#like I feel like it's important to remember how much of a stereotypical sexy man ppl made Cecil into back then

[otherpeoplesheartachept1]

People are talking abt how Cecil won even tho he's not ""technically"" sexy, abt how he won bc he's beloved by Tumblr, a symbol of hope and acceptance and being unapologetically weird for all of us when we were younger. Which is lovely. And I do think that's accurate to how Cecil is thought of in current day tumblrina minds. But, do you guys not remember that back in the day he absolutely fit the stereotype of a tumblr sexyman?? Are we forgetting how much fanart there was of him as a skinny white bleach-blonde twink??? Are we forgetting twink Cecil in a suit vest and purple tie? Are we forgetting twink Cecil's eye and tentacle tattoos? Are we forgetting people drew (and wrote fanfic of) him with actual TENTACLES. Guys, Cecil is our cool gay dad/uncle, but he's also a sexy tumblr twink, pls don't ever forget that.

[greml1nb0i]

Hazbin Hotel Rewrite [WIP- this is copy and pasted from my docs; this is old but i wanted to share it anyway]

Rewrite the Characters:

Original +opinions (ooo~ Spicy) :

Charlie - Princess of Hell, Daughter of Lucifer. Sheltered and Cheery.

  I hate that she’s just Disney Princess coded. They could have used the whole sheltered route well but TBF we don't see that either.  We see a weird rendition of that where everyone forgives her for her terrible actions but yet other characters like Husk and Angel Dust are somehow held to a higher sense of accountability for their actions?!

  I also don’t believe whoever raised Charlie could keep her away from the ever growing and changing landscape of Hell. Like if you're going to be a Princess of anything its really important for the next heir to be well acquainted with their kingdom's landscape and history. At the very least talk to the locals and commonwealth. 

 Her design is...ok. It didn't change much from the pilot but tbh i liked her Pilot design, I feel like it makes sense for her to wear hints of red and white, but i wish they added more than just red, i feel like black or gold would have been better or even purple for Biblical accuracy of Pride.

Vaggie - Girlfriend to Charlie and protector of the Hotel, ex-Exorcist. 

 Why did they change the lore? Also why does it feel like the VA hated being there or was just given 0 directions. She sounds dull and plain except for when she’s sounding like she’s angry, which is 99.98% Of Vaggie’s emotions.

  That, an amnesia apparently?! How does vaggie not remember the very weapon that cut out her FUCKING EYE that still makes no sense, like how tf her and Lucifer and even Husk have wings, if wings are going to be used for ANY character why make them seem important to Vaggie when Husk literally has wings, and Lucifer the supposed “fallen Angel” STILL HAS HIS?! Like why? How does this make sense? 

Angel - FemBoy, Sex worker. Deals in Self destruction, self loathing and deep depression while also being flirty and promiscuous. Was in a Mafia family. 1940s timeline. 

 Trauma porn character and just a bunch of gay men stereotypes. As a survivor, his story doesn't hit the way its meant to. There's a good and bad way to show SA and Abuse and while they did it “eh” (im saying this loosely) at first, they were completely unrealistic and downright infantilizing at the end.

  There's no way someone who just went through a beating, an having to almost get drugged and dragged out of bar, is going to forgive the same person who started the stupor in the first place- ESPECIALLY ON THE SAME NIGHT!!!!!

I FUCKING CANT WITH THESE WRITERS THINKING MENTAL HEALTH CAN BE SOLVED IN A 20 MIN EPSIODE, IS THIS A KIDS SHOW ABOUT FRIENDSHIP OR AN ADULT SHOW ABOUT CARTOON DEMONS IN HELL. 

And don’t get me started on that terrible musical number, it’s just soft core rape in a cheery pop tune i fucking hate it!! It doesn't help that Raph, an SA fetishist STORYBOARDED THE DAMN SCENE

WHAT THE FUCK MEDRANO!?

Husk - Angry grump, bar keeper. Contracted to Alastor. Gambler. From the 1970 or 60. 

 The design is a character designer's worst nightmares come to life on the screen. Every furry from the early 2000s clutching their pearls in cringe. It screams “omg rawr xD uwu” era and i think we as a society are way past that, i figured a 30 something year old woman would be too.

[apparently it was her sisters OC that was put into the show, viv why?!]

Alastor - radio show host from the 30s. Cannibal. Half Creole. “Wendigo design”. Cocky and always smile but is "quite dangerous when provoked." [yea ok pal]

  An OC from middle school that should have stayed in middle school. There is a reason so many OCs from artists' early childhood don't make it into their new and growing art style. Most of the time if you keep obsessing over the same OCs you stunt yourself on growing in your art. Tumblr Sexy Man is that exact thing. I like him in concept but, if he was drawn better and actually looked like a man from the 1900s and in his 40s,(or even a half creole man; that's supposedly a Wendigo) I'd have less to complain about. His concept is good and interesting, but its not the first or the last and Alastor def isn't the first. Also give that man a haircut please!

Nifty - Japanese-American. From the 50s Obsessive and a neat freak. Camera shy but psychotic.

  I feel like this is just a racist stereotype waiting to be exposed. The “young psychotic Japanese  girl” trope is so fucking old and repetitive that i cant vibe with a character like Nifty when i know her only purpose is to be used as comedy bait. It doesn't help that Viv didn't give Nifty almost any merch! Like WOW really showing favoritism over the merch sales and that is disgusting.

Sir Pentious - British inventor. Kinda an idiot but is a brilliant machinist.

  We were robbed of a decent villain. I hate that he became part of the cast and became the first redeemed as if Angel wasn't there longer and started showing signs of Redemption sooner, like we got more Redemption scenes of Angel but like NONE of Pentious and we are supposed to believe this weird snake dude is redeemed just cuz he kissed a girl and got himself killed for nothing???? VIVZIE YOUR ASS WRITING IS ASS!!

Also he's a stolen Character...seems to be a trend for Viv..

Lucifer - King of Hell, Father of Charlie, Sin of Pride. Depressed and non-serious, deep self loathing. Complex of some sort. Short King.

 He’s fine..i guess, i mean its freaking Jeremy Jordan VA-ing him…he kind fixes whatever is wrong with Lucifer character wise. [this is for very obvious reasons a joke, while re-reading this i realized some people might not know i'm being sarcastic,oopsies] He’s a terrible character for numerous reasons. He is kinda homophobic if you really think about that “i like girls too” line and then proceeds to call her “MAGGIE”;  Lucifer feels like he is just there to satisfy Viv’s  disney esque “daddy issues” type kink she has for “tragic characters and shitty dads” type characters.

 Designs wise he trash. He looks like jeff the killer but blonde and drawn by your aunt who refused to go to art school

Cherri Bomb - Angels Friend. Arsonist. From the 60s(?). Punk rock.

 Her design is literally traced and just the Addict design…the fans are just stupid. Also i dont like the fact that Viv EXPECTED viewers of her show, to have done homework on who the fuck Cherri is, cuz if you're a new watcher, and didn't read the fucking Vivziepop Bible, you wont know who tf she if or why you should even care about her.

 Why is Angel hanging out with someone like this in the first place, You’d think because Angel is older and from a different time period he wouldn't vibe with Cherri?? But apparently Viv thinks a fem gay man from the 30s would be the best homie to a 20 yr old punk rock Aussie from the 60s, a whole 3 decades of time difference!! Tell us why and how they know each other!! How can these fundamentally very different people even vibe together!! Is it just cus "wow shared trauma of abusive lovers" cuz wow Viv.

(her entire design is also stolen soooooo~)

Mimzy - who?

This one also feels really fucking racist. Idk what it is with Viv but the jewish stereotypes of Mimzie are absolutely atrocious. 

Fix:

Charlie - [TBD]

Vaggie - [TBD]

Angel - [TBD]

Husk - [TBD]

Alastor - [TBD]

Nifty - [TBD]

Sir Pentious - [TDB]

Lucifer - 

 Was an Angel with dreams, and took part in the Creation of All Things.

   However Lucifer was too ambitious and went off course with the designs of Earth’s creatures, causing the other Angels to feel uncomfortable by him and his new creations. 

While the Angels were tolerating him, he was allowed to visit the First Human, but in doing so felt that their lack of knowledge was unfair and so in hopes of helping the other Angels see things his way, he gave the Apple of Knowledge to Adam and Lilith. 

 This didn't go as planned though, Where Lilith became kinder and more empathetic, Adam however became more uptight, and acted as if he was better than Lilith.

 Lucifer defended Lilith against Adam thus causing the Angels attention to be drawn. Seeing what Lucifer had done; Ultimately bringing evil (free will) into the world, They (strangely) cast Lucifer AND Lilith, as well as the creatures Lucifer had created to the dark void;

 The Angels now would call it, Hell. Lucifer, home. 

Lucifer would first land in Hell confused and depressed, Along with Lilith they both begin to freak out as they look into the dark, empty landscape in front of them. Feelings of bitterness begin to reside within Lucifer, that settled into a resilient sense of ignorant Pride. 

Lucifer’s Creations - 

 The demons and most of the Hellborns. Lucifer is treated as the Divine Judge of Hell, His punishment is having to witness all the evil that had been created due to him and He in turn must turn what could never be, into another one of his creations. Though he is given it a process. He has given up on making anymore Hellborns due to them fixing that themselves. Demons that are specifically Dead Humans (The Sinners).

Sins - 

��All of the Sins were once creatures created by Lucifer that began to Form into The 7 Deadly Sins. However the rest of these creatures evolved into lower ranks and a hierarchy was formed. With the Sins and Lucifer being at the top.

 The 7 are special creatures that Lucifer held a special fondness to in particular. More so than some of the other Creations. Each of these Sins were given a mission after the fall and were subsequently turned into the Sins by the Angels, who felt they deserved the same punishment, if not worse, as Lucifer. Forcing each of the Sins to work as their prince/princess of their specific ring unless they want their entire existence to cease. They rather that not happen.

The angels cursed all the sins, and Lucifer himself. that if they ever stop their torment they will cease to exist. Angels thought this was humane but didn't realize or rather didn't care that much at the time how barbaric it actually is. 

Dubbed the Curse of the Angels or Angels Kiss 

(play on Kiss of Death where whomever Death kissed is marked for death, 

here the Sins were “kissed” by the Angels and a “kiss” was once used to symbolize a curse or bad omen onto another)

their "death" however is more than they evaporate into nothing

its their very minds and bodies slowly begin to deteriorate painfully to the point of being empty husks. No expression, No emotions, No sense of self. Nothing. Their consciousness and personality essentially gets erased entirely.

Premise IDEAS for Rewrite: 

1] 

Sinners go through character arc delving into their issues that lead to each one's Redemption

Heaven gets upset over the rise of redemption in Sinner 

 Earthly Denizens of Heaven/ “winners”  attack the Hotel

The Sinners and the Staff defend the Hotel

Heaven’s attackers are turned fallen. 

{END}

so i started this almost a year ago, it was right when i really started to dislike Viv and Helluva Flop Boss. If you wanna give a suggestion on what you think could make this better go for it. It's a WIP- so any advice is welcome and appreciated!!

[mettywiththenotes]

I know this is something of a "controversial" topic in MHA fandom, but I do like the female characters in MHA. I know they don't get as much time as the male characters, but we do have to remember that this is a Shounan Genre and it's a Manga written by a man. Even in Shounans written by women (Fullmetal Alchemist), men still get the spotlight and I feel like Horikoshi has done his best to break typical gender stereotypes for his female characters.

Yes, Momo is sexy and her costume is appalling. But she's intelligent and humble and she has a really cool arc where a male character has be subordinate to her. How often in Shounans do we see one of the main male protagonists taking orders from a lady?

Yes, Ochako is sometimes reduced to just her feelings for Izuku. But she's a bruiser, a fighter and her relationship with Himiko Toga is treated as being just as important as Shouto and Dabi's relationship and Izuku and Tomura's relationship.

Yes, Mei is kinda used for boob jokes sometimes. But she's an intelligent, dirty, resourceful mechanic who's allowed to be all those things and initially she was gonna be a man, so Horikoshi is trying to include more ladies in his work. Tsuyu and Toru also started as males.

MHA's female characters aren't perfect, but they're definitely better than most of the rest of the shit we see in the Shounan Genre like in shows such as Yu-Gi-Oh! and Dragon Ball. We have feral fighters like Miruko, cranky old ladies like Recovery Girl, heroic damsels like Eri. I for one think that we got lucky to have the ladies we do.

I agree with you!

I know a lot of people harp on about the female characters, sometimes I can see why, but personally I think the women are great! I'm sure there are better ways to treat them, but I don't think they're treated very badly

I've heard before that Shonen Jump has a thing about "being a manga for teenage boys so it has to feature stuff the 'typical teenage boy' would want to see". You know, like fanservice, or boys their age, love interest stuff where the guy gets the girl and so on and so forth

(I've also heard that Shonen Jump doesn't have a single female writer on their team precisely because of the "for teenage boys" thing, which is stupid imo)

But for what's there? For what we actually have?

For women who are shown to have their own minds, their own goals, their own successes and failures and learning experiences? I would say we have quite a bit going for us there

This fandom really likes to focus on the most negative things, for example, Ochako's crush on Izuku being seen as "love interest" stuff and that's the only purpose she serves

When, canonically, we have *looks at notes* Ochako wanting to see people happy, fighting for that happiness, she even has her own narrative ("Who protects the Heroes when they need protecting?"), she wants to save people NOT just because of Izuku's influence but also because she witnessed a man dying in her arms, felt the weight of that life and wanted to prevent that from ever happening again. You also have the whole thing about her being independent to a fault, financial trauma, wanting to give her parents a better life, and then the stuff with Toga, the Villain to her Hero, and she wants to understand her

Like. I'm not denying that she's a very likely love interest, but there's more to her than that stuff, you know? And it's shown very well that she is more than just a love interest, believe it or not

About the Momo thing, I'm sure there are like. quite a lot of instances of Shounen boys listening to girls, even if just once, (tho admittedly I am drawing a blank on naming anime/manga with those instances in), but I do think people forget about that arc quite a lot! It was a big battle in terms of character development for Momo and it's like people just forget about it. Actually, I feel like people forget about her confidence issues in general when they say stuff like "she's just a face and tits for the manga"

I agree about Mei too! She's allowed to be quirky and get dirty and be all over the place, and she's so intelligent too. And reckless! And that moment with her telling Izuku that Support students can be Heroes too was such a great moment for her, I'm really glad that role was given to her first out of anyone else. I'm pretty sure that's the FIRST instance of someone saying Support student/anybody else outside of the actual Heroes can be heroes too! And the fact that it started with her? *chefs kiss* love it

About the whole switching genders thing! Yeah! I like that Hori balanced it out more so it wasn't one-sided. People go on about the story feeling one-sided with girls vs boys and I guess I can see why in terms of class 1a, but it could have been much worse

And, may I mention, you even have complicated female characters, mothers, by the way, who are not all painted as innocent or nurturing or without fault, who are just as complex as the boys can be

Honestly I could go on and on about the female characters. I'm considering doing a bnha ask game of people sending me female characters to analyse just because I feel like people think there's nothing to them at all when... there is something there to talk about, actually 👀 which would just be something for fun btw. I would like to do it and see how much I can dig up!

Are there things that could be improved? Sure.

Do we wish there were female characters who had more focus than they get? Yes.

But is there nothing but fanservice, crushes and female character background decoration, like people seem to imply? No.

Just wanted to mention before I'm done: You also have a case of breaking gender stereotypes for the boys too. Satou, anyone? You know, the boy who bakes for fun? Who's a muscly strong guy and uses desserts to get strong, but also bakes because he can, for his classmates and for FUN?

Anyway yeah. Long answer short, I agree with you haha

[billionairesitgirl]

Do you have any tips to help someone who keeps failing? I have been trying for several years now to get started and feeling more and more hopeless every year. I have attended $$$ events, lost weight, moved closer to major cities. Then of course COVID struck and made things worse. Is there something I can do that can help me gain an "in" or are certain things just not meant for some girls.

KEEP TRYING !!!

Yes i screamed it...  but that’s because thats the most important thing in succeeding.

Secondly Congrats on taking the steps and trying..... 

(THIS MIGHT MAKE MAKE YOU NEUROTIC.... If you already are then DO NOT DO THIS)

The following is also important 

1.) Have you asked your self why you keep failing?

Take a pen and paper and spend an entire day by yourself. Think, play things over in your head and Analyze.... This is probably the only time i truly suggested, over analyzing the crap out of your life, decisions, faliures and successes. 

(a) What mistakes, do you keep making? or What mistakes do you think you keep making. 

(b) what makes them mistakes 

(c) Would those actions have worked out better in something else or displayed to someone else 

(d) who and/or what would this action work on

2.) List your obstacles ... Every single one you could think of... 

Make 3 categories

 .....Obstacles you have gone through - What caused it? who caused it? (Regardless of who caused it... You owe some responsibility... so still own up to it... But remember BE KIND to yourself...) 

There is a fine line between being kind to yourself  and completely absolving yourself of any responsibility when owning up to the responsibility of things gone wrong

......Obstacles repeated - How do you NOT repeat this Again?

.......Obstacles Imagined and Obstacles that could still happen (based on different things, character flaws, finances, men’s personalities, race, looks, nature) Get as detailed as needed.  

Man plans and God unplans ... 

However, as humans we have ability to at least create contingencies... try to come up with possible contingency plan and POSSIBLE action on how to still not stand still when one of those obstacles appear... Basically figure out another way to scale through, wiggle through, swim through... whatever way (As long as there is life, health and will... there is a way.... After all people have clawed out of dungeous using only a stick or even their finger nails)

3.)  What have you tried that didnt work? or keeps failing... List it

4.) What ever #3 is that didnt work... What is the alternative that you haven’t tried. 

5.) Clearly you see this as an investment if you have lost weight, moved etc... What is missing in the picture? (I don’t know you, nor have I spent time with you or know your thinking process or views... So this is something even if you dont know what is missing... You have to sit and think... Sleep on it, give it time but remain introspective but be mindful to know when clarity presents itself. 

Being brutally Honest with yourself is the only way to know what is missing and where you are missing. 

Example: I met a gorgeous black girl A few months ago. From the get go, I knew she was hypergamous... The men also knew. But there was something missing and i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Until we were all talking with the men present. 

She carried herself as a pretty girl, sweet and bubbly... But she made the mistake of trying to emulate the white woman’s countenance... So she could be doted on same as a white woman... I can’t explain this in detail.

But while it is good to emulate things noteworthy in other people... She lost her self and her own personal spark.  As a black woman... She avoided the pitfalls of a stereotypical black woman (quote on quote)... in the process, she mistakenly lost her goddess quality and blended in with the rest.  The men moved on from her. 

My Point is: WHAT IS MISSING... Are your run of the Mill? What is your core

6.) Standard - 

Do you have set standards? expectations of yourself and of the Men and of your surroundings?

Do you keep it? Do you up hold it or do you switch or lower it under pressure? 

Not to give too much information... I refused to live in the poor neighborhood when i moved off college campus. I lived in a condo and lived Smack in the center of the wealthy part of the city. I was not in this lifestyle then... But it was simply my standards... And even though it meant staying on campus longer till i got it... I did that.

