#like I also have some characters I hate but I'm not going around and talking shit about them
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Like seriously, I'm so tired of people hating on Gil (even though sometimes it's quite justified and sometimes I hate him too) but also not accepting him outside fsn trilogy or treating him like completely different entity or treating his character development like something bad or saying that it was made just for profit. And yeah, sure, the last bit is technically true, because of his character popularity Nasu decided to give him a backstory, give him some depth and meaning instead of just leaving him the way he was, a shallow villain from eroge game, so why treating this development like it's a bad thing?
#like I just don't understand such selectiveness and rejection#like I also have some characters I hate but I'm not going around and talking shit about them#and I could've written that Garden of Avalon was made because Saber got popular as well or whatever#like I'm honestly and legit happy that Nasu decided to take some time#maybe even reread Epic and rewrite or more correctly finished writing Gilgamesh's character#and I think he managed to do a pretty good job#which also lines up with the plot of the epic where Gilgamesh starts as merciless tyrant#and later on after his long life journey turns into benevolent king#personal#my ramblings#and yeah sorry for venting
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Im neither a proshipper nor an anti at this current stage in life, but at one point i was an anti i guess? And I hate it say it, but looking back, I understand why. I don't think I actually gave a fuck about Harmful Fanfic or whatever, it was just a substitute for therapy that i couldn't get at the time (because "literally neurodivergent and a minor" or whatever, but like...actually literally neurodivergent and a minor LOL).
As weird as it sounds like, no one cared about my ACTUAL PAIN, and that made me feel EVEN MORE PAIN, so i took it out on ppl who shipped "abuse", or whatever.
It's so stupid now, as an adult who is mentally better than I was then, but as ridiculous as it was, seeing someone ship an "abusive" ship or a "queer erasing ship" (like a canonically gay character with someone of the other binary gender)...it felt eerily similar to the actual abuse I was facing and the stress that everyone was putting on me to find a boyfriend or ask why my (closeted lesbian) self didn't like any boys.
But it was so much easier to keyboard warrior about how people who ship Bad things are Bad people, than it was to fix any problems in my actual life because...well, the actual problems in my life COULDN'T be fixed. That isn't a learned helplessness thing, there was genuinely nothing I could've done. So pissing off Shippers was, like, a vessel for that, and it *felt* like I was getting to lash out at the same people who were ACTUALLY hurting me, even though that obviously is not the case. Funny thing is, it wasn't actual fandom discourse that made me switch sides, it was getting to learn more about youth liberation movements and stuff, because it was then that I recognized the actual structures that were making me hurt.
I think one silver lining is it's made me more compassionate an adult. While I don't have any defense for the antis who do actual horrendous stuff like doxxing or sending death/rape threats, etc, I do have a lot of defense for the ones who were like me and would just make posts talking about how Wrong it is to ship certain things. I know that not all antis are in the same place that I was once was, and some are just genuinely immature brats, but it's like. . . I get it, you know?
The cycle of abuse/bullying is weird and it's not often a 1:1 "I had an abusive parent so now i'll be an abusive parent", sometimes it's the chronically online stuff like I did. It's also why I'm careful-careful to not engage and to just block or, even try to have a mature discussion if I can, and if the person I'm talking to is just "a little bit annoying" rather than "actual bully doing/sending illegal stuff". A lot of them just want to be heard, I think, and it really makes me sad that this is the way they choose to be heard...but also i get it, because i was that.
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Yup. We often discuss anti tendencies in this framework.
People want control over their environment when they have none. They want the world to make sense and for there to be simple rules they can follow to Never Mess Up. This is a very common reaction to trauma and also typical of brains that like order and neat boxes and a world full of justice and logic.
The trouble is that a critical mass of "I'm just pointing this out" type posts does tend to make all the other teens with an issue around moral scrupulosity implode. (And let's be real, plenty of the antis themselves are secretly into dark content and are trying to pray the gay kink away.)
I have some sympathy, but I'm still going to tell people they're sealioning when they are and tell them they're flat out wrong about how fantasies work, not sugar coat it because they're probably a delicate teen. There's no need to be excessively mean or treat people as irredeemable, but I also don't like how we talk endlessly about compassion for teen antis and not for teens targeted by antis. It's similar to how there are all those complaints like "Hey, I work hard to manage my mental illness, but all the support seems to go to people who are letting their issues rampage..."
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2x02, part 2.
the way Sevika is STILL loyal to Silco, even though he's dead and she doesn't have to. i saw some spoilers, but I'll say this as if I haven't: the way she doesn't like Jinx, never did, but tried to help Silco understand Jinx being upset and how she'll get around. she's loyal to Silco, therefore she's loyal to Jinx.
gosh, I love Sevika. she truly is trying her best to fill Silco's place. she was his loyal guard dog for a damn good reason.
her expressions!! let's go, Sevika, let's go. the animation is so good. it's so subtle, so smooth, you gotta pay attention to the frames.
there's something so special about both Sevika and Jinx still hanging out at Silco's office, and both Sevika and Jinx talking to Silco. i'm pretty sure Sevika didn't know that Jinx is there, so she spoke out loud, but she knew where to aim WITHOUT HURTING JINX (!!) because Jinx hang up there often enough for Sevika to remember.
listen, I have 4 favourite characters in this series and that always was the case: Silco, Jinx, Sevika, VIktor. i love them with all my heart. Sevika was always such a great character & she deserves way more love.
poetic cinema.
just shows how truly important he was, what a strong grip he had on Zaun.
i like how when Sevika throws a piece of furtinure in her outburst, Jinx doesn't even BLINK, not to mention flinch. the way they are connected to Silco and how well they truly fit (for the lack of a better word) him.
the little scowl. babygirl, i love you so much.
baby girl. baby. this is such a cool little representation of how their process looks before they draw frame by frame/animate the thing to look smooth.
i hope Jinx kicks their asses. the fact that she's coughing but she can STILL breathe in this, just like Silco did when others couldn't. take off your masks, assholes, let's see how you can handle this gas.
honestly, Vi, this is such a dirty move. you never wanted to accept that Powder was always Jinx and Jinx was always Powder. Silco loved Jinx. you? maybe, in your own way, but maybe, mostly, the idea of your little sister? because Silco would NEVER do this. he accepted Jinx for who she always was and is. if he didn't, he wouldn't allow her all those things that got him in trouble and never wouldn't give her all the materials and all the playground that she wanted.
the coughing, crying, screaming fit. i'm so :_; for her.
"Baby Blue. Right through their fingers. You must be part eel."
And you must be a whole piece of shit, beating Jinx with such hatred for all those years you couldn't bring hard to her because of Silco.
i just want to hug her and hold her tight. she's the best girl ever.
