#like I KNOW WE ARENT TOGETHER ANYMORE
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praetorqueenreyna · 1 year ago
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No matter where I go No matter what I do I'll never be 23 with anyone but you
I know things ended badly between Tamlin and Feyre, but what they had together in ACOTAR was real and special to both of them. I like to imagine that they were able to talk it out and move on, having forgiven the bad and fondly remembering the good.
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forbiddentaako · 5 months ago
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more monochrome practice I suppose
#tumblr getting this version of this drawing bc i dont want to get in trouble for drawing them nakey#so its date night vibes instead of like eden vibes#i have such complicated feelings about this ship in part bc we havent really met lilith so dont know what shes about yet#but i know in my heart there was a time they loved each other so much and so this is that#honestly would love so much to get backstory on the eden crew and the happenings there even just like a flashback in an episode or somethin#but lowkey im on the 'hoping they get divorced but deeply care about one another and are a part of each others lives' train#bc thats kind of more interesting to me than them getting back together bc i think the crux of it is how much theyve changed and a part of#their relationship getting to the point where lilith disappeared maybe being them both trying to desperately to salvage it and in doing so#making it worse bc they felt like they ruined their lives to be together and so what was the point of it all if they weren't anymore?? but#like theyre immortal so of course theyre going to change and of course theres a chance that the relationship doesnt work even if they deepl#love one another and always will and i just like the closure of that and admitting they arent right for each other in that way anymore but#they still love and care about each other and will never lose that#this is rambling and doesnt make as much sense as when i was typing it on a different post i am wondering now if theres a limit on how many#tags i can put here bc im just yapping at this point whoops#anyway i need to buck up and actually finish/post that draft i have about my very long and complicated hazbin ship opinions#lucilith#hazbin hotel#lilith morningstar#lilith hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lilith#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lilith
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willyhoos · 1 year ago
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final totk verdict.
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yamikawaii · 3 months ago
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theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love
#the cycle of i need to make friends. i need attention. why would someone bother with me? i dont have anything to give. are we friends? why#arent you paying attention to me? tell me that you love me. but it could never be sincere towards someone like me. i cant be loved.#love isnt real. i am love. i am the only one who loves. it hurts. why cant i be loved? is anyone else real? is this a dream? am i dead? is#this hell? whats real is fake and whats fake is real. its wonderland. rabbits talk cookies make you big or small everyone is so confusing.#do others love me or hate me or feel indifferent? it seems to switch as random. one day you'll adore me the next its as if we never met. and#i have to keep making friends. i cant keep making friends. if i dont i'll end up with no friends. i dont know how to make more friends.#clinging to bubbles floating up scrambling to catch another as it pops so you dont fall. everyone blends together whats what whos who?#in the span of a few years i feel like an immortal tortured with the despair of outliving all their relationships#except everyone is perfectly alive just out of reach. but i cant just talk to people. thats bad. no one wants me. i cant do that to someone.#every bubble pops at some point. i cant find anything sturdier. fleeting bursts of attention are ok for now#but i cant even get that. so what do i do? i want to sacrifice myself to make people like me but i have nothing left to give.#whats the point of me? if i cant love and be loved if i cant find more than a few people who will stay for more than a second. what do i#have to do? please tell me what you want. i'm sure i can do it somehow. can i do it somehow? i cant. i cant. i cant anymore. im sorry. just#forget about me. you dont need me. youll be happier when you dont even know who i am anymore. i can disappear without a trace for you. thats#all i can do. take the weight off our shoulders. im just using you if you think about it anyways. to feed my own selfish desire for love i#never deserved. keep myself afloat while i drag you down. isnt it time for me to sink? in a shark attack punch it in the gills. youll be ok.#more than ok. free. i didnt want to bite your leg but i just needed something anything. i dont know any better and i never will. thats why i#belong in the depths where i cant hurt anyone. i cant do anything but hurt. what more am i good for? what more have i done? what have i done#for you? think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it.#its nothing.
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peapod20001 · 1 year ago
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sooo since August is, like. himself now. does that mean that his wifey/gf was aware of him being gay? I think you implied that
Lol yea <3 him and Grace (that’s her name in case nobody besides me knows that lmao) were never really IN LOVE I’d say. Like they love each other, just not romantically really. They both had their reasons for getting together; they both went into their relationship thinking that this is just what they are SUPPOSED to do. August was trying to be ���normal” and Grace wanted to make her own family and have a secure home and life (Grace is aromantic/asexual. Obviously she isn’t completely averse to relationships and the rest cus she got married and had a baby lmao)
They are family and they will always be family! They literally have a daughter and a dog and a house together, and it is just too much work to go about legally separating and splitting things, so they are still technically married lol. Grace is a stay at home mom/wife so them splitting would screw her over a bit </3 They are also still together under one roof for their daughter, Bailey, because they really don’t want to change her home life more than it needs to be.
