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rosinbae · 1 year ago

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shattered ⋆ kim taerae

◜✧◞ SYNOPSIS ─ where unfortunately for kim taerae, the truth hurts, and pierces his heart right where it shouldn't.

◜✧◞ PAIRING ─ kim taerae x male!reader

◜✧◞ GENRE ─ literally just angst.

◜✧◞ WARNINGS ─ mentions of overworking and passing out.

taerae knows this is a bad sign.

y/n only practices until three in the morning if he genuinely feels sick to his stomach, if he genuinely feels that he isn't doing good enough and has to work extra hard so that he doesn't disappoint anyone watching his performance.

unfortunately, this isn't a newly developed habit, y/n has been doing this ever since he first joined wakeone as a trainee. if he got an especially bad scolding from the dance instructor, he'd practice himself to death to try and prove them wrong.

he'd do anything just to make sure he wasn't lacking in any of his skills, anything about his performance that made someone else upset was immediately something he had to fix.

even it meant practicing so hard he would just collapse onto the floor of the practice room.

taerae remembers feeling afraid.

he remembers listening to hanbin console a concerned junghyun as he desperately covered his ears, trying to cover out any mention of y/n and his horrible state, too afraid to think about if he would even wake up the next day.

y/n is fragile, he takes many things to heart, though he doesn't cry as often as he used to, he constantly tries to prove others wrong by doing his best. of course he always does do his best but then there's something else to be nitpicked and then he has to fix that too.

he can just never win.

like at the moment.

taerae is usually a heavy sleeper, he doesn't wake up easily no matter what, but as he stares at the clock beside his bed, the one which reads 3:42 am, he feels a pit form in his stomach as he notices y/n's empty bed beside him.

he flinches upon hearing the door open, but relaxes as soon as he sees the familiar figure of y/n. his relaxation doesn't last long, though, because he sees how worn out y/n looks, and it's enough to make him frown.

"hi".

"hi" taerae smiles. even though he expects that to be the end of that, but y/n stares at him for a moment, which gets taerae worried.

"can i sit with you?"

"shouldn't you go to sleep?" taerae mutters, he feels that's the right thing to say because they have to wake up early tomorrow. tomorrow being the day which determines what the next 2 and a half years of their lives may look like.

y/n doesn't listen, and taerae doesn't bother. he's tired, exhausted, frustrated from having to perform the same song for five hours, worried that he may not debut, and may not debut with one of his friends in fact. when taerae makes space for him, he sits by him and simply blinks.

"taerae" he starts, and taerae simply stares back at him. he always liked it when y/n said his name, because it was like he pronounced each letter with surprising precision, as if they were all equally important to pronounce. "i don't have a good feeling".

"does that have to do with your or practicing all day again?" he asks rather loudly, making him cover his mouth. that is what gets a small laugh out of y/n, and that makes taerae feel glad, because it's been a while since he's laughed.

"i'm not gonna make it, taerae" he says, a sad smile coming to his face as he says those words. "it's not meant for me".

taerae furrows his eyebrows. "y/n—"

"i know that this is all i've been working for and giving up is horrible but at this point, there is nothing that'll make me debut".

"what makes you think that?" taerae wants him to be wrong, he wants to try and convince y/n that he deserves that spot, because he does. he worked his ass off every day, always did better each time if he got the smallest scolding, took care of his fellow wakeone trainees, even if he wasn't taking care of himself.

there is nothing that can convince taerae that he doesn't deserve to debut, he did so much, he tried so hard, giving up is never what he does.

but it seems he's too tired now.

"i constantly try, constantly try my best but then there's something wrong with my performance and i can never do anything correctly! i'm tired of trying taerae, first our debut was canceled and then we get thrown into a stupid survival show and it's like wakeone is doing everything to prevent me from debuting, i'm tired.."

his eyes well up with tears, and taerae doesn't remember the last time he's seen him like that. "i just want to debut, it's been two years and i've achieved nothing".

"but that's not true" taerae argues, and y/n takes in a deep breath, not wanting to sob in taerae's bed at three in the morning. "y/n, you can't give up yet, were so close.."

"no you're so close" y/n confirms, making taerae shut his eyes. "as much as i wanna debut, it's not gonna be possible. i wanted to debut with you, and hanbin, and jeonghyeon, woonggi, and sungmin but, fuck we can't, we just can't, there is really nothing left for me".

taerae wants to try so hard to tell him that he's wrong, to tell him that he's gonna make it, and he'll finally achieve his dreams of debuting, but it's not that y/n thinks he won't, he knows he won't debut.

he's tried so hard, time and time again, he'd put on a brave face as to not worry anybody, but he hates that all of efforts are looked over, and that he won't get a place in the debut lineup.

"taerae, i believe in you".

but why won't you believe in yourself? taerae desperately wants to say, he wants to give him hope, wants to tell him that everything's gonna be okay and that they're gonna laugh together tomorrow when they both end up debuting.

but it was the truth, y/n wasn't gonna make it, he can't climb over nine ranks in the span of the night. even if he's talented, even if he's worked so hard to the point that he's passed out, even with how many times he failed and continued to try, it didn't matter. not to the voters, not to the mnet editors, not to anyone.

taerae wants all of that be a lie. he wants to close his eyes and open them to see all of his wakeone friends laughing over stupid jokes, he just wants to be happy, wants y/n to be happy.

he just wants to live in a world where he can debut with all of his friends, where y/n will finally be recognized for his talents, where they can finally debut together like how y/n promised back in their first year as wakeone trainees.

y/n reaches for taerae's hand and simply places it on his cheek, wiping his own tears. "i wanted us to debut together, y/n" taerae mutters, and y/n gives a small hum.

"i'm so sorry" he mumbles, as if he's at fault for something. he wants to debut with taerae too, he promised him the first time they met that they would debut together somehow, even if the circumstances are weird.

taerae hates that this is the truth, he hates that this is the unfortunate way y/n has to tell him that he can't make it, even though taerae thinks he deserves it more than anyone. "you deserve to debut, you worked so hard".

"everybody did" he sighs. "there's just no more hope for me, taerae".

taerae stares at y/n, who simply rests against his palm. he then looks back to the clock beside his bed.

4:03 am.

#kim taerae #zerobaseone #zb1 #zb1 taerae #zb1 imagines #kim taerae x reader #kim taerae imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 drabbles

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abysmal-black · 11 months ago

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Law scoffs as Stealth Black keeps trying to tell him someone else controls what he needs and does. Well, everyone of these Germa dick bags can take that mind set and shove it up their ass. Law is not going to be caged in by a near-incompetent blowhard that wants to micromanage this project. If Judge wanted a fucking ‘yes man’ to solve his problem then he shouldn’t have asked Trafalgar Law to help. Sure, the guy made it sound like a demand but if he could do this without a genius surgeon then he would have. So, no, Judge doesn’t tell Law what he needs. Law tells Judge what he needs. Thing is, Law doesn’t actually need the genetic mapping data. He just wants it. The doctor listens to his host’s reactions to his rant and Law takes in everything. He notes the defeat in Sanji’s tone at first. Then comes that genuine curiosity about his motives. A look in his eyes like a man seeing the sky for the first time. Like a drowning man taking a breath of fresh air. There is something here, something vulnerable and something Law can use. The guy hides it well and if Law wasn’t as observant as he is he suspects he wouldn’t see it. He wouldn’t see any of the emotions Sanji shows if Law didn’t have an eye for people and have his own experience with emotion control. There is a sense of smug pride inside him at the sight of this because it confirms a theory. Stealth Black has more emotion in him than his brothers. Law can use that. And then there is the reaction to his insult. Starts off angry, which is perhaps a learned reaction, and then there is a sadness here. Something heavy that Law isn’t all that surprised by. Given how Judge treats his kids as experiments Law can imagine what this guy’s childhood was like. That kind of thing makes him furious. Makes him want to turn Judge inside out and show him real fear. You don’t treat family like tools, like guineapigs. It’s wrong and that kind of monster deserves to die slow. But Law keeps that from his features. Instead, he simply shrugs. “Oh, I am smart enough. Could figure it out easily,” Law says, the confidence in his voice real. “Thing is, between runnin’ my crew and trying to survive I don’t have the time or the resources. And, sorry to break it to you but you guys aren’t the only ones to have figured out the lineage factor. Vegapunk has too but his research is guarded by the World Government. My chances of gettin’ the info from them is basically non-existent. Getting it from Judge will be much easier. I mean, he’s already welcomed me into his home.” The doctor smirks at that, looking perhaps a little too wicked. He then pauses, brow furrowing as he considers that other, simple question. “Not entirely sure why I wanna be able to do all those things,” he continues, head lowering to shadow his features beneath his hat. “I think I just want to be the one that says I did it, that I saved those lives and made things better for people. Me, a pirate and a monster, capable of healing when our supposed heroes just let the sick and ailing die.” There is bitterness in his voice there and he doesn’t appear to notice it.

“Easily huh? I don't doubt it.” Judge never outsources projects like this and to a pirate no less. Compliments are sparingly delivered; the prince able to count ones tossed his way on one hand. Sanji sees the frustration and turbulence the surgeon's presence brings to the well oiled machine that is Germa and knows Judge would prefer to kill the man and retrieve his devil fruit than play such a delicate game of pleasing Law with just enough to actually complete his part. A new user of the Ope Ope no mi isn't worth the hassle and Sanji is very aware of his limits if pitted against Law.

“So, Vegapunk’s research might as well not exist then.” He smirks, eyelids finally drooping with his high settling in. “Home is a strong word.” A pit of pacing seabeast whose only enrichment is a hunt.

Curly brows lowers, mind chewing away at the man's words. There's something there that makes them more alike than not. The world didn't come to save either of them from the cruel indifference of circumstances. “Better reason than any.” He shrugs. What the hell does he know about saving people? Maybe if there was someone like Law on Germa, his mother would have survived.

“Fine.” Fingers not pinching the joint come up to massage the bridge of his nose. Ichiji has plans to depart on an assignment with Niji in the coming days, without the analy retentive crowned prince present they could move a little easier. Even if they were caught Sanji could still try to spin his idea with promising benefits for Germa and combating Law’s stubbornness. “In four days I'll arrange for two clone cadavers to go missing for three hours.” Two fingers jab at the air in the surgeon's general direction, single visible eye narrowing. “No devil fruit shenanigans, no notes and I will supervise the entire time.” This is a bad idea; clones are expendable on the battlefield because they degrade into scientifically inert sludge however Germa scientist regularly dissect parbaked clones to check for genetic defects and lineage degradation. The prince recalls many biopsies as a child, nowadays each sibling recives a physical at least once every three months for continued stability. Sanji's is due in three days, the results always coming in a day later. The flashier branch of his tool kit is the product of his suit, training and implants to counter any possible rejections but his brother's and him are as good as clones however he still hasn't decided whether to share that with the pirate just yet.

Tongue darts across his lips, lopsided smile showing a line of straight teeth. “Sounds better than the redacted reports you've 'stumbled' upon during your nightly walks, huh?” Those strolls of his were reason enough to dissolve their contract, Ichiji would see him dead while Sanji found the arrogance amusing. Empty hand turns palm up to hold his chin, expression faintly smug but expectant as he leans into the stone with his elbow.

#medicus mortem #▴▴accounted for ██▵ ic #▴▴flip it and reverse it ██▵ germa verse

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saltymongoose · 3 years ago

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GAHAHAHAHHGAHGDHA WAIT WAIT WIAT IMAGINE PHOBOS TREATING CHRISTOFF BEING YOUR NEXT VESSEL AS A THOSE MOVIE BREAK UPS

suddently theres multiple orders of ice cream buckets(is that how you call them?) and milk to his room and every one is super confused

And while he seems fine in public, maybe a lot harsher to Christoff but still fine mostly, then gets to his room and has a tantrum

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME! HOW DARE THAT LOW LIFE, SCUMMY, CRUSTY ASS OLD MAN BE MY PLAYER'S NEW VESSEL!!" throwing shit around and eventually just, sitting down on his bed and fucking DOWNING a buckets and milk gallons a night and honestly crying from frustration and anger and a bit of sadness

Fucking- sad music blasting when he showers and just stays there all sad, leaning on the wall like

".... Am I not interesting enough to them?..."

And r e f u s e s to leave his room for hours after he's meant to already be in his office doing important stuff

-Plague Anon [|87

You are so right lmao. When Phobos was confronted with the fact that Christoff, the one grunt who was always staunchly in opposition to him and his ideas, was the one who'd been blessed by having his God's influence he was beyond distraught. The swirling mixture of anger, confusion, and hurt would form a pit in his stomach, causing him to lash out more than usual that day as he tried to process it. On the outside he just might seem more irritable than normal, but mentally, he's on the verge of completely falling apart. Phobos didn't believe that he had the ability to feel "self-doubt", but your indirect "rejection" of him would shake him to the core. It puts him in the position of questioning his own worth, which he's never done before. Seeing you with Christoff makes him feel sick in every sense of the word.

And this feeling only festers, dampening into genuine despair when he finally has to retire for the night, forced to do something other than ignoring most of his feelings through his work. This is where the tantrums come in, with all of his conflicting emotions boiling over into anguish over what'd happened. He'll pace around his suit and mutter incessantly to himself, sometimes breaking out in yells about how unfair it is that Jeb of all people would have your attention. I mean, Christoff couldn't even begin to understand you; he wasn't nearly as acquainted with the wants of Gods as Phobos was, nor did he put in the work to worship you at all times of the day.

Honestly it really is like one of those dramatic breakup scenes in a movie, with him gorging himself on sweets, ice cream and milk while sobbing, listening to (cliched) sad songs (i.e. "lucid dreams", "baby come back", anything that's even mildly depressing-it's that bad). Honestly, he probably ends up just laying in his shower with his clothes still on, not caring enough to do anything to fix himself up as he wallows in his own depression about what this means. That his efforts and the countless hours, days, and months spent all for you weren't enough. That his motivations weren't good enough. That he wasn't powerful enough. That you didn't find him as interesting as that low-life scientist. That maybe he hadn't presented himself as well as you would've liked, and that all of his worship and reverence towards you wasn't adequate.

He falls asleep on the floor that night right next to the shrine he's procured for you, the last real connection he knows he must have with his God. His last conscious thoughts and words are of desperate prayer, begging and pleading you to come back and choose him. He doesn't know what mistakes he's made, but he's willing to completely remake himself if it'd make you like him. He was the proud God Emperor of Nevada and the Director of the Nexus Core, but it meant nothing if he couldn't be yours too.

(Phobos decided to do all of his work from his room for the next few days after this. His men didn't need to see him disheveled over this, especially not Christoff. He didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how badly his act of stealing you had affected him. But even then, he did noticeably little, often just obsessively rereading his journals to find anything that could've been a clue as to why you decided to choose someone else.)

