#like I just Did Not understand why everything would suddenly get painful and why I'd get so angry ahdgjsg

[byanyan]

thinking about... byan getting overstimulated but not recognizing it as being that, and it resulting in them lashing out (often violently) because they don't?? know what's wrong or what to do about it???

[wosoluver]

Happier than ever Part I

Kika Nazareth x reader, Barça Femeni x reader, Katie McCabe x ex-girlfriend!reader

Other players masterlist

-> Bilie Eilish x woso prompts

is paired up with this social media!au

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

You made me hate this city.

Don't say it isn't fair

You clearly weren't aware that you made me miserable

You had woken up by your phone being swarmed by notifications of accounts tagging you in videos everywhere.

Worried that something bad had happened, you quickly went to check it.

By your own mistake, you had ended up seeing the video of your ex, having a good laugh about her 'last relationship'. a.k.a you.

It's like she was clueless of how guilty she was. You hadn't tried to blame her either. You ended things, and spared yourself from the chaotic situation that conversation would have entailed.

You call me again, drunk in your Benz

Driving home under the influence

You scared me to death, but I'm wasting my breath

'Cause you only listen to your fucking friends

flashback

"Katie, call me when you get this, please. Or just send me a text or something. Let me know if you're coming home." you said sadly into the phone. Your eyes red from the tears they shed.

You two had gotten into an argument when you said you were choosing to stay in for the night.

She exploded on you.

"You never want to do anything!" - "We clearly aren't compatible!" - "I don't even know why we're together!"

Her words replayed at the back of your mind, but suddenly you're were distracted by the sound of your ringtone. And you picked up immediately.

"Hey don't worry-fuck" and you heard the loud sound of car horns, at the other end of the line.

"What's going on!?"

"I'm on my way home okay? Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Wait, are you drunk driving again?"

"Oh, save it! I just had a few drinks. We can talk when I get there-"

By the end of her sentence, you had hung up. Sat on the couch, you were desperately crying into your own hands.

The feeling that it was time to do what you had been avoiding for a while now, sunk in.

You decided to go for a shower, it would help calm you down, a little. When you walked back in the room, Katie was laying spread out on the bed.

"Where were you?" you let out a shaky breath, tears threatening to start falling once again.

"Relax, just went out with the girls." her face held a carefree expression, like your feelings were purely over exaggerated.

"You walked out without saying anything."

A big groan left her lips. "Don't start, am already home."

"That is not the problem! And clearly you don't understand that.

Now days, when we have an argument you leave without saying anything. I have no clue if you're okay. I'm lucky if I get a heads up from Kyra or Viv!

And you're risking yourself and others, by getting behind the wheel intoxicated!"

"I'm sorry, yeah?" throwing her hands up in the air. "Let's sleep-"

"No! You aren't sorry." you said getting your pillow from the other side of the bed. "I'm sleeping on the couch."

end of flashback

I don't relate to you, no

'Cause I'd never treat me this shitty

You made me hate this city

You let go of her. It was a pain to still be in the same team.

You just wanted out.

The city you had once fallen in love with, now seemed so bleak.

Your 'friends' were her friends. You couldn't escape it.

Avoiding the conversation on why you two weren't together, was becoming impossible.

Although they knew a bit about their friend's behavior.

You had confined into Laia, the only friend you had from back home.

But didn't bother to talk about with the others.

By now, Katie had given them her own version.

The thing was, you didn't want to make them choose a side. Or become a reason for the team to divided, and out of sync.

You decided to ask for a transfer, and you were lucky, that because of Mariona transferring, you had a ticket to Barcelona.

And I don't talk shit about you on the internet

Never told anyone anything bad

'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything

And all that you did was make me fucking sad

You were willing to keep in how you felt and the situations that happened.

Believing that you two were simply opposites and that's why it hadn't worked out.

You wanted to keep a somewhat neutral memory of her.

It had been almost two months since moving here, but you hadn't shared anything on the matter.

You brushed your teeth slower than usual.

Bracing yourself for any questions that came up.

You look at your own reflection in the mirror. "You can do this".

You're better now. You're back to Spain, you have a team that has taken you in like one of their own, friends.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

"Bon dia." you said walking into the changing room. Only some of the girls had already arrived.

"Y/n! Good morning." said Kika, with her usual big smile on. She sat next to you. As new players, you ended up with lockers next to each others.

You gave her a tight lip smile.

"What's wrong?" her face twisted in confusion.

Along with her and Mapi, you were always cheery in the mornings.

"Nothing, just a little under the weather."

"Is that why you didn't answer my texts?"

"Sorry, I think it's on the 'don't disturb mode'. What was it about?"

"If you're still up to hang out after training? There's this cafe that I wanna go to."

Right there you let out a breath you held without noticing. She probably had no idea of what was going on online.

"Yeah,"

"Good morning, nena." said Alexia grabbing your attention.

"Ale, I'm twenty four." you reminded her, but she had already made it a habit.

Despite being almost in your mid twenties, the older woman had noted to herself from the first day, your bright and sweet nature. And from then on, had taken you under her wing.

"No use, she's still going to call you that." said Mapi.

"Sometimes, she still calls me 'cucumber girl'." Patri joined in. "I hate it."

You realized, you stressed over nothing. Maybe outside of the Arsenal fan bubble, this wasn't relevant at all. And although that was true, there was another reason for it.

Without your knowledge, Alexia had instructed everyone, that no one was to bring that subject up.

Laia had made sure to pass the message on.

You were there to start over, and they would make sure to support you on it.

Barça was your family now.

After training you decided to check your phone. See if things had died out a bit. You were being observed closely, without your knowledge.

"Don't beat yourself up about it, huh? She clearly didn't deserve you." said Ona, with a kind smile.

She unlike everyone else here, had seen from up close, how problematic the Irish player could be.

You gave her a silent nod, although you were thankful for her words.

"Ready to go?" Kika said, closing her locker and grabbing her keys.

"Yeah, let me bid the girls goodbye."

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

"So, how are you liking Barcelona?" you asked her sipping on your coffee.

"It's a lot like Portugal. How about you?"

"It's a lot like Sevilla."

"You don't say!" teasing you sarcastically. "I was talking about London."

"First of all, I'm never going to miss that damn weather." laughing a bit. "Secondly, I'm better off as you may know."

"What?"

"You know, the ex situation." but she looked genuinely confused.

"Does that have anything to do with Alexia saying we weren't allowed to ask you a lot of questions about Arsenal?"

You were the one surprised now. "She did that?"

"Don't tell her I said anything! I really want to be friends with her." she got a laugh out of you, as per usual. "She cares about you, we all do."

"It was a relief, not being the talk of the town, but I'm fine about it."

Her eyes were set on you questionably.

"Right, let me fill you in..."

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

So don't waste the time I don't have

And don't try to make me feel bad

Three days later, the host of a female football centered podcast, got in contact, to ask if I would like to come on. I was unsure if I should.

"What do you guys think?"

"Fuck being the bigger person. Say your peace." said Kika.

"If she didn't want this to be a thing, she should have kept her mouth shut." Ale cut in, sounding very protective.

"Agreed." spoke Ingrid, Mapi nodding along with her girlfriend.

but after they had cheered you onto going, you made up your mind.

It be good for you and your fresh start in the spanish league, and what would likely be the height of your career.

You ruined everything good

Always said you were misunderstood

Made all my moments your own

Did you feel bad throwing that out there? A bit.

You could never understand, how people can be a shit person and while being unaware of their shitty behavior.

She was wrong to assume you would keep your head down again.

Just fucking leave time alone.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

I know this probably goes without saying, but this is pure fiction and no hate to Katie, I like her, but I needed a player to be the ex.

This will have a part 2 of Kika and reader.

I know I had other ones to get done, but I couldn't help doing this one!

Like & share pls!

[mellowwillowy]

Let's talk about Yan! TWST!

The Yan that enjoys inflicting pain on you would be...

Riddle doesn't see the charm of hurting you and so are his card soldiers. But, that doesn't mean Riddle will not hurt you dear, oh noooo, do you remember the time your guardian punished you with something that hurt physically? A pinch on your forearm or a smack by the ruler? Take that double-fold.

"Now now, what did I say about standing straight?" Riddle fixes your posture with his staff before eyeing you from head to toe, "I assume you've been good today, you are safe from the... unsavory punishment, I'd say."

Cater can understand the charm of it, I mean, he enjoys biting you every now and then playfully! Now Imagine what if he does it with a different intention, hm?

Trey is, hm, 50/50. Just like Riddle except that part of him secretly loathes the fact that he wishes he could do more for you but that won't do good. He is not supposed to act like this.

The ADeuce duo? They are wholesome babies who just sometimes enjoy bullying you, just sometimes! Maybe a poke and prod here until it suddenly escalates into something that actually hurts you. Will immediately realize that and apologize to you nonstop.

Leona? You bet you got lots of bite marks and scratch marks! He treats you like his chewing toy and he loves it! Well, part of his sadistic side will sometimes take over and turn this into a much darker turn.

"Hey, come now, don't trouble me from having to find you, herbivore. Stop hiding unless you want me to drag you out with my fangs."

Ruggie and Jack don't really get it. Aren't they supposed to treasure and protect those who they love? Sure, the animalistic sides of marking might come every now and then but that's as far as it goes.

Alright, the Tweels are right off the bat. Any kind of pain honestly, physically and mentally. You get the drill. "What do you say if we turn you into a literal shrimp? Maybe... bend your back until you look like one, shrimpy?" "Kukuku, that is a great idea though I am worried about the aftereffects."

And the person who would be opposed to this would be the Octopus, Azul.

He prefers his angelfish to be unscratched unlike those brutes after all (Though he understands why they love seeing your fear-stricken expression, it truly has its own charm.) "You two! Stop playing around and go back to work if you have the time to bother them! ... Hey, are you alright?" Azul will check on you and tend to any bruises they leave after they are gone.

put that chain down! Real talk here though? Both Kalim and Jamil are on the same flavour but they leave different aftertaste.

Now I know Kalim is such a sunshine baby that is soooo sooo, free of threat and won't even have the thought of hurting you for fun. But what if he has no other choice but to do this...? Now he doesn't take any form of pleasure from this but what I'm trying to say is that he is not below from hurting you indirectly.

Take it when he feels the need to chain you down, should he let the others do this dirty deed or should he do this himself? The idea of someone else hurting you makes him sick but so does the idea of him having to immobilize you!

"I'm really sorry but I just, have no choice! I'll make it up to you, name anything you want and I'll give it to you in a blink! Everything... but leaving me... then I will grant it to you like a magic lamp..."

In Jamil's case though he just resorted to this method should his paranoia reach a certain extent. What if you leave him even though he hasn't done anything much for you at all? Should he charm you with his UM or... should he just straight up immobilize you and lock you away in the dorm, away from privy eyes? Or maybe should he shamelessly ask for Kalim's assistance in sending you to Scalding Sands for the time being?

"Rest assured, Najma will be there for you."

