ken, he asked, “ 🤞 can i come to your house tonight? 🤞”

— it was a night where stereotypical barbie was having a a giant blowout party with all the barbies and planned choreography and a bespoke song. it’s not like you were invited, but you did worry that it could distract ken and possibly get in the way of you two hanging out.

— still. you said yes. how could you say no to a face like that?

• ken decided to throw a party for two (you and him) at the beach where he seemed to be happier, more odd than usual. interested in what could be having such an effect on him, you decide to ask him straight up

“you seem to be in a good mood…” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“only because i got something to ask you!”

your eyebrows furrowed at this. “okay…” you trailed off. “what is it?” you questioned, practically on the edge of your invisible seat.

adorably crossing his fingers, ken inquired, “can i please, please, please be your boyfriend?” he closed his eyes when he asked this just in case there would be a flash of disgust across your face which was far from the truth. you were shocked and surely not expecting that.

“i…sure…i would love that.” you answered.

ken is…well, surprised. he never thought there would be a day when he would finally be someone’s boyfriend. clearing his throat, ken excused himself for a second. he got up and hid behind a plastic palm tree (you can still see him) and suddenly shouted, “at last! the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!”

[harrywavycurly]

An idea that just popped into my mind and y’all please tell me your thoughts on if it’s stupid or not😂 but what about motorcycle “club” Eddie and Malibu Barbie!Reader? Let me give you an example of a conversation with the two of them👀✨💖

“What’s that?” “It’s called a motorcycle.” “And that’s how you get places?…why is it so…not..pink?” “Because this isn’t Barbieland…everything doesn’t have to be pink.” “Okay but that doesn’t mean it has to be boring.” “Boring? It’s a motorcycle there’s nothing boring about it…why do you have a floaty in your hands?” “Oh it’s Sunday…I always take a dip in the ocean on Sunday.” “Uhm…the ocean?” “Yes..I love the ocean…I’m Malibu Barbie!” “Right yeah there’s not an ocean anywhere near us so…you’ll have to settle for the pool at the club house.” “But you can’t surf in a pool.” “Correct.” “What am supposed to do if I can’t surf? I’m…I’m made to surf.” “Are you having a crisis? There’s more you can do than just surf…want to go to the club house or not?” “What if I’m not good at anything else?” “You’re Barbie…aren’t you supposed to be good at…everything?” “I don’t know? I’ve only ever been Malibu Barbie who’s a surfer…oh no…that thing is happening with my eyes.” “Just get on the bike and we will go to the club house and you can take your Sunday dip in the pool and if you still feel like crying I’m sure someone there will be more than happy to listen to you complain about not being able to surf.” “Can I bring my floaty?” “No….you have one there already.” “Oh that’s right…okay yeah let’s go.” “Why do you always smell like vanilla and coconuts?” “I don’t know? Is it bad?” “No…it’s…fine.” “Your hair looks nice today I like the way you put it in a bun.” “Thanks…now put your helmet on and hold on tight.” “Okay…I’ll try not to scream this time.” “That would be nice.”

[scarletmaster143]

Okay here we go

The Barbie Movie 2023: a transcendental experience

I would like to preface this by admitting that I cried essentially throughout the entire movie. I was crying in the first twenty minutes when Barbie entered the Real World and found that it was the complete opposite of BarbieLand. Several other people have made this comparison but the scene where Barbie gets catcalled and harassed on the street, where she feels too conscious about everything (the tea scene with Ruth especially) is so vital because that is how every young girl I have met has felt when they begin puberty. Ken, of course exemplifies the masculine perception, the confidence and esteem that comes with realising that "Men rule the world". The way he is not a bad character but the draw of power is so strong even for someone as "accessory" as a Ken doll and so he goes along with the patriarchal system. Barbie feeling utterly lost after learning that she has not been in fact empowering women as she had thought, rather she was a "fascist". My take is that the criticism against Barbie is valid in that there is little diversity among the dolls and yes there are certain things that can be improved upon. However it is parallel-y true that Barbie can be ANYTHING. Especially in a world where success and happiness have come to be defined by such limited criteria Barbie rightly points out that most girls are ordinary, they are not scientists or presidents or nobel prize winners, however that does not mean they are unworthy of consideration, of respect and of care.

