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petertingle-yipyip · 2 months

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BECAUSE OF YOU - KAZ BREKKER

Pairing: kaz brekker x reader

Word Count: 3,741

Summary: Getting through to Kaz Brekker is damn near impossible. One night after a seemingly rough run-in, something brings out a confession in you both. //follow-up//

You’d been in the Dregs for what felt like your whole life. Practically born into it. You always said they raised you, taught you, but that didn’t mean Per Haskell wasn’t going to get his piece. You had a contract with the Barrel boss as soon as you could read and write. That didn’t mean you understood what any of it meant when you signed.

So when you stood in his office, money in your bag to get out of it, it suddenly didn’t feel right. Maybe it was because of your loyalty to the Dregs. They were all you ever had and the tattoo seemed to burn as you thought of leaving. Or maybe it was because it wasn’t Per Haskell in that seat.

“What business?” Kaz asked without sparing you much of a glance.

His voice snapped you from your daze but your mouth felt dry. You swallowed and had to refrain from reaching for your bag. The hardest part of being a thief was the patting of your pockets to ensure you had what you needed. You always felt you had forgotten something so you needed that checklist sometimes.

It makes you an easy mark. Kaz always scolded you. He would tap your hand with the crow’s head of his cane when you started to make the move whenever you two went on jobs. But it didn’t stop him from bringing you with him whenever the Wraith wasn’t available.

“Y/N?” He asked after an extended silence.

You finally met his eyes and he stared intently. You adjusted your bag and dared a step deeper into the office so the door closed behind you.

“I had a deal with Per Haskell.” You began, trying to control your voice, but the way his expression shifted from annoyance to scrutiny told you that you hadn’t. “It was to end my contract. I hope you’ll honor it.”

“Hmm.” He lifted a brow and flipped through some papers, the material of his gloves gliding easily across the thin materials. You used to wonder how he could do everything with the gloves, especially his sleights, but it was one of many mysteries of Kaz Brekker. One of his allures, you supposed. “A fair deal?”

“No.” You smirked slightly. “The old man was desperate when it came to finding you so he took the short stick so I’d help him.”

He tossed your paperwork on the desk and his elbows rested on the surface. He folded his gloved hands and watched intently as you came closer.

“An opportunity you’d be stupid not to take advantage of.” He said simply, as if it was a fact.

You looked down at the papers, your young and messy signature. You saw the scratched out words and numbers, their replacements added with Per Haskell’s initials. You were still surprised that you had worked it out with him.

“I didn’t help him.” You added. He had to have known, even if Inej didn’t tell him. He always knew everything as far as you could tell, or he had a very educated guess at least. “Whenever he asked me to look somewhere I just wandered around.”

“Is that sentiment I hear?” He teased and you glared at him. “If you want out, you can have it. I have no intention of forcing you to stay if you have your own means.”

“Well aware, thank you.” You answered sharply. Did you want him to ask you to stay? Your brain was telling you to do something. Move closer, reach out to him, check your money. But you put a hand over the tattoo under your sleeve instead while you looked back to your contract. “Just seems unreal.” You finally settled on.

“I need a lieutenant, if you’d like reason to stay.” He offered and your eyes snapped back to him. He leaned back in his chair and offered a small shrug. The move was almost defensive, like he’d been caught. “Who else would you suggest I pick?”

“Inej would’ve been your best option.” It was your turn to shrug. “I’d need a new contract.”

“Close out that one and we’ll draw it up.”

“Kaz.”

“Yes?”

You said nothing. The hesitancy had to show in your face because he seemed to soften, a miniscule difference that you’d only notice if you knew to pay attention. And you always paid attention to Kaz.

“I’ll give you a fair deal, Y/N. You’ve earned that much, more than that even.” He said honestly. You felt the flush of your cheeks and stood at the edge of the desk. From there, you could see that his bad leg was stretched out beneath the desk and the crow-topped cane was against the desk beside him. “The choice is yours.”

“I…” You sighed, giving in to the idea and slipping your hand in your bag to your bundle of money.

Kaz smirked and you frowned, knowing you were caught.

“Still?” His brows raised. “Who’s going to rob you here?”

“You. In fact, I’m sure you have at least once.” You deadpanned and then broke into a smile. He nearly returned it. “Your lieutenant, huh?”

“If that’s what you wish.”

“Is that what you wish?”

He stood, leaning a hand against the desk as he came around to stand in front of you. You took an automatic step back. It was drilled into you that Kaz needed his space. You had once put a hand on his arm when you stumbled, your finger just barely finding the small gap between his jacket sleeve and his glove, and he jerked away from you so quick you had almost fallen again. The glare he pinned you with was so intense you kept your eyes down for the rest of the day.

“You…” He let out a deep sigh and his hands flexed. “You are more important here than you know.”

“I’m sure the others can pick up the jobs without me.”

“I don’t mean for jobs.”

“Right…” You nodded slowly before pulling out the stack of money. You held it by the end, pushing your hand forward so he could take it. “It’s all there but feel free to count.”

“I trust you.” He nodded and reached forward.

Gloves fingers grazed yours and you were quick to withdraw your hand. You watched his face for a reaction to the touch but nothing happened. He continued with his movements as if nothing happened, grabbing the contract and skimming it, while you were stiff as a board awaiting his reprimand. When he began to thumb through the money, you relaxed.

Maybe it wasn’t as bad if he initiated the contact. Another mystery.

He split the stack into two uneven portions and handed you the bigger of the two while he dropped the smaller stop the paperwork. Your brows furrowed and you took a small step back.

“What are you-“ You began but he shook his head and silently closed the distance. He grabbed your wrist and put the money in your hand. You had to clench your jaw to keep it from falling open.

“As I said, you’ve earned this.” He said pointedly. He seemed more focused on the words he said than anything else. “I’ll send Haskell his cut and that’ll be that.”

“He’ll be furious.” You reasoned. “He’ll come for me.”

“He won’t.” Kaz insisted, keeping his eyes on yours. “After what happened here, he wouldn’t dare show his face.”

“That doesn’t mean I’d be safe.”

“It’s Ketterdam. No where’s safe.” He shook his head, hands slipping from yours. You almost missed the feeling of his gloves. “At least here, you’ll have people who care about what happens to you.” He leaned onto the desk behind him.

“You mean Jesper and Nina.” You answered, burying the sadness that rose when you knew he likely didn’t include himself in that.

“Everyone here will watch your back, Y/N. As I’ve said, your presence matters here.”

“Will you?” You asked before you could think the question through. “Watch my back, that is.”

“Haven’t I always?”

“You call me a pigeon whenever you can.” You deadpanned again.

“Then stop patting your pockets when we’re on a job.” He retorted and it almost sounded playful.

“I tried!” You exclaimed and threw your hands forward. “I can’t help the dread that I’ve forgotten something.”

The cursed expression that bordered a smile and smirk crossed his features. His arms came across his chest and he leaned closer to you. “What do you say then?”

You chewed your lower lip in thought. You had no real plan as to what to do when you left so would staying be that bad? And it was Kaz asking you to stay, after all. Not Jesper or Nina, not even Inej. Kaz.

“The deal is the deal.” You nodded and he smirked proudly.

That interaction had been years ago. You signed on as Kaz’s lieutenant and you two had been working together in the time since. Inej came through occasionally and when she did, Kaz left you in charge. It was always a bit of a sting when he went off to spend a few days with her, but she was his first love. You knew that much, whether the stubborn bastard would admit it or not.

You also came to learn that Kaz had an overall aversion to physical touch. He admitted to you one night when you two were alone, staking out some target for some heist he had planned. You made an off-hand comment about the gloves or the coat even in summertime and he gave a brief, almost strangled reason. He didn’t say when it started or why it started, just that he’d rather die.

However, you noticed you had won small victories. With a barrier, of course. He offered you his hand to get up from your seat or to climb up or over something. If you two were assuming the role of a couple, he let you put your arm through his. His hand would rest featherlight against your back when you two passed through tight quarters so you wouldn’t be separated. He once even let you put your head on his shoulder when you were holed up in a small room late into the night while you waited for the stadwatch to pass.

Now, you were in his office waiting for his return. Usually you did your work in your own room, but since there were no upcoming jobs, you simply sat in the velvet lounge chair you had convinced him to leave there for you and read a book. It was a fascinating story of demon-hunting nephilim. You were flipping the page quickly and the door slammed open.

You jumped and let the book fall from your hands, flying to your feet. You rested a hand at the knife strapped to your thigh but let out a sigh of relief when it was only Kaz.

“Saints, Kaz.” You laughed in relief. You looked over at him and noticed he had a hand tucked under his jacket and a clench to his jaw that was tighter than usual. “Are you alright?” You asked carefully, daring a step closer.

He stepped in and leaned against the wall, knocking his cane against the door so it would slam shut. With the new privacy, he let the cane clatter to the floor and panted heavily. You were at his side quickly and reached forward to put a hand on his shoulder.

“Kaz?” You tried but he refused to look at you. You took in a quick scan of his injuries. His usually carefully combed hair was aggressively disheveled and falling into his eyes, a dried stream of blood across his chin, a dribbling line from somewhere above his eyebrow. “Go sit and I’ll get my kit.”

He shook his head and you weren’t sure if he was denying the chair or your help, or simply trying to shake off whatever was rattling around in his head. You groaned slightly and grabbed his jacket sleeve. You carefully put his arm over your shoulders and tucked yourself into his side, opposite of the one he clutched tightly. You moved quickly enough that he couldn’t shove you away but you still figured the move would get you in his bad graces.

You spared a glance and saw the dark liquid staining the already dark fabric. You shook your head slightly and began to drag the man across the room. His posture was rigid, his limp more prominent, and you knew you’d get an earful for grabbing onto him but he gave you no choice. You didn’t want to risk him collapsing to the floor or waiting for him to move on his own.

“I’m sorry.” You confessed as you ducked out from under his arm and helped him into the chair. “Just… I didn’t want you to bleed out over there.”

You couldn’t find other words so you left. You hurried to your own room for your kit and practically sprinted back to his office. You locked the door behind you, knowing Kaz would hate for anyone to see him in a vulnerable state. Except for you, it seemed. He trusted you just enough to let you see some of that. Not all of it, you could tell, but enough.

“Can you move your hand?” You asked and you knelt at the side of the chair. You didn’t dare to kneel in front of him.

He winced and moved his hand, which allowed no better view. You reached forward and flicked the material of jacket away, but the fabric of his shirt was already stuck to the wound.

“You’ll have to take your shirt and jacket off.” You said, trying to maintain composure. “The material’s stuck to it. I can’t see anything… Or at least unbutton them.”

Asking Kaz to sit shirtless in front of you was a huge deal. He had his touch aversion, and you respected that, but it bordered on being too intimate. He tensed at your request but his eyes met yours in question. It wasn’t whether or not you were sure. He knew as well as any Dreg that you had the best handiwork when it came to wounds, Grisha aside of course, so if you asked for something like that, it was necessary. The question was more for himself, if he could handle it.

You dropped your eyes to your kit instead. You knew you had to let him come to a decision on his own so you prepped your materials instead. Clean strips of fabric to clean the wound, a sturdy thread looped through a skinny needle, long cloths for bandaging, and a pair of gloves. You slipped your hands into the rubber and flexed your fingers to ensure they fit. The material stuck to your damp skin and you realized your hands were clammy.

You looked back at him cautiously and saw he had unbuttoned his shirt, only moving the side with the wound out of the way. He took a deep breath and held it for a second. You knew you should wait until he said something but judging by the tightness in his jaw, he wouldn’t be saying anything anytime soon. He breathed out and you saw the smallest of nods, squeezing his eyes tightly shut.

You reached in carefully, pushing the fabric aside a little further to see the wound. You kept it to the side with one hand and grabbed for the fabric strips with the other. You angled your arm to keep his open shirt back and touched your fingers to his side. His head snapped towards you so fast you feared he’d get whiplash. You could feel his stare in you but you refused to look at him, focusing on clearing the blood for a better view of the wound.

“Snagged a box from a clinic delivery.” You explained. “Had to relearn some things like stitches but I figured…”

“Why?” He asked and the single word seemed to scrape at his throat. Whether it was from the situation or the fight he came from, you weren’t going to ask.

‘Because of you’ you wanted to say. Because you wanted to touch him without triggering a panic attack. Because it was the least you do to show you cared.

“Would you let me do this without them? Besides, it’s cleaner this way…” You shrugged. “If you can pick locks and do sleights with yours, I could learn this. Trust me, it’s nothing.”

“It’s everything.” He nearly whispered.

“Do you wanna tell me what happened?” You tried to keep him talking, hoping it’d keep him distracted so he wouldn’t jolt away from you.

You had the wound clean by then and knew it’d scar, but a few quick stitches would be easy enough.

“No.”

“Okay.”

You swapped the fabric for the needle.

“This’ll sting.” You warned and sat up on your knees for a better angle. You looked up at him for an answer and his eyes were surprisingly softer than you’d ever seen them. “Are you alright?”

You two stared at each other for a moment longer and you recognized what it was. Appreciation.

“Other than that?” His chin dipped towards the slice on his side.

You chuckled slightly and shook your head before turning your focus to the stitches. You had to move relatively slower than usual. It was the first time you had done stitches on a body with gloves. You practiced on your blankets or your clothes. Truthfully, Kaz was the only reason you learned with the gloves.

You could feel him watching your hands. Maybe he was just admiring your intentful movements. Maybe he was thinking about the gloves, thankful for the barrier between his skin and yours. Regardless, he said nothing and neither did you.

When you were done, you swapped again for the longer strip. You offered it to Kaz first.

“Do you want to do it? If you wrap it, I can tie it.”

“No, you can…” He trailed off.

“Okay.” You nodded. “Can you stand?”

He pushed himself up with a grimace. You collected your material and stood, waiting for him to shrug his shirt down his arms. You put one end on the wound and took his hand to hold it in place. You made sure to walk around instead of reaching to maintain his space. When you got to the end, you looped it under one of the layers and tied it in a knot. You tucked the knot and ran a gloved hand over the material quickly to ensure it hadn’t gotten twisted.

“What about your head?” You took a step back. “Does it hurt?”

“Y/N…” He said quietly. Your head cocked in quiet interest and he took your hand in his.

He peeled your glove off, his remaining in place, and held your hand loosely in his. One barrier instead of two, clearly making a difference to him. Your brows furrowed but you bit your tongue to keep any comments to yourself. You feared if you acknowledged it, it would end. He took another deep breath and winced. Whether from the wound or the situation, you didn’t dare ask.

You reached your other gloved hand up and carefully pushed his hair away. You saw the cut on his forehead and frowned slightly.

“It doesn’t need stitches but I could at least clean it.” You offered. “Make sure you’re presentable again.”

He snorted a small laugh, a tight-lipped momentarily smile grazing his lips.

“Presentable… Without a shirt?”

That was your preferred view but you did wonder if Kaz knew that. Did Kaz know that you thought about him in ways you shouldn’t? That you waited to know he was back when you didn’t go with him? That you relearned your techniques with gloves to meet him somewhere in the middle? That you sat in that corner chair, reading a book while he worked, just to be near him?

Did Kaz know you loved him?

“Did you hit your head?” You asked, flicking your gaze to either of his eyes to try and gauge his awareness. “You may be concussed.”

“No, I’m…” He began but his brows furrowed in thought for a moment. “Well, yes, I did, but that’s not- It doesn’t-“ He sighed.

“Just sit down.” You shook your head and gently pushed on his shoulder. He obliged, but there was a hint of a pout on his face.

Kaz Brekker didn’t pout. What was going on with him?

You stood in front of him this time after gathering your materials. You kept them in your ungloved hand and only made contact with him using the covered one. You didn’t dare push or intrude any further than you already had. You cleaned the wound easily enough, but those damn eyes were still wide as they stared at you.

“Are you sure your head’s alright?” You quirked a brow and knelt down in front of him.

“No.” He shook his head. “Not when…”

“Kaz, I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” You sighed and crossed your arms over your upraised knee. “I don’t speak in half sentences.”

“Thank you.” He said instead and your eyes went wide.

“You’re welcome.” You answered carefully. “And I’m sorry I had to push my luck tonight. I had to make sure you’d be alright.”

“The way life goes around here.” He reasoned, forcing a casual tone.

“It’s different.” You muttered.

“I’m sorry?”

“I’ll just be thankful you don’t send someone to kill me.” You said instead.

“Not you. Never you.”

“Oh…”

“Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you.” He blurted, as if there was an unseen clock ticking down.

“Okay?”

“I…” He closed his eyes and cursed quietly.

“I love you.” You said quickly without thinking. Your mouth dropped and you smacked your ungloved hand to it. “OhmygodIdidnotjustsaythat.” You mumbled against your own skin.

Kaz’s eyes were wide with shock before he gathered his wits and smiled at you.

A real, honest smile.

Your cheeks burned and you could feel your stomach tightening. You dropped your eyes and scooted away to collect the rest of your kit instead.

“Y/N?” He was leaning over the arm of the chair.

“Kaz?” You answered but your voice was embarrassingly high pitched. If your hands were empty, you would’ve smacked yourself in the forehead.

“I loved you first.”

#kaz brekker #kaz dirtyhands brekker #six of crows #crooked kingdom #soc #ck #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x fem!reader #soc fic #soc fanfiction #soc fanfic #six of crows fanfic #six of crows fic #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you

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jakescakeislateforourdate · 1 year

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Kaz Brekker and His Stupid Nicknames

In attempts to show you some love, kaz reverts to the most boyish and juvenile confession he can manage: name calling.

Idiot

Kaz has no idea what he’s doing. This feeling that you give him is bad. It’s weakness. So he tries to kill by convincing himself that you are nothing. He calls you idiot or imbecile right and left, hoping his brain will understand that you’re of no use to him.

But that’s not true because he thinks you’re brilliant.

Most commonly he uses it on heists. You save his sorry hide and because the phrase “thank you” does not exist in his vocabulary he simply says

“Try not to die, idiot! Don’t wanna drag your corpse outta here.”

Kaz thinks he’s slick. Hiding his silly little crush like this. He’s being a jerk and belittling you. No one would glance twice because he was just being classic Dirtyhands.

Wrong

Nina notices first. It reminds her of the young grisha boys who don’t know how to flatter a girl so they simply yank on fistfuls of hair or scream obscenities.

She thinks it’s stupidly adorable; making jabs at Kaz that he deflects easily. But she knows. She sees it clear as day.

Pest

Flea is a bit too mean but pest implies enough how irritable you make him. It implies that you’re swarming his thoughts and plaguing his dreams.

“You’re such a pest!”

You’re not. You’re anything but. From your stupid face that makes his heart skip a beat every time he sees you to the stupid things you say the awaken butterflies in his stomach. So irritating. So dumb.

Inej discovers next. She notices how Kaz can’t keep his eyes off of you. She notices how his lips twitch every time he calls you a name, like he meant to say something else entirely. She finally picks up on Nina’s jokes. They whisper to each other when Nina feels his heart beat faster.

Dummy

He’s got it down bad.

This term is affectionate. Less cruel than idiot. More teasing. Kaz knows that you know that he believes you to be fantastic. Why else would he keep you around? Why keep sending you on jobs? Why keep you right by his side at all times?

“Right here next to me, dummy.”

He doesn’t proclaim it so loudly anymore. He doesn’t need all of Ketterdam to think he’s parading around a so called idiot crow. It’s for you and only you.

Which is why the ever observant Wylan Van Eck finds out next. He watches Kaz mumble under his breath when he calls you dummy. It reminds Wylan of how Jesper flirts.

Wylan smiles to himself when he ponders the moments he glimpses. Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, a secret softie.

“Don’t want the dummy to get hurt now do we?”

It’s like a romance novel playing out right before Wylan’s eyes. And while he doesn’t make jokes, he chuckles whenever Nina says something witty that makes Kaz’s eye twitch.

Darling

The first time Kaz calls you this it’s a complete accident. He was just minding his own business filling out some paperwork and trying to get you out of his head. You come into his office needing to ask him a few questions about the upcoming heist when

BAM!

“What do you need, darlin’?”

You freeze and moments go by as it sinks in. Kaz is horrified. As it dawns on him his ears and cheeks go cherry red. It was so casual. So easy to say.

You blink at each other and you smile.

“Call people that often?” You’re so bright.

Kaz glowers and lowers his gaze, shaking his head.

“Scram.”

He flicks his hand toward the door and picks his pen back up.

“Not until you answer me.”

So bold of you. Kaz takes a deep breath and rocks back in his chair. This is a weakness. He should stamp it out. But one glance your hopeful face and he’s caving.

“Only you. Now scram, darling!”

This would be when Jesper notices. He overhears Kaz say it just once and that’s all it takes. Kaz calling someone darling. So sweet and sentimental there’s no possible way it’s true.

But when Jesper looks around and Nina and Inej and Wylan giggling and teasing, the pieces fall into place.

Oh it’s so cute

So fueling to Jesper’s teasing.

Jesper likes to push Kaz by flirting with you. He just wants to watch Kaz marinate in his childish anger and fess up about what’s going on. The only person who doesn’t know is Matthias if Nina hasn’t spoiled it.

Angel

Oh how the hearts swoon. Kaz finally weak in both knees. This name is used whenever you’re about to do something dangerous or during reunions.

Kaz can’t clutch you in his arms like he wants to. Can’t kiss you and drown you in affection like he craves. So he puts it all into one little word and hopes you get it.

“Be safe my angel.” Or “Glad you’re alive, angel.”

He used it pretty sparingly. There’s not many moments where you’re apart anymore so it’s a rare word.

It’s almost a little to cheesy and cliche for him but he uses it regardless because he likes to see you beam.

This is when the team recognizes it as a whole. Including Matthias who was clueless up until he witnessed it first hand.

Dirtyhands soft in the heart.

Last but certainly not least

Honey

This is code for Kaz wanting a domestic moment. Quiet time in the Slat while he helps you clean up after dinner or iron out his button-up shirts.

This is most likely when Kaz would show physical affection.

His gloved hands on your hips as he whispers in your ear,

“Honey, I love you.”

He only says it when he knows no one will hear. It is only for your ears. Only for you to know. Because this word is a dream.

It’s symbolic of the life Kaz wants to give you. Security. Safety. He wants an honest life with you. One you can be proud of. He’d really like to marry you and stay with you forever.

He wraps you in his arms, guarded by the sleeves of his shirt.

It’s hope for the chance at touching without the armor.

He spins you around and kisses your lips. Soft and sweet and slow.

Honey honey honey

It’s his favorite. No other name could compare. Not idiot, not pest, not dummy, not angel or even darling.

Something about the promise of a future warms him and suddenly his weakness doesn’t seem so bad any longer.

Honorable mentions: sweetheart, love, doll, sweet pea, investment

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #six of crows #crooked kingdom #kaz x reader #yourfellowfandomfiend

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undiscovered-horizon · 1 year

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Return to sender - Kaz Brekker x Reader

[graphic descriptions of violence/injury]

SUMMARY: Someone from your past keeps sending you unambiguously romantic letters. While you think of them as nothing beyond an inconvenience, Kaz has a different opinion.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.9k

A/N: I'm going through the first editorial correction for my novel and as it turns out, I can't speak my own mother tongue lmao

Kaz has an eye for details. Whether it’s a pattern or an overlooked design, he always notices. That set of skills, either he learned them or was born with them, made it painfully obvious to him that your foul mood coincided with correspondence he never saw you actually read. The letter usually ends up in the nearest fireplace, its secrets never uncovered and you maunder around the club looking for a fight or a strong drink. A much bigger problem, however, was the fact that if you were in a sour mood, Kaz would become exceptionally chippy without an apparent cause. ‘Care for my investment’ he calls it, which makes a rather amusing euphemism.

