#light ‘er up buddy! fire!

[cosmogyros]

(Reblog this version please!) Okay fuck it. I was too nervous to post this at first, but I see tons of non-Germans wanting to know what's going on right now. So here's my summary. Thanks to my buddy @keldermans and another German friend not on Tumblr for taking a glance at it to make sure I didn't get anything too horribly wrong <3 Any remaining errors are my bad!

I spent much of today writing up an outline of the current soap-opera drama going on in the German government, for my non-German-speaking friends who'd like to enjoy the tea as well.

Disclaimer: I am not technically German, but I did my best to explain this all as accurately as possible (and I did get a couple of Actual Germans to check it over for me).

For THE GERMAN DRAMA, see below...

Cast of characters:

The German government coalition (known as the “Ampel” – traffic light – due to its colors):

Olaf Scholz, Chancellor (leader) of Germany. Party: SPD (color: red). - and the other Red party members in the coalition - this includes the Minister of Health, Karl Lauterbach

Christian Lindner, Minister of Finance of Germany. Party: FDP (color: yellow). - and the other Yellow party members in the coalition (four FDP members) - this includes the Minister of Transport, Volker Wissing - and the Minister of Justice, Marco Buschmann

Robert Habeck, Vice-Chancellor of Germany. Party: Greens (color: green) - and the other Green party members in the coalition.

Other characters: Friedrich Merz, likely to become the next Chancellor. Party: CDU (color: black).

The events I can recall so far, in roughly chronological order over the past five days:

1. The government coalition argues all day Wednesday, trying to pass laws while Lindner refuses to agree to anything. In the evening, Scholz loses his patience and fires Lindner with the legendary words, “Dann, lieber Christian, möchte ich nicht mehr, dass Du meinem Kabinett angehörst. ...So. Doof.” (In that case, my dear Christian, I don’t want you in my cabinet anymore. ...Well. Sucks.)

2. Scholz then calls a press conference and gives a surprisingly impressive speech in which his rage is barely concealed. He includes some sharp jabs at Lindner and sounds very personally betrayed by the breakup.

Scholz's speech includes the immediately-legendary line “Zu oft hat er mein Vertrauen gebrochen” (Too often has he broken my trust), which everyone here in Germany is now obsessively quoting.

He declares that he will ask for a vote of confidence in January, and if he fails it (as is expected), he will call for new elections in March, six months earlier than they would otherwise have taken place.

3. Lindner gives a very emotional and self-pitying speech in which he declares “Ich habe gelitten” (I have suffered) – another phrase that becomes an instant classic with those of us watching from the sidelines – and he includes some sharp jabs at Scholz.

4. Showing solidarity with their fellow party member Lindner, all the rest of the FDP members in the coalition resign from the government too… except for Wissing, who instead decides to quit his own political party, the FDP, in order to stay in government and keep his job. He is now a party-less politician!

5. Habeck gives an emotional statement to the press, practically in tears, coming across like a kid whose parents are divorcing and he doesn’t know how to handle it. In a maudlin moment of his speech, he compares the collapse of the coalition to the end of a relationship.

6. At the end of Habeck’s statement, a reporter calls after him: “Is Lindner going to apply for Bürgergeld benefits?”

(Background: There are two tiers of unemployment benefits in Germany. To explain it in a somewhat tasteless way, there’s kind of a class distinction. If you come from a “higher-class” profession, you can typically start by getting ALG I, which is more money. If you are unemployed for the long term or come from a “lower-class” working background, you get Bürgergeld. The stereotype about people on Bürgergeld benefits is that they spend it all on drugs and alcohol and sit on park benches getting drunk all day. Also, Lindner is known for trying to pass legislation to reduce social benefits of all kinds, including unemployment benefits.)

7. Background: After the failed assassination attempt on Trump earlier this year, a popular German comedian called El Hotzo posted a joke online saying basically “too bad he missed” and promptly got fired for saying that. He kept his spirits up and joked about the job loss, saying “Ich bin Deutschlands frechster Arbeitsloser” (I’m Germany’s cheekiest unemployed boy).

Back to the present: At a press conference, a reporter asks Lindner: “How are you handling the statements being made about you online right now, such as ‘This is Germany’s cheekiest unemployed boy’?”

Lindner seems to need a long moment to figure out how to reply to this question.

8. The next day, Habeck coyly soft-launches his candidacy for Chancellor by posting a mysterious video of himself on social media in which he’s wearing a cute beaded friendship bracelet that spells out “Kanzler Era” (Chancellor Era). This is apparently a Taylor Swift reference (?).

In this video, he’s sitting in an atmospherically-lit room, writing at a table. It appears that Lindner had posted a very similar picture of himself in the past, because he now tweets in response to Habeck: “All Democrats welcome here, Robert! You got the setup almost right – the lamp was on the other side. ;)” (and he adds his own pic, which indeed very much resembles Habeck’s video)

9. Angela Merkel muses publicly, “Maybe God only created the FDP in order to test us all.” (ETA: She said this a while ago, not in response to the present situation. But it's still so true :'D)

10. A mainstream German news podcast sassily comments on Friday:

“While Olaf 'Too often has he broken my trust' Scholz is enjoying his party’s admiration for his cowboy moment and Christian 'I have suffered' Lindner is going through his own personal St. Matthew’s Passion […]”

11. Buschmann (one of the FDP party members who resigned), who apparently moonlights as a composer of electronic music under the handle "MBSounds", drops a new self-composed track on SoundCloud about the collapse of the Ampel government. It’s called “To Go Is to Stand”.

The news comments dryly: “Well, at least he doesn’t sing on the track.” (Buschmann's previous biggest hit was simply an angry speech of Lindner’s, set to music.)

Lauterbach (one of the SPD party members still in office) tweets: “No offense, but I don’t think I’ll be listening to that song more than once. But still, it was good working with you, Marco.”

12. The media ask Scholz if he’s throwing his hat in the ring to run for Chancellor again. He says yes. They ask, in what ways is he different from Friedrich Merz (the dude who’s currently expected to win)? And he replies “Ich finde mich etwas cooler, wenn es um Staatsangelegenheiten geht” (I think I’m somewhat cooler [than him] when it comes to matters of state).

And now the German media is making up new words like "scholzen" (which I can only presume means "as the leader of a country, to fire other government members you don't get along with"):

[Headline translation: "Who Donald Trump will 'scholz' first"]

[estellan0vella]

File It Under N For No One Gives A Fuck: H.JS Han Jisung x fem!wife!reader (Police AU)

WC: 8.1K

CW: mentions of drugs, mentions of anthrax, threats of divorce, talks of sex and inappropriate use of department handcuffs, Chan being a stressed out Captain

General Masterlist SKZ Masterlist

You step into the bustling precinct, your senses immediately absorbing the energy around you. Phones ring, radios squawk, officers shout to each other across the room, and every so often, there’s a burst of laughter from one of the clusters of desks. It’s your day off from the ER, a break from the endless flow of patients, the constant blare of monitors, and the adrenaline-fueled rush that never seems to end. You still want a taste of that energy, though, so here you are, coffee in hand for your husband Jisung and a few of his colleagues.

You navigate your way through the bullpen, a light blue summer dress brushing against your knees, and your white wedges clicking softly against the tile. Your white sunglasses sit perched on your head, holding back your hair, and the scent of freshly brewed coffee follows you as you carry a tray with four cups, each labelled with a different name: yours, Jisung’s, Felix’s, and Minho’s.

As your eyes sweep the room, they land on Felix, slumped back in his chair with a familiar air of exhaustion, his head tipped back, and his arms dangling off the sides as if the world’s weight has finally crushed him. You grin, making a beeline for him. Dropping into the chair opposite his desk, you slide his coffee across to him with a smirk.

“Look what the coffee fairy brought,” you announce, leaning back with an amused glint in your eye.

Felix blinks down at the cup before his face lights up with pure, unfiltered joy. “You absolute angel! I swear, I love you right now. Like, I’m dangerously close to kissing you.”

You laugh, the sound bubbling up before you can stop it. “Jisung would shoot you. No warning, just bang. Right between the eyes.”

Felix chuckles, shaking his head as he picks up his coffee, inhaling the aroma before taking a grateful sip. “Fucking worth it. Honestly, I’d risk it.”

As he drinks, his eyes drift over you, assessing your outfit with a dramatic once-over. He tilts his head, lips curling into a mischievous grin. “Okay, but why do you look like you’re about to star in some cheesy rom-com? Seriously, who are you trying to impress here, and why isn’t it me?”

You roll your eyes, glancing down at yourself as if seeing your outfit for the first time. “Can’t a woman look nice on her day off? I’m visiting my husband, Felix. I get to look like something other than a sleep-deprived ER nurse covered in mystery fluids. Plus, it’s hot outside.”

He smirks, the glint in his eyes growing sharper. “Suspiciously nice, if you ask me.”

Before you can fire back, Minho appears at Felix’s side, his eyes zeroing in on the cup with his name scrawled across it. With a smirk, he grabs it, taking a slow, satisfied sip. “Hmm, just the way I like it. Thanks. You know, you really should leave Jisung and marry me instead. Think about it: we’d be a power couple.”

You deadpan, barely blinking as you retort, “Absolutely not. I’d have to explain your ‘disappearance’ to a jury, and I’m not confident I could sell a self-defence story.” You pause, then add, “Also, your actual wife might take issue with you running off with your buddy’s wife.”

Felix bursts out laughing, nearly choking on his coffee. “Oh my god, I’d pay good money to see her kick your ass, Minho.”

Minho raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “I’m just saying, you talk a big game. But between you and me, I’m pretty sure I could handle you.”

You lean forward, a challenging grin playing on your lips. “Jisung handles me just fine, he doesn't need your help.”

Just as Minho opens his mouth to respond, Jisung walks up, and you see the flicker of amusement in his eyes. “Excuse me, what did I just walk into?”

“Nothing. Just Minho being his usual self,” you reply sweetly, holding out his coffee. “I brought you this.”

Jisung’s face softens, his eyes warming as he takes the cup from you and leans down to press a kiss against your cheek. “What would I do without you?”

“Crash and burn, probably,” you say, grinning up at him.

“Can confirm,” Felix chimes in, lazily leaning back in his chair and clearly enjoying the banter. “You’d be fucked without her, man.”

Jisung rolls his eyes, looking between you and his friends. “Glad to know my friends have so much faith in me.”

He glances back at you, taking in the dress, and a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “You do look amazing, by the way. Makes me want to ditch the precinct and-”

“Absolutely not. None of that in here,” Minho interrupts, raising a hand as if to physically block whatever Jisung was about to suggest. “I get enough of your lovey-dovey nonsense on a regular basis. This is a professional environment, thank you very much.”

You snort, rolling your eyes. “Right, because you’re the embodiment of professionalism, Minho. Never crossed a line in your life, right?”

“I am a paragon of professionalism,” he says, deadpan, puffing up like a proud peacock.

Felix snickers, shaking his head as he takes another sip. “Oh yeah? ‘Paragon of professionalism’? If that’s what we’re calling it now, sure. But remember that time your wife came to visit and Chan caught the two of you going at it in the men’s locker room?”

Minho’s face flushes slightly, but he tries to play it off, lifting his coffee and taking a long sip, refusing to break his stoic facade. “It was a passionate reunion.”

“Oh, we all know,” Felix says, grinning. “We all heard her moaning. Pretty sure they heard it over in the evidence room too.”

You snicker, raising an eyebrow at Minho. “Paragon of professionalism, huh?”

Minho’s face turns even redder, and he mutters into his coffee, “One incident. Just one.”

Jisung chuckles, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “See, that’s why I stick to public displays of affection in small doses. Less memorable.”

“Yeah, like that time you two were making out in the break room,” Felix says, smirking.

You feign innocence, looking up at Jisung. “I have no idea what he’s talking about. Clearly, he’s delusional.”

Jisung nods, playing along. “Absolutely. Must be all those late shifts, messing with his mind.”

Felix rolls his eyes, leaning forward with a mischievous grin. “Alright, alright. But just remember: if there’s any scandal around here, it’s usually because of you married lot. Meanwhile, I’m the model of restraint.”

Minho opens his mouth, likely to lob a sarcastic comment Felix's way, but the door to Captain Bang Chan’s office swings open with a sharp, foreboding creak. Chan strides out with a look of grim determination on his face that instantly makes your stomach drop. You know that look. Everyone does. It’s the kind of look that’s never followed by good news.

“All right, listen up!” Chan’s voice cuts through the chaotic murmur of the bullpen, slicing the noise in half as everyone freezes and turns toward him. “We’ve just received a credible threat of an anthrax attack on the station. Until further notice, we’re in lockdown. No one gets in or out.”

A stunned silence follows his words, the gravity of it crashing over the room like a wave. Anthrax. Of all things. It feels like the air itself thickens, every eye in the room locked on Chan, processing the information. You’re the first to break the silence.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you groan, throwing your hands up with dramatic exasperation. “I swear, I am never doing anything nice for any of you ever again. Here I am, on my day off, bringing real Italian coffee straight from my hometown, like the good wife and friend that I am, and now I’m fucking trapped here because some maniac decides today’s a great day to mess with a biochemistry set?!”

Felix snorts into his coffee, trying to hide his laughter, while Minho’s mouth twitches in barely contained amusement. Jisung’s shoulders shake as he attempts to keep a straight face. He reaches out, taking your hand gently and rubbing calming circles over your knuckles. “Jagiya-”

“No! Don’t ‘jagiya’ me right now,” you huff, narrowing your eyes at him. “This is exactly what I get for trying to do something nice.”

Jisung, his lips still curved in a soft smile, gives your hand a gentle squeeze. “Come on, let’s go sit at my desk. You can yell at me there, and maybe the world will make sense again.”