The Hunter, Rook. Now listen to me, no he doesn't find any pleasure in the same way the Tweels do. Take him as a hunter, only wounding you to keep you immobile and that's all, he'd prefer to not wound you at all to ensure your beauty unscratched like a taxidermized animal!

The people who would go against this would be Vil and Epel! Come on now, really? He'd rather inflict emotional and mental pain than this! How is he supposed to cover the bruises, let alone if it remains as a scar?

"Rook! What did I tell you about not leaving any mark on them? Can't you just ever listen?" "Aha, I'm so sorry~! It's just that they have been hopping around like a rabbit so I had no choice but to treat them as one."

As for Epel, he just doesn't see the charm in causing any pain to his dearest darling at all. He prefers seeing you smiling and laughing rather than crying. Oh gosh, these sick fucks are questionable!

"Even so, you shouldn't retort to this method! Oh no... it hurts so much, right...?"

Do not touch Ortho in the wrong way but damn this murder bot is on the loose. He will most definitely be doing the dirty job here for Idia like dude, he will stun you right on the spot should his system detect any suspicious movements and signs of doing something dumb.

Idia on the other hand is pretty neutral about this. Yeah, comatose, knocked out cold. Cool. You shouldn't have done that, noob, can't you at least make a plan that will allow you to evade Ortho's sight of view? Not like the phone he gave you will not save him from this trouble though.

"You thought you could sneak out of an enemy base camp that easily? You gotta at least watch the walkthrough from start to finish, anyway, off we go... to the enemy's underground chamber."

He'd prefer things to be as solace as possible so I think he doesn't enjoy partaking in this trope with these sadistic bitches. (He's just a silly meow meow after all)

Lilia has a kink in marking you with his fangs and it shows~ That, is on the playful note, what about the much darker note? Moments when the fistfight you two share turns into an uncontrollable fight that allows him to cut you with his nails and punch you right in your guts, hard, until you choke out.

"Ah~? Sorry, did I go too hard? I forgot that your body is now just as fragile as a stuffed doll!" He'll shrug it off playfully while relishing in your state for a moment before helping you ^^ (Ah, he misses those good' ol days so dearly!)

Malleus, Silver, and Sebek though? They are shaking their heads at Lilia but can't say anything about it.

Malleus sees this as a way to keep you still next to him, maybe by spraining your ankle or slamming your head so that you are knocked out.

Silver on the other hand does not lay a single finger on you with the intention of hurting you, at all! Cinnamon baby! huhuhu.

Sebek? After watching Lilia and Malleus, he deems this to be some sort of disciplinary action! He takes pride in it while secretly pushing away the guilt of hurting you and the fact that he was enchanted by the teary sight of you.

Divider Credit: @edith-is-a-cat

I have favorites and it shows. (Lilia)

[threepandas]

Bad End, Hidden Heir: Part 2

Prev <-

A pounding headache and cave air, that's what I woke up too. The air was being choked, though, by familiar scents. All trying desperately to make the cold, wet, and softly echoing quiet, hospitable. It was nauseating in my current state. Weak and... drugged? Had I been drugged? I certainly hadn't been drunk.

So why did my head hurt so much?

Why did every motion, make my stomach want to rebel?

My limbs felt so WEAK. Heavy and useless. Barely budging when I try to lift them. To rub my head? Adjust the blanket? Sit up? I can't tell. Thinking... thinking is so hard past... the pounding in my head. The fog. I struggle to concentrate. God, that SMELL.

Like a perfume store combined with... with... ugh. Everything!

I could pick out individual scents I knew I liked, on their own, added to the nauseating chaos. My favorite potpourri was there. But so was the one I like for winter? Fall? That one I liked as a kid until I found Mrs. Tianna's blend...

And perfumes! Colognes! The clean products and scents I preferred the maids used. God it... it blended together like a trash heap. As though someone drove a carriage through a perfume shop at speed. Cloying and musk and spice and fruity and-!

I sucked air through my teeth, trying not to smell it, hoping to god I wouldn't TASTE it.

Finally I managed to pry my eyes open. Either hunger or thirst giving my the strength to push past the nauseating pain. I NEEDED to move. Find out what was happening. Survive.

My gaze... met the most elaborate embroidery I had ever seen. Tapestries had less art. Almost to the point of gaudiness. Possibly past it. It was...

It was everything I had ever said I liked.

Too anyone.

Puppies and flowers, history and art, books scenes and more. It kept GOING! Hideous and magnificent. Chaos. Unhinged. Flowing down from above me, along the rest of the curtains, for the canopy bed upon which I rest. So I would be surrounded by it all. Even the blanket... it was a sea of my favorite flowers, made eternal through string.

This wasn't something people just DID. Could just FIND. I could feel my panic under the muting pain and exhaustion. This was the work of YEARS. Obsessive, continuous, YEARS. Some of these threads cost more then certain house hold make in WEEKS! And for what? A secret canopy bed?!

I struggled, body barely able to obey me but trying desperately to assist. The blankets were heavy. The curtain around the bed equally so, thanks to all the embroidery. I.. I manage to roll. Squirm. Wriggle my way, undignified, to the edge. Flop over it and out from under the blanket. Too freedom.

The air is cold.

The scents WORSE out here. Now, I can see why.

It is a museum to all that I am. Every like carefully gathered in one place, every preference. Stacked and shoved together, with no regard for if they fit. Hoarded like a collection.

I can not even tell... if I am sitting, flopped down, on my favorite winter bedside carpet or just an exact copy. My entire life is shoved together and suddenly... suddenly I do not like any of these things at all. They feel dirty. Dangerous. Like they have betrayed me. I want to cry.

But I am nauseous. Hurting. Tired and thirsty. So very hungry dispite it all. I just... I just need to know what's going ON! This isn't... this isn't how the Game goes! Not for Protag-chan. Not for me! I know I changed my "character's" behavior... but...

I... I don't understand...

Try not to cry. It's... it's really hard.

I was right. I'm pretty sure this is the Caves of Spring in the northwest of the Duchy. The offical Heir has an estate near them. The stone looks like the cliffs I'd seen in passing.

Crawling is hard. My legs keep getting tangled in my fucking nightgown. My... my f.. favorite.. nightgown! I'm not gonna cry. Damn it. I'm NOT GONNA CRY. How dare he? How DARE he ruin even that? What did he DO to me!? When I was... was...

No, don't think about it!

Move.

A decanter. Needlessly pretty. I probably loved it as a girl, fresh into this world. Everything was so FANCY and I wasn't used to having money yet. Hadn't developed any real class or taste. It looks so fucking gaudy to me now. But God, it has water. Please... PLEASE let that be water!

I drag myself up on badly shaking limbs. Nothing wants to hold. Wrists buckling, knees giving, legs shaking like a new born lamb. My arms are so weak. But thirst... oh thirst is a powerful motivator.

I force myself to move.

The water is not enough. It is everything. Cold and perfect, I force myself to go slow. To not spill a single drop, as I collapse against the dresser it was placed upon. Letting my eyes explore my cage in the way my poor abused body can not.

There are thick bars buried deep into the bedrock, separating the "room" I'm in from the hall that leads away from it. And it IS a "room". Made in cruel mockery to resemble the luxury of the dukes estate. Perhaps even more aggressively decadent in certain aspects, though that isn't a good thing. It makes it border on a storage room, for how crowded with luxury it has become.

It is the reflection of an unwell mind.

And staring up at the portraits of myself I KNOW I never sat for? The countless sketches pinned up beyond the bars? I am in trouble. I... I should have run. Not sent Creep away. I should have been the one to run. Before it was too late.

I think... I think it might be too late.

Footsteps.

I want to escape. But where can I run? I am caged. I feel close and far away. My head hurts. My body hurts. Everything stinks and I am cold. Why? Why did you do this? The foot steps are calm and commanding. Even. They do not break stride.

I do not bother to watch my hunter approach me. The monster I can not escape.

I close my eyes to spare myself the pounding in my head. Drink more water.

He makes a softly dismayed sound, as though he was not the one to drug me, to leave me here. The door to my cage opens. Closes. Ah... such a heavy lock. Should I be flattered?

Crisp steps, the rustle of fabric.

"My lady, the floor is so dirty! You shouldn't be out of bed yet. I was just about to make you tea."

The AUDACITY.

Tea? TEA! Ha ha! After DRUGGING my tea? He actually expects me to accept a cup from him again?! He truely IS insane, isn't he?

I am scooped up without my consent, unable to so much a truely struggle. Placed gently on a plush chair, a tea table moved in front of me. A familiar cup. My favorite blend. Pretty little snacks laid out deftly on lovely little plates. I grit my teeth. Slowly tip my head up to glare.

He pauses when our eye meet... then shudders, some terrible look of pleasure dancing across his face.

"That's right... look at me~" he whispers, leaning entirely too close. "I'm all that you have now. So you'll HAVE too now! No more others. No more distractions. No more sending me away! People trying to get between us. Trying to take you away. I'm all that you need, My Lady. All you'll EVER need."

"Just look at ME, your loyal dog. And I'll take such good care of you. I promise~♡"

[debonairprincesposts]

If you have requests open I'd love to request a Lucifer x reader angst. When he finds out they're dating Charlie, he gets too protective and ends up scaring them away. After seeing how upset she gets when the reader breaks up with her because of him, he has to try and patch things up.

Thank you anon for this wonderful request! I thrive on angst. Ask and you shall receive! Mostly.

Anyway! Here is your Lucifer x reader angst.

Hope it’s to your liking-

Enjoy (。•̀ᴗ-)✧

It’s finally happening. Charlie was finally going to introduce her partner to her dad. She just hopes that he doesn’t hate (Name) as soon as he sees them.

“Calm down, Char! I’m sure it’ll go great- I mean, how bad could it be, right?” You tried to comfort Charlie. Not like you were any better. You were just as nervous, maybe even more. You were going to meet the king of hell for heaven’s sake!

“No- you’re right! There’s no way he won’t like you! You’re like- the nicest person I know! He’s bound to take a liking to you-,” Charlie says, pacing around the hotel lobby. Nobody was present at the moment, she told everyone that she was gonna have an important meeting with her dad and had Vaggie request that nobody be present in the lobby at that time.

Knock knock

He’s here! Already?! You just hope that everything goes well and he ends up liking you. Charlie would be pretty upset if he didn’t. You would too-

“Charlie! So good to see you again!”

Lucifer said as he basically crushed her in a bear hug with a grin.

“G-Good to see you too, dad!” Charlie wheezes out as she hugs him back.

He lets go as he walks into the lobby, “So what is this important thing you wanted to show me, Char Char?”

“Uhm- dad, I just wanted you to meet someone really important to me, so- Uhm,” She drags you over by the shoulders, “meet (Name)! My lover!” Says Charlie with a nervous smile.

“Pleasure to meet you, sir!” You extend your hand for a shake, Lucifer grabs your hand with narrowed eyes and a strained grin as his grip on your hand tightens to a painful degree. “Likewise.”

