#life is so heavy rn
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miguel would tell you he loves you for the first time, his face would be certain, confident and firm but
heād breathe out a sigh of relief when you say you love him back and little tears would come out to rest on his pretty lashes as a hesitant- lovingā surprised, smile makes it way to his face
#idk why iām doing this rn#iām sad#and should be writing tmmrs kinktober fic#but UGH#life is so heavy rn#anyway#woooo heās so cute#miguel ohara#miguel o hara#miguel imagine#miguel o'hara imagine#miguel oāhara imagine#miguel oāhara x reader#miguel x reader#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara spider man#miguel ohara x reader#miguel oāhara fluff#miguel oāhara across the spider verse#miguel oāhara headcanon#miguel oāhara x you#miguel oāhara atsv#miguel oāhara blurb#miguel oāhara x y/n
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i fear will byers is never beating the clothing thief allegations
#hi here is a sneaky peeky of 10.2 for you all#i am chipping away at it i SWEARRRRRRR#brought to you by me (owns that shirt and is emotionally attached to it) and my ex (pretended to hate it for the bit but secretly thought#it was so funny)#will is endeared and hates himself for being endeared#we will have an estimated upload date soon! i am holding off on giving an estimate rn bc i will be out of town for the weekend#which is usually when my heavy writing happens bc hashtag 9-5 life#but we are chugging along#ch10#a cruel wednesday with you#acswy
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*sees a girl with heavy eyeliner*
My brain: oooh marlene mckinnon core
*sees a Queen/Bowie vinyl*
My brain: Sirius Black vibes!!!
*sees strawberry cupcakes*
My brain: so Lily Evans coded!!
*sees a rat*
My brain: PETER?????
#for legal reasons im not drunk but ive texted half my friends about it so#in my brain the PETER??? is shouting which rn feels funny#GOSH I GOTA GO TO SLEEP#its not even late but#yk what screw āfor legal reasonsā no police ofucer is on tumbrl. i had an aperol and it was HEAVY#the fact that i texted half my friends about this proves i need to get a lufe#*life#marauders era#the marauders#marauders#sirius black#marlene mackinnon#lily evans#peter pettigrew
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The brainrot took over and I spent all morning rambling/psychoanalyzing BigB and Grian cause they make me crazy
(Decent into madness under the cut)
So itās been established that Grian + Scar and Ren + BigB are soulmates. No matter what they will find each other- even outside of DL. Fate chose them and continues to choose them
Grian + BigB on the other hand are not soulmates, they just chose each other. Itās rare that they cross paths but typically theyāll stay nearby whenever they do.
3L had blue sword boys (BSB) which was the two of them and Martyn, though Martyn was the only one out of the three that called on the alliance. The desertās first plan happened at BigBās castle- an action that steered Scar away from BigB and towards Dogwarts even though aiming for BigB probably wouldāve gotten them more immediate results- something I know damn well Grian shoots for. I like to think this was because B was Grianās backup plan if Scar did die. āYour job isnāt to steal cookies, itās to do murderā if that was the sole reason for changing targets then why not just attack BigB instead of stealing his cookie?
They didnāt cross paths on the battlefield iirc, even when the desert stormed Dogwarts for the final time. BigB was absent when the desert went sky high and was largely uninvolved in most of the war. Though he sided with DW he didnāt fully stand against the desert, he didnāt stand against Grian. And when the desert stormed DW, BigB was mostly on the outskirts of that fight, which I think was because heās scared of combat. EDIT correcting myself here but BigB was in fact shot by Grian, even if unintentionally
The next time they see each other is when Scar comes along to sic Bdubs on BigB. The whole time Grian is begging BigB to ādo something!!ā And saying he canāt watch. EDIT 2 I watched the clip back and Grian specifically told him ādonāt go out without a fight.ā DONāT GO OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT.
