#lightweight stuff is nice sometimes

[mabelsguidetolife]

washing makeup off your face and then moisturizing can feel sooo spiritually cleansing tbh

[copperbadge]

I'm getting depressingly good at identifying the formula for Pop Academic Books About ADHD.

Regardless of their philosophy it pretty much goes like this:

1. Emotionally sensitive essay about the struggle of ADHD and the author's personal experience with it as both a person with ADHD and a healthcare professional.

2. Either during or directly following this, a lightly explicated catalogue of symptoms, illustrated by anecdotes from patient case studies. Optional: frequent, heavy use of metaphor to explain ADHD-driven behavior.

3. Several chapters follow, each dedicated to a symptom; these have a mini-formula of their own. They open with a patient case study, discuss the highly relatable aspects of the specific symptom or behavior, then offer some lightweight examples of a treatment for the symptom, usually accompanied by follow up results from the earlier case studies.

4. Somewhere around halfway-to-two-thirds through the book, the author introduces the more in-depth explication of the treatment system (often their own homebrew) they are advocating. These are generally both personally-driven (as opposed to suggested cultural changes, which makes sense given these books' target audience, more on this later) and composed of an elaborate system of either behavior alteration or mental reframing. Whether this system is actually implementable by the average reader varies wildly.

5. A brief optional section on how to make use of ADHD as a tool (usually referring to ADHD or some of its symptoms as a superpower at least once). Sometimes this section restates the importance of using the systems from part 4 to harness that superpower. Frequently, if present, it feels like an afterthought.

6. Summation and list of further resources, often including other books which follow this formula.

I know I'm being a little sarcastic, but realistically there's nothing inherently wrong about the formula, like in itself it's not a red flag. It's just hilariously recognizable once you've noticed it.

It makes sense that these books advocate for the Reader With ADHD undertaking personal responsibility for their treatment, since these are in the tradition of self-help publishing. They're aimed at people who are already interested in doing their own research on their disability and possible ways to handle it. It's not really fair to ask them to be policy manuals, but I do find it interesting that even books which advocate stuff like volunteering (for whatever reason, usually to do with socialization issues and isolation, often DBT-adjacent) never suggest disability activism either generally or with an ADHD-specific bent.

None of these books suggest that perhaps life with ADHD could be made easier with increased accommodations or ease of medication access, and that it might be in a person's best interest to engage in political advocacy surrounding these and other disability-related issues. Or that activism related to ADHD might help to give someone with ADHD a stronger sense of ownership of their unique neurology. Or that if you have ADHD the idea of activism or even medical self-advocacy is crushingly stressful, and ways that stress might be dealt with.

It does make me want to write one of my own. "The Deviant Chaos Guide To Being A Miscreant With ADHD". Includes chapters on how to get an actual accurate assessment, tips for managing a prescription for a controlled substance, medical and psychiatric self-advocacy for people who are conditioned against confrontation, When To Lie About Being Neurodivergent, policy suggestions for ADHD-related legislation, tips for activism while executively dysfunked, and to close the book a biting satire of the pop media idea of self-care. ("Feeling sad? Make yourself a nice pot of chicken soup from scratch and you'll feel better in no time. Stay tuned after this rambling personal essay for the most mediocre chicken soup recipe you've ever seen!" "Have you considered planning and executing an overly elaborate criminal heist as a way to meet people and stay busy?")

Every case study or personal anecdote in the book will have a different name and demographics attached but will also make it obvious that they are all really just me, in the prose equivalent of a cheap wig, writing about my life. "Kelly, age seven, says she struggles to stay organized using the systems neurotypical children might find easy. I had to design my own accounting spreadsheet in order to make sure I always have enough in checking to cover the mortgage, she told me, fidgeting with the pop socket on her smartphone."

I feel a little bad making fun, because these books are often the best resource people can get (in itself concerning). It's like how despite my dislike of AA, I don't dunk on it in public because I don't want to offer people an excuse not to seek help. It feels like punching down to criticize these books, even though it's a swing at an industry that is mainly, it seems, here to profit from me. But one does get tired of skimming the hype for the real content only to find the real content isn't that useful either.

Les (not his real name) was diagnosed at the age of 236. Charming, well-read, and wealthy, he still spent much of his afterlife feeling deeply inadequate about his perceived shortcomings. "Vampire culture doesn't really acknowledge ADHD as a condition," he says. "My sire wouldn't understand, even though he probably has it as well. You should see the number of coffins containing the soil of his homeland that he's left lying forgotten all over Europe." A late diagnosis validated his feelings of difference, but on its own can't help when he hyperfocuses on seducing mortals who cross his path and forgets to get home before sunrise. "I have stock in sunburn gel companies," he jokes.

[artisticxlly]

Kagehina/Shobio headcanons!

Hinata has very pronounced canine teeth.

Both are a little possessive, but Hinata is worse off when it comes to it (he's more confrontational).

Kageyama has a thing for how Hinata smells and also how their bodies fit together (deep pressure has a big appeal to him (yes, he's autistic why do you ask /rhet)).

They both like getting their hair played with.

The most 'couply' petname they use is babe/baby (usually former gets used by Kageyama and latter gets used by Hinata), otherwise its playful insults or each other's first names.

Hinata likes spicy food, and Kageyama hates it (if it's past a certain spice level, he gets overwhelmed).

Hinata smells like coconut and citrus, and Kageyama smells like mint/flowery scents. Though subtle ones, he doesn't like heavily perfumed stuff.

Hinata tans and Kageyama sunburns.

Hinata has a shit ton of freckles, and Kageyama has a very small amount of moles that are very prominent. They are both kissed equally as much by the other partner.

(This one's a possible art idea of mine) In third year, Hinata steals some of Natsu's quite flashy/girly hairclips because Kageyama got irritated as he couldn't see Hinata's eyes (he had to surpress the urge to push Hinata's bangs back for him but don't worry he wasn't pining or anything nooo /s). Kageyama proceeded to have a gay crisis (Also, He/They Hinata is real to me idc idc idc /hj).

Kageyama isn't super great at eye contact except when it comes to Hinata. With him, he usually looks him in the eyes when speaking.

Hinata visited Kazuyo's grave to ask for his blessings before he confessed to Kageyama. Like he got flowers to put by the grave and even dressed up nicely for it. Kageyama was never told this, but he did notice the new addition of flowers when he visited Kazuyo's grave a few days later.

They like holding hands a LOT. It's one of their favourite pda's.

Big spoon? Little spoon? Nah, literally think of the most uncomfortable-looking position to entangle yourself in, and thats EXACTLY how they sleep.

Their closets aren't separated, which means they often just wear each other's clothes.

Kageyama gets cuteness irritation, he frowns a lot and knits his eyebrows together when Hinata is being adorable (Hinata doesn't pick up on that fact for a while and often criticises Kageyama for glaring at him even though he didn't do anything wrong).

Hinata likes marking Kageyama, sorry- Also, they get very demanding when needy,,

They have a nightlight by their bed and lamps scattered all over their living space. They practically never turn the big lights on.

Hinata starts carrying Kageyama's fidget toys with him, not only because he himself finds them fun to play with but also in the case of Kageyama getting overstimulated in a social setting.

The first time Kageyama was overwhelmed and rushed out of a scene, he had Hinata following him. Kageyama, at that point nonverbal, ended up explaining in writing what was going on with him on a tiny notebook he kept in his pocket. They wrote back and forth on it even and somewhere in Kageyama's old stash of things, he still keeps that notebook with the written pages still attached.

They both have sound-making stims that they do back and forth sometimes (Hinata pops his lips/makes a 'brr'/'mrp' sound and Kageyama clicks his tongue/snaps his fingers or cracks his knuckles). In some instances, they end up mirroring each other (with Kageyama doing an endearingly shabby job at rollings his 'r's).

They like making fun of romance movies when watching them, especially if the plot points are irritating or the characters are stupid (as if those two weren't pining for each other for literal YEARS before getting together.

They're both terrible at holding their alcohol. Both of them are lightweights for SURE.

If they got married: Hinata figured out when Kageyama would propose because he started fidgetting with the box in his jacket pocket and Hinata kept hearing something snap shut and open over and over.

I'd like to think that once they retire from the professional volleyball careers, they'd get a cat.

I also think they'd help out at volleyball workshops for younger teens when they're older (they like teaching the kids about their passion).

EDIT: Kageyama is a very stiff dancer while Hinata is veryyy smooth with hips (It flusters the hell out of Kageyama I just know it).

Let me know your thoughts if you have any!! :D

[woodswallow]

RammWear

As I once stated in this post, I feel close to my favourite Rammstein members Richard, Paul and Schneider when I wear clothes that are inspired by their (stage) outfits. I love wearing my R+-merch of course, but for me this is a more subtle and everyday-method to have a bit of them with me :)

So, over the past 3 years, I was inspired by their style, bought clothes (sometimes secondhand) that resembled theirs and tried to mimic their style. Of course not every part – I only wanted stuff that I really liked, not for the sake of imitating them. I wanted clothes that are also MY style, but are inspired by theirs.