Example 2: I have friends who do not care what hole they enter to get entertained (granted you can meet people anywhere)... But I am not the type that goes out very often... So why will i waste my few outings in some frat boys bar or club. So I go to high end places.

Example 3: I met a man who recently sold his company with upwards of $80 Million... I wasn’t told... I was aware of the process and listened to him through the proceess complain about delay in the closing and trying to avoid tax etc

He was deperate to meet me in person. As a matter of fact the day he closed. He flew me to his city (I went cause i was bored).  Long story Short... He is the type of man that got lucky... There isn’t much in terms of comparison... Thinks he knows everything, thinks himself black people’s savior and makes comments such as “If there were black women like you”...  Has some racists views he doesn’t think is racists... I met his friends... I liked one (But he just recently got remarried and was the smartest of the bunch). They had pissing games who had thr most rolex collection etc... He was crazy about me... Still is even without so much as a kiss and i spent a weekend there. (Had my own hotel room)

But, I knew while the money was there, he was generous and was crazy about me... It would drive me nuts being with him and interacting with his friends... My standard here is that I won’t deal with any man who so much as stresses me mentally especially as I am a black woman... I won’t take nonsense.

My Point is : What do you compromise on that you do? It is a long road being steadfast to your standard... But it has been worth it for me.

Do not use anyone’s standard... Create your own and work on keeping it... Men will despise you for it... But respect you all the same.... It is a weird placed to be.

7.) What type of events do you attend. When you attend events, go out etc... What do you do? How do you approach these events? Do you wing it? Do you plan it?  Are you fearless and confident or shy or just pleasant enough to exchange pleasantries alone? What vibe do you give off? 

How do you dress? Different styles can come across different ways... Some ooze Sexy, some ooze elegance with a hint of sexy, some basic, some regular, some say just another event person

8.) Closer to Major cities : what part of that do you live? Even if you are not in the center of things... Where do you go when you go out? How often to do go to wealthy areas, who do you interact with there? 

There is a plethora of questions who have to ask yourself.

With Covid I have met people (but then, I work for myself and have more freedom to move around and also take mini vacation in other cities) And I already have a network... So, I have a  leg up -  

But, I know girls here and people are also still meeting people.

What is stopping you? What avenues and methods have you tried? Have you thought outside the box? 

Hopeless? No... Wrong direction... As you fail you learn things that dont work so that should make you hopeful. 

Also, I am a big beliver in manifestation and law of attraction. Feeling hopless will only make things more hopless...It will attract more faliure...

Find ways to think more positively, ways to turn negative things into potentially positive things... In this case you do not have to be rational... Imagine everything negative happening has a positive... 

e.g  : A man cancelled on you = It wasn’t meant to be... It might have turned into a terrible situation for you... Thank God or the universe for saving you from whatever it is you arent aware of. 

eg : Covid happening : Time to make more money, invest. Brush yourself up, level up some more, learn new ways to meet this men and become more resilient so you come out fire when, the world isnt tupsy turvy

e.g : Getting older: Perfect, the more sure and certain you become in yourself, the more you actually find out what makes you stand apart, the more you find out who you are and realize that whatever amount a man was going to give you last year, you’ve outgrown it with age, maturity, acheivements etc.

You get the gist.... NEVER FEEL HOPELESS

You can feel sad... But not hopeless... Dust yourself up and try again...

Maybe one day i will take time out to share some of my own short comings and faliures... Cause i think we share the successes much more;  that people think there aren’t mistakes and faliures and short comings... I have had them, and I continue to work and fix them. 

The only thing is after my introspection... and brow beating myself and figuring it out...i don’t like to dwell on the faliures... I put my self to work updating myself. Besides I think sharing more good news brings more good news and vibes... But, there isn’t anyone that can claim to not have had obstacles and faliures.

Finally: My sister beleives everyone has a destiny... But everyone is also capable of changing theirs... 

With regards to your question...  About certain type of girls ...

The Answer is NO...

Some people might find it harder, or lack the resources and know how

But trying, pushing ones self, acquiring knowlegde and doing whatever it takes (of course within reason and comfines of morality ) Is what makes the difference.

As i write... I know women who took their entire savings to go to ST Barts for New Year...  (Would I? NO) But some would... My point is. 

You will go as far as you are capable of seeing yourself go.

So if you want a change in your pattern... You have to break the wheel... Try something new you haven’t tried yet... And a new approach. 

Question for you: “Gain an in?” Into what circle do you want an in? What type of man

#hypergamy, #datingtips #sugardatingtips #sugardatingadvice #levelup #levelupadvice #sugardatingtip #sugardating

[james-rowan]

Here’s my (very late, sorry 😓) contribution to the @dualrainbow Pride event. Thank you To_Dragons for helping me edit.

Ships: Montagne/Blitz, Lion/Doc, Valkyrie/Finka and Castle/Maverick

The Pride Festival

The Austin Texas Pride Festival was held on a hot, sunny afternoon, and it smelled of fair food, sunscreen and energy. It was colorful, and bright, mrainbows everywhere, adorning stalls, signs and, of course, people.

To the European operators who had been to Pride events before, it was not only loud, but bold. From the outfits, that ranged from simple rainbow wristbands to full on outrageous outfits (or just a jockstrap), to the signs and stalls and performance stages. Couples were embracing, kissing and making out openly and passionately, without shame or guilt, not only couples but the rare poly groups, finally able to carry on with open affections and taking full advantage. The atmosphere was infectious. It had already claimed Maverick and Castle, who walked very close to each other -despite the heat- hands in each other’s back pockets. They also were very unrestrained with the kissing.

And Montagne thought that he and Blitz could be overly affectionate. But then he was still waiting for his lover to meet them there. He had flown out on his own specifically for this.

Their group included the aforementioned Castle and Maverick, Valkyrie, Finka, himself, Lion and Doc.

They had traveled from Fort Polk, Louisiana, where they, that being the FBI SWAT, SEALs and GIGN, and one tagalong (at her vehement request) Finka, were doing training with the U.S. Army rangers stationed there. After two weeks of a field exercise in muggy swamplands, their Pride group had been excited to go somewhere dry, but unfortunately Houston did not live up to the Texas desert stereotypes; it was almost as humid as Fort Polk. But at least here there was civilization. And Montagne himself was excited to finally see Blitz.

“Schatz!”

Speaking of whom, he was charging at them, looking very much the part of a Pride attendee. He caught his lover in his arms, swinging him around once, despite the soreness from training, then dipped him into a deep kiss. that gained the awe and cheers of not only from some in their own group, but several onlooking strangers as well.

When they finally parted , Lion muttered, “They’re acting like they haven’t seen each other in a year.”

The couple ignored him as Blitz held Monty out in arms length to appraise his outfit. He tutted, “Not to live up to the stereotype, Schatz, but what are you wearing?”

Montagne looked down at himself. He was wearing a lightweight button down with rolled up sleeves, dark trousers and shined shoes, nothing offensive, if a bit formal compared to everyone else, but the reason was important.

Blitz himself was dressed the complete opposite, wearing a loose stringer tanktop that exposed his toned shoulders and even his pecs when he moved just right. Jean cutoff shorts, sneakers with colorful laces, large sunglasses, a backwards ball cap, wristbands: every article of clothing was either rainbow colored, or had an inclusive pride flag adorning it.

“Euh… what’s wrong with it?

“If it were any other day, nothing,” Blitz said. “You look sharp and sexy as ever. But this is Pride, American Pride, ja? Look around.”

Almost everyone was wearing Pride merchandise, had flags draped on their shoulders, or had face paint of various LGBTQ+ symbols, from obvious t more subtle. The bolder were the ones wearing much more and the even bolder much less.

Blitz grabbed his hand, “Come, we’re fixing this.”

“Aren’t we a little old for…”

“Psst, nein. This will be fun, ja? To dress up as we please, get swept up in the atmosphere.”

“We can already dress as we please.”

“I mean colorful, and silly, no fashion rules to hold us back. Come on!”

With that Blitz dragged him off, leaving the rest in their wake.

~

“Well,” Finka chuckled. “Hi to you too, Elias.”

“Those two are disgusting,” Lion snickered. “How long have they been together? A year?”

“Two,” Finka said. “With no signs of slowing down.”

“Their honeymoon phase is going to last forever at this rate,” Valkyrie said.

“That explains why Gilles is going to…” Lion stopped himself, eyes wide.

“What is Gilles going to do?” Valkyrie was now very interested.

“Olivier, you wanted to show me something?” Doc, the amazing man he was, quickly interjected.

Had it been a few months ago, Lion would have been confused, but now Doc had bailed him out enough times during conversations that he immediately went, “Ah right, this way.”

“We’ll go with you,” Valkyrie smirked.

“Non, non, it's private,” Lion said.

“The good Catholic boy he is, he cannot share,” he said, steering Lion away before he could reveal too much.

Out of earshot, Lion mumbled, “How can you be nice while mocking me at the same time?” Lion was a bit prickly at the Catholic comment. It has always been a point of mockery for people outside the church.

“I could ask you the same. You have quite the talent for it. Far more than I can hope to achieve.”

“Most of the time I don’t mean to.”

“I know.” Doc’s tone softened into a reassuring one, giving his side a squeeze. “Otherwise we wouldn’t have found common ground, mon coeur,” he said. “People also tend not to question when a Catholic needs to do private things, no? With Islam it works quite well.”

Lion took a deep breath, but understood. It was nothing malicious. “Thank you. I didn’t want to be the one to fuck that all up.”

It had taken years to come to a mutual understanding, let alone to find a way to deal with their mutual attraction to one another. It was a rocky, long road, but here they were. Lion hoped one day they would be exactly like Blitz and Montagne, or even just Castle and Maverick.

Lion brushed his forefinger against Doc’s hand, tentatively seeking to hold it. Their relationship was so new, so fragile, like a baby bird or sugar glass, too easy to hurt or shatter. A hundred things, even things gentle or nice, could ruin a relationship, if you looked into it. And considering their history, before they got together… where just one off hand remark would destroy a truce they had established between each other, setting them at each other's throats once again. Lion never wanted to go back to those times. He’d do anything to keep it from degrading back.

Doc immediately took hold of his hand, as if he had been waiting to do so all day, giving a loving squeeze.

Warmth flooded Lion, he felt a giant stupid grin spreading across his face. It was almost too much, as he felt pricks in his eyes, as he squeezed back. He glanced sideways at Doc, finding him gently smiling, mellow as always when he was content. He wanted nothing more than to sweep him up and kiss him fiercely, but maybe then it’d be too much. He’d settle for this for now.

After browsing a couple stalls, he remembered something. What did the relationship advice he found on that one website say? That he should always seek to compliment and let someone know how much their actions mean to him, so he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to find the right words.

“You know,” Lion said, barely able to be heard over the crowd. “I’m so glad you’re willing to hold my hand.”

“Willing? I want to,” Doc corrected, bringing it to his lips and kissing his knuckles.

Lion smile only grew wider, and he had to look away as red creeped from his ears to his cheeks now. “J’taime.”

“J’taime.”

The warm fuzzy feeling in his chest threatened to burst, helped along by with the anxiety, the pervasive fear that this was about to be ripped from him at any moment.

They grabbed something to eat and sat down on a bench. If American food was considered greasy, their fair food was simply lard on a plate, with maybe some sugar or ketchup for seasoning. They commented on this to each other, when something caught Lion’s eye. There were older women and a couple of men wearing t-shirts, that said “free mom hugs.” (the men’s shirts said ‘dad’) As implied, they hugged everyone who came up to them. Some hugs were light and quick, and some deep and heartfelt, lasting many minutes. Lion’s eyes followed one of them until he came upon a group of them, holding signs, the same message written on them.

“Is that what I think?”

“Hmm?” Doc looked up. “Ah, probably. Hold on.”

To Lion's horror, his fellow frenchman asked a nearby American who they were; the man explaining with a bright smile that they were a charity organization that helped LGBTQ+ youth, and they gave out hugs - of course -, for any who had been rejected by their families for their sexuality.

Small talk ensued, in which Lion was only half-participating in as he ate, and when the man finally left, Doc nudged his side.

“You’ve been glancing at them this whole time. Go on, go talk to them.”

“I don’t need a hug.”

Doc tsked, “That’s a lie.”

“Huh?”

“If anyone needs a hug from a father figure, it is you, no?”

“I…” Lion paused then shook his head. “No, I’m over it, I put it behind me. It happened over a decade ago, after all.”

Doc raised an eyebrow, one of his infuriatingly knowing smiles tugging at his lips.

“They are for this who were disowned for being homosexual, Gustave. I was not...”

“And your father would have accepted you being with another man? Or is it only teens getting their girlfriends pregnant that he takes moral issue with?”

Lion didn’t have an answer for him. Well he did, just not a verbal one. There were so many reasons his father wanted nothing to do with him.

“I’m over it,” he repeated, but this time with less conviction.

“Then it would be of no consequence,” Doc said, squeezing his hand. “Go on.”

It was an awkward walk to approach them. He had to remind himself he was a soldier, he had faced death multiple times, fought against some of the most dangerous people in the world and this- This was just a civilian man at a pride event. Much older than him, sure, with a kind face and beard. But he realized as his step grew increasing hesitant that it wasn’t the human he was afraid of, but his soul, and what it could do to his own with just a few brash words.

What was he even going to say? “Hey I saw your sign, my dad hates me, can I get a hug?” That was ridiculous. Maybe lean into the role this man was offering to play, “Sorry dad, I was a fuck up, I can't change?" Or… "sorry you were not capable of loving me the way I am?" Both sounded completely rude to say to a stranger.

But as he approached, the older man met his eye, and there was no need for questions, nor words. The dad only smiled at him and opened his arms.

Lion found himself in the other man’s embrace before he even realized, hugging him as if his life depended on it. The older man matched his energy, a hand on the back of his head as if Lion really was his own child. Time seemed to stretch on and on; Lion had been anticipating a quick hug, just a little taste of what he got so envious of every time he saw someone have a loving moment with their parent, but no, his body refused to let go and so did this stranger. This stranger who held onto him with a fatherly patience Lion once thought only existed in fantasy.

The lump growing in his throat ached. He tried swallowing it down, but it only made it worse.

He shouldn’t have done this. He thought he was over it, yet it hurt, it hurt so fucking much…!

He wanted to run, he wanted to stay, he wanted…

“It’s alright to cry,” the man whispered. “I got you.”

“My real father disowned me.” Lion wasn’t proud of how strangled his voice sounded, or how he let some tears escape.

“I’m so sorry, son,” the man replied, rubbing his back gently. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“I did.”

“No, you didn’t. Nobody does.”

“I never could give him a reason to love me.”

“Children don’t need to give a reason. They’re supposed to be loved by their parents, no matter what mistakes they made, real or imagined. You deserve to be loved.”

Lion was biting the inside of his cheek, trying to will away the need to sob. This was a happy moment, a validating moment, with kind words, and warmth, why did it hurt so much then? His fingers clutched at the man’s shirt, as he gently rocked them. It didn’t feel infantilizing, it felt relieving, needed, like a hole finally being filled.

“You can cry, you know,” the man whispered again. “Emotions are made to be expressed. You don’t have to be strong, not here, not with me. I know you’re hurting, Don’t worry, I’m here.”

A choked sob escaped, and Lion pressed his face into the man's shoulder. “There you go, let it out, I’m proud of you.”

There was no coming back from that. He broke down, and it was ugly.

Lion sobbed into his arms, all rsesemblance of control disappearing, but the father held him through it all. It lasted way longer than Lion thought possible, but they eventually subsided, and he was still being held as he calmed down. When he felt strong enough to break the embrace, he was met with a gentle, fatherly smile.

“Do you feel better?”

“Oui.. yes, thank you,” he wiped his face with his own shirt. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” the manhe said. “I’m just doing what fathers were meant to do.”

“Merci.”

They talked for a little while after. About what happened with his father, his family, himself. The cynical side of him expected them to reveal their ulterior motive, asking him for charity donations, to attend a church service, or even a cult, but they didn’t offer him any flyers or business cards, just warm words... water and tissues. At least he wasn’t the first grown man to cry like this in their arms. They were genuinely good people.

Doc had been waiting patiently for him on the bench, and stood up to embrace him and kiss his cheek upon his return. “How do you feel?”

“Drained,” he said. Then he added, “Relieved. I guess you were…” he caught himself. “No, you were completely right.”

“I’m glad you went then, mon coeur.”

Lion needed a smoke. Before got to know him, Lion would have assumed the doctor was too high and mighty for a nicotine fix, but then found out he was a man in a high stress job like the rest of them, and didn’t judge. Except on the mandatory substance abuse powerpoints they all had to sit through every few months.

He lit up, drawing the smoke in and letting it mellow him out. Every so often he would think back and a few more tears would leak out.

He wiped his eyes with his thumb. “You know why I was so happy that you took my hand?”

“Non,” Doc said, rubbing his back. “But please tell me.”

“I was at the store with my mother and father,” he said. “I was just following along, and I see my mother offer her hand to hold, you know, this gesture…”

He made it. Doc patiently nodded.

“Well I was nearest to her, I think. I was so happy, I remember feeling loved, all warm, because my mama wanted to hold my hand.”

He paused, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Go on, I’m listening.”

Lion took a deep breath. His voice shuddered, “She let go, non.. she threw my hand away from her, in utter disgust. As if I were disgusting. She snapped, ‘I don’t want your hand.’”

Lion ducked his head. “It was a small thing, yes, but it hurt, it hurt so much. Turned out she wanted my father’s hand, not her son’s, not mine.”

It was a few beats later before Doc said, “How old were you?”

“Four, maybe five,” Lion said. “I hate that feeling, those moments where you finally feel happy and loved, and the next second someone shatters it completely. Despair is a good word for it, I think.”

“How often did these types of things happen?”

“Plenty, I was a disgusting child, after all.”

“No,” Doc said. “She was just… cruel.”

Lion huffed, not a wry laugh, just disbelieving. “You’re not going to tell me that she tried her best?”

“Did she?”

“I… I don’t know…”

“Then I think not,” Doc said softly, cupping Lion’s cheek. He leaned into the warmth.

"I still get this horrible… fear when I want to take someone’s hand, or show any affection. So I usually don’t.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you, mon cher. And if I ever make you feel the way your mother did, I want you to tell me.”

Lion nodded, looking down, not entirely sure if he would. Doc tilted his head back up. “Hey, I mean it.”

Lion took his hand and almost went for a kiss, but the deep moment was interrupted by Blitz and Monty approaching. Lion quickly turned away so neither of the two could see his red puffy eyes, but he did see Monty was wearing a stringer tanktop, tie dyed rainbow, and adorned with rainbows in body paint and a look of subdued embarrassment any time Elias had his back turned. Blitz was going a bit overboard on this look.

“Have you seen Meghan?” Blitz said, “unless you have a bag?”

Doc pointed them into the right direction, as Lion quickly drank his water.

“Olivier, are you okay?”

“He just needs some alone time with me,” Doc saved him. Again.