#tw: yandere #jeb @ phobos during this entire ordeal: (emotionally) injured? good.#plague anon [|87 #also can i just say that i love your emoticon lol #ask #i ❤️anons

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kageyuji · 4 years ago

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ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ

also known as “they find someone flirting with you”

-> warnings; jealousy

-> includes; tsukishima, bokuto, iwaizumi, tanaka, kyotani, and suna

a/n; thinkin bout. whenever terushima flirted w kiyoko <//3 also uhh iwa feels slightly ooc but we ignore that

𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗔 —

tsukishima had been wondering where you’d wandered off to

you were supposed to be going to use the restroom, but you’d been gone for an awfully long time

with a huff of slight annoyance, he followed down the hall of where he had last seen you walking

in front of you stood some guy he didn’t recognize, and with the way you were looking tsukki didn’t think you knew him either

he’s lowkey so frustrated about it but on the outside he’s like 😐 BAJSCNCNF

“excuse me,” tsukishima said, voice low and slightly hostile as always, “did you get lost or something, y/n?”

he seemed to ignore the guy altogether at first, then offered him a look of disgust

DEADASS LOOKS AT HIM LIKE 🤨

the guy clears his throat, waiting for tsukishima to notice that you were talking to someone (much time your dismay, but it’s not as though the guy saw that)

he still doesn’t say anything lmao, he just talks to you like the guy isn’t even there

the guy is like 😟 BAISJDJCNC

eventually he gets the hint and leaves, tsukki is snickering once he finally does so

“took him long enough”

𝗕𝗢𝗞𝗨𝗧𝗢 —

he was having so much fun!! school was making it hard for you to have free time to come to his games, so he was loving the fact that you were there

as soon as the game was over — he and his team won, of course — he ran over to you to give you a hug.

there was a crowd of people around, so he knew it would have been rather hard to find you through all of them, but when it was harder than expected he started to get worried

and then he sees you off in a corner with some guy standing next to you

at first his heart stops, a sick feeling sitting in the pit of his stomach, and then he sees the uncomfortable look on your face

the discouraged feeling still sat in his chest, but not as heavily

he walks over and starts asking who the guys, introducing himself as your boyfriend

he has a smile on his face, one eyebrow up in a way that looks playfully challenging

(it is in no way playful)

he’s got just a little murder behind his eyes 🙂

a laugh erupts from him at the look on the guys face - he’s a little mortified once he recognized where he knew Bokuto from

the guy starts stumbling over his words and rubbing nervously at the back of his neck; Bokuto is a sweet guy, but he can look scary if he really wants to, especially to someone he doesn’t know

the guy mutters an excuse and leaves quickly, leaving you and Bokuto by yourselves

“thanks,” You laugh, a little amused by what just happened

“don’t mention it, munchkin!” His voice was rather bubbly and his laugh was more sincere as compared to the last time

𝗜𝗪𝗔𝗜𝗭𝗨𝗠𝗜 —

oikawa flirts with you all the time in a joking manner just because he wants to piss off iwaizumi

but that doesn’t mean it ever actually works SHEUXHCN

so needless to say you were a little confused when your boyfriend was looking more than a little worked up over the guy talking to you

why the guy couldn’t see your boyfriend was right next to you, you didnt know why

how it really is: 🧍🧍‍♂️

what the guy saw: 🧍

iwa’s arms were crossed and his jaw was set, the way his eyebrows were pinned gave off the frustrated energy to everyone in the room

he was trying to be calm, of course

he grabbed your hand and started rubbing his thumb up and down the side of your hand

“Babe, don’t you think we should get going?” he asked

you gave the guy another awkward smile, waving for him to leave

“ah wait, can i get your number please?”

😐😐😐😐😐 i know he did not just- with iwa right there i’m-

“no.” iwa answers for you, quickly

he’s quiet for while after the guy leaves, he doesn’t bring it up, but you do notice that he doesn’t let go of your hand

𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗔𝗞𝗔 —

BSJSHFJFN HES GOING ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT

he knows how long is too long, it’s not that he was watching the clock

(he may have been checking his phone constantly, yes, but that was totally not to see the time, totally)

but he was aware that you’d been gone an awfully long time and a pit of worry started to grow in his stomach

he walked through the halls, trying to find where you went

he found you next to some guy, the guy who seemed to be rather flirtatious compared to the guarded expression you were wearing

“hey! asshole!” tanaka growled, stepping between you and the other guy, “they’re taken, so step off why dontcha?”

the guy is???? very confused and shocked at first???

but he doesn’t try to say anything back to that, tanaka’s already aggressive energy was enough to shut him up LMAOANHBCNFFN

“ok, uhm. i’m just gonna go haha,,,”

tanaka is like 😾😾

and then quickly shifts into being soft and asking if you’re okay

“yeah, i’m fine, thank you”

“of course, doll! if you ever need me, just call~” sigh, he thinks he’s superman, but just let him believe ok <///3

𝗞𝗬𝗢𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗜 —

he likes to stay close to you in public places; he doesn’t really know why, it just makes him feel more secure that way

so the second he saw you missing from his side, he was quick to go off looking for you

he found you with some other guy in front of you, and at first he was a little hurt, but then quickly realized what was happening

he walked over and sneered at the guy, who was half expecting Kyotani to start barking or something

“get yo fuckin dog bitch-“

“it don’t bite“

“yes it do-“

his fists are clenched so hard that his knuckles are turning white and the pissed-off expression he always wore was even more noticeable now

“back off,” he said simply, eyes staring holes into the other guy

you didn’t say anything, you just watched HAHWYSHDFN

the other guy raised his hands in defense, backing up and then quickly leaving you and kyotani alone

kyotani didn’t say anything, you didn’t expect him to, but he didn’t seem to complain as much whenever you grabbed his arm and held onto him for most of the day

𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗔 —

suna just. wow. wow wow wow. suna <3

alr uhm anyway

suna was just kind of letting you roam around while some of inarizaki’s fans were talking to him and the twins

but he leaves and just walks on over the second he sees the other guy flirting w you

deadass just slides on in with the same energy as the “good evening madame” vine

“who’s this 🥱”

he looks like he genuinely could not give a shit if this guy was royalty <///3

“oh, i’m-“

“mhm. i’m suna, i’m their boyfriend. 😐”

the guy could not even introduce himself before suna was acting like that <///3

he and the guy just. stare. they just stare at each other for a while. BAJSHXNC

eventually the guy is like “ALRIGHT WELL i’m gonna go, i have things to do 😅😅”

suna smirks, he doesnt say anything about it but he motions for you to follow him back to the twins

and he makes sure to keep an eye on you whenever you leave; he’s not doing it in an over controlling way, but in more of a “i want you to be alright” kind of way

he won’t admit it though

taglist in an rb; send an ask to be added

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purecantarella · 3 years ago

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All For You

i wanted to write a lisa imagine in honor of her AMAZING solo. kept me pumped up over the weekend HAHAAH i initially wanted to write a smut for her, but i couldn't do it for some reason this time round so yall are getting a short but sweet HHAHA

i'll try to write some more smutty fics but for now, fluff and angst for all of you! enjoy!

disclaimer/s : this is just fluff so i think yall are safe

It wasn't often that you were in a bad mood. After all, you were your group's happy pill and your fandom's ray of sunshine. You had a reputation and you liked sticking to that. But after a week of taking blow after blow from your company, you didn't feel like being the usual ray of sunshine you always were.

It hit harder when your mom got sick and you weren't permitted to see her because of time constraints with your comeback schedule.

You sat quietly in the leather seat of the recording studio, waiting for your turn in the booth. Mindlessly, your fingers tore away at one of the label's of your water bottle. Your members eyed you subtly, a wave of sadness flushing in each of them as you were so deflated.

After a while, you felt their gaze on you. You looked up at them, offering them a soft smile, but they knew better. How you felt could be masked with your small, tired, and forced smile. They knew the one person who could cheer you up, in fact she was in the building, but they knew that you would be livid if any of them told Lisa, your close friend, what was going on.

If you asked anyone, they'd say that you and Lisa were one of the cutest pairing in YG's company but at the same time both of you took your careers above one another. Despite that, there was always that pull that kept you both on each other's toes. You knew that you could rely on her and she could with you, but as she was in the thick of her promotion for her own solo so you never wanted to distract her like that.

Make no mistake though, you would love to have her by your side right now but you couldn't stop the feeling of guilt that began to creep inside you when you thought of disrupting her for your own selfish needs. Your other member walked out of the recording booth when your managers called you for lunch.

You brushed them off and with a half-hearted smile, "I'll just chill out here. Maybe practice the song..." You explained as you threw your cell onto the leather seat. The group's leader eyed you suspiciously. "I don't think I've seen you eat the past few days, N/n..."

The smile on your face tightened uncomfortably. "Just heavy midnight snacks, unnie! No need to worry, but you should all get something for lunch. I'll be here." You said rushing them out of the room despite all their questions and concerns.

When they didn't push further, you sighed a breath of relief and slid towards the mic in the booth. Sadly poking the base of the mic. You did your best to sing the parts you knew they needed for backing vocals but your heart just wasn't in it and you found yourself repeating the same lines over and over again. Leaving a frustrated pit in your stomach.

"As much as I love your voice there could be some variety in words." You tore the headset from your ears, letting it fall onto your neck at the familiar, teasing voice. From the back of the producing board stood a smiling, banged Thai woman who made your heart flutter in your chest, almost masking the disappointment that reigned there.

You stared briefly into her bright brown eyes, a brow quirked up on your face your gaze shooting to the floor. "You aren't supposed to be here, Lisa." You said making your way back to the main room, eyes not meeting hers. The dancer leaned up against the edge of the table, the same charming smile over her plump, pink lips. "Never stopped me before, N/n."

Her smile grew as she pushed herself off the table and made her way over to you. Your skin jumped as you felt her hand on your arm, like she always did when she missed you. You avoided eye contact, a heavy blush taking over your cheeks made Lisa smile even wider. "Y-You could've at least called, Lisa."

"I was going to but when I saw your members all leaving together without you, I thought I'd shoot my shot." She paused, her eyes staring into yours. "And I missed you."

Though you could feel yourself melting at the thought, but again you simply turned around not wanting her to see how broken you were. Lisa was always the first to tell, even as friends. Without sparing her a second look you said, "Your comeback is dropping soon, you shouldn't be here."

Lisa tilted her head to the side curiously, "Is that why you haven't looked at me the entire time, Y/n?" With her words, you stoped fiddling with the items in your bag. You bit the inner layer of your cheek, feeling her draw closer. You felt her hand over yours, the warmth from hers lighting a flame in your skin.

"I can tell your hiding something, you can tell me..." You stood there silent, still not daring to look at her. Her shoulders fell as she saw your defenses beginning to break slowly, your lower lip quivering ever so slightly. Despite her better judgement, Lisa took you hand in hers. "I will always make time for you, solo, comeback, or promotion, I'm here, okay?"

Wordlessly, you finally turned to face her completely, your head falling onto her shoulder. For a moment, you both stand there, magnets just gravitated towards one another. "I don't want to be a burden to you or anyone..." You whispered, voice breaking under all the pressure. Lisa wrapped her arms around your shoulders, wanting protecting you from everything that came your way as a sob cracked from your lips.

You began ranting about everything that had been going downhill lately. Your mom, the company, everything, while Lisa stood there, listening to your stories carefully. Once everything came to a stop, Lisa pulled away. Enough that she could see your swollen eyes and red nose to say, "It's all going to work out, alright?" She began wiping away the tears that stained your face. "In the morning, we're going to YG himself to talk about a break for you to take care of your mom, get all your healths back in tip-top shape, and we're going to get through this."

"'We're'?" You asked, a tiny smile taking over your lips. The most genuine that she'd seen all afternoon. Lisa brushed her lips over your nose delicately before placing her forehead over yours. "Like I'd let you stand up to YG-nim on your own, N/n." You giggled softly, leaning into Lisa's touch, eyes going soft.

"Thank you, Lili." Lisa's grin grew tenfold before pulling away. "I'll pick you up after work? We can watch a movie and order take-out. The L family's really starting to miss you." She asked shyly, a rosy blush coating her cheeks. You leaned up and pecked her cheek gently.

"See you at 6, Lalisa." She rolled her eyes as you giggled softly, your smile slowly returning. Lisa opened the door but took one more look at you, warmth and love running rampant in her stomach and chest.

She'd do everything and anything for you. Whether either of you knew it, it was always all for you.

i did thoroughly enjoy writing that, i hope you all enjoyed reading it! i'm working hard to get back on a steady schedule but also my classes are going to start on October 18th so i'm going to have to do A LOT of adjusting

anyway, remember that requests are open and criticism and comments are completely welcomed 💓stay safe, see you all soon, and i love you all very much

stream lalisa yall❣️

196 notes · View notes

aonesteddybear · 4 years ago

Text

According To Him

akaashi keji x female reader

warnings: cheating, soft angst, body worship oral sex (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex

word count: 5001

notes: this is for the nsfw hq server collab, which the prompt was " I wonder what he would do if he knew you were with me right now ” akaashi was one of two of the pieces i wrote for this collab so be sure to keep an eye out for terushima which will be posted later in the day. be sure to check out the masterlist here and see all the other great writings and artwork done!

thanks for the beta @daishou-s

Hot tears slipped down your cheeks in frustration as the door slammed. The apartment was eerily quiet. The only noise filling your ears was the occasional soft sniffle as you furiously rubbed at your eyes, willing yourself to stop crying despite the very real reason behind them.

The sheets puddled in your lap, and despite the soft chill covering your skin, you couldn’t bring yourself to cover yourself- your bed no longer brought you the comfort you sought. Yet again, your fiancé had left you to go practice volleyball with his team post-sex despite having agreed to dinner with you. He had kissed you, apologizing as he got ready despite your pleas, but Bokuto Koutaro really only had one love that claimed his heart, and it was always glaringly obvious it wasn’t you.

You could beg him all you wanted, but at the end of the day, he would choose his sport over you. It didn't always bother you. In fact, you had encouraged it for the longest time, even as he skipped out on dates or outings for practice. However, leaving you for the others had long since grown old, especially when you wanted nothing more than to curl up in his arms and be held.

He always would promise to make it up to you, showering you in gifts and lavish trips and soft words, but it didn’t change the fact he really only seemed to be at ease on the court and between your legs.

Still, there was one person you knew you could always turn to. As long as you have known Bokuto, Akaashi Keiji has known him longer. The former setter had always dealt with Bokuto’s tantrums and emotional mood swings, and he didn’t seem to mind when, even now, you turned to him for help.

You always assumed it was because Akaashi favored Bokuto, the two of the remaining close friends and meeting frequently even though they had graduated and had no actual ties holding them together. After seeing him around for so long, you had also warmed up to him, and now, you also sought him out for comfort, despite the soft whisper of it being inappropriate, which you often forced down.

Still, you found yourself reaching for your phone and clicking the familiar contact. After a few moments of it ringing, the phone clicked as the other side picked up.

“Hello?” Akaashi’s voice carried through the phone, and you sniffled pathetically again. “Y/N, are you okay?”

You nodded, forgetting he couldn’t see you. “Yeah.” God, even your voice sounded pathetic. “Can you come over?” You found yourself whispering before you considered the words.

Akaashi was silent for a moment, and you found yourself wondering if he would agree to the proposition before he spoke. “Sure.” The sound of keys jingling made you swallow, because of course your boyfriend's friend would come over to see you when your boyfriend wouldn’t even stay. “What’s wrong?”

You rubbed at your eyes again. “It’s Kou again. He is...infuriating, sometimes. We were supposed to have dinner, but someone texted him, and of course he agreed. We’ve been planning this for the last week.” You found yourself babbling, the words spilling before you could stop it even as silent tears rolled down your face in humiliation.

“Okay, okay. It’s okay, Y/N. I promise. I’ll be there in a few okay? I’ll tell you when I get there.” His words were soothing, and you mumbled an agreement. As he hung up, you forced yourself to wipe your tears once more.

You looked down at your chest and the splattering of hickeys Bokuto had left on them, and you touched them lightly before your hand fell. You could feel the soreness between your legs, left over from his energetic thrusts, and you didn’t want to think of the mess he had left there either.

Still, Akaashi was on his way, so you forced yourself to stand, moving from the bed and grabbing an old, oversized shirt and a pair of panties from the drawer as you made your way to the bathroom. As you cleaned yourself up, taking care of the new bruises and fluids left from your actions earlier, you didn’t fight the tears or the pit in your stomach.

You tried washing your face, patting cold water on your eyes to remove the puffiness that was there, but eventually, you ignored it, simply wiping it on the shirt. Akaashi had seen you worse than this.

As if on cue, a knock on your apartment door had you jumping. You walked out, dragging your feet as you went before you opened it without looking. Akaashi stood outside the door, his fist raised if he was about to knock again before you had opened it.

Upon seeing you, his features softened, and he stepped into your space, pulling you into a hug as you sniffled into his shirt. His hand was gentle on the back of your head, petting your hair lightly as he soothed you, the door shutting behind him. “It’s okay. I promise. It’ll be ok.”

You clung to his words, replaying them in your head in hopes that he was right, because at this point you were ready to leave. You were so sick and tired of Bokuto’s antics and not appreciating you.

As if Akaashi could sense your train of thought, he pressed a soft kiss to your head. “He loves you, a lot.” At this point, you weren’t sure who he was trying to convince, because Bokuto clearly wasn’t here showing it. “I’m sorry he’s doing this to you.”