With a dramatic sigh, you allow him to lead you across the bullpen. You drag your feet with exaggerated reluctance, muttering a steady stream of colourful Italian curses under your breath. Jisung, still holding back laughter, takes the two remaining coffees from you as you settle yourself in his chair, folding your arms and glaring at the room like an affronted cat.

“That’s my seat, you know,” Jisung says, raising an eyebrow at you, clearly amused.

You fix him with a glare, your voice dripping with mock indignation. “It was your seat until your wife, out of the kindness of her heart, decided to do something nice for you and wound up smack in the middle of an anthrax threat. So, I think I deserve the chair, don’t you?”

Jisung chuckles, sitting down in the spare chair beside you and sliding your coffee over. “Fair enough,” he concedes, grinning. “And, for the record, thank you for the coffee. Even if we’re potentially in a biohazard zone.”

Your annoyance softens, just a bit, as you take a sip. “You’re welcome. I should start charging extra for hazard pay, though.”

You reach over to one of Jisung’s desk drawers, half-listening to the murmurs around you as people process the lockdown news. Your fingers brush a small packet at the edge of the drawer, and suddenly—

PFFFFT!

A white cloud bursts from the drawer, coating you and Jisung in a fine layer of white powder. You freeze, eyes wide, and for a second, the bullpen goes completely silent. The two of you stare at each other in shock, blinking through the powder.

Jisung sputters, wiping at his eyes with a grimace, before deadpanning, “I’ve never hoped something was cocaine more in my life.”

“Oh, my god,” Minho groans from across the room, his hand rubbing over his face in disbelief. “During an anthrax lockdown, you open a drawer, and a packet of white powder explodes. Seriously?”

You sit there, a mix of horror and resignation, before letting out a long, exasperated sigh. “Well, if it’s anthrax,” you mutter, throwing your hands up, “at least we’ll die together. So fucking romantic, right?”

Jisung lets out a resigned sigh, rolling up his sleeves. He gives you a sly smile. “You considering divorce yet?”

You snort, still trying to dust the powder off yourself. “Not a chance. I need that sweet, sweet overtime money.”

He laughs, his warm, familiar laugh that lightens the absurdity just a bit. As he leans back, wiping powder off his arms, you both notice Felix leaning, wide-eyed, clearly in awe of the sheer absurdity.

“Y/N,” he says, barely holding back laughter, “please, for the love of all things caffeinated, do not stop bringing us coffee. Even if you’re dead. Like, send it from the afterlife or something.”

You roll your eyes, a grin tugging at your lips. “Trust me, if this is anthrax, we’re all toast anyway, so get praying, Lix.”

Felix gives a melodramatic sigh, glancing at the powder-dusted desk with exaggerated despair. “Well, if you die, and I survive, I’ll make the most epic playlist for your funeral. It’ll be a symphony of tragic bangers.”

You chuckle, brushing some powder off your hand. “Appreciate the thought. I’ll haunt you if it isn’t perfect.”

Jisung leans back, watching you spin slowly in his desk chair, one hand still gripping your coffee. He raises an eyebrow, eyes twinkling with barely contained laughter. “You know,” you say. “I always thought a brush with death would be a little more dramatic.”

Jisung chuckles, sipping his coffee. “If it is anthrax, we’re in for a hell of a time, though, right?”

“Oh, for sure,” you nod, launching into a cheerful explanation. “It’ll be nausea, chest pain, coughing up blood, then more pain, and then bam! Dead. Pretty straightforward.”

Minho, still dusting powder off himself, makes a face. “Jesus, Y/N, couldn’t you sugarcoat it?”

You lean forward with a wicked grin. “No, but I could anthrax-coat it.”

Jisung laughs so hard he nearly spills his coffee, shaking his head. “You’re awful,” he says, eyes crinkling with amusement.

Minho stares at the two of you, visibly disturbed. “You two are fucking insane. I’m not dying with you clowns.”

As if on cue, Minho reaches to open his desk drawer and PFFFFT! Another puff of white powder explodes into his face. He jerks back, sputtering and swatting at the cloud around him.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” he shouts, coughing as he frantically waves his hands to clear the powder. His eyes dart around the room in horror as he sees the fine dust settling on his shirt.

And then, as if on cue, there’s another PFFFFT! from Jeongin’s desk, sending a similar cloud of white powder into the air.

One by one, desks throughout the bullpen erupt in clouds of powder, each explosion met with gasps, curses, and shouts of “What the hell?!”

Now, at least seven officers stand in powder-covered horror, looking around at each other like deer caught in headlights.

You lean back in Jisung’s chair, arms folded, and let out a theatrical sigh. “It’s like a damn anthrax snowglobe in here.”

Chan stands in the middle of the chaos, looking around with a deadpan expression and slowly rubbing his temples. “This- this is just fucking fantastic,” he mutters. “Seven packets of possible anthrax. All opened. In my station. At once.”

He turns to you, eyes narrowing with a desperate look. “Y/N, you’re a nurse. If this is anthrax-”

“Oh, we’ll all die, no question,” you say far too casually, waving a dismissive hand. “Very unpleasantly, but yeah. It’ll be over soon. Painful but quick”

Jisung gives you a nudge, his smile widening. “You sure you’re not sugarcoating it just a little?”

You tilt your head, pretending to think about it. “Nope. Just straight facts.”

Minho, wiping powder from his face with a look of pure frustration, groans. “You’ve got to be kidding me. All these years on the force, and this is how I go?”

“Tragic,” Felix says, eyeing the powder on his desk like it’s a mortal insult. “I always thought I’d go out in style. You know, something heroic like leaping from a helicopter or rescuing someone from a burning building. This is just fucking depressing.”

You look around, dusted, exhausted, and oddly exhilarated by the chaos. “Well, when life gives you anthrax…” you trail off with a shrug.

Felix raises his coffee cup in salute. “We all go out covered in powder, blood and vomit.”

And with a weary shake of his head, Chan walks back into his office, muttering something about a "transfer request form" under his breath as the bullpen erupts in laughter once more.

Four hours later, the precinct feels like a tomb, the initial panic over the anthrax threat having decayed into a sluggish boredom that clings to the room like a fog. 

Felix stares dead-eyed into his cup, as if expecting it to reveal some hidden truth, while Minho, growing increasingly restless, has resorted to flicking crumpled paper balls at the back of Jeongin’s head. Each hit makes Jeongin flinch, but he’s too tired to even retaliate, just accepting Minho's antics.

You’re leaned back in Jisung’s chair, spinning lazily every now and then as if the motion might somehow break up the monotony. Your coffee, now cold, sits forgotten in your hand, and Jisung, ever the optimist, sits beside you, trying to make light conversation.

“Hey, at least we have each other’s company, right?” he says, nudging you with a hopeful smile.

You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed. “It’s my day off, Jisung. I didn’t exactly plan on spending it in lockdown with a possible anthrax scare and shitty coffee.”

Before he can respond, the heavy clomp of boots echoes down the hallway. Your head snaps up, eyes locking onto the doorway just as two men in hazmat suits stride in, their suits rustling like whispers of salvation. You sit up slightly, watching them like they’re some sort of mirage, the long-lost cavalry finally arriving to end this dreary nightmare.

“Well, it’s about fucking time,” you mutter, your eyes following the men as they approach Chan, who looks about as thrilled as a man in his position could look.

Jisung leans over with a small smile, his voice barely above a whisper. “At least they’re here now.”

“Here now?” you scoff, turning to him with an incredulous look. “If this had actually been anthrax, we’d be dead already. What kind of response time is this? They took four hours, Jisung. Four. Do they think we’re immune?”

He stifles a laugh, but you can see his amusement in the crinkle at the corners of his eyes. Meanwhile, the hazmat men gesture to Chan, their voices muffled by their masks as they deliver what must be a lengthy explanation of protocols and procedures. Chan nods, his shoulders slumping just slightly as he listens.

After a few minutes, Chan clears his throat, his voice cutting through the room with forced authority. “Listen up, everyone! Hazmat just informed me that we could be here for another four to nine hours, depending on how long it takes them to conduct all necessary tests.”

A collective groan rises from the bullpen. Before anyone else can react, you whirl around to Jisung, fixing him with a dramatic, accusing stare.

“Divorce,” you declare, pointing at him with a flourish. “Effective immediately”

Jisung nearly chokes on his coffee, eyes wide. “What?!”

You stand up, throwing your arms out in exasperation, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’ve been stuck in this station for hours, with a looming potential biohazard threat. Anthrax or not, this is not how I wanted to spend my day off. This-” you gesture wildly at the room, encompassing the bored, powder-dusted officers around you. “is your fault, Jisung. All of it.”

Jisung stares at you, mouth half-open as he searches for words. “I…how is this my fault? I didn’t exactly order an anthrax scare for our quality time.”

“Oh, but it’s your job that dragged me into this mess!” you say, throwing your hands up again. “I could be at home, in a bathrobe, binge-watching crime dramas from the comfort of our couch. But no. I brought coffee here because I’m a supportive spouse, and now I’m paying the price for marrying you.”

Before Jisung can defend himself, Chan steps in, his voice cutting through like a referee at a boxing match. “Y/N,” he says, an amused smile tugging at his lips, “I’ll call the hospital and get you the day off tomorrow if that’ll make this any easier.”

You cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at Jisung with exaggerated triumph. “Well, would you look at that, Jisung? Your captain just saved our marriage.”

Across the room, Felix, who’s been slumped over his desk in a near-sleep state, perks up, chuckling into his hand. “Shit, Chan is pulling out the big guns. Saving marriages and shit.”

Jisung sighs, holding his hands up in a gesture of defeat as he chuckles. “Guess I owe him one.”

“You owe me more than that,” you mutter, sinking back into the chair and resuming your lazy spinning. “The day off and a full spa day when this is over.”

Jisung grins, leaning back with a playful look in his eyes. “Whatever you want, jagiya. Just as long as I don’t have to file those divorce papers.”

Minho, who’s been watching the entire exchange with a smirk, decides to chime in. “If she divorces you, Jisung, I’ll swoop right in. I mean, who wouldn’t want a spouse who brings Italian coffee in a potential biohazard situation?”

Felix snickers. “If you and Y/N got married, the world would implode. Too much chaos in one household.”

You shake your head, stifling a laugh as you look at Minho with a teasing smirk. “You’d never survive, Minho. One bad day, and I’d have you crying into your cereal.”

“Challenge accepted,” he says, his eyes glinting with mischief.

Chan sighs from his spot, still half-listening to the hazmat team’s explanations. “Enough with the matchmaking. If I have to sit through another hour of marriage talk, I’m filing a transfer request.”

Felix chuckles, leaning over to you with a conspiratorial grin. “Captain Bang, mediator of biohazard romances. Didn’t know it was part of the job description.”

“Must be in the fine print,” Chan mutters, shaking his head. "And I wish I had fucking read it properly"

One of the hazmat techs finally steps forward, addressing the room in a slightly garbled voice through his mask. “All right, folks, we’re going to start testing samples now. Please remain calm, avoid unnecessary movements, and try not to touch anything you don’t need to.”

The room collectively exhales in tired resignation. Minho raises his hand, deadpan. “Define ‘unnecessary movements.’”

The hazmat tech stares at him, either confused or completely done with the situation, it’s hard to tell through the mask. “Just sit tight, sir.”

Felix snickers, muttering under his breath, “The real anthrax scare is how bored we’re all going to be by hour nine.”

Jeongin, who’s been silently enduring Minho’s paper ball attacks, speaks up, a note of desperation in his voice. “If we’re going to be here for that long, can we at least get some food? We’ll starve at this rate.”

“Starve?” Minho raises an eyebrow, picking up his discarded coffee cup. “Nah, we’ll be fine. If we get desperate, we can always resort to cannibalism. Starting with Felix.”

Felix sputters, looking genuinely appalled. “Excuse me? Why me?”

“Self-preservation,” Minho replies smoothly. “You’re the smallest. Least resistance.”

Jeongin, unable to hide his grin, chimes in, “Plus, I bet you’d be like the chicken nugget of the group, Felix. Small, bite-sized.”

Felix rolls his eyes, tossing a paper ball at Jeongin. “I’m a gourmet meal, thank you very much. You’d all be lucky to have a piece.”

Jisung leans over, watching the hazmat team set up their equipment with growing fascination. “Is it bad that I’m sort of curious now? I mean, if this actually is anthrax, we’re kind of making history here.”

You look at him, incredulous. “History? History? If it is anthrax, we’ll be coughing up blood and dying in a very unglamorous way, Jisung. That’s not exactly the kind of legacy I had in mind.”

He shrugs, grinning. “Could make for a hell of a story, though.”

You stare at him, shaking your head. “The next time you want a story, we’re sticking to action movies, not anthrax.”

The hazmat techs start running their samples, and the room falls back into a dull, exhausted silence. You recline in Jisung’s chair, closing your eyes, already imagining the blissful tranquility of a spa day—a very overdue, very earned spa day.

After a while, Felix breaks the silence, his voice low and almost wistful. “You know, if we make it out of this alive, I think I’m going to adopt a cat. Just something small and not life-threatening.”

Jeongin snorts. “You’ll have to survive this lockdown first, man. Don’t go making promises you can’t keep.”

You chuckle, throwing an arm around Jisung’s shoulder. “Fine by me. But if one more puff of powder goes off, I swear, I’m taking the first plane back to Italy and leaving you all to fend for yourselves.”

Jisung just laughs, resting his head against yours. “Whatever you want, jagiya. I'll get on the plane with you.”

Another five gruelling hours crawl by, and the precinct has transformed into a restless prison of boredom and frustration. The air is thick, and stagnant, punctuated only by Felix’s occasional sighs and the relentless tap-tap-tap of Minho’s fingers drumming on his desk. Everyone’s slumped, sprawled out, or halfway to sleep when the two hazmat guys finally reappear, their footsteps echoing like a siren of salvation.

You sit up, barely daring to hope, as the hazmat team heads straight to Chan. After a low, muffled conversation, Chan’s face twists into a mask of pure exasperation. He turns back to the bullpen, the entire room watching him with expectant, tired eyes.