He doesn’t seem like it at first glance, but August is really loving and protective of his family he made, even if it wasn’t created with the best most pure intentions. August cares about his own feelings and life a lot more now than he used to, but his wife and daughter are still his #1 priority and he’ll put them first for a lot of things
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woolydemon · 6 months ago
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so update on my life. Since I've cut out the person that was shit for me I'm now witnessing them go from making jabs against me on their priv to totally shutting up & Freaking Out when our (formerly) mutual friend I'm in cahoots with blocked them as well. Freaking out so much to the point that they contacted them to try to sort things out... Via their persona twitter roleplay accounts with the //ooc tag and everything.
Wild. Anywya I just ate udon noodles for lunch and had a haircut so I'm doing p good in comparison
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astrologista · 6 months ago
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being super super young (and also on the spectrum) makes "part of your world" hit super hard. i used to memorize the lyrics and sing it in the bathtub. i used to watch little mermaid so many times as a kid, eventually the vhs tape snapped! that was probably my first transformative experience with media where i really felt like a story and a character and a song connected to what i was feeling even as a little 4 y/o
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blueskittlesart · 2 years ago
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i miss the champions so much i know there's like no logical reason for them to come back in totk but i wanna see my guys again even if it's just more memories or something. do you think there's any way they could pull that off based on what we know about the game already?
i really hope so! at the very least i hope the abilities you get in botw won't be removed bc i cant navigate that fucking map without revali's gale. even the lack of expedited cooldowns from the dlc starts to get to me after a while at this point LMAO. in terms of actual implementation i'm trying to think if there's an easy way to give us more champion content in totk. In theory, we could continue to recover link's memories and see more of the champions that way, but from a writing standpoint that might feel clunky & at odds with the rest of the story unless it's VERY carefully implemented. My honest answer from a writing & game dev standpoint is that i don't think we're likely to get many more memory-style cutscenes, especially with the release of hyrule warriors a few years ago sort of serving as an extra source of champions content already. that might have been the point of hyrule warriors from a game dev standpoint, actually, if they realized while in production that totk wasn't going to have a lot of room for champion-centric content, hyrule warriors would have given them an easy way to satiate fans who really loved those characters without compromising the integrity of their already-written story in totk. tldr realistically i don't think there's going to be a whole lot of champion-centric content in totk but for now we can pray that i will have to eat these words in 3 months
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toestalucia · 7 months ago
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something about phasing out of existence and something about seeing events through the eyes of the you of another time and something about possessing yourself
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indiegame · 7 months ago
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damn living here really does suck
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 11 months ago
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Just found out my two siblings are in my mom's will, but not me. Also my grandpa has told the entire family about his engagement. Except for me. Also my dad told my siblings that he and my mom bought a plot of land. Can you guess who they haven't told?
#these tags are about to be a massive trauma dump tbh so avoid if you want#when i was fifteen i came out as trans. and my mom was terrible about it. and my dad was up for a promotion so we were considering moving#and i found a list of my moms pros and cons for moving. on the pros was 'people there dont know about (deadname)'#so that was ideal for a suicidal fifteen year old to find. and tonight i just learned that im not in her will#both of my siblings are. but im not. and its just always been like this#im treated like im not part of the family anymore. and it's been that way since i was fifteen#i heard from my brother that my grandpa is engaged. and he told both my siblings about it directly. he never told me#i reach out to my parents. i never hear back. my aprents text my sibling to check on me (sib and i live together)#everything is kind of shit rn. one of my rats is dying. my family doesnt love me. im broke. my best friend and i arent really talking#because he fucked my ex gf and now things arent really the same anymore. strangely enough. he doesnt reach out anymore#so i have no one to talk to about any of this shit#last night i was crying about my rat and i guess my roommate heard it cuz this morning they said#'are you okay? if you ever need someone to talk to who will never bring it up again you can talk to me'#and thats the most loving thing ive heard from someone in months. from a woman ive known since august#im. just. at a loss. since i found out tonight. that im not in my mom's will#its not about money. or assets. its about the fact that im her fucking child and both of her other children are in it but im not#after she dies shes willing to help them out but i can get fucked ig#i wonder if im gonna be invited to my grandpas wedding. i wonder if any of them would want me at their funeral#i wonder if any of them would come to mine
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phagodyke · 2 years ago
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istg one of these days.......