You hum in response, enjoying the contact with Akaashi, but even you realized how wrong it was for you to be seeking comfort in your fiance’s best friend's arms. Which is exactly why you pulled back, and Akaashi reluctantly let you.

“Do you want a drink?” you questioned, and Akaashi smiled so softly, his eyes just as sad as yours were.

“I know where everything is. Go sit down.” He coaxed gently, and you nodded.

You could hear him as he rustled through your kitchen, finding your cups and the water you kept chilled in the fridge. When he brought it out to you, you were already sitting on the couch, a blanket drawn up over you as he handed you a cup, which you took, swirling it gently in your hands as Akaashi sat next to you, his body angled towards you as he watched you.

“Drink.” His words were a soft command. You obeyed, lifting the glass to your lips as you sipped it lightly. “Now, tell me, what happened.”

Your words spilled out then, rushing out your mouth as quickly as your tears did as you told him exactly what happened earlier. How he had come home late, barely talked to you before he was ushering you to bed. Then, he had just left after, despite your anger and the fact you had plans together. “It’s like he doesn’t even care about me, Keiji. He just wants me for sex.”

Your final words tumbled out as you finished breaking down, soft sobs shaking your shoulders as you sobbed. Akaashi hummed, taking your cup from you as it threatened to spill as he sat both of your cups down on the coffee table.

He once again pulled you into him, letting you rest your head on his chest as you cried, and he resumed his head-petting, just as you liked. “It’s okay.” he promised, his words comforting even as he buried his own face into your hair.

He knew he should feel guilty about it, how he was holding you so selfishly and breathing your scent, which would fuel his late night thoughts despite your genuine heartache. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to push you away, and not let you clutch him so desperately and use him either.

“I’m sorry he’s doing this. He should realize how blessed he is to have you.” Akaashi’s words were whispered into your hair, but you couldn’t help the soft noise of confusion as you pulled back to stare up at him.

“What do you mean?” You questioned attempting to pull away from his chest, unsure if you liked where this conversation was going, but his grip was tight and prevented you from pulling away from him.

“I mean, he is being selfish. It’s what he does. You’re amazing, and he should worship you like you deserve.” His words were gentle as his thumb ran over your cheek, wiping off the tear tracks there, and he looked so very sad as you flinched away from it.

“Keiji, I don’t know-” You started, and he shushed you gently, his finger brushing against your lips.

“It’s true. I would treat you better. I should have never given into him.” His words were soft, musing, as if he didn’t mean to speak them, and before you could question further he was leaning forward, his face suddenly too close. “Can I?”

You swallowed. “Can you do what, Keiji?” you questioned, and he smiled softly.

“Can I show you how I would treat you if you were mine?” His words were gentle, filling you with a lull of soft security, and before you knew what you were doing, you found yourself nodding even as he was leaning even further forward.

His lips pressed against yours, fitting securely against your lips as you sucked in a sharp breath. He was gentle- much more than Bokuto ever was- his lips moving against yours, and after a moment, you found yourself responding to them in turn.

Hands touching your neck made you jump even as he pressed further into you, holding you securely to his body so you couldn’t escape from him. As your lips parted to object, his tongue brushed against them before sliding into your mouth.

The whimper you let out was eagerly swallowed as he licked into your mouth, pushing his tongue against yours and enticing you to play with him, which you found yourself reluctantly doing. Your tongues molded against one another, slid against one another, before he was pulling away, gasping in breaths of air even as you leaned forward, chasing after him.

His forehead pressed against yours, his fingers tightening on your neck, feeling the drumming of your pulse against his hand. “Please,” his whisper was low, deep, and needy, and you found yourself leaning forward into it.

“Please what, Keiji?” you questioned, and he let out a soft whine in response, a noise that made your thighs clench together and all reason fly out of your head.

“Please….” he hesitated, pondering his next words, as if he didn’t know exactly what he was about to ask. “Please let me touch you. Touch you properly.”

You swallowed again, and for a moment, your eyes met his, and the thought of what you were about to do crossed your mind, but rather than focus on it, you pushed it from your thoughts. You couldn’t mull over it, not yet. “Okay.”

The word was all the permission he needed, a sharp whimper escaping his lips as he pushed back into you. His other hand attached to your hip, sliding first up over your shirt before he was dipping down, and pushing at the shirt.

As his skin connected with yours, you let out a sharp hiss, which he eagerly caught, his tongue pressing against your lips yet again as you opened for him. As his hands traced up your body, his hands connecting with your breast, he tensed, as if he realized what he was doing also.

He pulled back ever so gently, his eyes searching yours as his lips parted, but any words he was about to say disappeared in his throat just as quickly as you licked your lips. His lips connected with yours once more, desperate, as his hand opted to grope at your breast, squeezing the tender flesh before he pulled back to pinch at the nipple lightly.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous.” His words were whispered into your mouth as you gasped into him, back arching up into his touch as he pulled at the bud. “He’s so stupid.”

You let out a soft noise at that in objection, but he didn’t give you the chance to speak as he nipped at your lips eagerly instead. After a moment, his head dipped from you, his hands moving down to push at your shirt until he was able to wiggle it up past your breasts.

The sharp exhale was audible to you as he stared at your chest for a moment before his head dipped to kiss at the valley between them. He pulled back just far enough to shift where his head was before he latched on to your nipple, sucking it gently into his mouth as his tongue pushed over it in excitement.

His pace was gentle, soothing, and relaxed as he sucks at tender flesh. His teeth grazed the bud just for a moment before he soothed it with his tongue. “You’re so perfect.” The words were whispered into your flesh as he nuzzled at it, his other hand palming softly at your other breast as his eyes flicked up to your face.

As your eyes met, his name fell from your lips in a soft sigh, a mournful sound, and he smiled gently. His lips released your nipple, moving to the other side to suck on it as your hands came to grip his hair.

He hummed in response as you tugged lightly in the soft curls of his hair that were beginning to form from the length. His lips wrapped around the new bud, sucking it into his mouth as you whimpered his name out again.

“Keiji, please.” The words were whispered, but his ears caught it anyways, so very attentive on your body’s response to his actions. His mouth released from your chest as he turned to look up at you, and there was no mistaking the dark glint in his eye from anything other than lust for you.

He pressed another kiss to your skin. “What is it, darling?” his words were gentle, covering you in comfort as his hands rubbed tenderly into your skin. Yet as your lips fell open, no words came out. You didn’t know what to ask him for.

The idea of what you were doing was finally beginning to set in, a warm bubbly feeling masking the terror of being caught later on. Yet at the end, it wasn’t you who spoke.

“Can I take you to bed?” His words were sweet, much nicer than the given implications of what would occur if you said yes. He was taking charge of the situation and guiding you to comfort like he always did.

Your hands moved on their own to cup his face, pulling him up into yours as you lent forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, your foreheads pressing together gently as you held him to your body. The hum he let out filled you with warmth, your toes curling in an excitement you hadn’t felt in a while as he pressed a gentle kiss to your nose.

“Yes,” the word fell from your lips without much thought. The idea of telling him no, pushing him away from you, left you with even more anxiety than holding him did.

“Come, little one.” His instructions had you moving even before he pulled away, clutching to his body as he helped you to your feet and ushered you in front of him towards the bedroom. As you crossed the threshold of the room, you swallowed, feet pausing as you gazed at your bed, which was still tousled from earlier.

Sensing your hesitation, Akaashi’s arms wrapped around you from behind, his hand coming up to force you to stare up into his eyes. “If you don’t want to, we can stop.” He assured, pressing his face gently against yours once more, and you couldn’t help the whimper that fell from your lips as you pressed further into his.

“No. I want to.”

You knew he was giving you an out, promising to stop at any point should you want it, but it didn’t change the fact of how desperately you craved wanting to be wanted. So you angeled your head up, kissing first his jawline and moving to the corner of his lips.

“Please, Keiji,” you whispered, and this time you both knew exactly what you were asking for, and who was Akaashi to deny either of you?

His hands moved, shifting to spin you around to face him further as his hands came up to tangle roughly in your hair, and his other hand slotted against your hips as he carefully walked you backwards until your knees hit the bed.

Before you could collapse onto it, his hands were moving to push at your shirt once more, removing his lips from yours just long enough to tug your shirt over your arms and head before he was throwing it to the floor and pressing back further into you relishing how your body felt flush against him.

He could feel your nipples pressed against his body, even through the skin as you whimpered in frustration. Your hands reached out, tugging at his shirt, and he laughed lightly against your lips as he pulled back. His hands fumbled with his shirt for a moment, undoing the buttons by his head, before he was tugging his own shirt off and discarding it.

As his body pressed against yours, with only bottoms separating the two of you, he let out a sharp sigh into your lips. Your hands smoothed over his skin, running over muscles and skin you had never experienced before.

Yet, just as quickly as he started the kiss, he pulled away. His hands nudged your hips further back on the bed as his head dipped down to kiss at your neck. You hummed in response, fingers lazily running over his back as you rolled your hips up into him.

“Easy,” he breathed out into your skin, moving to kiss at your collarbone, and then back down your chest. “I want to take my time, show you properly how much you mean to me. Is that okay?”

You nodded, licking at your lips as you watched him move further down your body, stopping only to kiss at spots randomly, just to hear and feel the responses you gave to him. When he reached the band of your panties, he hesitated, pressing a kiss right against the line. His eyes flicked up at you as his fingers ran over the band carefully.

“Are you sure?” His words were gentle, but clouded with desire. You let out an annoyed whimper, tired of his hesitation.

“Keiji, please.” You found yourself repeating even as he frowned, pulling back slightly, and you lifted your hips to chase after it as his hands pushed down, effectively holding you in place.

“I want to hear you say it.”

You let out a whine, licking at your lips as you reached out for him. “Yes, I’m sure. I want you, Keiji.”

Akaashi hums then, a delighted glint showing in his eyes as he mulls over your words in his head. “You sound so beautiful when you say that.”

His hands tugged at the band of your underwear, pulling it down your legs, and you feel your legs closing at his intense scrutiny, suddenly shy.

“Shhh,” he soothed, his thumb running over your mons. “You’re so fucking perfect.” He promised, and you let out a soft whimper in response to his words.

His hands nudged your legs open as he pushes his way in between them. His eyes were level with your cunt, and you couldn’t help the warm flush that spread up your body as you covered your face with your hands shyly, and his fingers gently pushed open your lips to stare at your core.

“Perfect.” he repeated, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the top of your slit before you could object. Just as quickly, his tongue slid out, licking up your slit as you let out a sharp gasp of his name.

Before you could try and wiggle away, his hands connected with your hips, grabbing them tightly as he held you still, his eyes connecting with yours as he pressed his face into your core. His tongue slid out to lick sloppily at your hole as you feel him push into you.

“Keiji!” His name was slurred, your mind hazy at the stimulation he was giving you. He was so different from how Kotarou usually ate you out. Akaashi was much more neat, his tongue pushing in and out of you repeatedly even as you squirmed underneath his grip, desperate for more.

Yet, as your eyes flicked down to look at him, his attention was focused solely on you. Blue eyes knocked your breath away as they locked with yours, and you couldn’t help the whine that slid out as you attempted to arch your hips up into his mouth.

“Please.”

Akaashi hummed in response, a satisfied noise that had you blushing from the vibrations as his tongue pulled away from your hole, licking up your slit slowly yet again until it flicked over your clit.

The grin that spread across his face was shameless as you jumped, hands flying down to fist in his hair at oversensitivity as you let out a squeal of his name. He repeated the action, enjoying how you flinched and cried at the pleasure as he continued to repeat the assault on the sensitive bundle of nerves smugly.

“It’s too much.” You whispered, but ever-attentive, he caught it. He let out a hum in response even as you whined at the vibrations, but rather than back off, his lips wrapped around the bud as he sucked harshly on it.

Your back arched up off the bed as your fingers tightened in his hair. “Fuck, Keiji!” you cried out, hips jerking under his hands as they pushed you down. Even as your eyes squeezed shut, you could feel his eyes on you, watching your face closely as he memorized your movements, ingraining them into his mind, and he held your hips flush to his face even as you squirmed against his grip.

As the ball in your stomach exploded. His name was all that fell from your lips in a chant as you came around him. His fingers worked you steadily through your orgasm, your body trembling around him as you crashed down. As his movements caught up with your body, you let out a cry, pushing at his head desperately as you attempted to push him away.

“‘s too much!” You repeated, words slurred and heavy in your mouth as your body jerked with overstimulation.

The man finally gave in, pulling away to kiss his way up your body as you grabbed at his face, kissing him eagerly as you pushed at his remaining clothes.

“Please?” The word was asked against his lips, barely audible as you gasped into his mouth. He nodded in response, his lips never leaving yours as his hands fumbled with his boxers, pushing them down his legs.

As you reached down, wrapping a fist blindly around his cock, his hips canted forward, a sharp groan escaping his lips against yours as you curiously stroked it. He was heavy in your hand, solid and warm. You could feel the precum leaking down from his tip, wetting your hand as you ran a thumb curiously over it.

As you tried to pull away, his hands caught you, holding you against him even as you let a soft squeak in protest, wanting to taste him in your mouth as well. “It’s fine,” he breathed out against your lips as if he could hear your thoughts.

“This is about you.”

His hands nudged you back, pinching at your skin playfully as you wiggled backwards further up the bed. He stopped you, pushing you flat back onto the bed so he could loom over you.

He pulled back, panting heavily against your lips as his eyes scanned your face once more, and you couldn’t help but acknowledge just how pretty he was, the light illuminating his head behind a shadow of black hair.

You reached up for him, trying to pull him back down against you, but he gently knocked your hand away as he looked down at you, eyes soft.

“I don’t have a condom.” He sounded apologetic, unsure of his words, as he examined you and your reaction to his statement.

You hummed in response, gently rubbing a thumb against his cheekbone as he turned his head into the pressure.

“It’s okay,” you promised softly. Koutarou never wore a condom with you, prefering to fill you up, which you didn’t mind, but it helped that you were on birth control already. You also trusted Akaashi, and if he said he was safe, you had no reason to doubt him.

“I can pull out?” he offered, voice raising at the end of his words in question as he proposed the solution, and you nodded softly.

“That’s fine with me.” You approved, and this time it was him who hummed in approval as he shifted upwards close towards your hip. As he pulled back to rub a thumb over his own head, and you felt your mouth dry at just how pretty his cock was.

He didn’t give you long to look, gently gripping your hip with one hand as he held his cock with the other. He ran the tip of it along your folds, smiling softly as you jumped at the sensation of it bumping into your clit.

As soon as he deemed it slick enough with your own juices, he angled his hips to push it lightly against your opening. He teased you just for a moment, gently pressing against the hole without pushing into it until you whined out his name. It was a pitiful sound that had him pushing his hips forward and entering you with a soft exhale.

You felt your body tense up around him at the new sensation. He was a bit smaller than Bokuto, not stretching your walls to the same level, but it still left your toes curling at the new sensation of Akaashi inside of you.

Your sharp whimper filled his ears, your hips arching up into him as he bottomed out within you. You reached up, grabbing at his shoulders as you pulled him into you. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling his face into yours as you kissed at him.

“Fuck,” You breathed. “Can you move please?”

He hummed in response, nipping at your lip softly. “Yes, of course.”

His hips rolled into you gently, testing your response, and you let out a whine in pleasure as you tugged at his hair. He was slow, testing out your responses as you squirmed underneath him.

His name fell from your lips as you angeled your hips slightly higher, urging him to speed up.

“Shhh,” he hushed gently, kissing you as his hands moved to push your hips down. “You have to be patient.”

You frowned, grabbing at his back as you whimpered in frustration. “I don’t want to be patient, Keiji.”

He pressed a finger against your lips, leaning forward to kiss you as he pulled his finger away. You let another huff as he shifted, grabbing your hips and jerking them upwards so he could move his hips easier into you.

As he thrusted into you at this new angle, you let out a sharp yelp. Your hands scrambled at his arms as he hit the spongy spot inside your walls. A soft sob escaped your lips as he repeatedly began to hit your g-spot.

