#like I didn’t wish I could do that
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Had a horrible nightmare and I am now sitting here absolutely seething with rage surrounding the NHS and especially the Mental Health Act and I don’t know what to do with this rage. I just want to combust/evaporate and not be on this horrible planet anymore.
#personal#thoughts#anger#trauma?#does it count as trauma#nhs#nhs nightmare#mental health#chronic pain#section#section 3#mental health act#all the pain killers I was made to take and tried to protest against were against nice guidelines for chronic pain#and I was told to just not think about being in pain and I should focus on being productive instead#like I didn’t wish I could do that#like I haven’t been trying to#I won’t go into the psychiatric treatment
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Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met
#Homer!Odysseus: you sacrificed your men to save yourself? Detestable coward! How I wish I was never born if it would ensure you had not the#Epic!Odysseus: you’d understand if you *loved your wife.* But I guess a guy who stayed with Circe for a year wouldn’t know that!#H!Odysseus: do not speak of things you know nothing about! I long for my return to sweet Penelope but I have a duty to my men#E!Odysseus: A YEAR. A WHOLE YEAR. I WOULD KILL ANYTHING AND ANYONE TO GET A HOME A YEAR FASTER#H!Odysseus: that was clear when you served Scylla six men like they were cattle!#E!Odysseus: it was them or me! And don’t keep talking about my friends like you did any better. you’ll go home alone too#H!Odysseus: they doomed themselves when they ate Hyperion’s golden cattle. I am not responsible for their suffering. But you could have ens#H!Odysseus: Now Eurylochus’s body lies at the bottom of the sea where there can be no burial and no honour#E!Odysseus: AND I’LL GO HOME TO MY WIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT LOVELY LOYAL WIFE WHO’S BEEN WAITING FOR ME FOR TWENTY YEARS.#E!Odysseus: and when I go home and she asks if I came back as fast as I could I’ll be able to answer honestly#H!Odysseus: WE HAD BEEN THROUGH MANY TRIALS. THE MEN NEEDED TO REST#E!Odysseus: FOR A YEAR???? DID THEY NEED TO REST FOR A YEAR??? AND DID THEY NEED THAT REST RIGHT AFTER A MONTH’S LONG REST WITH AEOLUS??? S#H!Odysseus: IF YOU WISHED FOR ITHACA SO DESPERATELY WHY DIDN’T YOU OBEY PALLAS ATHENA AND KILL THE CYCLOPS#E!Odysseus: *drawing sword* I WAS HAVING A ROUGH DAY#Epic the musical#Epic odysseus#The odyssey#odysseus#Homer#Greek mythology#Jorge rivera-herrans#nuclear war speaks
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Pokemon Masters’ new photoshoot feature is so much fun lol
#Rei was not ready for the photo he’s halfway through a blink#I LOVE THE PHOTO FEATURE A LOT ITS SO FUN#I do feel limited by it though#I’d like to see if we could add pokemon to it as well one day#and I wish we could rotate characters around 360° and zoom them in and out further than we already can#but I understand why we can’t lol#BUT I STILL LOVE THIS FEATURE A LOT#and the title feature is so fun too!!#still waiting for that hashtag system to see what that’s like though unless it’s already come out and I just didn’t notice lol#scheduled post feature I am once again putting my trust in you please post right on the hour
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Trying to decide if I want Avery as a medical doctor or a university professor in my Sea and Sky AU… I’m honestly leaning teacher, but, um. Both have their. Charms. ////
#I almost didn’t share this tbh because it’s such a mess#but this is all I have time for so…#oh well#I’ve really been thinking about Finn and my other characters I don’t use as often lately#there’s this comic I want to make but it just seems so daunting#and I’ve honestly been really emotionally erratic the past few days#scribbly tickles really… get me through shit… I mostly do this when I know I can’t put forth my best effort for things I care about more#like meaningful projects and art trades#I know it probably seems like lighthearted scenes means that I’m not struggling#but I really struggle more than I let on sometimes#and I think I actually do let on quite a lot and probably more than I should#I’m kind of a mess of a person at times#I’m okay - honestly#I wish I could be cool and aloof and inscrutable… temper how much I love people and how much I share#but I’ve always played with an open hand and I don’t know how to be any other way#anyway#tickle tags#that’s what I’m supposed to do here#fluffyart#tickling#lee!finn#compliance trope#tickling art#tickle art#avery nimbus#tickle#sea and sky au