So lovely @vulnerant-omnes gave me the idea to do a little RammWear fashion-show, where I am showing my „ot3 <3“-style. Here's a first part of it:

First: My Richard-stage belt :D Daaamn, I LOVE it so, sooo much and I'm so proud of me that I found something, that resembles his stage-belts so nicely, but having also a bit more of a alternative/boho-style to it. It's real leather and is purely decorative, so not a real „belt“ - but it does accentuate the butt quite nicely – just like Richards ;D

Here's a reference picture, in case someone doesn't know what I'm talking about:

Second: My hommage to the Paul Landers stage outfit!

My god, I love his stage outfit so damn much! It fits him so well and in my opinion is very flattering to his body. I love all the pouches and the decorations, it has a very unique „industrial-/end of the world-style“, like from another planet. I searched for ages to find something that resembled this outfit and especially the pants. I found the original designer (Demobaza – damn cool, incredibly expensive!) and also a copy of that, which was „only“ half the price, so still damn expensive...and it didn't fit right, I was so sad... but I took some pictures anyway. So these are the copied stage pants, I send them back because they were too tight on my stomach:

But then I found a very nice second hand biker jacket in sweatshirt style. When I wear it with my favourite grey jeans, it gives me some Paul-Landers-stage-outfit-vibes...what do you think? It's definitely not a copy, far from that. But I'd say it's a low budget hommage, very my style and definitely made for everyday wear – which was very important for me. I don't want to buy stuff which looks great but I never wear. My mum complimented me on that jacket and I really love it :D

Third: My Schneider-necklace and Richard-ring!

Schneider has worn this necklace for years now. I saw it on him during concerts, photo shoots and even on private pictures. It must mean something to him. And I personally am a big fan of jewellery that is with you everyday, that you never take off. Like it's belonging to you. I have the feeling it's like that with Schneider and this necklace. I did some research about the type of necklace, it seems to be an anchor chain. Mine is made of titanium, very lightweight. I love the grey, not shiny colour and how it's unisex looking, not too feminine but also not too massive or "manly".

In the picture is also my Richard-ring. You probably/maybe know this very early VIVA-interview from 1995:

There the cameraperson has a really weird way of filming, and once he/she zooms on Richards hand. I noticed that ring and liked it very much, I think it suits Richard very well. Unfortunately I've never seen it on him again. But still, he wore it at that time. I found a similar one, it has some ornaments that his doesn't have, but I really love that ring – have worn it for almost 2,5 years straight now, everyday and I feel naked without it.

Please let me know if you're interested in seeing more like this (a „like“ on this post counts for me ;). I have some more R+-inspired pieces and could make another one or two posts :) !

[valeriehalla]

Hi! I juuust found your work, and I like it (namely through that formatting post, but now I'm actually reading through CURSE/KISS/CUTE and, hey! It is cute! Aster's growing on me)!

I'm actually in the process of writing another book—er, webnovel. Something free because I want people to have the chance to actually invest themselves in it—and I wanted to ask! Did you code the site all yourself, or did you use something as a framework? And, to someone who doesn't know much code, what would you reccomend?

Asters are always growing in odd places ...

I coded the whole entire thing myself. I even coded a ton of backend tools that live on my computer for automating tasks like formatting pages and converting images. I did all of this because I’m a freak...? And I wanted to optimize for fast, lightweight page loads with no server-side rendering. (The entire website is static HTML.)

For someone less inclined to hubris than me, depending on your skill level or interest in learning web code I would recommend either:

just using Wordpress (every web host in existance has a big glowing button labeled “install wordpress” for making a wordpress site and there are endless templates for formatting any kind of post you can imagine with no coding required), or

picking a static site generator and using that (for a fast and lightweight website but one that you might have to do a little coding to finish out the way you like it).

Notably, one thing I don’t recommend is using SquareSpace. For one thing, they have an adult content ban on the books; for another, if you ever do want to do something as basic with your website as “upload an HTML page you coded yourself”, you’ll find yourself locked out in the cold, because that’s grown-up stuff and they don’t like you doing that. (Learning this the hard way is the reason I ended up making my new website myself. A nice thing about a static site is that not only do you have complete control, but it’s fully portable, too: just paste the files into whatever web host you like and it’ll work just the same.*)

*except sometimes you gotta configure your .htaccess a bit etc

[vyl3tpwny]

do you have a preferred method to get vsts and other such instruments for a DAW?? im poor as heck and dont know ANYTHING about piracy, im so scared of getting goobered by people on the internet

i wish i knew more about the best go-to sites for pirating rn unfortunately i have no clue. ppl on the internet can have such shit intentions too so i dont even know where to look or who to ask. but also here's some free + VERY cheap things u may consider (below the break):

vital synth (i will always shill for vital bc i use it constantly and its free lol)

ob-xd synth (it says buy for $49, but the free download is on the left. the buy link is just a donate)

klanghelm plugins (all these are made by one dude. mjuc is a great vintage style compressor, the dc8c is a pretty featured compressor for the price, sdrr has a particularly nice tube saturation/distortion, and vumt is a great metering plugin, i have vumt on every single project since 2019)

analog obsession (if you donate $5 to their patreon you can get every single plugin they make. also all made and maintained by one person. lots of different things, so i recommend just downloading everything and exploring the functions of the plugins)

tokyo dawn labs (all very high quality mixing stuff. they have free versions of most of their premium stuff and they're quite featured despite being free. ez.)

kilohearts (they recently made all their main effects free. and if you want their flagship stuff, its all rent-to-own as well.)

sforzando (soundfont player. if you dont know what soundfonts are, theyre essentially really condensed, lightweight sampled instruments. they can often sound rlly cheap or tacky [which might be good, i definitely love that sound] but just install this and google [instrument] soundfont and just find lots of free instruments that way)

togu audio line (some free effects and instruments if you scroll down. but i also recommend TAL Sampler if you want a cool sampler and can afford it)

meldaproduction (has a free plugin suite. theres an annoying watermark at the bottom for free versions, but everyone understands. shit is expensive)

native instruments (they have the komplete start bundle which is just a bunch of free decent stuff)

musicradar FREE SAMPLES (ive sworn by a few of the sample resources that i've gotten from musicradar as far back as 2011 lol)

looperman FREE SAMPLES (looperman is a user-sourced sample website where ppl upload samples they've made* and you can just download and use them for free. sometimes people request specific credit, so check for that if you can. *NOTE: its very possible for people to upload unlicensed samples or stuff they didn't make so use your best judgement when sorting through stuff)

freesound FREE SAMPLES (freesound rules always reliable)

synth1 (AHHHH IM SO HAPPY I CAN RECOMMEND THIS RIGHT NOW!!!! synth1 used to be abandonware but was finally picked up again and is supported by modern systems once more. i used this religiously from 2013-2017. and i'm going to start using it again honestly)

valhalladsp (this is the only exclusively premium thing i'm going to leave in this thread [aside from bitwig, below], but it's just that god damn good. every plugin of theirs is $50, so if you can manage to go for ValhallaVintageVerb and/or ValhallaDelay you will basically never need another reverb/delay ever again; would recommend NOT pirating from them if you can help it bc theyre definitely a very small company but u know.. ur call)

bitwig (if you need a DAW, i can now heartily recommend Bitwig. it's on the rent to own program through splice if you're ok getting it legally...)

—

i know this isnt what u asked but i hope its still helpful. i've also rescinded my recommendations for spitfire audio bc the company was revealed to be run by a bunch of queerphobic knuckleheads. everything in this list i have personally used for my own music and can vouch for them from actual experience (YES even bitwig, i made the song "Futura" on Carousel exclusively with Bitwig, making it the first time i've made an entire song outside of Ableton since 2014).

again i hope this helps, forgive me for not knowing enough about pirating at the moment 😭 please make so much music and please look at this animal:

[pensat-i-fet]

A special spooky visit (Dominik Szoboszlai x Reader) / Halloween '23

Masterlist

Wattpad

Several Liverpool players were gathered near the entrance of the training centre, waiting to be told why they were even there.

“Hey guys! Sorry this is very last minute but we’ll need you to do a little event for the club after training”.

“What is it?”, asked Trent.

“A hospital visit. For Halloween”.

“Halloween?”, asked Dominik, confused. He was used to visiting children for Christmas but not Halloween. “What gifts are we supposed to bring them? There are no gifts exchanged on Halloween, right?”

Some of his teammates were amused by his confusion, even if they shared it. But they were all told it wasn’t about gifts, just about being there for the children on a special day.

So, after training, those ten players made their way to a few hospitals, ready to make some kids very happy. Unless they were actually Everton fans or, even worse, United fans. They wouldn’t enjoy the visit much then.

“Hello everyone”, said a doctor when they got to the floor where the kids were. And then she looked at Robertson. “Hello Andrew”.

Dominik saw the interaction and was confused again. There was a lot of familiarity in that greeting. And wasn’t his teammate married to someone else?

“If you follow me, I’ll take you where the children are. We have some activities prepared for the day. Just games for children, nothing too fancy really. And so it’d be great if you could just play with them. It’ll make their day”.

They followed her and were introduced to the children. Dominik saw a game he recognized and thought it could be fun to start with that one. But when he did, he walked past the doctor and Robertson chatting.

“I brought the one you like”, he told her.

“I don’t like anyone, stop it”.

“You sure?”

“Yes, you know my rules too”.

“Nonsense. It’s all just nonsense”, he said and laughed.