“Please, please, please.” You chanted out, back arching up into him in time with his thrusts. “Just like that.”

He smirked, leaning forward to cup your face in his hands. “You’re so gorgeous,” he purred, leaning down to kiss you tenderly.

Your tongue ran along his lips, eagerly pushing into his mouth as he opened for you. As your tongues pressed together, Akaashi’s hand slid in between your bodies to rub at your clit. As his fingers connected with your body, you jerked away from him at the sensation.

He let out an amused noise as he held you steady, pushing his fingers against you as he rubbed at your clit in time with his thrusts, and you jerked in pleasure.

As your body spasmed around his cock, he tensed as you milked him perfectly. “You’re so perfect, darling- you deserve to be worshipped,”

His other palm spread across your body, rubbing at your breasts softly as he pinched at your nipple lightly watching as you flinched, squirming under his attention.

“You should be treated like the goddess you are, and if he won’t do it, I will.” He promised, his thumb increasing in speed on your clit as your muscles spasmed. “I wonder what Bokutou would do if he knew you were with me right now.” he crooned out softly as he watched you cum around him.

As you grabbed at him, you buried your head into his shoulder, and your cunt spasmed around him.

“Keiji!” You cried out, clutching at his body desperately.

As his hips pulled back out of you, his hand left you to dip between you two yet again, except this time it was for his own pleasure. His own pleasure crested over him as he stroked himself to completion, painting your stomach white.

However, as he relaxed into you, the sound of the door creaking open made you both jerk away from one another, and you were left staring into the inscrutable eyes of your fiancé, who took over the scene in front of him with a strange amount of calmness.

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask me?”

#akaashi #akaashi keiji #keiji akaashi #akaashi keji x reader #akaashi x you #akaashi x y/n #akaashi x reader #Female reader #reader insert #hq #hq reader insert #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #hq server collab #spicy #bella writes #fukurodani

845 notes · View notes

theodora3022 · 4 years ago

Text

Selfish Deeds (Yandere! Gojou Satoru)

Summary: Satoru just wants you to be free of danger. If you are so knowledgeable why can’t you understand that he only wish the best for you?

A/N: This is just one snippet of many out of a collection(haven't decide the name just yet)...Since I have not read the manga(anime-only for now) so I just got a vague impression of what Gojou has been through, but that does not stop me from writing him like the cocky bastard he is. Hopefully it is not too OOC(as if yandere variant itself is not OOC enough pfttt) The reader is a stubborn psycho because that is what I am :) Will there be some future pieces that involves nsfw elements? I got a few ideas but no promises.

I blame @popi-the-fatui for my Gojou brainrots. You got your revenge on me by making me attracted to this dubious man. Word count: 1.6k

Banner credit

Warnings: Female pronouns, Possessive behaviour, DELUSIONAL behaviour, non-consensual touching, power inbalance, general yandere content, slight mention of confinement and violence(This is not a healthy relationship dynamic!!!), reader is not a soft UWU girl, kthis is so self indulgent *buries myself into the bottomless pit of shame

It has been nearly fifteen minutes since the headquarter disconnected the call, yet you are still staring at your phone screen with disbelief.

You were supposed to travel to another city for a mission tomorrow, they had notified you of this mission a week ago.

You already got your luggage packed, and your theoretical research on the objective is thoroughly done. Then they dare to inform you: they have found a more suitable candidate! Right on the day before your departure too.

Your curse techniques have already limited you to more of a supporting role for most situations. There are not plenty of missions available for you to begin with. While you are content with educating the fresh blood of the community in classrooms the majority of the time, you still long for field actions every once in a while. It is an essential part of being a Jujutsu sorcerer after all.

Both you and the soft-spoken secretary who made the call know this is nonsense. The higher-ups recognize that you are one of, if not the best sorcerers available when it comes to reconnaissance and espionage.

Letting out a sigh of immeasurable frustration, you swore to yourself that you will find out who is the conductor of this humiliating turn of events. This is going to be difficult since you do not recall having any issues with any of the administration staff recently.

There is no reversing this misfortune, but at least you can be aware of who is responsible for such violation of conduct.

He is only doing this to protect you.

Gojou Satoru tells himself as such, at least.

He is aware of how unfair it is, to make someone less capable to take on the job. But he cannot risk your safety. The man has already got used to your company, and he is not willing to just let you disappear from his field of view for more than a week. Sure, you might have not admitted how much you like him yet, but it is just too endearing to see you flustered at his flirtatious words.

Although there have been some difficulties with rescheduling, he managed to use his connections to exclude you from that first-grade mission at last minute. On the bright side, the sorcerer cannot wait to lend you an ear to vent about how conservative and unfair the higher-ups can be. Maybe you will even say yes to a trip to the newest local bakery! You need some sweet treats to cheer yourself up, don’t you?

But Satoru has never thought about how you specialize in putting two and two together. (understandable since he never saw you in action before).

------------------

Strange, you are not near the usual area in the library.

Sensing his footsteps, you opened your office door before Satoru had a chance to knock.

“We need to talk, Gojou-san.” That expression is new. This is the first time he sees you genuinely angry, which is to be expected.

But somehow he got a bad feeling about this.

You did not even invite him to sit down, instead just standing next to the floor window, arm crossed, with your back turned to him.

“Why would you do such a thing?” You have to use up all of your self-control to prevent yourself from having a full blow-up right at Gojou Satoru. Maintain composure. But it is easier said then done.

Does he think this is funny? To sabotage someone else's sorcerer career like this? You knew you should have kept him out of your daily life, as he is nothing but trouble to you. But you made the mistake of choosing to tolerate him, and some superficial part of you might even enjoy his dallying words a bit too much.

To the extent, you overlooked some red flags. This is a grievous error indeed.

Shit, now that he vaguely remembers what role you play on missions.“(y/n)-chan, what are you saying-” He knows you always act in supporting positions, however, he has overlooked your actual abilities and curse techniques. You collect intel and spy on enemies, how could he forget that? “Don’t play dumb with me. You got your ways, I got mine. There is no use denying what you have done. I thought you out of all people would understand what it means to be a sorcerer.”

This is a violation of protocol, changing mission assignments at the last minute. However, you know this man would not be receiving any solid punishment should you decide to report this. They would say there is “no harm done” and you would just receive a pitiful apology. Suppose you cannot blame them though.

They need Gojou Satoru, the Jujutsu community needs his prowess to keep innocent people safe. He will remain in the system no matter what.

Why are you questioning his motives? Does he have to spell it out for you? Letter by letter?

“You are not a skilled combatant, (y/n)-chan. What if you got yourself hurt?” Or even worse, killed. It scares him to think that you could be gone one day, how he would walk by this office corridor and never sees you sitting behind the desk ever again.

Not much in this world could send Gojou Satoru a chill down his spine, yet the thought of you dying is now on the list. He knows how petty this is, you wouldn’t be the one doing the actual exorcising after all. But the if, the slight possibilty.

He cannot allow that to happen, not ever. Even that means angering you and getting yelled at.

“What am I, some normal lawful citizen? I am a sorcerer just like you, Gojou-san. Putting ourselves on the line for innocents is part of the deal.” You let out a few short, sarcastic giggles, narrowing your eyes at him with fury. “It’s funny that you, out of all people, fail to understand that. If I am needed I will do what I must. If this is some sort of sick joke, stop it already, not funny. ”

Blunt, unrelenting stubbornness. Not like that’s news for him, Satoru has lots of experience with that since the day your path crossed. Although he finds this quality to be adorable most of the time, it can pose major problems like the present.

Oh, he is not angry at you. Satoru is more outraged at himself, don’t you worry. On the contrary, he is rather intrigued by your sarcastic remarks! However…

Instead of walking towards where you stood near the window, the man decides to take a turn towards the door.

That flashing panic within your eyes did not escape his sight.

The illusion figure you were projecting near the window dissipated instantly once he got your left wrist in his hand. Concealing yourself and projecting illusions, a rare techique indeed.

“Clever tactic. Making yourself invisible, projecting a faux illusion to distract me, leaving the door open and staying close to the exit. Your curse techniques are impressive. I almost got fooled, job well-done (y/n)-chan.”

The grip on your wrist suddenly tightens, you have to bite your lip to hold back a hiss of pain. How can he still flash that casual, playful smile when committing such atrocity? Those damned cerulean blue eyes too, you are ashamed of how you tremble and (internally) swoon at it at the same time.

Efforts to get away would most likely be futile, but you have to try. “See, you underestimated your opponent. I do see why you are good with lurking in the shadows now. Do you have any idea what I am capable of though?” Such delicate hands, it would be a shame if they were to bruise.

It’s unnerving how easy it looks for him to maintain a solid grip on your wrist while you pull back with all of your might. You know Gojou Satoru is strong and all, but this simple demonstration of strength is devastatingly effective. “Let go of me, you bastard!”

To your surprise, he softens his grip and you finally distanced yourself from him, panting and guarded. “Who are you to decide what I should and what I should not do? I made it crystal clear on the first day that I do not like you for the slightest.”

You know the walls are thin and coworkers might heard you, but you will have to worry about it later. It is, sadly, a matter of fact that you are somehow attracted to him, but that does not give him the right to use it against you. You must not give in to the temptation.

“You are pretty slow on the uptake for someone so smart. I was thinking of doing this naturally, we can go on normal dates to coffee shops, amusement parks, or even the museum if that is what you wish for. But now I see you do not know how much you mean to me.” Do you think Gojou-san is only flirting with you for the fun of it? It might have been the case in the beginning, but that is not the case since...recently.

He did not stop you again when you turned away, giving him one last menacing look and disappeared from his sight, even if he could see the faint trace of your curse energy. You will return to him and apologize after you calm down, he is confident about that. You value your job way too much to quit.

Then he could finally pull you into his arms, saying he does not mind and forgive your childish tantrums. Satoru does not plan to lock you up in a cage or anything(yet)! The students adore you and they need your guidance. Your clan is insignificant compared to his, your influence? Does he even need to consider that?

Gojou Satoru would always achieve his goals by whatever means possible. You are no exception to this.

#yandere fanfiction #yandere jjk #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere gojo #yandere gojou satoru #yandere x you #yandere gojou satoru x you #*screams into the sea of Quanta #I was a clown when I said I won't simp for him #tw: dark content #tw: yandere

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slowpoke-fics · 3 years ago

Text

Poison

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Pairing: Stefan x Reader

Request Summary: The reader has anger issues and is on verge of becoming an alcoholic as she feels helpless. Stefan helps her through to quit alcoholism and fight her fears and control her anger.

Warnings: alcoholism, self deprecation, Stefan being hungry, ooc Stefan and matt? idk I know I've missed some, as always read at your own risk

A/N: Yoooooo, welcome me back to the land of the matrix folks because I have crawled out of my pit of despair to bring you 1000 or so words that will hopefully give you a small rush of serotonin!

My friend, @yipee101, has been so patient and kind, they may have forgotten about this but I did not!! I hope you enjoy love.

Thank you pals for being patient with me.

Blessed be to all of you and sweet love to come your way <3

You slipped your sixth shot of whiskey down your throat, pouring another as you listened to Elena and Damon put their vamp skills to good use again. It just reminded you of what you couldn't be, and you had to admit it made you a little sick to be the only one who couldn’t defend herself. The only one so vulnerable, so mortal. Nobody would let you turn, everyone just wanted to keep you 'pure.' Your blood boiled just thinking about it. You decided you weren’t gonna just stand there and listen to them fuck, so you took your shot and slammed the glass down so hard it shattered. You headed for the door, not waiting around in the Salvatore house for Stefan when all you could hear was thudding and graphic moans.

As you stumbled to the door you went through your purse to find your car keys. Grabbing the handle and pulling the door open you were met with Stefans confused face. You walked right by him, “You know, if you were gonna be late we could’ve met at the Grill.” Stefan beat you to the car, taking the keys from you and putting you in the passenger seat. You pulled out your flask and began drinking, “Sorry I was late love, don’t you think you could slow down?” your blood boiled.

“Listen sweetheart, I know that you think you know what’s best, but the drinking isn’t a problem.” Stefan shakes his head as you take yet another swig, “Why do you keep drinking so much anyway?” You smiled big, clearly not wanting to talk about it, "After listening to Elena and Damon fuck for an hour, I think it's okay," raising the flask as if you’d raise your glass, spinning around to lay your head on his leg, you down a good mouthful of liquor, “So babe, how come you were late anyway?” Stefan sighed, “I got caught up hunting was a little hungrier than normal.” You gently reached your hand up and rubbed Stefan’s arm reassuringly, “It's okay to be hungry, I know it’s hard.”

You arrived at the grill, quickly pulling the bottle from your backseat and refilling your now empty flask. Stefan met you at your side of the car, allowing you to slide your arm perfectly with his for support. "It's lovely, ya know?" You mumbled as Stefan opened the door for you, "What is Y/N/N?" Sliding into the booth, "To be so drunk all the time that I don't have all the flies buzzing 'round me. All the little worries just whoosh, and everything is just so fun." Matty comes up to you and Stefan, taking your order and allowing you to order a rum and coke and a random meal.

After about ten minutes, Matty brings you another drink, you slammed it back, chugging and pounding the glass on the table a little too hard. Matty saluted you, bringing you another. You went back to back for a good half hour. Matty started to sit down another for you, but Stefan interjected, “I think she’s had enough tonight Matt.” Matt nodded, looking at your disheveled figure, head lying on the tables arms crossed under your head, ready to pass out. “‘M ready to go home,” you mumbled as you laid back in your booth, happily relaxing into the overly inviting cushions. Stefan lightly laughed, trying to cover the true concern he had for you.

Even though you guys had been dating nearly a year, this is how it always was. At first, he didn’t notice it, but the closer you two got the more you allowed him to see. You had finally explained to him that it was ‘your normal,’ that it had been since the night at the haunted house and Stefan almost died trying to save you from a vampire. Stefan looks at you for a minute, recalling the words he would never forget you said, “Nobody gave a shit back then so don’t start caring now.” Stefan picked you up out of the booth, carrying you to your car and softly closing the door. As he got back into the car, he noticed you trying to finish off your flask. He had decided in that moment, enough was enough. He took your flask from you, eliciting a heavy groan from you that didn’t last long because of your truly fucked state. The last thing you remember is laying your head on his leg as your normal position, his fingers running softly through your hair.

When you woke up the next morning you instantly ran to the bathroom, unlucky to be one of the times you had a hangover. You pounded on the floor next to your toilet, trying to alert Stefan. He was instantly next to you, handing you a cup, no doubt his special morning blend with enough of his blood to make all of this go away. He gently pulled your hair up and wrapped it in a bun, watching as you drank the contents of the cup, knowing it would be over soon. In truth, it was. After you finished chugging the cup you leaned back onto Stefan. “Good morning,” you laughed, “I hate for us to start it this way,” Stefan mumbled as he kissed your forehead, sliding his arms under yours and pulling you to your feet. You spun around to face him, “What the fuck?” you near shouted. “Why do you have to nit pick so fucking early?”

"It's not nit picking, Y/N" He tried to speak non-confrontational, "I am genuinely worried about you. This isn't healthy-you're not invincible to this." You scoffed, pushing past him and downstairs to your kitchen, Stefan following suit as you spoke, "You mean I'm human, right? Defenseless and vulnerable?" You shook your head, interrupting him as he tried to speak, "No-don't even, this wouldn't be a problem if I was a vampire. If I wasn't so fucking needy, always pitifully needing protecting, can't even decide how much liquor to drink." You slammed the coffee pot back in it's place, impatiently waiting for it to finish. "I don't think you're pitiful or needy. I think that you're drinking too much and putting your life in needless danger and you won't tell me why."

You flailed your arms, spinning around to pour yourself a cup of coffee, grabbing a bottle of liquor and starting to pour some in, but Stefan's hand is on the bottle. You slammed the bottle down turning to Stefan, shoving him back with every scream, "You stupid fucking," shove, "I told you," shove, "it makes me feel better!" shove. You sighed, "I'm sorry," running your hands on your face, sighing again, "Just, get the fuck out Stefan." You turned back to your cup, pouring the liquor, only to be stopped by Stefan, "No." Your blood boiled, "Get the fuck out!!" Stefan took the bottle from you, setting it back on the counter, "Not if when I leave you're just going to drink that."