Awkward silence…

“Alright!” Says Charlie with a clap to clear the awkwardness, “Why don’t you two get to know each other while I go get us some drinks.”

You look at Charlie with a pleading look to not leave you alone with her dad, because you know for a fact you would’ve been dead ten times over from the way he’s glaring at you if looks could kill.

Charlie gives you an apologetic smile as she quickily makes her way to the bar in the lobby.

“So,” He suddenly says, startling you, you turn to look at him. The way he’s looking at you tells you he’s displeased that you’re in a relationship with Charlie , “What are your intentions with my daughter?” Distrust clear in his voice.

Sweat drips down your temple. You take a deep breath, “I love her, sir. I want to try my best to make her happy like she does with me.” You say with a shaky smile.

His eyes narrow even further than before, “I’m not buying it. You’re a sinner! The only reason you’d be down here is if you did some really terrible things. Why would a terrible person like you want to be with Charlie. What is your plan exactly? Are you trying to exploit her kindness? Steal her money? Her life?”

He’s basically glaring now.

Your eyes widen as you immediately go to deny all the things he said, “What? N-No! I would never- I love Charlie! I wouldn’t ever do anything like that!”

“Bullshit!” Venom drips from his voice, he’s actually really starting to scare you now. Charlie, where are you?? “I want you as far away from my daughter as possible. Do you understand?”

“But sir-,”

“I said- Do you understand?” His eyes flash red as his horns slightly peak from under his skin.

“O-okay-,” you say dejectedly as you try to keep your tears at bay.

“Wonderful!” He goes back to normal as if he didn’t just basically threaten you, grin wide and everything, “I’m sure you’ll be gone by tomorrow morning, right?” He says with a threatening grin. “And Charlie better not hear a thing about this, clear?”

“Crystal.” You say as you look away to hide your tears.

After Charlie comes back with the drinks, you excuse yourself to the restroom to wash your face.

Charlie shoots you a worried glance. You flash her a small smile as you pass her.

“You didn’t say anything mean, did you dad?” Charlie shoots her dad a suspicious look.

“Pfft- What? No- I would never!” He lied as he took a sip of his drink, “They’re just the sweetest person ever! Good find Charlie!”

Her eyes sparkle as she heard what he said, “Right? They’re so nice to me too. They make me breakfast in bed practically everyday! Oh- and help with managing the hotel when I’m not here too! And their massages are the best! I love them so much!” Charlie continues going off on a tangent about all the nice things you’ve done and such.

As Lucifer listens to her talk, he starts to feel a bit guilty about how he treated you earlier but erases that thought from his head. He needs to keep his little apple pie safe. No matter the cost.

(Name) never returned to the lobby after that. Lucifer decided to excuse himself deciding that it’s gotten late and that he needs to attend to his “kingly” duties tomorrow. Charlie goes to the bedroom to find (Name) already asleep. So she goes to bed too with a smile on her face. In her mind, her dad and her partner liked each other. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

The next morning, Lucifer gets a call from Charlie. She’s sobbing, barely getting her breaths out as she tells him that you broke up with her.

“Why would they break up with me!” She sobs, “Was it because of me? Because I did something?-,”

“No Charlie! Definitely not your fault. Maybe they left for a good reason?” He says unsure of himself.

Charlie pauses on her end, “Did you do something, dad?”

“O-Of course not, sweetie!-,”

“Dad, please!”

“…” Lucifer is at a loss. He didn’t know Charlie would be this devastated. “I’ll go find them and talk to them for you, okay apple pie?” He settles.

Charlie sniffles, “Really?”

“Really! They’ll be back with you in no time! Not a problem at all! So just- stop crying, okay? Please?” If he needs to go find that sinner his daughter likes then so be it.

“Okay,” Charlie says, “ But please- don’t say mean things to them okay?”

“Of course, sweetie,”

They both hang up.

Lucifer messed up bad. He didn’t mean to make Charlie that upset. He needs to find that sinner, and convince them to go back to Charlie. He just hopes he didn’t scare them too much the last time they both talked. He needs to fix this.

You moved back to the little apartment you had. It wasn’t much, but at least it was a roof over your head. As you head out to try find a new job, Lucifer pops outta nowhere making you take several steps back.

“Hey there! Mind having a talk with lil old me?” He says with an expecting grin.

You were scared for your life. You already did as he asked so why was he here?!

You shakily smile as you answer him, “Of course, sir.”

His grin widens as he opens a portal to a cafe of sorts. He leads you inside to a private booth. He motions at the seat infront of him, gesturing you to take a seat. He calls the waiter over, orders you both drinks then you settle in silence as the waiter leaves.

He clears his throat, startling the crap out of you. “So,” he says awkwardly, “How are you today?” He asks as he tries to start small talk.

“Fine,” You reply.

He winces at your dry response.

“So uhh- Charlie sounded pretty upset this morning when she called me,” He says as he fiddles with his fingers.

You were too scared to say anything really. You already knew Charlie was going to be upset, but it’s not like you had much choice in the matter.

He was gauging your reaction to his words. You seem to be just as upset as Charlie sounded on the phone with him earlier. You look like you are close to tears.

He sighed as he finally got his thoughts together, “I’m sorry.” He says looking at his lap, seeming completely ashamed of his actions.

Your head snapped up fast enough to give you whiplash from hearing him apologize. Apologize? He’s apologizing? To you?? The King of Hell is apologizing to a lowly sinner like you?!

“I shouldn’t have done what I had. I should’ve gotten to know you better before judging you immediately.” He finally looks up from his lap to look at you to find you sat then completely frozen with a shocked look on your face.

“You love her, don’t you?” He asks you with a hopeful expression. He smiles in relief when you nod with a soft ‘yes’. His smile softens when he sees how tense you are, you look like you’re ready to bolt at a moments notice. He grimaces on the inside. He shouldn’t have been that harsh. He judged you too early. “How about we try to get to know each other for a bit. You are going to be my child in law sooner or later, aren’t you?” He takes a sip of his drink with a grin.

Your eyes glisten with tears of relief. Lucifer panics a bit at the sight of your tears before you explain that it’s just tears of happiness. He calms down at your explanation. The fact that you’re crying tears of joy over knowing that you could still be with Charlie made Lucifer change his mind about you. You might just be what Charlie needs. He hopes that Charlie can forgive him for what he did.

Negative thoughts aside! He needs to get to know his daughter’s partner better! Properly this time.

Help your favorite author by buying them a ko-fi!

[thestarstoasun]

Part 1

Blue eyes met worried dark ones. Instantly, he heard Nico's voice, but he couldn't make out what he said. Will tried to pinpoint where all of the pain was coming from, but everything just felt wrong. It took much of his willpower to focus on his surroundings, well those outside of the beautiful dark-haired boy we had woken up to.

The first thing he noticed was that he wasn't in the infirmary. While it made the instinct to not look for his older brother whom he knew wouldn't be there easy to ignore, it also made him feel uneasy. Where were they? How had they gotten here?

"-olace. Will!" Nico's accented voice cut through his thoughts. A cold hand holding tightly to his overheating one.

"You sound like an angel." Will wasn't sure why his mouth didn't get the memo that admiring Nico in dire situations normally stays in his thoughts, but before he could try to form any coherent way of "taking it back" Nico's cheeks tinted pink, and suddenly it was well worth it.

"Don't think compliments and flattery are going to save your ass." The pale boy scowled, though it was hardly as affective as it should have been. "Honestly, what the Hades were you thinking?"

Will tried to filter through his brain for any recollection of what Nico could be referring to, but it seemed his brain still hadn't caught up with the present. He was happy to be able to lift his hand to brush against Nico's cheek with confused eyes. "I don't understand. Where are we? What happened?"

Nico seemed to tense up and let out a quiet sigh. "We're still in Tartarus, Will. Right now, we are in the hut that belongs to Damasen. Small Bob brought us here." Will nodded and bit the inside of his cheek.

“Is he- is he around?” Will couldn't help but wince at how weak and pathetic his voice sounded. He was sure Nico noticed, but his boyfriend didn't say a word about it. “Damasen went out to find something that may help you. I fed you some ambrosia earlier..Will, I'm sorry. Shit, if I paid more atten-”

The blonde leaned up (much to the protest of his body) and grabbed Nico by the boy's aviator jacket and pulled him in for a kiss. It was short and sweet, but exactly what they both needed. “It's alright, Nico. I'd do anything for you.” Even if he couldn't exactly remember what happened, he could piece things together. After all, he wasn't stupid. Waking up in the hut of someone who was said to help with healing, Nico's worried eyes, ambrosia, Lee, all of it fell into place. Will had taken a near-fatal blow for Nico…and he would do it again in a heartbeat.

“If anything, I should be the one apologizing to you. I know how much you've lost people and I-”

“William Andrew Solace, if you apologize for saving my life so help me.” Nico was looking at the ground, shaking his head. His voice was filled with fond exasperation. “What am I going to do with you?”

“You could take care of me? Nurse me back to health?” Will could feel his cheeks heating up. Before this trip, it was something he would have never mentioned. Will Solace was not someone who got taken care of. Will Solace took care of others. Will Solace smiled through the pain. Will Solace didn't allow himself to break down or cry. Will Solace had to be a ray of sunshine in everyone's life. Will Solace had no darkness inside of him…

Or did he? Ever since his meeting with the goddess Persephone, Will couldn't help but think of all the times he so desperately wanted to cry for his big brothers. The hatred he felt towards Percy for months after the Battle of Manhattan, despite knowing it wasn't his fault. (He only didn't let Will look for Michael, but it's fine. Will has accepted it.) All of the times he felt like breaking under the pressure of being the perfect older brother and head counselor.

The truth was that Will Solace did have darkness inside of him - it was just hidden by the overwhelming light. Trust is a two-way road, and if he wants Nico to give him trust, he needs to show that he trusts Nico in return. Will wants to show Nico his darkness. He wants to allow himself to be cared for once again. It's a revelation that shocks him more than probably anything else so far on this trip, though it's not over yet. They still have to find Bob the Titan.

“Yeah, I'll take care of you.” Nico's voice is so soft that Will almost misses it, but he doesn't miss the comforting squeeze the cold hand in his warm one brings.

“Nico, can I tell you about my older brothers?”

“Go ahead, Will. We have a little time to rest.” Those soft brown eyes looked at him with such understanding and love that Will felt things were gonna be alright for the first time in a while.

[rosanna-writer]

a simple name and everything has changed (2/?)

Summary: we said hello and your eyes look like coming home, Rhys POV chapters Or: Rhys's slow realization that he's mated to Prythian's most chaotic human (and how much he loves her for it) Warnings: implied/referenced sexual assault, discussion of food insecurity and disordered eating Word Count: ~3.4k

This is Rhys's POV of ch. thirteen: stay stay stay, which is the first morning back in the Night Court after getting out from Under the Mountain. Please note: I added an additional content warning for discussion of food insecurity and disordered eating for this chapter.

You can find it below the readmore or read the whole thing here on AO3.