The pair offered their sympathies to Lion (much to his annoyance) and wandered off to find the two women.

“Don’t you ever dress me up that garishly,” Lion snickered.

“Please, mon coeur, I have taste,” Doc said, before grabbing his knee and squeezing, voice now whispering in his ear. “Besides, I prefer you out of your clothes.”

He nipped his earlobe before Lion could exasperate out his name, earning a yelp instead.

Any semblance of protocol melted into genuine, unmasked joy just to be in each other’s company, in a welcoming space where they could be open about themselves Gustave himself was intent on kissing his lover better.

~

Finka and Valkyrie had been watching a stage performance when Blitz appeared at Valkyrie’s side, grinning, as usual, and... now covered in glitter?

“Meghan, can we borrow your purse?”

“Huh?”

“I don’t want to have to carry around Gilles’s shirt all day.”

Valkyrie turned fully to see Montagne, who had trailed in after him, no longer wearing his tasteful, understated ensemble, but had been attacked by rainbows and what looked to be the same shimmer bomb that Blitz must have been caught in.

“No, you’re going to get glitter in it,” Valkyrie frowned.

“Please? I’ll clean it out for you myself.”

“Glitter?” Finka said, turning around. “We have to ride back with your boyfriend, and you wore glitt-”

Finka must have caught sight of Montagne’s giant pecs escaping the too small, flimsy shirt, because she turned bright red and turned back to stare very intently at the performer.

All Valkyrie herself could think was ’damn Montagne is strong and it shows’, but that was it, of course. Her girlfriend however was bi, with a particular weakness for large people with muscles.

“Och, I almost forgot,” Blitz said cheekily. “You have any sunscreen? Gilles wasn’t prepared for this outfit.”

“I don’t think any of us were prepared,” Finka snipped, still keeping Montagne out of her line of sight. She pulled out a sunblock bottle from her cargo pocket and tossed it over.

“You alright there, Lera?” Blitz asked as he caught it.

“I’m fine, it's just hot,” she replied, still avoiding eye contact, “The weather, I mean.”

Blitz grinned, “He is hot, isn’t he?”

“Mon cher…” Montagne groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just…”

Meghan clapped her hands, “Okay, go away, go be gay somewhere else. We have enough that of our own over here.”

Blitz ignored her, looking at Finka with a grin, “What do you think of us getting temporary hair color? I was thinking of dyeing our hair rainbow.”

“Well, you’ve gone this far,” Finka said, pointedly staring at Blitz’s eyes. “Might as well go full golubok.”

“Hah, ja, I like the way you think, I…”

“Here,” Meghan said, grabbing Gilles’s shirt from Blitz’s hands and stuffing it into her purse. “Go dye your hair now. Go on.”

“Alright, all right.” Blitz grinned, holding up his hands and going. Montagne sighed deeply, a twitch working its way through his cheek before following. Odd, but not her problem. She had someone much more important to worry about.

“You’re into muscles, huh?”

“You know I am,” Finka said sheepishly. “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting that.”

Valkyrie laughed, “It’s fine, he got great boobs.” That caused Finka to snort. “You know, for a man.”

Finka laughed longer than she expected, but it was always nice when her girlfriend had one of her genuine laughs.

“It's always nice to see real muscles,” Finka said. “Real ones, from being big and strong, and healthy.”

“Oh, you mean some like mine?” She flexed, tattooed arms positively sexy as the bulged.

Finka’s eyes got a hungry glunt to them, she put her hands on Valkyrie’s arms, feeling the solidness beneath her fingers, “Yes, just like that.”

Finka kissed her girlfriend long and deep, and Valkyrie relished being able to do so in the open, without the anxiety of having some bigot laying eyes on them and causing a scene. It was annoying enough to deal with the old people (and the occasional man similarly aged man) she had never met before tsk at her for daring to have tattoos and being too buff, saying she was too pretty to mark herself up like that and ask how she was ever going to find a man looking like that. She had already broke the glass ceiling for women in something as prestigious and hardcore as the Navy fucking SEALs, but there were still so many in American society that were convinced that women existed to look pleasant to men, regardless of if said women even wanted a pet man or not.

The kiss was broken when Finka’s wristwatch timer went off, and her girlfriend quickly drank from her water bottle. It was such a practiced motion, Valkyrie wasn’t entirely convinced Lera was aware she was doing it, and it made her heart ache. When she was finished, she wrapped her arm around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her temple.

Later they were browsing stalls, and Finka gravitated towards one that was selling pride flags and shirts, not only the standard colors for each identity group, but also the ones that represented multiple identities within the same flag. Finka fingered a nonbinary one with a heart in the bisexual colors on its center. Interesting choice.

“I’d love to see you wear one of these, babe.”

Finka smiled, but shook her head, “I don’t know…”

“Come on, I’m not trying to pull a Blitz on you, I’ll wear one with you.”

“And what am I going to do with it afterwards?”

“Keep it? We’re not in Russia, our base is in Greece, basically its own sovereign territory.”

“When you went through SEALs, there were dissenters that tried to prove your were lesbian so they could get you removed from the program, didn’t they?”

Valkyrie shrugged, “Yeah, but they failed.”

“The last thing that the Russian government wants is one of it most elite spetsnaz operatives in an international effort to be homosexual,” Finka explained. “Its not illegal, yet, but my existence could be considered ‘propaganda.’ I might not just be removed from Rainbow, or Spetsnaz, or the Russian military, I could be jailed.

“Ah.”

“You know what Russian prison is like? I might be able to survive the system if I wasn’t sick, but I am diseased. They’d deny me my medication, not let me stay hydrated or fed or exercised and I’ll...”

“Hey, hey,” Meghan said, quickly drawing Lera into a hug. “I’m sorry, it was just a silly idea.”

“I’m…” she took a deep breath then nodded. “Thank you.”

Meghan kissed her forehead, holding her hands. Lera usually had to be stressed, well, more stressed than usual, to go on such a downward spiral so quickly. Being at such a Pride event, probably, if anyone found out. Finka didn’t believe her own Rainbow Spetsnaz brothers to out her, they were too close, but it was still risky.

“The Soviet Union used to accept openly gay people, did you know that?”

Valkyrie shook her head.

“Not a lot of people do, even in Russia. It was the early years, of course, but they gave gays rights they never had before. But then, of course, the Soviets needed more bodies. Bodies for war, and bodies for work, and of course, they believed gays were the reason that their population wasn’t pumping out babies at a fast enough rate.”

“Oh.”

“It all comes down to child production, doesn’t it? You know this.”

“Unfortunately I do,” Valkyrie said. “Not even just governments but families too. When my grandma found out I was lesbian, she sobbed, crying about how she won’t have any grandbabies from my father’s line. Then she blamed my father for raising me too military, while blaming my mother for letting me compete in high level sports.” She adopted a shrill, tottering grandma voice, ‘Sports always turns girls into dykes. I wanted greatgrandbabies from every child! But you made her want to turn into a boy!”

“Blin.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“My own parents alway knew I would like girls,” she said. “Enough to be surprised and confused when I brought home boyfriends that I was genuinely happy with. They cited my, uh, how you call it, boyishness? Well, I never felt comfortable in the woman’s role and they, knowing what my siblings and I had…, they didn’t really feel a need to pressure us to do anything but stay as healthy and active as possible.”

Meghan slowly began to realize this was turning into much more than a simple sharing of stories, and squeezed her hands in support.

“I never liked being…. I don’t know how to put this. I didn’t like the gendered language used for me. And I never felt when people were talking about women, they were talking about to me as well. Just as I thought the rules and expectations boys are taught growing up applied to me as well. You know, don’t cry, be tough, treat women with respect, fight those who try to push you around. Then I learned of this new concept a couple years ago, someone could be neither. I laughed at it at first but...”

“Lera…” Valkyrie said softly, with a loving smile. “Do you want me to use they/them for you?”

Her… their eyes lit up. “Would you? I mean, I’m not sure just yet, but I would like to try them out. “Non pun intended?”

“Hmm? Oh yes,” they were positively beaming. They were so beautiful.

“Just to see. I mean, I still have to use she and her at work but, just in private.”

“Of course, babe.”

Valkyrie cupped their face and kissed them deeply.

She ended up buying Finka something, a silver bracelet in the colored stones in the nonbinary colors as the setting. Something simple and discreet yet powerful where it mattered.

~~

Montagne had texted the couples to be on their way back to the group when Blitz finally realized he wasn’t just looking like a rainbow, but rather a discontented victim of a rainbow being sick.

“What’s wrong, Schatz?”

The giant man sighed, folding his arms over his chest.

“So… there is something wrong…?”

“If it were any other day, I wouldn’t have minded, but today…”

“Where else could you do this…?”

“It is not the location, it is the look!” he gestured down at himself. “The timing of it!”

“I don’t understand… ok, ja, I can see why I might have gotten a little carried away.”

Montagne raised a glitter encrusted eyebrow.

“Ok, completely carried away.”

“Mmm.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It is not the fun you were having that I have a problem with, I am used to your antics.”

Blitz went pink, and bashful. Like a puppy being scolded.

“And you know I love your antics, ge added quickly. But why of all days,” Gilles trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose, and very nearly getting glitter in his eyes.

“Because… its Pride…”

“Yes, you’ve been saying this the whole time.”

“We can go wash it all off, I’m sorry,” Elias said, crestfallen as he moved past him towards the bathrooms.

Montagne caught him around the chest with his arm just as the rest of the group returned, “Non, it's fine… its fine. Perfection is not needed.”

He saw Doc and Loon quickly fumble for their phones, thankfully behind Blitz’s back. Once they nodded, he guided Blitz back to in front of him. “These past few years I’ve known you, you’ve done nothing but make me happy. Your antics, your jokes, your dedication, your downright sweetness, even the way you tap your helmet during exercises. Even before we started seeing each other, your smile would light up my heart and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Gilles…”

Gilles sank to one knee, pulling out a shining wedding ring from his pocket.

“Will you marry me?”

Elias had clapped his hands over his mouth, unable to process this. Their group, except for the GIGN of course, were surprised and estatic. Valkyrie even exclaimed “So that’s what you French bastards were hiding.”

Blitz still hadn’t answered, his eyes shining.

“Elias?”

“Ja! Natürlich sage ich ja, du großer Dummkopf!”

“I assume that's a…”

Blitz very nearly bowled him over to give him his acceptance kiss. He lifted him up as he stood, Elias straddling his hips and swung them around, a dazzling display as the glitter caught the sunshine.

“I’m sorry I got irritated, I just wanted this to go a certain way,” he breathed when their lips parted.

“Schatz, you could have proposed to me covered in mud and sweat.”

“I know,” he said. “But I still wanted to make an effort. I wanted to do it right.”

“You did,” he said. “Look at you, covered in rainbows, just to make me happy, ja?

“Mmm,” he said as Elias lowered himself back to the ground.

Blitz understood now. Gilles was a traditional romantic after all, wanting the candlelit dinners and picnics at the parks on Sundays. He wanted that to extend to his proposal but Blitz was too excited to have silly fun to notice.

“Hey,” he said. Despite the heat they couldn’t stop embracing. “I love you, you know that?”

“I love you too.”

“If you want,” he whispered. “We can still have your perfect proposal night.”

“Two proposals?”

“Ja, why not? I’ll still be excited.”

Gilles gave it a thought. “I’ll have to make things more romantic between us,” he murmured. “Just to throw you off so you don’t know when its coming.”

“Oooh,” Blitz said, draping his arms over Gilles’s shoulders. “I like the sound of that.”

They dazzled them with another sweeping, showstopping dipped kiss, because of course they did.

“I agree with Lion,” Finka laughed with a grin. “You two are disgusting.”

Blitz laughed into Gilles’s mouth, and flipped her off without looking away.

“Great, now those two set the standard for romantic proposals,” Maverick said.

“Does that mean we’re going to be competing now?” Castle said, perking up.

“I’ll win,” Valkyrie declared. “The rest of you might as well quit now..”

“Pfft, nah, man, if anyone’s winning that it's me.”

“You know, we French have romance in our blood,” Lion said. “I wouldn’t even have to try and I’d win.”

While they dissolved into bickering, the silent ones of their pairs all shared a look, realizing at once what their partners had implied.

Blitz and Monty still had yet to look up from their glitter makeout, oblivious to what they had just started.

[charmspoint]

Beauty of Jujutsu Kaisen women

A very long and gay rant

We all by now know how well Jujustu Kaisen treats it’s women, especially when compared to it’s contemporaries which I won’t mention by name cuz I hate pitting shows against each other but they flashed in your head didn’t they. Jujutsu Kaisen women are some of the most well rounded female characters I’ve seen in shonen for a good while. I often end up disappointed in shonen girls because they are made with cool ideas and massive potential and usually shoved aside in support of the boys in their respective stories. How many times did you wonder ‘why wasn’t this female character included in this mission, her power would be perfect for it’ or ‘why did all the male characters get intense emotional arcs and bloody fights while the girls stood aside and didn’t even get a scrape on them’ or for me the most frequent ‘why does this woman have to have her whole chest out and barely a silver of clothes on to be confident in her body’. Not to say that women who are confident in themselves can’t dress however they want, I’m a rabid supporter of dress in what feels most like you. But I’ll always remember the recap episode of my favorite anime of all time, presented by a female character who was usually buttoned up to the throat. And the recap episode had her going ‘i decided to be confident in my body!!’ and putting on what essentially was a swimsuit. And the thing is I never once got the impression that this character was uncomfortable with her body. She simply dressed how she dressed because it suited her and suited her personality. She always appeared confident to me, highly intellectual, always the calm presence in the cast and the one who worked the hardest and had the best understanding of the situation. And this was in the show I liked and who, aside from that recap episode, had great writing for their female characters. But there are many other shows who couldn’t excuse this with ‘well its just a one time gag’ because the whole confidence of their female characters really consists of them looking as sexy as possible. And while that is one kind of confidence, it does hurt a bit to think this is presented as the only way a woman can be confident in her body, only if she bares it to the world.

And that really brings me to jjk and how goddamn beautiful every female character is while none of them are used for fanservice but all of them are very confident in who they are and what they stand for. I always felt this way about the female characters of jjk but it really struck me with the revel of Maki’s new design and how feral the internet went over it.

Not to be gay on main but god she’s gorgeous.

And it really struck me how traditionally unfeminine she looks. Her hair’s been cut short, her skirt replaced with pants, very prominent scaring on her face, which I’ll talk about in a bit. I feel like most shonen artists would never dare to hurt their female characters in such a way that it left such a big mark on them, something that can’t be hidden away and something that is openly stated won’t heal over. But the confidence she carries herself with, the core strength of Maki that survived the attack when the man who believed himself better than her didn’t, THE OUTFIT, THE BELT, THE CAPE AAA. It makes her look powerful, it makes her look confident, it makes her look as someone who survives and keeps pushing forward no matter what and that’s what makes her look so badass and so gorgeous that both my tumblr and twitter were flooded with Maki art barely an hour after the chapter dropped. It just feels so so powerful to me that Gege added to Maki’s power and badassery by putting more clothes on her instead of stripping her down. He’s just clowning on every single artists who thinks that making women hot means putting them in bikinis' like son this is what peak design looks like.

This is not even mentioning other female characters like Nobara who we just saw in the last ep and who’s nothing if not textbook definition of self assured and confident. 

I love Nobara so much she’s allowed to be both feminin and badass. Remember how important it was to her to get a cute tracksuit to train in? That’s me, like that’s literally ‘I can’t do this thing if I don’t look cute’ mentality that I have. She’s allowed to care about clothes, she’s allowed to like shopping and looking cute and pretty and she’s never once made to feel like her interests somehow make her less or that she needs to give em up to be a badass. She’s never made to be that ‘all girls care about are clothes and accessories’ stereotype. And her love for fashion and looking pretty never translates into dressing reveling. I love Nobara’s style.

These are pretty clothes!!! They are pretty while also being somewhat spunky and playful. They are loose but still flattering to her figure and her general color scheme. They are Nobara! Idk it’s just really nice to see a female character interested in fashion and with a distinct fashion sense that isn’t based on putting on as little clothes as possible. Especially one that isn’t forced to then keep that beautiful look no matter what, never getting a scratch on her face. It’s so nice!

Like even Yuki Tsukumo who’d I’d probs label as Jujutsu Kaisen’s most ‘proud to be hot’ character looks like this.

Look at the way she struts, this woman knows she’s a smoke show and she owns it. In any other series this woman’s tits would be spilling out of that v neck and her legs would be goddamn anywhere. But look at her she looks like such a fuckin lesbian I’m sorry I can’t describe it any other way. The biker jacket, the mesh v neck, I can’t remember what the top she wears in the last pic is called but it’s good, the goddamn fuckin sleeveless turtle neck, her MIND. She’s obviously very confident in the way she looks and you can read that out of her stance and that’s all that’s needed. Her clothes or lack of thereof aren’t meant to signify that she’s confident cuz her body language already does that. Instead, her clothes tell us about her tastes and therefor more about her.

I’m gonna bring this to the end cuz now it’s just turning into gay rambling and I’ve lost all point besides ‘girls pretty’ but I also wanted to say a word about scars. As I said in a lot of shonen I watch girls aren’t allowed to participate in as intense of fights as guys and they especially aren’t allowed to gain any serious scaring DOUBLE ESPECIALLY on their face. Why? Because you don’t want to disfigure some nerds precious waifu now don’t you. JJK gives no fucks here, it looks you in the face and says ‘your waifu is in a nightmare situation she will get fucked up just as everyone else.’ We see this with Maki’s burn scars being clearly stated to be unhealable but even before with Utahime who is immediately introduced with very prominent facial scaring. 

And hopefully we will see it with Nobara too cuz like...

And I absolutely refuse to believe she’s dead ;-; she’s gonna come back n have a badass facial scar guys I swear.

Anyway to sum up

JJK women: very good

Me: very gay

[kaaras-adaar]

Kaaras + Lingerie/Crossdressing

// I wanted to go more in depth about Kaaras and cross dressing in the bedroom. I had a big post about Kaaras and lingerie specific, but I can no longer find it.  First of all, that’s what I want to make clear: this is not something Kaaras does outside of the bedroom, this isn’t something that Kaaras does on a daily basis, it IS a sexual thing. It is something that causes and stirs sexual arousal out of him, not something that he would do on a day to day basis.

Under a cut for obvious reasons.

Cross dressing for Kaaras has nothing to do with identity. He is a cis male. Whilst he’s exceptionally open minded about those who are not cis, Kaaras does consider himself a male and identifies as a man, but he is also very aware of his femininity and need to feel soft. He’s comfortable with his masculinity, and if people were to insult him and call him a “girl” in some kind derogatory way, he’d not be offended. Kaaras believes women are equal to men and should be seen as such. He grew up with women, knows that they can be strong willed and physically strong and adept as well. He does not see softness as “only feminine” nor does he see hardness as “only masculine”. He believes people are PEOPLE, and all that gender stereotype bullshit is exactly that: bullshit. It’s not important to him and he doesn’t really care to think about it (except for equality of course).