Even after BigB panics and attacks him, Grian is still distraught over the fact that heās gone. He even justifies BigB attacking him as it being revenge for the arrow
Iām also fascinated by Bās decision to attack Grian instead of the other two reds. Grian was the only yellow name left, which was probably the reason why B went for him over Scar or Bdubs. It could be a fun idea for BigB to see that he was never truly on the desertās side and attack Grian as a response to that. Yes Grian was pleading for him to do something, but he made no actual attempt to save him. Grian was going to let them kill BigB, and B knew this
Anyways
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LL they didnāt really interact much- which does come into play during DL
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In DL Grian and BigB found each other day 1, but alas, not soulmates. But thereās a couple things established in their first interaction. Grian suddenly dropped like 6 hearts bc of Scar and started panicking asking for food. This established pretty much immediately that Grianās soulmate wasnāt going to save him and BigB was.
BigB, on the other hand, though Grianās disappointment, reads that Grian would have truly valued his company- not to mention how he knows that G wouldāve taken the lead on things B feels heās weakest at, considering they have past experience
Enter Ren! Ren is someone who truly does value and care about BigB but he is very bad at actually expressing this. He tries spinning negatives into positives instead of working through them- which isnāt a flaw necessarily but it is something that clashes with BigB
I would like to specifically point out that instead of listening to BigB when he said he doesnāt know how to build and teaching him some basics- Ren instead leans into the fact that BigB is bad at building. He decides they should make the ugliest base as a sort of inside joke but I canāt help but feel like BigB was a little hurt by that. He laughs along, but damn.. Ren intended this as some harmless fun but fails to recognize that itās not what BigB wanted, nor what he needed. BigB does learn to love the base for all its goofiness because he loves Ren, and wants to be there for him
Box pretty quickly becomes about what Ren wants- not through malicious intent but because they have different personalities. Ren is very loud and outgoing while BigB is more reserved.
Ren is someone who tends to jump into things headfirst while BigB tends to follow. Ren also has a habit of not listening to people- something he did in past seasons as well. DW almost crumbled because he failed to listen to Martyn, he got tunnel vision in LL while building the shadow fort and failed to save Cleo- not even realizing sheād died when the betrayal happened on his front doorstep
BigB, on the other hand, needs to be listened to. Again, heās a lot more reserved than other people but truly shines when he has a spotlight on him. LL was wonderful for this since, after his betrayal, the main plot thread of the fairy fort centered on him- on how his mistakes led to their demise and how it was up to him to fix the situation he caused. BigB stayed closer to his team than ever before, making sure that they knew he was trustworthy. However, B also ran away from the true issue, which was that he had betrayed Cleo. BigB was too scared to try to make amends with them after Cleo burned the fort to the ground, fearing for both his safety and the safety of his team.
Back to DL! BigB overcompensated for past mistakes by fully mirroring whatever Ren did, all the way down to getting a matching pair of sunglasses and dog ears. He didnāt agree with Renās decision to ban Pearl from Box, but stood by the decision since Ren had made it. Largely, BigB didnāt feel heard in the relationship- something thatās later discussed in coupleās counseling
Putting a pin in that!
On Grianās side of things he is in! An entire mess. Not only is he paired with a past fling, but Scar is almost constantly causing problems for him. Heās taking large chunks of damage, getting himself into stressful situations for Grian, and Grian has to drag him everywhere in order to get them to get along. Scar wasnāt even going to base with him, he was perfectly content in them living in separate bases when Grian needed to stay with his soulmate. It comes down to safety for Grian- he doesnāt think he can rely on Scar to keep the both of them out of harmās way. In fact, Grian has to hurt himself to be with Scar, even in their first interaction with the stalactite!!!!
Grian feels less like Scarās partner and more like Scarās mother, having to constantly watch after him and make sure heās out of trouble. I think Grian even remarks that being with Scar is like watching over a toddler.