I am unsure what is the broad internet verdict on Barbie but I do believe that the movie encapsulates a very specific feminist experience where it's not that men are at fault for everything, Ken does ultimately admit, along with the directors of Mattel, that he does not want to be in power all the time. However, Gerwig refuses to dictate how men should behave, they will have to go to the Real World themselves and figure it out. Barbie however gets to learn that just saying "I don't want anything to change" does not stop things from changing. As someone who uses the exact same phrase several times, it hit me hard when, despite her best efforts, things kept changing. The loss of control and increasing uncertainty that adulthood brings is enough to make anyone into a Depression Barbie (complete with BBC Pride and Prejudice) but Gerwig also says that just because things are changing does not mean that we are simply helpless. We have people around us, mothers and grandmothers and daughters and Weird Barbies, who are there to support us. America Ferrara's rant about how women can never be perfect or likeable is a cinematic masterpiece- it reflects the constant discourse around what it means to be a modern woman and ultimately puts forward that women can be "anything", they don't need to be only perfect- if nothing they do is perfect then there is no need to desire perfection, they can remain as they are. Sasha was a surprisingly heartwarming character, I was fully expecting her to be annoying. All the Kens were hilarious, of course, the little Sex Education cast reunion was adorable. The style of the movie may not suit everyone's taste, it is loud, over the top and camp as fuck, everything is a reference, the fourth wall is essentially non-existent. But at its core the Barbie Movie is a lesson in growing up- it is a tale of someone who has to find herself and accept herself before becoming a human. Interestingly, Barbie reflects adolescence quite literally (I was half expecting Gerwig to put in a menstruating reference, but it makes sense that she didn't, considering the no-vagina thing) and the last scene where she asks to see her gynecologist is not only symbolic of her becoming a human but also of her becoming a woman. She is a doll in the beginning like pre-adolescent girls are often called but then she goes through terrible things where she is not fully doll, but not fully human, and lastly when she has become human, shedding her doll part. Adolescent girls are rarely allowed to be anything other than perfect "dolls" even when they are having the most terrible period of their lives and Barbie's constant desire to make things return to as they were shows how she also wants to remain a doll, but once she accepts that things need to change she starts shedding her doll nature and starts becoming human. This is still a sad process but now Barbie knows (thanks to Ruth) that no matter what she will be okay as a human.

In conclusion Barbie is not a movie that is of the feminist genre, at least not to me, rather it is a coming of age story for some of the most iconic characters in pop culture.

[zalrb]

Lol I am not that rude anon, but I would definitely like to hear your thoughts on Barbie

Haha no worries.

Like I mentioned, I thought Margot Robbie's performance was great, that's no surprise, that more than anything is what held my attention throughout the movie. Greta being self-reflexive enough to have the narrator note that that scene Barbie cries about not being stereotypically pretty would go over better with someone who didn't look like Margot made me lol but Margot really elevated that scene with her performance anyway so I really felt Barbie's pain, which was good.

Ryan was also able to give a depth to Ken particularly when he treats Barbie the way she's treated him and is like, doesn't feel good does it? so Barbie can feel his pain and we can feel his pain in a more human way.

I did chuckle here and there. When Weird Barbie does that little cackle when she's telling Barbie she'll age and get cellulite and the whole bit around cellulite made me grin. Margot's delivery of "She thinks I;m a fascist?? I don't own a railroad or control the flow of commerce" is I think the only time I laughed out loud.

Like the first thirty minutes were probably my favourite part of the movie.

America and Margot also had really good chemistry so it was cute when they were "shining".

In terms of the movie's themes and messaging, I just shrugged. It didn't move me in anyway.

Movies and shows and books explore the same themes and subject matter all the time, yes, but nothing about the way it was presented in this movie struck a chord with me. Like America had an impassioned delivery of her speech about how hard it is to be a woman and her delivery was great but rather than being like omg yes, I feel so seen, I just felt like oh well this will join the other speeches

and despite the fact that it was supposed to be about every woman and how every woman experiences these contradictory, impossible standards and limitations because Gloria sees this in every single woman she sees, there is an inherent perspective in the writing where I just don't feel spoken to, where I know that this isn't really talking about me and what I experience, and I don't expect or want a Greta Gerwig movie to try and speak to me and my experience but that's also why I knew I was going to be indifferent about these aspects of the movie.

If you want to ask about the inherent perspective that is just present in everything despite the generalized language of the script and despite the fact that it's more a movie about the human condition, it's the type of perspective that thinks comparing Kens taking over Barbieland to when the Europeans infected Indigenous peoples with smallpox is a clever and perfectly OK line of dialogue and those types of comparisons happen in shows like Gilmore Girls like when Lorelai made a KKK reference in relation to Emily and the homeowners' association (LORELAI: Or if that doesn't work, you could throw some hoods on and burn a full-size Mars bar on their front lawn.).

And then the others themes about equality i.e. how Kens in Barbieland feel like/are treated like women in the real world and neither way is presented as the way things should be and the messaging that merely existing is enough (and great!) and you don't have to be an astronaut or a doctor or a president and that's OK or you can be an astronaut or a doctor or a president and that's OK too (especially if you can commodify that and make it a doll!) and how insecurities and fear can lead to toxic masculinity, and how you are your own identity not what society puts on you, that's all there but not in a way that I found particularly resonant or even heartfelt to be honest (and I mean, the writing, I think Margot's performance as well as Ryan's was heartfelt) it just felt like going over well-trodden ground.

In the end, there were moments I enjoyed but it's a movie I'm going to forget quickly.

[robzombies-hotwife]

I saw Barbie last Friday and here are my honest thoughts about it:

Pros

Visually STUNNING

Hilarious

Heartfelt at times

Good acting

The basic premise of Barbie Land and Real World existing together was cool

Cons

The plot is completely incoherent after a certain point in the movie. Barbie needs to go to the real world to save the girl playing with her. No wait, she needs to bring that girl to Barbieland to escape the evil executives! The executives want to put her "back in the box" for reasons unexplained. Oh wait, now Barbie needs to save Barbieland from the Kens! Now Barbie suddenly wants to become human even though that desire is NEVER brought up at any point in the film before the last 10 minutes. And then the movie just sort of... ends. Every plotline besides the Kens (the rift between worlds, the plans of the Mattel executives, Gloria's emotional state, etc.) is dropped with no resolution.