In any event, he knows that the letter should arrive today. Exactly seven weeks had passed since the last time some mysterious correspondence pissed you off and the sender, as far as Kaz has noticed, is like clockwork. Strangely enough, he can’t recall a day when the letter should arrive that you’d come to the club already annoyed as though he has become privy to a rather obvious pattern that you remain oblivious to. If so, he has even more advantage - he can solve this inconvenience behind your back, in case you’d try to dismiss him. He wouldn’t listen anyway, of course. Not when it comes to you.

Knowing very well that you have a habit of arriving shortly after Inej, he’s quick to find the thief before you even get a chance of catching wind of his scheme. She’s fixing her clothes when she spots him hastily limping towards her with his face turned nearly into a snarl. A hand brushes through his hair. He’s agitated. But Inej knows better than to make the first move against the unmovable mountain. Kaz sought her out, after all, and if he means business, he won’t waste time.

And he does just as she thought. Speaking in a low tone, Kaz makes her part of his conspiracy: “Inej, I need you to do something but no one else can know. Someone will deliver a letter today. Follow them and find out as much as you can,” his voice is stern, not accepting refusal. The matter appears urgent, of utter importance.

Her keen gaze studies his face for a moment, looking for any way even the slightest tick of muscles could reveal a further piece of the mystery she isn’t yet privy to. “Is this about the new job we’re doing?” She elegantly manoeuvres around the subject.

Kaz knows what she’s trying to do. He clenches his jaw and gives her a blank, although somewhat impatient, look before slowly answering: “It’s rather loosely related.”

This is enough to put her curiosity on hold - for now, at least. The unmovable mountain remains, well, unmovable. Inej nods. “I’m on it.”

The moment she ends her sentence, the door to the club opens with a creek echoing through the otherwise empty venue, immediately earning the undivided attention of Kaz and Inej. The sound of heels against the wooden floor is unmistakable as is the fitting, rather short, coat. Inej smiles, stifling laughter as she notices Kaz immediately straightening his back when he sees you.

There’s a certain spring to your step, one that Kaz has learned to associate with complacency. Although this joyous aura is making his mind turn into quicksand swallowing anything coherent, he’s got enough grip on his thoughts to render his theory proved - you really do not have any idea that the letters come regularly.

With a triumphant grin, you wave a scroll in his face. “I had a hunch and did some browsing at the city archives. You’re going to love it.”

Inej is gone and the only thing Kaz can do at the moment is wait along with trying his best not to think about this mail fiasco. But considering you’ll spend the entire day a mere inch or two away from him, he’s hardly going to do much thinking anyway.

“Let’s see it then,” Kaz interposes before turning around and walking back to his office.

Making his way to Brekker’s office, Jesper examined the expensive stationery from every side and angle. No matter the perspective, the cursive letters on the front still spell out your name. Truthfully, he does that every time you receive mail, mainly because of how little you talk about the possible sender. There’s always a huff, an eye-roll and the envelope ends up turned into ashes, without any further explanation. You become short-tempered for the rest of the day and go ballistic on anyone trying to inquire about the mysterious correspondence. As much entertainment as it usually brings Jesper, he’s smart enough to know when to stop poking the bear.

Jesper knocks on the door but opens them right after - announcing his arrival rather than asking for permission to enter.

“...smuggling through the sewers.” He hears you finishing your sentence.

Both you and Kaz simultaneously tear away your gaze from the maps scattered on the table and bore your eyes into Jesper with anticipation. He lifts the letter, wriggling his wrist slightly, and immediately your expression falls. You clench your fist. A contemptuous grimace creeps onto your face.

“Letter for you,” he announces.

“By the Saints, not this again,” you whisper and roll your eyes.

“What do you mean again?” Jesper asks casually, half expecting you to break his hand and half hoping for an answer. Today, as it turns out, is his lucky day.

“A friend once convinced me to go to some socialite high tea with her. I met someone there, we wrote to each other a few times and then he started to be obnoxious, the whole ‘woe is me’ lark.” The memory must still be vivid to you as you let out an annoyed sigh. “He claimed he can’t live without me while never spelling my name correctly. But since I value myself a little too much to waste my time on pity parties, I simply stopped replying. The last letter I sent him, I don’t know, three years ago? And he just keeps coming back.” You clench your jaw, clearly stopping yourself from a string of profanities considered obscene even in this company.

Jesper puts on a playful grin. “You know, you never struck me as someone who’d have a secret admirer.”

Your irritated gaze makes him equally amused and nervous. “He’s not exactly secret, is he? More of a returning cockroach infestation. Worry not, boys, I’ll just burn this one like the rest and we can all forget about this little perplexity.”

“Come on, you’re not even a little bit curious about what’s inside?” Jesper coaxes as he hands you the letter.

“Believe me when I tell you that I don’t give a rat’s bald ass about this man and his pathetic wax poetic.” You snatch the envelope, all the while looking at your friend with squinted, piercing eyes. Considering who you are, a complete lack of curiosity whatsoever might as well be a symptom of a lethal disease.

In that short moment, when the stationery goes from Jesper’s hand into yours, Kaz watches the letter as closely as he can. Smooth paper, probably expensive. Careful lettering, written with patience and thoughtfulness. An aroma of mint and tobacco lingers on the parchment. The stamp has the current date on it and the postal code is only a few numbers away from the club’s - whoever sent it is in Ketterdam and quite close by.

Kaz makes those little observations just in time because you throw the letter into the fireplace behind him, without even glancing at the paper. The flames grow for a few seconds, devouring the dry stationery. Soon, there’s no evidence that any mail has been delivered to you on this day.

“Now, where were we?” You clap your hands. “Ah, sewers.” Jesper takes the change of subject as his cue to leave but you stop him right when he pushes down the door handle. “Oh, and Jesper? If you tell Inej, I’m ripping your arm off and beating you to death with it.”

He looks at you over his shoulder, a newfound sense of anxiety turning his vivid amusement into somewhat tame courtesy, leaving his smile unfaltering but tearing away the genuine joy behind it. “I will keep this enlightening piece of advice in mind, thank you.”

The door clicks as Jesper closes it behind himself. Returning to your previous engagement, you stumble upon Brekker’s stern gaze of disapproval.

“Do not maim my investments.” Although it’s supposed to be a scolding or a threat, it comes out with a certain note of disinterest.

“Don’t try playing all nice, Kaz. You and I both know you’d watch for like ten minutes before stepping in.”

His gloved finger taps the map. “Sewers.”

You mumble something along the lines of ‘yes, sir’ and pick up the single-handed divider again. Kaz examines your face out of the corner of his eye. Judging by your casual demeanour, the palm’s length between your heads is of no bother to you. Maybe you’re just too busy counting the segments with the divider. When you’re done, you reach for the other side of the desk, for a moment leaving broody Kaz to the, surprisingly cold, lukewarm air filling the room.

This day just can’t seem to end for Burr Lowther. First, he had to take his regular trip into the filth of the Barrel, he shudders at the memory, only to then spend another ten hours at the sewing workshop. Being a foreman pays exceptionally well and perhaps this is the only reason he’s still putting up with those lazy needlewomen.

Putting his well-kept coat on the hanger by the front door, Burr lets out a sigh of relief - compared to the factory, his house is a quiet oasis. He remembers to take out a pouch and a box of expensive cigars from his coat. Without much thinking, he opens the small bag and puts another leaf of mint between his teeth. What started first as an addition to his personal hygiene, has quickly become a habit impossible to kill. Now used to the strong, chilly sensation on his tongue, he’s grown to like it.

The house is drowning in darkness. Dim, yellow light from the streetlamps crawling in through the windows is barely enough to let him make his way around the furniture. Foreman Lowther is yet to start the fire in his living room but he needs to be quick - if he stalls too long his joints will begin to hurt. Even with laudanum, the ache is bound to keep him up for hours and that’s something he can’t afford. But first, he needs some light to be able to get the necessary things.

Chewing on the herb, Burr walks to the table across the room from the fireplace. He puts the new box of cigars down and begins looking for something to light the oil lamp. Once he blindly finds a box of matches, his muscle memory does most of the job - he’s lit up the lamp far too many times to think about the actions. In swift, mechanical motions, Burr takes off the chimney, lights the wick and puts the glass part back on. The fire brightens the rest of the table, reminding the foreman that he forgot to put away the made-to-order McKinnon & Co. stationery. He pushes the paper farther away from the lamp, just in case.

Burr’s knees make a cracking noise when he crouches in front of the fireplace. Carefully, he lights a match and puts it between logs and old newspapers. The fire smoulders for a moment, balancing between starting and being put out, before a bigger flame begins gnawing at the dry wood and paper.

Foreman Lowther is about to stand up when something hits the side of his head, making his face clash with the seat of a nearby armchair. Scurrying and turning around, he sees an outline of a man, looking more like a feverish mare of the night than a real human. He’s thin and tall, dressed rather elegantly. The model crow on his cane glistens in the newly started fire.

“Who are you?” Burr’s voice cracks, giving away his panic.

“A scorned businessman, Burr Lowther,” Kaz explains slowly.

The foreman climbs backwards into the armchair. It’s difficult to look imposing while sitting beside a fireplace but his fear is far too severe to let the man stand on his own two feet.

“I’ve no business with you!” he yells. A few droplets of spit fly out of his mouth. “Get out!” Burr’s shaky hand points vaguely in the direction of the front door but Kaz, as it seems, is not going anywhere just yet.

In slow steps, Kaz gets closer to Burr, the difference in height painting him even more menacing. Lowther’s hand falls limp on a small table meant for trays with food.

“Perhaps you don’t. But I have plenty with you.”

Before foreman Lowther can ask another question, Brekker drives a sharp blade through the man’s palm, pinning it to the wooden counter. A howl of pain cuts through the night, scaring away the birds sitting outside the windows. Thick, crimson blood spills from the wound, falling to the floor in long drops. The fireplace’s flame glistens in the growing puddle, the reflection dances in morbid anticipation.

Kaz walks over to the table with the oil lamp. The first thing that catches his eye is the ivory paper. Somehow, he stifles the visceral reaction it elicits from him. Grabbing the wad of stationery, he folds it a few times and puts it in the inner pocket of his coat. Then his gaze trails towards the wooden box of cigars. The name of the company, Starling, is burned in cursive lettering on the front. In a swift movement, Kaz slides the package open, knowing exactly what he’s going to find inside - a cigar cutter. For people who can afford Starling tobacco products, it definitely doesn’t befit to chew off the end.

Firelight cascades off the metal cutter when Kaz turns back towards Burr. The man’s eyes widen in panic, recognizing the sharp device put against him.

“No, sir,” Burr begs with a frantic shake of his head. “Oh, Saints, please, no! Don’t! I’m begging you, sir! Please, please! No, please!”

Brekker’s face doesn’t change its indifferent expression. The pleading is not putting him off, never faltering his already-made decision. Perhaps, if it isn’t too morbid to consider, he’s enjoying having someone at his mercy. The cigar cutter clicks quietly as Kaz closes it a few times to check the state of the mechanism.

Kaz makes his way back to the foreman. Casually, he puts his cane against the table but away from the nailed palm, careful not to get it dirty. Then, he snatches Burr’s other hand, the swiftness diminishing all doubts that he’s inexperienced in bringing suffering.

“You have laid your hands on something that isn’t yours, Lowther,” Brekker explains as he forces one of the man’s fingers through the cutter’s opening. “Now you must pay for it.”

A muscle in his face ticks as he presses the cigar cutter. Burr howls in agony, tears streaming down his face. The finger falls to the floor with a wet slap as blood begins to pour. The white tip of the bone sticks out from the pulsating flesh, glistening in the warm, dim light of the burning fireplace.

In a feverish delirium, Lowther mumbles something under his nose, the string of incomprehensible words sometimes interrupted by sobs. Kaz can understand only two things from the ramblings of a madman: ‘wench’ and ‘reply’. Scarce information but he hardly needs more.

“Wench?” he repeats in a low voice.

With a snap of his wrist, Kaz twists the knife still residing in the man’s hand. A bone cracks. But there’s no scream this time - not an ounce of strength left in the victim. Lonely tears stream down his grey face, mixing with cold sweat as he blankly stares ahead. A gloved hand yanks his head back by the hair, forcing delirious Burr to look into Brekker’s eyes. They look darker than they should, clouded with something far too horrible to be considered human.

“Not only did you lay your filthy hands on something of mine,” Kaz’s voice is low enough to resemble a growl as though something carnal inside him has finally woken from its slumber, “but you also dare insult her.”

Burr makes a strange guttural noise, something between a gag reflex and a murmur, as another one of his fingers is cut off. Considering his vacant expression, it’s hard to say whether his consciousness even registered the loss.

Kaz tosses away the cigar cutter. It clutters and clicks falling in the largely unknown corner of the room. Reaching inside his coat, he pulls out the folded stationery. Pressing tightly on Burr’s cheeks, he forces the man’s mouth open.

“I don’t think you will be needing this anymore.”

Even if foreman Lowther was in his right mind at the moment, there wouldn’t be much he could do to prevent Kaz from shoving the dry paper down his throat. A match, a spark, a smoulder - the ivory stationery is burning inside Burr’s mouth.

Leaving Burr Lowther to his own devices, Kaz Brekker leaves the house, joining the otherwise grey and indifferent citizens of Ketterdam. The sunrise is just a few hours away. He’s making his way back to the club, uninterrupted and unbothered, to enjoy another day of your hardly divided attention.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker fanfiction #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows #shadow and bone #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone x you #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone imagine #six of crows fanfiction #six of crows fanfic #six of crows imagine

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dasiesanddarkness · 4 months

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The Crows as things that have been said in my Algebra class (part three) (aka the final part)

Wylan: Do you wanna see my vampire ring?

Inej, passing out yellow Sour Patch Kids because she doesn't like them: *gives one to Jesper*

Jesper: *eats it and makes a face*

Inej: *laughs at him*

Inej: *gives one to Kaz*

Kaz: *eats it straight-faced*

Inej: aren't you gonna make a weird face like Jesper?

Kaz:

Kaz: I'm cooler than Jesper.

Jesper: *doodling with a Wite-Out pen*

Nina: we need to execute Jesper

Inej: i agree

Jesper: What? Why did you say my name?

Nina: nothing.

Inej: nothing.

Jesper: mhm. Okay.

Wylan: wait, why are we executing Jesper?

Wylan: Nina! Inej! Why are we executing Jesper?

Nina: we need the money and The Goods.

Wylan: oh, okay.

Nina: the tree outside tomorrow?

Inej: *nods*

Wylan: sounds good

Kaz: I can help hide the body.

Jesper: the answer is A, B, C, or D

Matthias: does anyone know how old Abraham Lincoln would be today?

Kaz: dead.

Wylan: hi, and welcome back to another unboxing video!

Wylan: today we have a red lunch box.

Wylan: let's see what's inside!

Wylan: *gasps* so, we have-

Kaz: is that my lunch box?

Wylan: *looks back at him with wide eyes*

Matthias: what if you fail?

Nina: if you fail, just remember: gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.

Jesper and Inej: *watching movies illegally in the back of the class*

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swanimagines · 7 months

Text

BY YOUR SIDE | KAZ BREKKER

Summary: Your dad has just died and you have gone to Kaz for comfort.

Kaz hated seeing you cry. Empathy was something Dirtyhands was supposed to lack, but when you sobbed there, it made him feel so helpless to see how you looked like a hollowed-out husk of who you usually were. The light in your eyes had dimmed as you wept into your knees.

Kaz remembered his own father dying, but he had been so young and had Jordie for support that the memories felt distant in comparison. He didn't know what to say or what to do, to be honest he hadn't expected you to come to him for comfort in the first place. Inej would be better at comforting, or Nina. But he would just sit there staring at you crying, you knew you wouldn't get hugs or kisses from Kaz Brekker no matter how much you cried. It wasn't something he was proud of.

After a while your sobs slowly died down and you wiped away your tears with one sleeve of your cardigan, sniffing back some snot. You ran your hand over your hair and tried to smile, though it looked more like someone else's imitation than anything real. "I'm sorry," you said softly. "You shouldn't have had to see me this way."

"No apology necessary," he replied, glancing at your hands folded in your lap.

Your voice sounded weak and strained when you spoke again. "I... I just don't know what to do."

He frowned, he knew you were good friends with other Crows. He was the worst possible person you could come to with a matter like this. He didn't even know you'd be willing to show yourself being so vulnerable in front of him, especially after he had been extremely vocal about affection and love being a weakness, completely opposite of what most of the other Crows stood for. And he kind of considered telling you that and sending you off, but... he couldn't. You weren't weak, just lost.

Kaz glanced around the room as if looking for an answer, but then shook his head and sighed, standing up from his desk. He had a meeting to attend downstairs, but he didn't want to send you off in that state. He walked up to his clothing rack, taking one of his coats and went back to you. You flinched upon feeling the soft fabric landing on your shoulders and looked up.

"Take it. It's cold here," he told you, still not sure where to take you or how else to help you. But this would be the best he could do as for now. "We have a meeting with the Crows in a few minutes. But I'll be back in an hour or so."

You blinked at him, but then slowly wrapped the coat tighter around you. A flicker of your light passed in your eyes, which made the corner of Kaz's mouth twitch upwards.

"Thank you," you whispered, and he nodded before heading out from the office.

---

The heist had been planned ready and Kaz could almost see the kruge glinting in the vault already as he made his way back upstairs. He smirked at the thought of yet another foolish merchant thinking they were clever enough to beat his gang, and having to eat their words when their vault would be empty.

He opened his office door and paused. He had forgotten about you completely, or maybe he thought you'd go to your room while he's at the meeting. But instead, you had dozed off on his sofa, clutching his coat in your hands and wearing it like a blanket. Your hair had fallen down around your face, and you looked like one of Inej's Saints. It made his heart skip a beat.

Kaz set his blueprints down on his desk and glanced at you sleeping there, wondering if he should wake you up and send you off into your own room, but then decided against it. You needed comfort, and if you could get it from sleeping on his couch with his coat as your blanket, so be it.

Maybe he wouldn't confess it, or even acknowledge it himself, but Kaz Brekker was completely and utterly in love with you and would do anything for you.

---

Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

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19burstraat · 10 months

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I think often of the last chapter of crooked kingdom. not the one everyone considers the last chapter, the last last chapter, the pekka chapter. weeks (months?) after kaz scared him out of ketterdam, pekka starts making moves to salvage his businesses. not much, just reading papers and correspondence, maybe answering letters. and that very night, like he's summoned her, inej appears to warn him off. if he ever thinks of coming back to ketterdam, she says, they'll meet again so she can make the second cut. I love love love it. we know that kaz didn't send her ('I have my own message to deliver'), so her knowledge of pekka's attempt to return suggests she's been keeping tabs on him for her own means. or she has supernaturally good intuition, which is probably the sort of thing she'd want pekka to think-- he worries that maybe she isn't entirely human after all. but regardless, this scene serves a couple of purposes-- it hammers home exactly how scared the slavers should be of inej (very lol), it illustrates the contrast between the complacent old ketterdam (pekka & jan van eck) and the frankly feral new one (kaz & wylan), but I think it also draws a pointed line under the closeness of kaz and inej that we saw in the last chapter.

the only witnesses to the kaz-pekka showdown were pekka's men, and inej. we know that pekka's men will have taken pekka's weakness & kaz's monstrosity from it, but what did inej take from it? because put mildly, kaz lost his absolute shit in that chapel, and let slip more than he probably would have done if he'd just been talking to inej alone. inej, at that point, had been aware for a while how obsessed kaz was with rollins, but that probably put into a hard perspective exactly how badly his presence and involvement affects kaz. kaz describes it as a 'dark door' that's opened in him; if rollins was to come back, there's a good chance kaz would be dragged back into that (to use an inej phrase) undertow, of obsession and revenge and irrationality. they don't really discuss it, and we don't get much of inej's perspective on it, but I think it's not surprising that she wants pekka out of kaz's way permanently. he's a threat to any progress she has made or might make with him. he's the tangible reminder of the worst and least reasonable side of kaz that always teeters on the edge of going where inej can't follow.

so yes, we talk a lot about how inej influences kaz... but maybe less about how kaz has influenced inej. inej takes a page out of the kaz playbook, here, probably because she's doing this for him (even if I'm not entirely sure he even knows that she's gone there). she gets into pekka's head, plays on the potentially supernatural and the impossible, sets up a 'what if?' and plants a seed of paranoia. she uses the nickname kaz gave her, 'the wraith', and rollins thinks of her as kaz's 'wraith queen'. kaz says to her that 'sometimes fate needs a little assistance', and clearly she took that to heart. we know that when kaz needs extra morality, he often draws on inej; but when inej needs extra monstrosity, she often draws on kaz.

#mm idk I really like the scene. pekka's pov shuts us out from the truth of it which is nice #six of crows #not sure if this makes sense but anyway #crooked kingdom #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #kanej #pekka rollins #my post

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lilmoony · 1 year

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Can you please write a kaz brekker x reader fanfic where the reader tries to convince one of the crows to come with her to a fruit market because they have like the best strawberries or something and no one wants to go and Kaz shows up to her room one day and is like let’s go and she gets excited but it turns out Kaz doesn’t like the fruit or hasn’t had it before and the reader is like why did you come then and he just wanted to spend time with them

𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒘𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔🍓

pairing: kaz brekker & reader – 2k words

plot: when no one wants to go out with you to the fruit market, kaz suggests going with you. turns out it’s not because he likes strawberries, but because he wants to spend time with you.

cw/tw: nothing, fluff at the end, maybe some spelling or grammatical errors (sorry)

word count: ≈2k

You were a member of the Dregs, and particularly of the Crows, for quite a long time now. And since you became a member of the Crows, you barely had any free time. You always had at least something to do and there was always something going on out there; you always had to think about something, above all, security.

But this week was one of those super rare days where you had (almost) nothing to worry about. Well, you always had to worry about something, so let’s say it was one of those days where you had (almost) nothing to do. For this special occasion, and because you never found the time before, you wanted to go to the market. During one of your undercover missions, you saw an old lady selling strawberries at Ketterdam market. Since you were on a mission, you couldn’t just stop to buy these red fruits. Kaz Brekker wouldn’t have allowed one of his Crows to get distracted by strawberries; he probably would have sent you one of his death glares, thinking about how much you were an idiot.

You gave yourself a mission: go to the market to buy strawberries. Yet, you haven't wanted to go there alone. You never really liked walking alone in the streets of Ketterdam, because who knows what could happen? That is why the first step of your mission was to find someone to go to the market with. And with that idea in mind, you came out of your room, a big smile on your face.

Unfortunately, you came back in your room quite quickly because the first step was a total failure. You asked every Crows if they wanted to go with you, but they all came up with a different answer; though they all had one thing in common: it was “no”.

“No, I’m sorry, I have to take care of my precious babies” answered Jesper, cleaning his revolvers.

“I’m keeping Jesper company” answered Wylan, sat next to Jesper with a shy smile on his face.

“Matthias and I are going out; we are getting waffles.” simply said Nina, a big smile on her face. Matthias was smiling to you, arm in arm with Nina.

“I was planning to take a walk” said Inej, but you only heard “I was planning to spy on people.”

There you are, climbing the steps of the Slat separating you with your bedroom. Just as you reach the middle of the stairs, you saw a face you knew too well. It was Kaz Brekker, your annoying boss. The one who always had a lot of different plans in mind: each more dangerous than the last; each more brilliant than the last. He had this neutral and closed expression on his face. He seems quite surprised to see you. Generally, when the Crows didn’t have a mission, there was no one in the Slat except him.

“Y/N,” he simply said while looking at you.

“Hmm, yeah, I guess that’s my name,” you replied to him, a slight smile on your face to hide your stress. The fact that he just said your name and nothing else was stressing you. It was the same effect that when someone says “We need to talk”.