Scarās behaving like this both to try and get Grian to be less uptight about every little thing and also as a means of getting back at him for said little things. Grian didnāt want the pandas in the house? Fine, heāll hop in some powdered snow. Grianās upset by him taking damage? Fine, he just wonāt eat for a bit. Scar knows itās not as serious as Grianās making it out to be but does nothing to reassure Grian.
All this does is push Grian away, so itās absolutely no surprise that Grian runs off. He tried! So hard! To fix the relationship and doesnāt see Scar putting in the same amount of effort. Again, Grian is his partner, not his caretaker. He shouldnāt be expected to constantly clean up after Scar
No G wasnāt perfect but goddamn
BigB on the other hand, has already been established as a Safe person. Both this season and in past seasons. Remember, Grian was completely absent from the fairy fort plotline, never actually crossing paths with the consequences of the betrayal. This affects both of them. Not only does Grian perceive him as safe, but BigB knows he has nothing to prove to Grian. He is loved regardless, while with Ren he feels the need to prove himself CONSTANTLY with little acknowledgement.
They both felt undervalued with their soulmate but were valued with one another. However, neither one of them wanted to actually leave their soulmate, which is where things get tricky. They were fully in the wrong for cheating on their soulmates, even if they did have a reason for doing so
But anyways
BigB got caught between Grian and Ren, the more he leaned to one side the more he lost the other. This is the same issue he had in 3L- coincidentally landing between the same people.
Both of them kept the other a secret to protect their peace more than their soulmate. Grian even goes as far as to gaslight Scar when Scar clearly knows heās being cheated on. BigB also lies about Grianās involvement in his and Renās 2nd death, leading Ren to focus solely on Bdubs.
Ren does this to find a target to defend BigB from rather than actually addressing the root of their problems- Renās inability to listen. He thinks that if he just Shows BigB how good of a soulmate he is, he can keep BigB at his side when thatās not what BigB needs. So now Box is caught in a cycle of trying to prove themselves to the other
Scar, on the other hand, doubles down on his behavior instead of making any changes. The only thing he does change is how much he listens to Grian. He basically becomes Grianās lackey, which was meant to address the fact that Grian feels like he has no control over his circumstances. However, he fails to recognize that the reason G thinks he lost control is because Scar himself is a rogue element.
So both sides continue to get worse in trying to course correct- which causes both of them to get into increasingly dangerous situations
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Also side bar, in writing this I realized if you swapped Grian for Ren they would be perfectly functional on both sides- since Renās course correction matches what Scar needs and Scarās course correction matches what Ren needs. Ren needs support while being a protector and Scar needs someone to stand by him. Grian needs someone whoās safe and BigB needs someone to guide him
Itās a really funny coincidence but anyways
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Ultimately it was Grianās impulsiveness that did them in- all four of them. He set the trap at Box trying something ambitious, and he went to get a warden for a last hoorah. I like to think he was emboldened by the fact that the soulmate feature had less emphasis to him in those final episodes. He was thinking about BigB and not Ren and considered Scar entirely separate from him. It also doesnāt help that two of the three soulmate couples that stayed together- were either dead(ranchers), or distant from him(clockduo). Boat boys fed into his chaotic nature through being silly goofy guys
Even after Grian ended his season, BigB still forgives him. He still cares!!
Iām not normal about this season whatsoever
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In LimL they really donāt properly interact until the very end but weāll get to that.
BigBās POV really reinforces that Grian is a loose canon. This was established in DL but LimL reinforces this in a more Romanticized kind of way. Grianās sort of framed as being dangerous in a fun way and not the āoh this oneāll kill me and dump my body off a bridgeā kinda way. Heās a Bad Boy, not a Bad Guy
On the other side of things, Grianās POV reinforces that BigB is āsafe.ā The only conflict he has with the Nosy Neighbors is the Judge Judy and Executioner plotline- which Grian doesnāt take seriously whatsoever. Meanwhile, the Bad Boys have conflict with literally everyone else on the server
So when Jimmy and Joel die, it is zero surprise that Grian comes running to BigB again! BigB canāt save him, he canāt even save himself, but goddamnit Grian still trusts him and BigBās too nice for is own good
And once again!! Itās Grianās impulsiveness that gets them killed
I would like to also point out the moment where B has 45 seconds left on his timer and while Pearl is desperately trying to save him, Grian sort of stands off to the side and gets ready to crit BigB out if he has to. Remember- Grian was fighting a losing battle to save his boys, it getting to the point where it just wasnāt worth the cost. He hesitated because he didnāt want to lose BigB but wasnāt quick to save him like Pearl was.