And then the doctor turned and her eyes fell on Dominik, who didn’t realise was staring at her. She cleared her throat and introduced herself to the Hungarian player.

“Nice meeting you too”, he said. “What do you know Andy from?”

“Hell”, she said, rolling her eyes. “Sorry, inside jokes. He’s married to one of my best friends. So I must put up with him a lot”.

Well, that made sense. “Cool. Um…I’ll go play with the kids”.

“Of course. Let me know if you need anything. They can get a bit restless and will be a bit overexcited because of the visit too”.

Dominik nodded and moved to join a group of kids to start playing the game they had on the table. It was really nice, actually. One of the things he loved the most about being a footballer was how easy it was for him to make children happy. It felt like a superpower.

The doctor, however, felt her superpowers were at their lowest levels that day. One of the kids started to cry and there seemed to be nothing she could do, so she took him out of the room to try and calm him down. Dominik followed them with his eyes the whole time. He was so intrigued by her.

“She’s pretty, right?”

“What?”

“The doctor”, said Andy. “She’s a friend of mine”.

“She said she was a friend of your wife’s”.

“Of course she did”, laughed the Scotsman. “She likes me too, sometimes. Do you like her?”

“What? I just met her. I spoke two words to her”.

“She likes you”.

“What are you talking about?”, laughed Dominik. He knew his teammate’s sense of humour was odd sometimes but this was another level of strange.

“We were chatting one day, right? And we had a couple of drinks. The poor doctor is a bit of a lightweight and so we asked her some questions while she was tipsy. Silly stuff. But one of the things she said was that the new Liverpool player was cute. And when we tried to get her to say which one, she said you. So I asked for you to come to this visit so she could meet you”.

Dominik didn’t know whether to laugh or clap at the story. But it was Halloween, not April Fools so…

“Do you really mean it? That she likes me and you organised this?”

“Yeah. Clever, right?”

“But what if I didn’t like her?”

“Then you and your stupidity could deal with that problem yourselves”, said Andy, getting up from the chair so he could go hang out with more kids. “Don’t miss this chance. And you’ll thank me later”.

A couple of minutes later, the doctor entered the room again with the little child who had been crying before. He seemed to be fine then but Dominik approached them anyway.

“All good?”

“Yes”, she said, surprised to see him chatting with her. “It’s been a long day for some of them. But we’re good, right Alfie?”

The little boy, Alfie, nodded. And Dominik looked up from him to look at the doctor again. Robertson was right. He would be stupid if he wasted that opportunity. She was really pretty, obviously really smart and seemed incredibly kind to the children.

“I can play with you, Alfie. If you want to”.

“I was going to be alone with him for a bit…”, she started to say.

“Can I join your party of two?”

“Yes!”, said Alfie, smiling at last.

And so the three of them picked up some pieces of paper to do Halloween drawings. The doctor was the best at it and, well, Dominik was the worst. He was never an artistic kid.

Alfie was highly amused too by trying to pronounce Dominik’s last name and the doctor tried too. Dominik found his name sounded especially nice when she said it. How interesting.

“I’m going to play with Mindy”, said Alfie all of a sudden, leaving them alone.

“Bye then!”, laughed the doctor, smiling widely at the little boy.

“You’re really good at this”, said Dominik.

“Thank you. I try my best but some days are harder than others. Today is easier. You should come visit more often”, she joked.

“Do you mean you as in the players or you as in me?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, but then she realised. “You talked to Andy, right? It was just a silly comment”.

“I’m wounded. I liked thinking you liked me”.

She blushed slightly and laughed. “I mean, I don’t dislike you despite the obvious flaw”.

“You lost me”.

Now she really laughed. “Andy didn’t tell you one of my main rules then”.

“No. What is it?”

“I don’t date Liverpool players”.

“Why?”

“Because I’m an Everton fan”.

“Can I do something to change your mind?”, he asked.

“Maybe come visit again”.

It turned out after all that an Everton fan did enjoy the Liverpool players visiting. Must have been a spooky season miracle. 

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

Hey I just saw your beeswax post and Kim fascinated. What does thread conditioning mean? (If you don’t mind explaining, I know I could Google it but I enjoy listening to people talk about stuff that they enjoy)

I do like talking about sewing! Though lately I've been using my hands for it so much that they're sore for typing sometimes. I need to strengthen my arms so the ligaments stop bitching. >.>

There's an exploration in the last reblog here. Basically: Conditioners are substances you put onto thread to make it stronger and more manageable.

Sometimes that's done in the manufacturing process, like for the creation of hand-quilting thread. It's already stiffer and smoother than usual cotton thread. But even then, once I've got it on the needle, I pull the thread over a lump of wax to add a thin coating to it. This is hugely to get the thread to forget the tight curls it has learned on the spool, which make it likely to snarl and be a pain.

There's also a whole thing where like... most modern thread isn't made for handsewing. A hand-sewn seam has one length of thread, two if it's doubled back. A sewing machine has two threads, twined together in a way that's really strong. (Technically it's "couched", not sewn, which takes people a bit of work to understand sometimes.) Overlock machines use three or four or five threads to make a seam. All of this leans the balance of demand in mass-produced thread towards stuff that is thin and lightweight, won't create a seam that is too bulky, but not particularly strong or smooth. If you buy cheap thread, that's what you'll probably get. If I want thread in a very specific colour, polyester thread gives me more choices, but is much less nice to sew with.

(There's also a whole thing about polyester, a petroleum byproduct, being way cheaper and easier to produce than natural fibers like cotton, silk, linen, or wool.)

I'm guessing professionally manufactured thread conditioners avoid some of the pitfalls of my beeswax, which responds to me coating the thread too thickly by shedding wax along the fabric as I sew, in a way that kind of looks like dandruff. But meh, I can live with that.

[mychlapci]

Milf Drift mania is all consuming

Drift, who worried himself to tears that he ruined any chance of carrying from his days of substance abuse, would take on being a fat milf in a heartbeat.

The second he finds out he's carrying he'll be so excited and go right into momma mode. He has double his rations every day so he can put on weight as soon as possible for his precious little bitlets, making his already curvy body rounder and softer. He hasn't even been sparked for a month, yet he insists Ratchet feel his titties every day so he can track if they're growing enough for his sparklings. Ratchet assures him the changes to his frame will come slowly, but imagine his surprise when one day they wake up and Drift is absolutely huge.

His tits filled so much overnight his chest plating did an emergency override to open up, now he has 6 sets of massive leaky titties that are so sensitive it leaves him begging for Ratchet to nurse off him to relieve some of the pressure. Drift's frame is ruined and he loves it. He'll never be that skinny lightweight speedster again and he's the happiest he's ever been, he loves to be a fat carrier growing what he finds out to be six big healthy babies.

He'll keep up his duties on deck as long as he can, but he'll be forced to go into an early maternity leave. It's not that Drift can't work so late into his carrying, the problem is that he's so sexy he's gonna make the damn ship crash. Rodimus can't keep his eyes or hands off him, which Drift just eats right up. He's been going without his chest plating since it forced itself open, leaving his huge breast out for everyone to see. He's so into all the attention and praise he's been getting for being a good carrier. Everyone wants to feel his huge baby bump and dote on him, most secretly wishing they could have been the one to knock up the third in command if they knew it'd make him so hot. Megatron has to be the one to order Drift to his room, and he hates it because it's depriving him of the perfect view of Drift's fat aft and those wide hips that beg to be grabbed.

Ratchet hardly cares everyone is fawning over his conjunx because he knows Drift is all his. He thinks he's been doing a good job hiding how insanely turned on he is by Drift's new heavy frame, but Drift's been onto him since day 1. Ratchet is getting off on claiming Drift as his own. Even more than being married to the guy, Drift is carrying his sparklings. His body is completely warped now from him, and once the sparklings are born Ratchet is going to fill him right back up, and Drift will be begging for it. He has Drift in every way, and now everyone else gets to seethe in jealousy for not taking him first.

hrghh Drift would be so excited to be a momma... rubbing his growing belly, checking his nozzles in the mirror to see if there's any milk coming out yet, gladly jumping at any opportunity to have Ratchet run an ultrasound and show him the state of the newsparks and forming protoforms... Drift eats so well and so much, he grows a nice plush ass and for a while, his tummy gets so big you can't actually see his bump... Of course, the bitlets grow fast, and his belly dents out quickly.

Drift was attractive before but now that he's an expecting momma everyone aboard the ship is obsessed with the doting carrier. They only keep their hands off because behind the cute carrier is an extremely irritable medic, but sometimes not even that seems like enough. Especially when Drift's titties get so big he can't stuff them behind his plating anymore...

Ratchet has a field day, every day, getting to squeeze Drift's warm tits and rub his large bump as he fucks him from behind, telling him all about how much bigger he's going to get and Drift just sobs, overloading hard.

By the end of his pregnancy, Drift is twice as wide as he used to be, titties getting pumped three times a day and pussy so swollen he has to stay in their habsuite on most days, because he can't close his panels <3

[nekohime19]

Okay so... another AITA story but this time it's not shadowpeach. Tbh I didn't know if you guys would enjoy that but I wrote it anyway so why not share it 🤷.