The subplot with America Ferrera and her daughter is severely underdeveloped. If you want to make a point about mothers and daughters (like the line from Handler to Barbie), maybe you should actually develop the mother-daughter relationship we see in the film? Both characters needed more development as individuals as well, particularly as America Ferrera's emotional/mental state is supposed to be the driving factor that forces Barbie into the human world. I will also say that as well-written and well-acted as Gloria and her daughter's big speeches about feminism were, they didn't feel like natural human dialogue at all.

The film's feminist politics are similarly muddy. America Ferrera's speech was well-acted and well-delivered, but it doesn't make sense HOW any of the Barbies would emotionally connect with it (besides our main Barbie, who has seen and experienced the human world). "Having it all" and looking hot while doing it is not and will never be a problem for Barbie dolls, so why would speeches about it snap them out of the brainwashing? Similarly, why would they have such a fear and disgust of cellulite, something they don't even experience, at the beginning of the movie if they don't know about patriarchy yet? Is the director trying to say that an inherently female trait is caring about this, doll or human?

Similarly, how did the brainwashing work? Because Ken said that the Barbies became docile, vapid servants for the Kens as soon as they learned about patriarchy which is... not a great message to send if you're writing female characters we should root for. Yes, real human women can behave in ways that contribute to our oppression (I am not exempt from this at all). However, we have thousands of years of patriarchy influencing that behavior. I'm sorry, but if matriarchy is all they know, the smart, competent Barbies are not going to suddenly buy into patriarchy just because Ken gave a presentation on it. Why would they suddenly start acting stupid to win the Kens' favor when prior to that, nobody cared about their boytoys' opinions?

What is Barbie's motivation to become human at the end? "Well, she feels like she has no place in Barbie Land as she doesn't have a role outside of being pretty" that's literally not a good enough explanation when "you can be who you want to be! Ken or Barbie, you can find yourself!" is the main message of the film before the ending. I felt like Ken and Barbie were given directly contradictory messages. Ken's was "you don't have to just be Barbie's boyfriend or a macho asshole! You can do anything!" and Barbie's was "Ah geez, you really CAN'T do anything since you don't have a pre-determined career role in Barbie Land. Yes, this directly contradicts America Ferrera's speech from earlier about the pressure on women to 'have it all.' Uhhhhhhhh become human I guess?" If Ken could find himself without having to leave his home in Barbie Land, why couldn't Barbie? I wish there had been more and clearer scenes of Barbie falling in love with being human to really connect the ending to the rest of the film.

Overall, I'd give it a B-. The film's visuals, humor, and acting have to work hard, but manage to balance a mediocre and confusing plot. I'd see it again as I quite enjoyed it and had fun watching it, but I definitely wouldn't count it as the greatest film of all time or a feminist masterpiece.

Before the "omg you're so mean!!! just turn off your brain!!! let people enjoy things!!!" comments, let me just say that any film which hypes itself up as a social commentary is not exempt from having its quality examined just because the director is female and it's marketed towards women.

[jessiicaroseee]

Being a woman is beautiful.

I watched the new Barbie movie, written and directed by Greta Gerwig, and it couldn't have captured the essence of femininity more perfectly. 5 days after release, here are my thoughts:

Going into the film I expected to experience a fantastical, over-the-top depiction of Barbie where I would be greeted with a light-hearted story. Instead, whilst also laughing at the absurdity of all the Ken's, I was hit with a wave of emotions in reaction to the didactic message which tackled the hardships of womanhood. Greta Gerwig cleverly incorporated hard-hitting topics relevant to females in a blanket full of light pink, mojo dojo casa houses and beach offs. This movie also emulated the beauty of girlhood and what it means for a mother to watch that blossom (and also be tarnished by men).

What really hit home for me, and probably for most women reading this, was when Barbie entered the real world and was instantaneously hit with ludicrous catcalls, a man groping her and members of the police not taking her seriously; all because of her looks. Oblivious to what was happening to Barbie and how uncomfortable she was, Ken of course enjoyed nothing but respect. It was Barbie's reaction to what was going on around her that pulled on some heartstrings as she was left confused and overwhelmed: the real world is clearly not the same as Barbieland, where women live in peace. Ultimately, it made me ponder on catcalling in our society and how it's one of the examples of how our girlhoods first experience a tarnish made from men. As women, we should be able to freely walk (or roller blade) down the streets without feeling like we're being looked at or being called horrible names regardless of what we wear and how we look. It. Should. Not. Matter.

I also want to shed light on America Ferrera, who played Gloria, and her heart wrenching monologue which beautifully captures how impossible it is to be a woman. Some of my favourite lines include:

"we always have to be extraordinary, but somehow we are always doing it wrong"

"You have to answer for men's bad behaviour which is insane, but if you point that out you are accused of complaining"

"I'm just tired from watching myself and every single woman tie themselves into knots so that people will like us"

"if all of that is true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know"

As the cinema fell silent during this scene, I looked around to see everyone wearing pink including myself and realised that we are all connected. We have all felt the same pain Gloria expresses. We all just need the love that heals us from that pain. At this point, I completely broke down into tears where I grasped how institutionalised misogyny is in our society; we know it's there, but not many care that it's an ever lasting problem. Of course we have gained more rights as time has progressed but clearly it is not enough as Greta Gerwig has shown. Yes, I am proud to be a woman but I am not proud of its hardships and the male audience that has watched Barbie has only seen a glimpse of what it's like.