You instantly threw your coffee cup, watching it shatter into pieces before grabbing the bottle and turning it up. You chugged and chugged until Stefan pulled it away from you, "You gonna fucking leave now?" Stefan stepped closer to you, hating the way the alcohol burned his nose, like a poison coming off of you, "Baby, I'm not going anywhere." You screamed, out of frustration or shame you weren't sure which, it was a blood curdling scream, slamming your hand down, hitting the liquor bottle cross the floor enjoying the way it shattered. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"You! This!" Stefan sighed, "You won't talk to me, you brush me off and act like this isn't something I should care about but it's been like this as long as I can remember, I'm worried, I can't protect-" You slammed your hands down on the counter over and over, kicking the cabinets and laughing, "Jesus Christ Stefan, I don't need your protection!" Stefan grabbed your hands, turning you to him as gently as he could, your strength diminished from the bottle of alcohol you chugged, "I want to protect you, I want to, I know you don't need it, I want to," his voice to a whisper at the end of his plea, "I want to," his hand moved from your wrist to your face, "I love you, I want you to be around as long as possible, I need to protect you, you don't need me to, I do."

You sighed, your forehead resting on his, "I love you too," you pulled your wrists back, "I'm sorry." Starting to pull away from him to clean the mess up, he was gone and back before you noticed the mess was gone. "Talk to me," Stefan said as you walked past him, sitting on the couch. "I hate myself," you sighed, "I'm so weak and puny, I feel like I'm always in the way," you shrugged, "I get so angry all the time, maybe not even at other people, really at myself," leaning against Stefan as he put his arm around you, "Drinking helps, really?" he asked hoping to hear an honest response. "If I'm honest? No, I just feel like it's better than feeling like this all the time."

Stefan slid his arm under your legs, his free arm moving your arm around his neck before moving around your waist and standing up. "What?" You looked up at him, he smiled, "I have something that might help." In the next moment, you guys were out of your house and watching everything rush by until you hit forest. Suddenly Stefan stopped running, setting you down gently, smiling, "I was gonna show you to this on our anniversary, it's not finished yet, but I don't see why we can't go ahead and visit."

You started to ask what he meant until you saw it-near dead ahead was a large clearing, but it had been worked on, there was a stack of rocks with one slab of rock covered in the softest moss you'd ever touched, "So you can read and do homework comfortably," Stefan said, pointing up to the makeshift roof of vines that you now notice wrap around the trees, making a circle around the clearing, you loudly gasp, taken by the beauty and effort he's already put into this for you, for your relationship.

You continue to look around as he points to an obvious training area, he smiles, "I know that you've been struggling, but I didn't realize how much," he moved closer to you, his front now pressed against your back, arms encircling your waist, chin resting on your shoulder, whispering in your ear, "I'm gonna have Bonnie protect it, it's gonna be just us here, me n you gonna relax, you're gonna read over there, train over there, we can put a table for picnicking over there-" he points to an area that is close to the moss bed, "and lots of flowers and colors, to always brighten our day, gonna put a vine door-" you turned around and kissed him.

Your hands were on the side of his face, hair intertwining with his hair, he lifted you up, your legs circling his waist, you feel him smile. You pulled back, "I love it, thank you, this is going to be great," you kissed him again, "you know, it is our space, I could help you put stuff together, whatever you wanted to add." Stefan nodded, kissing your forehead, "I think when you wanna drink we should come here." You kissed under his ear, trailing down his neck, "two conditions," Stefan hummed, moving his head to the side he allowed you more access as he pressed you against one of the many trees that circled the clearing.

"Well, we'll come here when I wanna drink, if we'll come here when you get hungry," Stefan let out a small groan as you bit his neck gently, loving how he pulled your hair. "And the second?" He asked as your hands traced down his torso, grabbing the hem of his shirt, "you fuck me, now." He smiled, kissing you hard, and the next thing you know, you're sitting on the edge of the moss bed. "Easy," he pulls off your shirt, admiring your body for a moment, "it's a deal."

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musclesandhammering · 3 years ago

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I'm not fond of the pairing but from what I've seen General public actually loves Sylki very much. Even the trade reviews called the relationship "genius" which,,,ok. Someone did a poll on various platforms, yt, reddit, fb, twitter etc comparing which ship is better (Lokius or Sylki) and it was Sylki who won by large margin in the end. I suppose mostly they just don't care because it's sci fi and a pairing in a totally unrealistic show, and after Wandavision I guess weird ships are 'in' but yeah it makes you think. But the writers already said they won't give in to the fan pressure bc they have their own story to tell (which ok, valid, you do you) but idk. I guess we will get even more Sylki in second season. Tom already said Loki won't stop searching for her

Sometimes I think casual fans are the most irritating thing about being in a fandom :/

Just as a disclaimer (bc I don’t want people coming for me): I think lokius is really cute, and I love fics/art/headcanons about them, but I never thought they were canonically romantically interested in each other. I never thought lokius was gonna be canon, and I never wanted it to (because I didn’t want ANY romance in the series), so I don’t even include it in my argument against s*lki.

Ok so….. listen. This is gonna be a long ass post, so I’m putting it under a cut. Sorry, anon, but you’re the one that opened the Worm Can.

The viewing public, in general, tends to heavily skew towards heterosexual-presenting ships. Partially because a portion of the general audiences are homophobic, and partially because a lot of non-tumblr fans are so sick of hearing tumblr stans go on and on and on about how they were queerbaited by certain gay ships not becoming canon, when in reality, said ships are trash.

Listen. I sympathise with that. I get that. I know I’m beating a hornet’s nest with this, but…. D*stiel? J*hnlock? St*cky? None of those were written in any way to invoke queer undertones, they were always supposed to be platonic, and tbfh even as platonic relationships the first two are literally toxic and abusive as hell, anyway.

So I definitely understand how a casual straight fan on Twitter or Instagram would see some of those same crazy “we were queerbaited” tumblr stans ranting about lokius not becoming canon and how much s*lki sucks and……. it makes sense that they’d be like “These people are just pissed that their gay ship isn’t canon, that’s why they hate s*lki.”

But here’s the thing. I don’t think those people realise how callous it is to say something like that when the only reason queer kids are so quick to ship any two male characters who express a modicum of affection for one another, is that they’re so fucking starved for representation in the first place, they’re willing to see queer romance in any same-sex interaction. They’re just that desperate. That’s where the whole crazy gay stan thing comes from. And yeah, it’s annoying that these people put their whole chest into defending gay ships that are total trash, but you have to realise why they do it.

So, what I’m saying is, for s*lki shippers- who are already winning, because their straight ship had the privilege of easily becoming canon despite all its flaws- to look at queer people who are frustrated to the point of tears that they were once again conned out of any form of queer rep (for the mcu’s first canon queer character, for gods sake) after actually genuinely being queerbaited this time (with his bisexuality/genderfluidity)….. and to essentially gloat that their straight ship became canon and taunt queer people by saying “oh you’re just desperate for two men to kiss”………… idk, man. It just seems real cold to me. Reeks of straight privilege and heteronormativity.

Ok, so with that being said.. let me respond to your actual ask lol.

I’m not surprised at all that s*lki won the popularity polls. I think a large reason for that is the fact that it was pitted against lokius, which sorta rubs a lot of casual viewers the wrong way for reasons listed above. I’m also not surprised that casual viewers liked it outside of its opposition to lokius- because, um, casual viewers aren’t very smart.

They tend to analyse exactly nothing, they don’t look any deeper than the surface, and if the writers of a show stick a hot man and woman together under a blanket, they eat it up. Because the narrative tells them it’s sweet. Just like the narrative tells them Loki is a greasy asshole who had no character development up until this point, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that sylvie’s the best thing since sliced bread, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them it’s completely in character for Loki to try to subjugate a group of 3 random Mongolians in the middle of the dessert for absolutely no reason other than his “narcissism”, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that one throwaway line about liking “a bit of both” is somehow this groundbreaking example of lgbt representation, and they eat that up too……… See the pattern here?

And as far as being concerned about the pseudo-incest angle, I don’t even think casual fans even dug that deep. They literally just saw two main characters- a pretty white woman and a hot white man- doing cool fight scenes together and giving each other goo goo eyes, and they were automatically sold.

And the writers saying “we won’t give in to fan pressure, we have our own story to tell” is honestly complete bullshit. What the hell is the POINT of working for a corporate film company and telling a story on screen if not to please the fans??? They do what they do to get people to watch their shows to get lots of money. That’s literally what they’re there for. Mike Waldron must have a pretty damn inflated sense of self importance if he thinks his own “artistic vision” or what the hell ever is the priority here lmao.

And I wanna be mad about Season 2, I really do. But at this point Season 1 ruined the character so much for me that I legitimately don’t even care what direction they take him in.

#this is probably all over the place and semi-incomprehensible but oh well #sometimes ya just gotta rant #topic: queerbaiting in cinema #loki deserved better #antisylki #anti mike waldron #anti sylvie #@marvel I hate you #anti casual fans #frosty bby #queerbaiting #anti loki series #loki series critical #loki series negativity #ask #anon #language tw

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hawksky · 3 years ago

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You wake up on your ex's fire escape; wc 2.5k

A/N: I don't really know how to categorize this ? starts as funny, gets into angst with a happy/hopeful ending. I might write this again for another character and make it 0 angst but using Megumi just let this get away from me. Thank you @sixeyesgojo for reading through my first draft, it helped me edit a lot since 😘. Although I have not looked over the ending since I wrote it, I'm done working on this fic so sorry if it falls flat.

CW: Mentions of excessive alcohol consumption.

Suggested listening: song 1 and song 2 you can pick just one to cater your experience (they are VERY different vibes) or switch over around the shampoo situation.

Objectively, there were good ways to wake up. In the arms of a beautiful person, with cold sheets and a warm body, or with the scent of your favourite breakfast wafting through the air. No disrespect to mornings at all, there were good ways to wake up, you were mature enough to recognize this.

A perplexingly rough, wet, and warm sensation gliding across your cheek, while last night’s jeans dug into your waist, and there was a pounding in your head? It was fairly safe to say this was not a good way to wake up.

It spoke volumes for how out of it you were that it was only just beginning to register in your brain that you weren’t at home, you were not even on a bed, and that the continued licks across your face were the work of animal far too large to be one of your friends cats.

“Fucking hell you’re supposed to be intimidating” you hear a voice grumble without much heat behind it.

As you forced your eyes open you are met with an excited dog tapping its paws in excitement of your presence, and the man behind the half hearted grumble. His gaze was unmistakably familiar, but his expression could not be more foreign to you.

“uhm, Hi” you croaked out while plastering a wide grin in hopes he wouldn’t murder you.

His eyebrow raised on instinct in response. You knew he was waiting for you to explain what you were doing, but the reality was you didn’t have an answer.

“I wish I could explain, but honestly I’m not sure what happened – last thing I remember was being bought another shot… Wait, where am I exactly?” You were desperately hoping you came off as charming instead of pathetic given the circumstances.

“How out of it are you?” he scrunched his face in confusion as he muttered to himself. “You’re on my fire escape, it’s in Ikebukuro? Tokyo… Japan, in case you needed the reminder”

It felt infantilizing to have him scold you like this, which only made this next part all the more difficult. You were not supposed to be Ikebukuro. You were not supposed to be in Tokyo. You were supposed to be in Yokohama. What was even more concerning is that you were definitely not supposed to be on your old fire escape, the one connected to the apartment your ex still lived in.

As you painstakingly pushed yourself upright, a warm weight laid on your upper thigh, a furry face nuzzling into your stomach – you wondered if she was aware of tension between you and her owner. You scratched behind her ears, letting Jade know she was in fact a good girl despite the earlier reprimand from her owner.

As much as you’d love to spend the day sitting on a fire escape petting your ex’s dog, you had to go home, you just need to call –

Your phone. Where was your phone? You felt around frantically for your phone, only to come up with nothing. A light sense of panic bubbles in the pit of your stomach, only to be swiftly interrupted.

“it’s already charging, I plugged it in last night, you dropped in inches away from falling down”

So, he was still watching you despite having returned inside long ago. It was difficult for you to parse this sort of gesture, how caring could it be to plug someone’s phone in when you still left them to sleep outside? Maybe he was just doing everything he could to get rid of you. It was too much to try and analyze for someone who blacked out and woke up in a different city.

“Why did you come here?” you hear him bite out from inside. It sounds harsh, but it feels like his stange way of inviting you inside.

“I don’t know what you’ve picked up from these circumstances, but not knowing is kind of a part of the problem. Believe me, there’s no amount of conscious desperation that would leaf me to sleeping on a fire escape, even yours”

You glanced around the apartment to avoid his void expression; it was spotless. But it was even harder noticing, the turned over picture frames, your favourite quilt still on the back of the couch – remnants of the past living in the present.

This tension only increased as a mug of freshly brewed green tea was placed in front of you. How thoughtful to remember you hated coffee, to realize your throat was probably killing you – you would have tasted a creeping bitterness from all these emotions, if it wasn’t overpowered by what was the distinct taste of your favourite brand that had to be special ordered.

He had always complained, there were plenty of good options for tea at the grocery store, why wasn’t that enough for you? It was so much extra effort to special order from a tea shop across town, the only place that you were able to charm the owner into ordering for you.

“How are you still so fucking awful at taking care of yourself?” he spat the words out like an insult, it was jarring honestly. Despite the time away from each other, it was no less strange to feel his detachment.

He moved towards the door beckoning Jade to follow. “There’s a towel and change of clothes in the bathroom, you should probably take a shower. If I’m not back by the time you leave, just lock up before you go, I haven’t moved the spare key.” Without looking back or waiting for a response he left.

You were starting to recognize your growing frustration – you had known him how long? Dated and lived together for a not-insignificant amount of time? Yet here you were, no idea how to interpret this strange morning, much less his last comment. Did he want you to be here when he returned? Were you supposed to leave and act like you had never been there? Could he genuinely be as indifferent as he wanted you to believe? It pissed you that your feelings were probably plain on your face.

You searched for your phone, finding it on what used to be your side of the couch. It felt ridiculous to think you ever had a side of the couch, but you were both creatures of habit and slowly without even thinking you both made your own little sanctuary mere metres away from each other.

You awoke your phone, expecting a flood of texts and phone calls from your friends, only to find nothing. Not a single check in from anyone. You open the group chat and furiously tap out a message.

Your phone vibrates rapidly as you place it down but you’re not in the mood to field their questions.

You’re tempted to leave now, just to get it over with, go home and crawl into bed and forget any of this ever happened. But, you felt gross, it was late enough in the morning that you could run into someone you knew, and you missed the water pressure here.

As you got ready for your shower you surveyed your options. You refused to smell like him, but the only other bottle in the shower was doggy shampoo. Surely dog’s fur and human hair weren’t so different right? Jade did have a beautiful coat, very soft and shiny… You reprimanded yourself for the ridiculous idea, but the point remained, there had to be something else for you to use.

Your brain, far more alert than it was 30 minutes ago, thought of all the things he hadn’t changed, all the fixtures still in place. You had always kept an extra set of all your supplies under the sink. By the grace of all that is good on this cruel cruel earth, they were there, in all their dusty glory, your prized hygiene products sat unmoved under the sink. It would have been sick and twisted to have to leave your ex-boyfriend’s apartment smelling exactly like him, left to spend the rest of the day agonizing over whether you should take another shower.

As you entered the shower you wondered more. He had to have noticed the softness in your eyes, the faint smile you wore just having an ounce of his attention again, the way ti widened at every caring gesture, and falling with every biting remark.

Yes, it hurt every day missing him. Yes, it would hurt if he hated you. But none of that compared to the feeling of not knowing. What were you supposed to do with all these residual feelings that have yet to go away? Were they worth the suffocation or should you strip them away?