LET'S GO, THE TWO CLOSEST PEOPLE TO SILCO EVER. LET'S GOOO.
i LOVE that Sevika tried to use Jinx's gun, but Junx fixed Sevika's arm, so they exchanged the weapons. Sevika managed not to only throw Jinx her gun, but managed to catch the arm. i also love that Jinx can shoot that gun without even looking. this is a symbiotic relationship that i currently ADORE.
i'm in love with this. <3
this is adorable and made me smile so much.
the smirk. the music. the babiest baby of all babies (the baddest bitches ever).
i'm pretty sure Sevika will hate the adjustments that Jinx made to her arm but hey. it's a free fix :D it's almost 2 am and here i am, smiling. i love this show so much. i didn't know i could have so much fun with it without Silco. it's a new vibe completely.
this is BADASS.
there are SO many expressions in this little scene, i couldn't possibly fit it into this post. yeah, i'm completely in love with this so far.
babygirl, please, i am begging you, destroy Vi. Silco aka her family is gone, Vi is being an asshole to her, so she's ready, more or less. let's fucking GO.
love seeing Jinx and Sevika communicating. love the "you've got that look in your eye again, what are you planning?" which simply shows you how well she knows Jinx.
also,
"i haven't asked you for this" "it was something I could fix."
aka it was no trouble for her. she loves the mechanical stuff. she does it with ease. Sevika's strong side is the brains and brutal force, so they work well together.
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Can't stop thinking about fnv ocs so I'm gonna ramble about them alllll
Jasper: He's my courier who's yes man aligned. He tries to be extremely upbeat and cheerful (think, useless ray of sunshine). He always tries to see the best in people's which means he's very good at getting scammed. If someone were to overcharge him for some medicine he would go "aw must have taken them so much time and effort to produce, and they're offering it to me, worth every cap :)" He also will see actual horrors unfolding and still try to see the good in a person. Like in Nipton seeing Vulpes. Whilst horrified at the crimes, he looks at him and goes "oh :( what made you this way. You can be better. I'm sorry they made you like this" despite the fact that the whole town is actively on fire. He believes in peace and diplomacy but can be a huge pushover. However he is extremely good at bandaging wounds. If he didn't get shot in the head and demand answers, he'd be a doctor.
August: My legion frumentarii who hates the legion! He got taken by the legion when his village was invaded. He's not violent by nature. But he knew that being peaceful would lead to his death. He did what he could to survive and discovered his knack for spying. Allowing him to become a frumentarii, he was pleased, hoping he wouldn't have to kill anymore. He was extremely devastated when he found out this wasn't always the case. A skilled actor. He uses this to his advantage, if he had his way, he would be performing on stage in many shows. Has a habit of taking notes on everything he sees. This has a tendency to wind up the other people around him.
Noah: Originally a joke character between me and a friend who became his own decently serious character. He works for the NCR designing propaganda for them. He likes being left alone and drawing hunched over. Has a strange relationship with the legion, as he knows he should despise them, but he has friends and family who are surviving in there. So he believes there must still be good people in there somewhere, despite the atrocities. In his propaganda, he will draw people who loosely resemble those who got taken by the legion so that on the off chance those people see the posters, they know he's still thinking of them.
Claire: Noah's older sister and dedicated NCR soldier. She takes extreme pride in serving the NCR and is passionate about following all orders to a T. She attacks most tasks with a frightening zeal and many are pleased she's on their side. Unlike her brother, she holds nothing but disgust for the legion for taking her family and friends, and vows to crush the legion to prevent anyone else going through the same fate as her loved ones. Every time there is a potential chance for a NCR and Legion clash. She is the first to volunteer to step in.
Ferox: My horrible horrible centurion, he holds the legion in high regards and vehemently believes in their ideals. Ruthless and bloodthirsty, he has little in the way of friends in the legion due to his offputting and intimidating air. He doesn't mind. As he believes that he is the most loyal person in the legion and everyone else is below him, he refuses to talk to anyone he believes is "lesser" than him. His violent nature and arrogance make him highly detested and feared in and out of the legion. From the same village as August, he fought hard to survive, but came to appreciate the legion over time, losing sight of how he even got there in the first place. Claire later defeats him. (Which is good because I hate him and he's only a character so I can practice writing awful people)
#shroom says things#fallout new vegas#fnv#fnv ocs#sorry for the rambling#it will happen again#oc: jasper#oc: august (augustus)#oc: Claire#oc: Noah#oc: Ferox
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
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killer should know about dumb video game meta stuff ike i-frames and animation cancels and critting amd breaking out of bounds and use it to his advantage in fights. maybe he learned it from chara in something new as a silly little thing to try out because theyre already teaching him all this bullshit on killing so whos to say a video game character cant learn a player's cheats?? he's already interacted and collaborated with a player before i think its fair he knows tricks on how to cheat undertale's fighting system
everything's all fine and dandy in a fight against killer (no it isn't) until you see him glitching around and somehow phasing through your attacks. he looks ridiculous but it gets the job done
#i have no idea if any of these mechanics are actually IN undertale#theyre just some ones i came up with in games i play#i mean if they don't exist in the ut fighting just like. pretend they do idk????#i just think it would be cool if killer could do that. he fights dirty and when i mean dirty i mean totally cheating#SANS UNDERTALE CHEATS WHY CANT HE!!!! but he gets to cheat in a more game breaking way#when you fight killer there is no YOUR turn and HIS turn its ALWAYS his turn. and youre just helplessly attacking during it#guys in this one im not talking about meta awareness im talking about loser META strats. most effective tactics available#stage 4 chara wins ahh acting like a goddamn sweaty gamer. because what am i supposed to interpret with chara wins????#chara wins means NOTHING to me??? i can only assume that it means killer either acts like chara or fully listens to whatever chara wans#boo boo boring im a VIDEO GAME PLAYER not a goddamn psychiatrist. i will always choose the more fun option#killer becoming like chara/player is infinitely more cool than him and all the psychological stuff going on in stage 4 to b obeying orders#yeahhhh like sure there probably IS a bunch of crazy stuff in stage 4 related to psychology but also#unga booga character act like YOU cool idea. besides stage 4 is almost never elaborated on#so to me that's up to personal interpretation. everything is personal interpretation if not brought up#i say as i make the most ridiculous unfathomable headcanons for the mtt just because the topics aren't mentioned#I HAVE FREE WILL I HAVE FREE WILL MY MIND HAS FREEDOM I CAN POST ANYTHING I THINK ABOUT#ok thank god because i hate having to worry about my posts#ok i dont have anything left to say about this hc so im bringing up SOMETHING NEW (haha)#killer reminds me of I'm High!!! by maretu. except replace all mentions of a girl with w a person for chara#and somehow manage to work around the mentions of love and romance. because i really really dont wanna make killer into a kid diddler#but aside from the mentions of love and specific gende??? i think it fits!!#ugh so many songs fit killer ITS NOT FAIR!!!! i can NEVER find songs for horror.... am i not looking hard enough ☹️☹️☹️#im hard#actually i found a song that fits horror lets GOOOO maretu coming in clutch with NAMIDA ‼️‼️#dokuhaku does too :3 maretu my glorious king how many great songs of yours fit the murder time trio#killer sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv#tricule hc
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#the PROBLEM is. some properties I like I cannot even talk about my Criticisms™ because if I do it attracts people whose side I am NOT on#like in the case of a certain british procedural show adopting old mystery novels that went on hiatus a lot. I did not like season 4.#but that is not because The Ship didn't go canon and it CERTAINLY wasn't because I never thought any of the show was good in#the first place. and I don't like The Main Ship of the c-chibs era but it's because the way it was written was VERY much not for me.#it's not because I think the whole era is trash (that ship was really the ONLY part of it I didn't like I loved everything else)#I DO have beef with some of the choices in season 8 of The Gritty Deconstruction Fantasy Show but they sure weren't ANY of the issues#that anyone else had!!! and I don't think it retroactively ruined the whole show actually!!!!!#like it's just so frustrating. especially since sometimes I DO want to break down what I consider to be unfortunate writing choices.#and I DO want to complain sometimes! but so much of the discussion around various properties is taken up by me just.#trying to explain that I'm allowed to like it in the first place and defending why I don't think it's Unconditionally Bad#so I can't ever like. for example. discuss the deaths in 8x03 and my issues with THOSE as character endpoints#or why they killed mary and had her husband act terribly to her for no reason just before she died#or how shitty it was in the last era for me to see ANOTHER character be mentally ill but in the most unobtrusive palatable way possible#(and then also make that really weird comment about a previous love interest??? who WAS unpalatable in many ways--though not like.#canonically mentally ill. even if I and many other people are drawn to that interpretation.)#perHAPS I want to talk about my confusion over the story's handling of j/d for reasons that are not 'I hate these characters' or#'that's pRoBLeMaTiC and you shouldn't ship it because that's pRoBLeMaTiC'#maybe I WILL just make a 4-hour video essay unpacking all my Thoughts™ on that show. because people don't have to watch it!#they could just hit the back button!