“All right, listen up!” he calls, and every officer straightens slightly, waiting. “The tests are done.” Chan sighs, pausing for what feels like an eternity. “The powder is harmless. A mix of…skin irritants. Talcum powder, cornstarch, and”—he pauses, clearly trying to keep his composure—“itching powder.”

A split second of stunned silence, then the room erupts.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Minho’s hands slam down on his desk as he surges to his feet, his voice a full octave higher than usual. “Nine hours locked down for itching powder?!”

Felix lets out a long, theatrical groan, slumping back in his chair like he might just dissolve into the floor. “Nine hours of this hell, and all we needed was a good rinse in the shower?”

Everywhere around you, officers are grumbling, voices overlapping as they process the absurdity of the past hours. You can’t take another second of it, not Minho’s complaining, not Felix’s endless sighing, not even Jeongin’s eye-rolling. You reach into Jisung’s desk drawer, grab one of the remaining powder packets, and before you can think better of it, you hurl it directly at Minho’s face.

The packet explodes on impact, a cloud of white dust billowing around him. There’s a split-second of silence before laughter explodes through the bullpen, ringing off the walls. Felix slides off his chair, practically wheezing as he gasps for breath, and Jeongin is clapping, grinning like you’ve just performed the greatest prank in the world.

Minho splutters, wiping powder from his eyes, his expression a blend of betrayal and disbelief. “Y/N! You took an oath to do no harm!”

You fold your arms, raising an eyebrow. “Nope. That’s the doctor’s oath. I’m a nurse. Totally different.”

He glares at you, dusted in white powder like a disgruntled snowman. “Unbelievable. Nine hours of hell, and this is how I’m treated? I’m filing a report, mark my words.”

Jisung snickers, reaching over to pat your shoulder. “Go ahead, file it under N. For No one gives a fuck.”

Felix, still practically in tears from laughter, chimes in, “Or under T, for Talk to someone who fucking cares.”

Jeongin joins in, his face lit up with mischievous glee. “Or S, for Shut the fuck up, no one gives a shit.”

Hyunjin, who’s been scrolling on his phone the whole time, doesn’t even look up. “Or D, for Don’t give a fuck.”

Minho’s eyes widen, his jaw dropping as he looks around the room, his face a mask of disbelief and faux betrayal. “I’m being bullied by my own subordinates! This is harassment!”

From his desk, Chan finally speaks, his voice weary and deadpan. “Minho, shut the fuck up.”

Minho’s hands fly to his chest in mock agony, his tone an exaggerated whine. “Now I’m being bullied by the big boss! This is it. No one loves me anymore!”

You lean back in your chair, grinning as you taunt, “I bet even your wife is done with your shit. She’s probably using this lockdown as the perfect chance to call her divorce lawyer.”

Felix’s eyes gleam with wicked delight as he gasps dramatically, “Filed under D, for Disappointing dick game!”

Minho’s face flushes a deep crimson, his eyes bulging as he points a finger at Felix. “Disappointing dick game? You little—”

Chan raises his hands, his face pale with horror as he plugs his ears. “Nope. Nope. Not touching this one. Not taking it to HR.”

You lean forward, eyes glinting with mischief. “You could always file it under O, for One-pump chump.”

Jisung nearly falls out of his chair, laughing so hard his coffee almost spills. Felix has rolled onto the floor, clutching his stomach as he gasps for air, and the rest of the officers are chuckling, some tossing balled-up paper and pen caps at Minho, who looks moments away from either combusting or joining in the chaos.

Minho straightens, arms crossed as he tries to look dignified. “All right, don’t think I won’t shoot every last one of you and then myself!”

Felix, propping himself up on one elbow from his spot on the floor, grins up at Minho. “With your aim, Minho? You’d miss yourself and take out half the precinct’s ceiling instead.”

Laughter ripples through the room again, some officers nearly falling out of their chairs, and even Chan has a hand covering his mouth, clearly struggling not to join in.

Minho raises an eyebrow, trying to regain control as he looks over at Chan. “Captain, I’m seriously filing a complaint. This is hostile work environment behaviour.”

Chan’s gaze turns steely, but his lips are twitching as he struggles to hold back laughter. “Minho, one more word, and I’ll personally throw you out of the window.”

Minho huffs, crossing his arms like a petulant child. “Fine. Just know that when I finally lose it, none of you will be safe.”

You glance over at him, raising an eyebrow. “Lose it? Minho, you lost it the day you joined this precinct. You’re a ticking time bomb of mild inconveniences.”

Jeongin nods, grinning. “Pretty sure your wife would agree, too. She’s probably planning her exit strategy as we speak.”

Felix smirks, winking at Minho. “Filed under M, for Maybe if you were better in bed.”

The room howls with laughter as Minho’s face turns an even deeper shade of red, and you can almost see the smoke rising from his ears. He holds up a finger, shaking it at Felix. “You better hope I don’t catch you in the locker room after this, Lee Felix.”

Felix shrugs, unphased, throwing a playful salute as he leans back in his chair. “Bring it on, grandpa. I can take you.”

Without warning, you walk over to Minho's desk, grab the last remaining packet of powder, and in one smooth motion, smush it directly into his face. There’s a split second of stunned silence before the bullpen erupts in laughter and cheers. Felix lets out a gleeful whoop, practically falling off his chair, while Jeongin laughs so hard he’s clutching his stomach.

Minho sputters, wiping at the powder coating his hair and face, his eyes wide with indignation. “You! I’m going to arrest you for assaulting an officer!” he shouts, launching himself from his chair and charging after you.

You’re already darting across the bullpen, laughter bubbling out of you as you throw a cheeky glance over your shoulder. “Oh yeah? And who’s going to patch you up next time you hurt your wrist being handcuffed to the headboard with your departmentally issued cuffs while getting down and dirty with your wife?”

The bullpen falls silent for a second, jaws dropping as they process your words. Then Felix lets out an ear-splitting scream. “Oh my god! Minho’s sprained wrist was a sex injury?!”

Minho halts mid-chase, face flushing crimson as he slaps a hand over his eyes. “We swore to secrecy!” he protests, his voice cracking with embarrassment.

You duck behind Felix’s desk, grinning wickedly. “Did we? Because I don’t seem to remember that.”

Felix, now nearly in tears, doubles over in his chair, barely able to catch his breath. “This is officially the best day of my life,” he manages to gasp out.

Minho lunges toward you again, but you spring over the desk like a gymnast, dodging his grasp with ease. He stops in his tracks, watching you with a mixture of exasperation and grudging admiration. “Are you some kind of burglar in your spare time?”

You laugh, tossing him a wink. “Had to be, to pick those damn cuffs you left lying around!”

Laughter erupts around the room again, with even Chan chuckling under his breath. Minho, panting and glaring at you, looks around for backup but finds only grins and raised eyebrows. He turns to Jisung, who’s leaning back in his chair, thoroughly entertained. “I’m arresting your wife, Han. You better be ready to bail her out.”

Jisung’s grin widens as he stretches back comfortably. “Go ahead and try. I’ll tase you before you can even get the cuffs out.”

Minho narrows his eyes, crossing his arms. “Oh, so now you’re threatening to tase me?”

Jisung shrugs, lifting his coffee cup in a lazy salute. “If it means protecting my wife, absolutely.”

The room breaks into another round of laughter, with Jeongin egging you on, a glint of mischief in his eyes as he hands you yet another packet of powder. “Here. Third time’s the charm.”

Minho stares at you, eyes wide as he holds up his hands in surrender. “I am serious about this arrest, Y/N,” he growls, his face still dusted with powder.

You raise an eyebrow, grinning. “Great, but if you do, can you at least use someone else’s handcuffs? I don’t want any residue from your…extra-curriculars.”

The entire room dissolves into hysterics again, Felix’s cackles echoing off the walls as he practically falls out of his chair. Minho’s face grows redder and redder as he points accusingly at Jisung. “This! This is who you married?!” His voice is incredulous, the words practically dripping with mock disgust.

Jisung only shrugs, his eyes gleaming with pride. “Minho, you were at our wedding. You even made a toast. You know I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Minho throws his hands up dramatically, shaking his head in dismay. “At the time, she was the sweet, sexy Italian nurse you somehow tricked into marriage. We were all baffled by it! But now…now she’s just an evil, powder-wielding menace!”

Jisung leans back in his chair, draping his arm over your shoulders with a smug grin. “Yeah, but she’s my evil, powder-wielding menace.”

Seungmin, who’s been watching the whole scene unfold with amusement, finally speaks up, his tone incredulous. “No, seriously, Han. How the fuck did you manage to marry her? I need to know.”

Felix, still half-laughing, adds, “Did you slip something in her coffee, man? Because this feels like a miracle.”

You swat Jisung’s arm playfully, grinning. “Trust me, if there’d been anything suspicious in my coffee, I’d have come to my senses and left ages ago.”

The laughter crescendos as officers toss playful insults at Minho, who looks as though he’s about to burst. Finally, just when he seems on the edge of a breakdown, Chan steps in, his voice a mix of amusement and exasperation. “Minho, you’re not arresting her. If anything, she’s doing us all a favour by keeping you in line.”

Minho looks at Chan, his jaw dropping in exaggerated offence. “I don’t even have my captain’s support! What happened to having each other’s backs, huh?”

You lean back in your chair, crossing your arms with a smug grin as Minho mutters, still clearly in shock from the betrayal. Felix, ever the instigator, can’t resist tossing in one last jab. “Hey, Minho, why don’t you go cry to your wife? Oh wait—she’s probably signing those divorce papers as we speak.”

The laughter roars again, and Minho looks as though he’s on the verge of a meltdown. Before he can retaliate, you lean back into Jisung’s embrace, his arms wrapping protectively around you as he chuckles.

“So, after all this,” Jisung murmurs near your ear, “will you still bring us coffee?”

You tilt your head back slightly, smirking up at him. “Only if you start keeping a blanket and pillow in your locker so I can nap next time there’s a lockdown.”

Jisung raises an eyebrow, grinning. “If you’d asked, I’d have told you. I’ve had a blanket and pillow in there for months.”

You stare at him in disbelief. “You’ve had a blanket this whole time? And I’ve been stuck here, caffeine-deprived and nap-deprived? Jiiiiisung!”

He laughs, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. “Hey, on the bright side, we can go home now. I’ve racked up a solid six hours of overtime, and we’ve got the whole day tomorrow for movies, naps, and, of course, proper Italian coffee.”

You sigh contentedly, letting your head rest against his shoulder. “Fine. But I’m holding you to it.”

Jisung chuckles, loosening his hold on you just enough to stand up. “What are we waiting for, then? Let me change out of this uniform, and we’ll get out of here.”

He gives you a playful wink and heads to the locker room. The second he’s out of earshot, you swivel back to Minho, who’s still brooding at his desk, and raise an eyebrow.

“Surprised you’re still here, Minho,” you say, grinning wickedly. “Your wife’s probably already got her lawyer on speed dial, ready to serve those papers.”

Minho narrows his eyes at you and scoops up a handful of powder left on his desk, flinging it at you. It flutters through the air, dusting your hair and shoulders. Unphased, you brush it off with a smirk.

Felix, watching with barely contained laughter, leans back. “Y/N still looks like a goddamn model, and Minho looks like he’s auditioning for a low-budget winter horror movie.”

Minho’s face grows redder as he scowls around the room. “I hope this is anthrax. I hope it’s actually anthrax, and you all get what’s coming to you.”

Chan, not even looking up from his paperwork, sighs. “Minho, you’ve inhaled more of that stuff than anyone. You’re going first if it is.”

You laugh, pointing at Minho with a dramatic flair. “So we’ll get to laugh at you one last time before we go. Sounds perfect.”

Jisung returns from the locker room a few minutes later, looking relaxed and cozy in his black sweatpants and hoodie. He reaches for your hand, giving you a warm smile as he leads you toward the exit.

As you pass Minho’s desk, you can’t resist one last poke. “And, Minho? I’m off-duty tonight, so you’re on your own for any sex-related injuries. Better keep things vanilla—no handcuffs, no nipple clamps.”

Minho’s face flushes bright red, and the entire room pauses to stare at him, expressions ranging from shocked to delighted. Felix’s head snaps up, eyes gleaming with curiosity. “Hold up—did someone say nipple clamps?”

You and Jisung exchange a look, grinning, before turning in unison to point at Minho. The room explodes in laughter once again as Minho slams his hand over his face in mortification.

“Fine! So, I like a bit of spice. Sue me!” he shouts over the uproar.

The laughter only intensifies, but Minho lifts his chin, crossing his arms and attempting to look dignified. “At least I’m not the only one with skeletons. I know all about what you two get up to!” he says, pointing accusingly at you and Jisung.

Felix perks up, eyes wide with excitement. “Oh, I have to hear this.”

Minho leans back, smirking. “They do Grey’s Anatomy roleplay. Full doctor-nurse scenarios.”

Felix’s jaw drops, a slow grin spreading over his face. “Wait—how do you know that?”

Minho grins, clearly enjoying the attention. “I was picking up some old furniture from them. Let myself in, and there they were in the living room. Y/N in a slutty nurse outfit, and Dr. Han was conducting a very unethical exam.”

The bullpen erupts into laughter, louder than ever, and Jisung grins, pulling you close, unbothered by the revelation. You roll your eyes, fighting a smile, knowing Minho’s just getting you back.

Felix, wiping tears from his eyes, stammers, “Oh my god, this is the best thing I’ve ever heard. You guys are absolute legends.”

You shake your head, throwing a grin Minho’s way. “All right, all right. Keep those stories for next time, Minho. We’ll be back tomorrow if you want to keep sharing.”

Minho gives a mock salute, a grin spreading across his face. “I’ll save the best for last. But just you wait, Jisung. I’ve got more where that came from.”

