#life of a ro

[notsuchasecret]

Thanks for the tag @kyothinks !

Decorate my tree!

Tagging @ezzydean, @cattatonically, @oloreandil, and @chaosdragonhoard!

[notsuchasecret]

My mom was a master at this. When I was a baby, she and my dad went to buy a minivan. We lived in Salt Lake City at the time, where it was expected even more than in other places that the man would take the lead. But my mom always made more money than my dad, and she knew exactly what she was doing.

They got sat down with the salesman and she laid out exactly what she wanted. He would direct his answer to my dad every time. She would answer every question he asked my dad herself. My mom was not someone to go against in a battle of wills. I'm only half as stubborn as she was and I can win a staring contest with a rock. They go back and forth a few times until they're almost at a number my mom can afford, but not quite. And then the salesman bangs his hand on the table and says, and I fucking quote, "C'mon, lady, how many ho-hos do you have to give up to get in this van?"

My father went to stand up to defend his wife's honor. My mother put a hand on his chest and pushed him back into his seat. She leaned forward very calmly and said, "I don't know. How many ho-hos do you have to shove up your ass to save this sale?"

And then she stood, gathered my carseat, my father, and my brother, and went across the street to another lot where she said "[salesman] at [competition] failed to meet my terms. What do you have?"

That salesman got her in the van she wanted but the upgraded model, for less money. And then when they got home, they realized they didn't have my diaper bag. But before they could do anything, that salesman from the second lot showed up at our house and said "I'm so sorry I took the liberty of looking at your paperwork, but I thought you would need this," and handed over my diaper bag. I'm a 90s baby, so they didn't have cell phones to call and I guess they hadn't been home to pick up the landline. This salesman was literally on his way to a wedding and made a detour to drop off my diaper bag.

The first lot had a slogan about making friends for life. My dad wrote a letter to that lot detailing their experience that ended with "Thank you for making [second lot] a friend for life."

The moral of the story is that if you don't react to their fear tactics, and if you're willing to walk away and go next door and tell the same terms and stand your ground there too, you will almost always get better care and a better deal.

Ive said this before but swear the biggest skill to learn as an adult is how to resist high-pressure sales tactics. You do NOT have to answer questions with anything other than "Sorry I'm not interested." No matter how nice they are or no matter how many follow up questions they ask or even how agitated they get when you stand your ground. Just keep saying I'm not interested. Don't answer their questions. Don't give them an opening to try to push back on your reasons. Be a fucking brick wall of I'm not interested.

[alpacacare-archive]

the brainworms are kiiling me. have a dad and son 👍︎

[jeyneofpoole]

dany shouldn’t be at the club she should be at the barn that she mucks out as a summer job forming an unbreakable psychospiritual bond with the horse that no one before her could ride (he’s misunderstood) and then they go to City and win Big Show together so he doesn’t have to be put down for his behavioral issues and also he finally jumps the water obstacle (reoccurring metaphor for the struggles they’ve gone through as a team) and she makes enough prize money to buy him forever the final shot is of her bareback riding him into the sunset as a pop song about being free from 2010 plays in the background. if you even care.

[uncanny-tranny]

Begging, begging, begging people to stop associating aging and femininity in men/masculine people as Wrong and Predatory. Femininity has no age limit.

To any feminine man, masculine person, or really, anybody who needs to hear this: Your femininity deserves to be recognized and celebrated. Aging is a natural and unique part of life, and you don't have to sacrifice your femininity for fear of being "too old" to be accepted or seen as charming. You are already charming.

There is no limit to being who you are. No matter what you're told, you still deserve to completely claim yourself.

[kitkatdoodlez]

Tennis is a relationship

Thank you challengers for literally changing my life

[mcytegg]

i love ros and clown so much, hes her scary dog privilege 🤏🤏🤏

[fortunafavours]

Welcome to Fortuna, Kingdom of Splendor!

demo • FAQs • bsky

You are the bastard child of the king’s cousin, you’ve never been anyone special. The Crown made sure of that. Taken in by your father after the death of your mother, you were never allowed to speak of your parentage under threat of being sent to an orphanage, so you took on the role of servant to your father's house. Now, just before your thirtieth birthday, you’ve begun having a strange, recurring dream: something beneath the mountains knows your name—something ancient—and it wants you to find it. But the stone isn’t the only thing after you. According to your oldest friend, an elite team of sorcerers from a group known as SCEPTRE are interested in speaking with you—by order of the king. And that's nothing to say of the rumblings of discontent in the streets, led by someone known only as the Crow. Apparently, they've got eyes on you, too. Why have you suddenly become the centre of attention? You’re nobody special. …Aren’t you?

Fortuna Favours the Bold is a low fantasy, high stakes, romance forward tale about self-discovery and buried secrets. Unearth the truth of what waits under the mountain, find out who you really are, and try not to get yourself blown up along the way!