“What are you doing here? Why aren’t you enjoying the sun?” he asked, leaning on his stick, and raising one of his eyebrows.

“Nothing. Just wanted to go buy strawberries with someone but they’re all busy. Guess I’ll stick to reading in my bedroom. I could ask you the same question, even if I think I know the answer.”

You continue to climb the steps to reach its height. At first, he only looks at you without saying anything. Then, you see a slight smile on his face.

“You might have nothing to do today, but I do. I have a meeting with some merchants.” His tone wasn’t even harsh, even if you could think so.

“Oh, well, I’m not bothering you anymore then. Good luck, I guess? But you don’t really need it,” you ended the conversation,

But if you had, you would have seen him following your silhouette until he lost sight of you when you entered your room. Yet, you would have just thought that he was looking at you in the most neutral face. You could have hardly guessed that you weren’t just a colleague, an associate, or even a friend to him.

The next day, since you still weren’t planning to go alone at the market, you had planned to spend the next day in the Crow Club to watch people gamble their money, just like Jesper used to do. Since he no longer hid his Grisha powers, or at least accepted them, he said he no longer needed to play and waste his money. The one he was supposed to go to university with…

Even though it was 9 A.M., you could already feel the sun on your face as you were lying on your bed, eyes closed. You weren’t sleeping, just relaxing a bit before going at the Crow Club since you had trouble sleeping. A knock on your door drew your attention. You didn’t answer directly and got up, opening the door yourself.

You were quite surprised to see the one and only Kaz Brekker in front of you, at 9 A.M.

“Hello Y/N,” simply said Kaz. He had this habit of beginning a conversation by saying a simple sentence consisting of less than five words.

“Hello Kaz,” you replied, confused, as to why he was at your door, “Do you need something in particular?”

He stayed silent for some time, as if he was searching for the words he was going to use in his sentence.

“I’m free this morning. Do you still want to buy those strawberries?”

To say these two sentences surprised you is an understatement. Because Kaz never suggested activities, just plans. It was your turn to stay silent for a moment.

“Hmm… Well- Yes,” you try to put two words together, difficulty. “But like… With you?” You saw a smile appear on his face. Apparently, your question was funny (or dumb) to him.

“No, with the white bunny that I saw across the street.”

A big smile broke out on your face, and you couldn’t help to let out a chuckle. Kaz was offering to accompany you to the fruit market? Who was this person and what did he do to the Kaz Brekker?

“When do we go?”

“Now.”

And that is how you end up in the streets with Kaz. At first, the walk was silent. But it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. You really wanted to know why he wanted to go out with you. And, moreover, to buy strawberries. Because why would Kaz spend time in a fruit market? Seriously. He wouldn’t. Or would he? Maybe he just wanted you to be happy? No, impossible. Maybe he also wanted strawberries? After all, who knows?

“You know… You don’t have to feel obliged to accompany me,” you said, breaking the silence that established itself.

“I don’t feel obliged to.” His sentences were always short but this time, you didn’t know why, you had the feeling that he wanted to say more to you. It’s as if there some words that were left unspoken. “You know I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to.” He finished his sentence without looking at you. His voice was low, as if he didn’t want you to hear what he just said. But you did.

“Well, you know, I’m still quite surprised you asked me to accompany me to buy strawberries. I never thought you were the one to like strawberries.” You hear him scoff after your last sentence.

“That is because I don’t like strawberries.”

Well, if you weren’t confused before, you were definitely now. You only looked at him, an eyebrow furrowed. You didn’t have to answer because you were already in front of the fruit’s merchant. The stand was manned by an old lady.

“Oh, hello beautiful lady,”

“Oh, thank you,” you answered shyly, “I could say the same to you Miss,” you replied, a smile on your face, as she laughed at your answer.

“Tell me, what do you two lovebirds need?”

And that was the last straw for you. When hearing this, your eyes opened widely. You began to blush yet tried to concentrate as much as possible so that Kaz couldn’t see how it makes you feel to hear that HE is your boyfriend. Because you sometimes dreamt of it, but you always put that thought out of your head as soon as you woke up. You had come to terms with it: it would never happen.

And that was the last straw for Kaz. When hearing this, he kept a neural face, as if the lady never said anything. But in this mind, oh boy. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. Because he sometimes thought about what he liked in you. He liked how you always smiled to everyone, how you talked about what you liked to do. He adored your repartee, the way you always returned compliments. He loved your smile, your eyes. You.

“He… He is not my boyfriend,” you tried to answer without letting any emotions out. “He’s a friend.”

“Yes, I see… Unfortunately,” answered the old lady while laughing, leaving your speechless. “Anyway, tell me what you need.”

“I’ll – I’ll take a kilo of strawberries, please.”

While the lady prepares the stray of strawberries, you took your courage in both hands and looked at Kaz. Needless to say, he was looking at you for quite a while already. But his face was unreadable.

“There you go, young woman,” the only lady gives you a large stray of strawberries.

“Thank you, a lot, and have a beautiful day,” you greet her finally.

You turned directly towards Kaz, happy.

“Look at them, they seem so tasty,” you exclaimed, but you directly remembered the fact that he didn’t like strawberries. “Wait, you told me you didn’t like strawberries so why did you come with me?”

You take a glance at him, and he looks a lot colder than before. He has a closed face, as if he’s angry. But this is just his usual expression. Or that’s what you think.

“I wanted to get some fresh air, I guess.”

“What you just said is a lie.”

“It is not.”

You can’t help but let out a little laugh. This situation turned out to be ridiculous.

“You can’t lie to me Kaz. You can’t lie to the best liar of Ketterdam. It’s really kind of you – and strange – to go out with me, even more when you don’t like strawberries. Just tell me the truth.”

“I just wanted to spend time with you. Are you satisfied now?” he answered abruptly.

You stopped directly when you heard these words, and he stopped too. But neither of you tries to meet the other’s gaze. There are a lot more questions in your mind than before. And there was already a lot of questions before.

“You…” you paused, searching for your words. “You can’t be serious, huh?”

“And what if I am? You told me to say the truth, here’s the truth.” he answers, his jaw slightly clenched.

“And you couldn’t say that since the beginning? It would have been ten time easier.”

“Don’t be silly, why would I say that?”

“Because I want to spend time with you too. And we could have spent more time together. That’s why.”

You can’t see the smile that makes his way to his face. And this isn’t really a slight smile.

“Good, at least something we think the same about,” and a laugh escapes your mouth while you look at him.

He looks at you too. There is this spark in his eyes, just as there is spark in your eyes.

“Yeah, you’re right. One thing in common, but I’m sure there are a lot more things we have in common. We just have to find.”

“We’ll have plenty of time to find that Y/N.”

“Right. Did you already taste strawberries with fresh cream?”

“Never.”

“Well, let’s get to the Slat and you’ll have to taste that.”

You continue walking back to the Slat, chatting together. The atmosphere was brighter than ever.

#six of crows x reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imaginer #kaz brekker fluff #shadow and bone x reader

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amsgrey · 1 year

Text

Need Help?

kaz brekker x reader

synopsis: Kaz helps you get ready for a job, lost in the moment he forgets his anxiety and stays present.

warnings: other than bad writing? not much.

authors note: I have had terrible writer's block lately, so here is this terrible story that has been in my drafts for weeks. I will be doing my best to fix it but man it is not easy.

Kaz woke you early one morning, knocking sharply on the door. He knocked once, waiting for any sounds behind the door before he struck again.

You sleepily opened the door, ready to tell Jesper to get lost. Realizing it was your boss, not the sharpshooter, you stuttered over your words.

"I need you and Nina for a job."

You followed his instructions, waking up Nina and forcing her to join you on the job to Little Ravka.

Before you had left the slat Kaz had ordered the two of you to not get sidetracked, with no stops on the way to Little Ravka and no detours on the way back. Nina had quietly mumbled about Kaz being no fun and you knew then you would spend the time steering her away from food vendors.

Walking down the Ravkan market had been the hardest. Nina had told you about this place, but seeing it for the first time was nothing like hearing about it. Like Os Kervo's markets, Nina had told you. She had explained the time she spent there in-depth, the afternoons walking through the markets with her friends.

Nina let out a tiny gasp, snatching your hand and dragging you along behind as she approached a stall. You could see what she was fixated on, a pastry dusted in sugar.

Nina ignored your protests, ordering two of the desserts and paying the vendor quickly. The girl handed one to you, nodding for you to try it.

“Why are you so obsessed with these?” You asked as you walked back through Ketterdam.

“Because they’re brilliant,” Nina said like it was the most obvious answer.

You laughed, watching her brush icing sugar off her nose.

“They are good,” You agreed, “I see why you love them so much.”

Nina beamed, “And Brekker said stops weren’t worth it.”

Kaz would not be happy. You knew when the two of you strolled into the slat the boy would see the crumbs - no matter how many times you would brush down your clothes - and chastise you about the detour.

At some point halfway through the Zelvar district, you decided you didn’t much care. Kaz was sour about many things, he would act annoyed for a while and then see how you grinned in defiance and let it go. Besides, you all knew this errand was hardly one of high stakes.

You were surprised to walk into the slat and see Kaz not at all surprised at your lateness. He took one look at the two grinning crows and rolled his eyes.

“Enjoy yourself?”

“Yup,” Nina replied, planting herself in the chair next to Matthias.

You sat on Kaz's right, looking over the map of the Financial district Kaz was scrutinizing.

“Why do you need a tailor?” You asked, thinking about the message you and Nina left at the cafe in Little Ravka.

Kaz spared you a glance, taking in the furrow of your brow as you studied the map.

"For the job," Was Kaz's blunt reply.

“What did Nina convince you to stop for?”

You turned to Wylan, "I would have stopped too."

Nina’s face broke into a grin, “No one can resist sweets.”

“What is it like?” Wylan continued.

“It’s pastry,” Kaz replied, fixing Wylan with a glower.

You laughed, “It’s not just pastry, Brekker.”

Nina launched into an explanation while you looked back over the map. You brushed off some of Wylans pencil shavings from when he completed it.

“What are you thinking?” You asked Kaz, trying to see what he was scrutinizing.

Kaz looked from the map to you, muttering about his plans.

You and Kaz didn’t realize that the conversation had lulled around them, the other crows watching the two sit close together hunched over the map and scribbling notes.

Inej tapped Jesper's shoulder, no one had realized the wraith had even appeared, “Scheming face.”

Jesper laughed, breaking You and Kaz from your concentration, “Definitely scheming faces.”

You pouted, “I don’t scheme.”

Kaz corralled everyone into his office later in the evening of that day. He let everyone know the building that was on the map was holding a Gala that night, and there was a target you needed to reach.

As always, Kaz's plans had layers and twists that he didn't reveal to everyone. Trying to follow along with what he wanted everyone to do was sometimes impossible, so you were glad he explained it slowly for everyone.

"Whose going as a guest?" Jesper asked, having been already assigned fake driver duty.

"Matthias and Y/N," Kaz replied.

You started to protest, but Kaz didn't listen.

"You will be posing as Mr and Mrs Mjelde. You two look like them."

You and Matthias looked at each other, wearing matching frowns. You hadn't worked with Matthias before, but you trusted Kaz enough to have faith in his plan. Kaz explained how you both could pass as the Frejdan-Kerch couple, mostly because of the resemblance you had to the couple. When you had asked why Nina couldn't be Mrs Mjelde, Kaz waved it off with "I need her somewhere else".

After Kaz had given everyone their assignments and explained the target, you remembered the job he had sent you and Nina earlier that day.

"So why do we need a tailor?" You asked.

"Mrs Mjelde has shorter hair than you," Kaz replied, "I thought you would rather tailor yourself to look different than cutting your hair."

Your chest constricted, Kaz had put extra care into making you feel comfortable on this job.

"Well too bad there aren't any available Tailors in Ketterdam," Nina sighed, already hearing from her fellow Grisha that the only slightly knowledgable tailor had left the city a week ago.

Kaz frowned, trying to come up with an alternative plan.

"I can just cut my hair," You said.

"You love your hair," Jesper replied.

You shrugged, "No harm in a change every now and again."

Everyone seemed slightly surprised, but no one said anything to challenge you. Kaz ordered everyone to prepare for the job, Jesper and Nina had to slip away to get the disguises for the night, leaving the rest of you to prepare in the Slat.

You had borrowed the scissors Kaz used to cut his hair, the same ones you used not two weeks ago to cut his hair. You sat in front of your mirror, it was perched haphazardly on your small dresser. You stared at your reflection, trying to work up the courage to cut your own hair.

"Need help?"

You could see Kaz in the reflection, standing in the doorway like you had not long ago. You felt suddenly self-conscious, breaking eye contact and running your fingers through your hair to try distract yourself.

Kaz stepped into your room, closing the door behind him. Your tiny room felt cramped with only you in it, now it felt claustrophobic. Kaz leant his cane against your bedframe, coming to stand behind you. You felt unease build in your chest, unable to say a word. You felt at ease in Kaz's room, lazing on his bed or bothering him while he worked. But now that he was in your room, it felt strangely more intimate.

Kaz slipped his hands out of his gloves, placing them in front of you on the dresser. He held his hand to you, waiting for you to give him the scissors.

"We don't have all evening," Kaz said, rather bluntly.

You laughed, a stupid smile greeting Kaz in the mirror. You didn't much mind Kaz's bluntness, in fact, you had grown to love it. Once you learnt he never meant any harm - to you most specifically - you grew to appreciate how he cared little about sugarcoating anything. At times he was cruel, but never with you.

You let Kaz take the scissors from you, he turned them over in his hands. Once. Twice. You watched him in the mirror, as he finally decided on his action. He ran his fingers through your hair like you had done to him. His fingernails raked along your scalp, pulling fly-away strands from your face. He began to work on your hair, combing it away from your face with his fingers then cutting it slowly, methodically.

You were both silent as he worked, you could only watch in awe as he took such care. His brows were furrowed, much like they always were. But his eyes weren't piercing or angry, they were gentle and kind. He was so concentrated on what he was doing that his mask fell. It was the first time since that night in his room that you saw Kaz Reitveld again.

When Kaz was almost done, you finally shifted your gaze from Kaz behind you to your hair. Jesper was right, you did love your hair and you had been reluctant to change it. It felt a little easier knowing it was Kaz who was cutting your hair, Kaz who was helping you change.

Kaz stayed close when he was done, running his fingers through your hair again. His fingers ran through your hair, then rested on the bare skin of your neck. It was like you were both stuck in a trance. Making eye contact through the mirror. Kaz was taking deep breaths, not removing his hands from your skin.

You looked away, "I should go see Nina."

Kaz nodded, watching you stand up from your chair and brush down your clothes. He took a small step back, entranced by the way your hair now perfectly framed your face.

You looked up to see his staring, a faint smirk on his face.

"See something you like, Brekker?"

Kaz chuckled, "Maybe."

He took another step forward, reaching up and tugging on a strand of your hair. You smiled, offering your thanks for his help.

Kaz nodded, silent while he looked over your face. You could feel his breath over your cheek. From this close, you could see the flecks in his irises. You glanced from his eyes to his lips, the silent question hanging between you. You both knew that Kaz wouldn't be the first to instigate a kiss; you had been close before but never as close as that night in his room.

Kaz felt like he couldn't breathe, watching you look at him with so much faith, so much devotion. He hadn't seen anyone look at him like that since Jordie died. In The Barrel, it wasn't like people were willing to get close to him, not that he ever let them. Kaz trusted you, too, as a crow and someone he could love. He had a hard time showing that, in fact, he never showed it.

You ignored the doubts running through your head, leaning forward and pressing your lips to Kaz's. You pulled away quickly like a child having their first kiss. The last thing you wanted to do was overwhelm the man before you.

Kaz snaked his fingers into your hair, pulling you closer and kissing you again.

You were struck by how sweet Kaz tasted, like Hopjes. He cupped your cheek gently, pulling away hesitantly. He smirked, enjoying being close to you without the debilitating panic that usually forced him away.

"Y/N!' Nina knocked on the door, "Saint's sake, have you finished yet?"

Kaz pulled away, both of you snapping out of the trance and fumbling around the other. You had to slip past Kaz to get to the door, trying to ignore how close the two of you were. You threw the door open to see Nina, standing impatiently with the dress for the job tossed over her arm. Nina could no doubt see Kaz standing behind you in your room, his face no doubt flushed as it always was when the two of you were caught close by another crow.

With everything finally in place, you forced yourself down the stairs to greet the crows. The ridiculous shoes you had to wear made climbing down the stairs harder than you liked, you had to rely heavily on the ballestraid so you wouldn't fall down.

At the bottom of the stairs, Matthias was scowling at Jesper and Wylan, who were making fun of his formal attire. He looked as miserable as you, constantly adjusting the collar of his shirt and blazer to try get comfortable.

"Hey gorgeous," Jesper greeted, throwing his arm over your shoulders and pulling you into a side hug.

You jabbed your finger into his ribs, getting him off you. "Don't call me that when I'm dressed like an idiot."

Jesper rolled his eyes, "That was rude."

Kaz finally joined you all, leaving his office and pausing a few paces away from you all. You could see how he took in what you were wearing, the subtle makeup covering your eyes and the fake jewels resting on your collarbones. You tried not to flush when you noticed his gaze linger on the buttons of your bodice.

Nina was staring at you, giving you a knowing look. You waved her off, pulling your cloak around your dress.

"Everyone knows the plan?" Kaz asked.

There was a chorus of yes'.

"Then let's get to it."

867 notes · View notes

marsplastic13 · 1 month

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'Complicated' (part 15) - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Idea - Kaz Brekker hires a prostitute to overcome his touch aversion, and be a better man for Inej, but things take an unxepected turn. Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Prostitute!Reader, (had to use y/n because I'm bad at names) Genre: modern AU, slow burn word count: 7k notes: let me know what you think!

@millercontracting @coldmermaidhologram @syd649

@luffysprincess @cryptidghostgirl @beekeepingageissome

@hufflepuff-16 @lukepattersin @jay-is-a-pinguin

“Brekker, I’m taking you out for lunch,” Nina said, peering into his office. Reluctantly, Kaz agreed, and the two walked to the nearest restaurant. As soon as they sat down, the conversation shifted to Y/n.

“I started following her on Instagram. She looks like the most irresponsible person ever,” Nina commented, her tone disapproving.

Kaz crossed his arms defensively. “That’s not true. She's responsible.”

Nina gave him a skeptical look. “Responsible? Are we talking about the same Y/n? The one who is always partying and shopping?”

Kaz sighed, clearly irritated. “Yes, that Y/n. She’s more than just what you see online.”

Nina raised an eyebrow, her expression clearly dubious. “Is she? Why don’t you ring her up, maybe she wants to have lunch with us.”

Kaz considered it. He knew Y/n was probably at home at this hour, and despite Nina’s skepticism, he wanted to prove her wrong. He pulled out his phone and dialed Y/n’s number.

“On speaker,” Nina demanded, her tone cold. Kaz sighed but complied, putting the call on speaker.

“Baby, is everything okay?” Y/n’s cheerful voice came through the phone. Nina rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Baby? Really?” she mouthed at Kaz, who flipped her off discreetly.

“Y/n, I’m here with Nina. We wanted to—” Kaz began, but he was interrupted by a cacophony of noise in the background.

“Where are you?” he asked, his brow furrowing.

Y/n hesitated. “Oh, um,” she let out a nervous laugh, “I’m at the emergency room. I dislocated my shoulder.”

Kaz cradled his head in his hands, exasperation and concern warring on his face. Nina leaned back in her chair, a satisfied smile tugging at her lips. “You knew this,” Kaz mouthed at Nina, who nodded smugly.

“Yes, I checked her Instagram,” she whispered back.

Kaz took a deep breath, almost afraid to ask, “What happened? Are you okay?”

Y/n hesitated again. “So, the house was flooded, and we called a plumber, but, funny thing, he was actually a stripper,” she laughed.

Kaz closed his eyes, sighing. “He was very good. If you ever need one, I’ll send you his number,” Y/n added.

“Of course, you let him do his show,” Kaz rolled his eyes, trying to suppress a chuckle.

“Absolutely. And he suggested that since the house was already flooded, we could add soap and play soapy-soccer in the corridor,” Y/n explained, her tone as if it was the most logical decision.

“Y/n, your rib just healed,” Kaz said, now genuinely concerned and a bit mad.

“I know. That’s why I took the responsible decision of being the goalkeeper,” she replied, as if it was the most logical answer.

Nina looked at Kaz with both eyebrows raised. “Responsible decision?” she mouthed.

“That was not the responsible decision, Y/n!” Kaz's voice was sharp with frustration. “You could have seriously hurt yourself. Again!”

Y/n sighed dramatically, her playful tone undeterred. “I couldn’t let them win! The prize was not cleaning the mess we made! It was the final goal!”

“Are you ever going to take something seriously?” Kaz demanded, his irritation clear.

“No,” she laughed, the sound light and carefree. “Why are you so mad? Ghezen, Kaz, tomorrow I’ll be fine. We can try that thing we were talking about, with the—”

“Y/n, you’re on speaker,” Kaz quickly cut her off, his face flushing with embarrassment.

“You didn’t sound that embarrassed when you asked me to—”

“Shut up!” Kaz snapped, but his tone lacked true anger.

Y/n laughed even more, the sound infectious. Nina shook her head in disapproval.

“Are you sure you’re fine?” Kaz asked, his concern resurfacing.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Y/n assured him.

“Did you win at least?”

“Obviously,” she replied with a smirk audible in her voice.

Kaz couldn’t help but smile at her confidence. “So, are you free tonight?” he asked, his tone softening, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips, while Nina rolled her eyes.

“Call me when you’re home,” Kaz said, ending the call with a sense of relief mixed with lingering frustration.

Nina watched him, shaking her head. “Come on, Kaz, you can’t be serious about her.”

Kaz frowned, crossing his arms defensively. “Why not? What’s so wrong with Y/n?”

Nina’s expression was incredulous. “What’s wrong? Kaz, she’s reckless, irresponsible, and always getting into trouble. She’s the complete opposite of Inej.”

Kaz’s jaw tightened at the mention of Inej. “This isn’t about Inej, Nina. Y/n is her own person, and she’s—”

“—a bad influence,” Nina finished for him, her tone harsh. “Inej is stable, reliable, and she made you better. Y/n is just... chaos.”

Kaz sighed, trying to keep his temper in check. “Y/n has her flaws, sure, but she also brings out a side of me that I didn’t even know existed. She makes me feel alive, Nina.”

Nina rolled her eyes again. “Oh, please. She makes you feel alive? That’s your defense? You need someone who grounds you, Kaz, not someone who drags you into ridiculous situations like playing soapy-soccer with a stripper.”

Kaz bristled at the accusation. “Y/n is more than that. Just because she’s different from Inej doesn’t mean she’s not good for me.”

Nina’s expression softened slightly, but her disapproval was still evident. “I’m just worried about you, Kaz. Inej was good for you in ways that Y/n never will be.”

Kaz’s eyes narrowed. “And maybe Y/n is good for me in ways that Inej never was.”

Nina shook her head again, her disapproval evident. "Kaz, you know this is just a phase, right? When this crush on Y/n passes, you’ll realize you belong with Inej. You should go back to her before it's too late."

Kaz's eyes darkened, his temper flaring. “What the hell, Nina? You think I’m just going to crawl back to Inej when things get tough with Y/n?”

Nina didn’t back down. “You’re making a mistake, Kaz. Inej is the one who’s good for you, not this reckless fling with Y/n. You need to come to your senses before you ruin everything.”

Kaz stood abruptly, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. “You don’t get to decide what’s good for me, Nina. I care about Y/n, and I’m not just going to drop her because you think I should be with Inej. Inej and I are over. Accept that.”

Nina stood as well, her expression portraying both frustration and concern. “Kaz, I’m just trying to look out for you. Y/n is a distraction. She’s going to hurt you, and then where will you be?”