MK x oc

Mostly it's crack treated seriously, made to be fun. Also, it's an interactive story in reddit style.

Am I the asshole for punching my one-night stand in the face?

Soooo I'm panicking?? 😭😭. Alright, alright, let me explain everything. And oh boy this is a MESS 🙃.

So I (21/ male / monkey demon??? I'm questioning this 😭) have been going through what my best friend calls trauma, but I call ✨ tough heroing✨, and I'm not gonna lie I am maybe a tiny bit tired…. Okay who am I kidding I'm exhausted. I knew it wasn't easy to fight bad guys but I didn't expect to save the world thrice in less than a year 😅. How did my mentor did it for so long??? For context my mentor (super old/ male / monkey) is a retiring hero who's teaching me the ropes, we'll call him Mentor, cause that's what he is, you get it? Lol.

Anyway, it was a very busy year, and on top of that I learned that I'm maybe not quite the normal delivery guy. I'm like a monkey? But apparently I was created to die and save the world which is… tbh I didn't fully processed that yet 😬. But the body change was rough, to say the least. Having a tail sounds cool right? It isn't. I can't tell you guys how much I broke things by accident because of this darned thing 😤. This thing is UNCONTROLLABLE!

I thought my body would be the only thing to change but apparently it's not. Lucky me 😭. I have these instincts now. It started with little funny things, like wanting to groom my friends. That's cute, right? But then it developed into a whole mess. Sometimes I have the urge to climb things for no reason. Or steal shiny things. Or sometimes I just can't control myself and ends up yelling at rude customers (I also work at a noodle shop on top of heroing). Mentor says it's normal, that it's something every young monkey demon experiences and it might be a bit more intense for me cause all the instincts unlocked themselves when I unlocked my monkey form. Does that make sense for you guys??? 😅 Sorry, it's a bit hard to explain.

Anyway, all this to say that I've been a bit moody as of late, my best friend (21 / female / super cool dragon), we'll call her Awesome cause she's awesome, says it's like I have mood swings. And it's very frustrating. I already went through puberty and now I have to go through DEMON puberty. It's very uncool 😔. So I've been kinda down lately. To cheer me up Awesome told me about a nice party going downtown. She wouldn't be able to attend cause of family stuff but she said I should go out and have fun.

And I was like… why not? 🤷

It was kinda nice. I was able to dance to my heart's content and talk to nice people 😌. But then when I went to order a drink, I don't know what came over me, I went for an alcoholic one. I usually don't cause I'm quite the lightweight, but I was caught in the mood and felt a bit cheerful, 😅. Somehow I thought it's been a long time since I drank so maybe my tolerance went up? Like maybe with my training, you know, I built some new tolerance?

Yeah.

I ended up drunk 😬.

Things were a bit blurry after that. A fight broke out between two drunk guys, I intervened cause being a hero push me to do stupid stuff like that 🙃. I sided with one of the dude (we'll call him Rainbow cause he has a VERY colorful back, he's around my age for info) cause the other was being a huge douchebag. But obviously the bouncers didn't side with us but with the jerk. Typical 😭. So me and Rainbow were thrown out.

Rainbow seemed as drunk as me. I didn't get to see him that well in the dark but well we talked on the sidewalk, complained about the bouncers and the jerk and I guess we kinda clicked, ya know?

Then monkey instinct went brrrrrrr.

Like, I don't know, I felt lonely and I had a nice guy next to me and even if I didn‘t truly know how he looked I didn't really care at the time. 😭.

Normally I'm not THAT forward.

So… we ended up going in his nearby flat and, yeah… we slept together 🫣.

Okay. Okay. Don't judge me. I normally don't do one night stands. I actually don't have that much going on in my love life. But monkey hormones man… those are hard to control 😭.

So I wake up the next day with wrost headache on earth, swearing to myself that I'll never drink again. Then I remember some details of last night and I'm like : Oh man… I’m screwed. So after my mini panick attack, I decide to handle things nicely. Like, okay, I don't do one-night stands, but I can handle this with CLASS. like it's gonna be awkward but I'm just gonna tell Rainbow goodbye and never talk about this.

So I hear Rainbow waking up, he seems to have quite the headache too. So I turned towards him, prepared to handle this nicely, but then I see Rainbow… I didn't see him that well last night and well, huh, during our activities I wasn't really looking at his face. But now it's clear.

Rainbow is a spider demon.

And for info I have a bad case of arachnophobia 😭.

So instant reaction, I punch him, grab my clothes and run away.

After calming down, I feel awful. Like poor guy. He didn't deserve to be punched. And I can pack a mean punch. I also noticed that I left my jacket at his place and mind you it's a limited edition Monkey King jacket so I HAVE to get it back.

But now I don't know how I'll be able to face him ☠️. I don't really want to talk to my friends about this either cause they'll laugh at me for sure.

So I know I'm the AH in this scenario but WHAT DO I DO????

[plushie-sentai]

King Ohger Drinking Headcanons

Made a little list earlier in reply to @stickers-on-a-laptop but then got carried away in my free time at work and did a whole bunch so. Have fun! I love liquor and spirits (in like. A ooh yummy this is cool bartender way and not in a I love getting drunk way) so this was honestly rlly fun to write!

Character headcanons below the cut with some little stories hidden inside lol

Sorry I’m too lazy to fix the formatting I might do it later lol

⁃ Gira isn’t accustomed to drinking, he’s young and was used to being at the orphanage all the time anyways. When he does drink with the kings he either opts for something nonalcoholic like a glass of sparkling cider or whatever someone hands him. Kaguragi likes to mess with him and give him cocktails that he SAYS aren’t alcoholic but… definitely are. (Kagu learned the hard way the first time he messed with him like this that Gira is a lightweight and ended up taking care of him overnight in Shuggodam’s castle. The only person who knows is Douga since Gira doesn’t remember and Kagu refuses to admit he felt bad about the incident or that it even happened)

⁃ Yanma - drinks watered down bud light ass beer for the longest time. He doesn’t like it, but it’s what his mentor drank and he thinks it makes him look cool. That, and it’s cheap. This is all he drinks until Himeno buys everyone a round of her favorite cocktail of the week and he realizes he REALLY likes sweet stuff. He orders fruity drinks all the time “for shiokara” but if you watch carefully they’re always sharing it and he never finishes more than one shitty beer anymore. Kaguragi hasn’t told him abt craft beer and ipas yet but he knows it’ll rock his world. Absolutely forgot to add that if Yanma DOES order a cocktail for himself openly it’ll always be a jack and coke.

⁃ Himeno - Drinks fancy cocktails all day everyday. They’re usually very sweet, sometimes extra dry depending on the mood, and she loves anything with champagne, but despite how they look they’re always a higher percentage than anything the other kings are drinking. She also loves a good wine and savors any sommelier knowledge she receives from Sebastian, Cleo, Elegance, and of course Jeramie. Her dinner parties are always coupled with tasteful optional drinks planned to fit the meal. At least once she has a drinking contest with Kaguragi and absolutely drinks him under the table to everyone’s surprise (except sebas)

⁃ Rita - Rita also doesn’t drink much, as they aren’t a fan of being drunk around others and certainly don’t enjoy the mood that comes with drinking alone, but once they’re closer with the other kings (especially Himeno, as she and Morphonia get Rita to try all kinds of new things together) they branch out into drinking here and there. More often than not, you’ll find Rita at a king celebration nursing a glass of sake, a Smokey whiskey, or some very expensive vodka on the rocks. Don’t knock it till you try it in the cold of gokkan.

⁃ Kaguragi - Kaguragi of course drinks anything hand crafted from Toufu. His favorite are the Nigori sake and Daiginjo Junmai sake made from the Suzume’s tears rice. Of course, he’s also a big fan of mead! He does enjoy a good craft beer on the occasion, and will often drink whatever Himeno is serving at her dinners, even if it’s not his usual taste. He’s just happy to be included and have an opportunity to mess with the others a little given he has the highest tolerance out of anyone other than Himeno and Suzume and finds himself getting more tipsy while the others are already fully drunk.

⁃ Jeramie - Jeramie LOVES wine. He’s been drinking it for a long time and even has some bottles that he found in his mothers things that he’s never opened (that in my heart him and Gira share at their wedding). He tends to drink a rose or any white wines as he’s cautious of spilling red wine onto his suit, but he does love a nice sweet red blend too. Whenever he goes wine shopping in the different kingdoms he brings a bottle of his favorite reds to Himeno as a gift.

⁃ Racles - Big baby with alcohol. Never drank much due to fear of letting down his guard around others. Will drink whatever Suzume gives him but mostly refuses drinks from others even after the end of the story. When he does drink, he loves Suzume’s Nigori sake or a small glass of orange blossom mead. He does his best to be the “DD” for Gira (or whoever else needs it really but he always says he’s only there for Gira) Is a very loving and silly drunk the few times he has been and always gets snuggly with Gira (familially obviously), Suzume, and Kaguragi. Gira gets a bit embarrassed but always welcomes it happily, and suzu and kagu LOVE the attention and a chance to mess with him.