However, you do also have to remember that Kaaras grew up around certain ideas and ideals. Even as a sheltered individual, he was subject to Fereldan culture and human customs. That does include certain dress codes.

There’s a vague line between this, because in medieval periods (such as Thedas), things like robes, peasant clothes, frocks and tunics are pretty unisex. This is why it doesn’t really extend to things like that. Kaaras grew up wearing peasant clothes, which were generally a dress. One long item of clothing tied off at the waist (I also have a post about KILT WEARING, too, but I’m not going to go into that here).

Kaaras’ cross dressing is lingerie/undergarment specific. These are clothes that are exclusive to women in a general understanding. These are items specifically labelled for women, because they are shaped for their bodies (underwear, stockings, bras, corsets etc). The idea is to show femininity, to capture it and make one feel, well… ultimately sexy.  

This was something Kaaras found out at a young age. When his father died, he was the only male of the household, between his mother, his adopted younger sister and his mentor. This was an exceptionally difficult time for Kaaras because he was just blooming into his teenage years (his father died when he was 12). It means Kaaras had a really difficult time coming to terms with his body, because he felt different from the women around him. He felt like they wouldn’t understand him, and ultimately, this was when Kaaras began to close himself off to his mother a lot. He began to feel uncomfortable and insecure about himself because he didn’t have any male influence anymore. He already lacked in friends because of him being a qunari, so he really didn’t have anyone to help him discover himself until a later age (that’ll be left for a different post that will go into Kaaras and his alcoholism).

Like a lot of curious children, it did mean Kaaras would sneak into his parent’s room to rummage through the cliches of makeup and underwear. That’s pretty much how Kaaras found out he enjoyed wearing womens clothes. It was innocent enough at first, of course, he was young and not really sexually matured. But it was the foundation of where this ‘kink’ came from.

As an older teenager, Kaaras began to realise that this stirred sexual arousal in him. Especially when he was involved with female lovers for the night. Being drunk gave him the confidence to fool around more, to explore and discover himself without being embarrassed about it. Most of Kaaras’ sexual experience is, unfortunately, based off many drunk nights–until his past lover. That was when Kaaras REALLY got to explore and discover himself.

Kaaras is a complicated personal when it comes to much about him. He’s simple and yet not in many ways. His sexuality is a long, long road of self discovery, pain and chaos, and that’s not all due to the fact that he suffers PGAD (PSAS). There are a lot of contributing factors that one may never think about when they see Kaaras as the man he has grown to become now.

Wearing women’s clothes became something of a dirty little secret that he has been very ashamed to speak about and express, because he had in his head the idea that it is not ‘normal’ for him to enjoy it. Kaaras is a hypocrite in the fact that he is so open and willing to accept OTHERS but never HIMSELF, because he’s grown up with so much self hatred and such a NEGATIVE image of himself, so these are all things that make him feel even worse about himself in the eye of the public.

But lingerie, dressing in women’s underthings, makes him feel gracious, makes him have this idea of soft, makes femininity that he can finally see and feel in himself that no one else can and/or will. This isn’t something he will open up about to just anyone, this is something that he will only expose to someone he trusts will accept him (and even then, he has a lot of fear and shame in the whole thing). This also doesn’t mean Kaaras doesn’t think men can be feminine and beautiful, he does, remember, he just has a lot of internal hate towards himself, and being told that he is an ugly savage oxman all his life doesn’t help with his image issues. Kaaras is a very insecure person, crippling so at times. But his clothes? They speak for him. And that doesn’t just mean the lingerie in the bedroom, but clothes in general help Kaaras EXPRESS himself. They always have. They make him feel stronger, they make him feel professional when needed, they make him feel practical. He often does not make his suffering known, or even his happiness at times, but his clothes are a form of expression for him, which is one of the reasons why he very much agrees with Vivienne that they should LOOK the part if people wish to take them seriously, despite him being a commoner.

Lastly, I should mention while Kaaras certainly enjoys others wearing lingerie in the bedroom, this kink may never involve them. This is something he does for himself, and does not need or require someone else to be involved. If your muse is willing, then that’s certainly great! He would love to be able to express himself and feel sensual in the bedroom with his lover, it’s a real bonus to have that support and care, but Kaaras also is very used to the fact that this is a solo act. Something he enjoys doing in the comfort of his own self.

At the end of the day, this is not something easy for Kaaras. This is something that’s come from a background of confusion, self hate and being sheltered. Even if Kaaras has an exceptionally supportive family, Kaaras struggled to express himself and open up once his father died, shutting his mother out of a lot of his life. His sister only knows by accident, and his mother has only suspected, but does not push her son to speak what he is not comfortable with. When/if she finds out, she would be willing to make Kaaras the most beautiful crossdresser because she’s so supportive of her children.

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

The Many Faces of the Strong Female Character

The much-requested, positive counterpart to my classic “Female Characters to Avoid in Your Writing” and it’s much-later sequel.  

Here, I will discuss some of my favorite fictional ladies and what makes them work so well;  given my rapturous love of women, there will probably be a sequel!  In the meantime, I talk more about portraying female characters here.

Happy writing, everybody!  <3

1.)  The Warrior

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When most people hear “strong female character,” they picture the most popular definition of the term:  a stony-faced, emotionally shallow, conventionally attractive broad who punches and kicks stuff.  She may occasionally shout things like, “I DON’T NEED NO MAN,” while perhaps punching a small baby. 

I decided to start with my wife Diana, because she is the perfect antithesis of this trope.  She isn’t stony, she’s courageous.  She’s unabashed about showing her doubts, hopes, affections, and optimism.  Her love interest never steals her spotlight, but she feels no need to shun romance to appear “strong.”  She’s beautiful, but not sexualized or objectified.

And while most Strong Female Characters™ are ironically reduced to damsels in distress at some point in their own narratives, Diana consistently takes the lead, totally autonomous over her own story.

You can kick ass AND love babies, people.  Joss Whedon, please take notes.

(Gif credit)

Other examples:  Okoye from Black Panther, Furiosa from Mad Max: Fury Road, Rey from Star Wars, and Ser Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones.

2.)  The Comedian

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If you haven’t watched Chewing Gum on Netflix, stop whatever you’re doing and watch it right now.  Its relatively simple premise – a twenty-four-year-old from a fundamentalist Christian household struggles to lose her virginity – is a segway into a hilarious, genuine exploration of human sexuality, relationships, and how we forge our identities.

Brilliantly portrayed by the series’ creator, Michaela Coel, Tracy is essentially that one friend who knows exactly what you’ve been thinking and isn’t afraid to say so.  She is never relegated to a single trope or stereotype.  She’s stumbling, clumsily but enthusiastically, through the life experiences that shape us.  Most importantly, she is allowed to be sexually curious, awkward, aggressive, insecure, and – I can’t stress this enough – hilarious.  The dialogue is infinitely quotable, and endlessly relatable. 

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Watching shows like Chewing Gum makes me realize how few female characters – and even fe wer Black female characters – are portrayed as truly human.  Typically, they’re allowed to be sexy, but not sexual.  They’re allowed to be awkward, but only if it’s cute.  They can be insecure, but only if that insecurity can easily be solved by the affirmations of a male love interest.  And they’re rarely allowed to be the main source of a series’ comedy.  

So remember:  let your female characters be human.  Let them be awkward, funny, sexual philosophers.  It’s easier than you think.  

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Other examples:  Abbi and Ilan from Broad City, Leslie from Parks and Rec, Tina from Bob’s Burgers.

3.)  The Drama Queen

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Watching Riverdale is like hurtling along on a structurally unstable rollercoaster.  It’s utterly insane, a lot of fun, and once you’re on, you can’t stop.

But amidst the explosions of batshit crazy plot points, killer cults, and the existential perplexity of finding yourself attracted to emo Jughead, there are some real gems.  One of these is Cheryl Blossom, and pretty much every plot line surrounding her.

Cheryl is introduced as a fairly one-dimensional, catty mean girl, though the Regina George-esque charisma with which she’s portrayed makes her instantly likable.  Initially, we expect her to be a character we’ll love to hate.

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And yet, within the first few episodes, I was impressed by how layered and complex her motivations were.  Much of contempt towards others was misdirected rage from an upbringing of extreme emotional abuse, and grief over her dead brother -- all portrayed without a Snape-style condonation of said behavior.  By the end of season one, my thoughts were generally, “Oh, crap, I don’t think I can claim to be watching this ‘ironically’ anymore,” and “MORE CHERYL.”

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Season two answered my wish, and then some.  Cheryl was saved from an (impressively conscientiously portrayed) attempt at sexual assault by a pack of her female friends, and her attacker got the shit beat out of him in one of the most cathartic moments of modern television.

To the exaltation of my queer heart, she also came out as a lesbian, in a deeply moving story arc that I never would have expected from this show.  Without spoiling too much, she and her new love interest kissing in front of anti-gay propaganda footage was legitimately one of the most powerful moments I have ever witnessed.

(Gif source)

Before the season was over, she viciously threatened her abusive, homophobic mother while covered in blood, shot a serial killer with a bow and arrow, and joined a gang.  If that’s not gay culture, I don’t know what is.

Oh, how I wish this show was just about her.

Other examples:  Alexis from Schitt’s Creek.

4.)  The Lovable Bastard

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Ah, The Good Place.  I have never experienced such a breath of comedic fresh air.  A new philosophical principle each episode, examined and applied in hilarious and thought-provoking ways.  A complete absence of harmful stereotypes.  Incredibly lovable, three-dimensional, and ever-evolving characters. 

I was considering using my queen Tahani for this list, who externally larger-than-life and internally vulnerable after emotional abuse by her parents.  Also, she’s hilarious.  Everyone and everything in The Good Place is hilarious.  And I also thought about talking about Janet, who is the best character in anything ever, but of course:

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Instead, I’ll be talking about bisexual icon Eleanor, who is something very few female characters get to be:  the lovable bastard.

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Eleanor, when we first meet her, is not traditionally good in any sense of the word.  She turned down a high-paying job because she was expected to be nice to people.  She sold placebos to the elderly, and was great at it.  She was drunken, slovenly, hedonistic, and selfish.  And she’s instantly incredibly likable.

Why and how Eleanor is so enjoyable, even at her very worst, merits an essay all its own.  But in a nutshell:

We empathize with her.  We are introduced to “The Good Place” completely through her eyes.  We are in her shoes.  

The stakes are high.  When we discover that her entry into the good place was a mistake, we want her to be okay.

We come to understand her, and how her terrible childhood shaped her destructive behavior.  

She wants to be a better person, and with time, effort, and character development, we watch her become one. 

Not only is this an amazing lesson in how to endear audiences to your character, it is also infinitely refreshing.  The most famous lovable bastards are all men --  Han Solo, Dr. House, Captain Jack Sparrow, the Man With No Name, et cetera -- but women are rarely afforded the same moral complexity.  If a woman in fiction has done bad things, she’s not usually a lovable bastard.  She’s usually a bitch. 

Eleanor isn’t just a great character.  She conveys an important lesson:  women are people.  People with the same capacity for mistakes, growth, redemption, and love as anyone else.

(Image source)

Other examples: Chloe from Don’t Trust the B*tch in Apartment 23

5.)  The Cinderella

(Gif source)

Yep.  I said it.  Cinderella is a strong female character.

My girl not only survived in an abusive household, she persistently stayed positive.  She worked each day to make the best of an impossible situation, from which she had no means of escape.  That takes an insane amount of courage and tenacity. 

But Caff, I hear you scream, she needed help to escape!!  Well, my imaginary counterargument, so the fuck what?  MOST people need help to escape their abusive situations, and there’s no shame in that.  Accepting help from someone you trust is the best thing you can do in a situation such as that, and implying otherwise is horribly damaging to victims of abuse.  

But she married the prince, you more feebly protest.  Yes!  She did!  She found love and happiness and a great life in a socially influential position!  And that’s an amazing message!

So in the flurry of female warriors, let’s not forget Cinderella, who tells people that their terrible circumstances won’t last forever, to stay hopeful and kind, and that accepting help from a trusted friend can lead to a happy life.  

Cinderella is a bad bitch, and she deserves her happily ever after.

(Gif source)

Other examples:  For some reason, I’m thinking of Sansa from Game of Thrones.  When people try to discredit her as a strong character, they often make similar complaints.  But both, quite fittingly, end up as queens.

[monstaxdirtywonk]

BTS & love (astrology) Hyung line

Since I’m multi-fan, I’m going to make posts for other groups I stan. They won’t be many tho, since this is primarely a MX blog . Enjoy~~

Seokjin (Capricorn Venus, Cancer Mars,Pisces Lilith)

Husband material but we’ve been knew

There is something about that Capricorn stability paired up with motherly Cancer that gives him the ideal family guy package.

Capricorn Venus  by itself might come out as cold or not passionate enough, I guess what we mean by that is they feel emotions, but they might shy away from showing them.

They do have some standards that need to be met.

Once this happens and they find someone they truly want, they settle down so not the type to fuck around.

but they might come out as cold which isn’t the case with our extroverted Jin

Jin is a lovely and very stereotypical Sagittarius, this gives him an ‘open book’ situation. His Mercury is a passionate Scorpio and his Mars an emotional Cancer so the cold part isn’t there anymore.

Many think Jin is the most vanilla, I don’t think so tbh but okay-

He isn’t the freakiest out of them, but I wouldn’t say he is only vanilla either

As a Cancer mars (and pisces lilith) he might as well be attracted to a soft, curvy look

Someone to take care of, but someone to take care of him too

I think that’s a big hidden factor there.

Sagis especially with water can be very caring, but they do want some love too, just rarely ask for it.

It would truly warms his heart if you’d do little things here and there to help him out without him asking. 

Into domestic settings, private that is, despite his sun, this ain’t it here

Very loving and supportive, but not the most romantic or kinky. This isn’t bad, it’s rather good actually, there’s more moderation in his chart.

Yoongi (Aries Venus, Mars Cancer, Lilith Pisces)

Pisces men have that thing

Bless- Anyways xD Yoongi has a very badass outer layer

After all his rising is in Aries (I’m like 98% sure), which gives a tough, cold impression

but then he has a lot of pisces making him baby faced and cute, so this explains his double charm

His Virgo moon gives him brains, virgo moon has BRAINS

but he has emotional intelligence too, plenty of it

underrated opinion but underneath all this badass first impression, there is a VERY gentle lover

Despite his logical moon, he might have a thing with jealousy

It’s not like a possessive one Jimin/Namjoon style, it’s mostly out of his insecure nature

He wants patience and he is patient himself, extremely patient and understanding

CARING (remember before like 4-5 years when in a radio they made a scenario in which he hadn’t call his gf and he said wait i don’t call her daily? yep that softie)

After all just like Jin and Namjoon, this Cancer Mars is very protective of their loved ones and assume a parental role.

He loves a lot and can get very emotional but it’s something that doesn’t hapen often. 

For instance, Jimin, might be a bit more into flirting, falling in love easily etc. Yoongi has this stable earthy moon paired with a private and idealistic Pisces.

which leads to another underrated opinion

YOONgi iSN’t cUddLy

Yes, with friends that is. In a relationship, bitch is all over you 24/7. It’s that privacy I was talking about.

Saving things only for that special someone. 

Hoseok (Pisces Venus, Mars Aquarius, Lilith Aries)

Hey boi how r u doin

not good but okay

I think every single human being is whipped or can get whipped for people with pisces/aquarius combo. I mean Hoseok, Changkyun and Tom Hiddleston has those so...it’s a fact lol.

I think it’s because they have strong water vibes aka soft/otherwordly beauty,sweetness along with an intellectual mind and sex appeal. 

that being said, hoseokie combines just that.

if you want intense sexual experience with lovey dovey situations. here’s your man

Jimin and Namjoon have that duality too but it’s very different

Unlike them. Hoseok has two placements in Aquarius, by far the most carefree independent sign!

The scorpio bois are scorpio bois xD so what’s being independent anyways

Hoseok gives that balance, we independent but not too distant you know?

He can be very clingy, physically that is

because his aquarius still respects boundaries and will keep them there no matter how much he loves someone

does that make him cold? nope not at all

it just gives a more healthy approach to a relationship and kind of takes two extremes of the opossites to the center

but imo his pisces is more apparent when it comes to love

he is a big softie and yes he is probably good at it because he is an aquarius and he is sexy and he is this and he is that but

the most important part is that Hoseokie loves and he loves a lot <3 

plus he has a realll hard time letting go since pisces is a fixed sign so please treat him well he deserves it all <3 

Namjoon (Scorpio Venus, Mars Cancer, Lilith Taurus)

If you are a carefree type looking for a hookup, this ain’t it lol

Carefree and hookups don’t go well with Scorpio

Our leader craves devotion, trust and exclusivity

Not prone to jealousy like Yoongi, Scorpios are straight up possessive.

That’s not bad it’s just not for everyone.

Good thing is that they don’t only demand devotion, they give it back, just as much.

They won’t cheat, they won’t lie and they will have you as the center of their world if you treat them well.

The biggest turn on to Scorpios is trust, if you cheat, you’re gone no matter how much they love you.

Many speculate he has a daddy kink and astrology wise, that’s likely.

Scorpio venus can be dominant and possessive, combined with that cancer mars that gets a ‘parental’ role, we can have such a kink.

A boob guy just like Yoongi and Seokjin.

He can get a bt insecure too, cancer mars might be fragile.

Seokjin saved this with his sagi/aries/capricorn.

Namjoon can’t, in fact it’s even worse with his Virgo side that can get overly critical and turn against themselves.

That’s a side we don’t see often but it’s there.

Instead of finding jealousy hot (you do you still), we can also point out why such reaction occurs, it’s not feeling enough.

Can this change?

No. Scorpios will be possessive no matter what. But it can get better, and most importantly, he can get better. 

(for astrology ships dm me 4-5$)

[kaaras-adaar-a]

Kaaras + Lingerie/Crossdressing

// I wanted to go more in depth about Kaaras and cross dressing in the bedroom. I had a big post about Kaaras and lingerie specific, but I can no longer find it.  First of all, that’s what I want to make clear: this is not something Kaaras does outside of the bedroom, this isn’t something that Kaaras does on a daily basis, it IS a sexual thing. It is something that causes and stirs sexual arousal out of him, not something that he would do on a day to day basis. 

Under a cut for obvious reasons. 

Cross dressing for Kaaras has nothing to do with identity. He is a cis male. Whilst he’s exceptionally open minded about those who are not cis, Kaaras does consider himself a male and identifies as a man, but he is also very aware of his femininity and need to feel soft. He’s comfortable with his masculinity, and if people were to insult him and call him a “girl” in some kind derogatory way, he’d not be offended. Kaaras believes women are equal to men and should be seen as such. He grew up with women, knows that they can be strong willed and physically strong and adept as well. He does not see softness as “only feminine” nor does he see hardness as “only masculine”. He believes people are PEOPLE, and all that gender stereotype bullshit is exactly that: bullshit. It’s not important to him and he doesn’t really care to think about it (except for equality of course).

However, you do also have to remember that Kaaras grew up around certain ideas and ideals. Even as a sheltered individual, he was subject to Fereldan culture and human customs. That does include certain dress codes.