Kaz’s voice was low and dangerous. “I’m done with this conversation. Y/n isn’t a distraction. She’s important to me, and I’m not going to let you or anyone else dictate my choices. If you can’t accept that, then maybe you’re the one who needs to back off.”

Nina’s eyes flashed with hurt, but she didn’t back down. “Fine, Kaz. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when things fall apart.”

Kaz turned away, his anger simmering just below the surface. “I’ll take my chances. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

As he walked away, Kaz couldn’t shake the lingering frustration. Nina’s words had struck a nerve, but he was determined not to let them undermine his feelings for Y/n. He knew the path he had chosen was risky, but for the first time in a long time, he felt like he was exactly where he needed to be.

***

Kaz knew that he was being petty and that his actions would have consequences, but he was pissed off and he felt an overwhelming need to act out. He pulled out his phone and texted Y/n, ‘Are you busy?’

‘I'm at the gym, finish in 30 minutes’ she replied.

‘Can you pick me up at work?’

Y/n sent him a thumbs-up, and Kaz put his phone back in his pocket, feeling a spark of anticipation. He had been fighting with his boss since the day before. Kaz had meticulously planned a deal, but his boss had criticized every aspect of it, despite Kaz knowing he was right. If his boss wanted to get mad at him, Kaz was determined to give him a proper reason.

‘I'm outside’ came Y/n’s next message.

Kaz stormed out of the office, just as he had planned, with his boss following closely behind, continuing the heated discussion. Outside, Y/n stood by her car, still in her gym clothes, inspecting a new scratch. She smiled when she saw him, tossing him the car keys. “You're driving.”

Kaz grabbed the keys without a glance and went straight to kiss her, trapping her against the car and his body. Y/n hummed against his lips, “I didn't know it was that kind of call,” she whispered, amused.

“Brekker! We are not done. You don't walk away from me like that,” his boss shouted, catching up to them. Kaz moved slightly, revealing Y/n to the man, who paled at the sight.

“This is awkward,” she commented, her tone light but her eyes assessing the situation.

The boss struggled to formulate a reply, his eyes darting between Kaz and Y/n, noticing Kaz's arm around her and the smudge of her red lip balm on Kaz’s lips.

“Oh, Brekker, you didn't,” the boss started, his voice laced with disbelief.

“Oh, I did,” Kaz replied coldly, his grip around Y/n tightening. “You were right, you know? I should have some fun, and she,” his eyes roved over Y/n’s body, and he let out a chuckle, “she is a lot of fun.”

The man’s face turned livid with rage. “Y/n, you’re seriously with him?” he spat, his eyes narrowing at her.

Y/n met his gaze, trying not to laugh. “Apparently.”

He scoffed. “You think this is a game, Brekker? Bringing her here, flaunting her like some prize?”

Kaz’s eyes glittered with amusement as he tightened his arm around Y/n. “Yes, you’re right. She looks absolutely like a prize. Get in the car, love,” Kaz said playfully patting her ass, and Y/n, catching on quickly, got in without a word.

He turned to open his door but then faced his boss once more. “Also, she doesn't taste like candies, she tastes like cherries.” He grinned, enjoying the man’s furious reaction before getting in and driving away.

As they sped away, Kaz's anger began to dissipate, replaced by a twisted sense of satisfaction. He glanced at Y/n, who was watching him with a curious smile.

“What was that?” she teased, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

Kaz chuckled, his grip on the steering wheel relaxing. “A small revenge.”

Y/n raised an eyebrow, leaning back in her seat. “Seems a bit dramatic, even for you.”

Kaz shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. “I needed to make a point.”

She laughed softly. “And using me as a pawn in your revenge scheme was your brilliant idea?”

Kaz’s expression softened as he glanced at her. “Yep. You were my ace.”

Y/n sighed, shaking her head but unable to suppress a smile. “It was fun. Although I didn’t expect to be part of your little power play.”

Kaz chuckled, his eyes warm as he watched the road. “Did you like it?”

She tilted her head, amusement dancing in her eyes. “You have no idea how much.”

Kaz’s grin widened, a spark of mischief in his gaze. “Oh, really? I shouldn’t be surprised.”

Y/n laughed softly, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “It was actually pretty exhilarating.”

Kaz’s smirk softened into a genuine smile. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed the show. It was worth it just to see that look on his face.”

Y/n leaned back in her seat, her smile turning more thoughtful. “And here I thought you were all business and no fun.”

Kaz glanced at her, his expression softening. “I have my moments.”

***

Kaz couldn't help but let out a frustrated sigh as he scanned the endless piles of paperwork littering his desk. His boss had made him pay dearly for his little show of confidence, drowning him in paperwork for the past three nights. It was now his third consecutive night spent in the office, poring over books and plans, trying to locate the financial leak his boss was convinced existed. The fluorescent lights flickered above him, casting a harsh glow on the stacks of documents surrounding him.

All Kaz wanted was to collapse into bed, bury his nose in Y/N’s hair, and finally get some sleep. Instead, he was trapped in the office, surrounded by nothing but papers and screens.

As if reading his mind, his phone buzzed, pulling him from his thoughts. Y/N was FaceTiming him. A quick glance at the time—2 AM—made him wonder what she could be up to at this hour. Maybe she was drunk and needed a ride, or perhaps she was just bored. There were countless possibilities.

Kaz answered the call, his voice tired but curious. “Y/N, is everything—”

The words died in his throat as the scene on his screen unfolded. This was definitely not one of the possibilities he had considered, and he silently thanked Ghezen that he was alone in the office.

Y/N’s phone was perfectly positioned to capture a clear view of her bed, where she and one of her roommates were engaged in a heated makeout session. Kaz’s eyes widened in disbelief, his mind struggling to process what he was seeing.

Both girls were on their knees, facing each other, their matching lingerie leaving little to the imagination. The sound of their sloppy kisses filled the office, and Kaz quickly lowered the volume, his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn’t tear his eyes away as Y/N’s hand moved to squeeze the other girl’s breast.

Kaz’s first coherent thought was that this had to be some sort of work-related thing and that Y/N had accidentally called him instead of someone else, but then, as if sensing his gaze, Y/N turned to the camera, her lips curving into a mischievous smile. She gave a small wave before slowly trailing kisses down the other girl’s neck, never breaking eye contact with Kaz.

Y/N’s eyes kept flicking back to the camera, her gaze locking with his, making his heart race even faster. His pulse quickened, his thoughts a jumbled mess as the scene continued to unfold.

The girls finished slowly undressing each other. Every so often, Y/N would glance at him, her look sending a wave of heat through Kaz. He could feel the tension in his body, his breath growing shallow as he watched her.

Kaz’s mind was blank, unable to focus on anything other than the two women in front of him. When Y/N went down on her roommate, her gaze flicking back to him from time to time, it took everything in him not to groan out loud. His hand itched to touch the painful bulge in his pants, but he knew he couldn’t—he was still in his office, after all.

As the other girl’s moans increased, Kaz found himself even more captivated by the scene. Y/N’s confidence and sensuality were on full display, and Kaz could barely contain himself.

When the girl finally reached her orgasm, Y/N kissed her way up from her stomach to her lips, her movements slow and deliberate, like a cat toying with its prey. The two girls resumed making out, their bodies pressed together, Y/N on all fours, hovering above her.

Kaz could barely breathe as he watched them switch positions, the sight of Y/N’s quickened breaths and flushed cheeks nearly driving him over the edge. She turned to look at him, her eyes dark with lust.

“Isn’t she pretty, Kaz?” the other girl suddenly asked, surprising him. Her voice was sultry, teasing. Kaz involuntarily shifted in his seat, seeking the slightest bit of relief.

“Isn’t she fucking beautiful when she’s all flustered and needy?” she continued, her words sending a shiver down Kaz’s spine.

Yes, yes, she was. Y/N’s eyes never left his as the other girl’s fingers worked her up slowly, each movement calculated to drive her wild. Y/N’s moans grew louder, her back arching, hips rolling, putting on a show that was impossible for Kaz to resist.

Then, just as abruptly, the girl stopped, making Y/N whine in protest.

“I won’t let her finish unless you touch yourself,” the girl said firmly, her gaze locked on Kaz’s through the screen.

Y/N’s eyes were wide and pleading, silently urging him to give in. Kaz’s resolve wavered, the intensity of the moment overwhelming him as he sat frozen, torn between desire and restraint.

The girl's hand trailed back up to tease Y/N's nipples, her fingers skillfully playing with the sensitive flesh, and Kaz could almost feel the sensation himself—the cool metal of Y/N's piercings contrasting with the warmth of her skin. It was an image that seared itself into his mind, igniting something deep within him that he struggled to control.

"Please, love," Y/N whispered, her voice barely audible but laced with desperation.

Kaz's eyes widened, his mouth slightly open as the weight of the moment crashed over him. Every ounce of his self-control teetered on the edge, and his body, betraying him completely, began to respond in ways he had long fought to suppress. He couldn't look away from the screen, from the pleading look in Y/N's eyes, and before he could even think, his hand moved of its own accord, sliding down to his pants.

With a shaky breath, Kaz unzipped his pants, the sound almost deafening in the quiet of his office. A soft, relieving sigh escaped his lips as he allowed himself the smallest bit of release. His phone was angled so that only his face was visible on the screen, but it was clear that this was all the girls needed.

Y/N's smile turned wild and victorious, her eyes sparkling in triumph. She knew exactly what she was doing, knew the effect she was having on him, and it only seemed to spur her on further. The other girl’s hand slid back between Y/N's legs, eliciting a gasp from her that reverberated through Kaz’s body.

The intensity of the moment was overwhelming, every sensation magnified as he watched them. Y/N’s body moved in rhythm with the other girl's touch, her back arching and hips rolling in a way that made Kaz’s breath catch in his throat. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, every pulse echoing the escalating tension between them.

Y/N’s eyes never left his, her gaze burning with desire and something else—something deeper, more intimate.

As the girl continued, Y/N’s moans grew louder, more desperate, each sound pulling Kaz further into the moment. His grip tightened, the sensation almost too much to bear, but he couldn’t stop—he didn’t want to stop. The world outside of that screen, outside of that moment, ceased to exist. There was only Y/N, her roommate, and the overwhelming connection that bound them all together.

The other girl’s voice was a teasing purr, almost a dare. “Aren’t you going to tell her how good she looks?” she asked, as she continued to toy with Y/N’s body.

Kaz’s eyes were glued to the screen, his voice barely above a whisper as he replied, “So good…” He leaned back in his chair, his hand moving slowly, matching the rhythm of what was happening on the screen. The sight of Y/N, so vulnerable and yet so in control of his every breath, was almost too much to bear.

Y/N’s eyes snapped open at the sound of his voice, a wickedly amused smile curling her lips. She arched her back, a silent plea for more, her body responding eagerly to both the girl’s touch and Kaz’s words. The sight made his pulse quicken, the intensity of the moment pulling him deeper into the sensation, until everything else faded away.

The other girl noticed Y/N's reaction and pressed further, her voice silky and persuasive. “Look at the effect you have on her. Do you like that, Kaz?”

“Yes,” he breathed out immediately, his voice heavy with the weight of his growing pleasure. He was completely lost in the moment, his hand moving in time with the pace of the girl’s fingers on Y/N’s body. Every breath he took was more labored, more ragged, as he felt himself edging closer and closer.

Y/N was gripping the sheets, her knuckles white as she moaned, “Please, I’m so close.” The desperation in her voice sent a shiver down his spine, her need mirroring his own. He could feel himself on the brink, every nerve in his body on high alert, waiting for that final push.

The girl’s voice cut through the haze, a final taunt that was almost cruel in its timing. “What do you say, Kaz? Should we let her finish? Has she been good?”

“Yes,” he groaned, his voice raw and filled with desire. “Yes, let her come.”

The words were barely out of his mouth when he felt the wave of pleasure crash over him, pulling him under with an intensity that stole his breath. At the same moment, Y/N’s body tensed, her back arching off the bed in an obscene display of pure ecstasy. Cursed whispers spilled from her lips as she reached her peak, the sight of her unraveling driving him over the edge.

The two girls tangled together in a tender embrace, exchanging soft kisses and gentle caresses with the ease and familiarity of having done it countless times before.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her.” said the other girl before ending the call.

Their intimate cuddles were a stark contrast to the wild passion that had just consumed them, leaving Kaz breathless and staring at the now-black screen of his phone, a mess under his desk that he quickly tried to clean up.

As he hurriedly composed himself, wiping away any evidence of his lapse in control, the reality of what had just happened began to sink in. He leaned back in his chair, the adrenaline still coursing through him, making his head feel light and his heart pound in his chest. It was as if his mind had been clouded during the entire encounter, and now that the fog was lifting, all that was left was the sharp clarity of regret and self-reproach.

He cursed under his breath, realizing how dangerously close he had come to losing control, not just of himself but of the situation. It wasn’t just about the physical release—it was about how easily he had allowed himself to be drawn into such a compromising position, one that could have serious consequences if he wasn’t careful.

Just as he was trying to collect his thoughts, his phone buzzed with an incoming text from Y/N.

‘Enjoyed the show?’ she teased, the message making his pulse quicken again. He hesitated, his fingers hovering over the keyboard as he tried to think of a response. How could he explain what he was feeling? Yes, he had enjoyed it—more than he wanted to admit—but there was also a nagging sense of unease that he couldn’t shake.

Before he could figure out what to say, another text came through: ‘I was worried you were getting bored all alone in your office :(‘

He couldn’t help but smile at her playful concern, despite the lingering tension in his chest. After a moment, he typed back, ‘How thoughtful, thanks for the company.’ It was a simple reply, one that masked the complexity of what he was really feeling.

A small heart appeared on his screen as Y/N sent her final message, and he shook his head in disbelief, still trying to process everything. What had started as another exhausting night buried in work had taken a turn he could never have predicted. The lightness in his head was still there, but now it was accompanied by a sense of confusion and uncertainty about what this all meant for them.

***

Days after their last encounter, Kaz found himself staring at the ceiling of his apartment, feeling the weight of boredom pressing down on him. Jesper was out with his new boyfriend, and Kaz’s texts to Y/n had gone unanswered for hours. The silence was unusual and unsettling. He glanced at the time—late enough for her to be off work. His irritation grew, and he decided to call her.

She picked up on the third call. “Kaz, did someone die or something?” she asked, her tone playful but a bit strained.

“Oh, hello,” he replied, forcing cheerfulness into his voice to mask his irritation and concern.

“Did something happen? It’s not a good time.” There were muffled voices in the background, and Kaz’s heart sank a little.

“Are you still working?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

Y/n hesitated. The pause was enough for Kaz to realize she wouldn’t have picked up if she was with a client.

“Kaz, I—” she began, but another voice cut her off. “Come back to bed, princess, hurry up,” a man’s voice called out.

Kaz froze, the words sinking in like ice. “Are you with the tennis instructor?” he asked bitterly, his mind racing.

“And his brother,” she admitted with a sigh.

“Oh great, they keep things in the family,” Kaz snapped, the bitterness in his voice now fully apparent. “Have fun, Y/n.” Without waiting for her reply, he ended the call.

Kaz tossed his phone onto the table, feeling both anger and hurt. He knew that it was going to happen, but part of him hoped that she wouldn’t, hoped that he could be enough. He had tried to convince himself that he was prepared for this, that he understood Y/n's lifestyle and was okay with it. But the truth was, he wasn't.

He paced around his apartment, trying to shake off the feeling of betrayal that pressed heavily on him. Was it betrayal? Could he even call it that? They weren’t exclusive, but hearing it so plainly had stung more than he anticipated.

He sat down, staring at his phone. He knew he needed to talk to her, to clear the air and figure out what they were doing. His thoughts were a mess of jealousy, confusion, and frustration. Why did it bother him so much? Was he expecting too much from a relationship that was never defined?

The night dragged on, sleep eluding him as his mind kept replaying the conversation. The way she admitted to being with two men for pleasure, not work, left a bitter taste in his mouth. It wasn’t just about the act itself; it was about the ease with which she talked about it, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The realization that he might never be enough for her, that she might always crave something he couldn't provide, kept him from sleeping peacefully.

Kaz tried to drag himself through the next day, but by midday, he couldn't take it anymore. He texted Y/n again, hoping for a quicker response this time.

‘Can we talk tonight?’

It felt like an eternity before she replied, ‘I’m free until 9’.

As the day went on, Kaz found it increasingly difficult to concentrate. His thoughts kept drifting back to Y/n. He left work early, unable to focus, and headed straight to her apartment.

Standing outside her door, he took a deep breath, trying to steady his racing heart. He knocked, and she answered almost immediately, her eyes searching his face.

“Kaz,” she said softly, stepping aside to let him in.

He walked in, the tension palpable between them. “We need to talk,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Kaz’s eyes roamed over the carefully arranged makeup on the vanity and the outfit draped over the bed. It was clear she had plans for the evening, it struck him with an unsettling realization.

“I have a bachelorette party later,” Y/n said, her voice betraying a hint of defensiveness as she closed the door behind him.

Kaz’s frustration flared up again. “What happened yesterday?” he asked, his tone blunt. There was no room for pleasantries; he wanted answers, and he wanted them now.

Y/n met his gaze briefly before looking away, her eyes wandering to the floor. “They invited me over and I went,” she replied with a shrug, as though it were a trivial matter.

“Why?” Kaz pressed, his voice taut with barely suppressed emotion. He was fighting to keep his voice steady, but it was clear that the pain was seeping through.

Y/n sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t know, Kaz. Because I wanted to. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”

Kaz let out a frustrated breath, his gaze falling to the floor as he tried to process her casual response. “Will I ever be enough for you?” he asked, the words tasting bitter on his tongue. Even asking the question felt like a stab to his own heart.

Y/n’s face was a mask of indecision. Her eyes darted around the room, refusing to meet his.

“Look, I can work on accepting your job. I will. But you have to compromise somewhere.” Kaz’s frustration mounted.

“You’re still taking for granted that I want a serious relationship with you,” Y/n scoffed, crossing her arms defensively. “What about the fact that I don’t want to be put on a pedestal just because you’re trying to make things work?”

Kaz’s anger flared. “Why do we have to keep doing this? You want this as much as I do. Just admit it, for Ghezen’s sake.”

Y/n’s expression hardened, her eyes meeting his letting her frustration transpire. “How can you be so sure of what I want?” she asked, her voice tinged with defiance and vulnerability.

Kaz stepped closer, his gaze intense as he looked directly at her. “Because I see you, Y/n. I see how you act around me. The way you look at me, the way you talk to me. Just be honest with yourself. Would it be so terrible to admit that you have feelings for me? Would the world fucking collapse if you allowed yourself to have something real for once?”

Y/n’s eyes flashed with hurt. She moved to sit on the edge of the bed, her posture rigid. “It’s not that simple, Kaz. You think you have all the answers, but you don’t understand what it’s like for me.”

Kaz ran a hand through his hair, struggling to keep his emotions in check. “Then tell me,” he pleaded, his voice cracking slightly. “Tell me what’s going on in your head, what you want.”

She looked down at her hands, her fingers fiddling with the hem of her dress. “It’s not just about us. It’s about my life, my choices. I’ve been hurt before, and I don’t want to fall into the same patterns.”

Kaz’s frustration began to simmer down as he tried to convey his sincerity. “I get that you’ve been hurt. But I’m not the same as your past. I’m trying to be here for you, to be someone you can rely on. But I need you to meet me halfway.”

Y/n looked away, shaking her head as though the very thought of it was too much to bear. Her eyes were fixed on a distant point, avoiding his gaze. “What do you want me to do that makes you believe me?” he asked, his voice tinged with desperation.

Kaz’s heart ached at the sight of her struggle. He took a step closer, his voice filled with earnestness. “I’m in love with you, Y/n. I’m tired of pretending that I’m not because you’re too scared.”

The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of his confession. For a moment, silence enveloped them, broken only by the distant hum of the city outside.

Y/n’s face paled as she absorbed his declaration. She took a deep breath, clearly fighting with her emotions. “I don’t know if you’ll ever be enough,” she said finally, her voice cracking with the weight of her admission. “I’ve cheated on every single one of my boyfriends. I’ll do it to you too.”

Kaz felt as though he’d been struck by a physical blow. The pain of her words was sharp and immediate. He staggered back, his expression exposing how her words hurt him. “You’re seriously comparing me to your past mistakes?” he asked, his voice trembling with anguish.

Y/n’s eyes filled with tears, but she continued to look away. “I’m trying to be honest with you, Kaz. I don’t want to hurt you, but I also don’t want to be with you under false pretenses.”

Kaz took a deep breath, his anger and hurt slowly giving way to a profound sense of sadness. He closed the distance between them, gently cupping her face in his hands, forcing her to meet his gaze. “I’m not asking you to be perfect,” he said softly. “I’m asking you to give us a chance. To not let your past dictate our future.”

Y/n’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, though her voice remained firm, almost defiant. “I can’t do this, Kaz.”

Kaz’s heart ached at the sight of her distress, the weight of her words pressing down on him. “I need you to trust me, to trust us,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. The quiet desperation in his tone contrasted sharply with the mounting frustration in Y/n’s expression.

Her face, once filled with vulnerability, now hardened as anger began to surface. “What if I can’t change, Kaz? What if I keep making the same mistakes?” Her voice trembled with frustration and fear, each word laced with a painful honesty.

Kaz shook his head, his gaze unwavering and intense. “Then we’ll face those mistakes together. I’m not asking for perfection, just for you to try. To fight for us, instead of running away.” His words carried the weight of his commitment, his desire to overcome the hurdles they faced.

Y/n’s frustration boiled over, her hands clenching into fists at her sides. “I don’t want to hurt you, Kaz. I’m already doing it!” Her voice was loud, desperate, her eyes flashing with a fierce intensity. “Why can’t you see it?”

Kaz’s expression remained steely, though his eyes were darkened with hurt. “If you’re doing this to push me away, know that it won’t work. If you think that what you did yesterday will make me give up, you couldn’t be more wrong.” His tone was cold, resolute, a stark contrast to the pain he felt inside.

Y/n sighed, her jaw tight with determination. “I will make you hate me so much, and I don’t want that.” Her words were raw, anger and sorrow spilling out.

“Why?” Kaz’s voice was rising too, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “Why are you so fucking scared?”

“Because I’m in love with you!” Y/n’s voice cracked, the confession escaping in a shout. The admission hung heavy in the air, its impact palpable.

The room fell silent, the intensity of the moment settling over them. Kaz’s face softened, a glimmer of hope and tenderness appearing in his eyes. He took a few tentative steps towards her, their gazes locked in a silent battle of wills.

“Was it so difficult—” Kaz began, his voice low and full of hurt.

“Get out.” Y/n’s voice was sudden and firm, a stark contrast to the emotional storm that had preceded it. She moved away from him, her body language a clear barrier to any further conversation.

Kaz stopped in his tracks, his brow furrowing in confusion and pain. “Y/n, please—”

“No. Out.” Her voice was resolute, her eyes cold and distant. She crossed her arms over her chest, the finality of her command cutting through the space between them.

Kaz hesitated, his heart breaking with each second he remained. “Please, Y/n, let’s talk this out.”

But Y/n’s resolve did not waver. “Get out, Kaz. I don’t want to see you.” Her voice was firm, almost unyielding.

Kaz took one last look at her, his heart heavy with the weight of their unresolved issues. With a deep, resigned sigh, he turned and walked towards the door, each step echoing his sense of defeat.

Kaz drove home in silence, the hum of the engine a mere backdrop to the chaos in his mind. The city lights blurred past, but he barely registered their presence. The fight with Y/n replayed over and over in his thoughts, each repetition a painful reminder of the depth of his own frustration and hurt.