⁃ Douga - douga doesn’t like to drink a lot since he works a lot, but Gira tries to make sure he and his family are invited to celebrations where douga may partake in the occasional light beer (typically whatever Kaguragi brings bc he knows it’s always good). He used to drink a decent amount when he was younger so he tries to gently help Gira make sure he isn’t gonna over do it… Gira does accidentally anyways frequently lol

⁃ Kogane and Boone obviously don’t drink alcohol but Gira still makes them Shirley temples all the time as a treat (my sister used to make them for me when we had sibling sleepovers and watch mean girls so this is mostly for me lol)

⁃ Shiokara usually drinks fruity cocktails because he enjoys sour stuff and sodas, which he now usually ends up sharing with Yanma while he poses like he’s still drinking just his shitty beer. Shiokara is also a lovey dovey drunk, but no one is surprised since he’s also like this when he’s sober. Shio is also often a caretaker after parties, even if he himself is drunk, and finds himself helping with clean up and getting people home hydrated and safe, despite usually needing a place to crash himself (hopefully into yanmas arms-)

⁃ Sebastian doesn’t drink super often as he’s worried he wouldn’t be able to keep up appearances as an older gentleman, but when he’s with just the kings or just the ishibana squad, he doesn’t mind letting the veil drop. He’s unexpectedly a bit of a flirty drunk, but knowing this he’ll usually remove his makeup before drinking just so he doesn’t accidentally creep anyone out. Even regardless of that he’s still very aware and occasionally charmingly over-careful about people’s boundaries. He usually drinks whatever he is helping to prepare for Himeno as it’s what’s available, but his favorite is Spumante champagne.

⁃ Cleo - Cleo is a conniseur of all things ishibanan, her favorites being cocktails made with crème de violette and/or white chocolate crème liquor. She doesn’t get drunk often unless she’s having a girls night with elegance and Himeno (and sometimes sebas), but when she is she somehow ends up very quiet and only speaks to either give the wisest advice you’ve ever heard or something just completely unintelligible to anyone but her.

⁃ Elegance doesn’t drink pretty much unless Cleo does, so they’re about on par there. They like to share drinks with each other on occasion so they can try everything sebas and the chef came up with for a meal or party. The first time she drinks with the other kings however they learn that she used to be a bit of a partier when she was younger and always has stories to tell about this time. Yanma (and sometimes Kagu) like to challenge her to arm wrestling but they pretty much always lose. Yanma definitely always loses.

⁃ Morphonia may have started drinking when she was a teen (just for shits n giggles) but she still has a laughably low tolerance. She tried once to drink whatever Rita’s drinking but that night… did not end well. Not that she didn’t appreciate being waited on by Himeno and Rita themselves. She’s honestly a fan of the light beers Yanma never seems to finish, and she thinks the fact he won’t admit he hates them is funny, so she drinks them for him whenever he leaves one open. I don’t think Yanma ever notices it’s her drinking them, lol. She loves to party, but she’s a very chill drunk, and definitely prefers an edible to a glass of anything.

⁃ Kuroko - will typically have the first glass out of any bottle opens for Kaguragi, mostly for safety, but he tends to enjoy the same as him other than will prefer to have beer more often than any spirit. Doesn’t drink a lot because he likes to stay on guard for Kaguragi (though he usually doesn’t need it lol)

⁃ Suzume CAN outdrink Kaguragi, and is pretty evenly matched with Himeno, but often prefers to pretend to get drunk so she can pull pranks or gossip or do whatever scheme she has her heart set on. She also loves a good Suzume’s tears nigori sake, and will occasionally partake in an edible when offered by morf. The few times she does get genuinely drunk, she almost seems exactly the same and lucid?? People are very confused by this lol

⁃ Gerojim, like other bugnarak, have “strange taste” when it comes to liquor. His favorite drinks, on the rare occasion that he feels comfortable to partake, are VERY light absinthe cocktails with a lot of sugar, a bugnarak-made kelp liquor (yes it exists irl), and buganarak algae beer (which also exists, tho very little of it lol. A French brand made some in 2022 and it’s BLUE). Despite his size, he is definitely a lightweight, and is very careful about how much he drinks as alcohol tends to have a bit of an aphrodisiac-like effect on bugnarak and gerojim gets very embarrassed about his behavior during previous fun-times. (note: this is based in studies showing that rejected male flies may turn to alcohol when offered combined with a cursory glance at articles about alcohol creating pheromone signals in fruit flies as well. No promises that this is perfectly accurate but I think it’s fun LOL)

⁃ Dethnarak tends to avoid alcohol, as he both doesn’t enjoy most of it but also is uncertain as to the effect it may have on him in larger quantities.Some worm-descending bugnarak are incapable of getting drunk and find health benefits to drinking it, and others are highly sensitive to it and can do major damage to their nervous systems when partaking. If he drinks at all, it’s usually a glass of expensive smoked mezcal tequila on the rocks. (See again cursory google search at the effect alcohol can have on earth worms, also the joke of worms being in mezcal lol)

⁃ Iroki, Nephila, and Karras have girls nights in hakabaka whenever they feel like having a little fun. Given its hakabaka, they can really have whatever they want, but iroki tends towards a very sharp Namazake sake like she drank made from the rice grown by the dybowskis, nephila a deep dry red wine like an aged Cabernet Sauvignon, and karras a nice bourbon brûlée like she’d have to keep warm and cozy in gokkan. They get as pleasantly drunk as they wish, no matter how much they drink. Their nights are always fun and maybe… occasionally involve some spice.

⁃ Akka likes a good IPA and will often bring a case of somethin new to try to hang outs with the nkosopa gang. He doesn’t drink a lot in general and tends not to get drunk just by preference.

⁃ Mayuta LOVES coming up with new fruity and sour cocktails with shiokara, but also really loves a good IPA like Akka since he keeps bringing them to hang outs. She gets tipsy at parties but isn’t crazy about being drunk either. She just likes to have fun :)

⁃ Asuba drinks a lot of seltzer drinks, basically whatever nkosopas version of white claws and trulys are. He’s happy to drink whatever Yanma and shio are supplying as long as it’s not his shitty watery beer, though. He likes a good party and drinks a decent amount while gaming with the rest of the squad. He’s definitely a goofy/clumsy drunk, telling a lot of jokes but tripping over his words and himself.

⁃ Bonus: Grub! - grub kinda drinks whatever’s put in front of him and has a surprisingly high alcohol tolerance. A lot of people think he’s a bit of a pothead but he doesn’t actually smoke or do edibles as he’s not a fan of feeling high. He can be a bit of a sad drunk, so he’s grateful to have a higher tolerance to keep himself in check, but he’s still a big softie caretaker at heart and will help clean up after parties with shiokara if he’s sober enough to do so, otherwise he tends to fall asleep easily past a certain point and he’s a VERY heavy sleeper lmao. His favorite drinks are margaritas and lemon drop shots, anything sour!

[thegirloffans]

My WF Heavy/Lightweight HC's

Alright, I have Wakanda Forever brain rot especially with my concept of my new Found Family Hyperfixation and the Wakandans wanting to show the Talokan Trio the ways of surface dwellers.

This is my idea of them under the influence 🙂

Riri❤️: Starting off, I know in the movie Riri is 19 but come on you guys, we all had a drink or two in college bffr..., the point is to not get caught.... That being said, M'Baku, Okoye, and Nakia would most definitely be on little girl duty and watch Riri like a hawk to make sure she's not drinking behind their backs. (of course she is, and Shuri and Aneka are the ones slipping her a shot or two here and there 🤭she appreciates their bravery and sacrifice). She would get herself into trouble by masking her intoxication as best as she can, but her dead giveaway would be the goofy grin on her face and her never-ending chatter. She would just talktalktalktalktalktalktalktalkTALK and then Okoye would pull her to herself and smell the liquor on her breath, leading to her AND Shuri being cut off for the night...

Shuri🐈‍⬛: I can see her not really liking drinking because she always likes to be focused and aware. Even when she's hanging out with friends, she doesn't necessarily need a drink to have a good time but bc everyone else is having a glass or two, she doesn't see the harm in it. WRONG. Princess Shuri of Wakanda is a lightweight to the fullest. Give her a White Claw or two and she'll be out like a light. She would definitely be a flirty drunk, like we all already know she has a sense of superiority and pride, so her being under the influence would definitely bring out her cocky side, and she would shock everyone at how she equally goes after both men and women. and the kicker is that she would only do like little playful flirtatious teasing with her friends, and they all know not to take her seriously, but she seems to do it with everyone BUT Namor. He's sick about it lol it really hurts his feelings...

Okoye👩🏾‍🦲: Again, not really a drinker but due to experience and life in general, Okoye is actually quite the heavyweight. She prefers a nice sparkling wine or maybe a merlot, or red wine bc it definitely mellows her out. She can be sedated on about 3-4 glasses but when she's had a rough day, that woman can take an entire bottle to the head and still be asking for more. Now when going out, especially with Aneka, Okoye doesn't really have much of a choice but to take a few shots to get the party going (and to keep up with her energetic friend). Wine never really has the effect on her like straight liquor does, but when she's well inebriated, the woman is a TALKER. She's the kind of drunk where if you were ever wondering what she really thought about you, give her a few shots and she'll tell you. That's why she never messes with the stuff! She gets all sentimental and emotional, telling her closest friends just how much they mean to her in a way that makes her subconscious self squirm! And Bast forbid Attuma is around bc then things start to get interesting...