It draws inspiration from media like Dragon Age: Origins, House of the Dragon, the Elder Scrolls series, as well as a myriad of Dungeons & Dragons campaigns I've been a part of, and other similar stories. If you like any of those, you might like Fortuna!

Fortuna is currently a WIP and, as always, is subject to change!

Play as male, female, or non-binary; gay, straight, lesbian, or bisexual!

Get caught up in a government conspiracy, or expose the corruption within!

Choose from six characters to romance: a chivalrous blacksmith, a charming physician, a socialite lawyer, the captain of the guard, the soft-spoken acolyte, or your mage friend from childhood!

Determine the ultimate fate of the kingdom! Will you lead it to ruin, or improve the state of affairs? Will you be a hero of the people, or a pawn in someone else's game?

Protect yourself, protect your loved ones, protect the city - or don't!

But above all, remember to keep the peace. The Crown thanks you for your cooperation.

Fortuna is rated 18+ for explicit language, sexual content, alcohol and drug use, violence, morally questionable behaviour, and more.

For a full list of content warnings, please see below the cut.

CONTENT WARNINGS: sexual situations (optionally explicit), abuse of power, sexism, misogyny, (occasionally graphic) depictions of violence, elements of horror, unreality, mentions of suicide, classism, alcohol and drug use, mentions of upsetting situations regarding pregnancy (abortions, miscarriages, stillborns, infertility, and birthing complications), confined and dark spaces, and death.

There may be some I've missed, but I've listed all the ones that I know for certain off the top of my head. Please reach out if there's something you've noticed that isn't listed here!

Please note that the MC is 29, almost 30; the most significant age gap is 9 years. Please do not message me about this. Everyone involved in the story is a consenting adult and is treated as such. If the gap in age bothers you, don't feel compelled to read it. I won't be upset.

I, myself, am 30 years old, and am fine with all listed age differences (obviously. I created these characters lol).

Now that that's out of the way, meet the ROs!:

Malcolm Ashford, 36 [M]

The primary blacksmith for the Crown ever since they took over his forge, though he's not exactly happy about it. Malcolm is a good, honourable sort; kindhearted and genuine, he's easy to approach and talk to. He is also the biggest hopeless romantic - a fact that Cyril never lets him forget. He can primarily be found at the forge in the centre of the courtyard marketplace.

Malcolm is 6'4" (193 cm), broad shouldered, muscular, and usually covered in some sort of soot. He has fair skin (but is usually sporting an intense farmer's tan), shoulder length light brown hair, a light beard, dark grey eyes, and a beauty mark just above his upper left lip.

His face claim is Eoin Macken.

Cyril Trevelyan, 34 [M]

An old friend of Malcolm's. If anyone asks, Cyril is a "non-practicing" physician. Previously a member of the Royal Physician's Guild, he has since left and now operates an illegal clinic in the lower quarters of the capital, where he can primarily be found, though he has been known to frequent a local tavern and can occasionally be spotted harassing Malcolm at the forge. Cyril is charming, outgoing, and would love to get to know you. Just don't expect him to be very forthcoming about himself.

Cyril is 6'2" (187 cm), with an athletic build. He has tan skin, short, cropped black hair, stubble, and hazel eyes. He has a small scar across his left eyebrow and another small scar through his upper lip.

His face claim is Miguel Ángel Silvestre.

Dominic / Dominica Trevelyan, 38 [M/F]

Cyril's older sibling and the current Commandant of the King's Army. They care about the citizens of Requiem, but are less idealistic than Cyril about how to go about bringing change. They generally mean well and try to make things as easy as possible for the masses, but it isn't always seen as enough. Their relationship with Cyril is... tense. To say the least. They are taciturn and serious, and could probably do with some lightening up.

D is 6'4" (193 cm) (M) / 6'1" (185 cm) (F). They are broad shouldered and a little paunchy, but muscular, strong, and a force to be reckoned with in battle. They have tan skin like their brother, short, black hair that they keep slicked back from their face, and light brown eyes.

Their face claims are Keon Alexander and Rosa Gilmore.

James Johnathan / Jane Josephine 'J.J.' St. James, 28 [M/F]

JJ is a notable lawyer from the noble St. James household, though they aren't typically the first one that comes to mind when the St. James name is brought up. No, that luxury would go to just about anyone else in their family, given JJ is the only one without magic. They're a hard worker, extremely diligent, but have just a teensy tiny chip on their shoulder. They're a bit smarmy, but there is a good heart in there. Somewhere.

JJ is 5'10" (177 cm) (M) / 5'8" (173 cm) (F). They have a lean, athletic build, pale skin, light blue eyes, and copper-brown hair.

Their face claims are Richard Madden and Philipine Urvois.