#ya know that post thats like texting lesbians: its throw bowling balls down the stairs day u better be game#one of my fave posts ever in the world#anyway my lesbian flatmate texts like the straight female friend part of that post and i love her but its killing me#its endearing but its so hard not to read it as flirty stoppitttt im already dedicating so much work to repressing this little crush 😭#ALSO THAT POST THATS LIKE FLIRTING W GIRLS WILL HAVE U ADDING :3 TO UR TEXTS literally so true but I dont think she means it like that 😭😭#like she talks to everyone that way I remember when I first met her me + my ex spent ages trying to work out if she was gay#bc we were so sure she had a gay vibe but every text felt like it was pointing the other way..... the vindication when I found out she WAS#anyway my resolve weakens with every 😘 emoji like im already thinking abt it dont give me any more ideas !!!!#its not even embarrassing anymore like how am i supposed to exist near someone like her WITHOUT ever having a gay thought#so im not sorry if she sees this. i take rejection like a champ dont be shy#but genuinely tho i dont think shes interested shes just cute like that. and idw make things weird cuz we're still living together next yr#itd be suchh a pain if i made things awkward right when we need to find a place. and anyway my best case is our 3rd flatmates WORST#i wouldnt do that to him god forbid#buuuut...... nope ok enough of that im going back to bed its almost 1am#this is what HAPPENS when u have insomnia tuning into the crazy radio every night#need to get onto dating apps and find smth new to distract me before this gets out of hand....... buttttt i dont want to >:|#its ok my patience is infinite i like playing the long game. i was into my ex for 2 and a half years before i made any moves#i can wait this one out too either itll happen eventually or itll pass. we're good#ok thats GOODNIGHT from me if u read this far wow ur nosy arent u...... jk ily sleep well everyone#muah all round#.diaries
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whisp3roftheheart · 2 years ago
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Sometimes I hate that my friend group is so close knit because whenever I'm having issues with one person there is never any real escape from them. At least no meaningful one because no matter what things will always circle back to them and I'll be forced to interact.
#eden speaks#im going to pride tomorrow with my best friend and im so worried my ex is gonna be pissed i didnt invite her since we've all gone together#for the past few years#like i shouldn't care this much but this stresses me out so much#i just wanna hang out with my friend honestly it has nothing to do with my ex at the end of the day#im just really really worried shes gonna make it about her if she finds out we went#im also REALLY stressed shes gonna be there and we're gonna come across her out of nowhere and ill have to explain why i didnt invite her#i have all of these made up problems in my head that arent even problems yet but i stress over them#i just wanna hang out with my best friend. every time i hang out with my ex i feel like im hanging out with the equivalent of a soggy piece#piece of paper. shes just a downer!! and it makes me feel like shit every time we interact#and i dont like how things left off last time i hung out with her :// i was stressed and she asked to kiss me and i said a firm no#i feel like im stuck in highschool im 22 fucking years old!! i never dealt with this shit in highschool#i dont want to deal with this shit now. i think my issue is is that i dont know how to be mean#or im too scared to be mean#i wish she would ghost me tbh or tell me she cant handle talking anymore#because dealing with the aftermath of everything is exhausting especially when i feel like i have to tiptoe around her feelings#shes always upset at me because apparently i look like i got over shit too quickly and that doesnt make any sense?? i can easily fake that#this shit probably makes no sense anymore im just so ready for it all to be over#im gonna have fun with my best friend at pride tomorrow. im gonna smoke some weed beforehand. we're gonna have a great time#even if my ex IS there. its not my job to cater to her feelings. its not my job.#i could say so much more because theres so much fucked context but im gonna refrain before im here all night l#delete later
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invisibleoctopus · 2 years ago
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if ur noticing me on here less Thats On Purpose. im winning.
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gopissbepis · 2 years ago
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I don't want to be friends with my friends anymore.
I don't want to be in a relationship with my boyfriend anymore.
I don't want to smoke anymore.
I don't want to do anything that isn't entirely full of love. So much love.
I want to be around my family, people that I love and care about and know for certain deep in my heart care about me so much and hold nothing but my best intentions. I want my life to be so full of love and peace and care and to not have to constantly question people's intentions... I want my baby to be constantly reminded that she has a safe space within our incredible family that will always be here for her when life inevitably gets tough.