Feyre was hungry. It wasn't the first time I felt hunger pangs clawing at her, and I still didn't understand how she ignored them as if they were nothing. Otherwise, her side of the bond was calm, and that was the only thing keeping the last remnants of my sanity intact.

Even flying didn't make me feel better, not like it used to. The trip from the townhouse to the House of Wind had never been difficult before, but the muscles in my shoulders were barking in pain by the time I landed on the balcony, even though it had only been a few short minutes.

Then suddenly none of that mattered because Feyre was waiting for me in clothes that couldn't possibly look more classically Night Court.

I hadn't known what she'd worn the last time she'd been in Velaris; I'd gotten glimpses out her eyes before she'd learned to shield, but Feyre didn't spend much time looking at herself. The matching peach pants and top were obviously hers—they fit too well to have been borrowed. The color suited her, bringing out the pink in her cheeks.

She looked healthy. Comfortable. Beautiful. Like she belonged here and always had, the Queen of Night in her rightful place in the House of Wind. I thought I'd only see it in my wildest dreams, but this was real.

Before the silence could become awkward, I said, "Night Court attire suits you." It might have been the biggest understatement of my life.

Her smile was hesitant, but it was there, the last piece falling into place. "All things considered, it would be strange if it didn't," she said, "but thank you, though."

It made me feel better, enough to remember my manners and that she was famished. I pulled out a chair and indicated for her to sit, then used magic to conjure up food from the kitchen. Feyre, by some miracle, didn't fight me, just immediately dug into breakfast with a fervor I hadn't seen anyone display since Cassian had been a youngling.

Feyre had never said it, but she didn't need to. There had clearly been long stretches of time in the mortal lands when she hadn't had enough to eat.

It was a relief to see her finally get a proper meal. She didn't seem to notice me staring, but I poured tea anyway just to have something to do with my hands. There was no point in talking until she was full.

When it seemed safe, I said, "Why did you leave?" There was no point in beating around the bush.

I braced myself for the answer while Feyre took her time choosing her words. Each second seemed to stretch into an eternity, but eventually she said, "It seemed presumptuous to stay."

Presumptuous. I couldn't fathom what could possibly have made her feel that way. "If it was something I—"

"You haven't done anything wrong. Really."

She sounded earnest, but something was clearly wrong or we wouldn't be having this conversation. "You climbed ten thousand steps yesterday."

For a long moment, she wouldn't look at me. I said nothing else, just gave her time and resisted the urge to find a crack in her shields and find out what she was thinking.

Voice soft, she said, "I just...thought you'd want space, now that you can finally have it."

My insides twisted with the realization that she'd done this for my benefit. The fact that she thought I'd want that, after everything…it made me feel like a failure. Feyre deserved to feel wanted.

"Not from you," I said, sighing and running a hand through my hair.

She moved closer and pressed her face to my shoulder, and at the contact, the bond uncoiled in my chest. I wrapped an arm around her, and it felt good to give into the instinct to pull her closer.

"I think I needed to hear you say that," she whispered.

With her face against my shoulder, she didn't see the way I pressed my eyes shut for a moment, careful not to let her feel my shame. I'd felt overwhelmed at setting foot in Velaris again, but I shouldn't have lost focus enough for her to even consider the possibility that I'd want her anywhere but at my side.

But there were other things I couldn't leave unsaid, and they'd be easier to get out when she wasn't looking at me. I forced myself to say, "Feyre, you're under no obligation to stay here, and of course I'll take you back across the Wall if that's what you want. I know you didn't understand what was happening when you accepted the bond. That said, as far as I'm concerned, the townhouse is yours, too. And even if it wasn't, I thought after everything you were at least comfortable enough to stay in my guest room for a night."

If Feyre wanted to return to the mortal lands and never see a faerie again, I wouldn't blame her. I didn't know much about what her life had been like before coming to Prythian, but if she wanted, she deserved to be able to return to it. And I needed to make it explicitly clear that the mating bond didn't mean I had any sort of claim over her.

Her choice. Always.

To my relief, she didn't move. "I was just trying to do right by you," she said, the words a bit muffled against my shirt.

That made two of us. I kissed the top of her head, the only part of her I could reach without shrugging her off of me, and hoped it was enough to show her that we were in this together. The situation was delicate and confusing, but…we'd figure it out.

"And I want to do the same for you. Apparently it's not nearly as simple as it sounds," I said. Her stomach was still churning; when I felt another hunger pang from her, I gently nudged her away and added, "Finish eating. It's been weeks since you've had a proper meal."

And because Feyre was nothing if not completely impossible, she just glared at my eggs until I took a bite. I resisted the urge to point out that I wasn't the one who'd fought the Middengard Wyrm on a mostly-empty stomach and then gone to bed without bothering to eat dinner. The look in her eyes was becoming familiar, the one that told me she'd have my head if I balked at what she wanted.

I could guess, though, what she'd experienced to make her grow into the sort of person who ignored their own gnawing hunger with practiced ease, all while pushing someone else to finish what was on their plate.

"For what it's worth," she said eventually, "I don't want to go back across the Wall, at least not permanently. I want to see for myself that my family is safe, but there's nothing left for me there."

Feyre wanted to stay in the Night Court. Perhaps it shouldn't have been a surprise, considering how at home she looked here, but the relief was strong enough that if I'd been standing, my knees probably would have gone weak.

But that wasn't the point, so I did my best not to look too obvious about it. Feyre had family out there somewhere, and the Mother only knew what lie Tamlin had spun when he'd ripped her from them. They probably thought she was dead.

And in a way, I supposed they were my family now, too. Azriel had likely already taken care of it—even if Feyre hadn't realized, accepting the bond had made her human family Night Court royalty by the laws of Prythian—but I made a mental note to confirm with him that they were under our protection.

"Then we'll go today," I said.

She stared at me in shock, which was strange. Tamlin had kidnapped her—of course making sure she reunited with her family was a priority.

"We don't have to. I don't want to pull you from Velaris when you've only just gotten back," she said.

And there it was again, that tricky matter of doing right by each other. It wasn't a concern, but…I understood why she'd think it was.

"I wouldn't begrudge you a reunion with you family after having one with mine last night." It was true, but it wasn't everything—the look she gave me made it obvious she knew that. If I'd been having this conversation with anyone else, I would have left things there, this was Feyre. It was safe to be honest with her. "There's quite a lot of work to do after the balance of power shifted and our…performance yesterday. The rest of the Inner Circle is handling it to spare me having to work so soon after returning. And...I don't know how to be around them just yet."

"Did something with them not go well last night?" she said after a moment.

I couldn't tell her what a mess I'd been; I wouldn't risk her feeling responsible for scaring me when she'd left. But I wouldn't lie, either. "Nothing like that, but last night we were all so relieved we didn't really talk. We're all furious with each other, and I'm not looking forward to facing it."

"We'll go to the mortal lands another day, when you don't look dead on your feet." I winced—Cauldron, I hadn't realized I'd looked that bad. It had been a sleepless night, though. Feyre must have misunderstood because she continued, "We don't get along. It's…complicated."

That was hardly a surprise, something I'd suspected was true since that first conversation in her cell Under the Mountain. The morning after Calanmai, I'd written it off as healthy suspicion of a faerie claiming to be her mate after what must have been an incredibly strange night, but even then, Feyre had clearly struggled to believe someone else might be in her corner. It had probably kept her safe. But…people from happy families didn't think like that.

"Contrary to popular belief, I do try to stay out of your head. I don't even know how many siblings you have." It was the truth, but she wouldn't be the first person to accuse me of sneaking past mental shields to poke around for information. I wasn't above prying if it were someone else, but I'd never do that to her.

She seemed to believe me, at least. And then somehow we found ourselves in the middle of a conversation about our sisters, chatting as if we'd always eaten breakfast together. I'd dreamed about being here with her, about things being this comfortable and easy, but it had always been just a dream, a pleasant imagining to get lost in and forget about being Under the Mountain for a while.

But now it was a reality, and I let myself slip into it.

It only lasted so long, though. The exhaustion of two nights without sleep was bound to catch up to me, and from the way Feyre was stretching, I could tell she was sore from her fight with the Wyrm. I wanted to get her off her feet and resting again.

"Let's get you back to the townhouse so you can sleep," she said.

"I'm not sure I can." I needed it, but I wasn't sure I could relax enough to manage.

"You're going to collapse if you don't." The words came out a bit sharp, and she must have realized it because she spoke more softly as she added, "Try falling asleep on me. My scent helps, doesn't it?"

"You don't have to do that." There was nothing more soothing than Feyre's lilac-and-pear scent, but after what she'd just told me about her family, I didn't want to be another person depending on her. Feyre was only nineteen, but she'd already done more than enough caretaking to last a lifetime.

She stepped closer, taking both of my hands, and I had a sudden urge to pull her flush against me. Cauldron, it was as if the mating bond wouldn't let up.

"Now that I've eaten, I'm taken care of. It's your turn. We'll get back to the townhouse, and I promise once you're asleep I'll stay so you don't wake up alone."

I started to say something else to reassure her that I wouldn't be be another burden for her shoulder, but before I could, she'd closed the distance between us and kissed me. I lost my train of thought. At least, though, I wasn't the only one who'd wanted to be closer.

But as she pulled away, the realization that I wouldn't be able to fly her down to the street hit me like a punch to the gut. "My wings…I can't— I barely made it up here. I'm not strong enough to carry someone down, not anymore." I hadn't thought that far ahead when I told her I'd come to the House of Wind, and it had been a stupid oversight.

Some emotion I couldn't quite read flashed across Feyre's face for a moment. It was gone before I could ask, replaced by a smile I knew better than to point out that I could tell was forced.

"Then another day we'll see if you have the softest landings to go with the biggest wingspan."

I stilled, not sure I'd heard her correctly for a moment. It had been a very long time since I'd heard anyone make a joke about wingspan size. And to hear it come from the mouth of my human mate of all people…Mother above, who'd explained the significance of that to her?

I was suddenly very afraid to find out what my family had told her about me after she'd learned to shield.

But it was hard to be worried about anything with Feyre grinning at me, blue-grey eyes bright with mischief. She'd known exactly what she'd been doing. My heart squeezed as I let her tug me towards the stairs.

I'd never really enjoyed taking the stairs in the House of Wind, but it wasn't nearly as awful with Feyre there. I fought exhaustion the whole way, mostly making conversation to keep myself awake. I wasn't sure I'd survive the humiliation of passing out and being carried the rest of the way down.

The last thing I remember before sleep finally claimed me was her scent and her fingers running through my hair. I don't think I'd ever felt more safe.

But it was hard to stay asleep. Even though I probably could have passed out for a day—and needed it—I was stirring only a few hours later. Her scent was there again, still in my nose.

Just like it had been when I'd woken up from dreams of her Under the Mountain.

There was warm skin against my face. Perhaps…perhaps it had all been a dream and that skin belonged to—

No. No, it wasn't that bitch—the smell was coming from whoever's stomach my nose was resting against. I was still asleep on Feyre. Not a dream, then. She was still sitting here and had been for quite a while.