There’s a vague line between this, because in medieval periods (such as Thedas), things like robes, peasant clothes, frocks and tunics are pretty unisex. This is why it doesn’t really extend to things like that. Kaaras grew up wearing peasant clothes, which were generally a dress. One long item of clothing tied off at the waist (I also have a post about kilt wearing, too, but I’m not going to go into that here). 

Kaaras’ cross dressing is lingerie/undergarment specific. These are clothes that are exclusive to women in a general understanding. These are items specifically labelled for women, because they are shaped for their bodies (underwear, stockings, bras, corsets etc). The idea is to show femininity, to capture it and make one feel, well... ultimately sexy.  

This was something Kaaras found out at a young age. When his father died, he was the only male of the household, between his mother, his adopted younger sister and his mentor. This was an exceptionally difficult time for Kaaras because he was just blooming into his teenage years (his father died when he was 12). It means Kaaras had a really difficult time coming to terms with his body, because he felt different from the women around him. He felt like they wouldn’t understand him, and ultimately, this was when Kaaras began to close himself off to his mother a lot. He began to feel uncomfortable and insecure about himself because he didn’t have any male influence anymore. He already lacked in friends because of him being a qunari, so he really didn’t have anyone to help him discover himself until a later age (that’ll be left for a different post that will go into Kaaras and his alcoholism). 

Like a lot of curious children, it did mean Kaaras would sneak into his parent’s room to rummage through the cliches of makeup and underwear. That’s pretty much how Kaaras found out he enjoyed wearing womens clothes. It was innocent enough at first, of course, he was young and not really sexually matured. But it was the foundation of where this ‘kink’ came from. 

As an older teenager, Kaaras began to realise that this stirred sexual arousal in him. Especially when he was involved with female lovers for the night. Being drunk gave him the confidence to fool around more, to explore and discover himself without being embarrassed about it. Most of Kaaras’ sexual experience, is, unfortunately, based off many drunk nights--until his past lover. That was when Kaaras REALLY got to explore and discover himself. 

Kaaras is a complicated personal when it comes to much about him. He’s simple and yet not in many ways. His sexuality is a long, long road of self discovery, pain and chaos, and that’s not all due to the fact that he suffers PGAD (PSAS). There are a lot of contributing factors that one may never think about when they see Kaaras as the man he has grown to become now.

Wearing women’s clothes became something of a dirty little secret that he has been very ashamed to speak about and express, because he had in his head the idea that it is not ‘normal’ for him to enjoy it. Kaaras is a hypocrite in the fact that he is so open and willing to accept OTHERS but never HIMSELF, because he’s grown up with so much self hatred and such a NEGATIVE image of himself, so these are all things that make him feel even worse about himself in the eye of the public.

But lingerie, dressing in women’s underthings, makes him feel gracious, makes him have this idea of soft, makes femininity that he can finally see and feel in himself that no one else can and/or will. This isn’t something he will open up about to just anyone, this is something that he will only expose to someone he trusts will accept him (and even then, he has a lot of fear and shame in the whole thing). This also doesn’t mean Kaaras doesn’t think men can be feminine and beautiful, he does, remember, he just has a lot of internal hate towards himself, and being told that he is an ugly savage oxman all his life doesn’t help with his image issues. Kaaras is a very insecure person, crippling so at times. But his clothes? They speak for him. And that doesn’t just mean the lingerie in the bedroom, but clothes in general help Kaaras EXPRESS himself. They always have. They make him feel stronger, they make him feel professional when needed, they make him feel practical. He often does not make his suffering known, or even his happiness at times, but his clothes are a form of expression for him, which is one of the reasons why he very much agrees with Vivienne that they should LOOK the part if people wish to take them seriously, despite him being a commoner. 

Lastly, I should mention while Kaaras certainly enjoys others wearing lingerie in the bedroom, this kink may never involve them. This is something he does for himself, and does not need or require someone else to be involved. If your muse is willing, then that’s certainly great! He would love to be able to express himself and feel sensual in the bedroom with his lover, it’s a real bonus to have that support and care, but Kaaras also is very used to the fact that this is a solo act. Something he enjoys doing in the comfort of his own self.

At the end of the day, this is not something easy for Kaaras. This is something that’s come from a background of confusion, self hate and being sheltered. Even if Kaaras has an exceptionally supportive family, Kaaras struggled to express himself and open up once his father died, shutting his mother out of a lot of his life. His sister only knows by accident, and his mother has only suspected, but does not push her son to speak what he is not comfortable with. When/if she finds out, she would be willing to make Kaaras the most beautiful crossdresser because she’s so supportive of her children. 

[thecorteztwins]

@esteicy-blog “I'm convinced that they didn't even check the wiki page of her comic version when writing her in the mcu because movie Mantis has absolutely nothing to do with what you describe.“ I haven’t see the MCU movie, but I have read a bit about that version of Mantis and they sound NOTHING alike to me either! Comics Mantis is: - Not an alien. She’s a completely human woman with a Vietnamese mother and a German father. She was raised by Kree priests in a temple, but that temple was in Vietnam, not space, and then when she was an adult they wiped her memories so she remembered only growing up in Saigon. She never goes to space until her destiny as the Celestial Madonna is revealed. She MARRIES one of the Cotati aliens, but she isn’t one herself. Which means I think GotG has more POC who are playing aliens than actual POC characters? - Her powers are very different. As I understand it, movie!Mantis is a generic empath. Comics book Mantis had what she described as “empathy with nature” often calling it simply “empathy” for short, but what it actually was was just like...this very vague and generic psychic sensitivity. She wasn’t exactly a real telepath, nor a true empath, nor a precog, but she could feel “vibrations” that gave her clues if something was wrong, get a general sense of a person in a vague sort of way, and just generally gave her really good intuition. For instance, this one time a cop with a split personality had his other personality take over, and Mantis sensed SOMETHING was wrong because his “vibrations” changed, she just couldn’t say WHAT was going on. But more than her psychic sensitivity, was her martial arts prowess. Mantis has such martial skill that she’s able to grapple with Thor and WIN---quickly win, at that! At one point ALL THE AVENGERS try to physically restrain her, and she TOSSES THEM THE FUCK OFF (again, including Thor) She also once kicks Pietro in the face WHEN HE’S RUNNING! Again, this woman is HUMAN, she just has really extreme training by alien priests. - Her personality. Again, I haven’t seen the movie, but she seems kind of...cute and fragile and ditzy and naive from what I understand? Comics Mantis is intelligent, fearless, and very much NOT naive. She’s extremely assertive and serious, she’s not shy or giggly at all. She’s also framed as very intelligent and logical, though that’s more something the writing tries to convince us of than what’s actually on the page. She’s not stupid AT ALL, just we’re told she’s a brilliantly logical deductive mind on par with the Vision, when actually she just mostly makes guesses based on her intuition powers but calls it deduction. She’s definitely clever though, both in a fight and in terms of getting what she wants from people and situations, and how to best utilize her powers. She’s also never unsure in her abilities either; she’s so confident in them that in fact she defends them to others when they think her psychic intuition is wrong, or that she didn’t measure her strike correctly, and BOTH times she’s proven correct. But she’s also not arrogant about her skills either, and in fact demures from compliments. Mantis doesn’t tolerate anyone underestimating her abilities, including allies, and she trusts in herself completely...but she also doesn’t need praise from others either, and doesn’t seem to want it. And the story supports her, there is never a moment where she’s proven wrong in this. Mantis is NOT a character who EVER struggles with control of her powers. Mantis can be great. For instance, when she’s reuniting with the Avengers after having been away in space with the whole Celestial Madonna thing, they’re all super happy to see her. Silverclaw, a new Avenger (who is also indigenous Latina) stands off the side and is left out, because she doesn’t have any connection to Mantis. Mantis notices this, and she immediately reaches out to Silverclaw, putting her arm around her, saying that “Yes, they gather around this one. But this one would rather gather around you.” and explains that she was the new girl once and the Avengers supported her, and she wants to support Silverclaw too. It’s very sweet! Mantis absolutely can be a big jerk. The way she meets The Avengers is that some guys are being creeps to Wanda on the street, and Mantis jumps out to kick their asses and defend Wanda. This is great. But it’s not coincidence. Mantis wasn’t just passing by. She and her boyfriend the Swordsman (a former Avenger) want to join, and had come to the US for the express purpose of joining. So she was probably following Wanda and just jumped out at the moment she knew would make her look best to Wanda, so that Wanda would vouch for her as an Avenger. Mantis shows this capacity to be manipulative other times as well, and in fact in the end she seems to have been just using the Swordsman as a way to get America and be an Avenger, even though she claims to the Avenger that she doesn’t care about being one and just wants to be next to “her man”. She acts like the typical “submissive Asian girl who loves her big strong white boyfriend” at first but the minute she decides that she’d rather have the Vision, who is actively involved with Wanda, she starts pursuing him. She’s a huge jerk to Swordsman and Wanda in the process, insulting the both of them as being weak and not good enough for her or Vision, at first behind their backs, and then to their faces, she and Wanda get pretty catty. Mantis is very adamant that she wants a strong, heroic, INTELLIGENT man, and the Swordsman falls short for her. Which is her choice, but the way she handles it is very shitty to him (not to mention going behind his and Wanda’s backs trying to seduce Vision). He tries more than once to have a discussion with her about it, and she evades him, avoiding giving him any kind of straight answer when he asks her very straightforward questions. It’s not towards the end that she finally coldly dismisses him and tells him he’s not enough for her and that she doesn’t care for him any longer. Even when he’s dying after saving her and she’s begging him to live and apologizing, she’s still frankly kind of a selfish dick about it? She says she used him and that it was wrong and that she sees that now, but she says he needs to live so she can make things up to him. So he needs to live so SHE can feel better, basically, and she’s only feeling remorse in the first place because he sacrificed himself for her. Even after death, he can’t catch a break---she says she prefers the version of him that is actually the Elder Cotati possessing his dead body (I’m still not over that) because its smarter than the original Swordsman was. Ouch. But Mantis isn’t all bad for this! She’s not actually demonized for it at all, to be honest, nor is she punished by the narrative. Her story with the Swordsman is honestly more just a way to get her to the Avengers, then she quickly overtakes him in terms of importance as a character. It’s easy to forget he’s there most of the time compared to her, and he’s got rid of the moment he’s no longer really needed, and the next chapter of her story can begin as she’s revealed to be The Celestial Madonna. It’s the reverse of the typical male and female roles in a story, ESPECIALLY for a white man and an Asian woman. He’s HER prop, he’s the one devoted to her, he’s the one who is cast aside and dies for her as a part of HER story. Mantis also evolves. When she comes back from her journey as the Madonna, she’s straight with the Avengers about why she’s come to them, and she asks directly for their help, there’s no manipulative games. Wanda and her still have a bit of an issue on Wanda’s end, Wanda understandably still doesn’t like seeing her be close with Vision, but BOTH of them work at having a better relationship---Wanda in fact goes out of her way to tell Mantis that she and Vision are separated now, so it’s fine if he hooks up with Mantis (which he does) And Mantis hasn’t said an unkind word about Wanda in a very long time. Being a mother brings a whole new dimension to her. Ben Grimm cracks about how any “red-blooded American kid” would have a hard time calling her “Mom” due to her sex appeal, and Mantis rightly points out that people don’t often think of her as a mother---which is a small but VERY true commentary on how people can’t seem to conceive of motherhood and sexiness in the same woman outside the MILF stereotype---but she is, and she is a very devoted one, and she’s a great mom while also having sex with the Vision even while she also has a “mate” in the Elder Cotati, and she’s not portrayed as wrong for this in any way; she and the Elder Cotati seem poly I guess. And being a mother, being the Celestial Madonna, gave her a bunch of additional new powers, she’s stated to be a GODDESS now, and she ends up being able to TAKE ON THANOS and she WARNS him---”This one is life, Thanos, but hurt her son and she will kill you. That is a promise.” So, she’s a very well-rounded character, she’s very assertive and confident woman with every right to be, while not being arrogant. She’s got some really nasty flaws, she can be cruel and catty when it comes to romance, manipulative when it comes to achieving her goals when there’s not even any need to be, but she also matures and develops. She’s a great mom who also has an active sex life and nothing is shown as wrong about it. She starts out with admittedly very racist trappings---the mysterious seductive martial artists Dragon Lady from the Far East who seems devoted to her white boyfriend--but grows beyond it in spades. I can see why a modern movie might want to shed SOME of that baggage...but making her into a cutesty-poo side character with nearly all her incredible canon powers gone, while ALSO erasing her ethnicity and cultural identity, doesn’t seem at all a step in the right direction to me.

[aion-rsa]

Anya Taylor-Joy Infiltrates the Boys’ Club of Chess in The Queen’s Gambit

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Netflix’s period piece miniseries The Queen’s Gambit spans a decade in the life of fictional chess prodigy Beth Harmon (Anya Taylor-Joy), a wunderkind whose natural aptitude for anticipating her opponents’ moves is blunted by her addiction to the tranquilizer pills with which she credits her wins. Following gawky teenage Beth through her early tournaments in the 1950s to the aloof redheaded beauty wowing spectators in Europe in the ’60s—and leaving a trail of defeated men in her wake—the seven-hour series was faced with the challenge of making every chess scene equally thrilling to enthusiasts and non-fans alike.

The key, Taylor-Joy explains to Den of Geek, was in having every single game be recognizably unique. “[Series creator and director] Scott [Frank] and I would have a lot of conversations about both the chess and the addiction scenes, and how we were going to make each of them different and each of them fresh,” she says. “Because this show is seven and a half hours, and if a lot of that is the same chess game, people are gonna wander off.”

The cast and crew imbued each chess match with specific emotion, matching Beth’s personal and professional growth, and unique physicality. For the latter, that involved bringing in chess consultant Bruce Pandolfini (who also consulted on Walter Tevis’ 1983 novel on which the series is based) and grandmaster Garry Kasparov to plan out the series’ many games down to every gambit and checkmate. Because neither Taylor-Joy nor her on-screen competitors had played much chess prior to shooting, treating the gameplay as choreography helped them pick up the moves.

“I saw the whole thing as a dance,” explains Taylor-Joy, a former ballet dancer. “I saw learning the choreography as dance, but just with your fingers.”

Costar Harry Melling, who plays one of Beth’s early rivals Harry Beltik, agrees that the authenticity was found in the tactile movements of the pieces themselves.

“One of the most important things in terms of the choreography was the feel of the pieces,” he says, “about how you take pieces—whether you slide it across the board or whether you lift it up or put it down. All of these little details [are] what makes it look like you’ve been doing it your entire life.”

“It’s like riding a horse,” says Thomas Brodie-Sangster, whose chess champion Benny Watts is known for a distinctive leather duster and laconic attitude. “It doesn’t really matter if you can ride a horse, it’s more about if you can get on the horse and get off the horse and look cool doing it. That’s what people pick up on; it shows that you actually look comfortable doing it.”

While Beltik and Benny are as fictional as Beth, the actors were encouraged to draw inspiration from current and historical grandmasters on which to base their characters’ games. “Every game in the show is based on a real game,” Brodie-Sangster says. “If you’ve got a really keen eye, you can probably recognize games from across the history of chess.” He modeled Benny’s moves after Bobby Fischer, while Melling devoted a lot of time to watching current World Chess Champion Magnus Carlsen play.

“That was really fascinating,” Melling says, “because I knew nothing about chess whatsoever—so [I was] starting from ground zero, really, working out how these people operate, what makes them tick.”

Equally important as the dance steps were the dance partners. Taylor-Joy credits the originality of each sequence to who Beth is playing at that moment in time—like Townes (Jacob Fortune-Lloyd), a hunky competitor who flusters young Beth. “The first time that Beth plays Townes, it’s the first time that she’s ever liked somebody that she’s playing opposite against,” she says, “so she wants to win, but she doesn’t necessarily enjoy seeing him crumble, which is a new experience for her.”

Taylor-Joy soon found the game as dramatic as Beth does. “For her, it is life or death,” she says. “This is her intellect being challenged, and her intellect is the only thing she has any faith in. So I definitely felt the pressure, and then—whenever she’s playing with somebody—the power high of that.”

It’s no surprise that Beth gets a power high from defeating her male opponents, as it is a very insular boys’ club into which she enters as a dowdily-dressed teenager in the ’50s. For her first match with Beltik at the Kentucky Chess Championship, Melling says, the former is very much in his element, “and then she sort of enters his sphere, and he becomes completely in awe of her talent, and he knows that she’s a better player than him. His bubble gets burst very quick.”

Though Benny saunters into their first match together, Brodie-Sangster acknowledges that there is also an immediate spark with Beth. “Her presence is a bit of a surprise, and a bit of an enigma for him,” he says. “She is very much in a man’s world and doesn’t really look like she really fits in there; neither does he, and I think there’s a kind of connection there.”

Beth grows up in the world of chess, both as an aspiring grandmaster and as a young woman. Taylor-Joy had a blast playing so many different versions of Beth, though she laughs recalling how Frank initially asked her how young she thought she could play. Fourteen or fifteen was her answer—“eight, you’re gonna have to get another actor to do that one”—and so she portrays Beth from her inelegant teenage years through to her mid-twenties.

Over the course of the series, we witness Beths who are alternately brilliant and awkward, shy and sexy, on top of the world and extremely vulnerable. “Because [the show] takes its time and because you do grow with her, you as an audience are allowed insight into why she is the way she is,” Taylor-Joy says. “You see the things that shape her, and you see her grow from it, and you understand why she’s grown in that direction.” 

To move between those many phases, she would devise her own backstories for the different Beths: “She starts off walking very clumsily and awkwardly and almost side-to-side, and then I was like, ‘Oh, and this is the first time she’s ever seen an Audrey Hepburn movie’ and she starts wearing the black pants and the turtleneck and starts standing differently, if a boy’s around. And just trying on different personalities, as I think we all do, especially in that age range, and probably into our adult life. It was really fun.”

In contrast to her male opponents and love interests who inhabit the same sphere, the two key women in Beth’s life exist almost entirely outside of the chess world. Fellow orphan Jolene (Moses Ingram) shows her the ropes at the orphanage, much like an older sister, but resentment stretches between them when Beth is adopted and Jolene is left behind.

“It’s all in how they’ve grown up with each other and gotten to know each other,” says the theatrically trained Ingram of her first on-screen role and the difficult emotional history between Beth and Jolene. “I think people that truly love one another certainly get the very best, but also the very worst, of each other. When you can see someone that deeply, you can’t help but be locked in to one another.”

Complicating their relationship is the fact that preteen Jolene is the one who introduces eight-year-old Beth to the tranquilizer pills to which she immediately becomes addicted. “Jolene was just teaching her how to cope in the only way that Jolene has learned how to cope,” Ingram explains, but that simple act irrevocably shapes Beth’s approach to chess for the next decade. Initially used to “even out” the orphans’ disposition (and then later banned for their habit-forming tendencies), the pills help Beth envision a chessboard in the shadows of her bedroom ceiling at night. Taylor-Joy says she would track Beth’s mental and emotional state not just by the different matches, but by how the ghostly chess pieces appear to her: “Sometimes they’re familiar, sometimes they’re very threatening, it all very much depends on where she’s at.”