I want to spend quality time with my daughter and take her to things that she's interested in. I want her to absolutely thrive and have incredible memories from her childhood. I want to be able to look back at a catalogue of good times when I'm doubting myself as reassurance that we are doing okay; I am good enough.
I want to progress in my career and work towards my long term goals, and I want to continue enjoying the challenges and rewards of doing so. I want to be an asset to the team and to be able to make a positive difference in the lives of the people that I see. I want to make a difference.
I want to be my best self.
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billysgun · 1 year ago
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jealously
billy the kid x cowgirl!reader |during a party for the house, you catch girls flirting with billy and can't stand it, little do you know, billy feels the same way when he finds you talking to one of the members|
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you suck your gums once more as you rest the rim of the cup on your chin, swaying as you stare daggers at the girl who won't leave billy fucking alone
first, out of nowhere in the street, then at poker, and now at this stupid fucking party.
Mrs. Riley dared to doe her eyes and flutter her lashes as billy shifted uncomfortably
"you're very good-looking, billy..can we go somewhere?"
billys eyes drift to yours and you can't take it anymore as you turn down the hallway
you arent together, you aren't exclusive, and you've never talked about being something more..things just happened and clothes were forgotten about as mindless kissing turned into nightly fucking.
you downed another whiskey as the house chattered, dying to distract yourself as your gang drunkenly laughed by the make-shift bar and you decide to join them
as your head tilts back to slam more shots than you can count, you feel a hand rub your hip.
"now I think that's enough for you, cowgirl!" Jesse cheers, and you roll your eyes, hand swiping for the whiskey he stole from you while you stumble back, subconsciously hoping that was a different hand on your hip...
you drink and cheer with your gang as you sway deeper into the night deciding to forget about your troubles
"Y/n can I talk to you?" you barely hear his voice from the yelling around you, but you turn to see billy with a solemn expression
"you can talk right here" you tell him, reaching for another drink but billy softly grabs your hand
"nah, not right here..." he mumbles, you turn and he's about to lead you down the hallway when Jesse snatches your arm
"hey man, what's your issue?" Jesse questions, feeding you more liquor but billy slaps the glass away from you
"why don't you let go of her fuckin' arm?" he asks, protectively standing in front of you once Jesse lets his hand fall
"didn't know shit was like that, man" he says with his palms out, you suddenly sober up as the entire situation hit you and you're dragging billy to the nearest bathroom to fucking scream
you slam the door but it's barely audible from the music yelling outside, you turn to him as he stumbles toward you
"what the fuck was that?"
billy looks confused as you practically shake with anger
"those men out there just lost the little respect they had for me" you feel your insides boil as he starts to understand
"no one saw" he shakes his head and you push his chest
"what? no one has fuckin' mouths anymore? now I'm your little fuckin' thing to screw" your entire body is hot as you scream at him, he doesn't meet your eyes as he seems pissed himself
"then why you lettin' his hand roam all over you?" he spits you feel your chest cave in
"are you seriously gonna call me a whore for a hand on the hip? really billy?" you say through gritted teeth, he reaches for you but you move away
"no, no that's not what I meant" he quickly corrects himself but you're done with him, thinking maybe he saw you as something more than just a slut
you open the door but he shuts it before you can leave, you turn and see he's only a few inches away
"I'd never think that about you...ever" he whispers, sincerity all over his tongue as his eyes almost water with honesty and you take a lip in before you admit something yourself
"I thought it was you" you mumbled, you watched his brows furrow and you quickly added,
"I thought you were grabbin' on me...when I saw it was Jesse I backed up."
"shit...I'm sorry...that's all I saw until she pulled me away-"
you interrupt him with a scoff, knowing immediately that she was Irene
"I can't stand that woman, callin' you an outlaw like it's some sexy shit. fuckin' piece of work." you look up to see billy laughing at you
"what?" you feel your face glow as he cups one of your cheeks,
"are you jealous of her?" he asks, a cocky smile on his lips as you scoff once more
"you were jealous of a hand"
"hey, that hand didn't have a ring on it!" he quickly defends
"yeah, well after that outburst the whole town probably knows we're screwin'" you mumble
"maybe that's a good thing" billy adds, you stare up at him as he brushes your lower lip
"I want people to know you're mine and I'm yours" he whispers, you feel your heart quicken as the air around you stills
"...I want that too, billy" you barely mumble out as he dips down to kiss you softly
you can't stop smiling as his lips sweetly lap over yours, knowing that sneaking him into your room nightly wasn't just fucking, it was lovemaking.
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an: ily guys so much! thank you thank you thank you for 400 followers!!! mwah!! <333
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