Jisung chuckles, guiding you out of the bullpen, giving one last wave. “See you tomorrow, Minho.”

The door closes behind you, and the cool night air washes over your face as you take a deep breath, finally free from the laughter, the powder, and the relentless teasing. Jisung leads you to his car, and as you sink into the passenger seat, you can’t help but smile, feeling a giddy sense of satisfaction.

“Well,” you say, leaning back with a sigh, “that was a day.”

Jisung lets out a soft chuckle, starting the car. “It was something all right. But hey, now it’s just us. Tomorrow’s ours. Movies, naps, and that Italian coffee you’ve been promising me.”

You open one eye, giving him a sidelong glance. “No Minho?”

He smirks, reaching over to give your hand a squeeze. “Definitely no Minho.”

Jisung pulls into the driveway, the familiar warmth of home glowing like a promise as he shuts off the engine. You step out of the car, your heels clicking softly against the pavement as you stretch, arms raised above your head, sighing in relief to finally be back. Jisung joins you, his fingers intertwining with yours as you both head up the walkway, and for a moment, everything feels blissfully calm and quiet. Worlds away from the precinct’s chaos.

Inside, Jisung locks the door behind you, leaning against it with a weary but contented grin. “Shower?”

“Oh, absolutely,” you reply, laughing. “The last thing I need is that damn itching powder haunting me all night. Not dealing with nine hours of that just to be scratching in my sleep.”

He chuckles, squeezing your hand. “Good call. Let’s head up.”

You both kick off your shoes, and you grab the handrail as you make your way upstairs, your dress swishing softly with each step. In the bathroom, Jisung is already tugging his hoodie over his head, tossing it to the floor without a second thought. His grin turns wicked as he catches your eye. “What, no stripping from you?”

You roll your eyes but smile, unzipping the back of your dress and letting it slide from your shoulders, pooling around your feet. “Happy now?”

“Ecstatic,” he says, his eyes twinkling as he slips off his sweatpants and steps into the shower. He twists the handle, testing the water temperature with his hand. “Come on, it’s perfect.”

You step in beside him, the hot water pouring over you, washing away the remnants of powder, sweat, and every ounce of stress. Jisung closes the glass door behind you, reaching for the shampoo and pouring a generous dollop into his hands.

“Here, let me,” he murmurs, massaging the shampoo into your hair with gentle fingers, his thumbs rubbing small circles along your scalp.

You close your eyes, melting under his touch. “God, how much powder did we inhale today? I feel like it’s in my hair, my lungs…my brain.”

He laughs, rinsing the shampoo from your hair. “Honestly, we’re probably sneezing up talcum powder for weeks. Worth it though—you looked like a total badass hurling that last packet at Minho.”

“Couldn’t resist,” you say, tilting your head back to let the water flow over your hair. “Besides, the whole thing was ridiculous. Nine hours of lockdown for itching powder?”

“You made it memorable, though,” he teases, his fingers running through your hair to make sure it’s completely clear. “Thanks for sticking it out with us.”

You scoff, giving him a playful nudge. “Like I had much choice. I’d have been thrown in lockup if I’d tried to escape.”

He snorts. “No way would I let that happen to my beautiful wife, stranded in her sundress and all. I’d fight anyone who tried to lock you up.”

“Anyone, huh?” you laugh, glancing over your shoulder at him. “Even Chan?”

Jisung lifts his chin defiantly. “Even Chan. Sure, he’d wipe the floor with me in seconds, but I’d make it look heroic. I’d do it for you.”

You laugh, turning to face him, your eyes sparkling. “Babe, you’re right. Chan would flatten you without breaking a sweat. One flex of those shoulders, and you’re done.”

“Hey!” he protests, scooping a handful of water and splashing it at you, eyes narrowed in playful accusation. “I thought you were on my side.”

Grinning, you wipe the water from your face. “I am on your side! You’re the one who said it!”

He huffs, though his grin is unstoppable as he lathers up the body wash, his hands moving over your shoulders and down your arms, lingering at your waist. “Sure, sure. Thanks for the support, traitor.”

“Just being realistic here,” you reply, biting back a laugh.

He smirks, his thumb tracing a soft circle on your hip. “Yeah, yeah. ‘Realistic,’ my ass.”

You nudge him lightly, but he only laughs, taking a step back to grab the body wash for himself. You let the hot water cascade over you, rinsing away the last of the powder, and sigh as the warmth melts the final bits of tension in your muscles. Once he’s finished washing, Jisung twists off the water, reaching for a fluffy towel on the wall.

Stepping out, you grab your favourite long robe with the marabou trim, wrapping it around yourself. Jisung, watching you with a smirk, secures a towel around his waist, eyebrows raised in admiration.

“You know,” he says, tilting his head as he eyes your robe, “they call those ‘femme fatale robes’ for a reason. You look like you’re about to seduce me for a stack of cash and a getaway car.”

You snort, pulling a comb through your damp hair. “Please. That’s the last thing on my mind right now. Food and sleep are the only things I’m interested in.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” he says, grabbing his razor from the sink and applying a dollop of shaving cream to his face. “I’m starving. How about takeout?”

“Sounds perfect,” you say, reaching for your skincare products. “Cooking anything tonight sounds like absolute torture.”

He chuckles, carefully shaving the stubble from his face. “Takeout and…a Harry Potter marathon?”

You grin, catching his eye in the mirror. “Now you’re speaking my language. Ravenclaw supremacy, all the way.”

“Uh, excuse me?” He pauses mid-brush, putting on an expression of exaggerated shock. “We all know Hufflepuff’s the real hero house.”

“Oh, Jisung,” you say, shaking your head as you smooth on some moisturizer. “Ravenclaws would outsmart everyone in seconds.”

“Psh, Hufflepuffs would win on loyalty and determination,” he counters, rinsing his razor. “We’re the ones who bring snacks, make sure everyone’s good, and still get the job done.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you reply, patting on some eye cream. “Meanwhile, I’ll be doing what Ravenclaws do best: winning.”

He rolls his eyes, grinning as he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you close. “Fine, Miss Ravenclaw Supremacy. Let’s go order some food before I pass out right here.”

Together, you head down the hallway to the bedroom, where Jisung grabs his phone and flops onto the bed, scrolling through food delivery options.

“So, what are we feeling? Pizza? Thai? Sushi?” he asks, glancing at you as you turn on the TV and pull up Netflix.

You curl up beside him, resting your head on his shoulder. “Let’s go with Thai. Feels earned after today.”

“Thai it is,” he says, quickly placing the order. He sets his phone down and wraps an arm around you, pulling you in closer. “And tomorrow morning, once we’re itch-free and well-rested, I’m making us the biggest breakfast ever. Pancakes, eggs, the whole deal.”

You sigh, melting into his warmth. “That sounds heavenly. But for now, we’ve got Thai on the way, Harry Potter ready to go, and we’re finally powder-free.”

Jisung grins, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he clicks play on The Philosopher’s Stone. “Nineteen hours and thirty-nine minutes of pure wizarding magic ahead of us.”

You snuggle deeper into him, grinning. “Perfect. Only way this night could be better is if you’d actually pick Ravenclaw.”

“Keep dreaming,” he chuckles, giving your side a gentle squeeze. “Everyone knows Hufflepuffs bring the real magic. Besides, what do Ravenclaws even bring? Trivia?”

“Intellect,” you say, sitting up slightly to give him a haughty look. “And let’s be honest—Ravenclaws would make amazing Aurors.”

He shakes his head, amused. “And Hufflepuffs would be the best Healers, the ones who’d save everyone after your ‘intellect’ gets you all hexed.”

You throw a pillow at him, laughing as he catches it easily. “You’re impossible.”

“Nah, I’m adorable,” he replies with a smirk, leaning in to give you a quick kiss. “And I’ve got Thai food on the way.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that,” you say, settling back against him as the movie starts.

When the doorbell rings twenty minutes later, Jisung jumps up, grabbing the food and quickly coming back to the bedroom, arms loaded with takeout bags. He spreads them out on the bed, grinning.

“All right, feast time!” he declares, opening the containers. “Green curry for you, Pad Thai for me, and spring rolls for both of us.”

You dig in, savouring the warm, spicy flavours, and let out a contented sigh. “This is exactly what I needed.”

Jisung grins, his mouth full of noodles. “Told you. Nothing like Thai and Harry Potter after a day like that.”

The movie plays on, and you both devour the food, laughing over scenes you’ve seen a thousand times and arguing over the merits of each Hogwarts house. As the night wears on, you find yourself drifting off against him, his arm a comforting weight around your shoulders.

Just as you’re about to fully doze off, Jisung gently shakes you awake. “Hey, don’t fall asleep yet. We’ve got a whole marathon to get through.”

You smile sleepily, snuggling into him. “Can’t help it. You make the perfect pillow.”

He laughs softly, shifting so you’re both lying down, pulling the blankets over you. “All right, fine. We’ll marathon it tomorrow. For now, get some sleep.”

You drift off with his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back, the sound of the movie playing softly in the background. For once, there’s no powder, no noise, just the quiet warmth of home, Jisung beside you, and a full night of uninterrupted rest stretching out ahead.

[totallyjustabunchofhocuspocus]

Fic preview

A sneak peek of the next part of Come Away, O Human Child (a Buddie urban fantasy AU)

Christopher is dozing in his lap, worn out by the upheaval of the last few hours, when Maddie arrives at the waiting room of First Presbyterian.

It’s not the ICU this time, thank God, but Eddie is struck with a horrible sense of déjà vu as Buck’s sister rushes up to him, her face pinched and worried, her hair in a disarray as though she’s been running her fingers through it. He stands slowly, shifting Chris in his arms and then turning to lay him back down on the vinyl-covered couch they’d commandeered as soon as an ER nurse told them where they could wait while Buck was attended to.

“Eddie,” Maddie says, rushing up to him and laying her hand on his arm. She squeezes his wrist, a gesture of comfort that he’s not sure is for him or herself. “What’s going on?”

“He had a seizure,” Eddie says tiredly, repeating the information he’d fired off in the 118 groupchat while sitting in the back of an ambulance with his son. “Grand mal. Lasted about six minutes and he passed out afterwards. He woke up on the way here, but he was completely out of it.” He rattles it off like a debrief, like he’s just reporting the results of an op to a superior officer and not talking about his partner. About Buck.

Maddie bites her lip as he talks, swallowing hard as her hand tightens on his. “I don’t—he’s never had seizure activity before,” she says, her voice trembling slightly before she visibly steels herself. “Okay. Okay, I’m going to go see if they have any updates. They’re probably going to admit him with everything that's happened; at least overnight.”

Eddie nods silently, having already expected that. He swallows back the urge to ask if he can go with her, not sure if she’d see it as an intrusion or not. Buck hasn’t told her that he and Eddie are together, yet—they’d been planning to finally let everyone in on their secret after they told Christopher today. And afterwards, they’d planned on updating their paperwork—making each other their primary emergency contact, at least get themselves listed as someone who can receive medical information and make decisions for each other.

Eddie is ready to make it even more official…is ready to give Buck his medical Power of Attorney, to list him as Christopher’s legal guardian if anything happens to him and Shannon, ready to tell Buck to just find someone to sublet the loft to now and bring the rest of his stuff to the house. Their house. Their home. He thinks Buck is on the same page, but neither of them has brought it up yet. It all feels so fast.

It doesn’t feel fast enough.

But right now, all he can do is watch as Maddie makes her way to the waiting room desk and identifies herself, asking for any kind of update on Buck. Eddie can’t even pretend he’s not trying to eavesdrop, but his attention is drawn to his son when Christopher stirs and sits up, blinking up at him owlishly before he realizes where they are.

“Can we see Buck, yet?” he asks anxiously, not protesting when Eddie sits down and draws him back into his lap. Chirstopher hasn’t quite reached the stage that he doesn’t want to cuddle with him anymore, but it’s become a less frequent occurrence. Now, though, he just tucks his head under Eddie’s chin and twists his fingers in the front of his shirt.

“Not yet, buddy,” he says, his eyes never leaving Maddie as she talks to a tall satyr dressed in light blue scrubs that Eddie sincerely hopes is a charge nurse or something. “The doctors are still figuring out what happened and how to make him better.”

Chris mulls over that briefly and then asks, “But he’s gonna be okay, right?”

Eddie’s chest goes tight and hot at the soft, hesitant timbre of Chris’s voice, the fear that trembles under the words. He’d had to concentrate on Buck when his partner had suddenly collapsed right there in the kitchen, falling to the floor and convulsing before Eddie could even react. His whole focus had been on keeping Buck from injuring himself during the seizure, keeping track of how long it lasted, counting off Buck’s heartrate and breathing when the convulsions had lessened and rattling off his stats to the 9-1-1 operator. He’d tried to be gentle when he took his phone from Chris’s shaking hand, squeezing his son’s arm and telling him to go and sit in the living room until the paramedics came…but he knows Chris had been scared.

So had Eddie.

He tightens his arms around Chris, dropping a kiss on the top of his head. “He started to wake up on the ride here, remember? I know it was scary, but it’s really good that he woke up so fast after the seizure ended. The paramedics weren’t worried about his vitals. We got him here fast and the doctors are with him now. You did a great job helping me and staying calm. I’m so proud of you, mijo,” he says, careful with his words and hating that he can’t make himself just promise Christopher that everything will be all right. He knows better than to make promises he might not be able to keep, though.

And sure, he knows that everything he’s saying is true.

It had been terrifying to watch the color suddenly start draining from Buck’s face, beads of sweat popping up on his forehead before he’d made a horrible, choked noise and simply…dropped. But apart from the very real concern of the fact that Buck doesn’t have a history of seizures, there had not been anything out of the ordinary about the episode. Hen and Chimney are in agreement that the only red flag about the seizure is that Buck had it at all. It probably wouldn’t be very comforting to the average person, but Eddie is a medic. A by-the-books medical event is always better than something outside the norm. He knows that.