He thought about stopping for a drink, hoping that alcohol might numb the ache, but he lacked the energy to follow through. Instead, he found himself standing in his living room, staring blankly at the TV. The flickering images and soft sounds from the screen failed to penetrate his numbness. It was as if the world outside had become a distant, irrelevant backdrop to his personal turmoil.

Kaz sank into the couch, his body heavy and unresponsive. The dress he had glimpsed earlier, hanging neatly on the bed, seemed to taunt him now. Y/n had been preparing for a bachelorette party, a vivid contrast to the raw emotion and conflict they had just shared. He wondered, with a sharp pang of jealousy, who she might be with.

The words she had said echoed painfully in his mind, Because I’m in love with you. How could such a declaration hurt so much? Had she been holding these feelings for a long time? When had she come to this realization, and why had it come out in such a destructive manner?

Kaz cursed himself, his thoughts spiraling into self-reproach. He blamed himself for not standing his ground, for not being more resolute in his own convictions. He had let her push him away, and now he was left with nothing but regret and confusion. He felt like a fool for not having pretended more, for not masking his own vulnerabilities better.

He pulled out his phone repeatedly, his thumb hovering over her contact, desperate to reach out. Each time, he hesitated. The image of her dressed up for the party haunted him. Had she already moved on? Was she out having fun, completely indifferent to the chaos she had left behind?

His mind raced with worst-case scenarios—imagining her going back home with someone else. The uncertainty gnawed at him, each question feeding his anxiety.

In the end, his internal turmoil took its toll. He drifted into an uneasy sleep on the couch, his body restless and his mind trapped between wakefulness and slumber. His thoughts continued their relentless cycle, a barrage of doubts and fears. The sleep he did get was fractured and uncomfortable, his dreams filled with fleeting, disjointed images that mirrored his emotional state. He was caught in a state of limbo, too exhausted to confront his feelings fully but unable to escape the painful reality of his own heartache.

A loud, insistent banging on the door jolted Kaz from his restless sleep on the couch. The noise seemed to pierce through the haze of his thoughts, pulling him out of the disjointed, half-conscious state he had been trapped in. Glancing at his phone, he saw it was nearly 5 a.m., and his heart raced with dread. He didn’t dare to let himself feel hopeful.

With a groan, he staggered to the door, his steps heavy with fatigue. When he opened it, Y/n stumbled into the apartment, clearly inebriated. She was wearing a pair of sunglasses, one lens reading “Family” and the other “Destroyer.” A sparkly sash that said “Bridesmaid” was draped across her shoulders, and a sparkly tiara was on her head, adding to the absurdity of her appearance.

Kaz watched as she leaned heavily against the wall for support, her posture unsteady. “Hi,” she said, her voice slurred and her head tilted to the side in an attempt at casualness.

“Hi,” Kaz replied, his voice subdued but edged with concern.

“I lost my phone,” she muttered, annoyance coloring her tone.

Kaz's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I’m sorry, how was the party?”

“Sad,” she replied with a dismissive wave. “Another one of those bitches is getting married. Why should we celebrate?”

Kaz chuckled softly, finding a semblance of normalcy in her disjointed rant. “For some people, there’s nothing better.”

“Like for you?” she asked, her gaze steady but unfocused.

“Maybe,” Kaz said honestly.

“Did you want to marry Inej?”

Kaz's face momentarily softened at the mention of his past. “For some time, yes.”

Y/n nodded, the motion slightly exaggerated as she fumbled with her sunglasses. She removed them with a slight grimace, revealing eyes that were glassy and red-rimmed from the effects of alcohol. “My head is spinning,” she muttered, her voice tinged with irritation.

Kaz guided her gently to the couch, helping her sit down. He settled beside her, waiting for her to gather herself and explain why she had come.

“So?” Y/n turned her head slightly to face him, her expression a mix of drunken clarity and vulnerability.

“So?” Kaz echoed, puzzled by her abrupt change in demeanor.

Y/n’s eyes, though clearly affected by her state, held a glimmer of the sincerity that had been present in their earlier, more intense conversations. Her makeup was still fairly intact, her eyeliner was now slightly smudged but still dramatic. Despite the disarray, there was something poignantly beautiful about her in that moment.

“So,” she continued, her words more deliberate now, “I’m in love with you. You’re in love with me. What now, Brekker?”

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x you #six of crows #six of crows fanfic #soc #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker angst

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violetrainbow412-blog · 1 year

Text

Flowers [K. B]

Kaz Brekker x reader

word count: 8.4k

summary: some jealousy motivates Kaz to finally face how he feels about you

A/N: I have literally weeks writing this and I hope I got it right, I tried to write the reaction of jealousy as appropriate to Kaz as possible lmao. Also, when this Freddy photoshoot came out I just imagined. You'll find out later, I hope you enjoy it!

taglist: @rustyyyyspoonz @be-lla-vie @milkshake0 @ladespedidas

Kaz took a deep breath before opening the door, bracing himself for what he would face as he crossed into the next room, already a tremendous hubbub.

It was Inej's birthday and you had insisted on throwing her a celebration, something everyone else was excited about, because you thought that of all of you she was the most likely not to have had such a party. Well, actually the main candidate was Kaz but he would kill all of you when he found out that you had arranged a surprise for him.

You had decorated the room in The Slat and you had invited (threatened, rather) the members of The Dregs so that they would celebrate your friend and you also invited (to them, kindly) some girls from The Menagerie, with the security that if someone tried to touch them you would defend them. You also told the criminals that if they thought of bringing a gift they would make sure that it was not stolen, nor was it stained with blood, nor was it from the corpse of a dead person. And so far everything was perfect.

"Kaz!" he was greeted by Per Haskell, who had been playing cards at a table and already had a couple of drinks on him "Son, I admit that when you said you wanted to have a party I thought you were crazy, but this is great."

"Y/N wanted to do it, I didn't" he murmured sincerely and Per just laughed. Parties weren't really his thing, though he'd probably feel better after some alcohol. He looked for his usual group to get closer to them and not die from the anxiety that social situations generated in him.

He found five of his crows chatting and laughing at a table on which was an empty chair, which Kaz thought was surely for him.

"Look who decided to join the party" Nina mocked, looking at the black-haired boy with a smile.

"Happy birthday, Inej" he murmured politely, as he handed the girl a leather case containing a nice set of knives. Her eyes lit up as she thanked her friend and Kaz allowed himself to smile "Is anyone sitting here?"

"Y/N" replied Jesper, who had an arm around Wylan's shoulders "But she's been missing for a while."

"Maybe she's helping out in the kitchen," suggested Matthias, who was feeling more relaxed than usual.

"Huh-uh" Wylan denied, with a mischievous smile, while he took a sip of his drink "Look there" he exclaimed and his head pointed surreptitiously in one direction.

All eyes at the table looked at you at the bar and Kaz, who hadn't seen you before, was surprised by how jovial you looked. You had left your hair loose and you were wearing light-colored clothing, very different from the usual black, gray, or brown, along with ribbon adorning your hair, but the smile that this generated in the black-haired man was replaced by a frown upon noticing that you were smiling broadly towards another person. Towards a man.

"That girl is on fire" the Grisha mocked, quite proud, and the others made similar comments, between laughs.

"Who is that?" Kaz hissed, sounding angrier than he intended, at Inej, who was closest to him and most likely to know the answer due to your friendship.

“A new guy that Per hired, I thought you knew him. I heard that he comes from Shu Han”

At that moment he turned around and he could see the features that demonstrated that theory: tanned skin, slightly slanted eyes, and black hair. He wore a simple outfit, in very poor taste according to Kaz, and he couldn't have been more than 17 years old. He was just a brat who was too close to you.

Although he didn't say anything, you only needed to see the expression on his face to know that he wasn't happy, something that fortunately no one paid attention to, because they assumed that it was just a normal reaction in Kaz when seeing any kind of displays of affection.

"He's handsome," Jesper muttered, and Wylan turned to give him a pointed glare. "I mean, not like you, nobody's as handsome as you, but he… got his stuff."

Was he really handsome? Kaz didn't know if he was in a position to judge that, since he didn't even know if he was what someone would consider 'attractive'. That had never bothered him, of course, he was simply curious as to what the others might think. What could you think about, actually.

Most of them decided that the matter didn't deserve any more importance and they continued talking about other things, almost all of them logically related to Inej, however, he couldn't take his eyes off you and your peculiar company for even a second. He noticed you chuckled softly and when you did, he could see the guy across from you reach out to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear; Kaz squeezed his cane to appease the urge to go do the same to the aforementioned neck.

Almost as if you felt the heavy gaze you looked in his direction and when your eyes met you smiled reflexively, making his heart race. You still chatted for a while, but your attention wasn't entirely on your new friend now that you were aware of Kaz in the great room. In due course you apologized to him and before saying goodbye he stroked your arm too confidently, promising that he would make sure to look for you later. After he left you practically ran to the table where your friends were.

"Y/N" Inej laughed, feeling you hug her from behind.

“How is the most beautiful birthday girl in the place doing?” you asked excitedly, kissing her on the top of the head and hearing her reply that everything was excellent “Oh, hello, Mr. Brekker. What a joy that you honor us with your presence” you joked as if you had barely noticed, and you were disappointed to see the unfriendly look he gave you.

“Who was the young man you were talking to?” Nina asked casually, while her boyfriend shook his head at how gossipy she was sometimes.

"Lior?" you muttered. So that was the name that should be written on the tombstone "It's huh... a new guy, he was thanking me for inviting him"

“I hope he doesn't get used to it,” Kaz said grudgingly. “Don't think there will be any more birthday parties. Much less with all these Dregs”

A collective groan was heard, alleging that the boss was very bitter and appealing to 'healthy coexistence', which amused you.

"That was my chair, shall I sit on your lap or shall we bring a new one?" you exclaimed, close to the man's ear. Kaz didn't expect that and it was obvious you didn't mean it, but he had to abruptly get up from his chair and walk away, leaving all of you stunned.

"What did you say to him?"

"Nothing! I just told him that I was sitting there, but I was kidding, I didn't want him to leave”

“That's how he is,” Inej said, with a touch of bitterness and a shrug. But you didn't take that so lightly, you hated that Kaz was mad at you because he made you feel so guilty, even if you didn't know what he was mad at. Maybe you had crossed some line? You weren't even going to! It had only been nonsense that had escaped your lips for the liquid value that you had ingested.

You ended up taking the chair that he had left empty and although you participated actively in the conversation you couldn't help but feel restless. Of course you didn't know that Kaz had left there to prevent you from noticing his cheeks flushed with fury at the scene he had seen and the way you had said the name of this Lior guy, a blush that only increased when he felt your breath so close to his skin and hear your soft voice.

First he had to calm down, why had that bothered him in the first place? Although he was aware of a certain protective relationship that he had towards all of you, it was not normal to feel that anger when you were talking to someone else, or when another man was touching you. Jesper was constantly holding your hand, once he had found you and Wylan cuddled up sleeping on a couch and you always challenged Matthias to fights you knew you weren't going to win and he just laughed it off, making no effort. But that was different, he had touched you… with other intentions. Kaz was no fool and he knew better than anyone that you were beautiful in every way, no matter how hard he tried to deny it. He maybe couldn't appreciate the masculine beauty, but, although it was not in his total interest, he could judge the feminine. So he was mad because a guy was interested in you? Was that what explained the heat that grew in his chest and that now he himself was torturing him? But why?

“Kaz Brekker?” said a voice behind him. He had gone outside to get some air and didn't recognize who had called him until he turned around. Today was his damn lucky day "My name is Lior, Per said that you are like the boss"

"I'm not like the boss" Kaz replied with total contempt "I'm the boss"

"Huh, yeah, sure. I'm sorry. I just wanted to introduce myself” Kaz looked at him without saying anything, obviously trying to make the other understand that he had no interest in meeting him, and the boy took the opportunity to clear his throat before speaking again “And… ask you if… a girl I was talking to is from your team. She mentioned you before, her name is Y/N”

Kaz didn't know what that Lior had in mind to go and ask him such a thing, but for a moment he believed in the Saints and thanked them for making him so stupid.

"And what does that interest you, silly boy?" he muttered. Lior was probably the same age as Kaz, but the black-haired man had the advantage of being a few inches taller, of having an imposing presence leaning on his cane, and of… well, being the fucking boss.

"In nothing, I just thought I'd ask you" replied Lior, visibly dismayed by the unexpected hostility of his new leader, and mistakenly thinking that he would fix something, he continued: "She's very kind and I wanted to get to know her better, I thought you could help me”

“You're here to steal, spy and obey orders, you're not here to meet girls, let alone someone like her. So I recommend you keep your distance and focus on the job, which is why we hired you”

To say that Lior was terrified was an understatement, even though the opponent had held back a bit. For a moment he thought that Kaz took his job very, very seriously (it was partly true) so that's why he had been so annoyed at the suggestion of him looking for one of his close friends. He never knew that he was mad to hear that someone so vulgar wanted to befriend his Y/N.

"Kaz!" for a second he thought he was imagining your voice, but when you appeared a few seconds later he knew it wasn't like that "I was looking for you, you... Lior" you interrupted yourself, looking at the other young man who had paled a little "I see that you are already met"

"Yes, we already had the fortune" he answered with all the sarcasm existing in his body, although you didn't notice it.

"I was leaving, anyway"

“Wait, have this,” you said, handing the boy a piece of paper “It's a restaurant, Nina and I go there for breakfast all the time. If you ever want to join us, just say so” Your tone was so kind and your face so happy that Kaz was afraid he would start foaming at the mouth.

"Yes, I..." Lior didn't dare look at Kaz, who was watching him with murderous eyes "I'll think about it, bye"

"Bye," you replied, a little disappointed by his lack of effusiveness.

"You really want to make new friends," he snorted with inevitable scorn.

“Well yeah, my old friends run away from me,” you muttered, keeping your tone playful no matter how upset he was. Then you sighed and got a little more serious, “Listen, I know you hate parties and people, but I would really appreciate it if you were with us at the table. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I did this to have a fun time and to make Inej happy. There is alcohol inside, if you don't like it, I can find you something better to prepare the drink you prefer but, please, stay even for a while"

His frown on him relaxed considerably as he watched your pleading eyes looking down at him but the unknown feeling towards the new guy grew like flames consuming an entire forest. You had told him where you used to go for breakfast, which meant you wanted to see him again.

“Only if you promise not to go out with that idiot”

“With Lior? And why shouldn't I?

"I already told you. He's an idiot" he said simply and you laughed.

"And how do you know?"

"He looks like one"

"You're going to need a better reason than that and probably a bouquet to convince me otherwise," you muttered, totally sure that the latter was so ridiculous that it would only prove that you weren't going to change your mind. Lior wasn't the most handsome guy for you, that place was reserved for someone special, but you had decided that giving him a chance wasn't such a bad idea “Come on, don't be grumpy, and let's go in there. I got a cake and you don't want to miss it,” you said, starting to walk back inside, and after sighing Kaz followed you without question.

Once morning came the birthday cheer was gone and things went on as usual; going to the Crow club, keeping order at The Barrel, odd jobs, and a couple of unfortunate fights.

In the span of a week you had already seen Lior at least three times, and he always seemed to be conveniently close to various places you frequented. Being with him was nice and little by little you were getting used to his company, the only thing that seemed too strange to you was that every time Kaz appeared in the same place as you he said goodbye and left immediately before your boss could see it. You assumed he was just afraid of him, like most people, and you didn't say anything.

Suddenly you began to think that you had hardly seen the man in those days and you wondered if he was attending to your basic needs since you had hardly seen him go to the kitchen of the place for the food that you prepared. Sometimes loaves of bread would disappear, but that was Fahey's trademark.

"You are listening?" asked Lior, who was in front of you at a betting table and had brought you out of your musings. You were taking a break at the club and again he was hanging around so you thought about having a drink but right now you only remembered the beginning of what he had been saying to you so you couldn't lie to him even if you wanted to. You just smiled embarrassedly in response, making him laugh. "Too much to think about?"

"No, none of that. I was only gone for a moment"

"Well," he started to say, with what you'd already recognized as a flirtatious smile, "I hope I can find you when that happens."

You were going to answer something when you heard a fight near you. A couple of drunks had a disagreement over who had won the game and they thought the most effective way to settle it was beating. You quickly got up from your chair to separate them and had to dodge the fists several times, having no luck a couple of times. Lior was about to jump in to help you when suddenly one of the men fell to the ground with a thud. Everyone in the room looked in the direction of whoever had knocked him down and there was the only logical option.

"If you guys want to beat up each other like animals, do it outside my establishment," was all Kaz said. You were still holding the other man back, but he didn't put up much of a fight when he and his friend were escorted outside. You shook off your jacket and rubbed your arm where one of them had managed to hit you.

This time Lior couldn't escape the boss's eyes and Kaz felt his blood boil again at the sight of his face. He still didn't fully understand the nature of his feelings, but it was clear to him that he didn't want you near that boy after a couple of days when you no longer stopped by to say hello in his office or struck up a conversation with him. Although, indeed, he was never the most sociable now he wanted to make an effort to spend more time with you, but he had difficulties finding ways to do it.

"Damn drunks, huh?"

“Did they hurt you?" he asked quietly. You looked up in confusion and took a moment to process it. Was Kaz worrying about you?

I mean, he cared for all of you during missions and times of real danger, but on those occasions he just saw to it that you stayed alive and continued his duties. It was weird hearing something verbal.

"Nothing I can't handle," you replied, with a challenging little smile.

“I want you to help me with some things. Unless you're busy…”

Saying this he looked at the skinny boy behind you, who looked away immediately. If there was one thing to be recognized about Kaz, it was how he never showed fragility and therefore forced others to surrender first.

"It's that urgent?"

"So I would say"

Now it was you who held his gaze for a few seconds, looking for something implicit that would reveal why he now wanted to take you to another place, but there was nothing. There was only neutrality in those beautiful blue eyes.

“Lior, I have to go. Some work" you exclaimed and he internally celebrated the apparent victory that you had chosen him over someone else, although the satisfaction was short-lived when he saw that you took a step and planted a kiss on the boy's cheek.

Kaz thought about how he wasn't mad at you, but at him, and it suddenly dawned on him that he was actually jealous. That was what he was feeling like a plague.

Jealousy.

You noticed the radical change in his attitude when he didn't even look at you and began to walk quickly down the hall, so you had to speed up to keep up with him. Worst of all, he didn't really have anything he needed help with, he'd just said it so you wouldn't be with the Shu boy, so when you set foot in the office he was stunned.

“I want you to help me sort these documents by date,” he said, extending in your direction a huge folder that he found in a drawer that only contained papers from the previous year. It was not necessary to order that because he had already used it, but he preferred to ask you that than look completely dumb.

"And the magic words?"

"Abracadabra?" he said sarcastically, but he sighed heavily at the sight of your crossed arms and your clear intentions of not taking the folder until he said so "Please, Y/N"

“Do you see how cute you sound being a polite child?” you exclaimed to annoy him and before another complaint you took the things and placed yourself in an empty end of the desk.

Kaz watched you from time to time, intent on your task, your lips slightly pouting, and each time he did he felt his heart swell.

What was happening to him? he was afraid that he would find out and not like the answer.

You finished in record time and he let you off to wherever you wanted to go through the door, a little worried that it was with the new kid. As soon as you left he took his hat, coat, and cane to go directly to The Slat, hoping that the person he needed was there.

He knocked on the door a couple of times, but no one answered and for a moment he felt desperate. He badly needed the help of the one person he knew who wouldn't judge him for asking obvious questions and also had enough discretion so that others wouldn't realize he suspected he had feelings for you. He suspected.

He was going to make one last attempt which wasn't necessary as the door swung open as he raised his fist, revealing a small figure with loose hair and less weaponry than usual.

“Kaz?”

"Hello, Inej"

You were sitting in the dining room of your shared house, pouring yourself some coffee in a chipped cup hoping it was strong enough to wake you up, while you racked your brains trying to solve the mystery that had been bothering you for a few days ago.

Turns out, after the drunken brawl incident and helping Kaz, you had gone to rest, falling asleep on the bed almost immediately. No problem with that. The strange thing was that the next day you had woken up with a bouquet of wildflowers of various colors resting on the nightstand. The first time you thought that you had put it there and you didn’t remember it, so you just sniffed it with pleasure and placed it in a glass of water. Normal day, you went to sleep at the end and the next morning there it was again. You knew that it was not the one you had collected the day before because these were in the glass. A little confused, you put the new flowers with the old ones and continued with your day, without imagining that the next morning things would repeat themselves. Three times in a row was already disturbing, so you made an effort to imagine who was the author of all this. If it was the girls, it was nice that they had such detail, and you could have even tolerated it from Jes, Wylan, or Matthias, but if it was an outsider then it was a worrying situation because it implied that a lunatic had been messing around to your room at night for a week straight. You made sure to lock your room and still, the flowers appeared there, as if it were a magic trick.

Was it Lior? Impossible, or you would have seen him come in in the morning or at night. Also, one day you had woken up earlier than usual and even that time the flowers were there.

"Bonjour" greeted an energetic Jesper, who had appeared still in nightwear, and ruffled your hair as he approached you "You don't look very lively"

"I am not a morning person," you said sipping your coffee.

One by one your other companions joined the morning coffee, Kaz being the last to arrive. It was funny how much 'morning drinks' could say about each of you: Inej drank coffee with some sugar, Jesper coffee with cream, Wylan drank tea, Matthias just milk, Nina hot chocolate and lastly you and Kaz shared a taste for the coffee bitter and very hot, so it was not a surprise that when he arrived you already had a cup for him.

“We're running low on supplies,” Matthias announced, pointing to the empty cupboard, to which you groaned.

None of you had any culinary skills, but since you were the least likely to give them food poisoning, they had all decided that you would be the designated cook, which included doing the shopping.

"I'll go to the market later"

“I will accompany you,” Kaz said, so fast that they all fell silent and turned their heads to look at him. Observing the situation, he adopted a defensive attitude "I need to buy some things too and I have to make sure Y/N isn't wasting money"

“Sure, my specialty is diverting resources by saying I bought potatoes,” you joked, rolling your eyes. “If you want to go with me, let's go now. At this time there are fewer people" you explained and he nodded. You just finished drinking your coffee and grabbed a large bag in which you loaded the food before leaving the building.

As soon as you got out, they started speculating.

"Why did Kaz want to go?"

"I wonder the same thing"

“Maybe he really did have things to buy,” Matthias said, and though Nina heard her black-haired man's racing heart, she decided not to contradict anyone. Inej looked at her almost as if she read her thoughts and they both shared a knowing look without saying anything.

On the way to the market, neither of you spoke, but he noted that you were right when you said that the city was quieter at that time, probably because life in The Barrel really began when night fell.

The market was quite a distance away, but he put up with it like a champ, so when you got there you were very hungry and you assumed he was the same.

“Eat,” you said suddenly, extending to Kaz a piece of bread with jam inside that you loved to buy when you went there “I pay for this with my own money, by the way. So you don't accuse me of being a thief."

"You are a thief," he reminded you, grimacing and taking a bite of the piece of food. It was sweet, freshly made, and melted in the mouth.

You two walked for a couple of blocks, still in silence, while you were choosing food. You were wondering what those 'things' were that Kaz needed to buy and when he would ask you to make a detour to a store, but the moment didn’t seem to come, which made you suspect that there was really no such reason and it was just an excuse. You were curious as to what he might be looking for by doing that and you let your mind wander to possible answers, from when he was looking for advice he didn't yet know how to ask to when he just needed some fresh air and jumped at the chance, without you being involved in any way.

Kaz, for his part, was entering a crisis. He wanted to talk to you and have a nice time but he didn't know how to do it. He had thought that, once you were alone, the words would sprout by themselves and then you would continue the conversation, however, he had limited himself to watching you feel the fruits to decide which was ripe and which was not.