Nakia💚: She's actually quite in the middle! Depending on the alcohol content and ingredients is a huge factor on when the spy chooses to cut herself off. She's had tastings of different mixtures from all around the world and sometimes can be alright from a single cup or will find herself pouring up all night long. How she knows that she's proper drunk is when she starts to slur her words and stumble. It takes a while for it to travel through her body so Nakia always finds herself having her drunkenness sneak up on her. And when it hits, it HITS. She finds it hard to keep her body upright and when she tries to speak, it sounds like alphabet soup to her ears, so she mainly just stays quiet and only reacts with facial expressions or laughter. Usually, M'Baku or Okoye are the ones to carry her back home 😅

Ayo😶: Ah yes, the quiet one out of the group. Well give this lady a few drinks and watch that cold exterior melt away! Just like Nakia, she has a pretty average tolerance, only needing about a good number of drinks, whatever they may be, to get her wasted. She still remains pretty quiet when she's drunk, but everyone will start to notice that when she is, she gets really touchy. Aneka notices as soon as she feels her wife's body pressed against her backside, warm hands sliding around her stomach to hold her close. Ayo is all strict and expressionless, but when she's drunk, it seems like her entire being has been cracked open and is exposed for Aneka and Aneka only to see. She never has eyes for anyone but her beloved as she hangs herself over her lover the entire night, never taking her hands off of her.

Aneka😁: Quite the opposite of her wife in every aspect, Aneka is the Leader of The Lightweights. She's a delusional one too, because if it wasn't for her wife or Okoye, she would drink herself into a coma. She thinks she's a heavyweight but gets a heated blush across her brown skin after just 2 shots. Get her started off the Henny and this woman becomes a personified Energizer Bunny; dancing, talking, socializing with just about everyone in the club, eating everything in sight, taking more shots- she's just the grind that won't stop! She knows it's time to wind down when she feels her wife's hands on her more than usual, leaning into the woman's touch and letting her lover's presence calm her down. A few touches and kisses later and they're definitely the couple who leaves early to go fuck.✌🏾

Namora🧡: Oh man...first of all, in Talokan, Namora is considered a heavyweight. She can even outdrink Ku'Kul'Kan which is a fact that burns the older man up... but surface world liquor puts her on her ASS. The first time they went out with the Wakandans, they shared some kind of alcohol containing "sugar cane" as they called it and Namora was expecting it to taste sweet, but not only did it not, but it seemed to have no flavor at all. The next thing she knew, she was singing pop songs at the TOP of her lungs, hanging out the window of Riri's very red and loud vehicle as they sat in the parking lot together. She laughed along with the young girl and enjoyed the feeling of fuzzy emptiness in her mind. All she was focused on was having a good time and concentrating on not throwing up in her new friend's pretty car...

Namor🐉: The Feathered Serpent God of Talokan...can't hold his liquor for shit lol. Not in Talokan and definitely not on the surface. He actually doesn't even like the taste of alcohol; it burns going down and always leaves him with a nasty hangover the next day, so he usually stays away from the stuff. But of course...not being one to show weakness (and also trying to impress the Princess) he takes each shot or drink handed to him to the head. He's actually good at masking his inebriation, his only dead giveaway being the rosy red tips of his ears and wide blush across his cheeks. It's also super cute to everyone how he will just get fed up with fumbling around walking and start to hover around instead. He's also an honorary member of the Chaos Clan along with Aneka, Riri, M'Baku, and Attuma so more than likely if everyone starts drinking and hears something break, you will see those little winged feet getting tf out of there.

Attuma🦈: If anybody's the heavyweight champion of the group, it's good ol' Sharkboy himself. He's the same as Namora in Talokan, being deemed a very heavy drinker, but where they differ is that he can also hold his own against surface world concoctions. Liquor, wine, spirits, seltzers- it almost seems like you have to drown this man in a tub of alcohol before he starts feeling the effects. Literally the only person out of the group that can rival him, is M'Baku and they have many drinking contests between themselves to see who is the one and only true Heavyweight Drinking Champion of them all. They always end up tied up 🙂Now even if Attuma does find himself pretty under the influence, he is definitely a flirt just like Shuri. He's actually almost gotten close to getting the shit beat out of him because the Princess would come up to him and start playfully flirting with the man and he would simply match her energy! But one look from his God King from across the room has him deterring the Princesses' teasing (that TikTok sound: "let me stop playing around before I get my ass delt with" 💀) but that only makes her call over Okoye, the Talokanilian warrior growing rigid as his crush glides her way over to him...

M'Baku🦍: This man is definitely one to hold his liquor down, okay? He can keep going all night long (👀...) and almost seems to have no stopping point. We've all seen how this man acts on a regular day, just know that when he starts drinking, that boisterous, prideful, enthusiasm gets cranked up to 100. Just like Aneka, he is a force that can't be stopped, dancing with all the pretty ladies on the dance floor and letting them marvel and gush at his outstanding display of raw masculinity. I don't care what anybody says, I know for a fact this man is leaving the club with at least two beautiful women on each arm by the end of the night.

Ross🕶️: You know we gotta include our token white boy! This man worked for the CIA, I think by now he would work up quite a tolerance for alcohol (especially after being married to that witch...). It actually surprises the group that after watching their tiny friend down drink after drink, he's still standing! The girls would be cheering him on to keep going and take as many shots as he can and not wanting to be the one to disappoint, he keeps throwing back shots like it's nothing. Now out of everybody in their group, no one has the cutest drunk blush like Ross. He's white lol so of course his entire face all the way down to his neck is flushed. He definitely seems like a silly drunk to me, cracking jokes and telling stories to everyone and even though he tries to keep the Chaos Clan from doing any further damage, someway somehow he finds himself in the midst of their misdeeds lol.

So those are my headcannons of my WF Friend Group when they're loaded!

Thanks!✌🏾🙂

[femboycatofmystery]

So my post about how you should draw (YOU SHOULD DRAW!) blew up beyond any precedent since my return to tumblr and someone in the FRANKLY KIND OF TERRIFYING NUMBER OF REBLOGS mentioned downloading a free DAW to make music and that got me thinking,

HOBBY SOFTWARE MEGAPOST GO

All of the below software is free to use, and most of it is Open Source (which is its own thing I recommend learning about, its entire existence and success gives me hope for humanity) so GO GET SOME TOOLS! Make things like nobody's watching and then SHOW IT TO THEM ANYWAY! Or don't! Even if you hide your work from the world (lord knows I do!!!) you will have created something! And it feels amazing to create something!

VISUAL ARTS:

Inkscape: Adobe Illustrator replacement, pretty solid if a bit quirky.

Krita: Painting software, if anything slightly overpowered and sometimes more complicated than you want, but can do bloody anything including advanced color management. A wonderful tool.

Blender: You have probably heard it is super hard to use. This is CONDITIONALLY true. Because the developers are working day and night to improve everything about it it's always getting better and now like, 80% of the hardness is just because 3D is hard. Aside: Blender Grease Pencil - A subsystem in Blender is concerned with 2D animation and it is. Surprisingly good. Some annoying conventions but totally possible to literally make professional traditional 2D animation.

MUSIC:

LMMS: A free and open source DAW that can do a lot, except use most modern VST plugins. The practical upshot of this is that if you are just starting out with music it is totally serviceable but over time you might start to long for something with the ability to load hella plugins. (I'm currently trying out Reaper which has a long free trial and is technically nagware after that point...)

PlugData: You GOTTA TRY THIS, it's not mentally for everyone (not HARD exactly, just WEIRD) but if your brain works well with this kind of flow graph stuff it's a magical playground of music. (If you have heard of PureData, PlugData is based on it but has a lot of nice graphical upgrades and can work as a VST if you have a proper DAW)

Surge XT: A big ol' synthesizer plugin that also can run standalone and take midi input so you can technically use it to make music even if you don't have a DAW. If planning notes ahead of time sounds intimidating, but you can get your hands on a midi piano controller, this might actually be a great way to start out playing with music on your computer!

Bespoke Synth: Another open source DAW, but this one is... sort of exploded? Like PlugData you patch things together with cables but it has a wild electrified aesthetic and it can do piano rolls. Fun though!

GAME DEV:

Yeah that's right, game dev. You ABSOLUTELY can make video games with no experience or ability to code. I actually recommend video games as a way to learn how to code because the dopamine hits from making a character bumble around on a screen are enormously bigger than like. Calculating pi or something boring like that. ANYWAY:

Twine: Twine is what I might describe as sort of a zero-barrier game dev tool because you're literally writing a story except you can make it branch. It has programming features but you can sort of pick them up as you go. Lowest possible barrier to entry, especially if you write!

Godot: I use this engine all the time! It's got great tutorials all over the internet and is 100% FREE AND ALWAYS WILL BE. Technically there are more Unity tutorials out there, but Godot has plenty enough to learn how to do things. It's also SUPER LIGHTWEIGHT so you won't spend your precious hobby time waiting for the engine to load. There are absolutely successful games made with this but I think the best thing about it is that the shallow end of the learning curve is PRETTY OK ACTUALLY.

[disgruntled-lifeform]

Here we go, fibre haul! You guys ready?

So all of these lovely bits of floof were purchased from The Fiber Imp.