Amaryllis / Amaranthus Calyx, 30 [F/M]*

One of the royal twins, but also an acolyte to the Divine Valentine, goddess of mercy. They have chosen to dedicate their time to the Temple of the Divines, honing their healing magic and providing succor to those in need, emulating all the virtues Valentine embodies. They are soft spoken and kind, but sheltered and naive. They want to help, but have an impressive lack of self-awareness and preservation, and are more likely to get themselves into trouble unintentionally. Hopefully, you won't have to babysit them too much.

A is 5'10" (177 cm) (F) / 6'0" (183 cm) (M). Amaryllis has a slight, willowy build, shoulder length, dark brown hair that she wears in a bob, a small dusting of freckles across the nose, and dark brown eyes that (like most members of the royal family) are ringed with gold. Amaranthus has a lean, athletic build, short, dark brown hair kept neat and styled back from his face, and the same dark brown gold-ringed eyes as his sister. He also wears glasses, though he's constantly forgetting where he put them.

Their face claims are Adeline Rudolph and Kenta Sakurai.

*Unlike the other gender selectable ROs, A's gender setting determines which of the two twins you end up encountering as opposed to deciding the gender for one character. The other will appear in the story regardless, but will not be romanceable if you select the opposite gender. The other twin has a separate job, position, and demeanour and an entirely different personality from the chosen romanceable one, which will be determined by who you select as RO.

Elliott 'Eli' / Eleanor 'Ellie' Rosefinch, 30 [M/F]

Your oldest friend and most trusted confidant, they've known you since you were twelve and you've been thick as thieves since. They're one of the very few magic users in the capital, and have been recruited into SCEPTRE, the kingdom's elite training program for budding sorcerers. They're down to earth and easygoing, grounded, and calm under fire. They tend towards being the far more rational of the two of you.

E is 5'11" (180 cm), with a dancer's build. They have brown skin, short, curly black hair, brown eyes, and sparse freckling.

Their face claims are Dev Patel and Nikita Chadha.

[kyufeed]

[loullaby]

the loma who reblogged this post 4 months ago had no idea she would eat those words

[rofax]

I took a piece of art from my journal like, 2 years ago, and re-did it digitally bc it has been feeling ESPECIALLY POIGNANT LATELY.

[notsuchasecret]

Beloved friend, please do a ramble for me about your top three current favorite characters in WIPs and how they would cope with this disgusting summer heat. 💜

Frond! Thank you for the ask I love you too! 🫶

I live in the desert. Today, we had the lowest temperatures of the week, 111F (43.9C) for the high. It was a massive relief from the 120F (48.9C) we've been having. I'm dying.

So I super haven't been writing fanfic lately (gasp), which means these will all be original characters. They're also all from solo projects rather than what I'm working on with my writing partner, so they don't get as much attention as some of the others I have, but they are my babies nonetheless 😂

Ramble time!

Havervath Fontain (working name) (21 Lives) is, like, the literal worst kind of person to be around when the weather's like this. This little shit would make it everyone else's problem. You know those people who experience a minor physical discomfort and decide to cope with it by breaking the Geneva Convention? Yeah. He's the platonic boytoy of a king, too, so he doesn't face consequences ever, and he's going to keep it that way thank you very much. Hate this asshole. 3/10 do not recommend as a summertime buddy, unless you can get him to bitch about someone you dislike, then it might be entertaining.

Hyacinth Jones (Charming) is used to the heat. She doesn't have an air conditioner, and she doesn't want her roommate to waste too much of her magic cooling down their apartment. So she's gotten very good at things like wet towels on the neck and wrist and putting a block of ice in front of the fan and finding the spots with the best shade. She's figured out things like airy fabric in light colors to keep her skin safe without having a lot of weight on it. Upon moving into the palace, she can absolutely be found in a sports bra and her husband's wife's boxers, sprawled spread-eagle on the floor somewhere, enjoying all the glory of being the one percent, with 0 guilt about it for once. 8/10 - she may or may not make the space you're in actually cooler, but she at least has a good sense of humor about it.

Chimera (The Silverleaf Sentinels) spends as much of the summer as a little mouse with big ears tucked away in a hole somewhere as she can. If one of her friends drags her out by the tail to go be a human person she will, but they've got to find her first. -/10 - you don't spend time with Chimera in the summer. It's not possible.

[akitasimblr]

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transcript:

1 - moments of affection 2 - moments of more affection 3 - moments of romance 4 - moments of doubt 5 - moments of waiting 6 - moments of terror 7 - moments of heroism

[trannywithagodcomplex]

money spreadddddddd 🔥🔥🗣🗣

rockin it my wayyyyyy

ughhh

[synonymroll648]

personally i think there should be (or should’ve been) a scene where the gang’s in ravagog with ro and keefe wandered off so she’s like “WHERE is my SCRAWNY little AMOEBA” and one of her brothers we’ve never met in canon (i think she has more than one) overhears and rolls up a few pages later with a pet amoeba someone’s been watching for her while she’s been off bodyguarding, so to speak

[scopophobia-polaris]

I didn't even conclude my Ganondorf thoughts on Bloo's poll like an idiot