"Feyre?" I said. "You're still here."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said.

I sat up, a bit more alert now. Feyre brushed my cheek with her thumb, and I pressed my face against her hand, letting the feel of her skin on mine ground me in reality. "Your scent was in my dreams before I even met you. For a moment, I thought this might be a dream again."

"We made it out," she said, soft but insistent.

I nodded, repeating those words in my head and wondering when it wouldn't be so hard to believe them. Feyre pulled her hand away, and my eyes dropped to her tattoo.

I'd known about it, of course. I'd even seen it out of her eyes once or twice. She'd been glamoured Under the Mountain, and over breakfast I'd been too preoccupied with other things to really look closely. But now I did.

High Lady of the Night Court.

It wasn't her title yet, but it would be. I knew deep down in my bones that the design would be filled in the rest of the way one day. But there was still something miraculous about the tangible evidence before me that I wasn't just a lovestruck fool for thinking Feyre was nothing less than a queen.

The Night Court itself agreed with me.

There wasn't time to dwell on that. I'd rest more later—I wanted to check in with the rest of the Inner Circle and make sure that there hadn't been any new emergencies. I stood, unfurling my wings and smoothing out my tunic.

"I have to debrief with the Inner Circle this evening, and you should be present for that," I said, surprising even myself with how composed I sounded.

Feyre shot me another look. "Is it at all related to the dinner plans Azriel mentioned while you were asleep?"

"Ideally no, but it will be a working dinner if necessary."

She nodded, though she still looked hesitant, as if she were bracing herself for something before she said, "If someone's coming here from the House of Wind, then would they be able to bring my things?"

Feyre wanted to stay with me. Not just in the Night Court, but here. In the townhouse. She'd looked unsure of something, so I was careful not to overwhelm her by letting it show how utterly relieved and elated I was.

It did beg the question of who'd be sleeping where, though. And I wasn't ready to have the conversation. She'd already run off once, and I didn't want to presume she wanted to share a bed—and even if she did, I wasn't sure how she'd feel about my hands turning to talons when I had nightmares.

"You'll find them in the room across the hall from mine," I said, reaching out with my magic to move everything. It was so easy now that I was back to my full power.

As I left to wash up, I caught sight of a report from Azriel on the end table. That must have been why he'd dropped by, then. I reached out and found his mind, and at the first scrape of a talon, he let me in.

All is well, before you ask.

I gripped the edge of the sink, momentarily overwhelmed at the feeling of my brother's mind and the sound of his voice in my head again. It had been so long. I'd missed him.

Is it?

Yes. Sentries have been posted around the Archeron estate, and wards are in place. They're safe, and so is the Night Court. We'll see you at dinner.

Thank you.

I have one thing to show you, though.

There was a slight shift in Azriel's mind, a door opening to let me into a memory. I stepped through.

From Azriel's perspective, I saw myself asleep on the sofa earlier today, my head in Feyre's lap. The dark circles under my eyes were more prominent than I'd realized, and I'd spent so much time unable to look at myself Under the Mountain that I'd forgotten how pale I'd become—no wonder Feyre had seemed so worried this morning.

A warm feeling washed over Azriel at the sight of me resting and Feyre comfortable as she stroked my hair. Like everyone else, he'd been worried when she'd run off last night. It wasn't Azriel's business…but he'd been concerned about where Feyre and I stood all the same.

"He just got to sleep," Feyre was saying, low and threatening, "so if you're here to talk to him, it had better be urgent. Come back later if it's not."

The memory faded after that. As Azriel put his shields back up, he said, Make her happy, Rhys. She deserves it.

I wasn't sure what I'd expected, but Feyre—a human who'd only learned to properly throw a punch two months ago—had nearly picked a fight with one of the most powerful Illyrian warriors in history. All because she thought I needed rest.

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to kiss her again.

By some miracle, an underfed human teenager had appointed herself the protector of the High Lord of the Night Court. And I don't think I could have been in better hands.

I just stood there for a moment, blinking at my reflection and overwhelmed by how much I loved Feyre Archeron.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

why do people take paul’s grief for john as something romantic? like people like to overanalyze his quotes about his death and i’m not denying he expressed and said some weird things but like let’s be honest, this isn’t something unique to paul. many people have a hard time expressing themselves after someone close to them has died and that can last years, it’s just that for the majority of us, there isn’t a microphone or tape recorder taking down every thought you had on the matter and publishing it. You aren’t being asked about it like it’s just another everyday question about your life. especially considering these two never had a chance to truly work out their differences, like obviously you’re going to have mixed emotions, your relationship was being pitted against each other by media for years. you have people pretending they know more about your friendship than the actual two people who were in the room together. like i can’t imagine that happening to me and my best friend, heck im sure that would drive me crazy. that’s why i appreciate your views. you understand nuance.

:(

Yeah.

I also think… Like yes I do think sometimes Paul goes over the top with the way he talks about John.

But then I remember how Paul accidentally said something terrible the day he found out and was viciously raked over the coals for it. And I remember he'd by that point already lived with the guilt of "saying the wrong thing after someone died suddenly" since he was fourteen, and here he had done the same thing again.

And I also think about the fact that, before I became a fan, I did have a vague notion of the Beatles as people and… I was 100% one of those people who assumed Lennon-McCartney was a cold and opportunistic business-relationship, not a real friendship. That was the narrative instilled in my brain before I'd even given any of this any thought! And that's the very thing Paul struggled to dismantle for decades, and maybe finally sort of managed with Get Back/Now and Then!* And I remember how he lives with the pain of feeling he didn't make his love for John known enough during John's lifetime, and suspect some of this might be a kind of atonement.

And yeah, everything you mentioned. These things are hard for everyone to go through, but not everyone gets recorded every step of the rocky way.

*We can talk about the specific accuracy of this new over-simplified "JohnandPaul Were Simply Besties :)" story – but the general public is never gonna settle for a nuanced narrative, and it's natural this is the one Paul prefers.

[a-driftamongopenstars]

too much to ask; cayde & guardian

exploring some personal thoughts about Cayde through my Guardian :) been really looking forward to writing this ficlet! also on ao3

An equal measure of grief and accord settles around the small camp. A few empty bottles of wine sit by a folding chair, the Ghosts are quietly huddling together, giving space to their Guardians. Crow, after giving the Guardian and Cayde a small drowsy smile, has walked away to join Zavala and Ikora as they overlook the endless valley of the Pale Heart, contemplating. 

Cherish finds herself alone with Cayde. He comes to sit on the ground next to her, plucking a grass stem and fixing it in his mouth. 

“They are not very subtle, are they,” Cayde says. “Really want us to talk, huh.”

“Maybe we should.”

“Not to be all Crow-like, but I agree. We do need to talk, something important.”

Cherish looks at him, a curious sideways glance. 

It's been ages since they have shared a moment like this together. Never been good friends, not even as a mentor and mentee. A friction that neither could express or smooth out. But something companionable always tried to bloom between them. Maybe back then, she wasn't ready yet. And he didn’t want to push.

“You've changed,” Cayde says, and her spine crawls with a shiver. He notices and adds, “Hey, that's not a bad thing. If we all stay the same, what kinda world would that be? Change is beautiful. Painful, uncomfortable, but beautiful. And you turned it around. Look at you.”

Pride swells in her chest, tightening. At what cost is a question that hangs in the air. 

“It… wasn't easy. When you died.”

“Straight to the point, I see. Always liked that about you.”

“I mean it, Cayde,” she turns to look at him, meeting eye to eye. “You died, and I was meant to pick up the pieces. Go on a murder spree, stray from everything I've ever known, and when it was all done, I watched a man die - with a part of myself.”

Cayde's bright glowing eyes focus on her. She wants him to feel her desperate pain that still echoes from that time. Her confusion that muddled the thoughts, her headstrong intentions as she scoured the Reef for Uldren and for answers.

“It's a lot to ask of you, I understand.”

“It was expected as it was questioned. If I could become a vigilante overnight, then why couldn't others. And if I didn’t go and become one, then that would have sent the wrong message.”

Cayde sighs and moves a little closer. To her own surprise, she does the same, until their arms touch. And as another surprise, she finds her fingers encrusted with a layer of Stasis ice, crumbling at her notice. 

It's been too long since those thoughts surfaced quite so physically, and she suddenly feels drained. 

“I'm not gonna apologise,” Cayde prefaces, “but I get it. Maybe even more than you think. And I wish you weren't put in that position. And for that, I am sorry. The Vanguard always asks a lot of you.”

For a moment, they are quiet. 

“So… How did that happen?”

“What?”

Cayde glances over to Crow whose back is still turned, his cape softly flowing with the wind. 

Cherish huffs, rolling her eyes, but her lips are already smiling. 

“No, no, I'm not judging. Just curious. You keep giving each other those eyes and I keep wanting to push y’all into a tent and let you get on with it. Still, wonder how that came ‘round. Can't imagine it being all sunshine and rainbows after… Well.”

“Yeah... We did have some monster hunting, some Ascendant Plane racing, having the Traveler’s premonitions, being babysat by Savathun in disguise…”

As she numbers it off on her fingers, Cayde laughs.

“Well hold on there, tiger, not so fast. A who in disguise?”

“Don't tell me Crow didn't update you on that particular situation. He's efficient with his reports.”

“I'm well aware,” Cayde hums. “But I'd like to hear that from you. If you wanna share. Penny for your thoughts?”

Their eyes meet, and for a moment Cherish feels that maybe that camaraderie, long time in the making, can finally happen. She is different, she did change. So did Cayde.

He offers her an empty hand, and she squeezes it, holding on. But somehow, that handshake is worth a hundred thousand pennies - and a small pile of glimmer. 

[empty-pizza]

thoughts on gideon the ninth chapter thirty-five

lmao that's rough gideon. i'd feel like shit if i did that to someone too, even if it's not actually a bad thing to do and not your fault.

okay, it was dulcinea who killed people. yeah, that's better than ianthe. sorry for jumping the gun and blaming ianthe, last chapter. i did realize she wasn't implying it was her who did the killing midway through, though.

i maintain that this still isn't wholly surprising — the sick one, the one you'd never suspect, did it? wow, exactly what i'd expect — and making it harrow could have been a really bold and interesting move, but it works.

ohhh, it wasn't dulcinea septimus. okay, i see. not following why abigail's interest in history made her a threat, but we can keep going. the details of who she is (someone from the same family) are a bit hard to follow, but okay — she kept the corpse around and burned it with protesilaus's.

okay. this person wanted to get the emperor to come back to the system and fuck with him. who are the Hands? and now she wants to get rid of the houses while he waits, and then do... something to him?

oh this is a lyctor, huh. interesting.

oh and palamedes is already killing her

did palamedes just blow himself up?

that's a shame. he was my favorite character.

damn she really did vomit up a lung.

Cytherea the First, huh. soon to be Cytherea the dead, I hope.