The owner is so nice, I thought I'd give them a little shout out so you guys can buy any floof you like the look of here:

Most of the nerdy stuff I am sourcing my info from is a site called NWyarns.com which has great indepth info in the histories of many breeds of sheep and how they became the sheep we have today.

If I grab info from another website then I'll mention it specifically but otherwise this all comes from NWyarns.

Now let's dig in shall we?

First up, we have Rocky Mountain Skies

This one is commercially dyed and all 100% merino.

Domesticated in Mesopotamia sometime between 11,000 and 9,000 BCE

If you were not select royalty you were pretty much out of luck – there were no legitimate ways for the average sheep farmer to get a prized Merino ram or ewe until about the first decade into the 1800s. However, there were certainly illegitimate ways. Paying someone to smuggle Merino sheep out of Spain offered the chance of a prized ram or ewe. Certainly that is how the U.K. acquired their first Merino sheep (4 rams and 2 ewes), which Sir Robert Banks paid some enterprising business person to smuggle out of Spain via Portugal.

However, more often than not, it appears that the people purchasing Merinos through less than legitimate means during this time frame were either getting scammed or simply provided with any Spanish sheep that smugglers could manage to get out of Spain.

Merino is renowned for its fineness and elasticity, which can be made into woven, knitted, crocheted or felted wool fabrics that can be very comfortably worn directly against the skin. Merino is graded to a variety of micron widths including Superfine (17.6-18.5 microns), Fine or Extrafine (18.6-19.5 microns), Fine Medium (19.6-20.5 microns) and Medium (20.6-22.5 microns). Unless otherwise specified, you will find that most merino available in commercial clothing and most yarns is in the Fine Medium to Medium range. However, even though the Fine Medium and Medium Merino is the most common, it is by no means coarse! 22.5 microns is still quite fine, and extremely comfortable to wear directly against your skin.

Next up is Spellbound

75% 18.5 Micron Merino / 25% Mulberry Silk

This next bit of info comes from Casper.com:

Mulberry silk comes from the Morus Alba tree.

Originating in China over 5,000 years ago, “sericulture” is the ancient process of spinning silk.

Mulberry silk is made from the cocoon of the Bombyx mori moth. Before metamorphosis, the caterpillar feeds exclusively on the white mulberry leaf.

Smoother and stronger than any other silk in the world, mulberry silk is a textile powerhouse. Famous for its durability and lightweight quality, mulberry silk is able to retain up to a third of its weight in moisture. Because of this, it doesn’t emit a smell when damp and doesn’t need to be left out to dry for a long amount of time, making it relatively easy to manage.

Au Naturel

Undyed blend of superfine merino, dark brown alpaca, mulberry silk and baby camel.

Alpaca:

Alpacas are in the camelid family -- the same biological family as camels and llamas.  

Although they can be found around the world today, alpacas originated in the Andes mountain range of South America. They are descended from vicuña, a wild camelid native to South America, in the Andes mountain range.  The domestication of the alpaca for fiber and meat began up to 6000 years ago, with the people who lived in the Andes.

Alpaca hairs are hollow, making it a go-to fiber for crafters and manufacturers who are looking for softness with superior insulating properties. It is also surprisingly strong for such a soft, fluffy fiber.

Alpaca fiber comes in various qualities, ranging from fibers nearly as soft and luxurious as cashmere to lower quality fibers with a similar texture to fine wool. Most yarn and spinning fiber available relies on the high quality, fine alpaca. It is more difficult to find coarser alpaca, as there is little demand for it in North America. Alpaca is also hypoallergenic, making it very popular for people with skin sensitivities.

This next bit is from SpinoffMagazine regarding the Bactrian camel:

Bactrian camels have two humps and are found primarily in Mongolia and China.

Bactrians are the source for the soft down we associate with fine camel hair garments. Their fiber naturally sheds and can be combed away or gathered as it falls.

While the website for the Cashmere and Camel Hair Manufacturers states that Bactrian camels produce as much as 17 to 22 pounds of fiber annually, other sources cite amounts as low as 5 pounds. The higher amounts probably include both hair and down.

The outer coat and mane hair is long (12 inches or more) and coarse. It protects the animal from the elements, shedding dirt and water. The fine undercoat is much shorter, averaging 1 to 5 inches long, although it usually measures less than 3 inches in length. Some of the fiber shortness in commercial camel preparations may result from the dehairing process. The micron counts (fiber diameter) for camel fiber have a huge range. While the down averages 20 to 23 microns (similar to Merino wool), it can be as fine as the finest cashmere.

Samples from some United States Bactrian camel hair that had all the outer coat fibers removed ranged from 6 to 120 microns, with most of the sample measuring 18 to 19 microns. Camel hair has some crimp and a small amount of elasticity.

When working with the fiber in batt form (a cloud of carded fiber), I simply peel off thin layers of fiber.

Rovings (strands of carded fiber with a small amount of twist) and top (strands of long fibers in parallel arrangement) require no further preparation although they are sometimes easier to spin when split into narrower strips.

Because the camel fiber is short, thin strands of roving or top will probably drift apart if you try to predraft. You can also prepare for a lightweight yarn by handcarding the down fiber from any form into rolags.

This next bit of fibre is what pulled me into the shop in the first place, Dragon's Breath

Bamboo:

In the late 19th century, the first semi-synthetic fiber in history was invented – viscose rayon! Known as artificial silk until its rebranding as rayon in 1924, rayon has become a significant part of our fiber landscape.

In the yarn and fiber world, we most frequently run into rayon when it is labeled as bamboo or viscose.

More recently, you can also buy viscose rayon labeled as rose fiber (having been sourced from the cellulose of rose bushes), or even purchase viscose rayon fiber that comes from seaweed.

While these fibers are often advertised as eco-friendly because they come from plants, that is not necessarily the case.

It has had a history of adverse health effects on the workers involved in its manufacture right up to the present day.

A short and somewhat abbreviated version of viscose rayon production goes something like this.

All rayon begins with pure cellulose. This cellulose is treated with a caustic soda, and goes through a number of curing processes and chemical treatments, including a process called Xanthanation in which it is mixed with carbon disulfide. The resulting material is dried and ground into a powder, and is dissolved in yet another caustic solution to form the viscose, the viscous solution from which viscose rayon receives its name. Allowed to stand for a period of time, the viscose solution is strained and then extruded through spinnerets, which land in a bath of sulfuric acid, forming rayon fiber. The fiber is then washed to remove any residual chemicals and make it safe for the wearer.

By the time rayon fiber and fabric hits the market, there are no traces of any chemicals that could harm the person wearing it. The same can’t necessarily be said for the factory workers, either in the past or today.

They go into more detail if you want to dig in further but I will need to research more myself before I commit to further bamboo purchases.

I will continue this in part 2!

[dandelionsandderivatives]

Advice on finishing seams without a serger?

I don’t really want to own a serger and I feel like they’re fairly recent machines anyway. There must be a better way to finish seams?

For my skirt I just turned the fabric twice and hemmed so it would be a nice finished edge. The issue is that then when I attached two seams, the poor needles had to go through 6 layers of fabric and sometimes I was at a corner and they had to go through so much it didn’t fit under the foot. There must be something I’m missing because this wasn’t even a thick fabric.

HALP PLS!!! 😭😭

Hello! I'm so sorry for the late response; I've had a few disruptions to my regular schedule in the last few weeks, and I wanted to give this a good, long, thorough answer. You absolutely don't need a serger; I'm pretty sure my grandmother has never owned one, and she's still wearing things she made back in the early 90s. I'm not as good a needlewoman as she is, but most of my stuff has held up at least as well as its storebought equivalent.

(Probably) the easiest and simplest option is just to zigzag over the edges of your fabric with a sewing machine. A serger essentially rolls sewing the seam, trimming seam allowances, and zigzagging/overcasting into one step. Depending on what you're making, you might want to trim seam allowances after sewing the seam, and then zigzag over the raw edges, or, if you've got a lot of short seams that won't fit nicely under the machine after you've sewn them, you should be able to zigzag over the raw edge of the fabric before you sew the seam. (The issue with the second option is that you'll have the full seam allowance left in there, but if you're doing that sort of precision piecing I expect the seam allowance will be narrow enough that it doesn't matter.) This doesn't necessarily have to be a zigzag stitch proper; my mother's machine does a finishing stitch that looks a bit like a blanket stitch, and I've seen other variations. But practically every machine made after 1970 or so has a zigzag, so you'll probably have the equipment to do it. The key part is that you want to catch the edge of the fabric inside the stitch, so that the stitching thread is binding the last few threads of the fabric together.

The hand-sewing equivalent to this is whipping (whipstitching) the edge of your fabric with needle and thread. I generally don't put my handmade clothes through the dryer, but all of the ones I've finished with this method have been fine in the washing machine. Most of them have survived at least one trip through the dryer unscathed. I suppose you could also do a blanket stitch, but that seems like an unnecessary amount of work.

Other methods:

Seam binding: I haven't personally tried this one. It's usually used for heavier fabrics that won't be lined (a single-layer blazer or skirt, etc). I'm sure it has other applications, but I haven't seen it often.

Pinking: This is the old-school way to finish seams. I haven't really tried it myself.