Unfortunately, where Beth is often at is relying too much on the pills to help her focus during chess games, believing herself unable to triumph when not in her altered state. Her dilemma is complicated by the fact that the tranquilizer pills come back into her life care of her adoptive mother Alma Wheatley (Marielle Heller), who initially comes off as a stereotypical ’50s housewife who can’t function without “Mother’s Little Helper.” (Though the pills go by the fictional name Xanzolam in the series, they seem to be a cousin of Azolam and other benzodiazepines.)

In the past four years, Heller has been best known behind the camera, as the director of such celebrated films as The Diary of a Teenage Girl (for which she also wrote the screenplay), Can You Ever Forgive Me?, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and What the Constitution Means to Me. While Heller had always referenced her history as an actor as “part of my superpower as a director,” she says that she began to feel like “a fraud” when directing stars like Tom Hanks or Matthew Rhys. “I started to feel like, ‘Do I even remember what that feels like, to be an actor, to be asked to do these things, to be asked to go into these certain emotional places?’”

So when Frank, a long-time friend, invited her to join the series and spend a few months shooting in Berlin, Heller saw it as the perfect opportunity to, in her words, “keep my street cred as a director who was an actor.” As a director who seeks out projects about the uncomfortable things that people don’t talk about, Heller found that Alma embodied those same sensibilities: “She’s someone who has a lot of pain in her past, and that makes her most interesting; she’s not some version of a ’50s housewife that doesn’t feel real. So much of what I try to do as a director is to tap into that thing that has made somebody the way they are.”

Despite mother and daughter’s initial friction, as Beth carves out her niche in the chess world, and Alma begins accompanying her on her more glamorous tournaments, the older woman is inspired to revisit her own long-abandoned dreams of devoting her life to a creative pursuit. “For Alma,” Heller says, “she had this dream deferred. She was somebody who wanted to be a pianist and artist and never could, and that’s a pain that I feel is very human, and I totally connected to.”

What’s remarkable about The Queen’s Gambit is that each of its female characters experiences a different and specific struggle for the time period. “Scott did that really beautifully,” Ingram says of playing adult Jolene, advocating for change during the Civil Rights movement while Beth is moving up through the ranks of the chess world. “He didn’t let us forget what point in time we were in the world—we’re in the ’60s, in the smack-dab [middle] of civil unrest, because people aren’t being treated fairly. And I loved that Jolene is out front and being a crusader, being a champion for change, when very clearly all she’s known is white people her whole life. So it was beautiful to see that she’s found herself later, in changing the world—trying to, at least.”

In that endeavor, Jolene describes herself as a radical, though Ingram also feels that the word was a fitting theme for the series overall.

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“I think it’s radical that Beth, as a woman, is this far into the chess world at this point in time,” she says. “It’s unheard of that she’s there, and everyone’s shocked by it. It’s definitely a story of radical love, and radical faith.”

The Queen’s Gambit premieres October 23 on Netflix.

The post Anya Taylor-Joy Infiltrates the Boys’ Club of Chess in The Queen’s Gambit appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[autolenaphilia]

The Cybersix comics

So now i’ve read most Cybersix comics that are available in English scanlations. Mainly Pharmadan’s stuff. 

And it is very different from the cartoon adaptation previously reviewed here, very different indeed.

Anyway, the comics were created by Argentinian creators Carlos Trillo (scripts) and Carlos Meglia (art), in the early 1990s. And yes, i do think of them as Carlos & Carlos or the the two Carloses.

The premise is one i recognize from the cartoon adaptation. It is about the superhero Cybersix, a product of genetic engineering that has rebelled against her evil creator and fights the other products of his mad science, led by his clone son José.Her cover as a male literature school teacher named Adrian. She finds a friend in Lucas, the school’s biology teacher, with who she also sexual/romantic tension. Her allies include another product of the villain’s mad science, Data-7, who has the body of a panther and Julian, a street urchin she adopted.

But the approach the comic book source material took to this is very different. The cartoon tv show is meant for children, even if it is on the darker side for such things. The comic is clearly meant for adults, and has a transgressive attitude with lots of violence and sex. And it is still almost 30 years later very shocking and offensive, it certainly was to me and I still kinda liked it. The word “problematic” has been much abused, but it still applies.

You could compare it to something out of the 90s “dark age” of American super hero comics, but to me the tone reminded me of artistic, provocative and very sexualized European comics, like something out of Métal Hurlant.

I’m therefore going to leave the rest of this review under a cut. Also it is getting kinda long. This might be a good point to put out some content warnings, ignore them at your own risk.

Content warning:: Discussions of: violence, racism, nazism, racist caricatures, sexualization of women, prostitution mention and (most disturbingly) sexual themes involving underage people (ick)

(most of this applies to the comic if you decide to read it, it can be worth checking out, but replace “discussion” and “mention” with just depiction, so be prepared for that.)

For one thing, the villain is clearly a nazi scientist who escaped from Germany to South America after the war. He is even named Von Reichter (the cartoon goes with Von Richter). This gives the comic a strong political edge. I don’t know exactly how controversial Argentina’s former status as a haven for escaped Nazis is in that country. But it probably is very controversial. Taking that subject in a critical manner might very well have been a genuinely brave move on part of the creators.

There is also the violence you might expect from a superhero comic. José is a particularly brutal villain this time around. Although Cybersix is remarkably non-violent. When she draws the sustenance she needs vampire-like from Von Reichter’s creations, she avoids killing them.

Concerning Cybersix’s gender, the comic doesn’t have the ambiguity of the cartoon. This time, it’s clear what her gender identity is, Cybersix is a woman.

Her male identity is merely a disguise. Adrian Seidelman is a person who dies in a car accident who looks kinda like Cybersix, who has no legal status, and therefore she decides to steal his identity.

Cybersix remains an interesting character, but i frankly prefer the ambiguity of the cartoon.

Her questioning of her own humanity due to her origins was also in the comic and is a strong theme in her internal monologue here.

Interestingly from a gender perspective, she has this need to prove to herself that she is not just human, but specifically a woman.

II is hard to avoid the subject of sexuality when talking about this comic, for it is almost omnipresent here. Cybersix is a very sexualized character. Her costume design is far from the worst example in comics, but like so many superheroines still designed with titillation in mind.

I found it hilarious that the comic’s actual explanation for the costume is that Cybersix stole it from the wardrobe of a literal sex worker. (the reason Cybersix broke into her home is that she was actually a Von Reichter creation that had infiltrated human society).

But this comic goes beyond most american comics and actually shows Cybersix naked surprisingly often. Her relationship with Lucas gets fairly explicit. If you find the crop of these panels odd sometimes, it’s because I’m trying to avoid showing something that breaks tumblr guidelines.

But the sexualization of Cybersix is actually a minor problem. The nude panels of her are almost quaint, like watching an old movie from the 70s which doesn’t bother to cutaway when a couple gets undressed. It isn’t really that disturbing, especially compared to the creepy sexuality in the rest of the comic.

I didn’t mention Lori in my review of the cartoon. She is one of Adrian’s students who in the cartoon has a crush on him. That is kinda a disturbing theme in itself, but in the cartoon it is no big deal, because it is fairly toned down. In the comic, she is much, much worse.

She is obsessed with Adrian and very explicitly wants to have sex with him. Remember, Lori is a teenage schoolgirl. She also doesn’t care much for the concept of consent. For example, she mails Adrian her nudes unsolicited, and that is about the least worst thing she does. I’m not saying that isn’t terrible in itself, it is just that Lori does way worse things in this comic. You can understand this gets very uncomfortable to read about very quickly.

To be fair, while the trope of the sex-obsessed woman is often a male fantasy, it is very possible that Lori is supposed to be disturbing, rather than sexy. She is even drawn in a rather grotesque manner.

José is even worse. He has only the body of a child, but the mind of a man, including sexually. It isn’t nearly as prominent part of his character as it is with Lori, but this also becomes disgusting rather quickly, for obvious reasons. And then Lori and José meet and do it, oh my god. Although José’s sexuality is almost certainly meant to be creepy.

(because the world is full of people who can’t read properly I probably need to say: no, i don’t support pedophilia even if I think this comic also has its positive sides. Also, even though I can’t really speak for them and they have both passed away long ago, I’m pretty sure Carlos & Carlos didn’t support pedophilia either, if you can even call what horrors that go on in this comic that. Depiction in fiction doesn’t equal endorsement and all that.

This might be obvious from everything I written, but i have seen bad misreadings of what people write and the resulting misinformation spread so quickly on the internet, that writing out the obvious might be necessary. )

I must also talk about the depiction of race in this comic, which is odd. There are two important characters here, who are for lack of a better word, racialized.

One is a black man who saves Cybersix from Von Reichter when she was a child. She regards him as her father. The other is Miao Yashimoto, a Japanese private detective. His sister is kidnapped by Von Reichter, who forces Yashimoto to act against Cybersix, but he eventually becomes her ally.

Now describing them here, it doesn’t sound bad at all. That’s because their personality and role in the story isn’t the problem, it is how they are drawn. They, especially Yashimoto are very much racist caricatures. Yashimoto even has the stereotypical buckteeth. I won’t show you for obvious reasons, but you can always look up this comic yourself.

What is odd about this is that the intent clearly isn’t hateful. These are both heroic characters and the comic has a more or less explicit anti-racist message. A nazi is the villain for a reason. It is just that the creators clearly don’t realize the way Meglia drew these characters is not appropriate.

What is even weirder that Yashimoto was adapted into the cartoon, complete with buckteeth. And that was a show was made in Canada in 1999. Very strange.

Overall, the comic is very different from the cartoon and I have no idea why they picked this edgy adult comic as source material for.a tv show for children, but they did. It is surprisingly faithful to the comic in many ways. The premise is pretty much the same, only it is executed in a very different, child-friendly manner. I would argue that the cartoon is in many ways more enjoyable and accessible than the comic. The attempts of the comic to provoke its audience are often not successful, or maybe rather too successful.

As you can probably tell, my feelings on this comic are complex. I care not for the creepy sexuality or the hamfisted attempts to handle race. So I don’t know if I can recommend this comic. You do need a strong stomach for all this.  But despite all that, there is still much to like about this comic  The art is great; very evocative and atmospheric.

And the writing can be that too. Cybersix is still a great character. Her origin story, her existential angst and her difficult love story with Lucas are just as compelling if not more than in the cartoon.

Sadly, this comic is not widely available in English.The scanlations made or collected by Pharmadan is the most extensive and what I read so far. There is a person here on tumblr, who tried to continue scanlating them  but they seem to have fallen prey to tumblr’s asinine content rules.and doesn’t seem to have been able to go elsewhere yet.

I’ll leave you with my favourite panel from the comic:

[fairydust-stuff]

Wendy Darling Embodiment of Motherhood

Here’s the thing ,I have never been a big fan of Wendy Darling from JM Barrie’s classic novel Peter Pan. Not only is she a cocktail of every bad stereotype about Victorian women casually thrown into a blender to make the ultimate Grimm’s fairy tale heroines are more bad ass then you smoothie. But Wendy is just straight up the most boring character in Peter Pan. That being said she does play a very important role in Peter Pan. Also it’s gotten the point where I’m a bit tired of seeing this idea that the Never land ladies have nothing to offer. If we don’t change everything about them or let’s just leave them out entirely trend via Hollywood. Seriously when is the last time Tink got more than a cameo and I’m not talking about the sugary princess clone Disney created from her mutilated body. Anyway I want to take a look Wendy Darling how she works, how she doesn’t work what she embodies and how she’s been portrayed in various adaptations.

First let’s take a look at some themes. Peter pan is at its core a coming of age story about accepting the inevitability of growing up. However Wendy as a point of view character is kind of an odd choice for this theme. In the original novel Wendy brings a flower to her mother who declares “Why can’t you stay like this” Then the narrator proceeds to talk about how Wendy knew she must grow up. So we already have a character who accepts the fact she must grow up on page one. In fact Wendy doesn’t run away to Never land as much as take a holiday, and to be fair John and Michel suffer from the same problem. Honestly I think the closest thing we get to a character arch in the novel is George Darling who is a seriously underrated character in my opinion. So Wendy just never struggles with growing up. However another theme of Peter Pan is motherhood and oh boy does Wendy fit into that.

“She used to come to me in my and I’d say pretty mother, now she has come and I’ve shot her” Tootles laments after thinking he shot and killed Wendy. Even Hook want to take Wendy to be the mothers of himself and his crew in typical pirate fashion coveting what Peter Pan and the lost boys have Wendy becomes a treasure for them to steal. Smee when carrying Wendy even promises “I’ll save you if you promise to only be my Mother” Every boy and man child in Never land craves a mother and want Wendy to fill the position. Wendy taking on the role turns her into a kind of ideal in the eyes of everyone in Never land even her own brothers get in on the treating her as the perfect mom.

In fact Wendy only gets to be a little girl in the narrative when Hook offers his hand to her and she takes it and only because the narrative felt the need to defend her submission to her own capture. But looking back that may very well be the point when you look at Wendy and Peter’s relationship without the shipping googles it’s actually quite interesting. You’ve got two pre teen’s on two different wave lengths. Wendy states in the novel “Peter what are true feelings towards me?” and is displeased with Peter’s answer “That of a devoted son” this seems up their relationship perfectly. Wendy uses the role of mother to try to basically become Peter’s wife something which he is deeply uncomfortable with needing constant reassurance that playing an adult couple is “ Only make believe” now whether or not Peter is flat out not interested or scared of his own feelings is up for debate. I personally lean toward the former because Peter is constantly surrounded by busty topless mermaids who like to flirt with him. So if he hasn’t had his sexual awakening yet it’s not happening ever, but the point is Peter uses the reaffirmation of Wendy as Mother to keep her at a distance. When Wendy returns home Miss Darlings offers to adopt Peter which he refuses. This highlights the fact when given the chance to have an actual mother he doesn’t want one.

Wendy is a reflection of Peter’s warped relationship with motherhood. He confesses to Wendy that he did at one point did return to his mother only to find the window barred and “There was another little boy sleeping in my bed!”  It could be argued Peter’s desire to stay a little boy forever actually steam from the fear of abandonment and being replaced. This shapes Peter’s relationship with Wendy in sense he wants a mother he can actually control. One who never makes him feels too grown up or who challenges him or his choices in a meaningful way. This shows that motherhood is important and that without a proper mom boys will never truly grow into men.

Wendy plays a similar role to the lost boys only she actually ends up helping them. While the lost boys clearly already have mommy craving’s Wendy gives them a taste of what having a mom is actually like or at least what an ideal mom from a Victorian upper middle class family structure would be like. So when Wendy wants to go home the lost boys who getting a taste of what their missing decides to go with her. Where they get adopted into the Darling Family and grow into respectable members of society who all get boring office jobs in the prolog which completely contrast their colorful energetic personalities, moving on. Wendy acts as kind of encouraging benevolent guide for the lost boys and Peter her inevitable goal being to encourage to move beyond the superficial trappings of childhood and take a step forward into adulthood. Peter is the failure, deficient as the novel itself states but the lost boys are a triumph of the power of proper maternal nurturing.

Wendy Darling has appeared in various adaptations and Spin offs though I’m mostly going to focus on Movies and TV because most of the Peter Pan book retellings where Wendy plays a key role just do not fill me with any positive feelings. And I want to mostly focus on the good today with some casual snark thrown in.

So let’s start with Wendy from the 2003 Peter Pan Live Action adaptation. I love this version it makes changes from the novel while still paying homage by using actual lines from the book. Though I have very mixed feelings about 2003 Wendy.

The movie heavily leans into the annoying I’m not like other girls trope. Here Victorian lady Wendy turns fairy tales into gore fests, and has an interest in sword play and pirates. I’m not saying girls from that era can’t have those interests but it just feels like their Wendy is the product of listening to too many focus groups not to mention she learns to be an expert sword fighter who can go toe to toe with adults after five seconds with Peter. And what is with the sudden unexplained blood thirst? Where did that come from?

Though I do like how the film unlike the novel actually gave Wendy an arch. Wendy’s aunt is mortified at her niece’s interest in becoming a novelist who travels the world.  She insists Wendy’s parents separate Wendy from her brothers and allow her to tutor, Wendy to teach her how to be a proper lady.   They also have a school teacher shame Wendy for drawing a picture of Peter flying above her bed. This seems to be subtext for the Victorian shaming of sexual expression from girls as dirty and shameful. This actually makes Wendy feel like her life is changing way too fast and it scares her. Since she is twelve and her family is already talking about marriage prospects.  While the scene where Peter and her meet is pretty much played like in the novel. There’s the added moment of Peter whispering in Wendy’s ear “ Forget them Wendy Forget them all come with me and we’ll never ever have to think about grown up things again” which unlike the novel frames Wendy as running away from growing up.

Then she develops a crush on Peter Pan and this being Hollywood they go with the scared of his own feeling interpretation. I guess her whining and screaming his name for a day was just too sexy to resist.  Wendy contemplates joining Hook’s crew because when your crush rejects you validation by pirate man children is good salve for your wounds. But then realizes she can’t remember her mother and much like the novel becomes scared that her and her brothers have forgotten their parents. Then they all get kidnapped by the pirates and Hook and Peter have a show down which is way better than the novel because here Hook attacks Peter’s abandonment issues and actually brings him to his knees. But then Wendy kisses Peter and he gains the strength to defeat Hook. Basically the implication is Wendy realizes growing up is ok because romantic love is a thing. Hey, I didn’t say it was a great arch but it’s more than the novel gave her or anyone.  I’m not a huge fan of this Wendy depiction but I’ve got to take my hat off to the writers for at least giving Wendy a coming of age narrative.

Disney’s classic Peter Pan pulled a similar move taking the focus from Peter and putting it entirely on Wendy. The implications at the end imply that Wendy’s adventure was all a dream and that Tinker bell and Tiger Lilly were reflections of her own manifesting sexuality. Peter Pan her desire not to grow up and Hook I’m going to guess that he was her daddy issues.

I actually think Walt did Wendy a solid in her characterization. This is one of the few Wendy’s were her concern for her brothers and the lost boys don’t feel tacked on. Since most adaptations do very little to build Wendy’s dynamic with the other kids. Here it’s in every face wipe and tearful good bye and every “Do be careful” thrown over Wendy’s shoulder.

Also the Disney movie does a one eighty from everyone in Neverland worshiping her to Neverland treating her rather badly. It takes Wendy’s annoyance from called her squaw from the Novel and has the Indians bully her into fetching firewood instead of joining the celebrations. Also the mermaids not only try to drown her but Peter thinks is all a big joke. Disney’s Wendy constantly stands up for herself but often gets brushed off or forced to walk the plank. In this version you can one hundred percent understand why Wendy is so done with this place and ready to grow up. Here the reality of what it’s like to experience everyone acting like a self-centered child is here on full display.