Okay. I'd appreciate if any of the people who have been commenting on my post could tell me the foreshadowing for Dulcinea being the murderer, and Dulcinea not being Dulcinea. By the way, I appreciate all of your comments a ton, even though I haven't been replying (because apparently tumblr doesn't let you reply with your sideblog and using my main while mentioning I'm OP just kinda seemed like a hassle).

From a mystery perspective, I don't love this answer. I want two things for a mystery answer: One, to feel like it ties together so many pieces of evidence and foreshadowing that I realize I should have realized it all along and feel dumb. Two, ideally, for it to expand my perception of what is even possible as answer, which is pretty rare. Something like Knives Out, that treats the entire role of culprit in a unique way.

This is why I got really hyped up for the Harrow theory; I feel like her plot role was one you'd never expect to be the culprit and thus it'd be mindblowing if it was. I think it being not-Dulcinea is considerably more... regular, as a thing for a mystery story to do. I mean, I kind of called it early on that it could very well be her, since it would cause the most emotional pain for Gideon. I don't get credit for being right, because when it came time for me to put my money where my mouth is, I didn't say it was her. But like I said earlier, the sick, unassuming character? Kind of becomes just plain old assuming.

But that's just my preferences and personal expectations being projected onto a book that didn't necessarily need to conform to my ideas, and it works narratively nonetheless. I mean, clearly it does. And I hope that knowing what the foreshadowing is will enhance my appreciation. Plus, I don't even know what she did to kill Jeannemary and Isaac yet! Hope that's interesting.

From an entirely different perspective, though, this reveal is awesome. I love stories that start as one thing, only to unfold into something much bigger and more complex. That's something I like even more than the answer to the mystery being something I never would have considered — when the direction of the plot itself is like that. This started as a story about a bunch of people solving puzzles in a facility, but Dulcinea actually being Cytherea, a Lyctor, suddenly thrusts this story into something WAY bigger. There are so many questions I don't even understand well enough to ask, about the Houses, the history here, the emperor, the hands, the Lyctors, everything that's going on! This is a huge game that's being played and I am seriously looking forward to all the insane things I'd never expect that the next book will likely do. The possibilities are genuinely endless in my mind, of what this story will even be about, and that's a feeling I love. That, more than anything else, is the best thing you could take in inspiration from Homestuck and Umineko.

I'll hopefully finish the book tomorrow, but I seriously need to sleep now.

[ninlilwinds]

🐨 anon here~

I'd very much like that! though, I was thinking of letting you decide the characters since I feel like my request had one too many www

and welcome back! 💕 I hope you're doing better now. Thank you for staying strong and may everything continue sailing smoothly for you

Take 2 of Koala from One Piece-Like fem!reader

Characters: Kaeya, Childe, Xiao, Kazuha

Warning: Not proofread. Kind of sad at some points.

A/N: Hello!! I don't think your request had too many characters (i don't really have a limit, never enough >_<) Also, sorry it's so short....! Anyways I hope this is more aligned with the original request and that I picked characters you were okay with! ^^

He definitely found it somewhat strange. You always smiled at the most inappropriate times. At first, he didn't really pay too much attention to your habits, that is until you were inside the church of Mondstadt, wounded, and still smiling reassuring the sisters that you were okay

"B-but Miss (y/n)! You're losing so much blood, please!" Barbara tried working on you as you insisted, she worked on the other wounded before you.

"It's okay, get to me last if you can." You said with a smile.

Kaeya was unusually serious when he knelt down beside you on the mat, "(Y/n)." His voice was serious and reminded everyone of why he was the calvary captain.

You looked over, "Yes, sir?"

"You're getting checked by the sisters first, the others have minor wounds." You opened your mouth to argue but he placed his finger over your lips, "No arguments."

You nodded as you let yourself be checked, but what unnerved Kaeya the most was your smile. He knew what it was like to smile through pain. He wondered what had caused yours.

He used his smiles to hide secrets. When he stated dating you, he didn't much of it. But then he saw you home alone crying one day and when he rushed to your side, you looked up to him through a teary smile that broke his heart

Childe cupped your cheek, using his thumb to brush some tears away. His face creased with worry, "(y/n)...what's wrong?"

You shook your head and pulled away, your smile quivering as another sob bubbled in your throat, "Nothing, just felt kind of sad today."

"You should've called me, then." Childe pulled you back in and hugged you, rubbing your back.

"you're always busy though." You hugged him back, accepting his support.

Childe's heart broke. Sure, he was really busy most days, and sometimes he wasn't even in Liyue, but somewhere off in a different region, but that didn't mean you couldn't trust him. Your smile suddenly didn't feel real. He kissed the top of your head as your sniffles quieted down. His new mission was to see your actual smile.

coming from someone who has rarely smiled the past few centuries, he found you quite odd. Was there really that much goodness in this wretched world?

"(Y/n)." He called out your name to get your attention. You were both in the balcony of his special room, looking out over the sunset.

You turned your head, "Yes?" you smiled.

"Why is it that you seem to smile with no reason?" He asked.

You stared at him for a moment. How were you supposed to answer that? You didn't see no reason. You smiled to not cry. Was that a reason enough or would he think you weaker than he already did.

"Because there is a reason. You just don't see it." You responded as vaguely as possible.

He seemed to understand there was an underlying problem, but that you most likely didn't want to talk about it. There were things he didn't want to talk about that you respected. Although, he did hope that as you got closer, you would trust him enough to tell him.

He was someone who beleived there was a time and place for everything. There was a time to smile, a time to cry, a time to be mad. It seemed your clock had stopped though, because even as you told him about your past you simple smiled...

Kazuha looked at you, concerned. You were talking about all the things you had to go through, but you stared at into the ocean form the crow's next you were in. It was night and everything was dark, but the moon caused the water to shimmer.

You looked down at the lantern you had and smiled, "So, yeah...That's how I ended up here with everyone."

Kazuha noticed your eyes were glossy, and your smile had changed ever so slightly. He gently hugged you as he hummed into your ear, "It's okay to be sad."

You hesitated at first, but hugged him back, "I'm ok."

He stayed silent, not pulling away. You began to feel the tears stream down your face, and suddenly you were not "ok". You still smiled at him as you sobbed or tried too at least. It was all you could think of to do. He understood. Kazuha simply had to help you work through it, and he'd be right there every step of the way.

[shiraki-yurara]

On-Screen Lovers Part 2 Story Event - Jace - Chapter 3 - Premium End

Disclaimer: Morganatic Idol belongs to CYBIRD & ABC Frontier, Inc.

My Notes: Translation is for entertainment purpose only. Translation may or may not be correct. Please ignore any grammar mistakes.

The acting practice with Jace-san went smoothly.

Everything would surely be okay----- That was what I thought, but I still felt a pain in my chest.

---

Rina: Haa……

The next day, I sighed for the umpteenth time.

(Jace-san will kiss someone else……)

(Even though I knew it was an act, I didn't think I would be this shocked.)

The fact that I actually practiced with him made me feel even more jealous.

(No, this is not good. I have to change my attitude or Jace-san will notice.)

The moment I was dragging my heavy feet towards my room.

Jace: Rina-chan, can I talk to you for a second?

Rina: ! Jace-san.

I turned around in a hurry and Jace-san grabbed my hand.

Then I was taken into his room by Jace-san who happened to be passing by.

---

Rina: Why so sudden……. Kyaa!

Before I could finish my sentence, I was trapped in Jace-san's arms.

It was stronger than I had expected, as if he was trying to get at me.

Rina: Um, Jace-san?

Jace: Sorry for the suddenness. But please continue listening.

Jace: There's something that's been bothering me since I practiced my acting with you yesterday.

Jace: If I'm not mistaken……, are you jealous that I'm going to kiss an actress?

Rina: Eh?

My shoulders jumped as the thing I had been worrying about was pointed out to me.

(Jace-san, you noticed……)

Rina: Did it show on my face by any chance?

Jace: Honestly, I wasn't sure.

Jace: But our eyes didn’t really meet and you looked like you were worried……

Jace-san pulled away a little and looked into my face.

Jace: I was looking for you so we could talk, and the moment I saw your face, my body started moving on its own.

Jace: I knew immediately that I was making you feel uneasy……

Rina: I see.

Jace: Yeah. I mean, if I was in your position, I wouldn't like it at all.

Jace: I might yell at you not to go to the filming.

As I looked at Jace-san who frowned as he said that, my honest feelings came out.

Rina: …… As you said, Jace-san, I can’t let go of the feeling of unease since we kissed in our acting.

Rina: But more than that, I didn't want to get in the way of your work.

Rina: As someone who supports you, I want to give you my full support……

Rina: That's why I couldn't tell you.

I looked at Jace-san's face as I said this, and he narrowed his eyes as if dazzled.

And then, in the next moment, he brought his face closer to me-----

Rina: Nn.

Jace: ……I’m gonna do a deeper one, so close your eyes.

Rina: Eh……, nnn! Fuh……

His tongue slid in smoothly and began to move as if playing with me.

When he gently bit and sucked hard, my thoughts melted away in an instant.

I could barely breathe and my legs gave out.

Jace: Uh, are you okay? Maybe I was a bit too rough?

Rina: Ahh…… Why suddenly……

Jace: Because my girlfriend always says cool things.

Jace: However I wanted to pamper her more, so I put that feeling into my kisses.

Jace-san smiled awkwardly as he supported me.

Jace: I think your thought of ​​being an understanding lover is perfect.

Jace: I realized that I really can't compete with you, Rina-chan.

Jace: But personally, I'd like to hear more of your honest feelings…… Otherwise I'll feel lonely.

So, let me hear it.

As he spoke to me, I found myself opening my mouth before I knew it.

Rina: ……Honestly, I really hate it.

Rina: I want to shout out that you are my boyfriend, Jace-san…… I want to have you all to myself.

Jace: Yeah.

Rina: Please let me be pampered at least for today. Until this anxiety disappears.

Jace: ……Thank you for saying that. I'm so happy.

Jace-san's face lit up and he hugged me tightly.

Jace: Your words just now really touched my heart. You're so cute, I feel like I'm going to lose control……

Jace: Anyway, tonight, I'll be by your side just like you asked.

Without further ado, Jace-san picked me up and walked to the bed.

Then he put me down on the sheets and lay on top of me.

Rina: ……Jace-san……

Jace: Hehe, I like those eyes. Looks like you're expecting how I'll make love to you.

Jace: ……That's right, how about we change things up a bit and tie me up? It's a way of paying you back for practicing with me.

The moment I heard that, I remembered Jace-san restraining my wrists yesterday.

Rina: No, that's a bit……

Jace: Not feeling up to it? I am fine with anything you want to do to me.

Jace: For example, I want lots of kiss marks……

Saying that, Jace-san placed his lips on my neck.

Rina: …… I can't do that to your precious body, Jace-san.

Jace: Even if I want it myself?

The way Jace-san's hands moved over my body was so seductive.

Even though I could feel his breath on my collarbone, I somehow managed to nod.

Jace-san's expression suddenly softened and he looked up.