You were proud of yourself, all these reminders of what you once had, in a place you once loved, and you had yet to break down, not even shedding a tear. If you weren’t wrapping yourself in a towel, you would’ve given yourself a pat on the back. This victory was short lived, everyone’s strength has its limits and you had taken yours too far past it already. But then you saw it, something you were completely unprepared for.

Laid neatly on top the closed laundry basket was THE outfit. It was nothing special to anyone else, just a grey sweater and loose joggers, but how many days had you spent alone breathing in his scent for comfort while he was gone? How many hard days at work had you reaching for these exact pieces as if they were the cure to all your problems?

Unable to support your own weight anymore, you fell to the tiled floor, tears spilling out, as your already sore throat grew even more hoarse – you felt like everything was collapsing around you. You weren’t expecting to see him, and you certainly weren’t expecting to need him in so many little ways. It was easy to forget how easily he weaves himself into your life, encroaching on everything you do.

The world disappeared behind each shallow breath, and an endless stream of tears you couldn’t control. Your fingers scratch against your forearms repeatedly, trying to ground yourself in some reality you could no longer grasp. It is so exhausting trying to be over him, going through these cycles of strong emotions, over and over and over again.

Suddenly, for the second time in as few hours, you felt an overwhelming weight encompass your body.

Of course, his stupid fucking perfect dog would still know how to bring you out of a panic attack like he had spent so much time training when you started dating. You clutched to Jade as your breathing slowed, but it did nothing to stop your sobs, if anything it was just another painful reminder of everything you let go.

“Uhhh….” Megumi was frozen at the door, for the first time today he didn’t know what to do. His indifferent façade dropped as he observed the scene on his bathroom floor.

There’s nothing left to lose, not for a moment that he has seen this morning have you possessed more than an ounce of dignity, “So that’s it? You don’t know what to do either? You know it’s been a whole fucking year and I still haven’t figured out how to live without you. A whole year and I’m still a mess. I can’t survive being reminded of us, look at me. And yet every attempt to get over you was a knife twisting because they’ll never be you. Now I’m here and I get to witness the wonderful Megumi Fushiguro, unaffected, and you… you have it all together.” You trail off, giving to him everything left in you.

You weren’t expecting the confused and indignant expression on his face, “You think this is having it together?” His voice lightly raising with each word “This place might as well be a sealed shrine to you and our relationship. I haven’t thrown a single thing out, moved any furniture, bought anything new – the only thing that’s ‘new’ is your stupid tea I keep buying even though I hate it, and for fucks sake y/n I should’ve moved out. Every part of me that looks like I have it together is just my version of a mess.” He brushes a stray strand out of your face, his own face moving far too close for this to be purely platonic anymore “y/n I’m no better off than you are, I’ve just kept everyone from looking”.

“So what are we supposed to do with all this?” Your eyes shining, naïve hope seeping through your defenses at the confirmation that he couldn’t live without you either.

“We could try again” Somehow, it wasn’t quite what you needed to hear. “I, am going to get dressed, and then we’ll talk, I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” He nodded lightly, pulling himself up and exiting with Jade on his heels.

Dressed in the clothes you thought would burn your skin to even touch let alone wear, you let out a long sigh as you sit on at the breakfast nook. “Look, Megumi, I need to know if you’ve worked through it, any of it? I can’t, I can’t wait another three years for you to tell me you can’t say the words I love you, that you can’t commit to more than a yearly rental, I can’t just have you here I need more security than that”

He pursed his lips, unsure of what he could say to that, how he could make sure you didn’t leave again.

“Megumi, I don’t need you to say it to me today, I don’t need you to commit to anything today, but I have to know you’ve tried that I can’t keep waiting for you”

“I… Just give me a minute, please” his voice weak pleading with you. You waited, knowing better than to rush him, laying a hand on top of his assuring him you weren’t going to run out the door.

“y/n, I’m supposed to be honest and vulnerable, I’m supposed to tell myself that people won’t abandon me just because I give them access to who I really am. I want to tell you I love you, because there’s no other explanation for feeling this way. For feeling like your eyes outshine the stars, that your mind is more brilliant than the sun. I’ve tortured myself for a year with the idea of you meeting someone who could give you everything I couldn’t, and selfishly I prayed they were awful, I wished you were miserable so I pretend the truth wasn’t real that I was not enough for you, that I couldn’t give you what you needed. I’ve never seen a loving relationship, certainly not for long enough to form memories, but I look at you and I can’t imagine anything else”

Your thumb reaches to brush away the stray tear sliding down his face as he spoke to you. Manoeuvring yourself around to be on the same side of the nook as him, you pull him into you, letting him bury his head into the crook of your neck. You placed a gentle kiss into his hair before whispered into his ear “You were always enough, I just needed you to know it too.”

not not a tag list: @satosuguslut @sandyscastle

#megumi fushiguro x reader #fushiguro megumi #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen angst #megumi fushiguro angst #megumi fushiguro fic #jujutsu kaisen fics #im so bad at tagging yall i never know what works or what people use sos #megumi fushiguro x y/n #i give up ok bye

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mybullshitsensesaretingling · 3 years ago

Text

Familiar

Request: Can you write a Chekov imagine where the reader is hurt on a mission and loses part of their memory and they can’t remember any of the crew and Chekov helps them through it? Something angsty with a little fluff please?

Checkov’s knee bounced restlessly under the consol. He leaned over it with hunched shoulders. His jaw was tight. Next to him Sulu stared unseeing at the stars being displayed on the view screen. He barely moved. Nobody spoke. The anxiety of the bridge crew was almost tangible, an unwelcome passenger they picked up on the last away mission.

“Jim,” Bones' voice came over the intercom, “the surgery was successful.”

A collective breath was released.

“They should be waking up soon.”

“Doctor, are they allowed visitors?” Chekov asked.

“Only one. I don’t want to overwhelm them.”

Chekov turned in his chair to look at the captain. “Permission to leave my post, sir?”

“Granted.” The word wasn’t even half way out of his mouth when Chekov sprinted to the lift.

The trip down to medical seemed too long and far too fast at the same time. Chekov was anxious to see you and reassure himself that you were really okay. Every moment between him and you was a moment too long. But didn’t have the time to prepare himself for what he would say or how he would feel when he saw you. You looked so small and fragile against the machines monitoring your vitals. He swallowed thickly, frozen at the end of your biobed. He wished he hadn’t run there. That he had taken a few extra seconds to adjust to the reality of you being injured, but he knew that no amount of time would have truly prepared him.

You were so still that he couldn’t help but wonder if the machines were wrong and your heart was no longer beating. But then you opened your eyes and he grinned, your name like a song on his lips.

You looked at him.

You blinked.

He waited for recognition to enter your eyes. It never did.

He looked back at the doctor. There he found recognition.

Bones crossed the room, fighting to remain calm and impartial. “Do you know who this is?” he asked, guestering at Chekov.

Your eyes flitted between the two men. “Should I?”

He didn’t answer, asking another question of his own instead, “Do you recognize me?”

You did the same, “What’s going on?”

He shared a look with Chekov before stepping closer to you. “There was an accident on the away mission. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I just got back to my quarters after my shift.” You looked around the room and finally Chekov saw recognition in your eyes, but not of what he had hoped for. “This isn’t the Valkyrie's sickbay.”

“No,” Bones tried not to let his sigh sound like one of defeat. “This is the Enterprise’s sickbay. You were transferred almost a year and a half ago.”

“A year and a half?” The beeping from the monitor sped up as you took in his words. “You’re telling me I can’t remember a year and a half of my life?”

“You just got out of an emergency surgery. You suffered a traumatic brain injury. We need to give your brain a little time to heal and catch up.”

“So my memories will come back?”

“I don’t want to promise anything, but given time and cognitive therapy many of your memories should come back,” the doctor explained almost reassuringly.

“I will do whatever I can to help!” Chekov said brightly.

You smiled at him but it didn’t reach your eyes.

You stood in the middle of the room, staring at the unfamiliar walls. You recognized the gold uniforms in your closet and a few items that you had been putting in your quarters since the academy, but the space was bigger than the room you remembered, the window was on the wrong side, and the desk and computer were newer.

“Anything?” Chekov asked.

You looked over your shoulder at him and his face dropped. He tried to hide his disappointment, but you saw it. You wondered, not for the first time, just how well you knew him. How many times had he tried and failed to hide his emotions from you? What was he succeeding to hide from you now that you had forgotten how to read him?

“That is okay. We just started.”

Nodding, you sat on the edge of the bed and picked up a rock from your night stand. It was the perfect shape to rub your thumb across. You could still remember the mission you had picked it up on. You could remember who was part of the away party, the commands that had been given, what kinds of samples had been taken. You could remember all of that but not a single memory of ever having been in this room before. A room that was so clearly yours.

It almost made it worse. If there was nothing tying you to this place maybe you could just start over, but being here, surrounded by your belongings in this unfamiliar space, you knew something had been stolen from you. How could you move on without knowing where you had been for almost two years or why this boy had stood by you every step of this excruciating process, looking at you like you hung the moon.

“Is there somewhere else we could try?”

Chekov’s expression brightened again at the tiny speck of hope in your voice. “Yes! Do you want to try now?”

You nodded and got to your feet. You kept the rock in your hand as you followed him out into the corridor and on to the lift, needing the extra bit of comfort.

The doors opened and again you were confronted with a space just slightly different than the one you remembered.

Chekov leaned forward so his head peeped out of the lift. “Permission to enter the bridge, Captain?”

The Captain looked back at the two of you, a small smile gracing his features. “Granted.”

You stepped into the room, still looking at the Captain. He looked familiar, but you couldn’t quite place why. You hoped that it was your memory starting to come back, but you had the sinking suspicion that it wasn’t.

“It’s good to see you up and about, Ensign,” he said genuinely. “How’s the memory tour going?”

“Unsuccessfully, sir,” you answered.

“Why don’t you try sitting station,” he offered. “Mr. Sulu.”

The pilot got up, offering his chair to you as well as a pitting smile you were growing sick of seeing.

You sat down and were relieved to finally recognize something. The controls and readouts felt like a light at the end of a long and confusing tunnel. Your hands moved automatically across the consol. The layout was slightly different than that of the Valkyrie, but it didn’t create a hesitation in your movements, until suddenly you stopped moving entirely. You stared at the stars for a moment before turning in your chair to look at the captain, who raised his eyebrows at you.

“Sorry, sir, but did we go to the planet of Gothos recently?”

“Last week.”

You nodded slowly, taking it in and allowing your fuzzy thoughts to start to take a more concrete shape. Your eyes moved up to Sulu.

“You,” you turned to the navigator beside you, “and you were in the landing party.”

They both nodded enthusiastically.

The entire bridge crew was watching you, pressuring you to continue, “Um. Uh. Chekov and I were here.” You gestured at the navigator’s and your own station. “And, erm,” you looked at Chekov, who smiled encouragingly, and sighed in defeat. “Sorry. That’s all I got.”

“No, no, that was good!” Chekov beamed at you.

You looked back at the control in hopes that something more crucial would come back. It didn’t. You stood up and faced the rest of the crew. Most of them looked at you with a tenderness and care you had seen reflected in the eyes of so many you had spoken to over the past several days. Tears welled up in your eyes as the frustration of not remembering feeling the same way towards them got to you.

“You should probably take over,” you told Sulu without really looking at him.

“You did great,” he reassured you.

You smiled weakly before going back to Chekov. He thanked the captain and led you back to the lift. He fidgeted with his hands like he was trying to keep them too occupied to do what he really wanted to do.

“Next we should go-”

“I,” you interrupted in a stuttering voice, barely keeping the tears at bay, “I think I’m done for today.”

His hands stopped fidgeting and reached for you before going to his pocket. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just,” you looked up in your continued fight to not cry, “it’s too much.”

“It’s okay. The doctor said it would take time. We will try again tomorrow. You did well today. You are strong. You will get through this.” He gave you another reassuring smile and you lost the fight.

“I don’t want to be strong.” You covered your face as the tears finally started to fall. “I don’t know who I am any more. I don’t- I don’t know you. I don’t know this ship. I don’t know anything.”

“You will. This is hard and it is scary but you have gotten through worse and you can get through this too. But it is okay to cry. You do not need to be strong right now. I will be strong for you.”

You opened your mouth to respond but all that came out were sobs. Your shoulders shook with the force of them. You desperately wanted to stop but the harder you tried the worse it got.

“Permission to hug?” he asked formally.

You nodded quickly and his arms wrapped tightly around you. Chekov rubbed small circles into your back and murmured soothing words. You leaned your head into his shoulder and sighed. The action was so familiar that it ached.

#didnt think i was gonna get a story posted this week #its been exhausting folks #but my kid got sent home sick so i didnt have to work #hate to be happy that shes sick but a bitch loves a 3 day weekend #chekov imagines #chekov x reader #chekov imagine #pavel chekov imagine #pavel chekov x reader #star trek imagines #star trek imagine

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buggaberry · 3 years ago

Note

For your Bad Things Happen Bingo Card, how about "Passing Out From Pain" with Ladynoir? I'm a sucker for Ladybug freaking out if something bad happens to Chat Noir ;)

pairing: ladynoir

word count: 3981

warnings: character injury

a/n: this is over a year late im so sorry but i hope you enjoy ;o;

Read on AO3

__________________________________________

The Parisian sky was dark and cloudy as rain poured down heavily, soaking Ladybug’s hair. She futilely tried to shield herself from the barrage of droplets with her hands.

The rain came on rather suddenly, there were sparse clouds earlier but it was otherwise clear. She’d been sitting on a rooftop waiting to begin patrol.

Chat Noir was late. Though it wasn’t uncommon for him to show up later than her, Ladybug couldn’t help her gnawing concern this time around.

These past few days there’s been something off about him. It took her a while to notice since she’d been worried about Adrien, who was recently discharged from the hospital after having been in an accident.

She could never quite place her finger on it because he’d always throw on that big cheeky grin of his before she could catch his prior expression. Chat fought the same as he always did for the most part, but she noticed that he got knocked over easier and he would breathe rather laboriously at the end of their battles.

Ladybug knew her partner wasn’t well, in what manner was beyond her. The thought had crossed that perhaps he was resting, which would ease her mind, but he would’ve called in by now to tell her. He could always be too fatigued to transform if he was exhausted, but Plagg would have shown up by now if that were the case.

She would remain stubbornly at their meeting spot until there was a sign or if she ended up caving into the weather. Even if it was just to kick him and send him home to rest.

Ladybug attempted to shake off some of the water that soaked her, pulling out her yo-yo and spinning it over her head to shield her from the rain. It was much better, her arm would get tired after a while, but she was determined to tough it out.

It turned out that toughing out wouldn’t have to last long, as she heard a splash and a thud from behind her. Her heart leapt up to her throat in anticipation, only to drop to the pit of her stomach when she turned around.

There Chat Noir was, a soft sheen covering him from the rain, soaked to the bone. Aside from his slightly hunched posture and dull eyes that wouldn’t brighten despite his soft smile, his skin looked pale. It was undeniably pale.

Ladybug let her yo-yo drop from its rapid twirling, placing it back on her hip before scurrying to stand up and approach him.

Chat’s smile strained, trying to give her a better one, though her look of concern didn’t waver for a moment.

“Chat…”

Chat Noir grimaced in return, his smile wasn’t getting him anywhere.

“Hey, Bug,” he tried, attempting to keep his demeanor as straight as he could.

“You look terrible, what are you doing out here?” Ladybug said with brows furrowed in both worry and frustration.

Chat opened and closed his mouth a few times before pursing his lips.

“And it’s pouring out here, you’re gonna make yourself sick! Are you nuts?!” she exclaimed, both her hands fists at her sides.

Chat’s ears drooped atop his head, he looked away in shame remaining silent. Ladybug’s features softened as she gazed at him, shoving her frustration down in an attempt to calm down. Her hand started to reach out to him only to pull away, guilt tugging at her heart for yelling at him.

“I’m sorry… I—… I shouldn’t have yelled,” she said quietly, looking down, “I’ve been worried about you.”