He just also knows that the singular red flag of Buck having the seizure at all is a big red flag.

He holds Chris closer, and cannot help the litany of side effects that can arise from catastrophic backlash shock and DMCD from running through his head. Buck’s recovery from the backlash shock has been nothing short of miraculous. He should have some kind of impairment, some kind of physical or mental aftereffects. It’s gotten to the point that Eddie has heard him open his follow-up appointments by announcing, “No I’m not lying about how I’m feeling, and I have two paramedics who will swear they checked all my vitals within the last twenty-four hours.”

Just…what if he wasn’t as lucky as they all thought he was? What if there is something lurking, something that all the scans and x-rays and runic scrying hasn’t detected.

What if it’s not related to the backlash shock at all?

Buck is still cursed.

His partner is still a changeling child.

It’s something he’s been trying not to think about, something he’s been trying not to consider. But watching as Maddie nods along to whatever the nurse is saying—the waiting room is too busy, he can’t catch more than every few words—a tight, worried frown pinching her brow…he remembers the Cunningham girl. Changelings do not live as long as Buck has. They just don’t. He’d been unable to keep himself from one of the kind of research binge that’s usually more Buck’s territory, since learning of his partner’s curse. What he’s learned is the stuff of nightmares. It’s not just the horrific way that changeling children die when their magic is harvested. It’s the fact that as rare as the curse is, it’s even rarer for them to get to that point. Most experts estimate that something like ninety percent of changelings don’t even make it to ten years old. The magic is too much, their bodies unable to take the strain.

Eddie can’t actually wrap his mind around a quantity of magic that his partner wouldn’t be able to wield with an ease that bordered on elegance…but Buck doesn’t have his magic anymore. What if—what if there’s some other element of the curse, something that no one’s ever seen before simply because no one ever sees a situation like Buck’s? What if the Fae that started all of this is trying to find some way to circumvent the protections that Buck somehow has, out of malice or a desire for revenge or, God help him, as a way to try and force Buck to reconnect with his magic?

The questions swirl in his mind as he holds his son and watches Maddie, just praying for answers.

[thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog]

911 Spoilers Season 4: You’ve been warned. 😅 Buddie Rewatch

Episode 13: Suspicion

Brideliza Lie Detector: Eddie is using the fire extinguisher to put out the hotel fire. Buck asks the bride if she’s getting ready for a wedding, confused by the lie detector in the room.

Eddie looks around for cameras as he asks if they are in a reality show.

As the bridesmaids explain that the bride is trying to find the person who bashed her online is, Buck is looking around the room, makes eye contact with Eddie.

As the Bride gets up complaining about not going to the ER, Eddie backs away fairly quickly. Buck is in the background just watching.

Buck decides to chime in about watching a makeup tutorial online, where the person painted her face like a skull. Eddie looks over at Buck very confused as he’s telling this story.

Eddie chiming in about how the bride’s face will be covered by a veil. Eddie and Buck are now standing near each other as the bride processes her hair and makeup situation.

Eddie and Buck are standing right near each other when everyone starts confessing to be the online snitch.

Eddie’s eyes go wide as he looks over and observes everyone’s reaction. (This boy really loves chisme)

As it gets more dramatic with Mom confessing, Buck is laughing and looking over at Eddie, Eddie looking over at him. They really love the drama.

As the bride yells for everyone to get out, Eddie does a scared little jump that Buck notices.

When bride notices her dress is burned up and starts crying, Buck says sorry about the dress while running out. Eddie right behind him says good luck with the wedding.

Eddie is organizing throw pillows on the couch, moving them back and forth and fluffing them. He asks Ana and Chris if it looks better.

They are standing off to the side, Ana resting her hand on Chris’s back as she hesitantly comments that it looks the same.

Ana looks down at Chris, both are smiling, as Eddie states he just wants everything to be perfect. There is a knock on the door, Christopher walks over to open it.

Carla is on the other side and gets a huge welcoming from Chris. Eddie and Ana are in the back ground watching as they hug.  

Eddie walking over, honestly can describe it as a little prance over, to join in on the hug. The camera pans over to Ana who looks happy, but is awkwardly looking over at them.

At the dinner table everyone is laughing and having a good time listening to Chris tell a story. When Eddie attempts to get up with his empty plate, Ana stops him offering to clean up instead. 

Carla offers to help clean up and is yelled at by Chris, that she’s not allowed to go into the kitchen. Ana adds that they have business to take care of and will be right back. Ana and Chris go into the kitchen.

 Eddie tells Carla how much she’s been missed. They catch up a bit. Eddie mentions how much Chris loves having Ana around. Carla asks Eddie how he feels about Ana. Eddie laughs and says it is nice.

He describes being with her as easy. Carla specifies that Ana is lovely and she’s glad he is moving on, “but just be sure that you’re following your heart, not Christopher’s, okay?” Eddie looks at Carla, processing what she said and is confused.

Carla has not seen this man in about a years’ time. She experienced her own traumas during this pandemic and one of the first things she does is clock Eddie on being in a relationship for the convenience. You don’t just tell someone you know to remember to follow their heart, if you think they are following their heart. You give that advise to someone that you know is holding back or not being 100% truthful. Carla spent maybe an hour or two with them and clocked Eddie not being all in on the relationship. She knew before he even knew.

 Ana and Chris interrupt the conversation by yelling surprise. They come out with two cakes filled with candles, wishing Carla a Happy Birthday. Stating they are celebrating for they two birthdays they missed.

Eddie starts to light all the candles and Carla makes a joke about how lucky they are to have a firefighter in the house.

Chris is laughing hysterically at the joke and Ana is smiling at Chris. She pulls him into a hug and they are happy together.

Eddie is looking over at them and he looks like he’s processing new information. Eddie becomes a bit uncomfortable.

Mom falls thru balcony: Buck and Bobby are on top of the Engine, Buck getting ready to climb up the ladder.  Eddie is standing right behind him.

Buck climbs up the ladder to the balcony right below the victims. The neighbor comes out, with headphones on getting to cook steaks.

Buck waves over at him, getting his attention and asking for permission to use his balcony. Buck and Bobby get off on the balcony below the victim.

Eddie climbs the ladder and lands on the balcony the victim is holding onto.

He hops on to the balcony and makes small talk (it comes across a little flirty, but he is just being nice) with the victim as he secures her in.

Bobby and Buck are securing a board underneath her, just incase she falls.

Eddie reassures the victim that she’s not going to fall, but that he needs to go let the paramedics in, and he’ll be right back.

As he enters the home, he calls the son, Charlie, a hero for doing the right thing and calling 911.

As Chim and Hen are on the balcony, Buck and Bobby make it upstairs. Buck and Eddie are standing near each other as Hen gets vitals.

Buck and Eddie are instructed to wear safety lines, before they step on to the balcony, just in case. They start prying away at the wood, creating a bigger hole, and freeing the mom.

Eddie has her wrap her arms around his neck as he lifts her up with Buck assisting and into the inside of her apartment.

Eddie places her onto the gurney. Mom starts freaking out about going to the hospital, because there is no one that can watch her son.

She informs Bobby that Charlie can't go to the hospital because of an auto immune disease. Eddie is looking over at Charlie intently. Buck is in the background observing.

Eddie without a single hesitation offers to stay behind and watch Charlie, mentioning that he has a kid around his age. He doesn’t take no as an answer.

Bobby pats him on the arm as the rest of the 118 walks out the apartment. Eddie asks Charlie if he wants to help out with cleaning up the ropes.

Eddie and Charlie are on face time with Carla and Chris. Charlie telling Chris he’s lucky that his dad knows how to cook.

Chris is surprised by the compliment and asks Charlie if he’s sure his dad didn’t buy take out and Carla joining in on the joke.

I love how Chris is always making fun of his dad’s cooking.

Charlie spills his drink, and Eddie gets up and starts looking for napkins. While grabbing the napkins, he notices a bunch of eye drops.

Eddie cleans up the mess as Charlie explains that he doesn’t go to school because he’s sick and has to see a lot of doctors. Chris asking what kind of doctors. Charlie responds with how he doesn’t know, all kinds of doctors.

Eddie hearing multiple doctors, comments about how expensive that must be and asks about the mom’s job. Charlie reveals that she takes care of him full time and that they get funding from go fund me pages.

Mom comes back at that exact moment and gets hyper concerned about that fact that Eddie made Charlie lunch.

Eddie states that he knew she would be tired from being at the hospital and didn’t want her to worry about feeding him. Charlie reassures her that he’s feeling fine.

Eddie is looking at mom, I want to describe it as admiration, for all the work she puts into caring for her son.

Charlie introduces Christopher to his mom. Chris says hello and good bye. Eddie ends the facetime.

Charlie asks about the possibly hanging out with Chris in the future. Mom gives and uncertain answer. Eddie looks over at Charlie with a look of sympathy.

Eddie, Carla, and Chris are together picking up toys and books with the plan to give the items to Charlie.

Chris making it a point to mention he’s will to give Charlie a few video games that he hasn’t played in a while. Eddie turning down the idea because he didn’t remember seeing a tv at the apartment.

Ana walks in, comments about how generous Chris is being. She asks to speak with Eddie alone.

As Eddie gets up and is about to walk out the door he pauses and tells Carla to now let Chris give away everything in the house.

Ana and Eddie walk into the kitchen, Ana starts explaining how she thought about Charlie and the mom’s story and looked up the Fund me page with the hope to donate to and spread the link around.

She tells Eddie that she has a weird feeling about Mom.

Eddie’s confused stating that is a quick conclusion, given that they’ve never met. Ana explains that she found a ton of weird stuff online about her and that she thinks Eddie was lied to.

The scene cuts to Carla, Eddie, and Ana sitting together in the kitchen going over multiple fundme pages from with Shelia (Mom) and Charlie from around the USA with different last names.

Eddie states that Charlie did mention moving around a lot and that would explain the different cities and different fund me pages, but not the different last names.  

As they talk more about Charlie, Eddie mentions how Charlie’s sickness never had a diagnosis, they just used vague terminology like autoimmune.

They all start piecing together that all the information they know about this woman and Charlie’s treatment is suspicious.

Ana points out the comments on most of the fund me pages that are shut down, share the same sentiment of mom is lying, a scammer, and that she’s making her kid sick.

Eddie disgusted at that possibility.

Buck and Chim walk into the fire station, they make note that B shift must still be out on a call. Eddie walks out of the locker room dressed up for work and rubbing his eyes. Buck pointing out that Eddie was their early.

Eddie responds with he could not sleep and goes on to immediately tell Buck and Chim about how he thinks the mom they saved the other days is making her son sick.

Eddie reveals to having tracked down people that knew them in the past. All evidence he finds points to Sheila purposefully making Charlie sick.

Eddie straight up accuses her of poisoning her son.Buck asks what he thinks she may be poisoning him with, Eddie unsure, until he remembers the eye drops he saw in the kitchen.

Eddie mentions having already called social services. Buck asks why she would do something like that.

Eddie brings up the multiple fund me pages and she’s most likely doing this for profit.

Eddie gets a phone call from Charlie. He asks Charlie if he’s okay and Charlie reveals that he did a bad thing and poisoned his mother.

Buck is driving the captain vehicle as Eddie is riding passenger. They show up on scene with the 133 to respond to the call.

They hop out of the vehicle, Captain Mehta runs toward Buck, who is in civilian clothing, if he was promoted to captain and he was not aware.

Buck responding with it was the only vehicle available at that time.

Eddie and Buck are the first ones to run into the apartment. Eddie running towards Charlie and making sure he’s okay before looking over at mom.

Eddie walks Charlie away and gets his side of the story as the 133 starts rescue measure. Buck stays with them and explains that Eddie thinks it maybe tetrahydrozoline poisoning.

Charlie explains that he always saw his mom put drops in her food, she thought he didn’t see, but he did.

Charlie only wanted to know what would happen if she gave them to her. Charlie apologizes for hurting his mother. Eddie stops him, tells him that he knows he didn’t mean to hurt him.

Buck points out that Charlie is also going to need treatment, he’s experienced the same kind of poisoning, just in smaller doses for a long time.

Eddie is walking out with Charlie as he’s being loaded into the ambulance.

Eddie explains that his mom will be going to a different hospital, because she’s sicker. Buck approaches Eddie. They look at each other as mom’s ambulance starts to drive off.

Eddie starts to blame himself. How he should have noticed the signs sooner and helped earlier. Buck immediately chiming in about how lucky Charlie was for meeting him.

Captain Mehta asks Eddie if he wants to ride with the kid to the hospital. Eddie responds with a yeah, but is cut off by the sound of a gunshot.

In a split second we see a bullet fly thru Eddie’s shoulder, Buck’s faces sprayed with Eddies blood.

Buck is shocked, he’s looking over at Eddie with wide eyes, Eddie is struggling to stay standing up right. The scene slows down slightly, Eddie and Buck are staring at each other, not reacting, barley processing what happened.

Eddie collapses on to the ground landing on his side. Buck is still standing, just looking and Eddie collapse, unable to process what just happened. People around them are running.

Eddie is looking up at Buck. Buck is looking down at Eddie. We see the unknown shooter, load another bullet.

Captain Mehta runs towards Buck, tackling Buck to the ground as another bullet is shot, this time hitting the truck.

Eddie is on his side, losing a lot of blood, his head is resting in a pool of his own blood. Eddie starts to slowly reach out in front of him, towards Buck.

Buck is underneath Captain Mehta, he’s directly at looking over at Eddie. Eddie is trying to lift up his head, he’s looking directly at Buck, they aren’t breaking eye contact.

Eddie reaches out again; his eyes start to roll back as he loses consciousness. Buck is laying on the ground, face to the floor, unable to look away from Eddie.

I wish I could watch this scene again for the very first time. I remember how my stomach dropped the first time watching. I was convinced I just saw a main character death. I had so many emotions running thru my head. I could barely accept that I just witnessed Eddie get shot. The way the episode started off lighthearted and ended in devastation.