“Do you think she really likes that boy?”

“I don't know” Inej had told him “But I don't think that's the case either” she continued and her friend nodded his head “I think what she likes about him is that he listens to her and keeps her company; he is attentive to her. You could start there."

"Are you hungry?"

"A little, nothing that will kill me"

"Let's have breakfast" he murmured. Did it sound like an order? Yes, but he hoped to get a little better with practice.

"Only if you pay" you answered with a mischievous smile.

He led you to a small establishment you'd never been to, which he probably chose because he was all alone, and you sat at one of the little tables with worn cushioned chairs, facing each other. The question you wanted to ask him was on the tip of your tongue, but you were still working up the courage to gesticulate it.

Kaz ordered some eggs and bacon and since you were craving something sweet you ordered some fried dough stuffed with currants, on the recommendation of your companion, and both of you ordered the second coffee of the day.

"And what is?"

"What is what?"

“The deal” you exclaimed, as if it were obvious, but he didn't seem to understand “I suppose if we came here alone it's so you can ask me to make a deal. Steal, spy on someone right?"

He was stunned for a moment. Didn't you notice the effort he was making? Was that your idea of his actions? Honestly he couldn't blame you, because, probably, in other circumstances that would have been the case to isolate himself from the others in the group. But not now.

"There's nothing" he replied, but you narrowed your eyes to let him know that you didn't believe him "No tricks, I promise"

"So does that mean I'm the boss's favorite?" you asked with mock enthusiasm, deciding to play with his patience a bit.

"Shut up or you're going to lose your privileges," he countered. It felt good to tease you, have a little fun for a change.

You were sitting there until the mass of people that gathered at noon allowed it and then you returned to The Slat with your hands loaded with bags that at some point in the day you would place in the cupboard, not wanting to do it immediately so as not to spoil the atmosphere of peace between you and Kaz, who hadn't left you yet.

“Anything in particular you want for lunch?” you asked, moving closer to him. It was just the two of you in the kitchen and the rest of the place was relatively quiet. "You know, to offer you privileges to threaten you with later."

He almost laughed, but the suppressed smile you saw on him was enough to make you want to see more. You and Kaz were friends (or so you hoped, at least) but there weren't many memories between you like that, almost all of them were related to work or at the club or with one of you saving the other's ass. You had only once helped him heal a wound, just because he couldn't reach that section of his back and then he justified himself by asking for your help by saying that it had been partly your fault, which was totally false but that you weren't going to argue with him if that made him feel less embarrassed.

It felt different, like something more relaxed, soft… more domestic. You had just returned from shopping together, you had eaten an exquisite breakfast that he paid for and now you were asking him what he wanted you to prepare for him to eat… were you a couple of criminals or a newly married couple?

The thought of a marriage with Kaz warmed your cheeks and you wanted to laugh at how absurd that would be.

"Whatever you want, anyway, my stomach already has enough defenses against indigestion" upon hearing this you barely pushed his arm, but as soon as you did, your eyes widened as you remembered who you were talking to, although to your surprise he didn’t complain.

"I'll make pea soup," you informed. You knew it was one of his favorites because of the second course he always served himself when he thought no one else was looking. You did, you looked at Kaz Brekker all the time.

He just hummed in the affirmative and left without another word.

During the course of the morning you did more activities, but you couldn't stop thinking about him and the walk they had taken together. Suddenly you would surprise yourself remembering his expressions at your bad jokes and smiling like a fool when you thought about how beautiful his eyes looked with the brightness of that morning.

Kaz ever had a partner? Did he like someone? Was he even interested in those things? You didn't know, but it wasn't a crime to have some admiration for him either, right? Jeez, he'd only been a little nice to you, why were you so excited about that?

You had never thought about whether you had feelings for him, beyond the initial working relationship that had now become a kind of family bond, although now you were reflecting on it.

And later, when his expression brightened from the plate of food you served him, you felt that it might not be such a wrong idea.

I like your smile.

It was the only note that had been left with the flowers, which you had been receiving for quite some time. Always without fail, always on the nightstand in your room.

Although you were worried about who this "secret admirer" might be, your curiosity was greater and you had been careful not to mention anything to your friends. Well, it was really just the boys, because Inej and Nina knew a lot about things, since the jobs to steal were scarce lately, you guys had more time to do anything else.

Kaz trusted any of you so he let you roam the Crow club as you please, but also to check that things were in order: no scammers, control fights, check that the girls weren't harassed by the clients, things like that.

That night the club was short of a barista, so you and Wylan had split the responsibility for it by taking turns meeting the demand.

He was more skilled than you at making cocktails, perhaps due to his chemical mixing skills, but still the boy was patient with you and he only laughed when you messed up.

"I prefer this to be like poor Jes” you muttered amused, because from where you could see the boy sitting next to the door playing with one of his guns, obviously annoyed because Kaz had ordered him to stay away from the gaming tables. You thought that Wylan also had something to do with it, because they both hated that it fueled their gambling problem "But I need to distract myself a bit, will you be okay by yourself?" you asked. You knew he would be fine so you walked out of the bar without much guilt.

You were taking a walk among the tables when you felt someone grab your arm and you turned defensively. It was Lior, who you had already served too many drinks for a person of his size and now he was suffering the consequences. After serving perhaps the fifth in a row you got a little worried, but you didn't want to intervene because you thought it was none of your business. As long as he paid them, you had no objection.

"Y/N," he said, drawing out his tongue. Several of the Dregs were standing around him, apparently also drinking some beer, and were watching you curiously. "Sit with us," he ordered, patting an unoccupied chair next to him.

You didn't want to be rude and tried to say you were working now, but he was insistent until you agreed to sit down for a few minutes. The other men weren't chatting with you, probably as a matter of avoiding trouble with the boss, but Lior was particularly eloquent. As an effect of alcohol, he didn’t measure distances and sometimes he would spill some beer near you or invade your personal space to talk to you. You let it go because you didn't want to cause a conflict and, to a certain extent, it was tolerable.

But after a while, his behavior became more annoying. He was holding your hand and even tried to stroke your leg, but what made you jump back was when he leaned in for a kiss. Luckily you had been faster.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" you asked flustered, drawing the attention of the others at the table.

"Oh, don't pretend you don't want to" he replied. His body leaned towards you again and you moved further away, which made him annoyed "I've seen how you look at me"

"Sorry, what?"

"You want me," he stated. You were suddenly startled by the confidence with which he was saying that and how deep his voice sounded, like that of a wild animal. And, from his perception, you played the role of the prey.

"That’s not true, fuck you," you spat, getting up from your chair, but you were stopped by his strong grip on your forearm.

"Come on, Y/N. You like me and I like you, stop making yourself difficult"

"I told you no" you exclaimed with a trembling voice. The problem wasn't whether or not you could face the boy, but that he had caught you off guard. Although it was true that you liked him a little, you weren't going to allow him to want to kiss you just like that, to say the least… because judging from his insistence, you doubted that a kiss was all he wanted.

You almost screamed as he pulled you towards him and this caught the attention of several people around you, but before you could do anything an object came between you and threw Lior back into his chair in one movement.

It was a cane.

It was clear that by this point several tables had already stopped their games to pay attention to the menacing expression of the bastard with the barrel hovering over a drunken kid imprisoned in his chair.

"No means no" Kaz said slowly and quite close to the challenging face of the opponent. It was almost like he had been watching you the whole time, waiting for the perfect moment to intervene, or maybe he just had a sixth sense that would alert him when one of his crows was in trouble.

He thought that this would be enough to scare the boy and withdrew the cane from his chest, intending to turn around to check on your well-being, but he did not count on the fact that Lior's drunken state also gave him the courage to dare to jump in to hit him. The black-haired man's instinct made him turn around just in time to stop the drunk and throw him face-first against the table, holding his folded hand against his back.

If there was anyone left who hadn't noticed the discussion that was enough for them to notice, including Wylan, Jesper, and Matthias who had risen from their places to intervene if necessary. But it probably wouldn't. Kaz was furious.

You saw him whisper in the boy's ear and you knew it was a threat from the expression on his face, in addition to the groan of pain that the youngest emanated when Kaz mercilessly pulled his arm.

He remained in that position for a moment, completely blinded by anger, enjoying the cries of pain the shu boy was making.

"Get him out of here" Kaz ordered The Dregs, who had been watching everything in silence. You also didn't get to hear what he said to one of them, but the chances of Lior waking up the next day in pain from a beating were pretty high.

As you backed away you collided with a huge body and calmed down to see that it was Matthias, asking if you were okay. It didn't take long for all the men of the team to gather around you to ask what had happened, but you were still a little stunned to answer coherently.

Even so, you looked for Kaz's gaze just to realize he didn't look angry, but worried and his eyes were in charge of communicating everything that his mouth didn't. Somehow you quietly reassured him too, but he couldn't bear to see the glitter that threatened to turn to tears.

"Thank you" you managed to whisper, still a little nervous.

“Take the night off,” the black-haired man murmured, again sounding more like an order than a suggestion. “Walk her to The Slat, Jesper. Matthias, stay at the door”

The three of them returned to their respective posts and for a moment you thought that Kaz was also going to accompany you, but when you looked back he was already rushing with a firm step towards the door where the rest of his men had left.

Once you were in your room, and Jesper made sure for the thousandth time that you were okay, the feeling of discomfort eased considerably, but you noticed the bruise already beginning to form on your forearm from the man's grip.

What had happened to him? He had always been kind to you and respectful... you didn't even think that he would behave like that with you. You were disgusted and even scared by how quickly things had happened, but you were infinitely grateful that Kaz had come like a guardian angel to help you. You probably could have handled that on your own, however, the shock of receiving that kind of treatment from a person you were beginning to trust and even care for was what put you at a disadvantage.

You struggled a lot to fall asleep, because a part of you felt very hurt and sad to think that you didn’t deserve to have sincere love, but one where they only wanted you for physical matters.

Also, the flowers didn't arrive that morning.

When you finally got out of bed you were having trouble concentrating on anything and Nina had to take care of breakfast because you were too sensitive to do anything. This didn’t go unnoticed and everyone insisted that you rest a little more, but when Kaz arrived and realized the situation he didn’t wait to take action on the matter.

“We’re going out,” he said, when he finally intercepted you alone in the kitchen area, even though you weren't in much of a mood at all.

"A job?"

"A walk" he corrected you. You looked confused but didn't say anything and when it was time to leave The Slat you realized that Kaz wasn't talking about hanging out in a group, but just the two of you.

You didn't know where he was taking you, yet the road was as silent as usual. He watched you out of the corner of his eye just to see if your features changed in any way with the landscape, the aromas, or the morning breeze, but he felt a little disappointed when he noticed that your expression was still serious and even a little sad.

He wished he had taken more time with Lior last night.

"He won't bother you again" when he remembered that, he felt the need to let you know that now you could rest easy, and that you know that he himself had taken care of dealing with the matter.

"I don't doubt it," you said, letting out a bitter laugh. You knew what Kaz was capable of when he was angry. "It's just... I feel silly."

"Did you love him?" the man asked. You had already arrived at the place where he wanted to take you in the first place: it was a small meadow, with a lonely bench and too much life to be in the sad and gloomy Ketterdam. It was like finding a little piece of heaven on earth.

“Love him? By God, no, of course not. It was nice to be with him, but… talking about love is too strong. He was just an idiot”

"I'm sorry this has happened" he exclaimed, a little calmer after hearing your negative words about the other man, and at the same time the fact that you were alone gave him a little more confidence to say what he was thinking without being judged, trying to make you realize that he really cared about you.

"It's okay" you smiled to reassure him. He was going to say something else when a purple stain caught his attention under the sleeve of your dress that you had already risked up to the biceps. The night before he didn't notice that the boy had hurt you when he struggled and at that moment his blood boiled with anger "It's nice"

"What?"

"The place," you said, looking everywhere; the slightly gray sky, the birds flying around, the flowers growing next to your feet, and Kaz right in front of you. All of that made up the beauty you were talking about. "Why did you bring me here?"

"I thought maybe you needed to calm down a bit"

"Then you're a good friend," you said softly. Kaz couldn't remember anyone using that term with as much fondness filtered into their voices as you just did.

Friends. You were friends, you loved him at least a little.

"I hope so. I don't have much practice” he confessed and you smiled tenderly. Although you wanted to keep seeing Kaz, something in you forced you to look at the floor, as if there was something there calling you.

The flowers… were those flowers. You could recognize them after receiving them for days and keeping them fresh in the vase: there were the yellow ones and the lilac ones, both with small petals and a brown center.

You paused for a moment to make sure you weren't misreading or confusing things, but when you knelt down to pick up a cluster you knew for a fact that your theory was correct.

"What a curious thing"

"The flowers?" he asked, trying to sound as calm as possible. Even though you couldn't see his face, you somehow knew he was frowning.

“I've been getting exactly these kinds of flowers every weekday for a while now,” you said, getting up and showing Kaz the plants. “The stranger places them on my nightstand before I wake up, every time, without fail. Except for today"

"Maybe I wanted you to come to see them in person"

You froze in place, not expecting such a quick confession from him, and he looked at your face for a reaction. You were still holding the cluster in your hand and you unconsciously squeezed it hard.

In a panic you tried to find another interpretation of his words that didn’t imply the fact that he was the author of those signs of love, but you couldn’t find it. And from the man's slightly embarrassed face, you assumed that was true.

But the worst thing about it was the existence of the note that had kept you tossing and turning the day you received it. I like your smile. Kaz had written that too?

"So... it was you"

"Who did you have in mind?" he asked, a bit defensive, and you smiled, shaking your head.

“No one, I didn’t imagine who it could be. Honestly, at first, it scared me to think that someone was stalking me” you said sincerely. You looked at the bouquet of flowers again and noticed that some were withered, thinking that Kaz probably always chose the prettiest ones to take with you. You fell silent, not of your choice, but because he wasn't saying anything, and then you closed the distance between you by taking a small step forward, still respecting his personal space but enough to make the conversation intimate. “Why did you do that?”

Words were never Kaz's strong suit and he felt his throat tighten as he tried to answer you. What could I tell you about that? Did he himself have a coherent reason for doing that?

He thought you were going to get mad at his silence, but you smiled tenderly because, although he didn't realize it, once again his eyes had been in charge of telling you everything he was keeping quiet about.

"I like them a lot" you spoke again. If he wasn't ready to tell you, you weren't going to push him "I put them in a vase every day and when they're withered I put them in a box" you confessed. Fearing rejection, you lowered your hand to his, took it for a moment to place it higher, and then placed your own flowers in his hand. He held them tremblingly "Calm down, I'm not going to tell anyone"

"Tell them what?"

"I'm the boss’s favorite" you joked and a knot formed in Kaz's stomach when he saw that your eyes dropped for a second to his lips and you licked yours, perhaps unconsciously. You pulled away from him because you thought he might be uncomfortable with the closeness and instead, you left him wanting to have been in that position a little longer “Do you want us to sit here? I like to watch the birds”

He ignored you and a few minutes later you two were sitting next to each other, still saying nothing. Kaz was looking at you out of the corner of his eye and he thought he couldn't be prouder that your sad expression was gone.

And how was I to be? If you had just discovered that you had the sympathy of the man you admired most in all of Kerch.

"You were right," he spoke suddenly, snapping you out of your thoughts about what it would feel like to be a bird and be able to fly.

"About what?"

"You're my favorite. As a person. You are my favorite person” he managed to say. His look from him was sweet and sincere "And I like to see you smile"

"You already told me," you said, trying to suppress a smile and feeling how the blood rose to your cheeks. It took you a moment to dare to say what you were thinking. “I appreciate you, Kaz. I mean it very seriously."

You two stayed there for what seemed like hours and just enjoyed each other's quiet company, the sound of the wind, and the sight of the place. You looked at the horizon and he watched you covertly, thinking about everything he would be able to do to keep you out of the dangers of the world and what he had not realized until the night before when your integrity was threatened.

One of your knees collided with his and Kaz, instead of pulling away from him, moved his knee slightly to rub against yours.

That day a silent pact had been sealed between you. He loved you and so did you.

No more words were necessary. Just lots of flowers.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #the crows #six of crows #jesper fahey #inej gafha #wylan van eck #nina zenik #mathias helvar #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 1 year

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Can we get that pt2 to gorgeous?????

I gotchu

Pt:2 Pretty (Kaz x fem!reader)

Summary: Kaz comes back concussed and says some interesting things in your care.

Trigger warnings: talks about slavery, violence, implied SA, injuries, a concussion

Fire graced the papers on the sidewalk as the deafening taps of Kaz's cane moved down the cobblestone path. He stopped in front of a man who was badly injured.

Kaz had hunted every individual that helped with your capture. This was the second to last name on the list. Each bullet had a name carved on it, a ritual that you taught him. "When you put their name on a bullet, it makes it so the last thing they feel is the damage their name caused" you said to him.

"You know, it's crazy" he said, using his foot to roll the injured man onto his back. The man yelped. "That you thought you could hurt one of my men and get away with it." Kaz said, looking at the man like dirt that had gotten on his shoe. "We were just doin' what we were paid to do!" The man groaned out. Kaz let out a humorless chuckle. "Is that so? So repeatedly torturing my crow was a part of the plan, hm?" He asked. "We were just--" Kaz kneeled to look in the man's eyes. "No excuse will save your pathetic life." Kaz snarled. He cocked the pistol in his hand, the man whimpering in fear. "You will never hurt anyone else again."

A loud shot rang out through the streets, you leaning up from your bed. Lev lifted his head, looking at you. You couldn't help but think that that somehow had to do with Kaz. You decided it was better to check, getting out of bed and sliding on a coat and boots, arming yourself before walking out. You'd have to be a fool to walk the streets of the Barrel unarmed, especially at night.

You walked to Kaz's home, knocking on the door. Kaz opened it, you looking at him. "You answered quickly." You said. "I was in the study." He shrugged. "In your coat?" You asked, walking in. He sighed, closing the door. "That gunshot I just heard, was that you?" You asked. "Yes" he said. "Why did you shoot someone?" You asked. "Territory issues." He shrugged. "If it was a territory issue, Inej, Jesper or me wouldn've gone with you." You said with a sigh.

"It was a simple done deal. There's nothing to worry about, the man is dead, the message has been sent." Kaz said, sitting down. You sighed. "Did you come here to pester me?" He asked. "I came to make sure you were fine." You said, sitting across from him. Kaz sighed. "I'm alright Y/n. Even better after I put a bullet in a man's head." He said. You heard a siren and you sighed. "Was that all you did?" You asked. Kaz looked at the floor vacantly. "He shouldn't have been playing with fire."

You leaned back, Kaz looking at you. He noticed dark bags under your eyes. "Are you sleeping well?" He asked. "That obvious?" You asked. "You have darker bags than mine." He said making you chuckle. "Lev helps... It's just.. hard. Sleeping in that house." You muttered. Kaz looked at you concerned. "You know that you can stay here." He said. "I don't want to put you out." You said. "You wouldn't be." He assured. You seemed to be afraid of the idea.

"If you don't feel comfortable doing that then it's alright." Kaz assured. You sighed, running a hand through your hair. "It's not that it's... I've started screamed when I wake up." You said. Kaz rose a brow. "You have night terrors?" He asked. "I've always had them... It's the downfall of being indentured. They've just have gotten worse since... everything." You muttered.

Kaz had never heard you actually talk about your past as a slave. Kaz had pulled you out of that shitty life and because of that, you were grateful. You went to great lengths for him, basically becoming his right hand man. You trusted him. You'd follow him into hell if he asked.

"I don't mind dealing with that." He said softly. Your gaze softened, and you sighed. "Where are your blankets?" You asked. "Why?" He asked. "I need one to sleep." You said confused. "The bed has one." Kaz said. "I'm not sleeping in your bed Kaz, then I'd actually put you out." You huffed. "We can share it, genius. I don't mind unless you do." He said. "No I don't mind but--" "Perfect, come." He said walking. You sighed. For someone who was known to be a greedy bastard, he was shockingly generous.

You followed him, seeing the home he assembled. It was dark, lot of darker colors like crimson and brown wood paneling aligned the wall. You walked into his room, Kaz just casually removing his shirt as he walked in. Typical responses would've involved you looking away but he had done this plenty of times that you didn't bat an eye. He'd often call you in while he washed himself off, telling you plans as he did so.

You'd play the part of pretending that it was just normal procedure but your heart always did backflips as you saw him. You took off your jacket, putting it on a chair and setting your boots on the floor. Kaz looked over his shoulder as he changed. You noticed something on a table in the room, walking over to it, Kaz heard your footsteps but said nothing.

The paper was a list. Names had been crossed off, all them being people amongst the Dime Lions. It felt like you had the air leave your lungs from shock. "You killed them?" You asked. Kaz's movement ceased. He slowly looked at you holding the list. "I didn't want them going after you again." Kaz said.

You looked at him concerned. "You could've gotten killed Kaz!" You said, looking at him. "I wanted you to feel safe." He said calmly. "Kaz- you fucked with a rival gang-- What if they kill you!?" You asked panicked. "I am fine" He assured. "But what if-" "I am fine." He said, looking at you.

He was closer now, you could feel his breath. "They can't hurt anyone again. That is what matters." He said softly. "But what if you had gotten hurt?" You asked. "I didn't get hurt." He said. "Kaz-" He put a hand on your cheek, your hand holding the list dropping. You looked in Kaz's eyes.

He was so gentle with you, it didn't make any sense. Nothing made sense anymore. Not since you were bought out of slavery with Inej. You could remember when you walked out the pleasure house for the first time after your freedom.

Granted Ketterdam always had that cloudy smog hanging over the city, it felt like you had stepped out into the light for the first time. Kaz saw the relief on your face. It looked as if you had the weight of the world suddenly lifted from your shoulders.

There was a crack of thunder that made you both realize the closeness. You backed up, clearing your throat. "Thank you... For... This." you said holding up the list. "They deserved it." Kaz said, returning back to his typical demeanor. You nodded mindlessly.

You set the list back down and sat on the bed, looking around. You had probably stood in this room dozens of times but not once had you actually examined it. "You really like the dark, don't you?" you asked. "Hides the monsters you can see in the light." he said laying down. Such an odd statement but one that made sense to you.

Children often slept with lights on to keep the monsters in the dark at bay, yet as you got older you got used to your demons being there. You just didn't want to see them anymore. Kaz sat on the other side, climbing into bed. You seemed to hesitate but eventually laid down.

Hours passed with you staring at the ceiling. Kaz, unbeknownst to you had also been awake, staring at the wall. Sharing a bed was a bigger challenge to him. It was especially harder because he actually cared about you.

He had been listening to your breathing the entire time, not one moment had passed where he lost track of your breaths. You rolled over, looking at Kaz's back. You could tell he wasn't asleep then, noticing the shallow breaths of an awake man. "Can't sleep either?" you asked quietly. Kaz rolled over to face you.

"It appears insomnia has caught the best of me." He lied. You chuckled, looking at the ceiling. "It's hard to share a bed for me too," You admitted. "I uhm... I usually was forced to share. So..." your voice trailed off. "I can move-" "No! no I didn't mean it like that. I just.." You sighed. "I'm not used to being in a bed with someone I don't hate." you said.

Kaz put his hand over yours. "I hope you don't hate me." He said softly. You gave the sweetest smile that melted Kaz's heart. "I could never hate you." You said. "If only you knew" he thought to himself. "The blood on my hands, the horrible things I've done would make you hate me"

You held his hand, looking at him. You could see Kaz's mind wandering, something you had seen occasionally. Despite the many beliefs that people had over him, Kaz was human just like anyone else. He had fears, he had insecurities. Yes, he was a cocky asshole at times but he was like that to survive. You knew inside Kaz had to be scared. Because truth be told, you were too.