Speaking of men, I cannot go without mentioning the meaning behind Ken which was effortlessly played by Ryan Gosling. He perfectly captured the dopiness of Ken which was incredibly hilarious however I wasn't expecting Ken to be depicted as a villain. In the film, Ken's adventure in the real world consists of discovering the patriarchy and how men have power rather than women unlike Barbieland; he understands how he can gain purpose. Unsurprisingly, Ken (like any other man who tries to gain power) takes over Barbieland and makes it a Kendom. He completely ruins what all the Barbies have worked for yet it's excused as his overwhelming love for his Barbie, wonderfully played by Margot Robbie. This triggered my second breakdown when after all of Barbieland is restored, Barbie is still obliged to apologise to Ken and helps him to find his purpose without Barbie. If this isn't a true depiction of the real world then I don't know what is. In no way was Ken's downwards spiral concerning the meaning of his existence Barbie's responsibility. He could've built a separate world to Barbieland which would instigate equality between the lands, but he had to ruin Barbie's creation for his own enjoyment. This is exactly what it's like to be a woman today. We have to apologise for men's behaviour. We have to tell the truth but if it's not the truth that men want to hear then we're deemed as bitches. Is that fair? The answer is resounding: no.

Despite having the impossibilities of a woman being hurled at you left, right and centre, one can clearly see that being a woman is beautiful at times. Through the interaction with Barbie and an old woman where she calls the woman beautiful. Through the montage of all the videos of the female cast when they were young with Billie Eilish's song 'What Was I Made For'. And of course through Gloria and her daughter Sasha rekindling their relationship, all of these are moments that we imitate in our lives that what makes being a woman so precious. So, Barbie is not just about the hardships of being a woman. It's about being a mother, experiencing a girlhood and being surrounded by those you love. Tarnished by men and their nature to get what they want out of us, we forget about the beautiful things that make us who we are and those precious memories that follow with it.

I will definitely be watching Barbie again as it has taught me many valuable lessons which will aid me to navigate through life as a woman. This film is definitely an Oscar worthy performance.

[dreamers-queen]

At this point I'm not sure if y'all are purposely ignoring what is actually being criticized - by men AND women, too - or if you honestly don't get it because it would make the movie not so good anymore.

I'm putting this under a keep reading because there will be spoilers.

I'm already seeing guys complain about the Barbie movie end, how they wanted Kens to be equal in Barbieland but were only given a small part on the Cabinet. That's the point.

True. I'm a woman, and I wanted the Kens to be equal. Because I believe in equality, you know. Because movies are supposed to send positive messages and be inspirational. Because ultimately, a girl can dream.

The movie said no, the Barbies are gonna keep all the power and maybe concede some crumbs once in a while. Yes, this is supposed to mirror the overexaggerated patriarchy of the real world, I get it.

But it was never presented as a problem.

It was presented as the Barbies re-establishing the "correct order of the things" and refusing to make Barbieland going towards an egalitarian direction. Because of course, those who have the power want to keep it. The Barbies were the conservatives here. The patriarchy is bad (duh), the matriarchy is good. Equality? We don't know her.

How am I supposed to root for them knowing this?

Men, you're meant to be upset. You're meant to question it. Because you're meant to feel it, and feel what that is like, so you can finally understand women. You're upset at seeing it in a movie, now imagine living it in reality. That's being a woman.

Being a woman presents unique challenges. Being a man does too. Men are upset at being depicted as evil, stupid and destructive solely for being men. They're upset as such depiction being presented as smart, progressive, feminist and ultimately desirable. And you know what? They're right.

This is retaliation, not equality.

No movie ever would be praised for presenting women as dumb, evil and destructive. Even if it was meant to be an overexageration made to criticize mysoginy. It would be unacceptable. Why would this be good?

It's exactly why the real world was an exaggerated Partriarchy and Barbieland an exaggerated Matriarchy. Neither wins. Neither is equal. None of them change for the better. It's why you should want women in the real world to be respected, and Kens in Barbieland to be respected.

Yes, and the movie failed all the line to convey this message. The Kens being pushed aside again is presented as how things should be. So what am I supposed to think, that women coming second irl is how things are supposed to be, too? Heck no. I'll take both ideas and dump them in the trash, thanks.

I'll be mad at the movie for having presented a mirrored inequality as positive and desirable.

An equal ending would have been The Doll's World (find a name, Idk Idc) giving power to the Kens and the Barbies. They can do it. And inspire the real world to follow the lead.

It was easy. But I get it, it wouldn't have been as easy to be sold as a progressive take. It's actually not progressive at all.