[atonalginger]

Snippet Sunday

I was tagged by the lovely @eridanidreams and oh hey, Goose found something to read even as everything feels thrown to chaos. Let's see what he found...

Ah, another snippet of Lyssa and Constellation!Del in the lab on Kreet. This particular storyline is nearing it's conclusion behind the scenes. Not 100% on how I'm going to publish it yet, whether I'll release it like Unmistaken Identity as a stand alone or if it's the start of something longer...we'll see.

I think Eri managed to tag just about everyone so I'm going to extend a more general tag. You see this and you got something, join us and share. No pressure, as always!

anyway under let's see what Lyssa and Del are up to in this snippet Goose found...

--

“This puta had a pretty nice drum beat,” Delgado knelt down and pulled the gun out from under the dead pirate with the broken ripshank clutched in the mangled hand pinned to their neck, “large magazine and fully loaded.”

“And he wanted to dance with a toothpick?” Lyssa spat the words as she walked over, “has to be something wrong with it.”

He looked it over, slowly shaking his head as he aimed at the far wall away from them and fired a test shot, “no, everything looks good. Looks newly modded too.”

“Their loss,” Lyssa reached out to accept the gun from her handsome adventurer.

Delgado looked at her hand, then the gun, and stood up without handing it over, “what do we say?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. Part of her wanted to snatch it from him; she could tell he didn’t have a tight grip on the drum beat. But instead she played along, answering in a sarcastic sing-song manner, “thank you for the quality find, hand it over por favor.”

He handed it over with a chuckle, “you’re just full of surprises, mi tesoro.”

Yours? She wondered as she raised an eyebrow. It was the second time he’d called her that, her Spanish just rusty enough for her to know he was paying her a compliment but not good enough to know what it meant. Other than the fact that he called her ‘his’. “You get this way with all your potential recruits?”

He shook his head as he carefully made his way across the broken glass, shattered countertop, and slick viscera toward the metal stairs, “no, eres especial.”

Lyssa stood there, watching him climb the stairs, the creaking wheels in her head piecing it together. It felt simple enough: ‘no, __ special’ with the blank likely being ‘you’re’ but that just made an error sound in her mind. She was not, never had been, never would be special and nothing this smooth-talking adventure boy said would change that. You think you can say a few flowery words and make me melt? You really think I’m that easy?

“You aren’t having second thoughts about meeting with your old friend now, are you?” Delgado teased from the upper level. He leaned against the safety railing, looking down at her, the light dancing in his amber eyes.

“He is not a friend,” Lyssa snarled.

“Okay, okay,” Delgado held up his hands in surrender, “I just thought you were in a hurry.”

She snapped the drum beat to her boost pack and stormed up the stairs, closing on him quickly, hissing her words as she got in his face, “cut the shit.”

“All right,” he looked apologetic, the playfulness gone from his face and tone, “I didn’t mean to strike a nerve.”

“You didn’t?” she held firm, leaning him back on the safety rail, “been plucking it this whole time.”

“I was asking questions,” he reached out and touched her right forearm, “and maybe being a bit of a smart ass.”

“Just a bit?” she she angled her head to the side as she leaned closer.

“Do you want to kill the prick now or fuck around here until his buddies show up?” Delgado leaned forward, bumping his forehead into hers.

The warm cloves and vanilla hit her nose again, his lips tempting her. Delgado was infuriating to her: irritating to no end with his prodding questions, constant sneaking up on her, and incessant flirting. And yet he was charming all the while with an authenticity that felt like a true breath of fresh air for Lyssa. She lingered in the moment, breathing him in, feeling his closeness, yearning for more.

He touched her left cheek with his left hand and leaned in to kiss her again, an underlying hunger in the tenderness. The urge to shove him away surfaced but was ignored as she sank into his arms, allowing him to lead her back away from the safety rail and against the glass window, his right hand on her hip as her back touched the wall, his hips rocking into her once more.

Delgado kissed up her jawline to her ear, nuzzling her lobe with his nose before running his tongue up her sweat soaked neck and planting a love bite on the lower part of her neck, just under her suit’s neckline. Lyssa closed her eyes and let her head fall back, feeling simultaneously panicked and at ease. Something about this man made her melt like putty when he got his hands on her and she didn’t know how to handle it. Not even those wild blue eyes could do that to her, as much as he tried.

A metal creak around the corner caused them both to freeze, both heads perking up at the noise. They looked at each other with alert, anticipating eyes. A voice bounced down the hall and around the corner, clearly speaking to no one in particular, beginning in a mocking tone, “‘go see what’s taking so long. If Eddie and the others killed them they would have radioed’. Yeah, no shit, Bro. Just send the one rook in to check on whether Eddie and his flunkies managed to stop that bloodthirsty bitch and whatever shadow she’s got now.”

[tiger-is-a-certified-idiot]

I saw the 2:00 performance of Beetlejuice yesterday (December 30th) with Elliott Mattox as Beetlejuice and Dana Steingold as Lydia and I figured I’d document whatever differences I remember or that I found notable for those interested!

Mattox opened The Whole Being Dead Thing with the “Hey folks, ain’t it pretty! Guess who’s here in New York City?” lyrics

During the puppet show joke, Elliott pointed to a kid in the audience and said “wow! Really young. Interesting choice, parents!”

Mattox did add the “shit” after “Jesus I can’t spell”

He also said “and that is how I got herpes from Katherine Hepburn” instead of “made nachos”

Mattox sung the word “Helpless” (Hamilton reference) The crowd loved that. He didn’t say “skeeewp” during “Here’s help, here’s you… it’s less”

Leslie used “sadness is like a third nipple, no one wants to see it, but it’s a part of you” instead of the kale salad joke.

Dana took some extra pictures of Delia during No Reason and Leslie said “No paparazzi!” Instead of “Unicorns are scary!”

Dana had Lydia tell the Maitlands “you look like you run a failing coffee shop” and Adam says “I always wanted to run a failing coffee shop!” (I can’t remember if this is normally part of the script or not but I found it funny)

Elliott only has one Beetlejuice wig, so instead of “why is your hair purple” he said “why is your hair GREEN”

He also didn’t get red hair during his reappearance

Every magic trick worked! Including setting the suicide note on fire!

Since I haven’t seen it in any Slime, I feel like I should point out the light up game show sign above the stage that says “Life or Death” and turns into “Till <3 Death” during Creepy Old Guy

Instead of “Beetlejuice” David has Adam call BJ “Mr Juice” in a sort of angry/semi sarcastic Adam voice during the “you have touched me and harassed me and groped me” part, which was really funny.

The only-one-wig problem came back in the funniest way during Creepy Old Guy, the barber equipment fell away to reveal…the exact same hair as before (lmao)

Adam Dannheisser did an amazing job during the break in Home, he fake cried his lines and it was really raw and emotional. Dana did an incredible job performing the rest of the song as well.

Beetlejuice calls Delia “Jessica” instead of “Delilah” when saying his goodbyes

And then what you’ve all been waiting for: when making his final exit, carried by his clones, Mattox did the Defying Gravity riff and the crowd went MENTAL. It was AWESOME.

Everything else went off without a hitch! (If you ignore “Might not live till Tris-er, Christmas. ChoketodeathonTriscuits” (nice save, buddy)

Overall 10/10

Everyone did FANTASTIC and I’m so so stoked to have gotten to see the show before it closes.

And of course, if anyone saw the show and caught something I missed, please add on. I’m only one pair of eyes lmao.

[miguelillusion]

so I did it. Yipeeeeeee.

UPDATE: I changed the eye style a bit bc I didn't like the other one :[

"Why hello there!" He approaches you enthusiastically. It was a startling presence. "Are you lost 'ere too, buddy? Well, guess what? I am too! So we're lost together!" He points up his finger, then begins to search in his bag. He pulls out a glass bottle with a light, periwinkle blue liquid inside. He holds it out to you, "Look, friend. You ain't gonna get very far without some protection, and from the looks of it, you have near to nothing! So, here. My gift to you." You hesitate. He laughs, "Don't worry! I've got my own already." This boy shows his left hip. There are two more bottles, one red, one black, hung on his belt. You decide to take the bottle in his hand. It's cold.

"Wait. One thing," he says, "Use that sparingly. We don't want any..." He coughs, "Trouble, y'know?"

You nod. He smirks, "Good, you understand." He holds his hand out for a high five, "Now let's go get out of here, what d'ya say?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeesssss I did the DTIYS for Yasur.

This little guy's name is shArd. He used to be an elemental master of Amethyst, but he was stripped of that when he was Spellbound. Instead, he weilds two elemental bottles: fire (because of his culture's connections with it), and earth (core of where his element stems from).

Now for outfit design (dear first master)

shArd is sensitive to specific clothing options. Which is why you would often find him in sweats or really short shorts. Hence, i made the outfit more revealing. I split the skirt thingy down the middle, and did not add a cape. He believes it impacts his agility. He always adds fingerless gloves to everything. It's his little signature. Then there are the little charms (on his hat and the sleeve. He added these for aesthetic purposes, along with something just to hold. Added a little transparent sleeve. He likes his outfit content simple; nothing too bulky.

His wepon is a staff, but guess what. Ooh. It can become two baby daggers.

Base/Concept Art:

Sorry for terrible quality, I think clicking will make it better (that's what everyone else says).

But uhh yeah this was fun.

[xarrixii]

Chapter_18 : "Life + Lemons" ━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CW: previous chapter | beginning | masterlist

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ▼

“The entire point is that we receive short info snippets from an inside recruiter. You’re absolutely certain we should ask Blake?” Charlie, Afyer’s supervisor (although best known as Charles Acoprit), was smoking out in the lot, leaning against a black van. “Blake’s not much of a talker, you know that.”

“I know.” A smile crept onto Afyer’s face, poking his straw into the lemonade a few times.

“It’s been almost a month. I’m just making sure you understand what a waste of time and assets this could be if your hunch is wrong. Storm’s never recruited based on… what was it, mood? before.”

“Don’t be silly, Charlie, mood is what we feel when we read the notes. Tone is what our inside guy feels when they write the notes.”

“Difference is?”

“Nevermind. Is that Blake there?” Afyer gestures at the monitor Storm had in the middle of the lot’s ceiling.

“No shit, Sherlock. Wouldn’t be let into the garage otherwise.”

“Fuck you, Watson.” Afyer and Charlie jumped, simultaneously turning to face the person walking up from the elevator. They donned a smirk a few seconds later at Charlie’s aghast expression. “Damn, I have always wanted to say that.”

“Oh—Ah⸺”

Afyer beams. “Raijin? It’s a great honor to meet you in person. I’ve heard of your field work, you do amazing things out there. I always knew there were enough people dedicated to our cause to make a difference.”

Raijin looked taken aback, stuttering, “Er, right. Abolishing the system. That’s a new level of enthusiasm. Say, Charles, that is Blake driving up, yeah?”

“Yeah. Genius over here thought we may have found a gold mine. They’re not even passing their Cinder initiation, but Afyer’s insisting.” Charlie licks his lips a few times, stamping out their cigarette into the pavement.

“I needed an excuse to talk to him again anyway. Count me in.”

Afyer was the first to hold out a hand when Blake parked and exited his vehicle. “Hello! I’m Afyer Octave, Storm’s upper recruitment branch, former field operative.”

“The firecracker stage light incident?” Blake queried, impartial.

“You know!”

Blake redirects his attention. “Raijin, what the hell do these two want?”

Raijin shrugs. “I’d personally like to figure that out myself. Charles, if you could?”

“Uh, I think, this really was Afyer’s idea. I think, I think he should start off the explanation,” Charlie choked out.

Nothing could quite explain the amount of joy this prospect brought Afyer. “Of course! Now, you know future applicant 154? Pyrokinetic, still hasn’t passed an exam yet, ‘mostly not noteworthy’?”

“You called Blake up here over the words mostly not noteworthy?” Raijin cut Afyer off. “Are you trying to fuck around with our time?”

“Give credit where credit is due, I suppose. That recruiting bastard… Hasn’t asked for any of my input recently since I got stuck being the guy’s fucking exam buddy. Damn was upper recruitment a good choice for you.” Blake pinched his nose as Afyer lit up. “I’ll give the guy something, if Nacht can figure out the whole artificial kinesis tech, guy would demolish our electrokinetics if we made him one.”

“Oh, right. A PY that fights like an EK. Promising. You’re shitting me, right Blake?” Raijin steps forward and sets Afyer’s extended arm down.

“I think we’re forgetting the part he is staying conscious long enough to keep retaking that exam.”

“Not saying a lot.”

“Against me, Raijin.”

“Okay, fair point. But he still isn’t, y’know, worthy of Amaterasu’s attention, clearly must mean something.”

Blake mutters to himself. “I swear, Cinder knows I’m not one of theirs. It’s like they’re taunting me with this guy. Urban—potential applicant 154—hasn’t even shown off his fire. And he punched me in the face yesterday. I woke up a few hours later.”

“Brave, but stupid,” Afyer admits. “That must mean his kinetic is off the charts. Cinder has to be hiding one of their best operatives to date. Mmm, you’ve hit the jackpot this time, Afyer.”

Charlie blinks at him a few times.

Blake choose to ignore it, “I mean, he’s buddy-buddy with Amaterasu’s son for fuck’s sake.”

Afyer nodded along, taking sips from his lemonade all the while.

“Amaterasu has a child?” Raijin’s crossed arms fall apart.

“This is exactly why that fucking recruiter needs to talk to me more often than once every three months.” Blake takes a deep breath. “Afyer’s right. I think we need to go after a PY for once.”

“I’m a pyrokinetic, you know.” Afyer frowns.

“I meant it as in, like, we need to actively seek them out instead of them coming to us. You guys are monsters when you know what you’re doing.”

“Whatever. Charles, go let someone know about it later so we can get sailing on it.” Raijin begins walking back toward the elevator. “Blake, you up for a real sparring match?”