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being alive at the time i gleaned some general elements abt encanto but never actually heard we don't talk about bruno beyond awareness it existed popping off & i think i heard like the title recited off key off rhythm but in a way that indicates speak singing nonetheless lol so upon experiencing it it's like oh but it's the Verses? while the last refrain goes harder but prior to that it's comparatively underwhelming to said verses which feels appropriate like verses / pieces of a larger picture & that a "we don't talk about him" as a disappointing Lid on infinitely richer more characterful & dynamic "but: talking about him" instances. like well personally it'd be like um seven foot frame....anyway besides being able to firsthand go like oh damn Real (the kind of thing you know exists if alive at the time) it's like alright hang on lol. one thing when a core theme is yeah like "is it a refuge if 'especial' vulnerability ultimately gets pushed out rather than made safer" subset like the parties whose even observation of truths (problems) & drawing attention to them is seen as Ruining Things, like if you're painted as Making futures that aren't simply what's desired or reassuring rather than a guidance via just observing & sharing the truth. but then it's like whaddaya mean living in fear of bruno stuttering and stumbling you could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling lmao like now that's just Association between the Truth Perceiving & Telling behavior & behavior that's just apparently distinctive of the same person. & like Not Accidentally when [what if people were magic] specifics are obviously primarily abt a metaphorical meaning & like, indeed it was made clear like oh this situation isn't Just b/c [boo we hate your prophecies] & that [an Ability that isn't directed towards what anyone Wants / is "weird" even by these magic standards] isn't Coincidentally given to someone who just so happens to already be "weird" in other ways & be set up to have a different perspective & be pushed away due to having the supposed "extra" vulnerability of unmet needs / insufficient support, same as someone who doesn't "correctly" have any kind of magic ability....like yeah banger and also like Oh Yeah Kind Of Devastating re: that metaphorical resonance allowing for like [set the metaphor aside] now hang on with this about this disabled family member lol. misinterpretation to The Ruinerrr / The Problemmm / The Maliciousss etc (i.e. the scapegoatinggg) despite their efforts likely entirely to the contrary. then despite like, efforts aside, Just Existing, always kind of muttering & mumbling like & what of it. & then like oh sorry weird pets. weird [auspicious for adaptable tenacious thriving surviving; either way simply creatures, existing] pets.
truly like As Is The Idea I'm Sure quickly becomes like hands behind back standing at the window Uh Oh Sisters musing on all the [disabled person] metaphorical & already literal elements there. blair witching it in contemplation like We've All Been There whether being so resented for the mere disruption of "existing in a group as the 'abnormal' odd one out" or like people talking shit abt anything associated w/you as soon as you've left the room, which is also made relevant like, this wasn't Only directed at this person when seemingly permanently gone, nor were they unaware / unaffected prior....pacing in the Musing parlor like things don't Have to be compared to billions but i only ever even see so many things & it's like billions sure is like "get scapegoated rword" & then said scapegoating is presented as only beneficial & we hate autists & even beyond that it's like, grabbing billions, Imagine If Things Meant To Be About Something Were About Something. quite a contrast when they are & furthermore like, deliberate thought & Care for [who gets scapegoated & why] & the truth of like, people getting pushed aside & out who have a key perspective & are primed / liable to come through for others similarly vulnerable & the supposedly Ruinous, Problems Generating disruptiveness is actually the strongest effort to make essential changes to a group. & come through with like, it'd be undermining thee point if it was "reassuring" us like oh haha people will be supportive b/c bruno will be more normal, so great that it Didn't like no, no Normality Reassurance(tm), presence of abnormalities(tm), Good, & everyone Can Deal b/c if you don't then it's pushing this person away, is exactly what happens, including even if they're still Around but are being mistreated b/c that is entirely part of that pushing away like anyone's victim blaming is ready to pounce at any time but if someone can't stand to stay / leaves b/c they can't see another option like that's not out of nowhere nor Regardless of what full support & flexibility they were getting lol. these Active Measures everyone loves so much, which are everywhere always & would include Staying & Trying To Make It Work & those efforts would be "disruptive" & resented & Bringing It On Oneself & etccc smh
that is to all say like. Woww when clearly basically the core thread was these beats of like, the crucial site of [thee scapegoated], & why that comes down on someone & how that plays out. endless ideas about how someone weird(tm) & disabled (&/or queer. but there's no Or here lol. & again like it's a Context like, to even be the one person without kids? likely not living up to "full" correct sexuality in that way alone; any oppression's logics of "inferiority" being logics of ableism, ready examples being that "inferior" race, gender, sexuality (& their experiences as people classed as inferior) all being pathologized as disordered) are seen & treated as someone Ruining Things & who cannot belong like whew. bracing. winding. which, i also recall like i was watching with headphones & during this one dialogue pause i was like "?? what's this Extra Sound i heard there" & had to go over it like twice before being hit upside the head like well it Was still the dialogue pause but it was also bruno Stuttering in a very quiet whisper for the duration of that pause before continuing like iiiiiiii x_x