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…
#im so sorry guys but if you think solas stabbing varric was unintentional or an accident you are smoking dicks#sure he didn’t go there intending to stab him but acting like it was a whoopsie in self defense genuinely contradicts his character#like he is confirmed to canonically kill his friends and feel bad about it#identify your goals and do nothing that does not further them#source: the masked empire#im usually very content to let people live with their silly woobified headcanons#and i don’t want beef which is why im hiding this in tags LMAO and I won’t be tagging it as solas or anything#but I fear people are going to be genuinely shocked and disappointed when the game comes out if they keep mischarscterizing him as perfect#and morally perfect and that everything he does is right#THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT HES NOT???? BUT HES SOMEONE WE CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH DESPITE IT!!!!#we are supposed to sympathize with him despite the horrible things he’s done#that’s the lesson that’s why rook is so clearly embarking down the same path of mistakes and regret#people are so obsessed with defending him from haters that they erase him of any moral complexity to make him completely above reproach#I wish tumblr had a close friends list like twitter so I could post this there LMFAOOOO
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“What’s this one supposed to mean?”
“Hmm..beauty or strength, sometimes.”
“Perfect.”
@sketchbookweek Day 2 - Wilderness / Witchcraft
going back to my roots of drawing sketchbook being gay in a field
#update I’m doing the silly coloured speech bc I realised i didn’t make it super clear who’s saying what jjghgd#Hilda sketchbook#sketchbookweek#hilda the series#sketchbook ship#art tag#sooo this was the first drawing I did for skbk week and let me tell you guys#it fought me. every. step of the way#i spent like 3 evenings working on the sketch just to scrap it and redo it on the next one#I’m so rusty with art I haven’t been able to do anything remotely ambitious in so long sooo yeah :’)everyone lower your expectations please#however I do think this came out kinda nice#spiritually I guess it’s a redraw of that drawing from 2020 so seeing a bit of improvement is nice anyway#i love these prompts btw I wish I could’ve done both#the flower is a jasmine btw. every website on the internet had a different idea of its meaning so I picked the ones I liked 😌#is it worth mentioning that I had some doodles I wanted to post for day 1 but I literally could not get them done on time :’)#an attempt was made but ah well. onto the next
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People say I look happy just because I got skinny
but the old me is still me and maybe the real me, and I think she’s pretty
#I’m really resonating with these lyrics atm#I’m getting skinnier and everyone is like “you look so great! I’m so glad to see you doing better”#like I’m not doing better#I have a fucking ed and I wish I didn’t#Younger me had no care in the world about the way they looked and I wish I could be like that again#people fucking ruined me and my self esteem#especially my sisters#they didn’t mean to but they fucked me up about my weight#beth rants#song lyrics#sorry for this post :(
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Chat would you still love me if I started posting Abigale Blackwing x Jessamine Delilah Gulch yuri
Click for Quality!
#yes I know they didn’t have tiktok in the early 1900s#but I saw the original image and was like ‘omg…. this is so them#aria draws#digital art#digital drawing#fanart#shitpost#oc#oc art#meme redraw#gravity falls#gf#gravity falls fanart#gf fanart#abigale blackwing#jessamine delilah gulch#father tinsley o’pimm#tinsley o’pimm#anti-cipher society#anti cipher society#the anti cipher society#the anti-cipher society#they’re doomed yuri btw. since Abigale gets trapped in a marriage with a northwest.#I bet she writes about how she ‘wishes she were a man’ so she could have ‘eloped with dear Jessamine’#I should write a journal page from her perspective doing that
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the day the earth stood still is the day i felt your presence leave it, and then every day after that.