“Oh fuck you have no idea.” Blake runs after Raijin.

Charlie panics and wanders off with a new cigarette from his pack.

Afyer finishes off his glass of lemonade with determined glee.

next chapter

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ▲ missing a content warning? let me know

= lemonade...? oh, nope, it's not the time for that yet

i wonder what these rascals are plotting

[mojo-dojo-cracka-house]

Ayo buddy, watch it I'm waukin 'ere (Pinned Post)

Sup bitchesssss, we're a bunch of crazy people who are insane but also slightly funny but just slightly.

3 Mods:

@thebluekid-underyourbed

@chaosreinbrothered

@unknowncorvidae

This is a silly little family AU because we're a silly little hypothetical family!! We're a little stupid so be warned you might lose braincells.

Ursa: the world-weary mother. She’s given up trying to reign in the family and now just sits back and watches them commit arson and kill the world. A raging alcoholic but only for comedic purposes. She has a high tolerance to alcohol and never gets drunk. Could chug vodka without blinking. Loves both her queer and cishet kids and would snap the neck of anyone who dares even look at them in a rudely. Penguin.

Ad: the neighborhood kid. He’s not even part of the family biologically and legally speaking. One day they waddled up to Ursa and the next day Ursa announced everyone now had an emotionally adopted sibling. They hang out around the house and create chaos with the family. Tortures people for the heck of it (a telltale sign of potential serial killers, according to rumors), threatens to fuck people with Cranberry, commits arson with the Roomba (and is sometimes caught actively encouraging it to run over the dog poop and track it around the house), etc. A pleasure to have in class.

Splat: elder sibling who is shorter than everyone. Very smart and super cool. She’s probably the second-most sensible person in the family. Has her own fair share of a criminal record. Mostly physical assault and some light arson here and there. Barely has her life together but it makes her a funnier person so there’s that. Fucking legend. Controlled chaos.

Osmosis: younger sibling who towers over everyone. Has never cussed, will never cuss, does not cuss. He does, however, willingly be the Guy In The Chair. Is the distraction in most crimes. Is the sneaky boi too. Likes setting off the plan. He’ll throw the bomb that will distract the guards, light the dynamite to draw away the police, etc. Enjoys coding. Has been known to tell the Roomba to draw dicks. Wholesome but will snap all 206 of your bones before finally killing you without hesitation or remorse. Weirdly obsessed with shoulders and Pokemon. Can code though, so there's that

Cranberry: middle child and middle height. Threatens to fuck literally everyone. Helps Ad catch the animals he tortures and watches. Points at every single fictional character and draws attention to their asses. Thinks the monkeys from Wizard of Oz were sexy. Cleans faer glasses with soap and water. Excels at school because of course fae does. Will break your shins. Enjoys finding loopholes to even the simplest instructions. A pleasure to have in class.

Ai: tired wine aunt. Aggressively ADHD. Best sister and aunt ever. Always sneaks candy in pockets, encourages crimes, doesn’t care about bedtimes, tells Ursa the kids behaved very well while she was out of the house thank you very much, etc (obviously Ursa knows but the house isn’t on fire so she considers that a win). Is drunk all the time, but somehow always manages to be a light drunk. Not drunk enough to crash the car, not drunk enough to be loopy, nothing. She is just always seen with a wine glass filled to the brim (never spilled anything in her life) and she always just seems sliiiiiightly tipsy. Never more, never less. Ursa says her sister seemed like that ever since they were kids.

Jiyuu: hobo. Always seen carrying around a sieve for some reason. Not even carrying around - it’s just in his pockets all the time. Jun Leaf calls it a holebowl and nobody has called it anything else. Hobo with a holebowl. Cranberry took one look at Jiyuu on his first visit to the family and promptly said, “You look like a hobo.” Jiyuu has never lived that down. Jiyuu enjoys teaching crimes and controversial stuff. He makes sure all the kids are aware that Australia is a lie. He talks about WWII and stuff and pins it on random people. He says murder is good and the kids repeat his arguments to everyone they meet. The hotdog guy at the baseball stadium did 9/11. Always manages to look 36 and 93 and 12 at the same time.

The Roomba (AKA Jun Leaf): mix of BB8 and Roomba. There’s no question in anyone’s mind that it is alive. It showed up one day and has just been in the house ever since. One day Ursa complained about the constant mess around the house, and the next day there was the Roomba. A few days later, Splat commented that the Roomba kept showing up in places that there was no way it could reach and it was almost like it was alive. They name it Jun Leaf as a joke. The next morn, the Roomba has Googly eyes taped on it. Nobody knows who taped the Googly eyes. Every 18th of November, the Roomba is found with a blue birthday hat.

Jun ?: an alternate? One day there was a kid on the couch sitting crisscrossed with the Roomba on his lap. Said he broken out of the mirror. He showed them the mirror that sat in the supply closet where the Roomba was supposed to always return to after doing it’s periodic cleaning of the house. It was broken. Nobody believed vim until ve said vis name was Jun ? and then held up the Roomba and asked for its name. Hangs around the house. Always has pieces of mirror in vis hair and clothes. Is the human embodiment of the Roomba. Often found with the Roomba in vis hands.

NotAd: Sometimes Ad shows up to the house hollering for blood. Other times NotAd shows up hollering for food. Ursa worried something happened to her child the first time NotAd made an appearance. NotAd is Ad just reversed. The family speculates NotHim to also be from the mirror (mostly because NotHim looks exactly like Ad but is left-handed). Somehow always has a mirror shard on NotHim (similar as to how Ad somehow always has a pocket knife). Palms of NotHis hands have scars that look like NotHe pushes their way through glass.

Oscar: Osmosis but as a virtual entity. Odiend2 first appeared on Osmosis' computer, much to Osmosis' surprise (he just walked in and there Odiend2 was, a perfect reflection of him waving at himself). Odiend2 has also showed up on the TV screen, spoke to the family through the TV speakers, and occasionally beeps the microwave in some form of code. The Roomba beeps back (somehow; the Roomba has no voice box). Odiend2 helps Osmosis out with coding but also enjoys randomly deleting files. An oddball (like Osmosis, lol) but he gets an excuse because he’s a virtual thing and cannot wreak actual havoc.

[senor-plume]

Sixteen Stitches

ivory skin splits open

on diseased gymnasium floor the blood drips

tears drop and a telephone is picked up

my kid got it good on the chin

i got nailed dad busted in the chops

I stick a red and blue screaming middle finger on the roof of my car and speed through traffic

exhausted elderly sit in high tech wheelchairs outside of the ER as my own four wheels come to a halt

a sack of potatoes under my arms asks about needles as we enter

I don’t know, maybe can’t lie to you man I don’t know, maybe

we wait with the sterile dust

we wait with dirty soaps blaring from the TV

we wait with coke machines fish tanks

we wait with the book nosed nervous

I spoon him fruit cocktail from his apple stained lunch box

we get our number jackpot at Vegas called

we rise and go as told by cotton crisp nurse behind medical machines

information given compassion is not as ice forms from her lips

no teddy bears no heck or howdy no poor cutie

just:

what happened? speak up! is he always this quiet? are you in pain? are you going to throw up? I’ve never seen a paler kid in my life.

on on on she spits

covered with snow we are fingered

go there

we go

we wait again

his fingers touching my neck as we walked that hall was the saddest thing I have ever felt

Frankenstein stitches will sew him up

I tell him yes yes needles dude

his eyes water color a sad portrait and defying gravity his pupils go up and into mine

its ok dad. can we go to mcdonald's after this i’m hungry

yeah buddy a chicken nugget for each stitch you get

he cries into my twig arms

I put wipers on my glasses and head out

he got sixteen dead chicken parts in his belly an hour or so later

he fell… slipped into sleep with his chin bandaged with ketchup rings around his lips like the ice circling Saturn

but he's a warm blanket now

a living breathing no place like home

his belly rising up and down slow like smoke in a draft less room is the sweetest thing I have even felt

the Antarctic melts

it’s been a long day

I turn the lights off and worm my way next to him

sleep twig in fire

my arm across his stomach

I can hear the rain bullet the roof as I also drift off

[choicescounselingsc]

First Responders and Mental Health: Suicide Prevention Month

By a former first responder

I know, it’s almost the end of September. But, September is Suicide Prevention Month. It is a touchy subject. Especially for first responders. I know we have all dealt with the general public and either suicide attempts or they’ve been successful. I can’t count how many calls I’ve dealt with that were either attempts or successful. They are so sad and its depressing. You often wonder if they had just had someone to talk to or if someone would have just noticed that something was “off” with them. I have had at least 2 where it was a complete surprise. One such incident, this older gent. He was so pleasant. He had called us to come get him out of the floor because he had fallen. We tried to get him to go to the ER. He finally said he’d go. So we transported. He had made statements like, his wife was out of town. He didn’t want to leave his home. We kept reassuring him that he was going to just go get checked out. He was okay with that. Fast forward to the end of my double shift. We got a call out at his home. I didn’t see the note that was attached to his door we went in. I went down the hall, calling his name. There was a single light on in his house. I followed it and it lead to his bedroom. He was laying in the bed. Wet lung sounds. I went to him and tried to get him to talk to me. I pulled back the covers and discovered a weapon. Come to find out, he had contacted 9-1-1 to get us to come out. He told dispatch to send us out because he had fallen again. He said we had been so nice. Once he hung up the phone, he shot himself. We had gotten to him to soon as he was still breathing when we arrived. The note that was posted to the door was to his housekeeper. He wanted her to clean the house before his wife got home. He had prepped. He made “as little mess” as possible. He used pillows to keep the “mess” at bay. He also carefully chose a “less messy spot” to shoot himself. He had a plan. I beat myself up over it. If only I had listened more closely. I remember that call so vividly. Truthfully, there was nothing I could have done. He had made his mind up. He only told us that he didn’t want to leave his house. I know that many of you have had situations like this. This was before the Critical Stress Debriefing days. I was stressed beyond belief with that call and a few other suicides. What a lot of the “higher ups” fail to realize that those calls can be just as tough, if not worse, than other calls like the traumas out there. That’s why we must look after each other. Speaking of each other, how many of us have lost a co-worker to suicide? Here is a statistic for you from cssr.Columbia.edu. It is the Columbia Light House Project. In more than 1,000 firefighters, they found that nearly 50% had suicidal thoughts at some point in their career! About 16% reported one or more (!!) attempts. What?!? Survey of EMS 37% had contemplated and 6.6% have attempted it! Wow! That is way to many! In 2020, per USA Today, 116 police officers committed suicide were as there were 113 LODD. Though the number of police, fire and EMSnumbers could be higher due to the STIGMA! In the same article it said that EMS/Fire had 127 suicides in 2020 and in 2017 there were 126. (usatoday.com/higher suicide rate police firefighters mental health) Yall that is way to many!! 1 is too many. We need to help each other and break this stupid stigma. Get help. It is okay to not be okay. There are so many programs out there. Let me tell you, you are stronger than you think. There are people out there that know exactly how you feel. You are not alone. It may feel like it. That one buddy that is ‘to busy’ to stop and talk, find another one. There are numbers to call. There are plenty of people out there that want to talk to you. Please, please reach out. You will be missed by someone!! You are stronger than you think. You just need to prove it to yourself. 9-8-8. Call it. I understand that the weight of the world could be on you. You need to call 9-8-8 and let someone help you relieve that weight. That burden.

I’ve talked about it before, contact your HR and get your EAP to give you some free sessions. Its confidential. If you are in South Carolina, contact us here at Choices Counseling. 803-851-4049. We would love to help you, to listen to you and give you some tips to ease you on your journey. If you are out of the area, please call 9-8-8 and get your local resources. EAP can help you find a resource as well. You don’t have to fight alone anymore. Please take care of yourself, mentally, physically, and emotionally. You are loved and someone out there would miss you terribly. By Marie B. Suicide Hotline: 9-8-8

SAMHSA: 1-877-SAMHSA-7 (1-877-726-4727)

[campbluelake]

TIL TWs 💲 Jacky-Bobby | Trial 4.1 | RE: K, M

Here they are, once again deliberating on the murder of someone who shouldn't be dead. Full of life, Leon held an unparalleled level of vivacious energy. Sometimes, it was to a startling degree, with enough power to knock someone as jaded as Jacky-Bobby back. There had been more than one occasion where Leon had innocently said something alarming, but that was the thing: he was innocent—in a way that should've been protected.

How could anyone fault him for his naivety? He just had some growing up to do, that he wouldn't get to do anymore. Without him in the circle, the light cast by the campfire already looks so much duller.

Jacky-Bobby's gaze sweeps across the group. A fast check-in of how everyone's faring, simple accounting, without lingering on anyone in particular. If he's worried about someone or multiple someones, that's his business.

Never one to turn down kindness in the form of food, Jacky-Bobby's gotten himself one of everything that Buddy's made. He nods at Kyousuke, and then finds himself nodding at Malyce. Good start.

"Two additional points of note regarding Leon: dilated pupils, and yellowed eyes."

He hesitates, before deciding to follow Kyousuke's recommendation to the letter.

"'To talk about the fire for a sec.' Er. To talk about the accelerant to the fire, thus opening up conversation about said fire."

Pause.

"There was a melted fuel container, found close to Leon, with a strong smell. That's the accelerant to the... subject."

[cheapsiuu]

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[look-at-the-soul]

A day to celebrate

Tommy Shelby x reader (blurb for Father’s Day)

Tommy cracked an eye open carefully, the other side of the bed was still empty. He had been awake for a while but he was warned to stay in bed this time. Groaning, he turned to his bedside table to take his cigarettes and a lighter.

But as he was about to light it, he heard whispers and steps outside the bedroom, so quickly he tossed the lighter next to him and hid the cigarette under the pillow. He let himself fall against the mattress and pretended to be asleep just like his wife asked him to do.