#[sitting waiting right here] for billions to have its vulnerable weird scapegoated misfit outcasts actually band together lmao....#like Sure Doesn't b/c billions is like we all hate weirdos & we all love telling them to shut tf up & go away to die or w/e. correctly#can't believe ultimately the Different fund disappears w/o its scapegoat & the Correct ''weird'' char is full axe cap mode finally#& it's sure not a Comment when billions affectionately gives them their free heavenly reward & Ensure zero scapegoating consequences#the [imagine if something about something was about something] approach to Banished Relatives being thoughtful & loving like#& here you see how even As they're banished everything isn't Really fixed for it incl. that people aren't Really just happy he's gone#billions is like no we killed him And everyone has gladly & legitimately forgotten he exists (save the instant it's time to use him)#the hilarious(tm) tragedies surrounding rian like billions' can't make her ''care'' abt winston be anything save more violence#can't pretend rian was anything more than [again we all Know your nads like w/taylor like w/winston] bagina + dialogue source combo in s6#when it's still dimly relevant for prince in s7 but you miss Nothing re: rian if you have no idea that plotline exists#& speaking of actual ''weirdness'' rian was never allowed to have: the tragedy of the tension of Closeted Transness present on screen fr#just as billions has no idea / further willingness to let rian be so ''weird'' as to actually care abt winston or abt not being a bully Lol#meanwhile i figured like oh i'll like a scapegoat. did know ahead of time like bruno's just some guy; not even ''redeemable'' antagonist#but In Practice & w/all that beloved Disabledness & crucial appreciation like you Need this guy; the understanding is Key#like well ofc i would kill for him. ofc just constant like mhm go off king slay fire etc. god tier character cherished forever thanks#but then also like im sure a zillion [intention; inspiration; thoughts] going into Tfw Family Things characters; a zillion interpretions &#thoughts to follow like it truly is Arresting like this clarity on A Disabled Person In The Group like. much much to consider & whew.#reference point like when autistic ppl in some job see an obvious [problem to future mess] pipeline; so you know bruno madrigal. My Vision#When You're So Hated like hey i wanna live unseen w/my so hated little friends lol. just reread how to disappear completely never be found#when it's like grabbing people Who Cares if someone's being ''obviously'' disabled or weird just as how they are existing godddd#people get so mean like Who Cares just talk to them; be around them. some effort some mind your own business some You're Not Above Them#when it's obviously You like yeah. nonzero but limited applicability like [specifically my own nuclear family] but re: Weird; Disabled#as ever i'll Relate & be like but i probably seem nothing like that. or maybe i am very much like that. kind of difficult to tell b/c like#you Do get the disinterest lol & feedback is Not that familiar / in depth even if positive like well. the emergent So Hated / Scapegoating#noting like if a character just seems refreshingly familiar; Understood; comfortable; fun; what's the odds they're cishet allistic lol....#anyway the epiphany like oh it was figurative blink & you miss it stuttering....did [waiiit] Pace that one off like inhaaale Waugh#in fact i'm sure the Verbalizing Effort has staved off the kind of [thinks about all of it a moment] to go Aauughhh about again#which; again; also something happening 5 yrs in re: the clairvoyant soothsayer autistic neuroqueer quant on the show w/No Thoughts abt it#ppl being invalidated by others having to validate themselves (& others in the same boat); billions going & How We Hate Them For It lol#oh & encanto's [excluded party's effort to partake] tragedy vs billions' [where's winston in this office? this event?] good riddance idc
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jjk men and their red flags
a/n: i'm feeling problematic :> tell me what u think (agree/disagree/add more?) this is all for shits n giggles !! non sorcerer au kinda
kento nanami — (over)protective
but like... to the point where it feels like he's treating you like a child! he doesnt like to see you sweat or even work at all for that matter. he loves it when you cook but has bought covers for all the knifes. if he sees a burn on your hand get ready for a 10 minute long lecture. if you accidentally fall he wont let you get up for atleast 3 days to help you ""heal."" it's almost like he doesnt trust you to take care of yourself :') he probably has like 3 separate first-aid kits everywhere.
suguru geto — emotionally unavailable
i feel like this is explainable to his character (sort of.) i dont think that he'd make you feel isolated at all, he's be an amazing listener and probably memorizes every word you say. he listens to you rant and even trauma dump with insane patience. but at some point it feels as though you hardly know him. he's talk to you a lot but very little of it is personal and you hardly know what he's thinking because his ass is not tell you. he also unintentionally distances himself from people from time to time. this applies to you too and you can feel him getting emotionally distant sometimes. it isnt something he does knowingly but it sure ass hell bothers you.
satoru gojo — very clingy and needy
this nigga. he is so utterly clingy. and at first it's perfectly fine, even appreciated by you. you still love him like crazy of course but it is just overwhelming. he is like a child most of the time, he need you around him and is always accompanying you wherever you go, and he expects you to do the same. he also doesn't believe in "me time" because why would you feel better when you're away from him: (? want to hang out with your friends? what do you need them for: (? he's right there. he is also physically incapable of listening but boy is he good at making up.
toji fushiguro — controlling
he is so controlling omfg. it's usually subtle but sometimes he will outright just say no to things he doesnt like, not caring if you like them. it gets to the point where he actually starts to change your personality. he is very caring and that's his justification for this typa stuff. it is usually harmless stuff but he gets paranoid often. he doesnt let you wear miniskirts out if you're not with him. he doesn't let you befriend people he thinks are into you. he barely lets you buy stuff on your own, he usually gifts you whatever it is youre into at that moment. borderline turned on by fear and you being dependent on him.
choso kamo — has no social life outside you
pretty self explanatory. he doesnt have many friends outside you and isn't interesting in making them either. total loser. so taking him out to events, he probably doesnt interact much and chooses to look at you the entire time, which annoys your friends. he answers their questions pretty bluntly. he's never down to have people over and lowkey hates when you are.