#tw grief#sigh sigh sigh.#apologies in advance as this is not the happiest yap ! i would just like to write out some of my feelings on this day#the heaviest heart weighs under an insurmountable amount of grief — the ghost of love#days like today are a twisted reminder that has every emotion flooding through your soul#longing . guilt . anger . an indescribable melancholy that could only be consoled through the sands of time#a year ago i lost my best guy friend and it’s never really gotten easier . but ive heard it never does#all i can do is bundle up the love i have for him and search for him in the clouds that take up the sky#the circumstances around his passing will never not haunt me and rather than go into it all i’d like to say is this#if you have a loved one or a relationship or a friendship you cherish .. then never ever stop fighting for it - for them.#as time never really seems to be on our side#each day i’ll live as he intended . to greet the world with kindness and a smile and passion for positivity#in his wisest words (or rather after every phone call we’d have hehe) i’ll try my best to stay awesome & encourage you all to do so as well#if you’ve read this then i’m taking your hand and thanking you#it didn’t feel right not acknowledging him at all on this blog . he’s the one that introduced me to anime + more importantly : one piece#i wish i could talk to him about it all so he could see how far down this rabbit hole i fell just as he had done#will be spending the day enjoying his favorite episodes and being gentle with the world that surrounds us#this is not like my usual yaps & i feel vulnerable posting it but i wanted to carve out a space for him on this blog#forever missing the connie to my sasha . maybe in another universe we’ll get it right#have a wonderful sunday my sweet friendz and if you can — hug your loved ones & blow a kiss up to the sky 🤍💫#thank you for being here & helping me make this a safe place .#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims
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Defending Hakubo online isn’t enough, I need boxing gloves
#people on tiktok just make shit up abt him i hate it#and i understand how his story could be interpreted weirdly but WHY would you WANT to interpret it that way#to me it seems like a lot of fans didn’t want to like him to begin with so they took up any reasons to hate him#it’s weird to call the only black character a groomer#like shut the fuck up do you understand what you’re insinuating rn???#oh and these same ppl will murder you if you believe anything weird is happening with the yugi twins#because when literally any other character is brought up suddenly media literacy matters#and why is the “nobody has to like him” argument only ever used for poc characters#like sure you’re right but nobody has to like teru aoi akane nene kou mitsuba or hanako either#yet you’ll attack ppl for misunderstanding them#it’s obvious that a lot of fans have no interest in understanding hakubo so i wish they’d at least keep their mouths shut#hakubo#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jibaku shounen hanako kun#jshk#hakusumi#because i love them dearly
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hi friends hi teo nation i come to you with tail between my legs i am unfortunately still alive
#i wish i could kill myself by the end of the year but the logistics are wayyy off so i’ll be a pest for a while i guess#I would be lying if i said i missed tumblr i really didn’t but yk me i have to change one social media with another so drumroll please#i’ve been posting my moodboards on tiktok literally for me myself and I. Fun activity my pinterest is already gorgeous i was like well might#as well. So yeah whatever i have an oooold queue paused i might restart it again but yeah other than that. Hope everyone is doing well 🫶🏻💞 i#am definitely not but even after i said everyone irl i feel worthless people are like Oh you crazy girl like don’t u get it i am one bad day#from ya knooooow. omfg okay you see this is why i deleted tumblr like actually writing my thoughts like no one cares miss literally no one#you are 26 get a grip etc etc. I should probably answer some asks#tt