I mean, think about it: the Kens manage to establish their patriarchy made of watching movies and riding horses in what, a day? They managed to take the intelligent, powerful, strong Barbies and turn them into submissive empty shells - which is what the Kens used to be and will go back to be, and they lived happily ever after - in a day??? What is this supposed to mean, that even the most intelligent women are still not intelligent enough to stand up for themselves and need a savior from above reminding them they're worthy?

Well, that's fucking depressive.

Look, I don't want to bash this movie. I had fun with it. I'll probably go back to watch it with my girl friends, and we'll bring the boys too.

But I won't praise it as an egalitarian movie because it's not.

What About The Kens?

I'm already seeing guys complain about the Barbie movie end, how they wanted Kens to be equal in Barbieland but were only given a small part on the Cabinet.

That's the point.

Keep reading

[diomedrian]

In my dream, it's CB's birthday. In my dream, the sky is the bluest blue, it's the best weather ever - think Barbieland. We finish lunch - it's fine dining, the napkins were swans, it's roof top, there's pool and hali-pad next to the tables. He drinks his wine and says, come on nay I expected a louder party. Where's the wham bam and laughs. I check the time, still 10 minutes to go. I only smile, it's coming. Few more conversations and he's standing up, don't do that yet please don't go just get hold on I promise it's worth it. He's left for the washroom. It's seven minutes past, he's taking too long. We've boarded the aircraft - except it's like in the movies, there's enough space to stand and watch from the back, there's a glass wall in the back. I call him, it's time. In a minute, he says. We need to take off, being on land for the beginning will feel like the most disturbing earthquake, says the pilot. Let's go we can pick him up later, says a friend (his sister? I'm not sure, there's too many people I didn't think would be here). But it's for him, I say. Let's go, round two nay. We'll pick him up then. So we're in the air. We're flying. We watch the restaurant get further and further, we watch the city quiet down. It's time now. On the left, smoke. On the left, a splash of orange. Oh my god that was close, someone says. It wasn't, we're at least a kilometre away from it. Smaller splashes, bigger smoke. It's a grey cloud. The lava is shooting through and up above before falling everywhere. The smoke has turned all of the weather into the morning after Diwali in Delhi. Good time to pick him up? Asks the pilot, I call him, yes. We headed back to the restaurant, I held out my hand, you're late. He raises an eyebrow, yknow I actually did not mean wham bam for real I was joking. Yes I'm aware, I thought it would be fun, come on now, I pull him onboard. We're flying across the volcano, watching it erupt, watching the lava come down to the earth, the houses will be lost, the restaurant will be lost. The city was made to rebuild from volcanoes, the city was made for this experience. It's not a real loss, there have been seventeen of these in the past three years. There are no real people here besides in the planes, we're not alone as the magma covers the city. The lava is still erupting, we're here for hours.

Meanwhile, in another dream(?) the statue of barbie turns to life. It's the biggest one in the city, she only does this if there's terrible trouble. She changes out of her dusty clothes, she takes the taxi, her hair is so shiny, she's passing through the city. I'm watching the news in the lap of an old friend. We were friends for eighteen years before we parted for college irl. She was the first person I called after the high school break - and I am crying now - did we break up then? There's tears on my cheeks and in my eyes but I don't remember crying. She touches me everywhere over my clothes. It doesn't feel right - where is he? why is he not the one fixing this? I don't say anything. At least she's here, at least I will stop crying soon.

[harrywavycurly]

Sarah I’m Malibu Barbie just crying because I don’t know what I’m doing with my life and I’d love a mean Biker Eddie to just tell me to hush and get on his bike😭😭😭

Hiii babes!! That is such a mood😂🙈 how about I give you some random times Biker!Eddie has told Malibu Barbie!Reader to stop crying💖

“I’m gonna go to the store do you…what are you doing?” “I’m making coffee? Is…that what it’s called? The brown stuff that you drink out of that mug that says world’s best lover on it? Congratulations by the way that must be so cool to be so good at loving people!” “Uhm thanks…but yeah that’s…coffee but uh what are you doing with the carton of milk?” “I read you use milk for coffee?” “Yeah but that’s after you’ve made it.” “After you’ve made it?” “Did..please tell me you didn’t put milk in the coffee maker.” “Why wouldn’t I tell you if you asked me? That would be lying.” “Jesus…you used milk instead of water in the coffee maker?” “Yes? So it’ll taste good…why are you looking at me like that?” “You don’t use milk in the coffee maker you use water…milk is for the coffee once you’ve made it and put it in your mug.” “Oh no…you’re mad….oh no no no this isn’t good.” “Oh fuck here you go…” “I just wanted to do something nice.” “Stop crying okay? It’s fine you just need to clean the coffee maker and use water…instead of milk.” “Clean it with?” “Soap and water…did they really not teach you how to clean in Barbieland?” “There’s no such thing as mess in Barbieland so…why would I know how to clean?” “Whatever just…stop crying it’s going to be fine…thanks for…trying to make me coffee.”