hiromi higuruma — workaholic
also self explanatory. he leaves early, comes home late. you barely see him on the weekdays. sometimes he goes as far as ignoring your calls when in between cases. he calls you periodically but has to have an alarm set to remind him. he loves you very very deeply but is just used to working non stop T_T
#jjk#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk ^ ~#multi :>#jujutsu kaisen smut#choso kamo smut#choso x reader#choso smut#geto suguru smut#geto x reader smut#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader#jjk x reader smut#gojo smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#geto smut#choso kamo#gojo#geto#choso#toji smut#nanami smut#toji x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you
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🪓 — Canon Facts About Ticci Toby
all of these are directly stated by kastoway himself in deviantart posts/comments, instagram stories, or tobys canon story
I. Toby has a split eyebrow from the car crash
II. He only attended grade school for a short time when we was 12 before being homeschooled due to bullying
III. Kastoway describes Toby's eye colour as "dark brown/black"
IV. Kastoway created Toby as a fan character when he was 12 just for fun. He never expected him to get the attention that he did
V. Toby was stated to be 19 in 2013, which means Toby was born on April 28th, 1994. Today he'll be turning 30 years old
VI. In Toby's age chart, he is shown to be in a straitjacket at 30 years old, and described to "not have much time left on his plate", "any bit of sanity in him is probably gone", and "lives out the rest of his days in a mental asylum and/or gets put down"
VII. He has little to no memory of his life before becoming a proxy
VIII. When he was a toddler, he'd carry around a cow stuffie and put bandaids all over it
IX. Toby was killed by Clockwork, who was possessed by Zalgo, sometime between ages 19-25 (presumably 20-22). Kastoway had vague plans for Toby to "miraculously survive" and live up until around 30 years old, with no contact to the others
X. Toby chews his hands to the point of eating his own flesh, which is why he wears gloves
XI. He is born and raised in Denver, Colorado, USA. He has German ancestry
XII. His theme song is noted to be "I'm Not Alright" by Shinedown
XIII. His personality is described to be, "volatile, friendly at times, sarcastic at times, natural born trouble-maker, mostly up-beat"
XIV. In an older, outdated reference sheet, his friends are listed as "Jeff The Killer, BEN, BOB, Smile Dog, Slenderman, Splendorman, Mr. Widemouth, Ragface, Eyeless Jack", and his rivals are listed as "The Rake, Masky, Enderman, Zalgo"
XV. His mask is a mouth guard, like the one Hannibal Lecter wears
XVI. He is canonically shipped with Clockwork
XVII. Toby has "big ass eyebrows" (Kastoways words himself)
XVIII. Toby doesn't hate Masky, he just acts like an annoying little brother around him because he's jealous that Slender favours him. He's chill around Hoodie, but they don't talk much
XIX. Kastoway was inspired by Marble Hornets to create Ticci Toby
XX. Toby's tics are described as to "uncontrollably crack his neck, twitch around, bend over backwards"
XXI. In his updated appearance (the sketch made by Kastoway in 2014 with the cheek gash), he's described to be in his early 20s. He also said he was thinking of having the cheek gash be caused by the fire, but said that Toby eating through his own cheek was "a really good idea"
XXII. Toby was originally going to be a cannibal before Kastoway put the idea on the back burner, though he says "he'll eat some of the things he kills kind of like Eyeless Jack"
XXIII. He had CIPA, Tourettes, Schizophrenia and PTSD after the car crash
XXIV. His older sisters name is Lyra, his mothers name is Connie, and his father is canonically unnamed (though he's typically called Frank by the fandom, this is not stated by Kastoway)
XXV. He was originally going to be 5'4....... But ended up being made 5'6 (lucky bastard)
Thats all I can think of right now... Happy Birthday Toby
#tombtalk#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#ticci toby#creepypasta headcanon#ticci toby headcanons#toby rogers#creepypasta ticci toby#ticci toby creepypasta#ticcitoby#ticci toby facts
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May i request love and deepspace boys with clingy!reader? Shes shy too!! In public, she'll hold onto his hand or finger and stays quiet but at home she becomes a yapper machine and also likes to plop onto his lap as she talks. Sometimes likes mindlessly squeezing and playing with his meaty bicep too :3
"𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶 𝓁𝑜𝓉"
💫𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈: Rafayel, Zayne, Xavier, & Sylus x Gender-Neutral reader
💫𝒮𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: with a reader who's clingy at home and mindlessly touches him
💫𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: Fluff, & Spelling Mistakes
💫𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈: I got sickkk 😫 this isn't my usual quality...I'm sorry (it had to be when it's my first post with the 4 lnds guys...Give me another chance!)
💫𝑅𝒶𝒻𝒶𝓎𝑒𝓁 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒜𝒷𝓎𝓈𝓈𝓌𝒶𝓁𝓀𝑒𝓇"
He eats it up, watching you act shy in public, grabbing the piece of his shirt or finger whenever you're in public. The second you feel like you're in a comfortable space he watches you unwind, holding onto him so tightly that he’ll just tease you.
Your pretty self not wanting to let go of him, not even for a glass of water, straddling his lap, and arms wrapped around his neck, hiding in his neck. You're just begging him to tease you so badly. Yet his jaw just drops whenever you unconsciously touch him more.
While you’re talking about your day, your hands unconsciously go to his chest. aren’t you so handsy? He stops in the middle of your sentence, teasing you so much even bringing up the other times you act shameless with him.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
After such a long day, you can’t help but unload everything you had been feeling the entire day, just going on and on while he puts on his irrelevant commentary—letting gasps and hums, you play with the buttons on his shirt before taking your hands away from his buttons, gently caress his chest while you talk about the climax of your entire day.
“You should have seen her, she was completely soaked and the owner didn’t even say anything even though it was his fault that it happened in the first place!” you chirped—your eyes shining so bright there might be little stars in them—leaning into his face to emphasize your point, he just gasps as if he were there experiencing it. “Oh wow…” he smiles back at you—it looked more like a sly lazy grin plastered on his lips.
“Yeah! And then…”
There you go again switching through topics so fast that he might just start taking notes to understand what you’re talking about. But feel his grin get wider, while your hands shamelessly touch his chest like a creep on the streets.
“If you’re going to shamelessly touch me, at least own up instead of pretending to tell a story.” He grins, snapping you out of your story with an accusation of your character. Your eyes go wide feeling embarrassment pool into your stomach, resulting in your cheeks becoming rosy red as your hands spring back.
“I didn’t mean to touch you like.” you stutter as if he were a cop, while he just enjoys watching you freak out. “You’re such a terrible liar, you’re always touching me, taking advantage of me just because I let you do it once” he sighs dramatically, pinching, and pulling your cheek as if he were an adult lecturing a child—in reality he would be the child…“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Don’t bother, I already know the truth.”
💫𝒵𝒶𝓎𝓃𝑒 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓈𝑒𝑒𝓇"
He lets you unwind, it’s good for a person to relax after a long day, and you it’s no different—maybe a bit more affection from him while he lets you grasp onto his arms.
Arms wrapped around his one arm while you talk about your day, with a large smile on your face, your body basically sinking into the side of his. He finds it amusing the way you act but what does he expect? You’ve always been like that; it's not like he hates it, he loves it.
He even lets you play with his tie, slowly untying it and fiddling with it as if we’re some kind of toy.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“I didn’t tell you about the craziest thing that happened today.” You realized, switching through topics so fast that he has to put his entire mind onto what you tell him, which he doesn’t mind, he’ll always listen to whatever you have to say.
Your body against his, sinking into his side with your fingers fiddling with the tie as if it were a toy.
His eyes are loving to them while he listens to your voice with such attentiveness as if he were still taking a midterm exam back while he was a medical student. Just going on and on, telling every part of the story, before stopping to think of another story in the past. “Remember when we were kids!…” there you go again.
He’ll always find it adorable, a small plastered upon his gentle face from your hold speaks for itself.
“Do you remember that?”
“Pretty well, I remember another embarrassing thing you used to do, always holding and touching…seems that nothing changed,” he smiles at you, his hand going to withdraw your hand that was fiddled with a tie, his thumb gently rubbing your knuckles.
“Your touch still feels more like a medical exam,” he gently teased you, seeing your mouth agape made him love you more.
“Not that I dislike the feeling, I can’t go a day without it.” He reassures, bringing your hand to his heart, making you feel where his heart is.
“You can Continue speaking, I won’t stop you.”
💫𝒳𝒶𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓇 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝓊𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒪𝒻 𝐿𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉"
He just loves to listen to your voice, whether it be a childish story about what happened that day or a drama your friend/coworker told you.
Now it’s no different even if he’s dozing off, his head flinching awake while you straddle his lap. It's fine! He’s not tired! You should keep on talking!
Through his half-lidded eyes looking back at you. Your touches might be the thing that brings him towards the border of going to sleep and staying awake, how dangerous you are.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“And then she left her boyfriend for her boss,” you gushed, leaning into his face to exaggerate the story more while he looked back at you with his tired gaze, “can you believe it, Xavier? And you know what her boyfriend did!” you exclaimed, he can’t help but let out a yawn.