And honestly itās no surprise that Pearl was so quick to give him time. She spent the last season completely on her own and had nobody to turn to. Everyone she tried to stay with turned her away, and BigB was arguably the only person who didnāt outright shun her. Remember, he was only going along with Renās decision and I think she knows this. Now in LimL, Pearl has him as someone she can fully rely on, someone who stays at her side no matter what and I also think she panicked at the idea of being alone. Grian has a habit of making selfish decisions, and she knows that wonāt bode well for her if itās just the two of them. Plus she fully understands the power of a sacrifice and what it means to others. Hell, her victory was given to her THROUGH A SACRIFICE. Pearl knows damn well the amount of kindness it takes to do something like that, so her jumping to save B makes complete sense
I also like to think this calls back to 3L, with Grian not moving to save him from Scar and Bdubs. In both situations, Grian thinks BigB was going down anyways and is too scared to do anything to save him. But while BigB couldnāt do anything then, he can do something now. Grian is grateful for the extra time but I canāt help but think this pushed BigB away
Pearl was the last of that trio iirc, with both BigB and Grian dying in clumsy ways
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SL they coincidentally wound up on the same corner of the map and most of BigBās silly goofy behavior was directed at Grian but I really need to watch their POVs again to do a proper analysis so weāre putting a pin in that until later
#anyways this is barely proof read so sorry if I come across as a rambling lunatic#DL was an entire mess for them and their soulmates and they did not handle it well#trafficshipping#including that for DL mostly#grian#bigbst4tz2#trafficblr#life series smp#Iām normal about them I prommy#these two are The toxic yaoi for me rn so donāt mind my insanity#krashās insanity rambles#heavy on the INSANITY for this one#the power of grib had a death grip on me abt a year ago lmao#(still does but Iām normal now)
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let me tell y'all this week has lasted for YEARS. My ass is KICKED. sorry for not being responsive to comments/asks/messages this week š„²š„²š„²
#im so ready for the weekend#i wanna catch up on some asks#also im very nearly done the next 10 pages of life after#thosell all go on kofi when i finish#i cant wait to get thru the next 20 pages i have thumbed#part 4 is more convo heavy part 3 is all action#its been really hard tbh šµāš«#but also i just wanna draw band au and forgetful#but ive been making nyself finish some life after#but the only time i have rn is in the train while i commute#anyway hi that's it im wrecked#nonsense
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t shirt that says i would rather be doing manual labour of any difficulty than this
#i never wanted to chop wood so bad in my LIFE bru#im fully daydreaming about lumberjacking rn#hell i even miss river conservarion work experience rn. that was barely even labour it was just standing in rivers and carrying heavy stuff#catwyk.txt
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hello; i just wanted to say i respect you immensely for the resources you publish on a daily basis. i'm sure you have your own motivations for doing so, but if it ever becomes hard for you to manage, please take some time to care for yourself and your health. you are far more important than i feel you give yourself credit for.
You are so sweet, dear Anon. No worries, though! About +90% of my posts on this blog are now queued. It seems like I'm always on here, but I'm not. Usually you can tell I'm here when I answer replies on posts, or messages like this. But sometimes these are queued too. Or is it.