Chat’s eyes returned to her, his smile was much more genuine than the one he was giving her earlier, “It’s alright, I’m alright. I guess I kind of deserved that.”

Ladybug chewed on the inside of her cheek before picking her head back up. He was a lot closer to her face than before, he looked much worse. His eyes weren’t as wide open as they usually were, his lips were paler, each breath he took seemed almost tedious. There were slight tremors that ran through his body occasionally, which could have been because he was cold, but his winces that came after made her think otherwise. It made her chest clench.

“You should go rest, Kitty. You don’t look well,” she whispered while placing a hand on his cheek, caressing it with her thumb, brushing droplets away. There was a brief look of surprise that flickered in his eyes from the action.

Chat sighed, his face pressing into her palm, “If My Lady insists, I suppose I can leave patrol to you.”

“I mean it, Chat. I don’t wanna see you again until you’re feeling better. I need you, but I need you healthy, got it? If you’re sick or hurt, you need to be resting,” Ladybug said, pushing his soaking bangs away from his face.

Chat glanced away, his expression was unreadable but he nodded.

“Good,” Ladybug sighed and pulled her hand away, Chat pouted at the loss of her touch. She wasn’t completely satisfied with his answer though, hesitating before asking, “It’s nothing I need to be worried about, right?”

He let out a soft chuckle before smiling and brushing her dripping bangs away like she had done to him, “I’m not dying if that's what you were wondering. I promise.” He had said it with such sincerity Ladybug couldn’t help but stare at him with wide eyes. There wasn’t a joke about nine lives or a hint of nonchalance in his answer, he was being honest which filled her with relief.

“Do I look that bad?” He snorted, tilting his head to the side endearingly. Ladybug could feel her lip quivering a bit as she turned her head away. “Yes, you do.” she wanted to say.

She heard Chat breathe in a bit like he was about to say something, only for her to suddenly be tackled over to the ground. A loud bang followed, making her ears ring.

Chat painfully groaned from above her, making her snap her gaze up to check if he’d gotten hit. There wasn’t any visible damage, but she still gingerly held him as she got up.

“Can you get up?” she said with urgency, glancing around to make sure another hit wouldn’t come flying in. Chat Noir nodded, so she held him from his forearms to help him up. Ladybug brought his arm around her shoulders, holding him firmly at his waist as she pulled out her yo-yo to swing away, not catching his scrunched-up face.

Though the minute they were airborne, there was a bombardment of large spikes flying in their direction. The rain splashing in her face wasn’t helping her as she tried to maneuver away, she ended up skidding as she landed in the street.

An odd figure approached them from a distance, humanoid with tentacle-like limbs it walked with that sprouted from its back, pitch black and oozing goop. An Akuma that looked like it could have come straight out of some sort of horror movie.

Of course, there would be an Akuma in the midst of pouring rain and her partner basically out of commission. Ladybug was plotting the types of violence she’d resort to when she confronted Hawkmoth.

She spun her yo-yo over their heads to protect them from the rain, though it was kind of pointless since they were already utterly drenched.

The Akuma suddenly lurched forward towards them and in hindsight, maybe she should have spun the yo-yo in front of them to protect them from it. It was fast, too fast for her to move. Chat Noir pulled out his staff from beside her and extended it, quickly moving in front of her to block the incoming limb about to ram into them.

He tried to push it back, only for another one to coil around him and toss him to the side. “Chat!” Ladybug gasped and began to sprint over to him, only to get whipped in the opposite direction. She landed with a thud on her back, the wind knocking out of her lungs.

Just as she began to get up, another spike came flying in, going just over her head and impaling the wall next to her. She whipped around to look at it then back at the unnamed Akuma. The spikes were its limbs, they solidified when they disconnected from its back, growing back promptly after. How quaint.

It began to make a move towards her partner, who still hadn’t gotten back up. Ladybug saw red as she tore the spike out of the wall and chucked it as hard as she could at the Akuma.

She sprinted over to Chat Noir, relieved to see him blinking and breathing, albeit, weakly. She wasted no time tucking her hands behind his back and knees, lifting him up from the ground.

Ladybug whipped her head up to check on the Akuma, who was currently immobilized, tentacles stuck to the ground from the spike she had thrown. It was starting to regenerate, but it was enough time for her to get Chat somewhere safe.

She made haste, sprinting back home, up to her balcony. Her home was decently far away from where the Akuma was.

Chat was quiet the whole time, as she laid him down on her sling chair and pulled out a throw blanket to put over him. Ladybug would’ve put him in her room, but there was no way for her to justify putting him in a stranger’s house. It would have been better to hide him and protect him from the rain, but it was too risky. The drape above the chair was enough to shield him from the rain, thankfully.

“Is this alright?” Ladybug whispered as she tucked him in. He only nodded and gave her a brief smile.

She furrowed her brows at him before jolting back when she heard a distant crash. The Akuma must have gotten free. She had to go back.

Ladybug turned back towards him, reassuringly grabbing his wrist, “I’ll be back as soon as possible, okay?” she said, backing away and swinging in the direction of the noise.

The pit of her chest was filled with anxiety the entire time, her gut practically screaming to go back and stay with him. There was something wrong, she could see it in his eyes.

She took a little longer than she would’ve liked fighting the Akuma, her frustration growing as the battle went on and causing her to continuously slip up.

Ladybug didn’t think she’d ever smashed an akumatized object so hard in her entire life.

She managed to keep the Akuma far from her home the entire time, which didn’t make her any less urgent to get back to her balcony.

The Akuma turned out to be a director who’d gotten upset at the refusal of promoting their horror movie. Ladybug didn’t pay much attention to anything else, her partner was the only one on her mind.

She promptly ran away, out of sight after casting her miracle cure, detransforming in an alleyway to feed Tikki before transforming once again.

Ladybug returned to find Chat Noir sitting up, his legs dangling off the side of the chair, watching raindrops gather from the brim of the sheet above him and dripping down. His eyes had this sort of mesmerization in them that was akin to what a cat might have.

She let out a puff of air, he looked okay.

One of his cat ears twitched at the sound of her footsteps before he turned his attention towards her.

Ladybug smiled gently at him, "Hey, are you feeling any better?" she asked.

Chat Noir paused for a brief moment before nodding, "Yeah, I think I'm alright," he said, his voice rather quiet.

This was probably the moment she should send him off to go home, part of her felt like that would be wrong.

Before she could say anything to him, he started to get up.

"I should get going now," he said as he walked past her and towards the railing. He barely spared her a glance, he sounded a bit rushed and panicked.

Ladybug turned around to protest, but he just as quickly hunched over and stumbled with a hiss of pain.

She grabbed him by the shoulders to steady him, her prior panic filling her all over again. The moment she held him, he leaned into her, knees wobbling.

"Chat? Chat, what's going on?"

He didn't respond, he had a grimace painted over his features and he was panting.

Chat Noir went limp in her arms in mere moments.

"Chat!" Ladybug cried out, lowering him down to the ground to lay his head on her lap.

She quickly checked his pulse and breathing, both of which were perfectly stable. He had fainted.

What was she supposed to do? Was she supposed to take him to the hospital?

There was no fever or anything, so he wasn't ill, he was clearly in pain. Ladybug couldn't think of anything other than that he must have been injured somehow, badly at that. Which made her worry if he was bleeding at all under the suit.

She tried tapping on his cheek a few times to rouse him, but he wouldn't budge.

Her best bet was to wait for him to wake up to see if he could go home or if she needed to take him to the emergency room.

Even if he was mostly alright, she wasn't entirely sure if she trusted him enough to not pass out again on his way back.

The rain had at least eased up, she lifted him up bridal style and carefully laid him back on her chair.

Ladybug was conflicted, they were fairly exposed up on the balcony and both had gotten utterly soaked. She didn't want him to catch a cold on top of everything else.

She debated between walking into the bakery as Ladybug to ask her parents for help or jumping straight into her room to try and care for him.

There was also Alya, she could call Alya for help, she'd understand. Right?

She thought about detransforming and saying Ladybug asked Marinette to watch him, but then she'd feel like a jerk for ditching him as Ladybug.

She placed her head down on Chat's lap and groaned, "Why do you have to do this to me, kitty?" She huffed and took his hand, caressing it with her thumb.

She was just going to have to take him into her room as Ladybug, that seemed like the best option. Her parents would have been ideal, but they were definitely busy in the bakery at this time of day.

Ladybug crawled over to her trapdoor, pulling it open before standing up. She picked him up, adjusting her grip so his head was leaning on her and not bobbing about.

She carefully lowered him onto her bed, gingerly placing his head down first on her pillow. Taking another pillow, she tucked it beneath his legs. They were both dripping water onto her sheets, she'd have to wash them later.

After making sure he looked comfortable enough, she climbed down to grab some clean towels and a warm fluffy blanket that had been sprawled on her chaise.

She set the blanket to the side, unfolding a towel first to tap his face and neck dry before going at his hair. His hair was still damp, but at least it wasn't sopping wet anymore. She then dried off the rest of him, chucking the wet towel to the ground when she was done to pick it up later.

Ladybug dried herself just a bit with the second towel she’d picked up before tossing it along with the other. She picked up the fluffy blanket she had set to the side, tucking him in and pulling her comforter atop him as well.

Letting out a sigh, she let herself lay down beside him, staring at his calm expression. Her hand moved up to brush his bangs away, lingering beside one of his leathery cat ears. She gently scratched right behind it, usually that was enough to get him to purr. It was a little unsettling how he didn't even twitch.

She had to place her hand on his chest just to reassure herself that his heart was beating normally and his breathing was even.

Ladybug closed her eyes, keeping her palm to his chest. There wasn't much else she could do other than to stay by his side until he awoke.

The number of things possibly wrong with him kept flitting through her mind. She wondered how bad it was and if he had family at home worrying about him right now if he was supposed to be resting. In that moment, she couldn’t help but briefly be reminded of Adrien. The extent of his injuries was unknown, but it seemed pretty serious from what she’d heard. Adrien was in a car accident, her only knowledge of the situation was that it seemed intentional and was currently being investigated. If she thought about it, the timing of Chat’s unwell demeanor matched up pretty closely but… Adrien would never sneak out after sustaining such injuries, right? Chat Noir had been out and about for a while as well, she didn’t think it was anything severe.

She was being silly, it was just her concern speaking.

Chat Noir shifted a bit, causing Ladybug to immediately sit up and efficiently end her train of thought. A small noise emitted from his throat before his eyes fluttered open.

“Chat! You’re awake!” Ladybug gasped, throwing her arms around him but in no way hard enough to inflict pain.

Chat Noir looked dazed, shifting his head around to take in his surroundings.

“Are we in Marinette’s room?”

Ladybug felt her face pale, pulling away.

“Oh, right. I uh… I panicked and I asked this girl for help and she was kind enough to let us borrow her room,” she fibbed with a nervous laugh.

“... I see,” Chat replied, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, “Make sure to tell her I said thank you… and that I’m sorry for any trouble I caused.”

“Of course, I’ll bring her ‘thank you’ flowers or something, no worries. She didn’t mind helping out at all,” Ladybug waved off. She hesitated for a moment, pursing her lips, “We were both really worried about you, you know? I was scared half to death… You weren’t any trouble at all, I’m just glad you’re okay,” she said, smiling reassuringly and ruffling his hair before pausing and pulling her hand back.

“You are okay, right? Should I be taking you to the hospital now or—”

Chat Noir chuckled a little at her demeanor, finding it endearing, “No, it’s alright. I think I’ll just tell someone I passed out when I go home, then I’ll go if I need to,” he said.

Ladybug nodded along, furrowing her brows, “How are you gonna get back home? You passed out after barely taking a few steps on your way back.”

Chat Noir grimaced at that, “Right. Do you think I could give you an address close to my place where you can drop me off and then I can make the rest of the way back?” he said in a mostly joking manner. But to Ladybug, that didn’t sound like such a bad idea.

“Yeah, I can do that. Just type it in my yo-yo, we can get going right now,” she said as she opened up her yo-yo and handed it over to him, leaving his mouth gaping.

“Wait, really? You don’t have to, I don’t wanna trouble you, you’ve done more than enough. You probably have to go back home now, I can probably make it back on my own,” Chat insisted, sitting up a bit trying to hand the yo-yo back to her.

Ladybug pushed it back towards him and shook her head, “Nope. We’re going. I want you to get any help you need as soon as possible.”

Chat Noir pouted, reluctantly starting to type in an address, handing it back to her when he finished, “There.”

“See? That wasn’t so hard. Come on, up. I’m picking you up,” she said, already removing the blankets on top of him and tucking her hands under him.

Chat Noir didn’t have a second to complain, grumbling in her arms and she carried him out bridal style.

“Let me know if I’m hurting you,” she said, trying to be as careful as she could. Chat nodded back before tucking his face into her shoulder. Ladybug had to fight down a blush from his close proximity.

They were airborne in mere moments, Ladybug hurried as quickly as she could to the location he’d given her. She didn’t want to waste a moment if he was in need of any medical attention.

Once she reached the rooftop, she gingerly let him down, still holding him up from his arm.

“This is the spot, right?” she asked.

“Yeah… thank you,” he said quietly.

Ladybug couldn’t quite get over this quiet and reserved demeanor of his, it only made her more worried.

She chewed on the inside of her lip in thought before attempting to toss on a cheesy grin, “It was no purr-oblem, kitten.”

Chat Noir was quiet after that, Ladybug's grin was wavering but she tried to keep it up, throwing in a finger gun. The gesture alone probably took years off of her own life.

He eventually snorted softly, followed by a quiet melodious laugh. Ladybug’s heart briefly stuttered at the genuinity of it.

“Thank you…” he said once again after catching his breath, it was filled with much more sincerity.

Ladybug coughed, lightly punching his shoulder, “Yeah, right. Just don’t do anything stupid like that again.” Chat smiled, giving her head a little pat.

“I’ve been really worried about you and you… you just really matter to me, okay? So… get better soon. Please go home and try to rest,” she pleaded, voice wavering, Chat Noir froze in place.

He shifted to pull her to his chest, delicately hugging her.

“I will, I promise,” he whispered into her hair.

Ladybug breathed in shakily and nodded, “Good.”

She pulled away from his embrace, staring up into his eyes. She brought her hand up and cupped his cheek, leaning in and tenderly pecking the other, “Go. Come back to me healthy,” she said as she backed away.

Chat stared at her in awe, his pale complexion tinting pink.

“Ah,” he said after a beat or two of surprise.

He nodded, “Yes, of course.”

Once he seemed to regain his senses, he approached her, brushing her bangs to the side and pressing his lips gently to her forehead, “Till we meet again?”

Ladybug blinked a few times, holding her breath for a second to repress a noise of surprise. She cleared her throat, “Even if it takes weeks or months, take it easy until you’re better. I can handle things.” She placed her hands on his shoulders and spun him around, mostly to hide her red face, “Now shoo.”

Chat Noir chuckled, “As my lady wishes,” he said before steadily taking off.

Ladybug puffed a sigh of relief watching him go off. Though she realized she shouldn’t keep staring since his home was probably nearby. She quickly averted her gaze, spinning around and pulling out her yo-yo to head home.

When she landed in her bed and destransformed, she did so in a plop.

Marinette’s sheets were still damp from earlier, though she felt far too drained and fumbled with her feelings to do anything about it right now.

All she could do was think about him, he was all that was on her mind.

She idly wondered if the kwamis would let them exchange letters, Marinette had a feeling it would be a while before she could see him again. As long as he was bright again once more.

#Bad Things Happen Bingo #ml fanfic #miraculous fanfic #miraculous ladybug #Ladybug #Chat Noir #Ladynoir #hurt/comfort #angst #character injury #passing out from pain #buggy writes #feel free to send requests of the remaining prompts~#this was longer than i meant for it to be oops #again i am so sorry anon this was la te

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imagineredwood · 4 years ago

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Request: Reader hides her feelings for Angel but EZ knows, something happens where Angel finds someone else and introduces them to the club. Reader is heartbroken and distant to the point EZ has to explain why she is when Angel is upset at her for blowing him off

Pairing: Angel x reader, EZ x reader (platonic)

Warnings: Heartbreak, angst, emotional hurt, crying

Word count: 2.6K

**What do we want to see happen here? 👀***

“You should just tell him.”