Also Disney’s Wendy is not perfect she gets angry and loses her temper attacking mermaids or yelling at Indians. She gets jealous of Tiger Lilly being all over Peter and is sour towards him.  Wendy is dreamy eyed, and polite but this version of her also doesn’t take anyone’s crap and will let you know if you’ve crossed a line or if you’re flat out awful.   But she’s still pleads with Peter on her attempted murder’s behalf. Wendy also reminds Peter that Tiger Lilly is drowning when he gets caught up in celebrating his cleverness. She still makes sure she can say goodbye to her brothers and the lost boys before Hook kills her. Even on her worst day Disney’s Wendy is a kind person even when those around her are less so.

But my favorite portrayal of Wendy has got to be from the 90’s classic “Peter Pan and the Pirates” TV series which aired on Fox was about one season then got cancelled.  While it doesn’t really focus on Wendy a whole lot since its more concerned with the relationship between Peter Pan his lost boys and Hook’s crew. 

She still has a pretty important role.  Wendy often serves as a voice of reason to the group which doesn’t go against her original role in the novel since she takes a cake that’s been left out all night away from the lost boys. Which does present her as the one with the most common sense but the show lets Wendy tell Peter this is a bad idea way more often than the book and blow up at him after he does the stupid thing every one told him not to do. Also Wendy gets to be more of a moral center lecturing Peter for stealing the picture of Hook’s mother in the episode “Hooks mother” and encouraging him to return it and even getting Peter to take care of Hook after he’s injured. This is in a positive change in my opinion because it actually expands on Wendy’s role as a guide to adult hood. Here Wendy Darling encourages a kind of good behavior she helps build moral character in her boys. Wendy has strong ideals and this adaptation actually has her stand by her principals for better or worse. This not only gives her more of a central role in the story but also gives her more chances to be active. Yay character agency!

Also this version of Wendy was the first to have a bit of an interesting relationship with Hook. (Who is voiced by Tim curry and does an excellent job.)  While the writers got rid of the almost pedophilic undertones of Hook wanting to keep Wendy from the novel and the “My beauty” pet name.  Thank god for that even in the novel i thought it was too much.     There’s still a bit of a dynamic even if its way more innocent.

In the episode  In Peter on Trial Wendy not only lands on the ship unharmed but reminds Hook executing Peter without a trial would not be proper form at all. She then hits Hook in the ego by declaring “Surely you don’t doubt your powers of debate against that of a mere girl” And not only gets a trial but manages to win even when the trial is rigged against them. Hook even congratulates her before proceeding to find his own loophole and kill Peter Pan anyway. The point is this suggests this Wendy has a bit of an insight into Hook maybe more so then Peter. She knows he’s obsessed with good form and has an ego that prides its self on being the smartest person in the room.

This cuts both ways while Wendy is capable of manipulating Hook, he also consistently manipulates Wendy by offering his word as a gentlemen when he intends to break it as a pirate. This dynamic highlights Wendy’s flaw of trusting dangerous people and allowing them to hurt her friends. Hook has picked up that she trusts or wants to trust him. In this version Hook actually treats Wendy as opponent vs the usual she belongs to Peter and I want to steal her like in most adaptations. Also despite Hook being terrifying Wendy has no problem being all “There’s no need to get cranky Captain” and I kind of love how comfortable she is with the guy despite him being an enemy.

This proves Wendy doesn’t have to be a sword wielding “Who are you to call me girlie” action girl to be a good character. She can be flawed but still remain a good person and giving her a spine is always appreciated.

Wendy Darling is at her core a guide into adulthood with a strong moral character and a voice of reason who is used to shine a light on how important motherhood is since the result of mothers abandoning or neglecting their children shape the Peter’s of the world.  This makes her important to the overall story and themes of Peter Pan.

[honeylikewords]

Talk to me about tros!!!! I need to know about Poe!!

Okay, I’m finally sitting down to answer this anon, and a few things before I start!

1. Most of what I’m going to say will really only make sense if you go see The Rise of Skywalker yourself. While it’s far from a perfect movie, it’d take way too long for me to try and transcribe everything that happens in the film, and the context and nuance of certain scenes. So, yeah, while it’s not a good movie, if you’re invested in seeing how the movies have played out, you should probably go see it yourself.

2. I have some... mixed feelings about the movie. I also know that what I don’t like, I can choose to ignore; despite the disappointments of the series, I don’t have to take Rian or JJ’s bullshit as MY canon. I get to decide what I do and don’t adhere to as canon. Everyone else has their own varying scales of how they respond to canon-- some are super adherent to canon, some don’t care about anything at all-- and that’s fine. So although I have beef with how all this unfolded, I also know that I can take my love that I have for the characters (and all the potential that The Force Awakens had) and carry that on through my own interpretations, re-writes, et cetera, and I can choose to ignore the poor decisionmaking on the parts of Disney and Rian/JJ/who-the-fuck-ever. 

3. This ask is very open-ended, so I’m going to have to put some parameters down for myself because otherwise I’d get too overwhelmed with the breadth of information I’d need to present about TRoS. A comprehensive review would be really hard to write out, so I’ll just list some initial impressions (I haven’t been able to see it a second time, but likely will in the near future), and some of the relevant Poe-related issues in the films. If you wanna know more, feel free to send in more specific questions (specificity can help, because with my neurotype, I can easily be overwhelmed by large, “general” questions, and getting more granular can help me rein in and focus on a specific idea)!

4. Also, this post isn’t going to be friendly to R*ylo or people who straightwash Poe/are only interested in him as a straight guy. R*ylo is fucking gross, and I’m gonna rip it apart in this post, and Poe isn’t straight. I try not to be too aggressive on here (I’m generally not very aggressive at all!), but the fandom is just so toxic and vile at times that I feel like I need to put my foot down on these topics and say a firm “no” to R*ylos and Poe straightwashers. Oh, and I’ll be talking about the racism in the movie, as well as in the fandom, so buckle up for that, too. So consider this the “bigots begone!” spell as I wave my wand and attempt to shoo them all away!

Anyway...

From here down are spoilers for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. If you’re interested in seeing the movie spoiler-free, please scoot waaaaay past this post! Last warning!

And, with that out of the way, here we go!

Alright, here’s a list of stuff as it occurs to me. I’m almost overwhelmed with information, so it’s hard to condense my thoughts, but I’ll try my best!

1. The whole Zorri thing was a fucking nightmare, but not as bad as it could have been. It was really bad, believe me, but, like, it can be ignored easily (though if you’re anything like me, it’ll still leave a sour taste in your mouth). Like I predicted, Zorri was introduced to straightwash Poe and effectively quash any queer interpretations of his character and relationship with Finn. 

But, like, Poe and Zorri had no chemistry. It was almost embarrassing; they were clearly trying to work the “badass woman” angle, but, eh, she was just, basically, a minor blip on the radar; incredibly boring, incredibly useless, and just, like, a “sexy lamp” that could easily have been replaced. She added literally nothing to the film and was blatantly just an insert to try and prevent people from being able to make the case for a queer Poe. But, too bad, Disney! Poe is pansexual, dumbasses!

Oh, and while I’m on the topic of Poe’s queerness, I should add that I’m not really a big FinnPoe, myself; when it got big after the release of The Force Awakens, if felt like just another creepy Tumblr fetishization of male relationships, so that really set the tone for how I’d see it in the coming years. It’s grievously oversexualized on this site, but I also respect that, for many actually queer fans, the ship represents seeing themselves in Star Wars, and I do totally see their bond as canon. I completely acknowledge that Oscar wanted to represent the queer fans who wanted his character to be queer, and in that way, FinnPoe is definitely canon in some form! 

So, I do have a complex relationship with FinnPoe, in that it’s not my personal favorite ship (I vastly prefer FinnRey, since I never really felt that Finn and Poe had a romantic tension, but felt that Finn and Rey did), but I do respect the importance of it for queer fans and for trying to push at the limitations a major series like Star Wars has had for so long. Star Wars has been dominated as a straight, cishet, white man’s fandom; it’s time other people got a chance to love it and see themselves in this vast universe, too.

The cast also seems to be leaning into FinnPoe as a form of protest against censorship and homophobia in the fandoms and film world. They’re using their positions as major film stars to push back and say “hey, queer folks belong here, too”, and that’s so great!

But, anyway, the point is, Zorri sucked, and Poe’s not straight. He’s certainly capable of being attracted to women, but he’s not a straight dude, because he’s equally capable of being attracted to men and nonbinary people as well. 

Thankfully, Zorri and Poe never actually form a relationship in TRoS. He jokes about asking for a kiss, she tells him to go, and then he, at the end, sort of motions his head as if to say “wanna go kiss?” and she, again, tells him no, which he shrugs off. It’s pretty shitty, but easy to ignore.

Anyway, Poe is pan, Finn is pan, Lando is pan, Luke Skywalker is gay and nonbinary, Rey is nonbinary and probably ace, maybe interested in girls, I’m still ironing my hcs for her out, and no one can stop me! Go ahead and try to kill me, Disney (and homophobic Star Wars fans); if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!

2. Poe’s “backstory” is such a fucking trainwreck. They basically tried to nix a bunch of what was already canonically established in order to, get this, make Poe a drug dealer. 

It’s a little more complex-- the idea is that Poe was a pilot for a group of pirates for about six years, from the age of 16 until he was 22-ish, and ran Spice, the drug in Star Wars-- but it’s also not. It’s really bad. 

Way to take a canonically noble, hardworking, Latino character and reduce him to the most shitty, racist stereotype imaginable. I’ve already complained about him not needing a “dark” past, but this? This is somehow worse than him being, like, a bounty hunter, because it carries political implications and is just such a stock, trash stereotype that we don’t need in this world or in our fantasies. It’s ridiculous, and I refuse to acknowledge it.

Worse yet, it’s said that Poe “ran away from home” to join the pirates to “avoid responsibility” at age 16... dude, Poe has been shown in EVERY PRIOR CANONICAL APPEARANCE TO CRAVE NOTHING BUT RESPONSIBILITY. Yes, he’s a hothead, but he’s responsible! He wants to labor and take on caring for others because he’s a hardworking, compassionate, headstrong man! Ugh!

I could go off forever about this, but I’m already feeling myself grinding my teeth, and for the sake of my blood pressure and psychological wellbeing I’m not going to make myself go feral over it right now. Deep breaths, K, deep breaths...

3. In things I did like: Poe got promoted to general, and he made Finn a general alongside him. He really grew into his position, and I’m so proud to see him as General Dameron of the Resistance. He deserves it. 

4. Poe and Finn had SO many good scenes and such great chemistry. I loved seeing them bounce off each other, and their relationship made me laugh and smile and feel warm, even as everything else was falling apart. I love my boys!

5. Poe gets grossed out by bones. Canon. Love a squeamish king.

6. Oh, ugh, I just remembered that they tried to frame Poe and Rey as having an aggressive relationship with each other and I rolled my eyes. How dumb can they be? Ugh. I don’t even have the energy to try and unpack how ridiculous all that is. More deep breaths...

7. In terms of the worst thing to happen in the movie... R*ylo, like, gets shoehorned in. Honestly, looking back at all the predictions I made a few months back, I’m entirely right; everything I predicted came to pass. This included.

It was shitty and bad and nearly all the cast has spoken out against it now that their contracts with Disney aren’t as binding, and seeing it happen on the big screen was just... oh my god, it was horrifying.

It really was.

But thankfully, Kylo died, so the ship can’t really continue! Yeehaw!

8. I actually did like parts of the ending. I’ll talk about that more if anyone asks more specific questions, but right now, I’m kinda burning out because of the wide net this ask casts, so I’ll have to defer for the moment.

At any rate, it all happened exactly the way I thought it would, bleh. Like, so much shit in the movie went down exactly the way my TRoS predictions post said, it’s almost scary. 

Honestly, though, just running through all this is exhausting me; I really can’t make myself go through it all in this particular format. So, I’ll just leave this here as it is, and if anyone has any specific questions-- what I thought of specific moments, characters, scenes, etc-- send an ask! But this is all just really wide and general and burning my brain out to try and process it all again, so more specificity in future asks might help me stay more on track and not get overwhelmed trying to explain every single thing all at once. 

I have tons and tons of thoughts about it, ranging from what I loved to what I’d have done different about the whole series, but I just don’t have the psychological wherewithal to make myself write everything out in one giant, dense, indecipherable post: it’s just all too much, so I’d need to break it down into smaller, more specific questions.

This probably isn’t a super-satisfying answer, but feel free to just send specific asks and I’ll answer them, no matter how many! It just helps to have a specific line of thought to follow, so feel free to ask about each individual thing and I’ll try to answer!

Thanks!

[razz-tfs]

Dicked Down

a/n: my first standalone tf story, but part of a larger universe i hope to expand upon. hope you enjoy the odd kinks! and let me know what you think

I’ve been trying to share my story for a while now, but it’s impossible to find a place to begin, and it’s not like it’s ending any time soon. Razz suggested that instead of trying to nail it down in one linear story, I should just share our adventures. Eventually I’ll probably fill in the details, but sometimes they just aren’t as important, you know?

Yesterday we revisited my tiny cock kink. Razzor is eager to engage in any type of transformation, and every so often I land back on being dominated, getting pounded down while my useless, tiny cock nub is left ignored. Normally I have a respectable seven-incher, but “normal” seems to mean very little with a demon like Razz.

Razzor has been in my life for a few months now, and it’s been a revolutionary experience. Personally I feel like the details are boring, but our sex games are where the fun comes in. My current “default” body is relatively tall, around 6’2”, and solidly muscled. I also enjoy a good chest of hair that accents my physique. But any of that can change if it strikes our fancy.

This time, Razz wanted to make it a bit of a game. Instead of a quick fuck with a shrunken cock, he sat down on the bed where I had been relaxing and pulled out the phone I got him recently. He thumbed over to open an app I hadn’t seen before.

“This will let me transfer cock size between us whenever I want,” he told me, leaning against me and showing the screen. “In fact, whenever I take some of your dick, you’ll have some other changes too. Like your ass might get bigger, or you might beg to be filled with come.” I smiled. I loved when Razz blended a couple of different quirks together.

“And remember,” he continued, “your dick size goes right to me.” I eyed the massive meat between his bare thighs, already eight inches soft, and imagined transferring my size to him. I gave a shudder just thinking about it.

“Ah, ah, honey. Only I get to decide when you get dicked down. Are you already desperate to give away your cock?” He pulled the phone away, like keeping a toy from a child. (Which was ironic, given that my muscled body had two inches and about 20 pounds on my more toned lover.)

“Yes, Razz, yes.” I couldn’t keep my voice from coming out breathy as I turned into his chest and held him. This app was a way hotter idea than I would’ve come up with. “Take an inch now! I’m not using it.”

The casual observer might have objected to that line. Razz’s little idea had me rock solid in my loose gym shorts, the tip of my (currently) above-average dick just sticking out and grazing the bottom of my tank top. But my man knew that I was more eager to see my length dwindling down than fuck anyone tonight.

“I’ll give you just a taste, love,” he said with a wink, and fiddled with his phone.

I gasped, not in surprise so much as lust, as my dick jolted and briefly contracted. I’d wager Razz only took about a half inch, knowing that teasing me would drive me wild. Just enough that my waistband could hide it once more.

I hastily reached for my pants, eager to rip them off and see my ever-so-slightly smaller package, but with a quick thought I instead looked beside me on the bed to Razz, eager to watch his changes. He had been chubbing up, so the size I gave him was lost in the process, but once he was hard I saw some girth and a bit of length had definitely been added.

Already horned up, the extra nudge from the app sent me over the edge easily. I rolled over and scooted around on the bed to dive into Razz’s crotch. Right away I was sucking his now 11-inch monster with little difficulty. If there’s one thing I’ve learned well, it’s accommodating many varied sizes.

As I bobbed up and down, I arched a fractionally-larger ass into the air. Razz, emboldened that I had taken so quickly to the app, decided not to wait any longer. He grabbed his phone and stole, with no warning, a full two inches of my prized cock.

The effects were astounding.

All at once, I felt a rush of sensory input. My primary focus was on the cock I was swirling in my skilled mouth, so I certainly noticed it surge beyond a foot in length, directly into the back of my throat. I moaned around it, grabbing at the growing base.

However, I also felt the thrill of my dick pulling into itself, contracting and sliding against the fabric to a rock solid 4.5 inches in length, shorter than I had been soft. I was now tenting my shorts instead of sticking up into the waistband.

As my hands reached toward my pants to feel the change, I found myself instead removing them, and reaching behind to play with my ass. This time the growth was substantial, and I already had a respectable bubble butt to start. My ass now was simply big, deserving of every “juicy” compliment it would be sure to earn. But even more to that point, when I plunged my fingers between the plump cheeks, I found my ass to be soaking wet.

“Oh fuck yeah,” Razz remarked as I pulled out my now-lubed fingers. “I see some of my secret additions are working too.” Cock still in mouth, I simply groaned in appreciation.

I glanced down at my dick, now that my shorts were out of the way. It was just like mine should be, but mini-size. My thighs looked absolutely amazing next to the smaller dick, too.

“I figured since you would be so desperate to be filled, you’d need a little help… accommodating me.” Razz caught my eye as I looked up at him. I hoped my look conveyed both how much I loved him, but also how hot this was to play out.

“You’re so sexy like this,” my lover said, reading my silent arousal. “Fucking whoring yourself out on my monster cock, leaving your own pitiful stick ignored.” Razz was fantastic at dirty talk, and it always got me riled up. He was right, the foot of meat I was swallowing was certainly a monster, and mine was truly pitiful in comparison.

I glanced down again at my shrunken dick, shivering with pleasure as I saw it jerking itself in place in time with my deep throating. I noticed my balls had shrunken a little as well, proportionally.

I reached back into my inflated ass, this time adding in a third finger as I loosened my now-sloppy hole. I moaned once more around Razz’s beautiful behemoth, unable to articulate more as I sucked and licked and worshipped it. I picked up the pace, and I reminded myself that I was pleasuring two and a half inches of my own cock, stolen by the man I loved. Plunging a fourth finger deep into my ass and shoving the massive dick down my throat, I lurched forward and pushed Razz and myself over the edge — him coming deeply into me, and myself barely dribbling over my own thigh. I felt more relief accepting his load than I did releasing my own.

I came down from my high, and extricated myself from Razz’s dick. I wiped my mouth in satisfaction and gave a dopey smile to my demonic lover. The cheeky smirk I saw on his face told me this little ride wasn’t quite over.

“So, what next?” I asked, ready to go again. My ass was still wet, and I was eager to try stretching it around Razz’s new cock.

“Well I’ve got to go set up your Tumblr since you always seem to get distracted halfway through,” Razz said as he stood up from the bed. “I’m sure you’ll find ways to pass the time.”

And with that, Razz walked out of our bedroom along with a third of my cock. What I had left softened to less than three inches as I sat up on my pumped-up ass. I marveled at my shrunken state, never really spending much time soft with a smaller dick in any of our previous sessions. It looked almost adorable nestled between my thick and powerful thighs, a stark contrast to my otherwise stereotypically masculine body.