You fell asleep just like that. Your hand in his. When you woke up, you heard frantic knocking. Kaz, who clearly wasn't a morning person grumbled as he got dressed and went downstairs. You tiptoed down the stairs to hear the conversation.

"What Jesper?" He asked with a flat tone. "It's Y/n, she's missing!" He said frantically. You cracked a small grin. "She-" "I went to her house to check on her because we all heard the sirens last night and she wasn't there! Kaz do you think she's okay!?" Jesper asked. "She's-" "I fed Lev, Inej is out looking-" "Jesper, she is here." Kaz said.

Jesper blinked. "What do you mean she's here?" Jesper asked. "She slept over last night." Kaz sighed. Jesper peaked behind Kaz to see the couches and saw nothing. "It doesn't look like anyone slept here." Jesper said. "She's upstairs, she's fine." Kaz sighed.

Jesper let out a sigh. "Is this your way of saying you two are finally together?" Jesper asked. Kaz said nothing, just simply closed the door in his face. Rather than knock, Jesper did that annoying thing that always worked to get Kaz to open a door. He took his index finger and repeatedly tapped loudly.

"tap tap tap"

Kaz walked towards the stairs and you slowly rose.

"tap tap tap"

Kaz stopped, sighing loudly as he marched back to the door. He opened it and Jesper had what could only be described as a "shit eating grin" on his face.

"I will take your revolvers and shoot you with them." Kaz spat. "So you two are together then? Finally! It's about time one of you said something! Inej owes me five kruge." Jesper said proudly. "We are not together Jesper, and if you wish to remain alive, you will leave." Kaz said. Then it hit him. "Wait you two have a bet going over this!?" "You know it is incredibly early, I should go. Bye boss!" Jesper said running off.

"He knows how to leave people annoyed." You said, Kaz sighing. He ran a hand over his face before looking at you." Would you like breakfast?" He asked, closing the door. You rose a brow. "Sure. Where are we going?" you asked. "I have eggs I need to use." he said, walking into his kitchen.

He looked up to see you gaping. "What?" He asked. "You're going to cook?" You asked. "Why is this a shock?" He asked, grabbing a pan. "I don't know- I just assumed you couldn't cook- I mean I can't, which in hindsight is stupid but--" "Wait." Kaz held up his hand to stop you. "You can't cook?" He asked. "No. I have a tendency to burn... Everything." You admitted. "Well, I will teach you to not do that." He said, motioning for you to stand by him. You didn't move. "What?" He asked. "Are you sure you? You seem to like your home-"

He walked over, pushing you over to the kitchen table and stood next to you. You watched him carefully as he cracked an egg. He handed you one. "You try." he said.

You hesitated but tried, some of the shell falling in. "Damn." you sighed. "Here, let me show you." He said taking another egg. He used the edge of the table to crack the egg, using his thumbs to pry it open carefully. He handed you another egg. "We're going to waste a lot of eggs." you said. "It was this or throw them at Jesper while he's not looking. Kaz teased. You chuckled. "And here I thought you liked Jesper." You said.

"Oh I do. I consider him a friend. When, y'know he's not constantly pestering me about my love life." Kaz said. You cracked the egg just as Kaz did. "See, I knew you'd get it." He said. You smiled at him as he grabbed a small jug of milk. "Milk?" you asked confused. "Makes them fluffier." he said. You grinned. "You cook often, don't you?" You asked. "Sometimes." He shrugged.

You watched him add salt and pepper mixing the eggs in a bowl. He walked to his stove, motioning for you to stand in front of it. "Kaz, are you sure you want me near fire--" "I will be right here." He said. You sighed and walked over. "Now, we're making them scrambled." He said handing you a spatula. "I will burn your house down." you warned. "Y/n." "Fine! You've been warned. Goodbye kitchen, you were pretty to look at!" you said, taking the spatula dramatically.

Kaz smiled as you watched the eggs. "What am I supposed to be doing?" You asked. "You see how it's raised right there?" he asked, pointing at an egg with a fork. "Yeah?" You asked. "The goal is for all of them to look like that." he said. "Well, I get the goal but how to do I accomplish the goal?" you asked, not removing your eyes from the pan. He chuckled, watching you stare at the pan.

"You could ease up-" "If I do I start a fire." You said. He chuckled again but picked up your hand gently. Your heart started pounding as he guided you through the process. Not a word he was saying went to you, the only thing you could hear was his breath on your ear. What you didn't realize was the angle that he was holding your hand allowed him access to feel your pulse. He rose a brow, noticing the red on your ears that typically came from you being flustered.

He said nothing though, continuing to speak. You finally tuned back in as he flipped off the stove. "And you just made eggs." He said. "I did?" You asked. He grinned at your confusion, pointing to the pan. "Holy crap I did! And your house is intact!" You said relieved. "Who was the last person to taught you how to cook?" He asked with a small chuckle. "Jesper." "That explains so much."

The two of you ate, you looking out the window. It was clear something was on your mind. "Is something wrong?" Kaz asked. "Were you finishing that list last night?" You asked. He put down his fork, looking at you. Kaz had a talent for avoiding the truth. With you though, it was almost impossible. "Yes." He admitted. You looked at him with an unreadable expression. "Did you finish it?" You asked. "Almost." He nodded.

There was a silence that seemed excruciating to him. He knew you hated when he did dangerous things alone. You knew the odds were built against the Dregs. Each time you walked out your door, there was a chance you weren't coming home. For Kaz, those odds doubled. His name was infamous to most of Ketterdam. You worried about him everytime you weren't there. "Just... stay safe. Please." You said. He nodded. You sighed. "I should go, Lev needs his walk." You said. He nodded. "If you need me-" "I'll find you." You said, that soft smile gracing your lips again.

You went home, leaving Kaz alone. Kaz had one more name on that list and he planned on crossing it off tonight. He got dressed, grabbing his cane and left.

Your day was slow. No job meant nothing to do. Lev felt boredom, that much was clear as he moped on the stairs. You would have taken him for a walk but the rain didn't seem to let up. You also hated that wet dog smell. So you settled for a book, reading quietly for a while before that even lost its entertaining effect.

You threw on a coat, walking to the club. Drenched didn't begin to describe your appearance as you came in. "How's our little Y/n?" Jesper asked. "Call me that again and that drink goes on your head." You said, sitting at the bar. "You're in a lovely mood." Jesper said. "Well, I'm ready to do a job but it's like Kaz won't assign me anything since..." You sighed. "Have you talked to him about it?" He asked. "No." You muttered. "Then how will it get fixed?" Jesper asked.

Inej walked in, sitting next to you. "Seen Kaz?" She asked. "Haven't seen him since this morning. Why, is he not home?" You asked. "He's not." She said. You rose a brow. "Jesper do you know where he is?" You asked. "...no." Jesper said with a frown. This was never a good sign. When Kaz went somewhere, at least one of you knew where he was going. Then it hit you. You knew exactly where the foolish bastard went and it was on that damn list.

The door to the club opened, Kaz walking in with blood dripping down his forehead. You stood up so quickly that the stool nearly toppled over as you rushed over. "Oh Kaz- what did you do?" You asked, looking at his wound. "You should see the other guy." He said, Jesper walking over. "Why didn't you bring one of us?" Jesper asked. "It was a one man job." He said. His speech seemed slurred. "Kaz, are you concussed?" You asked. "Nooooo! Just a little more wobbly than usual!" He said. Inej and Jesper swapped a look. "Kaz, you need help." Inej said. "Oh my gooooddd I'm fine!" He said. "Kaz, come on." You said. "Where are we going?" He asked. "To get you medical attention." You said. "Why?" He asked. "You're concussed." You said. "No I'm not" he lied.

"Oh my god he's like a giant baby" Jesper said with a chuckle. "Kaz, please just come with me." You said softly. Kaz looked at you. "Fineee. Only because it was you-" he poked your cheek making Inej's jaw drop "that asked." He said. You let out a small snort. "Come on, you big goofball." You said, carefully walking him out.

To say walking a concussed man down a cobblestone street was a challenge would be a large understatement. Kaz for some reason unbeknownst to you had his arm around you, walking like a drunk. "Kaz, are you alright?" You asked. "I am now that you're here" he said. You rolled your eyes, walking into a small (and probably illegal) clinic. "My friend needs help." You said. "What's wrong with him?" A woman asked. "I got hit in me noggin!" He said. "He's- Kaz stay over here- he's concussed." You answered, herding him back over to you after he tried touching something on the wall.

"Nikolai! You've got a patient!" The woman yelled. A man walked out. She explained the situation to him, you trying to ignore Kaz playing with your hair as they talked. "It's so soft." He would say. You looked at the doctor. "What can I do?" You asked. "Come with me, both of you." He said. You walked with Kaz who was now clinging to your side like a child. "Don't let him take off my gloves." He said. "He won't Kaz, you're just hurt is all." You assured softly.

You followed the doctor into a room. "Let me see your head." He said. Kaz held your hand as the doctor examined the gash. He hovered his hand over the wound, the cut seeming to fix himself. Kaz looked at him confused. "Now his head is mending itself. It'll probably be fixed by the morning. In the mean time, he needs to take this-" he handed you a pill "to recover. He's going to out of it for about thirty minutes and then he should fall asleep. Take it when you get home." He said. "Thank you doc." You said softly. "My head feels weirrrrrdd." Kaz said.

You took him back to his place, unlocking the door. "Alright Kaz, come on just a little further." You said, closing and locking the door behind him. He followed you to his room. "You're so good to me, it's strange." He said following you. You sat him on the bed. "Why is that strange?" You asked. "Most people hate me... if you knew the things I've done you'd hate me too." He muttered. You looked at him. "I could never hate the man that freed me." You said softly. He looked at you as you cleared your throat, kneeling to his feet.

"You're so beautiful." He said. "You're concussed Kaz." You said, removing a shoe. "No I'm seri...seri... fuck how do you say that word?" "Serious?" You asked. "Right. That one. I'm sherious." He said. You removed his other shoe. "Do you want to keep the gloves on?" You asked. "You can take them off." He said. You pulled his hands forward, taking one. His other hand drifted to your cheek. "I don't think you know how much I love you." He said. You looked up. "What?"

"You mean the world to me. Nah, the world can bite my ass. You mean the stars to me." He said. You tried to ignore him as you removed a glove. "I want to tell you that all the time but I'm scared" he said. "Of what?" You found yourself asking. "Of you leaving me." He said. He had probably never been this vulnerable with anyone. You took off the other glove, looking at his eyes. They seemed so fixated on you. You cleared your throat, pulling out the medicine. "Here, take this." You said softly. He took it, probably because you were the one that asked him.

"Lay down with me?" He asked. "Okay." You said softly. You laid down on the other side. "Closer." He said. You moved slightly. "Closer." He said again. You moved again. "Closer-" "Kaz if I move again I'm going to be against you." You said. "What if I wanna hold you? Ever think of that?" He asked. You looked at him surprised. "Kaz-" "Pleeeasssee?" He asked. You slowly moved closer snd he pulled you into his arms. Your heart was pounding in your ears. "This is how I wanna be all the time!" He said happily. He looked down at you. "I can feel your heartbeat. Are you dying?" He asked. "No I'm okay Kaz." You said softly. He nodded. "Are you comfy?" He asked. Even concussed he cared about your boundaries.

"Yes Kaz, I'm comfortable." You said with a small smile. "I like it when you smile. It's so pretty." He said. Your smile grew. "Aw, see that. That's amazing right there." He said. You looked up at him. "I love you so much." He said, burying his face in your neck. You closed your eyes. "I love you too Kaz." You said softly. "I'm tired." He muttered. "Then go to sleep." You said softly. "Promise you won't leave?" He asked. "I promise."

When Kaz woke up, he was confused by what was so warm. He opened his eyes, them adjusting to the morning light before he saw you, sound asleep in his arms. He blinked a few times to make sure he was seeing it right, which he was. You shifted before opening your eyes.

Your eyes widened and you jolted back, taking Kaz with you as you fell off the bed. "Morning to you too?" Kaz said confused. "Oh my god- I am so sorry Kaz! Are you alright? Well I'm on top of you of course you're not- Oh my god I need to get up" you rambled before standing up. "What happened last night?" He asked.

"You" You helped him up. "Had a concussion." You said. He blinked, hazy memories setting in. "Oh." He said. "You and I quote 'were hit on me noggin'. So." You quoted. "Oh. I wasn't a pain to deal with, was I?" He asked. "Well you-" wait. He didn't remember. "No, you just complimented me a bit." You lied. Kaz could tell you were withholding something. "How's your head?" You asked. "Better." He nodded. "Good. So now I can tell you how absolutely STUPID IT WAS TO GO ALONE!" You said. Kaz jumped. "Even if you wanted to protect me, you should've taken Inej or Jesper or hell borrow my dog! Don't go alone again!" You said.

"Y/n I'm fine--" "Coming back concussed does not constitute as fine!" You huffed. "The job is done, what is the big deal!?" Kaz asked, getting up. "You could have died Kaz. We could've lost you- I could have lost you!" You said. "Y/n I'm fine, I'm alive, I'm okay!" He said. "I can't lose you Kaz!" You finally said.

Memories of the night flooded back. "...Oh." he realized. "I care about you too much-" "You love me." He realized. You looked at him shocked. "I-I" "and I told you that I loved you." He said. You looked at the wall, tears of frustration building in your eyes. "Y/n... I understand that I was reckless and I'm sorry. I know you love me too much to see me hurt." He said. You swallowed the lump in your throat. "But I love you too." He said, stepping towards you. You stepped back with your eyes wide. "I-I can't Kaz." You said. He looked broken down.

"If you knew the things that I've done-" "I love you regardless Y/n." He halted. You looked scared. "But what if I'm too much- what if-" he held your hands. "You could never be too much for me Y/n." He assured. Tears flooded your vision. "Why can't I say it?" You asked. He chuckled. "You don't need to." He said softly. "I-I want to" you said. "Kaz I-" you hesitated, though you didn't know why. "I-I" you could feel his breath as his lips hovered over "I love you" you said softly.

He kissed you, you melting in his arms as he did. He had never felt such intense happiness before. You pulled away looking at him. "Is something wrong?" He asked softly. "No, I just... I want to remember this." You said. He smiled kissing you again.

The next day, you sat next to Inej in the club, Jesper drinking beside her. "So was taking care of Kaz difficult?" Inej asked. "No, though he did stare at a painting for a bit." You said with a shrug. "He was out of it when he was here." Jesper said. "Oh it was even worse at the doctor's office. He told them he 'got hit in his noggin'." You said making Jesper laugh. "Oh I would've paid to have seen that.

Kaz sat next to you and you smiled. "Hi." You greeted. "Hello." He said with that same smile. Inej and Jesper both looked at you. "Alright, so you two definitely fucked." Jesper said. You choked on your drink. "By the saints Jesper!" You coughed. "Nah, something is going on here. You two have got that look." Jesper said. "Jesper, were you perhaps dropped on your head as a child?" Kaz asked. "No! At least not that I'm aware- forget that! I'm telling you, come clean now and it'll be easier later." He said. "We literally have no clue what you're talking about." Kaz said. "No, it's other wise you two did something or I'm drunk!" He said. "Jesper you've had six drinks. You're drunk." You said. "Nooo- well maybe... shit maybe I am drunk." He said making you laugh. "Mm. I have a job I need to discuss with you." Kaz said. "Kay." You said, following him.

Kaz closed the door to his office behind him. "So did you actually have a job or did you just want to see me?" You asked. "Hm. Which would you like better?" He asked, pulling you close. You smiled, kissing him. He smiled against your lips before stopping. "Hello Inej." He said, looking past you. "So Jesper was right" Inej said making you jump. Kaz kept his hand by your waist. "Mhm. Though we're not letting him know that, we'd never hear the end of it." Kaz said. "Oh I agree. Though I never thought you two would sort your shit out long enough to actually be together." Inej shrugged. "Rude." You said. "Well I'll leave you two to do... whatever it is you were doing. Just... try not to leave the office too wrecked or else Jesper will actually figure it out, regardless of alcohol consumption. "Inej said, walking out.

You let out a small laugh and Kaz wrapped his hands around your waist with a smile. "Do me a favor?" He asked. "Anything." You said softly. "Lock the door"

#kaz x you #kaz x y/n #kaz x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #six of crows

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petertingle-yipyip · 27 days

Text

STRANGER (iii) - KAZ BREKKER

tags: @beekeepingageissome @shadowzena43 @nikfigueiredo @mp-littlebit @starmansirius @hadesnumber1daughter // previously // next

Pairing: Kaz x Davina Rollins (enemies to lovers)

Word Count: 6,655

Summary: Davina’s reappearance has Kaz reconsidering just about everything. Meanwhile, Davina seems to be building a strong foundation for her snakes.

“I’m sure we’ll meet again soon, Brekker.” She nodded.

She blended into the crowd seamlessly and Kaz had lost the silhouette of her hood quickly. He hadn’t moved from his spot and the bustling crowd seemed to move around him, the way water rushed around rocks. Too many thoughts were swimming in his head.

Davina Rollins had left her father. There was a strange relief in that confirmation. He’d heard rumors that the beloved daughter had disappeared years ago, but he hadn’t cared to look into it. Davina had always been kind to him and Jordie, but he had no expectations of her turning on her father.

The hooded girl left more questions than answers. Who was she? What was she to Davina? How much did she really know?

Then, as he thought of them both, he realized something. He knew her. Maybe not in any real sense given that he couldn’t think of what her name could be, but he had met her before. Maybe it was years ago, maybe it was just in passing, but damn it all he should know who she was.

As he picked up walking again, he thought of Davina. A certain fondness settled in his chest and he tried to banish it. He hadn’t thought of her often, but when he did, it was always a pain. He remembered an easier time, when he was just a boy. When he had his brother. Davina was someone he thought was gone forever, like Jordie, but now she was somewhere near.

Despite that, he couldn’t imagine what Davina would look like now. It had been years since he’d seen her, and even remembering her as he knew her was harder lately. When he laid to sleep and let his mind wander, inevitably to those memories, her face started to blur. Her voice was muffled. He couldn’t fully remember the way she said his name, the way she laughed. He cursed himself for forgetting that.

He needed to find the girl in the hood again. She held the answers he wanted and he’d do what he needed to get them.

It took a few days but the girl resurfaced. She had visited Nina Zenik, left some sort of token to be delivered, so he asked Inej to retrieve it. The Wraith returned with a handful of papers.

“Drawings?” He flipped through the pages. “She asked Nina to get drawings to me?” It would’ve been a lie if he had said he wasn’t a bit offended.

“I didn’t tell Nina, but they’re rather well-done.” Inej said honestly. “She must be around more than we realize.”

She was right. All the images were perfect. He lingered on the page that had him and his brother. Jordie was the one face he’d never forget, even when he wanted to. Even when the memory changed from his smiling, warm older brother to the cold, bloated, water-logged corpse that brought him back from death.

Kaz dropped the papers on his desk with a sigh.

“Can you find her?” He asked, but he knew the answer.

“The hooded one or the Rollins girl?”

“The Hood may be an interesting investment. The Rollins girl can wait.”

He decided to omit Davina’s name for now. That was one of his many secrets, a tidbit of information that he could keep to himself for a little while longer. There was sentiment there, he knew, but he could ignore it. Call it a tactical advantage. Or simply a spin of Maker’s Wheel. A gamble.

He didn’t need to look to know Inej was gone. He both cursed and thanked her silence, footsteps light as feathers. When he was alone again, he lifted the drawings again and found himself staring at a penciled image of himself, from years ago. A boy lost to the waters. Dead and drowned, resting beside his brother, the Bastard of the Barrel returned to take his place. He had known he hadn’t fully let go of his brother. Part of him knew he never would while the other wished it so.

But looking at that drawing, he was that boy again. Playing with a girl with the biggest eyes he’d ever seen, a smile that was dazzling like sunlight, a voice that was always warm and welcoming. A girl that had made him laugh, played games with him, made up a ridiculous nickname for him.

“I like calling you Kazzle. You can call me Davi, if you’d like. My parents do.”

“I like Vina better.”

“Hmm.” She thought on it and then smiled. “So do I.”

“Damn you, Davina.” He cursed to himself and tossed the paper aside again.

He ran a covered hand over his face, hoping to rid himself of some of the thoughts. It didn’t work.

No, of course it didn’t. Davina had always had those hooks in him. No matter how he shoved the thoughts away, ignored the little things that could remind him of her. She was there, like a ghost, watching but never speaking.

Despite it all, he knew it all would be for nothing. Davina was still a Rollins. She was still Pekka Rollins’ daughter. And if he had his way, to break down everything the man had brick by brick, he just might be able to use Davina to do it. And if he had to, he’d do just that.

So Kaz cast the treacherous, childish adoration aside. He silenced the voice in his head that was calling her name, froze the warmth in his chest at the idea that she still thought of him, ignored the yearn to see her, find her himself and find out if he could be brave enough to confess anything to her. Instead, Dirtyhands would come to see the hard work done.

That was who spoke to the Hood when they brought her to the Slat.

He sat in front of her for a bit while she was unconscious, and she seemed to take an eternity to wake up. In the time between finding her in the alley and setting her up in the chair, Inej gave him what was allegedly a ring from Davina’s childhood. He could only vaguely remember the accessory so he simply put it on a chain and tucked it under his collar. He had stepped to the side and even considered calling for Nina Zenik when she finally came to.

The Hood infuriated him almost instantly. Her tongue was shaped by spite and anger, but if someone were to pay enough attention - the way Kaz did - they’d see she was hiding something. Most bravado was a facade for something, and the Hood was no exception.

Then her taunts began. She mentioned the gloves, as most do. That meant nothing to him. He had heard all the tales and even fabricated some of his own, but the name struck him like a blow.

Kaz Rietveld.

She spat his true name at him as if a threat, and Kaz Brekker was not someone to threaten. He was going to let it go, say something else that would make her cower, but she then mentioned his brother.

His movement was a reaction, a yank of the crow’s beak across her face. Their back and forth continued, nothing Kaz hadn’t expected, until something peculiar caught his ear.

“Your snakes?”

The panic was obvious in those wide eyes, though she covered it quickly. He knew there was something to that slip-up in her persona, the alleged right hand to Davina Rollins, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint it. Yet.

Even in that fleeting moment, her wide eyes seemed familiar to him. He started to wonder…

Another act of arrogance, another movement of the cane. Another dance of words and threats.

“What makes you think you haven’t led us to her already?” Kaz asked. His tone was simple, as if asking about stock prices or an old friend, but the threat was clear.

Her brows furrowed in thought as she dropped her gaze to the floor. She was retracing her steps over the past few days, wondering when she had lost the illusion and exposed everything.

He knew she hadn’t. Inej had followed her for almost a week until the Wraith grew annoyed at the Hood’s purposeful dilly-dallying and returned to the Slat. Yet the possibility was still enough to throw her off balance and Kaz reveled in her desperate attempt to confirm with herself that she hadn’t betrayed her gang.

Again, he found familiarity in the Hood when she spoke again. In that determination to protect and defend what was hers, to challenge those who dared to take it. He knew he had seen it in Davina, when they would play and one of other neighborhood children tried to take her toys or change the rules of their game.

Then the Hood broke free and kicked him in the head before fleeing.

It was months before he crossed paths with the Hood again. In that time, Nina had sent word that she was being visited by the Hood often. Jesper swore he saw a hooded figure in the shadows. Even Wylan was jumpier than usual.

Inej, as always, was the picture of calm. Stillness, simply squaring her shoulders as a dare to the Hood and all of Davina’s snakes. Kaz had never said it aloud, but he was thankful for her quiet presence.

He had gathered a name in that time as well, Melli Dimitrov. She was seen flashing the snake tattoo and a few well timed passings told Kaz that she was highly favored by Davina. It was a gamble, but when Kaz saw the Hood again, he threw the name out.