#anonymous#yup this one's queued too i'm actually not here (maybe) when this posts#sometimes i log on here in between ālifeā & im just here for a split sec to answer a few qs then im gone again (like rn)#& the queue does the heavy lifting#like i can leave this blog alone for days & uh there WILL be posts (did this a few times alr & so sry if it seemed i was ignoring messages)#& bc i need to space out my posts bc i used to get messages that i post too much like someone said im the only one they see on their dash#& my āmotivationsā for this is that a lot of this has been in my drafts and old files too long - just wanted to organise them initially#but uh yeah theyre still a mess --- work in progress for me !#& was more of a mess when i accidentally clicked the āshuffleā queue --- that one time#so at first i q'd 1 post a day but then the queue ran til like 2027 & i was like i need to q more per day#so im soooo sry for littering ur dash -- i have the sideblogs for those who want a less chaotic posting sched#no but seriously thank you for this lovely message#i hope you're taking care of yourself too & i really appreciate you taking the time to message me#ok i talk too much be back again soon ---- bye#<3
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do you write fic on ao3?
unfortunately for everyone involved i do!
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#ask#and if youre wondering about my handle i write on anon so its doesnt particularly matter (shrugs)#and also i think its pretty easy to figure out which fics ive written because i want to makeout mad sloppy style with an em dash#anyways (waves offhandely) it doesnt really matter much because i have like posted an ss on here before so you know#its not like im trying to hide it like eh#but also because of my disposition that would put a tranced rabbit to shame i dont exactly yell it from the hilltops either#the moral of the story is if you ask me what im working on ill yap about it maybe like post an excerpt#and months later youll find something posted on anon and youll be like oh! so they finally posted it!#so to spare you all (lies on my tummy like we're at a sleepover and giggles) you wanna hear what im working on#haha of course you do youre a prisoner in my yap box#and i want an excuse to talk about it hidden in the tags so people skim over it and not read it <3#SO the earliest wip is from like early october about a magical realism au because i rewatched lwa as i usually do and well theres this one#ep about a magical animal if you will... and you can kinda guess what it is from that lol its sashaforsyekky#because the dreaded @/tungpin infected me with the brainworms about this trio specifically#and it really is ekky going š„ŗ at whatever sashaforsy have (persumably) got going on woe is him its at 5k rn but uh ive stalled progress#because puppyekky has consumed my every thought which leads me to my second wip that ive been labouring over since the start of october#that also just broke 5k and not even remotely done lol whoops but its puppy ekky in a team environment with a heavy emphasis on the euros#rn there are scenes scrabbled out with sasha (multiple) mikksy luosty lundy and forsy. i know i have an idea for bobby.#and really lets see where the muse takes us i have vague ideas that are mmmhmm but we'll see when we get there!#the third one isnt the most likely to get finished but uh it is sashamaffhew global series stuff because it stemmed from#āit really is funny that sasha is treating the finland trip like he knocked up a girl#and is trying to make her meet his parents so it doesnt feel like a shotgun wedding when he you know marries her to take responsibilityā#and i just think a maffhew pov with that thought in mind because of the whole touchy at e11even thing is funny to me like think mundane#slice of life oh i feel like im being wined and dined i hope i dont fuck it up jfc i think im fucking it up oh god this feels romantic#anyways it feels remotely ooc to me and it really was more of like a writing break from the wips stated above so (shrugs)#might not see the light of day but its 2k as of now so i do feel its a shame if i dont /try/ to finish it you know? its just low priority#anyways thats my writing check in and i am a prisoner to my own mind i will go insane haha these wont be published anytime soon#because i am slow and get distracted soooo easily so you know <3
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Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)
Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.
"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."
Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!
O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.
Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.
Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.
Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.
The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.
The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.
Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.
"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"
Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.
"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.
"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"
The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???
"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."
"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."
Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.
"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).
Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.
Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!
Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.
"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.
Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.
"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.
The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.
The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.
Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.
"!CƔllate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!
A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.
Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.
Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.
Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.
Miguel's nonono no puedo mƔs no puedo mƔs. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.
"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.
"Snitch!"
Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!
Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.
Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.
#hi. ive seen this movie 8x in theaters and twice on pirating sites. i am unwell#also sorry not sorry for the miguel slander. i am a miles loyalist thru and thru thst bitch is on thin ice#but also literally can't get over gwen āit really is so nice to get to talk to you. me & him its different. in every other universe...stacy#cause directly underneath that she's actually saying. āi missed you. and what i have with you i literally do not have with anyone else and.#you dont know this but ive met hundreds and thousands of spiderpeople. nd even in my friendship with hobie its not like what i have with yo#and im actually really smitten with you. the one person i shouldn't be smitten with bc there is no happy ending for us. and idk...#if i should hold off. and im letting you know all this so that you can decide for me. whether to take that lesp of faith or not with you. &#hope that say yes and make the first move so that i cant but help to just sink into you.ā#AND IT MAKES SENSE! SHE MET HIM JUST AS HE WAS LIVING THROUGH AN EXPERIENCE SHE DID. OF BECOMING SPIDEY. AND RIGHT AFTER#SUFFERING THE GREATEST TRAGEDY OF HER LIFE WHICH SHE WAS ABOUT TO BEAR WITNESS THRU WITH HIM. SHE WAS THERE FOR HIS UNCLE DYING AND WATCHED#HIM BECOME SPIDERMAN. WE FORGET THAT THEY ACTUALLY WENT THRU SOME HEAVY THINGS TOGETHER. THEYRE TRAUMABONDED. I KNOW THATS NOT WHAT THAT WO#ACTUALLY MEANS. BUT IT MAKES SENSE THAT SHE CAN ONLY TALK TO MILES BC THEY PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND EO.#anyways idk why im shouting. im high rn. but crazy how all of that meaning was subtly thrown in there. like we got a confession scene folks#from gwen of all people! i love that for me.#also back to miguel: so i know he's hot. but if a hot person were to ever be rude to a waiter we agree theyre no longer hot right? right.#atsv#miles morales#itsv#miguel o'hara#the spot#ghostflower#gwiles#gwen stacy#ghost spider#gwen x miles#rio morales#across the spider verse#into the spider verse
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repeating ājealousy is a disease get well soon bitchā in my head every time i block rude anons and delete hatemail so i can try to brush it off but i am not ur strongest soldier so can you all stop being mean š©· please
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#ā”.gabi barks#im okay i prommy (im crying rn)#like omg seriously what did i do!!!!! i dont do anything but mind my fucking business!!!! and talk to my precious little friends!!!!!! but#apparently i cant even do that bc no matter what i always get meanies in my inbox š¤#like im seriously not doing anything i just came back and im already receiving asks telling me to kms and deactivate like do yall realize#im a person too.. like im literally real and i have feelings and im not a complete ditz#like what is so hard about treating people with kindness!!!!#ive spent all morning blocking mean anons and deleting asks and trying to brush off the mean words i see and receive and it hurts!!!!#im just a girl#if u send hate or tslk meanly to or about me im assuming ur a LEWSER and have no life bc i dont even do anything fr!!!!! im coolin!!!!!#i was gonna post this with the jealousy is a disease get well soon girl meme but i couldnt find it#anyway im fine!!!! (as im actively texting my therapist)#no bc im so upset and so angry WHAT AM I DOING WRONG#what am i doing to deserve this like please give me a valid answer so i can fix it im so tired of being sad and mistreated and bullied :(#i know i promised i was gna try to be more active but my little heart is so heavy and sad
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Every so often I gently touch my screen when I scroll past my Eva prints PSDs and the WIPs I have...
I'm going to redo them like 70% but those backgrounds, and the units themselves were so GOOD. The kids just look like hot trash to me now LMAO... and the flowers need some TLC....
But like god my computer has a fucking SHIT FIT if I try to load them....
I WAS COOKIN'????