French seams: These are annoying to do on a curve and can add a good amount of bulk, but they're a very clean finish. Usually used on lingerie and other lightweight fabrics (doing this in coating weight sounds like a nightmare but also a really good high fashion concept).

Flat-felled seams: This is the way the inside of your jeans is finished. Historically it was often used for shirts, shifts, and other high-wear areas where you wanted to avoid chafing. It's somewhat similar to the French seam.

All right, now for Sewing Confessions: I'm pretty lazy when it comes to finishing my seams. I started sewing with historical stuff that wouldn't get washed super often and vintage dresses, all in quilting calico. (This is generally a bad idea but for some very specific eras of fashion it can work.) My most-washed historical piece was probably my chemise, which was sewn from old sheets. I didn't bother to do much finishing on any of these, partly because I didn't know how, and partly because I didn't really want to flat-fell all the seams in my chemise if nobody was going to see it. (Now that I'm thinking about it, I may actually have flat-felled most of my first chemise. I made a second one fairly quickly.) The other fabric I worked in was cotton flannel for nightwear.

With all of these pieces, the fabric began to wear out/get shabby long before the seam allowances frayed enough to make anything structurally unsound. I have popped a few stitches here and there which could have been saved by a more robust seam, but in general I didn't have many problems. Once I was sewing in nicer fabrics (silk and rayon, especially), I started to have issues with seam finishing. So far, simple hand-overcasting has stood up well for most of these. My usual sewing machine is straight-stitch only, so zig-zagging hasn't been an option for most of these. They've held up fine so far.

Maybe if I got some really nice fabrics, it would be a different story; I'm not telling you not to finish your seams! But bargain-bin cotton flannel, in my experience, wears out too quickly to make conscientious finishing worth it. Don't stress too much about it! I'd advise, from what little I've seen of your sewing posts, to stick to a good zigzag, or whatever finishing stitch on your machine looks interesting. If you want to be strictly historical, try pinking or flat-felling, depending on era and context. When you make some really nice sheer blouses, then maybe pull out the French seams. When you're doing a pair of wool trousers, try seam-binding tape. Go forth and sew boldly!

[apureniallsource]

When you’ve been in one of the biggest boybands in the world, figuring out what life looks like afterwards is no easy feat, especially when it encompassed some of your most formative years. For Niall Horan, though, it seems all too easy. He still lives the pop star life with a sold-out set of shows coming up next year, a whole host of festival performances lined up this summer, and an album that hit number one in the UK just a few weeks ago. Yet off-stage, he’s calm, carefree and so down to Earth that you might not even realise what he does for a living.

If Niall’s work life is about the biggest stages, biggest shows and biggest songs, Niall’s life at home is all about indulging in simple pleasures. Whether it’s bingeing a Netflix true crime series, lighting candles to make hotel rooms feel a bit more like home, or hopping from the gym to the golf course, he keeps himself grounded with a balanced routine and a low-maintenance lifestyle. It’s the perfect antithesis to celebrity life, and it’s helped him maintain the chilled-out vibe that he’s been known for since he was 16.

He might have just been about to fly to LA, but when we speak to Niall he’s as relaxed as they come. He’s still got yesterday’s hair (he proudly shows us how it’s still holding its volume), and he’s lounging in his living room in his gym clothes…

Let’s start with your dressing room. At this point in your career you’re used to being dressed, but how would you describe your own style when you’re at home?

I’d say I’ve got two different styles. One is very casual — I love street and sportswear — and then the other is very influenced by the 1950s and Sinatra. There’s a lot of collars, pressed trousers, penny loafers and that kind of thing. I like putting a modern twist on those old styles, whether that’s adding a more utilitarian jacket or whatever it might be. There’s a touch of ‘90s in there as well.

What about hero pieces?

I just got this vintage army green Gucci coat that’s very militaristic. I’m saving that for something good - can’t just walk to the shop in vintage Gucci, can you? I’m wearing this other, more casual coat at the moment, it’s a big green oversized bomber from Second/Layer. That’s been my go-to. Green goes with most things, so I’ve been wearing that a lot. I try and lean away from it, being Irish, but sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

I’m big on Reebok Classics. I buy like three or four pairs at a time and just wear them until they get destroyed. They look better the worse they get but there’s a point where it’s like, okay, you might just need to get a new pair of shoes now…

Vintage Levi’s jeans are a big one. I get them online from a place called the 13 Club. Lots of straight-leg denim going on for me at the moment, 505s or 501s. I'm also big into — whether people agree with it or not — double denim. I have this vintage Ralph Lauren denim shirt and I like that with a white T-shirt and some matching jeans. The Canadian tuxedo! I’ve been doing a lot of that.

You’re very into golf. What does your golfwear looking like?

I’ve been trying to '50s up that a little bit too, wearing a slack rather than a golf trouser and a shirt with a bit of that old-school two-tone to it. I say that…I also have a lot of the classic gear that I just throw on because no one’s going to see me on the golf course. I often think that, I overthink what I’m going to wear and then I don’t see anyone for four hours.

For general workouts, I’m obviously a brand advisor and investor for the Irish brand Gym+Coffee. I’m a big fan of all their workout tops, I’m not good on materials but they’re easy to wear and nice and light. They just go with everything. All their shorts are really comfy too, really lightweight stuff that’s easy to wear in the gym. Nothing worse than some of that heavier stuff where you’re sweating out and it’s definitely not pleasant to feel in or to look at.

Moving onto the bathroom and grooming… what’s your routine there?

Yes! My forté! Firstly, I came across these things on Amazon. My groomer showed me them. The orbs that you put in the freezer and use with serum. I just love them! Genetically, I get dark [under]eyes and it’s crazy how good they are. I’ve never had anything work but ice is the answer, it turns out.

Sarah Chapman is the brand I’ve been buzzing about for a couple of years. I do an eye cream, a spray, an intense hydrating serum, moisturiser and SPF — the old Irish skin can’t handle any kind of ray, so that’s a must. I’ve got to watch myself even in the winter. For the evening I’m doing retinol, moisturiser and then a face oil. That keeps me glowing. I do a lot of face masks, I don’t even know if any of this stuff works I just love doing it.

Shampoo is Philip Kingsley. I’ve stopped using conditioner as much but I use a Redken clay to style and a matte paste. I use the Dyson hairdryer — make sure you put that in block capitals and tell them they can send me whatever they want — I absolutely love it. And for aftershaves, it’s Le Labo.

Moving into the kitchen, do you cook much when you’re at home. Do you have a go-to gadget?

I have a Nespresso coffee machine. I kick things off in the morning with an espresso, then the late afternoon coffee is an oat latte or an Americano, it depends on what buzz I need. I don’t get too LA on it. Out there you hear all sorts of stuff…“choco-loco-choco-mocho”. Just drink it, will you?

I do cook a lot. When I’m at home I try and cook for myself but keep it relatively healthy, so I end up doing a lot of Mediterranean-style stuff — salads, chicken, couscous, all that kind of stuff — nothing too complicated until the weekend. I’m no Stanley Tucci.

On a Sunday we’re always doing a Sunday roast. Roast chicken, parsnips, cheesy leeks, cauliflower cheese, potatoes. Love a Sunday roast, it’s my favourite thing. I also make this really simple Italian dish that’s just so good. It’s fried garlic, chilli, onion, squashed tomatoes, spaghetti, smoked bacon and a whole block of parmesan cheese. I don’t even know what it’s called but it’s just magic, it’s just what you want. If I’m in on a Saturday night, that’s what I’m making.

Let’s think about unwinding before bed. What helps you out there?

Candles, always. I always have a candle with me, particularly Diptyque Fig and Oud. I usually like softer fragrances: Le Labo Santal is also a favourite. I actually travel with candles - hotel rooms, dressing rooms, just to give them a homely feel. The only problem with that being that once you blow it out you have to sit around and wait for it to dry before shoving it back in your bag.

I always listen to green noise before bed. When I concentrate on that I can just doze right off, and I do a pre-bed face mask every two or three nights. And I do watch a lot of TV in bed… which is not good. It’s always ‘oh just one more episode’ and then before you know it it’s half one in the morning. I love ‘24 Hours in Police Custody’. We watch a lot of true crime and all those American Netflix series. Name it, we’ve seen it.

Thinking about your living room, what do you do to unwind there of an evening or afternoon?

There’s a piano in the living room and I spend a lot of time with that. That’s where I do a lot of writing. I wrote probably a third of my new album on that piano, sat at home during the lockdown. There’s a guitar on a stand next to it and sometimes I’ll wander over there when I’m half watching TV. I’ve got a Fender Telecaster and a Gibson 335 that I play a lot, a big old red thing. My acoustic is from an Irish brand called Lowden, myself and Lewis [Capaldi] went to their factory on our Amazon show, and I’ve been into them for eight or nine years. Maybe I need a green one…I’ll be a walking leprechaun in no time.

I listen to a lot of music; I’ve got this big JBL boombox, it’s class. It’s got a big handle on it and I take it everywhere. I’ve also got a vinyl player, I listen to a lot of vinyl. People are always asking me what I’m listening to at the moment and it’s never anything new. It’s always the old stuff that I just love…in fact, I just rotate the same fifteen or so vinyls. Old head, young shoulders, I suppose.