“Are you sure he’s still sleeping?” Ruby asked tiptoeing.

“Can we wake him now?” Charlie looked up to you with his big green eyes, still with his bed hair.

“Just in a litt-” but the kids didn’t wait.

“Daddy wake up!” Ruby climbed on the bed and charged against your husband.

“Happy Father’s Day!” Cheered Charlie following his sister.

Cyril entered the room following your steps.

“Mmhmm.” Tommy groaned and opened one of his eyes a little. Opening his arms to get hugs from his kids. “You woke up before me.” He kissed Ruby’s hair then Charlie’s temple and looked up at you, a big smile lighting up his face, his gold tooth showing.

“Look what we did!” Once you made sure the cake wouldn’t end up all over the duvet, you helped Cyril up on the ramp Tommy bought so he could climb with you.

“That looks amazing.” While Tommy was inspecting the cake, you walked to the door to take the tray Frances was holding with coffee for you and Tommy and warm milk for the kids. “You made it?”

“Yeah.” Both children answered in chorus.

“Kids…” But your tone made them reveal a secret.

“Okay, Frances helped… a little.” Ruby admitted.

Tommy chuckled, he knew the kind of help that Frances had been giving all these years. His wife was a terrible cook, but he wasn’t going to point that out.

“Frances was scared I’d ruin the recipe, she didn’t let me help.” You confessed. “She didn’t even let me crack the eggs.”

“That’s because the last time she accepted your help you almost set the kitchen on fire, Mum.” Charlie pointed out as if nobody remembered the embarrassing incident. It was years ago, Charlie wasn’t even born yet, but all the Shelby’s made sure every new member of the family heard the story.

“That’s not how…-” But one look into Tommy’s eyes and he cut your defense. His smirk giving away it was exactly as it happened.

“Can we eat it now?” Ruby was growing impatient.

Cyril barked at them. He was drooling.

“Nope, this cake is for me buddy.”

“Alright let me cut the slices.”

Tommy took his cup of coffee and winked at you. “Two small for them, the rest is for me.”

Surprised, you looked at your husband, his free hand was on his bare chest.

“And what about me?”

“Okay, I think I can share a small bite with ya.” He winked, the smile reached his eyes.

“Thank you, love, how considered from you.” You joked. “Alright kids ready to give daddy his present?”

Ruby and Charlie got up and started jumping in bed, your hands went straight to protect the cake. The sound of his laugh brought an indescribable happiness to your heart.

Charlie went straight to the drawer were you kept the present, returning to bed a couple of seconds later. As Tommy untied the ribbon, you handed the kids the draws they made for their father.

“Are you serious?” Tommy looked at you, he knew the present had to be your idea. He held the gold case.

“Well, you’re smoking all the time anyways.”

“I love it, thank you.” Leaning on his elbow, he pulled you in for a kiss.

“I made this, daddy!” Ruby handed Tommy a draw of the four of them holding hands and Cyril sleeping next to Tommy’s feet.

“This is mine.” Charlie smiled shyly. Your boy handed his father a draw of him and a horse.

“I’m going to take down my horse painting and hang these up there. Now come ‘ere.” Looking up at you, Tommy invited you to the family hug.

“What are you doing there? Come here Cyril!” You called for the dog to get in the middle.

“This is all I need.” Tommy revealed looking into your eyes.

Tag list:

@lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @holacia2 @datewithgianni @peaky-cillian @onlydeadcells @gretelshelby @cloudofdisney @lespendy @fastfan & @shelbydelrey (tag for Cyril) @thomashelbyswhore (tag for blurbs)

[laxuscouldnever]

Laxus Dreyar x Exceed!Reader

Y/N walked around the dark forest, unsure of what lies around him. He held his tail in his hands and took slow steps. After the exceeds came to Earthland, they all decided to go their separate ways. Y/N didn't leave with anyone, he just walked towards the big forest. 

Y/N could see a small light ahead of him. A town, maybe? he thought, excitedly. He quietly crept towards the light. He hid behind a tree and looked towards the source. It wasn't a town, but a small campfire. A man was lying next to it, seemingly asleep. Y/N looked at the man's bag near the fire. He could see there were some fruits inside. As if on cue, the H/C exceed's stomach growled, hungry for some food.

The exceed thought for a moment. Would the man mind if he took just one piece of food? I'm sure he's got enough for himself. Y/N took a deep breath and slowly made his way towards the bag. He quietly crept around the sleeping man and opened the bag, just enough to reach his paw in and grab something. 

The man heard the rummaging and slowly opened his eyes. He saw the cat and sat up. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked, sternly. The excess jumped up, startled by the loud noise. He didn't say anything, just looked at the man. "You gonna explain yourself or just stare at me like I'm stupid?" the man sat up all the way and stared down Y/N. "I-I was just, er, checking for...bugs! Yeah, just making sure your food is clear of bugs!" Y/N said nervously. 

"You're one of those weird cats? Like Natsu's little cat." the man pointed out. "Y-Yes, I'm an exceed. From Edolas!" Y/N said. The man didn't say anything. "If you're hungry, you can say so. I don't mind," the man said, his face softened at the cat. "Really? Are you sure?" the man chuckled. "Yeah, I'm sure," Y/N pulled out the orange he had found and slowly began eating it. "You eat the peel?" the man said in disbelief. Y/N nodded. "You don't?" he questioned. The man shook his head but said nothing.

"So, cat, you got a name?" the man asked as Y/N finished up the rest of his snack. "Yeah, I'm Y/N. What's your name?" Y/N said, walking to sit over by the man. "Laxus," he said. "Laxus. Are you a wizard?" Y/N asked. "Yeah," Laxus said, reaching his hand out to show Y/N a few sparks of lightning. 

The exceed watched in awe. "Wow! That's so cool!" he exclaimed. Laxus smiled. "So, where you headed?" Laxus asked. "I don't know. I don't know where anything is." Y/N admitted. Laxus thought for a moment. "You can come with me if you'd like," Laxus suggested. "You'd let me go with you?" Y/N asked, hopeful. "Yeah, I don't mind having a road buddy." Laxus smiled softly at the excited cat. "Yeah! I'd love to go with you!" The exceed jumped a little bit. Laxus let out a little laugh. 

"We should probably get some sleep. We'll be walking a lot." Laxus suggested. "Ok! Let's get some sleep!" Y/N said. Laxus laid back down and began falling asleep. He felt some fur against his hand and cracked his eyes open. Y/N had curled up right next to Laxus. Laxus patted his head and went back to sleep.

From that day on, Laxus and Y/N became inseparable. They were partners in everything they did. Laxus would carry Y/N if his feet got tired and Y/N would fly into the trees to get some of the fruits. They were a perfect team. 

One day, Laxus decided to go to Fairy Tail's sacred island. He felt as though something was wrong and needed to figure it out. "Is this safe?" Y/N was a little nervous about Laxus using his Lightning Body spell on the both of them. "Yeah, don't worry about it. You trust me don't you?" Laxus asked. Y/N nodded and clung onto Laxus. In a split second, Laxus and Y/N were in a large ship. A man with long gray hair and an eyepatch stood in front of them. 

Y/N felt fear creep into his body and hid behind Laxus. "Laxus?" a familiar voice said from behind them. "Natsu! Hi!" Y/N said excitedly. "Hey! You're one of the exceeds! What are you doing with Laxus?" Natsu asked. "Nows not the time for a catch-up. Get him somewhere safe, would you?" Laxus said. Y/N quickly flew over to Natsu. "Are you ok?" Y/N asked. "It's just some bruising! No big deal!" Natsu said with a smile. 

They watched as Laxus and Hades fought. Y/N was always so impressed with Laxus every time he used his magic. It looked so cool and Laxus was so strong. When Laxus got hit and was paralyzed, Y/N felt his heart drop. "Laxus..." he said worriedly. "Natsu? Can you take it over from here?" Laxus asked. "Yeah, I got it, man," Natsu said, standing up from his spot on the ground. Laxus gave some of his power to Natsu and took the chance to rest. Y/N quickly flew over to his dragon slayer partner. "Laxus? Are you alright?" he asked. "Yeah, don't worry about me. I'm good," Laxus reassured him. 

When Hades was finally defeated, the members left the ship and went to find the rest of the Fairy Tail members. "Over here guys!" a blue-haired girl yelled. There was a group of people standing around, some of them wearing bandages in multiple places. "Levy! I'm so glad you're okay," Lucy said. The group of wizards walked over to join their friends. "Laxus, what are you doing here? This is sacred Fairy Tail land and you're still expelled," a short man said angrily. "Yeah, I know. I just felt something was wrong and had to come and make sure you were all safe," Laxus said. The short man turned his attention to Y/N. "I see you've found yourself an exceed," he said. "Hi! I'm Y/N," the small cat said. "It's nice to meet you," he said. 

Later on that day, Makarov found himself watching Laxus and Y/N interact. Laxus reached inside of his bag and handed the cat an orange, something the cat looked extremely happy to see. Makarov's face changed to an expression of disgust when the cat didn't even bother to peel the fruit before taking a big bite of it. "I don't get why you don't just peel it. Orange peels are absolutely disgusting," Laxus said. "It's good! Your tastebuds are just stupid," Y/N said. "That doesn't even make any sense, furball," Laxus snapped. This just caused Y/N to laugh at Laxus. 

Suddenly, there was a shift in the atmosphere. Laxus found himself immediately grabbing Y/N and pulling him close. "L-Laxus? What's wrong?" the cat asked. "I don't know," Laxus said. There was a large shadow cast over the group of mages. They all looked up and saw a huge black and blue dragon circling the island. Y/N held onto Laxus's shirt out of fear. "It's okay. I won't let it hurt you." Laxus patted the cat's head, reassuring him. Y/N had complete faith in his partner and trusted him with his life. "I trust you, Laxus," he said. Laxus smiled at the cat and prepared to battle with the rest of his ex-guildmates. 

The rest of the Thunder Legion gathered near Laxus. "I hope that cat isn't some replacement for us," Evergreen said jokingly. Laxus smiled at her. "Nah. He's more of an...addition," he said. Evergreen and Bickslow made sounds of understanding. "It's nice to see you again, Laxus," Freed said, taking his spot next to Laxus. Laxus smiled and nodded at the man. 

Attack after attack and nothing seemed to leave scratch on the beast. "Laxus, what are we going to do?" Y/N asked, panicking. "Don't worry, we'll be okay," Laxus said, panting. Y/N felt his body start to tremble in fear. Laxus felt it, too, so he reached over and patted the cat's head. "You'll be fine, I promise. Have I ever let you get hurt?" Laxus asked. "Well, there was that one time-" Laxus cut him off. "That was completely your fault! You should've watched where you were flying!" he said. "You should've warned me there was a huge tree in the way!" Y/N argued. "We were in a forest! Of course there were trees!" Laxus said. "Now is not the time for arguing. We have a bigger problem at hand," Erza snapped at the two. 

And with one attack from the beast, the world went dark. Laxus held Y/N as close as he could, protecting him from whatever would happen, but it was no use. The entire island sunk.

[popchoc]

Maya and Carina 16, please? Thank you for doing this 😘

Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca, Station 19

16: "You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes."

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Maya opened her eyes, fighting against the bright lights of the ER. She wasn't surprised to be in the hospital - she remembered that part - but she was surprised to wake up in it. When did she pass out?

"Hi there," a voice next to her said, "I thought Captains didn't had to run into fires?"

Maya glanced to her side, into the face of someone who looked strangely familiar. Wait, wasn't this the woman she'd met at Joe's a few nights back? She blinked again. Yep, definitely her.

"What— What are you doing here?" she asked, coughing and rubbing her throat, that felt scratchy and painfully dry.

The woman handed her a cup of ice chips, which Maya gratefully accepted.

"I work here," she shrugged, like that explained it all. It didn't matter, Maya was already distracted by her smile. It made her remember. Carina. She was pretty sure her name was Carina.

She narrowed her eyes. "Aren't you a baby doctor?!"

"Close," Carina snorted, "But you've got a point. I'm not your doctor. I just happened to be in the ER when they brought you in. I recognized Dr. Warren - Ben, I mean - and then saw you were with him. I got to you just in time."

Maya sat up, propping herself against the pillow. She cleared her throat again. "In time for what?"

"For catching you. You fainted… straight into my arms." Leaning in a little, as if to share a secret, her smile grew into a mischievous grin. "You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes."

To her own astonishment, Maya laughed along, and not just to be polite. There was something very infectious about this woman. And something very commendable. Just like the other night, she managed to make Maya feel better without seemingly trying.

Yet the laughing also reminded her of the reason why she was here. "So, how am I doing?" she asked after another sip of ice chips.

"You've got a mild degree of smoke inhalation," Carina started to explain. "Your throat got the worst of it, but you'll live. That is, if you keep your mask on when you're supposed to."

Maya had no clue what Ben had told them after arriving, but there was no denying this fact. When her team had gotten into trouble, she'd felt forced to join them. And when that beam had come down, hitting Ben in the face and breaking his mask, they'd had no other choice then to buddy breathe their way out of there.

But that didn't seem like a story Carina wanted to hear. So she just nodded.

"Bene," Carina smiled once more, while getting up. "It was good to see you again. Not because of this, of course," she pointed at her throat, before gesturing at Maya's face, "but because of that."

Maya frowned, not understanding, but then it hit her: she must have been covered in soot!

Instinctively, she covered her face - though clearly way too late - drawing another chuckle from Carina.

"Don't! You look very, uhm..."

"Dirty?" Maya suggested from behind her arms.

"Badass," Carina winked, a hint of pride in her voice for finding the right word. "Listen, I've got to go, but I want to make a deal with you."

Praying to herself she hadn't screwed anything up, Maya slowly lowered her arms, her eyes squinted in expectation.

Carina reached her a piece of paper.

"Here's my number," she smirked, "Do me a favor, bella. Next time, just call."

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150 random writing prompts (closed)