Jace: Okay. Then you don't have to leave a mark. Instead……

Jace: Tell me everything you want me to do. I'll spoil you tonight.

Rina: Jace-san……

His words, filled with love and concern for me, made my heart ache.

Jace: This won't be my last acting job, and I'd like to try other roles.

Jace: So there may be things that make you feel uneasy from now on.

Jace: But every time that happens, I'll make sure you know that everything I own belongs to you.

Jace: You're the only one I will give kisses filled with love to……

I quietly nodded in response to his sincere confession.

And then our lips naturally met.

(I'm so happy right now……)

Every time we touched each other, I felt his love, and my heart and body trembled with joy.

Rina: Jace-sa…… nnn……

Jace: Hmm…… Where do you want me to touch you next? Tell me.

Rina: It’s embarrassing……

Jace: You promised to tell me everything, right? Come on……

Rina: Ah……

Jace-san's hands reached out to my sensitive areas in an attempt to get me to speak.

The sweet, slow and fast stimulation made my body and mind feel aroused.

Rina: Ahh, kiss me…… more.

Jace: Sure. I'll do it as many times as you want.

We kissed so deeply that the distance between us disappeared……

We embraced each other forever.

[teen-antisocial]

SPEAK NOW

TRACK FIVE

DEAR JOHN

NANCY WHEELER X MALE READER

ANGST

Its safe to say his family were absolutely mortified with the events that had just happened. Their son had just had his heart broken by a family friends daughter. Nancy Wheeler. Y/N Y/L/N had been used by his best friends sister. All because their family is related to a serial killer.

Mike had relentlessly there with Y/N since it had all kicked off. Since Nancy made her intentions know with his best friend. Karen and Ted weren't too fussed and just thought it was normal. Mike didn't however. He hated the fact that his best friend had just been used by Nancy.

Currently, the two boys were laying in Y/N’s bed. Y/N felt nothing. He was heartbroken. “If you don't mind me asking, Y/N, what was if like dating Nancy?”

He took a breath out, not knowing what to say. Y/N looked at Mike, then his lips started moving “long were the nights when my days once revolved around her. Counting my footsteps, praying the floor won't fall through”

Mike sighed, he didn't know what he went through during this time. In his mind, he was happy that his best friend had a possibility of been his brother, but it wasn't the case. “And my mother accused me of losing my mind. But I swore I was fine” he continued with a soft chuckle.

“From the sounds of it, she'd pain you a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain” Mike sighed refuering to all the conversations he had overheard between the ex lovers and everything that was just coming out.

“And it felt like I lived in her chess game, and she changed the rules everyday. When she'd ring I would be wondering which version of her I might get on the phone that night…”

“I can see why you left…” Mike's soft voice spoke up, shuffling closer, and resting his arm around the other. He knew the real reason. And yet it was so hard for him to understand that his big sister used his best friend. But the more Mike thought about it, the more it started to sound like something Nancy would do.

Suddenly, the phone started ringing. Causing the two boys to look over. Y/N, immediately knowing who it was. But he stopped picking up. Why? Well he stopped picking up and started thinking, this speech is to let you know why…

Well if he had the guts, he'd say, “Dear Nancy, I see it all now that you're gone. Don't you think I was too young to be messed with? The boy in the suite cried the whole way home. I should've known…”

The phone continued ringing but neither boy would pick up. They just looked at it aimlessly, knowing it would stop ringing. But not knowing for how long. It was clear Nancy was going to ring again, it was in her nature.

Eventually, the phone stopped ringing, letting both the boys breathe. “Y/N?” Mike asked, turning his focus to the boy in front of him.

“Yeah Mike”

“What would you say if you ever saw Nancy again?”

“Probably nothing, I'd walk away…”

“If you picked up the phone?”

“probably something like; well maybe it's me, and my blind optimism to blame, or maybe it's you and took sick need to give love and then take it away, and you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand. And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said ‘run as fast as you can’”

However the boy missed out the fact he would say “Dear Nancy, I see it all now that you're gone. don't you think i was too young to be messed with? the boy in the suite cried the whole way home. Dear Nancy, I see it all now, it was wrong. Don't think you think seventeen's too young to be played by your dark, twisted games when I love you so? I should've known!”

Suddenly, the phone began ringing again. Of course it did. Only this time, one of them picked up. Y/N walked over and yanked it off the stand. “What?” He shouted into the phone.

“Look Y/N would you please hear me out! I'm sorry. I never meant to use you like that. I loved you so much!”

“You are an expert at sorry and keeping the lines blurry!”

You could almost hear Nancy sobbing on the other end of the phone. “Please… I know I messed up! Please! I just wanted a good grade and I went about it in the wrong way!”

“You know you never impressed me by acing your tests! Or all the boys that you've run dry have tired lifeless eyes cause you burned them out” Y/N argued referring to how bad of a state she had left Jonathon and Steve in.

“But you were different! I felt something different towards you!”

“why? because I fell for it, in a shorter amount of time. But, remember, I took your matches before fire could catch me! so don't look now. I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town!”

“Please! Just hear me out!”

“Dear Nancy, I see it all now that you're gone! Don't you think i was too young to be messed with? the boy in the suite cried the whole way home and i see it all now that you're gone”

“look please!”

“Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?”

“please… just hear me out!”

“the boy in the suite wrote you this!”

Mike was just watching with his jaw on the flaw. Amazed with what he was watching. No one had ever spoken to Nancy like that, and here Y/N was. “You should've known…” Mike whispered almost inaudibly. But then he plucked up some courage and shouted “you should've known Nancy!”

“Don't you think I was too young?” Y/N cried

“I should've known…” Nancy muttered before putting down the phone in disbelief.

if you want to support this account; please like and follow, maybe even repost and go look on my AO3 and Wattpad - both under the name teen_antisocial. and if you're feeling up to it, please buy me a coffee but please don't feel pressured to.

MASTERLIST

SPEAK NOW MASTERLIST

[thatboxylady]

nothing like a mini fic where jetstorm from a thrust reformatted au meets the canon universe thrust :)

"Neither of us is the real deal, you know," Jetstorm finally said. Better to address the proverbial elephant in the room now before they hurt themselves worse, or frag forbid an actual elephant came through-- damn Maximals. He was too tired to add any real sass to his inflection for the sake of a bit, because the only bit he was having to deal with right now was the piece of broken reality in front of him. He felt like he was going crazy. "Not as far as the other is concerned. Sorry. All we are to each other is a... copy. Copies."

"What makes you say that?"

Even hearing his voice felt wrong. At least the feeling seemed to be mutual? For as mutual as you could get when the world was upside down with nothing to adhere to, because none of this should have been happening. Thrust was still standing relatively stiff and squared off, which was a telltale sign he was anxious. Primus, it was like he never left. Like...

Both Vehicons continued to linger by the edge of the pit. Neon green bioluminescence splashed over their frames. it smelled like rotting organic matter and rust down here. The stank of underground musk was mud drenched in battery acid. Vague sulfur lingered on his olfactory sensors like the disorientation that came from a waking nightmare. "Storm?"

"We're not from the same..." Jetstorm hated how he was struggling with this. Talking to a reflection of a dead man who somehow wasn't dead in the way he had become used to was a little unnerving, honestly. "Urgh. Roller wonder, you know what I'm trying to say. If you're anything like my version of Thrust, you would understand..."

"I know. I ain't playin' dumb, I promise. I'm just wanting to figure out if you're thinkin' the same way my Jetstorm would." Thrust shrugged, and frag, even the way he held himself was identical. "That make sense?"

"Was there even any difference between our universes besides... this?" Jetstorm gestured to the pit and regretted taking a closer look. On the rock jutting from the center of the pool were marks. Some with fushia paint transfer from where his Thrust had tried to bash his own head in; with blue where his own counterpart had tried the same. Whatever was necessary to stop the pain each must have gone through. The blending of their realities had superimposed those separate instances on top of each other, leaving them plain to see in all its technicolor suffering. They were looking at their own doppelgangers' graves as much as someone they cared about.

"You mean the other one dying," Thrust mumbled. "I haven't noticed, if that makes you feel any better. You're identical."

"It doesn't. I'm still thinking that this feels wrong," Jetstorm murmured. "You're not my Thrust. I'm not willing to replace him. What would he--?"

"I'd think he'd want you to be happy," Thrust suddenly said. He didn't look at him, keeping his stare straight at that same rock. The green refracting off his armor made him look as sick as sad. "I'd want you to be happy, y'know? Ain't a lot of that in abundance around here. We always what we get and don't question the good stuff when it comes, because gettin' too comfortable means that losing it will hurt."

That was more than fair.

"I say we take it for what it is. No one's getting replaced," Thrust continued. Now he did turn to look at him. "We're just picking where the other left off so we get taken care of. I think that's why this is happening. We could take it for what it is-- no one is replacing anyone."

Jetstorm scoffed. "You wouldn't be even a little upset?"

"Would you?"

Theeere it was. The hail mary gone bloody in the face of losing everything you cared about, versus gaining it back through a looking glass. What was even real at this point? Was it worth trying to figure out when your entire world was ripped out from underneath you, only to get dropped back on your plate as if his partner, friend, mate hadn't been murdered? "No."

"We ain't ever gettin' a second chance as good as this one."

Jetstorm hummed. "Guess not, roller boy."

"That settles it, then-- right? You wanna go? I could use a drink. Maybe a reintroduction, too. I'll try not to ram you off a freeway this time."

Jetstorm managed to laugh at that. It was only a little, but it was a start. Running away with a second chance felt like "We could try to get this right this time. Better be careful! I still bite, biker boy."

The bastard laughed right back, and damn. After going so long without hearing that smokey codec, having it resonating against his processor bordered something beautiful. "That ain't ever scared me."

All they ever had between them was blues despite the stardom; bruised in all the glamour laid before them. This broken life they were born into was the only one they had, with the few parts shared between them that made it worth surviving. Through all of the sorrow, though? Jetstorm was ready to feel like flying high again-- this reflection of Thrust seemed more than ready to do the same. Even with all they had lost, the truth of the matter was neither one of them had ever let the other go. "Nothing wrong with that," Jetstorm answered.

[snow-143]

The Truth Untold- Kim Taehyung |

ten- dreams are cruel (1.6k words)

'Taehyung... you're a fucking idiot.'

'Don't you think I already know that.' without even looking at him, I know there's a pained look on his face. He missed his opportunity.

'It's okay don't worry, you'll have more chances, if she's willing to kiss you once she'll be willing to kiss you again.' I can't help but see the deeper meaning in my words. Even though the last time we shared a kiss was years ago I think there's still a part of me willing to go there again. The part of me that sees sense out ways that though.

'You really think so.' Looking at him now, I see glimpses of longing in his eyes, not a new one either, rather a deep-rooted one that been investing his brain for years. Has he really liked her for that long?

The thought stings, not in a sense that he likes her now, I know how he feels and there's nothing left for us anyway. But rather in a way that there is a very high chance that he liked her all those years ago.