She denied it, of course. Kaz had expected that much. He wasn’t fully convinced Melli was the Hood, but he knew dangling that knowledge was a powerful taunt. It showed the Hood and Davina that she was not as hidden as she believed. That her snakes weren’t as careful as she needed them to be if she wanted to keep herself hidden.

Then the Hood threw herself into the canals.

Good, let her drown.

The next day, a loudmouth in the Emerald Palace let it slip that Davina would be visiting her father that night. It took a whirlwind of moves, but Kaz gathered Wylan and Jesper to stage the job while Inej kept their path clear.

He was going to get to Davina.

He caught her running from the Emerald Palace, blood dripping off her arm and a mask hiding the bottom half of her face. He snatched her by her wrist and pulled her out of sight. But when he looked at her, truly took her in and studied her, she was the little girl he knew.

After he learned the truth of Jakob Hertzoon, he believed the rest of the family were fake as well. He had thought the girl he knew as Davina was an actress, maybe intended to protect the real Rollins daughter. But with her standing there in front of him, knowing what he knew, he couldn’t deny it. Part of him was glad that there was some truth to those memories.

Her eyes were still the biggest he’d ever seen, though there was a sharpness in her stare now. A tiredness that weighed on her brows. Her cheeks weren’t the round shape he pictured anymore, matured with her time away. He could see the head of the snake peeking out of the open buttons above her dark vest.

She was Davina but also, he came to realize, the Hood.

How he didn’t realize before given those damn moon eyes he didn’t know and he would’ve cursed himself for it had that prickly feeling of dread not settled in his stomach. Well, if Davina hadn’t hated him before, she very likely did now.

“Hello, Davina.” Once he said her name, that boyish part of him that was kicking its way to the forefront was wishing he hadn’t. Her name was his secret and now it was said aloud, but at least they were alone. And he still had her nickname.

Vina. She’s Vina to you and she’s alive. She’s right here.

“Hello, Kaz.” She said in relief and he felt his heart beat a little faster. He knew she was smiling under the mask and the thought to take it off her crossed his mind. He wanted her to say his name like that again and again. Relieved. Grateful.

He would want to hear her say his name in any tone, he decided. Anger, disappointment, cheerfulness, resentment, regret, relief. He wanted the questioning sound of worry for when his luck would run out before he could more. He wanted her to say his name with a laugh, scold his name for a comment too cruel or an action too underhanded. He wanted all of it from her.

He almost said as much until he caught sight of her bloodied shoulder again.

He snapped back to focus. Back to the job at hand.

But of course, Davina saw through it. She threw Jesper at Kaz and ran off.

“I like her.” Jesper coughed with a smile once Davina had disappeared.

“You like women that punch you in the throat?” Kaz shoved his friend off and got to his feet.

“I like the women that don’t avert their eyes from the Bastard of the Barrel.” He snorted. “She’s not afraid of you, Kaz. That’s gotta be worth something..”

“She will be.” Because fear was better than whatever else was stirring in his treacherous heart.

He considered chasing her but he knew she was long gone. He huffed a sigh and motioned for Jesper to follow back to the Slat. He knew Inej was watching from above. He saw her hesitate to follow, but after a moment she was moving with them from the high ground.

Jesper talked the entire way back. About how Pekka Rollins could shoot his daughter, what Davina could’ve said to piss her father off, whether or not Davina was on her father’s side, what to do next time they saw her. He seemed rather giddy for that one.

Kaz thought of the ring sitting at the end of the chain around his neck. He kept it there since Inej had delivered it to him. It was an unsaid promise that he’d see her again. As the Hood, she had made threats to return for it. The thought nearly made him smile. He pictured the way she’d walk up to him, maybe demand he hand it over. Maybe she’d try to hit him, pull her blade on him, aim a gun at him. He knew he’d give it back when she came for it, but he wouldn’t just hand it over. She had given it to him as a gift after all.

When they got back to the Slat, Inej met Kaz in his office.

“You let her go.” She pointed out. He noted no anger in her voice, just interest.

“I did.” He confirmed. How was he to deny it?

“Why?”

He set his cane aside and pulled his gloves. One was stained with Davina’s blood. “Do you think Davina and her snakes could be useful to us?”

“Do you?”

He raised a brow and gestured expectantly for her to speak.

Reluctantly, she did. “Davina is still a Rollins. We cannot prove she is truly separated from her father just yet. She bought the gambling den he owned.”

“Word is she cut him out.” Kaz countered. “Her lieutenant was quite excited about that bit. And, well, he did shoot her.”

“Taking one piece of Rollins’ holdings isn’t enough.”

Brick by brick. That was how he had planned to take down Pekka Rollins. And that was exactly what Davina had done. One brick.

“No, but it’s a start.”

“What do you know about her?” Inej stepped closer, a new fire sparking her eyes. “Why does it matter if they’re useful? I don’t think she’d truly ally her snakes with anyone.”

He wanted to tell Inej. He wanted to tell her that Davina was the first friend he had in the Barrel. That she and him had something good, something not even her father could corrupt. He wanted to say that Davina haunted him, day in and day out. She was the little voice in his head that kept hold of his humanity and shoving it to the forefront when he needed it. But he didn’t.

How could he?

Snakes and Crows never did get along.

“We have the advantage over Davina.” He said instead. “Our numbers are better but I’d argue her coffers are better padded. And her snakes may not be helpless, though I doubt they have real strength yet.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“I’d like you to deliver a message to Davina.”

Her brows raised in question.

“If she wants to keep that gambling den, she’ll be paying a tax to the Dregs.”

“You think putting her under Haskell’s thumb a bit will pacify her?”

“No. Something tells me her father’s downfall would be the only thing for that.” In that, he understood her.

“Then why?”

He gave a small shrug. “Maybe it’ll humble her. It was you who said her pride would be the Hood’s downfall, didn’t you? It’s the same for Davina.”

“How are you so certain, Kaz?”

“She’s yet to prove me wrong.” Briefly, he thought of that night near the canals.

“Is it even midnight?” She practically laughed, just before the bells. “Oh Saints.”

“Let that be a lesson. I’m almost never wrong.”

He shoved the thought away and focused back on Inej. “Tomorrow night, I ask you to deliver a message from the Dregs to meet. We’ll use the square. I doubt after whatever happened in the Emerald Palace she’d be willing to come to us, and I’ll be damned to go to her. Her Hood is too crafty to allow any advantage.”

He thought of how she broke free the night he had her. How she dove into the canals. How she’d even escaped the Wraith.

“She’d never let us in her snakes’ den.” Inej shook her head. “You’ll have to tell Per Haskell.”

“Yes, I’ll deal with the old man.” He waved a hand.

“Could she get to Stadwatch?”

“Even if she could, she won’t. She can’t make that kind of show of force whether she wants to or not.”

“The Hood spoke as if Davina knew you.” Inej pointed out. “Tell me how you know her.”

“I’m not sure I do.” He said lowly, as if admitting those words would hurt him. And maybe they did. Maybe he needed that hurt to stop the infernal swooning at the thought of her. “And I’m not so sure she knows me at all.”

“Then at least tell me you have a plan.”

“My dearest Inej.” He offered her a near smile. “I always have a plan. We won’t be bested by Davina Rollins or her snakes.”

Meanwhile, you were cursing every decision you had made since you were a child.

You had made it to the safe house and managed to get the bullet out. You cleaned and dressed the wound as best you could before burning the blood soaked gloves. You ate some of the hidden rations and rested, a pitiful and restless night of what barely passed as sleep. The next morning, you dressed in some of the spare clothes.

You kept your pants and wore your vest underneath. You had a rough, worker’s shirt that was two sizes too big but it hid your protection so you didn’t mind. You had a long scarf that you draped over your head and pulled over your mouth.

It made you wish you had stashed Komedie Brute costumes as well. You shrugged your good shoulder, just another thing to add to the list.

You managed to make it to your Healer.

“At least you had the good sense to clean it.” She chastised with her accented Kerch, a light knock to the back of your head before her hands went to work.

“Yes, I seem to have all the good sense the Saints gave a rock.” You rolled your eyes, gripping the shawl in your other hand tightly. You thought your fingers would tear through the fabric.

“You should find a Corporalnik to add to your clutch.” She said, an off handed comment that felt more loaded than it should.

“Are you not my ally?”

“And what happens when you can’t make it across East Stave to find me? You bleed out in some alley and your body is added to the Barge. No, girl, you need someone closer to home.”

“There’s someone you’d like me to take in.” You understood. “Are you certain I could trust them?”

“He’s a good boy.” She promised. “He ran from the Little Palace when I did. I don’t want to send him away but he needs his own funds. I can only provide so much for him.”

“I see… He’s a Healer you said?”

“A gifted one. An average Tailor.”

“What of a Heartrender?”

“Poorly, but he could learn if you need him to.” She hesitantly admitted.

“Would he want to?”

“Using an untrained Heartrender may kill someone you didn’t intend to.”

“Yes, well, at this point I may need to.” You mumbled then winced as the wound burned sharply through your arm. “Hopefully he’s gentler than you.”

“Do you want quick or gentle?” She snapped, pinching your underarm.

You hissed slightly but said nothing. When it was done, you felt only soreness. You pulled your usual payment from your boot but she pushed your hand away.

“Take in my boy.” She said and you saw it in her eyes. A mother’s love, aching to protect her child. It made your chest tight.

“Take the money.” You gently insisted. “I’ll meet him. I may even know someone who can help.”

Maybe befriending Nina Zenik would have an advantage.

“Thank you, Snake.” She nodded, accepting your payment.

“Davina.”

“Myranda.” She nodded once again.

“I’ll come back at ten bells tonight. What’s his name?” You drew your cover over your head.

“Kolya.” She gave you a small smile. “But he likes Kol.”

With that, you were gone. You went back to the snakes and some fussed about your return. Some were quick to assume you were dead, but given your choice of interactions, you didn’t blame them. You simply waved them off, promised you were okay, asked one of them to bring you a proper meal, and went to your office.

Melli was the one to bring it to you and you were thankful for that. She made idle conversation about what you missed. The paperwork was submitted and approved, so you were now the official owner. All that was left would be to name it.

“We could call it something clever but snake related.” She offered. “Like the Viper Pit.”

You made a face.

“Serpent’s Den? Snake Nest?”

“Play with the ‘s’.” You suggested. “Like a snake’s hiss.”

“Oh!” She clapped. “Something like Sss…”

“Snakes are symbols of things like healing, protection, intuition. You get any ideas from that?”

“Hmm. Sixth Sense?”

“And one of the ‘s’ can be a money symbol.”

“Yes! See, this is why we need you.”

You smiled slightly.

“How do you feel?” She asked gently.

“Physically, I feel good. Mentally, I’m exhausted, Mel. Brekker was going to snatch me off the streets. My father shot me. The only good thing that has come from this is that I’ve potentially found a Corporalnik for us.”

“A Heartrender?” Her eyes were wide.

“A Healer.” You corrected. “But he could learn.”

“Where’d you find him?”

“His mother has done a few healing sessions for me, says she wants him to have his own money and that way I have someone ‘closer to home’.”

“What’s his name?”

“You can come with me to meet with him tonight and bring him here. Tomorrow, I’m going to try taking him to Nina Zenik.”

“The Dregs’ Heartrender.”

“I’ve been friendly with her and turns out, she was training with the Second Army for Ravka till she got caught up in a Drüskelle raid.”

“And now she’s in Ketterdam? I thought no one escapes the Fjerdan witch hunters.”

You shrugged. “I didn’t ask, but she’ll teach him.”

“And if she just runs off to Dirtyhands and tells him you’ve recruited a Corporalnik?”

“The only thing left for Kaz to do is to actually kill me.” You shook your head.

“Or me.” She mumbled, picking at a loose thread at her cuff.

“What?”

“You said it yourself. He thinks I’m the Hood.” Her eyes wouldn’t leave her sleeve. “What if he kills me thinking it’s her?”

Your chest tightened at the thought. Imagining Melli at Kaz’s mercy, the cruel things he could do just because he thought she was the Hood. But when you thought of the alley, the way he’d looked at you like he saw through you… And then there was the fleeting way he looked at you like you just hung the moon.

“Melli, you have my word.” You promised. “I’ll slice off each and every one of his cursed fingers if he so much as touches you. Okay?”

She let out a shaky breath and when she looked at you, you saw the tears. You felt a pang of guilt in your chest. Was that all you could give her? A true, warranted fear of Kaz ‘Dirtyhands’ Brekker and a flimsy promise of her safety. Her watery eyes served as a reminder that you had a responsibility to her and every person bearing the mark of your snakes. You had to keep them safe. Whatever war you wanted to wage against your father was yours. The want to ally with Kaz was also yours. They wouldn’t pay for your mistakes or your overzealous attempts at either.

You came around your desk and wrapped your arms around your lieutenant. She held onto you tightly, her fingers digging in as if you’d disappear if she let go. You felt her shuddering breaths shake her shoulders, heard her muffled cries against your shoulder. It all just made your promise more firm.

You refused to allow your snakes to suffer for you.

Later that night, you dawned your hood to meet with Kolya. Melli opted to stay behind and you didn’t press, especially when you noticed her hands still shaking. You offered whatever comfort you could before leaving.

He was already waiting when you got to the familiar building, a bag on his shoulders and a small trunk in his hands. He raised his free hand when he saw your figure and you felt the small increase of your pulse.

“Careful, Kolya.” You said, putting your hands up in surrender. “Your mother says that’s dangerous.”

“Da-“ He began but you shushed him quickly, your pulse settling to its usual pace. “The snake?”

You drew your hood back enough for him to see your face. He stared at you with wide eyes and you took a moment to take him in. Brown curls he had styled back, though one stubborn strand fell out on either side of his part. Dark brown eyes that reflected the moonlight. A tall, lean frame with broad shoulders. He was your age, maybe a year older.

That was a boy you could teach to fight. The idea gave you some hope.

“Come with me.” You said finally, turning to leave. He was quick to get to your side. “Tomorrow, you’ll meet with a potential teacher.”

“My mother told me you lead a small gang.” He said, less of an accent than his mother. You wondered if he had lost it or if he just had a better gift for language. “That you tend to get yourself hurt.”

“Both are true.”

“She also said you wish me a Heartrender.”

“A Healer is more than welcome. What do you wish for yourself?” You glanced at him, noting the sharp angle of his jaw. The lines around his mouth as he frowned.

“Somewhere I can do good.” He said finally, determination in his voice. “My mother told me of the Darkling, how he wanted to use Grisha to change Ravka so he could rule. I don’t want that.”

“Joining me means you’ll still fight, Kolya.” You admitted. “I intend to dismantle an empire and make amends with a boogeyman. I don’t intend to take over Kerch or Ketterdam. I don’t even want the Barrel, just to see the alleged King of the Barrel fall.”

“Are you not the princess, then?” He looked over at you carefully, as if worried he said the wrong thing.

“No.” You shook your head. “I was never intended for his throne.”

“So you’ll tear it down?”

“Brick by brick if I have to, but know that I will never ask any of my snakes to do something I wouldn’t be willing to do myself.”

You felt his hand take yours and you stiffened, but your steps didn’t falter.

“I can’t offer much, yet.” You confessed. “A warm bed, hot meals, safety while you sleep, and a means of your own money. It won’t be easy, nor will the money be substantial for now, but I intend to reward those that deserve it.”

“You needn’t convince me.” He said with a small chuckle and a squeeze to your hand. “My mother says you have a good heart, and I trust her judgment. I will fight beside you, heal your crew, train whatever you need. I know what this is. I am here to join your ranks, Snake.”

“And we’re grateful to have you… Tomorrow, we’ll create the contract. For now,” You took your hand from his when you reached the side door to your building. Melli was waiting on the other side, opening it when you knocked. “Melli will show you to your room.”

He nodded to you before Melli ushered him inside.

“He’s cute!” She mouthed with a grin and you nodded with a small smile.

You took a deep breath through your nose and glanced around. The streets were quiet, as it usually was around your building. But sometimes the quiet was eerie, as it was tonight.

The calm before the storm, maybe. Or it was just calm for once, pieces finally falling into place for you. Yet it made you wonder how things might fall apart next.

The next morning, you waited until after breakfast. Kolya seemed to get along easily with the rest of your snakes and that eased some of your worry. The boy was all smiles as he went around, introducing himself to seemingly everyone.

You called both him and Melli into your office when it was time.

“I suppose I should formally introduce myself.” You began, sitting in your chair. Melli stood beside you and Kolya sat across from you. “My name is Davina. This is Melli, my lieutenant. I am also known as the Hood, who met you last night.”

“I’m Kolya.” He nodded. “But I’d prefer Kol.”

You slid the paperwork towards him. “This is your contract with us. In it, it states the usual bits about loyalty and expectations. It explains how our payouts work, promotions, selection for jobs, incentives, etc. I have to recommend you read it on your own because I’m sure to forget something.”

Kol began to read the papers, his finger following along each line.

“We don’t recruit via buying out other deals, so it’s not a contract you earn your way out of.” Melli added. “There’s a renewal date, about 18 months from signing, so you won’t be paying a portion to the snakes.”

“How do you earn profit then?” Kol looked up for a moment before returning to reading.

“Everything we do, from our gambling hall to running jobs, comes into communal funds. Once a week, we payout the snakes and the rest stays in the coffers for whatever we need as a whole.” You explained. “Food, bills, supplies for jobs, business acquisitions.”

“And how do I go about one of those?” He pointed to the tattoo that was showing thanks to your sleeveless shirt, the snake beginning on your shoulder before creeping down and its head resting on your collarbone.

“Four weeks after signing.”

“Like a probationary period.” Melli nodded.

“Well.” He smiled. “I’m convinced. Davina, Melli, it’d be my honor.”

He signed the papers and you passed over his first payment. He took it with a thankful smile and practically skipped out of the room. You told him to ready himself to meet his potential teacher and that seemed to put even more pep in his step if possible.

“He seems nice.” Melli said once the door shut.

You were filing the paper away. “He does seem to be making friends quickly.” You agreed.

“Davina.” She practically sang and there was a teasing tone in her voice.

“Yes, Melli?” You looked up and saw the mischievous smile on her face. “All the Saints.” You sighed and rested a chin on your hand. “What’s that look for?”

“He’s very cute.”

“Is he?” You pretended you hadn’t noticed.

“And he’s nice. Loyal.”

“Seemingly loyal. We don’t know that for sure yet.”

“He signed on with barely any questions.” She deadpanned. “Don’t you see?”

“That we’ve found a great asset?” You shrugged.

Her eyes went wide and she threw her hands around in a frenzy. “No, Davina! Did you see the way he was looking at you?”

“Don’t start that.” You groaned.

“Maybe… If you get to know him…”

“Melli.” You warned.

“I’m just saying! It might help you get over-“

“Do not say it.” You cut in firmly. “There is nothing between Kaz and I.”

Your mind told you that was a blatant lie but you shoved the thought away, even if it were true.

“Then, please Davina, tell me why you’re so obsessed with that cursed alliance! You know he won’t go for it!”

“It’s more than an alliance.”

“Exactly. You’ve developed an infatuation and I don’t blame you. He’s very pretty but Davina, he’s horrid. You’ve heard what they say about him, the things he’s done.”

“Yes, and I’m daughter of the ‘King of the Barrel’. Who’s to say I’m much better than Brekker? Who’s to say my conscience hasn’t withered to something like his?”

“So you find kinship in him?” She scoffed.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does! Your endless fawning is going to get you killed.”

“Enough!” You snapped. “What I hope to gain with Kaz is my personal responsibility. I’ve said that and I will not require you or any of the snakes to partake in it. If I have to leave them in your care for that time being, I will, but I won’t have you pestering me to stop.”

“Pestering.” She repeated and her face fell. “I didn’t realize that’s how you saw me.”

“You don’t understand.” You sighed.

“But you won’t tell me?”

“I can’t… I can’t because the story isn’t only mine to tell.”

She left without another word and you felt the guilt settle in your stomach like a rock. You knew it wasn’t fair to keep that kind of secret from Melli. She was supposed to be your most trusted, yet you kept your biggest motivation a secret. You wondered what Kaz had told Inej or Jesper.

Did they know that he knew you? That you knew his brother? Saints, did they even know he had a brother? Too many questions with no means of an answer. You went back to your room and washed before dressing in something more fitting to wear in Nina’s presence.

You snapped your cloak at your throat, called on Kol, and left your building.

When you arrived at the White Rose, you were led almost immediately to Nina. It seemed coming on a fairly regular schedule had earned you more priority. You liked the feeling of importance as you were led to Nina’s room.

“I come with a gift.” You said as Kol shut the door behind him.

She gasped. “Waffles?”

“Ah, ‘fraid not.” You clicked your tongue, pulling your hood down, and she huffed in disappointment. “But you may be more interested in this, Nina Zenik.”

“I do prefer silks or jewels as my flattery.” She said in thought. She seemed to finally register Kol. “You brought a friend? I’m surprised you have any.”

“Oh hush.” You waved a hand. “I brought you a student.”

“He’s Grisha? Corporalki?”

You stepped aside and motioned for Kol to take over.

“Yes, Miss.” He nodded. “My name is Kol and I am Grisha, from the Little Palace. I am a Healer mainly, but my mother says I can Tailor well and have potential as a Heartrender, if I can find a true teacher.”

She stared at him for a moment before she smiled slightly. “I do vaguely remember you…” She turned to you. “You want me to teach him?”

“I’d appreciate it.” You nodded. “I know you have obligations to the Dregs, so I don’t ask this as a snake.”

“Have you joined her ranks?” Nina asked Kol.

“If she’ll have me.” He nodded.

“Why?”

He looked at you and you could see what Melli meant that morning. Big, soft eyes and a gentle, almost admiring smile. You returned the small smile and nodded in encouragement.

“It was my mother’s idea.” He confessed. “She has worked with her a time or two, and my mother has always been a good judge of character. Never quite trusted the Darkling or his ambitions, but enjoyed the perks of the Little Palace.”

“We all have our vices.” Nina shrugged.

“I enjoy helping people, but I also like a good fight.” His eyes seemed to shine at the prospect. “That’s part of why we left Ravka. Mother said I’d be of too much interest for the Darkling. So it seems the Hood and the snakes can give exactly what I’m looking for.”

“Hmm.” She thought, lounging on her velvet couch. “Oh, alright. You’ve wooed me with those glittering eyes of yours. I’ll teach him.”

You and Kol smiled at her.

“But-“ She pointed at you. “I expect waffles. Or candies. Better yet, both.”

“I will make a note for next time, but for now, I hope this will do.” You laughed and dropped the money on the table. “Thank you, Nina. And you know I have to ask…”

She waved a hand. “I don’t have to tell Brekker anything I don’t want to. Now, leave us.” She shooed you away.

“As you wish.” You pulled your hood up. “I’ll wait for you outside, Kol.”

“Thank you.” He nodded and the excitement shone in his eyes.

You went outside and took a deep breath. The bustling crowds moved around you, some bumping your shoulder. You saw street performers shouting and dancing, magicians and illusionists. You saw kids trying to pick pockets. Some succeeded, some were scolded.

For the first time in a long time, you felt successful.

You had a Healer. You had a teacher for your Healer to expand his talents. You had a new business.

Maybe you could do this. Maybe you did have a chance.

All you needed was to settle up with Kaz.

“Speak of the Devil.” You muttered as you saw the black clad menace making his way over, the crowd parting as he moved through. The tapping of his cane grew closer and you tried to flatten against the wall. You tilted your head down in hopes of him passing you by, but he stopped right in front of you. You cursed silently and lifted your eyes.

“Fancy meeting you here, Da-“ He began.

When you heard the first syllable of your name, you reacted. You gripped his jacket with one hand and clasped your hand over his mouth as you pulled him into the nearest alley.

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