I THINK ABOUT THE SHADING ON UNIT 02 a LOT, BUT ALSO MY ARTISTIC FAILINGS OF ANGLES I COULD IMPROVE ON NOW. The fact I was redoing this and my PC shut down and that's why the right side isn't fixed :))
My ass had both a yellow and BLUE PLANNED FOR GIRLLY GIRL...
I COULD DO YOU ALL FASTER, BETTER, AND NICER IN CLIP STUDIO NOW... I could JUGGLE YOU BETWEEN PHOTOSHOP AND CLIP STUDIO SO WELL NOW... THE TEXTURES I COULD ACCOMPLISH, THE WORK FLOW I HAVE NOW??? OUGH.
UGH.
It's yearning hours, because my PC is currently still trying to save layer files on a commission piece, and it's lagging my mouse because it's apparently confused what USB ports are.
#kat life#kat talks#I have to fucking go to the dentist and hannibals surgery is gonna be like 10k and I have a huge debt I'm still paying and I'm just TIRED!!#I just wanna buy my bougie 4k computer and 3D model a Felix to print and sand and paint for my desk!!! THAT'S ALL I WANT IN LIFE#I just want to fucking finish my old Felix model!! I got halfway done with him and my program just closed and said ānope sorryā#AND I HAVE HUNGERED SINCE BUT SHIT KEEPS GETTING IN MY WAY BECAUSE I HATE THE IDEA OF EXACERBATING MY DEBT WHEN I'M ALREADY DROWNING!!!#it's late night bitching and yearning hours#like I'm SCREAMING I'M ON A LOOP#all I do is bitch about money and health and my computer!!!#I wish I had more time for art to make my patreon actually interesting and worth it and get that to actually be financially helpful#I'm grateful to my patrons I just mm wish I had more time and energy to put into it?? I wish I had more output but I'm so stupid!!#Honestly if I could just screen record and share process videos I'd LOVE THAT BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE IT AT LEAST KINDA WORTH IT?? but le pc#in general though a lot of my old art is very HEAVY for this PC to load still... for some reason. A lot of pieces I want to revisit and red#like their colors and layer settings give such a DISTINCT look and I wanna hone back in on that?? so much NS stuff.... ;;;;#There's so many interesting little Felix pieces I wanna finish... I had a whole ZINE PLANNED back before the p*rn ban chased everyone off#the ambition of old Kat is unmatched I swear.... god damn
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Iām still reeling from the impact Helene left around here. I didnāt want to think the rumors and stuff were true, but hearing it from people I know and trust irl and seeing footage of stuff around areas Iām familiar with has left me devastated and extremely upset about everything.
It hit me hard once the rain stopped and I went into town. It hit me even harder once my internet and cell service stabilized and I saw all the news.
Iām really struggling to process stuff right now. I probably will be for a long time until some normalcy gets restored around here. I count myself blessed Helene didnāt hurt me or my loved ones, but it hurt my community and is continuing to do so and thatās just not okay at all.
Iām burnt out about the news but canāt escape it cause itās here in my neighborhood happening and being discussed and updated daily. I hope people stop wishing ill on folks. Itās awful and it sickens me the responses Iāve seen from the media and the web from some people.
Just stop.
Weāre hurting and it doesnāt matter how prepared you think we were, it was unavoidable. Where do you suggest people shouldāve gone when even the highest mountain couldnāt avoid the flooding? Iām lucky to have a decent internet signal on the best days where I live. Imagine everyone else around me who doesnāt have any connection to the world except though maybe radio or a landline?
Itās not like weāre stupid. Just stop assuming things. What we need is help, aid, and general support and awareness.
I donāt mean to monologue here. Iām still grieving over the devastation and that takes time.
Iām just so sick of seeing people acting like they know better about the disaster. Itās way way more intricate than you think.