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ALSO!!!!!! HAPPY FIVE YEARS ANNIVERSARY TO THIS ICONIC INTRO!!!!!!!💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
#this is vee speaking#HYPMIC NEEDS TO GO BACK TO DOING LORE DROPS DURING LIVES AGAIN THIS WAS SO SICK#LIKE IDK ABOUT YOU BUT IF I HAD THE BAT SEIYUU WALKED INTO MY LIFE LIKE THIS ID NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THEM#(⬅️had the bat seiyuu show up like this in their debut hypnama stream and in the 5th live and since hasn’t shut up about them LOL)#i didn’t record it but also when chiaking-sama rudely told them to get off the stage lmao the way hayama-san scoffed at her hrrrrggnnffffgf#and the exited stage left while laughing like the villains they really could have been HHHHRRRRRRGGHGHHGRRGGGRRFFRFRFGGFGFG#THE CROWD BECOMING BREATHLESS WHENEVER THE KUUKOU VOICE WENT LOW#THE CROWD SCREAMING ‘KAWAII’ AT SAKAKIHARA-SANS REAL VOICE#THE CROWD INTRIGUED THE MOMENT TAKEUCHI-SAN STARTED TALKING BUT LAUGHING AT HITOYAS DISTASTE FOR FRUITS IN HIS SALAD LMAO#ITS THE PRECURSOR BRO LOL!!!! THE START OF IT ALL WAS RIGHT THERE!!!!!!#i really really miss the 4th live frfr 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i wish i didn’t break out in hive watching hypmic content without bat for prolonged periods of time lol 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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ok but can we talk how in Legendary, Antinous asked a question. he’s being as rude as possible but “when’s your tramp of a mother going to chose a new husband” is a question. a question that Telemachus does not want to answer. and yeah, the immediate follow up of “why don’t you open her room so we can have fun with her” makes it seem rhetorical, but rhetorical or not, it’s definitely a question. and I’ve always wondered why Telemachus is offended by ‘tramp’ when the ‘why don’t you open her room’ thing is a million times worse.
But what if Telemachus wasn’t offended that Antinous called Penelope a tramp? The suitors have probably been saying stuff like that for ten years, he’s used to it. What if, more than anything else, Telemachus wanted to make them forget about the question they asked? What if he was just trying to distract them?
#“And it’s not much longer WE can stall” WE!!!!! WE!!!!! HE IS HELPING PENELOPE STALL!!!! HE IS DOING THE STALLING!!!#more evidence for my ’Telemachus is just as smart as his parents’ theory#also the ‘I got into a fight and i didn't die :D’ line actually supports this. he thought he was going to get beaten up.#he thought he was going to be pathetic. he thought he’d be lucky to leave the situation without a concussion#he knew he didn’t have a chance. He did it anyways. he had to have a reason#i do NOT think that reason was “I wish I was more like my father.” evidence? “and I would fight them all if I was half as strong as you”#he’s not as strong as his father!! he knows that!!! he can’t fight!!! if he could he would fight them!!#he knows there’s no point!!! he’s doing it anyway!!! he’s using the Ithacan Royal Family special: deception✨✨#*grabs you by the shoulders* do you understand? do you understand that Telemachus is an active part of his mother’s deception?#that he wants Ody home as much as everyone else? that he’ll keep stalling for his mother even if his father’s dead??#do you understand? do you?????#little wolf#epic telemachus#the wisdom saga#the wisdom saga spoilers#epic the wisdom saga spoilers#nuclear war speaks
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It’s official! Based on the results of my recent polls, the hottest version of Ichigo (according to Grimmjow) and the hottest version of Grimmjow (according to Ichigo) are…
*drumroll*
Hybrid Ichigo and TYBW Grimmjow!