“What did he do?” he asked sluggishly, his arms snaking their way up your waist, he might just be going in and out of sleep, every time he slowly closed his eyes and opens to jump in between different stories or different parts of one long story, yet he couldn’t fall asleep, feeling your hands move around his body.
“Xavier, are you awake?”
You gently poke his cheek, while he just softly groans before he pushes you into his neck, taking the chance to hide himself in the crook of your neck.
“You can keep talking…”
💫𝒮𝓎𝓁𝓊𝓈 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒪𝒻 𝒪𝓃𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓊𝓈"
He’s very “attentive” to your little story about what happened in Linkon that day, with his eyes softly staring at you with that signature smirk.
You have quite the hands, don’t you? He would think you were robbing him blind with your touches. Just feeling your arms on his bicep, his bicep right against your chest, even if he pulls slightly away, you just pull him back.
He can’t help himself but stare at you like, to the point you notice and stop your story under his gaze.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“So that’s what happened…” he hums, listening to your little stories, grasping tightly on his arm while you laugh at your own story, and the way your lips grin ear to ear.
“Pity I wasn’t there to see that.” He murmured—the little voice in the back of your head tells that it’s probably not the story he's focused on, cocking his head to the side, watching you go off onto another rant. only for you to cut your story short when you locked eyes with him for too long.
“He…”
“Something wrong?” He tilts his eyebrow with a subtle smirk on his lips, watching your lips pressed together in nervousness. “Well…” you mutter, while he just laughs at your expression.
“Go on, keep on talking, I'd rather not miss what you were telling me, keep grabbing my arm like that as well.”
if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!
#✧*:・゚✧:・ Yurinna's Writing :・゚✧*:・゚✧#love and deep space#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#lnds sylus#lads sylus#Lnds#sylus x reader#lnds x reader#Sylus x reader#lads x reader#lnd zayne#zayne x reader#lnds zayne#lnds rafayel#lnds xavier#rafayel x reader#xavier x reader
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Okay but I need yall to help me figure out the character(s) for the following scenario:
Imagine a romantic yandere falling for reader, and ofc reader isn't in love with yandere for obvious reasons like red flags. Maybe they did try dating, Yandere is a charmer, comes from a rich family, he's smart and hardworking and oh so head over heels in love with you. He's always taking you out on best dates, HAS to get you the largest fucking bouquets (excellent taste in flowers) and buys you expensive but well thought out gifts.
But for whatever reason, things dont work out and you break things off hastily and most likely over the phone before leaving the country. And yandere just- breaksdown. I mean my man does not have a good mental health as is, but you leaving, actually leaving him just breaks him down and he has a full blown panic attack.
I'm talking about yandere falling to his knees, clutching his chest and gasping for air, tears streaming down his face as he screams your name like a mad man. His family, they love him, they adore their son/brother/grandchild sm, it pains them to see him in such a miserable state. Yandere man is so delirious that he has to be sedated, tranquillised by medical professionals because he's just losing his fucking mind, babbling your name over and over again like a mad man. His condition only worsens as time passes, and so his family decides to take drastic measures because they can't see their beloved son/brother/grandkid so fucking dead and depressed and a shell of a once bright man. They love him so much, they only want ti see him happy, so they use their money and influence to track you down and try to convince you to return and take yandere back. When you refuse, they take the high way and force you to come with them, dragging you kicking and screaming to their private jet and fly all the way home, where yandere is.
You're in a dishevelled state, tears running down your cheeks as you struggle to free yourself from their grasps as they take you to yandere. And when yandere sees you... for the first time in months, his family sees the light return in his eyes as the yandere reaches out for you, scared that you're just his mind playing tricks. When he finally touches you, he is immeadiately pulling you into a hug, arms tightening around your body like a gilded cage as he cries into your shoulder and thanks his family for bringing you back. His family only smiles with tears in their eyes as they lock the door behind them when they leave, so that you don't go running away. Meanwhile, yandere has pulled you into his lap and he's looking at you with such sad eyes, staring at each feature of yours over and over again as if to memorise it all again. He can't help the tears that continue to slip out of his eyes, maybe he's crying that you're finally here, or maybe he's crying for all the time that's been lost when you weren't here. You fall asleep soon due to exhaustion, but yandere doesn't sleep a wink that night because he continues to stare at you and play with your hair very gently, finally closing his eyes when morning comes and he wraps his arms around you and traps your legs with his.
By now, you guys realise that the yandere's family is not only yandere for their son/brother/grandson but also for you. They are yandede for you too, but they're not allowing you to leave them or their son or even make him unhappy ever again. Some members are willing to let all you "tantrums" slide, while others are not so kind. BUT one thing is for sure, you're ALWAYS safe with yandere s/o, no matter what.
Now, for the characters I've had in kind for this scenario are:
Halim Mehmet Shah and the Shah Family (my ocs)
Dabi/Shotou and Todoroki clan (I am the OG creator of Yandere Todoroki Clan)
I wanna say Naoya or Toji but the Zenin clan hates them both....
Dick Grayson/Jason Todd and Batfam
What do you guys think?
Mood board for this scenario^^^(I love Pinterest)
#yandere halim shah#yandere#yandere oc#yandere ocs#yandere x reader#yandere x#yandere x you#yandere dabi x reader#yandere dabi#yandere x darling#yandere batfamily#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfam#yandere bnha imagines#yandere bnha x reader#yandere bnha#yandere todoroki clan#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere jjk
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So I currently have food poisoning and I can’t help but it think how mad Carmy would be if a restaurant gave his gf/wife food poisoning
Also Carmy come take care of me and make me soup plz 🙇♀️😫
Plus he would give the best snuggles 😭
firstly, sending lots of love and recovery, i've never actually had fp lmao so a lot of time on webmd will be spent. get ur fluids in! secondly, carmen might have to go underground for setting the restaurant on fire. we love him for it
summary: You were hungry and had just finished work and you didn't think about inspecting the goddamn Michelin star restaurant, maybe you should have.
warnings; cursing, food poisoning, richie (he's a warning), hipsters, talks of future arsony, possessive carmen, cracked fic ngl,
divider by @firefly-graphics
i'm slipping back into the unsafe territory of wanting fictional characters. (and i don't care)
You could roll your eyes in annoyance if you weren't hunched over the ceramic bowl of the toilet heaving out the contents of your stomach while Carmen held you hair back.
The one time, the one goddamn time you decide to try a new place without Carmen's input, without his meticulous standards and in depth research behind every night out.
It wasn't like you hadn't tried to vet the new braised beef spot that opened up on west Avenue. In fact, you had heard all but stellar reviews from friends and family, meeting you with suprise hearing that Carmen hadn't taken you. You decided to bring home a small plate, their signature braised meat with plums, red onions and atrichocke hearts.
You had meant to share it with Carmen, and you were going to, but a botched catering order had him staying back another hour than what had been planned. And well..you say you tried to save some for Carmen, but despite its bacteria laced beef and vomit inducing sides it was pretty fuckin' good.
Was this God's wrath coming down upon you? Punishing you for your gluttony? Food poisoning did feel awfully close to perpetual hellfire.
