#light bulb jokes

[puppetmaker40]

Because there is never enough light bulb jokes

[godhi]

A Bright Idea

How many Dwarves does it take to change a light bulb?

Sane people will never ask that question. Ask a Dwarf to change a light bulb--and the Dwarf will take one look at the burned-out bulb and believe they can invent something much, much better.

Not only will the new and improved light bulb never burn out, but it will be bright enough to be used as a replacement bulb for a good-sized lighthouse. It can miraculously be used as a replacement build for any vacuum tube ever invented for vintage radio or television sets--or for any electronic device, for that matter--but generates brilliant illumination in the infrared and ultraviolet frequencies. Last but not least, the new and improved light bulb is completely shatter-proof and cool to the touch, and may be safely handled with bare hands--although humans are advised to use lead-lined gloves for their own safety.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

How many Libras it takes to screw in a light bulb?

Whenever I hear these jokes I think of one time I'd neglected my chores and my roommate asked, "Hey Ari, how many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?" He knew I was Jewish and he was not antisemitic or anything so I asked, "How many?" And he replied, "Just one so I don't know who the fuck else you're waiting for."

It takes 3 Libras though if the lightbulb is perfectly circular in shape.

[jokingluna]

Happy April Fool's Day! Had a bit of trouble finding a good joke for this year. Apologies for getting it posted late.

[tsbs-shipfessions]

Eclipse x Eclipse x Eclipse x Eclipse...

How many Eclipse's does it take for the Anon's wishes to be satisfied? Who knows...

[mswyrr]

Chapters: 1/4 Fandom: The Bear (TV 2022) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto & Natalie "Sugar" Berzatto, Natalie "Sugar" Berzatto/Pete, Sydney Adamu/Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto Characters: Natalie "Sugar" Berzatto, Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto, Pete (The Bear TV 2022), Sydney Adamu Additional Tags: Mental Health Issues, Recovery, adult children of alcoholics, Dysfunctional Family Series: Part 2 of sydcarmy s3 au Summary:

Sideways sequel to "Before the Dawn," Nat POV.

Nat's brother comes to her for help and everything changes.

[dollfairy]

It's really hard to get over the childhood wound of "no one believes me or listens to me so I can't trust anyone or go to anyone for support and therefore have to handle everything myself" when that shit is still happening to me as an adult in my 30s lol

[euesworld]

"Screw Botox, I inject garlic into my lips so the vampires never forget me.. I mean, my lips are fire but if you burst into flames from kissing me then that's not ecstasy."

Women are always telling me they can't put their finger on it but something about me makes them think that I am Italian, haha.. my girl does the opposite, she puts cocaine on her lips to keep me addicted and I am just like damn girl, are you a snow angel? - eUë

[kandidandi]

I know the risks but I'm willing to take it for the funny

do it then

[lady-silver-ice]

Ultra mega challenge mode. It also has a metal cover on top that you have to unscrew to access the light bulb. We gave up.

asking for advice on reddit.com

[sweetlog]

Therapy as a Guide, Not a Fix: The Role of Motivation in Personal Transformation

When it comes to personal transformation, many people think of therapy as a solution that will "fix" their problems, as if a therapist holds a magical key to unlock a new version of themselves. While therapy is a powerful tool for healing and growth, it’s important to understand that change doesn’t come from the therapist—it comes from within. As the saying goes, "How many therapists does it take to change the light bulb? One, but the light bulb should want to change first."

This playful joke holds a deep truth: a therapist can guide you, but real change only happens when you're motivated and ready to make it happen. Understanding the role of motivation in personal transformation is key to getting the most out of therapy, and ultimately, your life.

Therapy as a Collaborative Process

Therapy isn’t about a therapist “fixing” you. It’s a collaborative process where the therapist offers guidance, tools, and insight, while you do the hard work of self-reflection and change. A therapist can help you identify patterns, explore your emotions, and challenge your beliefs, but they can’t do the work for you. You are the one who must want to change.

Imagine therapy as a road map: the therapist is like a guide showing you potential paths, but you are the one who needs to walk down the road. Without your motivation, the map is just paper, and the journey will never begin.

The Importance of Internal Motivation

One of the reasons therapy works is that it taps into your internal motivation to change. If you don’t have the desire to transform, therapy will likely feel frustrating and unproductive. Internal motivation is what drives lasting change, whether it’s overcoming anxiety, improving relationships, or developing better coping skills.