#hurricane helene#appalachia#life update#Iām not doing so hot atm#Iāll be better once some normalcy occurs#itās kind of stifled my already limited motivation atm#imma eventually get back into a groove here#but for now Iām just trying to keep moving forward#wonāt get political on here#but damn did this disaster start some shit#yāall are welcome to message me here or whatevs#I donāt bite#just dealing with some heavy stuff rn#also just yeahā¦#not trying to start fights#not up to debate either#like I know the topics#Iām here living it#so not gonna argue#but feel free to just reach out to people?#yeah#imma shut up now#it late#shut up sky
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listen to me. tiffany relating to bride of frankenstein (1935) is a subversion of the title of the film bride of chucky because even though she is the titular bride of chucky, it's not the bride who she related to in the movie, it's the original frankenstein monster. she goes to all this trouble to put chucky back together and bring him back to life (like the creature demands to have someone made for him that he can spend his life with) and then she finds out that he never intended to propose to her and laughs at her for assuming that after finding the ring on the mantel the night he died (like the creature is rejected immediately by the bride who is afraid of him), and the shot of her crying while watching the movie is a direct response to the creature's tears in the movie. then at the very end it's the creature's words that she uses when she says "we belong dead." so the assumption that she is moved by the movie because she feels kindred to the bride (just because "bride" is in both titles of the film and they're both women) is incorrect, she's actually aligned with the creature in both scenes that reference bride of frankenstein. and this makes way more sense for her character throughout the film, since as the writers have said she has "more conventional" motivations (such as the desire for love and companionship and understanding, just like the creature) than chucky, who is more "straightforwardly bloodthirsty." hey did you hear me. i said
#......... anyway#sorry if this is redundant/obvious i've just seen people say that tiffany relates to the bride while watching the movie#which is just clearly untrue. anyway........#one of the reasons the original child's play script was rewritten is because it didn't have the 'frankenstein moment'#where the monster is comes to life (literally and to the audience)#which was the story element that became the opening scene of the movie#so the series has always had a little bit of this frankenstein idea to it#imo it's just a lucky series of events that the series got picked up by universal and they could bring that connection into focus more#imo it's the best motif that's carried through this movie it just works really well#but i'm biased lol i love bride of frankenstein#also i think it's better that using that scene brings into focus the tensions of chucky and tiffany's relationship#(similar to jesse and jade's relationship being a foil for theirs as well)#instead of being so literal that like bride of chucky = bride of frankenstein in some heavy handed pseudo-remake#anyway !!#can you tell i'm procrastinating actual shit i have to work on rn#chucky
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almoat fell asleep for a second but then had a very bizarre thing happen where it felt like what i can only describe as the beginning of a stroke. but hey i have work in 5 hours
#very odd heavy numb feeling in the side of my head rn and the thing felt like a long hallway suddenly rushed my soul thru it lol#and had full body tingles n white dots dance around n shit this is so fucking fun i love my life.#i love knowing that stress alone is actively killing me. legit killing me. i have definitely lost years from this shit acgg#putting the phone down now and attempting to rest for the last 2 hours i have a chance to š
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it hurts a lot like literally the one single thing i could ever ask for out of this life. and i just will never be able to have it. and i donāt understand why. and everyone else seems to have it if not the opportunity to acquire it
#when people ask me what i want out of life or what could change for me to be happy#i know it wouldnāt magically fix everything. but it would make me happy. it would at least help. wouldnāt it make things at least a little#bit easier#i donāt ask for much. i donāt want anything extravagant#it weighs so heavy on my heart. it all just hurts so much doesnāt it#god. i feel so stupid rn. sitting on the floor of a bathroom at work#trying so hard not to cry and failing#i donāt know what to do with myself anymore#itās just so obvious ill never be allowed to be happy and i donāt know what im supposed to do from here#how am i expected to live the rest of my life with that weight#snow.txt
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man where's vampire endo when u need him
#he'd be eating so well rn too like#heavy flow feeding him for a solid week and a half#maybe two if i'm unlucky#āā yapping#sorry guys my minds been idek lately#probably bc of my period or life or wtvrrr
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