Usually our transformation games have a definite beginning and end, but this time I wasn’t really sure when I’d be getting my length back. We usually toyed around with me going down to about this size, sometimes hard and sometimes staying pitifully soft, unable to even ejaculate. But by this point I’m used to Razz’s transformations, and I’m never anxious to end any particular fantasy, except when I have a new idea for the next one. I trust him completely, and we’ve always immediately ended anything I didn’t enjoy. (While I like the experience of changing to be drawn out, Razz can do things instantaneously when he needs to.)

After relaxing from that hot blow job, I wanted to check out my ass a little more. I had been so fixated on my smaller cock, I hadn’t realized that I had the perfect way to show off both — my jockstrap. As I slid the jet black fabric up my legs, I felt it settle into place around my engorged glutes. The pouch in front was comically under-filled compared to my more common 5-7 inch soft range. While my butt stretched the straps out, my 3-inch dick and smaller balls left only a subtle dent in the front.

After a few minutes of modeling myself and taking a few pictures, I changed into my favorite tiny pink thong. This one was designed with a mini-cock in mind. The thin strip of fabric slipped right between my pillowy cheeks as the tiny triangle in front acted as an appropriately-sized pouch. This fabric was thin enough to show every outline and shape of my package. I turned in the mirror to see how the back of the thong completely disappeared into my blown-up ass.

Right at that moment, I felt a shock. My eyes shot to my crotch and I watched in rapture as my little softie shrank further, down to two inches soft, where even in this ridiculous thong it was starting to get tough to see. Everything had gone with it proportionally — my balls had pulled tightly against my dwindling dick. Shit. I knew Razz would manage to surprise me again!

Immediately, I reached into my thong and realized, wildly enough, that it was the first time I was using my hands on my own cock in hours. I pumped my cocklet a few times, using just a few fingers to poke around in the fabric, until it hardened a bit and pushed to 3 inches long. Now that it was “stretching” the pouch once more, I could appreciate how small it had gotten. The sight drove me wild, knowing that Razz had now stolen 4 inches of my hard length. I abandoned the useless dick and dove for my bedside table, where I kept a handy dildo. “Be prepared” is the Scout’s motto, after all.

I was luckily able to use my own ass lube to get things going, after pushing the sopping wet string of the thong aside. In no time I was lying back on my bed, working the dildo into my hungry hole. I pounded in and out of my ever-growing ass, stimulating my prostate with the toy until I shuddered in a dry orgasm. Well, I say dry, but my self-lubing asshole was anything but.

I was basking in the afterglow, petting my still-hard cock (could I still call it a cock at this size?) through the thong, when I felt that familiar jolt. Excitedly, I looked down to my crotch to see how much more I’d lose. The tingling managed to take yet another inch in length, bringing me down to just two inches again, but this time while hard. I flushed in a mixture of pleasure and embarrassment by seeing my “endowment” not able to make a respectable bulge in the tiny thong’s pouch. Men my size would usually stretch this thing right off their bodies, but my dicklet couldn’t even fill it.

The exhilaration of shrinking almost distracted me from my growing ass. But this time, my hole was positively quivering with need. I grabbed the messy dildo and slammed it back into my waiting hole. My hand pounded the dildo harder into my even-fatter ass as I had a lucid thought.

I realized, stupidly, that at that point Razz’s own cock must be truly monstrous. I was moaning and shaking with need on the bed, when my dick jolted down another half inch. There was barely a visible bulge at this point, and the thong is skin tight. I realized that the dildo was just a sad facsimile for what I really needed then. I needed Razz.

I left the dildo where it was so I wouldn’t be empty. My stupidly huge cheeks bulged around it, keeping it held in place. I laughed when I realized I still had the thong on, but I really loved seeing how this skin tight outfit showed off my dicklet. There was no mistaking exactly how little I was packing.

When I got up out of the bed, a shifting weight on my chest brought my attention to my pecs, which had apparently gotten bloated up along with my ass during one of the last transfers. I became distracted from my quest for Razz’s dick, and grabbed my engorged nipples, groaning at a sensation that rivaled stroking two dicks at once. (And my opinion on the matter should be trusted.) My nipples had really fattened and were even sticking out. Shit, my nipples could almost rival my cock nub, but that’s not much of a challenge.

As I twisted them together, I felt an indescribable pleasure at the same, delirious moment that Razz decided to take another half inch from my nub of a dick. My former glory could pass as a fold in the fabric of this thong as it dwindled down to a single inch. My ass bulged around the dildo, my tits pumped a bit more, and my urgent need for Razz finally put my legs into motion. I hurried down the hall, calling for my lover.

“Please, please fill me, Razz! I need your cock. My cock you stole from me. I need you to really fill me up!”

My brain was too addled by lust to string together anything more than begging. One of my hands was still teasing a nipple as I, at last, reached Razz.

His cock was beastly, looking around 10 inches soft, maybe a bit longer. And what was even more astounding was its massive girth and the low-hanging balls resting beneath. Razz was lounging proudly across our couch, still naked, with his half-stolen equipment trapped between his legs. When clearly it was made to fill my hole.

“Oh, honey,” Razz said, looking up from his phone as if he were just noticing that I had entered the room, as if he hadn’t heard my moaning pleas. “You’re covered up? I want to see what a pathetic nub you have left.” He winked, and my knees went weak even as he mocked my microscopic dick.

I quickly went over and joined him on the couch. As I crawled across his lean body, I dragged my beefy tits against his skin, once more teasing my nipples. I shook my ass and jostled the dildo around, bringing Razz’s attention to the toy.

“Ah, so this is what kept you from finding me sooner,” he said, as he removed the thong from around the dildo. He then grabbed the toy and pounded it into my ass a few times. “I thought I was going to have to take the whole thing to get you to come out here.”

At that idea, I came instantly. Well, the orgasm felt like coming, at least. My nub barely got out a drop of pre for the event, but my ass spasmed wildly against the dildo and my nipples felt like they were on fire.

“Let’s look at what you have left!” Razz announced, and we leaned apart.

I gaped at my crotch. I knew I had lost most of my length, but the one inch nub was truly tiny. I reached to grab it between my thumb and forefinger, and was surprised at how little I felt it.

“I redirected pretty much all of your pleasurable sensation elsewhere in your body.” He slammed the dildo home again and I saw stars.

I dove onto his mouth and kissed him passionately, while grinding my ass back against the fake cock he was still fucking me with. I broke from kissing him just a moment to whine “fill me for real”, unable to really enact any plan myself.

Razz, for his part, was deeply enjoying my obsessive state. He finally began to chub up, though his newly engorged tool took time to get fully hard. He started to grind into my crotch, his massive organ dwarfing my entire package.

I whined again, not caring about anything other than a real, actual cock in my leaking, needy, fucking desperate asshole.

Instead, Razz rolled us around on the couch so that I was laying back, the dildo momentarily left forgotten but still wedged in my ass. He leaned over me and grabbed yet another dildo off the table, a larger one that better approximated his new size. He put it into my hands without much further guidance, and then proceeded to blow my mind by sliding his huge dick against my chest, fucking my pecs-turned-bitch tits. I groaned in satisfaction, feeling around behind him to exchange the silicon dicks. My size donations had really beefed Razz’s dick up to a thrilling girth, so even though he was maybe two inches longer than before, it felt like a massive difference.

My eager hole might have been disappointed at the lack of real cock, but my tits were singing in bliss. As Razz fucked against my chest, pushing them from every angle, my nipples started to tingle. I then felt the bizarre sensation of my nipples leaking… lube? Yeah, it could only be lube. I looked up in wonder at Razz.

He simply grinned, and used his massive cock head to smear the lube around my chest, sliding his slick rod back and forth between my pecs. I couldn’t believe how sensitive my chest was — almost as if I actually was getting fucked. With every pass of his massive dick near my mouth, I would give it a quick lick. It began to leave more and more thick pre behind as Razz’s pace increased. I could feel his ball sack completely overlap my minuscule package as he dragged it back and forth along my crotch.

He reached behind himself, and grabbed the discarded dildo from before. With inhuman dexterity, he managed to continue fucking against my chest while also guiding the first dildo to my ass. My greedy hole was ready for any challenge to prove its mettle, and I grabbed the fake cock and joined it alongside its bigger brother. My wet hole stretched satisfyingly around both cocks, my fat cheeks squeezing the bases together.

As I drove the dildos into me, prepping myself for the real pounding to come, Razz grinded forward and lodged the head of his dick in my mouth. I worked my tongue all over his massive cock, fighting to get as much of it in my mouth as possible. He was positively flowing pre at this point, his engorged (stolen!) balls probably over-producing. The feeling of the length of his thick cock dragging against one of my nipples, while his nut sack covered my tiny dicklet like a blanket, alongside my DP-dildo hammering that was running on auto-pilot, caused me to orgasm yet again. My dick stayed more or less dry, but I gushed around the dildos crammed into my ass, squirted a fresh batch of lube from my nipples, and positively shook in pleasure. I couldn’t articulate anything more sophisticated than a satisfied moan.

Razz was holding out on his own orgasm for the grand finale. He pulled back and away. I was too dazed to give that any mind. I don’t think even Razz at his most teasing would have resisted fucking me at that point, as I was completely gone and certain to be useless until I got a good fucking out.

Right on cue, Razz pulled me up and turned me around, bringing my dildo-filled ass around to his huge, delicious, real, actual cock. He feigned carelessness as he reached in between my cheeks, pulled out the toys, and dropped them on the couch. Then he finally readied his glorious manhood. His dick was almost literally 50% mine at this point, as I glanced down at my pitiful, rock-solid one inch nub. He lined up with my well-stretched hole, and pushed in.

Bliss.

I know sex with Razz is always ecstasy, but the flavor is always unique. I can’t put into words the sensation of his massive tool widening me as much as two cocks had. He pushed in slowly but steadily, and I couldn’t believe there was more, inch after inch.

After an agonizing, tortuously delicious entry, I felt Razz, impossibly, bottom out against me. Usually his balls would be slapping into mine at this point, but my almost-nonexistent nut sack wasn’t coming close.

As my need grew, I felt myself lubing Razz up while he increased the pace. He reached around and started toying with my nipples, making them leak again.

“So baby, how do you like your new tits? They give off a special kind of milk that I find more practical.” Razz loved making it all the realer by saying it out loud. He reached down further to my crotch.

“You know, this baby dick isn’t even doing much for you any more, is it?”

“No!” I managed to wail between my heavy pants. “Take it! It’s yours!”

“You’re always so generous, Derek.”

Razz brought his cell phone around in front of me. He didn’t even stop fucking my ass as he expertly navigated the app. There it was. A percentage bar of how much cock Razz had stolen from me. By mass, Razz had taken 90% of my package. He simply tapped an arrow a few times, and changed that to 95%.

A change in five percent, from my current perspective, was half of what I had left. Enraptured, I watched my rock solid nub truly contract, shrinking down under half an inch long. My balls were completely gone. I was so caught up in my dick, I barely even noticed my tits swell and my ass push harder against Razz’s length.

“There. Look at you, honey,” Razz said as my last change came to a halt. “Almost completely cockless. Just a little useless nub.” I whined in pleasure. “You gave it all,” he grunted, “to me.”

And then I felt his dick jump in size. It didn’t feel proportional to the size he had just stolen, but I wasn’t about to complain when I felt that satisfying stretch.

“I guess you could say yours is still hard, but shit, it’s not even much of a dick at this point.” He grabbed at the nub, but there wasn’t a lot to hold onto.

I couldn’t really disagree. I couldn’t care less about my clit in terms of pleasure. I was milking everything I could out of Razz and I hadn’t even noticed my own hand had been playing with a nipple for who knows how long. Who needed a dick when I had these beefy tits or this sloppy cunt?

Fuck. Cunt? Did I really just call my pussy a cunt? Holy shit. Wait, did I think clit earlier?

Razz interrupted this train of thought. “So the last special change was a vocab mixup. I can undo it if you want.”

I considered it a moment, but figured what the hell and shook my head. “Though,” I tried to snark between his thrusts, “if you had wanted to fuck a pussy,” thrust, “you could’ve just given me one of those instead.”

“In the end, I just wanted to hear you insult your own pathetic nub.” Razz punctuated the thought with a particularly deep thrust. I moaned like the slut I was and pushed back into him.

“Yeah?” I asked. “Well I know this little clit is useless. Hell, it’s not even much of a clit. Why would I need something like that when I can just give it all to you and you can fuck me with it?”

“Oh?” Razz pretended to be surprised, and showed me the app again. “So why don’t you give me the rest of it? Your whole package. Since you aren’t using it.”

I grabbed both of my over-sensitive nipples and bounced on Razz’s monster cock. I hadn’t really thought about it, but feeling around on top of him he had to be over 14 inches long at this point. I felt proud knowing that my dick contributed to this masterpiece. I knew I needed a more fuckable ass, more fuckable titties, anything and everything I could get from giving away what little cock I had left. 5% really wasn’t that much to lose at this point, anyway.

“Yes, yes Razz. Take it all!” I dreamed of how it would feel.

“Oh no, babe. I won’t take it from you. You can give it and I’ll accept it, but you have to be the one to do it.” Razz knew me so well. Keep control away and then give it back to me right at the end, right when I really didn’t have a choice. I had to know the feeling, if not today then the next time we tried this fantasy. Even clear-headed I would’ve probably made the same decision.

I swiped over to my slider and dragged it down to 99%. I wanted to feel one last moment from both sides. I watched in pure pleasure as my nub pulled almost entirely into my body. I basically had a little miniature dickhead, and that was it. I knew it served no purpose whatsoever, but I still wanted to see what it would look like. Kind of adorable, really. And in another way, absolutely hilarious hidden in the expanse between my powerful thighs and defined waist.

As I looked up from my mini clit, I watched as my tits swelled even further outward. The sensitive and enlarged nipples that sat on them grew ever-so-slightly, and I could even feel their increased sensitivity. One hand shot from the phone to my nip, caressing the supple flesh that far surpassed the size of my nearly nonexistent dick. As I massaged, it began to leak more of the highly-effective lube.

Razz was completely ceaseless in the pounding of my fattened ass. It inflated ever-larger around his dick, which itself grew from my donation. It pushed just a little deeper and stretched just a little wider. I took a steadying breath as Razz pushed into me.

He reached, in jest, for his phone. “Done?” he quipped.

I grunted in panic, and grabbed the phone quickly. With my other hand I pressed against my penis — reduced from 7 full inches when hard, down to less than a dick head. I couldn’t even call it a proper clit. My touch, somehow, seemed to excite it a bit, and I felt a jolt that might have, at one point, passed for a come shot. It barely registered to me as an orgasm. I slid the bar down fully, and gave 100% of my package to Razz.

Razz does like the dramatics.

I was watching, ready to see what my nullified crotch would look like. I had openly talked about my tiny dick fantasies, but we hadn’t really discussed taking away the dick entirely. My only hangups about the idea came from fear about permanence. Fantasies are fun in moments of passion, but I don’t want to get caught actually hating a situation. Trusting Razz lets me experience the impossible, and then feel like a normal person the next day.

In this moment, I was not a normal person. Even given my already-ridiculous proportions, Razz must have decided that hitting 100% deserved a bit of a reward. For both parties. My “last bits” just seemed to count extra.

At first, I was elated to see my smooth crotch. Nothing there, no dick or balls or vagina or anything. It was completely taken away! And it was gifted back to me in the form of the cock slamming into my hungry, slutty cunt.

But elation fell to confused disappointment when my view was obscured. It took a moment to register that my swelling tits now blocked the view of my cockless crotch! I reached up to play with my nipples out of habit and immediately forgave them their intrusion. It felt too good to play with them, sliding around their slick mess.

I did drop one hand, though, and grab the smaller discarded dildo. My mouth was feeling annoyingly empty, and it seemed like it would fit.

All the while, my ass was not to be left out. The original transfers had begun the booty-swelling process, so by now my ass was completely impractical. It would actually take a monster cock like Razz’s to get enough dick into my hole. The round shape was perfectly maintained, probably defying a few laws of physics, or at least asking them to take a short break. The rush of pleasure caused a gush of lube around Razz’s massive tube.

Speaking of, Razz really did want to celebrate taking all of my manhood. His cock jumped wildly inside me, and he seemed to pull out forever before slamming back in. I would have to estimate the massive tool at over 16 inches, and it sure as fuck was solid as steel. I cannot begin to explain the pleasure of my pussy stretching around his growing manhood, knowing that I gave him that virility.

Razz reached around and grabbed the null area between my legs. Free real estate. It actually felt kind of pleasurable, like a phantom tickle I couldn’t reach. I could barely focus on it, though, given the frantic sucking I gave the dildo. I grabbed the larger dildo too and started rubbing it around my messy chest, fucking my tits with the toy.

Razz was clearly pleased with his handiwork. He had gotten an amazing session in and barely changed himself. His dick was bigger, but we had done that before. I was so desperate in my head, though, that I felt crazed. I crammed one dick in my mouth as I slid the other across both slick nipples, shuddering the whole time. Razz had adopted a wildly unpredictable tempo with my ass, which left spurts of lube shooting out around the tight seal. I found myself wishing I had more cock to give so I could be stuffed even fuller.

I rocked back and forth, and Razz started to moan in my ear. I knew he was finally getting close. He and I joined hands in rubbing my flat crotch, trying to stimulate what wasn’t there. Every bit of cock I had was attached to another man, fucking me nearly a foot and a half deep in my wet, stretched-out cunt. My whole torso was slick from the lube dripping from my milky tits.

“I’m there,” he groaned into my ear, shoving himself fully into me, unleashing a wild pleasure as he magicked up another two inches worth of cock to push me and himself over the edge. I dropped the dildo I had left in my mouth and moaned like the dirtiest whore, riding a shockwave of ecstasy as Razz’s 18 inches came deep, deep inside of me. He pumped more and more of our shared production into my eager pussy, and all I could do was beg for more and more.

I clearly couldn’t ejaculate in my state, but that didn’t hold me back from a powerful orgasm. My ass practically vibrated as it tried to milk Razz for everything he had. That alone felt like coming. I could feel his satisfaction as deeply as my own. My tits had nipples more sensitive that some dicks could ever be, and I gasped as Razz reached and grabbed one. He clearly wanted to play since he gave me these ridiculous things.

After a while of rocking back and forth together, we both came down from our high. He pulled out, but quickly replaced his hose with a butt plug to hold his load in place. I felt no need to complain, but Razz must have whisked away the hazy horniness that had clouded my thoughts for the past few hours. I felt a bit less overwhelmed by all the sensations, though it was jarring even to just be lying there with my odd form.

My muscled body did a fine job of supporting the added weight of my engorged pec-tits and my astounding ass. An ass which was managing to leak a little lube and come around the buttplug that wasn’t designed for my stretched out cunt. My nipples still dribbled a little come, and I felt that my tongue had even thickened slightly in my mouth throughout some part of the process. And nothing could beat the truly bizarre feeling of rubbing my thick thighs together and feeling absolutely nothing between them.

We arranged ourselves into a more comfortable cuddling position on the couch.

“Maybe next time,” Razz whispered in my ear, reaching around and rubbing my null crotch as he nestled his monster cock between my asscheeks, “I’ll put the app on your phone.”

Hm. Now that, that’s an interesting idea.