People often come to therapy during a time of crisis, believing that if they just sit in the room and talk, their problems will be solved. But the real work happens between sessions—when you apply what you’ve learned, confront uncomfortable truths, and take action. Without the motivation to change, therapy becomes little more than a conversation.

Why Change Can Be So Hard

Understanding the importance of motivation makes it clear why change can be so hard for many people. We may know what we need to do—whether it’s leaving a toxic relationship, changing careers, or adopting healthier habits—but actually doing it requires a deep commitment. Often, fear, comfort zones, or self-doubt hold us back.

That’s where therapy plays a crucial role. A good therapist helps you explore these fears, build resilience, and connect with your internal desire for growth. They can help you remove the barriers to change, but they can’t make you take the first step. That comes from your willingness to embrace discomfort and lean into the unknown.

What You Can Expect From Therapy

If you approach therapy with the understanding that it’s a partnership, rather than a fix, you’ll see greater results. Here’s what you can expect:

Self-awareness: Therapy will help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. With that awareness comes the power to make new choices, but only if you're ready to act on it.

Tools and Strategies: A therapist will provide you with strategies to manage stress, anxiety, or relationship challenges. These tools can only be effective if you’re willing to implement them in your daily life.

Insight into Patterns: Many of us are stuck in cycles that feel impossible to break. Therapy can help you recognize those patterns, but breaking them requires your active participation.

Accountability: Your therapist will hold you accountable for the goals you set, but at the end of the day, accountability starts with you. You have to want to change and be willing to take responsibility for your progress.

The Power of Wanting to Change

Real, lasting change comes from the inside out. While external circumstances may push you toward therapy, the decision to transform must come from your own desire for a better life. A therapist can illuminate the path, but only you can walk it.

When you’re truly ready to change, therapy becomes a powerful tool for personal transformation. With motivation as your fuel and your therapist as your guide, you can achieve profound growth, overcome obstacles, and move toward a more fulfilling life. So, if you’re thinking about therapy, remember: the key to success is not just the therapist you choose, but how much you want to turn that light bulb on.

Understanding that therapy is a guide, not a fix, shifts the focus of personal transformation back to where it belongs—within you. When you take responsibility for your own growth and remain open to change, that’s when the real transformation begins.

[voidthewanderer]

Mother there is a reason why I asked you to just put the box of lightbulbs on the stairs and I would bring them up when I got home. I knew what was on my desk. You really didn’t need to go in my room while I had dicks all over my desk. You really didn’t. 🥲🥲🥲🥲

[killbaned]

the chicken is in the oven. i was originally going to just. use butter and salt because i'm scared if i use my seasonings it's going to make the gastritis go sicko mode but i can't. i can't fucking make bare seasonless chicken i can't FUCKING DO IT i'd rather starve.

i did, however, select only three seasonings (basil, parsley, poultry) out of the mix along w sea salt and butter so we'll see what happens.

i bought myself some of those knock off gluten free thin mints when i did my errands monday so i just munched on some of those for a sugar boost bc once again. i did not eat anything before i left the house.

in my defense, i literally couldn't have eaten even if someone tried to force me bc The Gastritis Is Gassing.

and also speaking of food regarding mom, she also said the food at the new rehab is decent. hospital food will never be "good" and her lunch came while i was there and their version of scalloped potatoes looked dry as fuck but i also asked if she wants me to bring leftovers when i come tomorrow and she said no since the food is good enough so that's also nice.

it's nice because these are all things that led to her flipping out repeatedly until she finally went AMA last time.

it's also nice because i feel like i can unclench a little and relax and not obsessively sit on my phone waiting for her to call losing her fucking mind about it.

oh also the new place has actual security features. you have to get buzzed in to enter, you have to sign in, you're given a visitor pass, and you have to get buzzed out.

the place she was at here just had an automatic front door and nothing else. which. i will be honest i stopped by a few times after work and i was like.

huh. kinda don't like you can just walk in at 1030PM or later and like no one is around or gives you a second glance. like what if there's a freak around who wants to bother vulnerable old people???

[got-no-skill]

Also shout-out to appliances that no longer work because the server was shut down.

what smart appliances could have been: here is the exact part that is not functioning, here are 5 vendors selling that part for between $30-$70, here are 3 repair specialists in your area

what smart appliances actually are: you can’t operate this appliance because uhhhh *checks notes* your water filter is pirated :( 

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

i feel so chicken brooding over light bulbs right now

[bobapril]