Convenient they’re in the same arc lmao
#king’s court#bleach#grimmichi#ichigo kurosaki#grimmjow jaegerjaquez#I honestly thought vasto lorde or mugetsu ichigo might pull ahead at some point#and I am (unsurprisingly) disappointed cacao society Grimm didn’t get more votes#but this was fun!!#maybe I’ll do more polls in the future#I wish I could art because it would’ve been cool to have like a banner of these two done for the results#especially since Grimmjow didn’t get to see hybrid Ichigo and I know he’s seething with envy over it
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the other day i walked around the golden lake w my love and the sun was setting hot and orange and we watched a brown duck preening through the weeds, ducking her head under the dark water. the cool lake swallowed up my tired feet to the ankles and we counted the dog walkers with their curly panting doodles and their handsome german shepherds and their whip smart little terriers and we admired the careful construction of a sand castle whose moat held determinedly against the lapping of the waves. we could feel in our chests the persistent thunderous thumping of celebratory music at the finish line of the lakeside 5k, welcoming each gasping runner across its bounds. and i felt like crying. i felt like curling into myself and crying. we walked through the swamp of the bird sanctuary afterwards and listened to the woods sing and croak and groan and then we went and got ube and yuzu gelato and devoured it suntired and sweating on the couch in our living room. and i was so overcome w a deep and true unshakeable happiness and a sort of confused grief that i wanted to sob and sob and sob.
#i am so happy for the first time in my entire life#a consistent and true joyfulness#i am in love w my life#i want to stick around to see it#and i mean that w my entire being for the first time in my whole life#and to say that means confronting the first 24 years of my life where that wasn’t true#where i was miserable and heartbroken and unkind and dishonest and cruel#and i didn’t want to be alive#even when i was doing well i still didn’t want to be alive#for 24 years.#i had no fucking idea being alive could be so easy. i had no idea.#i want to hold myself and tell them i want to wrap myself up and say it will be BETTER#it will be so so far from perfect but it will be so so good you just have to hold on#i am so happy but i am mourning#i don’t know how to articulate it at all i just feel#happy but grieving#i LOVE this new city we live in i LOVE it here#i like my job enough to stand it for enough hours a week to get by#i have the time and the energy to throw myself into hobbies like knitting and cooking#i watch one or two good movies a week#i eat delicious food i’ve made and from restaurants we want to try#i’m IN LOVE. with my girlfriend in a way that’s so overwhelming and unlike anything i’ve ever felt that words don’t do it justice#i have friends who are gentle and patient with me when it’s hard for me to reach out#i am fighting agoraphobia tooth and fucking nail and i’m seeing the world and experiencing it#i laugh every day!!!! every single day!!!!#i have a goofy wonderful dog and an incredibly sweet cat#i talk to my baby brother all the time and he tells me he loves me and he’s graduating college soon and i’m so fucking proud#i wish i would’ve known how good it would all become#i wish i could’ve known#personal
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(Leo speaking to Hephaestus:)
Leo: I used to think I was creative. I used to think I was smart. I used to take pride in the things I invented. But it’s just you, isn’t it? Everything I’m good at, everything I like about myself, it’s just your powers I inherited. If I wasn’t your son, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this. I wouldn’t be good at anything.
Leo: I thought that I had earned this. That I had learned when my mom taught me about machines, that I had built my abilities myself. But it’s all just shortcuts and fakery. It’s just god magic. It’s not real. It’s not mine.
#like it’s one thing if your power is water attack or turn into bees or something inhuman#but I imagine a lot of demigods have crises like this one#with powers that enhance qualities they already had so they’ll never know who they would have been without a god making them ‘better’#like if Annabeth’s power is her intellegence? she can’t even take credit for her own mind (by this logic)#for a non-charmspeaking Aphrodite kid with a less unnatural level of making people like them?#when you can’t tell what is and isn’t magical affects then how do you know anyone would ever like you for your normal non-goddy self?#what about Hypnos kids who wish they didn’t constantly feel tired and could manage to Do more with their lives?#like imagine your special magic godly enhancement is Cannot Stay Awake and it’s a struggle to complete even simple tasks. thanks I guess.#there’s probably examples I’m not thinking of#but powers that enhance rather than add??? it’s like there’s parts of your identity that don’t belong to you#at least that’s how I would feel about it probably#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#leo valdez#hoo leo#pjo hephaestus
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