The TV was blaring some indescriptive show, the kind with dramatic introductions and soap opera worthy screams. It helped fill the space of absence when Carmen worked long nights, and you felt quite comfortable wrapped up in a blanket with a full stomach and a warm sofa.
Your phone had pinged with the sound of Carmen's text, letting you know he was on the way when it started. At first you had written it off as mere indigestion, probably from shoveling the cursed meal into your mouth too quickly.
Then, around the time the show's main character had found out her boyfriend got her mother pregnant, the nausea set in. Swirling aches that felt like a whirlpool in your stomach had taken over, sloshing and swirling and never leaving. You couldn't mistake it, as you tried to swallow past a dry throat and the creeping sweats of a headache inducing fever began to ravage your body.
You hated sitting in discomfort, it wasn't as though you were afraid of vomiting no, you just could not bare to feel the way your stomach skipped and jumped with every wave of nausea that took over.
You thought of making yourself sick, but shook your head when the alarming disapproval of Carmen's voice loomed over.
"It's just gonna make it worse, you gotta sit with it till it passes"
Fuck him and his medical knowledge. What did he know?
You had ripped off the blanket that had once felt comforting, peeling of layers of clothing that stuck to your body like a second skin. You just felt hot, so hot, is anyone else feeling this heat? You try to move from the couch to reach your phone, but the sudden movement has nausea bubbling up your throat.
You fall to the ground in a heap, hand clasped around your mouth to stop the possibility of projectile vomiting on the rug you had just bought and shoot your hand up to reach for your phone.
You press Carmen's number, begging him to answer you in genuine crisis rather than when you were drunk with friends and missed him. You feel the urge to heave and crawl quickly to the bathroom, phone clasped in hand and suddenly desperately needed his medical knowledge.
Carmen phone rings from the behind the stack of documents in the office, and he hastily wipes his hands across his apron before trying to reach it before it rings out.
Guilt fills his stomach at the thought of you, he was meant to be home hours ago. The catering order needed a few extra hands to help, and once Carmen began he got lost in it, and now you had spent nearly the entire night alone.
"Fuck- Hey baby, I know I said I was comin' but I had to finish a couple things-" Carmen quickly responds as he swipes the call button.
The groan of pain that responds has Carmen freezing in the middle of the kitchen.
"Baby? What-, are you okay?" Carmen replies quickly, his voice going short as his mind turns every possible scenario that had you whining in pain over the receiver.
"Please come quickly, Carmen I think I might-" You gulp and make a retching sound "I think I got sick from that place I was telling you about" You plead out, breathing heavily into the speaker.
The guilt that had filled Carmen seems to morph into an anger that rushes up his chest as he shakes his head.
"The new place? The one with the fuckin' smoke meat? They did this?"
"Mhm" You mumble "I should've just listened to you" You groan out in sadness.
"Fucking idiots. How the fuck did they even? Okay, okay honey just gimme a second yeah?"
How did he let this happen? Carmen has half the mind to stop at the restaurant that more of a Instagram attraction that a respected place of business. You were so eager and excited t try it, Carmen had his own thoughts but would glue his mouth shut if it meant making you happy.
He'll make sure they get shut down, or at least black listed from Chicago as long as he's concerned. His hands shake with the eager want for the fight, to smash someones jaw for resorting you to a heap of tears and sick. He would, he knows he will, but at this moment he needed to take care of your first.
He mumbles out a rushed reply, phone between his shoulder and ear as he slips out of his work shoes and into his sneakers. He thinks for a moment to grab his things but immediately shut that thought out when he hears you groaning into the phone.
"Just stay on the phone okay? I'm coming now, I need to get you some things alright?"
You let out what you hope is a reply, hunched over the toilet.
Carmen rushes to the store fridge, grabbing containers of soup Tina had prepared for family as the Chicago winter was getting close.
"You alright kid?" Richie mumbles, walking into the kitchen entry way, scratching his stomach as he watched Carmen's erratic movements around the store.
"Fuckin-, she's sick. And I'm here chopping up tomatoes for fucking Guy while she was in pain for god knows how long-"
"Woah, Bugs sick? We talking COVID or.."
"I'm such a fucking idiot. No it's not COVID Rich, Jesus Christ. Some rookie new spot trying something outside of their abilities gave her food poisoning. Fuckin' hipsters"
"Oh that's bad. You know when I got food poisoning the one time I took Tiff to this romantic getaway. Had me projectile vomiting in the AirBnb bathroom. Couldn't even get a deposit back, had to pay some dumb ass cleaning fee-"
Carmen wipes a hand across his face shaking his head. He was already pent up, he might throw a pan at Richie if he doesn't stop talking.
"Richie, I don't have time for this, I need to get her some Sprite or"
Richie shuffles across to the cupboard near the back of the house, grabbing bottles of Gatorade and a pack of saltine crackers.
"How do you even have this stuff lying around"
"You're the one with the inhuman alcohol tolerance Carmy, someone of us actually have hangovers you freak" Richie retorts
"Yeah yeah, thanks. Fuck- I gotta" Carmen replies, to which Richie nods.
"Go. I'll wrap up anything here" Richie replies, understanding in his voice. You took precedence over pretty much everything in Carmen's life.
"And Carm?"
"Yeah?" Carmen calls out, slipping on his jacket as he turns to Richie
"Tell me when we're going to sort out those bearded wearing flannel ass wipes"
Carmen shakes his head with a smile, before nodding and pushing past the kitchen doors. The traffic lights better be green green fuckin' green tonight.
You were stripped to a singlet and sleeping shorts as you knelt over the toilet, blinking back exhausted tears at the state of you.
You suppose you have no one else to blame but yourself, but the indignation righteousness burns almost as bright as the acid reflux crawling up your throat.
You hear the faint opening and loud clang of the apartment door opening and closing and you sigh in relief as you hear the familiar footfalls of Carmen down the hall.
It had felt damn near torturous suffering without him, and as he calls out to you following the trail of loose clothing he spots your figure in the bathroom sprawled.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry" Carmen says
And it was as if your body needed to finally feel safe in Carmen's presence before you felt the nausea spill out of you and splash offensively into the toilet.
You feel Carmen crouch above you, dragging your hair that had gone loose from it's wrapped up do away from your face. Gently rubbing your back, his large hands softly dipping up and down your spine.
"That's it, 'atta girl. Let it all out" Carmen coo's softly
You purged the insides of your stomach into the toilet bowl, retching loudly with every heave as Carmen comforted you. After what seemed like hours, and the nausea had subsided Carmen carefully wrapped his arms up under your armpits picking you up of the floor.
"Slowly, yeah? You damn near emptied out you're entire water content" Carmen murmurs, flushing the toilet and helping you walk to the basin and wash out the taste of bile from your mouth.
"I probably look insane" You cry out, blinking back exhaustion from your eyes as Carmen shakes his head furiously.
"Never, my pretty girl. Need you to go easy okay? Gonna take you to bed and let you sleep through it. Can't have you collapsing on me" Carmen murmurs, wiping at the edge of your mouth, patting the sweat that stuck to your forehead.
You let Carmen carefully maneuver your body, one arm under your legs and the other supporting your back walking to the bedroom. Your wring dry and can barely keep your eyes open as Carmen placed you on the cool sheets you immediately moan at.
