#life on hard mode

[why-do-i-need-this2]

Do you ever look at your hands holding your phone and feel physically like ‘whose hands are those? I am typing now with thumbs that don’t feel like mine. As I type slowly I start to feel them again.

Is this disassociating?

[aidaronan]

Eddie getting a late adhd diagnosis.

Starting meds.

Being both elated and irritated because "wait, is this what it's like for everyone else? What the actual hell??"

[remirixjones]

The best part [sarcastic] of ADHD is when you finally Do The Thing™️, and instead your brain squeezing out a single molecule of dopamine for Doing the Thing™️, it instead scolds you for not Doing the Thing™️ sooner.

[cr0ssfortune]

guess who finished innocent sin

[fintrafeatherfall]

petra. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[thelailasblog]

[silusvesuius]

nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am

[heybiji]

double life

[russenoire]

that scene in season 1 where teruki hanazawa exorcises ekubo mid-sentence... and shigeo's eyes widen in shock?

i really want to talk about it, specifically the explosion meter accompanying it.

normally, when the teenager's emotions aren't obvious to the audience, that meter relays to us a sense of what he is actually feeling. but we cannot trust the meter here. we see it jump up a few points at teru's 'psycho wave' sending the sleazy ghost to the shadow realms, and remain steady at 50% upon shigeo's recollections of the spirit's unsavory nature. the boy outright tells teru that he isn't bothered. and it's funny!

but shigeo isn't being honest with himself here either.

his face briefly gives his feelings away before resettling into its normal flat affect. (to be fair, what he's really feeling isn't teru's business. this kid is trying to provoke a fight out of him, after all.) after he's basically tortured into exploding, shigeo spends three hours in the pouring rain, searching everywhere for ekubo.

three. hours.

these are not the actions of someone who isn't bothered. letting himself get drenched to the point of sickness,

even though he literally holds the power to shield himself from it,

reads to me like unconscious self-punishment for allowing all this to happen.

after a large chunk of his short life spent denying and fearing them for good reason, shigeo's first impulse is often not to use his psychic powers -- even after his integration at the story's end. i wish this was discussed more, because many watchers cannot fathom why this boy with world-breaking psychic abilities would ever refuse to use them.

also: the explosion meter lying to us / representing shigeo's detachment from his own emotions alexithymia may occur elsewhere in the series as well, especially when he's not close to an explosion; i'm reminded of the tiny dent ritsu's provocation of him makes in it a few episodes later.

[lastoneout]

robert frost was so right the woods are lovely dark and deep but lord I sure do have promises to keep

[why-do-i-need-this2]

Today was bad. A goblin was in my brain. I yelled at tech support at work. Hung up on them after saying ‘ I will just let my manager know I won’t be working next week since I can’t work’ mic drop

[burned-out-baddie]

100 Days of Productivity: Day 4/100

I am so super surprised that I ended up actually finishing all that I needed to do this week.

Productive:

Did 2 Chemistry assignments

Worked through Chemistry practice problems

Submitted a Pre Calc quiz

Wrote lecture notes for Biology

Self Care:

had a breakfast I have been craving for weeks (eggs benedict)

re-read old journal entries

song of the day: When - dodie

[scarringstars]

life with derek | puppy dog tails

[autobot-bumblebee]

can I offer you a crossover doodle in these trying times?

[rockium-z]

the star of the show!

@entityneo

[thelailasblog]