You looked up from your lunch to look at EZ instead, the prospect still eating his food.

“Tell who what?”

“Tell Angel that you love him.”

EZ looked at you then, seeing as you opened and closed your mouth, trying to come up with an excuse or defense. EZ cut you off before you could though.

“Don’t even try to lie. I know you. I can look at you and tell what you’re thinking. You’re in love with Angel, and you should tell him.”

Shaking your head, you looked back down at your plate, messing around with your food.

“It’s not that simple, EZ. Angel is so…he’s got such a different life than me. I can’t see him ever loving me. Not in the same way that I love him at least.”

EZ wanted to keep encouraging you, but he could see that your love for his brother was complicated. You did not get giddy and doe eyed like most people did when they spoke of the one they loved. Instead, you seemed down. Unsure and frustrated. No doubt yearning for someone that was not yours could do that to a person. With a sigh, EZ reached across the table, stroking the back of your hand in comfort.

“Just…talk to him. Hint around, see where he’s at. I know it can be scary when there isn’t much being reciprocated. You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

You nodded quietly, taking his words to heart.

“I’ll try.”

At that, EZ smiled.

“Good. We’re having a big party this Friday. Come by. You can spend some time with him and see where things go.”

With a smile of your own, you nodded. You still had time to plan a nice outfit that would draw his attention.

“I’ll be there.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Friday rolled around before you knew it and you had gotten yourself dolled up. Nothing crazy or extravagant, but you had been more particular. Put it more effort, and it shows. You had even managed to find a dress in the deep, gorgeous green that Angel liked. The dress was as close of a match to his bike as you were going to get, and you hoped that he would notice the effort.

Shoes on and keys in hand, you left your house and got into your car, making thee drive out to the clubhouse. Your hands were shaking the entire time, tense on the steering wheel as you drove. You felt confident and beautiful, but that did not do too much to soothe the anxiety you felt in the pit of your tummy. What if he said no? What if he decided that you were better as friends? Or that you just weren’t what he wanted? The thoughts were almost enough to have you make a U-turn and head back home, but you were already so close, the lights from the clubhouse illuminating the yard. Swallowing, you pushed through and pulled into the yard, parking by the other cars.

You stayed seated in your seat for a few moments, taking deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. You were nervous yet excited. Sure, it could end with you getting shot down, but the idea that there was a possibility of Angel caring about you the same way that you cared about him was enough to tip the scale. You had been friends with him for a while now. You trusted each other, looked after each other. Checked each other when needed. Angel was absolutely your best friend. But you wanted more.

You imagined Angel loving you more. Loving you romantically. Loving you in the way that elderly coupled loved. The way that he coupled loved in your favorite books. You would always take whatever love Angel would give you, but it would be a lie to say that you did not want more. You wanted more of Angel. You wanted him to spend more time with you one on one, going on dates with you. Kissing you, being there with you when you really needed someone. To share a home with you. To think of those things made your heart skip a beat. You loved Angel more than anything, and all you wanted was for him to love you back.

Taking one last deep breath, you steadied yourself and hopped out of your car, smoothing down the front of your dress. Looking around you saw that EZ had been right. It was a bigger party than usual, more Mayans from other charters present and even more women. You felt better as you saw many of them in dresses as well, thankful you hadn’t gone too over the top. Locking your car, you started walking through the lot and going up to the clubhouse entrance. You looked over at the bikes and noticed that Angel’s was not there, but you didn’t think much of it. He had probably gone with someone else to pick some stuff up for the party.

You entered the clubhouse, the music much louder now that it was not muffled by the walls. Stepping in, you looked around, eyes scanning. You saw Coco off to the corner and he raised his arm, waving to you before motioning for you to come over. Just seeing the people that had become your family was enough to soothe your tummy a little bit more and you walked over to them, Taza wrapping his arm around your shoulders before kissing the side of your head.

“Glad you could make it, kiddo.”

You made your way around the table, greeting the members of this charter and some from others. You stopped to stand by Coco, the one you were closest to, after the Reyes brothers. He stood from his seat and gave it to you, waving his hand when you tried to argue.

“Sit, mama. I’m good.”

You fell into conversation with the men, some of the club girls coming up to say hi and hug you. EZ could barely get time away from grabbing new beers to sit with you but that was alright. You weren’t sure how much time had passed, genuinely enjoying the company. It was not until the door opened and you saw Angel enter that you remembered why you had been so nervous in the first place. You all looked as Angel started making his way over, shaking hands with members as he walked up. By the time he got to the table, your heart was already thudding in your chest. Of course, you weren’t going to tell him as soon as he got in. You would wait until much later. Once he was finally at the table though, he turned behind him and let a girl that was standing there come to now stand in front of him. They both smiled as they looked at the group, Angel’s voice excited and proud.

“Sup, guys. This is my date.”

The girl smiled somewhat shyly having all the eyes on her, but she waved nonetheless, everyone wearing wide grins as they greeted and welcomed her.

You on the other hand felt like you had been shot.

The blow to the chest practically knocked the wind out of you and your stomach felt like you were on a roller coaster. You tried to keep your face neutral but as you looked on, Angel standing behind her with his hands on her shoulders watching happily as the Mayans complimented his new girl, you felt like the world was crashing down around you. You could hear your blood pumping in your ears, and you stood from your seat, no one noticing as the attention was on the new addition. You slipped away quickly, heading to the bathroom praying it was empty.

It seemed that the universe had taken pity on you and thankfully the bathroom was empty. You had barely gotten the door closed and locked before the heavy tears started to stream down your cheeks. The music was loud, and you knew no one could hear you anyway, but that didn’t stop you from covering your mouth to muffle the sobs.

Never in your entire life had you felt both so broken and stupid at the same time. You did not expect Angel to be single forever. You knew at some point he was going to want to get a girl that he could settle down with. You just didn’t think it was going to be so soon, and you sure as hell didn’t expect him to bring her on the night were you had finally gathered the courage to tell him how you felt. It was as if the world was playing a sick joke on you.

With your back against the bathroom door, you tried to steady your breathing, bulky tears still rolling down your cheeks. Reaching for the toilet paper, you grabbed a wad and turned to the mirror, trying to wipe the tears before they made any bigger of a mess. Just then, a knock came from the other side of the door and you cleared your throat, trying to make it sound as if you weren’t in there having the breakdown of your life.

“I’ll be out in a minute.”

You expected it to be one of the girls or maybe another member. You were surprised to hear EZ’s voice on the other side.

“Open up, querida. Come one, let me in.”

You hesitated, not wanting him to see you like this, but opened the door against your better judgement anyway. As soon as his eyes landed on you, he tilted his head with a pout and came into the bathroom, closing the bathroom behind him and locking it again.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I…I didn’t know he was bringing someone. I never would’ve asked you to come if I knew he was doing that. I wouldn’t have done that to you.”

You shook your head and tried to force a smile, still dabbing at your eyes and cheeks.

“I know, EZ. I know. It’s not your fault. It’s not his either. I’m happy that he found someone, it’s just,”

You couldn’t complete the sentence before a fresh wave of tears was brought on, EZ snatching you into his arms. He held you tightly, one hand stroking your hair as he cooed at you.

“It’s ok, mama. It’ll be ok. You’ll find someone. You’ll get over him in time and find someone for you and then this will all just be a memory.”

You knew that he was trying to comfort you but hearing him say out loud that having Angel just wasn’t a possibility anymore only deepened the crack in your heart.

You cried on his for a few minutes more before pulling away, your hiccupping sobs gone. Turning to the mirror though, it was still painfully obvious that you had been crying. Eyes puffy and your top lip a little swollen from all the rubbing your nose. You turned toward EZ and the pain on your face and in your voice made his heart clench.

“I just wanna go home.”

EZ nodded and started to open the door for you.

“Head out through the back, I’ll go and grab your purse for you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

It had been nearly two weeks since that night and you had yet to see Angel. He had texted you the morning after the party to see how you were doing. EZ had told everyone that you had gotten sick and had to leave early. They had bought it but now Angel was wanting to hang out like you both usually did. You were normally inseparable and now you had barely spoken. You would answer his texts, but they were short. He had tried to make plans and you had come up with excuses why you could not make it. You had just been spending your time at home trying to heal from the heartbreak.

It was your first one, and while you knew that the pain would not last forever, that did not make it any easier to deal with. Your tears still snuck up on you out of nowhere sometimes whenever he popped into your mind. It was like a grieving process, and as much as you wanted to try and get back to normal, you just could not face him. You figured Angel wouldn’t even really notice your absence, too caught up in the honeymoon phase with his new girl. The truth was the exact opposite was happening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

“What the fuck is her problem? Every time I hit her up, she’s got an excuse.”

Angel angrily tossed his phone onto the table, both Felipe and EZ looking at him. The father and youngest son shared a look before Felipe went back to slicing up the pork. EZ looked at Angel who now sat back in his chair with an angry expression, arms crossed over his chest. EZ sighed and shook his head, looking out the window.

“Don’t be mad at her.”

Angel’s head snapped to him, an incredulous look on his face.

“What do you mean, don’t be mad at her? She’s been blowing me off for two fuckin’ weeks! No matter what I say we do, she can’t make it. I ask if I can go over to her place, she says she’s not in the mood for company. She barely comes by the clubhouse and when she does, she makes sure I’m not there. What the fuck is that about? I haven’t done shit to her and now she’s avoiding me like the plague. Some fuckin’ friend.”

Angel huffed as his finished ranting, EZ looking directly at him now.

“You broke her heart, Angel.”

The older brother stared blankly before shaking his head as he blinked repeatedly.

“What are you talking about?”

EZ sighed, turning his body to his older brother.

“She’s in love with you, Angel. She has been for months. It’s not a crush or wanting to sleep with you, she fucking loves you. She thinks the sun shines out of your ass like you’re the most perfect thing in the world. That night? When you brought your new girl? I had convinced her to come by and tell you. She went out and bought a dress to grab your attention and everything because I convinced her to just see how you felt. She showed up thinking that she might finally get a chance to be with you, and you came with another woman. You have the right to be with whoever you want, I’m not saying you don’t, but don’t be mad at her. She had her heart broken and was humiliated all within 5 seconds. That’s why she’s ‘blowing you off’. She just can’t…she can’t look at you. It hurts her too much.”

All the anger in Angel’s face and slowly melted as EZ was speaking, but by the time he finished, Angel looked like a kicked puppy. Brows knitted, mouth open slightly in a frown. He had no idea. He never once thought that you held anything more for him than the love of a friend. He had been with plenty of Vicki’s girls and you had never really batted an eyelash. That was much different than having a girlfriend though. He shook his head in disbelief.

“Obviously I never meant for her to get hurt. I wouldn’t have shoved another girl in her face if I knew.”

EZ shrugged, nodding.

“But you did, and she is.”

Angel cursed, slamming his fist on the table, the saltshaker toppling over from the force before standing.

“I gotta go see her.”

General taglist @piccasoe @ateliefloresdaprimavera @gemini0410 @woahitslucyylu @my-rosegold-soul @that-chick212 @everyhowlmarksthedead @glimmerglittergirl @elcococruz @fanaticfangurl21 @ifoundmyhappythought @encounterthepast

Mayans taglist @dazzledamazon @abunnykisses @briana-mishell24

Angel taglist @cardenasarmy @ezekielreyes

#angel reyes #ez reyes #angel x reader #ez x reader #Mayans MC #imagines #mayans fx #mayans imagine

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pink-bird-30 · 3 years ago

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Titans 3x10

Spoilers Ahead

Read at own risk!!!!!

I don't think frustrated is a strong enough term for me to explain how I feel about this episode, but of this entire season as a whole.

Dick mf Grayson, what has happened to you?!?!?!

First off, why go back to the hospital to look at the eye test board? Are you admitting to your hallucinations or just the writers jerking us around? What is the importance of seeing the figure in the eye exam if they are not going to explore it further?!

Glad to see Gotham is back on its usual shit of setting itself on fire and all the residents acting like this is something new. Bruh, I think Gotham was constructed on Hellfire with how often things go sideways; I can't even imagine the taxes to live there.

I'm interested in Gar reading up on the Lazarus Pit. For anybody that knows about Ra's al Ghul, you know that when you get tossed into the pit, you lose your soul. SO are we witnessing the shell of Jason or or the writers forgot the basics of the comics and forgot to put that important piece of the puzzle into play here. Cuz if so, you waited until episode 10 of a probable 13 episode season to explain that Jason lost his soul?????? and still didn't even get to the point because Gar was interrupted by Gotham bullshit.

Why did they make the people of Gotham seem rabid and not, idk, sick? They drank Crane's Toxin and they're acting like dogs with rabies that can pull their joints back into place? like what?

The inconsistency in this episode killed me. Dick and Babs went to a bar causally in the middle of this hell hole of an episode for drinks. And Babs ordered a fucking coffee???? bro, the water is contaminated and you're ordering coffee?!

I'm not even going to touch Donna with a 10ft pole right now because I just don't understand why they had to show her trials with Lydia. It look away from the main plot that was disrupted last episode since we were in the Shadowland getting Tim and Donna back, but still didn't continue that plot into today. What happened to Tim, where is Bruce, how did Donna get to Gotham from wherever the Hell Bruce's other Manor was? Just why?!

I'm glad season 2 Dick showed up for .5 seconds to turn himself in. That was refreshing to see some normalcy from him. This whole scene had me annoyed because Dick talks about them being "family" and what not, but where have you been all season? You have no idea what is going on with any of these people. Does he know Kom and Connor are a thing? Does he know Kori is still hallucinating just like him? Does he realize Gar is the only one who genuinely cares about Jason? Dick has som twisted view on what family is.

The scene when they are all driving to turn themselves in. We are given a scene where Kom is vulnerable and showing her fears of being taken in by the police. But when they pull up to the precinct, we see Dick and Kori exit their own vehicle. So you are telling me that wE COULD OF HAD A SCENE OF DICK AND KORI TALKING ABOUT WHAT WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN? AND THEY DIDN'T SHOW IT?! WHERE IS MY SOFT DICK THAT WOULD SHARE HIS INSECURITIES WITH KORI ABOUT THE DECISIONS HE'S MAKING. (I will obviously be writing a fic about this later).

Jason and Crane are really annoying me now. Crane is a "good bad" but I don't get anything from him. He seems lazy and unconcerned and it bothers me. He's not actively trying to take out the Titans, but instead uses a video to do it form him? I don't know if that is because I'm so used to performative villains in these kinds of shows, but even the past two season the villains were always ready for more. Crane makes me bored. I kinda liked it better when Jason was unhinged.

Big surprise, Gotham cops are dirty.

Okay, we need to break down what happened with Kom and Kori. I'm really torn about whether or not Kom took Kori's power's on purpose. Kori is a very passionate person, whereas Kom is collected and preserved. Their personalities clash all the time, and it makes it hard for me to believe whether Kom is good or not. Kori talks about needing to save others and do what is the best for Gotham, where as Kom is always concerned with their status as Queens and thinking of themselves first. This is what makes me believe Kom did it on purpose when the opportunity presented itself. If not, I do believe she would have found another way. As for Kori, I think she has a right to be unsure of Kom's motives, she knows her sister better than all of us (which is fucked cuz, how are we to know them without knowing their past). In the end I think Kom needs Kori's full trust to break her.

As of right now, Crane has only managed to knock one person down, which was Barbara. But he still has an entire team of people to pull apart and it's taken too long. Slade managed this in 5 seconds last season.

In this entire episode, only one thing rang true, and Dick put it perfectly: "Gotham is on it's own." Which is sad considering Bruce wouldn't have let it go this far. Gotham needs Batman, not the Titans.

After thoughts:

Where is Tim? is he okay? Does Dick care this kid basically died and never mentioned anything about it again?

Bruce, where did Donna leave him? Is he in a safe place where he can't try to blow himself up again?

[Edit cuz people are jerks, It was great to see Rachel again]

Guys, we really need some good shit next week cuz I'm tired.

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