You hear the faint rustle of movement as Carmen brings in a paper bag. The clunk of bottles placed on the bedside table as you sing praise for the very short bit of relief you have before the next bout of nausea rolls in.
Carmen pads to the adjacent bathroom, the door opened so you can see the stream of light that illuminates him. Hes running a cloth under water, squeezing the excess and looking up to check on you every so often.
He looked so...domestic, like he hadn't come back from working at one of the most decorated restaurants in Chicago. Stripped of his shirt so he stood bare chested, golden curls pushed behind his ears, sweatpants hung low on his hips and the furrow of his eyebrows in concentration and worry.
Your eyes flutter shut as you thank the midnight sky for bringing him to you, for keeping him for you, this one good thing that was yours.
The skies answer by the sound of his voice listing off all the things you will not be doing in this stage of recovery. Sitting on the edge of the bed as he places the cool rag against your forehead, lips between teeth as he feels your temperature under his skin.
"Just bone broth, Gatorade and bread sticks for you, doll. And no, before you even think it, its not the garlic ones." Carmen tsks.
You were thinking it. He knew you too well, but when he kisses your eyelids and measures out careful tips of the Gatorade bottle, you don't mind it.
#neonovember#carmen berzatto#the bear#the bear fx#carmy the bear#carmen berzatto x fem!reader#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto fic#carmen fluff#carmen berzatto x y/n#carmen berzatto x sick!reader#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto fanfic#carmen berzatto fanfiction#the bear fanfiction#neos requests#carmy berzatto x fem!reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto fluff#carmy x reader#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto fluff#domestic!carmen berzatto#domestic!carmen#he is the cutest sweetest ever#carmen berzatto masterlist#i wanna be held by him okay?#carmy#richie jerimovich#tina marrero
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Thank you, and to add some tinfoil-hat theory, anyone that feels cheated by the ending they got? It's because of the explicit bi erasure. You're mad? This is just another Wednesday for me. This is why i dont hate the ending - they made people *mad* the bi characters died, rather than casually accept that their deaths were inevitable as so many shows, including this one (as a *commentary* - more on that later), have done.
Season 15 (and most seasons, I would argue) is a meta-mirror of the real world, the writers explicitly likened Chuck to a network executive for a reason, and they wrote the Destiel arc to be so central to the plot, that the only way to end it was to fulfill the romantic arc and canonize the bisexual love in the room, or kill them, and the network had to choose - the writers didn't kill Dean and Cas, they gave the network a choice, and based on *market research* (see: the American public), most people would rather see a dead bisexual than a happy one, and that's how the writers attempted to make up for all the queerbaiting and homophobic nonsense we had to endure for 15 seasons - showing everyone their own ass, i mean, isnt this what they asked for?
We can joke about how it's a show that doesn't take itself seriously, but plenty of these writers had been working on this show for years, they loved these characters - if we watch their last season, deadly seriously, they have given us a pretty damning social commentary on the state of corporate/network censorship seizing control of our own narratives from us.
Edit: grammar, punctuation, wording
ok but where are my fellow bisexual castiel truthers huh where are my bi4bi deancas siblings in arms huh where are my cas-is-gay-but-as-in-the-umbrella-term people HUH WHERE ARE Y'ALL WHERE
#They weren't perfect#and I'll agree we got some shit writing from time to time#but I'm so sick of “fans” hating on the show#and it was definitely hard to accept s15 but the second go around is so much clearer#they are *screaming* at us to read btwn the lines and hear what theyre saying#it's a genuine fight to complete their story arc with a canonical romance *and* an apology for failing to defeat the network *and*#poison in the network well#they really told deans story well and died with a gun in their hand#and while thats a badass way to go that was never the way they *wanted* it to end#for them or dean or cas.#chuck won#and it's hardly subtext#spn tag rant#>?[#i mean cmon chuck literally calls his other universes “failed drafts” and doesn't toss them like a writer would *ever* treat their own work#he treats them like an executive shoots down compelling and impactful writing for mass appeal regardless of quality#they couldve made history and chose the most *boring* ending#also intentional on the writers part to have the confession scene (all hail berens) completely blow the finale out of the water#sure blame covid all you want but I'd bet money the writers room wanted the confession to be the send-off and not give the network#a satisfying ending after so cruelly ending one of the most lovingly written relationships on the show#look how jensen talks about dean#you think the writers don't also love him to bits and hate how his story ended just as it began?#cas and Dean's death made a *real-life* impact exceeding their own universe and stretching into ours#asking us to take control of our own narratives even though they could not escape the one chosen for them#as dean says#there is a right and there is a wrong here and you know it#their ending was *wrong*#it was terrible for the characters writers actors fans and bi/queer rep#these characters were defined by their commitment to getting off the hamster wheel (dean nearly *loses himself* in desperation to be free#and we still got a dead bi and a widowed one that could never live the life he wanted w/o him
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this is an extremely petty reason to do an analysis but i hate when people call laios a himbo, not only because it really reads as infantalization but also because it's just straight up not true.
the qualities of a himbo require you to be stupid, and that simply is not true in laios' case. for a simple example, he was able to recognize pretty much instantly that the living armors were moving in an abnormal way (coming right for them, instead of just attacking as they approach), and noticed when the Boss Armor (?) protected the shield instead of using it as a defense. he recognized the egg sac on the back, was able to exploit the instinct to protect it, and save the rest of the party with that knowledge right away.
laios is the one who's able to determine which illusions are the fakes, all by himself, with nothing but his knowledge of his party members and careful observation. laios figured out why the changeling spores act the way they do, based on nothing but observation and experience once again. laios is the one who talks marcille down from her dungeon lord rampage. laios is the one who, despite succumbing to the demon's influence himself, PLANNED FOR THAT TO HAPPEN, and gave himself a loophole that saved the entire fucking world. these are just the first things i can think of off the top of my head, if i really went back through the story, i'm positive there would be more examples of laios being knowledgeable and using that knowledge intelligently.
but let's back up. laios is called an idiot by many other characters in the story. why might that be?
well it's usually for: saying something socially inappropriate or blunt, talking about monsters (his special interest) too enthusiastically, not relating to the people around him, or not being able to understand social cues or read a room. he's even called "creepy" or "crazy" in multiple instances. when chilchuck first hears about how much laios wants to eat monsters, he calls him a psychopath. that's in the very first chapter.
the characters who call laios stupid and crazy are calling him that almost exclusively after he behaves "too autistically" around them. perhaps we are giving too much credence to the characters calling him a dumbass and should instead do some critical thinking to determine if it's true. because most of the time, they're wrong! go count the times laios is called stupid for having ideas that ultimately work.
that's not to say laios isn't funny! he's a silly guy! he straight up barks like a dog to solve problems. dungeon meshi is a comedy, so it would be kind of weird if he wasn't, but lack of intelligence is never the punchline. the fact that barking like a dog WORKS is what's funny, not that he was "stupid" to think of it in the first place.
laios is goofy. he makes silly mistakes. but that doesn't mean he's brainless. laios is not a himbo.
#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi#dunmeshi laios#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#she speaks#i will die on this hill fight me about it
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