“I’m ready.” “You’re not.” “I am.” “No…you’re not.” “Eddie this is my go too swimsuit it was designed just for me so yes…I’m ready.” “That’s great but half your ass is hanging out so no…you’re not wearing it therefore making you not ready to go to the pool party.” “You don’t like how I look?” “That’s…not what I said.” “Is that what you meant by what you said?” “No…” “then what did you mean?” “I mean I don’t feel like fighting half the club tonight so please go put on a normal swimsuit that doesn’t show so…much.” “This is a normal swimsuit…I’m Malibu Barbie all I wear are swimsuits half the time!” “Then we aren’t going….don’t even think about crying” “i want to go to the pool party!” “Did you just stomp your foot at me?…go change and we can go…don’t you have a wetsuit miss surfer girl Barbie?” “It’s Malibu Barbie…and yes I do…if I put it on can we go?” “Yes but only if you stop crying.” “Okay!”

“I don’t want to do this.” “That’s cool I don’t remember asking if you wanted to or not.” “Why do we have to do this?” “Because we have to go to the store and this is how I get around so just put the helmet on and let’s go.” “But I don’t like it.” “Do you want new nail polish or not?” “Yes…I’m out of pink.” “Then get on the damn bike and let’s go.” “You drive too fast…it’s scary.” “Oh for the love of god are you crying?” “I can’t help it you’re yelling at me.” “Trust me you’d know if I was yelling at you…now please put the helmet on…I added some new pink stickers to it just for you.” “Oh you did?…it’s so cute!” “Figured you’d like that…can we go now?” “Yes…sorry if I squeeze too tight.” “It’s fine.”

[douglysium]

I think there are some solid questions hear but I feel like most of the questions miss the point of the movie. For example “what is Utopian about a world without sex.” I don’t think it was ever implied that the world was totally or in part a utopia because of a lack of sex the reason it lacks sex is because the characters are dolls/toys. I guess you could argue that weird Barbie mentions being horny for a Ken I guess but they don’t have private parts anyway so I don’t know how they would have sex to begin with.

The reason a utopia needs a Supreme Court is because it’s operating on toy logic and it’s the same reason that a kid my have doctors and stuff in their imagination but if you need an actual reason it’s probably so stuff doesn’t devolve into something worse or to greenlight certain projects or something. I guess this depends on what you consider to be a utopia and if needing some form of government or leadership would automatically make something not a utopia. Like are you arguing a utopia would have no need for laws?

In regards to their comment on powerlessness I’m a little confused. Yes being powerless doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like shit nor does it mean your worthless or aren’t useful in other ways but are they arguing powerlessness is a good thing? I think people deserve to have at least some power over their lives and I don’t think being powerless and always at the whims of someone else is always a good thing especially if we are talking about Ken’s attempt to make an entire group of people in their society powerless. I think having a certain level of power and autonomy is actually a good thing that people should have when possible. For example, things like bodily autonomy or power over your own body. The problem with powerlessness is that I guess by default it’s all well and good until the person with the power is an ass, does something at your expense, or doesn’t care about you at all really.

I don’t really understand the point about the ‘flattering top’ because people can just fine things pretty or nice to look at in the same way they might find the sunset beautiful. There is an argument to be made about wider objectification or beauty standards I guess but I am not the person to talk about that. All I’m trying to say is that a society without sex could probably very easily find clothes cute, pretty, beautiful, flattering, etc.

I don’t think it’s ever stated or implied whether Barbie is asexual or not and normally I wouldn’t bring this up because if you want to read Barbie as asexual that’s all well and good but I think this ties into the author’s previous point about how they believe the movie portrays the society as utopian because of an explicit lack of sex. Barbie could have very easily been straight but just not interested in Ken(as at least some of the dolls in Barbieland can clearly feel attraction towards each other). Both being asexual and not interested are both equal possibilities so in that regard I don’t think the movie itself explicitly states that asexuality is objectively good or bad per say. The point was that Ken needed to learn to take no for an answer and find value outside of dating Barbie. Also there’s a comment on the expectations that guys are supposed to get the girl in the end or being encouraged to be persistent even when they should just move on or take the hint. Also, there’s a difference between being a “good worker” in the sense of being a kiss ass and being a “good worker” in terms of just being qualified for your job. I mean weird Barbie is also slovenly, crass, and explicitly horny, and yet she’s portrayed as one of the good guys unlike Ken because she’s using her abilities to try to uplift people instead of oppress people.

I’m not going to go through every point because some of them I agree with, some of them I need to think about, and some of them I just cannot speak on but those are just my immediate thoughts and sorry if I’m coming off as just purely negative towards the author. I just feel like they missed a lot of points of the movie. If I was to critique the movie well 1. It’s still run by a massive corporation so you always have to be wary but as for something about the movie itself 2. Barbie at the end of the movie is still run by a bunch of men who only care about the bottom line and they never really address that or change anything. One of the characters just pitches 1 idea to the CEO that they take but the movie never alludes to or addresses to any substantial change in that regard. I’m not blaming the writers or artists in that one, I assume you can only talk so much shit about the company you work for(and it’s impressive that they even could go as far as they did), but it’s still a flaw in that it potentially conflicts with the rest of the message imo.

x

[huhhugh]

Ok, so I see alot of horseshit in the fucking notes of this post and let me just say, although this movie was quite well executed, ultimately the story is that ken was neglected and ignored by literally everyone around him and snapped before getting told to shut up and go back being stomped on, let's elaborate shall we?