'Yes I do think so, in fact I know so. You want to know why?' Instead of verbally responding he prompts me with his eyes instead. It's funny that after all these years I can still understand his little micro aggressions.

Instead of lingering on this thought, I continue my point, 'that girl knows what she wants, okay? She's not the type to do something without thinking it through. All her actions are calculated and benefit her in some way. So I know that in her doing that proves that she's more than willing to go for it again.'

He sighs at this, 'you speak of her as if she's a manipulative mastermind.' To this I just raise my eyebrow.

'Right. Anyway, you and Jimin seemed... cozy.'

'Oh that, well I had to give you your in one way, and he was just being a gentleman.' to my surprise I'm met with a laugh.

'Jimin? A gentleman? Are we talking about the same Jimin?'

'I'd hope we are. You obviously know him better than me but from what I can see he's really sweet.'

'Yeah he can be, but not just to anyone y/n.' Tilting my head I look for the meaning behind his words. What the fuck does not just to anyone mean.

'Whatever. You're just mad because he likes me more than you.'

'...'

'Tough crowd I guess.' oh, he does not look amused at all.

'Anyway, we're getting completely off of track. Now spill, did she give you butterflies? She so did didn't she! I bet the only reason you didn't kiss her was because you were too nervous. I mean I don't blame you she has that affect on men. God, she even gives me butterflies sometimes-'

My rant is rudely interrupted by a call of my name. 'Yes I got butterflies.' There’s this look in his eyes, I can't quite place it but all I know is that his gaze is set in stone right onto me. Why is he looking at me like that while talking about my best friend?

'She had this look in her eyes, like I held everything she needed, that I was everything she needed. It was like she was telling me she'd do anything I asked of her, and if I'm being honest I'd do the same.'

'Wait, you're talking about Eun here right? Eun who looks at men like they're some prize to win?'

'Um yeah, of course I'm talking about her, who else would I be talking about?' And just like that the whole atmosphere has shifted. Why is it suddenly so awkward...

'It's getting late, I should go.' As much as breaking the silence felt excruciating, the thought of sitting there any longer was worse.

'Wait.' I can feel like hand encasing my wrist as I get up to leave. I silently wait for him to continue, but he doesn't. Instead, we just stand there, looking at each other.

There's a strange look in his eyes, one that soothes me yet puts me on edge all at once. Hesitant of what's to come.

Eventually he mumbles something, 'Don't go.'

'What?'

'Um I mean, won't Eun hear you leaving my room? She probably won't be asleep yet.'

'Oh, right. I suppose that's true.' My heart does the silly little thing it likes to do when it's let down. But that's stupid. Why would I be disappointed that he didn't actually want me to stay? I was the one who wanted to leave in the first place.

'You can stay here for a little if you like, just until we can be sure she's asleep.'

'Okay.' I give him an unsure smile, before making my way back to my spot in his bed. This time getting a little more comfortable.

—————

Rolling over I cuddle deeper into my pillow. Letting out a content sigh I breathe in the intoxicating smell that seems to be attached to it, my brain feels all hazy, but I'm not complaining, I've always loved the feeling when you wake up from one of the best sleeps you've ever had and have no idea how or when you got there.

It's not for a while until I realise that something's not right. My pillow is a bit too hard, and smells a little too familiar. However, I ignore this, too wrapped up in how content I feel in my sleepy disorientation.

That is until I realise my pillow has arms... that are wrapped around my waist. And the fact that my pillow seems to be at least the length of my whole body.

Hesitantly I open up my eyes, 'What. The. Fuck.' it's quite enough but the boy who's got me locked into a vice grip still stirs.

Deciding it'll be far less embarrassing to pretend I'm still asleep I lock my eyes shut.

But the embarrassment doesn't come... instead a wave of warmth fills me instead. Because the sweet boy under me doesn't startle, he doesn't shout at me asking what the fuck I'm doing in his bed.

Instead, he starts to stroke my hair, and I am the one shouting what the fuck again, except in my head this time.

Maybe he's just confused. He probably doesn't even realise it's me, I reason. But all of my reason is thrown out of the window when he begins to speak, 'is this another dream y/n? It must be... well if that's the case I might as well indulge myself.'

He never stops playing with my hair throughout all of this, and I must admit I'm very close to falling back to sleep. Because for all I know this is not his dream but mine, and I'll be damned if I don't enjoy it while it lasts.

So here I am lying on Tae's chest, letting him whisper to me things that only half make sense.

I can't tell if i what this to be a dream or not. Part of me wishes that what he is saying is real and not some fantasy my brain has conjured up, but the other half of me is praying it's not real because where the hell do I go from here.

'These dreams are so cruel. I get to hold you, to talk to you, to see you looking so angelic only for my eyes. And god do they feel real, but then I'm brought back to reality. A reality where I haven't held you in years. I hate that reality.'

His hands move, instead taking their place on my back and waist, soothing circles across my skin. Then his lips are meeting my head, and I can't help but think, if this is a dream it's one I hope to never wake up from.

But soon I am waking up, except, I'm still in Tae's room, surrounded by his smell, his aura and most importantly him.

Wait... so did that really happen or is it just some fever dream my brain conjured up.

'Tae?' I get the confidence to speak up this time. Probably because I'm no longer facing him. Instead, I'm lying on my side, my back to his chest.

The only response I get is a groan. I can't help but giggle at that. That is until I notice something poking my butt and suddenly nothing's funny anymore.

'Tae...' I try again.

'Mhhh.' He pulls me impossibly closer to him. And I can't take it anymore. Out of what I can only describe as shock I slap his hand, I need out if this situation right now.

'Y/nieee.' Why is this only getting worse.

'Tae, please wake up before I die of embarrassment.' He loosens his grip slightly, but it's still not enough for me to make an escape.

Okay calm down y/n its basic biology, there's nothing to be embarrassed over. But boy am I embarrassed. How did I even get into this situation? I curse myself, trying to recall the previous night.

The last thing I remember is sitting down on his bed and deciding I should at least get comfortable if I have to wait out Eun going to sleep.

Me and my fucking comfort.

'Y/n.' Relief overtakes me as I hear his sleepy voice. Oh, boy... his sleepy voice.

'Thank fuck, you're awake.'

'What are you doing here?' His arms are still secure around my waist.

'I was hoping you could tell me that.'

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a/n: idk how to feel about my writing lately

[aickerman-s]

Hello again👋

Hey all, long time no see.

For those who uhhhhh still remember me lol, I wanted to write a little update post on where I've been/why I disappeared etc.

So, I've probably not logged on to tumblr for about a year and there's many reasons for that. I've been debating whether or not to explain them at all for a while now, but I think I wanted to just get it out there and be open about stuff for a bit. This blog, and this community has meant a lot to me over the years, and the support I got from it all in my writing is more important to me than y'all know.

Basically, there's a (very!) good/positive reason that I've been away, and also a not-so-good one. Details below:

First, the good reason! The very good exciting awesome amazing reason: I got my dream writing job! I had the amazing opportunity to work as a video game writer on a project I'm so proud of and so incredibly grateful to have been a part of. Understandably, I was quite busy with that for the better part of 2023! The game is out now, and if anyone would like the link/to learn more about it please feel free to send me a dm! (Like, please, I'd love to brag about it!) Not going to post the link publically simply because I've always preferred to keep my blog free of irl/professional details, etc.

Some of you may remember I was briefly part of another game project a few years ago as lead writer, which fell through. Ever since I've been trying to get my first published credit, and now I have it <3 I'm a professional writer!!! 🥳 I'm very proud of the work we did, and I hope some of y'all will try it out!

But if working two jobs for most of the year wasn't enough, there's been something else that's kept me in a strange place this year - the not-so-good reason I've been quiet. This one is a bit more personal, and something I didn't want to reveal until now: content warning here, for both physical and mental health discussion.

Nearly two years ago now, I developed some rather debilitating symptoms of an unknown medical condition. While I've had chronic pain from another condition for most my life, the symptoms this new condition left me with were, quite frankly, terrifying. And terrifyingly, they appeared pretty much overnight. While I don't want to get into all the details, I've had to change and adapt a lot of things in my life to try and come to terms with this new normal - because sadly, these symptoms have not went away.

For the first 10/11 months or so of this condition, I was pretty much brute forcing my way through it - trying to tough my way through life as normal as if everything wasn't suddenly so much harder than it already was. About a year ago, I reached a breaking point. I had been hoping that all of this was just temporary, and was beginning to see that it wasn't.

While I had started the incredibly long and draining process of tests, hospital and doctor's appointments to try and investigate my condition, I realised at the start of 2023 that I had also become scarily depressed. I've struggled with and overcome depression before in my life, but this felt like so much uncharted territory. To be perfectly honest, I've always been proud of my own willpower and determination when dealing with depression in the past, but this year was the closest I've ever felt to truly giving up.

...And that's scary to admit - to myself, let alone anyone reading this! But admitting it pushed me into seeking the extra support I needed (therapy) throughout this journey. And a journey it is - while I'm much better mentally than I was in January, and I'm now on some medication to help alleviate the worst symptoms of my condition, my diagnosis is still a ways off. In the meantime, I've been coming to terms with the changes I've needed to make in my life, and the ones still to come.

It's been a lot, this year, trying to juggle a new disability and a new dream job - on top of the old job, poor mental health, and the complexity of coming to terms with the word 'disability'. There were times throughout the year when I wanted to open up tumblr and just browse through some rivamika internet goodness.

But I couldn't. My perfectionism and imposter syndrome and all these other factors led to me putting quite a lot of pressure on myself - every time I thought about tumblr I thought "I can't log on, I don't have any new chapters to post; I haven't responded to people's messages; it's already been way too long since I've updated; I'm such a terrible fanfic writer I've been inconsistent for years; I'm not allowed to log on unless I update a fic, and even then I'll have to apologise for being so late-".

So, I didn't. In all the weirdness I managed to convince myself that I would come back to... I don't know, interrogations or something 😂 It sounds quite silly now that I type it out. But I'm in a better place now, and I'm hoping I can get back to the no-pressure fun of writing fics soon.

As for my fanfics, would you believe me anymore if I said I still plan to finish them? 😂 I've even had drafts of the next chapters of both A Man, in a Bar and Fear and Fidelity sitting here for ages, but I'd managed to convince myself they weren't good enough to post. I've been thinking about them a lot lately, which is a good sign I think. I've been itching to write Levi and Mikasa again. So while I won't make any promises or such about updates/schedules or whatever, I just wanted to let it be known that I still want to continue these stories. (If I, and the readers, can even remember what happened in them😅). I might even take some prompts soon to get back into the swing of things!

But yeah... that's my update! It's probably the most personal I've ever gotten on this blog, and I hope that's okay. I felt like I needed it - to clear the air, of sorts. I sincerely hope everyone in this lil' community has been doing well, and is having a safe and happy holiday season. Thanks for reading, if you've managed to get through this big personal post! I love and appreciate everyone I've interacted with through this blog, and hope to get back into it again <3