In the beginning of the movie it is explicitly stated that "ken only has a good day when Barbie looks at him" and you could, if this were the real world, say that he was basing his life around Barbie to an unhealthy degree, but this isn't set in the real world it's set in Barbieland, a place where ken was made to serve functionally the same purpose as a tote bag, he is an accessory to Barbie by design so I would say he is basing his life around her as much as he was made to, but that she doesn't care about him, at all, not even as a friend (because I think alot of people see this as ken being mad about friendzoning) but the thing is you would not treat friends like she treats ken, for instance take a second to flip the roles of Barbie and ken throughout the movie, and suddenly it's super misogynist, and of course you could say that we only have one day to look at in Barbieland but the things we see are called out to be normal if not constant so I would say it's fair to call it a representative sample, ken is ignored and belittled constantly when he just wants to hang out with someone who, supposedly, enjoys his company (y'know like friends do) but Barbie is constantly patronising to him at every turn she thinks he is lesser and you see it in her every action, and as the movie moves into the real world segment we see her getting harassed instantly which, would not happen realistically because it isn't socially acceptable anymore and you would get in trouble for it, at most you would get quiet leering which while uncomfortable I can say as a woman myself doesn't even make top fucking 25 of my biggest problems that I experience, and frankly if being leered at is your biggest problem I'm putting you into one of two boxes either

A. Leering is triggering to you due to past sexual assault

B. Leering is a big problem simply because it makes you uncomfortable

And if it's A, valid you're chill, but if it's B, go fuck yourself if it makes you scared get stronger I'm sick and fucking tired of people just waiting to be helped, people don't help unless it's convenient, it's the sad truth so if you want something done, if you want to feel protected, protect. Your. Self. And yes this may not work for everyone and yes, I am, functionally telling you to get PTSD and move on but you don't get to look at me, an autistic trans woman with PTSD and DID and say people making creepy comments is The Big Problem Of Society, but I digress. Now let's move forwards a bit to where they get back and ken rules barbieland so lemme start with mojo dojo Casa house is in fact fun to say and I'm sorry you hate having a good time and he does in fact look neat and I am, once again, sorry you hate having a good time, and he specifically says something to the affect of (although I forget the specific wording) 'oh it sucks when it's you huh' because this is how ken was treated, he was the one begging for attention just to feel like he had worth and he was the one who is heavily implied to NOT HAVE A FUCKING HOUSE in the Barbie dream world, and when the Barbie's are being un-brainwashed they talk about various societal expectations (that I will add aren't exclusive to women but I'll elaborate in a bit) that they 'have' to confirm to, but the thing is yeah, it sucks and you end up on the outs but you can in fact break them and live, and I know this because I think all societal norms can go die in a fucking hole regardless of who they're about, if you abide by societal norms that hurt you that is decision you are making and I'm not gonna say that anyone but you is taking your agency. And the societal expectations for men are equally strict, men are (if they want to be considered 'good') expected to be emotionally available but not clingy, and open but not expecting help, supportive and feminist but not subservient, strong but not angry, and there are others but they slip my mind, social norms hurt everyone and, like any good ruling class seek to make everyone think it is everyone else's faults so they can't take a second to take down the actual architect of their suffering, and let me also say the ending where he was crying, if you listen you can hear the Barbie's making sounds of disgust as he goes to cry which let me just say, GO FUCK YOURSELVES, do you how goddamned often the message that '''boys don't cry''' is perpetuated??? FUCKING CONSTANTLY. And then Barbie is so goddamned condescending the whole time she's talking to him up there, its fucking nausea inducing, once again, take one goddamned second to switch the genders in this movie you goddamned blind assholes, and this isn't even touching on how, when you take the way they treat/talk about weird Barbie combined with how they treat/talk about ken shows that they just want conformity, the Barbie's are absolutely the fucking villains of the movie, and the moral the movie perpetuates is that there will always be an abusive power structure but hey, at least you can be top dog now.

In summary ken deserves better than he got, the only good Barbie is weird Barbie, and the true villain everywhere is gender essentialism and idealized normalcy being used to crush those who don't fit.

note: this take actually adresses some sensitive topics, including some that i didn't know how to tag, but may require content warnings - so just be careful

also, i had to post this early because for some reason tumblr kept deleting this specific post every time it was queued or saved as a draft

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT

TOURNAMENT OVERTIME #182

Submission 527

the Barbie movie (2023) was horrible

[SUBMITTED JUSTIFICATION UNDER THE CUT - PLEASE READ]

Propaganda is encouraged!

Also, remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

Submitted justification:

unfortunately this is a dead serious take of mine. that movie was a story of a horrible tragedy portrayed as justice. and the subtle violent radfem undertones were deeply uncomfortable. my reasons for disliking it are very complicated and personal, so I'm going to try and keep this brief and try to avoid saying anything too charged.

i understand liking it— it was a very fun movie! the way they did the practical effects and props and setting were all genius and very cool!

but.. the way they handled Ken and his struggles felt extremely minimizing, cruel, and violent. I've *been* the reject kid before. I *know* what that's like. I've been humiliated and degraded before for being too much, for having ADHD, for being autistic, for wanting to be included in friend groups that didn't want me.

ken's story is a *tragedy* of a person who dared to ask for love and inclusion, who dared to ask over and over until the only option left to him was to be made into a villain for it. and instead of realizing that maybe, just maybe, this was a cry for help... that maybe, this was the last straw in a long long long line of instances of horribly cruel social bullying and humiliation.... that maybe Ken never wanted to hurt anyone, that maybe he just wanted everyone to see how much he was hurting, that maybe he never wanted power or violence, but empathy instead.... instead of considering any of at, the movie has Barbie and her friends *laugh* at his suffering, and watch him on the brink of tears with the grim satisfaction of a bully that got away with it.

i came away from this movie thinking, what should Ken have done better to avoid this? what could he have done to be truly accepted? what was the "good" choice, if what he actually chose was actually so evil?

and the answer is, nothing. he was spending his entire life serving and worshipping a group that wanted him quiet, polite, and dead. from personal experience, this is the kind of friend group that would probably find it at best a personal irritant, if he had attempted suicide.

this movie was so hurtful. it really felt like they said "people like you are better off dead or behaving like perfect mindless dolls, because when you try to get what you want, you just bother the people around you." conform or else.

i know people get icky when people claim that misandry exists, but.... consider the plot of this same movie, if ken had been one of barbie's girl friends. or if ken had been a trans girl. or hell, even a trans girl egg. i just see people only praising this movie and... no one seems to acknowledge how unnecessarily, brutally cruel they were to Ken, and how little empathy he received both from the general audience and from the writers and Barbie herself.

[lawrencegarte]

okay this review is consuming my mind honestly and i typed up my first reply while i was in the bathroom at work so i didn't get to really fully break down why this is so fucking stupid so i'm gonna go through and answer all their questions one by one

-this is like the only semi-fair question but it's not even really valid. the point is they're barbies. like point blank. if you've looked at the barbie line-up at all in recent years you will see a barbie in a wheelchair. you will see a barbie with down syndrome. you will see tall barbie, short barbie, curvy barbie, asian barbie, black barbie, amputee barbie -- these are all real barbies that exist on the market, and THAT is primarily why there is so much sprawling diversity in barbieland. could we have seen more of these barbies in larger roles? maybe! but the reason for their existence is plain.

-it's not a utopia. it's barbieland. and the only explicit couple ever seen pre-patriarchy is stereotypical barbie and ken. because like. they're the dolls barbie and ken and that's what they were made to be.

-again, not a utopia. barbie doll world.

-the difference is that barbie and ken are manufactured by mattel to be a couple. this reviewer seems to not know about barbie. i think maybe they went into the movie believing that margot robbie was just playing herself on screen and is confused as to why actor ryan gosling doesn't have genitals.

-it's not really fully explained if the dolls become flesh in the real world or are made of plastic in barbieland. like that joke about whether barbieland is an alternate reality or a parallel universe to ours or its own separate place ("yes") kind of explains this. there's meant to be some suspension of disbelief in the barbie movie.

-again, they're barbie dolls. feast ur fuckin eyes.

holy shit it's supreme court barbie. wow. wowzer. dipshit.

-oh my god what is this person not grasping about the barbie thing

-no, nobody believes that men and women are markedly different and that women are better than men. that is not what this movie is saying. patriarchy bad. matriarchy... also bad?? if you watched the movie you might pick up on its themes.

-this is going back to the doll line thing. there just simply aren;t as many kens on the market. because nobody cares about ken. he really is just ken i'm sorry girls don't care and boys also don't care. boys play with toys that aren't barbies. it's not a men vs women thing it's a ken vs barbie thing. mattel just isn't going to invest in a fuck ton of new ken dolls that aren't going to sell.

-what?? it's bad because powerlessness is bad. what the fuck.

-submission is not liberatory for ken. this person did not watch this film. "it's barbie... and It's Ken...." these are words spoken aloud by barbie after telling ken he needs to find his own identity separate from her to be happy.

-why are you calling barbie a fascist. anyway that's literally proven, again, through the text in the film that you didn't watch, to be the incorrect course of action. barbieland does not return to being a full matriarchy in the end.

-i dunno, i don't really have a rebuttal for this one. except for um. the barbies are created by people in the real world so it doesn't really matter what flattering means in a world without sex because the barbies are sold in a world WITH sex. half a point for this question!

-i can't answer which is more fun to write. but i can say that america farrera stares directly down the lens at the audience and delivers a monologue about how much it fucking sucks to be a woman because of all the double standards placed on us and then at the end of the movie stereotypical barbie talks to god and is like "hey i don't feel perfect and pretty anymore i don't know who i am without those features. maybe i'm not barbie. maybe i'm just... a human being" because human women are not competent, poised, gentle, and asexual (she gets a vagina at the end!! reviewer must be so happy she can fuck now!!) (also yes some women are asexual, like me!!, but the point still remains)

-ummmmmmmmmmm actually female traits are pointed out all throughout the movie, i think only connecting womanhood to motherhood is actually 100% a you problem. i think maybe womanhood in this film also includes presidency and making scientific advancements.

-haven't seen it. sorry. barbie should have said "don't ask me, i'm just a girl!" in the movie tho it would have been a funny reference.

-oh shut the fuck up

x